Fools Rush In (1997) Movie Script
Santa. Santa.
Greetings.
There's a face I haven't seen lately.
How are you, Alex? How was Miami?
Great! We opened the doors
last Saturday.
I hope you packed your snowshoes.
J.F.K. Took me three hours.
- You in town for a while?
- No. Next stop is Tokyo.
- You guys are taking over the world.
- That's the idea.
Merry Christmas!
Whoa! Am I on the right floor?
Who are you people,
and why don't you work for a living?
- Look who's back.
- Mr. "On time and under budget"!
Long time no see.
What's with the fish?
It's a key chain. What's with the party?
Don't we still design nightclubs?
Not during the holidays.
Merry Christmas, Whitman.
Sushi?
Yo, Hemingway, hold up.
Not so fast.
I see your divorce
has left you shattered.
I finally found two women
who understand my pain.
- Listen. You don't want to go in there.
- Why? What's up?
Charlie Peters just got Tokyo.
He leaves in the morning.
- You are taking over Vegas.
- No, no. I'm supposed to get Tokyo.
You do not want Tokyo.
I don't want Tokyo?
I want Las Vegas?
Listen. Everything that's famous
about Las Vegas is about leaving it!
That movie, the song, even the mob left.
What happened to Reynolds?
Just get in there!
Look. This could get me fired.
At 10:00 this morning,
I closed a deal...
to purchase a 50,000-square-foot space
across the street from the Royalton.
If you play your cards right,
you'll come home with your sweetest gig.
The Midtown Club.
We're finally gonna do it. And guess
who will still be eating Sushi?
Charlie Peters!
We have conference rooms,
you know.
He just needed a hug, sir.
It's the holidays.
They're just so hard.
Excuse me.
I'm afraid I'm gonna need you
in Vegas.
Vegas? Did you say, Vegas?
That's my favorite city
in the world.
It's a family business.
Everybody tried to steal this guy.
- You're wasting your time.
- That's why I want him.
Great week, guys.
Thanks for the hustle.
Here are your keys. Your furniture's in.
I got you groceries.
Are you sure you wouldn't be happier
at one of the hotels?
Too many distractions.
Hot! Hot!
It's January, for Christ's sake!
Chuy, I'm not ready for marriage.
I love you,
but I don't love you like that.
So I really think
we should see other people.
What do you think?
Lose the part about seeing other people?
Yeah, I think you're right.
Yes, I'm sure! My great grandmother
said I should wait for a sign.
Remember that necklace that he got me
for Christmas? It broke.
I gotta pee. I'II tell you everything
when I get home.
Lanie, I haven't stopped since Nogales.
I gotta go. Bye.
- Excuse me. I was here.
- I think I would've noticed that.
No! You see, I was on the phone,
and the line moved.
But I couldn't move with it because
the cord wouldn't stretch that far.
I'd like to believe you,
but your nose is actually growing.
Come on. I thought
that was pretty good.
You realize
that I could die for this.
I pee really fast.
I live with five brothers,
three cousins and only one bathroom.
Believe me, I can pee faster
than anybody in the world.
Really? A gold medalist.
This I have to see.
Thank you.
I was just about to say that.
I told him to stop being a pig
in front of our new priest.
That's Father Alex to you.
I'm Isabel.
So all that on the phone,
that waiting for a sign stuff?
Is that a religious thing
or a cultural thing?
Do you always listen
to other people's conversations?
- Like to go to the end of the line?
- Why do you want to know?
It just sounded a little deep for...
It just sounded a little deep
for a Friday night. I was curious.
Religion is a very important part
of our culture...
at least in my family.
I believe that your destiny
has already been decided.
You just have to read the signs.
You don't believe that?
No. I think if a guy gets hit by a bus,
it's because he wasn't looking...
not because of some master plan.
You don't think it was fate...
you were standing in this line
when I got off the phone?
Fate? No. I think it was more
of a bladder thing.
Oh, that's too bad.
Because, you see, I happen
to think there's an explanation...
beyond reason, beyond all logic...
that brought you
right to this very spot...
at the exact same time...
that I showed up
at this very spot.
You do?
Absolutely.
And why would fate go
to all that trouble?
So that I wouldn't have
to wait in line.
Thanks.
Thank you. All right.
Bye-bye.
We got the meeting with Tracy Verna.
It's set. 5:30 at your place.
Alcoholic Beverage Commission?
- Any idea the power this woman abuses?
- Jeff, who are you talking to?
I know how important she is.
She sounded blonde.
Audibly blonde.
She's married to the County Supervisor.
Do not hit on this woman.
- I'll pick up some wine.
- Do not hit on this woman.
- I'll make it expensive.
- He's gonna hit on the woman.
Whoa. Incoming.
It's a long story.
Hi. I'm looking for Alex.
You know, he just ducked out.
Shoot! I thought I might catch him.
We've been trading calls for months now,
but he's always so busy.
Come on in. Want to leave him a note?
There's a pad on his desk.
- No, that's okay.
- Sure?
I'm Catherine Stewart.
Our families are very old friends.
- Alex, they need you on-site.
- He went to the store.
- His car's outside.
- He took a bulldozer, okay, Donna?
- He's always in three places at once.
- That is our Alex.
- Bye.
- Bye-bye.
- You've been avoiding that?
- Since third grade.
Nobody ever plans to end up in Vegas.
They just do.
Kind of sneaks up on you. But it is
the fastest-growing city in the U.S.
The economy is booming.
Business is growing.
I'm up to my neck in paperwork.
But, frankly,
it's just not a whole lot of fun.
Are you a whole lot of fun?
Jeff said we might have problems...
with our liquor license
because of new zoning?
I'll talk to the County Supervisor
for you.
If I were you, I'd pay more attention
to the A. B.C. Investigation.
They're gonna ask you
personal questions.
They'd like nothing better than
to catch you with your pants down.
Then they should definitely
be looking into Jeff...
because he actually heads up...
our "pants down" department.
Jeff, hon,
would you get us some ice?
And put some Scotch in it.
One Scotch coming up.
I'm out of Scotch.
Why don't we go out to dinner?
Quid pro quo, pal.
You give it to her,
she gives it to us.
I'll take my time.
I can't do this!
I thought...
I must have the wrong house.
No, no. Wait.
If you're looking for Alex,
he's inside.
He is?
Excuse me. Alex?
- You have a visitor.
- I do?
Oh, yeah.
- Would you excuse me?
- Well, don't be long.
You remembered.
How could I forget?
I've been looking all over for you.
I would've called you,
but you disappeared on me.
I didn't know what to do.
I never did anything like that before,
going home with someone I don't know.
Hey, you and me, both.
It was just one of those great...
phenomenal...
spontaneous things.
Yes, it was.
- How long has it been?
- Three months.
Do you mind if I have some of these?
My stomach is not so good.
Go ahead, help yourself.
Want something to drink?
I've got water.
Water's fine.
You've done a lot with this place.
Yeah, I've been kind of busy.
Wow! You look great.
Thank you.
So, how you been?
Pregnant.
Really? Pregnant.
Well, that's great. Terrific.
Congratulations.
Thank you. It's yours.
Mine?
- We were only together one night.
- That's all it took.
And I used a condom.
Lots of 'em.
One didn't work.
But that's its job.
Its job is to work.
Its entire reason for being
is to work.
Look...
I thought about this a lot.
There's really only one thing
for me to do.
Oh, thank God!
I mean, I understand.
- And I respect your decision.
- You do?
Yes. I have always believed
in a woman's right to choose.
That's good! Because I choose
to keep this baby.
And I don't want your money.
I thought the honorable thing to do...
would be to come here
and tell you in person...
that I am pregnant...
that I'm keeping this baby...
and that it's yours.
Yeah, I'm glad you...
I'm feeling awfully neglected
out there.
It's time we went to dinner.
Tracy, could you
give me a minute, please?
Sorry. I came at a bad time.
I'll go get my purse.
I'll let myself out.
- Tracy, what are you up for?
- I know the place. It's a little wild.
If you recommend it,
I'm sure it's gonna be great.
I'll catch up with you guys.
I've got a bit of a family emergency.
What are you doing?
Alex, don't!
Alex is going to meet us there.
Shit! Sorry.
Oh, my God.
Isabel, don't jump.
- What are you doing here?
- Just stay off the ledge.
I'm not gonna kill myself, stupid.
But if you come any closer,
I'll throw your ass over!
Wait a minute! You walked out on me
at 5:00 in the morning.
I never heard from you. Months later
you show up saying you're pregnant.
And I'm supposed to know
exactly what to do?
I'm sorry, but I don't know
exactly what to do.
That's the best thing
you've said all night.
Wow! This is incredible.
I love it here.
My great grandfather helped build this.
He came up from Aguascalientes
in the '30s.
Really?
Where?
Central Mexico.
My great grandmother still lives there
in a 400-year-old hacienda.
Every time I drive back from there
I make a wish at the state line...
right in the middle of the dam.
- Does it ever work?
- Depends on the wish.
My father's gonna kill me.
He doesn't know?
Nobody does except Lanie,
my roommate.
He can be a very passionate man
when it comes to his only daughter.
What can I do?
- I'll deal with it.
- No, really. I wanna help.
Maybe one thing.
Come meet them.
- Your family?
- I want them to know who you are.
So later, when they ask me
who the father is, I can say...
"You met him, remember?
I brought him home once."
Hey, no problem.
You just say when and we'll go.
When.
You have dinner with your family
once a week?
You have dinner with your family
once a week?
It's like a tradition.
Why? Don't you?
- Holidays and stuff.
- That's it?
You don't know my parents.
That's a lot.
How are we gonna do this?
Just act like we've been dating
for a few months.
Whatever you do, don't tell them
I picked you up outside a bathroom.
I thought I picked you up.
So we've been dating
for a couple of months. Who are you?
Let's see.
I am a camera girl at Caesar's.
You know, "Would you like a souvenir?"
That's how I pay the bills,
In real life, I'm a photographer.
I'm doing a book about the desert.
I have five brothers.
The oldest one is Antonio.
Then Carlos, Juan...
Miguel, Fernando,
and I am the baby.
But anybody messes with me,
I can take care of myself.
Tio Roberto is my favorite uncle.
He's married to Tia Rosa
who makes all the tamales.
She loves compliments, but you have
to talk to her on her left...
because she is stone-deaf
on her right ear.
What else? Oh, yeah. Never say
"Jesus Christ" in front of my mother.
My sister-in-law Petra and my brother
Antonio have a baby named after me.
- Any questions?
- Yes. What's your last name?
Fuentes. Isabel Fuentes.
And you're Alex...
- Whitman.
- Right.
It's nice to meet you.
Isa, hi. I was gonna get some ice.
Everyone's around back.
Who's this?
New boyfriend?
Juan, this is Alex.
Alex, this is my nosy brother Juan.
- Nice to meet you.
- Does Dad know about him?
And I wasn't going to come tonight.
Good luck!
Your father, is he a big man?
Come on.
Let's get this over with.
This is a family dinner?
I guess a lot of people
couldn't make it.
Tough room.
What is the matter with everybody?
Can't I bring a guy to dinner?
Hello, Isa.
Hi, Chuy.
Fine.
It's been a long time
since you came to one of these.
I was afraid
we'd never be friends again.
That's where we started,
isn't it?
This is Chuy.
He's a very good friend of the family.
We grew up together.
Chuy, hi. Luke Skywalker.
How are ya?
Sorry. You probably get that a lot.
Yes, he is my boyfriend.
Do you have a problem with that?
It's a pleasure to meet you.
You're a very lucky man.
There's nobody like Isa.
Nobody.
What happened to the music?
Seems like a nice enough guy.
He's gonna kill me, isn't he?
He's not the one
you should worry about. Come on.
My beautiful baby!
Who is this?
Mama, Papa...
this is Alex Whitman.
Mr. Fuentes, Mrs. Fuentes,
it's a pleasure to finally meet you.
Isabel talks about you
all the time.
That's funny.
She's never said a word about you.
Tomas, behave yourself.
I can't keep up. She's engaged, and
then she brings home a man with a tie.
I was not engaged!
Sir, that's one of my favorite things
about your daughter.
She's always full of surprises.
Come on, Alex. I think we'll be safer
in the other room.
Let me take your jacket.
You'll have to excuse my husband.
Sometimes I think he wishes Isabel
was still six years old.
When you become a father,
you'll know what that means.
- These pictures are really incredible.
- Yes.
They're Isabel's.
Haven't you ever seen her work?
Yes. Yes, I have.
It's just that
when I see her pictures...
it's like I'm looking at them
for the first time.
That must be the house in Mexico.
Yes. Aguascalientes.
And that is
Isabel's great grandmother.
They have a very special connection.
You can see it in the eyes,
that same wild spirit.
- I can handle my own love life.
- I think that runs in the family.
Since when?
This is terrific!
The taste is truly amazing!
You can't get tamales like this
in New York City! No way!
This one's Rosa.
She's beautiful.
Would you mind holding her
while I fix myself a plate?
I don't think I should.
I'm not really qual... I can't.
You can.
Hold her head.
Why? Does it come off?
You'll do fine.
How can so much stuff come out
of something so small?
Thank you for doing this.
Are you kidding?
They are great!
I had no idea that families
actually talked at dinner.
I'm glad they got to meet you.
- They're gonna hate me, aren't they?
- No. I won't let them.
Isabel, l...
Don't. You'll just make it worse.
At least let me give you a number
so you can reach me.
No. It's better this way.
No complications.
Please, just don't.
So, take care of yourself.
Yeah, I will.
You, too.
What are you doing?
Get out of the way!
Don't do this.
There's nothing to say.
Just wait a minute.
There might be.
This afternoon I couldn't decide
between a Texas burger and a tuna melt.
But my life made sense, you know?
And now I know exactly
what I want.
And my life doesn't make any sense.
I was doing great this afternoon.
That was me.
It was me then.
And now I'm with you,
and I don't know what happened.
But somewhere between the tuna melt
and your aunt's tamales...
I was worried that I'd already met
the woman of my dreams...
at the dry cleaners
and I was too busy to notice.
But then you show up,
and I realize that's not true.
Because you're the one.
You are everything
I never knew I always wanted.
I'm not even sure what that means,
but I think...
it has something to do
with the rest of my life.
And I think we should get married
right now.
Well, well! Look who finally decided
to grace us with his presence.
Sorry, Jeff.
Could not be helped.
Oh, no, no.
You're not getting off this easy.
So? So, who is she?
I open the door, the next thing you're
off on a date with Jessica Rabbit.
Her name is Isabel,
and it wasn't exactly a date.
Okay, that's informative.
Let me ask you a question.
What the hell is dating...
except some drawn-out process
of elimination...
where you both try to present your
best side while hiding the real you?
That can only last about three months
because eventually it leaks out.
Then you spend the next three months
getting to know your real selves.
Then one of you wants a commitment,
the other wants to bail.
Then you have to start over again.
Dating is stupid.
Who are you, and what have you done
with my best friend?
You and Karen dated, what?
Five years before you got married?
- Look what happened with you guys.
- You're using the "M" word?
There's a woman on line one.
She says she's your wife.
The only wife around here is my ex,
and I am not in.
Ask her if I can call her back.
And get her phone number.
You married her?
The one with the body?
You're married?
Alex, does my life
mean nothing to you?
It's gonna be okay.
No, it is not gonna be okay.
- Who says it's gonna be okay?
- You gamble either way.
And you are just pissed
that I won on the first pull...
instead of putting quarters into the
wrong machine for the last five years.
Those were silver dollars.
And that slot machine now owns my house.
Alex, she says it's urgent.
It's urgent! The nightmare begins.
I can't believe you did this.
What were you thinking?
This is out of character for you.
This makes no sense. Why would
you marry her unless you knocked her up?
You knocked her up?
Yes, but that had nothing
to do with it.
I don't want to burst your bubble,
this being your honeymoon and all.
But do you know if this baby is yours?
Have you asked for a blood test?
I can't do that. She's my wife.
It's not like that. You don't know her.
Neither do you!
I welcome you in my home.
This is how you repay me?
Stealing my only daughter?
Getting married in that joke
of a chapel!
Without a priest!
Without her family!
Without my consent!
You are not a man.
You are a thief.
That's what you are!
Jesus!
In-laws.
He disowns me?
Fine. I disown him twice.
We disown him, me and the baby.
Let's see how he likes that.
He's your father.
You had Elvis walk you down the aisle.
Can you blame the poor guy?
- How'd your mom take it?
- I'm a sinner. She went to church.
- That bad?
- She's lighting all the city's candles.
- Hello, my wife.
- Hello, my husband.
Interesting house, Alex.
Did you decorate it yourself?
Yes, Lanie, I realize
it is a little dull.
No, you got that cozy
institutional thing going on.
Not after I spice it up.
It's just for the next four months.
Then what?
You turn back into a frog?
No. Then we open the club,
and we go back to New York.
We what?
We go back to...
New York.
You don't live here?
- No. I live in Manhattan.
- Well, I live here.
And I like it here. My family's here,
and my friends are here.
And my work is here.
You can't raise a baby in that city.
People do it all the time.
Have you ever been there?
There you go.
And you've never been off the strip.
There's more to Nevada than Vegas.
Like what?
Like legal prostitution?
That is such a guy thing to say.
If it's any consolation,
when I first got here, I hated it.
But Vegas, seriously,
grows on ya after a while.
Ladies, let me explain something.
Las Vegas is a sandbox.
A sandbox for adults with
too much money. New York is New York.
You got culture, museums.
You got the Yankees.
Why does every guy from New York think
there's nothing west of the Hudson?
- How come every girl from Vegas...
- Shut up.
We're gonna let them talk.
I've been saving to do this book
about the desert for five years.
I finally paid off my camera equipment.
My life is in Las Vegas.
And my work is in New York.
See?
This kind of conversation
usually happens on a second date.
Small, ugly thing biting me.
- Che! Che!
- Small, ugly thing biting me.
Stop it! Stop it, baby.
This is Che, my dog. I mean, our dog.
Welcome home.
I can't believe
this is the same house.
I know. Isn't it great?
It's their wedding present.
Not everybody feels like my father.
They wanted to do
something special for us.
- Say thank you.
- Thank you.
It's very special.
You don't like it.
No. I just never lived in anything
so bright and...
Jesus Christ!
Isn't it beautiful?
It's an antique.
It's been in my family for centuries,
and it will protect us.
Couldn't we trade Cujo in
for a Doberman?
That isn't funny.
You're hurting my baby's feelings.
What did your parents say
when you told them?
I feel so stupid. I forgot they went
to Europe for the summer.
It's April.
They like to get there early.
So you did all this in one day?
I should hire you to build the club.
I don't know that you can afford us.
You are so cute. Here.
I'm gonna get my camera
and take a picture of my family.
What are you looking at?
- So this is where you go every day.
- It opened last night.
I got a lot of complaints.
I think the fact...
there are no walls upset people.
It's going to be wonderful.
I can tell.
I wanted you to be the first guest
at our best table.
I'm very honored.
Alex, this is so romantic.
The candles.
And the wine...
I mean, the milk.
And pizza.
It's perfect.
Perfect would be if this was New York
and that was a Gray's Papaya Hot Dog.
What's a Gray Papaya?
Broadway and 72nd.
Four blocks from my apartment.
The best hot dog in the world.
And if we were in Mexico,
we would be eating...
albondigas.
They're this sort of meatball soup.
My great grandmother
is famous for them.
Alex, you have
to come with me one day.
You'd love it there. There are
no phones, no electricity, no people.
No kidding?
There's a spot in the middle
of Central Park...
the Bethesda Fountain.
If you sit there long enough,
the entire city walks by.
And I know of this one canyon...
that if you sit there long enough,
nobody finds you and you die.
Really?
I could not believe it!
The whole night...
he kept changing the subject
to New York this, New York that.
What do you expect?
His life is not your life.
- I thought you were on my side.
- He has a family to support.
He can do that here.
We can do it together.
Marriage is about finding
a middle ground.
You have to learn
to pick your battles.
- I sure picked one this morning.
- What did you do?
Nothing! I just had the guys drop by
to take him shooting.
Alex is alone with your brothers?
And Chuy.
I better light another candle.
Isabel said there are some
pretty interesting canyons up here.
One in particular
where people go to die.
That's the other way, right?
What's this about
you taking Isabel to New York?
That's just an idea.
There's nothing carved in stone.
She won't go.
I'd bet my life on it.
Shucks, Juan. Nobody here expects
someone to give up his life.
Do they, Chuy?
What are you going to be?
Isabel Fuentes? Isabel Whitman?
Or are you doing a Hillary
and be Isabel Fuentes-Whitman?
That's Mrs. Alex Whitman to you.
Pardon me.
I'm sorry. Excuse me.
Excuse me a moment.
I didn't mean to eavesdrop,
but I couldn't help but overhear.
Did you just say Alex Whitman?
From New Canaan, Connecticut?
I think that's where he's from.
Late 20s, about six feet tall,
dark hair, talks a lot with his hands?
That's him.
I'm sorry. I'm Cathy Stewart.
Our families are very old friends.
You're kidding?
That's fantastic!
I really don't know any of his friends,
so I am so glad to meet you.
I'm Isabel.
And this is Lanie.
I've missed Alex the last trips
out here. He's always so busy.
How do you know him?
I'm his wife.
I beg your pardon?
Alex and I, we're married.
And they're gonna have a baby.
A baby? Really?
Congratulations.
Isn't this a surprise?
This is some backyard.
I can see why you like it up here.
Must've been fun growing up.
You know, all these rocks...
the open space, the view...
the birds.
The snakes.
Do not move.
Everybody, do this on three.
Ready?
- Wait.
- One.
- What are we doing on three?
- Two.
- What happens on three?
- Three!
Stop! Stop!
I'm coming!
Lucy, you got some explaining to do.
Oh, my God!
What did you do to him?
He fell into some cactus.
A lot of cactus.
We gave him Tequila for the pain.
The desert made a big impression on him.
I told you to make it special, idiot!
Not to kill him.
Get the hell out of here!
You, too. Come on.
Baby?
Honey?
Whatever you do,
don't turn over.
I'm going to get the tweezers.
I'm confused.
If babies can only see
in black and white, then how come...
that Barney guy is purple?
Dinosaurs come later.
Don't sit there.
I'm doing the floors next.
Again?
I read about this.
This is the "nesting period."
It must be because I can't seem
to get this place clean enough.
Come here.
- I'm sorry. Poor baby.
- There's one still in there.
Then we'll have to take these pants off
so I can take a closer look.
Whatever you say, Doctor.
I forgot to tell you.
I ran into an old friend of yours.
- Cathy something.
- Cathy Stewart?
Really? When?
Last week,
the same day as the cactus.
I think she's jealous.
Really?
I'll get it.
Coming!
- Surprise!
- Mom! Dad!
I wanted to call first.
This was her idea.
I spoke to Cathy. She said to get
out here, see what you were up to.
She insisted!
What the hell is that?
A squirrel?
- Who is it?
- I got it, hon.
Now that is what I call a housekeeper.
Did we come at a bad time?
She's cleaning the oven,
and the fumes are...
You're here.
You're really here.
- Hi.
- Hello.
Alex, aren't you
going to introduce us?
Yes. Yes.
This is...
- Isabel.
- Isabel. Right.
Right.
It's nice to meet you.
I'm Alex's mother, Mrs. Whitman.
And this is Mr. Whitman.
Oh, my God!
You're his parents.
Oh, my God!
Look at me. I'm a mess.
It's so great to finally meet you.
Please, come in, come in.
Very friendly.
You must be exhausted.
Did you just get in?
- Would you like a drink?
- That is a great idea.
You get the drinks.
I love you.
- And I'll think of something.
- Who wants a cold beer?
- Terrific.
- I'd love one.
Don't tell them anything
until I come back.
She is wonderful!
There must be a lot of good help
around here, being so close to Mexico.
- Such a warm people.
- Isn't this a company house?
You would think they could afford
a decent decorator.
Dad, Mom,
why don't you sit down?
What's this?
Is something wrong?
Yes. I have to tell...
Isabel where the bottle opener is.
How was Europe?
Boy, you came back soon.
Europe?
Alex said you were gone
for the summer.
You know better than that.
We hate Europe in the summer.
- Too many tourists.
- Europe in the summer.
You lied to me...
all this time.
- What does that mean?
- It means you're a liar and a coward.
Sounded prettier in Spanish.
Would you excuse me a minute?
Sounds like somebody's
about to get fired.
- Isabel, I was going to tell them.
- When?
- After the baby was born?
- I didn't want to do it on the phone.
My father won't even speak to me,
but I went there.
I told him the truth.
But you don't have the balls to phone
and let them know what's going on.
My family's not like yours.
I never see them or talk to them.
Excuses! Excuses! Excuses!
You should have told them!
I wanted to do it in person!
Why is that hard for you to understand?
Here's your big chance.
Mom, Dad...
I have some interesting
and exciting news.
I'd like you to meet Isabel Fuentes...
Whitman.
Oh, my God.
I let these people come, didn't I?
That doesn't mean I have to like it.
- Mama, do something.
- Why are you being so difficult?
Because as far as I'm concerned...
these people are not her in-laws
because she's not married.
And if she's not married,
she has no in-laws.
So why am I celebrating
the Cinco de Mayo with strangers?
They're strangers because
you won't talk to them.
Tomas, either you act
like the man I married...
or tonight you sleep
with the dogs.
I hope you have
plenty of lotion on.
The desert sun kicks off this water
like a mirror.
No, I think if we stay in the shade,
we'll be fine.
Suit yourselves.
Pity you didn't bring suits.
Yes. Well,
we didn't exactly plan for this.
Jesus Christ, is it hot!
Seor, I would like
to tell you something.
I do not believe these kids
have a clue...
what they are getting into.
I couldn't agree with you more.
- Really?
- Absolutely.
Marriage is a serious commitment.
I happen to think
that it's terribly romantic.
Hon, see, you're not helping.
I have to agree with her.
You men forget how foolish you once were
chasing after us.
This is different!
They are different!
They come from a different culture,
a different world.
It's hard enough to make a marriage work
without adding to it.
Listen to the man, Alex.
He has a point.
I think they're going to start spelling
the big word soon.
Why can't you be happy for us?
Because I'm afraid for you.
This whole thing never would have
happened if he hadn't gone after...
Now, wait just a second, Tomas.
It takes two to tango.
She is as guilty as he is.
Let's just calm down, shall we?
They fell in love.
And love is a beautiful thing
Ask yourself this question, Isabelita:
Where will you live?
How will you raise your child?
- We don't know yet.
- You see?
Let's start with the economics.
They will live in New York...
because that's where his job is.
And the religion
will have to be Catholic.
- Says who?
- The mother is Catholic.
Whatever the mother is,
the baby is.
And what is the matter
with Presbyterian?
- Presbyterian is not a religion.
- I beg your pardon?
Thomas, Tomas, whatever...
this country was founded by people
escaping religious persecution.
The Whitmans were one of them!
When the west
was stolen from Mexico...
the Fuentes family made a vow...
that even though they took our land,
they'd never take our culture!
You call this culture?
Guacamole and a ghetto blaster
in the middle of a desert?
Now you're offending
Amalia's guacamole?
What's wrong with Amalia's guacamole?
In case you haven't noticed...
the white people
are melting out here!
It was 112 degrees.
I fried an egg on my head.
And he didn't mean "white."
He meant...
- He meant "not tan."
- Don't go there.
Your father wasn't helpful either
with all that Catholic talk.
Alex, the first time I realized
I was pregnant...
I got stopped at a stop light
in front of St. Viviana's.
You know what it was?
It was a sign.
Of what?
That the baby would be Catholic.
It's a good thing you weren't stopped
in front of an IHOP.
- You think that's funny?
- Religion is the opiate of the masses.
- Country clubs are full with racists.
- Yes. Right. I agree.
But do you think hanging a crucifix on
a wall will protect you from anything?
As a matter of fact I do. I believe
because I am a woman of faith.
The faith I have in that crucifix
and the faith I have in us...
all comes from the same place
inside of me.
Now you, on the other hand...
you're not even
an active Presbyterian.
So why don't you want me to carry
my faith and my belief to our child?
It's a good way to be,
a good thing to do.
It's not the only way to be,
not the only thing to do.
- Where are you going?
- You're not my favorite person now.
Well, you either.
Do you want my advice?
Get out now.
I'll even file it for you.
Who said lawyers don't have hearts?
What did you expect?
You have a relationship
built on heat.
It's like Vegas. Why didn't they just
build this city on the fuckin' sun?
Maybe you're not the guy
to talk to about this.
I'm the perfect guy to talk to
because I know what you're trying to do.
You're trying to be decent. The longer
you put this off, the worse it'II be.
Put what off?
I just said we had a fight.
You said more than that, my friend.
Look, Alex...
we're here to get a job done
and we're running behind schedule.
Can I help it if Cinco de Mayo
fell on Tuesday?
Get your priorities straight
before the shit hits the fan.
- Why? What's up?
- We had a visit from OSHA.
Will you talk to the foreman?
We came this close to a shutdown.
Jesus.
Jesus.
I will handle this, okay?
Good.
Mrs. Gonzales, please?
- May I help you?
- Isabel Fuentes-Whitman.
- I thought you had to work.
- I do.
- But I need to talk to you.
- I need to talk to you, too.
I feel bad about the way
things have been going.
Oh, no, it was my fault.
I haven't been completely honest
with you.
And I was thinking
on the way over...
Hello, Isabel.
How are we today?
We are fine.
You must be the father
I've heard so much about.
- I'm Lisa Barnes.
- Alex Whitman.
You're just in time
for the show.
You wanna watch?
Come over here.
- Is that gonna hurt her?
- No, it tickles.
Whoa! What is that?
That's your baby's heartbeat.
- It's so fast.
- It's normal.
- Neat, huh?
- Yeah.
There's the head.
There's a leg.
Wait a minute.
Is that his...
Actually I think that's an arm.
It's too early to determine
the baby's sex.
Okay, let's take the first picture
of your baby.
I'm sorry.
Me, too.
I can hear his little heartbeat.
It was going...
That's great. I spoke to New York. Guess
who is three weeks ahead of schedule?
- Charlie Peters doesn't have a life.
- I'm just saying.
Where the hell is my crane?
The foreman says first thing tomorrow.
Hello!
- Hey, Isabel.
- Wow.
- What are you doing here?
- I've come to kidnap you.
Alex, this is not a good day.
Don't make me hurt you, gringo.
It's his birthday,
and I won't take no for an answer.
- Will you cover for me?
- Please?
- Have a good time.
- Thank you, Jeff.
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
- Where're we going?
- It's a surprise.
Big surprise.
The very first time I came here...
my father told me a story about a family
of squirrels that lived on the plateau.
He said that one day
the canyon split.
Half of the squirrels ended up
on the north rim....
and the other half
on the south rim.
Over time,
the two families became different...
each adjusting
to their own environment.
The ones to the north
are dark...
bushy-tailed
and have bigger ears.
The ones to the south
are leaner...
meaner
and much prettier.
And even though they look different
and act different...
they are
the exact same squirrel.
They just grew up
on different sides.
And this canyon between them?
Will they ever be able
to cross it?
Well...
I've been thinking about
making you a deal.
If we can stay here
until the baby's born...
I'll move to New York.
Isabel, that's great!
I'm not saying I like it,
but I'll give it a try.
Oh, you've got a deal.
Good.
I'll give you your present.
There's more?
I called my new mother-in-law
and asked her to do me a little favor.
This arrived today.
I can't believe you did this!
Who said you can't have
the best of both worlds?
This is the most wonderful birthday
I've ever had.
Okay, you think this is good,
wait'll you try these.
Let's see.
This is good.
You've got five men without hard hats.
No load statement.
The bathroom doors don't meet
handicapped standards.
And I told your foreman two weeks ago
to build that ramp.
I'm gonna have to shut you down.
Whoa. Would you excuse us
for a minute?
Stanley, walk with me.
Are you gonna put 25 guys
out of work?
I mean it, Alex.
You got one week.
Anything goes wrong out here,
I mean anything, it's your ass.
I swear to God, if anything else goes
wrong, I will red-tag this place myself.
Let's forget about this
and go to lunch.
What happened?
- Get over here!
- We could take my car.
- It was a sign.
- Of course it was.
God was telling him to quit that job
and stay here with you.
No, Mama. It was like a real sign
with neon and all that stuff.
Oh. Then it was a miracle
nobody got hurt.
And when does your husband
come home?
Tonight.
He doesn't sound very good.
Wait. Which candle
am I lighting?
To keep the job
or lose the job?
To keep.
I probably should've sent you
to Tokyo.
Judd, I can open Vegas
in three weeks.
If you could pull that off...
I just might be forced to give you
the Midtown Club.
You'd still give it to me?
You're the best field man I've got.
We break ground July 1.
Jeff said it wasn't starting
until October.
Should I give it to somebody else?
The baby's due in October.
- I promised...
- Is there a problem?
No, there's no problem.
Alex, look what Petra and Antonio
got us? Isn't it cute?
We have clubs in New York, Dallas.
We have clubs in Hawaii.
We have clubs everywhere.
So with your help,
and your help...
I think this could be
the most successful club we've ever had.
Honey, let him get the club opened.
He's changed, Lanie.
I can't reach him.
Something happened in New York.
- The guy has a lot on his mind.
- It's more than that.
I think he's in trouble,
but he won't talk to me.
You think he wants out?
I don't know.
- I've been worried about you.
- Me, too. I'm getting a drink.
You shouldn't worry about anything.
It's your big night.
I think now that the club's open,
we should talk...
I am so proud of you.
This looks fantastic.
Why aren't you more excited?
It's been hectic.
It's been a lot going on.
You look great.
No, I look fat.
Oh. Feel this.
The baby likes the music.
- Oh, hi!
- Hi.
There's a teeny problem
in the kitchen.
- Okay. I'll see you?
- Yeah.
See you.
You and Jeff seem to be
getting along really well.
I hate talking to men who are prettier
than I am. It takes me days to recover.
Right.
- You all right?
- Yeah, yeah.
- This baby is mad at me about something.
- Come on, sit down.
Let's go.
Excuse me.
- I'll get Alex.
- No, no, you won't.
Wait a minute.
It'll pass.
I'll get you some water, okay?
Pardon me.
There you are.
Judd, this is my wife Isabel.
Isabel, this is my boss Judd Marshall.
- Hello.
- Hello. Nice to meet you.
- It's a real pleasure, Isabel.
- It's nice to meet you, too.
- You're in for quite an adventure.
- Oh, it has been so far.
I knew if I dangled the Midtown Club in
front of your husband he'd get on track.
- We don't need to talk...
- Excuse me?
By this time next week, you'll both
be New Yorkers. I hope you're packed.
Great work, Alex,
but I've got to get outta here.
Nightclubs give me a headache.
I'll see you the end of the week.
We can all have dinner.
- Nice meeting you, Isabel.
- I'll walk you out.
There was nothing I could do.
The job starts July 1.
- Tell them to wait.
- I can't do that.
- Can't or won't?
- I've worked too long, too hard to...
To what? To share your life
with someone who loves you?
Who cares for you?
You have to be there
every day.
What do you think
I've been killing myself for?
You knew about this for a month,
but you don't include me.
Why are you afraid of me?
Why do you alienate me
from your life?
I don't know!
I told you in the beginning...
I have no problem
raising this child on my own.
I thought we were a family.
You don't understand the concept
of a family.
To you it's something you put up with
on national holidays.
Love is a gift, Alex...
not an obligation.
This is the brass ring.
I've worked my entire life
for an opportunity like this.
I'm not giving it up because one night
I put a $5 ring on your finger...
in front of Elvis as a witness.
Hey, Cujo.
Come here.
Hello?
Lanie.
What happened?
- Maternity?
- Second floor.
- Are you all right?
- I'm all right.
Is the baby okay?
There is no baby.
What?
I've been thinking.
If I hadn't been pregnant, I wouldn't
have gone to your house that night...
and we wouldn't
have gotten married.
The baby was the reason
for us to be together.
- That's not true.
- I thought it was fate.
It was just a stupid
superstitious dream.
There are no signs, Alex.
We're too different.
- And we will always be.
- What are you saying?
I'm saying we're not meant
to be together.
- Don't do this, not now.
- This is not gonna work.
Let me help you.
Get out, Alex.
Get out!
Get out!
Don't be a putz.
These are right behind the dugout.
I can't believe you are turning down
box seats to a Yankee game.
- I've got a lot of work to do.
- You are killing me.
These girls come two to a bag.
You cannot date one without the other.
I am not up for it.
Okay, Jeff?
Get up for it.
Okay, Alex?
This monk thing is getting old.
Alex Whitman?
That's me.
Then this is for you.
Sign here.
- What is this?
- Divorce papers.
You have six days to contest.
Have a nice day.
You, too.
There you go. Life sucks.
Welcome to the club.
Now, about Friday.
Come with us.
- Whitman.
- Alex, hi. It's Cathy.
Did I catch you at a bad time?
Cathy Stewart.
Your timing is impeccable.
I heard about what happened
with you and your wife.
- I wanted to tell you how sorry I am.
- Thanks.
Listen.
Your parents are coming sailing
with us this weekend.
Is there any chance
that you could join us?
Hello?
You know what?
You've got yourself a date.
There are signs everywhere.
What did you say?
You look lost.
There are signs everywhere
to help you find your way.
South Street heliport.
There you are.
Hi, darling!
Oh, isn't this fun?
I can't remember the last time
we all got together like this.
- How are you?
- Hi, Bruce.
Understand you've been doing
great things with your club. Well done.
Wait'll you see Bruce's new boat.
- A weekend toy.
- Let's get this show on the road.
- Shall we?
- Let's go.
Are you all right?
Yes, I am.
I just have a thing
about helicopters.
Well, just stick by me then.
Here. Let me...
Thank you.
Isabel! Isabel!
Come back inside.
- Tamazula?
- Tamazula.
How do I get there?
Tranvia.
Tamazula.
What the hells a "tranvia"?
That bus over there.
Yo me llamo Alex Whitman.
I don't understand that.
You've got to be kidding.
Lanie, please. I'm probably
flying over her right now.
- When did she call?
- A couple of hours ago.
She was in Nogales, which means
she'll hit Nevada around 8:00.
Why? What are you gonna do?
Yes!
What are you, nuts?
Hey, buddy, get off the road!
Alex Whitman! What the hell!
Are you trying to get us killed?
- I'm not giving you a divorce.
- You're too late.
I've got till 12:00.
Alex, it's over.
Get the hell off the road!
There was a priest.
He said there were signs everywhere.
- What priest?
- Right by the hot dogs.
Then you add the chihuahua,
the Grand Canyon...
and a little girl named Isabel.
There are signs everywhere!
- I don't believe in signs anymore.
- Yes, you do.
Yes, you do!
And you were wrong.
The baby didn't bring us together.
It was something bigger.
I just didn't believe it
until now.
Don't do this.
I love you.
I love you so much it hurts.
What the hell is going on
with your stomach?
- Just go home!
- You're still pregnant.
- You're still pregnant!
- I know!
How could you lie to me about that?
How could you do that to me?
I was afraid.
I tried to reach you, but I couldn't.
- You lied to me, so I lied to you.
- I know.
I was wrong and I'm sorry,
but I'm here now.
Don't you know what this means?
We're gonna have a baby!
No, I'm gonna have a baby.
You're gonna call 911.
- Why?
- Because my water just broke.
But we're on a dam!
Excuse me.
The ambulance is on its way.
Should be here in 10 minutes.
Sir, is this your wife?
- Yes.
- No.
Could we move you over
to the main building?
She's not going anywhere. These
contractions are on top of each other.
Hear that? The contractions
are on top of each other.
- I'm not deaf, I'm in labor.
- Oh, my God!
- We're having a baby!
- I hate you.
- I hate you! I hate you!
- They always say that.
You can do this. You're
the bravest person I've ever known.
- What'd she say?
- She said she loves me.
- Can't live without me.
- Okay, folks.
It looks like we're gonna have this baby
right here, right now.
Let's give her some air.
The baby's coming, but don't worry.
I'm right here.
Go away. You're bad luck.
No, I'm never leaving you again.
Get away from me!
Oh, baby, don't go, please.
I'm so sorry for everything.
I need you so much.
I love you. Wow.
You're breaking my hand.
The baby has crowned.
Start pushing.
There's a blanket in my car
for the baby.
Just push. Push.
Say something.
- I rode a mule.
- No wonder you stink.
- Your great grandmother kissed me.
- You went to Aguascalientes?
Yeah. Yeah.
- Here's the blanket.
- The head is out.
Okay, breathe. This is it.
This is it!
Push! Breathe! Breathe!
Okay, Isabel, one more big push
should do it.
It's a girl.
It's a beautiful girl.
She's so beautiful.
That was a little superstitious,
don't you think?
I don't want to tempt fate.
Do you think she'll like living
in New York?
Not as much as she'll like
camping in the desert.
With a few Gray's Papaya Hot Dogs.
- Oh, no!
- What?
We're divorced.
Greetings.
There's a face I haven't seen lately.
How are you, Alex? How was Miami?
Great! We opened the doors
last Saturday.
I hope you packed your snowshoes.
J.F.K. Took me three hours.
- You in town for a while?
- No. Next stop is Tokyo.
- You guys are taking over the world.
- That's the idea.
Merry Christmas!
Whoa! Am I on the right floor?
Who are you people,
and why don't you work for a living?
- Look who's back.
- Mr. "On time and under budget"!
Long time no see.
What's with the fish?
It's a key chain. What's with the party?
Don't we still design nightclubs?
Not during the holidays.
Merry Christmas, Whitman.
Sushi?
Yo, Hemingway, hold up.
Not so fast.
I see your divorce
has left you shattered.
I finally found two women
who understand my pain.
- Listen. You don't want to go in there.
- Why? What's up?
Charlie Peters just got Tokyo.
He leaves in the morning.
- You are taking over Vegas.
- No, no. I'm supposed to get Tokyo.
You do not want Tokyo.
I don't want Tokyo?
I want Las Vegas?
Listen. Everything that's famous
about Las Vegas is about leaving it!
That movie, the song, even the mob left.
What happened to Reynolds?
Just get in there!
Look. This could get me fired.
At 10:00 this morning,
I closed a deal...
to purchase a 50,000-square-foot space
across the street from the Royalton.
If you play your cards right,
you'll come home with your sweetest gig.
The Midtown Club.
We're finally gonna do it. And guess
who will still be eating Sushi?
Charlie Peters!
We have conference rooms,
you know.
He just needed a hug, sir.
It's the holidays.
They're just so hard.
Excuse me.
I'm afraid I'm gonna need you
in Vegas.
Vegas? Did you say, Vegas?
That's my favorite city
in the world.
It's a family business.
Everybody tried to steal this guy.
- You're wasting your time.
- That's why I want him.
Great week, guys.
Thanks for the hustle.
Here are your keys. Your furniture's in.
I got you groceries.
Are you sure you wouldn't be happier
at one of the hotels?
Too many distractions.
Hot! Hot!
It's January, for Christ's sake!
Chuy, I'm not ready for marriage.
I love you,
but I don't love you like that.
So I really think
we should see other people.
What do you think?
Lose the part about seeing other people?
Yeah, I think you're right.
Yes, I'm sure! My great grandmother
said I should wait for a sign.
Remember that necklace that he got me
for Christmas? It broke.
I gotta pee. I'II tell you everything
when I get home.
Lanie, I haven't stopped since Nogales.
I gotta go. Bye.
- Excuse me. I was here.
- I think I would've noticed that.
No! You see, I was on the phone,
and the line moved.
But I couldn't move with it because
the cord wouldn't stretch that far.
I'd like to believe you,
but your nose is actually growing.
Come on. I thought
that was pretty good.
You realize
that I could die for this.
I pee really fast.
I live with five brothers,
three cousins and only one bathroom.
Believe me, I can pee faster
than anybody in the world.
Really? A gold medalist.
This I have to see.
Thank you.
I was just about to say that.
I told him to stop being a pig
in front of our new priest.
That's Father Alex to you.
I'm Isabel.
So all that on the phone,
that waiting for a sign stuff?
Is that a religious thing
or a cultural thing?
Do you always listen
to other people's conversations?
- Like to go to the end of the line?
- Why do you want to know?
It just sounded a little deep for...
It just sounded a little deep
for a Friday night. I was curious.
Religion is a very important part
of our culture...
at least in my family.
I believe that your destiny
has already been decided.
You just have to read the signs.
You don't believe that?
No. I think if a guy gets hit by a bus,
it's because he wasn't looking...
not because of some master plan.
You don't think it was fate...
you were standing in this line
when I got off the phone?
Fate? No. I think it was more
of a bladder thing.
Oh, that's too bad.
Because, you see, I happen
to think there's an explanation...
beyond reason, beyond all logic...
that brought you
right to this very spot...
at the exact same time...
that I showed up
at this very spot.
You do?
Absolutely.
And why would fate go
to all that trouble?
So that I wouldn't have
to wait in line.
Thanks.
Thank you. All right.
Bye-bye.
We got the meeting with Tracy Verna.
It's set. 5:30 at your place.
Alcoholic Beverage Commission?
- Any idea the power this woman abuses?
- Jeff, who are you talking to?
I know how important she is.
She sounded blonde.
Audibly blonde.
She's married to the County Supervisor.
Do not hit on this woman.
- I'll pick up some wine.
- Do not hit on this woman.
- I'll make it expensive.
- He's gonna hit on the woman.
Whoa. Incoming.
It's a long story.
Hi. I'm looking for Alex.
You know, he just ducked out.
Shoot! I thought I might catch him.
We've been trading calls for months now,
but he's always so busy.
Come on in. Want to leave him a note?
There's a pad on his desk.
- No, that's okay.
- Sure?
I'm Catherine Stewart.
Our families are very old friends.
- Alex, they need you on-site.
- He went to the store.
- His car's outside.
- He took a bulldozer, okay, Donna?
- He's always in three places at once.
- That is our Alex.
- Bye.
- Bye-bye.
- You've been avoiding that?
- Since third grade.
Nobody ever plans to end up in Vegas.
They just do.
Kind of sneaks up on you. But it is
the fastest-growing city in the U.S.
The economy is booming.
Business is growing.
I'm up to my neck in paperwork.
But, frankly,
it's just not a whole lot of fun.
Are you a whole lot of fun?
Jeff said we might have problems...
with our liquor license
because of new zoning?
I'll talk to the County Supervisor
for you.
If I were you, I'd pay more attention
to the A. B.C. Investigation.
They're gonna ask you
personal questions.
They'd like nothing better than
to catch you with your pants down.
Then they should definitely
be looking into Jeff...
because he actually heads up...
our "pants down" department.
Jeff, hon,
would you get us some ice?
And put some Scotch in it.
One Scotch coming up.
I'm out of Scotch.
Why don't we go out to dinner?
Quid pro quo, pal.
You give it to her,
she gives it to us.
I'll take my time.
I can't do this!
I thought...
I must have the wrong house.
No, no. Wait.
If you're looking for Alex,
he's inside.
He is?
Excuse me. Alex?
- You have a visitor.
- I do?
Oh, yeah.
- Would you excuse me?
- Well, don't be long.
You remembered.
How could I forget?
I've been looking all over for you.
I would've called you,
but you disappeared on me.
I didn't know what to do.
I never did anything like that before,
going home with someone I don't know.
Hey, you and me, both.
It was just one of those great...
phenomenal...
spontaneous things.
Yes, it was.
- How long has it been?
- Three months.
Do you mind if I have some of these?
My stomach is not so good.
Go ahead, help yourself.
Want something to drink?
I've got water.
Water's fine.
You've done a lot with this place.
Yeah, I've been kind of busy.
Wow! You look great.
Thank you.
So, how you been?
Pregnant.
Really? Pregnant.
Well, that's great. Terrific.
Congratulations.
Thank you. It's yours.
Mine?
- We were only together one night.
- That's all it took.
And I used a condom.
Lots of 'em.
One didn't work.
But that's its job.
Its job is to work.
Its entire reason for being
is to work.
Look...
I thought about this a lot.
There's really only one thing
for me to do.
Oh, thank God!
I mean, I understand.
- And I respect your decision.
- You do?
Yes. I have always believed
in a woman's right to choose.
That's good! Because I choose
to keep this baby.
And I don't want your money.
I thought the honorable thing to do...
would be to come here
and tell you in person...
that I am pregnant...
that I'm keeping this baby...
and that it's yours.
Yeah, I'm glad you...
I'm feeling awfully neglected
out there.
It's time we went to dinner.
Tracy, could you
give me a minute, please?
Sorry. I came at a bad time.
I'll go get my purse.
I'll let myself out.
- Tracy, what are you up for?
- I know the place. It's a little wild.
If you recommend it,
I'm sure it's gonna be great.
I'll catch up with you guys.
I've got a bit of a family emergency.
What are you doing?
Alex, don't!
Alex is going to meet us there.
Shit! Sorry.
Oh, my God.
Isabel, don't jump.
- What are you doing here?
- Just stay off the ledge.
I'm not gonna kill myself, stupid.
But if you come any closer,
I'll throw your ass over!
Wait a minute! You walked out on me
at 5:00 in the morning.
I never heard from you. Months later
you show up saying you're pregnant.
And I'm supposed to know
exactly what to do?
I'm sorry, but I don't know
exactly what to do.
That's the best thing
you've said all night.
Wow! This is incredible.
I love it here.
My great grandfather helped build this.
He came up from Aguascalientes
in the '30s.
Really?
Where?
Central Mexico.
My great grandmother still lives there
in a 400-year-old hacienda.
Every time I drive back from there
I make a wish at the state line...
right in the middle of the dam.
- Does it ever work?
- Depends on the wish.
My father's gonna kill me.
He doesn't know?
Nobody does except Lanie,
my roommate.
He can be a very passionate man
when it comes to his only daughter.
What can I do?
- I'll deal with it.
- No, really. I wanna help.
Maybe one thing.
Come meet them.
- Your family?
- I want them to know who you are.
So later, when they ask me
who the father is, I can say...
"You met him, remember?
I brought him home once."
Hey, no problem.
You just say when and we'll go.
When.
You have dinner with your family
once a week?
You have dinner with your family
once a week?
It's like a tradition.
Why? Don't you?
- Holidays and stuff.
- That's it?
You don't know my parents.
That's a lot.
How are we gonna do this?
Just act like we've been dating
for a few months.
Whatever you do, don't tell them
I picked you up outside a bathroom.
I thought I picked you up.
So we've been dating
for a couple of months. Who are you?
Let's see.
I am a camera girl at Caesar's.
You know, "Would you like a souvenir?"
That's how I pay the bills,
In real life, I'm a photographer.
I'm doing a book about the desert.
I have five brothers.
The oldest one is Antonio.
Then Carlos, Juan...
Miguel, Fernando,
and I am the baby.
But anybody messes with me,
I can take care of myself.
Tio Roberto is my favorite uncle.
He's married to Tia Rosa
who makes all the tamales.
She loves compliments, but you have
to talk to her on her left...
because she is stone-deaf
on her right ear.
What else? Oh, yeah. Never say
"Jesus Christ" in front of my mother.
My sister-in-law Petra and my brother
Antonio have a baby named after me.
- Any questions?
- Yes. What's your last name?
Fuentes. Isabel Fuentes.
And you're Alex...
- Whitman.
- Right.
It's nice to meet you.
Isa, hi. I was gonna get some ice.
Everyone's around back.
Who's this?
New boyfriend?
Juan, this is Alex.
Alex, this is my nosy brother Juan.
- Nice to meet you.
- Does Dad know about him?
And I wasn't going to come tonight.
Good luck!
Your father, is he a big man?
Come on.
Let's get this over with.
This is a family dinner?
I guess a lot of people
couldn't make it.
Tough room.
What is the matter with everybody?
Can't I bring a guy to dinner?
Hello, Isa.
Hi, Chuy.
Fine.
It's been a long time
since you came to one of these.
I was afraid
we'd never be friends again.
That's where we started,
isn't it?
This is Chuy.
He's a very good friend of the family.
We grew up together.
Chuy, hi. Luke Skywalker.
How are ya?
Sorry. You probably get that a lot.
Yes, he is my boyfriend.
Do you have a problem with that?
It's a pleasure to meet you.
You're a very lucky man.
There's nobody like Isa.
Nobody.
What happened to the music?
Seems like a nice enough guy.
He's gonna kill me, isn't he?
He's not the one
you should worry about. Come on.
My beautiful baby!
Who is this?
Mama, Papa...
this is Alex Whitman.
Mr. Fuentes, Mrs. Fuentes,
it's a pleasure to finally meet you.
Isabel talks about you
all the time.
That's funny.
She's never said a word about you.
Tomas, behave yourself.
I can't keep up. She's engaged, and
then she brings home a man with a tie.
I was not engaged!
Sir, that's one of my favorite things
about your daughter.
She's always full of surprises.
Come on, Alex. I think we'll be safer
in the other room.
Let me take your jacket.
You'll have to excuse my husband.
Sometimes I think he wishes Isabel
was still six years old.
When you become a father,
you'll know what that means.
- These pictures are really incredible.
- Yes.
They're Isabel's.
Haven't you ever seen her work?
Yes. Yes, I have.
It's just that
when I see her pictures...
it's like I'm looking at them
for the first time.
That must be the house in Mexico.
Yes. Aguascalientes.
And that is
Isabel's great grandmother.
They have a very special connection.
You can see it in the eyes,
that same wild spirit.
- I can handle my own love life.
- I think that runs in the family.
Since when?
This is terrific!
The taste is truly amazing!
You can't get tamales like this
in New York City! No way!
This one's Rosa.
She's beautiful.
Would you mind holding her
while I fix myself a plate?
I don't think I should.
I'm not really qual... I can't.
You can.
Hold her head.
Why? Does it come off?
You'll do fine.
How can so much stuff come out
of something so small?
Thank you for doing this.
Are you kidding?
They are great!
I had no idea that families
actually talked at dinner.
I'm glad they got to meet you.
- They're gonna hate me, aren't they?
- No. I won't let them.
Isabel, l...
Don't. You'll just make it worse.
At least let me give you a number
so you can reach me.
No. It's better this way.
No complications.
Please, just don't.
So, take care of yourself.
Yeah, I will.
You, too.
What are you doing?
Get out of the way!
Don't do this.
There's nothing to say.
Just wait a minute.
There might be.
This afternoon I couldn't decide
between a Texas burger and a tuna melt.
But my life made sense, you know?
And now I know exactly
what I want.
And my life doesn't make any sense.
I was doing great this afternoon.
That was me.
It was me then.
And now I'm with you,
and I don't know what happened.
But somewhere between the tuna melt
and your aunt's tamales...
I was worried that I'd already met
the woman of my dreams...
at the dry cleaners
and I was too busy to notice.
But then you show up,
and I realize that's not true.
Because you're the one.
You are everything
I never knew I always wanted.
I'm not even sure what that means,
but I think...
it has something to do
with the rest of my life.
And I think we should get married
right now.
Well, well! Look who finally decided
to grace us with his presence.
Sorry, Jeff.
Could not be helped.
Oh, no, no.
You're not getting off this easy.
So? So, who is she?
I open the door, the next thing you're
off on a date with Jessica Rabbit.
Her name is Isabel,
and it wasn't exactly a date.
Okay, that's informative.
Let me ask you a question.
What the hell is dating...
except some drawn-out process
of elimination...
where you both try to present your
best side while hiding the real you?
That can only last about three months
because eventually it leaks out.
Then you spend the next three months
getting to know your real selves.
Then one of you wants a commitment,
the other wants to bail.
Then you have to start over again.
Dating is stupid.
Who are you, and what have you done
with my best friend?
You and Karen dated, what?
Five years before you got married?
- Look what happened with you guys.
- You're using the "M" word?
There's a woman on line one.
She says she's your wife.
The only wife around here is my ex,
and I am not in.
Ask her if I can call her back.
And get her phone number.
You married her?
The one with the body?
You're married?
Alex, does my life
mean nothing to you?
It's gonna be okay.
No, it is not gonna be okay.
- Who says it's gonna be okay?
- You gamble either way.
And you are just pissed
that I won on the first pull...
instead of putting quarters into the
wrong machine for the last five years.
Those were silver dollars.
And that slot machine now owns my house.
Alex, she says it's urgent.
It's urgent! The nightmare begins.
I can't believe you did this.
What were you thinking?
This is out of character for you.
This makes no sense. Why would
you marry her unless you knocked her up?
You knocked her up?
Yes, but that had nothing
to do with it.
I don't want to burst your bubble,
this being your honeymoon and all.
But do you know if this baby is yours?
Have you asked for a blood test?
I can't do that. She's my wife.
It's not like that. You don't know her.
Neither do you!
I welcome you in my home.
This is how you repay me?
Stealing my only daughter?
Getting married in that joke
of a chapel!
Without a priest!
Without her family!
Without my consent!
You are not a man.
You are a thief.
That's what you are!
Jesus!
In-laws.
He disowns me?
Fine. I disown him twice.
We disown him, me and the baby.
Let's see how he likes that.
He's your father.
You had Elvis walk you down the aisle.
Can you blame the poor guy?
- How'd your mom take it?
- I'm a sinner. She went to church.
- That bad?
- She's lighting all the city's candles.
- Hello, my wife.
- Hello, my husband.
Interesting house, Alex.
Did you decorate it yourself?
Yes, Lanie, I realize
it is a little dull.
No, you got that cozy
institutional thing going on.
Not after I spice it up.
It's just for the next four months.
Then what?
You turn back into a frog?
No. Then we open the club,
and we go back to New York.
We what?
We go back to...
New York.
You don't live here?
- No. I live in Manhattan.
- Well, I live here.
And I like it here. My family's here,
and my friends are here.
And my work is here.
You can't raise a baby in that city.
People do it all the time.
Have you ever been there?
There you go.
And you've never been off the strip.
There's more to Nevada than Vegas.
Like what?
Like legal prostitution?
That is such a guy thing to say.
If it's any consolation,
when I first got here, I hated it.
But Vegas, seriously,
grows on ya after a while.
Ladies, let me explain something.
Las Vegas is a sandbox.
A sandbox for adults with
too much money. New York is New York.
You got culture, museums.
You got the Yankees.
Why does every guy from New York think
there's nothing west of the Hudson?
- How come every girl from Vegas...
- Shut up.
We're gonna let them talk.
I've been saving to do this book
about the desert for five years.
I finally paid off my camera equipment.
My life is in Las Vegas.
And my work is in New York.
See?
This kind of conversation
usually happens on a second date.
Small, ugly thing biting me.
- Che! Che!
- Small, ugly thing biting me.
Stop it! Stop it, baby.
This is Che, my dog. I mean, our dog.
Welcome home.
I can't believe
this is the same house.
I know. Isn't it great?
It's their wedding present.
Not everybody feels like my father.
They wanted to do
something special for us.
- Say thank you.
- Thank you.
It's very special.
You don't like it.
No. I just never lived in anything
so bright and...
Jesus Christ!
Isn't it beautiful?
It's an antique.
It's been in my family for centuries,
and it will protect us.
Couldn't we trade Cujo in
for a Doberman?
That isn't funny.
You're hurting my baby's feelings.
What did your parents say
when you told them?
I feel so stupid. I forgot they went
to Europe for the summer.
It's April.
They like to get there early.
So you did all this in one day?
I should hire you to build the club.
I don't know that you can afford us.
You are so cute. Here.
I'm gonna get my camera
and take a picture of my family.
What are you looking at?
- So this is where you go every day.
- It opened last night.
I got a lot of complaints.
I think the fact...
there are no walls upset people.
It's going to be wonderful.
I can tell.
I wanted you to be the first guest
at our best table.
I'm very honored.
Alex, this is so romantic.
The candles.
And the wine...
I mean, the milk.
And pizza.
It's perfect.
Perfect would be if this was New York
and that was a Gray's Papaya Hot Dog.
What's a Gray Papaya?
Broadway and 72nd.
Four blocks from my apartment.
The best hot dog in the world.
And if we were in Mexico,
we would be eating...
albondigas.
They're this sort of meatball soup.
My great grandmother
is famous for them.
Alex, you have
to come with me one day.
You'd love it there. There are
no phones, no electricity, no people.
No kidding?
There's a spot in the middle
of Central Park...
the Bethesda Fountain.
If you sit there long enough,
the entire city walks by.
And I know of this one canyon...
that if you sit there long enough,
nobody finds you and you die.
Really?
I could not believe it!
The whole night...
he kept changing the subject
to New York this, New York that.
What do you expect?
His life is not your life.
- I thought you were on my side.
- He has a family to support.
He can do that here.
We can do it together.
Marriage is about finding
a middle ground.
You have to learn
to pick your battles.
- I sure picked one this morning.
- What did you do?
Nothing! I just had the guys drop by
to take him shooting.
Alex is alone with your brothers?
And Chuy.
I better light another candle.
Isabel said there are some
pretty interesting canyons up here.
One in particular
where people go to die.
That's the other way, right?
What's this about
you taking Isabel to New York?
That's just an idea.
There's nothing carved in stone.
She won't go.
I'd bet my life on it.
Shucks, Juan. Nobody here expects
someone to give up his life.
Do they, Chuy?
What are you going to be?
Isabel Fuentes? Isabel Whitman?
Or are you doing a Hillary
and be Isabel Fuentes-Whitman?
That's Mrs. Alex Whitman to you.
Pardon me.
I'm sorry. Excuse me.
Excuse me a moment.
I didn't mean to eavesdrop,
but I couldn't help but overhear.
Did you just say Alex Whitman?
From New Canaan, Connecticut?
I think that's where he's from.
Late 20s, about six feet tall,
dark hair, talks a lot with his hands?
That's him.
I'm sorry. I'm Cathy Stewart.
Our families are very old friends.
You're kidding?
That's fantastic!
I really don't know any of his friends,
so I am so glad to meet you.
I'm Isabel.
And this is Lanie.
I've missed Alex the last trips
out here. He's always so busy.
How do you know him?
I'm his wife.
I beg your pardon?
Alex and I, we're married.
And they're gonna have a baby.
A baby? Really?
Congratulations.
Isn't this a surprise?
This is some backyard.
I can see why you like it up here.
Must've been fun growing up.
You know, all these rocks...
the open space, the view...
the birds.
The snakes.
Do not move.
Everybody, do this on three.
Ready?
- Wait.
- One.
- What are we doing on three?
- Two.
- What happens on three?
- Three!
Stop! Stop!
I'm coming!
Lucy, you got some explaining to do.
Oh, my God!
What did you do to him?
He fell into some cactus.
A lot of cactus.
We gave him Tequila for the pain.
The desert made a big impression on him.
I told you to make it special, idiot!
Not to kill him.
Get the hell out of here!
You, too. Come on.
Baby?
Honey?
Whatever you do,
don't turn over.
I'm going to get the tweezers.
I'm confused.
If babies can only see
in black and white, then how come...
that Barney guy is purple?
Dinosaurs come later.
Don't sit there.
I'm doing the floors next.
Again?
I read about this.
This is the "nesting period."
It must be because I can't seem
to get this place clean enough.
Come here.
- I'm sorry. Poor baby.
- There's one still in there.
Then we'll have to take these pants off
so I can take a closer look.
Whatever you say, Doctor.
I forgot to tell you.
I ran into an old friend of yours.
- Cathy something.
- Cathy Stewart?
Really? When?
Last week,
the same day as the cactus.
I think she's jealous.
Really?
I'll get it.
Coming!
- Surprise!
- Mom! Dad!
I wanted to call first.
This was her idea.
I spoke to Cathy. She said to get
out here, see what you were up to.
She insisted!
What the hell is that?
A squirrel?
- Who is it?
- I got it, hon.
Now that is what I call a housekeeper.
Did we come at a bad time?
She's cleaning the oven,
and the fumes are...
You're here.
You're really here.
- Hi.
- Hello.
Alex, aren't you
going to introduce us?
Yes. Yes.
This is...
- Isabel.
- Isabel. Right.
Right.
It's nice to meet you.
I'm Alex's mother, Mrs. Whitman.
And this is Mr. Whitman.
Oh, my God!
You're his parents.
Oh, my God!
Look at me. I'm a mess.
It's so great to finally meet you.
Please, come in, come in.
Very friendly.
You must be exhausted.
Did you just get in?
- Would you like a drink?
- That is a great idea.
You get the drinks.
I love you.
- And I'll think of something.
- Who wants a cold beer?
- Terrific.
- I'd love one.
Don't tell them anything
until I come back.
She is wonderful!
There must be a lot of good help
around here, being so close to Mexico.
- Such a warm people.
- Isn't this a company house?
You would think they could afford
a decent decorator.
Dad, Mom,
why don't you sit down?
What's this?
Is something wrong?
Yes. I have to tell...
Isabel where the bottle opener is.
How was Europe?
Boy, you came back soon.
Europe?
Alex said you were gone
for the summer.
You know better than that.
We hate Europe in the summer.
- Too many tourists.
- Europe in the summer.
You lied to me...
all this time.
- What does that mean?
- It means you're a liar and a coward.
Sounded prettier in Spanish.
Would you excuse me a minute?
Sounds like somebody's
about to get fired.
- Isabel, I was going to tell them.
- When?
- After the baby was born?
- I didn't want to do it on the phone.
My father won't even speak to me,
but I went there.
I told him the truth.
But you don't have the balls to phone
and let them know what's going on.
My family's not like yours.
I never see them or talk to them.
Excuses! Excuses! Excuses!
You should have told them!
I wanted to do it in person!
Why is that hard for you to understand?
Here's your big chance.
Mom, Dad...
I have some interesting
and exciting news.
I'd like you to meet Isabel Fuentes...
Whitman.
Oh, my God.
I let these people come, didn't I?
That doesn't mean I have to like it.
- Mama, do something.
- Why are you being so difficult?
Because as far as I'm concerned...
these people are not her in-laws
because she's not married.
And if she's not married,
she has no in-laws.
So why am I celebrating
the Cinco de Mayo with strangers?
They're strangers because
you won't talk to them.
Tomas, either you act
like the man I married...
or tonight you sleep
with the dogs.
I hope you have
plenty of lotion on.
The desert sun kicks off this water
like a mirror.
No, I think if we stay in the shade,
we'll be fine.
Suit yourselves.
Pity you didn't bring suits.
Yes. Well,
we didn't exactly plan for this.
Jesus Christ, is it hot!
Seor, I would like
to tell you something.
I do not believe these kids
have a clue...
what they are getting into.
I couldn't agree with you more.
- Really?
- Absolutely.
Marriage is a serious commitment.
I happen to think
that it's terribly romantic.
Hon, see, you're not helping.
I have to agree with her.
You men forget how foolish you once were
chasing after us.
This is different!
They are different!
They come from a different culture,
a different world.
It's hard enough to make a marriage work
without adding to it.
Listen to the man, Alex.
He has a point.
I think they're going to start spelling
the big word soon.
Why can't you be happy for us?
Because I'm afraid for you.
This whole thing never would have
happened if he hadn't gone after...
Now, wait just a second, Tomas.
It takes two to tango.
She is as guilty as he is.
Let's just calm down, shall we?
They fell in love.
And love is a beautiful thing
Ask yourself this question, Isabelita:
Where will you live?
How will you raise your child?
- We don't know yet.
- You see?
Let's start with the economics.
They will live in New York...
because that's where his job is.
And the religion
will have to be Catholic.
- Says who?
- The mother is Catholic.
Whatever the mother is,
the baby is.
And what is the matter
with Presbyterian?
- Presbyterian is not a religion.
- I beg your pardon?
Thomas, Tomas, whatever...
this country was founded by people
escaping religious persecution.
The Whitmans were one of them!
When the west
was stolen from Mexico...
the Fuentes family made a vow...
that even though they took our land,
they'd never take our culture!
You call this culture?
Guacamole and a ghetto blaster
in the middle of a desert?
Now you're offending
Amalia's guacamole?
What's wrong with Amalia's guacamole?
In case you haven't noticed...
the white people
are melting out here!
It was 112 degrees.
I fried an egg on my head.
And he didn't mean "white."
He meant...
- He meant "not tan."
- Don't go there.
Your father wasn't helpful either
with all that Catholic talk.
Alex, the first time I realized
I was pregnant...
I got stopped at a stop light
in front of St. Viviana's.
You know what it was?
It was a sign.
Of what?
That the baby would be Catholic.
It's a good thing you weren't stopped
in front of an IHOP.
- You think that's funny?
- Religion is the opiate of the masses.
- Country clubs are full with racists.
- Yes. Right. I agree.
But do you think hanging a crucifix on
a wall will protect you from anything?
As a matter of fact I do. I believe
because I am a woman of faith.
The faith I have in that crucifix
and the faith I have in us...
all comes from the same place
inside of me.
Now you, on the other hand...
you're not even
an active Presbyterian.
So why don't you want me to carry
my faith and my belief to our child?
It's a good way to be,
a good thing to do.
It's not the only way to be,
not the only thing to do.
- Where are you going?
- You're not my favorite person now.
Well, you either.
Do you want my advice?
Get out now.
I'll even file it for you.
Who said lawyers don't have hearts?
What did you expect?
You have a relationship
built on heat.
It's like Vegas. Why didn't they just
build this city on the fuckin' sun?
Maybe you're not the guy
to talk to about this.
I'm the perfect guy to talk to
because I know what you're trying to do.
You're trying to be decent. The longer
you put this off, the worse it'II be.
Put what off?
I just said we had a fight.
You said more than that, my friend.
Look, Alex...
we're here to get a job done
and we're running behind schedule.
Can I help it if Cinco de Mayo
fell on Tuesday?
Get your priorities straight
before the shit hits the fan.
- Why? What's up?
- We had a visit from OSHA.
Will you talk to the foreman?
We came this close to a shutdown.
Jesus.
Jesus.
I will handle this, okay?
Good.
Mrs. Gonzales, please?
- May I help you?
- Isabel Fuentes-Whitman.
- I thought you had to work.
- I do.
- But I need to talk to you.
- I need to talk to you, too.
I feel bad about the way
things have been going.
Oh, no, it was my fault.
I haven't been completely honest
with you.
And I was thinking
on the way over...
Hello, Isabel.
How are we today?
We are fine.
You must be the father
I've heard so much about.
- I'm Lisa Barnes.
- Alex Whitman.
You're just in time
for the show.
You wanna watch?
Come over here.
- Is that gonna hurt her?
- No, it tickles.
Whoa! What is that?
That's your baby's heartbeat.
- It's so fast.
- It's normal.
- Neat, huh?
- Yeah.
There's the head.
There's a leg.
Wait a minute.
Is that his...
Actually I think that's an arm.
It's too early to determine
the baby's sex.
Okay, let's take the first picture
of your baby.
I'm sorry.
Me, too.
I can hear his little heartbeat.
It was going...
That's great. I spoke to New York. Guess
who is three weeks ahead of schedule?
- Charlie Peters doesn't have a life.
- I'm just saying.
Where the hell is my crane?
The foreman says first thing tomorrow.
Hello!
- Hey, Isabel.
- Wow.
- What are you doing here?
- I've come to kidnap you.
Alex, this is not a good day.
Don't make me hurt you, gringo.
It's his birthday,
and I won't take no for an answer.
- Will you cover for me?
- Please?
- Have a good time.
- Thank you, Jeff.
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
- Where're we going?
- It's a surprise.
Big surprise.
The very first time I came here...
my father told me a story about a family
of squirrels that lived on the plateau.
He said that one day
the canyon split.
Half of the squirrels ended up
on the north rim....
and the other half
on the south rim.
Over time,
the two families became different...
each adjusting
to their own environment.
The ones to the north
are dark...
bushy-tailed
and have bigger ears.
The ones to the south
are leaner...
meaner
and much prettier.
And even though they look different
and act different...
they are
the exact same squirrel.
They just grew up
on different sides.
And this canyon between them?
Will they ever be able
to cross it?
Well...
I've been thinking about
making you a deal.
If we can stay here
until the baby's born...
I'll move to New York.
Isabel, that's great!
I'm not saying I like it,
but I'll give it a try.
Oh, you've got a deal.
Good.
I'll give you your present.
There's more?
I called my new mother-in-law
and asked her to do me a little favor.
This arrived today.
I can't believe you did this!
Who said you can't have
the best of both worlds?
This is the most wonderful birthday
I've ever had.
Okay, you think this is good,
wait'll you try these.
Let's see.
This is good.
You've got five men without hard hats.
No load statement.
The bathroom doors don't meet
handicapped standards.
And I told your foreman two weeks ago
to build that ramp.
I'm gonna have to shut you down.
Whoa. Would you excuse us
for a minute?
Stanley, walk with me.
Are you gonna put 25 guys
out of work?
I mean it, Alex.
You got one week.
Anything goes wrong out here,
I mean anything, it's your ass.
I swear to God, if anything else goes
wrong, I will red-tag this place myself.
Let's forget about this
and go to lunch.
What happened?
- Get over here!
- We could take my car.
- It was a sign.
- Of course it was.
God was telling him to quit that job
and stay here with you.
No, Mama. It was like a real sign
with neon and all that stuff.
Oh. Then it was a miracle
nobody got hurt.
And when does your husband
come home?
Tonight.
He doesn't sound very good.
Wait. Which candle
am I lighting?
To keep the job
or lose the job?
To keep.
I probably should've sent you
to Tokyo.
Judd, I can open Vegas
in three weeks.
If you could pull that off...
I just might be forced to give you
the Midtown Club.
You'd still give it to me?
You're the best field man I've got.
We break ground July 1.
Jeff said it wasn't starting
until October.
Should I give it to somebody else?
The baby's due in October.
- I promised...
- Is there a problem?
No, there's no problem.
Alex, look what Petra and Antonio
got us? Isn't it cute?
We have clubs in New York, Dallas.
We have clubs in Hawaii.
We have clubs everywhere.
So with your help,
and your help...
I think this could be
the most successful club we've ever had.
Honey, let him get the club opened.
He's changed, Lanie.
I can't reach him.
Something happened in New York.
- The guy has a lot on his mind.
- It's more than that.
I think he's in trouble,
but he won't talk to me.
You think he wants out?
I don't know.
- I've been worried about you.
- Me, too. I'm getting a drink.
You shouldn't worry about anything.
It's your big night.
I think now that the club's open,
we should talk...
I am so proud of you.
This looks fantastic.
Why aren't you more excited?
It's been hectic.
It's been a lot going on.
You look great.
No, I look fat.
Oh. Feel this.
The baby likes the music.
- Oh, hi!
- Hi.
There's a teeny problem
in the kitchen.
- Okay. I'll see you?
- Yeah.
See you.
You and Jeff seem to be
getting along really well.
I hate talking to men who are prettier
than I am. It takes me days to recover.
Right.
- You all right?
- Yeah, yeah.
- This baby is mad at me about something.
- Come on, sit down.
Let's go.
Excuse me.
- I'll get Alex.
- No, no, you won't.
Wait a minute.
It'll pass.
I'll get you some water, okay?
Pardon me.
There you are.
Judd, this is my wife Isabel.
Isabel, this is my boss Judd Marshall.
- Hello.
- Hello. Nice to meet you.
- It's a real pleasure, Isabel.
- It's nice to meet you, too.
- You're in for quite an adventure.
- Oh, it has been so far.
I knew if I dangled the Midtown Club in
front of your husband he'd get on track.
- We don't need to talk...
- Excuse me?
By this time next week, you'll both
be New Yorkers. I hope you're packed.
Great work, Alex,
but I've got to get outta here.
Nightclubs give me a headache.
I'll see you the end of the week.
We can all have dinner.
- Nice meeting you, Isabel.
- I'll walk you out.
There was nothing I could do.
The job starts July 1.
- Tell them to wait.
- I can't do that.
- Can't or won't?
- I've worked too long, too hard to...
To what? To share your life
with someone who loves you?
Who cares for you?
You have to be there
every day.
What do you think
I've been killing myself for?
You knew about this for a month,
but you don't include me.
Why are you afraid of me?
Why do you alienate me
from your life?
I don't know!
I told you in the beginning...
I have no problem
raising this child on my own.
I thought we were a family.
You don't understand the concept
of a family.
To you it's something you put up with
on national holidays.
Love is a gift, Alex...
not an obligation.
This is the brass ring.
I've worked my entire life
for an opportunity like this.
I'm not giving it up because one night
I put a $5 ring on your finger...
in front of Elvis as a witness.
Hey, Cujo.
Come here.
Hello?
Lanie.
What happened?
- Maternity?
- Second floor.
- Are you all right?
- I'm all right.
Is the baby okay?
There is no baby.
What?
I've been thinking.
If I hadn't been pregnant, I wouldn't
have gone to your house that night...
and we wouldn't
have gotten married.
The baby was the reason
for us to be together.
- That's not true.
- I thought it was fate.
It was just a stupid
superstitious dream.
There are no signs, Alex.
We're too different.
- And we will always be.
- What are you saying?
I'm saying we're not meant
to be together.
- Don't do this, not now.
- This is not gonna work.
Let me help you.
Get out, Alex.
Get out!
Get out!
Don't be a putz.
These are right behind the dugout.
I can't believe you are turning down
box seats to a Yankee game.
- I've got a lot of work to do.
- You are killing me.
These girls come two to a bag.
You cannot date one without the other.
I am not up for it.
Okay, Jeff?
Get up for it.
Okay, Alex?
This monk thing is getting old.
Alex Whitman?
That's me.
Then this is for you.
Sign here.
- What is this?
- Divorce papers.
You have six days to contest.
Have a nice day.
You, too.
There you go. Life sucks.
Welcome to the club.
Now, about Friday.
Come with us.
- Whitman.
- Alex, hi. It's Cathy.
Did I catch you at a bad time?
Cathy Stewart.
Your timing is impeccable.
I heard about what happened
with you and your wife.
- I wanted to tell you how sorry I am.
- Thanks.
Listen.
Your parents are coming sailing
with us this weekend.
Is there any chance
that you could join us?
Hello?
You know what?
You've got yourself a date.
There are signs everywhere.
What did you say?
You look lost.
There are signs everywhere
to help you find your way.
South Street heliport.
There you are.
Hi, darling!
Oh, isn't this fun?
I can't remember the last time
we all got together like this.
- How are you?
- Hi, Bruce.
Understand you've been doing
great things with your club. Well done.
Wait'll you see Bruce's new boat.
- A weekend toy.
- Let's get this show on the road.
- Shall we?
- Let's go.
Are you all right?
Yes, I am.
I just have a thing
about helicopters.
Well, just stick by me then.
Here. Let me...
Thank you.
Isabel! Isabel!
Come back inside.
- Tamazula?
- Tamazula.
How do I get there?
Tranvia.
Tamazula.
What the hells a "tranvia"?
That bus over there.
Yo me llamo Alex Whitman.
I don't understand that.
You've got to be kidding.
Lanie, please. I'm probably
flying over her right now.
- When did she call?
- A couple of hours ago.
She was in Nogales, which means
she'll hit Nevada around 8:00.
Why? What are you gonna do?
Yes!
What are you, nuts?
Hey, buddy, get off the road!
Alex Whitman! What the hell!
Are you trying to get us killed?
- I'm not giving you a divorce.
- You're too late.
I've got till 12:00.
Alex, it's over.
Get the hell off the road!
There was a priest.
He said there were signs everywhere.
- What priest?
- Right by the hot dogs.
Then you add the chihuahua,
the Grand Canyon...
and a little girl named Isabel.
There are signs everywhere!
- I don't believe in signs anymore.
- Yes, you do.
Yes, you do!
And you were wrong.
The baby didn't bring us together.
It was something bigger.
I just didn't believe it
until now.
Don't do this.
I love you.
I love you so much it hurts.
What the hell is going on
with your stomach?
- Just go home!
- You're still pregnant.
- You're still pregnant!
- I know!
How could you lie to me about that?
How could you do that to me?
I was afraid.
I tried to reach you, but I couldn't.
- You lied to me, so I lied to you.
- I know.
I was wrong and I'm sorry,
but I'm here now.
Don't you know what this means?
We're gonna have a baby!
No, I'm gonna have a baby.
You're gonna call 911.
- Why?
- Because my water just broke.
But we're on a dam!
Excuse me.
The ambulance is on its way.
Should be here in 10 minutes.
Sir, is this your wife?
- Yes.
- No.
Could we move you over
to the main building?
She's not going anywhere. These
contractions are on top of each other.
Hear that? The contractions
are on top of each other.
- I'm not deaf, I'm in labor.
- Oh, my God!
- We're having a baby!
- I hate you.
- I hate you! I hate you!
- They always say that.
You can do this. You're
the bravest person I've ever known.
- What'd she say?
- She said she loves me.
- Can't live without me.
- Okay, folks.
It looks like we're gonna have this baby
right here, right now.
Let's give her some air.
The baby's coming, but don't worry.
I'm right here.
Go away. You're bad luck.
No, I'm never leaving you again.
Get away from me!
Oh, baby, don't go, please.
I'm so sorry for everything.
I need you so much.
I love you. Wow.
You're breaking my hand.
The baby has crowned.
Start pushing.
There's a blanket in my car
for the baby.
Just push. Push.
Say something.
- I rode a mule.
- No wonder you stink.
- Your great grandmother kissed me.
- You went to Aguascalientes?
Yeah. Yeah.
- Here's the blanket.
- The head is out.
Okay, breathe. This is it.
This is it!
Push! Breathe! Breathe!
Okay, Isabel, one more big push
should do it.
It's a girl.
It's a beautiful girl.
She's so beautiful.
That was a little superstitious,
don't you think?
I don't want to tempt fate.
Do you think she'll like living
in New York?
Not as much as she'll like
camping in the desert.
With a few Gray's Papaya Hot Dogs.
- Oh, no!
- What?
We're divorced.