Five Weeks in a Balloon (1962) Movie Script

Here am I, what a lucky guy
As the world
goes floating by
In the open air without a care
Five weeks in a balloon
I wouldn't trade
my place today
With the king of Mandalay
High and low and away we go
Five weeks in a balloon
Now when I'm floatin'
high up in the blue
There is nothing I cannot do
I'm taller than an elephant
and twice as powerful too
So come with me
and you will see
Why I'm happy as can be
And you'll be too
when you've been through
Five weeks in a balloon
With the wonders
of nature below me
And the limitless sky
up above me
I will touch the stars
and bow to Mars
Five weeks in a balloon
During the day
I will ride on a sunbeam
During the night
I will rest on a moonbeam
I'll be lulled to sleep
No counting sheep
Five weeks in a balloon
When I'm floatin'
high up in the blue
There is nothing I cannot do
I'm taller than an elephant
and twice as powerful too
So come with me
and you will see
Why I'm happy as can be
And you'll be too
when you've been through
Five weeks in a balloon
And you'll be too
when you've been through
Five weeks in a balloon
Professor, can't you do something?
- Fergusson, you fool!
- Hey, what?
This is madness!
Stark insanity!
Are we all to be smashed
to smithereens in this fool machine?
That was not my original intention.
Take her up, man! Throw out
the ballast. Isn't that how it's done?
Very true, except
that we carry no ballast.
- No ballast?
- No ballast except ourselves.
Unless one of us would like
to jump overboard to save the others.
Sir Henry?
Oh! It's too late!
Very well, Professor.
Explain what happened.
The general wanted to ascend.
I was very happy to oblige.
- How?
- Newest Fergusson invention.
- Which is?
- Explain it, Jacques.
Yes, sir. Gentlemen.
The gas circulates through the pipes
into this heating chamber.
We turn up the heat,
the gas expands, and up we go.
We turn down the heat, and
we drop like a busted balloon.
No! No! Don't do that!
Up here, gentlemen, you're
as safe as in your own beds.
For the first time, a balloon can rise
or descend without loss of any gas.
Very ingenious, no doubt, but was it
necessary to treat us to cheap theatrics?
Well, my apologies, Sir Henry...
but so many of my brilliant inventions
have passed unnoticed...
that I felt this one might fare better if
presented with a certain dramatic impact.
You have proved
your point, Professor.
Now may we descend
in a less rugged area?
With pleasure.
Home, Jacques.
Sir Randolph, what are you doing here?
The same as you, sir.
After all, the professor's story
will interest my readers too.
Yes, and here is a story
that will interest you.
Hmm? In trouble again.
Haul in the line!
- A fine show, sir.
- Very graceful, Professor.
- Marvelous. Marvelous.
- Thank you, all of you.
- A perfect landing, sir.
- More than that, sir. A perfect demonstration, eh?
Well, gentlemen, are you ready to take
another trip on my good ship Jupiter?
I-I-I have a pressing appointment, sir.
Ah, that's a pity.
Sir Henry, now that my balloon
is a proven success...
can I count on the backing of the Royal
Geographic Institute to carry out my plans?
Your plan, sir,
is completely lunatic.
Exploring East Africa in this-
this imbecilic contraption?
- Imbecilic?
- I know Africa.
Neither you nor your toy
would last a week.
How dare you refer to Fergusson's
masterpiece as a toy!
- Ha! Fergusson's folly, sir.
- Sir, you go too far.
I will go farther.
As president
of the Royal Geographic Institute...
I will not recommend one penny
for your preposterous project.
And I'm sure our good treasurer agrees.
I do indeed.
A good day to you, sir, and good-bye.
Good morning to you, Professor!
What happened up there, Professor?
Sir Henry Vining is a human ostrich.
The first sign of progress, he buries his head
in the sand and hopes that it will go away.
- Ostrich.
- Before my invention...
no man could maneuver a balloon
without the loss of gas or ballast.
Sir Henry's a dolt who cannot recognize...
the greatest breakthrough in science
since steam replaced sail.
Then your expedition's off, sir?
Without the backing
of the financial institute, I'm afraid so.
- One moment, please.
- And who might you be, sir?
The name's Cornelius Randolph...
publisher of the Randolph
newspapers in America.
I'm very happy to meet you, sir.
How can I help you?
Oh, we can help each other, sir.
Now, I understand your project
is for the exploration...
and mapping of East Africa,
starting from Zanzibar.
- That was my intention.
- A stupendous story, if successful.
Sir, you could not be more right.
Then go to it, sir,
with my blessing and my backing.
- Why would you, an American-
- Circulation, Professor. Circulation.
New Yorkers will be fighting to buy
Mr. O'Shay's story of your adventures.
- Mr. O'Shay?
- Yes, Donald O'Shay, my star reporter.
Where is this gentleman?
O'Shay's in Paris at the moment
on a, uh, special assignment.
I'll have him join you in Zanzibar.
Mr. Randolph, as you Americans say,
it's a pleasure to do business with you...
and your Mr. O'Shay
will be very welcome.
Good. You'll find him a splendid
and, uh, inoffensive young man.
- Professor.
- I tell you, Inspector, again.
My ship sails within the hour.
This is downright abduction.
- If you please, sir.
- I do not please!
And I demand to know
the reason for this outrage!
They will explain inside.
- Professor Fergusson?
- It certainly is Professor Fergusson!
And I have no time for jiggery-pokery.
- Somebody's gonna pay for this.
- Yes, sir.
- Yes, sir.
- Your hat, sir.
- My hat, sir, stays where it is.
- This way, please.
- I cannot delay another minute.
- Professor Fergusson, sir.
My ship sails on the tide.
Never fear, Professor.
Your ship won't sail without you.
Mr. Prime Minister.
Good evening, Professor Fergusson.
I do not understand this
last-minute hocus-pocus.
Excuse me, sir.
This, uh, honor.
- Please be seated.
- Thank you.
- Brandy?
- Thank you, no.
Her Majesty offers her sincere good wishes.
I'm deeply touched. But I was not
aware Her Majesty was interested.
Interested... and perturbed, sir.
Perturbed? By my actions?
Not yours. Allow me.
Less than three hours ago, we learned...
that an expedition of
international slave traders...
will soon leave for the west coast...
and head for the heart of West Africa.
No-man's-land, huh?
What has this expedition-
If slavers plant their flag there,
they will control the entire territory.
- A very bitter pill for us.
- True.
We've been planning to explore
and develop that territory.
Now we have an urgent incentive:
the prevention of slavery.
But hasn't the slave trade
already been outlawed?
- Yes, but only by the major nations.
- Aye.
If they plant their flag, they'll make their
own laws and put everyone to the yoke.
- Exactly, Professor.
- This is the making of a mess.
Something's gotta be done,
but what's to do?
- We must plant our flag first.
- It cannot be done.
Start readying a British expedition...
and those slavers will be
running for the Volta River...
before you can hoist
your britches over your knees.
That's why you must plant it.
- Me? How?
- Fool them.
Fly directly from Zanzibar
to the Volta River.
A little mild exploring- say, a 200-mile
flight over East Africa- is one thing...
but to fly 4,000 miles
over unexplored jungle?
That's another.
It could be suicidal.
Her Majesty realizes that.
She even wagered me a sovereign
that you would not take the risk.
Well, Her Majesty's just
lost herself a sovereign.
If my life's to be sacrificed,
I cannot think of a better cause.
I knew we could count on you.
What about this young American
reporter that I've agreed to take along?
- This Donald O'Shay?
- Take him. The perfect witness.
- I do not follow.
- In case of a legal dispute...
the eyewitness report of an American
would be conclusive evidence of our claim.
And they tell me that he's a pleasant,
inoffensive young lad, this Donald O'Shay.
Yah! Yah!
You fat pig!
Here come the marines!
Let's go!
Ow! My foot!
Marines catch us! Run!
Me Makia.
Thank you.
Me Donald.
You're welcome.
I hope. Come on!
Whoops! So long.
- Hurry!
- I think we lost 'em.
- Mr. O'Shay?
- Who are you?
Jacques, the professor's
assistant. Who's she?
Slave girl. She didn't like the fat boy
who was trying to buy her.
- Oh, him fat pig!
- You rescued a slave?
Well, they'll cut you to pieces,
and kill the rest of us too!
Yuck, I can't stand the sight
of blood, especially my own.
Whoops! Here they come! Come on! Let's go!
- Where's Fergusson?
- At the British consulate. Come on!
Ah, bad news, sir.
Bad news.
- How bad?
- A letter from the prime minister by special courier.
- What does he say?
- The slavers know of your plan to beat them to the Volta.
They left their base a week ago.
How long will it take them
to reach the river?
- I'd say six weeks.
- That leaves me exactly five.
- It's impossible to beat them.
- Nonsense, sir. Nothing's impossible.
There's, uh, something else.
Well, I've had enough surprises
for one day. Let me hear the worst.
You are to be accompanied
by the queen's special envoy.
"The professor, I'm sure, will benefit
by the invaluable experiences...
and advice of the ex-commandant
of Khartoum. "
- Sir Henry Vining?
- General Vining, sir.
Formally known as
the scourge of the desert.
Am I to be saddled with you,
sir, all the way across Africa?
I am equally distressed, sir.
However, a soldier
does not question his orders.
You said that my balloon was a toy!
Well, perhaps the prime minister shares my
views and wants a steadier hand at the helm.
- I'm in command.
- I am the expert on Africa.
- I'm the expert on balloons.
- Ha!
- Gentlemen, every hour counts.
- Every minute, sir.
Where in tarnation is that reporter?
Wasn't he on your ship?
There was an irksome chap aboard.
We had nothing in common.
But you'll have one thing in common:
five weeks in a balloon.
Should be very cozy.
What's happening now?
Hurry! Run! Run!
They're right behind us!
Professor, that's the irksome young man.
Professor! Professor!
It's Mr. O'Shay, Professor.
Well, gentlemen.
Mr. O'Shay, what jiggery-pokery is this?
And who is the chicken thief?
Name is Makia. Pretty, isn't she?
- The slave traders whipped her, but he saved her.
- He what?
You can't do this kind
of thing in Zanzibar!
It's against the law.
She must be returned immediately.
And the chicken too.
Oh, no, you don't.
You should've seen that bull whip.
- Be quiet, sir!
- Return this girl to her owner.
- And the chicken.
- Over my dead body.
That could be arranged, young man.
- Listen, you-
- Hold your tongue, sir!
- Didn't you cause enough trouble on the ship?
- Help me!
Tried to kiss Lord Jolliphant's daughter
without an introduction.
Let me go! I'll kill you!
Fat pig!
Yeah, that'll cool him off.
Oh, hey, she never learned
that in a finishing school.
- Mr. Townsend!
- What?
- Mr. Townsend, sir!
- What is it?
The marketplace is in an uproar.
Your man helped the American
to free that slave girl.
They know he's with you,
and they're going to destroy your balloon.
And they told me you were
an inoffensive young man.
Thank you very much, sir,
for all you've done.
- My carriage is below. Take it.
- Thank you, sir.
Everybody on the double.
Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!
Hurry up!
Get the stuff loaded!
- Is it safe?
- Of course not.
- After you, General.
- Thank you.
They'll be here in a minute.
Jacques! Jacques?
Get her up.
Heat's low, Professor,
and all that baggage.
Baggage? Thunderation!
Where did all this trash come from?
- Over with them, General.
- Boy, over.
Over. Over.
Not that one. That's mine.
What do you think you're doing?
Put that down!
That's mine!
It is indeed.
Over with it.
Now, wait a minute, Professor.
Now, you just hold that.
That's my new Parisian clothes.
How dare you, sir?
Why, that's the most preposterous-
Take your hands off that hat.
You! You there!
Give me back that coat!
Fergusson, those two men
leading the mob-
They were on my ship.
They must be agents of the slavers.
- Are you sure?
- Indubitably.
They must've whipped up the mob
because of your change in plans.
- What change in plans?
- Take it up, Jacques.
- What change in plans?
- May as well tell him, Professor.
Why not? We're going
to West Africa, Mr. O'Shay.
West Africa?
You're crazy!
Knowing Sir Henry's
views on my toy...
I'm quite sure he agrees with you.
I couldn't care less, but I do want to
know why the sudden change in plans.
- We are going to plant the flag, sir.
- The what?
The flag, if you'd start listening
and stop jabbering, man.
Will you get down!
And let these wallahs
see me grovel? Ha! Unthinkable.
- What flag, General?
- The Union Jack, sir.
If this idiot contraption
can stay aloft...
Britain will keep the heart of West Africa
out of the hands of the slavers.
Who cares? Why should the Randolph
press get involved in British politics?
Besides, I'm due to winter
on the Riviera.
You see what these
colonials have come to?
Since we gave them their freedom,
they don't know right from wrong.
Gave us our freedom? Hmm.
Good shot, sir.
There's the small question
of illicit slave trading, you know.
If we fail, heaven help the natives.
Fine. But I'm a reporter, not a reformer.
I demand we return
to Zanzibar right now.
Out of the question.
Then I withdraw
our financial support.
That's a pity. How do we pay
our hotel bills in the jungle?
We are quite safe now...
and we've a bunch
of planning to be up to.
Four thousand miles of it.
Will you join me
in the chart room, General?
- We've failed.
- Not yet.
Hey, you, Jacky boy,
you're my last hope.
I appeal to you as a fellow American.
- But I'm Canadian.
- You don't look it.
It's a common mistake.
I'm a next-door neighbor from Niagara Falls.
Yeah, well, will you be a good neighbor and
steer this flying booby hatch back to Zanzibar?
- Steer? You're joking, of course.
- What do you mean by that?
Only the wind steers a balloon.
Where it goes, we go.
Well, then, how do you expect
to find a target 4,000 miles away?
That's simple. The wind blows
east to west. We just hitch a ride.
But we can change course if necessary.
- How do you do that?
- Well, there are plenty of crosswinds up there.
We go up, test different levels...
till we find a breeze
blowing in the right direction.
I hear you talking, but it
still doesn't make any sense.
And if something gets in our way,
we just blow the whistle.
The whistle?
Hush, man! Be quiet!
I tell you, the slavers
are right here, right now.
You are 200 miles off.
They are here in the Segalia foothills.
Sir, you are wrong. They
are at the Senegal River.
Here am I
What a lucky guy
As the world goes floating by
In the open air
without a care
Five weeks in a balloon
I wouldn't trade
my place today
With the king of Mandalay
High and low and away we go
Five weeks in a balloon
With the wonders
of nature below me
And the limitless sky
up above me
I will touch the stars
and bow to Mars
Five weeks in a balloon
During the day
I will ride on a sunbeam
During the night
I will rest on a moonbeam
I'll be lulled to sleep
No counting sheep
Five weeks in a balloon
When I'm floating
high up in the blue
There is nothing I can't do
I'm taller than an elephant
and twice as powerful too
So come with me
and you will see
Why I'm happy as can be
And you'll be too
when you've been through
Five weeks in a balloon
Five weeks in a balloon
There you are, Sir Henry.
If our instruments do not
play us false, I should place us here.
- Agreed?
- Agreed.
- Take her down, Jacques.
- Down?
Aye, we do not fly after dark.
We might hit a mountain.
- Supper when we land, gentlemen.
- Now, wait a minute.
What if the natives down there
want supper too- us?
You know, they could sneak up
on us during the night.
Oh, that'd be very bad form. It's an axiom
of warfare: No fighting after sundown.
Well, I hope the natives
know the rules.
Three hundred miles today,
gentlemen. 'Tis a bonny pace.
If the wind holds, we'll beat
the slavers with time to spare.
Coming down!
Easy, boy. Easy.
Slowly now.
There's no place to land down there.
Gently now.
It's a forest full of trees.
Steady, Jacques.
Not a sidewalk caf in sight.
Aye, they don't serve
the guests here. They eat 'em.
Nothing worse than a man-eating lion.
I hope I'm not his man.
General, what do you think that is?
You're the expert
on African affairs.
I've heard that often.
That is a rampaging rhinoceros.
Vicious brutes. Better get your gun.
Aye, a vicious brute indeed.
Another rhinoceros, General?
Careful, boy.
That's my prize teapot.
My constant companion
since Khartoum.
Never fear, General.
I'll guard it with my life.
Dinner's ready, Mr. O'Shay.
Ah, boiled rice, eh?
Got any chutney?
Mr. O'Shay, this
is not a fashion parade.
My dear Professor,
I always dress for dinner.
I must say, Professor,
the lad shows good breeding.
I have always felt that
the mark of a gentleman-
- Spare us your platitudes. The vittles'll be getting cold.
- Oh.
And spare us your bickerings, and let us
drink to the success of a very worthy mission.
I'll drink to the success of my mission...
which is to get back to civilization...
and have Uncle Cornelius sue you
for breach of contract.
- Uncle Cornelius.
- What? So you're Randolph's nephew.
Now I understand why he wanted
to get you out of his hair.
Be that as it may,
you're not honoring your contract.
My contract with your uncle
was to traverse East Africa.
- That's right.
- And we are traversing it.
I never said we would not travel further.
So here's to the good ship Jupiter.
Well, I could have sworn
I had not touched my wine.
There's plenty more, Professor.
Don't I get any chicken?
- Well, I gave you some!
- Where?
I must be getting
jungle fever. Here's a nice wing.
Great Scott!
A stowaway!
- Hi.
- Where'd you come from?
Oh, Makia hide up there, then hide here.
Why'd you do such a silly thing?
Pasha O'Shay, he save me.
Pasha O'Shay, he own me now.
- No?
- No.
Where you go, me go.
I don't want her.
Well, give her away.
Yeah, that's a good idea.
- You take her, Jacko.
- Not me.
- I pass to the general.
- Oh, good heavens, no.
Lady Vining would never approve.
She's yours, Professor.
You flatter me, General.
No one wish me?
- Me go back to Zanzibar.
- Stop that girl.
Hey, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
You can't go anywhere.
You'll never get past the first lion.
Then me stay.
All own me now. Me eat.
Well, it seems we have no alternative.
All the way across Africa without
a chaperone? It's most irregular.
That is not a rhinoceros
either, General.
Our table seems to attract
the strangest guests.
It certainly does, General.
All right, African expert,
what would you say those drums mean?
I never heard 'em in Khartoum.
I'd wager it's some sort of a message.
A brilliant deduction, General.
Remarkable animal.
By Jove, a simian sot.
Go on. Pour yourself some coffee.
Here, here. Like this.
There you go.
How's that?
- Coffee?
- Please.
What's the matter?
Couldn't you sleep?
Drums bad. Maybe we better
go back to Zanzibar.
You afraid, little one?
Evil out there.
Things crawl, bite, gobble up Makia.
You protect me, no?
Just a moment.
Come here, you.
Now, I want you
to get back on guard duty.
Three's a crowd, even in the jungle.
Yeah, come on. Let's go. Come on.
You were saying?
You maybe buy Makia,
keep her for your very own.
- Buy?
- Mm-hmm.
People just don't buy each other.
It's not civilized.
How then you get woman?
Well, when two people love
each other, they just get married.
How you make that- get married?
Well, you just buy a license...
go to a preacher...
and he legally makes you man and wife.
How much cost this license?
- Oh, just a few shillings. That's all.
- Ah.
What does "ah" mean?
Oh, in Zanzibar, girl like me
cost many English pounds.
In London, you buy girl legal
for just few shillings.
Only difference I see-
Must be plenty girls there
to buy them for so cheap.
- You don't understand.
- Oh, I do.
Civilized ways is to make laws so you
men buy women for almost for nothing.
- Cast off, Jacques!
- No! No! Stay on the ground where it's safe!
The general's right!
Head for the storm cellar!
Our only chance
is to ride it out.
On the ground there,
we'll be torn to bits.
- Fergusson, you fool, you!
- Jacques, the controls!
Can you fix it, Jacques?
The broken plug
won't hold much longer.
- We must land.
- That should make you happy, General.
Mal de mer runs in my family.
In his family too?
We must find a place to land.
That's a good idea if we can
get through this boiled cabbage.
Please, don't mention food.
Open space ahead!
Hey, that's a pretty big city.
Aye, a town that size,
we must've been blown south.
Unless I'm out of my wits,
this must be Hezak.
Better dress up a bit.
Natives are always impressed by a uniform.
Come along.
Put away your gun, lad.
As long as they're afraid
of the balloon, we might be safe.
I'm counting on it.
A situation like this
calls for very careful handling.
General, I bow to your experience.
You'd better take over.
Oh, of course. My good man,
we have a leaky balloon.
- You mean that you don't
understand the language?
Oh, good heavens, no. All natives
should learn the queen's English.
General, I don't know
what I'd do without your help.
- Moon god.
- What's a moon god?
What's the fellow saying?
They believe our balloon is the moon,
and the moon god is paying a visit.
- Moon god? Me, of course.
- No. O'Shay.
They believe you're the moon god's
slave with the three eyes.
Slave? Ha!
What impertinence.
Me moon god?
Why me moon god?
Why? Because you're
redheaded and handsome...
at least to their uncivilized eyes.
- Thank you.
- If I'm a slave, what are you?
I'm the moon god's medicine man...
- and their sick sultan's in need of my ministrations.
- Oh.
What'd you tell the fellow?
I said that we'd go along.
Jacques! First aid kit.
- Yes, sir.
- And the moon god's slave will carry that.
- And make that repair fast.
- Yes, sir.
Slave indeed. What will they say
at the Cavalry Club?
Probably "piffle."
What if-What if the sultan dies?
Well, you'll never make it
back to the moon, lad.
Aye, he's sick.
A severe attack of pompyitis.
- Pompy-what-is?
- Pompy's a powerful native drink.
He's looped. He's fried to the gills.
Any black coffee around?
We've got something
more stimulating. Slave, ammonia.
- Slave, ammonia.
- Play your part, man. Can't you grovel a bit?
- Can't you grovel a bit?
- Prepare to run if this doesn't work.
The sultan's a god here.
Keep your fingers crossed, laddies.
He's telling the sultan who we are.
He's calling for more wine
and a feast to boot.
- This will last for hours.
- He'll never make it to the dessert.
Ah, you were quite right, laddie.
He'll not make it.
It's a dance in your honor.
Sort of challenge.
Oh, how nice.
Well, carry on, my loyal subjects!
I accept your homage.
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Wait a minute! Break it up!
Take your hands off the moon god! Hey!
Hey! Hey, wait a minute!
What-What are you doing?
Hey, hey! Wait a minute, fellas! Whoa!
Whoa! Whoa! Fergusson!
Keep still, man!
They challenge your courage.
Move, and you're a pin cushion.
I- I thought I was a moon god!
Aye, and a punctured one
if you don't bide still.
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Easy! Easy! I'm ticklish!
Easy with those toad stickers!
Easy, now. That's nice.
Hey! Easy. Professor!
Whoa! Oh, I missed one!
Huh? What? Boys! Whoa!
Hey! W-Watch that!
Take your-Whoa!
That fella's dead drunk again.
Aye, dead's the word.
It's time we were toddling.
- I don't want to be a moon god.
- Ah, steady, lad. Steady.
It's your turn to be
a moon god, General.
Watch your tongue, sir.
He's calling for Ahmed the slaver.
Get away from me,
or I'll kill you! I swear it!
Help me! Help me!
You belong to the sultan!
Go to him.
I won't! I won't!
Wait a minute.
What's going on here?
- That's terribly bad form, sir.
- Be quiet, both of you!
Look here, lassie.
Leave this to us.
And you'd better watch your step.
You're in the presence of the moon god.
Moon god? Oh, pardon me.
How come the moon god speaks English?
Never mind that.
She's leaving with us right now.
- No.
- Try and stop us. You're talkin' to the moon god!
What's that? Since when
are two moons in the sky?
What's the toper saying?
- That we're fakes and the jig is up.
- Oh.
Whoops. Go!
Are you all right, lass?
Boy, what a close call.
And who's to blame, sir?
You, sir.
- Me, sir?
- Moon god indeed. Ha!
- Slave. Ha!
- Take care of her, lass.
Watch out!
- Oh, look who's here.
- Throw him overboard!
No, that's not our way.
But what do we do with him now?
Not quite so violent, sir.
Water! What are you
trying to do- poison me?
Poison too good for you.
Throw him to jackals!
No, he is our prisoner of war
and must be taken back to stand trial.
- What have you got there?
- Nice medals, huh?
British campaign medals?
Professor, look at these.
China, India.
Where did you steal these from?
What? I don't steal!
I'm an honest slave trader.
Oh, uh, little things,
they come my way once in a while.
- Like this? Diamonds?
- Oh.
- Great Scott! Look at these.
- Search him.
Yes, go on. Search him. Search him.
These must be worth millions.
You stole these from the sultan.
Allah gives.
Allah takes away.
He certainly does.
I confiscate this booty.
It goes to the British Crown.
Uh-uh, not all of it. International law
states we get 50 percent as finder's fee.
That is correct.
I'll hold it for safekeeping.
- What's happening?
- Come on down, miss.
- Here, take these, Jacques.
- Yes, sir.
Don't be alarmed, miss.
He's our prisoner now.
Sit here, young lady.
There. Right there.
- Thank you.
- This is Mr. Donald O'Shay.
- Of the Randolph Press, ma'am.
- My young friend Jacques.
- Ma'am.
- Makia you know.
- She's been very kind.
- Sir Henry Vining.
Military commander
of the expedition.
- How do you do?
- How do you do?
And I'm Samuel Fergusson of Scotland.
How do you do?
I'm Susan Gale from Virginia.
I was teaching at the Dodoma Mission
when, uh, he raided us.
Business is business.
It's a vicious business-
brutal and inhuman.
Aye. That's why we're
headed for the Volta River.
The Volta? Oh, but you'll never make it.
- Oh, we will, miss.
- Please believe me, I know.
I've lived in Africa
for over six years.
We must. We're racing
a band of slavers.
If we plant our flag first, we'll prevent
the area from falling into their clutches.
Why, I can hardly believe it.
You mean someone's
finally taking action?
Well, not all of us.
It seems that Mr. O'Shay here is
indifferent to the suffering of others-
unless it happens to be a bonny
young lass like you or Makia here.
Now, just a minute.
When I said the slave trade's no concern
of the newspaper or my assignment-
Trafficking in human lives
is everybody's concern.
Either your for it or against it.
I'm for it.
Miss Gale, you missed my point entirely.
Can you interpret the message
of those drums, miss?
Yes. They-
They say, " White demons...
"are riding across the sky.
Catch them."
And they also say...
"Kill them and burn them."
You'll make a juicy dish.
English roast.
You like pretty dress?
She real lady now.
- You mean the chimp or me?
- Oh, both.
Well, lass, you look bonny
in Mr. O'Shay's hand-me-downs.
I never looked as good
as that in those clothes.
Positively indecent.
In those clothes
I couldn't even give her away.
- Where are we now, Professor?
- Right here.
Most of our journey
is still before us.
And where would the slavers be?
I'd say crossing the mountains
of Kong, traveling slowly.
And I'd say proceeding
down the Niger, traveling fast.
Good day, Susan.
Good day, Mr. O'Shay.
Hop to it, everybody.
We've a long day of flying ahead of us.
Gather food and fuel first,
then we'll be on our way.
What about breakfast?
Don't you see I'm fading away?
You look terrible.
You'll never make it to prison.
- Very funny.
- The ladies will gather fruit.
Some of us will chop wood,
and someone will stand guard.
As for the slave trader, he will work
for his breakfast like everyone else.
Hand him an ax.
I've just lost my appetite.
- And what will you do, General?
- Reconnoiter, of course.
When on a military mission,
always reconnoiter.
Of course. How foolish of me
not to have known.
Come along, Jacques.
You too, Ahmed.
Working makes me nervous.
Pencil, please.
Thank you.
- Oh, Miss Gale?
- Yes?
May I talk to you for a moment?
What about?
I don't know.
I'm a boy. You're a girl.
There must be something
we can talk about.
Like what, Mr. O'Shay?
Like first, my name is Donald.
Secondly, you've been avoiding me
ever since you came aboard the balloon-
which isn't easy,
considering how small it is.
- Just because we had a little misunderstanding-
- "Little" misunderstanding?
Mr. O'Shay, I'm sorry we don't
share the same views about slavery.
Since I feel so strongly on the subject...
I'm afraid we have nothing to talk about.
Now, Miss Gale, you've got me all wrong.
I mean, just because
I said the slave trade...
was no concern of my uncle's newspapers-
- Coming, lassie?
- Coming, Professor.
Please excuse me.
Of course.
Young man? Young man?
Stand guard.
This is dangerous country,
teeming with, uh, danger.
It shoots from this end.
- This end?
- That is correct.
Hmm. What'll they think of next?
Come on, young woman.
Come along.
Hup, two, three, four.
Hup, two-
Hup, left, right.
Oh, lovely.
Hup, two, three, four. Hup, two.
Hup, left, right-
Can't you keep in step?
Come along.
Hup, two, three, four.
Come along.
Hup, two, three, four.
- Hup, two. Hup, left, right-
- You mean to Pasha Donald.
Him good man, but you not
treat him good.
Your pasha thinks only of himself.
Oh, not so.
Pasha have big heart.
Him save you from slavery.
Save me too.
He saved you? How?
Oh, in Zanzibar him fight, risk life.
Hit slaver over head.
Pasha not like slavery.
Pasha like you.
Well, perhaps I was too severe.
Help! Help!
There's a lion loose.
Professor! Jacques!
Help! Help!
Help! Hey!
Nice pussycat. You don't wanna eat me.
I-I'm too scrawny.
I'm skinny.
No meat. Help!
No! No, no, pussycat.
No. Shh. Go away. Go away.
Nice pussycat.
Help! Professor! Jacques!
Yeah. Thanks a lot, fellas.
Th-That was a l-lion. A lion.
Well, thanks anyway, but, uh-
You guys speak English? Huh?
Sprechen sie Deutsch?
Parlez-vous franais?
Can you get me out of here?
That's it. That's it.
Thanks a lot.
Thank you. Thank you.
You don't know how
uncomfortable it's been up in there.
My name is Donald O'Shay.
I'm happy to meet you all.
- Jacques!
- Professor.
- Professor.
- Help!
Run for your lives.
Hurry. Hurry.
Natives. Full pressure, Jacques.
Stand by to take her up.
Take the balloon up.
Let's go! Come on.
Up-Take it up, Professor, fast.
- General, don't shoot.
- Get it up!
Down, everybody.
Mr. O'Shay, as military
commander of the expedition...
I state flatly-
One more irresponsible action,
and we'll go on without you.
- Now, look, General.
- That is definite, sir.
Well, I suppose
you share his views too.
How can I, Donald?
Look at this.
Boy, it certainly is busy down there.
You first.
Down. Hup.
Down, hup.
Down, hup.
Down, hup.
Down, hup.
Down, hup.
Down, hup.
Down, hup.
Down, hup.
Down, hup.
Down, hup.
Down, hup.
General, what's this-
a religious ritual?
Certainly not.
One must keep fit.
What, in this sun?
With this heat?
Oh, you English.
You're funny.
I cooked it myself.
- Gimme.
- You can't have any.
Donald, grab the anchor.
- Professor, do something!
- Grab it, Jacques.
Let go!
Bumbling bumbler.
- I'm terribly sorry.
- You fool! You blundering fool!
We are doomed.
Professor, do something.
I'm- I'm terribly sorry.
- You fool. You blundering fool.
- It's sabotage.
Are you in league
with the slavers?
Yes, I'm in league with the slavers.
Are you crazy?
Allah protect us
from our friends.
Look! It's caught in the tree.
- What a piece of luck.
- Heaven be praised.
How one man can get into
so much trouble, I'll never know.
Neither will I.
An excellent idea. Thank you.
Gentlemen, I-
- I'd like you to know how sorry I am for-
- Being an idiot?
Young man, you nearly wrecked
our project back in Zanzibar.
Later, because of you,
we were attacked by natives.
And finally, we were almost
marooned in the middle of Africa.
Now wait a minute. You couldn't have
dragged me along in this flying circus...
if I'd known what it was about.
Now that you do know what it's about,
do you still wish to be out?
What's the sense of wishing?
I'm trapped.
Maybe not. Have a look out there.
Ahmed? Take a look at that
caravan, will you?
Tell me where you think
it's heading for.
Oh, to the Nile.
It's a three-month journey-
if they are lucky.
And for a proper remuneration...
do you think they'd consider
taking this young man along?
Take me along?
For a diamond of this size,
you could buy the whole caravan.
Maybe you could
take me along too.
You, sir, are going
to the west coast...
to stand trial for slave trading
and kidnapping an American.
I was only asking.
Now, look, you can't slough me off
on a camel ride.
- I represent Uncle Cornelius. We're using his money.
- You are wrong, sir.
When the plans were changed...
this became a British-financed expedition.
Oh, so Uncle Cornelius
became expendable.
And so did you- except as a witness.
A witness? To what?
The planting of the flag, sir.
- So that's why you dragged me along.
- Yes.
As an American, your testimony
will carry great weight...
but we have a much less
troublesome witness- Miss Susan Gale.
So fare ye well, Mr. O'Shay.
Stand by for landing, Jacques.
Aye! It's a desert wind.
Take her up, Jacques.
Take her up.
Secure cargo.
Quick! Inside.
Everybody inside.
Come on, boy.
All right, Jacques. Keep the pressure up.
Yes, sir.
- I said everybody.
- Kismet! We are doomed.
- Professor?
- Steady as you can.
Great Scott!
Do something.
Can't you do something?
Lend me your teapot
and I'll make a cup of tea.
- What?
- Well, what exactly do you suggest, General?
Well, I-
I trust this postpones my camel ride.
Only for the moment.
At the first opportunity
we shall part company...
with great pleasure
and no regrets.
Oasis ahead!
There. Over there.
- Down there.
- Come down, lad.
Make ready to land.
Here am I
What a lucky guy
As the world goes floating by
In the open air without a care
Five weeks in a balloon
During the day
I will ride on a sunbeam
During the night
I will rest on a moonbeam
I'll be lulled to sleep No counting sheep
Five weeks in a balloon
- Here am I What a lucky guy
- What's wrong with you?
As the world goes floating by
In the open air without a care
Five weeks in a balloon
I wouldn't trade my place today
With the king of Mandalay
High and low and away we go
Five weeks in a balloon
With the wonders of nature below me
And the limitless sky up above me
I will touch the stars
and bow to Mars
Five weeks in a balloon
During the day I will
Never thought I'd welcome a sandstorm.
I guess you're stuck with me now.
For how long?
Sir Henry said it was
a reprieve, not a pardon.
Oh? Is that the way you want it?
Oh, Donald, I didn't want you to go.
I don't now.
But beating those slavers
has to come first.
You're just too big a risk.
Maybe when it's all over
we can meet again.
It's a date.
Professor. Professor, I protest.
I wasn't born to work.
I'm sorry, Ahmed.
We've a lot of catching up to do.
- But I don't like it.
- Jacques?
Yes, sir?
- Yes, sir?
- Get the heat up, Jacques. We'll be on our way.
Where would the slavers be, Professor?
Well, if I were asked
to make a guess...
I would say this jungle area here.
Speaking of dates,
would you like something to eat?
- What?
- Specialty of the house are Dates a la Sahara.
It's the only thing on the menu.
Donald, you're an idiot.
You're so right.
I don't know what they want.
I'm not a slave.
I sell them.
What are they going
to ask me to do next?
Aw, quit muttering, Ahmed.
Everyone has to do their share.
I'm not muttering.
Shh. Shh.
You don't have a chance.
Keep very quiet, O'Shay.
They don't know that you're up there.
Stay in the cabin, Jacques.
They're afraid of the balloon.
There's nothing you can do
for us now, O'Shay, so push on.
For once in your life,
do something right. Plant the flag.
Have a care, sir.
There are laws of decency.
It might be wise
to do as they say, Professor.
He says to untie us.
He's taking us to see someone.
Ah. The beggars must
have realized their error.
Probably taking us to the palace
to ask our forgiveness, eh?
- Highly unlikely.
- Why do you always argue?
I beg your pardon.
Nothing to fear.
That beggar can't hurt anyone.
Is this your idea of a palace, General?
I am a forgiving man,
but believe me...
I shall write a stinging
letter to the Times.
Yes, that'll be a great help.
Someone's coming.
- So, the white demons come to Timbuktu.
- What?
The jungle drums are
an efficient telegraph.
- I am the Sheikh Ageiba.
- Now, look here, my good man.
I trust you had a pleasant trip.
- You know about the journey?
- I know about your destination also.
The River Volta, is it not?
Jungle drums are very efficient.
Yes. They are speaking
from the west as well as the east.
The slave expedition is now
only two days from the Volta.
- Professor?
- They're ahead of their timetable.
I hardly think you'd have beaten them,
even if you'd survived.
What do you mean, sir?
We have survived.
- Merely a technicality.
- What does that mean?
It means that you are Christians- infidels.
You've dared to enter
the forbidden city of Timbuktu.
Dared? We were dragged here.
Look, sir, if you had
any regard for the law-
Being the chief magistrate of Timbuktu,
I have every regard for the law-
which is very clear, in your case.
If an unbeliever enters
the forbidden city...
he must die at sunset the same day.
- Insch'Allah. It is written.
- And what will the slavers...
pay for this service, Mr. Ageiba?
There may be some consideration...
but it hardly concerns you.
You'll be joining your ancestors
in exactly six hours.
- Not the lasses.
- The infidel, unfortunately, yes.
The little one will be sold at auction.
I myself shall be a bidder.
You, sir, are a villain.
In Timbuktu, it is safer
to be a villain than an infidel.
- Professor, do something.
- Any last requests?
Well, that's very nice of you.
I should like some hot water.
Beautiful merchandise, huh?
It's the sultan from Hezak.
What's he doing here?
It's not the sultan.
It's his cousin, Redbeard.
He's got cousins all over.
- Makia.
- Be quiet.
You want to get us killed?
That amorous piece
of elegance just offered 150.
- Why don't you offer-
- Shh!
You're rich, but you're not supposed to talk.
Say when.
He says she's a skinny chicken, but that-
- That's an old bargaining trick.
- Then we win?
Offer everything.
We-We must not seem too anxious.
We are supposed
to examine the merchandise.
Give him everything.
It wasn't that easy to steal, but-
She's ours.
Here are the horses.
Get on, quick.
Where you get horses?
- And ropes?
- We ran into some strangers and, uh...
we persuaded them
to lend us these things.
- Where are the others?
- Have they sold them yet?
- No. They are to die as infidels.
- Die? When?
At sunset, when the muezzin...
he call the evening prayer
from the minaret...
and all the faithful,
they bow toward Mecca.
- How are they to die?
- I do not know.
I'm afraid I do.
Is it now?
As soon as the holy man is finished.
It will be quick, Susan.
Be brave.
Easy. Easy. Careful.
Help me.
The anchor!
Drop the anchor.
Help me. Help me. Jacques, grab my hand.
- Let's go.
- Jump, Susan. Jump!
Jump, Donald. Jump!
Shoot, Ahmed! Shoot!
Hit him, Makia. Hit him!
Jacques, look out behind you.
Jacques, jump!
Hold fast, Jacques. Lend a hand there!
Look! We are doomed.
Into the cabin, quick.
Full pressure, Jacques.
- Get her up. Get her up.
- Take cover.
Into the cabin, everyone,
on the double.
Help me with the wood. Hurry.
Not now, Makia. Later.
- I'll help on control, Jacques, How's the pressure?
- Low, Professor.
Why can't the boy go up
and just pull that knife out?
Aye, a grand maneuver.
Pull out the knife and poof.
- " Poof'?
- Aye, poof.
- Oh.
- There's a slow leak, General.
The scimitar's wedged
in there like a plug.
Good, as long as
it doesn't unplug itself.
- Is there anything I can do?
- Haven't you done enough?
- That's the third time you've saved my life.
- Third time lucky?
Third time unlucky. I told you to do something
right for the first time in your life.
By disobeying orders, you've wrecked the
whole thing. The slaver'll get there first.
There's just no pleasing you people.
We can still win.
We have four days to go.
- Two.
- Less than two. The slavers are ahead of their timetable.
Then we've gotta risk flying at night.
Aye, that might give us a chance.
Yeah, if we don't hit a mountain.
Oh, shut up.
Take his pack.
Leave him. Move on!
There it is.
The Volta.
By George, we may beat them yet.
I don't see their flag.
She's ripping away!
Jacques! Full pressure.
We must lighten the load.
- Everything overboard.
- Yes, everything overboard.
Makia, start throwing
some of that stuff out.
- Jacques, help me.
- All right.
You feed that fire.
We're still falling.
Come in here and lend a hand.
Ahmed, go in and help Jacques.
What is it now?
I don't understand all this.
Why bother?
We are doomed anyway.
- Ahmed, come on.
- All right.
I don't like to work.
We're still losing pressure.
- You won't need this, General.
- I say!
- We're going to hit.
- Aye.
We've come to it.
Everything overboard.
Everything overboard.
- No, no! Not the diamonds.
- I said everything.
We've made it.
We've made it.
Not yet, lass.
We've gotta plant the flag.
Look! The slavers.
Why, the dirty swine.
- If they cross first, we're lost.
- Get the anchor, Jacques.
- Tie the cord on the shroud.
- Yes, sir.
- Up into the crow's nest, everybody.
- Why?
That is an order, General.
Up, everybody. Up, lassies.
- Up, everybody.
- Are you completely off your crumpet?
- Up, everybody.
- You are.
- Grab the lad, General.
- Oh!
We must destroy the bridge.
The anchor will do it.
Hook the far end. Throw it.
- Throw it.
- I'm throwing it.
Release the gondola.
Susan, watch the rock.
Help me. Help me.
Somebody help me!
Donald! Stay near me, Donald.
Have no fear, Professor.
Look out for the rocks!
Hold my hand.
We'll make it, Professor. Keep going.
Susan, don't give up.
Hey, Donald, come help me.
Save me.
I can't swim.
I'm all right. Help Susan.
Susan, hang on.
Come on, boy.
Hey! Hey, please!
Donald, Donald, help me!
I can't swim!
Donald, help me. Come here.
That man's still alive.
With their flag.
If he gets across, they've won.
Look, hold on, Ahmed.
- Donald!
- He's going over.
- It's caught.
- Allah be praised.
We are saved.
Come on.
On the double, everyone.
Hup, one, two, Professor.
Swine. Jump, Donald. Jump!
He's done it. He's done it.
The lad's done it.
Well done, O'Shay.
- I always knew I'd make it.
- What?
I mean, we'd make it.
Congratulations, O'Shay.
Excellent work.
Thank you, General.
Thank you.
Well, it looks like
I finally did something right, eh?
Oh, Donald.
Thank you for your
heartfelt sympathy.
Will you help me out?
Uh- Uh, here you are, O'Shay.
Here you are.
Take my hand.
No, thanks, General.
This is one campaign I'm plotting all by myself.
I-I hate to spoil things, Professor...
but how are we
going to get out of here?
There's your answer, Ahmed.
We ride the river to the coast.
London, here I come.
What happen to Makia now?
Don't worry.
I have very definite plans for you.
Like four shillings for a license?
I wouldn't dream of paying more.
Well, General, it's been
a rough five weeks...
but I'm sure you'll agree
it's been worthwhile.
Professor, I was wrong.
Your balloon was certainly no toy...
and I'm sure Her Majesty will be
most gratified at our success.
Thank you, General.
Pity about the teapot.
So come with me and you will see
why I'm happy as can be
And you'll be too
when you've been through
Five weeks in a balloon
And you'll be too
when you've been through
Five weeks in a balloon