Frances Ha (2012) Movie Script
- [Both Laughing]
- No feet!
No! No!
- No! Not the hair!
- Yes.
- Not the - Frances!
- Ow!
[Chattering, indistinct]
I tried to make a frittata,
but it's really more of a scramble.
This is interesting.
"To praise a work of literature
by calling it sincere...
is now at best a way of saying that,
although it may be given...
no aesthetic or intellectual
admiration -"
[Woman Speaking On Computer,
indistinct]
I wouldn't eat
a domesticated dog.
You say that
just because they're cute.
[Indistinct]
[Movie Playing On Computer,
Indistinct]
[Movie Stops]
Don't be stupid.
I should sleep in my own bed.
Why?
Because I bought it.
Stay.
But take off your socks.
- [Frances] it's hairless?
- No, it has fine, curly hair.
There's this house
in Westchester -
the basement
is all Cornish Rexes.
It smells awful.
The top floor is Siamese cats.
- I'm allergic to cats.
- They're hypoallergenic.
- This is a special Frances kitty.
- Oh. Who knew?
This one's the runt, which is cheaper,
but I think it's the best one anyway.
I figure one runt
and one regular.
I put a hundred-dollar
down payment on each cat.
Well, 80 for the runt
and a hundred for the other one.
- Why not just get one cat? - A cat needs
a buddy. If you get one, you need two.
I'll give you $200
to get no cats.
So who will take care of them
if you go away?
I thought we could
get 'em together.
And move them back and forth
between our apartments?
No. I thought maybe...
you could move in with me.
Oh. Wow.
- Do you want to move in with me?
- Yeah.
Yes. I mean,
I do have this other thing.
- What other thing?
- Well, I don't know.
I promised Sophie
I'd stay through the lease...
and she'll probably
want to renew it.
Is that bad?
I'm sorry. I feel bad.
- Can't she find someone else?
- Yeah, but it's my friend.
- Uh-huh.
- I want to move in with you. - Okay.
- I feel bad.
- Don't feel bad. Forget it.
- No. What?
- Nothing.
- You're mad.
- I'm not mad. I'm disappointed.
- I feel bad.
- Stop feeling bad.
Frances, I asked you
to move in. You said no.
- But I can't.
- You can. You don't want to.
[Cell Phone Ringing]
- Who is it?
- I don't have to get it.
- Who is it? - Sophie. I'll call her later.
- Just pick up the phone.
- Are you sure?
- Answer it.
Yo, girl! What's up?
Hey, where are you?
I can't come.
Are you drunk?
I love you!
Ahh! Dumpling House!
I can't really talk right now.
Okay. I love you.
Okay.
I love you.
[Chuckling]
She's with these guys...
Benji and Lev,
at a party in Chinatown.
They're drunk.
I don't know.
Maybe this isn't working.
- I'm sorry.
- Me too..
Maybe -
No, never mind.
- What?
- I want to pay you for the cats.
I'm not gonna take
money from you...
but I am going
to get the cats anyway.
But then you're gonna be
a single guy with two cats.
Why would I be single?
- With two cats.
- No, I know.
I mean,
why would I be single?
I don't know.
I thought you said that
this isn't working.
I mean, if we don't move in together.
If we can't move in together.
We can move in together.
I don't know that I believe
anything I'm saying.
Uh-huh.
This hasn't been great
for a while.
"This hasn't been great
for a while. "
This has not been -
[Exhales]
- Where are you going?
- Home, I guess.
I'm really... tired.
I'm always so tired.
Let's move in together.
[Rock]
Hi!
You're crazy.
You know Lev?
Yes.
- And Benji?
- Hi.
I can't get interested
in art or books...
or movies about animals.
The animals have to talk
or be at war for me to be interested.
Don't hit the third rail.
Shit!
The F's not running.
- [Sophie] I want a sip.
- Do you want your own?
I want a sip.
The coffee people are right.
We are like a lesbian couple
that doesn't have sex anymore.
- Wait. Come back.
- Don't pick at your face.
I don't like smoking alone.
Me and Dan
don't have sex anymore.
Didn't have sex anymore.
Yeah, that's why you broke up.
And if it happened,
he would just -
He only had one way
he could finish.
Oh, I hate that.
It was always with me facing flat
on the bed from behind...
which just -
everything that matters
is covered up.
- It's like with me and Patch.
- Yo, Patchy!
'Sup, brah?
[Chuckles]
The way he always likes
to come in my face.
Yeah. Classy.
He's the kind of guy who says,
"I've gotta take a leak. "
And wears predistressed
baseball hats.
He's a nice guy -
you know, for today.
I should feel bad
I went to that party.
You deserved it.
You just got out of relationship jail.
- I think Dan was an alcoholic.
- He was.
He wasn't a real alcoholic...
but sometimes he would have,
like, 12 beers.
- Hey.
- What?
Lev is asking
for your number.
Give it to him.
You did just break up
with Dan. Today.
Just do it.
I love you, Sophie,
even if you love...
your phone that has e-mail
more than you love me.
My phone that has e-mail
doesn't leave a casserole dish...
in the sink for three days.
What about that time
you made a cake?
I love you too.
[Tone Sounds On Phone]
"Ahoy, sexy.
Are you around this week?"
"Ahoy, sexy"?
That is actually very gay.
Am I nautically sensual?
You're funny.
Lev didn't laugh
at any of my jokes.
You are so funny.
Should I text him back...
"Starboard anal sex"?
No.
Tell me the story of us.
Again?
All right, Frances.
We are gonna
take over the world.
You'll be this awesomely
bitchy publishing mogul.
And you'll be this famous
modern dancer...
and I'll publish
a really expensive book about you.
That d-bags we make fun of
will put on their coffee tables.
- And we'll co-own a vacation apartment
in Paris. - And we'll have lovers.
- [Sophie] And no children.
- And we'll speak at college graduations.
- And honorary degrees.
- So many honorary degrees.
- [Woman] Colleen?
- Yeah.
What time's rehearsal?
It's 4:00. Don't forget
to bring your shoes.
- Hey.
- Jesus!
Sorry. I'm here.
I don't have time to talk.
I'm doing the job of three people.
But I can see you
after rehearsal.
I read that article in the Times.
You must be so happy.
Yeah, thanks. I forget
I make my own work sometimes.
Bu! thanks.
- I usually hate that woman's writing.
- Right. Thank you, Frances.
Actually, I had a couple of questions.
I'm trying to be proactive about my life.
Ah. Well, I might have some
studio space available...
if you want to play
with some choreography.
Uh, no, I was wondering
if there were...
any more classes
at the school I could teach.
I'm a little -
I'm kind of broke.
I'll check,
but I'm all full up, I think.
I thought so. I'm just proud
of myself for asking.
I'll probably be able
to use you and some of...
...the other apprentices
for the Christmas show.
- I mean, that's something.
- That's great.
I just wanted to say
I really look up to you...
and I just -
I think you're great.
[Chuckles]
A beat-up old dancer doing paperwork?
[Exhales]
I really need to do
all this paperwork now.
I'm running rehearsal today,
so I'll see you there.
- Bye.
- Bye.
And then he was like,
"Rachel, you are cold and mean. "
And I was like, "Fuck...
that really hurt my feelings. "
[Chattering, indistinct]
[Colleen]
And up over the head.
Boom. Perfect.
Over and... shoulder:
[Man Snapping Fingers In Time]
Boom, boom, boom. That was great.
[Colleen] Face each other.
Look at each other.
Wrap the head around.
That's nice. That's nice.
Move it around.
That's good, Rachel.
That's night.
- All night. Understudies, out.
- [Clapping Hands]
Understudies, out. Out.
All right. Good.
Take it from the beginning.
- [Frances] Relev and down.
- [Classical]
Pli and straighten...
and pli and straighten...
and relev and down.
And relev all the way up
and turn...
to the other side...
and all the way down.
And now we have
the other foot in front.
And pli and straighten
and pli -
- Ahoy, sew!
- Ahoy, sexy!
[No Audible Dialogue]
[Brakes Screeching]
- There's no service.
- Sometimes there is for a second.
What is going on
with that phone, lady?
I didn't want to do it without knowing
it was okay with you first.
- Do what? - I want to move into
this apartment with Lisa.
It's this great apartment in Tribeca,
which is what I've always wanted...
but I don't want to do it
if it's not okay with you.
- Oh.
- They need to know by tomorrow...
so I kind of need to say
something today.
Who have you been e-mailing?
My parents, for help
with the broker's fee.
- You have to pay our rent.
- I know.
I'll pay till the end of the lease.
You know, there's only
another two months anyway.
Are you okay with it?
I really don't want to do it if you're not.
- I thought we were gonna renew our lease.
- Yeah, but we never talked about it.
- I could've moved in with Dan.
- Not if you broke up.
- That's why we broke up.
- Really?
No.
It's literally on my favorite street.
Lisa said it was too good to pass up.
- You hate Lisa.
- She's okay.
- We make fun of her.
- We're both really clean.
I'm busy.
- I wish it was gonna be with you.
- Yeah.
- But Lisa found the place.
- Right.
Does this train go to DeKalb?
We could always look for a place
together, if you want.
But it's really hard
to find stuff in Tribeca.
I can't afford Tribeca.
I'm not leaving you.
I'm just moving neighborhoods.
What are you doing?
I put my ring on my thumb,
and I'm having trouble getting it off.
Hold your hand above your head.
It'll drain the blood out.
[Brakes Screeching]
I look like
I'm asking a question.
Ow! Fuck! Fuck!
[Shouting] We bought the kettle
together, remember?
At the Mexican superstore?
Jesus!
Bring it back!
Or buy me another kettle!
[Exclaims]
Hi. I just - I just got a tax rebate.
Do you want to go to dinner?
This is me in the locker room
with the Knicks.
- Wow.
- Sophie said you liked basketball.
That was just one time.
Oh, crazy.
Oh, yeah. I was goofing around with
this vintage Triumph I think I'm gonna buy.
- Motorcycles are so loud.
- What?
You can't listen to music
when you're on a motorcycle.
But you're on a motorcycle.
- This is me with Jay Leno.
- He's such a dick.
I know,
but don't you just love him?
- Oh!
- No.
- Yes.
- No.
Ye- No. Yes.
I'm the one with the tax rebate.
- Can I take it?
- Uh - Uh - Uh-
Fine.
Just because you bought dinner
doesn't mean I'm gonna sleep with you.
I'm not trying to sleep with you.
- No, I was pretending to be a
liberated woman. - Oh. I got it.
Thanks for paying.
That was very sweet. You're a lady.
[Waitress]
Sorry, but the card didn't go through.
- Do you have another card you want to try?
- Oh, shit. Sorry.
- This is a debit card.
- Only credit cards or cash.
Okay-
I'm so embarrassed.
I'm not a real person yet.
- I got it.
- No, no. No.
I'm just gonna go run
and get some cash.
- Where's your ATM?
- [Man] No ATM. Not working.
Is there an ATM that way?
That way? Okay.
[Machine Whirring]
[Chattering, indistinct]
All right. I'll ask her.
I'll let you know.
Okay, man. See you.
Sorry, that was Benji.
My Sophie.
You go to Switzerland?
Have I been to Switzerland?
No.
No. I mean, did you go to -
Where were you?
Oh, I - It took me
so long to find the -
What the fuck'?
You're bleeding.
What? Oh!
- I c- I can't find it.
- It's somewhere on your arm.
I - Oh, shit! Sorry.
Don't apologize to me.
Oh, damn it. Let me -
No, no. One second.
I'm gonna go...
use the bathroom.
- [Frances] This place is pretty awesome.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- I'm a first responder.
- Ah. You didn't have to do that.
- You're injured.
I know, but I'm fine.
- There.
- Like a Boy Scout.
Sophie makes fun of me because
I can't account for my bruises.
- We're not living together anymore.
- Really?
Yeah. I'm gonna have
to find a new place.
I can't afford to stay there alone.
I was thinking Washington Heights.
The chick in the little room
might be moving to Portland next month.
Oh. That's good to know.
You smoke inside?
- Yeah. Don't you?
- No.
- Want to?
- Yeah.
This makes me feel like
a bad mother in 1987.
You want to see my room?
Oh!
- Is this your family?
- Nope.
Yo, check it.
Vintage lenser.
Eh!
- [Door Opens]
- [Man] Here we are.
[Woman]
Oh, my God. This is amazing.
- [Man] Lev? Honey, you home?
- Oh, Benji's home.
[Benji]
So do you do it professionally?
[Frances] Yes.
Well I mean, I'm an apprentice...
but it is a professional
dance company.
Oh. I love dance.
I dated a dancer in high school...
and her teacher said
I could've really had a future in it.
You liar. He's a liar.
No, I'm not.
Ask anyone from school.
No, I really love to dance.
It's pretty great.
I mean, it's a hard world, but -
- Do us a dance.
- I'd feel weird.
Come on.
Just one move.
Uh...
[Benji] Woman Laughing]
That was great.
You should be in this music video
a friend is working on.
- I'll hook you guys up.
- You guys are like magic.
[Benji]Is Noodle Champion
still open? I'm starving.
- I don't think so.
- All we have is - We have eggs.
I want something prepared...
and brought to me.
Wait.
- Bye. It was really good. - [Lev] I'll
call ya. We'll shoot some pigeons.
- I'll let you know about my show.
- Yes, please.
- I love your hair.
- Thank you.
- Thanks for stopping by.
- Bye.
This is the best night I've had
since Sophie dumped me.
I should probably go.
Make a left out of the building,
take the first right.
- The F is on the other side of the bridge, on
East Broadway. - You'll see a 99-cent store.
Okay. Yeah.
I should go.
Is that chick really
moving to Portland?
- Yeah.
- Before you go, do us another dance.
Okay-
[Laughing]
["Modern Love "]
I know when to go out...
or when to stay in.
Get things done.
[Shouts, Laughs]
I catch the paperboy
But things don't really change
I'm standing in the wind
But I never wave bye-bye
But I try
I try
- Never gonna fall for
- Modern love
[Shouting]
- What time you get in last night?
- Late. Like 1:00.
Why didn't you come in
and say hi?
I'm sorry.
I thought you were asleep.
I wasn't asleep.
I heard you come in.
Then you knew
what time I got in?
I'm working on some sample skits
for Saturday Night Live.
A producer said I could probably
get a job writing for them.
- Cool.
- Such a lie.
- Guys, this is Nessa.
- [Benji] Hey.
Hello. I'm Frances.
Lev and I were gonna make
bacon-egg bagels. You want some?
Oh, no. Thanks, though.
I wanted to go to the Met...
and I have to deposit this check
and drop off my laundry.
A whole Sunday planned.
- [Lev] Ever ridden on a motorcycle?
- [Nessa] Once.
[Lev]
It's an '85 Honda Shadow VT700.
- Are you impressed?
- Very. Mm-hmm.
So why do you want
to live together?
Well, I met Benji
through my friend Sophie.
- Where is Sophie these days?
- Busy with work.
- Which Sophie?
- Sophie Levy.
Get out!
I fucked her little brother.
Oh, you fucked Thomas.
- Yeah.
- You fucked who?
- How do you know her? - We went to college
together, and we're the same person.
- You're that Frances!
- But we have different hair.
That's what we say.
Yeah, I'm that Frances.
- She speaks so highly of you.
- Well, we're best friends.
She's been to my house
for Christmas three times.
- Why doesn't she go to her own house?
- She's Jewish.
- She was saying last week she loved you.
- You saw her last week?
- When did you fuck her brother? - Where
were you guys? - I met you last night.
- We were at that restaurant, Po.
- Who were you fucking last week, Lev?
Is that a good restaurant?
Was she with -
Who was she with?
Me and Thomas and that guy
she dates, Patch.
- Double-date.
- And some girl. Lena?
- Lisa. Cunt.
- Who were you fucking last week, Frances?
- I make love.
- Frances: undateable.
- Aren't you a lot older than Sophie?
- No. We went to college together.
- Hmm. You seem older.
- I'm a couple months older.
Like, a lot older...
but less, like, grown up.
It's weird.
You have an older face.
But, like, you don't have
your shit together.
Nessa can't come from sex.
Only 69.
That's a crazy helmet.
Got to. Motorcycle law.
Can you leave that rent check?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I'll just put it on your desk.
- 950, right?
- Nope, 1,200.
[Frances]
I don't, um -
When I moved in,
we said 950.
Nope. The whole space is 4,000,
but the little room's only 1,200.
No, she's right. We said we could pay
that much until she got more cash.
Remember? Because when I do
the Christmas show...
- I'll make more because I'll be doing
ten shows a week. - Oh, right.
So we're good with 950'?
That's okay? I'm really sorry.
No prob.
Catch you on the flip side.
[Sighs]
He leaves so easily.
Well, transportation's his thing.
Bike, skateboard.
He has a car too.
I can't even get
out of the house on my feet.
You know what Virginia Woolf book
this reminds me of?
Frances: undateable.
Want to watch a mo vie?
- Now?
- Yeah. Let's do a movie afternoon.
I already wasted the whole day.
I already feel bad.
I think it's a great day.
I ate an egg bagel
that Lev's slut made me.
I Internet-acquired three pairs
of very rare Ray-Bans.
I'm doing awesome.
I thought we were both broke.
I caved and finally took
a loan from my stepdad.
Bastard.
I need a fucking job, though.
- What about SNL?
- Yeah, maybe.
It's gone so downhill.
Till then, it's after 3:00.
I can drink.
Let's do something fun.
- We could go to a movie.
- Movies are so expensive now.
Yeah, but you're at the movies.
I should be saving
so I can pay full rent.
Well, I'm not gonna force you.
I have to work out, at least.
I cannot get fat.
Do I look old to you?
No. Yes.
- How old?
- Older than I am?
- Older than 27?
- No.
Twenty-seven is old, though.
[Mo vie Playing On TV]
[Frances]
Isn't this place amazing?
- Is that an Eames chair?
- Yeah.
- Isn't this great?
- Total rich-kid apartment.
The boys just have good eyes.
They find stuff all the time.
Do you know who
Lev Shapiro's dad is?
He doesn't get along with his dad.
Lev and Benji are artists.
Exactly. The only people who can afford
to be artists in New York are rich.
I'm an artist.
I'm not rich.
You are rare.
We need whiskeys.
It's just, this apartment
is very... aware of itself.
Everyone who comes here loves it.
I love it.
The three of us
are hilarious together.
We're like a sitcom:
My Two Husbands.
Oh, that's great.
I'm really happy for you, Frances.
Thank you, Sophie.
Ladies.
Lev Shapiro, you know Sophie?
Of course.
Still beautiful.
- How is the publishing business?
- You know, not good.
How's sculpture?
Amazing-ng-ng.
Oh. My boyfriend likes
that artist you work for.
- Tell your boyfriend he can talk to me
if he wants to buy something. - I will.
Are we buying art now?
Is that the point we're at?
- I need to get clean. Ladies.
- [Sophie] Bye.
- Lev would totally date you.
- I have a boyfriend.
But isn't he charming
and so handsome?
You could be over here all the time.
it would be great.
Then you wouldn't have to spend
all that time with Lisa.
- Right. I could fuck him just to
not hang outwith Lisa. - [Door Opens]
Don't mind me.
I'm just trying to get your attention.
How could you not want to date him?
He's kind of magic.
Because I'm with Patch.
Patch is the kind of guy...
who buys
a black leather couch...
and is like, "I love it. "
- What are we doing with our day?
- I got to get going around 5:00.
- I thought we were hanging out.
- We are.
- All day. - I have plans with
Patch tonight. I told you.
- No, you didn't.
- Yes, I did. I texted that to you.
- No, you didn't.
- Yes, I did.
- Here.
- We're not doing that.
That's shitty.
It's not court.
- I did text you, though.
- I believe you.
- You don't have to believe me.
I did text you. - Want to see my room?
I kind of have a crush on this boy,
but his name is Georgie...
so I don't really know
how far it's gonna go.
- Can't fuck a Georgie.
- "I want you inside me, Georgie. "
- Have you been dating anyone?
- Nope.
- Oh, Frances.
- It's fine.
- What about Benji?
- Benji thinks I'm undateable.
It's really funny when he does it.
You and I are both undateable.
Guys can't handle us.
We're gonna end up spinsters.
You better break that to Patch.
Boys are easier.
Girls are passive-aggressive.
Boys are just like,
"Clean up your shit. "
You're still messy.
I've been busy.
No, it wasn't a criticism.
I meant it as a nice thing.
You will always be messy,
and you will always...
...look at yourself
too much in the mirror.
- When did I look at myself in the mirror?
- Always. You just were doing it.
There are so many mirrors
in this apartment.
I don't want you to change.
I like your clothes everywhere
and your mirror thing. It's sweet.
- You have stuff too.
- What?
You judge people who aren't
as moderate as you are.
- I do not.
- You do, and you don't read.
- Hey, bitches!
- Benji! You're crazy!
- [French Film On TV]
- [Door Shuts]
- [Lev] Want to see my room?
- [Woman] Sure.
- Hey, guys, this is Lindsay.
- Hi.
I wish we had cookies.
I wish we had Chessmen.
[Dramatic:]
- Good show tonight.
- You too.
- You were beautiful tonight.
- Thank you.
- Hey.
- Hi. Sorry.
I'm so slow.
I have trouble leaving places.
You were great tonight.
Thanks.
Frances,
I wanted to tell you...
so you would have
some days to process it:
We won't be able to use you
in the Christmas show.
I'm really sorry.
What?
- I'm really sorry. You know what
bad shape the company's in. - I know.
We can talk about next steps
when we're back in February.
- Am I fired?
- No.
I just- I like you...
and I want to talk about the future
and make sure it's what you want.
- I want to be in the company.
- I know.
Take your time.
I will.
I can't help it.
Oh, my love!
I'm so glad you're here!
You were great.
Really great.
- Could you see me? - We were in the risers,
so we could see to the back.
- Who?
- Sorry. Had to take a leak.
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
Shall we all go out
for a quick drink?
"A quick drink"?
- Yeah, we have to get up early tomorrow.
- Tomorrow's Saturday.
We have to catch a flight. We're
meeting my parents in the Galapagos.
I haven't packed yet.
You know me.
- Last-minute Mabel.
- Ronald Rule-follower.
[Imitating Choking]
[Electronica]
I want us to be family,
you know?
I can be part of your family,
don't you think?
Patch, I love you -
I want to love you -
but I need you to get drunk.
- [Woman] How are we doing?
- Really good.
We'll get a bottle of your most
expensive vodka for the table...
and then all of the stuff
that comes with it.
Very good.
- Sophie.
- Yes?
- Come with me.
- Where? - Bathroom.
Really?
We're still doing this?
Patch, you got this,
money-wise?
Yep.
I was lying.
I don't love Patch.
- I do love him.
- Since when? When did this happen?
- It's been happening.
- That's fucking bullshit. Come on!
No, you're bullshit. And you're
making me feel really bad right now.
- I want to love him if you love
him, but you don't love him. - I do.
Sophie, I fucking held your head
while you cried.
I bought special milk for you.
I know where you hide your pills.
Don't treat me like
a three-hour-brunch friend!
I'm not talking to you
while you're like this.
- We have to go.
- [Frances] I'm going.
- We can stay if you want.
- Come on, get your stuff.
I'm going.
You fucking sit down!
Enjoy the Galapagos.
I'm also going on vacation.
A long one.
I'll set up my e-mail
so it sends out a vacation e-mail.
My voice mail will also say
I'm on vacation...
so if you get that, don't worry -
I'm on vacation.
I'll try to give you a call
when I get back. Thanks, guys.
This was great.
- You're cleaning?
- I'm not messy. I'm busy.
I don't make the bed.
Sophie always made the bed.
I'm so happy you're home.
I had such a shitty night.
Tsk. Oh, sorry, kid.
I had a great night. I cracked the
second act of my script. I'm on page 68.
Oh, that's exciting.
Is it for SNL?
No, this is a sample script
I'm writing for the third Gremlins.
- Boy trouble tonight?
- Sophie trouble.
- Undateable.
- And I kind of-
I - I-I got temporarily fired.
I've been fired a million times.
Makes you cool.
Yeah, but if I don't have
the Christmas show...
I can't... pay rent.
Do you have any tunes?
Wait right there.
It's a jammer.
- It's great.
- I know.
- I love it. Put it on my mix.
- Aren't these headphones tits?
I just got 'em. They're super-duper
noise-canceling...
so I don't have
to hear Lev fuck.
[Mock Chuckle]
- Oh, no.
- All right.
Lev and I were talking about getting
a maid to come once a week.
- A maid?
- Yeah, it's not that expensive.
It's like 400 bucks a month.
Do you know
I'm actually poor?
You aren't poor.
There are poor people.
You aren't one of them.
You'd feel poor if you had
as little money as I do.
But you're not poor.
That's offensive to actual poor people.
Yeah, I guess that's true.
You want -
- You want to hear something hilarious?
- Yes.
Lev thinks we're gonna
end up married.
I'm too tall to marry.
You are.
That's so funny.
Why does he think that?
Well, I did want to sleep with you
when I first met you.
But now - totally undateable.
I guess we are like a married couple
in a way. We talk. We don't have sex.
Yeah, we get along super well.
Sophie and I were like that too.
Right, but Sophie's a girl...
and you're both straight,
so it had less, like...
real-world probability.
Right. Well -
Okay. I'm done.
I hope I don't have the spins
when I lie down.
Just lay on your back
by the edge of the bed...
and put one foot on the floor.
It helps.
Good night, then.
Good night.
- Good luck with Gremlins.
- Three.
Open? Shut?
Shut, I guess.
- I don't know. Does it matter?
- I'll leave it open...
so if you need to throw up or cry
or something, you can call me.
Thanks, yeah. Open.
[Woman Over P.A.] Welcome
to Sacramento International Airport...
gate way to Northern California.
- Hi!
- Hi, honey. So glad you're home.
- Good to see you.
- Hi, Rosie!
[Horn Playing
"Joy To The World"]
- People are lamenting being 28, Chris?
- I know. I can't handle it.
[All Chattering, indistinct]
Bacon.
Bacon like it was chips.
I'll send it. I didn't want
to load you down with photos.
- I like this picture.
- I'll send it to you.
[Squealing]
[Laughing]
I love - I love that trumpet!
[No Audible Dialogue]
Integrity and acceptance.
[All]
Integrity and acceptance.
We seek spiritual growth.
- [Man] Intellectual stimulation.
- Intellectual stimulation.
[All]
I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine
Let it shine
Let it shine, let it shine
It's kind of far away from her.
There aren't any trains.
What about subways?
Look, look.
These - These look good.
- Okay.
- Look at those legs.
Does that hurt?
- Nope, you're numb. Won't feel a thing.
- Will it hurt when I'm not numb?
[Indistinct Conversation]
- [Knock At Door]
- [Mother] Frances?
I'm in here.
Come on, honey.
I really, really need to get in there.
- I'll be out in a second.
- Frances, how much longer?
- Are these new cutting boards?
- Mm-hmm.
As soon as I found red ones,
there I was.
- We have to make -
- [Both] More tamales.
- I can't believe Mom gave our tamales away.
- Well, Mom, you know -
- What's this one? Did I make this?
- You made that.
Oh, here's the green ballerina.
This is the one.
- The green ballerina? - You were the
green girls, Chandra and her mother.
Right. Yeah, that was our level.
We were level green.
- Bye. I love you.
- Bye, honey.
- It was a great trip.
- Yeah, I'll call you...
as soon as I'm back
in New York. Bye.
Bye.
- Ahoy, sexy!
- Oh, hey.
Stop thanking me.
It just means a lot,
letting me stay with you.
I want you to know, you are
definitely getting a thank-you note.
Don't worry.
Hey, have you ever done
where you, like, play fight?
- Why?
- Because it's funny. To be funny.
- I don't want to.
- It's super fun.
Um, so just come at me.
No.
Okay, well, then, I'll just -
Stop it! Damn it!
Sorry.
You have to fight back.
Stop it! I said stop!
Oh. S-Sorry.
Thank you so much.
Oh, my God.
He's the most beautiful creature.
He's in the 90 percentile
for height and 95 for weight.
But it evens out later, when they walk.
It doesn't mean he'll be fat.
[Woman]
No!
- Eh, you're getting a phone call.
- Oh.
It's so funny when people
have kids, and they're all...
"I used to be so focused on me,
and now I'm totally not. " it's like, no.
It's still you. It's half you.
it's a mini-you.
I mean, you made it.
[Chuckling]
- I forgot to eat today.
- The only time you hear the phrase...
"I'm not here to make friends"
is on reality television.
[Indistinct Conversation]
- Oh! Sorry.
- It's okay.
- I'm so sorry.
- No, I'm trying to not drink right now.
- I'm sorry.
- Don't be.
You're not the one
who's bat-shit crazy after four vodkas.
[Man] Janelle had a hard time
giving it up when she was pregnant.
I did, yeah.
I totally understand.
What do you do?
- What? - What do you do? It's such a
stupid question, I thought I'd ask it.
Oh, no. I'm - I'm a lawyer.
- What do you do?
- That's such a stupid question.
Just kidding.
Um, it's kind of hard to explain.
Because what you do
is complicated?
Uh, because I don't really do it.
- I am a dancer, I guess.
- Mm.
Frances and I
are in the same company.
But Rachel's in the main company.
I'm an apprentice.
Hopefully the touring company soon.
I have a meeting with Colleen on Monday.
- Oh, cool.
- Yeah.
But things are really great.
Rachel and I have
a really cool apartment.
Or Rachel does,
and I'm staying there for six-ish weeks.
- Five.
- Right. Five. Yeah.
But everything's
up in the air right now.
I like being alone.
- I just got back from Sacramento.
- Oh!
Oh, Andy and Janelle
just got back from Paris.
Six and a half hours
on a plane with a baby.
Won't be doing that again soon.
But it was heaven.
Do you ever get to Paris?
Uh, no, not really.
Kind of, once.
Actually, no.
What's that museum...
with the escalators and tubes?
- The Pompidou.
- Yeah!
They have this great place
in the Sixth.
- Oh, it's a little pied-a-terre.
- Literally?
Yeah, but it's
a really special place.
Yeah, it's just so hard
to get to spend any time there...
since I got the job at the Journal...
and the baby.
I'd love to go to Paris.
I'll bet it's magic.
Uh, my friend
from college, Abby...
who moved there with her boyfriend
because he works at a bank...
in college, she was one
of the top five group of friends...
but then Zoe became closer
to the group and Abby moved...
to the outer circle.
Sophie and Abby
never totally got along...
and then she started
dating Paul...
who I always thought
would've dated any of us...
but... he ended up with Abby.
Well, if you're ever there...
- we like for it to be used.
- Yeah.
I don't see myself
getting there super soon...
but... thanks, thanks.
That is a very sexy dress.
Fuck, I sound
like a gay grandmother.
Frances, I think you know
one of my colleagues at Goldman -
Reade "Patch" Krause.
Yeah, I know Patch.
"'Sup, brah?"
That's him.
Nobody is better...
at anticipating inflection points
than Patchy.
His girlfriend, Sophie, and I
are the same person with different hair.
Not really.
We went to college together...
and we used to take the train into the
city on weekends and make bad decisions.
- You got pregnant?
- What? No.
She's a great lady.
I really like her. So smart.
Yeah. I mean - Yeah.
I mean, we're all smart.
Yeah, but she's...
book-smart smart.
She's actually not.
She doesn't really read...
except for work,
which is the funny thing.
She seems like
she reads a lot to me.
- I read way more.
- Mm-hmm.
I don't know why I'm shit-talking Sophie.
She's basically the best person I know.
- It's kind of crazy though, right?
- Mm, yeah.
- Which part?
- Japan.
Japan?
Yeah, they're moving to Japan
in a couple of weeks.
- Wait. What?
- Patch got transferred.
it's a really cool position.
He's gonna be...
the director of research
for all the Asian markets.
For how long?
Indefinitely.
But Sophie has a job
at Random House.
She quit.
Oh.
[Andy] The Pilates thing is nice.
You feel so good.
[Rachel] Frances and I do
a lot of yoga. It"s good for dance.
It's fun to go with somebody,
to have a friend to go with.
I think I'm better-looking
than I am in pictures.
[Frances]
Nadia?
I want this one moment.
It's - it's what I want
in a relationship...
which might explain
why I am single now. Ha, ha.
It's, uh -
It's kind of hard lo -
it's that thing
when you're with someone...
and you love them
and they know it...
and they love you
and you know it...
but it's a party...
and you're both talking
to other people...
and you're laughing
and shining...
and you look across the room...
and catch each other's eyes...
but - but not because
you're possessive...
or it's precisely sexual...
but because...
that is your person
in this life.
And ifs funny and sad,
but only because...
this life will end,
and it's this secret world...
that exists right there...
in public, unnoticed,
that no one else knows about.
It's sort of like how they say
that other dimensions exist...
all around us, but we don't have
the ability to perceive them.
That's -
That's what I want
out of a relationship.
Or just life, I guess.
Love.
[Exhales]
I sound stoned.
I'm not stoned.
Thanks for dinner. Bye.
Oh. Bye.
Where the fuck are you going?
I'm kinda wasted.
I was gonna go home. Is that okay?
I don't care.
I was just kidding.
- Thanks so much for having me tonight.
- Nice to have met you.
Good luck, Frances.
You're leaving.
Actually, Andy...
I think I might be going
to Paris this weekend.
Really?
Oh. D-Do you want to stay
in our apartment?
Yes.
- [Janelle] Fantastic.
- Okay.
That's wonderful.
I'll get you the information.
- Wonderful.
- Great.
[Indistinct Conversation]
Frances!
- Benji!
- Hey!
I knew it was you.
I could tell by your weird man walk.
- A beard!
- Yeah.
- Hello.
- This is Caroline.
I'm Caroline.
- How are the dances, Frances?
- [Chuckles]
- Frances and I used to be married. - What
are you guys doing? You want to get a drink?
We're going to my friend's party.
it's a house party.
- I mean, that's the theme.
- How's that a theme?
- Amazing, right?
- And it's in an apartment.
- You can come if you want.
- No, I really -
I shouldn't.
I'm going to Paris for two days.
- What?
- Why so short?
I have a meeting
with Colleen on Monday.
- I don't know you.
- Wait, I thought you were poor.
I'm gonna use this credit card
I got in the mail.
That's not smart.
They want to keep you in debt.
I know that.
I see documentaries.
Good for you, kid.
I lived there for a year.
- You never told me that. - Yep. I was there
when Serge Gainsbourg died.
- It was a crazy time.
- Weren't you, like, eight?
- Yeah, it was the end of Euro-disco.
- I have so much to do.
I think I'll probably read Proust...
because sometimes it's good to do what
you're supposed to when you're supposed to.
Proust is pretty heavy.
- It's worth it, I hear. - I meant the
book-carrying it on the plane.
I should probably
learn French first...
and then read it in French.
Undateable.
Well, kid, we've gotta run.
- Nice meeting you.
- Oh, you too. You're very pretty.
- Thank you.
- See you around, weirdo.
["Every 1's A Winner"]
[Man Speaking Over P.A.,
Indistinct]
Hey, Abby, it's Frances.
I just got in.
Uh, I'm going to this...
free apartment of this dude.
Right now
I'm gonna get some sleep...
uh, but call me.
I'll be around all tomorrow.
I'd love to see you and Paul.
Never could believe
the things you do to me
I never could believe
the way you are
Every day I bless the day
that you got through to me
Cause, baby, I believe
that you're the star!
Everyone's a winner, baby
- That's the truth
- That's the truth
Making love to you
is such a thrill
Everyone's a winner, baby
- That's no lie
- That's no lie
You never fail to satisfy
Satisfy
[Children Shouting]
[School Bell Rings]
Oh, shit.
Hey, Abby,
ifs Frances again.
Do you guys want to meet for dinner?
I can meet you anywhere.
I'll be the girl with the acne
holding more acne.
Baby, it's amazing
just how wonderful if is
That the things we like to do
are just the same
- Everyone's a winner, baby
That's the truth - Are you open?
- No? Okay. - Making low inheritabilty
ve to you is such a thrill
Everyone's a winner, baby
- That's no lie
- That's no lie
You never fail to satisfy
- Satisfy
- Let's do it again
Oh, hey
Let's do it again
[Cell Phone Ringing]
- Hello?
- [Sophie] Frances?
Sophie!
Oh, my God! Hi! Hi!
- Hi.
- Hi.
I called you to tell you
I'm moving to Japan with Patch.
Is that good?
Are you excited?
I know things are weird
between us, but...
we're having a kind
of going-away party tonight...
and I wanted to say
you're invited.
I'm -
- I can't.
- You don't have to lie.
I'm not lying.
I'm really not.
- That's awesome about Japan.
- It's crazy.
Last week Patch's boss
called Patch into his office...
and was like,
"Japan, bitch. "
I wish I could come tonight.
Me too.
- We could get dinner next week.
- Why now? No, I want to...
but Patch's grandfather
is real sick...
and we're all going to Chicago
for these special treatments.
Being sick when you're rich
is totally awesome.
They replace all his cells
or something.
We'll be back to New York a lot.
We'll just be based in Tokyo.
- You'll learn Japanese. - We can
videochat. Twenty-first century. What up?
- My computer doesn't have that.
- New places are good for you.
- Yeah.
- You should travel, Fran.
I am. I will.
I'm going to.
I'm really happy for you.
I just -
No, you know What?
I'm just really happy for you.
- We're gonna have a blog.
- Together?
Yeah. Barf.
We'll upload pictures
and stories and stuff.
I'm so sorry I missed
your Christmas show.
- I guess I was mad.
- I didn't -
I wasn't so good anyway.
How's all that going?
Good. Great.
I'm meeting on Monday
with Colleen to talk about stuff.
You'll finally be in the company?
For real?
Yeah. I'll probably
be touring, though.
That's so great, Fran.
Yeah, it is.
Where are you living? I heard
you're not with the boys anymore.
Hey, do you want to live
in our apartment while we're in Japan?
No, I- No.
I'm gonna have
my own place real soon.
Maybe one day
I'll stay with you.
Maybe.
I should go.
Thanks for calling.
I'm - I'm sor- I'm sorry too.
- Apology accepted. - Don't
be a dick about it. - I wasn't.
- This phone call's costing me a fortune.
- Why?
Just kidding. It's not.
Hey, Is Abby in Paris night now,
do you know?
- I think so.
- Okay.
- You sound really good, Frances.
- I am.
I am really good.
Thank you for calling.
I'm going to say something now...
but I don't want you to
feel obligated to say...
...anything back, so I'm
gonna hang up right away.
I love you, Sophie. Bye.
Hello. When did
Puss in Boots start?
- Everyone's a winner, baby
That's the truth. That's the truth
Making love to you
is such a thrill
Everyone's a winner, baby
- That's no lie
- That's no lie
You never fail
To satisfy
- Satisfy
- Let's do it again
[Alarm Beeping]
Do it again
[Woman] Hi, Frances.
Honey, we just got your messages.
I don't know why
they didn't come through before.
We're here.
We'd love to see you.
This is so wild.
You remember Gerard,
Nicolas' brother?
The one who looks like
Jean-Pierre Laud?
[Chuckles] Well, he's divorced now,
and hes staying with us.
I think you'd really like him.
Come to dinner tonight.
He'll be there,
as well as a philosopher...
and a painter couple
who are really great.
Oh! This is such good timing.
Hey, you. Come on in.
- Rachel said you were in Paris.
- I was.
- Back so soon?
- Well, we had this meeting.
We could've moved it.
I mean, I almost canceled it...
myself this morning.
I woke up with this tickle
in my throat.
Listen, do you want
to take over Nancy's position?
- Nancy, who works in the office?
- She 3 pregnant.
Oh. No, I don't.
Who told you that?
No, I'm asking you.
I assumed you're not
keeping on with the company.
- You don't want to be an
apprentice for life. - Nope.
You should think about putting
your own stuff together.
- Like how?
- Like, your own work.
Oh, no. I kind of
gave that up after college.
Plus, that was basically like...
cheerleaders
doing my choreography.
- I always liked the stuff you did,
even for the kids. - Yeah?
You really should think
about taking Nancy's position.
It's not a lot of money,
but it's enough to keep you going.
- Why would I do that?
- It's just a good day job...
while you figure out whether
you want to choreograph.
- You say it like it's easy.
- No, it's not easy.
But if you work here,
you can use the studio space.
No.
I'll get something else.
I'm really close to getting something.
- A job? - Yeah. Dancing. I'm still
gonna be a dancer. Just not here.
Wow! Well, good for you.
That's great.
I know.
Well, good luck to you,
Frances.
Yeah.
Good luck to you too.
- [Frances] Hi Mom.
- [Mother] Hi honey.
- [Frances] H1i Mom.
- Tom, pick up the other phone.
- How is it up there?
- Good. Good.
I I'm dancing, kind of
I get to live in a dorm
I didn't live in, which is fun.
- All the RAs live in dorms. - Not the one
in the living room. The battery is dead.
- Is it strange to be back?
- It's nice.
It's so empty in summer.
It's weird. It's like
I went back to college...
...but everyone was a dancer
and not a semiotics major.
- That must be fun for you, though.
- And now I'm one of the adults.
- I keep thinking I'm gonna run into Sophie.
- [Father] Hi, honey.
[Mother] I got a picture of Sophie
and Patch in the largest dog park in Japan.
- I think I'd like that.
- I got a picture of them at a porn mall.
- Do you have enough money?
- Yeah. I mean...
I'm still in debt from Paris.
That was just stupid.
- I'm sorry we can't help you out.
- You help out so much.
I'll be okay. They pay me extra
to work the events.
- Oh, you aren't a good waitress. - It's not
waitressing. It's like pouring for donors.
- [Father] Are you choreographing?
- [Mother] Tom, we went over this.
At least you can't spend
money in nature.
- [Mother] Where are you right now?
- Nature.
We don't have to, like,
guide them personally, do we?
We just have to make sure
they don't fuck or die.
- Ah, good, because I'm having a
Walden's Pond moment. - You have a pond?
I found something out
about Walden's Pond:
It was five minutes
from his mom's house.
He used to go over there
and get supplies.
- So where are you?
- Here.
- No, where do you go to college?
- I don't. I'm not -
I'm done with college.
But I went here when I was younger.
Weird. For some reason, I thought
you had to be in college to do this.
Nope. I just wanted
to get out of the city...
and I knew the director of the summer
program, so she hooked it up.
They had room and board. I'm working
the events to make more money.
- You're super responsible.
- No, I'm not.
It wasn't that long ago
that I went here. I'm only 27.
- Are you with the program?
- Yes, I'm assisting.
- Great. So you're a teacher.
- No, I'm not.
- I'm an RA, but I'm also a dancer.
- I'm so sorry.
- For what?
- Resident assistants can't take class.
But I'm -
I'm not just an RA.
I'm so sorry.
I don't make the rules.
- I'm a dancer, and I went here.
- Sorry. I have to start class.
You're a really good waitress.
I'm not a waitress.
I just pour.
[Indistinct Conversation]
- You were supposed to be on duty
ten minutes ago. Shh! - I'm sorry. I -
[Sobbing]
Are you okay?
Yeah.
I'm just gonna sit here, okay?
You don't have to do that.
I'm just going to, though.
Are you gonna
study abroad there?
Oh, no.
I'm not a student.
There's no more "abroad. "
I'm half Japanese.
My best friend
kind of lives there now.
Are you done?
[Geese Honking]
Ma'am, you can't smoke here.
- Oh, sorry.
- No, don't throw it!
Goddamn it!
Famous, how?
[Man] She's a senator
or a congress woman or something.
- She's important.
- I should read the news more.
Your job tonight
is to follow her.
Just make sure she's taken care of. She
just gave a ton of money to the school.
So you don't leave
until she leaves. Got it?
When I went here,
it was all girls.
To meet a boy, we had to take
the fuck truck to Hoboken.
You went here? Excuse me.
You went to here?
- Yes.
- Oh, my God. That makes so much sense.
I knew you looked familiar.
You were on the freakin' brochure.
- I'm Frances. I went here.
- Nice to meet you, Frances.
You too. Sorry, sorry.
I'm not supposed to talk to you.
- I'm pouring.
- Ah, yes.
You're very inspiring.
Actually,
the endowment has grown.
Oh, you look so lonely.
I'll see you later, Karen.
You look like a painting:
The Lonely Boy.
I'm actually a painter.
- You're kidding.
- No.
What kind of painter are you?
[Woman Sobbing]
You don't care.
- You hate me!
- I don't hate you. I love you.
You bought the cheapest
auction thing. The cheapest!
[Patch]
I didn't even go here!
You gave a great speech.
I seriously can't believe you're an
independent, because that's bullshit.
Sorry.
Sophie, let's go.
I went here. I thought you were great.
I made him give money.
[Congress woman]
Good. Nice to meet you.
We live in Japan,
so it's, like, crazy we're here.
That's wonderful you came
all the way back for the auction.
I wish. No, we're in New York
for a funeral. His grandpa.
- I wanted to come here. He
drove, but it was my idea. - Ah.
- I'm sorry for your loss.
- It's okay.
- His grandpa had a psycho family
in Germany. - Sophie, let's go.
I loved meeting you.
A real honor.
This douche is my affianced.
- Ah.
- We're engaged.
You're engaged?
It's not... "engaged" engaged.
Right. What?
We're back for a funeral. I would've called,
but you were touring with the company.
Yeah, right, I was,
but I needed a break...
and I thought
it would be so funny...
to come back to the college
for the summer.
It is funny.
In a great way.
And, yeah, just making
extra money doing this kind of gig.
Yeah.
What a slut!
- Are you okay? Do you need some food?
- I'll just eat this.
- I really didn't expect to see you.
- Ditto.
It's almost hard to be happy about it,
because I didn't have time to anticipate it.
Want to get out of here?
I can't.
I have to shadow
this woman.
She's my ward.
- [Sophie] I want to drive.
- [Patch] No, you're too fucked up.
- [Sophie] You're fucked up.
- No, I'm not. I drank fucking Perrier.
[Sophie]I'm not going beck to New York.
I don't want to go to the funeral tomorrow.
- You have to go! - I'm hanging out
with Frances. We're going to the mall.
- No, we're not.
- I'm bringing Frances to the funeral.
I don't want to go.
You didn't even know your grandpa.
You didn't hang out.
It's a funeral. It doesn't matter.
Get in the car!
If you're so broken up,
why did we go to the auction?
- You made me go!
- I don't want you here!
You were wasted!
And I wasn't going to let you drive.
- Goddamn it, Sophie!
- Frances, what do you think?
- About what?
- You don't need to answer.
- How sad were you really when
your grandpa died? - Pretty sad.
I wasn't, and I don't see why you should be.
Your grandpa was a cheating Nazi!
He was not a Nazi!
Take your feet off the dash!
Frances, where do you live?
- Chuggins.
- Is that a dorm?
- Yes.
- How the fuck do you get to Chuggins?
Oh, this is me, right up here.
My dorm.
Chuggins.
We never lived in this dorm.
I know.
It's like the life I never had.
Anyway...
congratulations
on your engagement.
And sorry for your loss.
You are so fucking selfish.
- Good night, Frances.
- Don't talk to her. Don't look at her.
- She's my friend. She doesn't
even like you. - I like you.
I like you too, Frances.
[Knock At Door]
Hey. Hey, come in.
- [Sophie] Can I stay?
- Of course.
Come. Stay.
[Utensils Rattling]
[Door Shuts]
It's made in the microwave,
but it's good.
Thank you.
I hope it's okay
I borrow loungewear.
- Of course.
- I think I'm gonna -
Oh! Okay, okay.
Here. Shit.
[Vomiting]
I'm sorry I was so drunk
I threw up.
I'm sorry I live in a dorm...
and have a single bed.
Here. You lay on the outside.
Okay.
Lay on your back
and put one foot on the floor.
It helps
if you have the spins.
I used to throw up all the time
when I was pregnant.
You were pregnant?
In Japan, for a few weeks.
And then I miscarried,
which was cool.
Wow.
That sounds crass.
Miscarriage is not cool.
- Would you have had it?
- No.
- Are you gonna marry Patch?
- No.
I can't believe that pregnant
is no longer crazy.
I don't want to stay in Tokyo.
I hate it there.
- Really?
- Yeah.
And then when I got pregnant,
I was just like, "Get me the fuck out. "
But your blog looks so happy.
I don't think my mom would read it
if it were about depression.
My mom would.
I was telling the truth.
I like Patch.
I don't hate him.
I know.
I'm sorry about -
It's just, if something funny happens
on the way to the deli...
you'll only tell one person,
and that'll be Patch...
and I'll never hear about it.
Fuck, I'm tired.
It's bedtime for all good children.
I want to leave Patch and leave Tokyo
and come back to New York.
- You should.
- I'm going to.
I could - I don't know.
I could - I could help you.
I was gonna say,
"You could live with me"...
but I don't have a home.
- I am going to do it.
- Fuck, yeah, girl.
I miss my job.
I miss old skyscrapers.
Maybe we'll move back to New York
at the same time and be like...
women who rediscover
themselves after a divorce.
- That's what my mom did.
- Oh, yeah. Sorry.
No. I think it'll be great.
We should get apartments
close to each other in Brooklyn.
Yeah.
That's what we'll do.
I've always felt
so competitive with you.
Really?
I don't think I realized
we were competitive.
- Fran?
- Yes?
Can you -
I know it's not my bed, but -
What?
Can you take off your socks?
Oh, yeah. Sure.
It's just, you know -
socks in bed.
Right. Gross.
I love you, Frances.
Good night.
I love you, Sophie.
Good night.
[Sophie's Voice]
F, I'm sorry I was so drunk last night...
but' thank you for being
nice to me, which I know...
...you were, even though
I don't remember it.
All I know is you don't have a trash can
this morning, so it must've been bad.
- [Door Shuts]
- Ha, ha. I love you.
I've got to get back
to this funeral in New York.
Call me when you're a wake.
My phone works in the States...
and there aren't
any charges or anything.
XOXO. Sophie.
Sophie!
Sophie!
Sophie! Sophie!
[Indistinct Conversations]
How can they be so nasty?
I'm sorry.
- Probably head back in about five.
- Yes, hi. This is Frances.
Yes, "Frances for tonight. "
[Chuckles]
Thanks.
I just wanted to double-check
that we're still...
...on for me bringing my
guys in a little early.
Okay. Great.
I'll see you in 30.
I think the other two groups
will be here by 6:45.
We'll be done by then.
Thanks.
- Hey!
- Good to see you.
Hi! Hi.
Thanks for coming.
Urn, over there.
[Indistinct]
[indistinct Conversation]
Then you guys rest for a second.
Can I see the two of you?
[People Applauding]
- Okay.
- Cue one...
into the master,
and you're all set.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
[Rhythmic Percussion]
[Flowing]
Yea!
Fuck you guys.
You got married.
- We did.
- What?
- Yeah.
- Hi.
[Indistinct Conversation]
Hey. That was great.
Oh, thanks, Ben.
I like things
that look like mistakes.
No, at times
it reminded me of -
Did you see the exhibit
at the Met...
about the textiles
that influenced Matisse?
That's what your piece
reminded me of-
not the paintings,
but the textiles.
- Hmm.
- Undateable.
- Me?
- No, I meant me that time.
Oh. Oh, yeah. Textiles.
Yeah, but also true.
Meaning I'm not dating anyone.
- Undateable. Same difference.
- Oh.
Are you really still, uh -
Are you undateable?
You mean, am I -
Oh. Oh, yes.
Yes. Very undateable.
It was so interesting,
and so you.
- Oh, thank you.
- To me it came right out.
[Frances]
I really appreciate that.
Yeah. It's a huge accomplishment.
it's a huge piece.
Yeah, I- I know.
It's a lot of people.
Thank you.
[Colleen]
It's just great.
I have to say, it just...
is so impressive to me.
Who - Who are you
making eyes at?
That's Sophie.
She's my best friend.
["Modern Love"]
I know when to go out...
or when to stay in.
Get things done.
I catch the paperboy
But things don't really change
I'm standing in the wind
But I never wave bye-bye
But I try
I try
There's no sign of life
It's just the power to charm
I'm lyin' in the rain
But I never wave bye-bye
But I try
I try
- Never gonna fall for
- Modern love
- Walks beside me
- Modern love
- Walks on by
- Modern love
Gets me
to the church on time
It's not really work
It's just the power to charm
I'm still standing in the wind
But I never wave bye-b ye
But I try
I try
- Never gonna fall for
- Modern love
- Walks beside me
- Modern love
- Walks on by
- Modern love
Gets me
to the church on time
- Church on time
- Terrifies me
- Church on time
- Makes me party
- Church on time
- Puts my trust in God and man
- God and man
- No confessions
- God and man
- No religion
- God and man
- Don't believe in modern love
- Modern love
- Walks beside me
- Modern love
- Walks on by!
- Modern love
- Gets me to the church on time
- Church on time
- Terrifies me
- Church on time
- Makes me party
- Church on time
- Puts my trust in God and man
- God and man
- No confessions
- God and man
- No religion
- God and man
- Don't believe in modern love
- Modern love
- Modern love
- Modern love
- Modern love
- Modern love
- Modern love
- Modern love
- Modern love
- Modern love
- Modern love
- Modern love
- Modern love
- Modern love
- Modern love
- No feet!
No! No!
- No! Not the hair!
- Yes.
- Not the - Frances!
- Ow!
[Chattering, indistinct]
I tried to make a frittata,
but it's really more of a scramble.
This is interesting.
"To praise a work of literature
by calling it sincere...
is now at best a way of saying that,
although it may be given...
no aesthetic or intellectual
admiration -"
[Woman Speaking On Computer,
indistinct]
I wouldn't eat
a domesticated dog.
You say that
just because they're cute.
[Indistinct]
[Movie Playing On Computer,
Indistinct]
[Movie Stops]
Don't be stupid.
I should sleep in my own bed.
Why?
Because I bought it.
Stay.
But take off your socks.
- [Frances] it's hairless?
- No, it has fine, curly hair.
There's this house
in Westchester -
the basement
is all Cornish Rexes.
It smells awful.
The top floor is Siamese cats.
- I'm allergic to cats.
- They're hypoallergenic.
- This is a special Frances kitty.
- Oh. Who knew?
This one's the runt, which is cheaper,
but I think it's the best one anyway.
I figure one runt
and one regular.
I put a hundred-dollar
down payment on each cat.
Well, 80 for the runt
and a hundred for the other one.
- Why not just get one cat? - A cat needs
a buddy. If you get one, you need two.
I'll give you $200
to get no cats.
So who will take care of them
if you go away?
I thought we could
get 'em together.
And move them back and forth
between our apartments?
No. I thought maybe...
you could move in with me.
Oh. Wow.
- Do you want to move in with me?
- Yeah.
Yes. I mean,
I do have this other thing.
- What other thing?
- Well, I don't know.
I promised Sophie
I'd stay through the lease...
and she'll probably
want to renew it.
Is that bad?
I'm sorry. I feel bad.
- Can't she find someone else?
- Yeah, but it's my friend.
- Uh-huh.
- I want to move in with you. - Okay.
- I feel bad.
- Don't feel bad. Forget it.
- No. What?
- Nothing.
- You're mad.
- I'm not mad. I'm disappointed.
- I feel bad.
- Stop feeling bad.
Frances, I asked you
to move in. You said no.
- But I can't.
- You can. You don't want to.
[Cell Phone Ringing]
- Who is it?
- I don't have to get it.
- Who is it? - Sophie. I'll call her later.
- Just pick up the phone.
- Are you sure?
- Answer it.
Yo, girl! What's up?
Hey, where are you?
I can't come.
Are you drunk?
I love you!
Ahh! Dumpling House!
I can't really talk right now.
Okay. I love you.
Okay.
I love you.
[Chuckling]
She's with these guys...
Benji and Lev,
at a party in Chinatown.
They're drunk.
I don't know.
Maybe this isn't working.
- I'm sorry.
- Me too..
Maybe -
No, never mind.
- What?
- I want to pay you for the cats.
I'm not gonna take
money from you...
but I am going
to get the cats anyway.
But then you're gonna be
a single guy with two cats.
Why would I be single?
- With two cats.
- No, I know.
I mean,
why would I be single?
I don't know.
I thought you said that
this isn't working.
I mean, if we don't move in together.
If we can't move in together.
We can move in together.
I don't know that I believe
anything I'm saying.
Uh-huh.
This hasn't been great
for a while.
"This hasn't been great
for a while. "
This has not been -
[Exhales]
- Where are you going?
- Home, I guess.
I'm really... tired.
I'm always so tired.
Let's move in together.
[Rock]
Hi!
You're crazy.
You know Lev?
Yes.
- And Benji?
- Hi.
I can't get interested
in art or books...
or movies about animals.
The animals have to talk
or be at war for me to be interested.
Don't hit the third rail.
Shit!
The F's not running.
- [Sophie] I want a sip.
- Do you want your own?
I want a sip.
The coffee people are right.
We are like a lesbian couple
that doesn't have sex anymore.
- Wait. Come back.
- Don't pick at your face.
I don't like smoking alone.
Me and Dan
don't have sex anymore.
Didn't have sex anymore.
Yeah, that's why you broke up.
And if it happened,
he would just -
He only had one way
he could finish.
Oh, I hate that.
It was always with me facing flat
on the bed from behind...
which just -
everything that matters
is covered up.
- It's like with me and Patch.
- Yo, Patchy!
'Sup, brah?
[Chuckles]
The way he always likes
to come in my face.
Yeah. Classy.
He's the kind of guy who says,
"I've gotta take a leak. "
And wears predistressed
baseball hats.
He's a nice guy -
you know, for today.
I should feel bad
I went to that party.
You deserved it.
You just got out of relationship jail.
- I think Dan was an alcoholic.
- He was.
He wasn't a real alcoholic...
but sometimes he would have,
like, 12 beers.
- Hey.
- What?
Lev is asking
for your number.
Give it to him.
You did just break up
with Dan. Today.
Just do it.
I love you, Sophie,
even if you love...
your phone that has e-mail
more than you love me.
My phone that has e-mail
doesn't leave a casserole dish...
in the sink for three days.
What about that time
you made a cake?
I love you too.
[Tone Sounds On Phone]
"Ahoy, sexy.
Are you around this week?"
"Ahoy, sexy"?
That is actually very gay.
Am I nautically sensual?
You're funny.
Lev didn't laugh
at any of my jokes.
You are so funny.
Should I text him back...
"Starboard anal sex"?
No.
Tell me the story of us.
Again?
All right, Frances.
We are gonna
take over the world.
You'll be this awesomely
bitchy publishing mogul.
And you'll be this famous
modern dancer...
and I'll publish
a really expensive book about you.
That d-bags we make fun of
will put on their coffee tables.
- And we'll co-own a vacation apartment
in Paris. - And we'll have lovers.
- [Sophie] And no children.
- And we'll speak at college graduations.
- And honorary degrees.
- So many honorary degrees.
- [Woman] Colleen?
- Yeah.
What time's rehearsal?
It's 4:00. Don't forget
to bring your shoes.
- Hey.
- Jesus!
Sorry. I'm here.
I don't have time to talk.
I'm doing the job of three people.
But I can see you
after rehearsal.
I read that article in the Times.
You must be so happy.
Yeah, thanks. I forget
I make my own work sometimes.
Bu! thanks.
- I usually hate that woman's writing.
- Right. Thank you, Frances.
Actually, I had a couple of questions.
I'm trying to be proactive about my life.
Ah. Well, I might have some
studio space available...
if you want to play
with some choreography.
Uh, no, I was wondering
if there were...
any more classes
at the school I could teach.
I'm a little -
I'm kind of broke.
I'll check,
but I'm all full up, I think.
I thought so. I'm just proud
of myself for asking.
I'll probably be able
to use you and some of...
...the other apprentices
for the Christmas show.
- I mean, that's something.
- That's great.
I just wanted to say
I really look up to you...
and I just -
I think you're great.
[Chuckles]
A beat-up old dancer doing paperwork?
[Exhales]
I really need to do
all this paperwork now.
I'm running rehearsal today,
so I'll see you there.
- Bye.
- Bye.
And then he was like,
"Rachel, you are cold and mean. "
And I was like, "Fuck...
that really hurt my feelings. "
[Chattering, indistinct]
[Colleen]
And up over the head.
Boom. Perfect.
Over and... shoulder:
[Man Snapping Fingers In Time]
Boom, boom, boom. That was great.
[Colleen] Face each other.
Look at each other.
Wrap the head around.
That's nice. That's nice.
Move it around.
That's good, Rachel.
That's night.
- All night. Understudies, out.
- [Clapping Hands]
Understudies, out. Out.
All right. Good.
Take it from the beginning.
- [Frances] Relev and down.
- [Classical]
Pli and straighten...
and pli and straighten...
and relev and down.
And relev all the way up
and turn...
to the other side...
and all the way down.
And now we have
the other foot in front.
And pli and straighten
and pli -
- Ahoy, sew!
- Ahoy, sexy!
[No Audible Dialogue]
[Brakes Screeching]
- There's no service.
- Sometimes there is for a second.
What is going on
with that phone, lady?
I didn't want to do it without knowing
it was okay with you first.
- Do what? - I want to move into
this apartment with Lisa.
It's this great apartment in Tribeca,
which is what I've always wanted...
but I don't want to do it
if it's not okay with you.
- Oh.
- They need to know by tomorrow...
so I kind of need to say
something today.
Who have you been e-mailing?
My parents, for help
with the broker's fee.
- You have to pay our rent.
- I know.
I'll pay till the end of the lease.
You know, there's only
another two months anyway.
Are you okay with it?
I really don't want to do it if you're not.
- I thought we were gonna renew our lease.
- Yeah, but we never talked about it.
- I could've moved in with Dan.
- Not if you broke up.
- That's why we broke up.
- Really?
No.
It's literally on my favorite street.
Lisa said it was too good to pass up.
- You hate Lisa.
- She's okay.
- We make fun of her.
- We're both really clean.
I'm busy.
- I wish it was gonna be with you.
- Yeah.
- But Lisa found the place.
- Right.
Does this train go to DeKalb?
We could always look for a place
together, if you want.
But it's really hard
to find stuff in Tribeca.
I can't afford Tribeca.
I'm not leaving you.
I'm just moving neighborhoods.
What are you doing?
I put my ring on my thumb,
and I'm having trouble getting it off.
Hold your hand above your head.
It'll drain the blood out.
[Brakes Screeching]
I look like
I'm asking a question.
Ow! Fuck! Fuck!
[Shouting] We bought the kettle
together, remember?
At the Mexican superstore?
Jesus!
Bring it back!
Or buy me another kettle!
[Exclaims]
Hi. I just - I just got a tax rebate.
Do you want to go to dinner?
This is me in the locker room
with the Knicks.
- Wow.
- Sophie said you liked basketball.
That was just one time.
Oh, crazy.
Oh, yeah. I was goofing around with
this vintage Triumph I think I'm gonna buy.
- Motorcycles are so loud.
- What?
You can't listen to music
when you're on a motorcycle.
But you're on a motorcycle.
- This is me with Jay Leno.
- He's such a dick.
I know,
but don't you just love him?
- Oh!
- No.
- Yes.
- No.
Ye- No. Yes.
I'm the one with the tax rebate.
- Can I take it?
- Uh - Uh - Uh-
Fine.
Just because you bought dinner
doesn't mean I'm gonna sleep with you.
I'm not trying to sleep with you.
- No, I was pretending to be a
liberated woman. - Oh. I got it.
Thanks for paying.
That was very sweet. You're a lady.
[Waitress]
Sorry, but the card didn't go through.
- Do you have another card you want to try?
- Oh, shit. Sorry.
- This is a debit card.
- Only credit cards or cash.
Okay-
I'm so embarrassed.
I'm not a real person yet.
- I got it.
- No, no. No.
I'm just gonna go run
and get some cash.
- Where's your ATM?
- [Man] No ATM. Not working.
Is there an ATM that way?
That way? Okay.
[Machine Whirring]
[Chattering, indistinct]
All right. I'll ask her.
I'll let you know.
Okay, man. See you.
Sorry, that was Benji.
My Sophie.
You go to Switzerland?
Have I been to Switzerland?
No.
No. I mean, did you go to -
Where were you?
Oh, I - It took me
so long to find the -
What the fuck'?
You're bleeding.
What? Oh!
- I c- I can't find it.
- It's somewhere on your arm.
I - Oh, shit! Sorry.
Don't apologize to me.
Oh, damn it. Let me -
No, no. One second.
I'm gonna go...
use the bathroom.
- [Frances] This place is pretty awesome.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- I'm a first responder.
- Ah. You didn't have to do that.
- You're injured.
I know, but I'm fine.
- There.
- Like a Boy Scout.
Sophie makes fun of me because
I can't account for my bruises.
- We're not living together anymore.
- Really?
Yeah. I'm gonna have
to find a new place.
I can't afford to stay there alone.
I was thinking Washington Heights.
The chick in the little room
might be moving to Portland next month.
Oh. That's good to know.
You smoke inside?
- Yeah. Don't you?
- No.
- Want to?
- Yeah.
This makes me feel like
a bad mother in 1987.
You want to see my room?
Oh!
- Is this your family?
- Nope.
Yo, check it.
Vintage lenser.
Eh!
- [Door Opens]
- [Man] Here we are.
[Woman]
Oh, my God. This is amazing.
- [Man] Lev? Honey, you home?
- Oh, Benji's home.
[Benji]
So do you do it professionally?
[Frances] Yes.
Well I mean, I'm an apprentice...
but it is a professional
dance company.
Oh. I love dance.
I dated a dancer in high school...
and her teacher said
I could've really had a future in it.
You liar. He's a liar.
No, I'm not.
Ask anyone from school.
No, I really love to dance.
It's pretty great.
I mean, it's a hard world, but -
- Do us a dance.
- I'd feel weird.
Come on.
Just one move.
Uh...
[Benji] Woman Laughing]
That was great.
You should be in this music video
a friend is working on.
- I'll hook you guys up.
- You guys are like magic.
[Benji]Is Noodle Champion
still open? I'm starving.
- I don't think so.
- All we have is - We have eggs.
I want something prepared...
and brought to me.
Wait.
- Bye. It was really good. - [Lev] I'll
call ya. We'll shoot some pigeons.
- I'll let you know about my show.
- Yes, please.
- I love your hair.
- Thank you.
- Thanks for stopping by.
- Bye.
This is the best night I've had
since Sophie dumped me.
I should probably go.
Make a left out of the building,
take the first right.
- The F is on the other side of the bridge, on
East Broadway. - You'll see a 99-cent store.
Okay. Yeah.
I should go.
Is that chick really
moving to Portland?
- Yeah.
- Before you go, do us another dance.
Okay-
[Laughing]
["Modern Love "]
I know when to go out...
or when to stay in.
Get things done.
[Shouts, Laughs]
I catch the paperboy
But things don't really change
I'm standing in the wind
But I never wave bye-bye
But I try
I try
- Never gonna fall for
- Modern love
[Shouting]
- What time you get in last night?
- Late. Like 1:00.
Why didn't you come in
and say hi?
I'm sorry.
I thought you were asleep.
I wasn't asleep.
I heard you come in.
Then you knew
what time I got in?
I'm working on some sample skits
for Saturday Night Live.
A producer said I could probably
get a job writing for them.
- Cool.
- Such a lie.
- Guys, this is Nessa.
- [Benji] Hey.
Hello. I'm Frances.
Lev and I were gonna make
bacon-egg bagels. You want some?
Oh, no. Thanks, though.
I wanted to go to the Met...
and I have to deposit this check
and drop off my laundry.
A whole Sunday planned.
- [Lev] Ever ridden on a motorcycle?
- [Nessa] Once.
[Lev]
It's an '85 Honda Shadow VT700.
- Are you impressed?
- Very. Mm-hmm.
So why do you want
to live together?
Well, I met Benji
through my friend Sophie.
- Where is Sophie these days?
- Busy with work.
- Which Sophie?
- Sophie Levy.
Get out!
I fucked her little brother.
Oh, you fucked Thomas.
- Yeah.
- You fucked who?
- How do you know her? - We went to college
together, and we're the same person.
- You're that Frances!
- But we have different hair.
That's what we say.
Yeah, I'm that Frances.
- She speaks so highly of you.
- Well, we're best friends.
She's been to my house
for Christmas three times.
- Why doesn't she go to her own house?
- She's Jewish.
- She was saying last week she loved you.
- You saw her last week?
- When did you fuck her brother? - Where
were you guys? - I met you last night.
- We were at that restaurant, Po.
- Who were you fucking last week, Lev?
Is that a good restaurant?
Was she with -
Who was she with?
Me and Thomas and that guy
she dates, Patch.
- Double-date.
- And some girl. Lena?
- Lisa. Cunt.
- Who were you fucking last week, Frances?
- I make love.
- Frances: undateable.
- Aren't you a lot older than Sophie?
- No. We went to college together.
- Hmm. You seem older.
- I'm a couple months older.
Like, a lot older...
but less, like, grown up.
It's weird.
You have an older face.
But, like, you don't have
your shit together.
Nessa can't come from sex.
Only 69.
That's a crazy helmet.
Got to. Motorcycle law.
Can you leave that rent check?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I'll just put it on your desk.
- 950, right?
- Nope, 1,200.
[Frances]
I don't, um -
When I moved in,
we said 950.
Nope. The whole space is 4,000,
but the little room's only 1,200.
No, she's right. We said we could pay
that much until she got more cash.
Remember? Because when I do
the Christmas show...
- I'll make more because I'll be doing
ten shows a week. - Oh, right.
So we're good with 950'?
That's okay? I'm really sorry.
No prob.
Catch you on the flip side.
[Sighs]
He leaves so easily.
Well, transportation's his thing.
Bike, skateboard.
He has a car too.
I can't even get
out of the house on my feet.
You know what Virginia Woolf book
this reminds me of?
Frances: undateable.
Want to watch a mo vie?
- Now?
- Yeah. Let's do a movie afternoon.
I already wasted the whole day.
I already feel bad.
I think it's a great day.
I ate an egg bagel
that Lev's slut made me.
I Internet-acquired three pairs
of very rare Ray-Bans.
I'm doing awesome.
I thought we were both broke.
I caved and finally took
a loan from my stepdad.
Bastard.
I need a fucking job, though.
- What about SNL?
- Yeah, maybe.
It's gone so downhill.
Till then, it's after 3:00.
I can drink.
Let's do something fun.
- We could go to a movie.
- Movies are so expensive now.
Yeah, but you're at the movies.
I should be saving
so I can pay full rent.
Well, I'm not gonna force you.
I have to work out, at least.
I cannot get fat.
Do I look old to you?
No. Yes.
- How old?
- Older than I am?
- Older than 27?
- No.
Twenty-seven is old, though.
[Mo vie Playing On TV]
[Frances]
Isn't this place amazing?
- Is that an Eames chair?
- Yeah.
- Isn't this great?
- Total rich-kid apartment.
The boys just have good eyes.
They find stuff all the time.
Do you know who
Lev Shapiro's dad is?
He doesn't get along with his dad.
Lev and Benji are artists.
Exactly. The only people who can afford
to be artists in New York are rich.
I'm an artist.
I'm not rich.
You are rare.
We need whiskeys.
It's just, this apartment
is very... aware of itself.
Everyone who comes here loves it.
I love it.
The three of us
are hilarious together.
We're like a sitcom:
My Two Husbands.
Oh, that's great.
I'm really happy for you, Frances.
Thank you, Sophie.
Ladies.
Lev Shapiro, you know Sophie?
Of course.
Still beautiful.
- How is the publishing business?
- You know, not good.
How's sculpture?
Amazing-ng-ng.
Oh. My boyfriend likes
that artist you work for.
- Tell your boyfriend he can talk to me
if he wants to buy something. - I will.
Are we buying art now?
Is that the point we're at?
- I need to get clean. Ladies.
- [Sophie] Bye.
- Lev would totally date you.
- I have a boyfriend.
But isn't he charming
and so handsome?
You could be over here all the time.
it would be great.
Then you wouldn't have to spend
all that time with Lisa.
- Right. I could fuck him just to
not hang outwith Lisa. - [Door Opens]
Don't mind me.
I'm just trying to get your attention.
How could you not want to date him?
He's kind of magic.
Because I'm with Patch.
Patch is the kind of guy...
who buys
a black leather couch...
and is like, "I love it. "
- What are we doing with our day?
- I got to get going around 5:00.
- I thought we were hanging out.
- We are.
- All day. - I have plans with
Patch tonight. I told you.
- No, you didn't.
- Yes, I did. I texted that to you.
- No, you didn't.
- Yes, I did.
- Here.
- We're not doing that.
That's shitty.
It's not court.
- I did text you, though.
- I believe you.
- You don't have to believe me.
I did text you. - Want to see my room?
I kind of have a crush on this boy,
but his name is Georgie...
so I don't really know
how far it's gonna go.
- Can't fuck a Georgie.
- "I want you inside me, Georgie. "
- Have you been dating anyone?
- Nope.
- Oh, Frances.
- It's fine.
- What about Benji?
- Benji thinks I'm undateable.
It's really funny when he does it.
You and I are both undateable.
Guys can't handle us.
We're gonna end up spinsters.
You better break that to Patch.
Boys are easier.
Girls are passive-aggressive.
Boys are just like,
"Clean up your shit. "
You're still messy.
I've been busy.
No, it wasn't a criticism.
I meant it as a nice thing.
You will always be messy,
and you will always...
...look at yourself
too much in the mirror.
- When did I look at myself in the mirror?
- Always. You just were doing it.
There are so many mirrors
in this apartment.
I don't want you to change.
I like your clothes everywhere
and your mirror thing. It's sweet.
- You have stuff too.
- What?
You judge people who aren't
as moderate as you are.
- I do not.
- You do, and you don't read.
- Hey, bitches!
- Benji! You're crazy!
- [French Film On TV]
- [Door Shuts]
- [Lev] Want to see my room?
- [Woman] Sure.
- Hey, guys, this is Lindsay.
- Hi.
I wish we had cookies.
I wish we had Chessmen.
[Dramatic:]
- Good show tonight.
- You too.
- You were beautiful tonight.
- Thank you.
- Hey.
- Hi. Sorry.
I'm so slow.
I have trouble leaving places.
You were great tonight.
Thanks.
Frances,
I wanted to tell you...
so you would have
some days to process it:
We won't be able to use you
in the Christmas show.
I'm really sorry.
What?
- I'm really sorry. You know what
bad shape the company's in. - I know.
We can talk about next steps
when we're back in February.
- Am I fired?
- No.
I just- I like you...
and I want to talk about the future
and make sure it's what you want.
- I want to be in the company.
- I know.
Take your time.
I will.
I can't help it.
Oh, my love!
I'm so glad you're here!
You were great.
Really great.
- Could you see me? - We were in the risers,
so we could see to the back.
- Who?
- Sorry. Had to take a leak.
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
Shall we all go out
for a quick drink?
"A quick drink"?
- Yeah, we have to get up early tomorrow.
- Tomorrow's Saturday.
We have to catch a flight. We're
meeting my parents in the Galapagos.
I haven't packed yet.
You know me.
- Last-minute Mabel.
- Ronald Rule-follower.
[Imitating Choking]
[Electronica]
I want us to be family,
you know?
I can be part of your family,
don't you think?
Patch, I love you -
I want to love you -
but I need you to get drunk.
- [Woman] How are we doing?
- Really good.
We'll get a bottle of your most
expensive vodka for the table...
and then all of the stuff
that comes with it.
Very good.
- Sophie.
- Yes?
- Come with me.
- Where? - Bathroom.
Really?
We're still doing this?
Patch, you got this,
money-wise?
Yep.
I was lying.
I don't love Patch.
- I do love him.
- Since when? When did this happen?
- It's been happening.
- That's fucking bullshit. Come on!
No, you're bullshit. And you're
making me feel really bad right now.
- I want to love him if you love
him, but you don't love him. - I do.
Sophie, I fucking held your head
while you cried.
I bought special milk for you.
I know where you hide your pills.
Don't treat me like
a three-hour-brunch friend!
I'm not talking to you
while you're like this.
- We have to go.
- [Frances] I'm going.
- We can stay if you want.
- Come on, get your stuff.
I'm going.
You fucking sit down!
Enjoy the Galapagos.
I'm also going on vacation.
A long one.
I'll set up my e-mail
so it sends out a vacation e-mail.
My voice mail will also say
I'm on vacation...
so if you get that, don't worry -
I'm on vacation.
I'll try to give you a call
when I get back. Thanks, guys.
This was great.
- You're cleaning?
- I'm not messy. I'm busy.
I don't make the bed.
Sophie always made the bed.
I'm so happy you're home.
I had such a shitty night.
Tsk. Oh, sorry, kid.
I had a great night. I cracked the
second act of my script. I'm on page 68.
Oh, that's exciting.
Is it for SNL?
No, this is a sample script
I'm writing for the third Gremlins.
- Boy trouble tonight?
- Sophie trouble.
- Undateable.
- And I kind of-
I - I-I got temporarily fired.
I've been fired a million times.
Makes you cool.
Yeah, but if I don't have
the Christmas show...
I can't... pay rent.
Do you have any tunes?
Wait right there.
It's a jammer.
- It's great.
- I know.
- I love it. Put it on my mix.
- Aren't these headphones tits?
I just got 'em. They're super-duper
noise-canceling...
so I don't have
to hear Lev fuck.
[Mock Chuckle]
- Oh, no.
- All right.
Lev and I were talking about getting
a maid to come once a week.
- A maid?
- Yeah, it's not that expensive.
It's like 400 bucks a month.
Do you know
I'm actually poor?
You aren't poor.
There are poor people.
You aren't one of them.
You'd feel poor if you had
as little money as I do.
But you're not poor.
That's offensive to actual poor people.
Yeah, I guess that's true.
You want -
- You want to hear something hilarious?
- Yes.
Lev thinks we're gonna
end up married.
I'm too tall to marry.
You are.
That's so funny.
Why does he think that?
Well, I did want to sleep with you
when I first met you.
But now - totally undateable.
I guess we are like a married couple
in a way. We talk. We don't have sex.
Yeah, we get along super well.
Sophie and I were like that too.
Right, but Sophie's a girl...
and you're both straight,
so it had less, like...
real-world probability.
Right. Well -
Okay. I'm done.
I hope I don't have the spins
when I lie down.
Just lay on your back
by the edge of the bed...
and put one foot on the floor.
It helps.
Good night, then.
Good night.
- Good luck with Gremlins.
- Three.
Open? Shut?
Shut, I guess.
- I don't know. Does it matter?
- I'll leave it open...
so if you need to throw up or cry
or something, you can call me.
Thanks, yeah. Open.
[Woman Over P.A.] Welcome
to Sacramento International Airport...
gate way to Northern California.
- Hi!
- Hi, honey. So glad you're home.
- Good to see you.
- Hi, Rosie!
[Horn Playing
"Joy To The World"]
- People are lamenting being 28, Chris?
- I know. I can't handle it.
[All Chattering, indistinct]
Bacon.
Bacon like it was chips.
I'll send it. I didn't want
to load you down with photos.
- I like this picture.
- I'll send it to you.
[Squealing]
[Laughing]
I love - I love that trumpet!
[No Audible Dialogue]
Integrity and acceptance.
[All]
Integrity and acceptance.
We seek spiritual growth.
- [Man] Intellectual stimulation.
- Intellectual stimulation.
[All]
I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine
Let it shine
Let it shine, let it shine
It's kind of far away from her.
There aren't any trains.
What about subways?
Look, look.
These - These look good.
- Okay.
- Look at those legs.
Does that hurt?
- Nope, you're numb. Won't feel a thing.
- Will it hurt when I'm not numb?
[Indistinct Conversation]
- [Knock At Door]
- [Mother] Frances?
I'm in here.
Come on, honey.
I really, really need to get in there.
- I'll be out in a second.
- Frances, how much longer?
- Are these new cutting boards?
- Mm-hmm.
As soon as I found red ones,
there I was.
- We have to make -
- [Both] More tamales.
- I can't believe Mom gave our tamales away.
- Well, Mom, you know -
- What's this one? Did I make this?
- You made that.
Oh, here's the green ballerina.
This is the one.
- The green ballerina? - You were the
green girls, Chandra and her mother.
Right. Yeah, that was our level.
We were level green.
- Bye. I love you.
- Bye, honey.
- It was a great trip.
- Yeah, I'll call you...
as soon as I'm back
in New York. Bye.
Bye.
- Ahoy, sexy!
- Oh, hey.
Stop thanking me.
It just means a lot,
letting me stay with you.
I want you to know, you are
definitely getting a thank-you note.
Don't worry.
Hey, have you ever done
where you, like, play fight?
- Why?
- Because it's funny. To be funny.
- I don't want to.
- It's super fun.
Um, so just come at me.
No.
Okay, well, then, I'll just -
Stop it! Damn it!
Sorry.
You have to fight back.
Stop it! I said stop!
Oh. S-Sorry.
Thank you so much.
Oh, my God.
He's the most beautiful creature.
He's in the 90 percentile
for height and 95 for weight.
But it evens out later, when they walk.
It doesn't mean he'll be fat.
[Woman]
No!
- Eh, you're getting a phone call.
- Oh.
It's so funny when people
have kids, and they're all...
"I used to be so focused on me,
and now I'm totally not. " it's like, no.
It's still you. It's half you.
it's a mini-you.
I mean, you made it.
[Chuckling]
- I forgot to eat today.
- The only time you hear the phrase...
"I'm not here to make friends"
is on reality television.
[Indistinct Conversation]
- Oh! Sorry.
- It's okay.
- I'm so sorry.
- No, I'm trying to not drink right now.
- I'm sorry.
- Don't be.
You're not the one
who's bat-shit crazy after four vodkas.
[Man] Janelle had a hard time
giving it up when she was pregnant.
I did, yeah.
I totally understand.
What do you do?
- What? - What do you do? It's such a
stupid question, I thought I'd ask it.
Oh, no. I'm - I'm a lawyer.
- What do you do?
- That's such a stupid question.
Just kidding.
Um, it's kind of hard to explain.
Because what you do
is complicated?
Uh, because I don't really do it.
- I am a dancer, I guess.
- Mm.
Frances and I
are in the same company.
But Rachel's in the main company.
I'm an apprentice.
Hopefully the touring company soon.
I have a meeting with Colleen on Monday.
- Oh, cool.
- Yeah.
But things are really great.
Rachel and I have
a really cool apartment.
Or Rachel does,
and I'm staying there for six-ish weeks.
- Five.
- Right. Five. Yeah.
But everything's
up in the air right now.
I like being alone.
- I just got back from Sacramento.
- Oh!
Oh, Andy and Janelle
just got back from Paris.
Six and a half hours
on a plane with a baby.
Won't be doing that again soon.
But it was heaven.
Do you ever get to Paris?
Uh, no, not really.
Kind of, once.
Actually, no.
What's that museum...
with the escalators and tubes?
- The Pompidou.
- Yeah!
They have this great place
in the Sixth.
- Oh, it's a little pied-a-terre.
- Literally?
Yeah, but it's
a really special place.
Yeah, it's just so hard
to get to spend any time there...
since I got the job at the Journal...
and the baby.
I'd love to go to Paris.
I'll bet it's magic.
Uh, my friend
from college, Abby...
who moved there with her boyfriend
because he works at a bank...
in college, she was one
of the top five group of friends...
but then Zoe became closer
to the group and Abby moved...
to the outer circle.
Sophie and Abby
never totally got along...
and then she started
dating Paul...
who I always thought
would've dated any of us...
but... he ended up with Abby.
Well, if you're ever there...
- we like for it to be used.
- Yeah.
I don't see myself
getting there super soon...
but... thanks, thanks.
That is a very sexy dress.
Fuck, I sound
like a gay grandmother.
Frances, I think you know
one of my colleagues at Goldman -
Reade "Patch" Krause.
Yeah, I know Patch.
"'Sup, brah?"
That's him.
Nobody is better...
at anticipating inflection points
than Patchy.
His girlfriend, Sophie, and I
are the same person with different hair.
Not really.
We went to college together...
and we used to take the train into the
city on weekends and make bad decisions.
- You got pregnant?
- What? No.
She's a great lady.
I really like her. So smart.
Yeah. I mean - Yeah.
I mean, we're all smart.
Yeah, but she's...
book-smart smart.
She's actually not.
She doesn't really read...
except for work,
which is the funny thing.
She seems like
she reads a lot to me.
- I read way more.
- Mm-hmm.
I don't know why I'm shit-talking Sophie.
She's basically the best person I know.
- It's kind of crazy though, right?
- Mm, yeah.
- Which part?
- Japan.
Japan?
Yeah, they're moving to Japan
in a couple of weeks.
- Wait. What?
- Patch got transferred.
it's a really cool position.
He's gonna be...
the director of research
for all the Asian markets.
For how long?
Indefinitely.
But Sophie has a job
at Random House.
She quit.
Oh.
[Andy] The Pilates thing is nice.
You feel so good.
[Rachel] Frances and I do
a lot of yoga. It"s good for dance.
It's fun to go with somebody,
to have a friend to go with.
I think I'm better-looking
than I am in pictures.
[Frances]
Nadia?
I want this one moment.
It's - it's what I want
in a relationship...
which might explain
why I am single now. Ha, ha.
It's, uh -
It's kind of hard lo -
it's that thing
when you're with someone...
and you love them
and they know it...
and they love you
and you know it...
but it's a party...
and you're both talking
to other people...
and you're laughing
and shining...
and you look across the room...
and catch each other's eyes...
but - but not because
you're possessive...
or it's precisely sexual...
but because...
that is your person
in this life.
And ifs funny and sad,
but only because...
this life will end,
and it's this secret world...
that exists right there...
in public, unnoticed,
that no one else knows about.
It's sort of like how they say
that other dimensions exist...
all around us, but we don't have
the ability to perceive them.
That's -
That's what I want
out of a relationship.
Or just life, I guess.
Love.
[Exhales]
I sound stoned.
I'm not stoned.
Thanks for dinner. Bye.
Oh. Bye.
Where the fuck are you going?
I'm kinda wasted.
I was gonna go home. Is that okay?
I don't care.
I was just kidding.
- Thanks so much for having me tonight.
- Nice to have met you.
Good luck, Frances.
You're leaving.
Actually, Andy...
I think I might be going
to Paris this weekend.
Really?
Oh. D-Do you want to stay
in our apartment?
Yes.
- [Janelle] Fantastic.
- Okay.
That's wonderful.
I'll get you the information.
- Wonderful.
- Great.
[Indistinct Conversation]
Frances!
- Benji!
- Hey!
I knew it was you.
I could tell by your weird man walk.
- A beard!
- Yeah.
- Hello.
- This is Caroline.
I'm Caroline.
- How are the dances, Frances?
- [Chuckles]
- Frances and I used to be married. - What
are you guys doing? You want to get a drink?
We're going to my friend's party.
it's a house party.
- I mean, that's the theme.
- How's that a theme?
- Amazing, right?
- And it's in an apartment.
- You can come if you want.
- No, I really -
I shouldn't.
I'm going to Paris for two days.
- What?
- Why so short?
I have a meeting
with Colleen on Monday.
- I don't know you.
- Wait, I thought you were poor.
I'm gonna use this credit card
I got in the mail.
That's not smart.
They want to keep you in debt.
I know that.
I see documentaries.
Good for you, kid.
I lived there for a year.
- You never told me that. - Yep. I was there
when Serge Gainsbourg died.
- It was a crazy time.
- Weren't you, like, eight?
- Yeah, it was the end of Euro-disco.
- I have so much to do.
I think I'll probably read Proust...
because sometimes it's good to do what
you're supposed to when you're supposed to.
Proust is pretty heavy.
- It's worth it, I hear. - I meant the
book-carrying it on the plane.
I should probably
learn French first...
and then read it in French.
Undateable.
Well, kid, we've gotta run.
- Nice meeting you.
- Oh, you too. You're very pretty.
- Thank you.
- See you around, weirdo.
["Every 1's A Winner"]
[Man Speaking Over P.A.,
Indistinct]
Hey, Abby, it's Frances.
I just got in.
Uh, I'm going to this...
free apartment of this dude.
Right now
I'm gonna get some sleep...
uh, but call me.
I'll be around all tomorrow.
I'd love to see you and Paul.
Never could believe
the things you do to me
I never could believe
the way you are
Every day I bless the day
that you got through to me
Cause, baby, I believe
that you're the star!
Everyone's a winner, baby
- That's the truth
- That's the truth
Making love to you
is such a thrill
Everyone's a winner, baby
- That's no lie
- That's no lie
You never fail to satisfy
Satisfy
[Children Shouting]
[School Bell Rings]
Oh, shit.
Hey, Abby,
ifs Frances again.
Do you guys want to meet for dinner?
I can meet you anywhere.
I'll be the girl with the acne
holding more acne.
Baby, it's amazing
just how wonderful if is
That the things we like to do
are just the same
- Everyone's a winner, baby
That's the truth - Are you open?
- No? Okay. - Making low inheritabilty
ve to you is such a thrill
Everyone's a winner, baby
- That's no lie
- That's no lie
You never fail to satisfy
- Satisfy
- Let's do it again
Oh, hey
Let's do it again
[Cell Phone Ringing]
- Hello?
- [Sophie] Frances?
Sophie!
Oh, my God! Hi! Hi!
- Hi.
- Hi.
I called you to tell you
I'm moving to Japan with Patch.
Is that good?
Are you excited?
I know things are weird
between us, but...
we're having a kind
of going-away party tonight...
and I wanted to say
you're invited.
I'm -
- I can't.
- You don't have to lie.
I'm not lying.
I'm really not.
- That's awesome about Japan.
- It's crazy.
Last week Patch's boss
called Patch into his office...
and was like,
"Japan, bitch. "
I wish I could come tonight.
Me too.
- We could get dinner next week.
- Why now? No, I want to...
but Patch's grandfather
is real sick...
and we're all going to Chicago
for these special treatments.
Being sick when you're rich
is totally awesome.
They replace all his cells
or something.
We'll be back to New York a lot.
We'll just be based in Tokyo.
- You'll learn Japanese. - We can
videochat. Twenty-first century. What up?
- My computer doesn't have that.
- New places are good for you.
- Yeah.
- You should travel, Fran.
I am. I will.
I'm going to.
I'm really happy for you.
I just -
No, you know What?
I'm just really happy for you.
- We're gonna have a blog.
- Together?
Yeah. Barf.
We'll upload pictures
and stories and stuff.
I'm so sorry I missed
your Christmas show.
- I guess I was mad.
- I didn't -
I wasn't so good anyway.
How's all that going?
Good. Great.
I'm meeting on Monday
with Colleen to talk about stuff.
You'll finally be in the company?
For real?
Yeah. I'll probably
be touring, though.
That's so great, Fran.
Yeah, it is.
Where are you living? I heard
you're not with the boys anymore.
Hey, do you want to live
in our apartment while we're in Japan?
No, I- No.
I'm gonna have
my own place real soon.
Maybe one day
I'll stay with you.
Maybe.
I should go.
Thanks for calling.
I'm - I'm sor- I'm sorry too.
- Apology accepted. - Don't
be a dick about it. - I wasn't.
- This phone call's costing me a fortune.
- Why?
Just kidding. It's not.
Hey, Is Abby in Paris night now,
do you know?
- I think so.
- Okay.
- You sound really good, Frances.
- I am.
I am really good.
Thank you for calling.
I'm going to say something now...
but I don't want you to
feel obligated to say...
...anything back, so I'm
gonna hang up right away.
I love you, Sophie. Bye.
Hello. When did
Puss in Boots start?
- Everyone's a winner, baby
That's the truth. That's the truth
Making love to you
is such a thrill
Everyone's a winner, baby
- That's no lie
- That's no lie
You never fail
To satisfy
- Satisfy
- Let's do it again
[Alarm Beeping]
Do it again
[Woman] Hi, Frances.
Honey, we just got your messages.
I don't know why
they didn't come through before.
We're here.
We'd love to see you.
This is so wild.
You remember Gerard,
Nicolas' brother?
The one who looks like
Jean-Pierre Laud?
[Chuckles] Well, he's divorced now,
and hes staying with us.
I think you'd really like him.
Come to dinner tonight.
He'll be there,
as well as a philosopher...
and a painter couple
who are really great.
Oh! This is such good timing.
Hey, you. Come on in.
- Rachel said you were in Paris.
- I was.
- Back so soon?
- Well, we had this meeting.
We could've moved it.
I mean, I almost canceled it...
myself this morning.
I woke up with this tickle
in my throat.
Listen, do you want
to take over Nancy's position?
- Nancy, who works in the office?
- She 3 pregnant.
Oh. No, I don't.
Who told you that?
No, I'm asking you.
I assumed you're not
keeping on with the company.
- You don't want to be an
apprentice for life. - Nope.
You should think about putting
your own stuff together.
- Like how?
- Like, your own work.
Oh, no. I kind of
gave that up after college.
Plus, that was basically like...
cheerleaders
doing my choreography.
- I always liked the stuff you did,
even for the kids. - Yeah?
You really should think
about taking Nancy's position.
It's not a lot of money,
but it's enough to keep you going.
- Why would I do that?
- It's just a good day job...
while you figure out whether
you want to choreograph.
- You say it like it's easy.
- No, it's not easy.
But if you work here,
you can use the studio space.
No.
I'll get something else.
I'm really close to getting something.
- A job? - Yeah. Dancing. I'm still
gonna be a dancer. Just not here.
Wow! Well, good for you.
That's great.
I know.
Well, good luck to you,
Frances.
Yeah.
Good luck to you too.
- [Frances] Hi Mom.
- [Mother] Hi honey.
- [Frances] H1i Mom.
- Tom, pick up the other phone.
- How is it up there?
- Good. Good.
I I'm dancing, kind of
I get to live in a dorm
I didn't live in, which is fun.
- All the RAs live in dorms. - Not the one
in the living room. The battery is dead.
- Is it strange to be back?
- It's nice.
It's so empty in summer.
It's weird. It's like
I went back to college...
...but everyone was a dancer
and not a semiotics major.
- That must be fun for you, though.
- And now I'm one of the adults.
- I keep thinking I'm gonna run into Sophie.
- [Father] Hi, honey.
[Mother] I got a picture of Sophie
and Patch in the largest dog park in Japan.
- I think I'd like that.
- I got a picture of them at a porn mall.
- Do you have enough money?
- Yeah. I mean...
I'm still in debt from Paris.
That was just stupid.
- I'm sorry we can't help you out.
- You help out so much.
I'll be okay. They pay me extra
to work the events.
- Oh, you aren't a good waitress. - It's not
waitressing. It's like pouring for donors.
- [Father] Are you choreographing?
- [Mother] Tom, we went over this.
At least you can't spend
money in nature.
- [Mother] Where are you right now?
- Nature.
We don't have to, like,
guide them personally, do we?
We just have to make sure
they don't fuck or die.
- Ah, good, because I'm having a
Walden's Pond moment. - You have a pond?
I found something out
about Walden's Pond:
It was five minutes
from his mom's house.
He used to go over there
and get supplies.
- So where are you?
- Here.
- No, where do you go to college?
- I don't. I'm not -
I'm done with college.
But I went here when I was younger.
Weird. For some reason, I thought
you had to be in college to do this.
Nope. I just wanted
to get out of the city...
and I knew the director of the summer
program, so she hooked it up.
They had room and board. I'm working
the events to make more money.
- You're super responsible.
- No, I'm not.
It wasn't that long ago
that I went here. I'm only 27.
- Are you with the program?
- Yes, I'm assisting.
- Great. So you're a teacher.
- No, I'm not.
- I'm an RA, but I'm also a dancer.
- I'm so sorry.
- For what?
- Resident assistants can't take class.
But I'm -
I'm not just an RA.
I'm so sorry.
I don't make the rules.
- I'm a dancer, and I went here.
- Sorry. I have to start class.
You're a really good waitress.
I'm not a waitress.
I just pour.
[Indistinct Conversation]
- You were supposed to be on duty
ten minutes ago. Shh! - I'm sorry. I -
[Sobbing]
Are you okay?
Yeah.
I'm just gonna sit here, okay?
You don't have to do that.
I'm just going to, though.
Are you gonna
study abroad there?
Oh, no.
I'm not a student.
There's no more "abroad. "
I'm half Japanese.
My best friend
kind of lives there now.
Are you done?
[Geese Honking]
Ma'am, you can't smoke here.
- Oh, sorry.
- No, don't throw it!
Goddamn it!
Famous, how?
[Man] She's a senator
or a congress woman or something.
- She's important.
- I should read the news more.
Your job tonight
is to follow her.
Just make sure she's taken care of. She
just gave a ton of money to the school.
So you don't leave
until she leaves. Got it?
When I went here,
it was all girls.
To meet a boy, we had to take
the fuck truck to Hoboken.
You went here? Excuse me.
You went to here?
- Yes.
- Oh, my God. That makes so much sense.
I knew you looked familiar.
You were on the freakin' brochure.
- I'm Frances. I went here.
- Nice to meet you, Frances.
You too. Sorry, sorry.
I'm not supposed to talk to you.
- I'm pouring.
- Ah, yes.
You're very inspiring.
Actually,
the endowment has grown.
Oh, you look so lonely.
I'll see you later, Karen.
You look like a painting:
The Lonely Boy.
I'm actually a painter.
- You're kidding.
- No.
What kind of painter are you?
[Woman Sobbing]
You don't care.
- You hate me!
- I don't hate you. I love you.
You bought the cheapest
auction thing. The cheapest!
[Patch]
I didn't even go here!
You gave a great speech.
I seriously can't believe you're an
independent, because that's bullshit.
Sorry.
Sophie, let's go.
I went here. I thought you were great.
I made him give money.
[Congress woman]
Good. Nice to meet you.
We live in Japan,
so it's, like, crazy we're here.
That's wonderful you came
all the way back for the auction.
I wish. No, we're in New York
for a funeral. His grandpa.
- I wanted to come here. He
drove, but it was my idea. - Ah.
- I'm sorry for your loss.
- It's okay.
- His grandpa had a psycho family
in Germany. - Sophie, let's go.
I loved meeting you.
A real honor.
This douche is my affianced.
- Ah.
- We're engaged.
You're engaged?
It's not... "engaged" engaged.
Right. What?
We're back for a funeral. I would've called,
but you were touring with the company.
Yeah, right, I was,
but I needed a break...
and I thought
it would be so funny...
to come back to the college
for the summer.
It is funny.
In a great way.
And, yeah, just making
extra money doing this kind of gig.
Yeah.
What a slut!
- Are you okay? Do you need some food?
- I'll just eat this.
- I really didn't expect to see you.
- Ditto.
It's almost hard to be happy about it,
because I didn't have time to anticipate it.
Want to get out of here?
I can't.
I have to shadow
this woman.
She's my ward.
- [Sophie] I want to drive.
- [Patch] No, you're too fucked up.
- [Sophie] You're fucked up.
- No, I'm not. I drank fucking Perrier.
[Sophie]I'm not going beck to New York.
I don't want to go to the funeral tomorrow.
- You have to go! - I'm hanging out
with Frances. We're going to the mall.
- No, we're not.
- I'm bringing Frances to the funeral.
I don't want to go.
You didn't even know your grandpa.
You didn't hang out.
It's a funeral. It doesn't matter.
Get in the car!
If you're so broken up,
why did we go to the auction?
- You made me go!
- I don't want you here!
You were wasted!
And I wasn't going to let you drive.
- Goddamn it, Sophie!
- Frances, what do you think?
- About what?
- You don't need to answer.
- How sad were you really when
your grandpa died? - Pretty sad.
I wasn't, and I don't see why you should be.
Your grandpa was a cheating Nazi!
He was not a Nazi!
Take your feet off the dash!
Frances, where do you live?
- Chuggins.
- Is that a dorm?
- Yes.
- How the fuck do you get to Chuggins?
Oh, this is me, right up here.
My dorm.
Chuggins.
We never lived in this dorm.
I know.
It's like the life I never had.
Anyway...
congratulations
on your engagement.
And sorry for your loss.
You are so fucking selfish.
- Good night, Frances.
- Don't talk to her. Don't look at her.
- She's my friend. She doesn't
even like you. - I like you.
I like you too, Frances.
[Knock At Door]
Hey. Hey, come in.
- [Sophie] Can I stay?
- Of course.
Come. Stay.
[Utensils Rattling]
[Door Shuts]
It's made in the microwave,
but it's good.
Thank you.
I hope it's okay
I borrow loungewear.
- Of course.
- I think I'm gonna -
Oh! Okay, okay.
Here. Shit.
[Vomiting]
I'm sorry I was so drunk
I threw up.
I'm sorry I live in a dorm...
and have a single bed.
Here. You lay on the outside.
Okay.
Lay on your back
and put one foot on the floor.
It helps
if you have the spins.
I used to throw up all the time
when I was pregnant.
You were pregnant?
In Japan, for a few weeks.
And then I miscarried,
which was cool.
Wow.
That sounds crass.
Miscarriage is not cool.
- Would you have had it?
- No.
- Are you gonna marry Patch?
- No.
I can't believe that pregnant
is no longer crazy.
I don't want to stay in Tokyo.
I hate it there.
- Really?
- Yeah.
And then when I got pregnant,
I was just like, "Get me the fuck out. "
But your blog looks so happy.
I don't think my mom would read it
if it were about depression.
My mom would.
I was telling the truth.
I like Patch.
I don't hate him.
I know.
I'm sorry about -
It's just, if something funny happens
on the way to the deli...
you'll only tell one person,
and that'll be Patch...
and I'll never hear about it.
Fuck, I'm tired.
It's bedtime for all good children.
I want to leave Patch and leave Tokyo
and come back to New York.
- You should.
- I'm going to.
I could - I don't know.
I could - I could help you.
I was gonna say,
"You could live with me"...
but I don't have a home.
- I am going to do it.
- Fuck, yeah, girl.
I miss my job.
I miss old skyscrapers.
Maybe we'll move back to New York
at the same time and be like...
women who rediscover
themselves after a divorce.
- That's what my mom did.
- Oh, yeah. Sorry.
No. I think it'll be great.
We should get apartments
close to each other in Brooklyn.
Yeah.
That's what we'll do.
I've always felt
so competitive with you.
Really?
I don't think I realized
we were competitive.
- Fran?
- Yes?
Can you -
I know it's not my bed, but -
What?
Can you take off your socks?
Oh, yeah. Sure.
It's just, you know -
socks in bed.
Right. Gross.
I love you, Frances.
Good night.
I love you, Sophie.
Good night.
[Sophie's Voice]
F, I'm sorry I was so drunk last night...
but' thank you for being
nice to me, which I know...
...you were, even though
I don't remember it.
All I know is you don't have a trash can
this morning, so it must've been bad.
- [Door Shuts]
- Ha, ha. I love you.
I've got to get back
to this funeral in New York.
Call me when you're a wake.
My phone works in the States...
and there aren't
any charges or anything.
XOXO. Sophie.
Sophie!
Sophie!
Sophie! Sophie!
[Indistinct Conversations]
How can they be so nasty?
I'm sorry.
- Probably head back in about five.
- Yes, hi. This is Frances.
Yes, "Frances for tonight. "
[Chuckles]
Thanks.
I just wanted to double-check
that we're still...
...on for me bringing my
guys in a little early.
Okay. Great.
I'll see you in 30.
I think the other two groups
will be here by 6:45.
We'll be done by then.
Thanks.
- Hey!
- Good to see you.
Hi! Hi.
Thanks for coming.
Urn, over there.
[Indistinct]
[indistinct Conversation]
Then you guys rest for a second.
Can I see the two of you?
[People Applauding]
- Okay.
- Cue one...
into the master,
and you're all set.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
[Rhythmic Percussion]
[Flowing]
Yea!
Fuck you guys.
You got married.
- We did.
- What?
- Yeah.
- Hi.
[Indistinct Conversation]
Hey. That was great.
Oh, thanks, Ben.
I like things
that look like mistakes.
No, at times
it reminded me of -
Did you see the exhibit
at the Met...
about the textiles
that influenced Matisse?
That's what your piece
reminded me of-
not the paintings,
but the textiles.
- Hmm.
- Undateable.
- Me?
- No, I meant me that time.
Oh. Oh, yeah. Textiles.
Yeah, but also true.
Meaning I'm not dating anyone.
- Undateable. Same difference.
- Oh.
Are you really still, uh -
Are you undateable?
You mean, am I -
Oh. Oh, yes.
Yes. Very undateable.
It was so interesting,
and so you.
- Oh, thank you.
- To me it came right out.
[Frances]
I really appreciate that.
Yeah. It's a huge accomplishment.
it's a huge piece.
Yeah, I- I know.
It's a lot of people.
Thank you.
[Colleen]
It's just great.
I have to say, it just...
is so impressive to me.
Who - Who are you
making eyes at?
That's Sophie.
She's my best friend.
["Modern Love"]
I know when to go out...
or when to stay in.
Get things done.
I catch the paperboy
But things don't really change
I'm standing in the wind
But I never wave bye-bye
But I try
I try
There's no sign of life
It's just the power to charm
I'm lyin' in the rain
But I never wave bye-bye
But I try
I try
- Never gonna fall for
- Modern love
- Walks beside me
- Modern love
- Walks on by
- Modern love
Gets me
to the church on time
It's not really work
It's just the power to charm
I'm still standing in the wind
But I never wave bye-b ye
But I try
I try
- Never gonna fall for
- Modern love
- Walks beside me
- Modern love
- Walks on by
- Modern love
Gets me
to the church on time
- Church on time
- Terrifies me
- Church on time
- Makes me party
- Church on time
- Puts my trust in God and man
- God and man
- No confessions
- God and man
- No religion
- God and man
- Don't believe in modern love
- Modern love
- Walks beside me
- Modern love
- Walks on by!
- Modern love
- Gets me to the church on time
- Church on time
- Terrifies me
- Church on time
- Makes me party
- Church on time
- Puts my trust in God and man
- God and man
- No confessions
- God and man
- No religion
- God and man
- Don't believe in modern love
- Modern love
- Modern love
- Modern love
- Modern love
- Modern love
- Modern love
- Modern love
- Modern love
- Modern love
- Modern love
- Modern love
- Modern love
- Modern love
- Modern love