Fred: The Movie (2010) Movie Script
1
Hi, it's Fred.
Today is Friday.
Oh, my God! Say that fast
and it sounds like "Fred Day."
Friday, Fred Day, Friday, Fred Day.
Two whole days of no school and pure happiness.
Oh, my gosh! If they decided this weekend
to make the weekends the
week and the week the weekends,
that means we're going
to have five whole days off
and only two days of school.
Oh, my gammit. I'm so excited!
And then when there's a really important holiday,
like President's Day, we
only have one day of school.
I think they might decide
to do that this weekend!
Hey. Hi!
Hi! Hi!
Are you serious?
See you guys tomorrow. See you!
Yeah.
Hey!
You've never surfed before?
Judy.
Hmm. Judy.
Hey, hey!
Huh?
Judy.
Judy.
You might not have been able to tell,
but that girl I walked home with,
that hacking awesome girl, that's Judy.
Judy. She's my girlfriend, obviously.
This weekend, it's crucial
in our relationship because...
Wait for it, get ready, it's coming, hold on.
I'm taking things to the next level with Judy.
And she knows it, too.
We've been inseparable lately.
So, I was thinking of
having a party this weekend.
Yeah, we've been thinking about it.
But maybe I'll just have it next weekend.
Yeah, we aren't really sure yet.
What do you guys think?
I'm thinking I might have Judy over today.
I'm not really sure. I mean, my mom won't mind.
I have friends over all the
time and she never cares.
My dad doesn't care either,
mostly because he's not here.
He's not with us.
He's not dead. He's just not here.
I can see how you might have misunderstood that.
But, you know, it really doesn't even matter
that I just have one parent
because my mom loves me twice as much.
And I pay her back by filling the whole,
entire house with beautiful music.
Every room in my house was
constructed for a specific purpose.
For instance, this room, my bedroom,
was constructed to have a
perfect view of Judy's house.
Hi, Judy.
Fridays are usually my favorite day at school,
but I need some food for my body
because today was the worst Friday ever!
Leave me alone.
Oh, he likes it. He likes it. Mommy.
He likes it.
Thank you!
You want some more? Whoa!
Kevin, just leave him alone.
No.
If I don't get any food in my body,
then there's gonna be no blood in my head
and then my head might fall off
'cause there's no blood in it.
Oh, my gammit!
I'm so upset about what happened at
school that I almost ruined my snack.
Cheese.
I say, "Oh, my gammit," because
I'm not allowed to say bad words,
like the "D" word.
Anyhow, the thing that happened
happened in music class.
I love music class, because,
well, I'm a great singer.
You know who else is a great singer?
Fred
Judy.
She sings like an angel,
but like an angel who isn't
dead because she will never die.
She will live forever, until she dies.
No! Hot cheese! Hot cheese! Hot
cheese! Hot cheese! Hot cheese!
I burned my tongue!
Hot cheese! Hot cheese! Hot cheese!
I'm drowning.
Hot cheese.
I've decided not to have a snack after all
because I want to stay trim for Judy.
To be honest, me and Judy have
hit a minor bump in our relationship,
thanks to Kevin.
Kevin is a big, fat nothing!
And I cannot believe what I
saw her doing with him today.
Oh, my God! They sounded terrible!
It was like my mom trying to fit into her jeans.
Hmm.
Eenie, meenie, miney, moe.
There we go.
It was horrible, I mean,
and she didn't even notice it.
You agree, right? I mean, Judy
was up there and she seemed happy.
I don't know if she was acting
or what, but I have to tell her.
Maybe I'll invite her over for a pool party
and as we're lounging by the
pool, I'll break it to her gently.
Judy, lover, you are a wonderful singer.
Oh, thank you, Fred.
But singing with Kevin, that was a mistake.
I need someone like you to be honest with me.
Don't worry, darling.
I've just had a law passed that will have
Kevin arrested for the way he sang to you.
That's such a relief!
Stop! Stop! Stop!
Anyone ever sings to you like that again,
just tell me and I'll take care of it, darling.
You're so romantic, Fred.
Just beyond that wall over there is Judy's house.
She's only a few feet away
and I can't reach her.
They put up that wall to keep us apart.
What are you doing, Fred?
What does it look like I'm doing, Bertha?
Judy thinks it's silly that
you have a kiddy pool.
I don't care what Judy thinks.
Why would I care what Judy thinks?
What makes you think
that? I mean, it's just Judy.
Okay, you're not going swimming?
No, I'm not going...
That's lame. Really, really lame.
Well, I think I might go swimming.
Have fun! TTFN.
Oh, my God, that was almost so embarrassing!
Thank God I didn't invite
Judy over for the pool party.
Sometimes I think I don't
know anything about women.
I need some advice. I wish my dad was here.
Dad, what do you think I should do?
The secret is ruthless aggression.
It is?
You gotta look at yourself
and say, "My time is now!"
Show her what kind of man
you really are. Use those talents.
What are your talents, Fred?
-I am a good singer.
-No!
You're a great singer! You're the best!
It is you who take mere words
and make them melodious love.
Are you with me? Yes!
You've got to fire up! I'm with you, Dad.
Well, good. Just remember, it's
probably gonna get cold outside.
Bring a sweater, okay? Okay, Dad.
Thanks.
That's it! I've gotta invite Judy
over so we can harmonize together.
And then she'll forget all about Kevin
'cause harmonizing with
me will be so much smoother.
This is it! I'm gonna go over to Judy's house
and invite her over to sing with me.
I'm so excited!
I smell beautiful!
Nothing is going to come
between our love, Judy, nothing!
Oh, my gammit! Kevin!
I'm not going out there.
If I go out there and ask Judy
to come over in front of Kevin,
he's going to undermine my self-confidence.
Maybe he won't notice.
I've got to try!
Here I come to harmonize with you, Judy.
I'm gonna do it!
I can do it!
Hey, Figglehorn, where you going? Huh?
None of your business, Kevin.
Okay, what, are you going to
Judy's house for a little playdate, huh?
You gonna do...
Huh? You gonna do a little bit of that? Huh?
Kevin, that's not what I was gonna do, okay?
Dude, she hates you, man.
Why can't you just get that through your head,
dude? She hates you. She tells me all the time.
I mean, she came over yesterday,
and, like, dude, you know...
She hates you, Kevin.
I see how you misunderstood
it, because she hates you.
She doesn't hate me!
We're on a first-name basis.
Yeah, she hates everyone who can't sing, Kevin.
I can sing.
This whole neighborhood knows, you know?
You know? The whole
neighborhood knows I can sing.
I can sing, dude!
I mean, she hears me all the time, man!
I'm perfect. I got perfect pitch!
I've been told since day
one I have perfect pitch!
Man, I could reach... I
could reach all the notes.
That's weird because I overheard Judy saying
that she thinks you suck at singing.
Oh, you're going to get it!
You're gonna get it, Figglehorn!
You want some of this? She said it.
I didn't. You want it?
This is my cul-de-sac!
It always has been and it always will be, baby!
I can't believe that idiot,
Kevin, ruined everything!
I was so close.
Oh, my gosh! Kevin is
trying to get inside the house.
Fred. Go home, Kevin!
Figglehorn!
Get away from my house! Hey!
I will call the police! Fred!
I'm calling the police right now!
Figglehorn!
I already called the police and
they said that if you don't stop,
you're going to go to prison
with the fattest people ever!
Fred, open the door!
Oh.
Mom! Sorry.
You're strong.
Fred, what's going on in here?
Mom, I thought someone was gonna attack me.
Although, I don't know why anyone would want to.
Maybe because of your voice!
Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!
What, sweetie?
I'm going to have a friend
over so we can sing, okay?
Honey, no singing.
I'm taking a nap.
Mom, we'll be quiet.
Can't hear you. I'm taking a nap.
Kevin!
I can't go over there and ask Judy to my house
with Kevin out there.
He'll embarrass me.
Judy has such a beautiful Southern accent.
I know it would harmonize perfectly
with my normal human accent.
I don't know what to do.
What's wrong with you? Have I taught you nothing?
Dad!
No son of mine is going to sit here and hide
from Kevin!
Yeah! My house!
Sorry, kid.
I don't want Kevin to make
fun of me in front of Judy.
Make fun of you?
Sometimes you don't use these
muscles, you use this muscle.
You gotta out-think Kevin.
You gotta find another route.
Dad, the only other route is blocked by the wall.
The wall is nothing. It was put there
to keep you and your true love apart.
I knew it.
I am taking a nap.
I knew it.
My time is now!
Your time is now.
My time is now! Your time is now.
My time is now!
Time-out. Time-out, now.
Oh!
Sorry, Dad.
It's good.
You're ready.
Thanks, Dad.
Before you go...
A little schmutz.
Once I get over that wall,
I can go up to Judy's back
door and ask her to come over.
I've never even seen Judy's
back door, but I bet it's really nice.
I'm going to use this to make
a flying leap over the fence.
And then me and Judy are gonna walk
back over to my house, really proudly.
And then Kevin is gonna be all confused
and he won't be able to do anything.
And then we'll be back into my
house before he even knows it.
And this is the trampoline,
and I got it for my mom.
She uses it to train for work.
I'll bet you Kevin never
would have thought of this.
Stupid Kevin!
Kiss this, Kevin!
Here I come, Judy!
I'm coming, Judy. Just hold on.
Fred, are you okay?
I hurt myself while trying to get to Judy's.
Do you need to go to the hospital?
No, I don't think so.
Then I'm taking a nap!
This is better, much less dangerous.
Digging is hard.
I'm coming for you, Judy, just hold on!
Don't give up.
I've been digging in the tunnel
All hacking day
Okay.
Going back down.
It takes forever to get to
Judy's house underground.
Oh!
What's this?
Mom!
Awesome!
Oh, my gammit, that was awesome!
I'm coming, Judy. I have butt-loads of energy.
Here I come.
I'm here.
Oh, my gammit! I dug all the way to China!
I figured out what I'm going to
do. I'm gonna disguise myself.
Kevin will never recognize me.
He'll be totally fooled and I'll walk up
to Judy's door and rip off my disguise
and she'll think it's a joke and
then she'll laugh and then I'll laugh
and then we'll both be laughing.
Mmm! I'm gonna smell like green apples.
I have the perfect disguise. I ordered
it from the back of a comic book
and it is amazing.
It's an invisibility suit and it's
gonna make me completely invisible.
Here it is. I've been waiting to use this.
Whoa!
See you guys later.
Wow, that was totally worth $6.98,
plus shipping and handling.
Huh?
What's going on here?
Where am I, Kevin?
I'm here! Whoa!
No, I'm not. I'm over here.
Think fast.
What? Watch out.
Jesus!
What are you gonna do, Kevin?
Where are you? Behind you.
What's over here?
Oh, oh, oh.
Does baby want the ball? Watch out!
Stop! Are you gonna cry?
Does baby Kevin need his mommy?
Here goes nothing.
Oh, my gosh! It's such a weird feeling.
Floating shoe.
Who's doing it?
I don't know. Must be someone invisible.
What the heck?
Okay. Maybe I just didn't do it right.
One, two, three.
Gammit!
I guess I have to find a better disguise.
Mmm-hmm.
Oh! Ooh!
Boy, do I wish I could pull that one off.
Wait, what?
What?
Judy, I'm here! Is that Fred?
I'm gonna get you!
Oh, my gammit! Asian people kidnapped Judy.
What do I do? I've got to
call the police, and the cops,
and the FBI, the CIA and the FBI,
and the Army, and the cops and the SWAT team.
And... I don't even have an emergency
number. I don't know who to call.
I don't even know a number to call.
That's who I have to call.
9-1-1, what's your emergency?
Hello, this is Fred, Fred Figglehorn.
And I'm here to tell you
that my girlfriend, Judy,
has been kidnapped by Asian people.
Asian people have stolen my
girlfriend and her stuff and her family.
Sir... Although, if you ask her
if she's my girlfriend and she
says no, it's because we haven't
told a lot of people yet
and we were kind of keeping it on the down-low,
you know, people will be jealous, you know?
Anyways, she's gone!
Sir, you need to calm down.
Calm down?
Hello?
That is really frustrating that
the police won't even help me.
Her kidnappers could be anywhere by now.
She's going to have such a horrible life!
Fred, what is your problem?
Mom! Mom, wake up! Wake up right now!
I am up.
Mom, Judy has been kidnapped.
They took all of her stuff! She
might be dead! I don't even know!
What are you talking about?
Her house, it's completely empty.
Maybe that's because they moved.
What?
They sold their house to
the Tangs and they moved.
Got their address right here.
They asked me to forward
their mail. I'll get it to them.
Judy moved?
Where to?
I don't know. They asked
me to forward the mail. I...
Why didn't you tell me?
Because Freddie, I...
I didn't know you'd be so
upset. I wrote the address.
Mom! She's my girlfriend!
Judy. Freddie.
I'm getting their mail, I'm tossing it.
All right, honey, relax. I'm going out.
Be a good boy. You're a good boy.
Judy moved!
Judy moved away
I'm so in love, it hurts so much
Freddie, please, go to sleep!
My heart is broken and
my mom doesn't even care
Fred!
It's go time!
Dad! What's wrong?
It's Judy, she's been kidnapped by kidnappers.
Kidnappers? Who are they?
Her parents.
No!
Luckily, in the final minutes,
she sent us a transmission.
Check it out. It's right there.
That's classified.
Pay no attention to that. The transmission!
Oh, Fred! Judy!
There's so much that I wanted to say to you,
or sing to you or sing with you.
That's all I've ever wanted. You've
always known that to be true, right?
Yes, Judy! Yes!
I knew you did.
Okay, Judy, listen carefully.
Yes, Fred?
You are under a bed right now.
No! Judy, no!
Relax. We are going to rescue her.
Hey, hey, hey! Why don't
you have your seat belt on?
Oh! Sorry, Dad.
I hope Mom doesn't get worried
if she notices I'm not home
in the middle of the night.
She knows exactly where you are.
I've got your mail right here.
Take that!
Don't mess with my son!
What a crazy dream!
I think I know what it means.
I got it! Judy wants me to come find her.
We have a psychic connection.
And the dream is the only way she
could possibly communicate with me.
I found Judy's address on
this map. 56 Meadow Lane.
Sounds beautiful, doesn't it? Meadow.
I wonder what Judy's house looks like.
Whoa! It's nice, geez!
If I zoom in, I wonder if I can see her.
Zoom, zoom, zoom
Ew!
That must be the guy who lived
there before her. Oh! That is sick!
He pooped inside her bathroom.
The ghosts of that guy's poops will
be inside Judy's bathroom forever.
What if they come back to life, huh?
I have got to get Judy out of that house.
There's only one problem,
the woods.
I have to avoid the woods.
I have to. I mean, I'd be way
too scared to go back in there
after what happened
to little Evan Weiss.
I'll get it!
Little Evan Weiss,
he never came out of those woods, never, scary.
9-1-1, what's your emergency?
I need to know what bus to take
from my house to Judy's
house, avoiding the woods.
Sir, I think you meant to dial 4-1-1.
This line is for emergencies only.
This is an emergency!
Judy moved away and I have to get to her house
so I can invite her over to my
house so we can sing together.
Sir, please dial 4-1-1.
Rude.
Turns out that there's a bus that takes me
exactly one block from Judy's new address.
It's called the Number 7 bus.
I have no idea how long it's gonna
take me to get to Judy's house.
So, I'm just preparing for the worst.
I mean, it could take days, weeks.
Will I need ketchup?
Probably not, but it could
be dangerous out there.
I'm coming for you, Judy!
Oh, God!
I hate ketchup!
Should be enough.
I didn't know how much
the bus costs, so I took $25.
Well, here I go.
Wish me luck.
What? It might rain.
Judy.
I'm gonna do it. I can do this.
Hey, Figglehorn! Where you going?
None of your business, Kevin.
What? Are you going to a
butt-face convention? Huh?
I'm just gonna ignore you.
Well, you're not ignoring me
because you just talked to me.
What happened to your arm, Kevin?
Did you make a fake cast so
everyone would feel sorry for you?
No, it's not fake. Actually,
some guys tried to steal my bike
and I beat 'em up.
But it doesn't even matter because
five girls already signed it, so...
Why did they all use the same pen?
Because girls like the color red!
I bet God pushed him down
because he hates the way he sings.
What did you say?
I never said anything. I'm ignoring you, Kevin.
Then why do you keep talking to me, Figglehorn?
Where are you going, anyway?
Why do you care? I'm not gonna tell you.
All right, then.
I'll just follow you all the way
there. How would you like that?
Well, I'm here.
You have to take the bus? That is so lame, man.
I have girls take me where I want to go.
I have a girl.
Oh, yeah? Who? My mom.
Oh, my God, man! Is anybody listening to this?
You're such a loser, dude!
Where are you going? Huh?
Where are you going? Huh?
Where are you going, Fred?
Where are you going, Figglehorn? Huh?
Where are you going? Is that your bus, Fred?
I'm not talking to you, Kevin!
Is that your bus?
Are you going to get on the bus?
Ain't got all day here.
I know! I know where you're going.
All right. Where am I going?
Buck and a half.
Um...
Come on, kid. I got a schedule to keep here.
Here's five.
You can keep the change.
Hi.
I think I'll sit back here.
Uh-oh.
I'm supposed to be on the Number 7 bus.
This is the Number 6 bus.
This is the Number 6 bus.
I know, but if Kevin knew all the
bus routes and where they were going
and if I got on the right bus,
he would know where I was actually going.
So, by getting on the wrong
bus he would never know
I was actually going to Judy's house.
Dude, please. Chill out.
Sorry. I'm just really excited.
I'm Fred. Fred Figglehorn.
Derf.
Dude, don't. That's lame.
Oh, right, I knew that.
So, who's Judy? Does she
have a sister or something?
She's my girlfriend.
No, she's not.
What?
Judy is not your girlfriend.
You're right. How did you know?
Lie detectors.
Cool!
It's just Judy is such a smoking-hot babe.
And just every time I see her, I just tingle.
She makes you pee?
I said "tingle" not "tinkle."
Dude, take a joke.
I guess I'm a little weird.
Everybody is weird, man.
All of us.
What's that supposed to mean?
Don't think about it too much.
It means something, though. Just process it.
Wow! You're like a god, Derf!
I know.
I wish I could be that cool around Judy.
She's the most hacking awesome girl, ever!
Yeah, we're for sure to get married,
but obviously it's not going to be tomorrow.
Although, I mean, I wouldn't mind that.
The best day of sixth grade
would have to be when Judy and I
were assigned into the same math group,
Green For Go, because it was the advanced group.
The worst day would have to be the next day,
when the teacher realized I wasn't
supposed to be in the green group
and whacked me really hard
on the knuckles with a ruler.
You know, we're a really good, like, duo.
Like, we're really good together.
End of the line!
Huh?
End of the line!
You're gonna kill us?
No, it means you gotta get off.
Oh!
Well, it was nice meeting you... Derf? Derf?
Oh!
That's odd.
Oh, my gammit!
Slide, slide.
Slide, slide.
Fred? What are you doing?
Bertha!
I asked you a question.
Are you dong-e-a-fong?
No! No, no. Not at all.
What's "dong-e-a-fong"? Deaf.
You add "ong" to each consonant. Dong-e-a-fong.
What are you doing here?
Bertha, I can come to the pool
if I wong-a-nong-tong.
Yeah?
Well, I've never seen you here before
and you're not wearing a swimsuit.
This is my swimming suit. I
mean, sometimes I just don't like
showing my body too much because, you know,
it's too much sex appeal.
Cute.
How come nobody's here?
You're, like, the only one.
Some kid pooped in the pool.
Ew!
The good thing is now
there's no line for the slide.
I have to go, anyway.
Yeah, okay, sure.
I'm going to my friend's house. Girlfriend.
Before you go, do you want to try something cool?
Pretty fun, isn't it?
It's really fun!
My neck is hot but my feet are cold!
But what if I have to go to the bathroom?
Don't be a wong-i-mong-pong.
Well, I'm going swimming. Later!
I'm not a wimp!
Mmm!
Help! Somebody help her.
I think she's drowning.
No, no, Judy!
I'm trapped. Just wait one second, Judy!
Fred! Judy!
Judy! I'll save you!
Hey, bro! I got it!
Get out of the way! Get
out of the way! Move it, punk!
Judy, I'll save you!
Whoo!
Love won't keep you guys together.
You guys don't love each other!
Why are you guys singing together?
Judy, Judy, I thought we were
gonna take it to the next level.
No! No!
Oh, my gammit! Oh, my
gammit! I've got to get going.
I've got to get to Judy's house!
So, did you get the poop
out of the pool, yet? No?
Hey, Fred! You can't show up
at Judy's house looking like that.
She's gonna make fun of you!
How did you know I was going to Judy's house?
I didn't until just now.
So long, dong-o-o-fong-u-song.
What are you doing? You can't be naked in here.
I was going to leave my underwear on.
Yeah, well, nobody wants
to see you in your underwear.
I beg to differ. I've been told
my body's pretty attractive.
Uh-huh
Yeah
Uh-huh
Yeah Uh-huh
Yeah Uh-huh
No Yeah Uh-huh
No Yeah Uh-huh
No Yeah Uh-huh
No Yeah Uh-huh
No Yeah
Get your butt out of here.
I'd like a regular cleaning.
Would you like a fragrance?
Green apples.
Green apples?
Can I get a green apples, please?
Will you watch my bag for me?
Where's your car?
That was awesome.
Get out of the road!
Sorry.
Nice hair, moron!
Oh, geez!
Oh, my God! They sell
squirrels! I love squirrels!
Customer! Squirrels!
I'm busy. And I'm grooming Lancelot.
And you're useless.
Yes, young man?
Oh! Hey. I was just looking at the squirrels.
We don't have squirrels. You
might want to go to a park or outside.
We do have hamsters, though.
They're in the rodent family if
you want to take a look at them.
Um, I saw the squirrels and I just thought that
they'd be the perfect present for Judy, so...
Look. I don't know her
and I don't care to know her.
We can't help you, but
presents are nice. I enjoy them.
Gary! Gary!
The young man believes
the Pomeranians are squirrels.
I knew that. I don't think you did.
Excuse me! Yeah?
Come with me. Now, by
squirrels, do you mean this?
Yep! How much are they?
$795.
Oh, okay. Lorenzo, can you ring us up? $795.
$795? That's how much my mom makes a year!
That is ridiculous!
Never mind, Lorenzo! He's broke.
Okay. Well, I'm just gonna be looking around.
So, don't even... Don't even mind me.
I won't.
I won't even be here, I'll be leaving soon.
Get in there. Yeah.
I've been wanting one of these for a while now.
What are you doing?
What are you talking about?
Put the dog down.
Dog? Squirrel.
Put the dog down.
Squirrel.
I don't have a dog, you psycho.
My God, Gary! He's a gang banger! This is Mace!
I will spray you. No!
I will spray you in the eyes!
Lorenzo, what are you doing with Mace?
Someone has to protect us.
This is not the time for your drama, okay?
Put the dog back. I will do it myself.
I don't have a dog!
Lady, clear out! Put the dog back.
It's not a dog!
Spray him, he's got crazy in his eyes.
Stop. Put the dog back.
Leave me alone! Put the dog back!
Spray him! Just spray him!
Don't tell me what to do!
Gary! Look what you've made us do!
My beautiful eyes!
Tell your friends not to mess with us!
This is worse than when you
made me stay at the Marriott!
I'm sorry.
Oh! Hey, sir. Do you know how
to get to Meadow Lane from here?
What?
I can't understand you. I'm sorry.
Oh, my God! There's something wrong with me.
Why is there a voice in my head
that doesn't even make sense?
Are you a spaceman? Is that what you are?
You're doing something to me,
aren't you? You're gonna ruin my brain!
Get away from me, spaceman.
I will not let you ruin my brain!
Dam!
Dam, indeedy! Oh!
Hey, watch that cussing. I'm just
playing. It's a dam, it's what it is.
I was just looking.
Good for you. You should look. Soak her in.
Soak in all the dam beauty. I tell you what.
She's the single greatest feat of
engineering in the entire county.
Hey, you know what this
dam is made out of, don't you?
No. Sweat and ingenuity, friend.
Sweat and ingenuity.
Do you know how to get to the Number 7 bus?
Oh, the Number 7 bus, well,
it's just a quick, little jaunt
through the woods right there.
The woods!
Oh, no, no, no.
Don't be scared. Don't be scared of the woods.
You're not scared of the woods, are you?
I have to walk through the woods?
There's nothing to be afraid of in the woods,
except for what happened
to little Evan Weiss.
But if you're scared, I'll
tell you what you can do.
You can just turn around and
just go home. Be home with Mama.
Yeah, that's a good idea. Mama.
Mama. Mama.
Mama. Mama.
"Mama, save me!"
"I'm a big, grown baby who needs his mama!"
What's wrong with you? You
know what I'd do if I were you?
I'd man up! I'd face my
fears. I'd BS. I'd be somebody.
That's me. Who are you?
Man up, man! Head into those woods.
Face your fears. Do what I'd do.
Look at the... Respect the badge!
You're right. You're definitely right.
I should go through the woods.
There you go.
Judy needs me right now.
Do it for Judy.
It's just the woods. It's just the woods.
It's no big deal. Go on.
I'm going to do it!
Run! Run to Judy. Run to her!
No running in the dam!
Okay.
I'm okay. Good.
It's okay. It's okay. It's okay, Fred.
Maybe if I sing, I'll feel better
This place isn't so nice
I never wanted to come back here
because of little Evan Weiss
I like your song.
You're a good singer.
Mmm-hmm.
You should thank someone for a compliment.
What's wrong?
Well, you're talking! You're
talking and you're a deer!
Oh! For a minute there, I thought
there was a wolf or something.
Whoo! You scared me.
Do all deers talk?
It's deer.
Do all "deer" talk? The
plural of deer is still deer.
Just like moose. Nobody says "mooses" or "meese."
Do you all talk?
Some of us way too much.
Hey, can I drop one with you?
Drop what?
A song.
Really? Okay.
Walking through the woods
but there was nothing to fear
Since I met my friend, the deer
That's me
Stop! Hoofer time! Mmm.
You know, I don't even know why I've
always been so terrified of the woods.
I mean, now that I've actually came here,
I realize it's not even that scary.
I'm out of here.
I mean, the woods has got trees,
deer, birds. I mean, there's just so much to it.
I mean, it's more than just, it's...
Fred!
It's me! Evan! Evan Weiss!
I got it!
Got what?
The ball! I got the ball! I got it.
Tell my parents I'm okay!
Oh! Hey. Look, it's your little friend.
Hey, Figglehorn! Do you need
a ride? Do you need a ride?
What an idiot! Mom, drive around the block.
I'm not your chauffeur. Mom!
Hey, nice lean-to!
One more.
Kevin, no. I am drawing the line.
I'm gonna tell Dad.
Don't tell him.
What is that?
Derf! How'd you get here?
Dude, my question needs to be answered first.
Sardines.
Lunch fail, man.
I know. I don't actually like
them, but when I packed my food
I forgot to pack a can opener
and this is the only can that
had a handy little opener on it.
And I've been walking all over,
so I'm really tired and I just got so hungry!
You've got to chill out, man.
I'm going to bed. Will you
wake me when the bus comes?
Maybe,
but maybe not.
Bus, man.
Thanks, Derf! You're, like,
the best friend I've ever had.
Just kidding, obviously.
I'm doing it! Wish me luck.
I'm going to Judy's house!
Ugh.
You want it?
Do you want it?
Excuse me?
I found this poor little animal
wandering around all by himself.
A squirrel! It's a squirrel. I'll take it.
This is my lucky day. Oh!
Me and Judy will be your new
parents and we'll love you forever.
Meadow Lane!
Oh, my gammit, we're here!
You're gonna see your mama.
Here we go.
Judy!
Yes!
Judy.
Mom, I hate it here. I want to
move back to our old house.
Stop complaining!
Hello, miss.
Who are you?
Fred!
It's me!
I knew you'd come for me!
You got my psychic message.
I did.
I brought you a gift, Judy.
A squirrel. I love squirrels.
Thank you.
It's nothing.
However did you get here?
It must have been so hard!
It was! I crossed the entire
city to get to you, Judy,
even the woods.
You went through the woods?
They're so dangerous. I've been
worried about the wild animals.
I wasn't afraid of the wild
animals, but I was afraid
of little Evan Weiss.
He's alive?
He's very alive.
Oh, my God. I'm so impressed
with you. You came all this way.
But why?
To see you, Judy,
and to invite you over to my house.
Oh, I'd love to come over to your house,
to sing.
Do
Re
Mi
Fa
So
La
La
La
La, La, La, La La, La, La, La
Are you coming or ain't ya? Can't believe...
Oh, my God! The bus!
Judy!
Judy, I'm here.
Fred?
Where's... Where's Judy?
Oh, my God. Guys, it's Fred!
What are you doing here, Fred?
I think I could ask you the same question, Kevin.
Uh, no, you can't, 'cause I
was invited and you weren't.
So, get out, dude!
This isn't even your house, Kevin.
You can't just tell me to leave.
What are all you guys doing in here anyway?
I mean, are you just creeping
around Judy's house or something?
What's it look like? It's a party.
Yeah, it's a party! That you weren't invited to!
Well, for your guys' information,
Judy would be happy to have me here.
I call her every night.
Oh, my God. What a loser.
Judy. Fred.
Please tell me you didn't
invite Figglehorn to this party!
What are you doing here?
Don't you want to hear about
how I got here? It's a crazy story.
Fred, I'm kind of in the middle of my party.
I think she just told you to leave, man!
Maybe you shouldn't be here.
Judy? You're right.
Maybe I shouldn't be here
because, no offense to you,
Judy, but this party is so lame!
This isn't lame. This is a good party.
Yeah. Now it is.
Now it is!
This is so embarrassing, Fred.
Judy, why are you being like this?
Oh, my God. I can't do this.
Judy, who are you?
Where's the Judy I know? Huh?
Show me her. Show me the old Judy.
Fred, I think it would
be better if you just left.
I'm really sorry, Fred.
Judy, I've came all this way just for you!
This isn't a Girl Scout convention.
We don't want any of your cookies.
We don't want any of your cookies.
Kevin!
Take a look at that! He puked on her.
That is disgusting! Oh, my gosh.
Fred! Fred, wait!
Dude, you got to send that to
me. You got to send that to me...
I got it! I got it!
Hey, kid, you lost or something?
Kind of.
Where are you going?
Home.
All right. My shift's over.
Get in and I'll take you.
But I don't have another $5 bill.
Get in.
Thanks. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Pays to tip.
Take care, kid.
Thanks.
Don't. That's lame.
Oh.
That was so humiliating!
I can't believe Judy had a
party and didn't even invite me!
She's not who I thought she was at all!
I bet you that Southern
accent of hers isn't even real.
She's probably never even been to the South.
Freddie, honey, who are you talking to?
Mom? Mom! I'm really upset right now.
Well, one of your friends just sent
me a video about you on the computer.
About me?
Yeah. You got to check it out.
Oh, my God!
Oh, my gammit! This is so embarrassing!
Forty-seven people have seen this already?
That's more than my entire class!
Fifty-one people now. Fifty-one.
That's like three more people
than last time! Who posted this?
KevSmellMyFart?
Kevin! Ugh! What a stupid username,
and an even more stupid video!
Why do people even want to
watch other people on YouTube?
It's weird! It's creepy!
I don't get it. I just don't.
Oh, my gosh! Another person just watched it!
And another! Oh my gosh!
In 60 seconds, 60 people will
have seen this! This is horrible!
Imagine how many people
will have seen it in a year!
Well, I'm not going to stand for this. No, no.
I'm going to have a party,
and no one's gonna be invited.
Hi, Fred.
Hi, Mrs. Libo. Is Kevin here?
Oh! He is! Come on in!
Kevin! Your friend is here.
Mom, I'm in the crapper.
Kevin!
I'm sorry.
Where's the toilet paper?
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who invited Figglehorn here?
I did. Kevin, be polite.
It's okay.
Kevin, I'm having a party
tonight. That's why I came over.
See, Kevin?
Yeah, it's going to be awesome!
There's going to be lots of
games and food and music,
and we're going to do a lot of illegal stuff.
Kids our age can't do it,
but we're gonna do it anyway.
What? It's gonna be great!
That sounds like fun! All right.
Okay.
Here.
I met your father at a party.
Mom. That's disgusting. Come on.
What is this?
Your dis-invitation. I'm having
a party, and you can't come.
I'm so... I'm trying to get it...
I have to go right now because there's a lot
of other people I have to dis-invite to my party.
Oh, what a sweet kid.
Yeah, I'm glad you're friends.
I'm not friends with him.
You should be because he seems popular.
Mom, I'm not even friends with him.
I would be because he's popular.
Mom, I'm not friends with him!
Stop touching my hat!
Oh gosh, right. Don't touch the hat.
Just wanted to make sure you
knew you weren't invited. Bye.
Oh! Looks like you got my message
that you're not invited to my party! Sucker!
And I asked everyone, and they
all specifically said you weren't cool,
so here you go.
One for you and one for you. Both not invited!
Hey, guys!
Just wanted to let you guys
know that I was having a party,
but you're not invited!
What's up, moron?
Bertha, hi.
Hi, Fred, what's up?
Not much.
No? Just hanging.
Okay. I saw that video of you online.
It's so funny, isn't it? Everyone saw it.
I'm not stupid, I know. I get it. I'm over it.
Anyways, here. You're not invited to my party.
I never was gonna invite you anyway. See you.
It's gonna be fun without you.
I didn't think that video was funny.
Are you serious? I was all...
And then Kevin was like "Oh,
let's throw a piece of pizza at him."
"So funny." But you weren't
laughing, were you? No.
No. I wasn't invited to Judy's party.
You weren't?
Well, I don't know. I guess I just assumed.
Well, anyways, I'm going to go
get ready for my party. So, see you.
Okay. Have fun.
Bertha! Bertha?
Um...
Would you maybe want to...
Like, you could just come and
party maybe, just for a little bit?
You don't have to stay the whole time,
but do you want to come, maybe?
Okay.
Really?
Yeah. I like partying. I'm a good partier.
Okay! Well, if you come, bring a lot of clothes.
Just bring everything you got, okay?
What... Do I just... I can just
bring anything? It doesn't matter?
A ton. A ton of clothes. Your
mom's, your dad's, everyone's.
Do it now. Do it now, now, now, now!
Okay, I'll see you in a minute. Okay. Bye.
Did you get that? I got it.
Hey, Fred! What's going on here?
Nothing.
What are you doing with the camera?
We're having a party!
Did we talk about you having a party?
No, sorry.
How many people did you invite?
A hundred, 150?
You got a lot of friends, Fred.
Bye.
That's good. That's real good.
Nice one.
What time is it?
Huh? Uh, I'm almost done. Hold on.
Almost there.
Finally! I'm done with this video.
It's going to be so awesome.
Let me tell you. Everyone at my
school is going to be so jealous.
But what if they think it's
fake? That won't be good.
I mean, they'll think I'm
even a bigger loser. So...
You know what? I'm going to send it right now.
I'm taking the risk. Here I go.
No, no. Everyone will think you're a loser, no.
I'm doing it! Why should I
even care what they think?
Fred, send it, send it, send it!
No, Fred. Don't send it!
Send it! Send it, Fred!
What should I do? What should
I do? I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do. What
should I do? What should I do?
Oh, my gammit! I sent it!
This party is off the hook.
I wanted to make it to Fred's party,
but my girl didn't want to go.
I like to party, she don't like
to party. I like to break it down.
I will be at the next one.
Oh. It was an epic fail
of me not to go to Fred's.
I mean, I wasn't invited,
but I'm sure it's because I wasn't
around when he was inviting people.
I've been out sick.
A lot.
I would totally go out with Fred,
but Judy's, like, my best friend
and I would never do that to her.
I was at Fred's house, and, like...
And we, like, hurled together.
I mean, we crossed hurl.
I don't care that I wasn't invited to
Fred's party, you know. I don't care.
I don't care at all. I don't. I really don't.
I don't know why everyone's asking me that.
Who was there?
Best party ever, right?
Boys, quit staring.
Where are my friends? Where did my friends go?
Hey, guys! Guys!
Whoo! Hey. That was some party.
Hey, mister. Aren't you supposed to be in school?
Hi, Mom.
You sure know how to throw a little party.
Yeah, it was over yesterday.
Yeah? Did your girlfriend, Judy, show up?
Mom. No, she didn't. She's
not my girlfriend, anyway.
Hey, listen. So what? She's
probably just playing hard to get.
There'll be others knocking your doorstep down.
She'll be lucky to have you as a boyfriend
because you're good-looking,
because you're a Figglehorn.
I am a Figglehorn, Mom. Thanks.
Anyway, keep getting their family's
mail. Who does she think she is?
I thought you said you're
going to toss all the mail, Mom.
Yeah, well, I'm a big talker.
What you... Nice house.
Yeah, it's Judy's house.
Is that the house where you hurled?
Mmm-hmm.
Hey, I know that guy.
It's Danny Jennety.
Ew!
How do you know him?
We had a date once.
When was that?
That was about, I don't know, 15 years ago?
I'm 15.
I'm taking a nap.
You just got up, Mom.
Yeah, well, whatever. I'm taking a nap.
Dad! What are you doing here?
Taking a nap.
Judy! Hi, Fred.
You're tall.
Oh. It's the shoes.
You weren't at school
today. I hope you're not sick.
I'm not sick. I'm not sick at all.
Were you taking a nap then?
No.
Why are you wearing your pajamas?
These aren't pajamas. They're loungewear.
Oh.
What do you want?
I wanted to see you, Fred.
Really?
I really wanted to apologize.
I just feel like I've been really mean,
and I should've invited you to my party.
I'm really sorry.
Don't worry. I'm totally over it.
I totally deserved to be barfed all over.
Want me to do it again?
Gross.
Apology accepted.
Thank you.
So, can I come in?
Like, into my house?
I just thought we could hang out.
And do what?
I don't know.
Um...
I thought we could sing together.
Sing? Me and you, like, together? Singing?
Just hold on one second, okay?
Sure.
Ahhhh!
Oh, yeah, dude. Rock on!
Won't you come in?
Thank you.
---oOo---
Hi, it's Fred.
Today is Friday.
Oh, my God! Say that fast
and it sounds like "Fred Day."
Friday, Fred Day, Friday, Fred Day.
Two whole days of no school and pure happiness.
Oh, my gosh! If they decided this weekend
to make the weekends the
week and the week the weekends,
that means we're going
to have five whole days off
and only two days of school.
Oh, my gammit. I'm so excited!
And then when there's a really important holiday,
like President's Day, we
only have one day of school.
I think they might decide
to do that this weekend!
Hey. Hi!
Hi! Hi!
Are you serious?
See you guys tomorrow. See you!
Yeah.
Hey!
You've never surfed before?
Judy.
Hmm. Judy.
Hey, hey!
Huh?
Judy.
Judy.
You might not have been able to tell,
but that girl I walked home with,
that hacking awesome girl, that's Judy.
Judy. She's my girlfriend, obviously.
This weekend, it's crucial
in our relationship because...
Wait for it, get ready, it's coming, hold on.
I'm taking things to the next level with Judy.
And she knows it, too.
We've been inseparable lately.
So, I was thinking of
having a party this weekend.
Yeah, we've been thinking about it.
But maybe I'll just have it next weekend.
Yeah, we aren't really sure yet.
What do you guys think?
I'm thinking I might have Judy over today.
I'm not really sure. I mean, my mom won't mind.
I have friends over all the
time and she never cares.
My dad doesn't care either,
mostly because he's not here.
He's not with us.
He's not dead. He's just not here.
I can see how you might have misunderstood that.
But, you know, it really doesn't even matter
that I just have one parent
because my mom loves me twice as much.
And I pay her back by filling the whole,
entire house with beautiful music.
Every room in my house was
constructed for a specific purpose.
For instance, this room, my bedroom,
was constructed to have a
perfect view of Judy's house.
Hi, Judy.
Fridays are usually my favorite day at school,
but I need some food for my body
because today was the worst Friday ever!
Leave me alone.
Oh, he likes it. He likes it. Mommy.
He likes it.
Thank you!
You want some more? Whoa!
Kevin, just leave him alone.
No.
If I don't get any food in my body,
then there's gonna be no blood in my head
and then my head might fall off
'cause there's no blood in it.
Oh, my gammit!
I'm so upset about what happened at
school that I almost ruined my snack.
Cheese.
I say, "Oh, my gammit," because
I'm not allowed to say bad words,
like the "D" word.
Anyhow, the thing that happened
happened in music class.
I love music class, because,
well, I'm a great singer.
You know who else is a great singer?
Fred
Judy.
She sings like an angel,
but like an angel who isn't
dead because she will never die.
She will live forever, until she dies.
No! Hot cheese! Hot cheese! Hot
cheese! Hot cheese! Hot cheese!
I burned my tongue!
Hot cheese! Hot cheese! Hot cheese!
I'm drowning.
Hot cheese.
I've decided not to have a snack after all
because I want to stay trim for Judy.
To be honest, me and Judy have
hit a minor bump in our relationship,
thanks to Kevin.
Kevin is a big, fat nothing!
And I cannot believe what I
saw her doing with him today.
Oh, my God! They sounded terrible!
It was like my mom trying to fit into her jeans.
Hmm.
Eenie, meenie, miney, moe.
There we go.
It was horrible, I mean,
and she didn't even notice it.
You agree, right? I mean, Judy
was up there and she seemed happy.
I don't know if she was acting
or what, but I have to tell her.
Maybe I'll invite her over for a pool party
and as we're lounging by the
pool, I'll break it to her gently.
Judy, lover, you are a wonderful singer.
Oh, thank you, Fred.
But singing with Kevin, that was a mistake.
I need someone like you to be honest with me.
Don't worry, darling.
I've just had a law passed that will have
Kevin arrested for the way he sang to you.
That's such a relief!
Stop! Stop! Stop!
Anyone ever sings to you like that again,
just tell me and I'll take care of it, darling.
You're so romantic, Fred.
Just beyond that wall over there is Judy's house.
She's only a few feet away
and I can't reach her.
They put up that wall to keep us apart.
What are you doing, Fred?
What does it look like I'm doing, Bertha?
Judy thinks it's silly that
you have a kiddy pool.
I don't care what Judy thinks.
Why would I care what Judy thinks?
What makes you think
that? I mean, it's just Judy.
Okay, you're not going swimming?
No, I'm not going...
That's lame. Really, really lame.
Well, I think I might go swimming.
Have fun! TTFN.
Oh, my God, that was almost so embarrassing!
Thank God I didn't invite
Judy over for the pool party.
Sometimes I think I don't
know anything about women.
I need some advice. I wish my dad was here.
Dad, what do you think I should do?
The secret is ruthless aggression.
It is?
You gotta look at yourself
and say, "My time is now!"
Show her what kind of man
you really are. Use those talents.
What are your talents, Fred?
-I am a good singer.
-No!
You're a great singer! You're the best!
It is you who take mere words
and make them melodious love.
Are you with me? Yes!
You've got to fire up! I'm with you, Dad.
Well, good. Just remember, it's
probably gonna get cold outside.
Bring a sweater, okay? Okay, Dad.
Thanks.
That's it! I've gotta invite Judy
over so we can harmonize together.
And then she'll forget all about Kevin
'cause harmonizing with
me will be so much smoother.
This is it! I'm gonna go over to Judy's house
and invite her over to sing with me.
I'm so excited!
I smell beautiful!
Nothing is going to come
between our love, Judy, nothing!
Oh, my gammit! Kevin!
I'm not going out there.
If I go out there and ask Judy
to come over in front of Kevin,
he's going to undermine my self-confidence.
Maybe he won't notice.
I've got to try!
Here I come to harmonize with you, Judy.
I'm gonna do it!
I can do it!
Hey, Figglehorn, where you going? Huh?
None of your business, Kevin.
Okay, what, are you going to
Judy's house for a little playdate, huh?
You gonna do...
Huh? You gonna do a little bit of that? Huh?
Kevin, that's not what I was gonna do, okay?
Dude, she hates you, man.
Why can't you just get that through your head,
dude? She hates you. She tells me all the time.
I mean, she came over yesterday,
and, like, dude, you know...
She hates you, Kevin.
I see how you misunderstood
it, because she hates you.
She doesn't hate me!
We're on a first-name basis.
Yeah, she hates everyone who can't sing, Kevin.
I can sing.
This whole neighborhood knows, you know?
You know? The whole
neighborhood knows I can sing.
I can sing, dude!
I mean, she hears me all the time, man!
I'm perfect. I got perfect pitch!
I've been told since day
one I have perfect pitch!
Man, I could reach... I
could reach all the notes.
That's weird because I overheard Judy saying
that she thinks you suck at singing.
Oh, you're going to get it!
You're gonna get it, Figglehorn!
You want some of this? She said it.
I didn't. You want it?
This is my cul-de-sac!
It always has been and it always will be, baby!
I can't believe that idiot,
Kevin, ruined everything!
I was so close.
Oh, my gosh! Kevin is
trying to get inside the house.
Fred. Go home, Kevin!
Figglehorn!
Get away from my house! Hey!
I will call the police! Fred!
I'm calling the police right now!
Figglehorn!
I already called the police and
they said that if you don't stop,
you're going to go to prison
with the fattest people ever!
Fred, open the door!
Oh.
Mom! Sorry.
You're strong.
Fred, what's going on in here?
Mom, I thought someone was gonna attack me.
Although, I don't know why anyone would want to.
Maybe because of your voice!
Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!
What, sweetie?
I'm going to have a friend
over so we can sing, okay?
Honey, no singing.
I'm taking a nap.
Mom, we'll be quiet.
Can't hear you. I'm taking a nap.
Kevin!
I can't go over there and ask Judy to my house
with Kevin out there.
He'll embarrass me.
Judy has such a beautiful Southern accent.
I know it would harmonize perfectly
with my normal human accent.
I don't know what to do.
What's wrong with you? Have I taught you nothing?
Dad!
No son of mine is going to sit here and hide
from Kevin!
Yeah! My house!
Sorry, kid.
I don't want Kevin to make
fun of me in front of Judy.
Make fun of you?
Sometimes you don't use these
muscles, you use this muscle.
You gotta out-think Kevin.
You gotta find another route.
Dad, the only other route is blocked by the wall.
The wall is nothing. It was put there
to keep you and your true love apart.
I knew it.
I am taking a nap.
I knew it.
My time is now!
Your time is now.
My time is now! Your time is now.
My time is now!
Time-out. Time-out, now.
Oh!
Sorry, Dad.
It's good.
You're ready.
Thanks, Dad.
Before you go...
A little schmutz.
Once I get over that wall,
I can go up to Judy's back
door and ask her to come over.
I've never even seen Judy's
back door, but I bet it's really nice.
I'm going to use this to make
a flying leap over the fence.
And then me and Judy are gonna walk
back over to my house, really proudly.
And then Kevin is gonna be all confused
and he won't be able to do anything.
And then we'll be back into my
house before he even knows it.
And this is the trampoline,
and I got it for my mom.
She uses it to train for work.
I'll bet you Kevin never
would have thought of this.
Stupid Kevin!
Kiss this, Kevin!
Here I come, Judy!
I'm coming, Judy. Just hold on.
Fred, are you okay?
I hurt myself while trying to get to Judy's.
Do you need to go to the hospital?
No, I don't think so.
Then I'm taking a nap!
This is better, much less dangerous.
Digging is hard.
I'm coming for you, Judy, just hold on!
Don't give up.
I've been digging in the tunnel
All hacking day
Okay.
Going back down.
It takes forever to get to
Judy's house underground.
Oh!
What's this?
Mom!
Awesome!
Oh, my gammit, that was awesome!
I'm coming, Judy. I have butt-loads of energy.
Here I come.
I'm here.
Oh, my gammit! I dug all the way to China!
I figured out what I'm going to
do. I'm gonna disguise myself.
Kevin will never recognize me.
He'll be totally fooled and I'll walk up
to Judy's door and rip off my disguise
and she'll think it's a joke and
then she'll laugh and then I'll laugh
and then we'll both be laughing.
Mmm! I'm gonna smell like green apples.
I have the perfect disguise. I ordered
it from the back of a comic book
and it is amazing.
It's an invisibility suit and it's
gonna make me completely invisible.
Here it is. I've been waiting to use this.
Whoa!
See you guys later.
Wow, that was totally worth $6.98,
plus shipping and handling.
Huh?
What's going on here?
Where am I, Kevin?
I'm here! Whoa!
No, I'm not. I'm over here.
Think fast.
What? Watch out.
Jesus!
What are you gonna do, Kevin?
Where are you? Behind you.
What's over here?
Oh, oh, oh.
Does baby want the ball? Watch out!
Stop! Are you gonna cry?
Does baby Kevin need his mommy?
Here goes nothing.
Oh, my gosh! It's such a weird feeling.
Floating shoe.
Who's doing it?
I don't know. Must be someone invisible.
What the heck?
Okay. Maybe I just didn't do it right.
One, two, three.
Gammit!
I guess I have to find a better disguise.
Mmm-hmm.
Oh! Ooh!
Boy, do I wish I could pull that one off.
Wait, what?
What?
Judy, I'm here! Is that Fred?
I'm gonna get you!
Oh, my gammit! Asian people kidnapped Judy.
What do I do? I've got to
call the police, and the cops,
and the FBI, the CIA and the FBI,
and the Army, and the cops and the SWAT team.
And... I don't even have an emergency
number. I don't know who to call.
I don't even know a number to call.
That's who I have to call.
9-1-1, what's your emergency?
Hello, this is Fred, Fred Figglehorn.
And I'm here to tell you
that my girlfriend, Judy,
has been kidnapped by Asian people.
Asian people have stolen my
girlfriend and her stuff and her family.
Sir... Although, if you ask her
if she's my girlfriend and she
says no, it's because we haven't
told a lot of people yet
and we were kind of keeping it on the down-low,
you know, people will be jealous, you know?
Anyways, she's gone!
Sir, you need to calm down.
Calm down?
Hello?
That is really frustrating that
the police won't even help me.
Her kidnappers could be anywhere by now.
She's going to have such a horrible life!
Fred, what is your problem?
Mom! Mom, wake up! Wake up right now!
I am up.
Mom, Judy has been kidnapped.
They took all of her stuff! She
might be dead! I don't even know!
What are you talking about?
Her house, it's completely empty.
Maybe that's because they moved.
What?
They sold their house to
the Tangs and they moved.
Got their address right here.
They asked me to forward
their mail. I'll get it to them.
Judy moved?
Where to?
I don't know. They asked
me to forward the mail. I...
Why didn't you tell me?
Because Freddie, I...
I didn't know you'd be so
upset. I wrote the address.
Mom! She's my girlfriend!
Judy. Freddie.
I'm getting their mail, I'm tossing it.
All right, honey, relax. I'm going out.
Be a good boy. You're a good boy.
Judy moved!
Judy moved away
I'm so in love, it hurts so much
Freddie, please, go to sleep!
My heart is broken and
my mom doesn't even care
Fred!
It's go time!
Dad! What's wrong?
It's Judy, she's been kidnapped by kidnappers.
Kidnappers? Who are they?
Her parents.
No!
Luckily, in the final minutes,
she sent us a transmission.
Check it out. It's right there.
That's classified.
Pay no attention to that. The transmission!
Oh, Fred! Judy!
There's so much that I wanted to say to you,
or sing to you or sing with you.
That's all I've ever wanted. You've
always known that to be true, right?
Yes, Judy! Yes!
I knew you did.
Okay, Judy, listen carefully.
Yes, Fred?
You are under a bed right now.
No! Judy, no!
Relax. We are going to rescue her.
Hey, hey, hey! Why don't
you have your seat belt on?
Oh! Sorry, Dad.
I hope Mom doesn't get worried
if she notices I'm not home
in the middle of the night.
She knows exactly where you are.
I've got your mail right here.
Take that!
Don't mess with my son!
What a crazy dream!
I think I know what it means.
I got it! Judy wants me to come find her.
We have a psychic connection.
And the dream is the only way she
could possibly communicate with me.
I found Judy's address on
this map. 56 Meadow Lane.
Sounds beautiful, doesn't it? Meadow.
I wonder what Judy's house looks like.
Whoa! It's nice, geez!
If I zoom in, I wonder if I can see her.
Zoom, zoom, zoom
Ew!
That must be the guy who lived
there before her. Oh! That is sick!
He pooped inside her bathroom.
The ghosts of that guy's poops will
be inside Judy's bathroom forever.
What if they come back to life, huh?
I have got to get Judy out of that house.
There's only one problem,
the woods.
I have to avoid the woods.
I have to. I mean, I'd be way
too scared to go back in there
after what happened
to little Evan Weiss.
I'll get it!
Little Evan Weiss,
he never came out of those woods, never, scary.
9-1-1, what's your emergency?
I need to know what bus to take
from my house to Judy's
house, avoiding the woods.
Sir, I think you meant to dial 4-1-1.
This line is for emergencies only.
This is an emergency!
Judy moved away and I have to get to her house
so I can invite her over to my
house so we can sing together.
Sir, please dial 4-1-1.
Rude.
Turns out that there's a bus that takes me
exactly one block from Judy's new address.
It's called the Number 7 bus.
I have no idea how long it's gonna
take me to get to Judy's house.
So, I'm just preparing for the worst.
I mean, it could take days, weeks.
Will I need ketchup?
Probably not, but it could
be dangerous out there.
I'm coming for you, Judy!
Oh, God!
I hate ketchup!
Should be enough.
I didn't know how much
the bus costs, so I took $25.
Well, here I go.
Wish me luck.
What? It might rain.
Judy.
I'm gonna do it. I can do this.
Hey, Figglehorn! Where you going?
None of your business, Kevin.
What? Are you going to a
butt-face convention? Huh?
I'm just gonna ignore you.
Well, you're not ignoring me
because you just talked to me.
What happened to your arm, Kevin?
Did you make a fake cast so
everyone would feel sorry for you?
No, it's not fake. Actually,
some guys tried to steal my bike
and I beat 'em up.
But it doesn't even matter because
five girls already signed it, so...
Why did they all use the same pen?
Because girls like the color red!
I bet God pushed him down
because he hates the way he sings.
What did you say?
I never said anything. I'm ignoring you, Kevin.
Then why do you keep talking to me, Figglehorn?
Where are you going, anyway?
Why do you care? I'm not gonna tell you.
All right, then.
I'll just follow you all the way
there. How would you like that?
Well, I'm here.
You have to take the bus? That is so lame, man.
I have girls take me where I want to go.
I have a girl.
Oh, yeah? Who? My mom.
Oh, my God, man! Is anybody listening to this?
You're such a loser, dude!
Where are you going? Huh?
Where are you going? Huh?
Where are you going, Fred?
Where are you going, Figglehorn? Huh?
Where are you going? Is that your bus, Fred?
I'm not talking to you, Kevin!
Is that your bus?
Are you going to get on the bus?
Ain't got all day here.
I know! I know where you're going.
All right. Where am I going?
Buck and a half.
Um...
Come on, kid. I got a schedule to keep here.
Here's five.
You can keep the change.
Hi.
I think I'll sit back here.
Uh-oh.
I'm supposed to be on the Number 7 bus.
This is the Number 6 bus.
This is the Number 6 bus.
I know, but if Kevin knew all the
bus routes and where they were going
and if I got on the right bus,
he would know where I was actually going.
So, by getting on the wrong
bus he would never know
I was actually going to Judy's house.
Dude, please. Chill out.
Sorry. I'm just really excited.
I'm Fred. Fred Figglehorn.
Derf.
Dude, don't. That's lame.
Oh, right, I knew that.
So, who's Judy? Does she
have a sister or something?
She's my girlfriend.
No, she's not.
What?
Judy is not your girlfriend.
You're right. How did you know?
Lie detectors.
Cool!
It's just Judy is such a smoking-hot babe.
And just every time I see her, I just tingle.
She makes you pee?
I said "tingle" not "tinkle."
Dude, take a joke.
I guess I'm a little weird.
Everybody is weird, man.
All of us.
What's that supposed to mean?
Don't think about it too much.
It means something, though. Just process it.
Wow! You're like a god, Derf!
I know.
I wish I could be that cool around Judy.
She's the most hacking awesome girl, ever!
Yeah, we're for sure to get married,
but obviously it's not going to be tomorrow.
Although, I mean, I wouldn't mind that.
The best day of sixth grade
would have to be when Judy and I
were assigned into the same math group,
Green For Go, because it was the advanced group.
The worst day would have to be the next day,
when the teacher realized I wasn't
supposed to be in the green group
and whacked me really hard
on the knuckles with a ruler.
You know, we're a really good, like, duo.
Like, we're really good together.
End of the line!
Huh?
End of the line!
You're gonna kill us?
No, it means you gotta get off.
Oh!
Well, it was nice meeting you... Derf? Derf?
Oh!
That's odd.
Oh, my gammit!
Slide, slide.
Slide, slide.
Fred? What are you doing?
Bertha!
I asked you a question.
Are you dong-e-a-fong?
No! No, no. Not at all.
What's "dong-e-a-fong"? Deaf.
You add "ong" to each consonant. Dong-e-a-fong.
What are you doing here?
Bertha, I can come to the pool
if I wong-a-nong-tong.
Yeah?
Well, I've never seen you here before
and you're not wearing a swimsuit.
This is my swimming suit. I
mean, sometimes I just don't like
showing my body too much because, you know,
it's too much sex appeal.
Cute.
How come nobody's here?
You're, like, the only one.
Some kid pooped in the pool.
Ew!
The good thing is now
there's no line for the slide.
I have to go, anyway.
Yeah, okay, sure.
I'm going to my friend's house. Girlfriend.
Before you go, do you want to try something cool?
Pretty fun, isn't it?
It's really fun!
My neck is hot but my feet are cold!
But what if I have to go to the bathroom?
Don't be a wong-i-mong-pong.
Well, I'm going swimming. Later!
I'm not a wimp!
Mmm!
Help! Somebody help her.
I think she's drowning.
No, no, Judy!
I'm trapped. Just wait one second, Judy!
Fred! Judy!
Judy! I'll save you!
Hey, bro! I got it!
Get out of the way! Get
out of the way! Move it, punk!
Judy, I'll save you!
Whoo!
Love won't keep you guys together.
You guys don't love each other!
Why are you guys singing together?
Judy, Judy, I thought we were
gonna take it to the next level.
No! No!
Oh, my gammit! Oh, my
gammit! I've got to get going.
I've got to get to Judy's house!
So, did you get the poop
out of the pool, yet? No?
Hey, Fred! You can't show up
at Judy's house looking like that.
She's gonna make fun of you!
How did you know I was going to Judy's house?
I didn't until just now.
So long, dong-o-o-fong-u-song.
What are you doing? You can't be naked in here.
I was going to leave my underwear on.
Yeah, well, nobody wants
to see you in your underwear.
I beg to differ. I've been told
my body's pretty attractive.
Uh-huh
Yeah
Uh-huh
Yeah Uh-huh
Yeah Uh-huh
No Yeah Uh-huh
No Yeah Uh-huh
No Yeah Uh-huh
No Yeah Uh-huh
No Yeah
Get your butt out of here.
I'd like a regular cleaning.
Would you like a fragrance?
Green apples.
Green apples?
Can I get a green apples, please?
Will you watch my bag for me?
Where's your car?
That was awesome.
Get out of the road!
Sorry.
Nice hair, moron!
Oh, geez!
Oh, my God! They sell
squirrels! I love squirrels!
Customer! Squirrels!
I'm busy. And I'm grooming Lancelot.
And you're useless.
Yes, young man?
Oh! Hey. I was just looking at the squirrels.
We don't have squirrels. You
might want to go to a park or outside.
We do have hamsters, though.
They're in the rodent family if
you want to take a look at them.
Um, I saw the squirrels and I just thought that
they'd be the perfect present for Judy, so...
Look. I don't know her
and I don't care to know her.
We can't help you, but
presents are nice. I enjoy them.
Gary! Gary!
The young man believes
the Pomeranians are squirrels.
I knew that. I don't think you did.
Excuse me! Yeah?
Come with me. Now, by
squirrels, do you mean this?
Yep! How much are they?
$795.
Oh, okay. Lorenzo, can you ring us up? $795.
$795? That's how much my mom makes a year!
That is ridiculous!
Never mind, Lorenzo! He's broke.
Okay. Well, I'm just gonna be looking around.
So, don't even... Don't even mind me.
I won't.
I won't even be here, I'll be leaving soon.
Get in there. Yeah.
I've been wanting one of these for a while now.
What are you doing?
What are you talking about?
Put the dog down.
Dog? Squirrel.
Put the dog down.
Squirrel.
I don't have a dog, you psycho.
My God, Gary! He's a gang banger! This is Mace!
I will spray you. No!
I will spray you in the eyes!
Lorenzo, what are you doing with Mace?
Someone has to protect us.
This is not the time for your drama, okay?
Put the dog back. I will do it myself.
I don't have a dog!
Lady, clear out! Put the dog back.
It's not a dog!
Spray him, he's got crazy in his eyes.
Stop. Put the dog back.
Leave me alone! Put the dog back!
Spray him! Just spray him!
Don't tell me what to do!
Gary! Look what you've made us do!
My beautiful eyes!
Tell your friends not to mess with us!
This is worse than when you
made me stay at the Marriott!
I'm sorry.
Oh! Hey, sir. Do you know how
to get to Meadow Lane from here?
What?
I can't understand you. I'm sorry.
Oh, my God! There's something wrong with me.
Why is there a voice in my head
that doesn't even make sense?
Are you a spaceman? Is that what you are?
You're doing something to me,
aren't you? You're gonna ruin my brain!
Get away from me, spaceman.
I will not let you ruin my brain!
Dam!
Dam, indeedy! Oh!
Hey, watch that cussing. I'm just
playing. It's a dam, it's what it is.
I was just looking.
Good for you. You should look. Soak her in.
Soak in all the dam beauty. I tell you what.
She's the single greatest feat of
engineering in the entire county.
Hey, you know what this
dam is made out of, don't you?
No. Sweat and ingenuity, friend.
Sweat and ingenuity.
Do you know how to get to the Number 7 bus?
Oh, the Number 7 bus, well,
it's just a quick, little jaunt
through the woods right there.
The woods!
Oh, no, no, no.
Don't be scared. Don't be scared of the woods.
You're not scared of the woods, are you?
I have to walk through the woods?
There's nothing to be afraid of in the woods,
except for what happened
to little Evan Weiss.
But if you're scared, I'll
tell you what you can do.
You can just turn around and
just go home. Be home with Mama.
Yeah, that's a good idea. Mama.
Mama. Mama.
Mama. Mama.
"Mama, save me!"
"I'm a big, grown baby who needs his mama!"
What's wrong with you? You
know what I'd do if I were you?
I'd man up! I'd face my
fears. I'd BS. I'd be somebody.
That's me. Who are you?
Man up, man! Head into those woods.
Face your fears. Do what I'd do.
Look at the... Respect the badge!
You're right. You're definitely right.
I should go through the woods.
There you go.
Judy needs me right now.
Do it for Judy.
It's just the woods. It's just the woods.
It's no big deal. Go on.
I'm going to do it!
Run! Run to Judy. Run to her!
No running in the dam!
Okay.
I'm okay. Good.
It's okay. It's okay. It's okay, Fred.
Maybe if I sing, I'll feel better
This place isn't so nice
I never wanted to come back here
because of little Evan Weiss
I like your song.
You're a good singer.
Mmm-hmm.
You should thank someone for a compliment.
What's wrong?
Well, you're talking! You're
talking and you're a deer!
Oh! For a minute there, I thought
there was a wolf or something.
Whoo! You scared me.
Do all deers talk?
It's deer.
Do all "deer" talk? The
plural of deer is still deer.
Just like moose. Nobody says "mooses" or "meese."
Do you all talk?
Some of us way too much.
Hey, can I drop one with you?
Drop what?
A song.
Really? Okay.
Walking through the woods
but there was nothing to fear
Since I met my friend, the deer
That's me
Stop! Hoofer time! Mmm.
You know, I don't even know why I've
always been so terrified of the woods.
I mean, now that I've actually came here,
I realize it's not even that scary.
I'm out of here.
I mean, the woods has got trees,
deer, birds. I mean, there's just so much to it.
I mean, it's more than just, it's...
Fred!
It's me! Evan! Evan Weiss!
I got it!
Got what?
The ball! I got the ball! I got it.
Tell my parents I'm okay!
Oh! Hey. Look, it's your little friend.
Hey, Figglehorn! Do you need
a ride? Do you need a ride?
What an idiot! Mom, drive around the block.
I'm not your chauffeur. Mom!
Hey, nice lean-to!
One more.
Kevin, no. I am drawing the line.
I'm gonna tell Dad.
Don't tell him.
What is that?
Derf! How'd you get here?
Dude, my question needs to be answered first.
Sardines.
Lunch fail, man.
I know. I don't actually like
them, but when I packed my food
I forgot to pack a can opener
and this is the only can that
had a handy little opener on it.
And I've been walking all over,
so I'm really tired and I just got so hungry!
You've got to chill out, man.
I'm going to bed. Will you
wake me when the bus comes?
Maybe,
but maybe not.
Bus, man.
Thanks, Derf! You're, like,
the best friend I've ever had.
Just kidding, obviously.
I'm doing it! Wish me luck.
I'm going to Judy's house!
Ugh.
You want it?
Do you want it?
Excuse me?
I found this poor little animal
wandering around all by himself.
A squirrel! It's a squirrel. I'll take it.
This is my lucky day. Oh!
Me and Judy will be your new
parents and we'll love you forever.
Meadow Lane!
Oh, my gammit, we're here!
You're gonna see your mama.
Here we go.
Judy!
Yes!
Judy.
Mom, I hate it here. I want to
move back to our old house.
Stop complaining!
Hello, miss.
Who are you?
Fred!
It's me!
I knew you'd come for me!
You got my psychic message.
I did.
I brought you a gift, Judy.
A squirrel. I love squirrels.
Thank you.
It's nothing.
However did you get here?
It must have been so hard!
It was! I crossed the entire
city to get to you, Judy,
even the woods.
You went through the woods?
They're so dangerous. I've been
worried about the wild animals.
I wasn't afraid of the wild
animals, but I was afraid
of little Evan Weiss.
He's alive?
He's very alive.
Oh, my God. I'm so impressed
with you. You came all this way.
But why?
To see you, Judy,
and to invite you over to my house.
Oh, I'd love to come over to your house,
to sing.
Do
Re
Mi
Fa
So
La
La
La
La, La, La, La La, La, La, La
Are you coming or ain't ya? Can't believe...
Oh, my God! The bus!
Judy!
Judy, I'm here.
Fred?
Where's... Where's Judy?
Oh, my God. Guys, it's Fred!
What are you doing here, Fred?
I think I could ask you the same question, Kevin.
Uh, no, you can't, 'cause I
was invited and you weren't.
So, get out, dude!
This isn't even your house, Kevin.
You can't just tell me to leave.
What are all you guys doing in here anyway?
I mean, are you just creeping
around Judy's house or something?
What's it look like? It's a party.
Yeah, it's a party! That you weren't invited to!
Well, for your guys' information,
Judy would be happy to have me here.
I call her every night.
Oh, my God. What a loser.
Judy. Fred.
Please tell me you didn't
invite Figglehorn to this party!
What are you doing here?
Don't you want to hear about
how I got here? It's a crazy story.
Fred, I'm kind of in the middle of my party.
I think she just told you to leave, man!
Maybe you shouldn't be here.
Judy? You're right.
Maybe I shouldn't be here
because, no offense to you,
Judy, but this party is so lame!
This isn't lame. This is a good party.
Yeah. Now it is.
Now it is!
This is so embarrassing, Fred.
Judy, why are you being like this?
Oh, my God. I can't do this.
Judy, who are you?
Where's the Judy I know? Huh?
Show me her. Show me the old Judy.
Fred, I think it would
be better if you just left.
I'm really sorry, Fred.
Judy, I've came all this way just for you!
This isn't a Girl Scout convention.
We don't want any of your cookies.
We don't want any of your cookies.
Kevin!
Take a look at that! He puked on her.
That is disgusting! Oh, my gosh.
Fred! Fred, wait!
Dude, you got to send that to
me. You got to send that to me...
I got it! I got it!
Hey, kid, you lost or something?
Kind of.
Where are you going?
Home.
All right. My shift's over.
Get in and I'll take you.
But I don't have another $5 bill.
Get in.
Thanks. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Pays to tip.
Take care, kid.
Thanks.
Don't. That's lame.
Oh.
That was so humiliating!
I can't believe Judy had a
party and didn't even invite me!
She's not who I thought she was at all!
I bet you that Southern
accent of hers isn't even real.
She's probably never even been to the South.
Freddie, honey, who are you talking to?
Mom? Mom! I'm really upset right now.
Well, one of your friends just sent
me a video about you on the computer.
About me?
Yeah. You got to check it out.
Oh, my God!
Oh, my gammit! This is so embarrassing!
Forty-seven people have seen this already?
That's more than my entire class!
Fifty-one people now. Fifty-one.
That's like three more people
than last time! Who posted this?
KevSmellMyFart?
Kevin! Ugh! What a stupid username,
and an even more stupid video!
Why do people even want to
watch other people on YouTube?
It's weird! It's creepy!
I don't get it. I just don't.
Oh, my gosh! Another person just watched it!
And another! Oh my gosh!
In 60 seconds, 60 people will
have seen this! This is horrible!
Imagine how many people
will have seen it in a year!
Well, I'm not going to stand for this. No, no.
I'm going to have a party,
and no one's gonna be invited.
Hi, Fred.
Hi, Mrs. Libo. Is Kevin here?
Oh! He is! Come on in!
Kevin! Your friend is here.
Mom, I'm in the crapper.
Kevin!
I'm sorry.
Where's the toilet paper?
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who invited Figglehorn here?
I did. Kevin, be polite.
It's okay.
Kevin, I'm having a party
tonight. That's why I came over.
See, Kevin?
Yeah, it's going to be awesome!
There's going to be lots of
games and food and music,
and we're going to do a lot of illegal stuff.
Kids our age can't do it,
but we're gonna do it anyway.
What? It's gonna be great!
That sounds like fun! All right.
Okay.
Here.
I met your father at a party.
Mom. That's disgusting. Come on.
What is this?
Your dis-invitation. I'm having
a party, and you can't come.
I'm so... I'm trying to get it...
I have to go right now because there's a lot
of other people I have to dis-invite to my party.
Oh, what a sweet kid.
Yeah, I'm glad you're friends.
I'm not friends with him.
You should be because he seems popular.
Mom, I'm not even friends with him.
I would be because he's popular.
Mom, I'm not friends with him!
Stop touching my hat!
Oh gosh, right. Don't touch the hat.
Just wanted to make sure you
knew you weren't invited. Bye.
Oh! Looks like you got my message
that you're not invited to my party! Sucker!
And I asked everyone, and they
all specifically said you weren't cool,
so here you go.
One for you and one for you. Both not invited!
Hey, guys!
Just wanted to let you guys
know that I was having a party,
but you're not invited!
What's up, moron?
Bertha, hi.
Hi, Fred, what's up?
Not much.
No? Just hanging.
Okay. I saw that video of you online.
It's so funny, isn't it? Everyone saw it.
I'm not stupid, I know. I get it. I'm over it.
Anyways, here. You're not invited to my party.
I never was gonna invite you anyway. See you.
It's gonna be fun without you.
I didn't think that video was funny.
Are you serious? I was all...
And then Kevin was like "Oh,
let's throw a piece of pizza at him."
"So funny." But you weren't
laughing, were you? No.
No. I wasn't invited to Judy's party.
You weren't?
Well, I don't know. I guess I just assumed.
Well, anyways, I'm going to go
get ready for my party. So, see you.
Okay. Have fun.
Bertha! Bertha?
Um...
Would you maybe want to...
Like, you could just come and
party maybe, just for a little bit?
You don't have to stay the whole time,
but do you want to come, maybe?
Okay.
Really?
Yeah. I like partying. I'm a good partier.
Okay! Well, if you come, bring a lot of clothes.
Just bring everything you got, okay?
What... Do I just... I can just
bring anything? It doesn't matter?
A ton. A ton of clothes. Your
mom's, your dad's, everyone's.
Do it now. Do it now, now, now, now!
Okay, I'll see you in a minute. Okay. Bye.
Did you get that? I got it.
Hey, Fred! What's going on here?
Nothing.
What are you doing with the camera?
We're having a party!
Did we talk about you having a party?
No, sorry.
How many people did you invite?
A hundred, 150?
You got a lot of friends, Fred.
Bye.
That's good. That's real good.
Nice one.
What time is it?
Huh? Uh, I'm almost done. Hold on.
Almost there.
Finally! I'm done with this video.
It's going to be so awesome.
Let me tell you. Everyone at my
school is going to be so jealous.
But what if they think it's
fake? That won't be good.
I mean, they'll think I'm
even a bigger loser. So...
You know what? I'm going to send it right now.
I'm taking the risk. Here I go.
No, no. Everyone will think you're a loser, no.
I'm doing it! Why should I
even care what they think?
Fred, send it, send it, send it!
No, Fred. Don't send it!
Send it! Send it, Fred!
What should I do? What should
I do? I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do. What
should I do? What should I do?
Oh, my gammit! I sent it!
This party is off the hook.
I wanted to make it to Fred's party,
but my girl didn't want to go.
I like to party, she don't like
to party. I like to break it down.
I will be at the next one.
Oh. It was an epic fail
of me not to go to Fred's.
I mean, I wasn't invited,
but I'm sure it's because I wasn't
around when he was inviting people.
I've been out sick.
A lot.
I would totally go out with Fred,
but Judy's, like, my best friend
and I would never do that to her.
I was at Fred's house, and, like...
And we, like, hurled together.
I mean, we crossed hurl.
I don't care that I wasn't invited to
Fred's party, you know. I don't care.
I don't care at all. I don't. I really don't.
I don't know why everyone's asking me that.
Who was there?
Best party ever, right?
Boys, quit staring.
Where are my friends? Where did my friends go?
Hey, guys! Guys!
Whoo! Hey. That was some party.
Hey, mister. Aren't you supposed to be in school?
Hi, Mom.
You sure know how to throw a little party.
Yeah, it was over yesterday.
Yeah? Did your girlfriend, Judy, show up?
Mom. No, she didn't. She's
not my girlfriend, anyway.
Hey, listen. So what? She's
probably just playing hard to get.
There'll be others knocking your doorstep down.
She'll be lucky to have you as a boyfriend
because you're good-looking,
because you're a Figglehorn.
I am a Figglehorn, Mom. Thanks.
Anyway, keep getting their family's
mail. Who does she think she is?
I thought you said you're
going to toss all the mail, Mom.
Yeah, well, I'm a big talker.
What you... Nice house.
Yeah, it's Judy's house.
Is that the house where you hurled?
Mmm-hmm.
Hey, I know that guy.
It's Danny Jennety.
Ew!
How do you know him?
We had a date once.
When was that?
That was about, I don't know, 15 years ago?
I'm 15.
I'm taking a nap.
You just got up, Mom.
Yeah, well, whatever. I'm taking a nap.
Dad! What are you doing here?
Taking a nap.
Judy! Hi, Fred.
You're tall.
Oh. It's the shoes.
You weren't at school
today. I hope you're not sick.
I'm not sick. I'm not sick at all.
Were you taking a nap then?
No.
Why are you wearing your pajamas?
These aren't pajamas. They're loungewear.
Oh.
What do you want?
I wanted to see you, Fred.
Really?
I really wanted to apologize.
I just feel like I've been really mean,
and I should've invited you to my party.
I'm really sorry.
Don't worry. I'm totally over it.
I totally deserved to be barfed all over.
Want me to do it again?
Gross.
Apology accepted.
Thank you.
So, can I come in?
Like, into my house?
I just thought we could hang out.
And do what?
I don't know.
Um...
I thought we could sing together.
Sing? Me and you, like, together? Singing?
Just hold on one second, okay?
Sure.
Ahhhh!
Oh, yeah, dude. Rock on!
Won't you come in?
Thank you.
---oOo---