Fukrey 3 (2023) Movie Script

Hello, hello, hello!
Check, check, check!
One, two, three...
Ready to take off?
Got your popcorn tub?
4, 3, 2, 1...
This is how the story goes
Welcome to the land of Fukras
and their 'chuchisms'
Beyond the Yamuna, four Fukras reside
Even Superman can't handle their slides
A premonition wins them the lottery
Pandit-ji sells this
God's gift to Bholi
Desperately in love,
Choocha lies to his beloved
Then come drugs
and a game of hide-n-seek,
Cops run wild and Bholi freaks!
The Fukras are doomed
until God's gift blooms
Choocha lands a deja-chu
and gives Hunny
the winning number, woohoo
Zafar has an idea,
a cop gets involved
The minister sends Bholi to jail
and all is solved
Off to jail!
Bholi goes to jail!
But, a happy ending wasn't true
Bholi was geared to ruin the Fukras
in part two.
Fukrey returns!
Bholi makes a call
and convinces Babulal
To figure her prison-break
Bholi was oh so mad!
The Fukras gathered at their pad
Delhi lined up in slippers and shoes
to pay for Choocha's deja-chu's
What then?
What else? Babulal extracted
a lottery number from him.
The Fukras trembled, ran with fear
People ran to whoop their rear
What happened after?
Listen up...
Choocha stood up to the challenge
with a deja-chu
In it he saw, the key to everyone's future,
a tiger, a cave, a jungle, a treasure
But, what they found, oh damn was
stamped in red and screamed, scam!
Bholi took the help of the Chief Minister,
and sent to jail the crooked Minister
But, Bholi had tasted power
and decided to take
politics to the floor
The Fukras backed her up
and convinced the Chief Minister
And were given the Janta store to run
They got the key
to Janta store, yippee!
Ladies and gents,
here's the catch up on the Fukras.
Let's start part 3...
in the words of the Fukras.
Passengers, please strap up
your heads.
Again, you'll crash into chucklehead land
full of chu-chisms.
As you saw in the recap,
the Delhi Chief Minister gifted them
a departmental store.
But, with this useless lot,
logic has departed into the Yamuna river
and only mental remains.
The electronics were outdated
like their hustle schemes
and the rest of the stuff
was rusting like their luck.
Therefore, whenever India's
economic data will be analysed,
the worthless Fukras will find
mention in the hall of shame.
Where's the rest?
In your friend's stomach.
-Stuff it.
-Bro, let's buy it all.
-Eat the stand, too.
-Please, bro.
Hunny, please I need a deja-chu.
What have you lost?
-My favourite one.
Where did you get
this nylon underwear from?
Its elastic looks strong.
Doesn't your underwear hold tightly?
No, dude.
My mother buys cheap loose ones
from the local market.
50 bucks for a pack of three.
Hang on.
Hunny, what's this?
Are we to look for underwear now?
So far, what treasures have we found?
Come here.
Here's your advance.
Balance, once the job is done.
Don't be silly.
We don't charge kids.
Bro, our underwears have turned
into fishnets, full of holes
and he wants to be Robinhood.
-Give me your phone.
Take it.
Choocha, take a deep whiff
and get cracking.
Disgusting, bro!
The underwear stinks even in 2D.
It's not the underwear
but phone that's stinking.
I keep it in my private pocket.
Come day after tomorrow.
Kid, deposit it here.
-Help me down.
-I'll see you later.
Get the full payment then.
In spite of trying every scheme
even the deja-chus couldn't turn
the foolish ones' kismet.
The dogs by river Yamuna,
the cats,
Sonu's geometry box,
Monu's sketch pen,
Grandpa's spectacles,
Grandma's dentures,
Brother-in-law's birth certificate,
character certificate,
Sweety's pink dress,
and Pinky's nail paint...
Their city of gold was in ruins
because Choocha's deja-chu was reduced
to finding such silly treasures.
Talking of ruin...
Bholi! She was also suffering
in her transition from Jekyll to Hyde.
Who has filled this candidate form?
What language is it?
Madam, please fill a fresh form.
Let it be.
I'll fill it up for you.
Give it to me.
Your full name?
Bholi Punjaban.
And I'm Lady Gaga.
What's your given name?
Phool Kumari Sehgal.
Shit man!
Who names their child 'Fool'?
-Idiot! It's 'Phool'. Means flower in Hindi.
-My name means virgin flower.
Phool Kumari Sehgal aka...
You are...
not welcome to the Janta store.
Babe, your pits are stinking.
I'm burping chickpeas.
How can you
when you've eaten momos?
Still wanna get married?
Forget your hellos.
Why did you cut the call before?
Bholi-ji, I thought you had dialled
by mistake.
Pocket dialling.
Why would you call me?
I'm unworthy.
You're right.
You are worthless.
But, I'm helpless.
And about the pocket...
I won't be needing one very soon.
I'm spending all of my cash.
Wow, what a coincidence!
It's the same scene here, Bholi-ji.
I don't care about your situation.
Listen to me...
I'm wiped out paying for crowds.
I want one that's free of cost.
Elections are here.
I want to start campaigning.
Put the Fukras on the job.
Bholi-ji, Hunny has stopped dancing
or his act was a crowd-puller.
If you wish, I can wear a skirt
and show up.
Pandit-ji, pick me!
I can easily gather a crowd!
Please spare us.
The last time, the Delhi crowd
was after our asses thanks to you.
Tell the candy-shop boy to zip it,
get Choocha.
-Bobby will WhatsApp you the address.
We'll reply with our bank details.
-Once we get the transfer--
-Shave your chest hair.
I'll send you a skirt.
If Choocha fails, you will dance.
Bro, I just saw a deja-chu.
I saw... there's a big crowd gathered
at Welcome Colony.
And Bholi is cleaning
their public toilets
That's it!
Bholi-ji, a slight change of plan.
We'll send you the address instead.
Make sure you reach on time.
See you there.
Angry bird.
Hold it!
Let Bholi aunty cut the ribbon first.
Let him go
or he'll inaugurate the toilet right here.
Go on.
Cut the ribbon quickly.
How should our minister be?
Like Phool Kumari!
What happened?
It's dirty...
Don't worry, Bholi's cleaning them.
She'll clean this one next.
He means, he wants his bottom cleaned.
Is it?
I'll do it for you.
Your bottom or mine,
how does it matter?
Is it cold?
Media people, the candidate is here.
When I was a kid,
my papa washed my bottom.
I would run because of the cold water.
And he would chase me.
I would shiver!
Wow! He is the true messiah of the poor.
Choocha, please smile.
Choocha, one washing the bottom...
Bloody hell!
Every time we try to help Bholi-ji up,
she falls flat down.
Pick her up
before she sees herself collapsed.
My beloved brothers and sisters.
Once your sister Bholi Punjaban gets
elected as the Water Resources Minister,
I will stop the water theft
and extortion completely.
How Delhi's earth is ripped
and every drop of water
is sucked out
leaving our people parched.
I will bury that tanker mafia
in Delhi's earth.
No pain, no gain.
Delhi people use brain.
Vote for sugarcane!
Sugarcane, sugarcane!
No pain, no gain.
Delhi people use brain.
Vote for sugarcane!
Sugarcane, sugarcane!
No brain, no pain.
Delhi people only gain.
Vote for sugarcane!
Sugarcane, sugarcane!
Bholi, when you become
the Water Sinister...
The Water Minister.
That's what I said.
You will stop water theft
but will you distribute it for free?
I don't think so.
She's saying something...
Why not. Surely!
And lemon and sugar?
What good is plain water?
Only if you give us lemon and sugar,
we'll be able to make lemonade.
Well done, Choocha!
What an idea! I love you.
The Yamuna river will flow with lemonade!
Very good, Choocha!
Here he is. Our true leader!
Long live, Choocha Singh!
Say it louder.
Choocha Singh.
Long live, Choocha Singh!
Come with me. I'll give you lemonade.
Delhi's world famous?
-Of course.
-Thank you, buddy.
Let's go.
No pain, no gain.
Delhi people use brain.
-Vote for sugarcane.
-Sugarcane, sugarcane!
To tell you the truth... I'm scared.
If Bholi wins,
imagine what will happen to Delhi?
She doesn't care about the people.
It's not in her DNA.
Every minister is on DND mode.
Yes. Bholi is a one-eyed leader
of the blind.
And everyone is following her
without thought.
But, don't worry.
I've found us a king
with two eyes wide open.
You mean, our very own Choocha?
Your chosen king
is a sightless dimwit.
Even if he had four eyes,
he won't see a thing.
Don't worry. I'll be his eyes.
And Pandit-ji his brains.
We'll unleash the dance of fury.
Bravo, Chanakya of Choochland.
Hunny, you didn't mention
what part of Choocha I represent.
You are his as...
'A' 'A' his arms...
To play a winning game.
Got it?
Dhingra, if you're so hot,
dunk yourself in a water tanker.
Do you have a dearth of water?
It'll be apocalypse
the day Dhingra craves water.
Your thieving will ensure
that day is not too far away.
Why have you called me here?
We settle accounts
at the farm house, right?
Money matters can be
accounted for anywhere.
But who will keep account of your words?
What nonsense were you saying
in your speech?
Delhi's heart...
the tanker mafia and all that.
I'm pouring money on you like water
for you to talk crap?
Even if no one's thinking about it,
you're drawing their attention here.
-Pandit wrote the speech and I just...
-Shut up!
I can handle the cops.
But, if the media latches on,
no biggie...
the money for your campaigning
will be spent to shut their mouths.
It'll be your loss.
Are you threatening me?
No... I'm reminding you.
Two things.
You've never been faithful.
So, don't expect it out of me.
And second...
We have a deal.
You become the Water Resources Minister
and I dry up all the taps in Delhi.
My tankers sell at premium prices.
Then, you and I are square.
Didn't get it?
Didn't get it?
I got it.
Hey boy, bring my car.
Madam, people are here
with their water problems.
They're hassled with the tanker mafia
and their astronomical charges
and are requesting you
to supply water to their homes,
once you become a minister.
See this petition.
Madam, Choocha alert! Choocha alert!
Send him away.
Oye, oye!
Choocha is here!
How are you, son? Are you okay?
Choocha's here.
Welcome, Choocha Singh.
Let's hear your grievances.
Get in line.
I'm not here to line up.
I wanted to say two things to you.
One is important,
the other, useless.
What's the important thing?
May I know,
when are you going to turn 18
and how long will I have to wait
to marry you?
Bobby boy, throw Choocha out.
Fine. Bobby, I'm leaving.
At least hear the useless thing.
-I don't want to.
-Fair enough. Here goes...
Hunny has a plan.
In the election,
he will make me a condom...
Con... can...
What was it?
What's that brown dry fruit we eat?
Grows in a desert...
Candidate! I'm going to be an independent
candidate against you in the elections.
Hunny has made a solid plan.
Choocha, come here, son.
My entire family's going to vote for you.
You will win.
My vote will go to Choocha, too.
How should our minister be?
Like Choocha, the water giver!
How should our minister be?
Like Choocha, the water giver!
25 days to the election
so, for the next 23 days of campaigning,
we'll need a crowd
of 500 people everyday.
Crowds will come for Choocha, but...
But, what?
To arrange for their food and drink
and publicity material
like banners and cars,
we'll need at least 50 lakhs for it.
We're barely able to feed ourselves
and he wants us to feed thousands.
Don't even think about it.
My dad's not giving a morsel.
-I've heard enough.
Now, you listen.
Positivity is good
but within reasonable limits.
My dad eats customers' leftovers
from his own restaurant.
Forget free food for the crowds,
he won't even offer those leftovers.
Think about it.
Once Choocha becomes the minister,
we'll allot your dad a gas station.
Then father and son
can serve fuel-fried parathas.
Choocha hasn't fully developed
from an ape.
How will he become a minister?
Bro, a person shouldn't be so negative.
Two types of people are successful
in politics,
one, like Bholi or like Choocha.
Didn't you rightly say,
if Bholi becomes the minister,
she would ruin Delhi?
Let's clarify
why we're making Choocha a minister.
For our benefit or to serve people?
For both.
We'll earn a buck
and also serve the people.
Kill three birds with one stone.
Hold on, who's the third bird?
But, she can't get a whiff of our plan.
He's right.
Fine. Even if I convince my dad
to provide the food,
where will we get the rest of the cash?
-It's already...
The cash cow is walking towards you.
What did you do now?
What the hell are you upto?
You've pissed on our plan.
Why have you got them here?
Don't worry, Pandit-ji.
You are Bholi's enemy.
We are Bholi's enemy.
Enemy of enemy,
India-China, brothers!
-You're Bholi's enemy?
But you work for Bholi.
Not anymore.
We now do business of independence.
But we get independence in 1947.
Why you so late?
What are you all barking about?
You're speaking Punjabi-English,
and they're speaking Chinese-English.
I don't understand a bloody word!
You never understand anything.
Enjoy the music.
We get each other perfectly.
They're going to China
to fight for independence.
This nincompoop a minister?
He's going to take our country back
by 500 years.
Okay, let's talk.
We'll listen.
We come do deal with Fukras.
What deal?
Uncle and aunt bought
a diamond mine in South Africa.
But diamonds are few.
So labour finds nothing. Just dust.
If Choocha has a deja-chu
at the diamond mines,
we'll find less dust, more diamonds.
You'll be rich. We'll be rich.
Deal done. Let's go.
But why deal with us and not Bholi?
Bholi's a greedy dog.
She'll take the diamonds and run.
Eddie and Bobby trust only Choocha.
Do deja-chu for seven days.
We'll pay five lakhs as advance.
-Five lakhs.
For a deja-chu in seven days.
Five lakhs.
Five lakhs will be yours.
Give us a minute.
-What say, royal cun...?
Royal council.
What is the royal council saying?
Don't try to act oversmart.
We aren't royal.
Yes, I forgot, Pandit-ji.
Forget that.
What do we do about them?
I say let's take the money
and use it to start
the election campaign.
When we find the diamonds,
we'll get more money for campaigning.
What say?
Let's go.
Okay. Deal done.
Book our tickets.
We'll come with you.
What the hell is this?
Is this water fountain for dogs
or humans?
Lali, listen up.
Cup your hands
so that I can drink from there.
I'll be able to quench my thirst.
Come, bro.
Bro, it's your turn now.
Let me fix you a cup.
You're always sniffing your fingers
after scratching your bum.
I'd rather die of thirst!
In case of rapid change
in cabin pressure,
pull it over your nose and mouth
and breathe normally.
If you are travelling with a child
or someone who requires assistance,
secure your own mask first
and then help others.
We are about to take off.
Please stay seated
and we hope you have
a comfortable flight.
Cabin crew prepare to take off.
Madam, what if the aircraft engine fails?
The aircraft will fly
on the second engine, sir.
And what if that fails, too?
I'd like my parachute right now, please.
I'll jump off
as soon as both the engines fail.
Fine, don't give me my parachute.
But at least tell me,
when the engines fail,
will the aircraft crash
or float like a kite?
I'm not sitting next to this bad omen.
Hunny, drill some sense into him.
Sir, please.
Ignore him.
Attend to me.
After take off, sir.
Oh... fine.
Enjoy your flight.
Shut up.
Yes, sir?
One whiskey, extra large.
Sure, sir. I'll get it for you.
Lali, are you sleeping?
For your kind attention
the seat belt sign is now off
and you can use
the toilet facilities.
Excuse me, madam.
Yes, sir?
May I use the toilet?
Sure, sir.
Yes, sir.
To poop, too?
Yes, sir. If you want to...
-Two ice cubes, please.
-Sure, sir.
I mean,
I mean, wouldn't it fall
on the people on the ground?
No, sir. It's not like that.
The waste gets processed
in the aircraft.
It's not a problem.
What do you mean by processed?
The body waste is converted
into ice cubes.
It's called blue ice.
Ice cubes?
-Tissues, sir?
-Yes, sir?
Where's the toilet?
Sorry, sir?
I want to take a dump.
Sir, this way and that way.
Sir, another drink for you?
The same, extra large.
But, without ice.
Here they come.
Such a beautiful place.
Hey, lad from Amritsar,
don't try to steal me away
"Madiba, Madiba!"
Welcome to South Africa.
Meet my uncle,
Mr Shinda Singh Ahluwalia.
-Bless me, please.
-He's the caretaker of our diamond mines.
My aunt, Prakash Kaur.
-Bless me.
-God bless you.
-And my cousin, Mombasa.
-Bless me...
Oh no.
Howdy, good boy?
Howdy, smart boy?
Howdy, Choocha.
You're our hope.
-Narayan Pandit.
It's my first visit abroad.
Beautiful! Live it up before you die.
But I'm not dying.
I have a long life.
I mean to welcome you.
Welcome! Welcome!
-Go ahead, ask.
-You must be hungry.
Settle in. I'll serve the food.
It'll get cold otherwise.
We'll eat later. Let's talk business.
Okay, no problem.
She's my late sister's daughter.
She'll explain the job to you.
Like a flower in bloom
tender and wild
Life is fleeting,
my youth is in its prime
My dear!
I take care of business here.
-Let's go straight to the diamond mines.
-Yes. Let's go.
Everyone, sit in the car.
Choocha, you ride with me.
Come, Choocha.
Let's go.
Please come.
You need to have guts of steel
to fall for Choocha.
You're right.
This plan, is way cool
Jackie Chan, is way cool
Rajni fans, are way cool
Don't turn your back on your luck
Look carefully,
these poor sods look useless
But the Fukras won't turn back
whatever the stakes
History will repeat itself
The Fukras are ready
with all their cheat codes
Just a minute, guys! Just a minute!
One minute!
The boys have left from Delhi
They're here for the big game
Not even on their home turf
but in Africa
There's a lot of money on the line
They're in top form
no matter what time of day
The atmosphere is cool
Do whatever you feel like,
it's cool
Just let it flow,
it's cool
What we're doing is wrong
but it's for a good price
It'll take a bit of work,
it's cool
It might get tricky,
it's cool
Are you ready, young man?
The price is right
it's cool
Bring it on!
What we're doing is wrong, but...
What's life without some ka-ching
Our antennas go crazy
when the moolah is near
It's cool, it's cool
You've snatched our calm
all we can do is give up this life
You've dug the mine down to hell.
Where do I begin?
Begin from beginning.
This is Choocha sir.
Wherever he looks, you dig there.
It's cool
It's cool, it's cool
It's cool, it's cool
Phool Kumari-ji,
I hope you're campaigning
within the guidelines
and not doing anything illegal.
Of course not, Mr. Chief Minister.
Remember... the cabinet portfolio
we spoke about?
A few days back you mentioned
Delhi's tanker mafia in your speech.
Do you have a plan to save Delhi
from water theft and Day Zero?
Do you know what Day Zero means?
Let the campaign results come.
The cabinet will be decided
based on merit.
Bring it on!
Seen a deja-chu?
How long does a deja-chu usually take?
-It depends...
Now he sees something.
-I think he's seeing something...
-Is he?
It's not working. I need a donkey.
-Yes, a donkey.
When I was younger,
I would ride a donkey
up to the temple.
Get me one quickly.
A donkey in these parts...
It's okay. No problem.
Come, I'll give you a piggyback ride.
Are you crazy?
He's so much older.
You'll piggyback on him?
Louder! Hail, Mother Durga!
Everyone, together.
Hail, Mother Durga!
I can't hear you...
Hail, Mother Durga!
Hail, Mother Durga!
-People from Delhi.
-Hail, Mother Durga!
People of Cape Town...
-You also say.
-Hail, Mother Durga!
We must go back to India
or Bholi will get suspicious.
Okay. Give regards to my beloved.
-India, my beloved country.
Day Zero.
The day the city's taps will run dry,
drought will seize the city,
citizens will crave
for a single drop of water...
Worldwide, there are 17 countries
on the brink of Day Zero.
India ranks...
What was it?
India ranks number 13.
A present for you.
Look there. Not before marriage.
Prince of Choochland!
Thank you.
Lunch is served.
Son, do something...
I don't have deja-chus.
The food will get cold.
Not a chance.
What have you cooked?
Lady finger.
Lady finger.
Stuffed lady finger.
I'm coming.
Let's go!
Hey, do something.
-Uncle, aren't you coming?
-Come here.
-Come here.
-What happened?
Have you come here
to eat lady finger?
I've paid 80,000 bucks per person
for flight tickets.
To feed you lady finger?
No one's even trying for a deja-chu.
Uncle, I'm not even fond
of stuffed lady finger.
Any deja-chu yet?
What's for vegetarians?
Fruit and alcohol.
Is alcohol vegetarian?
It is.
Enjoyed best with non-vegetarian food.
Is it?
For you. Fish, Amritsari-style.
-Look, Mamacita...
-It's Mombasa.
Don't flirt with me.
We can't get married.
I'm carrying Bholi's child
in my womb.
I'm pregnant.
-What the...
Six months ago, Bholi french kissed me.
And now, I'm four months pregnant
with her child.
Choocha, Smakiya also french kissed you.
Could be his child, too?
It's happening. Come on.
Almost here.
Did he see it?
Just missed.
It'll happen.
It's been 10 days.
Why hasn't a deja-chu dropped yet?
I don't know either.
He won't see anything.
Be positive, bro. Why won't he?
Why does Choocha have a deja-chu?
Only God knows why anything happens
with him.
He has visions
of what is about to happen.
Of what exists.
But, if it doesn't exist,
how can he see it?
Do you mean... the mines are empty?
There are no diamonds in the mines.
It was Bholi's plan
so that we wouldn't campaign.
Tell Choocha about the mines.
He will tell the Fukras.
The greedy buggers
will jump on the offer.
And go to South Africa.
Choocha won't be here to campaign.
I will have a sweeping win.
Oh mother... sister...
All the same.
That's why Bobby and Eddie left.
But how did Bholi know
that Choocha was pitted against her?
Who told her?
Who else?
Bro! I saw a deja-chu
for the diamonds.
To hell with your deja-chu!
First tell us... did you tell Bholi?
I warned you earlier.
A donkey would make a smarter friend
than him.
But no one listens to me!
Why didn't you tell us earlier?
If I did, then how could
we have come to South Africa?
I announced to everyone back home.
Before serving the nation,
a visit to South Africa is a must.
Gandhi-ji did it, too.
What's done is done.
We can salvage it.
We have 12 more days to campaign.
Let's get out of here
and start campaigning in Delhi.
Do you think Bholi and Shinda
will let us leave?
Bholi has entered politics.
She can't risk a crime at this time.
She wanted to delay us.
Which she did.
Pack and let's make a dash.
Vasco Da Gama said,
it's okay if you forget
to piss or shit when abroad,
but never forget your passport.
I'm sorry.
Pandit-ji, help me.
Heave ho!
How many carats?
No carrot, no radish.
Only cactus.
So many. Look.
It's okay, relax.
You take your diamond,
I'll take mine.
Everything is fine.
What exactly do you have in mind?
You keep the diamond.
I won't tell uncle Shinda.
I just want to marry Choocha.
Sure, done! You have our blessings.
Pandit-ji, what auspicious moment
are you waiting for?
What? Have we agreed to their marriage?
How can you give me away?
At least, ask me.
Idiots, run right now!
Choocha, come here.
Sorry, Mosambi.
We've to get them to retract.
This one's from Khureji
and the other from Jheel Kuranja.
I've paid them 10 million each.
Bholi madam, it's Shinda.
Pick up and say, hello, how are you?
Hello. How are you?
What an idiot!
Now what did I do?
-Call him back.
The number you have called
is speaking to someone else.
Madam, Shinda is calling someone else.
Now, he's calling my phone.
Why is he on fire?
The number you have called
is speaking to someone else.
-Madam, Shinda's here.
Here, look.
Why're you behaving
like a fish out of water?
What's so urgent?
The Fukras have run away!
Where? How? When?
From here. Like this. Right now.
What are you saying?
I'm telling you the truth.
I am doomed!
Choocha has stolen my rock...
What rock?
He has rocked my niece's world
and broken her heart.
Must be that smart-ass Hunny.
They've figured the plan.
Hang up and find them.
They shouldn't reach India
for another nine days.
Did your Fukras run away?
Shall I make Choocha an offer, too?
It's not so easy to put a price to them.
But don't worry...
It'll take more
than crossing a bridge to get here.
I've sent them far away,
to South Africa.
It'll take a miracle for them
to get out of the mess.
Sit down.
-Take a break.
-Pandit-ji, what are you doing?
Get up.
Choocha, give the diamond to Pandit-ji.
Your pockets are full of holes.
It'll fall.
Choocha, give the diamond to Pandit-ji.
I... can't, bro.
The diamond isn't in my pocket.
It's inside my belly.
And can exit from only one hole.
What do you mean?
When Monalisa came,
I hid the diamond in my mouth and...
swallowed it.
Swallowed it?
You swallowed the diamond?
It'll tear your intestines. You'll die!
Forget it.
The Black Mamba snake died painfully
after biting him.
What damage can such a small rock
do to him?
It wasn't small.
It was as big as a chicken 'chocho'.
You mean momo.
I found it. I'll name it after me.
Keep your momos to yourself.
Can someone tell me,
what are we doing here?
I'll explain.
There are two flights back to India.
One, tomorrow
and the other after three days.
Then, how will we go?
We have to leave tomorrow.
If we don't,
we'll lose three days of campaigning.
Book the tickets.
We'll have to take the chance.
Look for a spot to sleep.
I found mine.
Figure your bed out.
Oh man...
Sleep! Why are you staring at me?
I'm not going to sing you a rhyme.
Okay. But can you please come here
and rub my ear.
I love it.
It puts me to sleep in seconds.
Fine. At least sleep beside me.
I don't want to sleep alone.
Made for each other.
Wow, bro!
So many kites!
The yellow one, Hunny...
got cut.
Hunny, wait.
You can still save it.
Let go of the string.
Pull the string.
Give it to me!
He's getting electrocuted.
Choocha is stuck to a live wire.
Move. Can't you see?
I need a stick.
This isn't a wooden stick.
Found one.
Hit it.
How will we take their dead bodies
to India?
Don't say that.
Water... water?
Some for me, too.
Get them water.
The electric shock
has dehydrated them.
We'll have to give them water.
If they don't get water, they'll die.
Oh no! Where will we find water?
Lali, wait here.
Keep a watch.
They should not stop breathing.
I'll go look for water.
-We've got water.
Give it to them.
Get up, drink.
Water... I'm dying, too.
-Give him some, as well.
-Yes. One minute.
Here you go, Choocha.
Drink up.
Suck on it.
-Open your eyes.
-It's not coming.
-What happened?
-There's no water.
I think the water from the commode
is also over.
-Did you...
-What could I do?
He's sweating an ocean.
suck it.
Suck it, Lali.
Lali, hurry.
Here, Choocha.
Drink up.
-Did he get water?
Calm down.
Yes, it's done.
The incoming is sorted.
How do we manage the outgoing?
Why don't you get up
and pee like a normal man?
The shock has stiffened my body.
I can't get up.
Throw it.
You can take a go as well.
Such a tough guy
and couldn't even handle a shock?
Oh man!
Pandit-ji, when did you start smoking?
Don't ask.
I might need to start smack
to be able to handle them.
What the hell!
What just happened?
It happens.
If you don't clear out the septic tank
for many days, gas accumulates.
Thank God that you're safe.
It's normal.
It's been 30 minutes, boy.
Got it?
No, he hasn't let it out as yet.
It seems to be stuck somewhere.
If there was gas in the tank,
it would stink.
So bad that we wouldn't be able
to even sit there.
I beg your pardon?
Give me a match.
There is something in this bowl.
There was something.
Pee and water.
I threw it out myself.
Now don't over analyse it.
No problem. We'll try it again.
Let the pee clear its name.
Hold on!
There was something else
along with Choocha's pee.
His sweat.
Camera... proceed!
You've been blessed again.
God has showered you with another gift.
Pandit-ji, I'm confused as hell
and you're finding this funny.
I'm not joking.
Past evidence proves,
whenever these two have collided,
God has graced them.
And I'm going nuts.
I barely digested the dreams
and deja-chus. Now this.
I mean, Choocha's pee isn't pee,
it's petrol?
But not dry like gunpowder,
it's liquid.
Combustible liquid. It's Petrol.
Petrol is made from hydrocarbon.
Not with pee and sweat.
What did you say?
What is Petrol made of?
I remember vaguely...
I studied it as a kid.
Hydro means water.
And carbon comes from coal.
Coal comes from a mine.
And so does a diamond.
And there's a diamond rock
stuck in Choocha's stomach.
Petrol is made from hydrocarbon.
H stands for hydro,
plus C stands for carbon,
is equal to hydrocarbon.
H for Hunny.
C for Choocha.
That means,
Hunny plus Choocha equals to...
Pandit-ji, carbon.
Choocha is pure carbon.
What's going on?
A scientific miracle.
A new discovery.
From the banks of the Yamuna river.
Let's bounce.
This way! This way!
Keep the boarding passes ready, Pandit-ji.
We're going to land in Delhi soon!
Is it this one?
I knew in my heart, Bholi,
you would receive me at the airport.
My precious, you know
what Bholi did to us, right?
What did she do?
Nothing at all.
She didn't do a thing.
Please forget about her
until the elections.
Later, I will personally take you
in a horse carriage to meet her.
He's okay.
Sit, Pandit-ji.
Child lock.
How much is Bholi giving you
for this advertising?
No one's taking a dime.
Bholi-ji has promised that if she wins,
she'll drop CNG prices.
Really? By how much?
The current rate is 71.
If she brings it down by five rupees,
we'll strike gold!
Say, if you get petrol
for 35 rupees a litre?
Will you switch to petrol?
35 rupees a litre!
This is India. Not Saudi Arabia.
True, but we're definitely sheikhs.
Or put the code, shut up and drive.
Of course, I'm interested.
My whole community will buy from you.
I live in Trilokpuri.
There's a cabbie in every house.
Where do we get the fuel from?
You don't have to bother.
Well will himself walk to the thirsty.
-He means, door-to-door delivery.
-I've got a Masters degree in English.
I've tutored many like you.
Debit what comes in,
credit what goes out.
Here comes Bholi! Here comes Bholi!
We've come to her with our pleas.
-Here comes Bholi!
-Please vote for me.
-We've come to her with our pleas.
-No more tears.
Here comes Bholi! Here comes Bholi!
We've come to her with our pleas.
Rose, Mary, stop the drama.
Enough of over acting for the day.
Hey, Bob Marley. Pack up.
Okay, madam. Come on.
She invited us
and is now shooing us.
-We won't come next time.
-Let's leave.
Dhingra, didn't I forbid you
into the party office?
The winds are finally blowing
in my favour. Don't ruin it.
Last I remember, this place was mine.
And I haven't sold it to anyone as yet.
Your Fukras didn't take the bridge...
they've taken a jet back.
No blowing winds
will be able to save you
if they get back in the game.
Didn't get it?
I've already spent millions.
And I have more on the line.
So what if they can't be bought?
Those that aren't corrupt
are either kidnapped...
or killed.
Might won't work on the Fukras
but deception will.
Keep calm.
I'll seduce Choocha and distract him.
enough with the words...
let's see some action.
Because if Choocha wins the election...
Bholi madam... I miss our old life.
This is no fun.
Once I win the election,
we'll get our old life back.
Delhi will experience an earthquake.
Fuk-fuk Fukrey!
Ghost runs off with ants in his pants!
Eyes shut. Don't see them dance!
Fuk-fuk Fukrey!
Ghost runs off with ants in his pants!
Eyes shut. Don't see them dance!
Lemon, water, sugar,
a glass of lemonade
Choocha will drink and with the people,
he'll cause a stink
The urine-sweat mixture is correct
for one tank of water.
Stir it well, Lali.
Each drop should mix perfectly
with water.
Fuk-fuk Fukrey!
Ghost runs off with ants in his pants!
Eyes shut. Don't see them dance!
Fuk-fuk Fukrey!
Ghost runs off with ants in his pants!
Eyes shut. Don't see them dance!
-Oh, great.
-It started!
-What's up?
-Your fuel's here.
-Greetings, Pandit-ji.
I've informed everyone.
The whole clan is here.
Come, fuel up.
Open up.
We're ready to accept the offering.
Can you give it to us in bottles, as well?
In a bottle, spoon, ladle, box...
You can fill it anywhere.
If you open your mouth,
we'll give you mouth service, too.
Come here. Hold this.
Sweet Mother India.
Catch Choocha.
Why are you taking out your anger
on his photo?
It's his picture, after all.
I won't spare him.
I'll show you!
-Your pressure will rise!
-Put the bags inside.
Open the boot.
-Greetings, Qureshi!
Greetings, Shinde!
How are you?
-I need four goons.
-It'll be done.
As soon as yesterday.
Our kismet is worthless
But diamonds in our eyes are priceless
Each dream is worth a million
studded with gems
Politicians fighting Delhi elections
from the banks of Yamuna
Seeing this, our eyes pop out!
Why are you dressed like a peacock?
Would you rather I slither as a snake?
Why don't you dress up, too?
-Brothers-in-arms dance together.
-He's right.
The more the merrier.
Let's make a land of Fukras pretty
Make me the President of the city
Ladies and my gents, join the club
1, 2, 3, 4...
Hail the Fukras rub-a-dub-dub
5, 6, 7, 8...
Down with the wolf cub.
Bro, when we've got oil wells
in our backyard
why fake it with the elections?
We're not running the election to win
but to make Bholi lose.
Fuk-fuk Fukrey!
Ghost runs off with ants in his pants!
Eyes shut. Don't see them dance!
Fukras! You are doomed!
-Is anyone there?
-No one's there.
Madam, no one's here.
Your clout is gone
You are no longer the don
Now, I invite our area candidate, Mr. Choo--
I mean, Mr. Dilip Singh to address
the audience.
Please come.
This school has given both Hunny
and me so much
that they are forever indebted to us.
Even though the school's washroom
didn't have water, it did have rocks
and with those rocks Hunny and I
used to scrub each other clean.
Remember your bum got scratched once?
I also recall,
Chuski sir lovingly calling us...
frogs of the school pond
who could never make the jump
into a college pond.
It's still leaping around my head.
He made frogs out of us
but never dug us a well.
Today, I promise...
for all fellow frogs
I'll make a large lake instead
for the boys
Choocha-ji, please could you create a pond
near our home?
We have to go four blocks
for a bucket of water.
He's right. There's such a crowd
and the water is never enough.
We can't even finish homework.
Yes, point to be noted.
I request our esteemed candidate, Dilip-ji
not to digress
and focus on the school problems.
And not only that,
I grant six months of vacation!
Each student gets new sports shoes,
new books, stationery,
flasks to keep water cool
and school bags
of their favourite characters.
What crap is he saying?
And until the pond is built
in your locality,
there will be no homework for you!
Dare you! Dare you!
Dare you! Dare you!
He who doesn't vote for Choocha,
He who doesn't vote for Choocha,
Will be a son-of-a--
Shut up!
Vote for Choocha!
Vote for Choocha!
Vote for Choocha!
Vote for Choocha!
Vote for Choocha!
Vote for Choocha!
Vote for Choocha!
-Catch him!
-Yes, sure.
Going by public sentiment, it is clear that
Choocha has already won the hearts
of the people
and has crashed Bholi's dream
of becoming a minister.
Let's see--
No point taking out your frustration
on the television.
Take that aggression to the streets.
Tomorrow's the last day of campaigning.
The minister's chair or my bed...
the choice is yours.
Victory! Victory, Bholi Punjaban!
Victory! Victory, Bholi Punjaban!
Victory! Victory, Bholi Punjaban!
Victory! Victory, Bholi Punjaban!
Victory! Victory, Bholi Punjaban!
Victory! Victory, Bholi Punjaban!
Hold onto your hearts,
here come the eligible bachelors
Cruisin' the streets
of our capital city, Delhi
I came across Amar Colony in Delhi
In its narrow lanes, many stories unfold
Hold onto your hearts,
here come the eligible bachelors
I've become famous in your city
-Choocha on a tank?
Yes, I've become famous!
Paper, scissors, rock,
vote for peacock!
Paper, scissors, rock,
vote for peacock!
Bholi-ji, why is Choocha getting
more waves than you?
I'm here to serve my nation.
it's not about the tides
and surf of the waves of the campaign.
Crowds will wave for 500 bucks a pop.
But isn't it true,
Choocha is more popular than you
and the public genuinely love him.
Crowds even love a circus joker.
But a joker can never replace
the ringmaster.
Are you calling your opponent a joker?
It's you who's saying it.
All I'm saying is,
arrange a debate between him and I.
I challenge you,
I'll expose him publicly.
Fine. Let's do it now.
The battlefield is being set.
Let's go to opponent Choocha.
Madam, you only dictate,
how you debate?
This is the only chance to meet Choocha,
face to face.
Choocha-ji, Bholi Punjaban
has thrown a challenge for an open debate.
But why are you
throwing your spit on me?
Hello... listen up.
What challenge? Why debate?
Our issues are clear.
It's in the manifesto.
No challenge, no debate.
Fine. No problem.
I understand their fears and hatred.
But, like how Rahul-ji hugged Modi-ji,
Bholi will hug Choocha
in the same way
to clear any hatred or fear.
What say people?
Yes! Yes!
Victory, victory! Bholi Punjaban!
Breaking news!
You are about to witness
a landmark moment.
It has happened once earlier.
In Parliament.
Here's a repeat.
On a public platform,
for the first time in television history,
a first story in history,
tanks are on the roads.
We have to stop Bholi.
She's got an evil plan.
No huggies.
What are you saying?
I mean we don't accept
the hug offer.
I see.
How long will you protect him?
The eagle will eventually catch her prey.
No debate, no hug.
Sorry, Mister reporter.
Your ratings will have to take the hit.
Put it up elsewhere.
Meet me in Khatri Dharamshala.
Come alone.
Why is this in the middle of the road?
Choocha, welcome!
I get it!
Bholi's surprise 18th birthday party!
No. It's not Bholi's birthday.
Bholi's marrying Bobby.
She'll become my sister-in-law.
-No! No!
-Hey, Choocha!
No, Bholi! Don't do it.
Don't marry Bobby.
I don't want to be an uncle to your kids.
Specially not your and Bobby's kids!
I'll do whatever you say.
Please marry me, Bholi.
Bobby boy, why are you staring
at Choocha's face?
Marry me fast.
We'll ride to Goa on horseback
for our honeymoon.
What! A horseride to Goa.
That was my plan.
We were to go there.
Yes, that was the plan.
But not anymore.
Why? What happened?
Has my horse grown horns?
No. But you've grown wings.
You've started flying high.
Yo, lazy priest.
What are you waiting for?
Start the ceremony.
No, Bholi!
-Bholi, I promise...
I want nothing except you.
I won't run for minister against you.
I promise.
Get lost, Hunny's pet.
Sister, save Bobby.
Bholi isn't a good person.
I object to this wedding.
Bholi, I'm pregnant with your child.
My stomach is growing.
Idiot, take your wind-filled stomach
to your mother.
She'll give you a spoonful of antacid.
Get lost.
Come, handsome.
Fine. Marry this Zulu man.
You'll lose out.
Because I won't tell you
that I have a new gift from God.
What did you say?
You heard me.
We're no longer Fukras.
We're rich as sheikhs.
Sheikhs from Trans Yamuna.
I thought I'd make you my lady-sheikh.
But, it's fine...
You don't fancy a camel.
Ride a giraffe instead.
Okay, bye.
Bye, Bobby, Keep in touch.
Bye, guys.
Choocha, wait.
I'm ready to ride the camel.
-But, I have a condition.
-I agree!
Come inside and tell me
about your new gift.
Where's she taking him?
I didn't know it was a fake marriage.
-What's going on?
-She'll make Choocha spill everything.
Open out the buffet
before they get down to business.
Bobby boy, now Choocha is my groom.
You can buzz off on a broom.
Why are you staring at me?
What can I do if Choocha isn't home?
You asked me to drop him home.
Not keep a watch on him all night.
That's Pandit-ji's job.
Don't be cheeky. Get inside.
"Pandit-ji's job", my foot!
Where will we look for him?
This dart in the dark
will poke us in the backside.
Hello, I'm Choocha.
Did you marry Bholi?
Bro, she begged me.
She said, she was pregnant
with my child.
I was helpless.
Choocha, you need Hunny's help
to untie your drawstrings.
Did you impregnate her
with your wise cracks?
See how helpless he looks!
He's shamelessly smiling
like Bugs Bunny.
Bholi took that selfie.
And for a selfie,
one has to pout like a pig.
What a--.
Tell us, where you are.
Where are you, Choocha?
Hello? Choocha?
Hello, Choocha?
Phone testing 1, 2, 3, 4.
It's no more.
Where's Choocha?
A cup of tea, brother-in-law?
Where's Choocha, Bholi?
Must be playing
with the kids outside.
-I'll have some.
-Even I don't mind.
Good. Make me a cup, too.
The wedding took place in such a rush,
I couldn't send an invitation.
Don't worry.
There's a reception next week.
Pick your respective invites.
It'll save me the trip.
Madam, please book Billa Halwai
for catering.
First, let me taste the tea.
If I approve the sample,
the business is yours.
Where's the kitchen?
What do you want?
My share.
Who the hell do you think you are?
Your sister-in-law.
This act may work somewhere else.
I have conducted
many such fake weddings.
Agreed. The wedding is fake
and so is the ring.
Even the priest.
But the love in his heart
for me and you is real.
We are two sides of the Choocha coin.
Unwilling, yet we must co-exist.
-Or else...
-Where's the salt and pepper?
Are you making sweet tea or a chutney?
It's our special tea.
I must add a pinch of black pepper.
Inside the toilet,
above the washbasin.
Salt in the toilet?
Maybe their toothpaste doesn't have salt.
That's why.
Delivered your punchline?
May I proceed?
Look, arguing won't get us anywhere.
This time, no arm twisting.
We will be equal partners.
Not only that,
I am also withdrawing
from the elections.
Choocha will get a clear win.
Madam, where's your spice box?
I want moti elaichi.
It gives tea a kick.
If you don't enjoy it, don't blame me.
What is moti elaichi?
He wants fat elai...
Who's mom?
Okay. Open the fridge.
Put your face in.
Behind the milk bottle
you'll see a red box.
-Mom is chilling there.
-Thank you.
What if we refuse?
I'm the fixer you need.
You won't get far without me.
If you see sense in this deal,
send me a WhatsApp.
How much sugar--
Two spoons.
Are you crazy?
Let's tell the Chief Minister...
Our entire plan will go bust.
We'll become public servants.
The government will at least treat us
with respect.
But Bholi will treat us like dogs.
The government will provide protection
and give us 2-5 percent
of the total sales.
Imagine the amount we will make
on a billion dollar sale.
Do the math.
I'll explain it to you.
Madam, Bholi. Uncle Shinda is here.
-He's waiting outside.
-Get out of my way!
-Keep calm.
Where's Choocha, Bholi?
No greeting nor a hello?
No reply to my calls either.
Couldn't do one job properly
and you're here making weird sounds.
Who's this princess?
Didn't you recognise her?
This is Mombasa.
Are you here to find her a match?
Yes. Mombasa wants to tie the knot
with Choocha.
Tie the knot with Choocha?
His brain has been tied in knots
since forever.
How much more can he be tied?
-What drama is this?
-You're the one with the drama, Bholi.
Get me water.
Choocha has stolen my diamond.
I've been trying to kidnap him
since six days.
I never got a chance
and your guys took him.
Where is he?
Did you see him getting kidnapped?
With my own eyes. I'm not blind.
-Get me water.
Prakash, tell her.
I was getting her an ice cream.
-Yes, Gelato.
And I was walking when...
I saw Choocha at the phone booth.
Dressed as a groom...
Bholi, let me see your bangles.
Mrs. Choocha...
No! I'm doomed!
She stole my groom!
My Choocha, my love bloom.
-Calm down, child.
-I'm gloomed and doomed.
-Breathe or your lungs will burst.
-My sweetheart, Choocha!
She's having an epileptic fit.
Make her smell a leather shoe.
You she-devil!
You husband-stealer!
You jealous!
You kidnapped my Choocha,
you married him forcefully.
Mombatti! Jealous, my foot.
Stop barking or I'll hand you over
to the dog-catchers.
Be quiet, child.
Take a breath. My poor child.
Will you have some buttermilk?
Calm down.
Choocha's been kidnapped?
I didn't order it.
Hunny won't do it.
Who could do it?
Get on with it, Kim and Rihanna!
Turn the boy around.
No, no, no!
Please, sister.
I mean, trans-sister, don't hurt me.
Dhingra, even if a single leaf
from my tree is cut,
my wife will mow down
your entire lawn.
You don't know what my wife
is capable of.
Please, sister. I'm begging you
with my tied hands.
Please spare me.
Stop them from assaulting
your husband, Bholi!
Dhingra, you wanted us
to dismember Bholi's husband?
Mother Bholi will turn us to ashes.
Don't talk nonsense.
Bholi is campaigning against him.
How can she be his wife?
Besides, have you seen his face?
Excuse me, what's wrong with my face?
I have a gap in my front teeth.
Just like a cute rabbit.
Cute, my ass!
Dhingra, please don't hurt Choocha.
First tell me, did you marry Choocha?
Really, Bholi?
No... no, Bholi, no!
Bholi, you were the Samantha Fox
of our colony.
Boys would desire you
and you never paid heed to them.
And who did you land up with?
Chooch Pitt?
Dhingra, I don't need a personal throwback.
But, here's what your future
could hold for you.
Bholi Punjaban will rule the world
because of Chooch Pitt.
Know this for now.
Choocha isn't an ordinary man
but a million-dollar baby.
Didn't get it?
Tell me the place. I'll explain everything.
Come to the water park.
We'll sell fuel with the government.
And earn dollars through commission.
Pandit-ji, are you a slow soap opera?
Couldn't you tell us this plan earlier?
I've blistered my hands
stirring the concoction.
-Answer it.
-Take it.
Dhingra has kidnapped Choocha.
-That crocodile?
And to save Choocha,
I had to let him on your God's gift.
He has claimed stake, too.
What the hell!
Every Tom, Dick and Harry
will ask for their share.
He isn't your regular John Doe.
He's a crocodile.
And when you're in deep waters
you don't mess with the crocodile.
We need water to make the fuel.
Gallons of water.
And you know this.
Dhingra is the only one
who can create rivers in Delhi.
Captain-saab, don't think so much.
Get the team and meet me
at the water park.
If you try anything,
it'll cost Choocha his life.
Fine, Bholi-ji. Book us a cab.
You've made millions
but you still behave like a pauper.
Madam, old habits die hard.
Now Dhingra's also become our partner.
Lock. Done. Sold.
You got me hooked.
This is a goldmine.
Let's begin!
What a show you guys have put up!
I have no more cash, sir.
I thought Dhingra uncle would exchange
old phones with new ones.
Brahmpal, listen to me.
Stop the Delhi water supply.
Recall all the tankers.
Jab into Mother Earth's womb
and suck out every drop of water.
Hello? Yes?
Got it.
No more water.
-How can you stop the supply?
-I don't need to give you a reason.
No more water.
Move out!
What is this atrocity?
They made tall claims...
messiahs of the poor.
Cheaters! We don't have water
to drink or clean up.
There isn't a single drop of water.
Didn't they promise us free-flowing water?
Where are all of them now?
Choocha, Bholi, every candidate
is the same.
All politicians are frauds.
It's water now. Once they win,
they'll suck out our blood.
Move! Or I'll run you over.
Sir, what happened?
Please tell us.
Breaking news!
A truck ran over a school student
for just one bucket of water.
He's currently in a coma
and is fighting life and death.
According to sources, this is connected
to the Delhi-Faridabad border--
Bro, he's the kid from our school.
Who did this to him?
We did.
People of Delhi are extremely upset
with Choocha aka Dilip Singh.
All his promises seem to be a lie.
Rumours are that Bholi and Choocha
have joined the tanker mafia
and they are responsible
for the extreme water scarcity.
Dhingra uncle's calling.
The water's ready.
Make petrol quickly. Come!
Hey, Eddie. Come on.
Let's go.
Bro, why aren't you coming?
Come on!
Move it. Let's go.
Hunny, Choocha, run!
Please don't turn water into fuel.
If the Fukras run, Dhingra will kill us.
Bholi will flare up.
Bobby bro, if we don't help the Fukras,
Day Zero will be here like Cape Town.
No water, earth will dry, people will die.
-Run, guys. Run!
-Let's go.
Enough of running.
First, from Bholi. Then, Babulal.
But now, enough.
Not anymore.
We won't run anymore.
Look who's here?
My hydrocarbon!
Get to work. Hurry!
We won't do it.
We'll die but won't let India
turn into Syria
and Delhi into Baghdad.
What is he saying?
Wait... let me talk to him.
What's this new tune?
We've come to our senses, Bholi-ji.
I forgot my roots.
I forgot, I am a farmer's son.
Water is no less than God for us.
It breathes life into our crops.
This fight for oil has only caused death.
Dhingra will knock you off your senses,
if he loses it.
He'll cut you up
and feed you to his crocs.
Let him do it.
We've been useless all our lives.
At least in death,
we'll be of use to our country.
I just saw a deja-chu about you.
Forget it. I don't want to hear it.
Okay then, listen.
I saw a crocodile--
Stop with your deja-chu about me!
Bloody deja-chums. Fukras, assholes!
-We had a deal, Pandit.
-Bholi, tell him to let go...
I've wasted millions on the election.
And they're going chu-chu...
-Let go!
-I have my ways.
Dhingra always
gets what he wants!
Save the kids, Bholi-ji.
I'll extract every drop
of urine and sweat from you.
-Didn't get it?
-Let him go!
Catch them.
Let go!
Leave him! Run, Choocha!
Catch him!
Let me go!
Stop, Choocha!
Look at the water hippo.
Bro, whenever you get done with them,
try the slide.
It's amazing!
if we escape from here alive,
just give me one day
alone with Choocha.
Just one day. Please.
It's a deal, Lali.
Madam, what to do?
Dhingra, listen to me--
The Madam wanted to play minister.
Neither got a seat nor a brothel.
Take her with the Fukras
and tie her up.
Get me down. Enough.
It's very heavy.
Look, Lali.
We're dead.
Pandit-ji. Is it what I think it is?
A crocodile!
The crocodile was Choocha's idea.
He's dead meat.
You'll get him alive, only if we survive.
We'll survive if you hold the dumbbells.
If you drop it, it'll ruin the balance.
We'll die!
It's coming this way.
Dhingra desires rain
and nature doesn't abide?
That can't be.
Hunny, I can't hold it any longer.
The dam to my bladder
can burst any time.
No! One drop leaks from you
and Delhi will be damned.
-Hold it in, Choocha. You can do it.
-Oh, God!
Hold it!
I'm dizzy.
Don't drop it.
Pandit-ji, I can't hold it any longer.
Don't leave the dumbbell, Lali.
Sir, once more with Lali, please.
We're done for.
-Pandit-ji, are you okay?
-Shut up!
Shoo! Go away.
I am vegetarian. Don't kill me.
Go away!
Run, guys. Run!
Let's go.
Enough of running.
First, from Bholi. Then, Babulal.
But now, enough.
Don't we want to save Delhi
from Day Zero?
We'll need your phone please.
Please, brother.
Last time we called the Chief Minister.
This time, call the Prime Minister.
Come on, Choocha.
You've parroted a lot of speeches.
Now talk to your public,
straight from your heart.
Hello, guys. How are you?
I am fine, thank you.
Hunny told me to speak from my heart.
But there's such a cross connection
of thoughts between my head and heart.
That I don't know which one
to share with you?
Okay, got one! Listen up.
When I was younger, in my childhood,
once while getting drenched in the rain,
my Papa said,
"Son, rains fall equally on everyone
"and each one has an equal right
to that water.
"And if anyone tries to steal
the others' share
"they're born as lizards
in their next life."
I realise, the water meant for you
was stolen from you because of me.
But I see it clearly now.
I want to give you
the water you deserve.
Because I don't want to become a lizard
in my next life.
So, please listen carefully.
I'm sending a location pin
with this video
and I've an appeal to you
to claim your share of the water.
Because it's time to return
what the public rightfully deserves.
Jai Hind! Jai Delhi!
Choocha reporting. Over and out.
Mummy, watch this.
Drums will play
from every corner
Lali, I think the Army is here.
The troops have arrived.
No. It's the public.
Everyone is drenched with joy
Make some noise,
beat those drums
Play 'em loud
make everyone dance
Mayday. Mayday.
This is the enemy bunker.
Over and out. Mayday!
Wet and wild,
let us friends have some fun
We don't have a care now
Lift those two left feet and dance,
kick up a tornado in the waters
Make the most of what you've got,
there's no punishment
People will come and go,
our messiah will always be there
Make some noise,
beat those drums
Play 'em loud
make everyone dance
Don't come here.
Get back, out of the water.
Don't you hear me?
There's a crocodile here.
Crocodile under water!
-They can't hear us.
-Crocodile under water!
Go back!
Save us! The ice is melting.
We'll all die.
Aunty, I'm Choocha.
It's me who called you here.
Where the hell are Bobby and Eddie?
I'll get strangled.
-What's this?
-Black beans.
Careful. My food will spill.
Forget your food.
Get out of my way.
Here you go.
You're so kind, Mamacita.
You risked your life to come here
after seeing my video.
That's true love.
So what if it is one-sided.
-You won't get it.
-I get it.
That's Lali's love story in a nutshell.
Always one-sided.
-You okay?
What's happened to him?
-Don't worry, Mombasa.
-I seek your blessings.
Such a good boy.
Come, child. Say hello.
Come on. Meet each other.
Can some--
All our sins have been washed away,
at the cost of one slipper.
How should our leader be?
Like Choocha.
How should our leader be?
Like Choocha.
Vote for Choocha.
Vote for Choocha.
Vote for Choocha.
-Let's go!-Vote for Choocha.
-Vote for Choocha.
Where are you going?
Home. Where else?
A woman usually moves in
to the man's house after marriage.
She goes to her maternal home
only when she's pregnant.
This time, he's definitely getting beaten.
Pandit-ji, no kiss this time.
He's getting slapped, for sure.
My little Choochie bear.
At least check with your mom,
if she'll allow Bholi
to set foot in her home?
It's a family film.
Don't you dare put her photograph
on my wall!
For the last time,
listen to me loud and clear!
You won't get that don into my house.
Why not? If dad can bring a witch home,
why can't I get a don?
Get started.
That's it, almost!
Getting beaten up by your mother,
is a part of life.
That might not change.
But, the doors
to the Fukras bright future
were surely opening.
As you can see , the celebrations have
begun for Choochas win.
Long live Choocha!
People of Delhi have chosen Choocha
as their leader!
Here, Choocha was gathering love
and votes of the people.
And on the other hand, we got a call
from the Petroleum Ministry in Bengaluru.
There's a saying in Punjabi.
The donkey is back where it belongs.
It was in the Fukras destiny
to serve Delhi
but not make easy money with fuel.
Choocha pooped the diamond out
and destiny pooped on the Fukras.
We may be Fukras for the world.
But we're priceless in our own eyes.
Rub us any way but we will shine!
Let's see where the next escapade
takes the Fukras.
Until then, take care. Bye.
Bro, I saw a deja-chu.
Fuk-fuk Fukrey.
Welcome to the 3rd season.
Bubbles rise in my heart
We're saying the truth,
Believe us, babe!
I'm crazy about you
You're crazy about me
Let's take it forward
Here come, the freaky Fukras
Here come, the freaky Fukras
That's it!
We're looking for love
and found it in your pretty face
I see stars in the day
when I see you
Single we remain
in hope to be with you
My love
My poppet
has come to set the party on fire!
He looks at me
with his pretty blue eyes
to make me swoon
With passion in our hearts
we've come to sweep you off
How can we take it forward?
We've come to plead with you
Here come, the freaky Fukras
Here come, the freaky Fukras
Let's fix us up
Like us sitting in a red Ferrari
Seated next to me
I'll show you the moon and stars
But you got me arrested
With your one look
Don't give me attitude
Here come, the freaky Fukras
Here come, the freaky Fukras
Hold onto your hearts,
here come the eligible bachelors
Cruisin' the streets
of our capital city, Delhi
I came across Amar Colony in Delhi
In its narrow lanes, many stories unfold
Hold onto your hearts,
here come the eligible bachelors
I've become famous in your city
I've become famous in your city