Friends & Crocodiles (2005) Movie Script
Lizzie?
Yes, William? I won't be a moment. William?
I've just rung to say that Paul is here.
- Paul?
- Yes, right now.
Paul is here.
Paul is with you?
Not actually with me, no.
He's outside the door, waiting for me.
He looks extraordinary, too.
He looks like he has been living in a cave.
You've no idea what he wants?
- Why he might want to see me?
- No.
Not a clue.
Paul, is it you?
It is you. How extraordinary, after all this time.
It is me, yes.
- How goes it?
- It goes well, I think.
Very well. And with you? You look...
- Like shit?
- No, of course not.
Different. Tiny bit different.
- Busy, are you?
- Very busy.
Always busy, stirring away at this and that.
- You weren't looking for me, were you, Paul?
- Of course.
- Why were you doing that?
- I think it's time you paid me a visit.
You haven't seen where I am living now,
have you?
No, that would be good.
And, yes, can't wait to see that.
Look, Paul, I'm running late as it is,
and I've got a very important meeting.
Very important.
And as you can see, the meter is running.
And I'm very uncharacteristically paying
for this taxi. So, I'll call you tomorrow?
- Same number, isn't it?
- Yes.
Yeah, I'll call tomorrow without fail.
Go. Go now to the Savoy, go.
Come on, what are you waiting for? Go.
Hello. This is Charlie.
Now I was just explaining to Charlie
that in Saxon England,
there was actually no word for "woman".
It was just "man" and "man".
You believe me? It's a joke.
Marvellous. Absolutely marvellous!
There are facts in here
that will make your hair stand on end.
WILLIAM: There she is.
Always on time.
Regular as clockwork.
Nobody seems to have noticed her except me.
Ingrid, the man, was left for...
Hello. And what's your name?
- Yasmin.
- Yasmin? Now, Yasmin's a good name.
- Hi.
- Hello.
You walk by here all the time.
That's right. It's my lunch hour.
- I'm Paul. Paul Reynolds, by the way.
- I know.
And that's your home. I know that, too.
And these are all your grounds,
as far as you can see.
But this is a right of way, isn't it?
- I'm all right here, aren't I?
- Yes, of course.
You're free to go wherever on my land,
whenever you want.
Thanks.
- And you are?
- Lizzie.
Lizzie Thomas.
I work in an estate agent in Ashbourne.
So, I know all about your property,
I should say "properties".
I read about you
buying this building and that building.
You don't want a drink? Or a little food?
- Or a job?
- No, thanks. None of those.
Not today, but maybe...
- I've a selection of possibilities.
- I have got to go if I want to finish my walk.
I can't be late back for work.
Will she look back?
I bet she doesn't look back.
All our W's in the right place, are they?
All our R's nice and perky, are they?
I think we have a tiny bit of slippage here,
haven't we?
All our F's and K's in good order, are they?
No keys getting stuck?
I know this customer.
Mrs Wheeler will see to the customer,
thank you very much.
- What are you doing here?
- Come and work for me.
- As what?
- As my secretary, at first.
- At first? That sounds dangerous.
- No, it doesn't.
It's exactly what it seems.
Personal Assistant. I need one.
- You must have loads of secretaries.
- At this precise moment, there's nobody.
And why is that?
You'll see, I expect,
when you come and work for me.
Enough chat, Lizzie. Back to work.
Mrs Wheeler, see to the gentleman.
What've you got to lose?
I'll start in a month.
- It's too late.
- That's my offer.
Take it or leave it.
(PEOPLE TALKING)
(PEOPLE LAUGHING)
Here she is.
With her typewriter.
She looks the business.
WILLIAM: It's the Albert brothers. They're artists.
(TYPEWRITER CLACKING)
Actually, they're not really brothers, as it happens.
They just think it's a more handy label
for when they become famous.
The Albert Brothers.
It's not bad, actually.
There's a couple of old aristos,
members of the House of Lords.
You don't need to worry about them.
That's Neville Coyle. He's making his name
as a brilliant right-wing thinker.
He's always very pale. Baby-smooth complexion.
I call him The Blob. He's one to watch.
(TYPEWRITER CLACKING)
Then it's Francis Butterworth,
the magnificent scholar of Medieval History.
He's only ever written one book in his life,
but another is expected sometime soon.
There's Redfern, of course. He's a revolutionary.
Has very radical ideas,
how to teach children how they should
play in the woods until they're at least 12.
Never take exams.
Paul collects people that interest him...
and then lets them do whatever they want.
- And now he has collected you.
- No.
I'm just the secretary. That is quite different.
Graham.
He's a poet, and a homosexual.
Quiet bloke, but he makes no secret of it.
Then, of course, there's William Sneath...
me.
Who, for some reason caught Paul's eye
like everyone else here...
and is hoping to prosper just by being near him.
Each party is bigger than the last.
You'll just have to hope you're not here
when he holds the next one. It's a lot to organise.
Those are great decorations.
Why don't any of his secretaries last?
I wouldn't know, would I?
Nearly there.
Sorry?
I mean you've nearly reached the room
where you'll work. Come on.
- Will this do?
- Of course.
It's so good you're here.
When do you want me here tomorrow?
When do we start?
- 8.30? 9:00?
- No, there's no rush.
There's never any rush.
(MAN SHOUTING)
(BELL RINGING)
(RINGING CONTINUES)
(DEEP VOICE) Lizzie!
(RINGING STOPS)
Come in.
Oh, I am... I'm so sorry. I'm...
- I thought somebody was calling me.
- WOMAN: It was me.
(BELL RINGING)
(DEEP VOICE) Lizzie!
(GIRLS LAUGHING)
- I'll be back in my office, if you want me.
- No, there's no need to go back there.
- What can he have in mind?
- Don't! Christine! Shh!
Please, I want to talk to you.
Wait for me in the long gallery.
Please, okay? There's a nice spread there
of fruit and coffee and... Okay? I'll be out...
Stop it! Stop. Christine, stop it!
I'll be out in less than a minute.
I'm so sorry.
- Everything took much longer than we expected.
- Which isn't always the case, is it?
It is all clear now. He's ready for you.
You can go in now.
That was unforgivable, I know.
- I'm sorry.
- Was that some sort of test?
'Cause if it was, I really hope I failed it.
Well, we really should do some work
before you leave.
Let me show you something.
Come over here.
Here is everything I intend to do.
All my plans are here.
- The future is in this room.
- The future?
You can find it in all this mess?
Usually. Most days.
I've been lucky, so far.
You know, with property.
Buying this building, selling that building.
I've made pots of money
without ever having to think too deeply about it.
But in here...
In here, this is what I really want to do.
The list of the top ten projects.
What I plan for the next few years.
A city centre I have a great scheme for,
many other things, not just buildings.
- And then there are the windmills.
- Wind power, something I am very interested in.
Am I Don Quixote?
Not quite sure, yet.
I need a little help with this, as you can see.
(WATER LAPPING)
Someone who'll crack the whip.
Get it organised.
(WATER LAPPING)
(LIZZIE GASPING)
And I'm interested in crocodiles, too.
- Why?
- I'll explain later. It's only eighth on the list.
You'll stay?
- Help me make all this come true?
- We'll work normal hours?
Of course. I'm not quite as lazy as I seem.
We'll work ultra normal hours.
The most conventional hours we can find.
- Not too many parties?
- No parties. Definitely not.
I don't want to hold any more. I promise.
Not for a long while.
I thought I might make each project colour-coded.
Give it its own colour,
so we'll know immediately where it is.
It's terrific.
A code in colour.
It's great.
MAN: (TEASING) She's coming.
The secretary is a-coming.
Lizzie?
Always in such a hurry.
- Morning.
- Hi.
There are eight letters from America...
- and one from Poland.
- Thank you, Lizzie.
Nice day.
(WHISTLING)
Come on.
(PEOPLE CHEERING AND LAUGHING)
(SNORING)
Just got to a difficult part...
in my book...
just struggling with it, as you can see.
Competitive sport's
going to become a thing of the past.
Don't you know?
I'm founding a society dedicated to it.
NOSCP.
"Noscp."
No School Competitions.
REPORTER: (ON TV)
More than 100 white and coloured youths
fought a pitched battle against the police.
Some were as young as 12,
the oldest no more than 20.
It lasted for eight hours and at the end of it
Merseyside's chief constable
said it was a planned attack.
"We were set up,"he said.
(WHISPERING) Whatever you do,
don't disturb the assistant.
And still the bricks, stones and lumps of iron
were thrown, worst of all, the petrol bombs.
And against all this,
riot shields and visors were not enough.
(VOLUME DECREASING)
Always working.
Always buried in Paul's papers.
Yes, there are some really great ideas in here.
So, you see blue for instance,
is the wind, the windmills.
Everything to do with wind power, that's blue.
We can see where all that is now, at a glance.
It's magical.
Spectacular.
I never thought the room could look like this.
It's great.
So we're ready then, for the next stage?
Making these things happen?
Yeah, we are. Absolutely.
There is just one other colour before then.
- This colour.
- And what's that?
It's my birthday in a couple of weeks.
I thought I'd hold a picnic.
- Come on, Lizzie, don't look like that.
- No.
It's not a party.
No. But you must think I'm an awful killjoy,
which I'm not. It's just that...
- I thought we were going to really start.
- We are, I promise.
After one very small, everyday picnic.
LIZZIE: It's ready.
(GONG SOUNDING)
(PEOPLE CHUCKLING HEARTILY)
ALL: One, two, three.
ALL: Whoo!
My sister's enjoying herself.
Good luck to her.
She's been disabled from birth, you know.
But look at all the rest of them,
snouts in their hampers...
gobble, gobble, gobble.
They can't believe their luck, can they?
I think I will make the toast.
(GLASS TINKLING)
The toast.
Surely the time is right for the birthday toast.
The politician. Of course, it has to be him
who thinks of the toast first.
To Paul, on his birthday.
No number. Don't put a number on it.
His age, very unlucky.
We're all very aware of how privileged we are
to receive such hospitality,
in what must be
one of the most beautiful settings in the world.
We second that.
To Paul, the maestro.
The only patron
that we would accept a patronage from.
I endorse all of that and more,
because if it wasn't for you,
I would still be on the local paper.
This is pathetic. I'll show you how to do it.
What we should be saying...
PAUL: (LAUGHING) Here he comes.
...is this.
Paul...
you have vision, vision beyond your years...
because with you, there're no structures.
Freedom,
dreamtime,
daydreams and night dreams,
space.
The only thinking environment that makes sense.
You young people here,
do not forget this moment...
because I do not kneel before you, Paul...
but I do teeter.
You are the one and only
and we are truly, truly grateful.
- To Paul!
- ALL: To Paul!
That's quite enough of that, all of you.
But thank you.
Thank you.
Right. Now, I think you need a bit of waking up.
I've bought myself a little present.
Lizzie.
MAN: Oh my God!
All aboard!
Room upstairs.
All aboard.
Hurry up!
Hey, you know the route?
Because of the weight of the bus,
we have to keep to the main avenue.
- You do understand?
- I hear you, Lizzie.
Otherwise, it'll get stuck.
- The 98. All the way to Maida Vale.
- Maida Vale!
- Quiet, everyone.
- Well done.
(BUS HORN TOOTING)
(WHOOPING AND CHEERING)
Never has a bus been so full of talent.
What the hell is he doing?
Hold on!
(PEOPLE GASPING)
(PEOPLE GASPING)
That was the best bus ride ever.
It's stuck, Lizzie. Don't worry about it.
(PEOPLE CHUCKLING)
- We can't move it.
- I like it like that.
- Somebody could have got badly hurt.
- I've always wanted to drive a London bus.
I got a bit carried away.
- Some people had fun.
- LIZZIE: Of course, that explains it all.
I don't belong here, do I?
- I really don't.
- That's exactly why I want you here, Lizzie.
- To bully me, cause me grief.
- That's a really great job, Paul.
Find somebody else to kick your arse.
I am working all the time in here...
going over and over things,
and sometimes I just need to let rip,
so I can start again.
There's a room you have never seen.
Let me show it to you.
Please meet me there tomorrow morning.
I'm here.
- Are you going to stay over there all the time?
- Depends what you've got to show me.
I see you've got him a new tank.
Is that what you wanted me to see?
His new home?
No.
Those shops are the first thing I bought,
at the age of twenty-one.
My father was a Dagenham car worker.
I was determined not to do that, not to work there.
I saw these derelict shops, all along a high street.
I formed a consortium, I bought the lot.
The whole of the empire
comes from that first purchase.
All that work, and now you can drive a London bus
around your estate.
And out there is all the work you've done,
everything beautifully colour-coded.
Would you work with me to bring all that stuff
out there, into here? Into this?
Channel it into an action plan.
You'll know all about my finances.
You'll sit in at meetings
with my financial advisers.
You'll see the way things are prioritised,
what figures are set aside for which projects.
You will be able to read all my thoughts...
in here.
Nobody has been allowed to do that before.
And I'll give you a raise. I'll double your salary.
Come on, why not? I want to show you I can work.
And you'll tell me about the crocodile?
Maybe.
(TYPEWRITER CLACKING)
Coffee. Get me some coffee.
Since you're working, I will.
- One day, Lizzie, you'll run a major corporation.
- Oh, yeah.
Computers. I should buy a computer.
I don't like them.
Get into computers, Lizzie,
don't let the blokes make it their preserve.
You know, in the early days of computers,
and not so long ago, too,
there were lots of women,
they understood them better than men,
because it was considered as lowly as typing.
(TAPPING ON BOOK)
(WHISPERING) I think we're there.
The future is planned...
and what's more, it's costed.
We've finished.
Not quite.
- You haven't told me about the crocodile.
- I will...
and I want to hear your opinion of all of this.
But first we must celebrate.
- Must we?
- I've had this house for five years.
You've been here nearly a year.
That must mean it's time for a party.
I wondered when that was coming. A small party?
No. I'm going to invite
absolutely everybody I know.
- We'll need the whole county to house that lot.
- No, we'll draw up the list together.
And once it is agreed, no one will be added.
I promise.
You all know where you are going to be,
you've got your positions.
So keep to them, don't wander off.
Concentrate all the time.
Now, coming to this party is everybody
from Cabinet ministers to small children.
I'm sure we'll all be able to tell the difference,
but just in case,
there's a full list I'm putting up here
of everybody that's coming.
Lizzie.
You can't wear that.
Why not?
- I'm one of the staff. I'm not a guest.
- Don't be stupid, don't be really idiotic.
You run this place.
Go on, go and put something really great on.
(SINGING)
Wonderful sight, isn't it?
You look wonderful, too.
Now.
He really has turned into Gatsby.
And you've arranged everything brilliantly, Lizzie.
- Thanks.
- God.
Hello, sir. Very good to see you.
Five bishops, three members of the cabinet,
at least.
And I don't need to tell you
who everybody is any more, do I?
I better get over there, hadn't I?
Do myself some good.
Too perfect an opportunity. Got to tuck in.
(VEHICLES HONKING)
Make way!
Make way for the unemployed.
Get all of these people out of here,
please, at once.
They're not coming in here, they're not on the list.
- Oh, really?
...something private as well.
- Please, come in.
- Yes!
Don't worry, this is a party for everyone.
It'll be fine.
My parties need a surprise element
to keep them fresh.
Everybody in.
This boy is the cleverest person at this party.
Ask him anything. No matter how obscure...
Oliver will know. He's like Mr Memory.
How tall is the Archbishop of Canterbury?
The Archbishop of Canterbury is very tall.
I think over 6'3".
And what is the biggest fish in the sea?
The biggest fish in the sea is the whale shark,
which is known to be 46 feet.
(PEOPLE SHOUTING)
How's the tour going?
- Going well?
- Yeah.
(MICROPHONE FEEDING BACK)
Four million unemployed!
Four million unemployed!
Have you seen Paul?
I have to find out if he needs me to do anything
about those kids.
He was just here.
I wouldn't go down there if I was you.
She's found us.
You didn't know we were here, did you?
On our prototypes.
Okay, guys, let's roll.
Out the way, Lizzie.
We're going to have a little fun.
Run over a few cabinet ministers.
Paul arranged all this with you, didn't he?
- Where is Paul? I must find Paul.
- Haven't seen him.
MAN: He's down by the lake.
(PEOPLE WHOOPING)
All right, here we come!
(PEOPLE SHOUTING)
Lizzie, Lizzie, Lizzie, what's the matter?
Those kids have gone mad.
They're doing terrible damage.
Somebody's got to stop them!
No. They're not unemployed kids off the street.
They're hired trouble makers.
He's paid them to perform.
It's just them larking around.
Look, Paul likes to stir up the great and the good
sometimes, that's all, okay?
You've just got to calm down.
It's not as bad as it looks.
Lizzie, just enjoy yourself, please.
- Have you seen Paul?
- No.
No drugs make any difference. I am what I am.
Nothing can change that.
I know a couple of bishops
who really love this room.
Still, it's only paper, isn't it?
Doesn't matter in the end.
Get out! Get out of here!
(SCREAMING)
Get out! What the hell do you think you're doing?
(WOMAN SCREAMING)
Look out!
Come on, darling!
Get me the police, please.
Come on.
Please.
Shit. I can't find my driver.
Cunningham, will you wait?
Okay, Cunningham, time to step on it.
Let's get out of here.
- Are you crazy?
- Am I crazy?
What have you done? You can't call the police.
I have called the police.
Do you realise who's here?
Do you know who some of the guests are?
Somebody was going to get hurt.
I couldn't find you, I had to do something.
- It's a lie, Lizzie. It's not the real reason.
- Not the real reason? I see.
And what is the real reason?
The real reason is you want something
I can't give you and you can't forgive me for that.
It's not my fault that I can't... I don't wanna...
You really think this is about sex,
you arrogant shit.
It doesn't occur to you for one single moment,
does it, that not everybody finds you irresistible?
There was a fire, there was dangerous behaviour,
there were children at this party.
People were going to get really badly hurt.
Somebody had to take control.
So, I called the police,
and I suggest you go downstairs and talk to them.
Explain away your party.
And don't worry, I'm already leaving.
You will never see me again.
WILLIAM: Please, for heaven's sake.
I'm writing a book on English heretics.
If I keep up my current good progress,
I'll be finished in about three years.
Pick something, Oliver.
Choose something to keep.
There may not be another party for a while.
He's really quite cute though,
he kind of gets away with it.
- What does he get away with?
- They're quite nice.
- It's so nice.
- Do you think?
Yeah.
Have you ever been on holiday
with someone after two months?
Who is it?
It's my old boss.
- Are you sure it was him?
- I really don't want to talk about it.
Boys or something.
You know, like a boy band or...
Paul.
Hi.
- How are you?
- Great.
This is my business associate, Ken Tyler.
This is Lizzie.
Lizzie Thomas.
And this is Carol, Carol Drew. She works with me.
Hi, I'm Lizzie's assistant.
Well, they say you never bump into people
in London. People you know on the street.
- Apparently you do.
- I think we've disproved that.
- Are you living here now?
- On and off.
Got to go, Lizzie. We have a meeting, we're late.
- That's him? That was him?
- Don't look back.
Don't stare, Carol.
Come on, just walk, Carol. Just walk.
- It's not the first time you've seen him? Since...
- Yes.
Move this meeting to 5:00. That would help me.
(PHONE RINGING)
I'll answer that.
PAUL: Hello, Lizzie.
- It's Paul.
- Paul?
What're you doing?
What am I doing? You mean now? I'm working.
I'm round the corner.
Come and meet me for lunch.
Paul, I can't. I have a meeting.
Yes, of course you can, Lizzie.
I've been meaning to ask you to lunch
ever since we met in the street.
- That was 18 months ago, Paul.
- Yeah, I've been busy.
I'm in The Queen's Head, 81 Sunderland Avenue.
That's hardly round the corner,
and no, I can't come.
- I have to go to this meeting, it's important.
- Come on, Lizzie,
you'll only keep wondering about it
if you don't come.
(DRILLING MACHINE WHIRRING)
(SURRENDER BY SWING OUT SISTER
PLAYING ON JUKEBOX)
For a moment,
I thought you weren't gonna come in.
For a moment, I wasn't.
I ordered you a drink, I presumed...
You used to drink this.
Should I get you something else?
No, this is great.
There's no need to be nervous.
I'm not nervous.
So, how's the job?
- Venture capitalists. Are they performing well?
- It's interesting.
It could hardly fail to be, really, you know,
trying to guess the future, back winners.
Be ahead of events.
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
This is an interesting place to choose
to have lunch, Paul.
Yes, I come here often.
I was an arrogant shit when you worked for me.
But, you know, success,
like some lousy rock star, that's what it was.
It was so predictable. It went to my head...
you lose touch with who you were
because you can't quite believe
what's happened to you.
It's like you have to behave like that.
And I'm sorry.
I'm truly sorry.
- What's the matter?
- No.
I'm just surprised. I wasn't expecting that.
Well, you can go now, if you want.
The exciting bit's over.
I feel, you know,
if anybody should be saying sorry...
- Don't even start.
- Everything was so intense, so chaotic.
Maybe that's why all sorts of things
happened in history.
I talked to the press.
- I thought you'd never ever forgive me for that.
- It's in the past.
It's gone. It's completely gone, Lizzie.
You know, if you think about it,
pubs haven't really changed at all
in the last 60 years.
They should become a lot more feminine,
don't you think?
The feminisation of pubs.
Pink lights, soft lights...
You know, I should pitch that at work, shouldn't I?
I often think of you at work
because you were right, of course.
Computers.
We're just starting to get them in now,
and I wish I knew more than the guys
about how they work.
Wind power.
Not quite so big at the moment, but...
Do you want another round?
- You all right, Lizzie?
- Yeah, I was just...
I just had an amazing thought, fabulous notion.
- What are you doing, Paul, at the moment?
- This and that.
You know, that bastard you met
in the street with me was a disaster.
Sometimes I pick the wrong types.
But, you know,
I'm giving one or two things a whirl.
I've lost a bit of money, but I've still got enough.
You wouldn't... I can't believe I'm saying this,
you wouldn't join our firm?
- They wouldn't have me.
- Of course they would.
No one's better than you at reading the future.
You'd be brilliant for us.
The signing of the century.
Okay, it was a crazy idea.
It was just one of those things you blurt out.
I'd be honoured.
- Would you? Would you really?
- Yes.
Yeah, it'd be exciting to pick successes
in a more business-like environment.
- Are you sure?
- I am sure.
And you wouldn't have a problem, you know,
your ex-secretary being a...
being a sort of... equal?
It's a team business, Paul.
- You'd be on...
- On my best behaviour.
I promise.
I'd love to be part of your setup, Lizzie.
He's here.
Welcome, Paul.
I'll introduce you to everybody
when the moment is right.
You'll meet the whole floor.
A lot of names to digest in one go, I know,
especially, as we happen to have
five Lauras at the moment.
Laura T, and Laura B and Laura W,
and the other Lauras.
You'll get used to everything here very quickly.
You'll be seeing them all at our meetings.
Straight through there. That's your office.
I hope it's sufficient.
We don't go in for big private spaces.
In fact, we're in the middle of review.
This whole space is under review.
(PHONE RINGING)
We're gonna have our regular
Monday morning meeting in precisely 22 minutes.
See you there.
Since it's the first day, I'll forgive you.
You're not going to have those assistants
escort you to work every day, are you?
Certainly not.
They just wanted to see what
venture capitalists really look like.
Great view. I like it already.
- It's just a pity about the decor.
- What's wrong with it?
I like it.
Travelling light, I see.
Paul, you will come to all the meetings?
I know you're called a consultant,
but you will come?
I said you would.
- It's important here, because...
- It's a team.
It is a team.
I love teams.
A line of soup.
Farmyard. Wonderful smells.
A line of soup supported by a line of outlets.
A line of surprising seafood outlets.
Make the ocean do the talking.
Electric books are the things to be getting into.
Everybody knows they're gonna be taking over.
Reading books on screens,
pocket-sized electric books
can carry over 1,000 titles in one electric book.
One moment, you're in the middle of
David Copperfield,
you hit a bit of a slow patch, not to worry.
Now it's Portnoy's Complaint.
Mingle and edit. Edit and mingle.
A flaky, very flaky meal...
What I mean is, a homemade-looking snack,
that you eat walking along,
for the busy working woman.
A sort of English-Chinese roll,
but your mother could have made it.
Or else, a gadget...
- to turn the...
- Pages of your electric book.
That's right.
While you're in bed the book will be on a screen
and you can flick the pages
without ever having to touch any paper.
This is the future for entertainment.
You live inside it, you select where you go.
You're alive in 3D.
Nobody dictates where the story goes, you choose.
You are the film director, you are the storyteller.
You are the master.
It's great, isn't it?
People rather like to be told stories.
What happened?
Where did he go?
(LOUD, REPEATED BANGING)
- Is there anything you want?
- I just wondered what the noise was.
The noise is me.
(BUTTERWORTH CHUCKLING)
Well, whatever it takes.
We're restructuring as you can see
and not before time.
Our space is now communal.
No special desks, no ownership of surfaces.
As the work happens, the space happens.
We're all a team.
A unit that lives and breathes
in the same environment.
As open as the sky. Hm?
(LAUGHING LOUDLY)
(PHONE RINGING)
What's this about?
Why is he being such an arsehole?
I think you should give him his office back.
I think it's important to him.
I mean he is a sort of solitary thinker, isn't he?
That's his speciality.
(BUTTERWORTH YELLING)
I thought he was meant to be giving us
his great report.
- All his big ideas.
- Give him his office back and he will.
Thank you.
Any day now, Paul will be giving his report.
This better be worth waiting five months for.
As you know, over the past few months,
Paul has been working as a separate team.
A team of one, you might say,
which on occasions, has had added members,
but was essentially a focused project of his own.
And now we are going to hear
the fruits of his work.
What Paul thinks should be our priorities,
ideas we should be particularly concentrating on,
themes we should be alive to,
growth areas that are poised to explode.
Over to you, Paul.
Marcus, thank you.
I have one word for you.
When you say it out aloud,
it sounds like two words
but, of course, it's spelt as a single word.
So...
I've one word for you.
Bookshops.
Bookshops!
- And?
- And? There is no "and", Marcus.
Why should there be an "and"?
One pure idea is what you want.
There are very few bookshops.
A chain of quality bookshops,
that's what is needed.
Perhaps with a coffee shop tucked inside.
- Books and shops.
- And coffee?
Let the books do the talking.
Anyone wanting more details?
I will be available in my office.
(DOOR SHUTTING)
That shit, that fucker.
I'm too angry.
If I go anywhere near him now, I think I'll hit him.
He got his office back...
- for that!
- Don't worry.
I'll deal with it, I promise you.
LIZZIE: How dare you?
(DOOR BANGING SHUT)
How dare you?
PAUL: What have I done?
You just came here to disrupt everything,
didn't you?
You promised.
You promised me you wouldn't do this.
- That you'd behave yourself.
- And I have, haven't I?
I've been quiet. I haven't ordered people around.
I haven't thrown my weight about.
I've kept myself to myself.
I believed you, I supported you.
But you never had any intention
of working properly, did you?
You didn't need this job,
so you thought I'll just take the piss.
- Your idea of a little revenge?
- I don't know what I have done.
- I thought I'd been the perfect employee.
- Get out of here!
Get the fuck out of here now!
It's a good idea, you know, Lizzie.
The bookshops, it really is.
Five months' work.
That's meant to be five months' work, is it?
- It's a farce!
- You really want me to go?
I want you out of here in the next half hour.
- And take all this shit with you.
- Then I'll go.
I will go, Lizzie. No hard feelings.
That's what you think.
I just want you out of here, Paul!
Everybody's listening to this.
- Everybody's watching.
- You should get out of here, too, you know.
I'm not even going to bother to reply to that.
Because you really don't want to make a habit
of destroying everything you touch.
This was a pathetic idea of mine.
Thinking you could ever change.
It was the worst idea of my life.
And get rid of all these horrible old books, too.
Everything!
Just take everything!
That was a surprisingly good dinner.
The pudding was good, at least.
Did you hear the Home Secretary
saying she could be gone soon?
There are rumblings, rumblings.
Do you know what I think?
She's only done ten years,
she wants to do at least 20.
Always got your finger on the pulse,
haven't you, Neville?
I try. It's what I do best.
COYLE: Now, I would give you a lift,
but I am going in the other direction.
PAUL: William.
- Good dinner, was it, William?
- Paul!
- How are you, William?
- Good.
Well, keeping my head above water.
- Fancy seeing you on top of a bus.
- I like buses, remember?
The picnic, yeah, of course. Yeah, I like buses.
I mean, I'm much too mean
to take taxis all the time.
We must catch up some time very soon, Paul.
- I've got to get off here. This is my stop.
- Yes. Don't get off, William.
No, I've got to get off. This is my stop...
and there's somebody waiting for me to get home.
- Miss your stop.
- Miss my stop?
There's something I want to show you. It's not far.
Since you're here, and I'm here.
What've you got to lose?
I thought you said it wasn't far.
I don't believe I've agreed to do this.
We're nearly there, it'll be worth it.
"Was he following me?" Is that what you're...
You weren't, were you?
You weren't following me, surely not.
It's the end of the line! Paul!
Paul, you've taken me to the end of the line!
This is ridiculous.
What on earth are we doing here?
- A little eatery just here. Best food in London.
- I've already eaten.
- I'm absolutely stuffed with food.
- But you can always eat, William, can't you?
I need to call my girlfriend.
Come on, one of the only 24-hour eateries
in London.
It's amazing how few there are still.
A little surprise.
WILLIAM: Spooky place.
All that way for this?
You're right, I did have space for this.
It's good, very good.
So what did you want to show me?
That man.
- Recognise him?
- No, don't think so. Should I?
Look again.
No, I don't recognise him.
I've never seen him before.
That's Oliver.
Oliver?
Good Lord! Is it, him? Oliver.
Oliver.
What's the matter?
- Should I go over?
- No, leave him.
He keeps himself to himself.
If he wants to, he'll join us.
We both found this place separately.
- I've discovered it's full of people who can't sleep.
- You can't sleep?
- I find it difficult to, sometimes, yes.
- Is it?
- Is it because the money's gone?
- No, that's not important.
I gambled on a few things and lost, so what?
Got involved with the wrong people.
At least it was all my doing.
You hear some amazing stories in here.
People who were shafted
by their business partners,
lose their house, suddenly lose their job,
and are left by their wives,
all on the same weekend.
- Bumped into anyone else from the old days?
- You mean have I followed anybody else?
- I don't believe you are following me.
- Suit yourself.
I saw the Albert Brothers.
PAUL: I find it very interesting
the way people react to seeing me.
You have to admit it's fascinating,
especially, as I introduced them all to each other.
- And Lizzie?
- No, I haven't seen Lizzie.
Well, getting married very soon.
Yeah, big wedding.
- Got my invitation last week.
- Really? I haven't got mine.
Now she wouldn't, would she?
Paul, come on.
She wouldn't invite you to the wedding.
For Christ's sake, there's a feud going on
between you two, remember?
- There is no feud.
- All right, fine. Okay, if you say so.
I'll give her your best wishes, shall I,
for old times' sake?
Of course.
(BAND PLAYING SONG FOR WHOEVER)
- The Fotheringays.
- Peter Fotheringay.
Felicity Fotheringay.
Crumbs.
(PEOPLE APPLAUDING)
Paul.
We haven't seen you in so long.
Haven't we?
You look different somehow, you two.
Sure.
Sure, we're creating anarchy in the city now,
instead of the art world
and, well, got to look the part, haven't you?
So we can fleece them.
Paul?
- Goodness me! Fancy seeing you.
- Fancy?
Amazing, here we all are.
Together again.
Older, certainly.
- Wiser?
- Definitely not.
Is that you, Oliver?
Good lord, it is. Oliver.
How tall is the Archbishop of Canterbury?
- You know I am always holding you up.
- Holding me up?
I hold you up as the cleverest child I ever saw.
And why?
Because you took all of your exams
and passed with maximum marks.
You know, I was so wrong all those years ago.
We must measure and define always.
Checking a child's progress. Testing and testing.
- You're a government advisor now, aren't you?
- Chief educational advisor.
Discipline and creativity,
hand in hand, inextricably linked.
That's where we are now.
(HEAVEN IS A PLACE ON EARTH PLAYING)
Paul.
What are you doing here?
Don't make any trouble, please.
It's Lizzie's big day.
I'm here to cause trouble?
What gave you that idea?
Paul, a drink.
Isn't it great?
I think we've hired the most beautiful house
in England.
And the decor and everything.
It's amazing, don't you think?
I say that, and Lizzie did it all.
She did everything.
And it's a double celebration, too,
did you know that?
- She's just got this great new job, too.
- Yes, she has indeed.
AET, one of the biggest companies around.
I had a little hand in arranging that.
I made a few introductions.
See you later.
The groom.
Well, I better go and get ready,
study my little speech.
Paul?
Here by the water is fine,
but maybe not in the marquee, okay?
Don't worry. You don't have to guard me.
I'll stay rooted to this spot.
PAUL: Graham died, you know?
Remember, Graham, the poet?
Died of AIDS.
That's sad.
Poor chap.
Supper is served!
Ladies and gentlemen,
any moment the speeches will be descending,
so scrape those plates, lick those bowls.
Thank you.
I'm hungry.
Pardon me, is this finished?
- And my friend?
- Table three, yes.
Thank you very much.
Very nice, thank you.
We're not proud, we can scoop around.
- Paul?
- Lizzie.
Paul, please.
- Please?
- Don't make trouble.
Why should I make trouble?
I'm very happy for you.
All your other ex-bosses are here,
and it's good to have a ghost at a wedding.
My parents are here.
That's them over there.
I want it to be special for them.
Sorry. Thought I'd make a phone call.
Lugging this great thing around.
Lizzie and you are going to work together,
I gather.
- That's correct.
- It's a great hippo.
- Excuse me?
- AET.
A great hippo.
Big, heavy company, awkward, loads of divisions
waddling slowly, but...
it's a great thing to be a hippo,
very difficult to destroy.
Quite.
- Never heard it put like that before.
- Paul likes animals.
Paul and I used to work together.
He was my mentor.
Paul, please.
I'm sorry, I am.
That I borrowed the ideas
for the decorations from the old days,
although I did help with them, too, back then.
But I know how it must appear to you.
I'm sorry I didn't invite you.
I wasn't brave enough.
I didn't know what you would do. But please.
Please don't ruin my wedding.
Not in front of my parents, my new boss.
- Please, Paul.
- You really think I would?
I don't know.
- You're capable of anything, Paul.
- I knew you'd invite everybody.
I wanted to see what they'd look like now.
I'm here because of them, really.
And I wanted to wish you well, of course.
- I mean it, Lizzie.
- Thanks. You've done that, okay? Now, please...
Jesus!
This is a nightmare, this is horrible.
Paul, please, I'm begging you.
I would kneel if I could in this dress.
Lizzie? Hello, Lizzie.
We must have the bride back soon, Lizzie.
So back here, please.
The ordeal of the speeches beckons.
Look, please, Paul. Don't ruin things.
Maybe you think I deserve that, maybe I do,
but please...
Sure, whatever you want.
I don't want to cause any problems.
I just have a notion I wanna put to you.
- A business proposition.
- Absolutely.
I'll call you.
- You'll call me?
- I will, I promise.
I'll call as soon as we get back
from our honeymoon.
Now I want to hear what you have to say.
If you go now, I promise I will call you.
I absolutely promise.
(DOOR OPENING)
- Your 12:30 is here.
- Good. Show him straight in, Diana.
(LOUD DRONING)
William, what've you done to yourself?
I don't know.
I was in bed, merely sleeping, I hasten to say,
and it's age, I think.
So, are we having lunch here or out?
(LOUD DRONING CONTINUES)
No, certainly not here, not with all this going on.
They're redoing all the offices.
We're almost the last one left like this.
Soon be gone.
What a pity.
It suits this mighty organisation...
especially those lamps.
Your book is a great success, isn't it?
Well, it's just easy to read history, really.
Why we won the war.
I'm doing a book of political gossip, too.
The Blob said he would feed me
lots of useful things.
Talking of gossip,
have you ever been in touch with...
(LOUD DRONING CONTINUES)
Have you been in touch
with Paul since the wedding?
(MOUTHING)
Paul. Have you been in touch with...
- Do you ever call him?
- No.
I keep meaning to pick up the phone.
Yes, well, as the years go by,
it must get more difficult.
(DRONING CONTINUES)
How can you work in this?
A new look.
Yes, well, I suppose,
we must all succumb eventually.
- I've just seen a ghost.
- Hm?
They look unmistakeably
like management consultants to me.
Usual thing, isn't it?
When everyone's made to reapply for their jobs.
More young people sent along to fuck up our lives.
I must discover once and for all
who gave them permission to start doing that.
We're ready for you, Ms Thomas.
So.
We have met before.
Don't know if you remember.
I do remember.
That was in another life.
I should never have agreed
to let these lights stay.
"Oh, keep the original fittings,
they're charming," they said.
Well, I hate them.
Must get them removed immediately.
Now...
Simone and I are grateful for your cooperation
and for the time you've let us sit in on your work.
It has all made sense.
- It all made sense?
- There is just one other matter.
We've noticed, checking your CV,
sometime ago you talked to the press,
immediately after having left the employment
of a Mr Paul Reynolds.
Would you like to comment on that?
I shouldn't have done that.
There was no confidentiality clause in my contract
then, but even so, I should never have done that.
You have to understand it was a different age.
It was like the end of something really,
rather reprehensible.
It was the last dregs of that '70s-style anarchy.
I don't know
if that's an excuse for what I did, but...
But that's what it was.
Bye.
I'll call you back, Willie.
Lizzie, please take a seat.
I'm delighted to say
we'd very much like you to join our team.
Great.
There going to be
some very considerable changes,
and I have to warn you
that everything that is discussed between us
will be in the utmost confidence,
can only be discussed
between the individuals in this room,
and with no one else under any circumstances.
Now to prepare for this, I suggest you...
take the rest of the week off
while some of the people less fortunate
than yourself are leaving.
- Right.
- And do something
you've always meant to do in the next few days.
Get as far away as possible from the office...
and come back refreshed.
Hello?
Hello?
She's here! The lady is here!
Hi, everybody.
Rachel, after all these years, and Angela, too.
It's amazing to see you.
We thought you'd never come.
Paul.
- How do I get across? Is there any other way?
- No.
No other way. Stay there, Lizzie, don't move.
(INAUDIBLE)
Might have guessed it would be
an obstacle course, coming to see you, Paul.
You have to dress for the country,
didn't anyone tell you?
Why do I always feel overdressed
every time I see you?
I had no idea you had a family.
As you can see, I never do things by halves.
It's just such a surprise.
I never ever pictured you as a family man.
Are they, er?
- Are they?
- From both women?
- Yes.
- I think so.
Yes, they are, of course.
You and your harem.
Got yourself another Eden here, haven't you?
Far away from everything.
Do you know there's been an election?
That after all these years Labour has got in,
or are you completely out of touch?
- The lady has come.
- Kids make way!
It better be warm.
We're coming in, make way.
- Anybody in our way gets flattened.
- You don't want to get flattened.
How lovely.
Never thought you'd see me here, too.
Never thought I'd last the distance.
- You busy?
- Yes.
About to be fantastically busy.
Don't let them kill the big beast, remember.
Your company.
Its spread is what makes it great.
- Who's the lady?
- This lady?
This lady here...
- she's my sister.
- No, why did you say that?
Come on in, Lizzie.
Come on, it's great.
Thinking just because she's disabled,
doesn't mean she should have to share a lover?
No, I wasn't. You don't always know my thoughts.
I was thinking she looks happy.
Jesus.
Here we all are.
Redfern at the picnic.
The Blob, Oliver with his sparkler.
You always keep the past with you,
wherever you are, I've noticed that.
- Whatever happened to the crocodile?
- He lives in Norway now.
In luxury.
Never did tell me
why you were so interested in the crocodile.
- Why he was eighth on the list?
- Simple.
Big asteroid hits the Earth, end of all dinosaurs.
But wait a minute,
there's a huge reptile
that survives totally unchanged.
Survives the Big Bang,
just the same now
as he was 200 million years ago.
How did he manage it?
Find that out
and you could've found the secret of life.
And how are you going to find that out
just by keeping him in a tank?
Using dreamtime, remember?
Kind of important, isn't it?
- Do you have time to think, Lizzie?
- Of course I do.
This is the place for thinking.
You should give it a try sometime,
it might have extraordinary results.
Now stop trying to wind me up, Paul.
You always have an amazing knack
of making me feel uncomfortable.
I think I've got a message from work.
I may need to get back to London early.
You don't have to go in the hot tub, you know.
Would you stay,
if you didn't have to go into the tub?
No, I just need to get back to London, okay?
This is work.
Great changes are happening.
- Why did you say I was your sister?
- Aren't we brother and sister, Lizzie?
If you mean we were always fighting,
yeah, we certainly did that.
- We managed that okay.
- All right, you don't have to get angry.
There's no need to get uptight.
You know I never really saw you as a hippy, Paul.
I never ever imagined you'd settle for that.
It's such an easy option.
It's all right.
You don't have to say, "I'll call you," this time.
If you want to, just say,
"I'll see you in another eight years."
Ah, there you are.
I'm not late, am I? I hope I'm not late.
We'll do this tour very quickly.
It is obvious why we're here,
and it'll get even more obvious.
Good morning.
Morning.
Good morning, ladies.
Perhaps, later, ladies. Thank you.
I need a moment alone with my team. Thank you.
I have to say this now,
because it's all the more powerful,
while we are in amongst it.
This is the past, everybody. This is over.
We will be ridding ourselves of all these factories.
We make everything from these vacuum cleaners
to lamp posts, from soap to helicopters.
It's ridiculous. It will all be shed.
It's been due for years and now,
at last, we can do it.
Not a word of this, of course.
Not yet, not a single word.
Who's going to tell them?
And when?
Jesus. We're buying all this?
Sorry, talking to myself.
No, leave it on.
Helps me to concentrate.
Everything on this list is going.
Everything on this list is a potential purchase.
And at last we've got a replacement for those.
Managed to survive a year longer than I wanted,
but the end is in sight now.
We will be buying every internet
and every telecom company
we can lay our hands on.
We have a huge cash cow
and now we are going to milk it.
The share price will be 16, 17 within a year.
There will be the most dramatic growth
in the company's history,
- perhaps, in any company's history.
- It's amazing what we are buying...
but are we going to spread the risk?
If they're all internet and telecom companies,
if things were to slow...
Telecom is an energy force unlike any other.
It cannot slow.
You know, of course, this plan is bollocks.
(GLASS SHATTERING)
Why does this give me such pleasure, Lizzie?
Because we were being so slow.
So very slow to take action,
to get this company to join the real world.
REPORTER: They believe inside this reptile may be
one of the strongest antibiotics in existence.
A defence mechanism so powerful
it kills all forms of bacteria.
The question that has puzzled many researchers
is why crocodiles never die
from the wounds they receive
from the frequent fights they indulge in?
Be there, Paul.
Something truly remarkable seems to exist...
Answer the phone, Paul.
Studying these results,
I want to issue a health warning.
Just looking at them that will seem as if
some of our acquisitions are not performing.
There's a slowdown in the telecom sector,
but this is because
we're in a process of transition.
We're in the middle of the cycle.
PAUL: The only thing these need is a little tweak.
BOSS: Things are not as they seem.
A little redesign.
A little poke and a prod,
and we are set for the 21 st century.
People will always need to clean their homes.
We have a future!
BOSS: We are taking a deliberate...
Gentlemen, this bowl is a Fear Bowl.
People in years to come will look at this
in bewilderment,
because it is a power bowl, a terror bowl,
a bowl guaranteed to make people more stupid.
Why did you agree to this, Lizzie?
BOSS: Lizzie? Lizzie?
Lizzie, are you with us?
Have we thought enough about
what we are doing?
- Thought enough?
- We're pouring money away.
We've sold off 75 of our businesses.
Sometimes giving them only a day's notice
of what's happening to them.
We're now thinking of making another
The share price is in freefall.
So, yes, I'm just wondering,
have we been doing enough thinking, gentlemen?
We all committed to this strategy.
There's no turning back, naturally.
There's no possibility for second thoughts.
Remember, the results are not what they seem.
- It's time for the meeting, I do realise.
- Yes.
You know, I just heard on the radio...
the share price has gone under a pound.
Now just 75 pence.
How could that happen?
I know.
But not everything is what it seems.
but it is not what it seems.
BOSS: Once the full business cycle is played out,
then we will be in a much stronger position
than we ever were before.
WOMAN: When will the whole cycle
have taken place?
Well, it is difficult to be precise.
These results cannot be taken...
It's amazing what they've done.
Completely incredible.
One of the biggest companies in Europe
has been destroyed in just under two years.
It is a train wreck, staggering in its ineptitude.
How could clever people be so stupid?
Many people will be ruined, their life savings.
I know you'll understand...
I've lost thousands and thousands.
There is a limit to what I can say at this juncture.
A lot of business to do.
In fact, I have a very important meeting
to attend, right now.
(CLAMOUR OF DISCONTENTED VOICES)
In no sense a crisis meeting,
but which is one I must travel to right away.
There will be a full statement
in due course, I promise you.
Nobody is trying to evade or run away
from anything.
(INDISTINCT)
(INDISTINCT)
This way, Ms Thomas, I must take you to the car.
(REPORTERS SHOUTING)
No, just give me a moment.
I'm here, ladies and gentlemen...
to tell you that we fully intend to face up to
what has happened...
and explain it with the utmost clarity.
We were...
We are the custodians of a great company.
A very great company.
And if mistakes have been made...
I, for one, will not shirk my responsibility.
Lizzie, what about all the people who lost money?
What about the 20,000 people
who lost their jobs?
I have nothing further to add.
(CLAMOURING VOICES)
(INAUDIBLE OVER SHOUTING)
(WHIMPERING)
(REPORTERS SHOUTING)
No more questions.
She'll not be making any more statements.
Look, she's already said everything
she's going to say to you.
Would you leave?
Lizzie!
Lizzie, it's Paul!
You're going...
You're going to say, "I told you so,"
and I can't bear that.
- I can't bear to hear that, Paul.
- Would I say that?
Yes, you fucking would. Of course you would.
And I can't believe, I can't believe what I've done.
I could see it all happening.
The amazing stupidity of it all
and I couldn't do anything.
I couldn't stop it.
You once said I destroy everything I touch.
- You haven't destroyed anything.
- I was party to it, I agreed.
I sat there, I was with them.
I saw all those people lose their jobs.
And when everything was going wrong,
I couldn't find you, you bastard.
I couldn't get in touch.
Even when I saw about the crocodile.
I've moved, that's why you couldn't find me.
I've left the farm.
You were right. Being a hippy was far too easy.
Now, I hear you're making money again.
Your chain of bookshops is doing okay.
So you can watch all this feeling really good,
because you got it right, didn't you?
Jesus, Paul.
I don't want to have to think about you every day
for the rest of my life, saying,
"I got it right, didn't I, Lizzie?"
I can think of worse punishments.
And what is this, Paul? You and me.
I just don't understand.
You know, I love my husband.
He's sitting watching me...
talking to a man,
talking to a man he doesn't even know.
Talking like this, and I love him.
I really love him, and I don't love you.
Not in that way.
- I've never loved you in that way.
- I know.
Then why is it that
I think about you so much?
Why is it that often,
you're the first thing I think of in the morning?
When I wake, you know?
What would Paul say about this,
about what I'm about to do?
What would Paul feel about that?
What's that called, Paul?
Going bonkers, probably.
Why is it happening?
Because we were born to work together
but we couldn't manage it.
And we can't stop thinking about it.
- And that's my fault, I suppose?
- Absolutely not.
People need to work with other people
that challenge them, that threaten them,
but they'll never ever let themselves work
with such people.
It was me who didn't let that happen.
You stayed as long as you could.
Why is it that whenever I think about that
bloody garden, it seems so magical?
So special?
It hurts that we didn't do more. It really hurts me.
Because sometimes I think
that we could have done so much.
- Lizzie.
- And yet, no listen to this, it was hell at the time.
You know, that was the reality,
it was hell, wasn't it?
There were hellish moments
and not such hellish moments,
it depends what you like to remember.
What is all this tactful stuff?
This diplomatic bollocks.
I'm curled up here in a ball,
thinking my life is over
and you're giving me all this bland shit.
You should tell me what you really think.
You know what I think, Lizzie?
I think we should work together.
- I've thought that for ages.
- Why?
It's only ever been a disaster.
I just feel so foolish, Paul.
So incredibly foolish.
So many "if onlys"...
so many fucking "if onlys".
I've moved into an old school. I'm doing it up.
And I'm having a party.
I think you should come.
All in the fire. There's more here.
There's a whole school full of wood
to be burnt so keep going.
Throw it all on, that's it.
I'm glad you could come.
Lizzie.
Have something to throw in the fire.
Hey, that's it.
Los hermanos Albertos.
Sweetheart, I think the Blob needs an assistant.
Come on, here we go,
the lovely assistant for the Blob.
Take you off to see your mummy.
Got them all doing some work for a change.
I was thinking...
you gave most of them a start in their careers,
and then I came along
and lost them all their money.
I don't think I'll argue with that.
Or I could say we both blew it.
The boss and the secretary.
I want to ask you one question and only one,
don't answer too quick, promise.
Hm-mm.
All those years ago...
could it have been any different, what happened?
I mean our work together?
No.
That was much too quick.
You didn't even think about it.
No, I don't have to
because we do best on the phone.
Now with e-mail, we could set up a business
and we need never ever be in the same room.
We need never ever see each other,
if we don't want.
Just think, Lizzie...
we'd be unstoppable, now.
- Now, we'd be unbeatable.
- You're incorrigible, Paul.
Is that, "Go on tell me more. I'm intrigued?"
It might be.
(INAUDIBLE)
Don't tell anyone yet...
I'm on the last page of my book.
(PEOPLE CHEERING AND APPLAUDING)
Does anybody want to ask me a question
while we are doing this?
Any question you like. I'll get it.
Okay, what was the first ever vessel to pass
through the Panama Canal?
That's too difficult. Even for me, but...
I can tell you the day of the week
they opened the Panama Canal.
It was a Tuesday.
Yes, William? I won't be a moment. William?
I've just rung to say that Paul is here.
- Paul?
- Yes, right now.
Paul is here.
Paul is with you?
Not actually with me, no.
He's outside the door, waiting for me.
He looks extraordinary, too.
He looks like he has been living in a cave.
You've no idea what he wants?
- Why he might want to see me?
- No.
Not a clue.
Paul, is it you?
It is you. How extraordinary, after all this time.
It is me, yes.
- How goes it?
- It goes well, I think.
Very well. And with you? You look...
- Like shit?
- No, of course not.
Different. Tiny bit different.
- Busy, are you?
- Very busy.
Always busy, stirring away at this and that.
- You weren't looking for me, were you, Paul?
- Of course.
- Why were you doing that?
- I think it's time you paid me a visit.
You haven't seen where I am living now,
have you?
No, that would be good.
And, yes, can't wait to see that.
Look, Paul, I'm running late as it is,
and I've got a very important meeting.
Very important.
And as you can see, the meter is running.
And I'm very uncharacteristically paying
for this taxi. So, I'll call you tomorrow?
- Same number, isn't it?
- Yes.
Yeah, I'll call tomorrow without fail.
Go. Go now to the Savoy, go.
Come on, what are you waiting for? Go.
Hello. This is Charlie.
Now I was just explaining to Charlie
that in Saxon England,
there was actually no word for "woman".
It was just "man" and "man".
You believe me? It's a joke.
Marvellous. Absolutely marvellous!
There are facts in here
that will make your hair stand on end.
WILLIAM: There she is.
Always on time.
Regular as clockwork.
Nobody seems to have noticed her except me.
Ingrid, the man, was left for...
Hello. And what's your name?
- Yasmin.
- Yasmin? Now, Yasmin's a good name.
- Hi.
- Hello.
You walk by here all the time.
That's right. It's my lunch hour.
- I'm Paul. Paul Reynolds, by the way.
- I know.
And that's your home. I know that, too.
And these are all your grounds,
as far as you can see.
But this is a right of way, isn't it?
- I'm all right here, aren't I?
- Yes, of course.
You're free to go wherever on my land,
whenever you want.
Thanks.
- And you are?
- Lizzie.
Lizzie Thomas.
I work in an estate agent in Ashbourne.
So, I know all about your property,
I should say "properties".
I read about you
buying this building and that building.
You don't want a drink? Or a little food?
- Or a job?
- No, thanks. None of those.
Not today, but maybe...
- I've a selection of possibilities.
- I have got to go if I want to finish my walk.
I can't be late back for work.
Will she look back?
I bet she doesn't look back.
All our W's in the right place, are they?
All our R's nice and perky, are they?
I think we have a tiny bit of slippage here,
haven't we?
All our F's and K's in good order, are they?
No keys getting stuck?
I know this customer.
Mrs Wheeler will see to the customer,
thank you very much.
- What are you doing here?
- Come and work for me.
- As what?
- As my secretary, at first.
- At first? That sounds dangerous.
- No, it doesn't.
It's exactly what it seems.
Personal Assistant. I need one.
- You must have loads of secretaries.
- At this precise moment, there's nobody.
And why is that?
You'll see, I expect,
when you come and work for me.
Enough chat, Lizzie. Back to work.
Mrs Wheeler, see to the gentleman.
What've you got to lose?
I'll start in a month.
- It's too late.
- That's my offer.
Take it or leave it.
(PEOPLE TALKING)
(PEOPLE LAUGHING)
Here she is.
With her typewriter.
She looks the business.
WILLIAM: It's the Albert brothers. They're artists.
(TYPEWRITER CLACKING)
Actually, they're not really brothers, as it happens.
They just think it's a more handy label
for when they become famous.
The Albert Brothers.
It's not bad, actually.
There's a couple of old aristos,
members of the House of Lords.
You don't need to worry about them.
That's Neville Coyle. He's making his name
as a brilliant right-wing thinker.
He's always very pale. Baby-smooth complexion.
I call him The Blob. He's one to watch.
(TYPEWRITER CLACKING)
Then it's Francis Butterworth,
the magnificent scholar of Medieval History.
He's only ever written one book in his life,
but another is expected sometime soon.
There's Redfern, of course. He's a revolutionary.
Has very radical ideas,
how to teach children how they should
play in the woods until they're at least 12.
Never take exams.
Paul collects people that interest him...
and then lets them do whatever they want.
- And now he has collected you.
- No.
I'm just the secretary. That is quite different.
Graham.
He's a poet, and a homosexual.
Quiet bloke, but he makes no secret of it.
Then, of course, there's William Sneath...
me.
Who, for some reason caught Paul's eye
like everyone else here...
and is hoping to prosper just by being near him.
Each party is bigger than the last.
You'll just have to hope you're not here
when he holds the next one. It's a lot to organise.
Those are great decorations.
Why don't any of his secretaries last?
I wouldn't know, would I?
Nearly there.
Sorry?
I mean you've nearly reached the room
where you'll work. Come on.
- Will this do?
- Of course.
It's so good you're here.
When do you want me here tomorrow?
When do we start?
- 8.30? 9:00?
- No, there's no rush.
There's never any rush.
(MAN SHOUTING)
(BELL RINGING)
(RINGING CONTINUES)
(DEEP VOICE) Lizzie!
(RINGING STOPS)
Come in.
Oh, I am... I'm so sorry. I'm...
- I thought somebody was calling me.
- WOMAN: It was me.
(BELL RINGING)
(DEEP VOICE) Lizzie!
(GIRLS LAUGHING)
- I'll be back in my office, if you want me.
- No, there's no need to go back there.
- What can he have in mind?
- Don't! Christine! Shh!
Please, I want to talk to you.
Wait for me in the long gallery.
Please, okay? There's a nice spread there
of fruit and coffee and... Okay? I'll be out...
Stop it! Stop. Christine, stop it!
I'll be out in less than a minute.
I'm so sorry.
- Everything took much longer than we expected.
- Which isn't always the case, is it?
It is all clear now. He's ready for you.
You can go in now.
That was unforgivable, I know.
- I'm sorry.
- Was that some sort of test?
'Cause if it was, I really hope I failed it.
Well, we really should do some work
before you leave.
Let me show you something.
Come over here.
Here is everything I intend to do.
All my plans are here.
- The future is in this room.
- The future?
You can find it in all this mess?
Usually. Most days.
I've been lucky, so far.
You know, with property.
Buying this building, selling that building.
I've made pots of money
without ever having to think too deeply about it.
But in here...
In here, this is what I really want to do.
The list of the top ten projects.
What I plan for the next few years.
A city centre I have a great scheme for,
many other things, not just buildings.
- And then there are the windmills.
- Wind power, something I am very interested in.
Am I Don Quixote?
Not quite sure, yet.
I need a little help with this, as you can see.
(WATER LAPPING)
Someone who'll crack the whip.
Get it organised.
(WATER LAPPING)
(LIZZIE GASPING)
And I'm interested in crocodiles, too.
- Why?
- I'll explain later. It's only eighth on the list.
You'll stay?
- Help me make all this come true?
- We'll work normal hours?
Of course. I'm not quite as lazy as I seem.
We'll work ultra normal hours.
The most conventional hours we can find.
- Not too many parties?
- No parties. Definitely not.
I don't want to hold any more. I promise.
Not for a long while.
I thought I might make each project colour-coded.
Give it its own colour,
so we'll know immediately where it is.
It's terrific.
A code in colour.
It's great.
MAN: (TEASING) She's coming.
The secretary is a-coming.
Lizzie?
Always in such a hurry.
- Morning.
- Hi.
There are eight letters from America...
- and one from Poland.
- Thank you, Lizzie.
Nice day.
(WHISTLING)
Come on.
(PEOPLE CHEERING AND LAUGHING)
(SNORING)
Just got to a difficult part...
in my book...
just struggling with it, as you can see.
Competitive sport's
going to become a thing of the past.
Don't you know?
I'm founding a society dedicated to it.
NOSCP.
"Noscp."
No School Competitions.
REPORTER: (ON TV)
More than 100 white and coloured youths
fought a pitched battle against the police.
Some were as young as 12,
the oldest no more than 20.
It lasted for eight hours and at the end of it
Merseyside's chief constable
said it was a planned attack.
"We were set up,"he said.
(WHISPERING) Whatever you do,
don't disturb the assistant.
And still the bricks, stones and lumps of iron
were thrown, worst of all, the petrol bombs.
And against all this,
riot shields and visors were not enough.
(VOLUME DECREASING)
Always working.
Always buried in Paul's papers.
Yes, there are some really great ideas in here.
So, you see blue for instance,
is the wind, the windmills.
Everything to do with wind power, that's blue.
We can see where all that is now, at a glance.
It's magical.
Spectacular.
I never thought the room could look like this.
It's great.
So we're ready then, for the next stage?
Making these things happen?
Yeah, we are. Absolutely.
There is just one other colour before then.
- This colour.
- And what's that?
It's my birthday in a couple of weeks.
I thought I'd hold a picnic.
- Come on, Lizzie, don't look like that.
- No.
It's not a party.
No. But you must think I'm an awful killjoy,
which I'm not. It's just that...
- I thought we were going to really start.
- We are, I promise.
After one very small, everyday picnic.
LIZZIE: It's ready.
(GONG SOUNDING)
(PEOPLE CHUCKLING HEARTILY)
ALL: One, two, three.
ALL: Whoo!
My sister's enjoying herself.
Good luck to her.
She's been disabled from birth, you know.
But look at all the rest of them,
snouts in their hampers...
gobble, gobble, gobble.
They can't believe their luck, can they?
I think I will make the toast.
(GLASS TINKLING)
The toast.
Surely the time is right for the birthday toast.
The politician. Of course, it has to be him
who thinks of the toast first.
To Paul, on his birthday.
No number. Don't put a number on it.
His age, very unlucky.
We're all very aware of how privileged we are
to receive such hospitality,
in what must be
one of the most beautiful settings in the world.
We second that.
To Paul, the maestro.
The only patron
that we would accept a patronage from.
I endorse all of that and more,
because if it wasn't for you,
I would still be on the local paper.
This is pathetic. I'll show you how to do it.
What we should be saying...
PAUL: (LAUGHING) Here he comes.
...is this.
Paul...
you have vision, vision beyond your years...
because with you, there're no structures.
Freedom,
dreamtime,
daydreams and night dreams,
space.
The only thinking environment that makes sense.
You young people here,
do not forget this moment...
because I do not kneel before you, Paul...
but I do teeter.
You are the one and only
and we are truly, truly grateful.
- To Paul!
- ALL: To Paul!
That's quite enough of that, all of you.
But thank you.
Thank you.
Right. Now, I think you need a bit of waking up.
I've bought myself a little present.
Lizzie.
MAN: Oh my God!
All aboard!
Room upstairs.
All aboard.
Hurry up!
Hey, you know the route?
Because of the weight of the bus,
we have to keep to the main avenue.
- You do understand?
- I hear you, Lizzie.
Otherwise, it'll get stuck.
- The 98. All the way to Maida Vale.
- Maida Vale!
- Quiet, everyone.
- Well done.
(BUS HORN TOOTING)
(WHOOPING AND CHEERING)
Never has a bus been so full of talent.
What the hell is he doing?
Hold on!
(PEOPLE GASPING)
(PEOPLE GASPING)
That was the best bus ride ever.
It's stuck, Lizzie. Don't worry about it.
(PEOPLE CHUCKLING)
- We can't move it.
- I like it like that.
- Somebody could have got badly hurt.
- I've always wanted to drive a London bus.
I got a bit carried away.
- Some people had fun.
- LIZZIE: Of course, that explains it all.
I don't belong here, do I?
- I really don't.
- That's exactly why I want you here, Lizzie.
- To bully me, cause me grief.
- That's a really great job, Paul.
Find somebody else to kick your arse.
I am working all the time in here...
going over and over things,
and sometimes I just need to let rip,
so I can start again.
There's a room you have never seen.
Let me show it to you.
Please meet me there tomorrow morning.
I'm here.
- Are you going to stay over there all the time?
- Depends what you've got to show me.
I see you've got him a new tank.
Is that what you wanted me to see?
His new home?
No.
Those shops are the first thing I bought,
at the age of twenty-one.
My father was a Dagenham car worker.
I was determined not to do that, not to work there.
I saw these derelict shops, all along a high street.
I formed a consortium, I bought the lot.
The whole of the empire
comes from that first purchase.
All that work, and now you can drive a London bus
around your estate.
And out there is all the work you've done,
everything beautifully colour-coded.
Would you work with me to bring all that stuff
out there, into here? Into this?
Channel it into an action plan.
You'll know all about my finances.
You'll sit in at meetings
with my financial advisers.
You'll see the way things are prioritised,
what figures are set aside for which projects.
You will be able to read all my thoughts...
in here.
Nobody has been allowed to do that before.
And I'll give you a raise. I'll double your salary.
Come on, why not? I want to show you I can work.
And you'll tell me about the crocodile?
Maybe.
(TYPEWRITER CLACKING)
Coffee. Get me some coffee.
Since you're working, I will.
- One day, Lizzie, you'll run a major corporation.
- Oh, yeah.
Computers. I should buy a computer.
I don't like them.
Get into computers, Lizzie,
don't let the blokes make it their preserve.
You know, in the early days of computers,
and not so long ago, too,
there were lots of women,
they understood them better than men,
because it was considered as lowly as typing.
(TAPPING ON BOOK)
(WHISPERING) I think we're there.
The future is planned...
and what's more, it's costed.
We've finished.
Not quite.
- You haven't told me about the crocodile.
- I will...
and I want to hear your opinion of all of this.
But first we must celebrate.
- Must we?
- I've had this house for five years.
You've been here nearly a year.
That must mean it's time for a party.
I wondered when that was coming. A small party?
No. I'm going to invite
absolutely everybody I know.
- We'll need the whole county to house that lot.
- No, we'll draw up the list together.
And once it is agreed, no one will be added.
I promise.
You all know where you are going to be,
you've got your positions.
So keep to them, don't wander off.
Concentrate all the time.
Now, coming to this party is everybody
from Cabinet ministers to small children.
I'm sure we'll all be able to tell the difference,
but just in case,
there's a full list I'm putting up here
of everybody that's coming.
Lizzie.
You can't wear that.
Why not?
- I'm one of the staff. I'm not a guest.
- Don't be stupid, don't be really idiotic.
You run this place.
Go on, go and put something really great on.
(SINGING)
Wonderful sight, isn't it?
You look wonderful, too.
Now.
He really has turned into Gatsby.
And you've arranged everything brilliantly, Lizzie.
- Thanks.
- God.
Hello, sir. Very good to see you.
Five bishops, three members of the cabinet,
at least.
And I don't need to tell you
who everybody is any more, do I?
I better get over there, hadn't I?
Do myself some good.
Too perfect an opportunity. Got to tuck in.
(VEHICLES HONKING)
Make way!
Make way for the unemployed.
Get all of these people out of here,
please, at once.
They're not coming in here, they're not on the list.
- Oh, really?
...something private as well.
- Please, come in.
- Yes!
Don't worry, this is a party for everyone.
It'll be fine.
My parties need a surprise element
to keep them fresh.
Everybody in.
This boy is the cleverest person at this party.
Ask him anything. No matter how obscure...
Oliver will know. He's like Mr Memory.
How tall is the Archbishop of Canterbury?
The Archbishop of Canterbury is very tall.
I think over 6'3".
And what is the biggest fish in the sea?
The biggest fish in the sea is the whale shark,
which is known to be 46 feet.
(PEOPLE SHOUTING)
How's the tour going?
- Going well?
- Yeah.
(MICROPHONE FEEDING BACK)
Four million unemployed!
Four million unemployed!
Have you seen Paul?
I have to find out if he needs me to do anything
about those kids.
He was just here.
I wouldn't go down there if I was you.
She's found us.
You didn't know we were here, did you?
On our prototypes.
Okay, guys, let's roll.
Out the way, Lizzie.
We're going to have a little fun.
Run over a few cabinet ministers.
Paul arranged all this with you, didn't he?
- Where is Paul? I must find Paul.
- Haven't seen him.
MAN: He's down by the lake.
(PEOPLE WHOOPING)
All right, here we come!
(PEOPLE SHOUTING)
Lizzie, Lizzie, Lizzie, what's the matter?
Those kids have gone mad.
They're doing terrible damage.
Somebody's got to stop them!
No. They're not unemployed kids off the street.
They're hired trouble makers.
He's paid them to perform.
It's just them larking around.
Look, Paul likes to stir up the great and the good
sometimes, that's all, okay?
You've just got to calm down.
It's not as bad as it looks.
Lizzie, just enjoy yourself, please.
- Have you seen Paul?
- No.
No drugs make any difference. I am what I am.
Nothing can change that.
I know a couple of bishops
who really love this room.
Still, it's only paper, isn't it?
Doesn't matter in the end.
Get out! Get out of here!
(SCREAMING)
Get out! What the hell do you think you're doing?
(WOMAN SCREAMING)
Look out!
Come on, darling!
Get me the police, please.
Come on.
Please.
Shit. I can't find my driver.
Cunningham, will you wait?
Okay, Cunningham, time to step on it.
Let's get out of here.
- Are you crazy?
- Am I crazy?
What have you done? You can't call the police.
I have called the police.
Do you realise who's here?
Do you know who some of the guests are?
Somebody was going to get hurt.
I couldn't find you, I had to do something.
- It's a lie, Lizzie. It's not the real reason.
- Not the real reason? I see.
And what is the real reason?
The real reason is you want something
I can't give you and you can't forgive me for that.
It's not my fault that I can't... I don't wanna...
You really think this is about sex,
you arrogant shit.
It doesn't occur to you for one single moment,
does it, that not everybody finds you irresistible?
There was a fire, there was dangerous behaviour,
there were children at this party.
People were going to get really badly hurt.
Somebody had to take control.
So, I called the police,
and I suggest you go downstairs and talk to them.
Explain away your party.
And don't worry, I'm already leaving.
You will never see me again.
WILLIAM: Please, for heaven's sake.
I'm writing a book on English heretics.
If I keep up my current good progress,
I'll be finished in about three years.
Pick something, Oliver.
Choose something to keep.
There may not be another party for a while.
He's really quite cute though,
he kind of gets away with it.
- What does he get away with?
- They're quite nice.
- It's so nice.
- Do you think?
Yeah.
Have you ever been on holiday
with someone after two months?
Who is it?
It's my old boss.
- Are you sure it was him?
- I really don't want to talk about it.
Boys or something.
You know, like a boy band or...
Paul.
Hi.
- How are you?
- Great.
This is my business associate, Ken Tyler.
This is Lizzie.
Lizzie Thomas.
And this is Carol, Carol Drew. She works with me.
Hi, I'm Lizzie's assistant.
Well, they say you never bump into people
in London. People you know on the street.
- Apparently you do.
- I think we've disproved that.
- Are you living here now?
- On and off.
Got to go, Lizzie. We have a meeting, we're late.
- That's him? That was him?
- Don't look back.
Don't stare, Carol.
Come on, just walk, Carol. Just walk.
- It's not the first time you've seen him? Since...
- Yes.
Move this meeting to 5:00. That would help me.
(PHONE RINGING)
I'll answer that.
PAUL: Hello, Lizzie.
- It's Paul.
- Paul?
What're you doing?
What am I doing? You mean now? I'm working.
I'm round the corner.
Come and meet me for lunch.
Paul, I can't. I have a meeting.
Yes, of course you can, Lizzie.
I've been meaning to ask you to lunch
ever since we met in the street.
- That was 18 months ago, Paul.
- Yeah, I've been busy.
I'm in The Queen's Head, 81 Sunderland Avenue.
That's hardly round the corner,
and no, I can't come.
- I have to go to this meeting, it's important.
- Come on, Lizzie,
you'll only keep wondering about it
if you don't come.
(DRILLING MACHINE WHIRRING)
(SURRENDER BY SWING OUT SISTER
PLAYING ON JUKEBOX)
For a moment,
I thought you weren't gonna come in.
For a moment, I wasn't.
I ordered you a drink, I presumed...
You used to drink this.
Should I get you something else?
No, this is great.
There's no need to be nervous.
I'm not nervous.
So, how's the job?
- Venture capitalists. Are they performing well?
- It's interesting.
It could hardly fail to be, really, you know,
trying to guess the future, back winners.
Be ahead of events.
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
This is an interesting place to choose
to have lunch, Paul.
Yes, I come here often.
I was an arrogant shit when you worked for me.
But, you know, success,
like some lousy rock star, that's what it was.
It was so predictable. It went to my head...
you lose touch with who you were
because you can't quite believe
what's happened to you.
It's like you have to behave like that.
And I'm sorry.
I'm truly sorry.
- What's the matter?
- No.
I'm just surprised. I wasn't expecting that.
Well, you can go now, if you want.
The exciting bit's over.
I feel, you know,
if anybody should be saying sorry...
- Don't even start.
- Everything was so intense, so chaotic.
Maybe that's why all sorts of things
happened in history.
I talked to the press.
- I thought you'd never ever forgive me for that.
- It's in the past.
It's gone. It's completely gone, Lizzie.
You know, if you think about it,
pubs haven't really changed at all
in the last 60 years.
They should become a lot more feminine,
don't you think?
The feminisation of pubs.
Pink lights, soft lights...
You know, I should pitch that at work, shouldn't I?
I often think of you at work
because you were right, of course.
Computers.
We're just starting to get them in now,
and I wish I knew more than the guys
about how they work.
Wind power.
Not quite so big at the moment, but...
Do you want another round?
- You all right, Lizzie?
- Yeah, I was just...
I just had an amazing thought, fabulous notion.
- What are you doing, Paul, at the moment?
- This and that.
You know, that bastard you met
in the street with me was a disaster.
Sometimes I pick the wrong types.
But, you know,
I'm giving one or two things a whirl.
I've lost a bit of money, but I've still got enough.
You wouldn't... I can't believe I'm saying this,
you wouldn't join our firm?
- They wouldn't have me.
- Of course they would.
No one's better than you at reading the future.
You'd be brilliant for us.
The signing of the century.
Okay, it was a crazy idea.
It was just one of those things you blurt out.
I'd be honoured.
- Would you? Would you really?
- Yes.
Yeah, it'd be exciting to pick successes
in a more business-like environment.
- Are you sure?
- I am sure.
And you wouldn't have a problem, you know,
your ex-secretary being a...
being a sort of... equal?
It's a team business, Paul.
- You'd be on...
- On my best behaviour.
I promise.
I'd love to be part of your setup, Lizzie.
He's here.
Welcome, Paul.
I'll introduce you to everybody
when the moment is right.
You'll meet the whole floor.
A lot of names to digest in one go, I know,
especially, as we happen to have
five Lauras at the moment.
Laura T, and Laura B and Laura W,
and the other Lauras.
You'll get used to everything here very quickly.
You'll be seeing them all at our meetings.
Straight through there. That's your office.
I hope it's sufficient.
We don't go in for big private spaces.
In fact, we're in the middle of review.
This whole space is under review.
(PHONE RINGING)
We're gonna have our regular
Monday morning meeting in precisely 22 minutes.
See you there.
Since it's the first day, I'll forgive you.
You're not going to have those assistants
escort you to work every day, are you?
Certainly not.
They just wanted to see what
venture capitalists really look like.
Great view. I like it already.
- It's just a pity about the decor.
- What's wrong with it?
I like it.
Travelling light, I see.
Paul, you will come to all the meetings?
I know you're called a consultant,
but you will come?
I said you would.
- It's important here, because...
- It's a team.
It is a team.
I love teams.
A line of soup.
Farmyard. Wonderful smells.
A line of soup supported by a line of outlets.
A line of surprising seafood outlets.
Make the ocean do the talking.
Electric books are the things to be getting into.
Everybody knows they're gonna be taking over.
Reading books on screens,
pocket-sized electric books
can carry over 1,000 titles in one electric book.
One moment, you're in the middle of
David Copperfield,
you hit a bit of a slow patch, not to worry.
Now it's Portnoy's Complaint.
Mingle and edit. Edit and mingle.
A flaky, very flaky meal...
What I mean is, a homemade-looking snack,
that you eat walking along,
for the busy working woman.
A sort of English-Chinese roll,
but your mother could have made it.
Or else, a gadget...
- to turn the...
- Pages of your electric book.
That's right.
While you're in bed the book will be on a screen
and you can flick the pages
without ever having to touch any paper.
This is the future for entertainment.
You live inside it, you select where you go.
You're alive in 3D.
Nobody dictates where the story goes, you choose.
You are the film director, you are the storyteller.
You are the master.
It's great, isn't it?
People rather like to be told stories.
What happened?
Where did he go?
(LOUD, REPEATED BANGING)
- Is there anything you want?
- I just wondered what the noise was.
The noise is me.
(BUTTERWORTH CHUCKLING)
Well, whatever it takes.
We're restructuring as you can see
and not before time.
Our space is now communal.
No special desks, no ownership of surfaces.
As the work happens, the space happens.
We're all a team.
A unit that lives and breathes
in the same environment.
As open as the sky. Hm?
(LAUGHING LOUDLY)
(PHONE RINGING)
What's this about?
Why is he being such an arsehole?
I think you should give him his office back.
I think it's important to him.
I mean he is a sort of solitary thinker, isn't he?
That's his speciality.
(BUTTERWORTH YELLING)
I thought he was meant to be giving us
his great report.
- All his big ideas.
- Give him his office back and he will.
Thank you.
Any day now, Paul will be giving his report.
This better be worth waiting five months for.
As you know, over the past few months,
Paul has been working as a separate team.
A team of one, you might say,
which on occasions, has had added members,
but was essentially a focused project of his own.
And now we are going to hear
the fruits of his work.
What Paul thinks should be our priorities,
ideas we should be particularly concentrating on,
themes we should be alive to,
growth areas that are poised to explode.
Over to you, Paul.
Marcus, thank you.
I have one word for you.
When you say it out aloud,
it sounds like two words
but, of course, it's spelt as a single word.
So...
I've one word for you.
Bookshops.
Bookshops!
- And?
- And? There is no "and", Marcus.
Why should there be an "and"?
One pure idea is what you want.
There are very few bookshops.
A chain of quality bookshops,
that's what is needed.
Perhaps with a coffee shop tucked inside.
- Books and shops.
- And coffee?
Let the books do the talking.
Anyone wanting more details?
I will be available in my office.
(DOOR SHUTTING)
That shit, that fucker.
I'm too angry.
If I go anywhere near him now, I think I'll hit him.
He got his office back...
- for that!
- Don't worry.
I'll deal with it, I promise you.
LIZZIE: How dare you?
(DOOR BANGING SHUT)
How dare you?
PAUL: What have I done?
You just came here to disrupt everything,
didn't you?
You promised.
You promised me you wouldn't do this.
- That you'd behave yourself.
- And I have, haven't I?
I've been quiet. I haven't ordered people around.
I haven't thrown my weight about.
I've kept myself to myself.
I believed you, I supported you.
But you never had any intention
of working properly, did you?
You didn't need this job,
so you thought I'll just take the piss.
- Your idea of a little revenge?
- I don't know what I have done.
- I thought I'd been the perfect employee.
- Get out of here!
Get the fuck out of here now!
It's a good idea, you know, Lizzie.
The bookshops, it really is.
Five months' work.
That's meant to be five months' work, is it?
- It's a farce!
- You really want me to go?
I want you out of here in the next half hour.
- And take all this shit with you.
- Then I'll go.
I will go, Lizzie. No hard feelings.
That's what you think.
I just want you out of here, Paul!
Everybody's listening to this.
- Everybody's watching.
- You should get out of here, too, you know.
I'm not even going to bother to reply to that.
Because you really don't want to make a habit
of destroying everything you touch.
This was a pathetic idea of mine.
Thinking you could ever change.
It was the worst idea of my life.
And get rid of all these horrible old books, too.
Everything!
Just take everything!
That was a surprisingly good dinner.
The pudding was good, at least.
Did you hear the Home Secretary
saying she could be gone soon?
There are rumblings, rumblings.
Do you know what I think?
She's only done ten years,
she wants to do at least 20.
Always got your finger on the pulse,
haven't you, Neville?
I try. It's what I do best.
COYLE: Now, I would give you a lift,
but I am going in the other direction.
PAUL: William.
- Good dinner, was it, William?
- Paul!
- How are you, William?
- Good.
Well, keeping my head above water.
- Fancy seeing you on top of a bus.
- I like buses, remember?
The picnic, yeah, of course. Yeah, I like buses.
I mean, I'm much too mean
to take taxis all the time.
We must catch up some time very soon, Paul.
- I've got to get off here. This is my stop.
- Yes. Don't get off, William.
No, I've got to get off. This is my stop...
and there's somebody waiting for me to get home.
- Miss your stop.
- Miss my stop?
There's something I want to show you. It's not far.
Since you're here, and I'm here.
What've you got to lose?
I thought you said it wasn't far.
I don't believe I've agreed to do this.
We're nearly there, it'll be worth it.
"Was he following me?" Is that what you're...
You weren't, were you?
You weren't following me, surely not.
It's the end of the line! Paul!
Paul, you've taken me to the end of the line!
This is ridiculous.
What on earth are we doing here?
- A little eatery just here. Best food in London.
- I've already eaten.
- I'm absolutely stuffed with food.
- But you can always eat, William, can't you?
I need to call my girlfriend.
Come on, one of the only 24-hour eateries
in London.
It's amazing how few there are still.
A little surprise.
WILLIAM: Spooky place.
All that way for this?
You're right, I did have space for this.
It's good, very good.
So what did you want to show me?
That man.
- Recognise him?
- No, don't think so. Should I?
Look again.
No, I don't recognise him.
I've never seen him before.
That's Oliver.
Oliver?
Good Lord! Is it, him? Oliver.
Oliver.
What's the matter?
- Should I go over?
- No, leave him.
He keeps himself to himself.
If he wants to, he'll join us.
We both found this place separately.
- I've discovered it's full of people who can't sleep.
- You can't sleep?
- I find it difficult to, sometimes, yes.
- Is it?
- Is it because the money's gone?
- No, that's not important.
I gambled on a few things and lost, so what?
Got involved with the wrong people.
At least it was all my doing.
You hear some amazing stories in here.
People who were shafted
by their business partners,
lose their house, suddenly lose their job,
and are left by their wives,
all on the same weekend.
- Bumped into anyone else from the old days?
- You mean have I followed anybody else?
- I don't believe you are following me.
- Suit yourself.
I saw the Albert Brothers.
PAUL: I find it very interesting
the way people react to seeing me.
You have to admit it's fascinating,
especially, as I introduced them all to each other.
- And Lizzie?
- No, I haven't seen Lizzie.
Well, getting married very soon.
Yeah, big wedding.
- Got my invitation last week.
- Really? I haven't got mine.
Now she wouldn't, would she?
Paul, come on.
She wouldn't invite you to the wedding.
For Christ's sake, there's a feud going on
between you two, remember?
- There is no feud.
- All right, fine. Okay, if you say so.
I'll give her your best wishes, shall I,
for old times' sake?
Of course.
(BAND PLAYING SONG FOR WHOEVER)
- The Fotheringays.
- Peter Fotheringay.
Felicity Fotheringay.
Crumbs.
(PEOPLE APPLAUDING)
Paul.
We haven't seen you in so long.
Haven't we?
You look different somehow, you two.
Sure.
Sure, we're creating anarchy in the city now,
instead of the art world
and, well, got to look the part, haven't you?
So we can fleece them.
Paul?
- Goodness me! Fancy seeing you.
- Fancy?
Amazing, here we all are.
Together again.
Older, certainly.
- Wiser?
- Definitely not.
Is that you, Oliver?
Good lord, it is. Oliver.
How tall is the Archbishop of Canterbury?
- You know I am always holding you up.
- Holding me up?
I hold you up as the cleverest child I ever saw.
And why?
Because you took all of your exams
and passed with maximum marks.
You know, I was so wrong all those years ago.
We must measure and define always.
Checking a child's progress. Testing and testing.
- You're a government advisor now, aren't you?
- Chief educational advisor.
Discipline and creativity,
hand in hand, inextricably linked.
That's where we are now.
(HEAVEN IS A PLACE ON EARTH PLAYING)
Paul.
What are you doing here?
Don't make any trouble, please.
It's Lizzie's big day.
I'm here to cause trouble?
What gave you that idea?
Paul, a drink.
Isn't it great?
I think we've hired the most beautiful house
in England.
And the decor and everything.
It's amazing, don't you think?
I say that, and Lizzie did it all.
She did everything.
And it's a double celebration, too,
did you know that?
- She's just got this great new job, too.
- Yes, she has indeed.
AET, one of the biggest companies around.
I had a little hand in arranging that.
I made a few introductions.
See you later.
The groom.
Well, I better go and get ready,
study my little speech.
Paul?
Here by the water is fine,
but maybe not in the marquee, okay?
Don't worry. You don't have to guard me.
I'll stay rooted to this spot.
PAUL: Graham died, you know?
Remember, Graham, the poet?
Died of AIDS.
That's sad.
Poor chap.
Supper is served!
Ladies and gentlemen,
any moment the speeches will be descending,
so scrape those plates, lick those bowls.
Thank you.
I'm hungry.
Pardon me, is this finished?
- And my friend?
- Table three, yes.
Thank you very much.
Very nice, thank you.
We're not proud, we can scoop around.
- Paul?
- Lizzie.
Paul, please.
- Please?
- Don't make trouble.
Why should I make trouble?
I'm very happy for you.
All your other ex-bosses are here,
and it's good to have a ghost at a wedding.
My parents are here.
That's them over there.
I want it to be special for them.
Sorry. Thought I'd make a phone call.
Lugging this great thing around.
Lizzie and you are going to work together,
I gather.
- That's correct.
- It's a great hippo.
- Excuse me?
- AET.
A great hippo.
Big, heavy company, awkward, loads of divisions
waddling slowly, but...
it's a great thing to be a hippo,
very difficult to destroy.
Quite.
- Never heard it put like that before.
- Paul likes animals.
Paul and I used to work together.
He was my mentor.
Paul, please.
I'm sorry, I am.
That I borrowed the ideas
for the decorations from the old days,
although I did help with them, too, back then.
But I know how it must appear to you.
I'm sorry I didn't invite you.
I wasn't brave enough.
I didn't know what you would do. But please.
Please don't ruin my wedding.
Not in front of my parents, my new boss.
- Please, Paul.
- You really think I would?
I don't know.
- You're capable of anything, Paul.
- I knew you'd invite everybody.
I wanted to see what they'd look like now.
I'm here because of them, really.
And I wanted to wish you well, of course.
- I mean it, Lizzie.
- Thanks. You've done that, okay? Now, please...
Jesus!
This is a nightmare, this is horrible.
Paul, please, I'm begging you.
I would kneel if I could in this dress.
Lizzie? Hello, Lizzie.
We must have the bride back soon, Lizzie.
So back here, please.
The ordeal of the speeches beckons.
Look, please, Paul. Don't ruin things.
Maybe you think I deserve that, maybe I do,
but please...
Sure, whatever you want.
I don't want to cause any problems.
I just have a notion I wanna put to you.
- A business proposition.
- Absolutely.
I'll call you.
- You'll call me?
- I will, I promise.
I'll call as soon as we get back
from our honeymoon.
Now I want to hear what you have to say.
If you go now, I promise I will call you.
I absolutely promise.
(DOOR OPENING)
- Your 12:30 is here.
- Good. Show him straight in, Diana.
(LOUD DRONING)
William, what've you done to yourself?
I don't know.
I was in bed, merely sleeping, I hasten to say,
and it's age, I think.
So, are we having lunch here or out?
(LOUD DRONING CONTINUES)
No, certainly not here, not with all this going on.
They're redoing all the offices.
We're almost the last one left like this.
Soon be gone.
What a pity.
It suits this mighty organisation...
especially those lamps.
Your book is a great success, isn't it?
Well, it's just easy to read history, really.
Why we won the war.
I'm doing a book of political gossip, too.
The Blob said he would feed me
lots of useful things.
Talking of gossip,
have you ever been in touch with...
(LOUD DRONING CONTINUES)
Have you been in touch
with Paul since the wedding?
(MOUTHING)
Paul. Have you been in touch with...
- Do you ever call him?
- No.
I keep meaning to pick up the phone.
Yes, well, as the years go by,
it must get more difficult.
(DRONING CONTINUES)
How can you work in this?
A new look.
Yes, well, I suppose,
we must all succumb eventually.
- I've just seen a ghost.
- Hm?
They look unmistakeably
like management consultants to me.
Usual thing, isn't it?
When everyone's made to reapply for their jobs.
More young people sent along to fuck up our lives.
I must discover once and for all
who gave them permission to start doing that.
We're ready for you, Ms Thomas.
So.
We have met before.
Don't know if you remember.
I do remember.
That was in another life.
I should never have agreed
to let these lights stay.
"Oh, keep the original fittings,
they're charming," they said.
Well, I hate them.
Must get them removed immediately.
Now...
Simone and I are grateful for your cooperation
and for the time you've let us sit in on your work.
It has all made sense.
- It all made sense?
- There is just one other matter.
We've noticed, checking your CV,
sometime ago you talked to the press,
immediately after having left the employment
of a Mr Paul Reynolds.
Would you like to comment on that?
I shouldn't have done that.
There was no confidentiality clause in my contract
then, but even so, I should never have done that.
You have to understand it was a different age.
It was like the end of something really,
rather reprehensible.
It was the last dregs of that '70s-style anarchy.
I don't know
if that's an excuse for what I did, but...
But that's what it was.
Bye.
I'll call you back, Willie.
Lizzie, please take a seat.
I'm delighted to say
we'd very much like you to join our team.
Great.
There going to be
some very considerable changes,
and I have to warn you
that everything that is discussed between us
will be in the utmost confidence,
can only be discussed
between the individuals in this room,
and with no one else under any circumstances.
Now to prepare for this, I suggest you...
take the rest of the week off
while some of the people less fortunate
than yourself are leaving.
- Right.
- And do something
you've always meant to do in the next few days.
Get as far away as possible from the office...
and come back refreshed.
Hello?
Hello?
She's here! The lady is here!
Hi, everybody.
Rachel, after all these years, and Angela, too.
It's amazing to see you.
We thought you'd never come.
Paul.
- How do I get across? Is there any other way?
- No.
No other way. Stay there, Lizzie, don't move.
(INAUDIBLE)
Might have guessed it would be
an obstacle course, coming to see you, Paul.
You have to dress for the country,
didn't anyone tell you?
Why do I always feel overdressed
every time I see you?
I had no idea you had a family.
As you can see, I never do things by halves.
It's just such a surprise.
I never ever pictured you as a family man.
Are they, er?
- Are they?
- From both women?
- Yes.
- I think so.
Yes, they are, of course.
You and your harem.
Got yourself another Eden here, haven't you?
Far away from everything.
Do you know there's been an election?
That after all these years Labour has got in,
or are you completely out of touch?
- The lady has come.
- Kids make way!
It better be warm.
We're coming in, make way.
- Anybody in our way gets flattened.
- You don't want to get flattened.
How lovely.
Never thought you'd see me here, too.
Never thought I'd last the distance.
- You busy?
- Yes.
About to be fantastically busy.
Don't let them kill the big beast, remember.
Your company.
Its spread is what makes it great.
- Who's the lady?
- This lady?
This lady here...
- she's my sister.
- No, why did you say that?
Come on in, Lizzie.
Come on, it's great.
Thinking just because she's disabled,
doesn't mean she should have to share a lover?
No, I wasn't. You don't always know my thoughts.
I was thinking she looks happy.
Jesus.
Here we all are.
Redfern at the picnic.
The Blob, Oliver with his sparkler.
You always keep the past with you,
wherever you are, I've noticed that.
- Whatever happened to the crocodile?
- He lives in Norway now.
In luxury.
Never did tell me
why you were so interested in the crocodile.
- Why he was eighth on the list?
- Simple.
Big asteroid hits the Earth, end of all dinosaurs.
But wait a minute,
there's a huge reptile
that survives totally unchanged.
Survives the Big Bang,
just the same now
as he was 200 million years ago.
How did he manage it?
Find that out
and you could've found the secret of life.
And how are you going to find that out
just by keeping him in a tank?
Using dreamtime, remember?
Kind of important, isn't it?
- Do you have time to think, Lizzie?
- Of course I do.
This is the place for thinking.
You should give it a try sometime,
it might have extraordinary results.
Now stop trying to wind me up, Paul.
You always have an amazing knack
of making me feel uncomfortable.
I think I've got a message from work.
I may need to get back to London early.
You don't have to go in the hot tub, you know.
Would you stay,
if you didn't have to go into the tub?
No, I just need to get back to London, okay?
This is work.
Great changes are happening.
- Why did you say I was your sister?
- Aren't we brother and sister, Lizzie?
If you mean we were always fighting,
yeah, we certainly did that.
- We managed that okay.
- All right, you don't have to get angry.
There's no need to get uptight.
You know I never really saw you as a hippy, Paul.
I never ever imagined you'd settle for that.
It's such an easy option.
It's all right.
You don't have to say, "I'll call you," this time.
If you want to, just say,
"I'll see you in another eight years."
Ah, there you are.
I'm not late, am I? I hope I'm not late.
We'll do this tour very quickly.
It is obvious why we're here,
and it'll get even more obvious.
Good morning.
Morning.
Good morning, ladies.
Perhaps, later, ladies. Thank you.
I need a moment alone with my team. Thank you.
I have to say this now,
because it's all the more powerful,
while we are in amongst it.
This is the past, everybody. This is over.
We will be ridding ourselves of all these factories.
We make everything from these vacuum cleaners
to lamp posts, from soap to helicopters.
It's ridiculous. It will all be shed.
It's been due for years and now,
at last, we can do it.
Not a word of this, of course.
Not yet, not a single word.
Who's going to tell them?
And when?
Jesus. We're buying all this?
Sorry, talking to myself.
No, leave it on.
Helps me to concentrate.
Everything on this list is going.
Everything on this list is a potential purchase.
And at last we've got a replacement for those.
Managed to survive a year longer than I wanted,
but the end is in sight now.
We will be buying every internet
and every telecom company
we can lay our hands on.
We have a huge cash cow
and now we are going to milk it.
The share price will be 16, 17 within a year.
There will be the most dramatic growth
in the company's history,
- perhaps, in any company's history.
- It's amazing what we are buying...
but are we going to spread the risk?
If they're all internet and telecom companies,
if things were to slow...
Telecom is an energy force unlike any other.
It cannot slow.
You know, of course, this plan is bollocks.
(GLASS SHATTERING)
Why does this give me such pleasure, Lizzie?
Because we were being so slow.
So very slow to take action,
to get this company to join the real world.
REPORTER: They believe inside this reptile may be
one of the strongest antibiotics in existence.
A defence mechanism so powerful
it kills all forms of bacteria.
The question that has puzzled many researchers
is why crocodiles never die
from the wounds they receive
from the frequent fights they indulge in?
Be there, Paul.
Something truly remarkable seems to exist...
Answer the phone, Paul.
Studying these results,
I want to issue a health warning.
Just looking at them that will seem as if
some of our acquisitions are not performing.
There's a slowdown in the telecom sector,
but this is because
we're in a process of transition.
We're in the middle of the cycle.
PAUL: The only thing these need is a little tweak.
BOSS: Things are not as they seem.
A little redesign.
A little poke and a prod,
and we are set for the 21 st century.
People will always need to clean their homes.
We have a future!
BOSS: We are taking a deliberate...
Gentlemen, this bowl is a Fear Bowl.
People in years to come will look at this
in bewilderment,
because it is a power bowl, a terror bowl,
a bowl guaranteed to make people more stupid.
Why did you agree to this, Lizzie?
BOSS: Lizzie? Lizzie?
Lizzie, are you with us?
Have we thought enough about
what we are doing?
- Thought enough?
- We're pouring money away.
We've sold off 75 of our businesses.
Sometimes giving them only a day's notice
of what's happening to them.
We're now thinking of making another
The share price is in freefall.
So, yes, I'm just wondering,
have we been doing enough thinking, gentlemen?
We all committed to this strategy.
There's no turning back, naturally.
There's no possibility for second thoughts.
Remember, the results are not what they seem.
- It's time for the meeting, I do realise.
- Yes.
You know, I just heard on the radio...
the share price has gone under a pound.
Now just 75 pence.
How could that happen?
I know.
But not everything is what it seems.
but it is not what it seems.
BOSS: Once the full business cycle is played out,
then we will be in a much stronger position
than we ever were before.
WOMAN: When will the whole cycle
have taken place?
Well, it is difficult to be precise.
These results cannot be taken...
It's amazing what they've done.
Completely incredible.
One of the biggest companies in Europe
has been destroyed in just under two years.
It is a train wreck, staggering in its ineptitude.
How could clever people be so stupid?
Many people will be ruined, their life savings.
I know you'll understand...
I've lost thousands and thousands.
There is a limit to what I can say at this juncture.
A lot of business to do.
In fact, I have a very important meeting
to attend, right now.
(CLAMOUR OF DISCONTENTED VOICES)
In no sense a crisis meeting,
but which is one I must travel to right away.
There will be a full statement
in due course, I promise you.
Nobody is trying to evade or run away
from anything.
(INDISTINCT)
(INDISTINCT)
This way, Ms Thomas, I must take you to the car.
(REPORTERS SHOUTING)
No, just give me a moment.
I'm here, ladies and gentlemen...
to tell you that we fully intend to face up to
what has happened...
and explain it with the utmost clarity.
We were...
We are the custodians of a great company.
A very great company.
And if mistakes have been made...
I, for one, will not shirk my responsibility.
Lizzie, what about all the people who lost money?
What about the 20,000 people
who lost their jobs?
I have nothing further to add.
(CLAMOURING VOICES)
(INAUDIBLE OVER SHOUTING)
(WHIMPERING)
(REPORTERS SHOUTING)
No more questions.
She'll not be making any more statements.
Look, she's already said everything
she's going to say to you.
Would you leave?
Lizzie!
Lizzie, it's Paul!
You're going...
You're going to say, "I told you so,"
and I can't bear that.
- I can't bear to hear that, Paul.
- Would I say that?
Yes, you fucking would. Of course you would.
And I can't believe, I can't believe what I've done.
I could see it all happening.
The amazing stupidity of it all
and I couldn't do anything.
I couldn't stop it.
You once said I destroy everything I touch.
- You haven't destroyed anything.
- I was party to it, I agreed.
I sat there, I was with them.
I saw all those people lose their jobs.
And when everything was going wrong,
I couldn't find you, you bastard.
I couldn't get in touch.
Even when I saw about the crocodile.
I've moved, that's why you couldn't find me.
I've left the farm.
You were right. Being a hippy was far too easy.
Now, I hear you're making money again.
Your chain of bookshops is doing okay.
So you can watch all this feeling really good,
because you got it right, didn't you?
Jesus, Paul.
I don't want to have to think about you every day
for the rest of my life, saying,
"I got it right, didn't I, Lizzie?"
I can think of worse punishments.
And what is this, Paul? You and me.
I just don't understand.
You know, I love my husband.
He's sitting watching me...
talking to a man,
talking to a man he doesn't even know.
Talking like this, and I love him.
I really love him, and I don't love you.
Not in that way.
- I've never loved you in that way.
- I know.
Then why is it that
I think about you so much?
Why is it that often,
you're the first thing I think of in the morning?
When I wake, you know?
What would Paul say about this,
about what I'm about to do?
What would Paul feel about that?
What's that called, Paul?
Going bonkers, probably.
Why is it happening?
Because we were born to work together
but we couldn't manage it.
And we can't stop thinking about it.
- And that's my fault, I suppose?
- Absolutely not.
People need to work with other people
that challenge them, that threaten them,
but they'll never ever let themselves work
with such people.
It was me who didn't let that happen.
You stayed as long as you could.
Why is it that whenever I think about that
bloody garden, it seems so magical?
So special?
It hurts that we didn't do more. It really hurts me.
Because sometimes I think
that we could have done so much.
- Lizzie.
- And yet, no listen to this, it was hell at the time.
You know, that was the reality,
it was hell, wasn't it?
There were hellish moments
and not such hellish moments,
it depends what you like to remember.
What is all this tactful stuff?
This diplomatic bollocks.
I'm curled up here in a ball,
thinking my life is over
and you're giving me all this bland shit.
You should tell me what you really think.
You know what I think, Lizzie?
I think we should work together.
- I've thought that for ages.
- Why?
It's only ever been a disaster.
I just feel so foolish, Paul.
So incredibly foolish.
So many "if onlys"...
so many fucking "if onlys".
I've moved into an old school. I'm doing it up.
And I'm having a party.
I think you should come.
All in the fire. There's more here.
There's a whole school full of wood
to be burnt so keep going.
Throw it all on, that's it.
I'm glad you could come.
Lizzie.
Have something to throw in the fire.
Hey, that's it.
Los hermanos Albertos.
Sweetheart, I think the Blob needs an assistant.
Come on, here we go,
the lovely assistant for the Blob.
Take you off to see your mummy.
Got them all doing some work for a change.
I was thinking...
you gave most of them a start in their careers,
and then I came along
and lost them all their money.
I don't think I'll argue with that.
Or I could say we both blew it.
The boss and the secretary.
I want to ask you one question and only one,
don't answer too quick, promise.
Hm-mm.
All those years ago...
could it have been any different, what happened?
I mean our work together?
No.
That was much too quick.
You didn't even think about it.
No, I don't have to
because we do best on the phone.
Now with e-mail, we could set up a business
and we need never ever be in the same room.
We need never ever see each other,
if we don't want.
Just think, Lizzie...
we'd be unstoppable, now.
- Now, we'd be unbeatable.
- You're incorrigible, Paul.
Is that, "Go on tell me more. I'm intrigued?"
It might be.
(INAUDIBLE)
Don't tell anyone yet...
I'm on the last page of my book.
(PEOPLE CHEERING AND APPLAUDING)
Does anybody want to ask me a question
while we are doing this?
Any question you like. I'll get it.
Okay, what was the first ever vessel to pass
through the Panama Canal?
That's too difficult. Even for me, but...
I can tell you the day of the week
they opened the Panama Canal.
It was a Tuesday.