FM (1978) Movie Script
Hurry the bottle, Mama,
it's grapefruit wine
Kick off your high-heel sneakers,
it's party time
The girls don't seem to care
what's on
As long as they play till dawn
Nothin' but blues and Elvis
And somebody else's favorite song
Give her some funked up muzak,
she treats you nice
Feed her some hungry reggae,
she'll love you twice
The girls don't seem to care tonight
As long as the mood is right
- No static at all
- No static, no static at all
FM, no static at all...
Give her some funked up muzak,
she treats you nice
Feed her some hungry reggae,
she'll love you twice
The girls don't seem to care tonight
As long as the mood is right
- No static at all
- No static, no static at all
FM, no static at all...
- 'Hello?'
- Mornin', Dugan. What's happening?
- It's that time, baby.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whaddya got?
Next tune is all you got, and it'll be over
at 6:01 and I'm gonna be gone.
- Come on, man, be reasonable.
- 'Reasonable?'
If I was reasonable,
do you think I'd be working
from midnight to 6:00 a.m.
six days a week?
'I may be crazy, baby,
but I ain't reasonable.
- 'You oughta know that, you hired me!'
- OK.
Give me a minute to get to my car.
Diggin' the sounds?
Cos coming up next, if he makes it,
our esteemed leader Jeff Dugan to be
dug in for another day on QSKY-LA.
So till tomorrow,
this is the Prince of Darkness.
What it is.
Surely make you lose your mind
Life in the fast lane, yeah
Life in the fast lane
Life in the fast lane
Life in the fast lane...
Good morning, Los Angeles.
It's great to be a winner,
and aren't we all?
At 6:01 this Monday morning,
it's 72 degrees going to 88.
This is Jeff Dugan dug in
for another week of music
that's gonna keep you high
on the uncommercial sound of Q-S-K-Y.
QSKY, where we never
come down to earth.
More sounds.
Phew!
- QSKY!
- 'Hi. Dugan?'
Yeah?
'Alright. Would you play
Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Free Bird"?'
- You got it, honey.
- 'When?'
Well, I'm in a winning mood.
How about right now?
'Hey, Dugan, I really like you guys.'
- What's your name?
- 'Isabelle.'
Hey, Isabelle, we like you, too.
Hey, Prince,
did you finally get laid last night?
Four times? Bullshit. One time.
Macho, macho, macho.
Is that all you guys got to rap about?
- Hey, little Mama, what it is!
- What it is, Mama, is rock 'n' roll.
- Alright, music meeting time!
- Morning.
Leave the pot, Alice,
I think we may need it.
OK.
- Did I say good morning?
- Mmm-hmm.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
Good.
OK, I got some good news
and I got some bad. What do you want?
Drugs!
- That's the bad news, we don't have any.
- Oh...
- What's the good news?
- Some's on the way.
Hey, alright!
That's it? That's the meeting?
Shit, I'm going home...
Sit down.
Son of a...
- Bobby, go give this to Doc.
- OK.
It's a new release. I was gonna play it
myself. I'll give it to Doc, what the hell?
- That's a nice move, man. Thank you.
- That's very nice.
Let's get this major piece
of heaviness out of the way.
Albert Driscoll, vice president
of Billings Corporation...
The name sounds familiar because
you've seen it on your check every week...
He's sending us a Regis Lamar.
What's a Regis Lamar?
A Regis Lamar is a brand-new
flunky sales manager.
Driscoll's sending him here
to turn our ratings into dollars.
Oh, man, not again?
Give the dude a ride through Bel Air.
Buy him a nice dinner.
And get him so stoned
he thinks he got laid.
And send him home first class.
Alright, look... I don't think
we take it so lightly this time.
The guy's got heavy credentials.
He's also got big corporations,
government, and I hear the army.
- The what?
- You heard it, the army.
Driscoll's sending the dude here
to get these big accounts
to put spots on our station.
Hell, Dugan.
We've spent years trying to beat them.
Now they wanna join us?
If we let them get away with one,
they'll start shoving them at us.
They'll start overselling,
over-commercializing,
till they drive our goddamn station
into the ground.
What do they care about our audience?
What do they care about music?
All they care about is money.
We gonna let them do this to us?
- No way!
- OK! Case closed!
- Let's get onto some good news!
- The dope is here.
- Are you kidding me?
- The dope ain't here.
But what is here is a Linda Ronstadt
concert that's happening.
No way! Carlyle and KLAX
have got that locked up.
- Oh, they do, huh?
- They do. They are sponsoring it.
Well, I got a little idea
about how we can steal that concert
right from under Carlyle
and broadcast it live.
KLAX is gonna sponsor it
and we're gonna broadcast it?
- That is pisser. That is pisser.
- That's a pisser.
Not only that, we're gonna do it
without them ever knowing about it.
Shit!
Listen, Dugan, if you do pull off
that Ronstadt thing, I got dibs on MC!
- I asked you first!
- You got it, man!
Time keeps on slipping,
slipping, slipping
Into the future...
Doc, what the hell is
the matter with you today?
We all get a little nuts before
the ratings come out, but this is crazy.
Hi, everybody, it's old Doc coming at you
at SKY Radio. I'll be back in a minute.
Hey, Jeff?
How about you and I having
a couple of drinks after work?
- We ain't done that in a long time.
- You got a date, cowboy.
'...lab technicians
with a few hours to spare each...'
Jesus!
Uh-huh, not me, baby.
It is both carts gone.
Well, get on the horn, tell everybody
that the next hour is commercial-free.
Just music.
A present from the friendly folks
at QSKY.
That's just like you, Dugan,
making chicken salad out of chicken shit.
Just keep 'em happy.
Bobby...
- I assume you heard that noise.
- Yeah. But they're all the same.
German, Japanese... they're all kaka!
If you'd just let me rebuild
what we already have,
they'll be better
than anything you can buy.
You're the boss, OK, do it your way.
Jeff... do you have a minute
to listen to something?
Yeah, sure.
'Hey, there, this is Bobby Douglas
on QSKY-FM, the ultimate in LA radio.
'We're gonna get down.
That's right, get down.
'We're gonna blow your mind,
jangle your nerves,
'and re-arrange your entire, ever-loving...'
Bobby... you gotta talk
to your audience
like you're talking to a friend,
like you're talking to me.
Cut out the smooth polished crap.
I mean, give them good, honest feelings.
If they wanted smooth and polished,
they'd listen to muzak,
or 99% of the other stations.
- You know what I mean?
- Yeah. Sure.
Don't stop trying.
Clippers...
Hello, my little darlings,
this is Mother talking to you.
Mother with whom it all began.
I held you close, I tucked you in,
I took you all the way back home.
Now I am saying, rock-a-bye-babies,
the Prince is due up next with another...
fabulous payday champagne celebration
from SKY Radio, 711 FM, Los Angeles.
- Night moves
- Night moves
- QSKY.
- 'Hello, is this Mother?'
That's right. What can I do for you?
'I can tell from your voice
that you understand pain.
- 'I love you because...'
- Yeah, I'll give you pain.
Son of a bitch, I'll give you so much pain.
Come out in the open!
I'll give you so much pain
till your eyeballs fall out.
That what you want, huh?
- That what you want?
- 'Listen...'
- Hey...
- What?
- Good evening, Mama!
- Evening, Prince.
Hey, how you doin'?
Well, just 68 degrees,
mild and cloudy and bored to shit!
Other than that, I'm just pissed to hell.
Well, now that's what I like to hear.
Nothing like people with problems,
you know?
- Helps to make the world go round.
- Oh, yeah...
Is that Mother?
Those friends of yours?
A couple of stereo assistants
who so charitably agreed to give
the Prince a hand with the show tonight.
- Just a hand, huh?
- Hmm...
You're slipping, Prince.
Prince, is that Mother?
Say, where you gonna go?
Girl, where you gonna hide?
You go on leaving out your heart,
and all it's saying deep inside...
Oh!
Ah!
- Hi.
- Oh...
Can I help you?
- Mr. Lamar from Chicago.
- Oh.
Oh, Mr. Lamar!
Mr. Driscoll said you'd be arriving
later in the week.
- I got away earlier.
- Oh... Mr. Dugan isn't here.
He was on the air this morning.
He's out having breakfast.
It appears that everyone's out.
- I beg your pardon.
- Nothing.
I'll just look around by myself
till he gets back, OK?
Oh, of course.
Hello?
Hello! Is Dugan there?
Hot! This is...
Hot! This is Bobby Douglas
on QSKY-FM where we...
This is Bobby Douglas on QSKY-FM
where we never come down to earth.
This is Bobby Douglas on QSKY-FM,
the sound of the south where we...
I was just practicing.
They say the echo is
very similar to earphones.
When you're on live.
This is Bobby Douglas...
Oh, God!
This is Bobby Douglas on QSKY-FM
where we never come down to earth.
This is Bobby Douglas on QSKY-FM
where we never come down to earth.
This is Bobby Douglas on QSKY-FM,
the sound of the south,
where we never come down to earth.
Isn't it time we returned
to real feelings, to love?
Think about that.
Think about the idea of love.
Get the hell outta here!
Jesus.
Come... let's search for love together,
let the music be our guide.
This is Eric Swan,
and I am settled in time on QSKY,
the last radio show.
What the hell are you doing in here?
I'm Regis Lamar from Chicago.
Look, pal, I don't give a shit
if you're the Messiah from Jerusalem
come here to make my life perfect!
Nobody... walks in this booth
when I am making my art!
Nobody!
Sorry.
Jesus Christ!
Jesus Christ...
- God...
- Cathy.
God, that was close.
Good thing I'm, er... creative.
...when you should be at your desk,
you're gonna be out on your tushy.
Hey, hey, peace, love and harmony, huh?
Oh!
- Mr. Dugan.
- Yeah.
Regis Lamar. Glad to meet you.
Good.
- "Good"?
- Yeah. It's good you're glad to meet me.
Most of the people
from the Chicago office aren't.
Oh, on the contrary,
from what Albert Driscoll says about you,
you're the, er... Messiah,
come to make life perfect for all of us
here at Billings Radio Division.
Where have I heard that?
Oh, excuse me.
Eric, sweetheart, how are you?
I've been trying to get ahold of you
for two weeks.
Are you still my agent?
I was down in Palm Springs,
I had to talk to the ex-wife. What a pain!
I tried to call you. What's the problem?
The problem, Jack, is a gameshow.
That's the problem.
You wanna MC something
like "Blind Date" or "King Of The Hill"?
You want me to throw you
into any show that comes along?
- Jack...
- Ain't you gonna introduce me?
Jack, you know what I want.
You just gotta be patient.
You gotta take it easy.
- These things take time.
- Can I have some quiet, please?
Hi, this is Eric Swan.
If love hasn't found you yet,
relax... these things take time.
Jack, what do you mean,
"relax, these things take time"?
Tammy, let's go.
You've had enough coke.
You like music?
Well, to tell you the truth,
I can take it or leave it.
Look, I'm putting on
a Save The Whales concert tonight.
Why don't you come? It's Jimmy Buffett.
Great, I love buffets.
What are they serving?
Regis, I think you and I are gonna
get along fine. Come on.
You got your Tony Lamas on,
your jeans pressed tight
Take a few tokes,
make you feel alright
Rockin' and a-rollin'
on a Livingston Saturday night
Pickup's washed and you just got paid
With any luck at all,
you might even get laid
Cos they're picking and a-kicking
on a Livingston Saturday night
Oh, you gotta listen to the sound
of the hot country band
Boogie heels a-scuffling
on the dance floor sand
Hum a song, play some pong,
shoot a little pool
Hitting on the honeys
right out of high school
Fifteen may get you twenty,
that's alright
That's alright
Cos they'll be rockin' and a-rollin'
on a Livingston Saturday night...
Alright, Timmy, let's go!
Terrific concert! What a music town!
Dugan, what a sensational
concert this is.
I never expected such class from you.
I gotta tell you, in a couple of weeks
I'm having my own concert: Linda Ronstadt.
And if you can afford a tuxedo,
you're invited. Who's your buddy there?
Regis Lamar,
our new sales manager.
Michael J. Carlyle, general manager
of KLAX, our esteemed competition.
Oh, listen to the sound
of a hot country band
Boogie heels a-shuffling
on the dance floor sand
Hum a song, play some pong,
eat a deviled egg
Temperature is rising,
better pop another keg
Fifteen may get you twenty,
that's alright
- That's alright
- Yeah!
They'll be rockin' and a-rollin'
on a Livingston Saturday night...
Alright, Fingers, let's go!
Come by my radio station and see
how it's done someday. Later, Dugan!
- Nice fella.
- Yeah, smooth as baby shit!
- Do all these people listen to our station?
- It's the tits, huh?
I'm gonna take QSKY and make it the first
$5-million grosser on the West Coast.
Every account in the country!
Wall-to-wall commercials!
Too bad we can't get rid of the music
completely, huh?
You gotta listen to the sound
of a hot country band
Boogie heels a-shuffling
on the dance floor sand
Hum a song, play some pong,
shoot a little pool
Hitting on the honeys
right out of high school... I'm no fool!
Fifteen may get you twenty,
that's alright
That's alright
Oh, we'll be a-rockin' and a-rollin'
on a Livingston Saturday night
That's what I say now
Oh, we'll be a-rockin' and a-rollin'
on a Livingston Saturday night
And one more time
We'll be rockin' and a-rollin'
on a Livingston Saturday night...
- Jimmy!
- How you doin', man?
- You were great, baby.
- Thank you very much, our pleasure.
I got something for you there.
OK, alright, I gotta run. Alright!
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Alright!
Once again, thank you for helping us
with this benefit to save the whales,
and a special thanks to my friend Jeff Dugan
from QSKYwho sponsored the whole thing!
Phew! That's.50-caliber material.
Yes, sir, Regis, old buddy,
I have a feeling
this relationship between you and I
is gonna turn out to be
the most important thing in the world.
It's gonna do us a heck of a lot of good.
A heck of a lot of good.
I couldn't agree with you more, Bill.
And I'm sure Jeff will feel the same way.
Right!
Yes, I know.
It's 10:00, Monday morning, at CBS.
The producer's name is, er... Schuler.
The name of the show is
"The Tunnel Of Love",
and it's gonna be perfect for me.
I don't need you there. I'm a professional,
Jack, I know how these things go.
OK, I'm cool, I know it all.
And I'll call you right after.
Cross your fingers. Me, too.
OK. Bye-bye.
OK...
- Hi.
- Hi...
I'm Dolores.
Dolores Deluxe.
- Uh-huh...
- Uh-huh!
You know I never did get your picture.
My picture?
You know, you send me yours,
and, er... I'll send you mine.
Well... well... I...
we, er... ran out of p...
ran out of pictures.
- I brought you another.
- Really?
- In case you didn't get mine.
- Good.
Oh, boy. For me? To keep?
Thank... thank you.
- This is great.
- Hmm...
- Of you?
- Oh, yes.
Oh...
Oh? Wh... white nipples?
- Exciting, aren't they?
- Uh-huh.
- White nipples.
- A-ha!
- White nipples
- No, er...
Bet you've never seen
white nipples before, have you?
Right here.
- No, no, you don't... This is, er... fine.
- That's OK.
- Like 'em?
- It's just, er... like the picture.
Just like the picture.
What? What? What?
Wha...?
- What the hell is that?
- I think I have a very good idea.
Eric, sweetheart, we don't know
what you're doing in there,
but whatever it is, it's going out
to the whole world.
Your mike's on, you jerk...
And trouble's on the way!
It's locked! It's locked!
Yeah, it's locked.
I'll have to go get my keys.
- I've got a key.
- Oh!
Oh...
What you're, er...
just listening to is, er...
kind of creative,
almost X-rated... radio here
from Eric Swan on QSKY-FM.
What I did was I, er...
mixed together a new sound-effects
record, "The Sounds of Love",
and intertwined it
with some folk music from... France.
But now back to something
a little more traditional.
Hope you enjoyed it.
- Hi. What's the matter?
- Don't "what's the matter?" me!
- I heard what's going on in here.
- What are you all doing in here?
- Hey, come on, come on! Artist at work!
- Eric!
I'm trying to create.
Out, out, out, out, out.
Cathy, before you go,
would you file this for me?
Please?
Or do you wanna take it home?
Hmm? Ha-ha!
Come on. Fans I love,
but not while I'm working, OK?
Out, out, out, out, out, OK?
Lamar Mr. Lamar, sorry.
Can you shut that after you?
You're a great guy.
OK, thank you very much.
Love your jacket, it's beautiful.
Was I good?
'Well, it's another real hot day in ol' L.A.
Already 80 degrees this morning...'
Sweet Alice, it was out of my way,
but I got you yours first.
Thank you. And these, sweet Irving,
are for you.
- Did you look?
- Alice, ratings are bullshit.
- You guys know you're the best.
- Oh, I love that boy!
Scissors.
'Next up, the old gunslinger himself,
Doc Holiday...
'...where there's "less sell, more sound".
'But first, for all you surfers,
here's the morning surf report.'
'Er... this is Lady...'
Jeff! Jeff, Jeff, Jeff! Look!
'...one to two feet,
and the shape's not very good.
'It's kind of mushy and
it doesn't look like it's gonna clear up,
'so maybe just stay inside...'
You did it.
'...this is the Coast Guard station
with a surf report.
'We got a kind of mushy,
bad shape on the waves...'
Yeah, yeah, yeah, this is QSKY,
the big one, the last radio station!
Los Angeles' radio!
We have done it
and we are gonna cook and cook
and cook and cook until it burns!
This is Jeff Dugan.
In case you think this jock's gone crazy,
you have made QSKY
the number-one station in Los Angeles,
and I just wanna thank you,
I love you.
number one, 03:00 to 07:00
top place, 07:00 to midnight!
- Son of a bitch!
- Through the damn roof!
For nine straight hours, we've got
the number-one station
in the number-two market in the country.
- Into orbit and out of sight!
- Oh, man.
I can sell this station
to anybody... everybody.
Look at those numbers.
Oh, beautiful!
We're gonna have a party.
Everybody in the office. Champagne!
Sorry I'm late, buddy.
What's the good word?
You ain't late, I left a minute early.
And the word is terrific, Doc!
How'd the old cowboy do?
I only had a chance to look
at the overall so far,
put on a raw cut
and come and party with us, OK?
- Yeah.
- OK.
Oh, we're gonna use all the glasses.
Lamar, open that.
Christina, Cathy, come on in!
Everybody party!
Yeah, Doc?
'It's Albert Driscoll from Chicago.
He wants to speak to Dugan.'
'Tell the cowboy to get his ass in here
and join the party.
- Did you hear that?
- 'Yeah, I heard.'
- 'Hello, Jeff. Are you there?
- Yeah, I'm here.
'Listen, we just saw your book.
Everyone here is thrilled.'
We're happy round here, too, Al.
'Just thrilled.
Really proud of you. Thrilled.'
How about Billings? Is he thrilled?
'Carl's been in Washington all week
taking care of government bullshit.
'As soon as I can get to him,
I'll let him know.'
Yeah.
- Whoo!
- Whoo!
- 'Regis, are you there, too?'
- Yes, Al.
'This should really boost your sales,
Regis? What are you doing about it?'
I'm working on it, Al.
I'm working on a very big deal.
'That's thrilling.
Keep me posted, Regis.
'Dugan, you and Regis
getting along OK?'
- Yeah, fine, Al, just fine.
- 'Good, good.
'I thought the two of you
would work well together.
'Take care of yourself, Jeff.
You're too valuable to lose.
- 'So long.'
- Yeah, so long, Al.
- Alright, how about a toast?
- Good idea.
To profits and the quality they bring.
To quality and the profits it brings.
I'll drink to that.
Doc, can we talk?
Yeah, go ahead.
How do want me to say it? The book?
The numbers aren't there.
Come on, you know how it is.
One day, they're with you...
...the next, they're someplace else.
Well, it looks like for me
they took a permanent move.
It's a shitty business.
Sometimes it's real shitty.
Yeah, OK, Dugan.
Now, what's the bottom line, Dugan?
Where's things at?
I want Laura there full-time.
And, er...
What do I do, sell Chevys on TV?
Work a disco?
Do a record hop, huh?
Remember me,
I'm the one who loves you...
Ronnie White called the other day.
Just coincidence, Doc.
He wanted to offer you a full-time job.
A.M.?
A.M. ain't where I'm at.
You can have the weekends,
if you want.
Throw in part-time here and there.
You can stay with us that way,
if you want.
Remember me, I'm the one...
Get outta here, Dugie. Go on.
' With QSKY, get so high
' You'll never come down to earth
At QSKY... "
For those of you who never knew,
for those of you who've never forgotten,
for those of you
who really don't give a sh... damn,
this is Laura Coe for Doc Holiday
on QSKY Radio.
Back from an extended vacation,
a perfectly divine holiday...
Well, Doc still knows
this business better than most.
He'd make a damn good general manager
at some smaller station.
Yeah, right. Well, let me know
if you hear of anything. Thanks.
Jeff, I'd like you to meet
Lieutenant Reach.
Hi, Jeff. It's a pleasure to meet you.
Just call me Bill.
I'm sorry I didn't get to meet you
the other day.
Charlie...
Can I get you a drink or something?
Hell, Jeff, old boy, I brought something
real special for you.
Do you mind
if I close that door over there?
Well, I've only said no to the army once,
that's when they wanted me.
Oh, that's a good one.
Charlie, get the drapes.
Excuse me, Regis.
That there is a hell of a view, Jeff.
A hell of a view.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir, this here stuff is genuine,
three-star personal stock
of the General himself, flown straight
from Southeast Asia to the Pentagon,
with only one little ol' stop in between.
Mmm... Mmm...
You know...
a lot of the big guys at the brass
figure this is the reason that we invaded
that damn country in the first place.
Mmm...
Of course, a lot of the other boys figure
that this is why we lost the damn war.
Hell, I guess there's two sides to just
about everything, know what I mean, Jeff?
These just came for you.
- Thank you, Alice. That's very nice...
- No, Laura, I had nothing to do with it.
Jeff did it.
He must've ordered them himself.
Doesn't he manage to do
just the right thing
just at the unexpected moment?
What we decided to do
was to get together
a group of marketing specialists...
...and to package us
a bunch of commercials.
You know, the kind of stuff...
...that would appeal...
to the cream of the crop.
The young ones, the late teens,
the early twenties!
- Well, you know what we're after.
- Oh, yeah.
Jeff, I guarantee
you are going to love this.
Regis?
It's terrific.
Yeah! Yeah!
- ...I gotta try and make it
- Excuse me! Ha!
Oh, when was the last time you said that?
When was the last time?
- That could be a hit.
- In the army...
- I like that one.
- 'If you enlist in the army...'
I think you should release it as a single.
- Oh, yeah.
- That's brotherhood goodness...
An army are a team,
moving forward as one...
There's another one there.
One more time,
I'm gonna grow my hair
One more time,
I'll grow it down to there
One more time,
because I'm going in the army
And I'm gonna find a way
to do everything one more time...
Oh, God, I love it!
Oh, oh... Jeff, Jeff...
Jeff, the reason we selected your station
to do the advertising in the first place
is because of old Regis here.
Regis... he guaranteed us
that you had the kind of audience
that we were interested in.
It's terrific, huh?
I, er...
I think...
I think those spots are damn unique.
That's what I think.
Could you sign something very special
for this young lady? Thank you.
Thank you!
Hey, I'll tell you something, if you guys
don't score tonight, turn your pens in!
- No problem!
- Who taught you how to write anyway?
But, er... I'm not a disc jockey,
you know. I'm nobody.
Oh, OK.
Alright, ain't that a hot old tune, huh?
Kind of makes you wanna take your
sweetie closer and boogie all night long,
so let's get on down.
We don't wanna stop now,
we don't wanna lose the mood.
We're gonna keep 'em coming,
fast and steady and back to back.
From Tower Records, this is Mother
on QSKY-FM Los Angeles.
Mother! Mother!
Mother, over here!
Excuse me.
- Did you get hers?
- Excuse me.
- OK, guys, that's it. Bye.
- Wait a second, where you going?
Er... I have a dinner date.
A dinner date? With who?
I thought we were gonna keep it
professional not personal.
- Yeah, but, er...
- But what?
But, er... I'd like to change that.
You would?
OK, we'll talk about it tomorrow. Bye.
Jeff! You hired Laura back, huh?
Outta sight!
Listen, Dugan,
I really can't understand you.
I send you a cut of "American Slang"
a week before anybody else
and you haven't played it once.
Who you kidding? You been sneaking
that piece of crap to every station in town.
- Come on, Jeff...
- Come on, Izzy!
- Go eat it, will you?
- Funny!
I got an appointment with Lt. Reach
tomorrow and I need your decision.
- Tell him I'm thinking about it.
- You're thinking about it?
You're thinking...?
That account's worth $125,000.
Maybe a hell of a lot more
to the rest of Billings.
Bobby, I don't want you
practicing the news in the toilet anymore.
So from now on,
the jocks don't do the news, you do.
- Really?
- Yeah, really.
Every day,
morning, noon and night, live.
God, thanks, Jeff. Thanks a lot.
- Whoo! You earned it.
- That's great.
Hi, Regis.
I plan to talk to Reach about a package,
putting those spots
on all ten of our stations.
What do you think?
Thrilling, Regis.
Maggie?
- Maggie?
- Hey, Dugan. How you doin', good-lookin'?
- Haven't seen you in a long time.
- I know. You look terrific!
- Let's break this up.
- Oh, yeah...
Dugan, have you made
the down-payment on your tux yet?
Because if you don't have that tux,
you can't get into my concert.
Just think about it.
Little Maggie has made this all possible.
Linda Ronstadt, live in concert!
It's gonna be a biggie, Dugan,
and you're not gonna wanna miss it.
Wow, Mr. Carlyle, this is a surprise!
Can I have a minute of your time...?
- I wanna talk to you about that concert.
- What concert?
Linda Ronstadt.
You mean the one
that Carlyle's putting on?
That's exactly
what I wanna talk to you about.
- I'm sorry, I don't drink.
- How about dinner?
- I'm sorry I...
- Don't eat?
Regis, look, er...
See, I make it a practice
not to involve myself socially
with anybody in this business.
Things just stay friendlier that way,
you know what I mean.
I guess so.
Well...
That's what makes you
different from the others.
Would you close my door, please?
- You really want it that bad, huh?
- Yeah, I want it that bad.
Now, isn't that just so, so hot?
Yeah, this is Mother telling you,
if you find it,
or you got it,
then you just better keep it.
Now, what d'you think about that, hmm?
Regis... I've racked my brains
over this one,
and I just don't see how
those army spots fit on our station.
But there is a way,
if we produce the copy ourselves.
Let our jocks cut it.
I think it can work.
I mean, dig the Prince...
"Hey, brother, what's happening?
"Now, what's the most important thing
in your life?
"A foxy lady.
"Well, how you gonna get one?
"With a nice new shiny uniform,
you strut your stuff, man!
"It's what it is."
Or... Mother:
"Hi. This is Mother talking to you.
"Tucking you in,
making you feel so warm and cozy.
"You wanna make your Mother happy?
"Join the army."
- What do you think?
- Terrific.
- What about the schedule?
- Huh...
Well, I don't see how we can put
those spots on twice an hour, prime time,
and not sound like
we're owned by the army.
Hmm... Reach would never go for it,
not without the schedule.
And I wouldn't blame him.
You're right, Regis. We'll have to let
the army go somewhere else.
Huh?
We don't need 'em.
We don't need Reach.
Listen... Listen to that sound, huh?
We got the best damn station there is.
- That's not the point.
- What did you say?
- That's not the point!
- Well, what is?
Profits.
- We make money.
- Not enough.
- Not enough for who? For you?
- The company!
Screw the company!
I promised them a station not a bank.
This deal's too big to pass up.
I'll go all the way to Driscoll if I have to.
Then you better get going.
'Stay tuned to QSKY,
my little darlings,
'cos Mother's got a big surprise for you.'
- And for Michael J. Carlyle.
- Attaboy!
If we don't hurry up,
he's gonna be welcoming us.
Don't worry about a thing,
my little pigeon, it's all taken care of.
Oh...
Driver, would you do me a favor
and try to pick it up just a little bit?
- I'd like to get there tonight.
- Of course, Mr. Carlyle.
- Hey, Frank, how you doin'?
- Fine, just fine, Dugan.
- They're expecting you.
- Whoo! Look at you! Alright!
- Look at this.
- This is it!
- Hey, Frank, this is Shari. Shari, Frank.
- Hi, Shari.
He's gonna tell you everything
you need to know, OK, babe?
Listen, Frank, I want you to know
I appreciate this a lot, OK?
- Yeah. Thanks, Dugan.
- OK, have a good night.
Whoo!
Your change, sir.
- How did the audition go?
- Great. I was absolutely incredible.
- I'll bet you were.
- Eric's gonna be the next Johnny Carson.
Or maybe the first Eric Swan!
Boy, look at you!
Swan Lake in person.
- This is a concert, not a bar mitzvah.
- Ha! You know Jack.
- How you doin'?
- This is Laura.
Listen, I gotta see you soon.
Don't get lost.
- Nice going.
- You never told me...
- And what are you gonna do...
- Hey, man, how are you?
- ...if it backfires, my dear?
- Hey, nothing's gonna backfire.
- Hey, Tino, how's it going?
- Check everything's alright with her.
- Dugan, I gotta talk to you.
- Ah, yeah, sure. You know each other?
- I think so.
- Linda tied up?
- Yeah, she's in with the press.
- I'll catch her in intermission.
- I gotta make sure everything's OK.
- OK. I'll be over here.
- Hi!
- Hey, darling.
- Jeff, how do I look?
- You look beautiful. Tonight, make it good.
- Gonna make it cosmic!
- Alright.
- But is my make-up...?
- Ask Laura, she knows.
Listen, don't worry about Carlyle, OK?
Ooh, am I taking care of Carlyle!
I've never seen anything like this.
The guy's gotta put gas
in the goddamn limousine!
Oh, Michael, relax.
We're gonna get there on time.
Really we are.
Oh, your diamond
just snagged my nylons.
Oh!
It's hard to leave
when you can't find the door...
Excuse me, Laura!
Laura, Laura, Laura, Laura... I need you.
- Is this natural make-up?
- Oh, it's so natural...
Cathy, tell me, do you have
any interest in showbusiness?
- As a matter of fact, I'm very...
- Jack, keep an eye on Cathy for me?
- Oh, sure, Eric.
- It's star time and I'm just a little...
Yes, it's me! They recognize me.
How much make-up can I have on?
Mother, are you ready?
Yeah, we'll be ready in
about 10, 15 seconds.
Yeah, OK.
Can you hold on a second?
- Yeah, Jeff?
- How's it going, man?
I dunno, 10, 15 seconds, alright?
- Signal's perfect.
- Alright, let's get going.
Thanks, man.
Alright, guys, come on.
House lights down.
- We're ready whenever you are.
- OK. We're ready.
And house lights out, please.
Come on, house lights.
House lights out.
Come on, house lights... Thank you.
Where's this guy to start the show at?
What? Oh, shit!
Look, it's a white suit, man!
What is going on?
- This is it. This is it, right?
- Here?
You're a star. Take it.
Do it, do it!
Take it or leave it!
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
My name is Eric Swan!
Come on, Eric Swan, do it.
Er... please welcome one
of the most wonderful performers
in this or any other... year in music.
Please welcome Linda Ronstadt!
People try to rape me,
always think I'm crazy
Make me burn the candle right down
Baby, I can't stay
I don't need your jewels in my crown
Now all you women
are low-down gamblers
Cheatin' like I don't know how
Baby, I'm going crazy
There's fever in the funk house now
Well, this low-down bitchin'
got my poor feet a-itchin'
Can't you see
the deuce is still wild?
Baby, I can't stay
You got to roll, roll, roll me
And call me the tumblin' dice
Always in a hurry,
never stop to worry
Can't see the time passin' by
Honey, got no money
I'm sixes and sevens and nines
Well, now, hey now, baby,
I'm the rank outsider
You can be my partner in crime
Baby, get it straight
You got to roll, roll, roll me
And call me the tumblin' dice
I say, my, my, my,
I'm the lone crap shooter
Playin' the field every night
Baby, get it straight
You got to roll, roll, roll me
Call me the tumblin' dice
You got to roll me
Baby, got to roll me
Baby, got to roll me
Whoa, baby, got to roll me
Baby, baby, got to roll me
Whoa, baby, got to roll me
Baby, baby, got to roll me
Yeah, baby, got to roll me...
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
- Good evening, Mr. Carlyle.
- Frank, has it started yet?
Almost. Come on, you gotta get outta there.
We're all backed up this way.
Shari, this is Mr. Carlyle.
I want you to take him the back way
so he can avoid all this crap.
Come on, come on, let's go.
Go ahead, we'll follow.
Good idea, Frank. Thanks for the help.
Oh... Thanks a lot.
There's a spot over there. Move it!
- Let's open this machine wide open...
- Where do I sit?
Just sit here, would you? Come on.
Sit in, sit in, and shut up!
Alright, all your speed.
Poor poor pitiful me
Oh, these boys won't let me be
Lord, have mercy on me
Woe, woe is me...
Oh, Mikey, look.
Isn't this where they put the pucks?
Come on, would you?
Well, I met a boy in the Vieux Carr
Down in Yokohama
He picked me up
and he threw me down
He said,
"Please don't hurt me, Mama"
Poor poor pitiful me
Oh, these boys won't let me be
Lord, have mercy on me
Woe, woe is me
Poor poor poor me
Poor poor pitiful me
Poor poor poor me
Poor poor pitiful me
Poor poor poor me
Poor poor pitiful me...
Oh, sure, I know that way.
Wait a minute, wait a minute!
Where are you taking us now?
That's it, I'm not going any further!
You've taken me on a wild-goose chase
on the night of my own concert!
That's it, kid!
Come on, what are you doing now?
- My feet are hurting me.
- Put your shoe on!
Thank you.
I'd like to thank...
I'd like to thank Jeff Dugan
and QSKY Radio
for broadcasting this concert live.
Love me tender
Love me true
Take me to your heart
For it's there that I belong
And we'll never part
Love me tender
Love me true
All my dreams fulfilled
For, my darling, I love you
And I always will
Love me tender
Love me long
Tell me you are mine
For it's there that I belong
Till the end of time
Love me tender
Love me true
All my dreams fulfilled
For, my darling, I love you
And I always will
Love me tender
Love me true
All my dreams...
Right...
I just wanted to check.
If push comes to shove,
what do we do about Dugan?
You don't worry about Dugan.
I'll take care of him.
You just tell the army
they got a deal.
That's what I thought.
I'll get back to you.
Goodnight, Al.
' QSKY Radio,
seven come eleven
You're listening to QSKY-FM.
It's 3:00 p.m.
This is the midday news.
I'm Bobby Douglas.
The department of energy said the demand
for petroleum products is going up
far faster than usual
for this time of the year.
The department released figures comparing
the four weeks ending September 23rd
with the same period last year.
The department said the demand this year
was up six and three tenths percent,
and it said imports were up
almost ten percent.
'Today, in Lake Elsinore, California,
a man jumped from the top of...'
Hello, test. Hello, test.
Eric. Eric.
Eric Swan.
OK.
Jesus.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen
in the television audience,
and welcome to "Tunnel Of Love"
with your host Eric Swan.
Good evening, television viewers,
and welcome to "The Eric Swan Hour".
Hi... I'm Eric.
Just a short while ago, the Big Apple
City Council voted their unanimous consent
to a ballot referendum that would legalize
casino gambling in the city...
- 'Jack Rapp here.'
- Hi, Jack.
- It's Eric.
- 'Hi, Eric.'
Listen, what happened?
Come on, tell me. I'm in a great mood.
- 'Er... listen, Eric...'
- Uh-huh?
'Eric, what the hell did you do?'
What do you mean?
'Don't "what do you mean?" me!
'I mean, I got a call from Schuler himself,
the producer, remember?
'He's screaming his head off, he'll never
give me another drop of business
'as long as I send someone
like you around.
'Are you trying to ruin me?'
- Jack, I don't understand, er
- 'Don't understand what?'
I don't understand
what you're trying to, er... tell me...
- 'Well, you listen.'
- ...or say.
'I have never been
so embarrassed in my life.
'Now, Schuler said
you would not take direction,
'he said you kept coming up
with your own ideas,
'telling lousy jokes,
not even relating to the audience,
'walking around as if it was
the goddamn "Eric Swan Hour"!'
Jack, I was just trying... to show them
a little bit of my personality.
'Ha! According to Schuler, either you don't
have one or the one you got stinks!
'Get yourself another agent!'
This is Bobby Douglas on QSKY Radio.
That's all there is
to the mid-afternoon news.
And now more music with Eric Swan.
Um... that's...
More terrific music with Eric Swan!
You're on!
You're on the air right now!
You're on! I mean, on!
I'm done with the news! I'm finished!
It's my first broadcast!
Come on, Eric...
- Bobby, for how long?
- I dunno, a minute, two, three, five!
OK, just shush.
What you were just listening to,
ladies and gentlemen, was side one
of Marcel Marceau's new hit single.
Well, it's not a hit yet,
but we think it will be.
And don't forget, you heard it here first
on QSKY-FM.
Now back to something
a little more traditional.
This is Eric Swan.
Alright, it was very good. I mean,
it was very, very... It was brilliant!
Thank you.
- Bobby, I can only do that once.
- Yes, I know that.
- OK. And you can only do that once.
- I hope so.
- It really was good, though. It really was.
- Thank you, thank you.
Now do me a big favor.
Send Cathy in here, will you?
- OK.
- Thank you.
- Huh?
- Bobby, it's not "huh".
It's a question.
Just have Cathy come in, OK?
Well, she's not here. She left.
I thought you knew.
What do you mean?
Thought I knew what?
Well, er... she came in this morning
and, er... quit.
She said she got a better job.
With, er...
- With...
- With who?
With Jack Rapp, your agent.
We all thought you knew that.
Yeah, I knew that.
I knew that.
That's funny, er... sometimes...
...we file things, you know,
and we forget them.
- Sure.
- I knew that.
OK. Thank you.
Bobby?
Yeah?
Erm...
Where's Dugan?
Well, he went out to lunch with Alice.
It's her birthday.
Laura and I are going over there now.
That's great. OK... OK.
- Eric?
- Yeah.
Are you alright?
No, I'm fine.
Thanks, kid.
Oh, you know those D.J. tapes you did?
I'm giving them to Alice.
Laura, you know Eric doesn't know
anything about Cathy and Rapp.
- Is he alright?
- Well, he seemed a little strange.
Do you hear that?
It's not what you think it is.
It's a human heart. A very happy sound.
You hear this?
- 'It's an empty heart.'
- See, it's just creative radio, Booby.
It's a little strange for creative radio.
Well, look, if it'll make you feel better,
go get Dugan.
- You want me to take him off the air?
- Dugan makes that decision.
I'll stand here,
keep an eye on Swan...
- And I'll go get Dugan.
- OK.
'Tell me I can love you
and you can love me, please.
'Can someone love Swan?
Someone?'
Come with me,
and this'll be our song.
'There. Nice.'
It's ours. Who are you?
Call me.
I don't know who you are.
You do.
You know who you are.
So call me. I don't know...
All I know are two things.
I need love.
And we're listening.
Please call.
'Let me love you,
and I will never leave you.
'Call me.'
I had a love once.
A lovely, lovely lady.
All I wanted was to share everything,
everything, with her.
To walk hand in hand...
down sunny streets.
'Buy her... fresh-cut flowers.'
To caress her breasts and...
'...kiss her thighs, take Polaroids.'
- Oh, God!
- 'But it wasn't meant to be.'
Not for me. Why?
Why, I ask you.
Without love,
we're like unattached planets, just...
...just drifting without meaning,
alone in the universe.
Please... 555-QSKY.
Please call.
If the lines are busy, just try again.
'I want someone. I wanna feel again.
I want love once more.'
Knock it off!
'Who's gonna walk hand in hand
with me?'
Eric! We can talk now!
'I want it... I want it...'
Oh, Jesus Christ!
- Come on!
- 'Please call me.
'I love you.
I wanna feel love once more.'
We still got a license
or has he gone too far?
- A little shaky.
- Bobby, get him off the air.
Please...
Oh, God!
Excuse me.
Hello?
Oh, bless you, Debbie, sweetie.
'You're 5' 8"?
And sixteen is a grown up.'
I agree. Yes.
You're so sweet to call, really.
Come here. I gonna go in
through the service panel.
I think you better go out there
and help Alice, OK?
'...till 2:00, but I'll be free then.'
At the end of my rainbow
I seek no golden prize
For the key to my kingdom
Is the glow in your eyes
Gaining power and riches
Are thrills I'll never miss
For the key to my kingdom
Is the thrill of your kiss
Baby, I have more
than fame and fortune
Every time I hold your hand
And my darling,
When our lips meet
All the world's at my command
Yeah, if you ever,
ever should leave me
My world would tumble down
Because you're the key
to my kingdom
And your love is my crown...
Oh, I have more
than fame and fortune
Every time I hold your hand
And my darling,
When our lips meet
All the world's at my command
Yes, yes, if you ever,
ever should leave me
All of my world would tumble down
For you're the key to my kingdom
And your love is my crown
Yeah, you're the key to my kingdom
And your love is my crown
Yeah, you're the key
to my kingdom
And your love, your love...
Well, open the door!
I just love the second cut
on the first side much better.
- Yeah, I hear that.
- It's fabulous. I owe you for this, Danny.
I know you do. I'm gonna collect.
You bet your sweet ass on that, mama.
- You son of a...
- Goodnight, Laura.
Nothing's free, is it?
Now, look, I can work this out.
Look, I'll change the schedule around.
- Look, I'll give you my spot, OK?
- No, Dugan... No, Dugan, please!
It's not just the time, it's... the life.
It's the normal life that I need.
I mean, I want some reality in my life.
I mean, not five hours a night
ego-tripping in this... this, er...
...this toy store.
It doesn't work for me anymore.
It just doesn't work.
You mean it this time. This is final.
Yeah.
Look, you got me,
you got me for two more weeks.
Just like it says in the contract.
If you wanna go...
I can't hold you with a piece of paper.
Then, I'll, er... I'll finish tonight.
Hi, guys. Look...
Oh, I'm sorry.
It's alright.
We're through.
What happened? Did she quit again?
Well, not again.
This time she means it.
She said she'd finish tonight,
and that's it.
Hey, now just like I promised you,
I'm taking you all the way back home
with a tune to make you think
about tomorrow.
Come on, Mother,
what's going on?
I'm fed up.
I'm fed up with the dirty phone calls
with the groupies.
Groupies!
With the sales managers wanting dates,
with the dopies...
It's garbage! It's all garbage!
And it's not because I can't handle it,
cos I can, I can handle it just fine!
I just don't want to, not anymore.
But you have made a name for yourself,
you're what this business is about.
- Don't you think you...?
- Laura, please! Please!
If it works for you, that's great.
I mean, bon voyage,
congratulations, all the best.
But if I don't wanna be a rock 'n' roller
all my life, don't come down on me.
I mean, just don't come down on me!
It's not all that bad, is it, huh?
No... No, it isn't.
It's just I've been at it for a long time,
a real long time,
and I still feel like I'm missing something.
That's all.
That's all I want. I want a...
I want a chance to see if it couldn't be
better for me some other way, that's all.
OK?
OK.
Now get outta here.
Let me finish my show.
...there's a song
in the heart of a woman
Set it free
Oh, set it free
Set it free...
Isn't that just so, so true?
I mean, sometimes
you just gotta... set it free.
Sometimes we just gotta take a chance.
- Hi, I'm Jeff Dugan and...
- Laura Coe.
And we're rapping down
with Tom Petty! Oh! Alright!
- How goes it?
- Pretty good.
- Nice sound.
- Thank you.
- You've been out on tour, right?
- Yeah, about six weeks now.
Um... how was the tour for you?
- Was there a good response?
- Yeah.
- Fine? Good experiences?
- Nice and sweaty, excessive tours...
Would you excuse me? You guys are
having such a good time, I'll see you later.
Well, thank you. Er...
Well, what do you say we talk
about the European tour in a little bit,
and listen to "Breakdown" from
Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers?
OK, that was good. I got it all.
Hey, Bobby Douglas. How are you?
Look, Al, when I took the job,
I said, "Understand my attitude.
"We may not have
the richest station in town,
"but we will have an audience,
a loyal audience."
That's right, you told us.
Now tell me this.
Where's the logic in taking
this station to number one
and we don't make any more profit?
I'm not against making money, Al.
But you guys, you're never satisfied.
You come in here
and you dilute the sound,
you oversell the commercial time,
you put on spots whether they fit or not,
and, in the end, you negate everything
that was good in the first place.
Your eyes give you away
Something inside you
is feeling like I do
We've said all there is to say
Baby, breakdown
Go ahead and give it to me
Breakdown, honey,
take me through the night
Breakdown, now I'm standin' here,
can't you see?
Breakdown, it's alright...
You'll run those army spots
just as they are
and in strict accordance
with the schedule they've asked for.
For the good of this company,
everybody has to bend a little.
I've bent backwards.
I'll be damned if I'm gonna bend over.
Breakdown,
go ahead and give it to me
Breakdown, honey...
'For those of you
who've just tuned in, this is Laura Coe.
'What you've been listening to
is "Breakdown",
'a cut from
Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers.
'Tom is with us in the studio,
so why don't you hang around
'and we'll be talking with him
in a minute?'
It's alright...
Yeah.
Yeah, I say put it to 'em, baby.
Up against a transmitter.
Power to the jocks.
- You understand where I'm comin' from?
- I knew you'd say that.
What it is, baby, what it is.
Later.
The Prince hopes you dug that side,
but there's a lot more comin' on.
Check it out.
I want you all to be aware
of what's involved here.
This isn't a prank.
If it doesn't work out,
it'll mean your jobs.
Probably even your careers.
As for myself...
...I can't think of anyone
I'd rather do it for.
- Oh, Alice.
- Thank you.
Well, I'm gonna get the van.
Make yourselves at home.
You know what to do.
Yep, I'm gonna call my service.
- Whoa! Hi.
- Hi.
- I thought you'd quit.
- Yeah, well...
That was yesterday
and today's today.
Thanks. Everybody's in there.
I'll be right back.
OK.
OK, guys, this is it.
- Give me your hand. Ow!
- Oh, be careful.
- Come on.
- Thank you.
- What's wrong?
- Shh! Just be quiet.
We work here, remember!
Oh, God, he's making me nervous!
'This is the Prince of Darkness
asking you to stay with us,
'because we're about to bring you
into the light.'
Lido missed the boat
that day he left the shack
But that was all he missed
and he ain't comin' back
At a tombstone bar, in a juke joint car,
he made a stop
Just long enough
to grab a handle off the top
Next stop Chi town,
Lido put the money down, let 'em roll
He said one more job ought to get it
One last shot 'fore we quit it
One for the road
Lido
Whoah-oh-oh-oh
He's for the money,
he's for the show
Lido's waitin' for the go
Lido
Whoah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
He said one more job
ought to get it
One last shot 'fore we quit it
One more for the road
Lido will be runnin',
havin' great big funnin'
Till he got the note
Sayin' toe the line or blow it,
and that was all she wrote...
Oh... we're ready. Come on
...headin' for the borderline,
goin' for broke
Sayin' one more hit
ought to do it
This joint ain't nothin' to it...
- So what do I do, I just read this?
- Prince is goona read it over the air.
- He slurs!
- You'll have your chance.
Class!
What it is, is this.
The Prince of Darkness, Mother,
Laura Coe, Bobby... and Swan,
and the entire staff of QSKY Los Angeles
are now goin' on...
Strike!
'We do not intend to stand by
and do nothing
'while our beloved boss Jeff Dugan
is fired for attempting to prevent...'
- Son of a bitch!
- '...the pollution of our air waves.
'We are goin' to stay right here
broadcasting all of your favorite sides,
'and not one minute, not one second,
of commercial pradola.
'What it is, is SKY-free radio.'
Listen, Mr. Driscoll,
we're not throwing this away!
This is no light-weight comical trip here,
we are keeping this place
until your pud falls off, if we have to!
No one respects Jeff's accomplishments
here more than I do.
But let me remind you,
I never fired him, he quit!
You made him quit!
This discussion isn't getting us
anywhere.
Where's that guy from the union?
Cirullo, come here.
Now, this is Mr. Cirullo.
He's the head of your union.
And this takeover strike, as you call it,
is absolutely illegal.
Now, not only won't they support you...
To hell with the union!
They need us more than we need them.
'To hell with the union!
No way! No way!'
'Are we doing the right thing?'
Well, I am Albert Driscoll,
and I am the executive vice-president
of Billings Industries.
- 'L-O-V-E, four letters. QSKY!'
- 'Q-S-K-Y.'
'Four letters, that's it.
We're here forever! QSKY!'
QSKY! QSKY!
QSKY! QSKY!
QSKY! QSKY! QSKY!
'Seven-eleven, right here to stay!
Alright, QSKY!
- Jeff!
- 'Jeff, come on up. It's going great!'
...we're a responsible company,
and this is a mere flap.
- So, Mr. Lamar...?
- What the hell do you want?
Mr. Lamar?
That bastard!
He's the cause of it all!
Get him down off of there!
Get him down! Shoot that son of a bitch!
- But he hasn't done anything.
- Shoot him!
Come on, Jeff!
'Thank you!
Jeff Dugan, we got him here!'
'The Carl Billings Radio Network
proudly presents...'
'...Bud Abbott and Lou Costello!'
Hello? Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, I got it.
'We're gonna stay here all night,
if we have to!'
Now, what the hell is that?
Do you understand what this means?
Those stupid idiotic jackasses
are not gonna ruin my station.
Get the plane ready. I'm going to L.A.
Buddy, you're a boy,
make a big noise
Playing in the street,
gonna be a big man someday
You got mud on your face,
you big disgrace
Kicking your can
all over the place, singin'
We will, we will rock you
We will,
we will rock you
Buddy, you're a young man,
hard man
Shouting in the street,
gonna take on the world someday
You got blood on your face,
you big disgrace
Waving your banner
all over the place
We will, we will rock you, sing it!
We will, we will...
...when I talk to you,
I want you to listen.
I don't wanna hear anything else about
Dugan. Dugan is a thing of the past.
What you have here is the cream
of the crop of the radio industry.
This lady has a voice
that's as smooth as silk. Pure sex!
- How do you do?
- This one, velvet. Velvet! Now...
Driscoll, we can't do a thing
until that court injunction arrives!
Don't worry about it,
we're gonna do it by the letter of the law.
I got a winch over there...
We will, we will rock you
We will, we will...
- QSKY.
- OK. QSKY.
- Hello? Hello?
- Yes, we're gonna be here until, er...
Hold on. A breather...
Yeah, I'd like to place
an order for some pizzas. Uh-huh.
- Yeah, gimme two pizzas...
- Two?
- Gimme four pizzas...
- Four?
- Look, gimme a dozen pizzas.
- Charge it to Albert Driscoll.
This is Albert Driscoll
of Billings Industries...
Yeah, we're gonna be here, we are here.
Whenever you want.
There's a breather on line four,
I think it's for you.
Jeff, it's your lawyer.
Hello? Where the hell have you been,
you shyster? Palm Springs?
You watch television? You better make
bail ready for about eight of us.
We want Dugan!
We want Dugan!
We want Dugan! We want Dugan!
We want Dugan! We want Dugan!
We want Dugan!
What's going on up there?
What's that?
- You want me?
- We want Dugan!
- Alright! Alright!
- Whoo!
How you doin'?
Hey, I want you to know that this station
is as much yours as it is ours!
And as long as you're here with us,
we're gonna be here with you!
Oh, yeah!
- Hey, you want the Swan?
- Yeah!
Alright, let's have the Swan!
Come on! Whoo!
- Do you want commercials?
- No!
Well, we got 'em! We got commercials!
We got automobile commercials,
bank commercials, stereo commercials!
And best of all, army commercials!
Here you go, bombs away!
Ha!
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
The lawyer... the damn lawyer's here.
Regis, come on!
It's about time you got here! That it?
That's it, gimme it! Let's go!
Let me through!
Here's your goddamn injunction.
Alright, you in the building.
We have just received a court injunction
ordering you to vacate the premises.
You have three minutes to do so.
You know, Jeffrey, we could get
our asses handed to us for this.
You know, Eric, it couldn't happen
to a nicer bunch of people.
I'm with you.
'You have two minutes
to vacate the premises!'
Anybody wants out...
...now's the time.
'OK, you people in the building,
vacate the premises!
I love you too.
I repeat, we have a court injunction
ordering you to vacate the building!
You have one minute to do so!
What do you think they'll do, Al?
Maybe you should just try and talk
to them, you know, like friends...
You have 30 seconds to vacate the...
We're coming up now, Dugan!
Now!
Come on, give us a break!
Come on, do it.
Do it!
OK, take it up.
Hi, there.
Get out of here!
Get out of here!
What's going on?
Oh, man, my picture!
- Eric, they didn't go home!
- Come on!
Wait... you're making a mistake.
Come on!
'Stop it, will you? Please!
'Please stop!
'Stop!'
Hold it!
'Hold it!'
This is crazy.
We started this because we wanted
to give you what... you wanted.
'And, er... nobody appreciates
your support more than I do, but, er...'
...getting your heads broken
over a goddamn radio station...
...just isn't worth it.
We haven't lost here, I mean...
What good's a radio station
if nobody listens to it, right?
We'll give you what you want.
And if we can't do it here...
we'll do it someplace else.
- We're coming down.
- Oh...
'No, you're not!'
- Billings...
- That's right.
Carl, we've got it all under control...
This is my station,
part of my corporation.
I call the shots here!
I admire your guts, Jeff.
And I admire the respect
that you can command
that creates this kind of loyalty.
You can keep the station
just as you want it.
I have a contract that says
I run this station.
Try and collect.
And you two, get the hell out of here,
you're fired.
I'm coming up there.
QSKY! QSKY!
QSKY! QSKY!
it's grapefruit wine
Kick off your high-heel sneakers,
it's party time
The girls don't seem to care
what's on
As long as they play till dawn
Nothin' but blues and Elvis
And somebody else's favorite song
Give her some funked up muzak,
she treats you nice
Feed her some hungry reggae,
she'll love you twice
The girls don't seem to care tonight
As long as the mood is right
- No static at all
- No static, no static at all
FM, no static at all...
Give her some funked up muzak,
she treats you nice
Feed her some hungry reggae,
she'll love you twice
The girls don't seem to care tonight
As long as the mood is right
- No static at all
- No static, no static at all
FM, no static at all...
- 'Hello?'
- Mornin', Dugan. What's happening?
- It's that time, baby.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whaddya got?
Next tune is all you got, and it'll be over
at 6:01 and I'm gonna be gone.
- Come on, man, be reasonable.
- 'Reasonable?'
If I was reasonable,
do you think I'd be working
from midnight to 6:00 a.m.
six days a week?
'I may be crazy, baby,
but I ain't reasonable.
- 'You oughta know that, you hired me!'
- OK.
Give me a minute to get to my car.
Diggin' the sounds?
Cos coming up next, if he makes it,
our esteemed leader Jeff Dugan to be
dug in for another day on QSKY-LA.
So till tomorrow,
this is the Prince of Darkness.
What it is.
Surely make you lose your mind
Life in the fast lane, yeah
Life in the fast lane
Life in the fast lane
Life in the fast lane...
Good morning, Los Angeles.
It's great to be a winner,
and aren't we all?
At 6:01 this Monday morning,
it's 72 degrees going to 88.
This is Jeff Dugan dug in
for another week of music
that's gonna keep you high
on the uncommercial sound of Q-S-K-Y.
QSKY, where we never
come down to earth.
More sounds.
Phew!
- QSKY!
- 'Hi. Dugan?'
Yeah?
'Alright. Would you play
Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Free Bird"?'
- You got it, honey.
- 'When?'
Well, I'm in a winning mood.
How about right now?
'Hey, Dugan, I really like you guys.'
- What's your name?
- 'Isabelle.'
Hey, Isabelle, we like you, too.
Hey, Prince,
did you finally get laid last night?
Four times? Bullshit. One time.
Macho, macho, macho.
Is that all you guys got to rap about?
- Hey, little Mama, what it is!
- What it is, Mama, is rock 'n' roll.
- Alright, music meeting time!
- Morning.
Leave the pot, Alice,
I think we may need it.
OK.
- Did I say good morning?
- Mmm-hmm.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
Good.
OK, I got some good news
and I got some bad. What do you want?
Drugs!
- That's the bad news, we don't have any.
- Oh...
- What's the good news?
- Some's on the way.
Hey, alright!
That's it? That's the meeting?
Shit, I'm going home...
Sit down.
Son of a...
- Bobby, go give this to Doc.
- OK.
It's a new release. I was gonna play it
myself. I'll give it to Doc, what the hell?
- That's a nice move, man. Thank you.
- That's very nice.
Let's get this major piece
of heaviness out of the way.
Albert Driscoll, vice president
of Billings Corporation...
The name sounds familiar because
you've seen it on your check every week...
He's sending us a Regis Lamar.
What's a Regis Lamar?
A Regis Lamar is a brand-new
flunky sales manager.
Driscoll's sending him here
to turn our ratings into dollars.
Oh, man, not again?
Give the dude a ride through Bel Air.
Buy him a nice dinner.
And get him so stoned
he thinks he got laid.
And send him home first class.
Alright, look... I don't think
we take it so lightly this time.
The guy's got heavy credentials.
He's also got big corporations,
government, and I hear the army.
- The what?
- You heard it, the army.
Driscoll's sending the dude here
to get these big accounts
to put spots on our station.
Hell, Dugan.
We've spent years trying to beat them.
Now they wanna join us?
If we let them get away with one,
they'll start shoving them at us.
They'll start overselling,
over-commercializing,
till they drive our goddamn station
into the ground.
What do they care about our audience?
What do they care about music?
All they care about is money.
We gonna let them do this to us?
- No way!
- OK! Case closed!
- Let's get onto some good news!
- The dope is here.
- Are you kidding me?
- The dope ain't here.
But what is here is a Linda Ronstadt
concert that's happening.
No way! Carlyle and KLAX
have got that locked up.
- Oh, they do, huh?
- They do. They are sponsoring it.
Well, I got a little idea
about how we can steal that concert
right from under Carlyle
and broadcast it live.
KLAX is gonna sponsor it
and we're gonna broadcast it?
- That is pisser. That is pisser.
- That's a pisser.
Not only that, we're gonna do it
without them ever knowing about it.
Shit!
Listen, Dugan, if you do pull off
that Ronstadt thing, I got dibs on MC!
- I asked you first!
- You got it, man!
Time keeps on slipping,
slipping, slipping
Into the future...
Doc, what the hell is
the matter with you today?
We all get a little nuts before
the ratings come out, but this is crazy.
Hi, everybody, it's old Doc coming at you
at SKY Radio. I'll be back in a minute.
Hey, Jeff?
How about you and I having
a couple of drinks after work?
- We ain't done that in a long time.
- You got a date, cowboy.
'...lab technicians
with a few hours to spare each...'
Jesus!
Uh-huh, not me, baby.
It is both carts gone.
Well, get on the horn, tell everybody
that the next hour is commercial-free.
Just music.
A present from the friendly folks
at QSKY.
That's just like you, Dugan,
making chicken salad out of chicken shit.
Just keep 'em happy.
Bobby...
- I assume you heard that noise.
- Yeah. But they're all the same.
German, Japanese... they're all kaka!
If you'd just let me rebuild
what we already have,
they'll be better
than anything you can buy.
You're the boss, OK, do it your way.
Jeff... do you have a minute
to listen to something?
Yeah, sure.
'Hey, there, this is Bobby Douglas
on QSKY-FM, the ultimate in LA radio.
'We're gonna get down.
That's right, get down.
'We're gonna blow your mind,
jangle your nerves,
'and re-arrange your entire, ever-loving...'
Bobby... you gotta talk
to your audience
like you're talking to a friend,
like you're talking to me.
Cut out the smooth polished crap.
I mean, give them good, honest feelings.
If they wanted smooth and polished,
they'd listen to muzak,
or 99% of the other stations.
- You know what I mean?
- Yeah. Sure.
Don't stop trying.
Clippers...
Hello, my little darlings,
this is Mother talking to you.
Mother with whom it all began.
I held you close, I tucked you in,
I took you all the way back home.
Now I am saying, rock-a-bye-babies,
the Prince is due up next with another...
fabulous payday champagne celebration
from SKY Radio, 711 FM, Los Angeles.
- Night moves
- Night moves
- QSKY.
- 'Hello, is this Mother?'
That's right. What can I do for you?
'I can tell from your voice
that you understand pain.
- 'I love you because...'
- Yeah, I'll give you pain.
Son of a bitch, I'll give you so much pain.
Come out in the open!
I'll give you so much pain
till your eyeballs fall out.
That what you want, huh?
- That what you want?
- 'Listen...'
- Hey...
- What?
- Good evening, Mama!
- Evening, Prince.
Hey, how you doin'?
Well, just 68 degrees,
mild and cloudy and bored to shit!
Other than that, I'm just pissed to hell.
Well, now that's what I like to hear.
Nothing like people with problems,
you know?
- Helps to make the world go round.
- Oh, yeah...
Is that Mother?
Those friends of yours?
A couple of stereo assistants
who so charitably agreed to give
the Prince a hand with the show tonight.
- Just a hand, huh?
- Hmm...
You're slipping, Prince.
Prince, is that Mother?
Say, where you gonna go?
Girl, where you gonna hide?
You go on leaving out your heart,
and all it's saying deep inside...
Oh!
Ah!
- Hi.
- Oh...
Can I help you?
- Mr. Lamar from Chicago.
- Oh.
Oh, Mr. Lamar!
Mr. Driscoll said you'd be arriving
later in the week.
- I got away earlier.
- Oh... Mr. Dugan isn't here.
He was on the air this morning.
He's out having breakfast.
It appears that everyone's out.
- I beg your pardon.
- Nothing.
I'll just look around by myself
till he gets back, OK?
Oh, of course.
Hello?
Hello! Is Dugan there?
Hot! This is...
Hot! This is Bobby Douglas
on QSKY-FM where we...
This is Bobby Douglas on QSKY-FM
where we never come down to earth.
This is Bobby Douglas on QSKY-FM,
the sound of the south where we...
I was just practicing.
They say the echo is
very similar to earphones.
When you're on live.
This is Bobby Douglas...
Oh, God!
This is Bobby Douglas on QSKY-FM
where we never come down to earth.
This is Bobby Douglas on QSKY-FM
where we never come down to earth.
This is Bobby Douglas on QSKY-FM,
the sound of the south,
where we never come down to earth.
Isn't it time we returned
to real feelings, to love?
Think about that.
Think about the idea of love.
Get the hell outta here!
Jesus.
Come... let's search for love together,
let the music be our guide.
This is Eric Swan,
and I am settled in time on QSKY,
the last radio show.
What the hell are you doing in here?
I'm Regis Lamar from Chicago.
Look, pal, I don't give a shit
if you're the Messiah from Jerusalem
come here to make my life perfect!
Nobody... walks in this booth
when I am making my art!
Nobody!
Sorry.
Jesus Christ!
Jesus Christ...
- God...
- Cathy.
God, that was close.
Good thing I'm, er... creative.
...when you should be at your desk,
you're gonna be out on your tushy.
Hey, hey, peace, love and harmony, huh?
Oh!
- Mr. Dugan.
- Yeah.
Regis Lamar. Glad to meet you.
Good.
- "Good"?
- Yeah. It's good you're glad to meet me.
Most of the people
from the Chicago office aren't.
Oh, on the contrary,
from what Albert Driscoll says about you,
you're the, er... Messiah,
come to make life perfect for all of us
here at Billings Radio Division.
Where have I heard that?
Oh, excuse me.
Eric, sweetheart, how are you?
I've been trying to get ahold of you
for two weeks.
Are you still my agent?
I was down in Palm Springs,
I had to talk to the ex-wife. What a pain!
I tried to call you. What's the problem?
The problem, Jack, is a gameshow.
That's the problem.
You wanna MC something
like "Blind Date" or "King Of The Hill"?
You want me to throw you
into any show that comes along?
- Jack...
- Ain't you gonna introduce me?
Jack, you know what I want.
You just gotta be patient.
You gotta take it easy.
- These things take time.
- Can I have some quiet, please?
Hi, this is Eric Swan.
If love hasn't found you yet,
relax... these things take time.
Jack, what do you mean,
"relax, these things take time"?
Tammy, let's go.
You've had enough coke.
You like music?
Well, to tell you the truth,
I can take it or leave it.
Look, I'm putting on
a Save The Whales concert tonight.
Why don't you come? It's Jimmy Buffett.
Great, I love buffets.
What are they serving?
Regis, I think you and I are gonna
get along fine. Come on.
You got your Tony Lamas on,
your jeans pressed tight
Take a few tokes,
make you feel alright
Rockin' and a-rollin'
on a Livingston Saturday night
Pickup's washed and you just got paid
With any luck at all,
you might even get laid
Cos they're picking and a-kicking
on a Livingston Saturday night
Oh, you gotta listen to the sound
of the hot country band
Boogie heels a-scuffling
on the dance floor sand
Hum a song, play some pong,
shoot a little pool
Hitting on the honeys
right out of high school
Fifteen may get you twenty,
that's alright
That's alright
Cos they'll be rockin' and a-rollin'
on a Livingston Saturday night...
Alright, Timmy, let's go!
Terrific concert! What a music town!
Dugan, what a sensational
concert this is.
I never expected such class from you.
I gotta tell you, in a couple of weeks
I'm having my own concert: Linda Ronstadt.
And if you can afford a tuxedo,
you're invited. Who's your buddy there?
Regis Lamar,
our new sales manager.
Michael J. Carlyle, general manager
of KLAX, our esteemed competition.
Oh, listen to the sound
of a hot country band
Boogie heels a-shuffling
on the dance floor sand
Hum a song, play some pong,
eat a deviled egg
Temperature is rising,
better pop another keg
Fifteen may get you twenty,
that's alright
- That's alright
- Yeah!
They'll be rockin' and a-rollin'
on a Livingston Saturday night...
Alright, Fingers, let's go!
Come by my radio station and see
how it's done someday. Later, Dugan!
- Nice fella.
- Yeah, smooth as baby shit!
- Do all these people listen to our station?
- It's the tits, huh?
I'm gonna take QSKY and make it the first
$5-million grosser on the West Coast.
Every account in the country!
Wall-to-wall commercials!
Too bad we can't get rid of the music
completely, huh?
You gotta listen to the sound
of a hot country band
Boogie heels a-shuffling
on the dance floor sand
Hum a song, play some pong,
shoot a little pool
Hitting on the honeys
right out of high school... I'm no fool!
Fifteen may get you twenty,
that's alright
That's alright
Oh, we'll be a-rockin' and a-rollin'
on a Livingston Saturday night
That's what I say now
Oh, we'll be a-rockin' and a-rollin'
on a Livingston Saturday night
And one more time
We'll be rockin' and a-rollin'
on a Livingston Saturday night...
- Jimmy!
- How you doin', man?
- You were great, baby.
- Thank you very much, our pleasure.
I got something for you there.
OK, alright, I gotta run. Alright!
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Alright!
Once again, thank you for helping us
with this benefit to save the whales,
and a special thanks to my friend Jeff Dugan
from QSKYwho sponsored the whole thing!
Phew! That's.50-caliber material.
Yes, sir, Regis, old buddy,
I have a feeling
this relationship between you and I
is gonna turn out to be
the most important thing in the world.
It's gonna do us a heck of a lot of good.
A heck of a lot of good.
I couldn't agree with you more, Bill.
And I'm sure Jeff will feel the same way.
Right!
Yes, I know.
It's 10:00, Monday morning, at CBS.
The producer's name is, er... Schuler.
The name of the show is
"The Tunnel Of Love",
and it's gonna be perfect for me.
I don't need you there. I'm a professional,
Jack, I know how these things go.
OK, I'm cool, I know it all.
And I'll call you right after.
Cross your fingers. Me, too.
OK. Bye-bye.
OK...
- Hi.
- Hi...
I'm Dolores.
Dolores Deluxe.
- Uh-huh...
- Uh-huh!
You know I never did get your picture.
My picture?
You know, you send me yours,
and, er... I'll send you mine.
Well... well... I...
we, er... ran out of p...
ran out of pictures.
- I brought you another.
- Really?
- In case you didn't get mine.
- Good.
Oh, boy. For me? To keep?
Thank... thank you.
- This is great.
- Hmm...
- Of you?
- Oh, yes.
Oh...
Oh? Wh... white nipples?
- Exciting, aren't they?
- Uh-huh.
- White nipples.
- A-ha!
- White nipples
- No, er...
Bet you've never seen
white nipples before, have you?
Right here.
- No, no, you don't... This is, er... fine.
- That's OK.
- Like 'em?
- It's just, er... like the picture.
Just like the picture.
What? What? What?
Wha...?
- What the hell is that?
- I think I have a very good idea.
Eric, sweetheart, we don't know
what you're doing in there,
but whatever it is, it's going out
to the whole world.
Your mike's on, you jerk...
And trouble's on the way!
It's locked! It's locked!
Yeah, it's locked.
I'll have to go get my keys.
- I've got a key.
- Oh!
Oh...
What you're, er...
just listening to is, er...
kind of creative,
almost X-rated... radio here
from Eric Swan on QSKY-FM.
What I did was I, er...
mixed together a new sound-effects
record, "The Sounds of Love",
and intertwined it
with some folk music from... France.
But now back to something
a little more traditional.
Hope you enjoyed it.
- Hi. What's the matter?
- Don't "what's the matter?" me!
- I heard what's going on in here.
- What are you all doing in here?
- Hey, come on, come on! Artist at work!
- Eric!
I'm trying to create.
Out, out, out, out, out.
Cathy, before you go,
would you file this for me?
Please?
Or do you wanna take it home?
Hmm? Ha-ha!
Come on. Fans I love,
but not while I'm working, OK?
Out, out, out, out, out, OK?
Lamar Mr. Lamar, sorry.
Can you shut that after you?
You're a great guy.
OK, thank you very much.
Love your jacket, it's beautiful.
Was I good?
'Well, it's another real hot day in ol' L.A.
Already 80 degrees this morning...'
Sweet Alice, it was out of my way,
but I got you yours first.
Thank you. And these, sweet Irving,
are for you.
- Did you look?
- Alice, ratings are bullshit.
- You guys know you're the best.
- Oh, I love that boy!
Scissors.
'Next up, the old gunslinger himself,
Doc Holiday...
'...where there's "less sell, more sound".
'But first, for all you surfers,
here's the morning surf report.'
'Er... this is Lady...'
Jeff! Jeff, Jeff, Jeff! Look!
'...one to two feet,
and the shape's not very good.
'It's kind of mushy and
it doesn't look like it's gonna clear up,
'so maybe just stay inside...'
You did it.
'...this is the Coast Guard station
with a surf report.
'We got a kind of mushy,
bad shape on the waves...'
Yeah, yeah, yeah, this is QSKY,
the big one, the last radio station!
Los Angeles' radio!
We have done it
and we are gonna cook and cook
and cook and cook until it burns!
This is Jeff Dugan.
In case you think this jock's gone crazy,
you have made QSKY
the number-one station in Los Angeles,
and I just wanna thank you,
I love you.
number one, 03:00 to 07:00
top place, 07:00 to midnight!
- Son of a bitch!
- Through the damn roof!
For nine straight hours, we've got
the number-one station
in the number-two market in the country.
- Into orbit and out of sight!
- Oh, man.
I can sell this station
to anybody... everybody.
Look at those numbers.
Oh, beautiful!
We're gonna have a party.
Everybody in the office. Champagne!
Sorry I'm late, buddy.
What's the good word?
You ain't late, I left a minute early.
And the word is terrific, Doc!
How'd the old cowboy do?
I only had a chance to look
at the overall so far,
put on a raw cut
and come and party with us, OK?
- Yeah.
- OK.
Oh, we're gonna use all the glasses.
Lamar, open that.
Christina, Cathy, come on in!
Everybody party!
Yeah, Doc?
'It's Albert Driscoll from Chicago.
He wants to speak to Dugan.'
'Tell the cowboy to get his ass in here
and join the party.
- Did you hear that?
- 'Yeah, I heard.'
- 'Hello, Jeff. Are you there?
- Yeah, I'm here.
'Listen, we just saw your book.
Everyone here is thrilled.'
We're happy round here, too, Al.
'Just thrilled.
Really proud of you. Thrilled.'
How about Billings? Is he thrilled?
'Carl's been in Washington all week
taking care of government bullshit.
'As soon as I can get to him,
I'll let him know.'
Yeah.
- Whoo!
- Whoo!
- 'Regis, are you there, too?'
- Yes, Al.
'This should really boost your sales,
Regis? What are you doing about it?'
I'm working on it, Al.
I'm working on a very big deal.
'That's thrilling.
Keep me posted, Regis.
'Dugan, you and Regis
getting along OK?'
- Yeah, fine, Al, just fine.
- 'Good, good.
'I thought the two of you
would work well together.
'Take care of yourself, Jeff.
You're too valuable to lose.
- 'So long.'
- Yeah, so long, Al.
- Alright, how about a toast?
- Good idea.
To profits and the quality they bring.
To quality and the profits it brings.
I'll drink to that.
Doc, can we talk?
Yeah, go ahead.
How do want me to say it? The book?
The numbers aren't there.
Come on, you know how it is.
One day, they're with you...
...the next, they're someplace else.
Well, it looks like for me
they took a permanent move.
It's a shitty business.
Sometimes it's real shitty.
Yeah, OK, Dugan.
Now, what's the bottom line, Dugan?
Where's things at?
I want Laura there full-time.
And, er...
What do I do, sell Chevys on TV?
Work a disco?
Do a record hop, huh?
Remember me,
I'm the one who loves you...
Ronnie White called the other day.
Just coincidence, Doc.
He wanted to offer you a full-time job.
A.M.?
A.M. ain't where I'm at.
You can have the weekends,
if you want.
Throw in part-time here and there.
You can stay with us that way,
if you want.
Remember me, I'm the one...
Get outta here, Dugie. Go on.
' With QSKY, get so high
' You'll never come down to earth
At QSKY... "
For those of you who never knew,
for those of you who've never forgotten,
for those of you
who really don't give a sh... damn,
this is Laura Coe for Doc Holiday
on QSKY Radio.
Back from an extended vacation,
a perfectly divine holiday...
Well, Doc still knows
this business better than most.
He'd make a damn good general manager
at some smaller station.
Yeah, right. Well, let me know
if you hear of anything. Thanks.
Jeff, I'd like you to meet
Lieutenant Reach.
Hi, Jeff. It's a pleasure to meet you.
Just call me Bill.
I'm sorry I didn't get to meet you
the other day.
Charlie...
Can I get you a drink or something?
Hell, Jeff, old boy, I brought something
real special for you.
Do you mind
if I close that door over there?
Well, I've only said no to the army once,
that's when they wanted me.
Oh, that's a good one.
Charlie, get the drapes.
Excuse me, Regis.
That there is a hell of a view, Jeff.
A hell of a view.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir, this here stuff is genuine,
three-star personal stock
of the General himself, flown straight
from Southeast Asia to the Pentagon,
with only one little ol' stop in between.
Mmm... Mmm...
You know...
a lot of the big guys at the brass
figure this is the reason that we invaded
that damn country in the first place.
Mmm...
Of course, a lot of the other boys figure
that this is why we lost the damn war.
Hell, I guess there's two sides to just
about everything, know what I mean, Jeff?
These just came for you.
- Thank you, Alice. That's very nice...
- No, Laura, I had nothing to do with it.
Jeff did it.
He must've ordered them himself.
Doesn't he manage to do
just the right thing
just at the unexpected moment?
What we decided to do
was to get together
a group of marketing specialists...
...and to package us
a bunch of commercials.
You know, the kind of stuff...
...that would appeal...
to the cream of the crop.
The young ones, the late teens,
the early twenties!
- Well, you know what we're after.
- Oh, yeah.
Jeff, I guarantee
you are going to love this.
Regis?
It's terrific.
Yeah! Yeah!
- ...I gotta try and make it
- Excuse me! Ha!
Oh, when was the last time you said that?
When was the last time?
- That could be a hit.
- In the army...
- I like that one.
- 'If you enlist in the army...'
I think you should release it as a single.
- Oh, yeah.
- That's brotherhood goodness...
An army are a team,
moving forward as one...
There's another one there.
One more time,
I'm gonna grow my hair
One more time,
I'll grow it down to there
One more time,
because I'm going in the army
And I'm gonna find a way
to do everything one more time...
Oh, God, I love it!
Oh, oh... Jeff, Jeff...
Jeff, the reason we selected your station
to do the advertising in the first place
is because of old Regis here.
Regis... he guaranteed us
that you had the kind of audience
that we were interested in.
It's terrific, huh?
I, er...
I think...
I think those spots are damn unique.
That's what I think.
Could you sign something very special
for this young lady? Thank you.
Thank you!
Hey, I'll tell you something, if you guys
don't score tonight, turn your pens in!
- No problem!
- Who taught you how to write anyway?
But, er... I'm not a disc jockey,
you know. I'm nobody.
Oh, OK.
Alright, ain't that a hot old tune, huh?
Kind of makes you wanna take your
sweetie closer and boogie all night long,
so let's get on down.
We don't wanna stop now,
we don't wanna lose the mood.
We're gonna keep 'em coming,
fast and steady and back to back.
From Tower Records, this is Mother
on QSKY-FM Los Angeles.
Mother! Mother!
Mother, over here!
Excuse me.
- Did you get hers?
- Excuse me.
- OK, guys, that's it. Bye.
- Wait a second, where you going?
Er... I have a dinner date.
A dinner date? With who?
I thought we were gonna keep it
professional not personal.
- Yeah, but, er...
- But what?
But, er... I'd like to change that.
You would?
OK, we'll talk about it tomorrow. Bye.
Jeff! You hired Laura back, huh?
Outta sight!
Listen, Dugan,
I really can't understand you.
I send you a cut of "American Slang"
a week before anybody else
and you haven't played it once.
Who you kidding? You been sneaking
that piece of crap to every station in town.
- Come on, Jeff...
- Come on, Izzy!
- Go eat it, will you?
- Funny!
I got an appointment with Lt. Reach
tomorrow and I need your decision.
- Tell him I'm thinking about it.
- You're thinking about it?
You're thinking...?
That account's worth $125,000.
Maybe a hell of a lot more
to the rest of Billings.
Bobby, I don't want you
practicing the news in the toilet anymore.
So from now on,
the jocks don't do the news, you do.
- Really?
- Yeah, really.
Every day,
morning, noon and night, live.
God, thanks, Jeff. Thanks a lot.
- Whoo! You earned it.
- That's great.
Hi, Regis.
I plan to talk to Reach about a package,
putting those spots
on all ten of our stations.
What do you think?
Thrilling, Regis.
Maggie?
- Maggie?
- Hey, Dugan. How you doin', good-lookin'?
- Haven't seen you in a long time.
- I know. You look terrific!
- Let's break this up.
- Oh, yeah...
Dugan, have you made
the down-payment on your tux yet?
Because if you don't have that tux,
you can't get into my concert.
Just think about it.
Little Maggie has made this all possible.
Linda Ronstadt, live in concert!
It's gonna be a biggie, Dugan,
and you're not gonna wanna miss it.
Wow, Mr. Carlyle, this is a surprise!
Can I have a minute of your time...?
- I wanna talk to you about that concert.
- What concert?
Linda Ronstadt.
You mean the one
that Carlyle's putting on?
That's exactly
what I wanna talk to you about.
- I'm sorry, I don't drink.
- How about dinner?
- I'm sorry I...
- Don't eat?
Regis, look, er...
See, I make it a practice
not to involve myself socially
with anybody in this business.
Things just stay friendlier that way,
you know what I mean.
I guess so.
Well...
That's what makes you
different from the others.
Would you close my door, please?
- You really want it that bad, huh?
- Yeah, I want it that bad.
Now, isn't that just so, so hot?
Yeah, this is Mother telling you,
if you find it,
or you got it,
then you just better keep it.
Now, what d'you think about that, hmm?
Regis... I've racked my brains
over this one,
and I just don't see how
those army spots fit on our station.
But there is a way,
if we produce the copy ourselves.
Let our jocks cut it.
I think it can work.
I mean, dig the Prince...
"Hey, brother, what's happening?
"Now, what's the most important thing
in your life?
"A foxy lady.
"Well, how you gonna get one?
"With a nice new shiny uniform,
you strut your stuff, man!
"It's what it is."
Or... Mother:
"Hi. This is Mother talking to you.
"Tucking you in,
making you feel so warm and cozy.
"You wanna make your Mother happy?
"Join the army."
- What do you think?
- Terrific.
- What about the schedule?
- Huh...
Well, I don't see how we can put
those spots on twice an hour, prime time,
and not sound like
we're owned by the army.
Hmm... Reach would never go for it,
not without the schedule.
And I wouldn't blame him.
You're right, Regis. We'll have to let
the army go somewhere else.
Huh?
We don't need 'em.
We don't need Reach.
Listen... Listen to that sound, huh?
We got the best damn station there is.
- That's not the point.
- What did you say?
- That's not the point!
- Well, what is?
Profits.
- We make money.
- Not enough.
- Not enough for who? For you?
- The company!
Screw the company!
I promised them a station not a bank.
This deal's too big to pass up.
I'll go all the way to Driscoll if I have to.
Then you better get going.
'Stay tuned to QSKY,
my little darlings,
'cos Mother's got a big surprise for you.'
- And for Michael J. Carlyle.
- Attaboy!
If we don't hurry up,
he's gonna be welcoming us.
Don't worry about a thing,
my little pigeon, it's all taken care of.
Oh...
Driver, would you do me a favor
and try to pick it up just a little bit?
- I'd like to get there tonight.
- Of course, Mr. Carlyle.
- Hey, Frank, how you doin'?
- Fine, just fine, Dugan.
- They're expecting you.
- Whoo! Look at you! Alright!
- Look at this.
- This is it!
- Hey, Frank, this is Shari. Shari, Frank.
- Hi, Shari.
He's gonna tell you everything
you need to know, OK, babe?
Listen, Frank, I want you to know
I appreciate this a lot, OK?
- Yeah. Thanks, Dugan.
- OK, have a good night.
Whoo!
Your change, sir.
- How did the audition go?
- Great. I was absolutely incredible.
- I'll bet you were.
- Eric's gonna be the next Johnny Carson.
Or maybe the first Eric Swan!
Boy, look at you!
Swan Lake in person.
- This is a concert, not a bar mitzvah.
- Ha! You know Jack.
- How you doin'?
- This is Laura.
Listen, I gotta see you soon.
Don't get lost.
- Nice going.
- You never told me...
- And what are you gonna do...
- Hey, man, how are you?
- ...if it backfires, my dear?
- Hey, nothing's gonna backfire.
- Hey, Tino, how's it going?
- Check everything's alright with her.
- Dugan, I gotta talk to you.
- Ah, yeah, sure. You know each other?
- I think so.
- Linda tied up?
- Yeah, she's in with the press.
- I'll catch her in intermission.
- I gotta make sure everything's OK.
- OK. I'll be over here.
- Hi!
- Hey, darling.
- Jeff, how do I look?
- You look beautiful. Tonight, make it good.
- Gonna make it cosmic!
- Alright.
- But is my make-up...?
- Ask Laura, she knows.
Listen, don't worry about Carlyle, OK?
Ooh, am I taking care of Carlyle!
I've never seen anything like this.
The guy's gotta put gas
in the goddamn limousine!
Oh, Michael, relax.
We're gonna get there on time.
Really we are.
Oh, your diamond
just snagged my nylons.
Oh!
It's hard to leave
when you can't find the door...
Excuse me, Laura!
Laura, Laura, Laura, Laura... I need you.
- Is this natural make-up?
- Oh, it's so natural...
Cathy, tell me, do you have
any interest in showbusiness?
- As a matter of fact, I'm very...
- Jack, keep an eye on Cathy for me?
- Oh, sure, Eric.
- It's star time and I'm just a little...
Yes, it's me! They recognize me.
How much make-up can I have on?
Mother, are you ready?
Yeah, we'll be ready in
about 10, 15 seconds.
Yeah, OK.
Can you hold on a second?
- Yeah, Jeff?
- How's it going, man?
I dunno, 10, 15 seconds, alright?
- Signal's perfect.
- Alright, let's get going.
Thanks, man.
Alright, guys, come on.
House lights down.
- We're ready whenever you are.
- OK. We're ready.
And house lights out, please.
Come on, house lights.
House lights out.
Come on, house lights... Thank you.
Where's this guy to start the show at?
What? Oh, shit!
Look, it's a white suit, man!
What is going on?
- This is it. This is it, right?
- Here?
You're a star. Take it.
Do it, do it!
Take it or leave it!
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
My name is Eric Swan!
Come on, Eric Swan, do it.
Er... please welcome one
of the most wonderful performers
in this or any other... year in music.
Please welcome Linda Ronstadt!
People try to rape me,
always think I'm crazy
Make me burn the candle right down
Baby, I can't stay
I don't need your jewels in my crown
Now all you women
are low-down gamblers
Cheatin' like I don't know how
Baby, I'm going crazy
There's fever in the funk house now
Well, this low-down bitchin'
got my poor feet a-itchin'
Can't you see
the deuce is still wild?
Baby, I can't stay
You got to roll, roll, roll me
And call me the tumblin' dice
Always in a hurry,
never stop to worry
Can't see the time passin' by
Honey, got no money
I'm sixes and sevens and nines
Well, now, hey now, baby,
I'm the rank outsider
You can be my partner in crime
Baby, get it straight
You got to roll, roll, roll me
And call me the tumblin' dice
I say, my, my, my,
I'm the lone crap shooter
Playin' the field every night
Baby, get it straight
You got to roll, roll, roll me
Call me the tumblin' dice
You got to roll me
Baby, got to roll me
Baby, got to roll me
Whoa, baby, got to roll me
Baby, baby, got to roll me
Whoa, baby, got to roll me
Baby, baby, got to roll me
Yeah, baby, got to roll me...
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
- Good evening, Mr. Carlyle.
- Frank, has it started yet?
Almost. Come on, you gotta get outta there.
We're all backed up this way.
Shari, this is Mr. Carlyle.
I want you to take him the back way
so he can avoid all this crap.
Come on, come on, let's go.
Go ahead, we'll follow.
Good idea, Frank. Thanks for the help.
Oh... Thanks a lot.
There's a spot over there. Move it!
- Let's open this machine wide open...
- Where do I sit?
Just sit here, would you? Come on.
Sit in, sit in, and shut up!
Alright, all your speed.
Poor poor pitiful me
Oh, these boys won't let me be
Lord, have mercy on me
Woe, woe is me...
Oh, Mikey, look.
Isn't this where they put the pucks?
Come on, would you?
Well, I met a boy in the Vieux Carr
Down in Yokohama
He picked me up
and he threw me down
He said,
"Please don't hurt me, Mama"
Poor poor pitiful me
Oh, these boys won't let me be
Lord, have mercy on me
Woe, woe is me
Poor poor poor me
Poor poor pitiful me
Poor poor poor me
Poor poor pitiful me
Poor poor poor me
Poor poor pitiful me...
Oh, sure, I know that way.
Wait a minute, wait a minute!
Where are you taking us now?
That's it, I'm not going any further!
You've taken me on a wild-goose chase
on the night of my own concert!
That's it, kid!
Come on, what are you doing now?
- My feet are hurting me.
- Put your shoe on!
Thank you.
I'd like to thank...
I'd like to thank Jeff Dugan
and QSKY Radio
for broadcasting this concert live.
Love me tender
Love me true
Take me to your heart
For it's there that I belong
And we'll never part
Love me tender
Love me true
All my dreams fulfilled
For, my darling, I love you
And I always will
Love me tender
Love me long
Tell me you are mine
For it's there that I belong
Till the end of time
Love me tender
Love me true
All my dreams fulfilled
For, my darling, I love you
And I always will
Love me tender
Love me true
All my dreams...
Right...
I just wanted to check.
If push comes to shove,
what do we do about Dugan?
You don't worry about Dugan.
I'll take care of him.
You just tell the army
they got a deal.
That's what I thought.
I'll get back to you.
Goodnight, Al.
' QSKY Radio,
seven come eleven
You're listening to QSKY-FM.
It's 3:00 p.m.
This is the midday news.
I'm Bobby Douglas.
The department of energy said the demand
for petroleum products is going up
far faster than usual
for this time of the year.
The department released figures comparing
the four weeks ending September 23rd
with the same period last year.
The department said the demand this year
was up six and three tenths percent,
and it said imports were up
almost ten percent.
'Today, in Lake Elsinore, California,
a man jumped from the top of...'
Hello, test. Hello, test.
Eric. Eric.
Eric Swan.
OK.
Jesus.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen
in the television audience,
and welcome to "Tunnel Of Love"
with your host Eric Swan.
Good evening, television viewers,
and welcome to "The Eric Swan Hour".
Hi... I'm Eric.
Just a short while ago, the Big Apple
City Council voted their unanimous consent
to a ballot referendum that would legalize
casino gambling in the city...
- 'Jack Rapp here.'
- Hi, Jack.
- It's Eric.
- 'Hi, Eric.'
Listen, what happened?
Come on, tell me. I'm in a great mood.
- 'Er... listen, Eric...'
- Uh-huh?
'Eric, what the hell did you do?'
What do you mean?
'Don't "what do you mean?" me!
'I mean, I got a call from Schuler himself,
the producer, remember?
'He's screaming his head off, he'll never
give me another drop of business
'as long as I send someone
like you around.
'Are you trying to ruin me?'
- Jack, I don't understand, er
- 'Don't understand what?'
I don't understand
what you're trying to, er... tell me...
- 'Well, you listen.'
- ...or say.
'I have never been
so embarrassed in my life.
'Now, Schuler said
you would not take direction,
'he said you kept coming up
with your own ideas,
'telling lousy jokes,
not even relating to the audience,
'walking around as if it was
the goddamn "Eric Swan Hour"!'
Jack, I was just trying... to show them
a little bit of my personality.
'Ha! According to Schuler, either you don't
have one or the one you got stinks!
'Get yourself another agent!'
This is Bobby Douglas on QSKY Radio.
That's all there is
to the mid-afternoon news.
And now more music with Eric Swan.
Um... that's...
More terrific music with Eric Swan!
You're on!
You're on the air right now!
You're on! I mean, on!
I'm done with the news! I'm finished!
It's my first broadcast!
Come on, Eric...
- Bobby, for how long?
- I dunno, a minute, two, three, five!
OK, just shush.
What you were just listening to,
ladies and gentlemen, was side one
of Marcel Marceau's new hit single.
Well, it's not a hit yet,
but we think it will be.
And don't forget, you heard it here first
on QSKY-FM.
Now back to something
a little more traditional.
This is Eric Swan.
Alright, it was very good. I mean,
it was very, very... It was brilliant!
Thank you.
- Bobby, I can only do that once.
- Yes, I know that.
- OK. And you can only do that once.
- I hope so.
- It really was good, though. It really was.
- Thank you, thank you.
Now do me a big favor.
Send Cathy in here, will you?
- OK.
- Thank you.
- Huh?
- Bobby, it's not "huh".
It's a question.
Just have Cathy come in, OK?
Well, she's not here. She left.
I thought you knew.
What do you mean?
Thought I knew what?
Well, er... she came in this morning
and, er... quit.
She said she got a better job.
With, er...
- With...
- With who?
With Jack Rapp, your agent.
We all thought you knew that.
Yeah, I knew that.
I knew that.
That's funny, er... sometimes...
...we file things, you know,
and we forget them.
- Sure.
- I knew that.
OK. Thank you.
Bobby?
Yeah?
Erm...
Where's Dugan?
Well, he went out to lunch with Alice.
It's her birthday.
Laura and I are going over there now.
That's great. OK... OK.
- Eric?
- Yeah.
Are you alright?
No, I'm fine.
Thanks, kid.
Oh, you know those D.J. tapes you did?
I'm giving them to Alice.
Laura, you know Eric doesn't know
anything about Cathy and Rapp.
- Is he alright?
- Well, he seemed a little strange.
Do you hear that?
It's not what you think it is.
It's a human heart. A very happy sound.
You hear this?
- 'It's an empty heart.'
- See, it's just creative radio, Booby.
It's a little strange for creative radio.
Well, look, if it'll make you feel better,
go get Dugan.
- You want me to take him off the air?
- Dugan makes that decision.
I'll stand here,
keep an eye on Swan...
- And I'll go get Dugan.
- OK.
'Tell me I can love you
and you can love me, please.
'Can someone love Swan?
Someone?'
Come with me,
and this'll be our song.
'There. Nice.'
It's ours. Who are you?
Call me.
I don't know who you are.
You do.
You know who you are.
So call me. I don't know...
All I know are two things.
I need love.
And we're listening.
Please call.
'Let me love you,
and I will never leave you.
'Call me.'
I had a love once.
A lovely, lovely lady.
All I wanted was to share everything,
everything, with her.
To walk hand in hand...
down sunny streets.
'Buy her... fresh-cut flowers.'
To caress her breasts and...
'...kiss her thighs, take Polaroids.'
- Oh, God!
- 'But it wasn't meant to be.'
Not for me. Why?
Why, I ask you.
Without love,
we're like unattached planets, just...
...just drifting without meaning,
alone in the universe.
Please... 555-QSKY.
Please call.
If the lines are busy, just try again.
'I want someone. I wanna feel again.
I want love once more.'
Knock it off!
'Who's gonna walk hand in hand
with me?'
Eric! We can talk now!
'I want it... I want it...'
Oh, Jesus Christ!
- Come on!
- 'Please call me.
'I love you.
I wanna feel love once more.'
We still got a license
or has he gone too far?
- A little shaky.
- Bobby, get him off the air.
Please...
Oh, God!
Excuse me.
Hello?
Oh, bless you, Debbie, sweetie.
'You're 5' 8"?
And sixteen is a grown up.'
I agree. Yes.
You're so sweet to call, really.
Come here. I gonna go in
through the service panel.
I think you better go out there
and help Alice, OK?
'...till 2:00, but I'll be free then.'
At the end of my rainbow
I seek no golden prize
For the key to my kingdom
Is the glow in your eyes
Gaining power and riches
Are thrills I'll never miss
For the key to my kingdom
Is the thrill of your kiss
Baby, I have more
than fame and fortune
Every time I hold your hand
And my darling,
When our lips meet
All the world's at my command
Yeah, if you ever,
ever should leave me
My world would tumble down
Because you're the key
to my kingdom
And your love is my crown...
Oh, I have more
than fame and fortune
Every time I hold your hand
And my darling,
When our lips meet
All the world's at my command
Yes, yes, if you ever,
ever should leave me
All of my world would tumble down
For you're the key to my kingdom
And your love is my crown
Yeah, you're the key to my kingdom
And your love is my crown
Yeah, you're the key
to my kingdom
And your love, your love...
Well, open the door!
I just love the second cut
on the first side much better.
- Yeah, I hear that.
- It's fabulous. I owe you for this, Danny.
I know you do. I'm gonna collect.
You bet your sweet ass on that, mama.
- You son of a...
- Goodnight, Laura.
Nothing's free, is it?
Now, look, I can work this out.
Look, I'll change the schedule around.
- Look, I'll give you my spot, OK?
- No, Dugan... No, Dugan, please!
It's not just the time, it's... the life.
It's the normal life that I need.
I mean, I want some reality in my life.
I mean, not five hours a night
ego-tripping in this... this, er...
...this toy store.
It doesn't work for me anymore.
It just doesn't work.
You mean it this time. This is final.
Yeah.
Look, you got me,
you got me for two more weeks.
Just like it says in the contract.
If you wanna go...
I can't hold you with a piece of paper.
Then, I'll, er... I'll finish tonight.
Hi, guys. Look...
Oh, I'm sorry.
It's alright.
We're through.
What happened? Did she quit again?
Well, not again.
This time she means it.
She said she'd finish tonight,
and that's it.
Hey, now just like I promised you,
I'm taking you all the way back home
with a tune to make you think
about tomorrow.
Come on, Mother,
what's going on?
I'm fed up.
I'm fed up with the dirty phone calls
with the groupies.
Groupies!
With the sales managers wanting dates,
with the dopies...
It's garbage! It's all garbage!
And it's not because I can't handle it,
cos I can, I can handle it just fine!
I just don't want to, not anymore.
But you have made a name for yourself,
you're what this business is about.
- Don't you think you...?
- Laura, please! Please!
If it works for you, that's great.
I mean, bon voyage,
congratulations, all the best.
But if I don't wanna be a rock 'n' roller
all my life, don't come down on me.
I mean, just don't come down on me!
It's not all that bad, is it, huh?
No... No, it isn't.
It's just I've been at it for a long time,
a real long time,
and I still feel like I'm missing something.
That's all.
That's all I want. I want a...
I want a chance to see if it couldn't be
better for me some other way, that's all.
OK?
OK.
Now get outta here.
Let me finish my show.
...there's a song
in the heart of a woman
Set it free
Oh, set it free
Set it free...
Isn't that just so, so true?
I mean, sometimes
you just gotta... set it free.
Sometimes we just gotta take a chance.
- Hi, I'm Jeff Dugan and...
- Laura Coe.
And we're rapping down
with Tom Petty! Oh! Alright!
- How goes it?
- Pretty good.
- Nice sound.
- Thank you.
- You've been out on tour, right?
- Yeah, about six weeks now.
Um... how was the tour for you?
- Was there a good response?
- Yeah.
- Fine? Good experiences?
- Nice and sweaty, excessive tours...
Would you excuse me? You guys are
having such a good time, I'll see you later.
Well, thank you. Er...
Well, what do you say we talk
about the European tour in a little bit,
and listen to "Breakdown" from
Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers?
OK, that was good. I got it all.
Hey, Bobby Douglas. How are you?
Look, Al, when I took the job,
I said, "Understand my attitude.
"We may not have
the richest station in town,
"but we will have an audience,
a loyal audience."
That's right, you told us.
Now tell me this.
Where's the logic in taking
this station to number one
and we don't make any more profit?
I'm not against making money, Al.
But you guys, you're never satisfied.
You come in here
and you dilute the sound,
you oversell the commercial time,
you put on spots whether they fit or not,
and, in the end, you negate everything
that was good in the first place.
Your eyes give you away
Something inside you
is feeling like I do
We've said all there is to say
Baby, breakdown
Go ahead and give it to me
Breakdown, honey,
take me through the night
Breakdown, now I'm standin' here,
can't you see?
Breakdown, it's alright...
You'll run those army spots
just as they are
and in strict accordance
with the schedule they've asked for.
For the good of this company,
everybody has to bend a little.
I've bent backwards.
I'll be damned if I'm gonna bend over.
Breakdown,
go ahead and give it to me
Breakdown, honey...
'For those of you
who've just tuned in, this is Laura Coe.
'What you've been listening to
is "Breakdown",
'a cut from
Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers.
'Tom is with us in the studio,
so why don't you hang around
'and we'll be talking with him
in a minute?'
It's alright...
Yeah.
Yeah, I say put it to 'em, baby.
Up against a transmitter.
Power to the jocks.
- You understand where I'm comin' from?
- I knew you'd say that.
What it is, baby, what it is.
Later.
The Prince hopes you dug that side,
but there's a lot more comin' on.
Check it out.
I want you all to be aware
of what's involved here.
This isn't a prank.
If it doesn't work out,
it'll mean your jobs.
Probably even your careers.
As for myself...
...I can't think of anyone
I'd rather do it for.
- Oh, Alice.
- Thank you.
Well, I'm gonna get the van.
Make yourselves at home.
You know what to do.
Yep, I'm gonna call my service.
- Whoa! Hi.
- Hi.
- I thought you'd quit.
- Yeah, well...
That was yesterday
and today's today.
Thanks. Everybody's in there.
I'll be right back.
OK.
OK, guys, this is it.
- Give me your hand. Ow!
- Oh, be careful.
- Come on.
- Thank you.
- What's wrong?
- Shh! Just be quiet.
We work here, remember!
Oh, God, he's making me nervous!
'This is the Prince of Darkness
asking you to stay with us,
'because we're about to bring you
into the light.'
Lido missed the boat
that day he left the shack
But that was all he missed
and he ain't comin' back
At a tombstone bar, in a juke joint car,
he made a stop
Just long enough
to grab a handle off the top
Next stop Chi town,
Lido put the money down, let 'em roll
He said one more job ought to get it
One last shot 'fore we quit it
One for the road
Lido
Whoah-oh-oh-oh
He's for the money,
he's for the show
Lido's waitin' for the go
Lido
Whoah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
He said one more job
ought to get it
One last shot 'fore we quit it
One more for the road
Lido will be runnin',
havin' great big funnin'
Till he got the note
Sayin' toe the line or blow it,
and that was all she wrote...
Oh... we're ready. Come on
...headin' for the borderline,
goin' for broke
Sayin' one more hit
ought to do it
This joint ain't nothin' to it...
- So what do I do, I just read this?
- Prince is goona read it over the air.
- He slurs!
- You'll have your chance.
Class!
What it is, is this.
The Prince of Darkness, Mother,
Laura Coe, Bobby... and Swan,
and the entire staff of QSKY Los Angeles
are now goin' on...
Strike!
'We do not intend to stand by
and do nothing
'while our beloved boss Jeff Dugan
is fired for attempting to prevent...'
- Son of a bitch!
- '...the pollution of our air waves.
'We are goin' to stay right here
broadcasting all of your favorite sides,
'and not one minute, not one second,
of commercial pradola.
'What it is, is SKY-free radio.'
Listen, Mr. Driscoll,
we're not throwing this away!
This is no light-weight comical trip here,
we are keeping this place
until your pud falls off, if we have to!
No one respects Jeff's accomplishments
here more than I do.
But let me remind you,
I never fired him, he quit!
You made him quit!
This discussion isn't getting us
anywhere.
Where's that guy from the union?
Cirullo, come here.
Now, this is Mr. Cirullo.
He's the head of your union.
And this takeover strike, as you call it,
is absolutely illegal.
Now, not only won't they support you...
To hell with the union!
They need us more than we need them.
'To hell with the union!
No way! No way!'
'Are we doing the right thing?'
Well, I am Albert Driscoll,
and I am the executive vice-president
of Billings Industries.
- 'L-O-V-E, four letters. QSKY!'
- 'Q-S-K-Y.'
'Four letters, that's it.
We're here forever! QSKY!'
QSKY! QSKY!
QSKY! QSKY!
QSKY! QSKY! QSKY!
'Seven-eleven, right here to stay!
Alright, QSKY!
- Jeff!
- 'Jeff, come on up. It's going great!'
...we're a responsible company,
and this is a mere flap.
- So, Mr. Lamar...?
- What the hell do you want?
Mr. Lamar?
That bastard!
He's the cause of it all!
Get him down off of there!
Get him down! Shoot that son of a bitch!
- But he hasn't done anything.
- Shoot him!
Come on, Jeff!
'Thank you!
Jeff Dugan, we got him here!'
'The Carl Billings Radio Network
proudly presents...'
'...Bud Abbott and Lou Costello!'
Hello? Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, I got it.
'We're gonna stay here all night,
if we have to!'
Now, what the hell is that?
Do you understand what this means?
Those stupid idiotic jackasses
are not gonna ruin my station.
Get the plane ready. I'm going to L.A.
Buddy, you're a boy,
make a big noise
Playing in the street,
gonna be a big man someday
You got mud on your face,
you big disgrace
Kicking your can
all over the place, singin'
We will, we will rock you
We will,
we will rock you
Buddy, you're a young man,
hard man
Shouting in the street,
gonna take on the world someday
You got blood on your face,
you big disgrace
Waving your banner
all over the place
We will, we will rock you, sing it!
We will, we will...
...when I talk to you,
I want you to listen.
I don't wanna hear anything else about
Dugan. Dugan is a thing of the past.
What you have here is the cream
of the crop of the radio industry.
This lady has a voice
that's as smooth as silk. Pure sex!
- How do you do?
- This one, velvet. Velvet! Now...
Driscoll, we can't do a thing
until that court injunction arrives!
Don't worry about it,
we're gonna do it by the letter of the law.
I got a winch over there...
We will, we will rock you
We will, we will...
- QSKY.
- OK. QSKY.
- Hello? Hello?
- Yes, we're gonna be here until, er...
Hold on. A breather...
Yeah, I'd like to place
an order for some pizzas. Uh-huh.
- Yeah, gimme two pizzas...
- Two?
- Gimme four pizzas...
- Four?
- Look, gimme a dozen pizzas.
- Charge it to Albert Driscoll.
This is Albert Driscoll
of Billings Industries...
Yeah, we're gonna be here, we are here.
Whenever you want.
There's a breather on line four,
I think it's for you.
Jeff, it's your lawyer.
Hello? Where the hell have you been,
you shyster? Palm Springs?
You watch television? You better make
bail ready for about eight of us.
We want Dugan!
We want Dugan!
We want Dugan! We want Dugan!
We want Dugan! We want Dugan!
We want Dugan!
What's going on up there?
What's that?
- You want me?
- We want Dugan!
- Alright! Alright!
- Whoo!
How you doin'?
Hey, I want you to know that this station
is as much yours as it is ours!
And as long as you're here with us,
we're gonna be here with you!
Oh, yeah!
- Hey, you want the Swan?
- Yeah!
Alright, let's have the Swan!
Come on! Whoo!
- Do you want commercials?
- No!
Well, we got 'em! We got commercials!
We got automobile commercials,
bank commercials, stereo commercials!
And best of all, army commercials!
Here you go, bombs away!
Ha!
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
The lawyer... the damn lawyer's here.
Regis, come on!
It's about time you got here! That it?
That's it, gimme it! Let's go!
Let me through!
Here's your goddamn injunction.
Alright, you in the building.
We have just received a court injunction
ordering you to vacate the premises.
You have three minutes to do so.
You know, Jeffrey, we could get
our asses handed to us for this.
You know, Eric, it couldn't happen
to a nicer bunch of people.
I'm with you.
'You have two minutes
to vacate the premises!'
Anybody wants out...
...now's the time.
'OK, you people in the building,
vacate the premises!
I love you too.
I repeat, we have a court injunction
ordering you to vacate the building!
You have one minute to do so!
What do you think they'll do, Al?
Maybe you should just try and talk
to them, you know, like friends...
You have 30 seconds to vacate the...
We're coming up now, Dugan!
Now!
Come on, give us a break!
Come on, do it.
Do it!
OK, take it up.
Hi, there.
Get out of here!
Get out of here!
What's going on?
Oh, man, my picture!
- Eric, they didn't go home!
- Come on!
Wait... you're making a mistake.
Come on!
'Stop it, will you? Please!
'Please stop!
'Stop!'
Hold it!
'Hold it!'
This is crazy.
We started this because we wanted
to give you what... you wanted.
'And, er... nobody appreciates
your support more than I do, but, er...'
...getting your heads broken
over a goddamn radio station...
...just isn't worth it.
We haven't lost here, I mean...
What good's a radio station
if nobody listens to it, right?
We'll give you what you want.
And if we can't do it here...
we'll do it someplace else.
- We're coming down.
- Oh...
'No, you're not!'
- Billings...
- That's right.
Carl, we've got it all under control...
This is my station,
part of my corporation.
I call the shots here!
I admire your guts, Jeff.
And I admire the respect
that you can command
that creates this kind of loyalty.
You can keep the station
just as you want it.
I have a contract that says
I run this station.
Try and collect.
And you two, get the hell out of here,
you're fired.
I'm coming up there.
QSKY! QSKY!
QSKY! QSKY!