Funny Ha Ha (2012) Movie Script

Hi, how you doing?
All right.
Uh, you do tattoos, huh?
This is the place, yeah.
Wanna get tattooed?
Yeah, I was thinking
about getting a tattoo.
You know what you want to get?
Uh, no.
But I... I'm thinking
about it right now.
You wanna get like a tribal,
floral, Celtic designs, animal...
What's the one
with like the interlacing stuff?
The Celtic designs.
Yeah? That seems good.
Here, let me give you a book
on that you can look at it.
Oh, great.
Do you have any tattoos now?
No, no. This is it,
number one.
This your first one, huh?
And you really haven't
thought about what you want?
Oh, I've thought about it.
But you don't know
what you want to get.
How about the cow.
It's nice.
Where's it hurt the least?
Do you know?
The first one hurts the most.
The first one's
gonna hurt the most.
Yeah, it hurts
anyplace you get it.
Even if... I mean,
ok, uh... mmm.
I should tell you,
I'm a little bit drunk.
Oh, yeah, you don't
want to get it if you're drunk.
But won't that dull the pain?
No, that'd... no,
you can't sit still when you...
You may
throw up all over me.
Oh, I wouldn't do that.
Hell yeah,
I'm tellin' ya, it happens,
so, you know, and you're gonna
move around way too much,
and it's gonna be difficult
for me to tattoo you.
Is that... is it legal?
I mean, can you...
Yeah, you can tattoo somebody
if they're... but I won't.
it's just too difficult.
Too many headaches.
It's gonna be worse than
a headache
you have tomorrow morning
for me to tattoo you now
if you're drunk.
Where's all your friends today?
Uh... uh, they're...
Hmm, I don't know.
Well, your friends
won't let you get tattooed
if you're out drunk.
You always get the wrong thing.
It's there for the rest of your life.
Hey, what's goin' on?
Not much, how are you?
Are you really busy?
Hold on one second,
let me just send this thing.
Now I'm done.
Uh, I don't know.
Well, did you hear I got fired?
What? Really?
Like, fired?
Yeah, fired.
Wow. What did you do?
That's crazy.
Yeah, it's... it's crazy.
It was kind of
embarrassing, actually.
I went in
to ask for a raise...
And you got fired
for asking for a raise?
Wow. Did you...
What'd you just... huh.
How? I still don't...
I don't get it.
Yeah, no, no, I know.
I went in there and I was like,
asking for this raise,
and the guy was like,
"Marnie, do you
like working here?"
And I was like,
"uh, y-yes."
You know, I was too...
Yeah, it's too late
at that point.
It's too late, yeah.
So, I'm fired.
So what,
what are you doing now?
Uh, I am just
wandering the earth, you know?
And uh, I guess
I'm looking for a job.
I mean, you guys
aren't hiring are you?
We're looking for
programmers and stuff, but...
Yeah, I can't do that.
Yeah, you don't
wanna work here.
No. You don't wanna
work with me, either.
Really? Why?
Uh, I don't know, I can be
over-demanding, I think.
Hey, Marnie.
What's up?
Gimme a hug.
What are ya doin'?
I don't know,
just, you know, walkin'.
You should come with to dinner with us.
We're on our way
to dinner.
Yeah, come on.
What do you have to do?
What's in the bag?
Not too much.
No, just groceries.
Ok, I'll come.
Day in, day out, 10 hours
in front of the monitor,
fixing some crap
that some idiot broke.
That sounds good.
No, it's
boring as hell, man.
I wish I was you.
I wish I had your lifestyle.
Why? What do you mean?
I don't know, you're just
bopping along, and, you know,
friends pick you up
and we're going to dinner.
It just seems
spontaneous, more...
Yeah, well, c'mon,
you're going to dinner, too.
I know, but this is...
For us, this is
just what we're doing tonight.
You know, we got
this plan made in advance,
it's not
spontaneous at all.
This is
a commitment that we have.
It's excitement-packed.
Who are these people?
I mean, what...
Well, could be exciting,
I suppose, I don't know.
They're Travis' girlfriend's
engineering student friends.
Oh, great!
Yeah, see?
Travis' girlfriend's
engineering student friends?
I don't know, it doesn't sound
that exciting to me.
Well, you know,
you just have to try.
Yeah, come on,
it'll be like...
Don't be so anti-social.
It'll be
a spontaneous adventure.
We'll get some drinks...
Like my life.
And see
if it gets interesting.
You can break it down
engineering-style and stuff.
You guys ready?
Lori and Travis
actually aren't here yet.
So you guys maybe wanna come in?
Sorry we're kinda disorganized.
Hi, I'm Wyatt.
Hey. Dave.
Hi, I'm Marnie.
Wyatt. Nice to meet you.
Hey, have a seat.
This is Laurie on the phone.
She... she says they want to
meet us at the restaurant now.
We don't know where we're going yet.
What restaurant?
Uh, yeah,
let me find out. Hold on.
we're really disorganized.
It's ok.
Oh, so have
you guys all met?
We met at the...
Yeah, we saw her
at the door.
I just kind of
butted my way in.
It's Marnie, right?
I'm Dave. Yeah, we just
picked up Marnie along the way.
She was walking
outside of our apartment.
Real... oh, ok.
How do you guys
know each other?
Uh, we went
to school together.
Think I'm gonna check on
Laurie, see what's going on.
I don't know, I mean what...
So, you guys went
to school together...
Do you have Laurie?
Yeah, here, here, wait.
Let me talk to Rachel, ok?
I feel out of place.
In my...
In my own friend's place.
Well, I don't live here, actually.
Let me go help Rachel.
Is Travis being difficult? Yeah?
Animal zodiac.
What is your year?
Uh, monkey.
So, sometimes you can be
a little ill-tempered.
Really? Me?
And you'll have an opinion about it.
Pot calling the kettle black.
It's rougher. It's rougher.
I'm the year of the rat.
The rat! Oh!
Oh, Marnie, I'm so sorry!
No, it's ok.
Look, it's all right.
Oh, Jesus, I'm really...
No, don't worry.
It's totally, totally fine.
Oh, I'm... and I got it
all over your shirt.
Don't worry about it.
Listen, I'm just out of control.
I don't know what happened.
It's fine.
Look, you fixed it.
You sure?
Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
You all right?
Can you give me a ride
to the dentist tomorrow?
Oh, yeah, sure.
What time?
Wait, no, no,
I can't do that.
I'm supposed to have
lunch with Alex tomorrow.
Oh, the old pep talk?
Yeah, yeah, try and cheer
him up a little bit, you know.
That's cool.
I'll find some other way.
Is something
wrong with Alex?
No, there's nothing wrong
with him, exactly.
He's just going through
kind of a hard time.
Yeah, him and Nina
broke up.
Really? When?
It's like a week ago
or something.
I just saw him yesterday
and he didn't say anything.
Probably thought that
you already knew about it.
I'm gonna go
use the bathroom.
Dude, let's
just rent a movie.
You ok?
Yeah, I'm ok. I'm...
I don't know, I'm...
I'm in love
with Alex, and I...
I mean, I'm not
in love with him, but I'm...
But I have some
problem with him.
You have some...
You like Alex.
Well, that's cool.
Well, no, no, it's not.
It's not. I don't know.
So... where do
you guys stand?
I mean, how is it bad?
Do you wanna go
stand over there for a minute?
Uh-huh, lets go.
So, I don't know,
things stand that he's been
fucking going out with
Nina forever of course, and...
And they're... I did try to...
Like this one time, I was drunk
and I tried to basically tell
him he should be with me.
It was bad, you know?
Well, he was
going out with Nina.
I know, of course,
yeah, but it was just...
I could tell, you know?
It was just bad.
You know, he's not
going out with Nina anymore.
I know.
will be different.
No! But don't...
Don't tell me that, you know?
The last thing I need
to hear is... I can't...
It's ok. You never know
what's gonna happen.
But I do.
But it's already...
You know, it's already ruined.
It's just, I...
Listen, me and Dave, we...
We didn't start off like stable
and I didn't know what was going
to happen, and I took a chance.
And it turned out
pretty good, you know, but...
I know.
I mean, it's just...
It's not... it's not
that it's the only thing I...
I mean, I don't think about it
so much any more at all,
and now I find out about this.
You never know what's
gonna happen, you really don't.
You really,
really don't. I mean...
You and Dave are so awesome,
you know? I mean...
Thank you.
That's what it's all about.
Hey, what are you
ladies up to over here?
There he is.
I was just telling Rachel
how great you guys are.
And also, I was telling
Rachel that I like Alex.
Oh, you mean
you like Alex?
Ah, that's great.
That's fantastic.
No, no,
it's not, you know?
No, it is.
No, I mean, it's...
You know, it's obvious.
It all sort of...
It's obvious?
No, it's not obvious.
Like I didn't already know,
but I mean, it sorta makes
sense, you know what I mean?
I mean, you know,
you guys make a great couple.
No. No. No, it's not...
No, come on!
It's a great...
It's not a terrible thing.
Ooh, this is the
best night of the summer, man.
This is fucking fantastic.
I can't believe, you know...
I don't know, just things is...
This shit is real, man.
We got Marnie here,
we got beer,
we got food.
You know, life is good.
You are drunk.
You are drunk.
That's true.
Rachel is drunk.
I'm not wasted.
You drove here. You're
not wasted. You're responsible.
Yeah, you're drunk.
That's true.
Oh, Marnie,
how are you? You look sad.
Well... yeah.
I mean, I don't know, it's not
the best night of my summer.
Ah, well, it should be.
You just... malnutrition.
You need some food in you.
I have malnutrition?
Yeah... no, look, I've got
Anthony's hummus here.
I'm gonna hook you up.
I don't need
hummus, Dave. I mean...
Yeah, hummus really doesn't
solve that many problems, Dave.
You underestimate
the value of a good meal.
The power of hummus?
Dave, I don't need hummus.
It's attraction, Dave.
What's goin' on, guys?
Hey! What's up, man?
You scared
the shit out of me.
Sorry about that.
You guys going
to be up for a little bit?
Yeah, we're all drinking.
Can I come on in?
Yeah, come on in.
Oh, come on, you can't get in
this door because it's broken.
If you want, you can
come in the window over here
or otherwise, we...
No, I'll meet you...
You want me
to meet you out in front?
All right,
I'll see you there in a jiff.
That was crazy.
I know.
Are you expecting Susan?
No, and she really...
Just really scared me.
Me too.
Maybe she heard
there was...
It's a really
exciting thing, and people...
It's the best night
of the summer.
It's exotic, and people
hear about it and come by.
I gotta go to the bathroom.
I'll be right back.
What about that Peruvian guy,
the soccer player?
Mr. Don Juan wasn't
exactly the right fit,
if you know what I mean.
I don't know
if I know what you mean.
Hey, Marnie,
what's going on?
Hey, Susan.
How are you?
Not a whole heck
of a lot.
I'm on my way to the bathroom.
All right, don't let me get...
Let me get in your way.
So, what you guys
been doing tonight?
You know, a little of this,
a little of that,
a little drink,
a little of not.
Does he need to be
like consoled, I mean...
It seems like he's been pretty
upset for a pretty long time.
I don't think he needs to be
consoled or anything like that.
I mean, this is what I think.
Ok, I think we need
to find him a new girl.
Forget about Nina, we need
to set him up with a new girl.
That's a great idea!
I know exactly who
you could set him up with.
Who? Do I know her?
Smart, and you know her...
He knows her...
Even better. Yeah?
Ah, oh, I mean...
I'm just speaking in...
Uh, I'm not gonna say...
Hey, Marnie.
Hey. What... I don't...
What's goin' on, guys?
I don't... I don't know.
I have no idea what...
I don't know what
I'm saying anything exactly.
I think
I know what's going on.
Alex told me this story
about a year ago,
and it seems like...
Well, ok, I mean, maybe,
but I mean,
like there's nothing...
Like, that's no...
There's no story.
Look, Marnie, if you want
to talk, I'm here, ok?
Thanks, but I mean, really,
there's nothing to talk about.
You sure?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, seriously.
I am not afraid of getting hurt.
That's bullshit.
I mean, if you weren't afraid,
you'd be doing
something about this situation.
Well, look. I did, you know?
I've already done that.
You did?
I got hurt, and...
I mean, I didn't like it,
that's true...
Well, I mean I guess
I understand about being hurt.
Like I know you don't want
to be vulnerable again,
but you're never gonna get
anywhere if you don't.
You know, you got to put
yourself out on the line.
Tell him how you feel.
He knows how I feel.
Ok, Alex might...
You may think
Alex knows how you feel,
but, I mean,
you've kinda gotta...
You've gotta be repetitive.
You've gotta keep telling him.
You gotta...
You gotta show him.
It's all about action.
I mean...
He tells me how he feels
about you all the time.
When I bring up your name,
or he brings up your name,
he's like, "Marnie's so funny.
Marnie's so cool.
"You know, I love
hanging out with her,
"she's a great gal."
I mean, come on.
I think you should ask him out.
I wouldn't be saying this,
you know, just to say it.
Oh, I know. I mean,
that's like... go straight.
If I put it in
gear first, right?
I mean, I'm glad...
You know, I'm glad it's...
I'm glad
he likes me so much...
But I just...
I mean,
if he does, why...
I mean, I just feel like
if he... if he feels that way,
then he'll do something
about it, and if I...
He's not like that.
You know that.
I mean, he doesn't...
He's a tad bit
socially inept, you know?
Here, it's...
It's the next right up here.
Take care.
Thanks a lot
for the ride, Susan.
No problem.
Ok, bye.
Morning, inteletec.
Ok, um...
Uh, one moment.
Hi, I'm from
ashby staffing.
Oh, sure.
You're... Margaret.
Marnie. Ok.
My name is Mitchell,
I'm also from ashby.
So, uh, yeah,
so I guess all there is...
You can
just go through this...
Good morning, inteletec.
Uh, one moment, please.
Um... sorry.
No, it's ok.
If... if...
Go through the doors
and go around to the right
and see a desk
with a nameplate on it
that says Kimberly kafferky.
If you just go sit in there,
Kimberly's not even in yet,
but you'll be working
with her or with me.
Ok, so you just want me
to go sit in Kimberly...
Kafferky's. And can I
help you with anything, or...?
Uh, no, no, no.
I think...
I think just...
Just sit in there
and... and you could
sit out here with me, but...
Good morning,
Ok. All right, I'm sorry.
Let me... let me try again.
Hey. Hi. Sorry.
So, I'm Mitchell.
Right, got it.
And so like I said,
I think Kimberly's gonna
come in in a minute.
Basically she's gonna give you
a big stack of clients' names
and you pretty much
just will fire up the computer
and you just
enter that into excel.
Do you know excel
pretty well?
Uh, hmm,
I'm familiar with it.
I mean, is it like a...
It's nothing complicated.
It's really...
It's pretty self-explanatory.
I'm sure I can handle it.
I'm sure you'll be fine.
So is this... how...
How long have you been temping?
Oh, it's my first day.
Ok, well,
welcome to full time...
What do you...
What do you do like in your...
When you're...
What's your deal?
What's my deal?
Uh, I don't know.
You know, I'm sorry, that's
such a terrible question.
No, no, it's fine.
I'm just, um...
No, no, no, no, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'll see you later.
Well, wait, I didn't mean
to be unfriendly. I'm sorry.
I feel like I'm...
No, not at all.
No, you're totally...
You totally
did everything correctly.
You have
nothing to worry about.
Ok, well, all right.
I will see you later.
Ok, bye.
Hi, this is Marnie.
I can't take
your call right now,
but leave me a message
and I'll call you back. Thanks.
Um, hi, Marnie, this is Alex.
I'm just calling to say hi.
Um, just give me a call back,
whenever you get in.
Hello? Hello?
Hello? Marnie.
Hey, what's going on?
How are you?
Uh, hold on a second. Hold on.
Hi. Hi. Sorry about that.
Just like some racket.
What's goin' on?
Nothing much.
How are you?
Oh, I'm just kinda
hangin' out today, and stuff.
Listen, I was talking
to my sister, earlier,
and y'all were hanging out
the other day, right?
Last night?
It was what?!
What? Hello?
Oh, sorry, never mind.
So, and she was... I don't know,
she was just saying like...
She was saying some crazy stuff,
and I don't know,
and I was just wondering
what you all were
talking about yesterday.
Ah... I don't know.
I mean, we talked about a lot
of stuff, I guess. I mean...
I don't know, I mean, she just
said some... I don't know.
It sounded like she was
giving you some crazy regard,
some crazy advice
regarding me, and I was just...
I don't know, it's just...
I mean,
you know what I'm saying?
It just... it just is
a bad time for me right now,
and like... and I just
don't want her to...
And she... what? Go ahead.
I guess, I mean, we've talked
about this before, I guess.
I mean, I sort of...
You know, I sort of...
She made it sound like
she was trying to encourage you
to make
a move on me, I guess,
because she said that
you liked me still
and that I...
And that I was single and all.
It this is
all true and stuff,
and I... you know,
I obviously think a lot of you,
but I just didn't want...
I'm just...
It just seemed like
a asshole move.
I mean, she...
You know, she brought it up.
I just... um...
Yeah. No. No, I know.
I mean, I... I didn't...
I definitely wasn't
planning on, you know, like...
I don't know,
doing anything or, uh...
I just... I just...
You know, I know that
this is a crazy time
for you and stuff.
I just... you know, she...
I didn't... she just
brought it up and so I...
I don't know. Um...
Well, uh...
Well, anyway,
and also, I just...
I shouldn't be talking
about this right now anyhow.
It's a stupid mistake
to be calling you about it.
Because it's just...
I don't know,
it's just dumb conversation
to have over the phone.
Um, but... but we should,
I don't know,
we should talk about it more,
just not right now.
It's just kinda... that's
kind of a bad idea, I think.
So, can I just
call you later, or something?
Ok... ok. Ok. Ok, bye.
Fuck. Fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck.
Well, it was just stupid.
It was just kind
of a bad idea to call, so...
Well, what happened?
Nothing, we were just both
kinda like... rrrr.
It was... it was just
so stupid to call.
I don't know what I was thinking.
You were totally right.
You didn't... I mean,
you weren't mean to her
by any means, were you? Or...
No, no.
No, no, of course not.
It didn't get like that. It was just...
there was no emotion.
It was like a pointless phone call.
No one likes those.
Speaking of phone calls,
hold on just a second.
Oh, hey, Marnie,
what's going on?
Well, um, I just got off
the phone with your brother,
and, uh, I don't know,
I guess we just had
this like really
weird conversation.
It was just, um... I don't know,
I guess, it just like...
It was kind of
out of the blue,
like he just
called me up and, um...
I don't know, I just... eh...
It went like really quickly,
and I just kinda
made a fool of myself.
I don't know, I guess
he was just like bringing up...
I guess you talked to him,
and, like, he was
talking about all this stuff
that we discussed last night.
Um, I don't know,
it just... I...
It just went badly, I guess.
I don't know, what did like...
I'm just wondering,
what did you tell him?
Yeah, I mean I told him that,
you know, I thought that maybe
you guys going out
would be a good possibility.
I mean, he's single now,
and, I mean,
he talks about you a lot.
And, I mean,
I just didn't think like
what we said was
in confidence, you know?
No, I don't know,
I mean, I just, um...
No, I mean, it wasn't
like a big secret, I guess.
It was just...
I wasn't really expecting him to...
Was he mean to you, or...?
Just didn't work out?
Do you feel like a master? You
know what? You don't have to...
Hi, what's up?
How are you?
I'm gonna run home for the other rum.
Go... for it.
Pour yourself a clean glass.
I'm sorry, I forgot your...
I'm Marnie.
You are Wyatt?
Wyatt, right.
How's it been going?
Oh, just...
Drinkin' wine...
Something about the wine?
...losin' my mind.
What'd you say?
Nothing. It's... no.
Losing your mind?
What about you?
Yeah. Well, that's
not all I do, but yeah.
Oh! I didn't mean
it in a bad way.
No, no, I know, I know.
I like engineering.
So, I have been doing
some engineering, actually.
Ok, well...
I hope you don't think
I'm a jerk for saying...
Talking about engineering.
But uh... I will pour you
a drink to make up for it.
How about that?
I don't think you're
a jerk, but I actually...
You have a drink.
Okay, well, drink up.
A little toast to...
How are you guys doing?
Fine. We're
toasting to engineering.
Oh, of course.
I mean, how could you not?
So, you guys know each other?
You met?
We met at that dinner,
the engineering dinner.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How are you?
I'm good, I'm good.
I'm just,
you know, socializing...
Partying. You know.
That's good.
I don't know. I'm just like,
sitting around when I was a kid
thinking about nuns.
Oh, yeah, just like me.
Yeah, real common
childhood fascination.
It's good stuff, yeah.
I guess. I mean, what
about them? Like you said...
I don't know.
No, I would
also wonder stuff like,
ok, so, say you're like
a fallen woman, you know?
Is it too late for you
to become a nun?
What do you mean,
"fallen woman"? Like...
You know...
I think of, like,
1940's when you say that.
Well, that could be.
I mean, I'm talking about
like a...
Someone who's not totally
chaste their whole life.
Oh, yeah, I see
what you're saying.
Then is it...
Is it too late?
Or, you know, can you be
redeemed and become a nun?
Why, is this like a...
I wonder still.
Are you thinking
of joining a convent?
I don't know,
I've given it a thought.
But, I mean, it more...
Probably not tonight.
I don't know,
maybe like when you...
You know, you could go in
tomorrow to the convent
and sign a piece of paper
and get your habit
and it washes your sins away.
They'll just absolve you
of everything you ever did.
I don't know.
Great, so I don't
have to worry about it.
Um... um... I'm sorry.
I don't... I don't know.
Yeah, actually,
it's ok. Um...
I'm... I'm sorry.
No. Uh, no.
Me too.
Yo, dudes!
Hey, Wyatt, man.
Right on, right on.
It's been good seein' ya.
Good seeing you too.
Bye, you guys.
The hippinest man
in a small town, you know?
The hippinest.
You have all things to tell
the citizenry about this hat.
You look fantastic.
Hey, Dave.
Marnie, Marnie, Marnie.
Dave, I gotta go, ok?
I'm on my way out.
No. Come on, you gotta sit
on my lap one time before
you leave.
One round of lap-sitting.
I don't know, Dave...
Please. Please.
Vacant lap. Vacant.
You gotta do it for me.
There we go. There we go.
You know you wanted to.
There we go.
Hey, this is a good thing...
You know, you can represent me
to... to Jeff here.
Could you endorse me?
Can you tell him...
Why should I...
I endorse you?
Are you having
a pleasant experience?
Am I the first one
to sit in your lap?
No, of course not.
Uh, uh, ya know, Rachel
was here earlier this evening.
All right, well,
you know, it's legit.
And I... I've basically
just been working on
Jeff the whole night,
after that, after Rachel.
Jeff, now with
Marnie's endorsement here,
you gotta give it a shot, man.
This is... you know, this is
the chance of a lifetime
to test, uh,
social theory in action.
I endorse it.
All right, all right.
She's having a good time here.
All right, all right.
Keep her.
Right there?
All right, settle in.
Here we go.
Eh... mmm.
Come on.
There, now isn't that nice?
It's better than you thought, isn't it?
Somewhat better.
But bony.
You must admit, you're a little bit
turned on, right?
Aw, Marnie,
come on, don't ruin this!
You talkin' to me or him?
You ruined this.
No, no, I don't think so.
Hey, sweetie.
Hey, baby, how ya doin'?
Good. What are you doin'?
Caressing the guests.
You know,
a little forced intimacy here.
Yeah, what's new?
Yeah, yeah, you know,
it's my same old party trick.
Uh, you know...
I think Jeff's having
a pretty good time, though.
Yeah? Really? Are you?
It's not sexual.
It's not sexual, and he's
comfortable. It's all confirmed.
Well, you guys, you all
look very happy, so I gotta go.
And so... goodbye.
Oh, Marnie, come on.
No, it's time for me to go.
Listen, at least...
Come on, let's...
Come on,
I got in your lap.
Whoa, buddy, I'm sorry.
At least let...
Come on, are you gonna
be ok driving home?
Yeah, no,
I'm fine, I'm fine.
At least let me give you
a walk to your car, ok?
All right, I'll...
Come take a walk.
I'll be fine.
Is everything cool
with you and Alex and all that?
No. I mean, status quo,
you know, I guess, but...
I'll be all right.
All right, well, if you ever
need someone to talk to,
you know, give me a call.
Ok. Thanks, Dave.
Good night.
All right.
Hey. You need
a ride somewhere?
No, I just wanted to make
sure that you're gonna be ok.
Yeah. I mean,
this is a weird time,
you know?
But uh...
I'm ok.
And I mean,
come on. I don't...
This is boring, you know,
I don't wanna talk about me.
It's not fair to you,
and it's... I mean...
I don't know.
How are you doing?
I don't know.
I mean, I'm ok. I'm ok.
I like you a lot.
I like you too, Dave.
I feel bad, though.
No, don't feel bad.
I don't care,
I don't care. It's ok.
No, come on.
Don't feel bad.
But you know,
your girlfriend's right up,
right up there.
There she is. You know?
All right, look.
I guess I should go.
Are you gonna,
I mean... are things cool?
Look, I'm sorry.
I mean, I just, look.
Ok, ok, ok.
Look, are you sure
Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah. It's fine.
All right.
Good night.
Good night.
It's fine.
You sure?
Yeah, yeah, go ahead.
I'm fine.
So, how was your weekend?
Oh, it was all right.
How was yours?
Uh, it's fine,
I think. I don't know.
I'm saying
I don't really remember.
Well, maybe it was
really great, then.
That's a definite possibility.
It might... perhaps it's all
just lost in the giant
drug haze or...
Hi guys.
Marnie, uh,
today's your last day, huh?
Oh yeah, yeah.
Well, we're gonna miss you.
Mitchell, would you stay here
and do some data entry,
and Marnie, I think
they could use you on
phones for a couple of hours.
Sure. See ya.
Good morning, inteletec.
May I tell him who's calling?
Ok, one moment.
Hi. Phil, I have Jeffrey
livermore on line two for you?
I cannot believe you completely
usurped my phone position
that I had worked so hard
to achieve.
I don't think it's
anything personal, I mean...
No, I'm sure it's not. I'm sure
you're much more
pleasant-sounding than I am.
Pleasant-sounding maybe.
Right. Well, so, what's...
Is this true,
that you're leaving us?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I hate temping.
I hate it.
Fucking tell me
about it. I understand.
Well, what are you gonna do?
I don't know. I think
I'm just gonna try to get a job
waiting tables,
or something.
That's cool. That sounds,
it's a great idea.
Yeah. I'll be all right.
Well that's a bummer, you know?
I'll miss you.
Oh, well...
Anyway, I'm gonna go back in
before Kimberly catches me,
uh, dragging ass, or whatever.
Ok, well, have fun.
I'll try.
Hey, Marnie?
Um, I don't know,
it's such a weird, like,
oppressive environment
in there, and... I, uh,
I always feel
weird in my, in my like,
my work clothes, whatever.
But um, I don't know.
I just, I think, uh,
I've enjoyed knowing you,
and you seem real cool
and everything, um...
Oh, thanks.
Oh. Well...
So, I guess, uh,
I don't know if it
makes sense for us to, uh,
if you wanted
to like, hang out
sometime, or like,
go out sometime?
Oh, um,
I think it would be...
Yeah, I mean...
I don't know if I can
really go out with you.
No, no, no.
That's understood.
I mean...
You know, I meant
to ask that, but it was also...
But no, I'd love
to hang out, I mean...
Exactly. I would love
to hang out as well.
So, why don't I get
your number?
Yeah. Absolutely.
You could, uh,
you know, we could
get together sometime
or hang out or something.
I did not mean
to sound like a jerk, there.
You didn't at all,
I'm sure.
you have a boyfriend, and...
Yeah. Of course. Uh,
but um...
But, yeah. Please...
I'll give you a call.
And I think, you know, we could
go out and have some good times.
So, uh. Cool.
Keep it real at inteletec
and stuff, and I will
hang out with you soon.
All right.
Ok. Bye.
Monday, 4.28 pm.
Hey, Marnie. This is Alex.
I was just calling...
Monday, 4.28 pm.
Hey, Marnie. This is Alex.
I was just calling because
I don't know if you're still
looking for a job or anything,
but my uncle
is a religion professor
and he's got some things
that he needs help with.
So, um...
And he... I'm not sure if
he's gonna see people tomorrow,
or interview people
or something, so,
give me a call. Maybe I can
hook you up with that.
In any event,
you should also give me a call,
'cause we should have coffee
or something some time soon.
So, uh, yeah. I'm at
the office right now...
Hi. I brought us beers.
Cold ones.
Thank you.
Actually, I gave up drinking
a couple of days ago, kind of.
But since you...
Why would you do that?
I don't know. It wasn't
going that well for me.
What? You weren't
getting it down?
Bit this looks nice.
I'll just have this one.
No, I can get you a soda
or something if you'd rather.
I can have just one.
No, no. It's no big deal.
It's no big deal. Here.
You want something else?
Well, no... no.
I'll put it right here.
You can have it for later
or whatever. It's no big deal.
Hold on. Let me get that.
I left my keys up there,
can you let me in, dude?
Ok. Hold on a second.
I'll be right down.
Hey, uh...
Jed has locked himself
out again,
so I gotta go let him down...
Or in, or something.
So, but after that,
do you wanna get something
to eat, or get out of here?
Ok. So, I'll be right back.
He failed to beat that level
of "Sonic the hedgehog",
so, now he's, like,
on this army base in Alabama.
Are you ready to go?
How's it going?
What, uh...
Want a gummi bear?
Uh, sure. Yes.
Thank you.
Uh, what...
You look amazing.
Thanks. I was outside,
and you know the kids
who sit on the stoop?
The call him
a rough rider,
so, tonight I was
practicing wiffle ball,
and they kinda surrounded me,
and they were yelling
and screaming,
and this one kid,
like, their leader,
is named "the cheeks."
He was just cursing
and cursing.
Really making fun of me.
And so, finally,
he's like, down here,
and I'm like...
I grab him. I'm like:
"Listen, kid.
You got quite a mouth on you."
And I said something like:
"Little guys
shouldn't mess with big guys."
Big mistake.
There were, like, seven of them.
They knocked me down.
Beating the crap out of me,
like, throwing dirt on me.
Oh, no!
Yeah, and so, like,
at first it seemed really bad,
um... I mean,
I was, like... I don't know.
I think I chipped a tooth
or something...
And... but then...
Are you... what's...?
Oh, I don't know.
I mean, I was just...
Say it!
Are you ready to go?
I'll tell you more later.
But it actually ended up fine.
I gave "the cheeks" our phone
number. I hope you don't mind.
No, that's fine.
He's a cool guy, actually.
I think they're actually good.
I think I might have solved
the town/gown relations issues
or whatever
we were having with the...
Well, you know.
Like, us and the kids.
The kids are gonna like us now.
That's what's gonna happen.
That sounds good.
Let's get outta here.
All right.
I'm gonna go now.
Well, good luck, I mean... yeah.
I'll see you later.
Ok. Bye.
Yeah, you know,
you're at least the most, like,
"evolutionalistic" person
that I know.
What do you mean?
You are, too, though.
You're, like, yesterday,
cro-magnon man, today,
uh, you know.
Yeah, today in stasis.
Caveman lawyer.
You're not in stasis.
Oh. Thank you.
Oh, my god!
You're something.
Sorry about that.
Have you ever seen that before?
It's pretty good, huh?
It really is.
Really disgustifying.
Did you know there was
that much juice in one eye?
Well done.
I thought that was
the most disgusting thing
I've ever seen in a diner.
Wait till you check
this shit out.
Muh. Muh.
What is that?
Muh? Muh?
Muh? It's a cow! It's a cow.
Doing what? Peeing?
I don't see what...
It's not peeing!
Yes, it is.
No. Muh... muh.
Is it supposed to be, like,
lactating, or something?
Yes! Lactating.
Seems weird.
Come on.
I know you made it up.
No, my dad did.
Are you fucking with me?
You knew what that was.
Well, yeah.
Yes, you were.
Right. Sorry.
You are crazy.
Thanks. So are you.
You're, like,
the king of crazy over there.
Well, that's a big title
to live up to.
I don't know what to do now.
Yeah, well.
You definitely are...
Not doing it.
What do I do now?
I don't know. Make some
fart noises or something.
Oh, no...
Well, you don't have to,
but it's always funny.
The wetter, the better, I think.
That's the rule of thumb.
Yeah. There you go.
Oh, that's so gross.
You had some spit
coming off your tongue.
It reminded me of something
that happened to me.
I was just lactating.
I think that's Liz.
Can you hold on a second?
Yeah, that's totally her car.
Hold on. I just wanna catch her.
Hey, Liz?
Liz? Oh, shit.
Liz! Liz.
Liz? Liz, wake up.
Hey, Liz. Wake up.
Hi. It's Marnie.
It's me.
Hi, Marnie.
Are you ok?
I'm fine.
You were passed out
in your car here.
No, I wasn't.
Yes, you were. Look,
you were passed out here
with your head
on the steering wheel
when I just turned up.
That's not my steering wheel.
What are you talking about?
Look, there's a big, old dent
from where your forehead was.
This isn't my car.
Then you somehow managed
to steal a car
that looks just like yours
and pass out in it
with the car running?
Here, I'm gonna turn it off.
You're almost out of gas.
How long have you been here?
Not long.
Who's that?
Hi. I'm Alex.
It's my friend Alex.
Nice to meet you.
Where are my car keys?
I don't know,
I can't find them.
But where have you been tonight?
What are you doing?
Are you...
Have you been with anybody?
No, I left the party on my own.
What party?
Um... down the road.
Brad and those guys?
I don't know.
I want my keys.
Well, how about them?
I can't give you your keys.
No, I can't do that.
I'm really sorry,
but you cannot drive.
Fuck you, Marnie.
Oh, come on.
Fuck you.
How about...
I mean, Alex and I...
You could ride with me, and Alex
could drive your car behind us
or something like that. No?
Well, just crash with me.
I live right here.
You won't even have to walk
anywhere. It's right here.
Come on. You'll be fine,
I'll just carry you
over the doorstep.
I guess I was
tired of driving anyway.
Yeah, there you go.
That's more like it.
Come on, miss America.
You can do it. All right.
I guess I'll be pretty busy.
Yeah, I can tell.
But I'm glad we met up.
Yeah, you know...
Glad we had a chance
to hang out.
Yeah, me too.
Yeah, I'm gonna go.
Ok. Well,
give me a call.
It was nice to meet you, Liz.
Have a good time at work tomorrow.
All right.
Are you ready
for the stairs?
Here you go.
Save that for later.
I could not believe it
when I walked up to your car,
and you were just
sitting in there.
I wasn't sure
what to do at first,
'cause I thought
maybe you were in there
making out with someone,
or something.
No one to make out with.
Well, I didn't know.
Was that your boyfriend?
No. No.
Are you gonna be ok here,
you think?
All right. Well, I'm gonna
go out for just a little while,
but I'll be back, and then
I'll see you in the morning.
And the bathroom's
right across the hall
in case you feel sick
or something.
And if you can't make it
to the bathroom
for whatever reason,
I'll leave this waste basket
right here for you.
So get some rest.
I'll see you later.
Thank you.
You're welcome. Anybody else?
Oh, for beer, man?
I'm always good for beer.
Marnie? Wake up.
Sorry. Do you want
some toast?
Oh, no, thank you.
Thanks for last night.
Oh, no problem.
I'm really sorry if I was
belligerent or anything.
No, no, no. You were fine.
You were totally fine.
You were fine.
Have you seen my car keys?
Um, I think they're in my pants.
It'd be in my pants over there.
The brown ones?
What time is it?
It's, like, in the front...
Got 'em.
Oh, shit! Oh, shit.
Are you late?
I made some coffee.
There's coffee
in the kitchen.
Come in.
Professor garver?
Hi, I'm Marnie cadieux.
I am so sorry I'm late. I was
supposed to meet you at ten.
Quite all right.
Quite all right. Come on in.
Do sit down.
Very sorry. I got
held up earlier. I apologize.
Quite all right. You're here
about the research position?
Yes. I'm a friend
of your nephew, Alex.
I have about half an hour,
I have gotta warn you.
I'll have to meet my wife...
I could come back...
No. Plenty of time to talk.
All right. Thanks.
Yes, Alex has spoken
very highly of you.
Really? That's so nice.
He's told me good things
about you, too.
That's always nice to hear.
Well, I've got my resume...
Thank you.
You've got very broad interests.
I guess I'm a little scattered.
I wouldn't say that.
This is marvelous.
This is terrific. Mm-hm.
Now, ah...
You went to school with Alex.
Right. That's right.
That's where we met.
That means you must know
a colleague of mine
named Edward hobbs, right?
Oh, yeah. He was
one of my thesis readers.
Very funny man.
He's hilarious.
We've done
a lot of work together.
Oh, great.
Good fellow.
Listen, is there anything
you'd like to ask me?
Actually, Alex didn't tell me
very much at all, so...
What would I be doing?
Ok, well...
it's a research position.
Library work, mostly.
Better yet, I oughtta
introduce you to Jackie.
She's the person you'll be
working with most closely.
All right.
Would you like to
go to the library, then?
Ok. Sure.
Why don't we do that?
We can do that now.
Is there anything else
you wanted to know from me?
Well, let's see. I think
the most important thing is
the research qualifications
that you have...
Know, of course, this is not
the most glamorous job.
That's fine.
But if you're still
interested in it,
I think
we can work something out.
Can I help?
Yeah, is Alex around?
He's on vacation right now.
Really? Did he go out of town?
Yeah, I think so.
Were you supposed to meet him?
No, he just helped me
get this job,
so I wanted to stop by
and say thanks.
Friend of Alex'?
You hear the big news?
Uh... what big news?
I don't know.
What are you talking about?
Um... why don't you
have a look at these?
What... I don't get it.
You see that guy there
with the yarmulke?
He's the rabbi.
And this is a wedding.
What we can't figure out is
why is it a Jewish wedding?
I think her mother is Jewish.
So I guess this is
probably a Jewish ceremony.
Does it look Jewish?
When did they get married?
Well, we got the pictures
today, and we're guessing...
Up in Maine some place.
This is crazy.
Well, it's crazy,
but, you know...
Holy shit.
Yeah, it's crazy, all right.
They're married!
They're married?
They seem to be.
I don't think it's that crazy.
She's not easily impressed.
No, I think,
considering who Alex is,
it's not that weird.
Fair enough.
Hello? Hello?
Ok, sir.
Thanks very much.
You're welcome.
Thank you.
What was I saying?
Well, uh...
How's that beer?
It's lovely.
It's delightful.
How many is that
for you, Mitchell?
I don't know.
Are you ok to drive?
Yeah, I'll be fine.
I'll be good.
I actually didn't drive.
I took the bus.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah. Do you want anything
to drink, by the way?
Oh, no. I'm fine. I'm fine.
Do you want non-alcoholic as
well? It doesn't have to be...
Oh, no.
I am the opposite of parched.
What, saturated?
Well, ok.
Well, I can give you
a ride home.
Oh, seriously? Ok.
That might be really cool,
That would be really great.
But it's not necessary.
Public transport works for me.
Ok. Well, either way.
But enough about me.
Tell me about the new job.
Oh, it's great.
It's really...
I've only been doing it
for a few days,
but it's really interesting,
so I'm excited.
What kind of stuff is it?
I'm doing library research
for this religion professor.
How is the... this is crass,
but how is the money in that?
Oh, I mean, it's not that good,
but it's better than temping.
Are you still temping?
Of course,
but not for long.
I'm almost...
I'm gonna get out of that.
Yeah, actually, it came
at a really good time for me,
'cause I had about negative
two dollars in my bank account.
Well, that's something...
That'll buy you negative
two cups of coffee.
But then I'd be so tired.
It's terrible. I mean,
it's great. It's hilarious.
It took me a second to get it.
That's a great joke.
I am very impressed
that you can just off of the top
of your head come up with a...
This, perhaps,
is a foolish thing to say,
but I was just thinking that
that your boyfriend, whoever
he is, is a very fortunate man.
Well, that's nice.
Are you just, I mean,
assuming I have a boyfriend
or just being nice?
No, I'm not assuming anything.
What do you mean?
Are you saying
you don't have a boyfriend?
You don't have a boyfriend?
You told me
you had a boyfriend.
I didn't!
Yes, you did.
We were in the parking lot...
And I don't know if, uh...
If I brought it up, I don't
remember. But it came up...
I don't remember that.
No, I was being
a little too forward,
I think you were
trying to let me down easy.
No, that's not... I didn't mean
to lie to you. That's terrible.
I don't know
what I was thinking.
No, you wouldn't.
Doesn't matter.
I'm sorry?
No, don't apologize.
Don't apologize at all.
Well, what else
can we talk about?
Well, if you don't have
a boyfriend...
What if I were to say to you,
hypothetically, Marnie:
This is what it is,
this is a little dinner between
the two of us as friends.
But if I said to you
some time, you know,
if I were to ask you on a date,
like a different occasion...
Mitchell, um...
Well, I'm just saying,
what would you say?
I don't know. It's hard.
I don't know what I would say.
It's hard to know, um...
Well, if it's not hypothetical.
Ok, ok, look. No, no, no.
I mean, you're...
I'm not...
I think... I mean,
I'm having a great time tonight
and I hope we can do this again.
But I... not because of you,
but for reasons
pertaining to me
I think it's not
a good idea for me to...
...see you romantically.
No, no, no. That's fine.
I'm sorry.
No, don't apologize.
I think you handled that
very well.
I apologize for putting you
in an awkward position again.
No, no...
I promise
it's the last time I ask.
What else could we talk about?
Let me ask you this:
This is a related topic.
How is it possible that
you don't have a boyfriend?
I don't know, Mitchell.
It's just life, I guess.
I don't know.
I don't know.
No, it's ok.
Let's... throw me a topic.
We can talk about anything.
Ok, ok. What's your favorite
TV show?
I don't know. I don't
really watch very much TV.
You sure
you wanna talk about TV?
No, I don't care.
Ok. Why don't you
have a girlfriend?
Well, that's just life.
I mean,
you're very nice...
No, no, no.
Thank you. I mean,
that's very sweet of you to say.
But, um...
It's... Marnie, come on.
Seriously. It's not...
Well, it's not the same thing.
Why? Yes, it is.
Because you're beautiful, and
because you're, like, incredible
and because, I mean...
I don't wanna be...
I mean...
I think probably 90 percent
of the guys that you know
are totally... sorry, head
over heels in love with you...
And perhaps you don't notice.
You don't know. You don't know
any of the people that I know
besides you. And, I mean,
I know for a fact.
Well, that...
I don't know 90 percent
of the guys that you know,
but I think
I'm right about this.
But I'm not gonna
argue with you about it.
I think, uh...
"The twilight zone"
I think was a great show.
"The three stooges"
is a show I like a lot.
Yeah, that's good stuff.
What's your favorite
"twilight zone" episode?
I don't know.
They're all very good.
Hey, Marnie.
I'm leaving now.
You can go home
if you want.
Ok. Thanks, Jackie.
See you later.
There's Marnie.
Hey, Marnie.
What's up?
Not much.
How are you doing?
Just shopping...
Hey, Marnie.
How are you doing?
Ok. You guys
are all having dinner?
Yeah, we're gonna
cook a big dinner.
Each of us is gonna
do a specialty.
That sounds fun.
You wanna come?
Oh. Well... it's really nice
of you to ask.
I think, I'm pretty tired
'cause I worked all day, so...
We'll do all the cooking.
You just have to eat.
It's tempting.
But I'm pretty...
I think maybe I'd better
just go home and unwind.
I don't mean to be rude.
No, it's cool.
We understand.
It's nice
to see you guys.
it's good to see you.
Good to see you, too.
I don't...
I don't know if I'm supposed
to... are you guys married?
Yeah, pretty much.
we didn't have a...
Big time.
We didn't have
a wedding or anything.
It was kind of a
spur of the moment thing.
Kind of under the radar.
That's crazy.
I mean, congratulations.
That's our rings.
So, Nina's gonna teach me
how to make eggplant tonight.
That's my specialty.
Well, that's good.
Always a good one.
She's gonna teach me how to do
the whole leaching thing
and get the berries out.
Yeah. I don't know.
You know that I'm, like,
eggplant retarded.
Well, that's good.
I don't even know
how to pick the things out.
Well, it's not hard
to pick 'em out.
Will you show me
how to pick 'em out?
All right.
Good to see you.
See you later. Bye.
So, what you got?
Oh, I have got...
I don't know...
Well... I'm not so sure about
this. It's pretty expensive.
Hot pepper
raspberry preserve.
That's good.
I heard it's all right.
With the tampons.
Yeah, just...
Two items only.
Yeah, those are a great two.
Oh, I've just started.
But, yeah, maybe
I should stop right there.
Well... well...
Speaking of...
I'm gonna go with my wife
and look at some eggplants.
Ok. Well, have fun.
All right. Yeah. Oh...
We should have dinner some time.
Ok. Sure. Sure.
Just, like, whenever.
Ok. Well, I guess
I should just give you a call.
Was that weird?
A little.
Yeah? Well, you know,
just slip off into the night
now that no one's around.
Oh. Yeah.
I didn't think you were serious
about playing when you...
Of course
I'm serious, man.
Well, I can tell you're serious,
because you're
in halfway athletic gear.
You got the sweat pants and
the... you're ready to play.
What? Don't you think
you can play in your jeans?
No, I'll be cool.
No, come on.
We can just shoot around.
Don't worry about it.
Do you know how to
play this game for real?
Do you know what you're doing?
No, no, I suck.
I played in junior high, and
I never even scored one basket.
So I'm just trying to
work my way back up
to the skill level of then.
'Cause I'm really terrible.
Then we'll be evenly matched.
Well, it might be embarrassing.
You might laugh at me.
All right. Can I take a few
free throws?
The thing is that I never
learned to shoot properly.
You can go to basketball camp or
whatever and they'll teach you.
You gotta... something to do
with follow through, or...
Doesn't help.
Well, I never learned it.
Do you know how to play chess?
Does chess seem like
it's more my speed?
No, no. I was thinking about
playing some chess, and...
I can tell you...
I can tell you how the
pieces move. That's no problem.
I can't really teach you chess
because my skill level
is approximately the same
as it is in basketball.
Which is to say it's...
Terrible. Truly terrible.
Great. Are you ready to play?
Like a game? Like a real game?
A little game?
Hang on to this.
Small, you know...
Let's do it.
Who's taking it out?
That'll be you.
All right. Marnie,
take it easy on me.
You're too fucking tall.
It's not fair.
I can't... ok, thank you.
That's much better.
I believe, Marnie,
that that is checkmate.
Oh, shit.
No, no, no. I could...
I could just go
like that, right?
No, you can't,
because my knight will...
Oh, shit. I totally
blanked out on
how that knight can
just jump over everything.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's the major...
That's the coolest thing
about the knight.
He's no joke.
Well, fuck.
Yeah, well, but...
But that was a really
good game, considering...
Oh, yeah.
No, it was fun.
You know... no,
but you played really well
if you hadn't played
since whenever.
Third grade.
Yeah, it was outstanding.
I think if we played like,
you know,
five more games,
within five I promise
that you'd be trouncing me.
All right,
let's do it.
Right now, or...?
maybe not right now.
I don't think I can handle
five more games
right now.
I have to go
to the bathroom.
I'll be right back.
Hey, Marnie,
can I grab a beer or something?
Yeah, sure.
Actually, I think there's
a whole six-pack in there
and you're welcome
to have all of it.
just one I think...
Oh, yeah, I know, but
you can take it home,
is what I'm saying.
Ok. It's not...
If you...
No, I'd actually appreciate it
if you took it off my hands.
If you insist.
Ok, I'll be right back.
Hey, Marnie?
Do you wanna go and take these
and drink these
out on the porch outside?
Wait. Can you wait
till I get out of the bathroom?
Yeah. Sure. Sorry.
I'm gonna go out on the porch.
I'm gonna be...
I'll talk to you in a minute.
Well, now you just look...
You look kinda depressed.
No, I'm just tired.
I know. Of course.
But you look, like,
a little bit tired,
or even mostly tired,
and just a smidgen
depressed as well.
I don't know.
Well, that's lame. I just think
that we had a nice day.
I think we had
a good time out there.
I think now is not
the time for depression.
I agree.
We had a great time.
What are you getting at?
Well, what more
do you want from life?
I don't want anything.
What... are you
fucking with me?
Yeah, a little bit.
A little bit, I guess I am.
I don't know.
It seems like...
An appropriate time
to fuck with you. I don't know.
All I mean is that
I think we had a nice day,
we had a productive day, we
did all these things, you know,
like I said, and...
You could just... if you were
here in this moment now, then...
You could...
You could smile about it
or something.
Well, look.
Ok, I'll smile about it.
I'm delighted.
We had a nice day. It was...
I don't know.
What more do you want?
I don't know.
A smile, or some energy,
or some... you know.
A little...
I don't know.
I don't know. Something.
Dancing? What?
Dancing is good.
I like dancing.
I'm just...
Well, you have to be doing it
because you wanna do it.
I don't want you to
imitate my dancing.
Oh, Mitchell. I cannot
play this game with you.
It's your game. You started
this game by being depressed.
Well, I'm sorry.
I'm not even depressed, a.
And b, even if I was,
I mean, that's my right.
I'm just... you know.
Yeah, yeah.
I can't be zany fun
every minute.
I'm sorry.
I do... I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to push you
or mess with you too much.
I'm sorry.
Jesus, Mitchell!
What the fuck?
Now, wait, come on...
Wait. Don't get mad.
Uh... I'm sorry.
That was stupid, Mitchell.
It was like...
You know, it wasn't funny and
people could have gotten hurt.
Well, it wasn't that dangerous.
No one got hurt.
But I take your point,
and I am sorry.
Why did you do that?
I don't know.
I don't know. I am sorry.
I'll go clean it up.
I'll go clean it up.
Ok, fine.
But why did you do it?
I just... I don't know.
Has no one informed you that
we're all gonna die some day?
Oh, Jesus.
Are you mad at me?
I'm really sorry.
You're crazy.
You're crazy!
Marnie, I can't...
I can't talk to you
prone on the bed.
So I'm gonna go.
I just didn't wanna leave
on a sour note.
That's ok.
I will forgive you.
I already have forgiven you.
I forgive you.
Thank you. Good.
I'm sorry that I ragged on you
about being mopey.
It's ok.
Don't worry about it.
I had a fun day.
Me too.
Good. Great.
So, uh, so give me a call
some time, and we'll...
I will. You wanna
play ball again some time?
I'd love to.
Or are you interested
at all in tennis?
Can't play, but...
That's perfect.
I... actually,
a roommate of mine,
he's moving out, and he
left his rackets behind.
So if you wanted to
get together
we have rackets.
That'd be great.
We could learn
That'd be great.
Ok, cool. So, I'm gonna...
I'm gonna head off.
Next time we see each other,
it won't be weird at all...
No, no, please.
Don't worry about it.
It'll be fine.
It was my pleasure, Marnie.
I'll see you later.
Bye, Mitchell.
Hey, Jackie.
Hi, Marnie.
How are you?
Good. Nice earrings.
Thank you. I feel weird.
I'm not used to wearing them.
Are you going out
No. They're a birthday
present from my mom,
so I thought
I'd wear them.
Happy birthday.
When was your birthday?
It's today, actually.
Oh, really?
How old are you?
So are you
celebrating tonight?
I don't have any plans.
I'm a big girl now, you know.
It's my birthday...
So you're not
doing anything at all?
No, not really.
No plans.
Why don't I take you out,
buy you a beer after work?
Oh, that's so nice.
That would be great.
Do you think we could
go for coffee instead?
Oh, my god.
It's really your birthday?
Yeah, yeah. Actually.
What's your sign?
I wouldn't know anyway.
Here you go.
Thanks a lot.
On me.
Oh, thank you.
Mine, too?
Thank you.
This is so decadent.
Oh, yeah? That guy?
He used to work
down at the river city.
You know the coffee shop
down the street?
Me and my friends
used to go there all the time.
Before we knew his name,
we just called him
"the cute coffee guy."
"Cute coffee guy", huh?
He's cute,
don't you think?
Yeah, yeah.
I can see it.
He has a really nice smile.
Yeah, he does.
He definitely does.
He's always flirting
with all the girls.
You should go for it.
Oh, my god, no.
I'm married.
I know, but come on.
It's the "cute coffee guy."
I can't even bring Dan in here.
He gets so jealous.
Oh, that's serious.
How long
have you been married?
Two years.
That's great.
Work can get boring.
Yeah. I'm thinking about
entering the NBA draft soon.
Are you checking him out?
No, I'm not checking him out.
You were!
Just observing him
in action there.
Hey, I can set you up.
Oh, no, no, no,
no, no...
Yeah. No, no, no.
Hey, Marnie?
Marnie? Hey.
Hey, what's going on?
Did I wake you up?
Well, I was coming by
to wish you happy birthday,
but I didn't think
I would wake you up, so...
I'm sorry about that.
No, it's ok.
Well... what's going on?
What... are you drunk?
No, I'm not drunk.
What are you talking about?
Are you sure?
Yeah, man. Lay off.
What are you, deaf?
I used to beat up
deaf kids.
You're lucky you're up there.
No, seriously,
I'm totally fine.
You're just acting
so deranged and...
Well, so! I mean, I never turn
you away when you're deranged.
Look, it's...
Do you wanna come up or what?
Um... I don't have to.
I don't have to.
It's up to you.
I'll come down for a second, ok?
Out front?
Yeah. I'll see you down there.
Ok, I'll be out there
in a couple of seconds.
what's on your mind?
I don't know.
You came here to see me.
Well, yeah. I just came to
wish you happy birthday, and...
Say hi.
Well, Alex. Uh...
I don't know.
I'd love to sit here
and talk to you, but...
But I probably
should go back to bed, if...
Don't do that.
I mean...
I mean...
I mean... I don't know.
It's just complicated.
I'm sure it is.
I mean... anything like that
is complicated, I imagine.
I know.
I didn't mean to get in a...
Into a conversation about it here.
You don't wanna
have a conversation?
Well, I mean...
I mean,
if it were ok for me
to come here
to your house late at night,
and to tell you how great
I thought you were and...
And how much
I appreciate you, and...
You know,
like all that stuff.
That's what I
would be doing, I guess.
That's the conversation
I would like to have with you.
Well, I mean...
Uh, but...
I mean, instead...
Yeah, instead
I should probably be going.
I need to get out
of here, so...
Wait, Alex. Don't go.
You can't chase me.
You're not wearing shoes.
I'm not gonna chase you.
Well, no. I'm sorry.
I know, I should go.
Really, I should go.
I'll talk to you later.
But, well...
Yeah, I know. It's just...
It's hard. I just kinda...
Well, if can just
give you one piece of advice:
Don't tease her.
For god's sake.
I know.
It's so hard not to
when she gets so upset about
the thing you wanted to say.
Tease your dad.
Tease him all you like,
but leave your mom
out of it, probably.
Well, I did it.
That's the problem.
Come in.
Hey. What's going on?
How are you?
I'm good. I just... I don't
know. Have you eaten lunch?
No. No, not yet.
I just thought
I'd come by to your work
since you came by mine,
and see uncle Louis.
Fair enough.
We were talking about you.
Well, I was just
talking about you guys
to myself
as I walked down the hall.
We weren't really,
but we are just, you know...
Just kidding, really. Sorry.
Jackie asked me
to print these for you.
Terrific. Thanks very much.
That's wonderful. Great.
Uh... did you have
anywhere in mind for lunch?
No, I don't know what's good.
I just came by.
Wanna sit there?
I don't think that's gonna work.
Oh, wow. Yeah.
I think some fat person
already sat there.
No good.
Let's sit on the ground.
Every time I come here,
I see these same guys
playing frisbee.
Same two dorks?
Yeah. Well, I'm sure
they're nice guys, but...
Yeah, that's some nice dorks.
Yeah, they're clearly dorks.
Sorry, I was talking to her.
He was just talking to me.
Ignore him.
I didn't think
he'd turn around, you know.
'Course he'd turn around.
You yelled out "dorks."
Yeah, but you don't wanna be like,
"yeah, that's me."
If someone calls out
"dickweed" at a party,
you don't turn around,
'cause you gotta play it cool.
It's self-identification.
You're right.
You're right.
Yeah. Sorry about that.
They forgot to play it cool.
Kinda uncool of me.
I know.
They deserved it.
How are you doing down there?
Pretty good. Pretty good.
This is the nicest park
on the face of the earth.
I'm trying to spend
more time outdoors.
Me, too, man.
Just 'cause you're, like,
in an office all day,
you just kinda...
Spastic Mozart over there.
Yeah, well, that's right.
I'm definitely a child genius.
Being in an office all the time.
Um... yeah.
Well, listen. I'm sorry.
I know I can be
really exasperating.
What do you mean?
I mean, you know.
People tell me that
I'm a hard person
to deal with sometimes.
You know...
You don't have to...
Whatever. I mean, here we are.
It's a beautiful day,
beautiful sandwiches.
Let's just enjoy our unexpected
view of these fucking dorks.
They definitely did not hear you.
But maybe it's that dickweed
factor you mentioned earlier.
Hey, man.
Hey, if you could move anywhere,
if you were moving out of here,
and you were in another country,
or anywhere, I guess,
where would you move?
I don't know. I guess
probably a better question is,
what if you were 13 feet tall?
Would you rather be that,
or have eyes on the stalks
of your head?
You know what I mean.
I mean, you've left me
with no other option than
eyes on the stalks
of your head.
Yeah, well.
Is that the right answer?
That's what everyone else
chooses. Pretty much, yeah.
I can see it.
I can see it.
It's a smart move.
Well, you know, I really think
the world of you, Marnie.
No dice.