Funeral Kings (2012) Movie Script

Shit, man, you've got to bring
up the book.
- What are you talking about?
- You've got to go man, I can't.
- Why not?
- I... can't.
Well shit man, neither can I.
How'd they find out?
You fucking idiot!
What's the matter, Bobby?
Are they going
to tell my parents?
Dude, what's going on?
Nothing, take this!
Where are you going?
We're not going to hang?
I can't, alright?
What are we supposed to do?
I don't know, man.
I'm not your babysitter.
Just tell me what's going on!
- I can't!
- Why not?!
Because you're a little kid,
I'll see you tomorrow.
And she does this all the time?
Yeah, man.
The baby's got to eat.
So her tits are just
hanging out for anyone to see?
No, man.
Jesus Christ!
She wears something over it,
the baby just goes underneath.
Boy your dad did it right
this time.
I would give my left hand
to see your step mother's tits.
Come on, man!
What are you doing?
Mind your fucking business,
What are you doing?
Who has time
to memorize 40 vocab words?
There's a test?
Clear your desks.
Take out your number 2 pencils.
Principal's office...
after the exam.
Mr. Thompson?
Can you send Andrew Gilmour down to
the office? He has to serve a funeral.
Be prepared to take the test
tomorrow, Andrew.
No problem!
What's going on, Bobby?
I've got to hide this
in your room!
You can't go in there.
My parents are going to wake up!
When are you going
to be back to pick it up?!
I don't know.
Don't open it...
...and don't tell Charlie.
Andy, what's going on?
Nothing, Charlie had to pick up
a text book.
Are you kidding me? No way,
you're like five-years-old.
Eat a dick, I'm fourteen!
Chill out, dude.
- Hey Rye!
- Hey what's going on?
Is Miss Nolan back yet?
I'm pretty sure she's out
for the next week.
- Awesome.
So you do the paper or what?
Hell no.
Good neither did I!
Don't be late for class.
Alright, we'll try.
See ya.
I would do awful awful things
to that girl.
- Why are you still here, man?
- Uh, I've got money.
- Make it twenty-five.
- Twenty.
Here you go.
Just stuff it in your pocket.
I don't want some teacher seeing me
selling to a fucking kindergartener.
Fuck you, man!
See ya later, man.
Dude, where were you?
You've got to start
reading the obits, dude.
I knew this lady died
three days ago.
I just came right here.
Bobby came over
to my house last night.
For what?
Where is he now?
I don't think he's coming in.
Well look at you boys.
Don't you look handsome
in your albs.
All dressed up for the funeral!
Mrs. Edward is probably looking down from
heaven now, saying, "What handsome boys
are serving my funeral!"
She's a lucky lady!
Thanks, sister.
This is David.
He'll be taking over for Robert.
What happened to Bobby?
Bobby has not made
the best choices, boys,
and now he's suffering
because of them.
Keep your prayers with him.
Did sister say
when Bobby was coming back?
Who's Bobby?
- The kid your filling in for.
- I think I'm replacing him.
For how long?
For like, forever.
No, he's coming back.
That's not what sister said.
How old are you?
- Thirteen.
- You smoke?
- Uh, no.
- You drink?
Should we be talking
on the altar?
Oh, Jesus...
What the hell happened
to Bobby?
I don't know. He called me at like
midnight, and dropped off this trunk.
It weighs like
a hundred pounds.
What's inside it?
- Where are you going?
- Uhhh.
We only have
a couple more hours in the day.
None of our teachers
expect us back.
I don't really mind going back.
If you go back,
we have to go back.
You're not going
to get in trouble.
So where should I go?
I don't know, man.
Anywhere but class.
Yeah, dude, just go to the
baseball field or something.
Oh, alright...
Baseball field's that way,
Oh I know, I was just going to get
something quick from my locker.
Just fucking come with us.
God damnit...
Why didn't he drop it off
at my place?
I don't know, man.
Maybe I'm more trustworthy.
Dude, I'm not even supposed
to be telling you this!
That's some bullshit!
What's inside?
There's a pad lock.
So, bust it off with a hammer.
My parents were downstairs!
I don't know, just wrap it in
a sock or something.
You're an idiot.
That wouldn't work.
Okay, how else
are you going to open it?
I figure we just pick the lock.
Yeah, that'll work.
And you'll be able to stuff
the movie in your pants.
No dude, that guy keeps
all the movies in the back.
It's just the cases
out on the shelves.
So go around back.
Are you fucking nuts?
That dude'll kill me!
Bobby did that once,
and the guy
pulled a fuckin gun on him.
That's not true.
Yeah it is, man.
You guys can borrow some money from
me so you don't have to steal it.
It's "R" dipshit.
We could bribe him.
Yeah, good luck.
How much money you got on you?
Are you serious?
Look, man, I'm turning seventeen in
a couple weeks. Just give me a break.
You look like
you just got out of diapers.
Come on, man... please?
You think I give a shit
about twenty bucks, kid?
Put it back
and get the fuck out!
What'd you expect?
Come on, dude, I look old.
How old do I look?
Uh, I don't know, 14?
Yeah, but how old could I be?
- Uh...
- 14! You look like you're 14!
I look older than you!
Where's he going?
Don't worry about it.
Hey Cheng!
One all-you-can-eat buffet.
How's your brother doing?
He just get out of the hospital?
You from Iowa or Wisconsin
or something?
No, I'm from California.
No shit!
I've got an uncle in Cali.
He's an extra.
He's been in a ton of movies.
There was this one really funny show he
was in that he was telling me about
that he actually said
something in.
They only made one episode though,
so it never made it to TV,
but you know, it sounded
pretty cool.
It was probably a pilot.
Yeah... probably.
Yo! Let's just sneak the trunk out
while your parents are sleeping.
We can bring it to the fort and
bash off the lock with a rock.
No way, dude.
Why not?
My parents are light sleepers.
We'd wake them up.
Wait. Wait!
Don't be such a pussy.
You'll keep an eye out,
while I lug it out.
You can't carry it,
it's way too heavy.
Fuck you, man.
I'm serious, we'd need
at least another person
just to keep an eye out
for my folks.
What about Felix?
No, man. I'm not letting that kid
anywhere near my step-mom.
Especially while she's asleep.
So what night
are you guys doing this?
We'd do it tonight.
You want to help?
- It's a school night.
- And...?
Uh, I can't
hang out on a school night.
Let me tell you something,
If you want to make friends
in this town...
You can't be a pussy about
What the fuck?!
- What?
- You've got to be shitting me!
That fuckin' bastard!
The kid who sold me the god
damn cigarettes.
- How much were they?
- 25 fuckin' bucks.
Get more fuckin' egg rolls!
What crawled up your ass?
Some kid sold him
an empty box of cigarettes.
Oh, no.
How much did they cost?
- Not that much.
- 25 bucks.
Now that's embarrassing!
Thanks a lot, asshole.
Did you pay for this?
- Yeah, obviously.
- All of it?
It's all you can eat, man.
You coming tonight, or what?
Wait, coming where? You going
to help us with the trunk?
- I don't know.
- What'd I just tell you about?
- What the fuck!
- Watch where you're going!
Fuck you asshole!
Fucking cock sucker!
Relax, man!
He spilled all my egg rolls,
that shit's expensive!
I paid for the food, man.
Chill out.
Hey uh, do you still have that 20
bucks you borrowed from me?
Yeah... um...
I'm going to have to pay you
back tomorrow or something.
- Who's that?
- Amanda Prescott.
Dude! Stop looking at her,
she's going to notice!
Did you see that look?!
Oh my god, man.
You were looking at her
like a prison inmate.
You're that kid, right?
The kid
from the newspaper article?
Yeah, you're in that movie!
- Yeah, you see it?
- Not yet.
It's supposed to be
really messed up, right?
Some dad stabs his wife
to death or something,
and makes his kid watch?
- Yeah, I was the son.
- Oh my god, that's awesome!
Why'd you move out here?
To live with my mom.
So what are you guys,
freshmen or something?
- Oh no, we're-
- Yeah, we're freshmen.
Right on, so are you guys
going to the party on Friday?
Yeah, there's supposed to be some like amazing
party that some sophmore is throwing.
Yeah, we'll probably hit it up.
You should!
Well we gotta go, but we'll
see you later, movie star!
You were in a fuckin' movie?
- Why didn't you tell us?
- What movie was it?
Bloody Knuckles.
Bloddy fuckin' Knuckles?!
Jesus Christ, man. That's unbelievable,
and you were that kid
that, like, watches
his dad murder his mom?
Yeah, it was pretty cool too, They had him,
like, stab her with a knife that went in,
so it wouldn't hurt her...
What are you doing home?
We weren't that busy at the bar.
Where are you going?
I've got to go to Andy's.
I gotta get a text book.
Oh, alright. Have fun.
Wait a minute.
It's midnight.
Yeah, well I've got to study,
so what am I going to do?
Your mom knows you're going?
Yeah, and keep it down.
You're going to wake her.
Yeah, alright.
Don't stay out all night.
What took you so long?
Blow me!
Hold on.
Alright, come on up.
Are you kidding me?
Hurry up!
- No way! Open the back door!
- Just climb!
Open the... This is quicker,
just climb the rope!
There's no fucking way I'm
climbing up your
piss soaked,
dinosaur, fucking blankets.
Where are you going?!
I'll ring the door bell
if I have to.
You ready?
- I guess.
- Just keep a look out.
If any lights come on,
just give us the signal.
Knot's ready.
Let's do this thing.
Jesus, this thing's heavy.
I told you!
Guys. Uh, guys!
Ca-caw! Ca-caaw!
- What happend, is someone up?
- I think so!
Yo, Dave. Dave!
- Yeah?
- Is he gone?
I think so.
Seriously dude,
make the signal next time!
I can hardly breathe under
that bed.
Don't be such an asshole.
You're not an asshole, Dave.
Dude, stop kissing his ass.
One... Two... Three!
What the hell
is the matter with you?
Sorry, Jesus Christ.
Try it again.
Holy shit!
Can you see inside?
No, I need a flash-light.
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
You've got to be kidding me.
Go away!
Whose dog is that?
It's the neighbor's.
They never tie him up.
- Shit!
- Fuck.
Are you shitting me?
Alright, give me the lantern.
Can you see anything?
No, not really.
Holy shit!
Are those fireworks?
Oh my god.
What? What?
We could use a hammer...
If a rock didn't work,
a hammer won't either, man.
What about a crowbar?
- You have a crowbar?
- Yeah, good point.
My dad's got a buzz saw!
You know how to use it?
Yeah, you just flip the switch.
Where are we going?
We've just got to make
a little pit-stop.
Do you really think
this is necessary?
Of course it is!
Who's car is this?
Don't worry about it.
That'll mess up the paint!
No kidding...
Come on, one's enough.
You remember what this kid
did to me?!
I'm going
to make this one count!
Dude what the hell!
This kid's going to kill you!
What the fuck?
What the fuck?!
The fuck!!
When they show it on TV,
do you get paid for that?
I don't know. My parents just
sort of give me an allowance.
Wait, wait, wait.
You didn't even get paid?
My parents will give it to me
when I'm older.
I don't know, man.
We're never
going to find this thing.
I saw that girl you like
this morning.
- Who?
- Amanda, cross-country girl.
I think
she lives near my bus stop.
You guys still going to go
to that party?
Yeah obviously.
Our buddy, Felix, said his brother
could get us in.
Any luck?
No, dude, your dad
doesn't have a buzz saw.
Yes he does! Keep looking!
No. He doesn't.
Let's just grab some of his whiskey
and hang at the fort.
We're not stealing
my dad's booze!
It's not like he's going to notice.
Fuck you, man.
Hey, uh, Charlie?
Can I use your bathroom?
You gotta take a shit?
- Then use the bush outside.
- Why can't I go inside?
The movie star too scared
to go outside?
No, I can go outside...
You know that kid
hasn't even gotten paid yet?
He says his parents are going
to pay him once he's an adult.
There's no way they're just going
to give up a million bucks.
You think he got that much?
Yeah, even shitty actors
are millionaires.
Whatever, I would have done it
just to see Valerie Rossignol's tits.
He saw her tits?
Yeah Felix said she showed them
in the movie,
and if he was in the movie
he's definitely seen them.
She didn't show her tits
in the movie.
Yes she did!
Did Valerie Rossignol really show
her tits in Bloody Knuckles?
No! Did you get to see them
in person?
Shit, hide!
What is she doing home?
- What?
- Did she show her tits or not?
Oh, I don't really know.
Yo, I'm serious,
shut the fuck up!
I think you'd remember seeing those
gorgeous tah tahs in person, Dave.
No, I mean I don't know if she
showed them in the movie or not.
Tell me you saw the movie,
It was "R,"
and it was really violent...
Holy shit, Dave!
What is wrong with you?!
You haven't even
seen the movie?
I've seen the trailers and the
scenes I was in and stuff.
I saw the fuckin' trailers!
You were in the movie.
Do your parents have a copy?
My dad does.
Let's go get it.
He lives in California.
Who the fuck
are you living with?
Listen, it's not that big of a deal.
I don't need to see the movie.
It is a big deal, Dave.
It's a huge deal.
You were in the biggest movie
of last year.
Everybody saw it. Valerie Rossignol
shows her tits in it.
And you, the one guy
who deserves to see it, hasn't.
We've got to find a way
to get that movie.
You sure you want to do this?
Yeah, man.
Let's just get it over with.
Alright, don't pussy out on me.
Hey man, do you have
that new mini-series
from the Discovery Channel
about the end of the world?
All the movies
are in alphabetical order.
Yeah I was looking,
but I couldn't find it.
It should be there.
Maybe you can help me look?
Hey Iggy, I need to pick up.
I'm with a customer.
It's a fuckin' kid.
Give me a few minutes.
what do you think you're doing?
Come on, dude.
Please, please let me out!
Hey Johnny,
we don't have all day.
- Uh, I'll check the computer.
- No, no. It's alright.
Don't worry about it.
Jesus Christ, kid.
Sorry. He was just leaning against it
and it fell.
Well pick it up.
You want me to pick it up?
You expect me to pick it up?
- Stop! Just stop!
- Whoops.
Hey Iggy, I'm going to be back
in an hour. You going to be around?
Just give me a minute, kid.
Don't worry about it, man.
We'll come back later.
Oh shit.
Jesus Christ!
Dude, he had a gun!
He had several guns,
and he had bullets
and knives and shit.
He could've killed you!
No shit, David.
I had all this porn, too.
I fucking dropped it all.
Tell me you got
Bloody Knuckles.
I wasn't real worried
about the movie, man!
What the fuck, dude!
Who the hell
locked you in there?
The fuckin' douche, Ryan.
He's a jerk, huh?
Yeah, David he's a "jerk."
So you were in that movie, huh?
Did you see
Valerie Rossignol's titties?
Uh no.
That would've been awesome.
Yeah, I guess.
How big do you think they are?
What do you mean?
Like, what size?
Extra large?
They're huge.
I'll bet they're like
Did you see her
in Thunder-Riders?
Yeah, you know they digitally
enhanced her tits in that movie.
The fuck you talking about?
Yo, check it out! Molly and Sue
are sitting next to each other.
What do you think
they're talking about?
Fuck off, man.
Who's Molly and Sue?
These chicks that Charlie
was obsessed with.
Molly and sixth,
Sue in seventh...
and he tried to get with both of them,
but Bobby took them first.
His heart was so crushed.
I wasn't obsessed.
Yes you were.
He didn't get with Molly.
He tried,
and he definitely got with Sue.
Bobby didn't even know
I liked her!
Everyone knew you liked her!
And there he was
with his hands in her pants
while they were watching
Garden State.
I guess he didn't tell you,
because he didn't want you to
cry about it.
Fuck you, man.
Where've you been?
Doctor's appointment.
I've got big news!
What happened to him?
I told him about Molly and Sue.
Dude that whole Molly giving him
head thing was just a rumor...
Well, cheer up, man.
'Cause I got bolt-cutters.
Fuckin' impossible!
- Let me try.
- No it's pointless.
I can do it.
Charlie if I can't do it,
you can't do it.
Fuck you!
It's starting to give.
It's not giving at all!
Fucking impossible.
No one could break
this fucking thing!
He has a Black Genesis!
A what?
It's like one of the rarest
Dragon Cards.
Don't tell me
you play with that shit.
I don't play that often.
How much you think
I could get for that?
I don't know
if you could get anything
it's just like one of the
best cards in the game.
You can definitely
get something for it.
How much you gonna give him,
I'll sell it to you
for 50 bucks.
I don't have 50 bucks!
Fuck you talking about,
you're a millionaire.
I'm not a millionaire,
it was just one movie.
Yeah what's up with that
Nobody wants you
in their movies?
No, my parents just got into a fight,
so I moved back here.
What was the fight about?
I don't like to talk about it.
Your dad didn't want you
or something?
No, he just got into some trouble,
so I moved back here.
What kind of trouble?
He kill somebody?
Is he going to go to jail?
I hope not...
Woah. Seriously?
I hope he doesn't go to jail...
I don't know.
What the fuck happened, man?
There was this girl
I had a crush on,
she was older than me,
but we hung out a lot.
How old?
Twenty. She played my sister
in the movie.
Your sister?
Dude that's fuckin' weird.
Yeah, I guess.
Is she pretty?
I just wrapped up a scene...
Doing what?
You know...
I'm not following.
They were having-
Holy shit!
They were having sex?!
Oh my fucking god!
Was she naked?
That's awesome.
Wait, was your dad naked?
Yeah that's sort of
how it works.
But you got to see her naked!
That's fuckin' great!
It wasn't.
Yeah dude, he had to see
his dad's dick.
The fuck were you looking
at your dad's dick for?!
I wasn't looking at-
I don't want to talk
about this...
What'd she look like?
Alright, Charlie, cut it out.
Alright, alright.
Jesus, I'm just saying...
You know what we ought to do?
Bring all this shit to school.
Show everybody the gun.
What the fuck
is wrong with you?
You don't bring
a gun to school, Charlie.
That's how you land yourself
in Juvi.
You fuckin' retard.
God... You know it'd be
kind of cool though-
- You're an idiot.
- Yeah? Fuck you.
Is that what happened to Bobby?
- What? - Did he bring a gun
to school or something?
What are you talking about,
Is that why Bobby's in Juvi?
What the fuck?
Bobby's in Juvi?
That's what Sister said.
Are you fucking kidding me?
She kept saying
I should pray for him.
I wonder what he did.
Hey Andy?
You look tired.
I had a hard time
getting to sleep last night.
Is that right?
Yeah, why?
Is there anything
you want to tell me?
Like what?
Like where you were last night?
Come on Andrew. I heard you come in
at 12 in the morning.
Isn't this how your brother
got started?
Sneaking out, getting in
with the wrong crowd?
I'm not in
with the wrong crowd.
What were you doing?
I just needed to borrow a text
book from one of my-
Andrew, you're 14-years-old,
You're not a little kid
Look, I know
your friends are your friends,
but ultimately, you are responsible
for your own actions.
So what, are you going to tell
my dad?
No... I'm not going to tell
You know at some point,
you have to decide who you want to be
for the rest of your life.
You shoot it yet?
Nah, there weren't any bullets.
Where can we get our hands
on some bullets?
Dude, the store opens at noon.
Maybe it's a sign. I don't know
if I want to mess with this guy.
Yeah, a sign
that we have four hours.
Don't be a pussy-let's go!
Did she ground you?
She's not my mom,
she can't ground me.
Is she going to tell your dad?
I hope not...
Where's Felix and Charlie?
It's locked?
We should bail.
Hold on.
You know, Molly and Sue were
asking about you the other day...
No of course not!
Fuck you, man.
Piece of cake.
Oh shit.
You weren't kidding.
Dude, none of these are fitting,
we should bail!
Give me that!
Did you hear that?!
Have a seat.
Okay, so I know you're upset.
This is not my fault.
A guy smashed my window.
It's not like I left the car
door unlocked or something.
Jesus Christ.
I don't know
what I'm going to do with you.
Don't you factor it
into the price?
Factor it into the price?
Like a retail store, you raise the prices
to factor in shop-lifters.
Do I look like I own
a fuckin' retail store?!
I knew we shouldn't have hired
a little fuckin' kid.
I'm not a little kid.
Oh no?
You still a virgin, big guy?
- Fuck you!
- Seriously.
- I don't gotta take this shit.
- Sit!
Go ahead, tell me
what makes you a man.
I'm not an idiot fuckin' kid.
I sold a ton of shit last week!
I'm a business man,
and whether you like it or not
I'm helping your business.
You know what happens when a
business man loses his product?
He gets fired.
In this business,
it doesn't end there.
- We've got to get out of here.
- Shut the fuck up.
You really think
you're an adult
because you sell
drugs at your high school?
What do you do? You tell the girls that
you're the big man on campus?
Brag to them
about all the shit you do?
All the things you've done?
You know what the difference
between you and me is?
There are things
I can't even tell you.
I can't even tell these guys.
These are bad things
that I've done.
And I can't go to mommy and daddy
when I have a problem.
I have to solve the problem
And I never get caught.
There's no punishment,
no detention for me.
This kid is gonna
shit his pants any second now.
I'll treat you like an adult
as soon as you have
skeletons in your closet
that keep you awake at night,
because that's what makes
me an adult.
That, and you know,
I know what a pussy feels like.
That was strike one, man.
You only get two with me.
Get out of here.
Thanks Iggy.
I got to take a shit.
Dude, hurry it up we gotta...
...we gotta go!
Let's get the fuck out of here!
Go, go, go!
Holy shit!
That was crazy!
Did you get the bullets?
No way, man. I'm not shooting
this gun right now.
But did you get em?
Holy shit.
Let's just shoot it.
No way, man.
I'm going home.
What are you
going to tell your parents?
They're not home.
Dude, where were you yesterday?
What do you mean, "nowhere?"
I just didn't feel
like coming in, alright?
Well, where's Felix?
He said he had a doctor's
appointment, or something.
I'm glad you weren't sick.
I was afraid you wouldn't
make it for tonight.
Yeah I don't think
I want to go anymore, man.
What are you talking about?
You have to go!
Yeah, I'm not sure about it
If my mom finds out...
Your mom's not
going to find out!
She'll think we're
at the movies.
And Charlie, Amanda fucking Prescott's
gonna be there.
And she knows who we are.
We've got to go, man, come on!
How many times have you had a
crush on a chick and fucked it up?
Fuck you, man.
Dude I'm serious, there's
going to be tons of chicks there.
Maybe you could make out with
I'm just saying, you're 14.
It'd be about time.
...and that's my mom's room.
And this is the bathroom.
And this is my room!
This is sick!
Does this thing work?
Yeah it works!
Who signed that?
Oh just the director and Val...
You mean Valerie Rossignol?
You just call her Val?
What's this?
My mom wants me
to get rid of some stuff.
I thought you liked this shit.
Nah, I mean...
Not really.
You don't have to stop liking something,
just because we think it makes you gay.
You look like an idiot, man.
I thought we were supposed
to dress up.
Jesus Christ!
How much cologne
are you wearing?
You're supposed to smell it.
You guys have a ride home,
Yeah, uh, my parents are picking
us up at the movie theater.
Alright, here we are.
Are you sure
this is the right house?
Yeah the party's like
a couple blocks down.
- Why are we parking here?
- Felix!
Uh, Trent can't really
walk in with a bunch of us,
so you're just going to have to
go around back or something.
Are you going to show us
how to get around back?
Oh no!
I'm going with Trent.
Are you serious?
Either walk to the party...
or walk home.
Fuckin' dick.
Alright, the three of us
just can't walk through the
front door,
so we'll split up.
I don't want to go alone.
The two of you then.
Let's just go see the movie.
They're not going to call the cops.
Just relax.
Andy'll hold your hand.
Hey, what's going on?
Beer pong... cool, cool.
Stop bumping into me!
Hey! No fuckin' smoking
in the house!
Fuckin' relax, man!
The door's locked.
- There's a doorbell...
- Don't touch anything!
The door was locked.
Hey! You made it!
No thanks to you, cock sucker.
Where'd you get the beer?
They ran out of cups,
I stole two
from the beer pong table.
What the hell is in this?
Wipe it with your shirt!
There's a keg over there.
How do I use it?
You just pump it a bunch,
and you pull the trigger thing.
Yo, what up G?
Woah, camp fire!
Shut up, Dave.
Oh, shit!
It's okay.
Hey, you're friends with
that movie kid, right?
Yeah! What's going on?
You hang out
with that kid a lot?
Yeah, all the time.
Hey you don't have a
cigarette, do you?
Yeah, actually.
Follow me!
Yo Felix.
What's going on, dude?
Felix, dude.
Hey man, what's going on?
Where's the keg?
Over there.
They ran out of cups, though.
Check the cabinets.
Yeah... thanks.
How old are you?
Sixteen, baby.
Those are my
little brother's friends.
Oh my god, I'm so drunk.
Oh, yeah. Me too.
So how old are you?
Uh, 16...
I just look young for my age.
- You drive?
- Mmhmm.
What kind of car?
So your movie-star friend...
Is he going to be in anymore
Yeah, probably.
My uncle was in a TV show,
you know.
Oh yeah?
Yeah he was really good,
he said I might be
in his next one.
Just take the fucking beer!
Don't you have to be 18
to drive a motorcycle?
I'm fourteen.
Are you really fourteen?
Yeah I'm fucking fourteen,
how old do I look?!
I don't know,
you're a little...
Yeah, yeah, I have a baby face.
How old are you?
- Sixteen.
- Oh yeah?
I skipped second grade.
Yo, what's up?
Everybody here
is older than us.
She wants to be a model.
It's not going to happen.
Why not?
She's not pretty enough.
Uh, she's pretty good looking.
Prettier than me?
You want some?
What is it?
I don't know.
Something the guys
mixed for us.
You going to Richardson's
party next week?
Where is it?
His beach house.
He throws one every year.
Yeah, sounds pretty cool.
Alright, so like
I'll walk over there
introduce myself,
say a couple jokes...
and then you'll walk over
and be like,
"Yo dude, those chicks over
there were asking for you."
And I'll just brush it off
like I don't even need it.
Wait, what do I say?
Just say something that's
going to make me look cool,
and don't fuck it up!
Where have you been?
I've just been hanging out,
with Lindsey Prescott!
We're going to a party
next week!
Are you shitting me?
Did you get her number?
Dude, don't be a pussy.
I can't just like,
ask her for her number.
How are you going to call her
Alright, yeah... I guess.
Yo, where's Andy?
We're leaving.
He's talking to some girls... I've gotta go
over there in a second and say that he's cool.
You know I can't be
everywhere at once...
Yo I'm serious! Leave the bitches.
We're going!
Charlie, what the fuck, man!
I was mackin' it hard
with those chicks!
Yo, Charlie!
Oh my god.
Yo Charlie!
Forget it, man.
Let's go back inside.
Why'd you do it, Charlie?
Shut the fuck up, Dave.
Seriously, shut the fuck up.
You realize
how screwed we are, right?
Nobody knows who we are.
It's fine.
Yeah, Charlie.
But they saw
a bunch of middle school kids.
So you know
where the cops'll go?
They'll go straight
to the middle school, Charlie!
And you'll be sitting there
like a fucking idiot!
It's not my fault!
Oh okay, who threw a brick
through a fucking car window?
You sent me back in there! And there she
is making out with that fucking creep!
Who was?
Oh Please!
Like you even had a chance.
You wouldn't even know what to do
even if you did!
Stop acting like you know more
than me!
I saw that girl you made out with at camp,
she had a fuckin' mustache!
Fuck you! You look like your 10 years-old.
Stop kidding yourself!
You boys have fun?
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
What's it look like?
Just fuckin' wait a minute.
The fucking cops
broke up the party.
But not before I rounded second base
with a sophmore!
What the fuck, man!
Charlie totally screwed me!
So I was mackin' it
with this chick, right?
She was totally digging me,
Laughing at all my jokes
and stuff...
And then Charlie comes in,
and practically drags me out of the place.
He fucked it all up!
Dave! Get the fucking dog
out of the house!
You should have seen Dave, man.
Why'd Charlie cock-block you?
He was crying because he didn't
get with Lindsey Prescott.
Amanda Prescott's little
sister? Give me a break!
Yeah! So he bolted out of the
and threw a rock, through a
fuckin' car window!
That was you guys?! The cops
were all over that place!
Do you know who's car that was?
Yeah, Ryan Sullivan.
That dude's going to kill him.
I don't know, man.
When Ryan came out,
he made a huge scene.
The cops tried
to calm him down,
and a bag of pills
fell out of his pocket.
Yeah, man.
That kid's totally fucked.
No dude!
It was bullshit.
They thought I stole
some bitch's credit card.
Did you?
It was my buddy, Rick.
And he didn't steal it,
he found it.
How much did he spend?
I don't know, like three grand?
And my parents let the cops in my
house to search for everything!
They fucking helped raid my room.
It was ridiculous!
That's bullshit.
Yeah, whatever. I mean I got
everything out of my room
before anybody noticed.
Hey, Andy hasn't talked to you
about anything lately has he?
No... why?
I've got to talk to him
about that.
Hey you got any cigarettes?
Uh, yeah.
I've got two left.
Listen, man.
I might be in trouble...
I might be in some trouble...
Yeah, this kid fucked me over like a week ago,
and sold me an empty box of cigarettes, so I-
Of course he did, man.
You're a push over.
No man, I-
It's my mom.
I've gotta jet.
When are you
coming back to school?
I'm 16.
I'm not coming back.
I doubt it, man. They didn't seem
real worried about the window
when they found out
about the drugs.
Yeah, hopefully.
You know, they probably got those
pills from the video store.
Yeah, I was telling Charlie, that place
is probably like a drug cover.
It is a drug cover.
Yeah, I know, right?
No, I mean Charlie and I
saw the drugs.
He didn't tell you?
What are you talking about?
We saw them dealing drugs
when we were stealing the
bullets for the gun.
You stole bullets
from that guy?!
Hell yeah! But Charlie was too freaked out
to shoot it afterwards.
That's bullshit, it's my gun!
I thought it was Charlie's...
Where are the bullets now?
I've got them.
You want to shoot it?
I don't know, man.
Let's shoot it!
It's your gun!
Yeah, that's not really
a good idea.
What makes you think that Charlie's
not shooting it right now?
It's your gun,
go get it from him!
Charlie's got the gun?!
Charlie! Charlie!
Look, man...
I'm really sorry about-
Dude, give me my gun!
- Keep it down!
- Where is it?!
What are you
going to do with it?
We're gonna shoot it!
I don't know if that's
such a good idea, Andy...
I don't care what you think,
go get my gun!
Jesus, alright.
Where are we going?
You're not coming!
Why not?
'Cause it's my gun.
Well they're my bullets!
You should've just stayed on
set that day
and just waited for her to
take off her top.
They wouldn't have let me watch.
- I was only 12.
- You were in the movie!
They would've had to let you
stick around!
Listen, I've gone along with a lot
of things you guys want to do,
even when they seem
like a bad idea-
Relax, it's gonna be fine!
Let me shoot it first.
My uncle used to take me to
the firing range all the time.
I'm a crack marksman.
I'm shooting it first.
Don't people jog in these woods
and go horseback riding and stuff?
Why don't you go home if you're
so fuckin' scared, kid?
Come on, man.
Let me shoot it once.
No, man. Back off!
Alright, here we go.
You've gotta cock it, man.
Alright, I got it, man.
I got it.
Shit, that was awesome.
Give it to me!
I thought
you were a crack marksman.
Shut up!
Whoa! Haha!
That was awesome, man!
Let me try!
Yeah! First shot!
Dave, put a can on your head.
No way!
I'm serious...
Come on, man! It'll be harder
if you're moving!
Charlie! Stop!
Alright, alright,
I'm just fuckin' around.
Watch it!
Why didn't you catch it?!
You don't throw
a loaded gun at someone!
Jesus Christ!
Holy shit.
Maybe we should
check its pulse.
It's dead, man.
- We should bail.
- Someone check its pulse!
We gotta get the fuck out of here!
What if a ranger comes by?
We can't just leave it here!
We've got to bury it.
- No, man!
- Before it gets dark.
We can't bury it
under the fort, dude.
That's messed up.
Fuck this shit!
Felix. Felix!
This is far enough!
Just a little farther.
Come on, man.
This is fine.
Go get the shovels.
Just let me catch my breath.
Don't pet the dog, it's dead.
- Holy shit!
- He's alive!
We've got to take him to a vet!
What, are you crazy?!
We can't take a dog with a
bullet wound to the fuckin' vet!
What else are we gonna do?
I don't know
how to stitch up a dog.
They don't just stitch up
dogs with bullet wounds, man.
They just bring it around back
and put it to sleep.
Maybe I should call my mom.
No! No one's calling anyone!
We can't just go
running to our parents.
We have to handle this
What the fuck
are we supposed to do?!
Are you crazy?
We can't just wait
for the dog to die!
Chances are he'll be dead by the
time we're done digging anyway.
No fuckin' way, no way.
Dude, that's fucked up.
We have to take it to a vet!
Why? So they can kill him,
and call the cops,
and send us
to fuckin' juvenile hall?
And they don't just send you
there for a little while, man.
They send you there for a long
fuckin' time.
And it'll get us suspended,
and our parents'll never
look at us the same.
We have to do this ourselves,
We don't have another choice.
Dave, help me get the shovels.
We got to save this dog!
We have to.
Where are you going?
To get the god damn shovels.
It's alright, Dave.
We gotta do something.
Maybe we should
take him to the vet,
maybe they can do some-
Keep going, keep going!
...but I really don't think you
have to worry. He's doing fine.
Come on in, take a seat on the couch.
I'll get Mrs. Hamilton.
What did you guys tell them?
Shut up,
they're going to hear you.
We spoke to the veterinarian and
she explained the whole situation.
And we just want
to thank you boys
for doing everything you could
to help Clancy.
It's illegal to hunt
in those woods, you know.
We're just glad it wasn't one
of you kids that got killed.
You boys are very brave.
And we, uh, wanted to do something
for you guys.
Oh no, no, no.
We can't take that!
- Oh please take it.
- We want you to have it.
No, seriously.
It wouldn't be right.
You're David Mason, aren't you?
We, um, picked up a copy of Bloody
Knuckles after we read the article.
Oh, cool!
Yeah, nice.
You, uh, sign a copy for me?
That was brutal.
Who came up with the story?
Davey did.
Nice work, man.
Good call!
Why are you so dirty?
I buried the trunk.
But I managed to grab this.
The Green Dragon card!
Thanks, man.
I still can't believe they were going
to give us a hundred bucks.
Yeah, we should've taken it.
I got something better.
Jesus Christ, man!
What is wrong with you?
That's so messed up!
They can buy another copy with the hundred
bucks they were going to give us.
I can't believe
she didn't show her tits!
That's fucking bullshit!
But you were good though.
Thanks, man.
I'll see you tomorrow, Charlie.
Is Andy inside?
Because I need to get
something from him.
You mean the trunk?
He told you about that?
Trunk's gone, Bob.
Fuck off.