Firstness (2021) Movie Script
1
[tense eerie music]
I made a joke this morning
about the house burning down
and Liz got all mad
because she thinks I'm not
making any progress and
maybe I'm not, maybe I'm not.
So I go high speed to fuck it.
Yeah. Right. True.
[sighing]
[crickets chirping]
Uh-huh.
An arbitrary task. Yeah.
[crickets chirping]
That's helpful.
[rough industrial music]
- [water splashing]
- [Anne] It calms you quickly.
The cold water stimulates
the parasympathetic system,
- slowing everything down.
- [water splashing]
[Richard] Only cunts
walk alone.
[Anne] Good.
Good job, Richard, keep going.
Let's move on to P pacing.
- [Richard] Nobody cares
about you.
[Anne] Nice. Nice.
Exhaling all the way out.
[Richard] You act like a baby.
You think anybody
wants to date a baby?
[Anne] Very nice.
Five to seven cycles, please.
[Richard]
You think you're an artist?
You have no talent.
You're old.
Is anything
coming up for you, Mel?
No.
[Anne] Good.
Nice work.
- All right, everybody.
- [clapping]
Let's take a quick
five-minute bathroom break
and return here for process.
So I put the click link
in the chat and now I basically
have to go home after school
and think about what I've done.
Mm-hmm. Did you see my piece?
- What?
- My piece on the sidewalk?
No.
I think humans
are like dolphins.
We need a lot of water.
Like that's why it's
so dumb to live in the desert.
Everyone is going to die.
- [Tavi] Yeah.
- But I guess that's everywhere
except the ocean.
Yeah, even there,
but the armies' missiles
mess up the waves and the fish.
My dad probably wasn't
thinking about that
when he joined, you know.
Nobody thinks about the fish.
Like when I was in second
everyone was jealous
of me [indistinct]
And now she's girlfriend/
boyfriend with Jeremy Thompson
and I don't get it because,
like, he smells.
And I'm not a mean person.
Like I can say mean things
sometimes but I'm not mean.
I just don't even
sit next to him
I can smell that boy
from a mile away.
What?
Tavi, what are you doing?
[driver]
No standing on the bus.
- I get off here.
- [driver] Here?
This is in the middle
of the street.
[paper crackling]
- [Carol] Thank you.
- Here you go... You're welcome.
- And Keith...
- Thank you.
And ni... nice job
today, Richard.
I need to do
my target behaviors.
I'm stressed, I know it.
[Mel] I always feel like that.
- [Nickie] Yeah, me too.
- Do opposite action.
- [woman] I walk the track.
- Take it back.
The track? What track?
- [woman] By union.
- [Richard] I know exactly
what I want to eat
and what I want to drink.
[Nickie] Bells distract me.
I keep them next to my stove
so I don't touch it.
Chicken fingers and Armageddon.
[Mel]
Why don't you go to the movies?
- Man it's always good.
- I can't go to the movies.
I'll get popcorn
and end up at the bar.
Well, you could listen to music
and make a nice lunch
with apricots and...
- look at your worksheet.
- When I am alone,
that's when
it gets going, okay?
[Anne] It's just
a want, Richard.
Just a thought.
Wanna go to the store,
with me?
- I need to be alone. Bye.
- [Richard] Where are you going?
I need an HDMI cable.
- Yeah, where are you going?
- Have a great day, everybody.
Use your resources.
Rogers.
I don't want to...
- but I should.
- Can I come?
- Sure.
- Does anybody have a lighter?
I'll fuck
everything up if I don't.
[Mel]
I feel weird, I wanna leave.
Shotgun.
[eerie music]
[lively upbeat music]
[Richard]
So I owe them like four grand.
I have no way of
getting them that money.
So I really don't
wanna bump into them.
- Your license is suspended?
- Mm-hmm.
I stole a cello.
How did you carry it?
[Mel] I don't remember.
Do you play?
[Mel] No.
I just think
they're really beautiful.
Like a wood body...
with a wood neck.
[man] It says you were
a football team in New Mexico?
I was in
a football team here, yeah.
[man] No, this says you... you
were the entire football team,
the way that you wrote it.
- Oh, is it?
- Yeah.
[man] So is that true, you were
the entire football team?
Must be a typo.
[man] Just making sure.
It's more stylized
but it fits in your pocket.
It's not really HDMI though.
Not technically,
but it does the same thing.
You have your computer on you?
- [Keith] One sec.
- What's this do?
- [Keith] Hello.
- I don't know.
Yeah.
Dad, how are you?
Okay. What does that mean?
No, she's not with me.
What is this?
What is this about
you can't be out past 9:00?
What is that?
Well...
I'm currently on parole.
So 9:00 is my curfew.
Curfew from who?
The State.
Oh...
Yeah. All right. Well...
But my parole officer
recommends me.
I even listed her
as a reference.
- Sure. Yeah. Okay.
- It's kind of unusual.
Yeah, no.
I'll let you know.
Hello.
I saw you fall.
What was that?
I saw you fall...
on the sidewalk,
yesterday, over there.
Oh.
Yeah, I did.
- Tripped.
- I saw you.
You saw me?
Fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck.
Hey, this is Keith again,
Tavi's dad.
[Mel] Maybe they just
messed up attendance.
- Can you please...
- How old is she?
No. No, she's not here.
I don't know
if that's protocol.
- Now they're gonna call.
- [Keith] She's in California.
Why would they?
It's all fine, uh, it's
just better if you don't call.
What are you gonna do now?
Exactly. I'll tell her myself.
Okay, never mind.
Actually, never...
you pretend I didn't call.
Okay. Okay.
Are you guys coming?
[car engine revving]
[Julian]
What do you see?
[slow ethereal music]
A little bit of orange,
maybe my cousin.
[Julian and Tavi]
Boom, boom, boom.
[slow ethereal music]
[Julian] Yeah.
You already know.
[Keith] Not...
not even walking by?
No.
She's, uh,
in a yellow shirt, I think.
No one has been here
today except you.
Shit. Shit.
I don't know, isn't... that's...
that's a thing,
police protocol?
They notify everyone involved,
they don't think
that she's with her,
they don't know
if she's in California.
I don't think she ran away.
I don't know, if... if I knew
why would I be driving around?
In a house?
Yeah.
Me too.
That's weird,
we both live in houses.
Yeah, it is.
Mine is more like
a building than a house.
Like a department store?
Nah, it's just...
houses of families.
And I just live
with a couple of people
who don't really
acknowledge each other.
That sucks.
Yeah...
it sorta does.
Mine has three stories.
[Julian] It's big.
For ants.
Huge for ants.
I should get going.
Do you know where you are?
Kind of.
Here.
If you get lost...
- or...
- [paper rustling]
feel like getting lost...
call me.
[door thudding]
Tavi?
Tav?
[Tavi] Hi, Dad.
You've been here
the whole time.
[Tavi] Whole time?
Skipped school today?
[Tavi] Not really.
Ms. Cassiva called me.
[Tavi] I left early.
Why?
[Tavi] I had
other things to do.
- [object rolling]
- [clearing throat]
You have to go to school, Tav.
It's one of those things
we have to do
even if we don't want to.
Gonna make you
a better person someday.
Like, I gotta go
to school too every day.
I go to the thing,
it's basically school.
Me and you are doing
everything we can to be better.
And smarter, healthier.
If you don't wanna
go one day, just tell me,
we could do something fun.
Play hooky, I'm good at hooky.
I didn't know where you were.
[paper crackling]
Sorry.
Were you scared?
[pencil scribbling]
No, no, it's fine.
[Tavi] I'm sorry.
Don't be sorry.
Are you okay now?
Yeah, I'm so stupid.
I overreacted.
[pencil scribbling]
I'll make dinner.
Eggs?
Sure.
[pencil scribbling]
[man] Mm-hm. Yeah.
Yeah, what do they say?
To try and...
try and leave the cave
in better shape
- than when you left.
- [man 2] Right.
[man] Or when
you initially went there,
or I think it's try and
leave it in the same shape,
don't try and improve upon it.
[man 2] While I was down there,
I did let a little bit...
this is embarrassing to admit,
but I was scared as I said,
and I let, uh, just a little...
a little bit flow.
Just a small number one.
I mean and...
and I'm hoping none of it
touched the cave floor,
but, um...
[man] This was
a religious experience.
[man 2] Yeah, I mean,
truly, what do they say?
You can't have
a religious experience
without emitting a bit of...
like a teaspoon
full of urine, uh...
[cellphone vibrating]
[sighing]
Hey, Liz.
[crickets chirping]
Tav.
Hi, Mom.
I got it. Is it clay?
Oh.
He's... good.
He's cooking.
Scrambled eggs.
It's fine because
I have other things for lunch.
[slow ethereal music]
[Keith] Dinner!
Thank you to the food
for giving me nutrients,
keeping me alive.
Thank you to my kid
across the table from me here,
sitting with me.
Thank you to Liz
for checking in on us
even with her busy schedule,
and my friends in the program
who believe in me.
Thank you to my eyes
for letting me see.
And Liz for giving me
quality time with my child.
Thank you to the sun
for giving light and f...
to the moon
for giving darkness.
Thank you to my legs
for carrying me around.
Thank you to Julian
for falling on the sidewalk,
and thank you to my dad
for giving me food
every morning and every night.
Thank you to my heart
for becoming more open.
Thank you to Maxine,
who uses the right pronouns
and makes me laugh...
- Thank you to my ears...
- when people are mean to me.
...for bringing
all the new possibilities.
Thank you to
the sand which cushions me
when I look too closely.
Thank you.
[piano playing]
[crickets chirping]
[Tavi] Do graves get
watered by the rain?
What?
Do graves
get watered by the rain?
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Mm.
Just, uh, make sure
she gets to school today.
They, not she.
- All right, no problem.
- Make sure.
Thank You. All right.
[girl]
I can't believe you did that.
[girl 2]
I didn't say anything.
I don't get why people think
your dad's so hot.
He's out of shape.
Not really.
Maybe it's cause he's crazy,
people love crazy.
He's not that crazy anymore.
He should really
stop misgendering you.
Like, that's messed up.
Do you even correct him? No.
It shouldn't be on you,
so he should just know.
You should meet
my mom's friend.
She works for ambulance,
she wears this thing
over her ears, like the tape,
but, like,
it doesn't rip the skin.
Maybe you can borrow them.
Well, I really
liked that restaurant.
It's very cute.
I hated it.
I wanted chicken tenders.
- Honey.
- Mom.
Girls.
Richard, look out!
Hi, Nickie. I'm Anne.
I work for the police force.
I have some very
unfortunate news for you today.
Your family died in
a car crash tonight.
Oh.
And I know you don't have any
other relatives so, I'm sorry.
It seems like your life is
going to be very hard
from now on.
[Nickie] Okay.
Nobody will
be able to help you,
and it's honestly your fault.
You could have asked them
to eat with you at home,
but you were too busy
chatting with someone
on your cell phone,
weren't you?
What a shame.
Now they're all dead...
and you're all alone,
and nobody cares.
[clapping]
Let's take a quick
five-minute bathroom break
and return here for process.
Let's take five minutes.
Great job.
[door thudding]
Hey.
Uh... hello.
Hey.
Uh...
I was just wondering if
you guys are hiring right now?
Uh...
I don't think so.
Okay. Well, I have a lot of
experience with ceramics.
I use a lot of pottery.
I pay very,
very close attention to cups.
Um, well, I'm not the manager.
Well, I still would like
to get involved.
- Mm-hmm.
- So, okay.
[papers crackling]
Here's my resume
and references.
You can call
the number at the top.
[woman] Uh, yeah.
You can set it right there.
Yes. Set it right down, thanks.
Okay.
Thank you for your time.
Uh, appreciate it.
[woman] All right.
[hinges squeaking]
A social worker
would never really say that.
So, it's... it's dumb, but it
also really scares me because
like, Richard
and everybody are, like,
falling out of their seats,
I was a nine,
I don't know if
anybody could tell.
Same thing happened to me
the night before my exposure.
My SUDs went really
high thinking about it.
I always think that thinking
about it makes it happen.
- [Nickie] Yeah.
- But you get to see
and hear your thoughts
right out there in the open.
That's why
I found mine so helpful.
That's... that's why
I haven't done mine yet.
I can't even say it out loud.
About Liz?
Mm-hmm.
Now my SUDs are an eight.
I can feel my heart.
Yeah, that happens to me too.
I know that's the whole point.
It makes it absurd.
I did a relapse one,
and I didn't relapse.
- Does that count?
- Definitely.
And you said it made you feel
like you could handle it.
- Right, Richard?
- [Richard] Yeah.
- Doing it gave me the power.
- [Anne] Mm-hm.
[Richard] Like, I could see
what would happen.
I would freak out,
and I'd say a bunch
of dramatic shit,
but it would be fine.
I could handle it.
[papers crackling]
[phone beeping]
[lively upbeat music]
[machine beeping]
[breathing heavily]
[crickets chirping]
[Tavi] You know colosseums?
[Julian]
Like Rome or the Aztecs?
[Tavi] Yeah.
Have you ever made one?
[Julian] Um...
probably in some way,
an accidental
sort of colosseum.
[truck rumbling]
[man] We recognize
fully and honestly
how our behaviors have created
difficulties in our lives.
I've tried different methods,
I usually like
to keep them in the body.
[woman] Four essential
DBT skills to master.
Essential. Es-sen-tial.
[man 2] If you meet
a fencing master on the road,
you may give him your sword.
[woman 2] When you're manic,
you know, people show up,
like, you're going 90 in a 55,
searching for the library
in a fog of fug,
one ski ready for Everest,
one Rockaway Beach. It is...
[woman 3] Once I've decided,
that there won't be a perfect
souvenir for the United States.
[man 3] Don't pass
the disappointment mailbox,
merciless.
[cellphone ringing]
Hello.
[woman] Hi.
I don't have all my numbers.
Who's this?
[woman] Sorry. What?
I don't have all my numbers.
Who is this?
[woman] Oh, it's Mel.
- Mel.
- Mel?
[Mel] Yeah, from group.
Oh, uh, Mel. Hey.
Yeah, sorry, I can't really
hear so good
in my car speakers.
[Mel] Um...
- Are you there?
- Yeah. Yeah.
[Mel] Do you want to meet to do
our worksheet together?
Uh, yeah.
Yeah, I'm just cruising around,
you know, uh...
business, resource recovery,
trying to get in that zone.
Probably be good to have
another head, brain.
[Mel] Hey, you're in the car?
Yeah, I could, uh...
I could take you off speakers,
it's just one button
versus another.
[Mel] So could you, like,
pick me up?
[trolley clacking]
[Julian] A baby.
These aren't just for babies.
[trolley creaking]
My hamstrings are tight
from those jumps earlier.
I might have to hum
on them later.
- You ever done that?
- No.
The vibrations reorient
the muscle if it gets twisted.
What do you eat?
Food-wise?
Pale colors.
Well.
Rice?
Yeah.
[Julian] Cheese?
[Tavi] Not really.
[Julian] Hmm...
- Chicken?
- [Tavi] No.
- You vegetarian?
- Yeah.
Huh, me too.
Well, I mean,
when I can afford it.
Shall not kill...
shall not gossip.
I shalt not kill.
Would you kill an animal
if you had to?
I don't know.
Like... if I was starving?
Yeah, I like these... color.
I mean...
I could kill a fish.
I have killed a fish before.
[Tavi]
Nobody cares about fish.
But...
like, if I was starving?
You know, it's tricky.
[woman] You know that coconut
have the exact same
- number of calories.
- It's about the milk, Mom.
[woman] I'm just saying.
Isn't that your friend Tavi?
- Oh, my God, stop.
- Hi, Tavi.
Fancy seeing you here.
Alison's getting
her tonsils out tomorrow,
so I let her take off
and we're...
buying a ton of ice cream.
Huh...
sounds like a lot of fun.
I got mine out.
Get peppermint.
Peppermint soothes.
Also raw honey.
Just put some on
your lymph nodes, like this.
Does your dad know you're here?
[Tavi]
Does your dad know you're here?
Excuse me? No. But that's not
really the question here,
- is it?
- Mom, stop.
No. Don't tell me to stop,
Alison. I don't...
I don't know why Tavi's here
in the middle of the day
with a strange man, but I...
- Bye.
- I certainly...
Uh,
Don't tell me to stop, Alison,
she should be in school.
She's not a she, she's a they.
- You always get it wrong.
- What?
Tavi is not a she,
she's a they.
That's not what
we're talking about right now.
Oh, my God.
She is... your friend is here
in the middle of the day
with some strange man.
You have a backyard?
- Sort of.
- Can I see it?
Sure.
Here it is.
You dig that?
No.
Want a glass of water
or something?
No.
Thanks, I'm just...
this hole just reminds me
of another hole
that I totally forgot about.
Okay.
Tell me all about it inside.
[Julian]
Let's pledge allegiance...
to the sand...
which stands but lays...
and dance.
One...
Turn to a rock.
Turning rock.
Turn the rock,
turn the rock,
turn the rock, turn the rock,
turn the rock, turn the rock,
turn the rock, turn the rock,
turn the rock, turn the rock,
turn a rock, turn the rock,
turn the rock...
[mumbling indistinctly]
[panting]
Turn...
the...
lock.
[latch rattling]
Yes, it's weird when that...
that happens.
Those gaps when...
one thing reminds you
of another thing.
Yeah.
I try not to be superstitious
about them anymore.
Same.
What was the hole?
Uh, one I tripped in.
I was retarded.
I mean...
stupid.
Like, on psychedelics?
[Mel] No, I sprained my ankle.
Oh, yeah.
[Mel]
It's okay. I put tape on it.
Yeah, that's what I did
when I sprained my wrist.
Mm.
Took me like four months
to get these movements back.
[Mel chuckling]
Sorry, did I cut you off?
Um...
my last conversation
analysis...
I kept cutting my partner off.
A lot of guys do that.
[Keith] Yeah.
I didn't make
eye contact in mine.
Well, that's
big one for honesty, right?
[Mel] Yeah, apparently.
I've never
really done eye contact,
but I guess I've never
really been that honest either.
I don't know, whatever.
Oh, you're making
my eye contact now.
Yeah, thanks. I've been trying.
Every couple of seconds.
- [Keith] Yeah, feels natural.
- Thank you.
[footsteps plodding]
- It's in here?
- Right.
[chair squeaking]
[Keith] So we need
to arrive at a sequence.
- That's an [indistinct].
- Mm...
[tape crackling]
What's your password?
- [Keith] Doorlogs.
- "Door logs"?
- Like door logs?
- One word.
[keyboard clicking]
[slow gentle music]
[alarm ringing]
Shit, it's almost five.
Ah, I gotta start dinner.
Tavi is probably home.
Did you hear the door?
Tavi.
[Keith chuckling]
Oh.
Tav.
- Oh, you're home.
- [Tavi] Hi, dad.
- We added sand to the walls.
- Yeah.
I'm Keith, Tavi's dad.
Hi, I'm Julian.
It's like outside but inside.
- [Keith] We met before?
- [Julian] Um, I don't think so.
I saw Julian
fall on the sidewalk.
[Keith] Uh-huh.
Are you staying for dinner?
Ah, if you're offering.
Sure.
[Mel] What's up?
[Keith] Uh...
Uh, my daughter moved all this
furniture around.
I always rearrange my room.
[Keith] Yeah...
I set the table.
[Keith] Wow, that's so nice.
Yeah, I didn't... I don't know
if I did it the way
that you guys do it,
but I won't be offended
if you move
things around or anything.
[Keith] Wow. That's great.
Thank you.
Just need, um,
napkins and one extra seat.
[Mel] Your wife?
[man] You've got
a constitutional right
to receive
dental care in prison.
Hey, I like that.
Behind your ear?
- [man] Every prisoner should...
- Oh, it's a blindfold.
- [man] Basic dental care.
- Oh.
In marker.
- [man] But these prison...
- [Mel] Right.
[man] Dentists pull your teeth
instead of repairing them.
So when you leave prison,
everyone is staring
at you because
you have no teeth.
But they didn't treat
the gum disease or any of
the other deadly shit
floating around in your mouth,
and now
you're fighting multiple
health battles on top
of a major no teeth stigma.
- [Mel] Can we switch it?
- Yeah.
[man] Walk into any thrift
store in the world
- you'll see that...
- Sure.
every person
working there has no teeth.
I feel confident
seeing that because
a lot of my friends
that did time now work
in thrift stores and
they will actually hire you.
[Keith sighing]
[Mel] Do you want me to choose?
No, I got it.
[upbeat techno music]
I hope I have my key.
There it is.
What are you going
to do tonight?
- I don't know.
- Yeah.
- Why don't you take a shower?
- Yeah.
A shower would be good.
So Julian is Tavi's teacher?
I don't know.
How does she know him?
He lives
around here, I guess.
Oh.
Can I show you this text?
Sure.
Think she's mad?
She's busy.
Yeah, busy and she's mad?
And why would she be mad?
Um, I made a dumb
joke the other day.
She's not mad, she's busy.
Yeah, okay. Yeah. Sorry.
No, don't be sorry. I get it.
I blocked all my contacts.
[Keith] Oh, yeah?
Yeah, I had to.
Maybe I will take a shower.
Do it, showers rule.
[hinges squeaking]
[Keith muttering]
[phone keys clicking]
[Keith mumbling]
[objects clattering]
Lighter, lighter, lighter,
lighter, lighter, lighter
[objects clattering]
[Keith mumbling]
[Keith sighing]
[water sloshing]
- Just getting water.
- Oh, good.
Yeah, me too.
[water sloshing]
- You have chips.
- Mm-hm.
Very old from the pantry.
Hm.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
[Tavi] You look sweaty.
I did some jump-jumping jacks.
Hm.
- Okay. Good night, dad.
- Mm-hm.
[water sloshing]
[slow suspenseful music]
[crickets chirping]
[eerie upbeat music]
You didn't shower?
No.
Me neither.
[Tavi] Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
[cellphone vibrating]
Do you have
a knife or a shovel?
I'm feeling pretty good today.
I am too actually.
I like the raisin exercise.
Yeah, that was all right.
I just don't like
raisins in my chili.
They're fine.
Just not my chili.
[Nickie]
Yeah, I never heard of that.
What's up?
[Anne] Do you want Carol on her
knees to make her look shorter?
[Keith] That's fine.
[Anne] Carol, would
you mind getting on
your knees since
his daughter's shorter?
- Sure.
- [keys jingling]
Should we start?
Yes.
So, Tavi, I wanted
to talk to you about this
before I spoke to your dad.
Okay.
What is it?
You know how I had to go away
for a couple of weeks to work?
- Yeah. Well,
- I loved being away.
Eye contact, Keith.
Not from you,
of course, but from your dad.
He's such a burden,
don't you think?
Yeah.
All of his problems
are so annoying.
I don't even get what he has.
I'm so sick
of worrying about him.
Me neither.
You know, ordinary people
can eat a little too much,
drink a little too much,
have a day that's not exact,
and they don't
have to go crazy.
- He's really very messed up.
- I'm glad I came out normal.
Sometimes I think it's
just an excuse to be lazy
and not make any money.
Yeah, he doesn't
do anything all day.
- He's messing up our lives.
- Yeah, I hate him.
And I met someone
who makes a lot of money
and doesn't
have any of these issues.
He's easy-going and famous.
Wow, cool.
I love famous people.
So we should leave
your dad
and move in with this guy
instead, right?
Yeah, definitely. When?
Later when
you're dad's sleeping.
Yeah, I don't
wanna say bye to him.
Oh, me neither.
He'd probably cry.
- Yeah, he's such a loser.
- Such a loser.
Yeah, he won't even
beat up the creep
that's been following me.
Because he's pathetic.
I'll call the hospital now.
Wow, I'm so excited.
Does my new dad have enough
money to take us to Hawaii?
Oh, definitely.
Yay, I don't want to see dad
ever again.
Oh, well, you won't have to.
They don't allow children
in these psych hospitals.
Yeah, I'll just
pretend he never existed.
That's just
what I was thinking.
Keith [indistinct]?
I am a representative
from [indistinct]
a psychiatric
hospital in Port Alice.
You have been signed
for and you will live
there from now on.
Your family did not want
to see you before you left,
so you'll come with me now.
[clapping]
[Anne] Let's take a quick
five-minute recess
and we'll be
right back for process.
SUDs?
Uh, eight?
I don't know, 8.5.
Or eight. 8.7, now.
I'm kind of freaking out.
Good.
Good.
Why... why don't we have
a seat back on the mat
and we'll work on that, okay?
Do you wanna have...
have a seat over here
and we'll work on that, okay?
All right.
Use your resources to lower
them down.
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay.
Try... try to get it to
a five.
- Meditate, listen to music.
- Mm-hmm.
You know the resources
that are good for you.
Good work.
[playful upbeat music]
Whoa.
[yelling]
What you can't say
What you can't say
What you can't say
What you can't say
[Richard] Fuck you, Keith.
[laughing sarcastically]
[woman] Some of us come
here and do the work,
[laughing sarcastically]
and do all the worksheets,
and play by the rules.
You just come here and
do whatever you want
and you always have to be
the center of attention.
[Richard]
Why do you even come here, man?
I just wanna
validate that it's really
brave to do
an exposure in general.
[Richard] It's fucking
bullshit.
[laughing sarcastically]
[woman] I have to agree.
And even though it may
seem like it makes it worse.
- [Keith] Mm, mm, yeah.
- You are handling it.
This is you handling it.
I feel like
I'm making it happen.
[man] Now, one thing that
struck me that the first time
they went actually
down into this cave,
I had to stay behind because
I was having a back issue.
So I was just in the van
listening in on everything
and, um, but I was able to
go down at a later date
and the thing that struck me
was that the... the... the size
of the sound that they were
able to get from these...
[piano music]
I am not having this
conversation with you, Max.
'Cause you know I'm right.
It's true.
You're so addicted
to celebrity culture
you actually
believe these donations.
Like it's a classic move.
They do that to make
the fans happy, donate.
Oh, look, it's Tavi.
Tavi!
- Who is she with?
- I don't know. Wait.
Don't let them see.
- Don't let them see me.
- Look. Move.
Look, I gotta fill
up this tank and we gotta
go get these
paper towels for ma.
Who is that?
Who is that old man?
With everyone,
person, plant, everything.
Like would
you have a uniform
or not is probably
the question.
I... I wouldn't have
a name and...
[car horn blaring]
[Maxine] Come on, Tavi.
Come on.
Get away from my friend,
you sicko.
- Get in the car.
- [Tavi] Are you...
[Olivia] Get in the car.
You? Shame on you.
[Maxine]
Tavi. Are you okay?
Mm-hmm.
[Olivia] Do you know where
your mom and dad are?
Neither one of
your parents are answering.
Do you think
their mom and dad are home?
Is this something that happen
all the time?
[Maxine] Is your mom still
on set?
Yeah, and dad's
probably at group.
[Olivia]
He's still doing that?
[Maxine] It doesn't
just go away.
[Olivia]
Okay, but it's Saturday.
He can't do that in the week?
[eerie upbeat music]
Hey, how's it going?
[woman] I can't complain.
I, uh...
I was just wondering if you
guys are hiring right now?
[woman] We are.
You are?
Yep.
Wow, great.
Got a resume?
Yeah.
Yeah. Here.
Um...
But I should just let you know
that I was
recently incarcerated.
The important thing
is that you flip the sign.
People forget to flip
the sign
and then everyone thinks
we're closed.
[chuckling]
Uh, that's important.
Yes, it is.
Thanks.
[hinges squeaking]
How did you meet that guy?
I saw him.
Where?
Over there.
[Keith]
How could I have known that?
Of course, I'm with her now.
Okay, you just talk to her?
I can't do anything right.
Tavi.
It's your mom.
[Tavi] I'm fine.
Why are you crying?
I'm fine.
I don't wanna talk
to you right now.
Yeah, Liz.
I'll call you back, okay?
About to do that right now.
I'm sitting right here.
I'll call you after.
Okay. I'm hanging up now.
Goodbye. Okay.
I'll call you later.
Uh, Tav.
[Tavi] Everyone's mad at me.
No. No.
No one's mad at you.
You did nothing wrong.
You did... nothing wrong.
I just want
to know about this guy.
You know, I...
we don't know him.
I don't know
anything about him.
- [Tavi] So?
- So it's kinda weird.
So we love you. I love you.
You're my fucking kid.
Do you know what that means?
You're like...
you're like the only thing
in the world I'm
really fucking proud of.
So I want to keep you safe.
And it's kinda weird like
we don't know what
you've been doing with
this guy, you know,
it's kinda weird like...
[Tavi] We just like each other.
Oh.
Let's just calm down a second.
Have you guys...
been...
touching?
[Tavi] What?
Has he touched you?
[Tavi] Yeah. A lot.
Fucking piece of shit.
He's not a piece of shit.
Tavi, I need you to understand.
It is not okay
for someone
to touch you without
your permission.
We've just
been touching like this.
Okay. Well...
uh, has...
has he touched you here?
Or here?
Made you touch him?
No. Just here.
[crickets chirping]
[slow gentle music]
[tense eerie music]
I made a joke this morning
about the house burning down
and Liz got all mad
because she thinks I'm not
making any progress and
maybe I'm not, maybe I'm not.
So I go high speed to fuck it.
Yeah. Right. True.
[sighing]
[crickets chirping]
Uh-huh.
An arbitrary task. Yeah.
[crickets chirping]
That's helpful.
[rough industrial music]
- [water splashing]
- [Anne] It calms you quickly.
The cold water stimulates
the parasympathetic system,
- slowing everything down.
- [water splashing]
[Richard] Only cunts
walk alone.
[Anne] Good.
Good job, Richard, keep going.
Let's move on to P pacing.
- [Richard] Nobody cares
about you.
[Anne] Nice. Nice.
Exhaling all the way out.
[Richard] You act like a baby.
You think anybody
wants to date a baby?
[Anne] Very nice.
Five to seven cycles, please.
[Richard]
You think you're an artist?
You have no talent.
You're old.
Is anything
coming up for you, Mel?
No.
[Anne] Good.
Nice work.
- All right, everybody.
- [clapping]
Let's take a quick
five-minute bathroom break
and return here for process.
So I put the click link
in the chat and now I basically
have to go home after school
and think about what I've done.
Mm-hmm. Did you see my piece?
- What?
- My piece on the sidewalk?
No.
I think humans
are like dolphins.
We need a lot of water.
Like that's why it's
so dumb to live in the desert.
Everyone is going to die.
- [Tavi] Yeah.
- But I guess that's everywhere
except the ocean.
Yeah, even there,
but the armies' missiles
mess up the waves and the fish.
My dad probably wasn't
thinking about that
when he joined, you know.
Nobody thinks about the fish.
Like when I was in second
everyone was jealous
of me [indistinct]
And now she's girlfriend/
boyfriend with Jeremy Thompson
and I don't get it because,
like, he smells.
And I'm not a mean person.
Like I can say mean things
sometimes but I'm not mean.
I just don't even
sit next to him
I can smell that boy
from a mile away.
What?
Tavi, what are you doing?
[driver]
No standing on the bus.
- I get off here.
- [driver] Here?
This is in the middle
of the street.
[paper crackling]
- [Carol] Thank you.
- Here you go... You're welcome.
- And Keith...
- Thank you.
And ni... nice job
today, Richard.
I need to do
my target behaviors.
I'm stressed, I know it.
[Mel] I always feel like that.
- [Nickie] Yeah, me too.
- Do opposite action.
- [woman] I walk the track.
- Take it back.
The track? What track?
- [woman] By union.
- [Richard] I know exactly
what I want to eat
and what I want to drink.
[Nickie] Bells distract me.
I keep them next to my stove
so I don't touch it.
Chicken fingers and Armageddon.
[Mel]
Why don't you go to the movies?
- Man it's always good.
- I can't go to the movies.
I'll get popcorn
and end up at the bar.
Well, you could listen to music
and make a nice lunch
with apricots and...
- look at your worksheet.
- When I am alone,
that's when
it gets going, okay?
[Anne] It's just
a want, Richard.
Just a thought.
Wanna go to the store,
with me?
- I need to be alone. Bye.
- [Richard] Where are you going?
I need an HDMI cable.
- Yeah, where are you going?
- Have a great day, everybody.
Use your resources.
Rogers.
I don't want to...
- but I should.
- Can I come?
- Sure.
- Does anybody have a lighter?
I'll fuck
everything up if I don't.
[Mel]
I feel weird, I wanna leave.
Shotgun.
[eerie music]
[lively upbeat music]
[Richard]
So I owe them like four grand.
I have no way of
getting them that money.
So I really don't
wanna bump into them.
- Your license is suspended?
- Mm-hmm.
I stole a cello.
How did you carry it?
[Mel] I don't remember.
Do you play?
[Mel] No.
I just think
they're really beautiful.
Like a wood body...
with a wood neck.
[man] It says you were
a football team in New Mexico?
I was in
a football team here, yeah.
[man] No, this says you... you
were the entire football team,
the way that you wrote it.
- Oh, is it?
- Yeah.
[man] So is that true, you were
the entire football team?
Must be a typo.
[man] Just making sure.
It's more stylized
but it fits in your pocket.
It's not really HDMI though.
Not technically,
but it does the same thing.
You have your computer on you?
- [Keith] One sec.
- What's this do?
- [Keith] Hello.
- I don't know.
Yeah.
Dad, how are you?
Okay. What does that mean?
No, she's not with me.
What is this?
What is this about
you can't be out past 9:00?
What is that?
Well...
I'm currently on parole.
So 9:00 is my curfew.
Curfew from who?
The State.
Oh...
Yeah. All right. Well...
But my parole officer
recommends me.
I even listed her
as a reference.
- Sure. Yeah. Okay.
- It's kind of unusual.
Yeah, no.
I'll let you know.
Hello.
I saw you fall.
What was that?
I saw you fall...
on the sidewalk,
yesterday, over there.
Oh.
Yeah, I did.
- Tripped.
- I saw you.
You saw me?
Fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck.
Hey, this is Keith again,
Tavi's dad.
[Mel] Maybe they just
messed up attendance.
- Can you please...
- How old is she?
No. No, she's not here.
I don't know
if that's protocol.
- Now they're gonna call.
- [Keith] She's in California.
Why would they?
It's all fine, uh, it's
just better if you don't call.
What are you gonna do now?
Exactly. I'll tell her myself.
Okay, never mind.
Actually, never...
you pretend I didn't call.
Okay. Okay.
Are you guys coming?
[car engine revving]
[Julian]
What do you see?
[slow ethereal music]
A little bit of orange,
maybe my cousin.
[Julian and Tavi]
Boom, boom, boom.
[slow ethereal music]
[Julian] Yeah.
You already know.
[Keith] Not...
not even walking by?
No.
She's, uh,
in a yellow shirt, I think.
No one has been here
today except you.
Shit. Shit.
I don't know, isn't... that's...
that's a thing,
police protocol?
They notify everyone involved,
they don't think
that she's with her,
they don't know
if she's in California.
I don't think she ran away.
I don't know, if... if I knew
why would I be driving around?
In a house?
Yeah.
Me too.
That's weird,
we both live in houses.
Yeah, it is.
Mine is more like
a building than a house.
Like a department store?
Nah, it's just...
houses of families.
And I just live
with a couple of people
who don't really
acknowledge each other.
That sucks.
Yeah...
it sorta does.
Mine has three stories.
[Julian] It's big.
For ants.
Huge for ants.
I should get going.
Do you know where you are?
Kind of.
Here.
If you get lost...
- or...
- [paper rustling]
feel like getting lost...
call me.
[door thudding]
Tavi?
Tav?
[Tavi] Hi, Dad.
You've been here
the whole time.
[Tavi] Whole time?
Skipped school today?
[Tavi] Not really.
Ms. Cassiva called me.
[Tavi] I left early.
Why?
[Tavi] I had
other things to do.
- [object rolling]
- [clearing throat]
You have to go to school, Tav.
It's one of those things
we have to do
even if we don't want to.
Gonna make you
a better person someday.
Like, I gotta go
to school too every day.
I go to the thing,
it's basically school.
Me and you are doing
everything we can to be better.
And smarter, healthier.
If you don't wanna
go one day, just tell me,
we could do something fun.
Play hooky, I'm good at hooky.
I didn't know where you were.
[paper crackling]
Sorry.
Were you scared?
[pencil scribbling]
No, no, it's fine.
[Tavi] I'm sorry.
Don't be sorry.
Are you okay now?
Yeah, I'm so stupid.
I overreacted.
[pencil scribbling]
I'll make dinner.
Eggs?
Sure.
[pencil scribbling]
[man] Mm-hm. Yeah.
Yeah, what do they say?
To try and...
try and leave the cave
in better shape
- than when you left.
- [man 2] Right.
[man] Or when
you initially went there,
or I think it's try and
leave it in the same shape,
don't try and improve upon it.
[man 2] While I was down there,
I did let a little bit...
this is embarrassing to admit,
but I was scared as I said,
and I let, uh, just a little...
a little bit flow.
Just a small number one.
I mean and...
and I'm hoping none of it
touched the cave floor,
but, um...
[man] This was
a religious experience.
[man 2] Yeah, I mean,
truly, what do they say?
You can't have
a religious experience
without emitting a bit of...
like a teaspoon
full of urine, uh...
[cellphone vibrating]
[sighing]
Hey, Liz.
[crickets chirping]
Tav.
Hi, Mom.
I got it. Is it clay?
Oh.
He's... good.
He's cooking.
Scrambled eggs.
It's fine because
I have other things for lunch.
[slow ethereal music]
[Keith] Dinner!
Thank you to the food
for giving me nutrients,
keeping me alive.
Thank you to my kid
across the table from me here,
sitting with me.
Thank you to Liz
for checking in on us
even with her busy schedule,
and my friends in the program
who believe in me.
Thank you to my eyes
for letting me see.
And Liz for giving me
quality time with my child.
Thank you to the sun
for giving light and f...
to the moon
for giving darkness.
Thank you to my legs
for carrying me around.
Thank you to Julian
for falling on the sidewalk,
and thank you to my dad
for giving me food
every morning and every night.
Thank you to my heart
for becoming more open.
Thank you to Maxine,
who uses the right pronouns
and makes me laugh...
- Thank you to my ears...
- when people are mean to me.
...for bringing
all the new possibilities.
Thank you to
the sand which cushions me
when I look too closely.
Thank you.
[piano playing]
[crickets chirping]
[Tavi] Do graves get
watered by the rain?
What?
Do graves
get watered by the rain?
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Mm.
Just, uh, make sure
she gets to school today.
They, not she.
- All right, no problem.
- Make sure.
Thank You. All right.
[girl]
I can't believe you did that.
[girl 2]
I didn't say anything.
I don't get why people think
your dad's so hot.
He's out of shape.
Not really.
Maybe it's cause he's crazy,
people love crazy.
He's not that crazy anymore.
He should really
stop misgendering you.
Like, that's messed up.
Do you even correct him? No.
It shouldn't be on you,
so he should just know.
You should meet
my mom's friend.
She works for ambulance,
she wears this thing
over her ears, like the tape,
but, like,
it doesn't rip the skin.
Maybe you can borrow them.
Well, I really
liked that restaurant.
It's very cute.
I hated it.
I wanted chicken tenders.
- Honey.
- Mom.
Girls.
Richard, look out!
Hi, Nickie. I'm Anne.
I work for the police force.
I have some very
unfortunate news for you today.
Your family died in
a car crash tonight.
Oh.
And I know you don't have any
other relatives so, I'm sorry.
It seems like your life is
going to be very hard
from now on.
[Nickie] Okay.
Nobody will
be able to help you,
and it's honestly your fault.
You could have asked them
to eat with you at home,
but you were too busy
chatting with someone
on your cell phone,
weren't you?
What a shame.
Now they're all dead...
and you're all alone,
and nobody cares.
[clapping]
Let's take a quick
five-minute bathroom break
and return here for process.
Let's take five minutes.
Great job.
[door thudding]
Hey.
Uh... hello.
Hey.
Uh...
I was just wondering if
you guys are hiring right now?
Uh...
I don't think so.
Okay. Well, I have a lot of
experience with ceramics.
I use a lot of pottery.
I pay very,
very close attention to cups.
Um, well, I'm not the manager.
Well, I still would like
to get involved.
- Mm-hmm.
- So, okay.
[papers crackling]
Here's my resume
and references.
You can call
the number at the top.
[woman] Uh, yeah.
You can set it right there.
Yes. Set it right down, thanks.
Okay.
Thank you for your time.
Uh, appreciate it.
[woman] All right.
[hinges squeaking]
A social worker
would never really say that.
So, it's... it's dumb, but it
also really scares me because
like, Richard
and everybody are, like,
falling out of their seats,
I was a nine,
I don't know if
anybody could tell.
Same thing happened to me
the night before my exposure.
My SUDs went really
high thinking about it.
I always think that thinking
about it makes it happen.
- [Nickie] Yeah.
- But you get to see
and hear your thoughts
right out there in the open.
That's why
I found mine so helpful.
That's... that's why
I haven't done mine yet.
I can't even say it out loud.
About Liz?
Mm-hmm.
Now my SUDs are an eight.
I can feel my heart.
Yeah, that happens to me too.
I know that's the whole point.
It makes it absurd.
I did a relapse one,
and I didn't relapse.
- Does that count?
- Definitely.
And you said it made you feel
like you could handle it.
- Right, Richard?
- [Richard] Yeah.
- Doing it gave me the power.
- [Anne] Mm-hm.
[Richard] Like, I could see
what would happen.
I would freak out,
and I'd say a bunch
of dramatic shit,
but it would be fine.
I could handle it.
[papers crackling]
[phone beeping]
[lively upbeat music]
[machine beeping]
[breathing heavily]
[crickets chirping]
[Tavi] You know colosseums?
[Julian]
Like Rome or the Aztecs?
[Tavi] Yeah.
Have you ever made one?
[Julian] Um...
probably in some way,
an accidental
sort of colosseum.
[truck rumbling]
[man] We recognize
fully and honestly
how our behaviors have created
difficulties in our lives.
I've tried different methods,
I usually like
to keep them in the body.
[woman] Four essential
DBT skills to master.
Essential. Es-sen-tial.
[man 2] If you meet
a fencing master on the road,
you may give him your sword.
[woman 2] When you're manic,
you know, people show up,
like, you're going 90 in a 55,
searching for the library
in a fog of fug,
one ski ready for Everest,
one Rockaway Beach. It is...
[woman 3] Once I've decided,
that there won't be a perfect
souvenir for the United States.
[man 3] Don't pass
the disappointment mailbox,
merciless.
[cellphone ringing]
Hello.
[woman] Hi.
I don't have all my numbers.
Who's this?
[woman] Sorry. What?
I don't have all my numbers.
Who is this?
[woman] Oh, it's Mel.
- Mel.
- Mel?
[Mel] Yeah, from group.
Oh, uh, Mel. Hey.
Yeah, sorry, I can't really
hear so good
in my car speakers.
[Mel] Um...
- Are you there?
- Yeah. Yeah.
[Mel] Do you want to meet to do
our worksheet together?
Uh, yeah.
Yeah, I'm just cruising around,
you know, uh...
business, resource recovery,
trying to get in that zone.
Probably be good to have
another head, brain.
[Mel] Hey, you're in the car?
Yeah, I could, uh...
I could take you off speakers,
it's just one button
versus another.
[Mel] So could you, like,
pick me up?
[trolley clacking]
[Julian] A baby.
These aren't just for babies.
[trolley creaking]
My hamstrings are tight
from those jumps earlier.
I might have to hum
on them later.
- You ever done that?
- No.
The vibrations reorient
the muscle if it gets twisted.
What do you eat?
Food-wise?
Pale colors.
Well.
Rice?
Yeah.
[Julian] Cheese?
[Tavi] Not really.
[Julian] Hmm...
- Chicken?
- [Tavi] No.
- You vegetarian?
- Yeah.
Huh, me too.
Well, I mean,
when I can afford it.
Shall not kill...
shall not gossip.
I shalt not kill.
Would you kill an animal
if you had to?
I don't know.
Like... if I was starving?
Yeah, I like these... color.
I mean...
I could kill a fish.
I have killed a fish before.
[Tavi]
Nobody cares about fish.
But...
like, if I was starving?
You know, it's tricky.
[woman] You know that coconut
have the exact same
- number of calories.
- It's about the milk, Mom.
[woman] I'm just saying.
Isn't that your friend Tavi?
- Oh, my God, stop.
- Hi, Tavi.
Fancy seeing you here.
Alison's getting
her tonsils out tomorrow,
so I let her take off
and we're...
buying a ton of ice cream.
Huh...
sounds like a lot of fun.
I got mine out.
Get peppermint.
Peppermint soothes.
Also raw honey.
Just put some on
your lymph nodes, like this.
Does your dad know you're here?
[Tavi]
Does your dad know you're here?
Excuse me? No. But that's not
really the question here,
- is it?
- Mom, stop.
No. Don't tell me to stop,
Alison. I don't...
I don't know why Tavi's here
in the middle of the day
with a strange man, but I...
- Bye.
- I certainly...
Uh,
Don't tell me to stop, Alison,
she should be in school.
She's not a she, she's a they.
- You always get it wrong.
- What?
Tavi is not a she,
she's a they.
That's not what
we're talking about right now.
Oh, my God.
She is... your friend is here
in the middle of the day
with some strange man.
You have a backyard?
- Sort of.
- Can I see it?
Sure.
Here it is.
You dig that?
No.
Want a glass of water
or something?
No.
Thanks, I'm just...
this hole just reminds me
of another hole
that I totally forgot about.
Okay.
Tell me all about it inside.
[Julian]
Let's pledge allegiance...
to the sand...
which stands but lays...
and dance.
One...
Turn to a rock.
Turning rock.
Turn the rock,
turn the rock,
turn the rock, turn the rock,
turn the rock, turn the rock,
turn the rock, turn the rock,
turn the rock, turn the rock,
turn a rock, turn the rock,
turn the rock...
[mumbling indistinctly]
[panting]
Turn...
the...
lock.
[latch rattling]
Yes, it's weird when that...
that happens.
Those gaps when...
one thing reminds you
of another thing.
Yeah.
I try not to be superstitious
about them anymore.
Same.
What was the hole?
Uh, one I tripped in.
I was retarded.
I mean...
stupid.
Like, on psychedelics?
[Mel] No, I sprained my ankle.
Oh, yeah.
[Mel]
It's okay. I put tape on it.
Yeah, that's what I did
when I sprained my wrist.
Mm.
Took me like four months
to get these movements back.
[Mel chuckling]
Sorry, did I cut you off?
Um...
my last conversation
analysis...
I kept cutting my partner off.
A lot of guys do that.
[Keith] Yeah.
I didn't make
eye contact in mine.
Well, that's
big one for honesty, right?
[Mel] Yeah, apparently.
I've never
really done eye contact,
but I guess I've never
really been that honest either.
I don't know, whatever.
Oh, you're making
my eye contact now.
Yeah, thanks. I've been trying.
Every couple of seconds.
- [Keith] Yeah, feels natural.
- Thank you.
[footsteps plodding]
- It's in here?
- Right.
[chair squeaking]
[Keith] So we need
to arrive at a sequence.
- That's an [indistinct].
- Mm...
[tape crackling]
What's your password?
- [Keith] Doorlogs.
- "Door logs"?
- Like door logs?
- One word.
[keyboard clicking]
[slow gentle music]
[alarm ringing]
Shit, it's almost five.
Ah, I gotta start dinner.
Tavi is probably home.
Did you hear the door?
Tavi.
[Keith chuckling]
Oh.
Tav.
- Oh, you're home.
- [Tavi] Hi, dad.
- We added sand to the walls.
- Yeah.
I'm Keith, Tavi's dad.
Hi, I'm Julian.
It's like outside but inside.
- [Keith] We met before?
- [Julian] Um, I don't think so.
I saw Julian
fall on the sidewalk.
[Keith] Uh-huh.
Are you staying for dinner?
Ah, if you're offering.
Sure.
[Mel] What's up?
[Keith] Uh...
Uh, my daughter moved all this
furniture around.
I always rearrange my room.
[Keith] Yeah...
I set the table.
[Keith] Wow, that's so nice.
Yeah, I didn't... I don't know
if I did it the way
that you guys do it,
but I won't be offended
if you move
things around or anything.
[Keith] Wow. That's great.
Thank you.
Just need, um,
napkins and one extra seat.
[Mel] Your wife?
[man] You've got
a constitutional right
to receive
dental care in prison.
Hey, I like that.
Behind your ear?
- [man] Every prisoner should...
- Oh, it's a blindfold.
- [man] Basic dental care.
- Oh.
In marker.
- [man] But these prison...
- [Mel] Right.
[man] Dentists pull your teeth
instead of repairing them.
So when you leave prison,
everyone is staring
at you because
you have no teeth.
But they didn't treat
the gum disease or any of
the other deadly shit
floating around in your mouth,
and now
you're fighting multiple
health battles on top
of a major no teeth stigma.
- [Mel] Can we switch it?
- Yeah.
[man] Walk into any thrift
store in the world
- you'll see that...
- Sure.
every person
working there has no teeth.
I feel confident
seeing that because
a lot of my friends
that did time now work
in thrift stores and
they will actually hire you.
[Keith sighing]
[Mel] Do you want me to choose?
No, I got it.
[upbeat techno music]
I hope I have my key.
There it is.
What are you going
to do tonight?
- I don't know.
- Yeah.
- Why don't you take a shower?
- Yeah.
A shower would be good.
So Julian is Tavi's teacher?
I don't know.
How does she know him?
He lives
around here, I guess.
Oh.
Can I show you this text?
Sure.
Think she's mad?
She's busy.
Yeah, busy and she's mad?
And why would she be mad?
Um, I made a dumb
joke the other day.
She's not mad, she's busy.
Yeah, okay. Yeah. Sorry.
No, don't be sorry. I get it.
I blocked all my contacts.
[Keith] Oh, yeah?
Yeah, I had to.
Maybe I will take a shower.
Do it, showers rule.
[hinges squeaking]
[Keith muttering]
[phone keys clicking]
[Keith mumbling]
[objects clattering]
Lighter, lighter, lighter,
lighter, lighter, lighter
[objects clattering]
[Keith mumbling]
[Keith sighing]
[water sloshing]
- Just getting water.
- Oh, good.
Yeah, me too.
[water sloshing]
- You have chips.
- Mm-hm.
Very old from the pantry.
Hm.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
[Tavi] You look sweaty.
I did some jump-jumping jacks.
Hm.
- Okay. Good night, dad.
- Mm-hm.
[water sloshing]
[slow suspenseful music]
[crickets chirping]
[eerie upbeat music]
You didn't shower?
No.
Me neither.
[Tavi] Dad?
Dad?
Dad?
[cellphone vibrating]
Do you have
a knife or a shovel?
I'm feeling pretty good today.
I am too actually.
I like the raisin exercise.
Yeah, that was all right.
I just don't like
raisins in my chili.
They're fine.
Just not my chili.
[Nickie]
Yeah, I never heard of that.
What's up?
[Anne] Do you want Carol on her
knees to make her look shorter?
[Keith] That's fine.
[Anne] Carol, would
you mind getting on
your knees since
his daughter's shorter?
- Sure.
- [keys jingling]
Should we start?
Yes.
So, Tavi, I wanted
to talk to you about this
before I spoke to your dad.
Okay.
What is it?
You know how I had to go away
for a couple of weeks to work?
- Yeah. Well,
- I loved being away.
Eye contact, Keith.
Not from you,
of course, but from your dad.
He's such a burden,
don't you think?
Yeah.
All of his problems
are so annoying.
I don't even get what he has.
I'm so sick
of worrying about him.
Me neither.
You know, ordinary people
can eat a little too much,
drink a little too much,
have a day that's not exact,
and they don't
have to go crazy.
- He's really very messed up.
- I'm glad I came out normal.
Sometimes I think it's
just an excuse to be lazy
and not make any money.
Yeah, he doesn't
do anything all day.
- He's messing up our lives.
- Yeah, I hate him.
And I met someone
who makes a lot of money
and doesn't
have any of these issues.
He's easy-going and famous.
Wow, cool.
I love famous people.
So we should leave
your dad
and move in with this guy
instead, right?
Yeah, definitely. When?
Later when
you're dad's sleeping.
Yeah, I don't
wanna say bye to him.
Oh, me neither.
He'd probably cry.
- Yeah, he's such a loser.
- Such a loser.
Yeah, he won't even
beat up the creep
that's been following me.
Because he's pathetic.
I'll call the hospital now.
Wow, I'm so excited.
Does my new dad have enough
money to take us to Hawaii?
Oh, definitely.
Yay, I don't want to see dad
ever again.
Oh, well, you won't have to.
They don't allow children
in these psych hospitals.
Yeah, I'll just
pretend he never existed.
That's just
what I was thinking.
Keith [indistinct]?
I am a representative
from [indistinct]
a psychiatric
hospital in Port Alice.
You have been signed
for and you will live
there from now on.
Your family did not want
to see you before you left,
so you'll come with me now.
[clapping]
[Anne] Let's take a quick
five-minute recess
and we'll be
right back for process.
SUDs?
Uh, eight?
I don't know, 8.5.
Or eight. 8.7, now.
I'm kind of freaking out.
Good.
Good.
Why... why don't we have
a seat back on the mat
and we'll work on that, okay?
Do you wanna have...
have a seat over here
and we'll work on that, okay?
All right.
Use your resources to lower
them down.
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay.
Try... try to get it to
a five.
- Meditate, listen to music.
- Mm-hmm.
You know the resources
that are good for you.
Good work.
[playful upbeat music]
Whoa.
[yelling]
What you can't say
What you can't say
What you can't say
What you can't say
[Richard] Fuck you, Keith.
[laughing sarcastically]
[woman] Some of us come
here and do the work,
[laughing sarcastically]
and do all the worksheets,
and play by the rules.
You just come here and
do whatever you want
and you always have to be
the center of attention.
[Richard]
Why do you even come here, man?
I just wanna
validate that it's really
brave to do
an exposure in general.
[Richard] It's fucking
bullshit.
[laughing sarcastically]
[woman] I have to agree.
And even though it may
seem like it makes it worse.
- [Keith] Mm, mm, yeah.
- You are handling it.
This is you handling it.
I feel like
I'm making it happen.
[man] Now, one thing that
struck me that the first time
they went actually
down into this cave,
I had to stay behind because
I was having a back issue.
So I was just in the van
listening in on everything
and, um, but I was able to
go down at a later date
and the thing that struck me
was that the... the... the size
of the sound that they were
able to get from these...
[piano music]
I am not having this
conversation with you, Max.
'Cause you know I'm right.
It's true.
You're so addicted
to celebrity culture
you actually
believe these donations.
Like it's a classic move.
They do that to make
the fans happy, donate.
Oh, look, it's Tavi.
Tavi!
- Who is she with?
- I don't know. Wait.
Don't let them see.
- Don't let them see me.
- Look. Move.
Look, I gotta fill
up this tank and we gotta
go get these
paper towels for ma.
Who is that?
Who is that old man?
With everyone,
person, plant, everything.
Like would
you have a uniform
or not is probably
the question.
I... I wouldn't have
a name and...
[car horn blaring]
[Maxine] Come on, Tavi.
Come on.
Get away from my friend,
you sicko.
- Get in the car.
- [Tavi] Are you...
[Olivia] Get in the car.
You? Shame on you.
[Maxine]
Tavi. Are you okay?
Mm-hmm.
[Olivia] Do you know where
your mom and dad are?
Neither one of
your parents are answering.
Do you think
their mom and dad are home?
Is this something that happen
all the time?
[Maxine] Is your mom still
on set?
Yeah, and dad's
probably at group.
[Olivia]
He's still doing that?
[Maxine] It doesn't
just go away.
[Olivia]
Okay, but it's Saturday.
He can't do that in the week?
[eerie upbeat music]
Hey, how's it going?
[woman] I can't complain.
I, uh...
I was just wondering if you
guys are hiring right now?
[woman] We are.
You are?
Yep.
Wow, great.
Got a resume?
Yeah.
Yeah. Here.
Um...
But I should just let you know
that I was
recently incarcerated.
The important thing
is that you flip the sign.
People forget to flip
the sign
and then everyone thinks
we're closed.
[chuckling]
Uh, that's important.
Yes, it is.
Thanks.
[hinges squeaking]
How did you meet that guy?
I saw him.
Where?
Over there.
[Keith]
How could I have known that?
Of course, I'm with her now.
Okay, you just talk to her?
I can't do anything right.
Tavi.
It's your mom.
[Tavi] I'm fine.
Why are you crying?
I'm fine.
I don't wanna talk
to you right now.
Yeah, Liz.
I'll call you back, okay?
About to do that right now.
I'm sitting right here.
I'll call you after.
Okay. I'm hanging up now.
Goodbye. Okay.
I'll call you later.
Uh, Tav.
[Tavi] Everyone's mad at me.
No. No.
No one's mad at you.
You did nothing wrong.
You did... nothing wrong.
I just want
to know about this guy.
You know, I...
we don't know him.
I don't know
anything about him.
- [Tavi] So?
- So it's kinda weird.
So we love you. I love you.
You're my fucking kid.
Do you know what that means?
You're like...
you're like the only thing
in the world I'm
really fucking proud of.
So I want to keep you safe.
And it's kinda weird like
we don't know what
you've been doing with
this guy, you know,
it's kinda weird like...
[Tavi] We just like each other.
Oh.
Let's just calm down a second.
Have you guys...
been...
touching?
[Tavi] What?
Has he touched you?
[Tavi] Yeah. A lot.
Fucking piece of shit.
He's not a piece of shit.
Tavi, I need you to understand.
It is not okay
for someone
to touch you without
your permission.
We've just
been touching like this.
Okay. Well...
uh, has...
has he touched you here?
Or here?
Made you touch him?
No. Just here.
[crickets chirping]
[slow gentle music]