First Person: A Film About Love (2019) Movie Script
1
[Wind blowing]
[Heart beating]
[Annabelle] I wake up,
and immediately I'm
excited to go into work.
It's ridiculous.
I get butterflies now
when I go into the office.
It's been like this
for 3 months.
I couldn't figure out why.
Maybe I didn't even
realize it at first.
You know, when you're
so happy all the time,
you don't even realize it
because it just feels normal?
What's that like, being happy
as your normal state of mind?
How do you put a label on that?
One day I'm in the
car in a traffic jam
and I'm listening to KCRW
and it hits me.
I'm excited to go and do PR.
I've never been excited to
go and do PR ever in my life
and yet there I was,
delirious.
That's when my chest
hurt for the first time.
It always starts
in a parking lot...
gradually at first.
By the time I get
to the elevators,
I can barely breathe.
Every morning,
I sit at breakfast,
and I cannot wait to
get up from the table
and get into my car and
hit the rush-hour commute
and come to my office
and sit at my desk
and just see his name
up there on iChat,
just knowing that
I can message him
throughout the day
about anything
or nothing, or...
everything.
Sometimes we go for lunch
in the food court. Not always.
Like two, 3 times a week...
which is fucking great.
You know, he texts me at 9:30,
and we ended up texting
for like 3 hours...
3 hours nonstop, just talking.
Everything's so easy with him.
It's just so free and easy.
And I realize
this is why I've been
so excited the last weeks,
why I've been in such good mood.
It's not the job.
Of course it's not
the fucking job.
It's... him...
this man, this wonderful man.
And suddenly, he's
all I can think about
all day, every day.
I can't go 10 minutes
without thinking about him.
[Indistinct chatter]
You are the first person
I've told about this.
Um, you're the only person
I've told about this,
and it's taken me 3 months.
Does he know about
Richard and Caleb?
[Annabelle] Of course.
[Catherine] And
he's fine with that?
Well, he's single.
What's he got to lose?
I mean, for all I know,
it's a turn on for him
how completely unavailable I am.
And yet you still
meet him for drinks?
Do you think I'm
a terrible person?
[Caleb coughing]
[Annabelle] Is he OK?
He just started coughing.
[Annabelle] What?
When did that start?
I don't know. I... but
it could be last night.
Why didn't you tell me?
I... I... I thought I did.
But go on, go to sleep.
It's fine.
[Caleb] Daddy?
[Richard] I promise.
Stay right there.
You need to go back to sleep.
[Brett] Battery dead?
[Annabelle] Uh, yeah,
it is, actually.
I have, uh, some
jumper cables in my car.
I can pop the hood up
and jump it.
You know what I mean.
[Chuckles]
[Brett] Do you wanna go
get a drink with me?
I know a great spot
down the street.
They got a happy hour that
starts in, like, 15 minutes.
Considering now my
schedule is completely free
because I missed my appointment.
[Exhales sharply]
Yeah. Uh, OK. Sure.
[Annabelle moaning]
[Groans]
How the fuck did I get so lucky?
How do you only get better
and better and younger
and totally even sexier?
Oh, my God.
What do you say
we have another kid?
May get lucky and have a girl?
What?
You know,
so Caleb can have
a little sister.
You're kidding?
No.
Honey, I can't have
another kid right now.
We don't have to
have one right now,
but maybe, like, 9 or 10 months?
I'm serious.
[Chuckles]
What? So am I.
Honey, I don't want
another baby right now.
I think it would be good
for him to have a sibling.
What... why not now?
Because...
[Sighs] maybe later,
in a few years.
Few years?
Come on. He's almost 4.
Come on.
Can we talk about this tomorrow?
I'm tired.
We can talk about it in 4 years
because obviously, you don't
want to have another kid.
Ridiculous.
Why don't you want
to have a kid?
I do.
Just...
not now.
[Annabelle] Richard wants
us to have another baby.
He thinks it would
be good for Caleb.
And that is all I need
in my life right now.
What the fuck am I doing?
What if he ever found out?
[Catherine] I thought you
were cooling things off.
[Annabelle] I am.
I was. I will. I will.
I will. I will. I will.
[Catherine] It ain't worth
possibly ruining Caleb's life.
[Annabelle] Ruining
Caleb's life?
I think I'm...
falling in love with him.
You are not falling
in love with him.
You're horny and you're
excited because it's fresh.
No, that's not true.
That's not fair.
Fair? On Caleb?
Caleb is 3 and
doesn't know shit.
[Catherine] He's about to be
4. And you don't know that.
Kids are a lot smarter than
you give them credit for.
[Annabelle] Oh,
thanks, Catherine.
When I need a lesson
on what children are like,
I'll be sure to ask you.
[Catherine] I was thinking
for Caleb's birthday party,
we could do a Mad
Hatter's tea party.
Invite all our friends
with kids his age.
Maybe get a pony
for them to ride.
[Annabelle] A pony?
Or a magician, then,
one that can make
animal balloons.
Kids love that sort of thing.
Mason suggested
getting a bouncy castle.
Let's not spoil him.
[Catherine] It's
not spoiling him.
It's his birthday.
It'll be fun.
I don't think so.
Oh, come on.
Mason said if we wanted to...
I said no.
Stop trying to be
a mother to my child.
I'm not trying to be
the mother to your child.
I'm just trying to
do something nice.
Sorry.
[Annabelle] Do you know
I recall almost nothing
about Caleb's birth?
Only that it was very painful.
Painful and very long...
even with all those drugs.
Such agony.
I don't even remember holding
him till the next day.
And then I remember
thinking that I have to be
responsible for this.
I don't think I loved him yet.
I didn't love him.
How could I love him?
I didn't know him.
All those mothers who
claim to fall in love
with their children the
minute they're handed them.
[Chuckles]
It's such bullshit.
Hey, guys, we're home.
[Chuckles]
What's up?
You wanna go say hi
to Aunt Catherine?
See if she's got
a treat for you?
[Laughs]
Come here.
I made your favorite cookies.
You want one?
[Caleb] Yes.
Yes? Yum, yum, yummy.
Yummy cookies.
Yummy, yummy cookies.
[Chuckles] Mmm.
Is that good?
Do you like it?
[Caleb] Yeah.
[Catherine] Delicious?
As good as my last ones?
Better?
[Caleb] Yeah.
[Catherine gasps]
[Richard chuckles,
Catherine kisses]
Did you have a good day today?
[Richard] I'm gonna go inside.
See you guys in a little bit.
[Catherine] Yeah.
[Indistinct chatter]
[Sighs] I'm just trying
to be completely abstract.
Nothing figurative.
Usually they're figurative.
Yeah. I like this new period.
I wouldn't exactly
call it a period.
Have you seen my new stuff?
Stuff on Instagram?
[Richard] Yeah.
[Mason] Yeah.
[Laughter]
It's freezing.
[No audible dialogue]
[Woman laughs]
Shit.
[Applauding and cheering]
[Catherine] I'll go get
a broom. Guys, watch out.
There's broken glass.
[Richard] Hey,
guys, don't, uh...
Put your shoes on.
[Indistinct chatter]
[Woman] I know. It was
just a small nugget.
[Indistinct conversations]
[Airplane engine roaring]
[1920s jazz music playing]
I'm not stalking you, I swear.
It's just a coincidence.
I didn't think you were.
You look great.
I love the shirt.
I didn't know you knew Mickey.
Doesn't everybody?
If Catherine sees us here, she's
gonna think we set this up.
When can I see you again?
- I need to see you again. - I
don't think it's appropriate.
Don't say that. All
right? Don't say that.
Don't tell me it's
not appropriate, baby.
When I close my eyes,
I can still taste you.
God, stop.
I love the way you taste.
Stop it. Stop it.
I wanna taste your
wet cunt on my...
Oh, my God.
[Panting]
[Moans softly]
I touch Richard and
I feign affection.
It's got so I barely
notice it anymore.
He can manufacture just
the right performance
to keep the deception alive.
The gentle caresses,
sweet kiss and loving glances,
tender gropes...
the after-dinner blowjob
to forego another night
of sloppy penetration...
the cuddling in bed.
Just going through the motions.
He's a sweet man...
and decent.
And he's a good father.
And I feel no guilt whatsoever.
When I'm with Brett...
I don't feel
completely in control.
I feel...
[Chuckles]
I feel like a teenage girl
having an affair
with an old man.
That's... that's rare for me.
I'm not saying that's
what turns me on
because it isn't.
God, but I like
not being in control.
With Richard, I'm
always in control.
I always have been.
There's nothing unpredictable
about Richard, nothing.
With Brett, I never know
what's gonna happen next...
by which I mean I never
know what I'm gonna do next.
[Will Hanson] But you
don't feel anything
That I think...
By which I mean I never
know what I'm gonna do next.
[Singer] At all
[Woman screams]
[Birds chirping]
Hey, look what I found.
Mm.
Remember when Lily took that?
Oh, this feels so
long ago already.
[Richard] Well, I
was thinking of, uh,
getting Mason
a scanner or something,
see if he could get
that crease out.
Hmm?
Well...
Hmm, bacon's so good.
Mmm.
Well...
I started working on
a new piece the other day.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
I'm really excited about it.
I mean, it just started
coming out of me.
I haven't had that, like,
passion in a while.
I think it's gonna
be something good.
Good.
I'm glad.
Can't wait to see it.
[Caleb] Daddy.
Hmm.
Work calls.
[Caleb] Daddy.
[Richard] All right,
see you in a little.
[Annabelle] I love your skin...
your smile.
I love the taste of your lips...
[Kiss]
your tongue...
Oh, I love those eyes...
when they look at me.
I love it when your
eyebrows wrinkle together
when you're staring at me.
[Giggles]
And I love your cock...
how you feel in my
mouth when you throb.
Mm, I love you inside me.
[Kiss]
I love it how you look at me...
like you've never seen
a naked girl before.
Please never leave me.
Promise me you'll
never leave me.
[Kiss]
I'd do anything to keep you.
All I want is you.
I'd leave them if you ask me to.
I would.
[Kiss]
I didn't realize
it, but I... I would.
Don't say that.
What do you mean?
Don't say that.
But I would.
I would.
I'm going on a date on Thursday.
[Chuckles]
A date? Really?
Yeah, that girl Samantha
from Mickey's party...
the one with the
glass in her foot.
She asked me to go see
"The Long Goodbye"
at the new Bev, and I said yes.
What are you talking about?
I don't think it's a big deal.
[Annabelle exhales]
What are you... what
are you talking about?
[Brett] It's just a movie.
- Well...
- Are you upset?
[Annabelle] I don't really
understand what you're saying.
When...
Why are you going on
a date with someone?
[Brett] I didn't
wanna lie to you.
[Annabelle] I... Have you...
have you been
seeing someone else
all the time? Have you...
[Brett] Absolutely not.
[Annabelle]
Why... why are you going
on a date with her?
Why are you going on
a date with her?
[Brett] She asked me
to go see a movie.
I said, yeah. I didn't think
it was a big fucking deal.
Why are you going to
a movie with anyone else?!
Oh, God, I'm so embarrassed.
Annabelle, you have a husband.
What are you saying
this to me for?
[Brett] You are
marr... you're...
Stop talking! I
can't listen to you.
Why are you so upset right now?
You're married.
I know!
[Brett] You have a husband.
[Annabelle] You knew it!
You met me when I was married.
I fucking laid there and said
that I would leave them for you.
Do you not want me?
Do you not want me at all?
You just let me pour my heart...
You... Oh, my God.
[Moans]
and you fucking listened
and you took it all.
Did it make you
feel really good?
Did it make you...
[Moans]
How could you do this to me?
I am so much
better than you are.
You're a piece of shit.
You're a little speck
of dirt on my life.
Do they get... get with you?
[Chuckles]
They must be having
a fucking laugh.
I hope that you get
on really well with her
and that you fuck her.
I hope it's so fucking good
and she gives you AIDS
and you both fucking die.
I can't believe that
you did this to me.
[Brett] I can't believe
you're jealous of me.
I can't believe
you're jealous of me...
I'm not fucking jealous of you!
[Brett] and you have a husband.
I fucking let you inside me!
I have a husband and a child,
and I let you fuck me!
And this is what I get!
I fucking hate you!
I can't fucking believe this.
[Door beeps, door slams]
[Annabelle sobbing]
[Muffled scream]
[Door opens, door beeps]
[Computer voice] Lock door.
[Annabelle] I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
I'm never like that, please.
I'm so sorry.
Don't you understand
the only reason I'm going
on that thing is I can't let you
just consume my entire life?
Why?
You know why.
No, I don't want him.
I don't want him.
I never wanted him.
I just want you.
I was never in love with him.
I was... I was in love with
the idea of being in love.
It was just a silly idea.
It was dreams.
I wanna share a life with you.
I wanna be with you
always, just me and you.
I wanna have a family with you.
I don't know if I'm ready
to look after a child.
That's OK. We can wait.
We can wait. We can wait.
We can wait until you're ready.
I was talking about Caleb.
OK.
I've been thinking a lot
about what happened
the other day,
about what's been happening.
Do you think chromosomes
could be so detailed,
they can make us react a
certain way to certain things?
Like twins separated at birth.
[Woman] Thank you, Catherine.
[Catherine] Oh.
That was perfect.
If it was perfect, does
that mean I've got the job?
OK.
Thank you.
[Man] Who have we got next?
Hmm, I think I
preferred the other one.
Yeah.
This one's kind of boring.
It's very boring.
Ours is not going to be boring.
[Catherine] Oh, hey, baby.
[Woman] Hi.
Oh, hey, Carly.
You're back early.
- What are you doing?
- Research.
- We're making a short.
- Oh, yeah?
[Catherine] Mm-hmm.
[Carly] Yeah, we've been
watching shorts all afternoon.
How was the audition?
[Carly] Bad.
Not great.
But, I mean, it was
a bad part, anyway.
That's why we're
making our own film
so we can put ourselves in it.
So get your checkbook out.
Here. Lie down.
I'm gonna give you
a Reiki massage.
-What's with the crystals?
[Carly] Yeah?
Um, they're fertility crystals.
They help with fertility.
It's been proven.
Right. And imagine a white line
going down the
bottom of your feet,
your toes.
It's all awaking your body.
[Carly] Imagine
a seed being planted
right beneath your belly button.
[Catherine] So, Carly and I
are thinking of making a film...
a short.
We're gonna make a short.
Because, you know, we're just
tired of waiting around
for someone to cast us,
and we just thought
we'd go ahead and do it
ourselves, you know?
[Annabelle]
And who's gonna make it?
Do you think these are nice?
- Are they too hipster?
- No, I don't like them.
We are. Ourselves.
We've written it, and...
[Annabelle] What,
do you know anything
about directing, though?
[Catherine] I know about acting,
and we wrote the parts for us,
so it's not like
we're gonna have to do
that much directing.
And we're gonna get
a really good DP,
like, a really good
one, you know?
Why do you have to
question everything I do?
- I'm not.
- You are.
I just... do you think
I'm an idiot or something
just 'cause I don't work in some
fucking boring 9:00 to 5:00?
[Annabelle] You know
that's not true.
[Catherine sighs]
[Catherine] I don't
know why I bother.
[Annabelle] God, Catherine,
that's so unfair.
I'm always helping you out.
Who helped pay for your new car
when you totaled your last one?
I didn't total it.
And when you wanted to do those,
what do call them,
pottery classes,
and when you wanted
to be a painter,
I set you up with
Richard's friends and...
Yeah, but it always
comes with a lecture.
It always comes with
some fucking little...
[Instrumental music playing]
So you and Carly
are making a short.
- OK.
- It's fine.
No.
Don't. come on.
Tell me. I wanna know.
We're making a short
to showcase our talent
because it's really hard
to get work right now,
so we thought why don't we
go out and do it ourselves?
So you've said.
Anyway, we thought
if we're gonna do it,
we should do it right, you know,
and get like a proper sound guy
and a DP and lights and stuff.
So we thought we'd go
out to all our friends
and families and see if
they want to be investors.
And however much
they invest and...
Haven't you thought
about GoFundMe?
We're doing that. We
just thought we'd ask
our close friends
and family first.
And what's the final goal?
-10,000.
[Annabelle clears throat]
I know it's a lot, but
we actually need 15,
but I think we can do it for 10.
Mason already pledged 500.
[Annabelle] Mm-hmm.
You know Richard hasn't
been selling much lately.
What if it doesn't work?
I mean, like, don't explode.
Uh, I'm just saying,
and this isn't
meant to offend you,
but if you keep missing
out on acting jobs,
maybe it's time to think
about doing something else.
Have you listened to
anything I've just said?
Yeah, I am, and I think
it's a really good idea,
but...
- Mm-hmm.
What if, you... you know,
you're... you're not
a... great actress?
At what point do
you start wondering
if you should have a new career?
You know, I was an actress, too,
and we did pretty well,
but at some point,
I just had to grow up.
You gave up because
you had Caleb.
[Annabelle] It's not like
you're gonna be a movie star.
What is wrong with you?
Why do you always have
to make me feel so
fucking worthless?
[Annabelle]
I'm not, Catherine, and...
can I just...
[Catherine scoffs]
can I just ask you
a simple question?
Fine. Put me down for 500.
Forget I even said anything.
Put me down for 500.
What do you think of this?
[Catherine] I don't like it.
[Annabelle] All I asked was,
What if, after everything,
it turned out that she just...
wasn't very good?
They never wanna entertain
that notion, do they?
Like, God forbid you're not
actually talented at something.
Not all of us get
to do our dream job.
Like, at some point,
you have to grow up
and get on with life.
Right?
That's not even her dream job.
At 15, she wanted
to be a dancer.
[Brett chuckles]
Well, I can lend her some
equipment if she wants.
Really?
Yeah. I mean, we got lights.
We got some logs,
sandbags, so whatever she needs.
Yeah.
That would be amazing.
That would go a long way to
making her actually like you.
Well, it's kind of why
I brought that up, so...
What if someone sees us?
God. I wish I could just
be with you in public,
you know?
I wish I could be free
of all responsibilities
and...
I could just be with
you in front of everyone.
Do you think they're
all as happy as they say?
Is anybody as happy as they say?
[Machine rumbling,
workers hammering nearby]
Are we?
Let's go.
[Aircraft roaring]
[Children chattering
indistinctly]
[Richard] It's all on
the face, though. Uh-oh.
Guess who's here?
- Oh, hey!
Sorry. I didn't realize
how late it got.
Hey. But you know what...
Hey! Hi! You guys got ice cream?
Yeah.
We didn't know what flavor
you wanted, so we just...
We winged it with
some chocolate chip.
Yum. May I have some? Hmm?
Mmm. Mmm!
Thank you.
[Richard] How is Amber?
Oh, she's fine. You know,
now that Nick's
broken up with her,
she's in love with him again.
[Richard] That's how it goes.
[Birds chirping]
Where'd you go?
[Richard] Well, just
down at the market.
We got some cones,
we got a little scoop.
We're gonna have our own
little ice cream shop.
[Parents laugh]
Hey. You got it all over you.
Here.
[Match ignites]
[Baby crying]
Guys?
[Turns on faucet]
[Shuts off faucet]
[Telephone ringing]
[Siren blaring]
[Woman] There was
a fault with that
particular make of airbag.
Metal shrapnel shot out when
it accidentally deployed,
killing your husband.
We believe that's what
caused him to crash.
Did Caleb suffer?
[Woman] No.
We think it would
have been instant.
[Sirens in distance]
[Annabelle] I've decided
I'm not having a funeral.
Funerals are for the ones left
behind, and I don't want one.
From now on, as far
as I'm concerned,
they never existed.
[Richard] Started working
on a new piece yesterday.
It started coming
out of me, you know.
And I haven't felt
that way in a long time.
I'm really excited
about this one.
[Door opens]
[Gallery owner]
Sorry about that.
[Door closes]
So, where were we?
I understand that you have
some of Richard's paintings
from his feature in New York.
[Gallery owner] Yes, I think
we have three paintings left.
Sell them.
I don't want them.
This is what I have at home.
I don't want any of it.
Annabelle, I don't
think I can sell these
on such short notice...
Oh, you can keep the money.
I don't care about any of that.
Can you send a truck
around this weekend, please?
I'll leave the
studio doors open.
Just... come in and
take whatever you want.
If I come back and there's still
stuff there, I'm destroying it.
Are you sure you don't want
any of Richard's work?
Everything's got to go.
[No audible dialogue]
[Clock ticking]
[Annabelle] Hi.
I want you to come over.
Mm-hmm.
Come over.
Now.
[Soundtrack music stops]
[Panting]
What?
Hey.
- I...
- Hey.
Hey, it's OK.
You OK?
Baby...
I don't want to do this anymore.
What?
I don't want to do
this anymore with you.
OK.
I get it. I understand.
[Annabelle sighs]
We can just stay here.
Can you just stop talking?
Can you just stop
fucking talking to me?
OK.
I don't want you to be here.
Get out.
I don't want you to touch me.
I hear you...
I don't want you to
talk to me anymore.
I want you to get out
of my house, OK?
OK.
I'm going.
I'm leaving.
[Door closes]
[No audible dialogue]
[Sobs]
[Exhales and inhales]
[Exhales deeply]
[Telephone ringing]
[Woman] Annabelle?
Hi.
How are you?
Hi, Mia.
I don't really feel like
talking if that's OK.
[Mia] Of course, of course.
I'm sorry.
[Mia] I didn't think you
were coming in this week,
so I canceled everything for...
I didn't want to sit at home.
Yeah, of course.
Thank you, Mia.
[Thunder]
[Man] Hey, so I
was thinking about
making a run, but, uh...
[Woman] That would be awesome.
Uh, I could use some coffee.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
[Annabelle] What's your name?
Uh, I'm Darren. [Chuckles]
[Annabelle] You're
the new intern?
Yeah. Yeah. I've been here
about two weeks now.
I, uh, I used to work
upstairs for Mr. Riley.
Can you close the door, Darren?
[Darren] Close the door?
Uh, yeah.
Hey.
- Do you wanna...
- I just, um...
Uh... yeah?
I really want you
to fuck me, Darren.
Can you do that?
Um, really... really?
Yeah? Fuck you?
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
[Panting]
Harder.
[Darren] OK. Yeah.
[Panting]
[Grunts]
Can you pull my hair?
No, no. Pull my hair.
Huh?
Pull my hair.
OK.
[Panting]
Harder.
[Darren panting]
[Crying]
[Woman] Catherine,
thank you for coming.
I've looked at your results,
and it's not great,
but it is by no means hopeless.
OK.
[Doctor] What you have is
something called endometriosis.
It's when the tissue
that normally lines
the inside of the uterus grows
in other parts of the body,
often on the uterus itself.
This is most likely the reason
you've been experiencing
extreme menstrual pain
as well as why you haven't
been able to get pregnant.
I must tell you that
30% of women suffering
from endometriosis end up
not being able
to conceive at all.
30%?
[Doctor] But that is
worst-case scenario.
And there are a lot of
things that we can do
to beat those odds.
Uh, I'd like you to begin by...
[Continues, indistinct]
[Deborah] Catherine!
Deborah.
Hi.
- Are you OK?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
I saw you, um... I
had lunch at Stella.
Oh, nice.
I just wanted to say hi.
Hi. I'm... I'm sorry.
Uh, how are you?
Are you casting
anything at the moment,
anything I might be right for?
Listen, you know, that I'm
in your corner, Catherine.
Sure.
I mean, that's
why I bring you in.
And I really appreciate it.
And if it were up to me...
Wait. Am I not
good or something?
No! God. No.
You're a fine actress, really.
It's just, right now,
people are looking for a girl
with some ethnicity.
But I will keep bringing you in.
You never know.
- Take care.
- Thanks.
[Knock on door]
Am I disturbing you?
No, of course not.
Come in.
I don't have much to offer you.
Whiskey?
Glass of water?
Cup of tea?
[Mason] Maybe tea.
[Annabelle] You do Tips?
Perfect.
[Mason] Thanks.
Did my sister send you?
She's worried.
Yeah. I haven't been
answering my phone.
[Mason] But I've been
meaning to pay you a visit.
[Annabelle] Why?
To see how I'm doing?
What's your diagnosis?
I'm drinking too much?
I've had a breakdown? I've
lost my grip on reality?
- I wouldn't say that.
- What would you say?
I wouldn't say anything.
I came here because I've
been holding on to this,
and I wasn't sure when the right
time would be to give it to you.
What is it?
[Mason] Richard asked me to
fix it and make a new copy.
It wasn't a hard job,
but I was lazy getting to it.
It's pretty.
You keep it.
You fixed it. It's yours.
[Catherine] What? She just
said she didn't want it?
- She didn't say anything.
- What kind of person does this?
This is not normal.
This is not how someone's
supposed to grieve.
- Catherine.
- No, no, no.
Don't give me any
of that bullshit.
Hey, there's no
normal way to grieve.
This is not how someone grieves.
You have no idea what it is
that she's going through.
No one wipes their family...
[Mason] How could you know?
Have you lost a child?
Completely from existence!
Nobody does that!
She didn't have a funeral.
She doesn't want a memorial.
She hasn't even decided
what to do with the ashes.
What kind of mother
doesn't have a funeral?
That is not normal.
[Carly] Maybe it's
too painful for her.
[Catherine] Too painful for her?
What about me?
What about Richard's family?
They had to have the
memorial without his body.
No photos of Caleb,
no mementos, nothing.
She thinks she was the only
one that loved that boy?
We all loved him.
[Sniffles]
I loved him.
She was the one that
barely loved him.
- Catherine.
- It's true.
She couldn't stand
having him around.
You know it's true.
And so you blamed Caleb
for being born...
for having shackled you
to a life of worry
and responsibility.
You always blamed
him for being born.
You couldn't stand that you
had to take care of
someone else for once
instead of someone
always looking after you.
Why did you even have him?
To sentence him to
a life of neglect?
Why didn't you just
abort him like you did
your twins in college?
Aborted and discharged...
flushed away,
never to be tiresome again...
never to weigh you down like
some anvil from a cloying lover
you didn't even care
about in the first place.
Why did you let him
go through the pain
of having an ungrateful mother?
Instead, you had to care
for an actual human being.
And all you could see...
was his crying, and his puling,
and his neediness...
for your affection that
you couldn't give him.
How can you breathe about love
when you are incapable of it?
I despise you and
your indifference...
your self-loathing.
I despise
that when I look at you,
you had everything
and I had nothing.
But it was still
not enough for you...
because nothing
is ever enough...
because it's all
just a game to you
and all you want is
more and more and more.
When is it ever gonna be enough?
I hate you.
I hate you.
I can't fucking stand you.
I hate you.
Say something!
Stop!
[Catherine pants]
What do you know about love?
What you call love
you learnt about in movies
and children's books.
Your vague notions are as
hollow as your work ethics.
To you, it's just
a weightless verb
to be bandied about
whenever the mood strikes you...
something rooted in your youth
you never quite outgrew...
an infantile understanding
of what it actually means
to love.
What have you ever
sacrificed for love?
[Scoffs]
What have you ever done?
Nothing.
Until you put it
all on the line,
until you fully appreciated
what's at stake
and still gone ahead
and been willing to
surrender everything
to immolate yourself because
you couldn't bear
to go another day
if you couldn't have it.
Until you've done that...
then you have no idea
of the very meaning
of the word...
because I have sacrificed.
My God, I've fucking done that.
[Metric] All the gold
And the guns in the world
Couldn't get you off
All the gold
And the guns and the girls
Couldn't get you off
All the boys
All the choices in the world
I remember when we
were gamblin' to win
Everybody else said,
"Better luck next time"
I don't wanna bend
like the bad girls bend
I just wanna be your friend
Is it ever gonna be enough?
Is it ever gonna be enough?
[Snorting]
[Moaning]
[Panting]
Do you like that?
I want you to do
something to me.
What?
[Snorts, toilet flushes]
I want you to hit me.
You want me to hit you?
[Chuckles nervously]
In the face?
[Annabelle] Yeah.
Come on.
You can do better than that.
I'm not really...
Come on. Just hit me.
Come on.
Oh, my God.
I want a proper hit in the face.
I'm not really into this.
It's all right, OK?
Just... just hit me.
It'll be fun.
Go on.
Just fucking hit me.
[Moans]
That was good.
Hit me like that again.
Uhh.
That's good. Yeah.
Do it like that, OK?
[Woman] I... I don't know.
[Annabelle] Please.
Just hit me again.
Please. Please. Just...
I'll do all the blow
that you want.
We'll take it back to yours,
and I'll go down on you
and I'll lick your ass,
and you can do whatever
you want to me, whatever.
But please just fucking
hit me in the face.
[Metric] Ooh
[Moaning]
[Metric] Ooh
More and more, more and more
More and more
More and more
and more and more
More and more
More and more
and more and more
More and more, more and more
More and more
More and more
and more and more
More and more
More and more and more
Is it ever gonna be enough?
More and more, more and more
More and more
Is it ever gonna
be enough...
More and more, more and more
More and more and more...
Is it ever gonna be enough?
[Collapsing Scenery]
My desire turns slowly
To a prayer for this land
Your theology crumbles
For it's God we appease
You know you can't stumble
When you're down
on your knees
Your law and your justice
Are ordained in your mind
[Car horn honks]
Is a law more refined
[Car horn honks]
[Shuts off engine]
[Annabelle] What
are you doing here?
Jesus Christ. What's the matter?
- I'm fine.
- What happened?
Why are you at my house?
No, you're not fine.
What is that?
Don't... touch me.
I just had a long night, please.
- Who did this?
- Why are you here?
Who did that? Who did that?
I did it. I did it
to myself, all right?
I don't want you to
come around here anymore.
You just can't show
up on my doorstep.
- I'm not just showing up.
I'm... - I could've had family
here.
- I'm worried about you.
- You're worried about me?
- Yes.
- I'm fine.
You don't return my calls,
you don't return my texts.
I'm going through something
a little bit bigger here.
- I understand that.
- You don't understand shit.
And you don't have to go
through this by yourself.
I don't wanna go
through this with you.
I don't want you
to be here for me.
Don't you understand that?
I just wanna be left alone.
I can be.
You have no idea who I am.
You had a portion of me,
a tiny, tiny portion.
I don't believe that. No.
I didn't have a portion, OK?
You think that
you know who I am...
- I know...
- think that
you really understand me?
Why are you doing this to me?
God. How dare you
make this about you,
you fucking prick?
- Take this.
- God! Fine.
Please go.
[Thunder]
[Rain pattering]
[Doorbell rings]
[Doorbell rings twice]
May I come in?
[Catherine] Of course.
You moved the table.
Yeah.
I'm making some changes.
Do you want some tea?
[Annabelle] Tea would be nice.
How's the film going?
[Catherine] We decided
to take a bit of a break.
We might get back
to it next month.
Do you want sugar?
[Annabelle] Thank you.
I was wondering if Mason
kept ahold of that photo
that Richard gave him...
black and white one.
Does he still have a copy of it?
[Catherine] I thought you
didn't want any mementos.
Now I wouldn't mind having one.
[Spoon stirring]
[Annabelle] If he
does have one, I...
I'd really love a copy.
I mean, you can
keep the original.
Why would I want that?
You wouldn't.
I don't know if
we still have it.
There's a lot of clutter
and stuff everywhere.
We've been making some changes,
packing things.
[Thunder]
[Catherine] I heard
you left your job.
Thinking a little time off
might do me some good.
I think I was making
everyone uncomfortable.
[Catherine] What about Brett?
That's over.
[Catherine] Did he do that?
No. God, no.
It was... me.
It was silly.
It looks painful.
Wasn't as painful as
when you told me off.
Told you off?
[Annabelle] When you came over
and said all those things
about love...
about wasting love, about...
how I wasn't worthy of it all.
You were right.
What are you talking about?
[Annabelle] When you slapped me.
When I slapped you?
The hell are you talking about?
I never slapped you.
You didn't...
come over and lose
your temper at me?
No!
Why would you say such a thing?
Let me go see if I can
find this photo for you.
[Thunder]
Here.
I found it.
Thanks, I'll give this
back to you, and...
I'm sorry.
- For what?
- For everything.
You didn't deserve any of this.
[Catherine scoffs]
That's so like you, isn't it?
Talking about deserve,
pretending to be
a fucking martyr.
What does deserve have
to do with any of this?
You're right.
For God's sake.
Thank you for coming.
Yeah, I wasn't sure
that I was going to.
Um, I don't really understand
the meaning of this.
Um, I'm not sure
there is anything
to understand yet.
I Googled you
after you sent the letter.
Your husband was a painter?
[Annabelle] Yeah.
I do some art.
[Annabelle] What kind?
Painting.
Acrylics, mainly.
That's your son?
I accidentally folded it
in my bag. I'm sorry.
He died in a car accident
when an airbag
deployed accidentally.
Metal fragments, which
have been building up,
ruptured my husband's lungs,
which caused them to crash.
[Woman] I'm so sorry.
It was my fault.
How is it your fault?
[Annabelle] They'd had
a nationwide recall.
And...
I was distracted and...
I never brought the car in.
And you think your boy
looks like Morgan?
[Annabelle] Don't you
see the resemblance?
Yeah, from the photo.
Sorry.
I don't really know...
what it is that...
that you want.
Sorry. I... I mean...
nothing.
It's... it's nothing. I...
It's weird, isn't it?
I'm sorry.
I guess I just wanted
to talk to you.
What was his name?
[Annabelle] My son?
Caleb.
[Woman] Caleb.
It's lovely.
Richard named him.
Richard's father
was called Caleb.
Yeah, my sister's
name was Morgan.
She passed away when I
was 12 from leukemia,
and I always said that I'd
name my first child after her,
boy or girl.
I just didn't know
it would be so soon.
How old are you?
I'm 22.
- Wow!
- Yeah.
- So young.
- Yup.
Yeah, I didn't...
I didn't know his dad.
It was just a...
vacation in Italy.
My friend and I
were backpacking.
We met these, um...
we met these two French guys
at a restaurant and...
one of them...
one of them had frosted tips.
I really... I did not like him.
I didn't...
I really liked his
friend, you know.
He was kind of like tan,
brown, Adonis, French,
you know, very classic.
But, uh, but my friend,
knowing that I liked him,
decided that she wanted
to seduce him as usual.
She... she didn't even
want to be there.
She only wanted to go
some nightclub,
but I'm left with...
fucking frosted tips.
[Annabelle laughing]
He's like, "You want to go
take a walk on the beach?"
I'm like, "Fuck, OK."
So... so wasted,
and he pulls out this
huge bag of cocaine.
And, uh...
ended up riding
him on a deck chair...
on the beach.
And after... uh, yeah,
after it ended, I tried
to smoke a cigarette
and just ended up
throwing up all over the place.
It was so awful. He had to pick
me up off the beach pretty much.
I just remember getting
back to the hostel,
and I'm, like, crying...
uncontrollably,
just sobbing, sobbing.
I was so embarrassed
and ashamed and...
felt sick.
I just felt fucking dirty.
And... then I got home
and found out I was pregnant...
and almost...
almost got rid of it.
I was this close, but I kept...
I just kept thinking
about my sister.
And, uh...
had Morgan.
And, fuck, I loved...
[Annabelle] What?
I don't know. Partying.
I loved partying and being young
and getting drunk
and doing drugs,
just having fun.
But you adapt.
I adapted, you know,
and if I could take back
the last four years, I wouldn't.
I wouldn't at all.
I mean, some days,
these fucking kids
can be a pain in
the fucking ass but...
I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
[Annabelle] No.
[Woman] That was
really stupid of me.
No, no. It's... really, it's...
I like hearing you talk.
Yeah.
[Annabelle] I want you
to talk to me about it.
You want... you want me
to talk about Morgan?
No, I mean, not just...
I think...
I think I just want to try
and remember what
it felt like...
to love again.
[No audible dialogue]
[Music]
[Annabelle] He used to always
play those guessing games,
like guess who I am.
Spider-Man? No.
Superman? No.
Iron Man? No.
Michael Jackson?
Bart Simpson? On and on and on.
And then you guess,
and then you have to
start all over again.
Yeah, right, well, Morgan,
yeah, Morgan does that,
but not so much
the guessing games.
He just has, like, he
has all these characters
that he plays,
and he changes them
every five minutes.
I mean, he needs
a lot of attention.
This is me.
Uh, I should probably go
pick up Morgan from my mom's.
I don't know who I feel more
sorry for in that situation.
You know what it's like.
Yeah, I do.
Um, this was good.
This was really,
really good, actually.
Yeah. It was, wasn't it?
Yeah.
I'm glad I didn't chicken out.
Me, too.
All right, see you.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Bye.
Well, it was nice to meet you.
[Annabelle] Thank you.
Hey, maybe we could do it again?
Yeah.
Yeah, that sounds good.
OK. Get back safe.
[Annabelle] You, too.
[Door unlocks,
car alarm is disarmed]
[Phone ringing]
[Annabelle] Hello?
[Morgan's mom] Uh, hey.
It's... it's Brie.
[Annabelle] I know.
[Brie] Oh, cool.
I was just wondering if maybe...
maybe you wanted
to come meet Morgan.
I know it's weird and very...
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
I'd love to.
[Brie] That's great.
Um, well, he's...
he's having a birthday
party in a couple of weeks,
and you can definitely
come to that.
I mean, it's gonna
be me and the moms
and, uh,
you know, they're
all a little older.
They don't really
get along with me.
They think I'm just...
another one of
the kids, you know.
[Annabelle] I'll be there.
[Brie] Great.
Um, I'll send you the details.
[Annabelle] I'll
look forward to it.
[Brie] Me, too.
See you then, then.
I'll see you then, then.
- Bye.
- Bye.
I killed my son.
When they told me,
I felt nothing.
The longest time,
I started to wonder
if that would be my punishment,
that I would just never feel
or love anything ever again.
I'd wanted to be free
of them for so long,
and now I was...
free and in control
of my own destiny.
It's like a dream.
It was like this vivid dream
that I could see
unfolding before my eyes.
And suddenly I could see Caleb.
He was in the backseat
of the car laughing.
He was giggling and laughing,
and the twisted shrapnel
was just plasticine
that he was throwing
in the air, and he was...
he was laughing.
And I could reach back
and I could touch him
and I could make him happy
as only a mother can.
I could make him
smile and laugh, and...
and suddenly, he was floating
high above the car
and into my arms.
And I could feel him
against my breast.
And I could smell his skin,
and I could hold his precious
little hands in mine,
and I could hear him laughing.
And I knew I was gonna be OK.
[Wind blowing]
[Heart beating]
[Annabelle] I wake up,
and immediately I'm
excited to go into work.
It's ridiculous.
I get butterflies now
when I go into the office.
It's been like this
for 3 months.
I couldn't figure out why.
Maybe I didn't even
realize it at first.
You know, when you're
so happy all the time,
you don't even realize it
because it just feels normal?
What's that like, being happy
as your normal state of mind?
How do you put a label on that?
One day I'm in the
car in a traffic jam
and I'm listening to KCRW
and it hits me.
I'm excited to go and do PR.
I've never been excited to
go and do PR ever in my life
and yet there I was,
delirious.
That's when my chest
hurt for the first time.
It always starts
in a parking lot...
gradually at first.
By the time I get
to the elevators,
I can barely breathe.
Every morning,
I sit at breakfast,
and I cannot wait to
get up from the table
and get into my car and
hit the rush-hour commute
and come to my office
and sit at my desk
and just see his name
up there on iChat,
just knowing that
I can message him
throughout the day
about anything
or nothing, or...
everything.
Sometimes we go for lunch
in the food court. Not always.
Like two, 3 times a week...
which is fucking great.
You know, he texts me at 9:30,
and we ended up texting
for like 3 hours...
3 hours nonstop, just talking.
Everything's so easy with him.
It's just so free and easy.
And I realize
this is why I've been
so excited the last weeks,
why I've been in such good mood.
It's not the job.
Of course it's not
the fucking job.
It's... him...
this man, this wonderful man.
And suddenly, he's
all I can think about
all day, every day.
I can't go 10 minutes
without thinking about him.
[Indistinct chatter]
You are the first person
I've told about this.
Um, you're the only person
I've told about this,
and it's taken me 3 months.
Does he know about
Richard and Caleb?
[Annabelle] Of course.
[Catherine] And
he's fine with that?
Well, he's single.
What's he got to lose?
I mean, for all I know,
it's a turn on for him
how completely unavailable I am.
And yet you still
meet him for drinks?
Do you think I'm
a terrible person?
[Caleb coughing]
[Annabelle] Is he OK?
He just started coughing.
[Annabelle] What?
When did that start?
I don't know. I... but
it could be last night.
Why didn't you tell me?
I... I... I thought I did.
But go on, go to sleep.
It's fine.
[Caleb] Daddy?
[Richard] I promise.
Stay right there.
You need to go back to sleep.
[Brett] Battery dead?
[Annabelle] Uh, yeah,
it is, actually.
I have, uh, some
jumper cables in my car.
I can pop the hood up
and jump it.
You know what I mean.
[Chuckles]
[Brett] Do you wanna go
get a drink with me?
I know a great spot
down the street.
They got a happy hour that
starts in, like, 15 minutes.
Considering now my
schedule is completely free
because I missed my appointment.
[Exhales sharply]
Yeah. Uh, OK. Sure.
[Annabelle moaning]
[Groans]
How the fuck did I get so lucky?
How do you only get better
and better and younger
and totally even sexier?
Oh, my God.
What do you say
we have another kid?
May get lucky and have a girl?
What?
You know,
so Caleb can have
a little sister.
You're kidding?
No.
Honey, I can't have
another kid right now.
We don't have to
have one right now,
but maybe, like, 9 or 10 months?
I'm serious.
[Chuckles]
What? So am I.
Honey, I don't want
another baby right now.
I think it would be good
for him to have a sibling.
What... why not now?
Because...
[Sighs] maybe later,
in a few years.
Few years?
Come on. He's almost 4.
Come on.
Can we talk about this tomorrow?
I'm tired.
We can talk about it in 4 years
because obviously, you don't
want to have another kid.
Ridiculous.
Why don't you want
to have a kid?
I do.
Just...
not now.
[Annabelle] Richard wants
us to have another baby.
He thinks it would
be good for Caleb.
And that is all I need
in my life right now.
What the fuck am I doing?
What if he ever found out?
[Catherine] I thought you
were cooling things off.
[Annabelle] I am.
I was. I will. I will.
I will. I will. I will.
[Catherine] It ain't worth
possibly ruining Caleb's life.
[Annabelle] Ruining
Caleb's life?
I think I'm...
falling in love with him.
You are not falling
in love with him.
You're horny and you're
excited because it's fresh.
No, that's not true.
That's not fair.
Fair? On Caleb?
Caleb is 3 and
doesn't know shit.
[Catherine] He's about to be
4. And you don't know that.
Kids are a lot smarter than
you give them credit for.
[Annabelle] Oh,
thanks, Catherine.
When I need a lesson
on what children are like,
I'll be sure to ask you.
[Catherine] I was thinking
for Caleb's birthday party,
we could do a Mad
Hatter's tea party.
Invite all our friends
with kids his age.
Maybe get a pony
for them to ride.
[Annabelle] A pony?
Or a magician, then,
one that can make
animal balloons.
Kids love that sort of thing.
Mason suggested
getting a bouncy castle.
Let's not spoil him.
[Catherine] It's
not spoiling him.
It's his birthday.
It'll be fun.
I don't think so.
Oh, come on.
Mason said if we wanted to...
I said no.
Stop trying to be
a mother to my child.
I'm not trying to be
the mother to your child.
I'm just trying to
do something nice.
Sorry.
[Annabelle] Do you know
I recall almost nothing
about Caleb's birth?
Only that it was very painful.
Painful and very long...
even with all those drugs.
Such agony.
I don't even remember holding
him till the next day.
And then I remember
thinking that I have to be
responsible for this.
I don't think I loved him yet.
I didn't love him.
How could I love him?
I didn't know him.
All those mothers who
claim to fall in love
with their children the
minute they're handed them.
[Chuckles]
It's such bullshit.
Hey, guys, we're home.
[Chuckles]
What's up?
You wanna go say hi
to Aunt Catherine?
See if she's got
a treat for you?
[Laughs]
Come here.
I made your favorite cookies.
You want one?
[Caleb] Yes.
Yes? Yum, yum, yummy.
Yummy cookies.
Yummy, yummy cookies.
[Chuckles] Mmm.
Is that good?
Do you like it?
[Caleb] Yeah.
[Catherine] Delicious?
As good as my last ones?
Better?
[Caleb] Yeah.
[Catherine gasps]
[Richard chuckles,
Catherine kisses]
Did you have a good day today?
[Richard] I'm gonna go inside.
See you guys in a little bit.
[Catherine] Yeah.
[Indistinct chatter]
[Sighs] I'm just trying
to be completely abstract.
Nothing figurative.
Usually they're figurative.
Yeah. I like this new period.
I wouldn't exactly
call it a period.
Have you seen my new stuff?
Stuff on Instagram?
[Richard] Yeah.
[Mason] Yeah.
[Laughter]
It's freezing.
[No audible dialogue]
[Woman laughs]
Shit.
[Applauding and cheering]
[Catherine] I'll go get
a broom. Guys, watch out.
There's broken glass.
[Richard] Hey,
guys, don't, uh...
Put your shoes on.
[Indistinct chatter]
[Woman] I know. It was
just a small nugget.
[Indistinct conversations]
[Airplane engine roaring]
[1920s jazz music playing]
I'm not stalking you, I swear.
It's just a coincidence.
I didn't think you were.
You look great.
I love the shirt.
I didn't know you knew Mickey.
Doesn't everybody?
If Catherine sees us here, she's
gonna think we set this up.
When can I see you again?
- I need to see you again. - I
don't think it's appropriate.
Don't say that. All
right? Don't say that.
Don't tell me it's
not appropriate, baby.
When I close my eyes,
I can still taste you.
God, stop.
I love the way you taste.
Stop it. Stop it.
I wanna taste your
wet cunt on my...
Oh, my God.
[Panting]
[Moans softly]
I touch Richard and
I feign affection.
It's got so I barely
notice it anymore.
He can manufacture just
the right performance
to keep the deception alive.
The gentle caresses,
sweet kiss and loving glances,
tender gropes...
the after-dinner blowjob
to forego another night
of sloppy penetration...
the cuddling in bed.
Just going through the motions.
He's a sweet man...
and decent.
And he's a good father.
And I feel no guilt whatsoever.
When I'm with Brett...
I don't feel
completely in control.
I feel...
[Chuckles]
I feel like a teenage girl
having an affair
with an old man.
That's... that's rare for me.
I'm not saying that's
what turns me on
because it isn't.
God, but I like
not being in control.
With Richard, I'm
always in control.
I always have been.
There's nothing unpredictable
about Richard, nothing.
With Brett, I never know
what's gonna happen next...
by which I mean I never
know what I'm gonna do next.
[Will Hanson] But you
don't feel anything
That I think...
By which I mean I never
know what I'm gonna do next.
[Singer] At all
[Woman screams]
[Birds chirping]
Hey, look what I found.
Mm.
Remember when Lily took that?
Oh, this feels so
long ago already.
[Richard] Well, I
was thinking of, uh,
getting Mason
a scanner or something,
see if he could get
that crease out.
Hmm?
Well...
Hmm, bacon's so good.
Mmm.
Well...
I started working on
a new piece the other day.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
I'm really excited about it.
I mean, it just started
coming out of me.
I haven't had that, like,
passion in a while.
I think it's gonna
be something good.
Good.
I'm glad.
Can't wait to see it.
[Caleb] Daddy.
Hmm.
Work calls.
[Caleb] Daddy.
[Richard] All right,
see you in a little.
[Annabelle] I love your skin...
your smile.
I love the taste of your lips...
[Kiss]
your tongue...
Oh, I love those eyes...
when they look at me.
I love it when your
eyebrows wrinkle together
when you're staring at me.
[Giggles]
And I love your cock...
how you feel in my
mouth when you throb.
Mm, I love you inside me.
[Kiss]
I love it how you look at me...
like you've never seen
a naked girl before.
Please never leave me.
Promise me you'll
never leave me.
[Kiss]
I'd do anything to keep you.
All I want is you.
I'd leave them if you ask me to.
I would.
[Kiss]
I didn't realize
it, but I... I would.
Don't say that.
What do you mean?
Don't say that.
But I would.
I would.
I'm going on a date on Thursday.
[Chuckles]
A date? Really?
Yeah, that girl Samantha
from Mickey's party...
the one with the
glass in her foot.
She asked me to go see
"The Long Goodbye"
at the new Bev, and I said yes.
What are you talking about?
I don't think it's a big deal.
[Annabelle exhales]
What are you... what
are you talking about?
[Brett] It's just a movie.
- Well...
- Are you upset?
[Annabelle] I don't really
understand what you're saying.
When...
Why are you going on
a date with someone?
[Brett] I didn't
wanna lie to you.
[Annabelle] I... Have you...
have you been
seeing someone else
all the time? Have you...
[Brett] Absolutely not.
[Annabelle]
Why... why are you going
on a date with her?
Why are you going on
a date with her?
[Brett] She asked me
to go see a movie.
I said, yeah. I didn't think
it was a big fucking deal.
Why are you going to
a movie with anyone else?!
Oh, God, I'm so embarrassed.
Annabelle, you have a husband.
What are you saying
this to me for?
[Brett] You are
marr... you're...
Stop talking! I
can't listen to you.
Why are you so upset right now?
You're married.
I know!
[Brett] You have a husband.
[Annabelle] You knew it!
You met me when I was married.
I fucking laid there and said
that I would leave them for you.
Do you not want me?
Do you not want me at all?
You just let me pour my heart...
You... Oh, my God.
[Moans]
and you fucking listened
and you took it all.
Did it make you
feel really good?
Did it make you...
[Moans]
How could you do this to me?
I am so much
better than you are.
You're a piece of shit.
You're a little speck
of dirt on my life.
Do they get... get with you?
[Chuckles]
They must be having
a fucking laugh.
I hope that you get
on really well with her
and that you fuck her.
I hope it's so fucking good
and she gives you AIDS
and you both fucking die.
I can't believe that
you did this to me.
[Brett] I can't believe
you're jealous of me.
I can't believe
you're jealous of me...
I'm not fucking jealous of you!
[Brett] and you have a husband.
I fucking let you inside me!
I have a husband and a child,
and I let you fuck me!
And this is what I get!
I fucking hate you!
I can't fucking believe this.
[Door beeps, door slams]
[Annabelle sobbing]
[Muffled scream]
[Door opens, door beeps]
[Computer voice] Lock door.
[Annabelle] I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
I'm never like that, please.
I'm so sorry.
Don't you understand
the only reason I'm going
on that thing is I can't let you
just consume my entire life?
Why?
You know why.
No, I don't want him.
I don't want him.
I never wanted him.
I just want you.
I was never in love with him.
I was... I was in love with
the idea of being in love.
It was just a silly idea.
It was dreams.
I wanna share a life with you.
I wanna be with you
always, just me and you.
I wanna have a family with you.
I don't know if I'm ready
to look after a child.
That's OK. We can wait.
We can wait. We can wait.
We can wait until you're ready.
I was talking about Caleb.
OK.
I've been thinking a lot
about what happened
the other day,
about what's been happening.
Do you think chromosomes
could be so detailed,
they can make us react a
certain way to certain things?
Like twins separated at birth.
[Woman] Thank you, Catherine.
[Catherine] Oh.
That was perfect.
If it was perfect, does
that mean I've got the job?
OK.
Thank you.
[Man] Who have we got next?
Hmm, I think I
preferred the other one.
Yeah.
This one's kind of boring.
It's very boring.
Ours is not going to be boring.
[Catherine] Oh, hey, baby.
[Woman] Hi.
Oh, hey, Carly.
You're back early.
- What are you doing?
- Research.
- We're making a short.
- Oh, yeah?
[Catherine] Mm-hmm.
[Carly] Yeah, we've been
watching shorts all afternoon.
How was the audition?
[Carly] Bad.
Not great.
But, I mean, it was
a bad part, anyway.
That's why we're
making our own film
so we can put ourselves in it.
So get your checkbook out.
Here. Lie down.
I'm gonna give you
a Reiki massage.
-What's with the crystals?
[Carly] Yeah?
Um, they're fertility crystals.
They help with fertility.
It's been proven.
Right. And imagine a white line
going down the
bottom of your feet,
your toes.
It's all awaking your body.
[Carly] Imagine
a seed being planted
right beneath your belly button.
[Catherine] So, Carly and I
are thinking of making a film...
a short.
We're gonna make a short.
Because, you know, we're just
tired of waiting around
for someone to cast us,
and we just thought
we'd go ahead and do it
ourselves, you know?
[Annabelle]
And who's gonna make it?
Do you think these are nice?
- Are they too hipster?
- No, I don't like them.
We are. Ourselves.
We've written it, and...
[Annabelle] What,
do you know anything
about directing, though?
[Catherine] I know about acting,
and we wrote the parts for us,
so it's not like
we're gonna have to do
that much directing.
And we're gonna get
a really good DP,
like, a really good
one, you know?
Why do you have to
question everything I do?
- I'm not.
- You are.
I just... do you think
I'm an idiot or something
just 'cause I don't work in some
fucking boring 9:00 to 5:00?
[Annabelle] You know
that's not true.
[Catherine sighs]
[Catherine] I don't
know why I bother.
[Annabelle] God, Catherine,
that's so unfair.
I'm always helping you out.
Who helped pay for your new car
when you totaled your last one?
I didn't total it.
And when you wanted to do those,
what do call them,
pottery classes,
and when you wanted
to be a painter,
I set you up with
Richard's friends and...
Yeah, but it always
comes with a lecture.
It always comes with
some fucking little...
[Instrumental music playing]
So you and Carly
are making a short.
- OK.
- It's fine.
No.
Don't. come on.
Tell me. I wanna know.
We're making a short
to showcase our talent
because it's really hard
to get work right now,
so we thought why don't we
go out and do it ourselves?
So you've said.
Anyway, we thought
if we're gonna do it,
we should do it right, you know,
and get like a proper sound guy
and a DP and lights and stuff.
So we thought we'd go
out to all our friends
and families and see if
they want to be investors.
And however much
they invest and...
Haven't you thought
about GoFundMe?
We're doing that. We
just thought we'd ask
our close friends
and family first.
And what's the final goal?
-10,000.
[Annabelle clears throat]
I know it's a lot, but
we actually need 15,
but I think we can do it for 10.
Mason already pledged 500.
[Annabelle] Mm-hmm.
You know Richard hasn't
been selling much lately.
What if it doesn't work?
I mean, like, don't explode.
Uh, I'm just saying,
and this isn't
meant to offend you,
but if you keep missing
out on acting jobs,
maybe it's time to think
about doing something else.
Have you listened to
anything I've just said?
Yeah, I am, and I think
it's a really good idea,
but...
- Mm-hmm.
What if, you... you know,
you're... you're not
a... great actress?
At what point do
you start wondering
if you should have a new career?
You know, I was an actress, too,
and we did pretty well,
but at some point,
I just had to grow up.
You gave up because
you had Caleb.
[Annabelle] It's not like
you're gonna be a movie star.
What is wrong with you?
Why do you always have
to make me feel so
fucking worthless?
[Annabelle]
I'm not, Catherine, and...
can I just...
[Catherine scoffs]
can I just ask you
a simple question?
Fine. Put me down for 500.
Forget I even said anything.
Put me down for 500.
What do you think of this?
[Catherine] I don't like it.
[Annabelle] All I asked was,
What if, after everything,
it turned out that she just...
wasn't very good?
They never wanna entertain
that notion, do they?
Like, God forbid you're not
actually talented at something.
Not all of us get
to do our dream job.
Like, at some point,
you have to grow up
and get on with life.
Right?
That's not even her dream job.
At 15, she wanted
to be a dancer.
[Brett chuckles]
Well, I can lend her some
equipment if she wants.
Really?
Yeah. I mean, we got lights.
We got some logs,
sandbags, so whatever she needs.
Yeah.
That would be amazing.
That would go a long way to
making her actually like you.
Well, it's kind of why
I brought that up, so...
What if someone sees us?
God. I wish I could just
be with you in public,
you know?
I wish I could be free
of all responsibilities
and...
I could just be with
you in front of everyone.
Do you think they're
all as happy as they say?
Is anybody as happy as they say?
[Machine rumbling,
workers hammering nearby]
Are we?
Let's go.
[Aircraft roaring]
[Children chattering
indistinctly]
[Richard] It's all on
the face, though. Uh-oh.
Guess who's here?
- Oh, hey!
Sorry. I didn't realize
how late it got.
Hey. But you know what...
Hey! Hi! You guys got ice cream?
Yeah.
We didn't know what flavor
you wanted, so we just...
We winged it with
some chocolate chip.
Yum. May I have some? Hmm?
Mmm. Mmm!
Thank you.
[Richard] How is Amber?
Oh, she's fine. You know,
now that Nick's
broken up with her,
she's in love with him again.
[Richard] That's how it goes.
[Birds chirping]
Where'd you go?
[Richard] Well, just
down at the market.
We got some cones,
we got a little scoop.
We're gonna have our own
little ice cream shop.
[Parents laugh]
Hey. You got it all over you.
Here.
[Match ignites]
[Baby crying]
Guys?
[Turns on faucet]
[Shuts off faucet]
[Telephone ringing]
[Siren blaring]
[Woman] There was
a fault with that
particular make of airbag.
Metal shrapnel shot out when
it accidentally deployed,
killing your husband.
We believe that's what
caused him to crash.
Did Caleb suffer?
[Woman] No.
We think it would
have been instant.
[Sirens in distance]
[Annabelle] I've decided
I'm not having a funeral.
Funerals are for the ones left
behind, and I don't want one.
From now on, as far
as I'm concerned,
they never existed.
[Richard] Started working
on a new piece yesterday.
It started coming
out of me, you know.
And I haven't felt
that way in a long time.
I'm really excited
about this one.
[Door opens]
[Gallery owner]
Sorry about that.
[Door closes]
So, where were we?
I understand that you have
some of Richard's paintings
from his feature in New York.
[Gallery owner] Yes, I think
we have three paintings left.
Sell them.
I don't want them.
This is what I have at home.
I don't want any of it.
Annabelle, I don't
think I can sell these
on such short notice...
Oh, you can keep the money.
I don't care about any of that.
Can you send a truck
around this weekend, please?
I'll leave the
studio doors open.
Just... come in and
take whatever you want.
If I come back and there's still
stuff there, I'm destroying it.
Are you sure you don't want
any of Richard's work?
Everything's got to go.
[No audible dialogue]
[Clock ticking]
[Annabelle] Hi.
I want you to come over.
Mm-hmm.
Come over.
Now.
[Soundtrack music stops]
[Panting]
What?
Hey.
- I...
- Hey.
Hey, it's OK.
You OK?
Baby...
I don't want to do this anymore.
What?
I don't want to do
this anymore with you.
OK.
I get it. I understand.
[Annabelle sighs]
We can just stay here.
Can you just stop talking?
Can you just stop
fucking talking to me?
OK.
I don't want you to be here.
Get out.
I don't want you to touch me.
I hear you...
I don't want you to
talk to me anymore.
I want you to get out
of my house, OK?
OK.
I'm going.
I'm leaving.
[Door closes]
[No audible dialogue]
[Sobs]
[Exhales and inhales]
[Exhales deeply]
[Telephone ringing]
[Woman] Annabelle?
Hi.
How are you?
Hi, Mia.
I don't really feel like
talking if that's OK.
[Mia] Of course, of course.
I'm sorry.
[Mia] I didn't think you
were coming in this week,
so I canceled everything for...
I didn't want to sit at home.
Yeah, of course.
Thank you, Mia.
[Thunder]
[Man] Hey, so I
was thinking about
making a run, but, uh...
[Woman] That would be awesome.
Uh, I could use some coffee.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
[Annabelle] What's your name?
Uh, I'm Darren. [Chuckles]
[Annabelle] You're
the new intern?
Yeah. Yeah. I've been here
about two weeks now.
I, uh, I used to work
upstairs for Mr. Riley.
Can you close the door, Darren?
[Darren] Close the door?
Uh, yeah.
Hey.
- Do you wanna...
- I just, um...
Uh... yeah?
I really want you
to fuck me, Darren.
Can you do that?
Um, really... really?
Yeah? Fuck you?
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
[Panting]
Harder.
[Darren] OK. Yeah.
[Panting]
[Grunts]
Can you pull my hair?
No, no. Pull my hair.
Huh?
Pull my hair.
OK.
[Panting]
Harder.
[Darren panting]
[Crying]
[Woman] Catherine,
thank you for coming.
I've looked at your results,
and it's not great,
but it is by no means hopeless.
OK.
[Doctor] What you have is
something called endometriosis.
It's when the tissue
that normally lines
the inside of the uterus grows
in other parts of the body,
often on the uterus itself.
This is most likely the reason
you've been experiencing
extreme menstrual pain
as well as why you haven't
been able to get pregnant.
I must tell you that
30% of women suffering
from endometriosis end up
not being able
to conceive at all.
30%?
[Doctor] But that is
worst-case scenario.
And there are a lot of
things that we can do
to beat those odds.
Uh, I'd like you to begin by...
[Continues, indistinct]
[Deborah] Catherine!
Deborah.
Hi.
- Are you OK?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
I saw you, um... I
had lunch at Stella.
Oh, nice.
I just wanted to say hi.
Hi. I'm... I'm sorry.
Uh, how are you?
Are you casting
anything at the moment,
anything I might be right for?
Listen, you know, that I'm
in your corner, Catherine.
Sure.
I mean, that's
why I bring you in.
And I really appreciate it.
And if it were up to me...
Wait. Am I not
good or something?
No! God. No.
You're a fine actress, really.
It's just, right now,
people are looking for a girl
with some ethnicity.
But I will keep bringing you in.
You never know.
- Take care.
- Thanks.
[Knock on door]
Am I disturbing you?
No, of course not.
Come in.
I don't have much to offer you.
Whiskey?
Glass of water?
Cup of tea?
[Mason] Maybe tea.
[Annabelle] You do Tips?
Perfect.
[Mason] Thanks.
Did my sister send you?
She's worried.
Yeah. I haven't been
answering my phone.
[Mason] But I've been
meaning to pay you a visit.
[Annabelle] Why?
To see how I'm doing?
What's your diagnosis?
I'm drinking too much?
I've had a breakdown? I've
lost my grip on reality?
- I wouldn't say that.
- What would you say?
I wouldn't say anything.
I came here because I've
been holding on to this,
and I wasn't sure when the right
time would be to give it to you.
What is it?
[Mason] Richard asked me to
fix it and make a new copy.
It wasn't a hard job,
but I was lazy getting to it.
It's pretty.
You keep it.
You fixed it. It's yours.
[Catherine] What? She just
said she didn't want it?
- She didn't say anything.
- What kind of person does this?
This is not normal.
This is not how someone's
supposed to grieve.
- Catherine.
- No, no, no.
Don't give me any
of that bullshit.
Hey, there's no
normal way to grieve.
This is not how someone grieves.
You have no idea what it is
that she's going through.
No one wipes their family...
[Mason] How could you know?
Have you lost a child?
Completely from existence!
Nobody does that!
She didn't have a funeral.
She doesn't want a memorial.
She hasn't even decided
what to do with the ashes.
What kind of mother
doesn't have a funeral?
That is not normal.
[Carly] Maybe it's
too painful for her.
[Catherine] Too painful for her?
What about me?
What about Richard's family?
They had to have the
memorial without his body.
No photos of Caleb,
no mementos, nothing.
She thinks she was the only
one that loved that boy?
We all loved him.
[Sniffles]
I loved him.
She was the one that
barely loved him.
- Catherine.
- It's true.
She couldn't stand
having him around.
You know it's true.
And so you blamed Caleb
for being born...
for having shackled you
to a life of worry
and responsibility.
You always blamed
him for being born.
You couldn't stand that you
had to take care of
someone else for once
instead of someone
always looking after you.
Why did you even have him?
To sentence him to
a life of neglect?
Why didn't you just
abort him like you did
your twins in college?
Aborted and discharged...
flushed away,
never to be tiresome again...
never to weigh you down like
some anvil from a cloying lover
you didn't even care
about in the first place.
Why did you let him
go through the pain
of having an ungrateful mother?
Instead, you had to care
for an actual human being.
And all you could see...
was his crying, and his puling,
and his neediness...
for your affection that
you couldn't give him.
How can you breathe about love
when you are incapable of it?
I despise you and
your indifference...
your self-loathing.
I despise
that when I look at you,
you had everything
and I had nothing.
But it was still
not enough for you...
because nothing
is ever enough...
because it's all
just a game to you
and all you want is
more and more and more.
When is it ever gonna be enough?
I hate you.
I hate you.
I can't fucking stand you.
I hate you.
Say something!
Stop!
[Catherine pants]
What do you know about love?
What you call love
you learnt about in movies
and children's books.
Your vague notions are as
hollow as your work ethics.
To you, it's just
a weightless verb
to be bandied about
whenever the mood strikes you...
something rooted in your youth
you never quite outgrew...
an infantile understanding
of what it actually means
to love.
What have you ever
sacrificed for love?
[Scoffs]
What have you ever done?
Nothing.
Until you put it
all on the line,
until you fully appreciated
what's at stake
and still gone ahead
and been willing to
surrender everything
to immolate yourself because
you couldn't bear
to go another day
if you couldn't have it.
Until you've done that...
then you have no idea
of the very meaning
of the word...
because I have sacrificed.
My God, I've fucking done that.
[Metric] All the gold
And the guns in the world
Couldn't get you off
All the gold
And the guns and the girls
Couldn't get you off
All the boys
All the choices in the world
I remember when we
were gamblin' to win
Everybody else said,
"Better luck next time"
I don't wanna bend
like the bad girls bend
I just wanna be your friend
Is it ever gonna be enough?
Is it ever gonna be enough?
[Snorting]
[Moaning]
[Panting]
Do you like that?
I want you to do
something to me.
What?
[Snorts, toilet flushes]
I want you to hit me.
You want me to hit you?
[Chuckles nervously]
In the face?
[Annabelle] Yeah.
Come on.
You can do better than that.
I'm not really...
Come on. Just hit me.
Come on.
Oh, my God.
I want a proper hit in the face.
I'm not really into this.
It's all right, OK?
Just... just hit me.
It'll be fun.
Go on.
Just fucking hit me.
[Moans]
That was good.
Hit me like that again.
Uhh.
That's good. Yeah.
Do it like that, OK?
[Woman] I... I don't know.
[Annabelle] Please.
Just hit me again.
Please. Please. Just...
I'll do all the blow
that you want.
We'll take it back to yours,
and I'll go down on you
and I'll lick your ass,
and you can do whatever
you want to me, whatever.
But please just fucking
hit me in the face.
[Metric] Ooh
[Moaning]
[Metric] Ooh
More and more, more and more
More and more
More and more
and more and more
More and more
More and more
and more and more
More and more, more and more
More and more
More and more
and more and more
More and more
More and more and more
Is it ever gonna be enough?
More and more, more and more
More and more
Is it ever gonna
be enough...
More and more, more and more
More and more and more...
Is it ever gonna be enough?
[Collapsing Scenery]
My desire turns slowly
To a prayer for this land
Your theology crumbles
For it's God we appease
You know you can't stumble
When you're down
on your knees
Your law and your justice
Are ordained in your mind
[Car horn honks]
Is a law more refined
[Car horn honks]
[Shuts off engine]
[Annabelle] What
are you doing here?
Jesus Christ. What's the matter?
- I'm fine.
- What happened?
Why are you at my house?
No, you're not fine.
What is that?
Don't... touch me.
I just had a long night, please.
- Who did this?
- Why are you here?
Who did that? Who did that?
I did it. I did it
to myself, all right?
I don't want you to
come around here anymore.
You just can't show
up on my doorstep.
- I'm not just showing up.
I'm... - I could've had family
here.
- I'm worried about you.
- You're worried about me?
- Yes.
- I'm fine.
You don't return my calls,
you don't return my texts.
I'm going through something
a little bit bigger here.
- I understand that.
- You don't understand shit.
And you don't have to go
through this by yourself.
I don't wanna go
through this with you.
I don't want you
to be here for me.
Don't you understand that?
I just wanna be left alone.
I can be.
You have no idea who I am.
You had a portion of me,
a tiny, tiny portion.
I don't believe that. No.
I didn't have a portion, OK?
You think that
you know who I am...
- I know...
- think that
you really understand me?
Why are you doing this to me?
God. How dare you
make this about you,
you fucking prick?
- Take this.
- God! Fine.
Please go.
[Thunder]
[Rain pattering]
[Doorbell rings]
[Doorbell rings twice]
May I come in?
[Catherine] Of course.
You moved the table.
Yeah.
I'm making some changes.
Do you want some tea?
[Annabelle] Tea would be nice.
How's the film going?
[Catherine] We decided
to take a bit of a break.
We might get back
to it next month.
Do you want sugar?
[Annabelle] Thank you.
I was wondering if Mason
kept ahold of that photo
that Richard gave him...
black and white one.
Does he still have a copy of it?
[Catherine] I thought you
didn't want any mementos.
Now I wouldn't mind having one.
[Spoon stirring]
[Annabelle] If he
does have one, I...
I'd really love a copy.
I mean, you can
keep the original.
Why would I want that?
You wouldn't.
I don't know if
we still have it.
There's a lot of clutter
and stuff everywhere.
We've been making some changes,
packing things.
[Thunder]
[Catherine] I heard
you left your job.
Thinking a little time off
might do me some good.
I think I was making
everyone uncomfortable.
[Catherine] What about Brett?
That's over.
[Catherine] Did he do that?
No. God, no.
It was... me.
It was silly.
It looks painful.
Wasn't as painful as
when you told me off.
Told you off?
[Annabelle] When you came over
and said all those things
about love...
about wasting love, about...
how I wasn't worthy of it all.
You were right.
What are you talking about?
[Annabelle] When you slapped me.
When I slapped you?
The hell are you talking about?
I never slapped you.
You didn't...
come over and lose
your temper at me?
No!
Why would you say such a thing?
Let me go see if I can
find this photo for you.
[Thunder]
Here.
I found it.
Thanks, I'll give this
back to you, and...
I'm sorry.
- For what?
- For everything.
You didn't deserve any of this.
[Catherine scoffs]
That's so like you, isn't it?
Talking about deserve,
pretending to be
a fucking martyr.
What does deserve have
to do with any of this?
You're right.
For God's sake.
Thank you for coming.
Yeah, I wasn't sure
that I was going to.
Um, I don't really understand
the meaning of this.
Um, I'm not sure
there is anything
to understand yet.
I Googled you
after you sent the letter.
Your husband was a painter?
[Annabelle] Yeah.
I do some art.
[Annabelle] What kind?
Painting.
Acrylics, mainly.
That's your son?
I accidentally folded it
in my bag. I'm sorry.
He died in a car accident
when an airbag
deployed accidentally.
Metal fragments, which
have been building up,
ruptured my husband's lungs,
which caused them to crash.
[Woman] I'm so sorry.
It was my fault.
How is it your fault?
[Annabelle] They'd had
a nationwide recall.
And...
I was distracted and...
I never brought the car in.
And you think your boy
looks like Morgan?
[Annabelle] Don't you
see the resemblance?
Yeah, from the photo.
Sorry.
I don't really know...
what it is that...
that you want.
Sorry. I... I mean...
nothing.
It's... it's nothing. I...
It's weird, isn't it?
I'm sorry.
I guess I just wanted
to talk to you.
What was his name?
[Annabelle] My son?
Caleb.
[Woman] Caleb.
It's lovely.
Richard named him.
Richard's father
was called Caleb.
Yeah, my sister's
name was Morgan.
She passed away when I
was 12 from leukemia,
and I always said that I'd
name my first child after her,
boy or girl.
I just didn't know
it would be so soon.
How old are you?
I'm 22.
- Wow!
- Yeah.
- So young.
- Yup.
Yeah, I didn't...
I didn't know his dad.
It was just a...
vacation in Italy.
My friend and I
were backpacking.
We met these, um...
we met these two French guys
at a restaurant and...
one of them...
one of them had frosted tips.
I really... I did not like him.
I didn't...
I really liked his
friend, you know.
He was kind of like tan,
brown, Adonis, French,
you know, very classic.
But, uh, but my friend,
knowing that I liked him,
decided that she wanted
to seduce him as usual.
She... she didn't even
want to be there.
She only wanted to go
some nightclub,
but I'm left with...
fucking frosted tips.
[Annabelle laughing]
He's like, "You want to go
take a walk on the beach?"
I'm like, "Fuck, OK."
So... so wasted,
and he pulls out this
huge bag of cocaine.
And, uh...
ended up riding
him on a deck chair...
on the beach.
And after... uh, yeah,
after it ended, I tried
to smoke a cigarette
and just ended up
throwing up all over the place.
It was so awful. He had to pick
me up off the beach pretty much.
I just remember getting
back to the hostel,
and I'm, like, crying...
uncontrollably,
just sobbing, sobbing.
I was so embarrassed
and ashamed and...
felt sick.
I just felt fucking dirty.
And... then I got home
and found out I was pregnant...
and almost...
almost got rid of it.
I was this close, but I kept...
I just kept thinking
about my sister.
And, uh...
had Morgan.
And, fuck, I loved...
[Annabelle] What?
I don't know. Partying.
I loved partying and being young
and getting drunk
and doing drugs,
just having fun.
But you adapt.
I adapted, you know,
and if I could take back
the last four years, I wouldn't.
I wouldn't at all.
I mean, some days,
these fucking kids
can be a pain in
the fucking ass but...
I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
[Annabelle] No.
[Woman] That was
really stupid of me.
No, no. It's... really, it's...
I like hearing you talk.
Yeah.
[Annabelle] I want you
to talk to me about it.
You want... you want me
to talk about Morgan?
No, I mean, not just...
I think...
I think I just want to try
and remember what
it felt like...
to love again.
[No audible dialogue]
[Music]
[Annabelle] He used to always
play those guessing games,
like guess who I am.
Spider-Man? No.
Superman? No.
Iron Man? No.
Michael Jackson?
Bart Simpson? On and on and on.
And then you guess,
and then you have to
start all over again.
Yeah, right, well, Morgan,
yeah, Morgan does that,
but not so much
the guessing games.
He just has, like, he
has all these characters
that he plays,
and he changes them
every five minutes.
I mean, he needs
a lot of attention.
This is me.
Uh, I should probably go
pick up Morgan from my mom's.
I don't know who I feel more
sorry for in that situation.
You know what it's like.
Yeah, I do.
Um, this was good.
This was really,
really good, actually.
Yeah. It was, wasn't it?
Yeah.
I'm glad I didn't chicken out.
Me, too.
All right, see you.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Bye.
Well, it was nice to meet you.
[Annabelle] Thank you.
Hey, maybe we could do it again?
Yeah.
Yeah, that sounds good.
OK. Get back safe.
[Annabelle] You, too.
[Door unlocks,
car alarm is disarmed]
[Phone ringing]
[Annabelle] Hello?
[Morgan's mom] Uh, hey.
It's... it's Brie.
[Annabelle] I know.
[Brie] Oh, cool.
I was just wondering if maybe...
maybe you wanted
to come meet Morgan.
I know it's weird and very...
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
I'd love to.
[Brie] That's great.
Um, well, he's...
he's having a birthday
party in a couple of weeks,
and you can definitely
come to that.
I mean, it's gonna
be me and the moms
and, uh,
you know, they're
all a little older.
They don't really
get along with me.
They think I'm just...
another one of
the kids, you know.
[Annabelle] I'll be there.
[Brie] Great.
Um, I'll send you the details.
[Annabelle] I'll
look forward to it.
[Brie] Me, too.
See you then, then.
I'll see you then, then.
- Bye.
- Bye.
I killed my son.
When they told me,
I felt nothing.
The longest time,
I started to wonder
if that would be my punishment,
that I would just never feel
or love anything ever again.
I'd wanted to be free
of them for so long,
and now I was...
free and in control
of my own destiny.
It's like a dream.
It was like this vivid dream
that I could see
unfolding before my eyes.
And suddenly I could see Caleb.
He was in the backseat
of the car laughing.
He was giggling and laughing,
and the twisted shrapnel
was just plasticine
that he was throwing
in the air, and he was...
he was laughing.
And I could reach back
and I could touch him
and I could make him happy
as only a mother can.
I could make him
smile and laugh, and...
and suddenly, he was floating
high above the car
and into my arms.
And I could feel him
against my breast.
And I could smell his skin,
and I could hold his precious
little hands in mine,
and I could hear him laughing.
And I knew I was gonna be OK.