Four Kids and It (2020) Movie Script

Hello, Ros.
How's that novel
you're working on?
It's okay, if you like scrumpled
pieces of paper in a bin.
You just haven't
found your story yet.
What's this one about?
[sighs] Um...
Oh, kids, magic...
Wishes that cause trouble.
Sounds a bit young.
Oh, no one's
too old for wishes.
Let's go, monkey.
Oh, no, no.
No charge.
Thank you.
[bell rings]
Is that gel in your hair?
Come on,
we're in a rush. Why?
- It looks weird.
- [groans]
- How weird?
- Really weird.
[kids cheering]
There you are!
You are coming with me,
young lady.
- I'm busy.
- Busy?
- [kids laughing]
- This is not busy.
I'm making friends.
You said I should
make friends, right?
Friends? This is not
what a friend looks like.
This... this is a mugshot
on the six o'clock news.
You're lucky
I don't call the cops.
Go ahead. Any luck,
I'll get deported.

[door opens]
[David] Robbie...
I thought I asked you
to pack!
What good is that?
What are you thinking
about wearing for underpants?
Because those games cartridges
are not gonna supply
adequate coverage.
Come on,
bit of action, please!
I just don't know
what's wrong with you, Smash.
I've got a good mind
not to take you
on this vacation at all.
So don't. Take me somewhere
- Like back home.
- We arehome.
This sucky little country?
Have you seen what they eat?
Mushy peas.
They eat mushy peas, Mom.
[phone ringing]
And they drive
on the left!
- [screaming]
- [horn honking]
Oh, my gosh,
you almost killed us!
You're gonna absolutely
love this place, guys,
I promise.
- Is there a phone signal?
- I hope not.
Imagine that, Robbie?
All that peace and tranquility.
Romping in the dunes.
And there's a...
there's a bit of a surprise.
- Is there Wi-Fi?
- No, there's no Wi-Fi.
- Is that the surprise?
- No.
- It isn't a very good surprise.
- Well, it's not the surprise.
What if mum wants to phone us?
What if she's having a crisis?
Mummy's a big girl,
she can look after herself.
Robbie, if you play
that thing all the way,
you're gonna be sick.

See? I've been packed
for weeks.
I did mention we're going
to the British coast, right?
You are, maybe.
This is my luggage
for the Seychelles,
where I'm moving
soon as dad
makes the call.
Smash, I don't think
your dad is--
Smash! Smash!
Hey, Maudie!
- You wanna fly?
- Yeah! Fly!
["Light It Up Remix feat. Nyla &
Fuse ODG" by Major Lazer
- What is this?
- [David] This is...
It's just some sounds
I'm getting in to.
Some new ones. Gotta, uh...
They're quite cool,
these guys, actually.
They're a...
um... band.
What do you think
the surprise is gonna be?
- [whispers] Nothing good.
- What if it's Mum?
What if they're
getting back together?
It'd be like before.
Long silences
and emotional repression?
Shh. Before that,
when it was all all right.
["Light it Up Remix"
continues playing]
There's white sand beaches
in the Seychelles,
and flamingos.
And probably tension,
and civil unrest.
There's no unrest
in the Seychelles.
[scoffs] Your father's there,
give them time.
- [phone ringing]
- [ringing stops]
What is this?
[scoffs] Oh, no, you have
got to be kidding me?
What? I can cook.
Well, I'm a mom,
aren't I?
Moms are supposed to cook.
I don't wanna get poisoned.
[all laughing]
- [Smash] You can't cook!
- You'll see.
You can't cook!

[birds squawking]
[exhales] So...
what do you think?
I feel sick.
Just keep calm, deep breaths.
In through the nose,
out through the mouth.
- It's coming out.
- Well, try to keep it in.
- There you go, darling.
- Thanks.
[David] Deep breaths.
[door opens]
[horn honking]
Who are they?
Let's go inside.
Maudie, Smash,
this is David.
Guys, I'd like you
to meet Alice.
You should know your mum
talks about you girls
all the time.
Oh, what a coincidence.
She doesn't talk
about you at all.
Why are you holding hands?
Well, um...
We have something
to tell you.
I feel sick.
[Alice] Ros, Robbie...
Your dad and I, well, um--
We've been, well,
we've been, um...
We've been seeing
each other.
That is revolting!
- Hey, Smash.
- Can we go home, please?
Wait, when you say
"seeing each other,"
you mean seeingeach other?
Look, this holiday's a great
opportunity for everyone
to get to know each other.
Come on. What do you say?
Great going, Mom.
You ruined my life.
I'm going to my room.
Okay. Let's go inside...
But... but what about Mum?
Ros, Mum's not...
That's my room!
I was here first!
[Smash] Are you kidding me?
It's my room!
I said get out!
[Smash] Stop it!
It's my room now!
[Ros] I was here first!
- [Smash] Stop it, go away!
- It's my room!
[door slams]
This is my half.
Stay out.
Who brings books
on a holiday?
- People who can read.
- People with no lives.
Look at these losers.
Get off that.
Look, we're gonna
make it work,
for all of them.
Yes, we are.
- [groans] Is that...?
- Yes.
Oh! [sighs]
[Smash] Get off of me!
- [girls yelping]
- [both sighing]
- You get off of me!
- Stop it!
- [screaming]
- [David] Hey!
- Both of you, calm down.
- She started it!
- She started it!
- Smash, you're
just impossible.
I don't wanna be here!
I don't want
to be here!
I have an idea.
Why don't we all go...
for a picnic?

[indistinct chatter]
This place is gross.
[Alice sighs]
Smash, try to be nice.
How? There's all
this gross stuff
on my shoe.
Tell you what,
why don't we play a game?
I spy with my little eye,
something beginning with W.
- Weirdo.
- [laughing]
Maudie, David
is not a weirdo.
- Oh.
- Hello!
You must be the new tenants
over at the cottage.
You must be Mr. Trent
from the, uh...
The mansion?
Yes, that's right,
I live in a mansion.
This is all
part of my estate.
This is, um,
quite some backyard
you got here.
Oh, I'm sorry, I can't
quite understand
what you're saying.
Oh! [chuckles]
- Alice is American.
- Ah! You're an American.
For a moment I thought
you had a speech impediment.
And you've got...
four children!
You have been busy,
haven't you?
[chuckles] Oh, no.
They're not all of our...
No, we're still getting
to know each other.
- As if we have a choice.
- [Alice] Smash, please.
And this is Alice's daughter.
Oh, and for some reason
you've called her Smash.
How delightful.
Who's the rest of the crew?
Crash, Bang and Wallop?
Oh, my...
Well, that is
You, don't move.
[camera beeps, clicks]
- Oh! And one
of the rest of you.
- [camera clicks]
Well, better be getting back
to the old mansion.
Do let me know
if you need, uh...
- Anything?
- Yeah.
That would go there
as a noun, wouldn't it?
Anything. Anything.
He seems like
a very interesting fellow.
Shall we? W.
- Anyone?
- Water?
Very good.
[videogame noises]
Why do you
call her Smash?
Her real name's Samantha.
["Let's Ride" by Ground Up
playing on phone]
Excuse me.
- [music stops]
- Hey.
[videogame noises]
Hey! Give it back!
- You want it?
- [Alice] Smash.
Hey! Give that back
now, Samantha!
- Don't call me that.
- Give me that back!
Give it back!
[Robbie yells]
Give it back!

- [yelps]
- [Ros] Smash?
Smash, are you all right?!
- Smash?
- It's a tunnel.
- Where does it go?
- Away from you.
We should tell someone.
She... she might get hurt.
- She's got my game.
- Robbie!
Robbie, come back!
- Wait for me!
- Maudie, no. Come back.

Maudie! Maudie,
come back! [grunts]
[Robbie] Give it!
- [Smash] Poor little Robbie.
- Give it!
[Smash and Robbie indistinct]
Robbie, be careful, just...
- It's dangerous!
- You wanna see dangerous?
[Ros] Smash, come down!
You're frightening Maudie!
Hey, Robbie Hood. Fetch.
[Ros] Smash!
Come on, kid.
What you scared of?
[gasps, grunts]
It's got my shoe!
It's got my shoe!
Oh, it's got my shoe!
Run, Maudie!
Run to the rocks!
Maudie, come here,
come here, come here.

It's coming!
What the...?
I can hit it!
Shall I hit it?!
- No! Hit her,
she's hurting me!
- [gasps]
Did it just speak?
Speak? That was
angry shouting.
If I was gonna speak, I would
have said something like,
"Oh! What's that?!"
Fine, you got me.
What do you want?
My sister's shoe.
I don't know
what you're talking about.
You stole it
right off her foot.
Anything that touches this beach
is an offering to the Psammead.
- Psammead?
- Yes, hello.
I'll take most offerings,
I'm not fussy.
I know this.
This is from my book,
Five Children and It.
The kids, they find this thing
and it gives them wishes.
One a day, but nothing
longer than a sentence.
But you don't want to wish.
They never work out.
There's consequences.
unfortunate happens,
you blame me,
I get a bad name.
Wishes are bad news.
I wish I was
the best climber in the world.
[inhales deeply , grunting]
Was that it?
What do you mean,
"was that it?"
I nearly burst!
So, we make a wish and you,
what, make a fart?
Magic isn't all twinkly lights
and stardust, you know.
Some of us have to work
with enchanted stomach gasses.
[burps] Now,
if you'll excuse me.
Wait! Don't go.
Oh, yeah, we wanna wish
for more farts.
I'm sorry,
did I make the granting
of your heart's desire
look easy?
Because it isn't!
It's extremely tiring!
- And stinky.
- Hmm...
If you want a dead Psammead
on your hands,
go ahead,
ask for two wishes.
Until then, one a day
is the best I can do.
Come back tomorrow,
if you survive this one.

I want my fairy.
Look, it works!
Robbie, be careful!
Hey! Whoa!
These wishes, they can...
There's a catch,
I know there is.
Higher! Faster!
Maybe we should go
and look for them.
Maybe we should
stay here and...
No, I think we should
look for them.
[sighs] I guess that would be
- the responsible thing to do.
- Mmm.
- [phone ringing]
- Ooh. Got bars.
Wait one second.
- Hello?
- [chuckles]
No, it's fine. Shoot.
What? Hello?
Can you hear me?
Hey, Ros, are you enjoying
the sea air?
Can't talk. Book.
Well, it's nice to see you
running about a bit.
[Ros] Robbie!
Robbie, get down!
The wish ends at sunset!
More dangerous!
[birds squawking]
Robbie, hang on!

Grab the rope!

Oh, my Switch!
[videogame noises]
Come on, Maudie.
- [groans]
- Are you okay?
Yeah, my game's okay.
Oh, for goodness sake.
Get your head
out of that screen, Robbie.
A bit of exercise!
Come on.
[Robbie sighs]
You'd think
that he'd mention,
"Oh, and by the way,
the magic wears off
at sunset."
- There's dribble
on my fairy!
- Oh.
[bird squawking]

That was pretty
amazing today, right?
I mean, wishes.
Real wishes.
- Have you thought
about what you might--
- No.
Fine. You're not
the only one with a phone.
Oh, you call that
a phone?
My dad got mine.
It's the best.
Just like my life will be
when he takes me away
from all of this.
Yes! I got a bar!
[Ros on video]
Look, I can make
films with it.
Here you go.
Your favorite.
Let me get
you two together.
Do a kiss.
Let's see what else
that thing does,
shall we?
[Smash] Okay.
- [man on voicemail] Hi.
- Dad!
I'm sorry I can't take
your call right now.
Please leave your message
after the tone,
and I'll get back to you
as soon as I--
[Smash groans]
[seagulls cawing]

[chimes ringing]
[bird squawking]
Looking for someone?
Hey, don't pelt me
with sea barf.
- Sorry, it's a reflex.
- To what?
To foolish children
in search of ill-advised wishes.
Then I got great news
for you, Sammy.
Because this is the best wish
you've ever heard.
[phone ringing]
- Mum?
- [phone continues ringing]
Ros, I want you
to bring Maudie.
I don't want her
to miss this.
- Miss what?
- You'll find out.
I'm sending someone
to pick you up.
Where from?
Um, Smash said she's
gone out for a nature walk.
What did she really say?
Uh... that she hates
all of us
and we should just
butt out of her life.
That sounds
like my daughter.
[sighs] No whisk,
so, um... spoon?
Anyway, we were just wondering
if maybe we could join her?
That's a funny way
of butting out of her life.
Well, just trying
to make an effort.
Oh, good for you, Ros.
Making new friends,
that's nice.
[both yelling]
- [Alice] Oh, are you okay?!
- [David] Yes, yes, yes. No!
Okay, we gotta go.
[David groaning]
Has Smash run away again?
No, she just wants us
to take you to her.
- Am I running away too?
- No one's running away.
She's made a wish,
that's all.
She got up early
and made a wish,
without telling us.
- What wish?
- I don't know.
[Robbie] Maybe she wished
to be invisible.
would be cool.
[helicopter whirring]
Huh. Yeah, I don't think
she wished to be invisible.
Maudie! Robbie! Wait!
Wait! Come back!
Where are we going?
Put your seatbelt on!

[no audio] No.

The other one.
Coco's waiting inside.
Follow me.
[phone ringing]
Who's Coco?
That's Coco Rayne.
I want shorter there,
longer here.
A lot more feathers.
And you, add a cape.
Ah, you made it!
Not long to go now.
You must be so excited!
Confused, mostly.
Where's Smash?
Come with me,
I'll take you to her.
No, of course, none of this
is any surprise to me.
I knew she had it
the moment I first saw her.
[people chattering]
Hey, Maudie!
Big sis is a star!
What do you think?
[woman] Come on,
let's get you
into make-up, Maudie.
The new video has got
two billion views.
Smash, you are
the hottest act
on the planet.
What about us?
There's some super fans
who won a competition.
- Go stand by them.
- Hey, excuse me.
- Yeah?
- Girls, take a photo.
Take a photo.
- [camera clicking]
- Yeah.
- Nice. All right, let's go talk
to the media.
- Okay.
Okay, don't forget to talk
about your fragrance, okay?
This is forever, Smash.
You could have at least told us
before you just ran off--
Somebody throw
a sheet over that.
[David] Robbie!
- [Alice] Smash? Maudie?
- [David] Ros?
Yes, where is your
mysterious daughter?
What's she up to, eh?
Mr. Trent?
Oh... Hello!
Well, fancy seeing you here,
on this, uh,
craggy pathway.
What are you doing?
Oh, what, on the...
with the... and the...
I just, uh--
nature survey, actually.
Um, just studying the fauna
and flora of the area.
Oh, there's a bee.
You haven't seen
our children, have you?
They seem to have disappeared.
They haven't disappeared,
we just don't know where
they've gone.
[David] Which is pretty much
the same thing.
I knew we shouldn't
let them wander off.
David, they're children.
You gotta give 'em
some freedom.
Well, I do
give them freedom,
I just tend to be
with them at the time.
Do you know what?
They're gonna be fine.
I grew up here myself,
and I was forever darting off
into these moors,
in pursuit of some creature
or another.
Oh, to be young again,
and innocently pulling
the wings off
some natural creation.
Here's a thought.
Why don't you and your family
come over
to the mansion tomorrow?
We could all spend
some time together.
Have a little drinky.
Might be rather fun.
Oh, no, we wouldn't
wanna impose.
It's not an imposition!
I insist!
I'd love it. I was never
blessed with children myself,
and I think you can learn
so much from them, can't you?
Well, that's very...
very, very kind of you.
- Thank you.
- So, you'll come?
I'll put it in the pad.
[crowd chanting]
Smash! Smash! Smash! Smash!
[chanting continues]
[people chattering]
Um, hello, Smash,
maybe we can stop
to talk about how all you...
Let's go. Go, go, go!
- [chanting continues]
- [Ros] Smash!
[upbeat pop music]
[crowd cheering]
Who wants to party?!
I said who wants to party?!
This show's for my sister,
Let's Smash it, everyone!
I make a crash, flash,
I am Smash
Watch the way
that I dance fast for you
For you
I know
I'm destined for stardom
I'm Smash,
turn the lights on for you
For you
That's right
I gotta feeling,
gotta feeling, yeah, yeah
Feet off the floor, I'm
on the ceiling, yeah, yeah
Got my wish
and I believe it
It's gonna be good,
so good
Watch me dance,
I never lose my balance
Moonwalking into every...
[music stops]
What? What happened?
No, no, no,
but it hardly started.
No, I want them back!
[man] Oi! How did you
get in here?!
[Ros] Run!
This is trash!
I want it back!
I want it--
I want it all back!
You can't.
You have it for a while,
then it's gone.
That's the way it is.
We're gonna be
in so much trouble.
They are going to be
in so much trouble.
I thought we should
give them some freedom?
[woman on PA]
Passengers are reminded...
Come on, Maudie.
[groans] You're so slow!
Smash, have you got any idea
how we're going to get home?
- Hurry up!
- Wait!
[man on PA]
The train service
to Penzance
is now standing
at platform eight.
Calling at Reading,
Bristol Parkway...
[Smash] Hurry up.
- We don't have tickets!
- Just act natural!
[door hisses]
Just go on!
Shut the door.
We used to do this
all the time back home,
but the bathrooms
are much bigger there.
Americans have
bigger butts.
Two girls,
both 13 years old,
a boy, nine,
probably with his hood
and a five-year-old girl.
You sure they're not
on a nature ramble?
At night? No.
Well, there's a lot
to see at night.
Badgers, owls...
What? David, why is he
asking about owls?
They're not looking at owls.
Are you sure?
Fascinating creatures.
Right. Okay.
- [exhales]
- It's gonna be okay.
- Now, this is a tawny owl.
- I don't...
I don't want
to look at owls.
I want you to find
our children, please.
You tried ringing them?
But there's no signal.
There's one up that ladder.
I make a crash
in a flash, I'm...
Forgetting it.
It's my turn
on the seat, move.
You know, none of us
chose this, Smash.
We could at least
try to get along.
Not me. I'm gonna go live
with my dad in the Seychelles.
[scoffs] Yeah,
and what about your mum?
She won't even notice.
All she cares about
is her dumb job.
[phone ringing]
It's your mum!
- What are you
gonna tell her?
- That it's your fault.
Hi! Hi, Alice. It's Ros.
Ros, where are you?
Are Maudie and Smash with you?
Um, yes, um, Smash's hand
got stung by a bee,
and it swelled up
and we got taken
to a hospital.
What? Hospital?
How'd you get to the hospital?
What happened?
No, we're fine,
we're fine.
Um, they gave her
an injection
and we're just waiting
for the swelling to go down.
[knocking on door]
[Robbie makes farting sounds]
That was Smash, yeah.
Which hospital?
We'll come and get you.
Um, the... they're gonna
put us on the train.
You can pick us up
from the station.
A train? Hasn't this country
heard of an ambulance before?
- [grunting]
- Calm down,
calm down, calm...
[both yelling]
- [thud]
- [David grunts]
Where's your mom?
She's at university.
- Oh, your dad cheated on her?
- No, of course not.
She just wanted
to find herself.
Find herself
a long way from you.
Is that why your dad left you?
No. He just got
fed up with my mom,
just like everyone else does.
Daddy's gone to live
with a new lady.
She reeled him in
with her tight,
20-year-old tushy.
- [all laughing]
- [beeping]
[woman on PA]
We're now approaching
St. Austell.
I think this is our stop.
Tickets, now.

[sighs] Finally.
[sighs] Unbelievable.
Totally unbelievable.
I just can't
get my head around it.
I know.
Totally out of control.
I can't believe that Ros
and Robbie would ever do
anything like that.
It's just not like them.
Meaning what?
It's all Smash's fault?
Of course not. Although...
they've just never
broken the law before.
Well, you never let them
out of your house, David.
I mean, what are they gonna do,
embezzle your rhubarb?
- Let's not argue.
- No, let's argue.
Come on, you have a problem
with my parenting?
I wanna hear
what you have to say.
I... I don't have
a problem with your parenting.
Although, obviously...
Obviously, obviously what?
- Smash has her issues, but--
- Issues?
You said issues.
You told me
that she had issue--
Let's-- let's just--
let's just forget everything
and just... and move on.
No, no, no. Don't do that,
don't try to smooth
everything over.
- Tell me what you mean.
- I didn't mean anything.
I... [stammers]
I'm sorry I mentioned it.
I don't want apologies, David.
I wanna know what you feel.
What are you thinking?

[Smash] Do it again.
I want it again!
I don't do
the same wish twice.
- What are you doing?!
- It's my turn for a wish!
Oh, great, and what lame-o thing
are you gonna ask for?
World peace?
World peace? Finally.
[both] No!
Maybe you should wish
to be a famous writer.
Maybe you should wish
yourself up a brain.
Maybe you should wish
yourself up a boyfriend!
Maybe I should wish
for the sweet release
of oblivion.
What about two wishes
today, Sammy?
Two wishes a day
is extremely hazardous for me.
If you want two wishes a day,
I suggest you find one of
the two-wish-a-day-Psammeads.
Where are they?
Great, now you
scared him off!
- I scared him off?!
- Yeah, you scared him off!
- I did not scare him off!
- Hey! Stop it!
- I touched you!
- You pushed me!
Good morning.
Do you think
maybe we could not, um...
Can we put
last night behind us?
That's the problem,
isn't it?
Putting things behind us,
pretending everything's okay.
I don't know
if it's gonna work.
What, because I said...
It's not what you said,
it's what you don't say.
I never know
what you're feeling
because you're...
You're always
so damn reasonable.
You know, sometimes you just
gotta let it rip.
Do you think that might be
too many raisins?
Yeah, maybe.
Look, I promise
I will... I will try to be
a lot more unreasonable.
- Okay?
- Okay.
Let's give the kids
another chance today,
maybe they'll calm down a bit.
- Yeah.
- [Smash] You're pushing me.
[Ros] Ow, stop,
why are you kicking me?
[Smash] I'm just trying
to walk through the door.
[Ros] So am I!
- [both continue arguing]
- [sighs]
[Ros and Smash continue arguing]
This is it.
[both indistinct]
- I was walking!
- Dad, she hit me!
- Oh, sorry for walking.
- Smash, come on, please.
- There's a bruise.
- Oh, there's a bruise?
Yes, there's a bruise.
[continue indistinct]

Welcome to Trent Towers.
Come in, come in.
[door closes]
Well, this is charming.
Oh, uh... I wonder
if I might trouble you
to remove
your outdoor footwear.
- Of course.
- Okay, sweetie.
Would you mind? Awfully?
It's just that
it's a heritage site.
If you don't mind?
Daddy shot that hippo.
An incredible hump.
Put up a real struggle,
that beast.
Just pop those there.
So, what do you think?
It's charming, yes.
Really, really charming.
It's old
and kind of worn-looking.
[David] Ahem.
I guess that's
a British thing, right?
Well, it's not Disneyland
but we do our best.
There was a time
when the Trents
were kings of the world.
My ancestors
explored the globe,
bravely uncovering
lost civilizations and...
liberating their primitive
Great-grandpops, he made
his fortune in Africa, then...
blew it all on, well...
let's call it his final quest.
A quest, really?
For, um, what?
Ultimate power.
Riches beyond the dreams
of man. The usual.
It was an obsession
that finally destroyed him,
but which may yet
have a positive outcome.
Do you think I could
perhaps offer you a cocktail?
And give the children
a tour of the house?
Let's leave the adults
to their stuffy entertainment.
I've got some things
that I think you'll find
rather intriguing through here.
Come this way, young lady.
Through here.
Now, this is
an absolute gem,
and it's the only one like it
in the world, what's more.
Now, look at some
of these genuine marvels.
Don't mind the smell.
Wow. Look at all of this.
- What's this do?
- [powering up]
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no,
we don't touch that.
- That's not for children is it?
- Cool! Night vision goggles!
Yes, well, plainly
I'm a keen badger enthusiast.
And I like to keep a keen eye
on the goings on of the badger.
They're fascinating creatures,
the badgers.
Do you know
they eat their young?
If you're interested.
Ah, now, you'll like this.
This is the last living Dodo.
It looks kinda dead.
the last living Dodo.
Don't be pedantic,
it's not an appealing
quality in a child.
Uh, come through this way.
- What's this?
- That's from China.
Let go, please.
It's a Tyrannosaur's claw.
Did your family
shoot it, too?
No, but they, they did shoot
the peasant that found it.
Oh... Ah... Ta-ta-ta...
Please, don't touch that.
Come on.
Should be in a borstal.
Now, I've got
some real treats
for you in here.
A menagerie of wonderful
beasts and creatures
we've painstakingly preserved.
Natural treasures...
[continues indistinct]
Oh, there you are.
Oh... Where's the toilet?
The water closet is...
it's upstairs on the right.
Now, who would like to see
a stuffed elephant?
Formerly endangered,
they're now obviously extinct.
But there are some
real treasures
among other things.
Ooh... [chuckles]
Hello there.
Nothing of interest in there
for a young person.
Um, Ros, while I have you
for a moment,
could I just ask--
have you ever been here before?
Or had a relative from here?
A grandmother, perhaps?
- Um, no.
- Curious, um...
Since you've been here,
have you come across
anything unusual?
- Any oddities?
- Um, other than you,
you mean?
Well, listen,
if you should see anything
do let me know.
I'd make it
worth your while.
For example.
[soft roar]
Look at these!
- Hey, I want
to replace your mom.
- [chuckles]
That's pretty much
how she sees me.
No. No, it's not.
Maybe a little bit.
[chuckles] Here,
let me have a go.
[Darth Vader voice] Smash,
I am your stepfather.
- [breathes like Vader]
- [chuckles]
We're so revolting.
The Force
is strong with this one.
[both laughing]
[Mr. Trent]
Forgive me interrupting
your ethnically insensitive
but I think I'd rather like
to get on with my afternoon.
- Yes. Oh, sorry.
- Sorry about that.
- Where are the others?
- Oh, we said they could go.
Ros. Ros, we need
to talk to you, darling.
I'll take that,
thank you.

I know Smash
isn't always easy.
She has difficulty
making friends.
Well, with girls, anyways.
So she knows
how to talk to boys?
The wrong sort
of boys, yeah.
Look, Ros...
I just wanna say,
I really care
about your dad.
- So do I.
- I know you do, honey.
Your dad...
he's sweet.
Even when I first crashed
into him, he was just so...
Has he told you this?
How we met?
I crashed into him with my car.
He asked me for my number.
I was like, "Can you believe
this guy?
He's hitting on me
at a road traffic accident."
Turns out it was for insurance,
but I wasn't gonna
let him get away
without buying me coffee.
And he wasn't badly hurt,
although his bike was wrecked.
So, Ros...
I guess what I
wanna ask is...
- [phone ringing]
- Oh, wait, you have bars!
Do you actually have bars?
It's my mum! My mum! I...
I'll let you guys
be alone.
- Mum, is that you?
- [chattering]
-It's noisy.
- I'm at a party.
How are you doing out there
with your father?
You getting on
okay with Alice?
You... you know
about her?
Your dad's got
to move on,
Yeah, but, um, I was
actually wondering...
Do you think that maybe
when you've finished
with all the partying
and the studying and stuff,
you might-- you might
actually come home?
Ros, we've talked
about this.
- Your dad's a lovely man--
-Yes, he is!
He is a lovely man. I knew
you still liked him.

Ow, that is sharp!
What kind of maniac leaves
a Spinosaurus claw on a beach?
It's supposed to be
a Tyrannosaur.
Excuse me.
I think I know
a Spinosaurus claw
when it stabs me.
It's a very particular
kind of impalement.
- You've met dinosaurs?
- Of course I haven't
met dinosaurs!
I hid from dinosaurs
or I wouldn't have
survived long enough
to be pestered by you!
Now, the important thing
about dinosaurs is--
Can we have our wish now?
It's Maudie's turn.
Oh, yeah, never mind
about the incredible
prehistoric anecdotes.
"Give us our wish."
What is it this time?
I wish we could all...

[wind blowing]
You all right, darling?
Um, yeah, I'm just feeling
a bit...
Oh. You know...
Alice is
a really nice person.
I think, you know,
you'll grow to like her.
You just have to
give her a chance, babe.
- What are you doing?
- Hugging trees, you know...
I love the wildlife.
Well, why don't I...
give it a hug with you?
Oh, yeah, sure, just...
How am I doing?
All right?
Um, great. Yeah.
You know, Ros,
there's something
I want to ask you.
Oh, really?
How would you feel
if Alice... moved in?
With us?
All of us,
living together like,
well, like a new family.
I mean, I know
it'll be a difficult
transition in the beginning,
but what do you think?

[all grunting]
[gasps] Maudie!
Maudie wished we could fly!
How great is this?!
Dad wants us
to live with Alice.
- Thought so.
- That's all you can say?
It's not like we can do
anything to stop them.
[phone ringing]

- [Alice] That's
Smash's phone.
- What?
[both groan]
She got a text from her dad.
[groans] There's no room
for her at... at the moment.
Big surprise.
"But how about
I buy you some sneakers."
- Oh...
- Some sneakers?
I tried not to let her
get her hopes up.
- Hey.
- I really tried.
This way, she stays
with you, with us.
It's a good thing.
[chuckles] Yeah, she's
gonna be so excited.

Ros! There's something
wrong with Smash.
Come on.

[Ros] Smash, stop it!
[Robbie grunts]
- [thuds]
- I'm okay.
Why don't you just
leave me alone?
- You could
have killed yourself!
- So what?! Who cares?!
Even my dad
doesn't want me.
We want you.
Don't we, Robbie?
Yeah, you're
all right.


Ah, there you are.
Just in time.
Dinner's ready!
There you go.
Oh... you found it.
- We need to talk about that.
- I'll save you the trouble.
"That was so expensive.
You're so irresponsible.
What's wrong with you?
Why don't you
just disappear, huh?
Why don't you just become
someone else?"
- Smash, no.
- I'm gonna give this
the funeral it deserves.
[door opens, closes]
Uh... there's cakes.
I'll get the cakes. Okay?
I liked it
when we could fly.
Hey, you ran away
earlier, darling.
I think maybe
we should talk about--
I talked to mum.
She still likes you,
you know.
[door opens, closes]
- Fly! [screams]
- [gasps]
- [crying]
- Maudie?
[owl hooting]
[meat sizzles]
Imagine if none
of this happened.
Imagine if your mum
was with your dad...
they loved each other...
and they had
enough time for you.
That won't happen.
My mom and dad
can't even be
on the same continent.
What if they could?
We could wish it.
We could wish them together.
Only for a day.
What if there's a way
to make a wish last forever?
It's my turn tomorrow.
I've got an idea.

It's over.
[Ros and Smash] What?
The holiday.
We've been moving too fast,
asking you to adjust
too quickly.
It's not fair.
So, you can pack your bags
and then we'll go.
- But... but you can't.
- Pathetic.
- I thought you were committed.
- We are committed.
You're gonna let it slide
just 'cause your kids
act up a bit?
What did you think
we were gonna do?
Hold a jamboree?
We're supposed to hate you.
- Don't you know anything?
- Smash, it's not that--
I'm very disappointed
in your attitude.
Not you.
But you.
- I thought you had guts.
- I've got guts.
Yeah, that's right, Dad,
you tell her.
If you want something,
then you're gonna take it.
And if you wanna force your kids
on some awful holiday,
then you're damn well
going to.
We need to know
our boundaries.
[Smash] You need to find
a way through this,
because I tell you,
you let us win this one,
the next time you try
to put us together,
we're gonna be burning down
bus shelters!
You need to take a long,
hard look at yourselves.
[door closes]
[both laughing]
"Burning down
bus shelters"?
Okay, it was
your boundaries thing.
I was, like,
"Let's go total delinquent."
Um, your mum said
that you've had
a lot of boyfriends.
- Did she?
- I was just wondering
how that whole "getting them
to notice you" thing works.
Just run up
and hit them on the arm.
- Really?
- Yeah!
Boys are the simplest thing
in the world.
Just don't overthink it.
Oh, and, uh,
do something
about your hair.
And curly hair helps, too.
You new type of children
are just so demanding.
The last ones
were much more considerate.
Funny you should mention them.
That's who we want to meet.
We wish to go back in time
and meet the original children,
the ones from E. Nesbit's book
Five Children and It.
That's your wish?
I thought you were gonna--
I just wanna
ask them something.
Time travel wishes
are dangerous.
Timelines change,
people stop existing.
There's always consequences
with time travel. Always.
- I'm decided.
- Fine.
Who cares
about reality anyway?
Wait. What if we wanna
get back?
You see that shell?
Blow on that
if you get into bother.
Is it magic?
I don't know, one of them is.
Might be that one.

You're a rum-looking lot.
Said the dude
in fancy dress.
- I beg your pardon?
- Do you speak English?
She's American.
We're from the future.
The Psammead sent us
back here to meet you.
Golly, that's
a cracking wish.
Perhaps we should wish
to go to your time.
Not in that getup.
Says the girl
in the scarecrow costume.
I'm Cyril.
And this must be Robert,
Jane, Anthea and Elam.
Listen, there was something
we wanted to ask you.
Is there a way
to make a wish permanent?
There's something
I really want to ask for,
but it has to last forever,
not just a day.
- You mean
you don't know yet?
- Tell me.
That's simple. You just
wish for something else.
- Something that can--
- [yells] Bloody poachers!
- Scarper!
- Scrumpers! I knew it!
- Scarper!
- [Mr. Trent yelling indistinct]
Caught ya, boy.
- [muttering]
- I didn't steal anything!
Don't you dare,
don't you dare
move your earlobe.
Ow! Get off of me!
Stop it!
Ow, let go.
You're hurting me!
Empty your pockets.
Let's see your loot.
Let's see what you've
stolen from me,
what you have pilfered.
Come on,
what have you got in there?
Hop to it. Shell, yes.
That's no interest to me.
- Hey!
- What's this now?
- [videogame noises]
- [yelps]
What sorcery is this?!
What are these infernal beasts
trapped within here?
- See how enraged they are!
- They're angry birds?
I'm not surprised.
Trapped for all eternity
in a prison.
- [grunts]
- [phone clatters]
- Hey...
- What are ya?
A witch? A sorcerer?
A necromancer?
A leprechaun?
A Frenchman?
Whatever it is you are,
I'll wager
you're highly collectable.
- A real treasure.
- Please, I'm a girl.
The Psammead
brought us here.
Well, who's this Psammead?
I don't know, it's...
it's not a person.
It's just this thing
that gives us wishes.
And where might I find
this magical wish-granting
Tell me! Tell me!
I shan't be asking you again.
You got that right!

Ros! Come on!
Robbie! How did you...
Smash got Cyril to go back
and see the Psammead.
And I wished for us
to have superpowers!
I've got x-ray vision,
so I can see through walls.
That's how we found you.
Maudie's telekinetic,
and Smash has super strength.
And you've got...
Laser eyes.
This is a wheeze!
[all yelping]

We have to get out of here,
right now.
The Psammead's in danger.
Come on, this is fun.
You see that?
That's Tristan's
great-grandfather over there.
Once he's seen all this,
he's going to spend
the rest of his life
hunting down the Psammead.
That was his life's quest,
and I just handed it to him.
Our Tristan's
hunting him, too!
Then I guess we ought to do
something about that.
[horn sound]
Where's the Psammead?
- [grunts]
- There!
My offerings!
My offerings!
Oh, my gosh.
It's true.
The legend is true.
Leave this to me.
Smash power!
- [Ros] Smash!
- [grunts] Ow, ow.
That wish expired
about a hundred years ago.
- [grunting]
- Come on!
- Stop! Stop it!
- Stop!
Out of the way!
The creature's mine!
- Try and make us!
- Oh, okay then!
- [screams]
- [laughing]
[Smash] Come on!

Oh, run, Maudie, run!
[Mr. Trent grunts]
Oh, this is
really helping.
To the tunnel!
My beautiful offerings!
Take me back!
Didn't we just rescue you?
Oh, well, that--
that was rescuing, was it?
I'm sorry,
I thought you were
trying to kill me.
If you have a problem
with our rescuing,
then maybe you should have
magicked yourself out of it!
- I can't do magic on myself.
- Well, that sucks.
[Psammead groans]
Hey! You! I'm stuck!
We'll tell the coastguard
in a couple of days!
Maybe a week!
[both laughing]
I am really sorry
about your beach.
- It's not your fault.
- Well, actually...
you know that whole
going-back-in-time thing
may kind have been
what made the Trents obsessed
with hunting you down.
Oh. Oh, I see.
Gosh, you must feel
so awful about that.
Look, don't worry.
Seriously, I was thinking
of moving on anyway.
- Really?
- No, not really!
I've lived on that beach
for a hundred million years.
It's survived global floods,
two ice ages,
and a comet which wiped out
most of the life on earth.
But apparently,
it couldn't survive you!
I'll... I'll make it
up to you.
- That actually
looks edible.
- Hey!
Hitting is unacceptable.
I can be very, very,
- very unreasonable about it.
- [laughing]
Those kids never finished
telling you what you wanted.
How to make a wish last forever?
I worked that out.
The Psammead's wishes
always end at sunset.
But what if we wish
for something else?
What if we wish for something
that could make permanent magic?
Like another Psammead?
- No.
- [chuckles]
I'm more thinking an app
that makes people
fall in love forever.
Puts everything back
as it was.
So, the app
disappears at sunset,
but then both our parents
are still together!
Ros, you're awesome.
You're pretty okay, too.
How are we gonna
sneak him in?
[Alice moaning, giggling]
Wait, stop. I think
I heard something.
[all gasp]

Hmm. There's a startling
lack of, uh, sand.
[Robbie] Eh...
I'll get the buckets.
Dad says you spoke to Mum.
Yeah, she's doing
really well, you know.
I think this university stuff's
just a temporary thing.
- She still really likes--
- Stop. Just don't.
She's had to make a lot
of very difficult choices,
It's not like any
of this is straightforward.
- And then there's--
- That's dad talking.
She left us, Ros.
She left us.
- [indistinct chatter]
- [laughing]
Oh, okay, it's ice cream.
Say it in...
say it in a British...
- You go ice cream!
- [all exclaim]
What do you think?
Well, it's not on fire,
- so I guess it's good.
- [all chattering]
This has never happened
before, trust me.
- Now say water bottle.
- Water bottle.
- Water bottle.
- [clattering]
- What was that?
- Oh, just me.
[kicks table]
[David] It sounded
like it was upstairs.
Oh, actually,
you know what?
I am tired and would like
to go upstairs to do
some sleeping.
I'm also very tired too,
so, yeah, I should turn in.
Oh, me too.
I'm really tired.
Thank you.
What's going on?
There's a sand monster
in the bath.
It's mean, but we love it.
[Psammead grunting]
We seriously have to find it
a new place to live.
Do you think it's the tart?
[with the mouth full]
There's no way it's the tart.
- The tart's amazing.
- Yeah?!
- Yeah.
- [laughs]
Actually, do you think
I should check on them?
Oh, no.
They're up to stuff
they don't want us
to know about.
It's like we're
a real family already.
Mmm... Mm...
[gags, spits]
It has to be
one sentence.
It is, these are
Wow, a use for punctuation.
Who knew?
You know, if it's too vague
or if there's holes
in it, then...
It's not.
It's watertight.
Tomorrow everything
will go back
to how it should be.
Our real parents
back together.
Not just together.
In love, forever.
Will be like
we never even met.
[footsteps approaching]
It was my favorite
when I was her age.
Tell her you got it, though.
I don't want her to think
I'm trying to buy her.
Four children.
Double trouble.
Do you think we can handle it?
[Alice] What's life
without a challenge?
[David] Really peaceful.
Oh... I can't wait to see
them grow and blossom.
Yeah, maybe.
I wish that they'd
never grow--
[both] Do not complete
that sentence!
[Alice] Hey, you're
supposed to be asleep!
Oh, Smash, I, uh...
fixed your phone.
Uh, thanks.
It's not as flashy
as it was before but...
But it works.
That's what counts, right?
All right.
Okay, girls,
go back to sleep now.
[bird squawking]

[phone ringing]
Smash, wake up.
The wish.
Stop! No!
[David] Girls? Girls,
what's going on in there?
- Why are you wet?
- Um, I...
[groans] Sorry, did we
wake you getting showered?
This holiday
is just so great.
- Why sleep
through it, right?
- Yeah, yeah.
We just thought we should
make an early start
and see the sun come up.
Do you know what?
That is a brilliant idea.
Let's do it.
Let's start the day.
Let's have breakfast
on the beach!
let's have a bit
of human interaction today.
Leave the books
behind, all right?
[Smash] Them.
- No!
- Come on,
if you can rescue a Psammead,
you can do this.

[breathing hard]
You got this.
You'll be so cool.
Just do it.
What are you doing, psycho?
- I'm sorry, I--
- No.
You've got issues.
I... I don't know
what came over me.
So, do you want
to get an ice cream?

[indistinct chatter]
Okay, girls. Time to go.
- [door opens, closes]
- Huh?
- [giggling]
- Hey!
I wanna...
I wanna see more photos.
- [girls giggling]
- [Robbie] What's so funny?
Door's open.
- We've been robbed!
- What the...?
[Alice gasps]
- Ros!
- Tell my dad
I've gone for a walk.
No, I'm coming, too.
No, just, go away, okay?
This is my mess.
If I hadn't made that stupid
time-travel wish,
none of this
would have happened.
I have to sort it out.
No, you don't.
We do.
This is our mess, too.
Fine, just, come on then.
It'll be pretty easy
to get in.
We can force
a window or something.
I mean, the place
is pretty run down.

Get off!
Get off of me!
I knew you wouldn't
be able to resist!
Well... what do you think?
Dazzling, isn't it?
When do the fashion police
get here?
You might still
have time to run.
Bring them to me.
But I suppose I do owe you
a debt of gratitude.
UneFrench Fancy?
The only thing we want
is the Psammead.
- Where is he?
- Psammead?
Psammead, Psammead,
Psammead, Psammead.
[piano keys playing]
You mean
my latest acquisition!
- What have you done to him?
- Nothing!
Couple of mild
electric shocks.
Nothing that would trouble
the Geneva Convention.
It's a bit of a wuss,
to be honest with you.
Let him go.
- He's given you
everything that you want.
- This?
This isjust the beginning.
First thing I thought of.
Plush pad,
purple lady army, velvet.
And it's refusing
to give me any more. Hmm?
[electricity buzzing]
- I can't.
- Do you see?
I need you kids
to help me change its mind.
It won't listen to us.
It can only do one wish a day.
Any more is dangerous for him.
He could hurt himself.
Oh, Ros, my dear child.
I don't need you
to talk to it.
I need you here
so that I can change its mind.
Get off my sister!
Please don't hurt them.
Well, that's rather
up to you, isn't it?
More wishes, please.
Very well.
If you must.
Make a wish.
I wish that...
Ah! Very good, very good!
Nearly got me there.
Shoot that one first.
[muffled scream]
Take your wish, Tristan Trent.
It will be your last.
Yes, yes.
Spare me the platitudes.
[clears throat]
I wish for gold, creature.
Beyond the dreams of man.
[groaning, farting]
Where's my gold?
you have to...
you-you-you have to...

It's okay, Psammead.
We'll take care of you.
No. You have to leave.
Ooh, yeah.

[Maudie] Poor sand monster.
Sammy? Sammy!
No. No. No...
Robbie, Robbie, stop.
No. No...
I... I can't.
I can't.

Shoe sand, yum, yum.
Sand monster's hungry.
Do you mind?

[Psammead] Careful.
You're gonna love
this new beach.
- What's the sand like?
- Be quiet.
- [Psammead muffled]
- Shh.
Oh... [chuckles]
I'll take that.
[Psammead mumbling]
Okay, let's go.
Last day, let's make
the most of it.
I can take your bag
for you. Yeah.
Thank you!
[Psammead] I think
I'm sitting on a snorkel.
- Oh!
- Sorry!
[birds squawking]
- [girls chattering]
- Mind your head.
All right.
Girls! What's that?
Where are you going?
What's that?!
It's just a shell, baby.
Okay, I'm over it now.

Good grain.
That's quality.
So, this will do?
Oh, yes.
I'm digging deep.
No one's finding me
for another hundred years,
if I have any luck.
Now, if you'll excuse me.
- Wait!
- Our final wish.
Okay, for the last time.
Wish me.
So... you're really
gonna do it then?
Yeah, our mum and dad
back together.
Robbie, don't you want
to be happy?
"We wish to create a mobile
phone application..."
"...hereafter referred to
as an app..."
- Ros...
- What?
Why is your shoe flashing?
I don't know, but...
- Where is it? Eh?
- [yelps]
- Where is it?
- I don't...
[birds squawking]
[phone chimes]
I have a signal!
Yay, we have a signal.
- [sighs]
- [exhales] Okay...
and eighty-seven emails.
Nineteen voicemails.
I'm on vacation.
[both chuckle]
[Ros yelps]
Is that...?
Hang on.
[indistinct chatter]
- [Mr. Trent]
Show me to its nest.
- [Ros] Ow!
- [all yelling]
- Where it does
its business!
Take me to its lair!
Its dwelling place!
- [all yelling]
- What are you doing?!
- What's going on?
- Stinking...
- What's going on?!
- Stay out of this,
this doesn't concern you.
It's between me
and these children.
Hang on a minute.
Just calm down.
I'm sure we can all--
Yeah, I think
you should calm down.
Let me carry out
my investigation.
Mr. Trent, be reasonable.
I'm being reasonable!
I've not shot them
or flogged them, have I?
Now why don't you
toddle off into the dunes
with your American tart,
and let me take care
of business?
You keep your hands
off my family!
Alice, phone the police.
Oh, yes. Um, well,
I have a phone, too.
Four bars.
[Smash] Ros, stop.
No, Ros, no.
But the wish, I...
I never made the wish!
It was just here.
It can't have gone far.
Why aren't you helping me?!
It... it's gone, Ros.
[crying] No. I want it back.
I want it back!
[Smash] Let it go.
Well, I-- I don't know
about anyone else,
but I'm still looking forward
to hearing this ludicrous wish.
We wish...
Can they say
goodbye first?
We had a good time,
didn't we?
We had the best.
But I don't
wanna say goodbye.
But we have to, Maudie.
We have to.
I wish...
I wish...
I wish...
I wish that you have a long,
peaceful sleep in the sand,
and no one disturbs you
for at least
another hundred years.
Maybe there's hope for you yet.
- Goodbye, Psammead.
- Bye, Psammead.
Thanks for the horrible wishes.
Well, goodbye, children.
It's been awful knowing you.
Bye-bye, sand monster.
See you never.
That I can promise.

And just the way
he was behaving.
Don't-- don't-- now,
don't arrest me.
There's been a misunderstanding.
Un-arrest me.
Arrest them!
If you're gonna arrest anybody.
He struck me, she's American,
they destroyed my house
with a magical sand thing!
It decimated my mansion!
It's in ruins!
[David] Kids?
Are you all right?
We're fine.
We're all completely fine.


- There you go.
- Thank you.
I wish I could be
a writer one day.
Well, you're never too old
for wishes, huh?
Have a nice day.
Could you sign it
for Jacqueline, please?
Of course!
Thank you.
["Forever a Star"
by Laura White playing]