Four Boxes (2009) Movie Script

I am a privacy fence salesman.
Top sales,
three straight years.
Goal...
make manager by next spring.
Quit selling dead people's crap
on the weekends.
Get excited about my wedding.
Hey, man.
Wanna do a couple funerals?
'Sup, douche?
Go time, playa.
"You die, and we fly".
Know what I'm sayin'?
Know what I'm sayin',
Trevor G?
William Zill.
Centerville.
Sounds like a loser.
Yeah, that one looked hot.
Connie Campbell.
- Remember her three years ago?
- Yeah.
The unicorn collection
got me my flat-screen.
Two weeks
till they sell the house.
Mm.
Let's get the shit, hombre.
This is the place
we've been looking for.
Hey.
I saw on the Internet
that shrimp fettuccine...
is only 293 people in the whole
world's favorite food...
outta 2 million.
I'm special.
Speaking of special...
did you and the little lady
set a date yet?
No, Rob.
Still waiting for the...
pagoda.
What's a pagoda?
- Ay, caramba.
- "F."
This looks like one of my mom's
Bible-study buddies' places.
Ew!
You're old enough
for your own condo, man,
especially with the big promotion.
Promotion.
F~ing I.T. Wage wookie man.
I swear,
every one of these places...
- is getting worse.
- Bunch of junk.
Look at that.
- TV?
- Yeah.
All this crap from Bang a Gong
ain't selling on eBay, man.
Word.
We'll see what he's got upstairs.
Bunch of junk.
Yeah, baby.
Whoops.
Nice porn.
What do you know?
Another nut.
What do you know?
Why everybody
gotta be so weird?
- Computer.
- Yep.
Oh, shit.
Trevor, check it out.
This guy's seen "Four Boxes".
What's "Four Boxes"?
I'll show it to you.
Seriously, I thought I was
the only one that knew about it.
It's this freaky
little deep Google site...
I found googling
cheap cardboard boxes.
Fourboxes dot tv.
Regular voyeur site,
whatever.
Chick put tiny,
invisible cameras up...
all over her apartment.
Watch this chick eat cereal,
flick the bean,
get ready for work,
blah, blah, blah.
But, no, then it starts to rock.
Couple weeks ago,
chick moves out, takes her shit,
but didn't unhook
the cameras.
Then, a couple days ago,
guy rents the place...
fourboxes dot tv...
to a totally new person.
There he is.
This guy doesn't know
he's being watched.
And the dude trumps the chick.
Man, he's f-ing weird.
I call him Havoc.
Where is this coming from?
No way to know, man.
Four rooms, four boxes...
full of... plastic crap
from China.
I mean, where's it not
coming from, yo?
Sound?
Silent movie.
Doesn't look like
a chick's place.
- I know.
- Where's the Glade Pluglns?
It did, man.
A hot one, too.
Bummed to see her go.
She had an awesome ass.
This guy brought
all this crap in...
and totally
just trashed the place.
Hey.
What's up with this?
Oh, yeah. Cops said
this dude's ex-wife...
hung herself over here
six months ago...
just to fuck with the guy.
Suicides rule!
Like my dad...
get outta our way, losers.
I love it, man.
I love it.
When my parents
were still married,
this is all they had...
everywhere.
I probably gonna have
to waste some money...
and pick up that new
Chili Peppers disc when I get a sec.
It's out today.
Anthony Kiedis.
Flea.
It sucks when suddenly
you realize you're old school.
Yeah, it sucks.
Play some live,
for Christ sakes.
Life sucks, dude, right?
Yep.
Life sucks.
Ooh
Ooh
Shower.
Yeah.
No f-in' way!
Yeah, baby.
Losers rule!
What is this shit?
That's about
Did you see the photo album
of this dude's upstairs?
All the faces are
cut outta the pictures.
BFD. My mom cut Tim's face
out of all my baby pictures.
Yeah, one big difference here,
homeslice...
these pictures ain't got no fat,
ugly bitch in them, next to the hole.
True dat.
That is pretty weird, I guess.
It's like someone
was trying to get rid of themselves.
Man... I remember when I was a kid
just laying on my bed...
listening to the fucking shit
on "Californication".
Wasn't that just,
like five years ago?
Yeah, I guess.
I don't know.
Oh. Check these, man.
- Mm.
- Get in that basket, bitch.
Oh, yeah...
What's she here, dude?
Chips-and-dip bowl,
I guess.
Computers make me horny.
One cool thing the Internet
makes you realize...
the only difference
of all the world's chicks...
I mean,
with their clothes off...
is their teeth and the fucking
couches they're spread- eagle on.
Fit's like a burlap bag
for a couch,
then it's probably, like, Russia.
Word.
Should we just sleep here, then?
Why not? Easy.
Mmm. I gotta try
to start drinking wine now.
How come?
I gotta grow up.
Wack place.
- Hey, babe.
- Hey, honey bundle.
And hi, Trevor.
- Got some breakfasts.
- Sweet.
I'm flippin' ravenous over here.
What're you doing here, Amber?
- Hey, I invited her, man.
- What? Why?
Um... because she's my fiancee,
and I wanted her here.
What about our work, homes?
It's my choice, bro,
and I wanted her here.
Any of you guys
remember last summer?
I introduced you guys
at TGl Bardays?
You, my girlfriend?
You, my junior partner?
You did me dirty, man.
Trevor, things just happen.
- Fate and chance and...
- Oh, here we go.
It's, like, don't you got
a new girlfriend now, too?
Things flow, Trevor.
Things are.
- Every day's a new world.
- Yeah. Brit.
We're engaged, actually.
Brit.
That's right...
Brit.
Well, see, that's grand.
That's grand.
You sound like your mom.
Really? Well, awesome.
She's my best friend, so...
That bitch is your best friend?
Not cool.
Hey, man.
Come on.
You might've fucking
told me the plan, partner.
Yeah, but it was my plan, broseph.
Plus, I knew if I told you,
you would never have gone for it.
- Oh, flubber!
- What happened, cooch?
Oh, no biggie bigsville.
Just munched
a 45 dollar manicure in the ass.
Girl thing.
Still really ticked
about my futon, too.
Futon?
What futon?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is super awesome.
Yeah.
Do it righteous.
- Totally awesome.
- Yeah!
Oh, keep having sex!
I love it!
This is so strange.
What's that?
Whatever, Rob.
What you listen to?
Music?
Yeah.
I had to drown out the racket.
Hmm.
Sunset.
Sunset.
A~ha.
Ah, shit.
What the fuck?
All we ever talk about
Is all the things
we think about
Organize my garage.
Like love and pain
and loneliness
Dump Brit.
And me and you
and tenderness
And now
Now
And now I'm on my own again
And learning how to love again
And learning how to love again
La choy is in the hizz.
- Why am I hungry again?
- Rankrizzle.
You just pile-drived, pile-drove,
like 10 egg rolls.
God.
This bed is like holy hell.
I knew this would be weird
with Trevor.
Us planning our wedding,
and him...
so out of touch
with the flow of his emotions.
You totally still have
a thing for him, don't you?
Someone posted something
on my site.
What, on "Tears of sadness"?
"Tears of confusion".
Jesus, Rob.
Learn my site name.
Oh...
a pervert in Colorado
thinks I'm hot.
Awesome.
Yeah, it is awesome.
What I mean is maybe it wasn't
copacetic, for us to come up here,
or down here or wherever
we are, you know what I mean,
like, have everything be all...
outta tune.
Rob, it's like...
you know, it's tough news,
but it's true.
Trevor and I used to rump-ride,
and that's always a BD,
a big deal, you know?
You know?
I mean, come on.
He's, like... out of tune with his,
like, emotions, you know?
I mean, and I know
that's not our problem, you know?
It's, like, he's the one
that needs to be dealing with it.
Like, we can't come up here,
come down here...
Like, what the fuck
are you even saying?
I mean, seriously.
I can't even follow it, actually.
- Whatever.
- Whatever.
Jesus.
God,
I look fat with my guitar.
Oh, shit.
I forgot to pick up the new
Chili Peppers disc today.
Creepy.
If you watch too much Web,
it makes you a loser.
You know that, right?
- Look!
- Oh, my God. Those are feet.
That's so messed.
Remember, dudes, everything
on the Internet is bullshit.
In fact,
everything's bullshit everywhere.
Shouldn't we
tell someone about that?
Are you stoned?
Yeah.
I'm always stoned, Trevor?
Is that it?
It helps me balance.
Actually, I'm thinking
this is maybe Europe.
God!
I should not have shown you
that website, man.
I forgot how you get all...
- Ease up, man.
- What'd I do?
You stoned, too?
Yeah.
I could not live
in a dirty shithole like that.
I swear to God.
I second that emotion.
What you doing, bro?
Dude, not everything
is a Stephen King book, yo.
Are you having your period?
My bad.
- She's the one that got me riled.
- What'd I do?
"Thistle, your tits are hot,
but your singing sucks".
Like, who would take the time
to sit down and type this?
- Dudes.
- Oh, this guy.
Dudes, dudes, dudes, dudes!
Oh.
Told you everything
on the Web is bullshit.
I'm outie.
Amber!
I'm gonna run and get a southwestern
ranch hand on ciabatta.
You want one?
Okay.
Awesome.
Where's the Subway?
By BP.
Finally got
a remote car starter, huh?
Total lifesaver, Trevor.
BRB.
Southwestern rizzle hiii-zz.
Sauce?
Three cheddar churn?
Hmm. Nice.
Where's Rob?
Sleeping.
Gotta hit the gym.
Gettin' fat.
Tell me about it, dawg.
What happened
to your Saturn?
Oh, I backed into a pole
at work.
I screwed up the wheels
but good.
Drunk?
Mm, yeah.
I was celebrating.
I had a big gig
at Tracey's store.
The candle and incense store
at Tamarack?
That was your big gig?
Yeah, Trevor.
It was a great turnout.
Thought it closed.
This was before,
a while ago.
Rob ever find out
about the shitface shack?
No.
And he better not.
I'm really with him now, Trevor.
I'm 30 years old.
I'm finally in a place where
I have to think about my future.
- I gotta grow up.
- I know.
I'm going to bed.
I get it.
I know.
Trevor... grown-ups do
what they don't wanna do.
I know!
Awesome!
Yes!
Oh, God! Yes!
Oh, no...
Awesome!
Dot.
Watching.
I'm dot.
House.
My...
Have you...
If...
"If you have my money,
you never leave this house alive.
I'm watching".
What the fuck?
Who wrote that?
Oh... man.
Hey, Rob!
God damn, dude!
Smoking again?
I so gotta quit.
Ew...
I need some gum bad.
Check this.
Oh, my God.
What the fuck?
And I think that leaf blower...
just blew the shniked
out of a kitty cat.
Okay, I'm sorry, this site
is getting really wack.
Mmm.
Are you still on Ambien?
I have nightmares, Trevor.
Somebody should get all up
in this asshole's grille.
Yeah, you're right about that.
I miss my computer.
You could go home.
Mm, too scary there.
My roommate's in Tampa.
Lucky ducky.
I wanna be in Tampa.
Don't take away
Another piece of me
Don't break away
Another part of me
Don't leave me
Crying to myself
Don't make me
Come crawling back to me
I can feel my hair getting
all screwed up when I sing.
Where's Rob?
Brown.
Did Bill Zill succumb?
What?
Did Bill Zill die?
Yeah.
Trevor Grainger,
I'm getting really tipsy.
Take me inside.
Trevor G,
we are way out of line here.
I know,
but I feel outta line.
But I wanna start acting
like I should, though.
- Fuck!
- Oh, shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!
What's up?
Good morning, dollface.
Just grabbing... grabbing
a bloody for the shower.
Good choice.
You smell like Tommy for Men.
Dude, what're you
even talking about?
Looks like you two been eating
the same Krispy Kreme...
at the same time.
Chill, oh, Chachi.
You're dreaming.
Just talking, dude.
Don't forget, we used to do it,
you know?
We have stuff to talk about.
Yeah, I know.
You used to do it.
Everyone keeps reminding me.
Don't forget whose idea
to have her come here, hombre.
She's my fiancee, man.
I don't usually say shit
like this to you, Trevor,
but get over it.
Me and her...
we're getting married, dude.
We're gonna push plastic strollers
full of babies...
around Disneyland, a'ight?
- You're just trippin', man.
- Yeah.
That's what I'm hoping.
Oh, there's
your mystery disk computer.
Wake it up, man.
"Shooting Spree"?
Yep.
Should we play a little
before we ship the TV?
That thing
is fucking old school.
Hmm.
They're all upstairs.
They're all hiding in the bathroom,
you fucking idiots!
There was something strange
going on in this house.
There's something strange
going on inside every house, yo.
Eh!
Suck it, mall walker!
Rob!
Come check this!
Terrorists.
Yep.
And Havoc's the scientist.
It's just like... in movies.
A terrorist hires a scientist
to build him some bombs...
and then knocks him off
when he's done with him.
You think that's it?
Look how he's
looking out the window, dude.
When he looks out,
it's not right.
It's like he's looking...
past the window.
You guys,
there's someone outside.
I was just sitting here,
and I saw someone out in the yard,
and I thought it was Rob,
but then you guys were talking,
and the guy was, like,
still there.
- Oh, for real, Bambers?
- Yeah, for real, Rob.
- Should we check it?
- No.
You know, I would so love to
not have you always asking me,
"For real, for real?"
Yeah, for real!
- Why would I make it up?
- Okay.
I'm not, like, making things up.
You think I'm lying?
I said it was for real,
so it's for real, obviously.
- Okay... I'm sorry!
- I'm not making it up!
- Guys.
- Okay... Okay...
I'm not just saying it
just to make shit up! God!
I don't see anything.
Yeah,
I don't see anything either.
Ah! Fuck!
What the F... man?!
God!
- Quit following...
- What'd you see, guys?
Yeah, there was
somebody out there, Amber.
We saw a bunch
of strange footprints.
There's somebody
watching this place, I think.
I get
that feeling, too, you know?
I found a really weird message
on the typewriter...
if you run
the ribbon backwards.
I think it's probably
just the ding-hole neighbor.
I'm going to bed.
Come on, Amber.
Can I get by?
God.
Can I? God.
Is there something
you wanna tell me, partner?
Have a good night.
Is somethin' hidden?
Idea... a website that tells you
where something hidden is,
things you hate but need,
in your area,
like, uh... new tires or...
vacuum-cleaner bags.
Those bran breakfast muffins,
shit like that.
Hatebutneed...
dot com.
Mmm...
poor guy.
Hi, Trevor.
He'll wake up.
I gave him a noctizine.
- Yeah, baby, yeah!
- Mm!
Yeah!
Yeah, baby!
Yeah, baby, yeah.
Righteous.
Trevor G. rocks my world.
Yeah!
Yeah, baby!
Yeah.
Righteous.
Ow.
Oh, my goodness...
Jesus and Joseph.
I'm numbly.
- What's up?
- You guys gotta look at this.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Crap...
He hurt her.
Should we tell someone about this?
Just watch, guys.
That's what the Internet's for.
Rob, I swear to God,
you are so twisted.
What?
Why's everybody against me here?
I can't believe I'm still hungry.
Here, have some Pop-Tarts.
We're busy watching this.
I don't want Pop-Tarts.
I want a frickin' McMuffin.
BFD, spaz!
So, go get one!
- Christ!
- Guys!
I should write a song about
how big computers are in our lives.
Oh, my God!
That's OOC!
Who loves computers
more than you?
My brother!
Oh, man...
What happened?
What happened?
Dah...
There's someone at the door.
I think it's the police
checking for a gas leak.
You mean the fuzz?
Yeah, he must've caught his chemicals
on some kinda sensor.
Come on, man.
Find her, hurry.
- Guys.
- Oh... my... crap.
This is insane.
Dudes, what if this is real?
Then it's awesome.
Rob, you're like a person
I don't even know sometimes.
Oh, yeah? Who cares?
Guys.
It's gotta be a joke, though, right?
Shit's real, Rob.
Some shit's actually real.
Don't get too, like, theoretical.
I'm just saying
it doesn't seem that likely...
that some lady
doing regular voyeur,
taking her clothes off, whatever,
splits and these two terrorists
show up and start building bombs
and killing people
while the cameras are on, does it?
God. Think sometimes, Bambo.
Guys, maybe that's it.
Maybe they're trying to terrify us...
I mean, terrorize us...
about how sick they are...
and how smart and all,
they are.
How many bombs they made.
So, uh... they make up this crap
about a naked woman,
or they actually get
a naked woman...
what better way
to attract attention...
and then they move over
to this stuff...
when they got a big audience.
Entertain 'em...
terrorize 'em.
That actually makes
a lotta sense.
So, it's about terror.
Big surprise.
What isn't nowadays?
- Bullshit.
- September 11th?
That was real, right, Rob?
You gotta remember, some stuff
is, like, actually happening.
Yeah, well, if it's happening,
don't worry about it.
Somebody else
is probably watching this shit.
Somebody else will figure it out.
Amber, wild wings, come on.
You're not staying here.
I gotta crap, Rob.
- I think there's something...
- This crap's real.
There's something
that we missed.
It's Friday. We were supposed
to be done with this job by now.
Amber!
- Let's roll!
- You need to step off, yo.
Shower, Rob.
Shower, shits, and wedding...
that's my life.
Yeah, so?
Meat- lover's pizza, "Halo 3"...
and "let me cum on your tits"...
that's my life.
Yo.
Rob...
I figured something major out.
Oh, yeah?
What you figure out, buddy?
The cylinders, the killer things,
are in people...
dead people in coffins...
being shipped home to be buried.
They dig them up
when they get where they're going,
and they get out the killer things...
the cylinders.
They put them in tail pipes.
Uh... there cities
marked on every box,
and they're going everywhere,
'cause they're impossible
to trace through the coffins...
and through
the people in the boxes.
Oh, man...
Cars are the killers.
And everybody dies.
Okay.
- Oh, man.
- What?
Well, everybody's gonna die.
Trevor!
What's the most...
pervasive thing you think about?
What do you mean?
Like work?
No.
Like for me, it's...
being afraid.
You know what I mean?
No.
Afraid... life's just gonna be
more of the same.
Like stuck...
Mother!
Hey.
So, what did we miss on the site?
What's up, douche?
- That guy's called Ziploc.
- Hmm.
Are you mad at me?
I'm mad at myself.
I act like such a kid.
- What'd I miss?
- Cleaning the place out.
That's Ziploc.
Nice name.
Maybe we'll get to see
if that guy finally gets offed.
This is the best shit
ever on the Internet.
Oh. He feels bad. Poor guy.
'Cause they're gonna do him.
Rob, 'cause he made something
that's gonna kill people, probably.
Or not.
I mean, why is he crying?
That's weird behavior,
if they're filming this to, like,
try and terrorize people.
Mmmm...
he looks depressed.
I know how bad he feels.
Look, he's doing
something up there, see?
Hmm.
What I love
about Internet shows is no ads.
Let's hope that's not
the end of the story.
'Cause that shit
was weak as crap.
Although half the time, I love ads.
I don't know.
I'm going for a run.
I need to work off some of this
Monterey Jack, for Christ sakes.
Oh, I guess I'll go with.
William Zill.
"Basement ceiling.
Red key".
We're in "Four Boxes".
- What's up?
- Rob, you're cracked.
- Rob, where are you guys?
- Keeping it real, Amber!
You guys gotta get back here
right fucking now.
- Uh-huh.
- "Four Boxes", uh...
it was a fake.
It was a set.
They took it down.
You won't believe this.
You're not gonna believe this, dude.
It's a house.
It's this house.
We're inside of "Four Boxes".
- Right.
- And I'm really freaked out.
You guys got to get back here
right fucking now.
I guess they fucking
taped it... earlier.
It's this place, hombre!
N.J... no joke.
I found the cash
in the suitcase.
I... which I guess is what Ziploc
was looking for at the end.
Yeah, Rob.
Fucking real money
hidden in the ceiling.
And if the cash is real,
then Ziploc's real,
and he's gonna be coming...
'cause of the fucking note
in the ribbon...
typewriter ribbon.
So, you guys gotta get back here
right fucking now.
Okay, okay, okay.
Um, if the...
if the MF-ing website
was filmed here,
then, um... the cameras
are there and everywhere.
So, the action we were watching...
wasn't live.
It was taped.
And Havoc didn't know
he was being filmed.
Or he did.
Why would Havoc film this?
To terrorize people.
He's a fucking terrorist.
He's a fucking terrorist.
We're in Havoc's house.
Oh, my God.
Ziploc in this house.
Oh, fuck me!
Rob!
I'm scared.
Okay, okay.
Good.
Um...
"Silent/Microphone".
Rob switched that when we got here.
What's that?
It's a "Live Webcast".
We've been watching a webcast?
Okay, switch it to "live".
Oh, fuck me!
Send the police right now.
It's an emergency.
I'm at, uh... I'm, uh...
William Zill's house,
uh... at Deer Run Lane,
and there's, uh...
a Middle Eastern man...
wearing a turban,
and, uh... he's got no face,
and he's... he's, um...
uh... he's a terrorist!
So, come now.
Please! God! Hurry!
He's a fucking terrorist!
Oh, fuck.
Don't come down here.
Come on, come on, come on.
Fuck this!
Okay.
Here we go.
Trevor?
- Trevor?
- Trevor!
You got to answer us
right now, man!
What's that smell?
Amber, let's burn.
Something's wrong.
No!
Rob, we gotta find Trevor.
No, we don't gotta...
You still love him, don't you?
We're not the kinda people
who live happily ever after, are we?
No.
Rob! What was that?
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
This... isn't... good.
Hey, guys!
That's a mf-ing wrap!
Yeah!
Yeah.
Yeah, baby!
Yeah, baby.
That's what I'm talking about.
We're gonna be huge stars,
thanks to you, Trevor.
Let's get our butts down that Friday's,
start celebratin'.
We did it, man.
I'm fucking... bursting...
with wedding info for you, Trevor.
Oooh...
Good morning.
Yep. Just uploading footage
on the URL fourboxes dot tv.
Time till completion...
You know, this really is
the perfect TV show...
for the Internet.
Just one, long, stupid story
in one room.
Rob, quit saying that, for real.
It's my script.
Don't say that anymore.
Well, it's pretty damn stupid,
especially my part.
No, it's not stupid.
It's pretty perfect.
ROB: Dude, I didn't mean it
to sound so harsh.
I'm just... saying,
what won't people watch?
Okay, I... begin webcast
at URL "fourboxes dot tv"?
Yes, please.
Hey, here's what I wrote earlier...
"Hey, guys.
Check out this website.
It's called fourboxes dot tv.
This guy, we call him Havoc,
he moved into an apartment
set up for voyeur,
but he don't know it.
What's cooler still, he's weird,
always doing science
on mannequins,
and talking to some
terrorist dude named Ziploc.
We think
they're gonna kill someone.
"Enjoy".
Check this shit out.
Let's get this dude's stuff
moving for real now,
what we didn't wreck for props.
Six days till we're on live.
Oh, shit!
Trevor, check it out.
This guy's seen "Four Boxes".
Hmm.
What's "Four Boxes"?
I do a threesome, I think.
No dudes, though.
Wow. That went fast.
Trevor!
What?
- Can you believe that shit?
- I love it, man.
I love it!
Maybe it wasn't copacetic
for us to come up here,
or down here,
or wherever we are,
you know what I mean,
like... have everything be all...
Poor Bill Zill.
God, that's so sad!
Seems like more
than a week ago...
that we were putting
these cameras up.
This place
was an awesome backdrop.
Can't believe it took us
four months to find, though.
Fuck!
I gotta go to Home Depot.
I can't believe
you talked me into this.
You still got a hot bod, babe.
What's the problem?
I'm fat.
I know guys don't care, but...
I know this project was
something you wanted to get...
we wanted to get out of the way
before... our next chapter.
Before we give up for good?
Sell privacy fencing
for the rest of our lives?
There's lotsa people who
get married and have jobs...
and do the kid thing
and still do cool stuff, Trevor.
That's a lie, Amber.
You're so far inside the box,
it's just hilarious.
They're all upstairs.
They're hiding in the bathroom,
you fucking idiot!
There was something
strange going on in this house.
There's something strange
going on inside every house, yo.
Half a million hits, dude.
- Half a million hits, dude.
- Mm- hmm!
Rehearsal!
All right.
Rehearse, rehearse, rehearse.
We gotta rehearse the ending.
Tonight's the night
we switch to live...
and there's gonna be
a gang of people watching.
I'm into it.
I guess I am pretty nervous
about tonight, actually.
I think I might take a Paxil.
- No.
- Hey, I will if I want to.
Guys.
Tonight's the night
Ziploc kills us...
and then we go live.
Trevor G! G money!
Why don't you go first?
All right.
Uh... so, end of feed,
and then, uh-m..
surprise!
No terrorists! No murderers!
Just us, yo!
Uh...
uh... what's up, everybody?
Y'all boys and girls,
how you doin'?
And, um... uh...
What you all just been watching...
is a great big show
put on by myself, Trevor Grainger,
along with my pals
Amber Croft, Rob Rankrus,
which all together, what comprises
"fourboxes dot tv, LLC".
Uh... I'm Trevor Grainger,
as I mentioned...
and I played Havoc and Ziploc
and a city official...
and other parts in this drama
that you've just been watching.
Oh, and we also sat down
and decided to call it a cyberdrama.
So, uh...
Amber, take it away.
I'm Amber, Amber Croft
also known as Thistle.
Um... I played myself,
Havoc's victim,
uh... man in the yard,
movers, and other parts,
and I'm a singer/songwriter
and actress.
Oh, and you guys
should click to my website,
tearsofconfusion dot com...
You can't plug
your own website, Amber!
Shut up!
You can't talk to me like that!
I was just gonna say...
if you would've let me finish,
I was gonna say...
that you can link to all of our websites
through fourboxes dot tv,
if you would've let me.
God. Anyway...
Also, of course, um...
there's lotsa cool goodies for sale, too.
Wouldn't be a show, or cyberdrama,
without goodies.
Such cool stuff.
Um... you can order
a DVD of "Four Boxes"...
uh... cool T-shirt, you can see
more racy pictures of me.
Oh, buy my CD, "Broken Down
in the Middle of Nowhere"...
um... and just find out...
more about me...
and Trevor and Rob.
And then I'll be like,
"Peace! Over to you, Rob",
or something.
Right. Right.
And I'm like,
"Hey, everybody. What's up?
I'm Rob Rankrus.
I played myself, of course,
Havoc, Ziploc, movers,
and other good stuff.
I hope you guys
liked our story.
I'm sort of the technical dude
behind the operation.
I made it possible
for you guys to watch,
and I am so happy
that you did.
You guys kick ass!
- Yeah. Right on.
- Yeah, you guys rule!
Yeah, like,
buy some stuff from our site.
You know the address,
fourboxes dot tv.
We're doing a live chat
after the cyberdrama,
so stick around for that.
Also will be some other good stuff.
That was pretty all right.
I think the main priority will be,
you know, to see
who puts us on the TV.
So, I think we should
stay up live for, like, four hours,
then get back,
get ready to do the merch.
Once the story goes to TV,
that's when the site
pops the hardest.
I don't know if I'm gonna
go through with it, you guys.
Trevor, you act like
such a fucking dick!
Good, work at Allstate forever.
Eat me, fag!
I'm just trying to get
a little reaction from you...
- and you get all mental...
- Guys...
Well, what?
No... no one's even gonna care!
All they wanna know is did I
harrumph both you guys or not.
So, what's so hard about that?
Tell the truth...
you did me, you grinded him, right?
Only I really know that, right?
I'm gonna be like,
I'm gonna be like,
Goodbye, Allstate
Right?
I'm like, "Fuck you, Maple Grove!
I'm out!"
- I didn't do shit with my hair for tonight.
- Hey Amber, you wanna go with me...
to Buffalo Wild Wings?
All right.
All right.
Grab one of these boxes.
These are the last of the...
props in the house.
Proper props, y'all.
Are you coming?
No. I'm tired.
All right, homes.
Well, is everything
cleaned up, then?
No trace of nothing, man...
just the cameras and us.
Sweet.
Meet you in the CR-V.
I had something
really important to tell you...
for the last couple days,
but I just...
never feel like
you would care.
And you don't.
Ooh
Ooh
Ooh
Ooh
Now we're in "Four Boxes".
Rob, where you guys?
You have to
get back here right now.
We're in "Four Boxes".
I don't feel so good.
You're never
gonna believe this, dude.
We're at the house.
I kind of feel...
It's this house.
We're inside of "Four Boxes".
I guess I should've eaten
something with that Paxil.
- Vicodin.
- Me, too.
What about our show?
Hey.
Jesus.
We're in Havoc's house.
Rob!
I'm scared.
Okay, okay.
Good.
I wanna be
a Red... Hot... Chili Pepper.
Send the police right now.
It's an emergency.
I'm at, uh... William Zill's house,
uh... Deer Run Lane.
Are you on Deer Run Lane
or on Deer Run Circle?
Hurry!
He's a fucking terrorist!
Calm down, sir.
We have officers coming right now.
Trevor?
Trevor?
You got to answer us
right now, man.
- Trevor, baby?
- Something's wrong.
No!
Rob, we gotta find Trevor.
No, we don't gotta...
Trevor, baby...
I have something important
to tell you.
You still love him, don't you?
We got the pagoda.
We're not the kinda people
who live happily ever after, are we?
No.
Rob, what was that?!
Oh, my God!
This... isn't... good.
All we ever talk about
Is all the things
we think about
Like love and pain
and loneliness
And me and you
and tenderness
And now we come
to the place we start
Living to be free
Looking out for me
Rise above this eventually
Here I am
On the dark side
of the planet
In the far side of space
There's a universe of stars
And someone
to take your place
And love can fill
The emptiness between
So the drift
will come together
And we'll live to be free
Looking out for you and me
Gonna rise above this eventually
And now I'm on my own again
Learning how to love again
My fate will find me eventually
My heart struggles on
So spiritually
And I'll get to the place
Where I'm gonna start
Living to be free
Looking out for me
Gonna rise above this
eventually