Forbidden Fruits (2026) Movie Script
1
-[ Radio dialing ]
-Hey, ladies...
-Dallas is finally starting
to cool down, y'all.
-That's why...
-We're just a wish away
-I had
a strange premonition.
-...show fueled
by lattes.
-Ed Sheeran's back on tour
at the Dallas...
-I want to hear about
your worst friends. Call us...
-The queen passed out
In her balcony
when I came out
The king
ordered his men
To close their eyes
and say a prayer out loud
Scantily clad woman
Scantily clad man
Scantily clad woman
Scantily clad man
The pope fled at once
When I walked upstage
and had no shame
-[ Moans ]
-The knights went to war
When I kissed her
in that pink beret
-[ Blows ]
Oh, what a big disgrace
-Oh, fuck! My dick!
Ow!
-Scantily clad woman
Scantily clad man
Scantily clad woman
Ooooh ooh ooh
-Skin clear, hair shiny
Girls and gays like me
Tap, I'm on your screen
-Lunchtime, freaks.
-Oh, my God,
it's the Free Eden girls.
It's impossible
to get a job there.
They're like mall royalty.
-Here comes mother.
-The Fruits are so hot.
-Isn't there a fourth one?
-I heard she went crazy.
-Cherry...
-Wait, don't they pay?
-We don't charge the Fruits.
-Apple's a bitch.
-She's so much more than that.
-I serve my Pop Girl Chic
-I need my shawarma.
Gimme, gimme!
Thank you.
-Do you want some?
-No.
-I heard she was a wrangler.
-She waved at me once.
-Oh, my God,
I want to be her.
-My cowgirl.
-Her fits are pristine.
-You hungry?
-What?
-Oh, my God.
-[ Laughs ]
-Want some ranch with that?
-Look.
Did you see them?
-Give me the goss, bitch.
-Oh, my God.
-See you Wednesday.
-Bye!
-I love Fig.
She's my favorite.
-Go!
-God, I wish I was named
after a fruit.
-Colin, get real.
-I want them
to spit in my mouth.
-God, they are so hot.
-Bro, she doesn't even know
you exist.
-The way that I am walking,
it's my accessory
-Fig, hit 10K today.
Cherry, you get to help me
unbox the new shipment.
I'm basically
selling for two now,
so if I want to make manager...
-Wait, are you preggy?
-No!
No, she's talking about --
-Don't say her name.
She does not work here anymore.
Obvi I'm not pregnant.
What if I had a boy and had to
name him, like,
Bob or some shit?
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
Apple, you would make such
a better manager than Sharon.
-Yeah. Whatever it takes
to get rid of [growling] Sharon.
-[ Growling ] Sharon.
-I think gummy bears
are making me high.
-Yeah,
you need a new addiction
like I need a tiny
little bolero jacket.
-Wait, what if we asked Sharon
to hire someone new
to replace
She Who Shall Not Be Named?
-No, I do not need
another cracked-out mini-me.
-Yeah, we don't need anybody,
Fig.
We're ride or die.
-Oh!
We do not take the escalator
in our skinny heels.
-I'm going pee.
-Okay.
-Alone. 'Kay, bye.
-Okay.
-Hey, y'all.
-[ Gasps ] Ooh!
Free samples.
-No!
Hey.
Um, I don't know
what you do at these ren faires,
but, you know, here at the mall
we don't talk to
the Sister Sweet's, Fig.
-Um, actually,
it's Sister Salt's.
-Okay, okay, okay, okay!
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
Put that back. Put that down.
Put that down.
Yeah.
Okay, let's go.
-Bye.
-No, don't wave at her!
-What?
-She'll get the wrong idea.
And Apple says
that [speaks indistinctly]
-[ Laughter ]
-And Parmesan cheese?
-And then I threw
my hot coffee on his dick.
-Wait,
your coffee or your latte?
-Latte. Stop. This is serious.
-Oh, my God, I'm sorry.
You're right.
-My hot latte on his dick
'cause obviously I was not gonna
let this man come.
-Oh, my God, of course.
-But you know what
the most beautiful part is?
-I got you an extra latte
this morning.
I had the forethought
to get you an extra latte.
It's like we're rebelling
against the patriarchy together.
-Cherry, you have to work
on this compulsion you have
to make yourself
the main character
in everyone else's story.
-It's exhausting.
-Yeah.
-This better be something
I can sell the shit out of.
-Hey, ladies.
So, for you, that'll be 800.
Thank you.
And this three-piece is
actually on sale for 2,500.
You're so lucky.
-I know. It's great.
-Ah, the receipts
will be e-mailed to you.
Thank you.
Oh, my God. Hi!
Oh, these are so good.
Have you ever tried them
all together at once?
It's, like, amazing.
-Oh!
Glitter miniskirts.
The Hilary Duff collab
is back.
Thank Goddess.
-I'm such a Gordo.
-No, you're a Miranda.
Fig's a Gordo.
-What's your name again?
-Pumpkin.
-Dead-ass?
-Dead-ass what?
-Wait, is that like,
a flavor or something?
-No, it's my name.
-I knew there was
something special about you.
-You did?
-Yeah.
Sorry, we just have a thing
about Sister Salt's.
It's, like,
bottom of the food chain.
Next to Keep Calm and Cookie On,
you know what I mean?
Kind of invisible to us.
Sorry.
-It's okay.
My job doesn't define me.
My hotness
and my personality do.
And are you guys hiring?
-[ Beep ]
Fig, have you hit 10K yet?
'Cause Cherry and I are up here
working our fucking tits off.
We need you
to pull your weight.
Love you, babe.
-Copy, Apple.
-Who's that?
-Why don't you come back
tomorrow,
but don't bring the pretzels,
okay?
They're like poison here.
Actually, bring the pretzels,
but only bring
the cinnamon ones.
Apple loves cinnamon.
Naturally.
-Thanks, Fig.
-Thanks, Pumpkin.
-[ Beep ]
Hey, Fruits.
So I know that we don't want to
hire anyone else,
but I just met this
supercute girl.
Her essence is so boho babe,
and she has
a great personality.
She's a bit of a fixer-upper,
but I told her
to come back tomorrow.
Okay, I got to go.
There's a woman down here
wearing sweatpants
and going through a breakup.
It's a lot.
Okay, bye.
-Ohhhhhh!
Fuck!
-I keep telling you
your nails are a safety hazard.
-[ Moans ]
But I like them so much.
-Freshly baked pretzel?
-I love cinnamon.
-I heard.
-Do I know you?
-I don't think so.
I just got here last week.
-Are you looking for a job,
babe?
Bright and early?
-I have a job.
-Do you like this job?
-I get that dough.
-Fig, get me an application.
-Mm-hmm.
-They look like
little shits.
So how do you take
your coffee?
-I don't. It makes me vom.
I drink tea.
-Okay, we can work on that.
Do you ever feel alone
sometimes?
-I have a heart tattoo
on my pinky.
-Mm.
-I think anybody
with a tiny heart
tattooed on their body
is deeply alone.
-Mm-hmm.
-I think I got it
because my parents
couldn't afford to buy me
American Girl dolls
when I was little.
I think I'd like
to be a doll myself.
I'd like for someone
to braid my hair.
-Oh, my God!
So rude.
What's your name?
-Pumpkin.
-Yeah, I know.
It's really Pumpkin.
-We're all fruits
here at Free Eden.
-what are you up to tonight?
-Uh, well,
I was gonna go home
and make a chocolate cake
with my mom.
-But, like, what do you want to
be up to tonight?
[ Chimes sound ]
-Attention, shoppers.
The Dallas Highland Place Mall
is now closed.
Please make your way
to the exit.
-Burn it.
Come on.
-So are you from Oklahoma?
-Uh, what?
No.
-Oh, that's crazy,
because you were
totally giving off
a scissor-tailed
flycatcher vibe.
Happens all the time.
That's the state bird
of Oklahoma.
-Um, are we allowed
to be in here?
-Technically, no.
I know a lot
about state birds.
No one really liked me
in high school,
so I know a lot
about state birds.
-What's the state bird
of Texas?
-Holy shit. Uh...
Holy shit, I'm blanking on it.
Oh, my God. Oh...
-Are you from Texas?
I'm just -- I'm from Plano.
-Oh, yeah.
I'm from Irving.
It's over
by the Cowboys' stadium.
And then Apple is
from Grapevine,
which is actually
kind of close to you.
And then Cherry is
from Highland Park.
-Whoa.
-Oh, don't worry.
She's not rich.
After her whole family died,
she didn't inherit anything.
Life insurance system
is so broken,
you know what I mean?
-After her entire family died?
-Well, yeah.
Apple and Cherry are part
of an elite dead-dads club.
-Me too.
-[ Gasps ] FOMO!
The northern mockingbird.
[ Laughs ]
That's the state bird of Texas.
The northern mockingbird.
I can't believe I forgot
that one.
You ask a lot
of questions, Pumpkin.
I like it.
-Blow me.
Blow me.
-I don't really smoke.
-It's not smoking,
it's praying.
You're a natural, babe.
Welcome to Paradise.
-Put on your hat,
psychic cat
Tell us the news
As we cruise
-Cru-u-u-u-u-ise
-Where do you go
when we blow?
You look so fine
-Of the tree.
Winter.
-Of the root.
Summer.
-Cherry's sober.
-Okay.
Cool.
-Okay, now you say
where your fruit comes from
and the peak season.
-So you would say,
"Of the..."
"Bush. Spring."
-Uh, okay.
Of the...dirt.
And, uh, Halloween.
-It's a vine.
Pumpkins grow on vines.
I looked it up.
I Googled it.
Just to make sure that it was
actually also a fruit --
-Cherry.
You need to be more trusting.
That's another unattractive
quality we have to work on.
-Sorry.
I just couldn't pass up
the opportunity
for a good background check.
-Y'all, Halloween is
in the fall.
-I know.
-That's bananas.
-We've finally completed
the retail season.
-Well, if we agree
that a pumpkin is a fruit,
because some scientists believe
that it's actually a vegetable.
-I'm sorry, Cherry, do you
actually fucking hate women?
-What?
-I thought you were
ride or die, babe.
-I am.
I am both ride and die.
-Oh, so are you staying,
or are you going?
-Um...
[ Inhales sharply ]
Oh, my God.
The retail cycle is complete.
This is cosmic.
-Let's begin the induction.
[ Clears throat ]
[ Intoning ]
[ Intoning stops ]
-Okay, I'm sorry,
but what is freaking going on?
-What do you mean, babes?
-Is it -- Is it --
Is that blood?
Um, I just, um...
Is it weird
that I'm confused right now?
-Yeah.
-Mm-hmm.
-Are you guys witches?
-What is your definition
of a witch?
-Um...broomsticks and spells,
I guess.
-And Nicole Kidman.
-[ Gasps ] Yes.
-I studied the occult,
alchemy, astrology,
astral projection.
-Where our consciousness
can exist without our bodies.
-Fig, has a degree
in astrophysics.
-I'm saving up
for grad school.
-Our magic isn't
some witch-talk rip-off
fluffy-bunny bullshit.
To put it simply,
our magic
is the mundane shit
you would have been executed for
in Salem.
Being a witch
is being a sister.
And we all need sisterhood
to survive.
That's why I created Paradise.
You must follow three rules.
-Rule one --
We follow the shine theory.
Shine theory states
women illuminate
when they surround themselves
with other women who shine,
and they don't do anything
to dim their light.
-Rule two -- the vindicar.
The demon that derives pleasure
from other people's
pain and misery.
You must banish vindicars.
-And most importantly,
rule three --
We only text boys
using emojis.
Right, Fig?
-Well, Norman's not
my boyfriend, so...
-He better not be.
[ Chanting ] Goats milk,
thigh gaps,
rose petals, bone caps,
truffle oil, bitch slap,
blood clots, juice press.
-Hold my finger.
-Slap me.
-[ Exhales sharply ]
What?
-Do it.
-No.
-Boo.
I really thought you --
[ Exhales sharply ]
Oh, my gosh,
I'm -- I'm so sorry. I...
-No worries, babe.
That was the last ingredient.
Drink up.
Good girl.
Come with.
Welcome to confessional.
This is a safe space
where we confess our sins
to the ultimate femme martyr.
You must address her
by her stage name.
-Which is?
-Marilyn.
Monroe.
Duh.
No man could control her.
Not even the president.
And we honor that sacrifice.
-Am I supposed to look
in the mirror?
-Yeah, babe.
-Uh, wait, but I just,
I don't --
I don't have anything
to confess, so...
-I wouldn't be so sure
about that.
-Uh...
Marilyn.
Hello, Marilyn.
Well, I guess it's
kind of cool to finally have
some female friends.
I just...
I don't know
if I buy all of this.
The whole
"girls supporting girls" thing.
Paradise.
The shine theory.
[ Laughs ]
I mean,
don't -- don't get me wrong.
I -- I wish it was real,
but...
I guess sisterhood just
doesn't come naturally to me.
And look, I-I tried to be
the girl with the...
matching friendship tattoos
and -- and the burning sage,
but, uh, it didn't really --
didn't really work.
All I was left with was,
you know,
a weird heart on my knuckle
and a hamster with asthma.
That's...well.
I mean, maybe she's not a...
Maybe she could finally teach me
how to...
[ Door closes in distance ]
Apple? Hello?
Are you all down here?
Oh.
What? No!
Bitches!
Fuck!
Hey, mom. Um, yeah. Sorry, I --
Yeah. I'm okay.
I'm having -- I'm having
a slumber party tonight.
Yeah. It's her.
I don't know,
but...I'm gonna find out.
[ P.A. chimes ]
-Good morning, shoppers.
The mall stores will open
in 30 minutes.
-Power walking is hard.
-Is she deceased?
Her latte is gonna get cold.
-You smell that?
-Yeah.
Smells like puppy's breath
and cinnamon sticks.
-Is someone wearing --
-The Mojave body mist?
Yeah, I'm wearing it.
-Hair down, hoops on
Bottoms up, pop the trunk
Dirty shoes, cowhide rug
You know
we don't give a fuck
Said I wouldn't dare
cross over
Watch me take
this whole shit over
-You are so Andy Sachs
right now.
-I got you
a pumpkin spice latte.
-Coffee makes me vom.
-Miranda Priestly would totally
take you to Paris.
-You might be ready
for your trial shift.
-I'm not already hired?
-Oh, no, Sharon has to
approve of you first.
-Who is Sharon?
-The manager.
-For now.
-Ride the boat,
you might get booked
Pull you up
by your bootstraps
Pull you up
by your bootstraps
Pull you up
by your bootstraps
Pull you up
by your bootstraps
-What did he look like?
-He looked like a critter.
-Oh, okay.
-Perf.
-You could take this one,
Pumpkin.
-Hi!
Um, anything
I can help you with today?
-Uh, what do girls like?
-Uh...
-Hey, Belinda,
stop chasing Mackenzie.
Sorry, I'm a bit of a mess.
-Oh, don't I know it?
I used to put my dad through
all sorts of shenanigans,
but, you know, don't worry.
They'll always be
daddy's little girls at heart.
I know I still am.
Um, so what --
what can I help you with?
-Uh --
-Hey, babe.
-Oh. Hi.
-Momfluencer.
-Yeah.
-Oh, my God.
Do you have sand
in your ass crack?
Because you are giving
beach babe.
Where is your tan from?
-Oh, we were just in Galveston.
-But I'm not sure
if it's big enough
because they want it to block
both my face and my baby.
-That is so thoughtful of you.
I honestly think if I had a kid,
I would never think of them.
-[ Chuckles ] Oh, my God,
what is her name?
-Oh, it's a boy.
-Sorry.
-You just need a little fabric,
sweetie.
Just a little.
-Ooh!
-Houdini over here.
-[ Chuckles ] Ah...ah?
-Oh.
-Galveston.
Virgin Mary, holy being.
-Are you a poet?
-No, I'm a witch.
You conjure confidence
here at Free Eden.
And, babe, this is just --
-You look amazing.
-Gorge.
-Wow.
-Baby!
-Good luck, take it all
I don't need it
-Thank you!
-Bye, girls!
-Thank you so much.
-He was so sweet.
Makes me really miss my dad.
-What, because he bought them
stuff, he's a good guy?
They probably caught him
with his mistress or something.
It's called a payoff present.
-You don't know that.
-Men are two faced, Pumpkin.
Come on.
[ Thump ]
[ Thump ]
-What was that?
-Nothing.
Code dill.
I repeat, code dill.
Go upstairs. Don't engage.
-Do y'all know her?
-Copy, code dill.
Vindicar.
-Apple, in my office.
-Yes.
Reporting another incident.
Apple, this cannot happen
again with the new girl.
-It won't.
Let's go on a field trip.
You have so much potential,
Pumpkin.
I see so much of myself in you.
You know, when I was a sales
girl, not yet a saleswoman,
I had a knack for making
something out of nothing.
Even when I was a tiny little
Apple, I had a green thumb.
I made my own Paradise
out of...
playgrounds, doll houses,
oversized Costco boxes.
Because I had to.
-Had to what?
-Survive.
Women who don't have a garden
won't grow.
What did that one bitch say,
"a room of one's own"?
-Virginia Woolf.
-No, that doesn't sound right.
Anyways, we have to create
spaces for ourselves.
Rip out the weeds.
Throw out the snakes.
There's always work to be done
to protect your garden.
We can do it together.
-Are you looking to buy?
-Yeah, if I can find it.
-Look at what
we already accomplished today.
When we met,
I felt this connection.
Like blood.
-You did?
-Did you?
Which is why I'm happy to say...
...you're hired, babe.
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
Where the fuck is
the pumpkin charm?
Thank you so much.
I could have used
that about ten minutes ago.
Jane is the ultimate girl boss.
She really does it all.
I wish I could hold down
that many jobs.
OMG, Pumpkin.
Jane Does Detective
is my favorite.
Look at her little khaki trench!
You shouldn't have.
-I mean, well,
you needed a talisman
and she is the ultimate
girlboss.
-So true.
-My talisman is
Shirley Temple.
-The, uh, dead child actress?
-No, no.
My 9-year-old Scottish fold.
It's the same kind of cat
that Taylor Swift has.
-A lot of people thought
that she discovered Ed Sheeran,
but she didn't.
-We should name her Marilyn.
-Oh, no, no, no.
I think she should be part
of the group.
-You should do the honors
of unpacking those.
-Oh, Apple.
I had dibs on the stilettos.
-Oh, are you literally
an infant?
-Well, no.
-You can unbox these, babe.
-Do you think Pumpkin is
Apple's Mini-Me?
Why does she like her so much?
Keep your enemies close.
-Hi.
-Hey.
-What are you guys doing?
-Yeah, no, we're just --
-I love your hair.
-Happy winter solstice.
Fall is over.
Pumpkin has completed
her retail cycle.
So, we celebrate
her first month with us
and welcome...
the birth of the sun.
-The birth of the sun.
-When you're lying here
in my arms
I'm finding it
hard to believe
-Open up.
-We're in heaven
Now nothing can change
what you mean to me
There's a lot
that I could say
But just hold me now
Because our love
will light the way
Baby, you're all that I want
When you're lying here
in my arms
I'm finding it
hard to believe
We're in heaven
-What did we take?
-Sequins.
It's a placebo, babe.
This is just what
Paradise feels like.
-...there in your heart
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven
We're in heaven
-Hi.
-[ Gasps ]
-What is that?
-It's my planner.
-Oh.
-Apple has me
on a strict schedule.
-Mm.
-You know, for, like,
my mental health.
You know what?
On Wednesdays, I have therapy.
I need somebody to cover for me.
If you're lucky,
that could be you.
[ Both chuckle ]
-So, um...
...Apple has a calendar for you?
That is kind of controlling.
-Apple helped me get sober.
And not, like, sad sober.
Like fun, hot sober.
And she's helping me
with a lot of --
You know what?
I shouldn't dump truck
my issues on you.
We're working on that, too.
I have a really bad case
of main character syndrome.
-Guys, come dance with me.
-Okay.
-Confessional for you tonight,
Fig.
-[ Clears throat ] What?
-Cherry said you ditched her
to meet Norman.
-No, I didn't.
-Stop.
We have proof.
-We had plans
to walk wistfully
through the parking lot
at sunset.
I had to walk wistfully
by myself.
-Okay.
-Isn't it time
to drink your...
-Forgive me, Marilyn...
...for...
I want to build an Ikea couch
with Norman.
[ Chuckles ]
I want to talk to him in words,
not emojis.
It's my mother's
dream come true.
She always wanted me to be a
part of someone else's toolbox.
To be used and put away.
I watched my mother
love someone entirely
and give up on herself.
I got piercings
so I wouldn't give up on myself.
Got a physics degree
so I wouldn't give up on myself.
I allowed myself to find peace
and freedom in Paradise
so I wouldn't give up on myself.
And I still feel alone.
And then I met him.
And he complimented me on
my music taste and my piercings.
And he told me that
his name was Norman,
and, Marilyn, you know
that "Psycho"
is my favorite movie.
He just wants me around.
But now I feel split in two.
And I am terrified
that I am going to get
the same haircut as my mother.
Is she happy?
-Whoa, I don't
want to text that.
-Well, I'm glad you changed.
-Did you lock your car
this time?
-Um, where did I...
Yeah, I think so.
-You parked right there.
-Bye. Good night.
-Bye, Pumpkin.
-Bye! I love you.
-I love you so much.
-Oh! It is cold.
-[ Chuckling ] Bye.
[ Line ringing ]
Hi, Mom.
Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm sorry
I missed your calls.
Yeah, I'll pick up Betty Crocker
on the way home.
Yes. I'm being safe.
I don't know yet,
but I think I can crack
the other two to find out.
-Wow.
-She can ring you up right now.
-Yeah.
-Okay. Yeah, sure.
Are you --
-Don't you want to make
the sale?
-Oh, no.
It's time for me to go.
-Oh, right. Yes.
Yeah. Therapy.
It's Wednesday. Have fun.
-Yeah.
-[ Whispering ] Hey,
how you doing, li'l mama?
Let me whisper in ya ear
Tell ya something
that ya might like to hear
Got a sexy ass body
and your ass look soft
-Bye.
Oh! Wait.
I forgot something.
-And they say a closed mouth
don't get fed
So, I don't mind
askin' for head
You heard what I said
We need to make our way
to the bed
-Around my neck.
Therapy!
-Okay.
-Toot it up, slapping ass,
gurl the sex get rough
Switch position and let the
dick get down to business
Just wait till you see
my dick
Just wait
till you see my dick
Wait till you see my dick,
hey, bitch
Wait till you see my dick
-[ Moaning ]
-Wait till you see my dick,
hey, bitch
Wait till you see my dick
I'm gonna beat that pussy up
Like bam, bam, bam, bam,
bam, bam, bam, bam
Beat the pussy up,
beat the pussy up
Beat the pussy up,
beat the pussy up
Beat the pussy up,
beat the pussy up
Beat the pussy up,
beat the pussy up
You fine, but I ain't gon'
sweat you
See, I wanna fuck,
tell me what's up
Walk around the club
with your thumb in your mouth
Put my dick in,
take your thumb out
That might be a li'l kosher
to deal wit
-My little gumdrop!
-Yeah, it's on like that
But it depend on the swing
of the baseball bat
Fuck the bitch on the counter
and make the plates fall back
-I'm so excited.
[ Moaning ]
Oh, leave us alone.
Leave us alone. Bye! Bye!
-Wait till you see my dick
-Keep going! Keep going!
Oh, Pumpkin!
Pumpkin!
Cookie man, put me down!
-What? Oh, fuck!
-Hey. Hey, babe.
Um, I just --
I wanted to make sure
that you...
ate.
-That's so sweet.
Um...I ate.
-Shit.
I, uh, I gotta go.
-He's gotta go.
-I bet I burnt the, uh,
snickerdoodles.
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
Um, [clears throat]
give me a sec.
[ Sighs ]
Can you help me? My nails --
-Yes. Oh, my gosh.
-Nails.
-Yeah.
I got you.
-Oh.
Where's the craziest place
you've ever had sex?
-Um, I'm a virgin.
-[ Laughs ]
Really?
-Yeah.
-That's so adorable.
You know what?
I've been thinking.
You should be my new Mini-Me.
-Um, Mini-Me?
-Yeah.
We should get matching tattoos.
Look, please don't tell Apple
about this.
-Um, why?
-Well, I just have enough
unattractive qualities.
-What, so,
Apple doesn't like sex?
-No, Apple doesn't like
when I have sex on Wednesdays.
-But you always have sex
on Wednesdays.
-What?
-Well, isn't today Wednesday?
You know what?
Free pass if you're wearing
Tuesday, right?
-You know, the schedule is
actually kind of nice
because, um, she's just trying
to make sure I stay sober,
and I don't get dick-whipped.
-Right, but what's wrong
with dick?
I mean, she's like this
with Fig, too, right?
-Apple means well.
She just...
She had bad experiences
growing up with her dad.
You know, the way he treated
her mom and her,
basically abandoned them.
It's not my story to tell...
but he sucks.
R.I.P...
R.I...something, not "P."
-Are y'all stealing?
Because if you're stealing,
there's cameras around here,
y'all.
-No, we're not stealing.
[ Both chuckle ]
Hey, listen.
I will not tell Apple, Cherry.
I mean, a Mini-Me
wouldn't do that, right?
-Pumpkin!
Okay, and I won't tell her
that you're a virgin
because she also hates virgins.
-Oh.
-Okay.
[ Both giggle ]
-Hey.
-Hello.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-Hey.
-Oh, I, um...
-Oh, my God,
that's so nice.
-Yeah, I...
-You're so sweet.
-I don't know.
I mean, okay, yeah.
-Oh, my God,
I have the best Mini-Me ever.
-Really?
-Yes.
[ Both giggle ]
-What are you reading?
-Um, state birds, you know,
just...
-Okay. [ Chuckles ]
-It's my...
-Isn't that Fig's thing?
-Well, you know, I want to get
to know all of you,
but, I mean, I mean,
okay, hold on.
Wait a second.
There's some good stuff in here.
-Thank you for covering me,
Pum.
-Hey, Sharon, can you cover me
at the register for a sec?
I gotta go drop the kids
off at the pool.
Okay. Thank you. Bye.
-[ Clears throat ]
-Hi.
Babe, you know, I love to dip.
-Thumbs up emoji.
-Oh, um, uh, bee emoji.
Boy and girl kissing emoji,
red heart emoji,
and red question emoji?
-Norman,
no one's watching me here.
You can just verbally ask me
what you want to ask me.
-Would you be my girlfriend?
-[ Gasps ]
-Huh? What do you think?
-Yes.
-What?
-I said yes.
-She said yes, everyone!
And that's not even
the best part.
-How could it get any better?
-I got us tickets
to see Ed Sheeran.
-No!
-Yes!
I just sent them to you.
What's up?
-Wait.
I thought I left it at --
-Spooky ringtone, babe.
-What do you want?
-I just came
to bring you your phone.
-I really can't lose --
It is very hard for me
to make friends.
Just like the Great Horned Owl.
-Really?
I feel like you're more
of a rosy-faced lovebird.
Super social and kind.
-You've learned about birds
for me?
-The northern mockingbird
can sing
up to 200 different songs
and sounds from other --
-[ Together ] Insects
and amphibians.
-Okay.
Have you ever seen "Psycho"?
-No. Ew. Hate horror movies.
Bleh. [ Chuckles ]
-Okay, well, Norman was named
after Norman Bates
because he's such a mama's boy.
-Oh, that's so cute.
-He's so loving.
He's my favorite boy
in the whole wide world.
Pumpkin, please do not tell them
and take that away from me.
-Oh, no, that's
not what I'm trying to do.
-Cherry and Apple
will not understand.
-I think Cherry
will understand.
She's fucking
all of the food court
on Wednesdays.
-What?
She's not allowed to have sex
on Wednesdays.
-Yeah, I just I don't understand
all of these secrets.
And why are you
so afraid of Apple?
-We can't let history
repeat itself.
-Fig, you're not making
any sense right now.
And we're in a little bit
of a pickle here.
-Oh, my God!
So, you know her name?
-What? Who?
-Pickle isn't a fruit.
Pickle isn't a fruit.
Pickle isn't a fruit.
Pickle isn't a fruit.
Pickle isn't a fruit.
Pickle isn't a fruit.
-Pull yourself together, Fig.
What -- What happened?
-Pickle was
the perfect boho babe.
Sun-kissed blonde hair,
zero daddy issues
and effortlessly Gorgina George.
Apple immediately knew
she'd found her Mini-Me.
It's a guttural feeling.
Kind of like finding a soulmate,
you know?
-It's perfect.
-Okay.Calm down.
-They were as glued together
as Pickle's glitter fake lashes.
We all loved her.
We were like the four elements,
living in complete harmony.
But then...
then, Pickle met Ashton.
Ashton was Avril "Sk8r Boi" hot,
a wannabe bad boy.
-Are you hungry?
-And it rubbed off on Pickle.
She even started wearing
mini UGG boots to rebel
against the Free Eden
dress code.
It got nasty fast.
Apple was furious.
After Pickle skipped
her third Paradise,
because obviously
Ashton was more important,
Apple told us we were gonna
try something fucking lit.
A hex.
-Stop.
-She didn't tell us against who,
just that they deserved it.
-What you have done to me,
let it rebound on you tenfold.
I curse your ugliness
and cruelty.
I condemn you, snake.
-I condemn you, snake.
-I condemn you, snake.
-I condemn you, snake.
-Next thing we knew,
Ashton was in a coma.
Like some "Grey's Anatomy"
type shit.
They think someone
at Free Eden poisoned him,
but no one knew who.
And Pickle, she lost it.
-Okay, wait.
Poisoned?
With what?
-Tyler! Oh, my God.
This is a private conversation.
Get out!
Girl, I don't know.
I'm not his next of kin.
All I can tell you
is that the police got involved,
and Pickle was committed
to a hospital.
-For how long?
-A while.
And that's when corporate
brought in Sharon.
-Why?
-I don't know,
they thought that Free Eden
could become a toxic workplace
or something
and they wanted someone
to oversee us,
which we don't need
because we're obviously women
supporting other women.
That's why Apple hates her,
because she's not supporting us.
Not really, anyway.
I can't let anything happen
to Norman.
-What do you mean?
-Whatever that hex was,
what we did was dangerous, babe.
[ Indistinct conversations ]
-[ Muffled ]
Mall's closed today!
[ Whirring ]
[ Gasps ]
Wait!
Wait, wait, wait.
Pickle?
-Run.
-What happened to you?
-She's dangerous.
She hurts the ones she loves.
She hurts the ones she loves.
She hurts the ones she loves.
She hurts the ones she loves.
No.
-Sharon?
-In the break room.
-Hey, Sharon.
Um, can I talk to you for a sec?
-Yeah. Come on in.
-I need to show you something.
-What is it?
-I had a strange premonition
You visit me in a vision
Hands on my thighs and your
eyes on my prize, Lord
Naught could deflect
this collision
-Pumpkin, come to my office
15 before your shift ends
today.
We need to talk
about chino pants.
Don't tell the girls.
-Sorry, Sharon.
I, uh, folded them wrong.
-Who taught you
how to fold those?
Don't worry.
I'll come with you on this one.
-It's like the fourth time that
she's called you in this week.
-Yeah, she only ever
calls in Apple
because Apple's
always getting in trouble.
-Yeah, I can talk to her alone.
It's fine.
-I will teach her
how to fold the chino pants.
From now on, don't worry
about Sharon, babe.
Come.
-Chino pants are
a very awkward length.
-Hey, guys.
I talked to Sharon
and everything's --
-Change into this, babe.
You look like you've seen
someone wearing white
after Labor Day.
A snake is attempting
to enter our garden, ladies.
Sharon may be plotting
to fire Pumpkin.
We must protect our crops
by any means necessary.
-Dude, come on.
-Yeah, maybe we could just do
some cute dark magic,
like...the spell
for eternal dandruff.
-No. Stop fucking around.
-I don't hate Sharon.
-What are you even talking
about, Pumpkin?
We don't know what
Sharon is capable of.
She could destroy us.
And that is
why we need to do this hex.
Sharon is a snake.
She's always been a snake.
And you know how we handle
snakes in our garden.
-Like how you handled
Ashton and Pickle?
What did you say?
Who told her?
Do we have another snake
amongst us?
We all did that hex,
including Pickle.
And we went into it agreeing
that whoever deserved
the punishment would receive it.
-Well, we can't do this.
-Just be grateful
it isn't Norman.
-[ Whispering ] Fig.
-You don't trust me, babe?
I thought I was your BFF.
-You are.
-What you have done to me,
let it rebound on you tenfold.
I curse your ugliness
and cruelty.
Uh, hello?
-I condemn you, snake.
-I condemn you, snake.
-I condemn you, snake.
Babe, you have to join
in order for it to work.
We're literally doing this
for you.
-I condemn you, snake.
[ Indistinct conversations ]
-Aah!
-Hey, Pum.
I got you some liquid courage.
-How many times do I have to
tell you I don't drink coffee?
-Oh, girl,
it's just a matcha latte.
I got you.
-Oh.
Um, what are you still
doing here?
-Apple made us swear
to stick around
for your talk with Sharon.
-Why can't I do anything
by myself?
-Babe, we all just
want to support you.
We're worried about you,
you know?
-Nooo!
-Aaaaah!
Oh, my God.
Come on.
-Aaah!
-Um...
I think -- I think
the hex backfired.
-We never said Sharon's
name in the spell, Apple.
What if it hit Pickle instead?
-What if this is our fault?
-Let's get out of here.
-Apple.
-Please don't fire Pumpkin.
-What are you talking about?
-What did you do to Pickle?
-Why are you accusing me?
All I ever do around here
is try to help people.
I am an empath, Sharon.
I am trying to make
the world a better place.
-Do you think you can make
the world a better place
by getting rid of someone?
-What are you talking about?
Are you going to tell corporate?
-Tell corporate what?
-Do you feel bad?
-What?
-About Pickle.
Do you feel bad?
-Why would I feel bad?
I didn't push her.
-You didn't?
-Did you?
-It's all falling apart.
-Not on my watch.
[ Cellphone chimes ]
-[ Sighs ]
[ Laughs ]
Forgive me, Marilyn,
for I have sinned.
Some people in Highland Park
think I'm dead.
I never corrected them.
You know, if your entire family
dies in a fire,
I guess you sort of die, too.
I just miss the ones I loved
that died in a house
that burned in two minutes
while I was fucking
the prom king
in a donut shop parking lot.
You know, Shirley Temple
found me there,
and she told me
about the fire, but...
I don't really feel
alive anymore.
Except when I'm with Apple.
Men definitely don't think
I'm alive.
They just want to buy me
with diamonds.
I think they think it's fun
to fuck a ghost.
They don't care about me
like Apple does.
Diamonds are a girl's
best friend.
You said that.
[ Chuckles ]
Is Apple still my best friend?
I thought I could be
her antidote.
That was foolish of me.
She will always be
that cartoonish poison apple.
You know, Apple...
Apple has a story...
...that's really interesting.
You know, she poisoned her dad.
How much more interesting
can you get?
[ Whimpers ]
[ Line rings ]
-Your call has been forwarded
to an automatic
voice message system.
[ Beep ]
[ P.A. chimes ]
-Good morning, shoppers.
Due to severe thunderstorm
warnings,
some of our store hours
may be affected.
[ Microwave beeping ]
-Cherry, why is
Shirley Temple here?
She's going to destroy
the monochromatic yarn baskets.
-Oh, well, Shirley Temple
is my new Mini-Me.
-I'm allergic to cats.
-Of course you are.
-Everyone,
please look at my icing by Ina.
Everyone please comment
on my icing by Ina.
-Wow!
-Oh, my God.
-Icing by Ina.
-Wow.
-Wow.
-That looks really beautiful.
-I love cupcakes.
-The box is nice.
-I know yesterday was...wack,
but it's really not my fault
because I googled it
and Mercury was in retrograde,
so there you go.
-Guys, I think I'm having
a nervous breakdown.
Is it crazy that I walked
here without an umbrella?
-See? Mercury in retrograde.
-No, bitch,
it's tornado season.
Maybe the water could,
like, wash away our sins.
[ Cat meows ]
What's Shirley Temple
doing here?
-Uh, Cherry is also having
a nervous breakdown.
-Pumpkin, I went
on a hot girl jog this morning.
Could somebody having a nervous
breakdown go on a jog?
-Pumpkin, do you know
how hard it is to get a cupcake
to look like a pumpkin?
But I got that done...
for you.
-Guys?
I think we need to talk
about Pickle.
-Everyone, please eat
your I by I, please.
-Thank you.
-[ Giggles ]
-Swallow your seed.
-Sure.
-Mmm!
That's very good.
-[ Vomiting ]
-Apple?
-What the hell was
in my I by I's?
-What?
What are you talking about?
-Did you put something in --
[ Vomiting ]
Don't touch me.
-Um. I'm gonna walkie Sharon.
-Don't you dare, Fig!
-I'm sorry. Okay?
I'm just a little freaked out.
First it was Pickle,
and now this?
Dude, you know it's bad
when the scientist is scared.
-Yeah, Apple, could we sidebar
for a quick second?
-Not right now.
-It's actually a 9-1-1.
Hey, so, um,
did you girlboss again?
-What the freak
are you talking about?
-You know, like, with your dad?
-Stop talking!
Okay, who did this?
I know it wasn't me.
I know it wasn't
the Icing by Ina chick
because I caught her
blowing the Keep Calm
and Cookie On employee.
-She's hooking up with him, too?
-What do you mean by "too"?
-So, I have the ultimate
blackmail on her.
So, who did this?
-Wait, where were you guys
when Pickle jumped?
-Where was Pumpkin?
I mean, she could have been
the snake this whole time.
That's why she's over there
running for mayor of Vomville.
-You are so fucking ugly
right now, Cherry.
I don't care how much
Rare Beauty mascara you use.
Your insides are on fire,
and I can smell the smoke.
Emergency Paradise tonight.
-What?!
-No excuses.
Remember, we did this hex
to eliminate the snake.
We will find out who they are.
-Something's burning
deep within my love
Something's burning
deep within...
-Congrats on grad school,
baby boo.
-[ Squeals ]
I'm sorry. Um, sorry,
I just --
I don't want them knowing
what's going on in my life
right now, you know?
Um, oh, uh, don't come
to Free Eden tonight, okay?
I'm gonna meet you
at Ed Sheeran.
-Copy, Apple.
I'm running upstairs.
-I feel you safe in my arms
Sleeping deep and deep
and deeper
No one fuck with my love
'cause i'm capable of murder
-[ Gasps ]
[ Screams ]
-It's not safe here.
-Something's burning
deep within my love
Something's burning
deep within my love
-As we all know,
Marilyn Monroe was murdered
by the United States government
on August 4th, 1962.
After her love affair
with our John F. Kennedy,
she knew too much.
They underestimated her
due to her beauty
and her perfectly placed mole.
She needed to be eliminated.
The feminine sacrifice.
Open this.
-Oh, yes.
-We cannot let her death
be in vain.
-Oh, I'm sorry I couldn't get it
with my --
-So, our question remains.
Who is our JFK?
Is it you, Fig?
Are you our John F. Kennedy?
Is it you, Cherry?
Are you our handsome president?
The ultimate traitor?
Somebody fucking say something!
Fine.
I didn't want it
to come to this.
But in order
for the truth to be revealed,
for Marilyn to truly
speak to us,
we must do a sacrifice.
It is the only way
to save Paradise.
We must offer up...
...Shirley Temple.
-Apple!
-What the fuck?
-You know
she's all I have left.
-Have you ever killed
something before, Apple?
-Do I just mean nothing to you?
-No, no,
it's just she's my family.
-Enough!
Enough!
I am so fucking done
with this coven.
-Is this a coven?
-I only took this job
because I wanted to wear
floral lingerie
as a summer dress,
and because I was trying
to save money
so that I could submit
applications for grad school.
But guess what, mother fuckers,
I got in.
I'm done.
This shit has been killing me.
-Yeah, but you don't
have to leave
because you're not the snake.
You're not John F. Kennedy.
-Apple,
I'm the one who told Pumpkin
about Pickle.
And I'm glad that I did,
because look at what happened.
Why won't anybody talk
about what happened?
She died.
I washed her brain matter
out of my fishnets.
-You can't leave!
If you leave, we can't finish
the retail season cycle.
-Cherry, you are
a lip gloss shell.
Can't you see
that she is poison?
-Emily.
-Norman,
what are you doing here?
-I told you I would meet you
at Ed.
-You said you weren't safe.
I came to see you.
What's going on?
-Fig!
Why is he calling you...Emily?
-Yeah, is your name
fucking Emily?
-Yes, my name is Emily.
My name is fucking Emily.
It is mind boggling to me
that you are all named
after quirky fruit.
I mean, who in the fresh
hell names their baby Fig?
-Is this a cult?
-Hi.
I am in love with Norman,
and I want to speak to him
in words, not emojis.
-Apple, he's the snake.
-Take me to Ed Sheeran, baby.
-He's the snake!
-Nice to meet you.
-[ Gasps ]
-[ Screaming ]
-[ Screaming ]
-Norman!
-Uh...uh...
I tripped.
I tripped!
I...I...
Okay, well, surely we don't have
to sacrifice Shirley anymore.
So, I am -- oh, Fig!
Fig, I feel like this is ending!
I don't want this to end!
I don't care
if your name is Emily.
-What did you do?
-Fuuuuck!
Fuck! Fuck!
[ Exhales sharply ]
You're fine.
Sorry you had to see me
like that, Marilyn.
-Is this...
recording?
-Pumpkin, I need to talk to you.
-Fig! Emily!
Oh!
Apple, what happened
to your robe?
-It's deceased.
-What was that?
[ Alarm blares ]
-Oh, my God.
-What?
-Tornado warning
in Dallas County.
-There's a tornado warning?
-Yes, in effect all night.
-Oh!
-What are you doing?
-Well, Shirley Temple gets
triggered by natural disasters.
Fire, air, water.
Pretty much all the elements.
I should go get her.
-Leave the cat.
What are you doing?
-I'm calling my mom.
-Cellphone towers go down
around here when tornadoes hit,
electricity might, too.
Did you know
that this was a camera?
-It doesn't say
it's gonna be bad, right?
-Cherry, Pumpkin
and I need to talk.
-No, no, no, I need to go home
because my mom is alone
and we have a closet
we hide in during tornadoes.
-And leave us both for dead?
-She doesn't have a home.
She lives in her car.
-Enough!
-That's the sound
of the storm gates closing,
so you won't be able to get out.
-No, no, I am gonna find one,
and I'll come back
for y'all, okay?
I promise. I promise.
-Loosey fucking goosey
with those lips lately, Cherry.
What the fuck is your problem?
-I was just going to get --
Are you mad at me?
-Yeah.
You stabbed Norman in the cheek
with a meat cleaver, so...
-I tripped.
-Tripped?
It is so fucking exhausting
to keep track of the way
you manipulate narratives.
Are you the main character,
or are you the fucking victim?
-Do you not believe me?
-No!
Aah!
Fuck!
-I love you, Normaaaaaaaan!
-Fig...
Fig, can you hear me?
-Norman broke up with me.
-Fig, we're trapped.
The mall is on lockdown.
-Oh, Pum,
you're in crisis, too, babe?
Are you okay?
-No. Call 9-1-1.
-Okay, okay. I'm coming.
-Don't!
Call 9-1-1.
-Um, in the employee manual,
there were emergency tunnels,
Pum.
Just be cool.
I'm coming, I'm coming.
-Are we still best friends?
-You know, I don't believe
in hierarchy
in female relationships.
-You didn't answer
the question.
-What is the first rule
of Paradise?
-Shine theory.
-You broke it.
You dimmed
my fucking glow, girl.
You dimmed all of our glows.
You ruined Paradise.
It's over.
You just had to fucking
self-destruct.
It was inevitable.
Such a fucking
unattractive quality.
-You killed your dad, Apple!
-So what?
At least I'm not fucking boring.
-You're the snake, Apple.
You never helped me for me.
You helped me for you.
I never had a drinking problem.
-[ Laughs ]
Hiding mini bottles of tequila
under cowboy hats
is a fucking problem.
-It was gin.
And this is Texas.
What else is there to do?
You know what's the saddest
thing about you, Apple?
You're alone.
You're so alone, you're like --
like the depths of the ocean.
Like those deep, dark places
where only
those glow-in-the-dark,
creepy creatures live.
I'm alone
because my family died.
But you...choose to be.
-You know nothing
about my family.
-I do.
And I feel sorry for you.
Why do you hurt the people
that love you the most?
-You can't trust the people
who say they love you the most.
-That's the most fucked up
thing I've ever heard.
[ Sighs ] Well...
since we're not best friends
anymore,
I guess I can be who
I really am.
Boring.
And boring people aren't
very good at keeping secrets,
are they?
-Don't.
-Don't?
The world deserves to know
who you really are, Apple.
Hey!
What the fuck?
Are you high?
-[ Laughs ]
-[ Gasps ]
[ Thunder cracks ]
-[ Screams ]
-Cherry, stop running.
I just want to talk.
-Apple, my shoe's caught!
Apple!
My nails!
They're too long!
-Cherry!
-Fig! I mean Emily!
-[ Gasps ]
I can't open it. It's stuck.
-[ Whimpers ]
-Cherry, grab my hand!
-No, no.
[ Screaming ]
Fig! Fig!
[ Panting ]
-Hey, guys, what --
-[ Screams ]
-No!
-I'm okay!
I just tripped!
Noooo!
Aaah!
-Pumpkin, go find the breaker!
Apple, if you don't do anything,
I'm gonna tell everyone
you did it.
-Here!
-Am I the main character now?
-Apple!
-Aaaaah!
-Aaaah! Cherry!
-Guys, I couldn't find
the breaker!
-Pumpkin! Pumpkin! Run!
She's gonna kill us!
-Fig?
-Oh! That was close.
Come on, come on, come on,
Pum, we have to go.
[ Metal squeaks ]
-Fig...
Aaaaah!
Oh, my God!
-Let's go wash off.
Come on in, Pum,
the water feels nice.
-Uh, grab us a penny
to make a wish.
-Cute.
Oh, I thought I found one.
But it was just a nickel.
-Right.
-If I had a nickel
for every nickel...
Pumpkin, what are you doing?
-Nothing.
-Hey.
I got you.
I think it was always meant
to be the two of us.
The others were
just background noise.
Together, we can create
something new.
-A new Paradise?
-Exactly, a new garden.
But this time,
it will be unbreakable.
-Do you know who I am, Apple?
-[ Laughs ]
You finally asked.
You're Pumpkin from Plano.
Daughter to...
...a widowed,
overbearing mother.
You're always searching
for a missing puzzle piece.
You're always looking
for a sister to braid your hair.
-Funny timing
that I learned I had one
right before our dad died.
-You didn't know about me?
I've known about you
since I was a kid.
-I didn't know about you
as a kid.
They didn't tell me about you
till last year.
I thought my dad was too kind
to have a mistress.
-My mother was his wife.
-So was mine.
-[ Laughs ]
It's not our fault
they married a monster.
-A monster?
Dad was my best friend.
-We should get out.
-Did you do it?
-It's not about what I did.
It's about what he did.
To me, to my mother, to you.
-He didn't do anything to me.
He loved me.
-He loved you?
He lied to you.
What kind of a man leaves
one family to starve
while the other gets
a fucking Thanksgiving feast?
That is the most clever
kind of cruelty.
Because it's the kind no one
would even fucking suspect.
He abandoned me, Pumpkin.
He was a bad man.
I have given you everything,
sister.
Why won't you choose me?
-Because I don't know you!
And I've been trying
to figure it out for months.
But Paradise isn't real, Apple.
So, just tell me.
Who are you?
Sister to sister.
-Oh, my God.
You're the snake.
-What? What?
-Sister to sister?
You've been spying on me,
cuntess.
You set me up.
My cupcake didn't
make you fucking sick.
You took a sip of my latte.
Coffee makes you vom.
Snake.
-Just admit what you did to Dad!
-Please, please, just tell me.
For me, I need to know, Apple.
-You did this to yourself,
Pumpkin.
You want destruction,
and you crave chaos.
I'm horrific,
but you're a fucking tornado.
And none of this would have
happened if you hadn't shown up.
-Well, you're a terrible
fucking friend
and an even worse sister.
-You're just fucking like them!
-You know what, I am.
And I am nothing like you.
-Pumpkin...
-Apple?
-Daddy's little girl?
Daddy's little angel?
He poisoned me first.
A childhood full of his venom
and a slow fucking death.
Mom?
Mom?
Why won't you just let me
protect you?
Why do you hate me
for saving you?
-Snake poison was
how I needed to kill him.
I needed to kill him.
I needed to kill him.
I needed to kill him.
And you're just like him.
No, you're just like her.
And you're abandoning me
for eliminating a monster.
How could she not see?
How could she not see me?
I am the antidote.
I am Eve.
[ Chuckling ] I am...reborn.
Forgive me, Marilyn,
for I have sinned.
[ Chantal Kreviazuk's
"In This Life" plays ]
-Let me show you
What I'm made of
Good intentions
Are not enough
To get me through today
And this life
-After a brutal tornado season
for the South,
a storm struck down at many
points in the Dallas Metroplex.
At the Highland Place Mall,
the tornado hit its peak,
leaving many of the stores
destroyed.
-Okay, pumpkin spice latte
for -- Oh.
-...for any known survivors
continues.
-Do you want whipped cream
with that, ma'am?
-Abso-fucking-lutely I do.
-At night
[ Indistinct conversations ]
In this life
-Bluebonnet, your Tutti Fruity
dragon fruit drink.
For Chrysanthemum,
passion fruit lemonade.
Caramel black tea.
Oh, your cake pop.
[ Indistinct conversations ]
-Thanks.
I'm such a grump when I don't
have my cream dream cake pop.
Oh, my God, babe.
I'm completely obsessed
with your bracelet.
[ Meg Smith's "Jesus Christ
in a Mini Skirt" plays ]
Flowers.
Look at this.
Are you looking for a job, babe?
-Could be insecure
So you wanna fix me
Madonna or whore
If you want, I could be
-Come on.
-Jesus Christ in a miniskirt
And you'd still want her
I could be your femme fatale
Or damsel devotee
Lose myself
If you want, I could be
Jesus Christ in a miniskirt
And you'd still want her
I, I wanna kill your dad
I, I, I, I wanna
kiss your neck
I, I, I, I wanna
fill your bed
I, I, I wanna
be yours instead
I, I, I, I wanna
I could be just like her
Everything you always
wish I were
Flawlessly faultless
She's Jesus Christ
[ Cat meows ]
[ Camera shutter clicking ]
[ Indistinct conversation ]
-Check the north side.
-Ma'am, you can't be here.
-Ma'am? Ooh!
Sharon Sullivan,
Dallas PD Homicide Unit.
I've been here all day.
I didn't think she'd kill
her own sister.
-Wait, what?
-Oh, I've been undercover
on this case for months.
Apple is a suspect
in two poisoning cases.
Isn't that right, Shirley girl?
-Do you have any idea
what the hell happened here?
-Well, Pumpkin was spying
on her sister,
but I never thought that...
[ Bag zipping ]
Jane.
-What the fuck is she doing?
-Look, look.
These have cameras
in the binoculars.
Forensics,
is that the victim's phone?
Thank you.
Oh, oh, come on.
[ Cellphone beeps ]
It's connected.
-[ Screams ]
-We're gonna need backup.
I think we got her.
-Do we know where she is?
-I can't say for certain,
but I have a pretty fucking
good idea where to start.
-[ Radio dialing ]
-Hey, ladies...
-Dallas is finally starting
to cool down, y'all.
-That's why...
-We're just a wish away
-I had
a strange premonition.
-...show fueled
by lattes.
-Ed Sheeran's back on tour
at the Dallas...
-I want to hear about
your worst friends. Call us...
-The queen passed out
In her balcony
when I came out
The king
ordered his men
To close their eyes
and say a prayer out loud
Scantily clad woman
Scantily clad man
Scantily clad woman
Scantily clad man
The pope fled at once
When I walked upstage
and had no shame
-[ Moans ]
-The knights went to war
When I kissed her
in that pink beret
-[ Blows ]
Oh, what a big disgrace
-Oh, fuck! My dick!
Ow!
-Scantily clad woman
Scantily clad man
Scantily clad woman
Ooooh ooh ooh
-Skin clear, hair shiny
Girls and gays like me
Tap, I'm on your screen
-Lunchtime, freaks.
-Oh, my God,
it's the Free Eden girls.
It's impossible
to get a job there.
They're like mall royalty.
-Here comes mother.
-The Fruits are so hot.
-Isn't there a fourth one?
-I heard she went crazy.
-Cherry...
-Wait, don't they pay?
-We don't charge the Fruits.
-Apple's a bitch.
-She's so much more than that.
-I serve my Pop Girl Chic
-I need my shawarma.
Gimme, gimme!
Thank you.
-Do you want some?
-No.
-I heard she was a wrangler.
-She waved at me once.
-Oh, my God,
I want to be her.
-My cowgirl.
-Her fits are pristine.
-You hungry?
-What?
-Oh, my God.
-[ Laughs ]
-Want some ranch with that?
-Look.
Did you see them?
-Give me the goss, bitch.
-Oh, my God.
-See you Wednesday.
-Bye!
-I love Fig.
She's my favorite.
-Go!
-God, I wish I was named
after a fruit.
-Colin, get real.
-I want them
to spit in my mouth.
-God, they are so hot.
-Bro, she doesn't even know
you exist.
-The way that I am walking,
it's my accessory
-Fig, hit 10K today.
Cherry, you get to help me
unbox the new shipment.
I'm basically
selling for two now,
so if I want to make manager...
-Wait, are you preggy?
-No!
No, she's talking about --
-Don't say her name.
She does not work here anymore.
Obvi I'm not pregnant.
What if I had a boy and had to
name him, like,
Bob or some shit?
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
Apple, you would make such
a better manager than Sharon.
-Yeah. Whatever it takes
to get rid of [growling] Sharon.
-[ Growling ] Sharon.
-I think gummy bears
are making me high.
-Yeah,
you need a new addiction
like I need a tiny
little bolero jacket.
-Wait, what if we asked Sharon
to hire someone new
to replace
She Who Shall Not Be Named?
-No, I do not need
another cracked-out mini-me.
-Yeah, we don't need anybody,
Fig.
We're ride or die.
-Oh!
We do not take the escalator
in our skinny heels.
-I'm going pee.
-Okay.
-Alone. 'Kay, bye.
-Okay.
-Hey, y'all.
-[ Gasps ] Ooh!
Free samples.
-No!
Hey.
Um, I don't know
what you do at these ren faires,
but, you know, here at the mall
we don't talk to
the Sister Sweet's, Fig.
-Um, actually,
it's Sister Salt's.
-Okay, okay, okay, okay!
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
Put that back. Put that down.
Put that down.
Yeah.
Okay, let's go.
-Bye.
-No, don't wave at her!
-What?
-She'll get the wrong idea.
And Apple says
that [speaks indistinctly]
-[ Laughter ]
-And Parmesan cheese?
-And then I threw
my hot coffee on his dick.
-Wait,
your coffee or your latte?
-Latte. Stop. This is serious.
-Oh, my God, I'm sorry.
You're right.
-My hot latte on his dick
'cause obviously I was not gonna
let this man come.
-Oh, my God, of course.
-But you know what
the most beautiful part is?
-I got you an extra latte
this morning.
I had the forethought
to get you an extra latte.
It's like we're rebelling
against the patriarchy together.
-Cherry, you have to work
on this compulsion you have
to make yourself
the main character
in everyone else's story.
-It's exhausting.
-Yeah.
-This better be something
I can sell the shit out of.
-Hey, ladies.
So, for you, that'll be 800.
Thank you.
And this three-piece is
actually on sale for 2,500.
You're so lucky.
-I know. It's great.
-Ah, the receipts
will be e-mailed to you.
Thank you.
Oh, my God. Hi!
Oh, these are so good.
Have you ever tried them
all together at once?
It's, like, amazing.
-Oh!
Glitter miniskirts.
The Hilary Duff collab
is back.
Thank Goddess.
-I'm such a Gordo.
-No, you're a Miranda.
Fig's a Gordo.
-What's your name again?
-Pumpkin.
-Dead-ass?
-Dead-ass what?
-Wait, is that like,
a flavor or something?
-No, it's my name.
-I knew there was
something special about you.
-You did?
-Yeah.
Sorry, we just have a thing
about Sister Salt's.
It's, like,
bottom of the food chain.
Next to Keep Calm and Cookie On,
you know what I mean?
Kind of invisible to us.
Sorry.
-It's okay.
My job doesn't define me.
My hotness
and my personality do.
And are you guys hiring?
-[ Beep ]
Fig, have you hit 10K yet?
'Cause Cherry and I are up here
working our fucking tits off.
We need you
to pull your weight.
Love you, babe.
-Copy, Apple.
-Who's that?
-Why don't you come back
tomorrow,
but don't bring the pretzels,
okay?
They're like poison here.
Actually, bring the pretzels,
but only bring
the cinnamon ones.
Apple loves cinnamon.
Naturally.
-Thanks, Fig.
-Thanks, Pumpkin.
-[ Beep ]
Hey, Fruits.
So I know that we don't want to
hire anyone else,
but I just met this
supercute girl.
Her essence is so boho babe,
and she has
a great personality.
She's a bit of a fixer-upper,
but I told her
to come back tomorrow.
Okay, I got to go.
There's a woman down here
wearing sweatpants
and going through a breakup.
It's a lot.
Okay, bye.
-Ohhhhhh!
Fuck!
-I keep telling you
your nails are a safety hazard.
-[ Moans ]
But I like them so much.
-Freshly baked pretzel?
-I love cinnamon.
-I heard.
-Do I know you?
-I don't think so.
I just got here last week.
-Are you looking for a job,
babe?
Bright and early?
-I have a job.
-Do you like this job?
-I get that dough.
-Fig, get me an application.
-Mm-hmm.
-They look like
little shits.
So how do you take
your coffee?
-I don't. It makes me vom.
I drink tea.
-Okay, we can work on that.
Do you ever feel alone
sometimes?
-I have a heart tattoo
on my pinky.
-Mm.
-I think anybody
with a tiny heart
tattooed on their body
is deeply alone.
-Mm-hmm.
-I think I got it
because my parents
couldn't afford to buy me
American Girl dolls
when I was little.
I think I'd like
to be a doll myself.
I'd like for someone
to braid my hair.
-Oh, my God!
So rude.
What's your name?
-Pumpkin.
-Yeah, I know.
It's really Pumpkin.
-We're all fruits
here at Free Eden.
-what are you up to tonight?
-Uh, well,
I was gonna go home
and make a chocolate cake
with my mom.
-But, like, what do you want to
be up to tonight?
[ Chimes sound ]
-Attention, shoppers.
The Dallas Highland Place Mall
is now closed.
Please make your way
to the exit.
-Burn it.
Come on.
-So are you from Oklahoma?
-Uh, what?
No.
-Oh, that's crazy,
because you were
totally giving off
a scissor-tailed
flycatcher vibe.
Happens all the time.
That's the state bird
of Oklahoma.
-Um, are we allowed
to be in here?
-Technically, no.
I know a lot
about state birds.
No one really liked me
in high school,
so I know a lot
about state birds.
-What's the state bird
of Texas?
-Holy shit. Uh...
Holy shit, I'm blanking on it.
Oh, my God. Oh...
-Are you from Texas?
I'm just -- I'm from Plano.
-Oh, yeah.
I'm from Irving.
It's over
by the Cowboys' stadium.
And then Apple is
from Grapevine,
which is actually
kind of close to you.
And then Cherry is
from Highland Park.
-Whoa.
-Oh, don't worry.
She's not rich.
After her whole family died,
she didn't inherit anything.
Life insurance system
is so broken,
you know what I mean?
-After her entire family died?
-Well, yeah.
Apple and Cherry are part
of an elite dead-dads club.
-Me too.
-[ Gasps ] FOMO!
The northern mockingbird.
[ Laughs ]
That's the state bird of Texas.
The northern mockingbird.
I can't believe I forgot
that one.
You ask a lot
of questions, Pumpkin.
I like it.
-Blow me.
Blow me.
-I don't really smoke.
-It's not smoking,
it's praying.
You're a natural, babe.
Welcome to Paradise.
-Put on your hat,
psychic cat
Tell us the news
As we cruise
-Cru-u-u-u-u-ise
-Where do you go
when we blow?
You look so fine
-Of the tree.
Winter.
-Of the root.
Summer.
-Cherry's sober.
-Okay.
Cool.
-Okay, now you say
where your fruit comes from
and the peak season.
-So you would say,
"Of the..."
"Bush. Spring."
-Uh, okay.
Of the...dirt.
And, uh, Halloween.
-It's a vine.
Pumpkins grow on vines.
I looked it up.
I Googled it.
Just to make sure that it was
actually also a fruit --
-Cherry.
You need to be more trusting.
That's another unattractive
quality we have to work on.
-Sorry.
I just couldn't pass up
the opportunity
for a good background check.
-Y'all, Halloween is
in the fall.
-I know.
-That's bananas.
-We've finally completed
the retail season.
-Well, if we agree
that a pumpkin is a fruit,
because some scientists believe
that it's actually a vegetable.
-I'm sorry, Cherry, do you
actually fucking hate women?
-What?
-I thought you were
ride or die, babe.
-I am.
I am both ride and die.
-Oh, so are you staying,
or are you going?
-Um...
[ Inhales sharply ]
Oh, my God.
The retail cycle is complete.
This is cosmic.
-Let's begin the induction.
[ Clears throat ]
[ Intoning ]
[ Intoning stops ]
-Okay, I'm sorry,
but what is freaking going on?
-What do you mean, babes?
-Is it -- Is it --
Is that blood?
Um, I just, um...
Is it weird
that I'm confused right now?
-Yeah.
-Mm-hmm.
-Are you guys witches?
-What is your definition
of a witch?
-Um...broomsticks and spells,
I guess.
-And Nicole Kidman.
-[ Gasps ] Yes.
-I studied the occult,
alchemy, astrology,
astral projection.
-Where our consciousness
can exist without our bodies.
-Fig, has a degree
in astrophysics.
-I'm saving up
for grad school.
-Our magic isn't
some witch-talk rip-off
fluffy-bunny bullshit.
To put it simply,
our magic
is the mundane shit
you would have been executed for
in Salem.
Being a witch
is being a sister.
And we all need sisterhood
to survive.
That's why I created Paradise.
You must follow three rules.
-Rule one --
We follow the shine theory.
Shine theory states
women illuminate
when they surround themselves
with other women who shine,
and they don't do anything
to dim their light.
-Rule two -- the vindicar.
The demon that derives pleasure
from other people's
pain and misery.
You must banish vindicars.
-And most importantly,
rule three --
We only text boys
using emojis.
Right, Fig?
-Well, Norman's not
my boyfriend, so...
-He better not be.
[ Chanting ] Goats milk,
thigh gaps,
rose petals, bone caps,
truffle oil, bitch slap,
blood clots, juice press.
-Hold my finger.
-Slap me.
-[ Exhales sharply ]
What?
-Do it.
-No.
-Boo.
I really thought you --
[ Exhales sharply ]
Oh, my gosh,
I'm -- I'm so sorry. I...
-No worries, babe.
That was the last ingredient.
Drink up.
Good girl.
Come with.
Welcome to confessional.
This is a safe space
where we confess our sins
to the ultimate femme martyr.
You must address her
by her stage name.
-Which is?
-Marilyn.
Monroe.
Duh.
No man could control her.
Not even the president.
And we honor that sacrifice.
-Am I supposed to look
in the mirror?
-Yeah, babe.
-Uh, wait, but I just,
I don't --
I don't have anything
to confess, so...
-I wouldn't be so sure
about that.
-Uh...
Marilyn.
Hello, Marilyn.
Well, I guess it's
kind of cool to finally have
some female friends.
I just...
I don't know
if I buy all of this.
The whole
"girls supporting girls" thing.
Paradise.
The shine theory.
[ Laughs ]
I mean,
don't -- don't get me wrong.
I -- I wish it was real,
but...
I guess sisterhood just
doesn't come naturally to me.
And look, I-I tried to be
the girl with the...
matching friendship tattoos
and -- and the burning sage,
but, uh, it didn't really --
didn't really work.
All I was left with was,
you know,
a weird heart on my knuckle
and a hamster with asthma.
That's...well.
I mean, maybe she's not a...
Maybe she could finally teach me
how to...
[ Door closes in distance ]
Apple? Hello?
Are you all down here?
Oh.
What? No!
Bitches!
Fuck!
Hey, mom. Um, yeah. Sorry, I --
Yeah. I'm okay.
I'm having -- I'm having
a slumber party tonight.
Yeah. It's her.
I don't know,
but...I'm gonna find out.
[ P.A. chimes ]
-Good morning, shoppers.
The mall stores will open
in 30 minutes.
-Power walking is hard.
-Is she deceased?
Her latte is gonna get cold.
-You smell that?
-Yeah.
Smells like puppy's breath
and cinnamon sticks.
-Is someone wearing --
-The Mojave body mist?
Yeah, I'm wearing it.
-Hair down, hoops on
Bottoms up, pop the trunk
Dirty shoes, cowhide rug
You know
we don't give a fuck
Said I wouldn't dare
cross over
Watch me take
this whole shit over
-You are so Andy Sachs
right now.
-I got you
a pumpkin spice latte.
-Coffee makes me vom.
-Miranda Priestly would totally
take you to Paris.
-You might be ready
for your trial shift.
-I'm not already hired?
-Oh, no, Sharon has to
approve of you first.
-Who is Sharon?
-The manager.
-For now.
-Ride the boat,
you might get booked
Pull you up
by your bootstraps
Pull you up
by your bootstraps
Pull you up
by your bootstraps
Pull you up
by your bootstraps
-What did he look like?
-He looked like a critter.
-Oh, okay.
-Perf.
-You could take this one,
Pumpkin.
-Hi!
Um, anything
I can help you with today?
-Uh, what do girls like?
-Uh...
-Hey, Belinda,
stop chasing Mackenzie.
Sorry, I'm a bit of a mess.
-Oh, don't I know it?
I used to put my dad through
all sorts of shenanigans,
but, you know, don't worry.
They'll always be
daddy's little girls at heart.
I know I still am.
Um, so what --
what can I help you with?
-Uh --
-Hey, babe.
-Oh. Hi.
-Momfluencer.
-Yeah.
-Oh, my God.
Do you have sand
in your ass crack?
Because you are giving
beach babe.
Where is your tan from?
-Oh, we were just in Galveston.
-But I'm not sure
if it's big enough
because they want it to block
both my face and my baby.
-That is so thoughtful of you.
I honestly think if I had a kid,
I would never think of them.
-[ Chuckles ] Oh, my God,
what is her name?
-Oh, it's a boy.
-Sorry.
-You just need a little fabric,
sweetie.
Just a little.
-Ooh!
-Houdini over here.
-[ Chuckles ] Ah...ah?
-Oh.
-Galveston.
Virgin Mary, holy being.
-Are you a poet?
-No, I'm a witch.
You conjure confidence
here at Free Eden.
And, babe, this is just --
-You look amazing.
-Gorge.
-Wow.
-Baby!
-Good luck, take it all
I don't need it
-Thank you!
-Bye, girls!
-Thank you so much.
-He was so sweet.
Makes me really miss my dad.
-What, because he bought them
stuff, he's a good guy?
They probably caught him
with his mistress or something.
It's called a payoff present.
-You don't know that.
-Men are two faced, Pumpkin.
Come on.
[ Thump ]
[ Thump ]
-What was that?
-Nothing.
Code dill.
I repeat, code dill.
Go upstairs. Don't engage.
-Do y'all know her?
-Copy, code dill.
Vindicar.
-Apple, in my office.
-Yes.
Reporting another incident.
Apple, this cannot happen
again with the new girl.
-It won't.
Let's go on a field trip.
You have so much potential,
Pumpkin.
I see so much of myself in you.
You know, when I was a sales
girl, not yet a saleswoman,
I had a knack for making
something out of nothing.
Even when I was a tiny little
Apple, I had a green thumb.
I made my own Paradise
out of...
playgrounds, doll houses,
oversized Costco boxes.
Because I had to.
-Had to what?
-Survive.
Women who don't have a garden
won't grow.
What did that one bitch say,
"a room of one's own"?
-Virginia Woolf.
-No, that doesn't sound right.
Anyways, we have to create
spaces for ourselves.
Rip out the weeds.
Throw out the snakes.
There's always work to be done
to protect your garden.
We can do it together.
-Are you looking to buy?
-Yeah, if I can find it.
-Look at what
we already accomplished today.
When we met,
I felt this connection.
Like blood.
-You did?
-Did you?
Which is why I'm happy to say...
...you're hired, babe.
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
Where the fuck is
the pumpkin charm?
Thank you so much.
I could have used
that about ten minutes ago.
Jane is the ultimate girl boss.
She really does it all.
I wish I could hold down
that many jobs.
OMG, Pumpkin.
Jane Does Detective
is my favorite.
Look at her little khaki trench!
You shouldn't have.
-I mean, well,
you needed a talisman
and she is the ultimate
girlboss.
-So true.
-My talisman is
Shirley Temple.
-The, uh, dead child actress?
-No, no.
My 9-year-old Scottish fold.
It's the same kind of cat
that Taylor Swift has.
-A lot of people thought
that she discovered Ed Sheeran,
but she didn't.
-We should name her Marilyn.
-Oh, no, no, no.
I think she should be part
of the group.
-You should do the honors
of unpacking those.
-Oh, Apple.
I had dibs on the stilettos.
-Oh, are you literally
an infant?
-Well, no.
-You can unbox these, babe.
-Do you think Pumpkin is
Apple's Mini-Me?
Why does she like her so much?
Keep your enemies close.
-Hi.
-Hey.
-What are you guys doing?
-Yeah, no, we're just --
-I love your hair.
-Happy winter solstice.
Fall is over.
Pumpkin has completed
her retail cycle.
So, we celebrate
her first month with us
and welcome...
the birth of the sun.
-The birth of the sun.
-When you're lying here
in my arms
I'm finding it
hard to believe
-Open up.
-We're in heaven
Now nothing can change
what you mean to me
There's a lot
that I could say
But just hold me now
Because our love
will light the way
Baby, you're all that I want
When you're lying here
in my arms
I'm finding it
hard to believe
We're in heaven
-What did we take?
-Sequins.
It's a placebo, babe.
This is just what
Paradise feels like.
-...there in your heart
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven
We're in heaven
-Hi.
-[ Gasps ]
-What is that?
-It's my planner.
-Oh.
-Apple has me
on a strict schedule.
-Mm.
-You know, for, like,
my mental health.
You know what?
On Wednesdays, I have therapy.
I need somebody to cover for me.
If you're lucky,
that could be you.
[ Both chuckle ]
-So, um...
...Apple has a calendar for you?
That is kind of controlling.
-Apple helped me get sober.
And not, like, sad sober.
Like fun, hot sober.
And she's helping me
with a lot of --
You know what?
I shouldn't dump truck
my issues on you.
We're working on that, too.
I have a really bad case
of main character syndrome.
-Guys, come dance with me.
-Okay.
-Confessional for you tonight,
Fig.
-[ Clears throat ] What?
-Cherry said you ditched her
to meet Norman.
-No, I didn't.
-Stop.
We have proof.
-We had plans
to walk wistfully
through the parking lot
at sunset.
I had to walk wistfully
by myself.
-Okay.
-Isn't it time
to drink your...
-Forgive me, Marilyn...
...for...
I want to build an Ikea couch
with Norman.
[ Chuckles ]
I want to talk to him in words,
not emojis.
It's my mother's
dream come true.
She always wanted me to be a
part of someone else's toolbox.
To be used and put away.
I watched my mother
love someone entirely
and give up on herself.
I got piercings
so I wouldn't give up on myself.
Got a physics degree
so I wouldn't give up on myself.
I allowed myself to find peace
and freedom in Paradise
so I wouldn't give up on myself.
And I still feel alone.
And then I met him.
And he complimented me on
my music taste and my piercings.
And he told me that
his name was Norman,
and, Marilyn, you know
that "Psycho"
is my favorite movie.
He just wants me around.
But now I feel split in two.
And I am terrified
that I am going to get
the same haircut as my mother.
Is she happy?
-Whoa, I don't
want to text that.
-Well, I'm glad you changed.
-Did you lock your car
this time?
-Um, where did I...
Yeah, I think so.
-You parked right there.
-Bye. Good night.
-Bye, Pumpkin.
-Bye! I love you.
-I love you so much.
-Oh! It is cold.
-[ Chuckling ] Bye.
[ Line ringing ]
Hi, Mom.
Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm sorry
I missed your calls.
Yeah, I'll pick up Betty Crocker
on the way home.
Yes. I'm being safe.
I don't know yet,
but I think I can crack
the other two to find out.
-Wow.
-She can ring you up right now.
-Yeah.
-Okay. Yeah, sure.
Are you --
-Don't you want to make
the sale?
-Oh, no.
It's time for me to go.
-Oh, right. Yes.
Yeah. Therapy.
It's Wednesday. Have fun.
-Yeah.
-[ Whispering ] Hey,
how you doing, li'l mama?
Let me whisper in ya ear
Tell ya something
that ya might like to hear
Got a sexy ass body
and your ass look soft
-Bye.
Oh! Wait.
I forgot something.
-And they say a closed mouth
don't get fed
So, I don't mind
askin' for head
You heard what I said
We need to make our way
to the bed
-Around my neck.
Therapy!
-Okay.
-Toot it up, slapping ass,
gurl the sex get rough
Switch position and let the
dick get down to business
Just wait till you see
my dick
Just wait
till you see my dick
Wait till you see my dick,
hey, bitch
Wait till you see my dick
-[ Moaning ]
-Wait till you see my dick,
hey, bitch
Wait till you see my dick
I'm gonna beat that pussy up
Like bam, bam, bam, bam,
bam, bam, bam, bam
Beat the pussy up,
beat the pussy up
Beat the pussy up,
beat the pussy up
Beat the pussy up,
beat the pussy up
Beat the pussy up,
beat the pussy up
You fine, but I ain't gon'
sweat you
See, I wanna fuck,
tell me what's up
Walk around the club
with your thumb in your mouth
Put my dick in,
take your thumb out
That might be a li'l kosher
to deal wit
-My little gumdrop!
-Yeah, it's on like that
But it depend on the swing
of the baseball bat
Fuck the bitch on the counter
and make the plates fall back
-I'm so excited.
[ Moaning ]
Oh, leave us alone.
Leave us alone. Bye! Bye!
-Wait till you see my dick
-Keep going! Keep going!
Oh, Pumpkin!
Pumpkin!
Cookie man, put me down!
-What? Oh, fuck!
-Hey. Hey, babe.
Um, I just --
I wanted to make sure
that you...
ate.
-That's so sweet.
Um...I ate.
-Shit.
I, uh, I gotta go.
-He's gotta go.
-I bet I burnt the, uh,
snickerdoodles.
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
Um, [clears throat]
give me a sec.
[ Sighs ]
Can you help me? My nails --
-Yes. Oh, my gosh.
-Nails.
-Yeah.
I got you.
-Oh.
Where's the craziest place
you've ever had sex?
-Um, I'm a virgin.
-[ Laughs ]
Really?
-Yeah.
-That's so adorable.
You know what?
I've been thinking.
You should be my new Mini-Me.
-Um, Mini-Me?
-Yeah.
We should get matching tattoos.
Look, please don't tell Apple
about this.
-Um, why?
-Well, I just have enough
unattractive qualities.
-What, so,
Apple doesn't like sex?
-No, Apple doesn't like
when I have sex on Wednesdays.
-But you always have sex
on Wednesdays.
-What?
-Well, isn't today Wednesday?
You know what?
Free pass if you're wearing
Tuesday, right?
-You know, the schedule is
actually kind of nice
because, um, she's just trying
to make sure I stay sober,
and I don't get dick-whipped.
-Right, but what's wrong
with dick?
I mean, she's like this
with Fig, too, right?
-Apple means well.
She just...
She had bad experiences
growing up with her dad.
You know, the way he treated
her mom and her,
basically abandoned them.
It's not my story to tell...
but he sucks.
R.I.P...
R.I...something, not "P."
-Are y'all stealing?
Because if you're stealing,
there's cameras around here,
y'all.
-No, we're not stealing.
[ Both chuckle ]
Hey, listen.
I will not tell Apple, Cherry.
I mean, a Mini-Me
wouldn't do that, right?
-Pumpkin!
Okay, and I won't tell her
that you're a virgin
because she also hates virgins.
-Oh.
-Okay.
[ Both giggle ]
-Hey.
-Hello.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-Hey.
-Oh, I, um...
-Oh, my God,
that's so nice.
-Yeah, I...
-You're so sweet.
-I don't know.
I mean, okay, yeah.
-Oh, my God,
I have the best Mini-Me ever.
-Really?
-Yes.
[ Both giggle ]
-What are you reading?
-Um, state birds, you know,
just...
-Okay. [ Chuckles ]
-It's my...
-Isn't that Fig's thing?
-Well, you know, I want to get
to know all of you,
but, I mean, I mean,
okay, hold on.
Wait a second.
There's some good stuff in here.
-Thank you for covering me,
Pum.
-Hey, Sharon, can you cover me
at the register for a sec?
I gotta go drop the kids
off at the pool.
Okay. Thank you. Bye.
-[ Clears throat ]
-Hi.
Babe, you know, I love to dip.
-Thumbs up emoji.
-Oh, um, uh, bee emoji.
Boy and girl kissing emoji,
red heart emoji,
and red question emoji?
-Norman,
no one's watching me here.
You can just verbally ask me
what you want to ask me.
-Would you be my girlfriend?
-[ Gasps ]
-Huh? What do you think?
-Yes.
-What?
-I said yes.
-She said yes, everyone!
And that's not even
the best part.
-How could it get any better?
-I got us tickets
to see Ed Sheeran.
-No!
-Yes!
I just sent them to you.
What's up?
-Wait.
I thought I left it at --
-Spooky ringtone, babe.
-What do you want?
-I just came
to bring you your phone.
-I really can't lose --
It is very hard for me
to make friends.
Just like the Great Horned Owl.
-Really?
I feel like you're more
of a rosy-faced lovebird.
Super social and kind.
-You've learned about birds
for me?
-The northern mockingbird
can sing
up to 200 different songs
and sounds from other --
-[ Together ] Insects
and amphibians.
-Okay.
Have you ever seen "Psycho"?
-No. Ew. Hate horror movies.
Bleh. [ Chuckles ]
-Okay, well, Norman was named
after Norman Bates
because he's such a mama's boy.
-Oh, that's so cute.
-He's so loving.
He's my favorite boy
in the whole wide world.
Pumpkin, please do not tell them
and take that away from me.
-Oh, no, that's
not what I'm trying to do.
-Cherry and Apple
will not understand.
-I think Cherry
will understand.
She's fucking
all of the food court
on Wednesdays.
-What?
She's not allowed to have sex
on Wednesdays.
-Yeah, I just I don't understand
all of these secrets.
And why are you
so afraid of Apple?
-We can't let history
repeat itself.
-Fig, you're not making
any sense right now.
And we're in a little bit
of a pickle here.
-Oh, my God!
So, you know her name?
-What? Who?
-Pickle isn't a fruit.
Pickle isn't a fruit.
Pickle isn't a fruit.
Pickle isn't a fruit.
Pickle isn't a fruit.
Pickle isn't a fruit.
-Pull yourself together, Fig.
What -- What happened?
-Pickle was
the perfect boho babe.
Sun-kissed blonde hair,
zero daddy issues
and effortlessly Gorgina George.
Apple immediately knew
she'd found her Mini-Me.
It's a guttural feeling.
Kind of like finding a soulmate,
you know?
-It's perfect.
-Okay.Calm down.
-They were as glued together
as Pickle's glitter fake lashes.
We all loved her.
We were like the four elements,
living in complete harmony.
But then...
then, Pickle met Ashton.
Ashton was Avril "Sk8r Boi" hot,
a wannabe bad boy.
-Are you hungry?
-And it rubbed off on Pickle.
She even started wearing
mini UGG boots to rebel
against the Free Eden
dress code.
It got nasty fast.
Apple was furious.
After Pickle skipped
her third Paradise,
because obviously
Ashton was more important,
Apple told us we were gonna
try something fucking lit.
A hex.
-Stop.
-She didn't tell us against who,
just that they deserved it.
-What you have done to me,
let it rebound on you tenfold.
I curse your ugliness
and cruelty.
I condemn you, snake.
-I condemn you, snake.
-I condemn you, snake.
-I condemn you, snake.
-Next thing we knew,
Ashton was in a coma.
Like some "Grey's Anatomy"
type shit.
They think someone
at Free Eden poisoned him,
but no one knew who.
And Pickle, she lost it.
-Okay, wait.
Poisoned?
With what?
-Tyler! Oh, my God.
This is a private conversation.
Get out!
Girl, I don't know.
I'm not his next of kin.
All I can tell you
is that the police got involved,
and Pickle was committed
to a hospital.
-For how long?
-A while.
And that's when corporate
brought in Sharon.
-Why?
-I don't know,
they thought that Free Eden
could become a toxic workplace
or something
and they wanted someone
to oversee us,
which we don't need
because we're obviously women
supporting other women.
That's why Apple hates her,
because she's not supporting us.
Not really, anyway.
I can't let anything happen
to Norman.
-What do you mean?
-Whatever that hex was,
what we did was dangerous, babe.
[ Indistinct conversations ]
-[ Muffled ]
Mall's closed today!
[ Whirring ]
[ Gasps ]
Wait!
Wait, wait, wait.
Pickle?
-Run.
-What happened to you?
-She's dangerous.
She hurts the ones she loves.
She hurts the ones she loves.
She hurts the ones she loves.
She hurts the ones she loves.
No.
-Sharon?
-In the break room.
-Hey, Sharon.
Um, can I talk to you for a sec?
-Yeah. Come on in.
-I need to show you something.
-What is it?
-I had a strange premonition
You visit me in a vision
Hands on my thighs and your
eyes on my prize, Lord
Naught could deflect
this collision
-Pumpkin, come to my office
15 before your shift ends
today.
We need to talk
about chino pants.
Don't tell the girls.
-Sorry, Sharon.
I, uh, folded them wrong.
-Who taught you
how to fold those?
Don't worry.
I'll come with you on this one.
-It's like the fourth time that
she's called you in this week.
-Yeah, she only ever
calls in Apple
because Apple's
always getting in trouble.
-Yeah, I can talk to her alone.
It's fine.
-I will teach her
how to fold the chino pants.
From now on, don't worry
about Sharon, babe.
Come.
-Chino pants are
a very awkward length.
-Hey, guys.
I talked to Sharon
and everything's --
-Change into this, babe.
You look like you've seen
someone wearing white
after Labor Day.
A snake is attempting
to enter our garden, ladies.
Sharon may be plotting
to fire Pumpkin.
We must protect our crops
by any means necessary.
-Dude, come on.
-Yeah, maybe we could just do
some cute dark magic,
like...the spell
for eternal dandruff.
-No. Stop fucking around.
-I don't hate Sharon.
-What are you even talking
about, Pumpkin?
We don't know what
Sharon is capable of.
She could destroy us.
And that is
why we need to do this hex.
Sharon is a snake.
She's always been a snake.
And you know how we handle
snakes in our garden.
-Like how you handled
Ashton and Pickle?
What did you say?
Who told her?
Do we have another snake
amongst us?
We all did that hex,
including Pickle.
And we went into it agreeing
that whoever deserved
the punishment would receive it.
-Well, we can't do this.
-Just be grateful
it isn't Norman.
-[ Whispering ] Fig.
-You don't trust me, babe?
I thought I was your BFF.
-You are.
-What you have done to me,
let it rebound on you tenfold.
I curse your ugliness
and cruelty.
Uh, hello?
-I condemn you, snake.
-I condemn you, snake.
-I condemn you, snake.
Babe, you have to join
in order for it to work.
We're literally doing this
for you.
-I condemn you, snake.
[ Indistinct conversations ]
-Aah!
-Hey, Pum.
I got you some liquid courage.
-How many times do I have to
tell you I don't drink coffee?
-Oh, girl,
it's just a matcha latte.
I got you.
-Oh.
Um, what are you still
doing here?
-Apple made us swear
to stick around
for your talk with Sharon.
-Why can't I do anything
by myself?
-Babe, we all just
want to support you.
We're worried about you,
you know?
-Nooo!
-Aaaaah!
Oh, my God.
Come on.
-Aaah!
-Um...
I think -- I think
the hex backfired.
-We never said Sharon's
name in the spell, Apple.
What if it hit Pickle instead?
-What if this is our fault?
-Let's get out of here.
-Apple.
-Please don't fire Pumpkin.
-What are you talking about?
-What did you do to Pickle?
-Why are you accusing me?
All I ever do around here
is try to help people.
I am an empath, Sharon.
I am trying to make
the world a better place.
-Do you think you can make
the world a better place
by getting rid of someone?
-What are you talking about?
Are you going to tell corporate?
-Tell corporate what?
-Do you feel bad?
-What?
-About Pickle.
Do you feel bad?
-Why would I feel bad?
I didn't push her.
-You didn't?
-Did you?
-It's all falling apart.
-Not on my watch.
[ Cellphone chimes ]
-[ Sighs ]
[ Laughs ]
Forgive me, Marilyn,
for I have sinned.
Some people in Highland Park
think I'm dead.
I never corrected them.
You know, if your entire family
dies in a fire,
I guess you sort of die, too.
I just miss the ones I loved
that died in a house
that burned in two minutes
while I was fucking
the prom king
in a donut shop parking lot.
You know, Shirley Temple
found me there,
and she told me
about the fire, but...
I don't really feel
alive anymore.
Except when I'm with Apple.
Men definitely don't think
I'm alive.
They just want to buy me
with diamonds.
I think they think it's fun
to fuck a ghost.
They don't care about me
like Apple does.
Diamonds are a girl's
best friend.
You said that.
[ Chuckles ]
Is Apple still my best friend?
I thought I could be
her antidote.
That was foolish of me.
She will always be
that cartoonish poison apple.
You know, Apple...
Apple has a story...
...that's really interesting.
You know, she poisoned her dad.
How much more interesting
can you get?
[ Whimpers ]
[ Line rings ]
-Your call has been forwarded
to an automatic
voice message system.
[ Beep ]
[ P.A. chimes ]
-Good morning, shoppers.
Due to severe thunderstorm
warnings,
some of our store hours
may be affected.
[ Microwave beeping ]
-Cherry, why is
Shirley Temple here?
She's going to destroy
the monochromatic yarn baskets.
-Oh, well, Shirley Temple
is my new Mini-Me.
-I'm allergic to cats.
-Of course you are.
-Everyone,
please look at my icing by Ina.
Everyone please comment
on my icing by Ina.
-Wow!
-Oh, my God.
-Icing by Ina.
-Wow.
-Wow.
-That looks really beautiful.
-I love cupcakes.
-The box is nice.
-I know yesterday was...wack,
but it's really not my fault
because I googled it
and Mercury was in retrograde,
so there you go.
-Guys, I think I'm having
a nervous breakdown.
Is it crazy that I walked
here without an umbrella?
-See? Mercury in retrograde.
-No, bitch,
it's tornado season.
Maybe the water could,
like, wash away our sins.
[ Cat meows ]
What's Shirley Temple
doing here?
-Uh, Cherry is also having
a nervous breakdown.
-Pumpkin, I went
on a hot girl jog this morning.
Could somebody having a nervous
breakdown go on a jog?
-Pumpkin, do you know
how hard it is to get a cupcake
to look like a pumpkin?
But I got that done...
for you.
-Guys?
I think we need to talk
about Pickle.
-Everyone, please eat
your I by I, please.
-Thank you.
-[ Giggles ]
-Swallow your seed.
-Sure.
-Mmm!
That's very good.
-[ Vomiting ]
-Apple?
-What the hell was
in my I by I's?
-What?
What are you talking about?
-Did you put something in --
[ Vomiting ]
Don't touch me.
-Um. I'm gonna walkie Sharon.
-Don't you dare, Fig!
-I'm sorry. Okay?
I'm just a little freaked out.
First it was Pickle,
and now this?
Dude, you know it's bad
when the scientist is scared.
-Yeah, Apple, could we sidebar
for a quick second?
-Not right now.
-It's actually a 9-1-1.
Hey, so, um,
did you girlboss again?
-What the freak
are you talking about?
-You know, like, with your dad?
-Stop talking!
Okay, who did this?
I know it wasn't me.
I know it wasn't
the Icing by Ina chick
because I caught her
blowing the Keep Calm
and Cookie On employee.
-She's hooking up with him, too?
-What do you mean by "too"?
-So, I have the ultimate
blackmail on her.
So, who did this?
-Wait, where were you guys
when Pickle jumped?
-Where was Pumpkin?
I mean, she could have been
the snake this whole time.
That's why she's over there
running for mayor of Vomville.
-You are so fucking ugly
right now, Cherry.
I don't care how much
Rare Beauty mascara you use.
Your insides are on fire,
and I can smell the smoke.
Emergency Paradise tonight.
-What?!
-No excuses.
Remember, we did this hex
to eliminate the snake.
We will find out who they are.
-Something's burning
deep within my love
Something's burning
deep within...
-Congrats on grad school,
baby boo.
-[ Squeals ]
I'm sorry. Um, sorry,
I just --
I don't want them knowing
what's going on in my life
right now, you know?
Um, oh, uh, don't come
to Free Eden tonight, okay?
I'm gonna meet you
at Ed Sheeran.
-Copy, Apple.
I'm running upstairs.
-I feel you safe in my arms
Sleeping deep and deep
and deeper
No one fuck with my love
'cause i'm capable of murder
-[ Gasps ]
[ Screams ]
-It's not safe here.
-Something's burning
deep within my love
Something's burning
deep within my love
-As we all know,
Marilyn Monroe was murdered
by the United States government
on August 4th, 1962.
After her love affair
with our John F. Kennedy,
she knew too much.
They underestimated her
due to her beauty
and her perfectly placed mole.
She needed to be eliminated.
The feminine sacrifice.
Open this.
-Oh, yes.
-We cannot let her death
be in vain.
-Oh, I'm sorry I couldn't get it
with my --
-So, our question remains.
Who is our JFK?
Is it you, Fig?
Are you our John F. Kennedy?
Is it you, Cherry?
Are you our handsome president?
The ultimate traitor?
Somebody fucking say something!
Fine.
I didn't want it
to come to this.
But in order
for the truth to be revealed,
for Marilyn to truly
speak to us,
we must do a sacrifice.
It is the only way
to save Paradise.
We must offer up...
...Shirley Temple.
-Apple!
-What the fuck?
-You know
she's all I have left.
-Have you ever killed
something before, Apple?
-Do I just mean nothing to you?
-No, no,
it's just she's my family.
-Enough!
Enough!
I am so fucking done
with this coven.
-Is this a coven?
-I only took this job
because I wanted to wear
floral lingerie
as a summer dress,
and because I was trying
to save money
so that I could submit
applications for grad school.
But guess what, mother fuckers,
I got in.
I'm done.
This shit has been killing me.
-Yeah, but you don't
have to leave
because you're not the snake.
You're not John F. Kennedy.
-Apple,
I'm the one who told Pumpkin
about Pickle.
And I'm glad that I did,
because look at what happened.
Why won't anybody talk
about what happened?
She died.
I washed her brain matter
out of my fishnets.
-You can't leave!
If you leave, we can't finish
the retail season cycle.
-Cherry, you are
a lip gloss shell.
Can't you see
that she is poison?
-Emily.
-Norman,
what are you doing here?
-I told you I would meet you
at Ed.
-You said you weren't safe.
I came to see you.
What's going on?
-Fig!
Why is he calling you...Emily?
-Yeah, is your name
fucking Emily?
-Yes, my name is Emily.
My name is fucking Emily.
It is mind boggling to me
that you are all named
after quirky fruit.
I mean, who in the fresh
hell names their baby Fig?
-Is this a cult?
-Hi.
I am in love with Norman,
and I want to speak to him
in words, not emojis.
-Apple, he's the snake.
-Take me to Ed Sheeran, baby.
-He's the snake!
-Nice to meet you.
-[ Gasps ]
-[ Screaming ]
-[ Screaming ]
-Norman!
-Uh...uh...
I tripped.
I tripped!
I...I...
Okay, well, surely we don't have
to sacrifice Shirley anymore.
So, I am -- oh, Fig!
Fig, I feel like this is ending!
I don't want this to end!
I don't care
if your name is Emily.
-What did you do?
-Fuuuuck!
Fuck! Fuck!
[ Exhales sharply ]
You're fine.
Sorry you had to see me
like that, Marilyn.
-Is this...
recording?
-Pumpkin, I need to talk to you.
-Fig! Emily!
Oh!
Apple, what happened
to your robe?
-It's deceased.
-What was that?
[ Alarm blares ]
-Oh, my God.
-What?
-Tornado warning
in Dallas County.
-There's a tornado warning?
-Yes, in effect all night.
-Oh!
-What are you doing?
-Well, Shirley Temple gets
triggered by natural disasters.
Fire, air, water.
Pretty much all the elements.
I should go get her.
-Leave the cat.
What are you doing?
-I'm calling my mom.
-Cellphone towers go down
around here when tornadoes hit,
electricity might, too.
Did you know
that this was a camera?
-It doesn't say
it's gonna be bad, right?
-Cherry, Pumpkin
and I need to talk.
-No, no, no, I need to go home
because my mom is alone
and we have a closet
we hide in during tornadoes.
-And leave us both for dead?
-She doesn't have a home.
She lives in her car.
-Enough!
-That's the sound
of the storm gates closing,
so you won't be able to get out.
-No, no, I am gonna find one,
and I'll come back
for y'all, okay?
I promise. I promise.
-Loosey fucking goosey
with those lips lately, Cherry.
What the fuck is your problem?
-I was just going to get --
Are you mad at me?
-Yeah.
You stabbed Norman in the cheek
with a meat cleaver, so...
-I tripped.
-Tripped?
It is so fucking exhausting
to keep track of the way
you manipulate narratives.
Are you the main character,
or are you the fucking victim?
-Do you not believe me?
-No!
Aah!
Fuck!
-I love you, Normaaaaaaaan!
-Fig...
Fig, can you hear me?
-Norman broke up with me.
-Fig, we're trapped.
The mall is on lockdown.
-Oh, Pum,
you're in crisis, too, babe?
Are you okay?
-No. Call 9-1-1.
-Okay, okay. I'm coming.
-Don't!
Call 9-1-1.
-Um, in the employee manual,
there were emergency tunnels,
Pum.
Just be cool.
I'm coming, I'm coming.
-Are we still best friends?
-You know, I don't believe
in hierarchy
in female relationships.
-You didn't answer
the question.
-What is the first rule
of Paradise?
-Shine theory.
-You broke it.
You dimmed
my fucking glow, girl.
You dimmed all of our glows.
You ruined Paradise.
It's over.
You just had to fucking
self-destruct.
It was inevitable.
Such a fucking
unattractive quality.
-You killed your dad, Apple!
-So what?
At least I'm not fucking boring.
-You're the snake, Apple.
You never helped me for me.
You helped me for you.
I never had a drinking problem.
-[ Laughs ]
Hiding mini bottles of tequila
under cowboy hats
is a fucking problem.
-It was gin.
And this is Texas.
What else is there to do?
You know what's the saddest
thing about you, Apple?
You're alone.
You're so alone, you're like --
like the depths of the ocean.
Like those deep, dark places
where only
those glow-in-the-dark,
creepy creatures live.
I'm alone
because my family died.
But you...choose to be.
-You know nothing
about my family.
-I do.
And I feel sorry for you.
Why do you hurt the people
that love you the most?
-You can't trust the people
who say they love you the most.
-That's the most fucked up
thing I've ever heard.
[ Sighs ] Well...
since we're not best friends
anymore,
I guess I can be who
I really am.
Boring.
And boring people aren't
very good at keeping secrets,
are they?
-Don't.
-Don't?
The world deserves to know
who you really are, Apple.
Hey!
What the fuck?
Are you high?
-[ Laughs ]
-[ Gasps ]
[ Thunder cracks ]
-[ Screams ]
-Cherry, stop running.
I just want to talk.
-Apple, my shoe's caught!
Apple!
My nails!
They're too long!
-Cherry!
-Fig! I mean Emily!
-[ Gasps ]
I can't open it. It's stuck.
-[ Whimpers ]
-Cherry, grab my hand!
-No, no.
[ Screaming ]
Fig! Fig!
[ Panting ]
-Hey, guys, what --
-[ Screams ]
-No!
-I'm okay!
I just tripped!
Noooo!
Aaah!
-Pumpkin, go find the breaker!
Apple, if you don't do anything,
I'm gonna tell everyone
you did it.
-Here!
-Am I the main character now?
-Apple!
-Aaaaah!
-Aaaah! Cherry!
-Guys, I couldn't find
the breaker!
-Pumpkin! Pumpkin! Run!
She's gonna kill us!
-Fig?
-Oh! That was close.
Come on, come on, come on,
Pum, we have to go.
[ Metal squeaks ]
-Fig...
Aaaaah!
Oh, my God!
-Let's go wash off.
Come on in, Pum,
the water feels nice.
-Uh, grab us a penny
to make a wish.
-Cute.
Oh, I thought I found one.
But it was just a nickel.
-Right.
-If I had a nickel
for every nickel...
Pumpkin, what are you doing?
-Nothing.
-Hey.
I got you.
I think it was always meant
to be the two of us.
The others were
just background noise.
Together, we can create
something new.
-A new Paradise?
-Exactly, a new garden.
But this time,
it will be unbreakable.
-Do you know who I am, Apple?
-[ Laughs ]
You finally asked.
You're Pumpkin from Plano.
Daughter to...
...a widowed,
overbearing mother.
You're always searching
for a missing puzzle piece.
You're always looking
for a sister to braid your hair.
-Funny timing
that I learned I had one
right before our dad died.
-You didn't know about me?
I've known about you
since I was a kid.
-I didn't know about you
as a kid.
They didn't tell me about you
till last year.
I thought my dad was too kind
to have a mistress.
-My mother was his wife.
-So was mine.
-[ Laughs ]
It's not our fault
they married a monster.
-A monster?
Dad was my best friend.
-We should get out.
-Did you do it?
-It's not about what I did.
It's about what he did.
To me, to my mother, to you.
-He didn't do anything to me.
He loved me.
-He loved you?
He lied to you.
What kind of a man leaves
one family to starve
while the other gets
a fucking Thanksgiving feast?
That is the most clever
kind of cruelty.
Because it's the kind no one
would even fucking suspect.
He abandoned me, Pumpkin.
He was a bad man.
I have given you everything,
sister.
Why won't you choose me?
-Because I don't know you!
And I've been trying
to figure it out for months.
But Paradise isn't real, Apple.
So, just tell me.
Who are you?
Sister to sister.
-Oh, my God.
You're the snake.
-What? What?
-Sister to sister?
You've been spying on me,
cuntess.
You set me up.
My cupcake didn't
make you fucking sick.
You took a sip of my latte.
Coffee makes you vom.
Snake.
-Just admit what you did to Dad!
-Please, please, just tell me.
For me, I need to know, Apple.
-You did this to yourself,
Pumpkin.
You want destruction,
and you crave chaos.
I'm horrific,
but you're a fucking tornado.
And none of this would have
happened if you hadn't shown up.
-Well, you're a terrible
fucking friend
and an even worse sister.
-You're just fucking like them!
-You know what, I am.
And I am nothing like you.
-Pumpkin...
-Apple?
-Daddy's little girl?
Daddy's little angel?
He poisoned me first.
A childhood full of his venom
and a slow fucking death.
Mom?
Mom?
Why won't you just let me
protect you?
Why do you hate me
for saving you?
-Snake poison was
how I needed to kill him.
I needed to kill him.
I needed to kill him.
I needed to kill him.
And you're just like him.
No, you're just like her.
And you're abandoning me
for eliminating a monster.
How could she not see?
How could she not see me?
I am the antidote.
I am Eve.
[ Chuckling ] I am...reborn.
Forgive me, Marilyn,
for I have sinned.
[ Chantal Kreviazuk's
"In This Life" plays ]
-Let me show you
What I'm made of
Good intentions
Are not enough
To get me through today
And this life
-After a brutal tornado season
for the South,
a storm struck down at many
points in the Dallas Metroplex.
At the Highland Place Mall,
the tornado hit its peak,
leaving many of the stores
destroyed.
-Okay, pumpkin spice latte
for -- Oh.
-...for any known survivors
continues.
-Do you want whipped cream
with that, ma'am?
-Abso-fucking-lutely I do.
-At night
[ Indistinct conversations ]
In this life
-Bluebonnet, your Tutti Fruity
dragon fruit drink.
For Chrysanthemum,
passion fruit lemonade.
Caramel black tea.
Oh, your cake pop.
[ Indistinct conversations ]
-Thanks.
I'm such a grump when I don't
have my cream dream cake pop.
Oh, my God, babe.
I'm completely obsessed
with your bracelet.
[ Meg Smith's "Jesus Christ
in a Mini Skirt" plays ]
Flowers.
Look at this.
Are you looking for a job, babe?
-Could be insecure
So you wanna fix me
Madonna or whore
If you want, I could be
-Come on.
-Jesus Christ in a miniskirt
And you'd still want her
I could be your femme fatale
Or damsel devotee
Lose myself
If you want, I could be
Jesus Christ in a miniskirt
And you'd still want her
I, I wanna kill your dad
I, I, I, I wanna
kiss your neck
I, I, I, I wanna
fill your bed
I, I, I wanna
be yours instead
I, I, I, I wanna
I could be just like her
Everything you always
wish I were
Flawlessly faultless
She's Jesus Christ
[ Cat meows ]
[ Camera shutter clicking ]
[ Indistinct conversation ]
-Check the north side.
-Ma'am, you can't be here.
-Ma'am? Ooh!
Sharon Sullivan,
Dallas PD Homicide Unit.
I've been here all day.
I didn't think she'd kill
her own sister.
-Wait, what?
-Oh, I've been undercover
on this case for months.
Apple is a suspect
in two poisoning cases.
Isn't that right, Shirley girl?
-Do you have any idea
what the hell happened here?
-Well, Pumpkin was spying
on her sister,
but I never thought that...
[ Bag zipping ]
Jane.
-What the fuck is she doing?
-Look, look.
These have cameras
in the binoculars.
Forensics,
is that the victim's phone?
Thank you.
Oh, oh, come on.
[ Cellphone beeps ]
It's connected.
-[ Screams ]
-We're gonna need backup.
I think we got her.
-Do we know where she is?
-I can't say for certain,
but I have a pretty fucking
good idea where to start.