Gagman (1989) Movie Script

Man, it's hot.
I wish we didn't have summers.
Why not make it simple
and just have spring, fall,
and winter?
By the way
do you like dogmeat?
I wouldn't make it through the heat
without dogmeat.
You never get fat
from eating dogmeat.
But I don't serve the stuff
they're serving nowadays.
They take any dog off the street
and pump it with water.
The meat's tough,
and there's nothing to chew on.
When it comes to dogmeat,
the good old Korean mutts are it.
Anyway, I read on the tabloids last week
that some comedian paid six figures in taxes.
I guess TV stars do make a lot of money.
I heard he had it tough when he was young.
Some people must be born with all the luck.
You had talent in that area
when you were young, right?
I can see how you got into
your line of work.
I started watching movies
from the time I was conceived.
My mother was crazy about movies.
Maybe it's why I've always wanted to be a star.
I watched so many movies back then.
Remember that Viking movie
with Kirk Douglas in it?
That was one impressive movie.
You remember the scene
with the feast, don't you?
Where Kirk Douglas is chewing
on a chicken?
Boy, he could sure
tear into a chicken.
What a chump... he won't know
a flower if he sat on it.
I bet the guy on the right
with glasses barely got hired.
I'm sure he didn't come here
with his own money.
He probably got money behind
the back for a shady loan.
Spending his day counting...
all he can think about
is getting laid.
Girl #17 might be all
smiles right now,
but all she cares about
right now is getting a fat tip.
That rich lady is here again.
I see she has a young escort
for the night.
She'll dance jitterbug
to Beethoven,
because that's
all she knows.
When did this great world of
ours come to value
wads of cash over true
feeling and romance?
Just when did it turn into
this barren,
lifeless, and emotionless wasteland?
What can a genius like myself
can do for times like these?
Your forever lover boy who gets
bigger with your, love, love, love.
Your lark on a sunny day,
I'm your funnyman Lee Jong-sae.
I really hope I can
see you back tomorrow,
and that wraps
it up for me today.
It's me.
What's up?
Of course, I'm fine.
She's getting way too fat.
She gained two pounds last month.
She's so finicky.
She won't eat anything but
whole milk or cheese.
I need to put her on a diet.
Wait, where did she go?
Hold on.
Michelle? Michelle? Michelle?
Sorry about that.
My husband?
He's coming back today.
Yeah, he was in the US
for a business trip.
I'm not lonely.
I can use his money to
go shopping with friends,
see movies, and just enjoy my life.
You switched to golf too?
Good. I changed too,
because aerobics is
so hard and boring.
You can hit bogey already?
Wow, you're almost
a pro now.
Hold on.
My husband must be here.
All right.
Let's play a game together
sometime next week.
OK. See you.
Is that you, honey?
It's me, ma'am.
I'm afraid I have
bad news for you.
Your husband was in an accident
on this way from the airport.
He just went into surgery
and the prognosis isn't out yet.
What's going on?
Are you nuts?
No, it's just that...
the man next to you
looks so funny.
Who are you?
You're the director, right?
It's really nice to see you.
You must have about
a dozen cuts to go.
I guess so...
What is your movie
about this time?
Don't you think the subject matter
is too old?
Anyway, I think we should start
shooting next month.
If we want to portray that melancholy
and tedious atmosphere,
we should begin shooting
before the summer is over.
As for the actors, I want to
take a chance with new faces.
Big stars are much to clichd.
Do I know you?
Oh, no. You forgot about me.
But you'll remember
if you think of the lark.
I'm your funnyman,
Lee Jong-sae.
I'm the one who sent you
the script you saw the other day.
I see...
There's no shoot
tomorrow, right?
Since I have to sleep
in during morning
is 3 PM all right with you?
We should meet
and set up a schedule.
Your TV interview is ready,
Mr. Director.
All right.
I think women have reached
a crisis point in the modern age.
My film examines the sexual
lives in married couples
for whom sex has become a leverage
with their newfound wealth.
That's good...
And we know that
Ms. Yu is known for her acting in bed.
Have you actually
done it for real?
Well, it's...
I'm sorry.
I'll do it again.
Hold on.
Let us change the tape first.
It's "The One" Cafe across
from Changgyeong Palace,
right in front of the Newlywed Wedding Chapel.
I'll be waiting for you
there are 3 o'clock.
Sorry for interrupting.
Mr. Cho!
What did I tell you
about security around here?
See that nerd
with the mustache?
Why the hell did you
let him into the set?
Since he was standing
right next to you, I thought
- he might be your friend.
- Oh, my God.
What makes you think
I would know a bum like that?
I've heard you'll be playing a very
hysterical character on this film.
Let's do one more person.
May I ask you name?
Your forever lover boy who gets
bigger with your, love, love, love.
Your lark on a sunny day,
I'm your funnyman Lee Jong-sae.
So I take it you'll be playing
a comedian in the movie?
I'm not an actor.
I'm a rookie director.
Oh, OK.
I'll be doing my first ever movie
with Mr. Jung's film company.
All right...
It will be a movie the whole
country will see in no time.
I see.
I'm going to be too busy
for interviews once it's released,
so you'd better ask me
everything while you can.
Look here.
That guy is
a trespasser on my set!
- All right?
- Get out of here!
Get over here.
What are you looking at?
Get back to work!
- Who are you, jerk?
- Excuse me?
Your forever lover boy who gets
bigger with your, love, love, love.
I'm your funnyman,
Lee Jong-sae.
Go on.
Get out, before
I get really mad.
It's 3 PM tomorrow,
at "The One" Cafe.
Makes sure the director
doesn't forget.
Ladies and gentlemen.
Those of you who have graced
this evening with your presence
are undoubtedly great lover
of movies who understand
movies as a true romantic art form.
I would like to share
my excitement with all of you.
I would like to thank all of my staff,
who worked so hard to make it.
The honor of this receiving this prize
tonight is not limited to myself,
but it represents a great victory
for the great cinematic art
that shed a ray of hope
on thus dark, gloomy world.
Ow, hot. Hot!
Do you have something
by Lee Hyun-sae?
No. Just ones by Heo Young-man.
Mr. Director!
What on earth
are you doing here?
Looking for ideas
for my movie.
I saw the movie version of
this cartoon on the Late Cinema.
But the comic strip version
was much, much better.
Are you done reading that one?
Read it fast so
I can look at it, OK?
Comic strips nowadays are such
a bad influence on the children.
They have nothing but boring
sports heroes and stupid robots.
Mr. Director, remember comics
like "The Glass Castle"
or "Core" adapted by Kim Jong-rae,
or classics like "Wanting to
be there" and how good they were?
As for science fiction,
title like "Raipai"
"Iron man 28"
and the "Magic Wand"
just blow you away
with creativity and imagination.
- Yes.
- Right.
Then there's the "Boy Doctor"
and "Egghead Genius,"
Koh Woo-young is my
brother-in-law, by the way,
- I know.
- And as for "Taeng-yi"...
and the "Headache Boy," they really
bring out their characters.
Do-seok, my friend.
You said you wanted
to be an actor, right?
Well, when I was a kid, but...
Who'd want an amateur like me?
If anyone had an eye for comics,
they would understand.
- Do-seok!
- Yes, sir.
I have finally met someone
who shares my sensitivities.
Well, you know... I...
You have the potential of
a great character actor.
I have just completed writing
a script I had been working on,
and I am on the verge of
starting the shoot.
But I was worried,
because I did not have a star,
but I think I just found one.
You're officially on standby
until my next call.
Thank you.
I'll do my best.
Thanks a million. I really am.
- How many did you read?
- Five.
You shouldn't do that, Mr. Lee.
I saw you read two more.
Man, they should really
smooch somewhere else.
Hey man, let's get out of here.
She must have run off
someplace else.
They should be thankful
that I danced for them.
No way am I dating them
for a few shots of scotch.
Thanks, mister.
Can I buy you a cup of...
Now that I can see you,
you look so funny.
I think I saw you somewhere.
Are you a star?
Maybe I saw you on TV.
We're you ever on TV?
No. I'm a... director.
Are you really
a movie director?
Which movie did you make?
Not yet.
I'm a new director.
Well, do I look like
actress material to you?
Hey, mister.
Can I stay at your place?
You're a liar and hypocrite.
You're probably a loach pretending to be nice.
I know you're going to take me
home and make me drink.
And when I pass out
from the alcohol,
you'll take me to bed
and take my clothes off.
I never forced you
to come to my place.
I think it was you who wanted to...
It's late.
You should go home.
How was it?
Was my acting OK?
I actually wanted to
be a singer,
but I'm changing it to
an actress starting now.
Well, it's really late...
it's two thirty already.
Well, you're really late today.
Where was apartment 902?
Right next to where you live.
So if you go around
that way and come back
that's where I live.
The first time a laid
my eyes on you
I... I...
Oh! Words are but truly empty!
How can I show you how I feel
with such few words?
Mister, can I use
your toothbrush?
I'm but your toothbrush...
a brush that will cleanse
your body forever and ever.
Oh, I shall deluge myself
in drinks tonight,
for without the power of the drink,
I cannot bare to look at you
for a moment.
I am not a mere boy
but why am I feeling this way?
My heart feels as if
it will stop beating...
Here you go.
Is this you?
Does it look bad on me?
Not at all.
It's beautiful, in fact.
You watered it down too much.
I like my scotch strong and straight.
When I first looked upon you
I was utterly enthralled...
Why is it so hot this summer?
Where are you planning to
so for summer this year?
I was completely taken by...
Have you ever been to Hwajinpo?
I went there last year.
The beach is nice,
but there's no place to sleep.
Or have you went to Haeundae?
I never went there myself.
But I'm going this summer,
no matter what.
I heard there are
a lot of dance clubs,
and rich but stupid guys.
I wish I had $100000.
So many people win
lotteries but me.
I shall deluge myself
with drinks tonight.
Go ahead.
I'm not going to stop you.
Where do I get to sleep?
Oh, sleep...
Here's a pillow...
I get cranky when some wakes me
up too early,
so don't wake me up
even if you do.
Thank you for braving
the blazing heat of summer,
forsaking your family on
what was to be family night,
to enjoy the hospitality of
the Mammoth Club tonight.
We will now get our world-famous
variety show on the way,
full of laughter and music,
with beautiful women dancing to it.
The first on our stage tonight,
a very special singer.
Please welcome Rambo!
Hands up. Stick 'em up!
I said hands up!
I'm... I'm warning you.
If you so much as move or scream,
I'll shoot you dead right here.
This is my direct order.
And soldiers do not like
to repeat orders.
Turn on the lights.
Get the lights!
Get the lights!
Do you... have any cigarettes?
I'm terribly sorry.
I never really learned to smoke.
What the heck is it that you do?
Your forever lover boy who gets
bigger with your, love, love, love.
Your lark on a sunny day,
I'm your funnyman Lee Jong-sae.
Anyway, what are you doing here?
The club is closed today,
and I was rehearsing by myself.
Where's the bathroom, mister?
Police and army troops are
currently on the trail
of a deserter from an unknown
unit on the run near
a road junction
in the Cheonho-dong area.
The name and unit of that soldier
will be identified in our regular
broadcast as soon as more
information becomes available.
That's the end of
a breaking report.
Ungrateful runts like that should be
taken downtown for a public shooting.
I mean, we pay the taxed that pays
for their food, uniforms,
and training.
Who could ask for anything more,
free of charge?
Young runts nowadays
are basically bastards
who never speak up
properly to their elders,
and even wenches don't think
twice about smoking.
They start kissing the moment
they get inside my car.
I mean, what is
the world coming to?
Don't you think so, too?
Please, please don't shoot me.
Please, I didn't see anything.
I have a wife and four kids.
I swear I'll never tell on you.
Just don't kill me, please.
That's everything
I made for today.
Please, just let me live.
Don't move,
or I'll shoot!
We meet again,
Shanghai Park.
I have spent the last twenty years
in a cold prison cell,
chewing on cold, rotten
barley through hot and cold,
waiting for this day, honing
my blade of revenge for you.
I can understand why you
took away the woman I love.
Perhaps I can even forgive you
for selling my sister
into a brothel, maybe.
But the treacherous betrayal against
our friendship, I could not forgive.
Pull out your blade, Park.
Who's there?
Oh, it's you, Mr. Director.
You said you were going to call,
and I waited for so long.
Do I look like...
Jack Nicholson at all?
When it comes to character,
no one can top Nicholson.
Close the curtains.
I sold my shop, Mr. Director.
Someone came with an offer yesterday,
so I sold it at a bargain.
And I got my eyelids
operated on.
I have small eyes,
so I'm trying to make them bigger.
Well, I may be jumping
the gun on this,
but since I am
a rookie actor and all,
I probably won't be
needing guarantee payments.
Anyway, this club called
"The Million Dollars just opened.
If you have time,
I'd like to treat you there.
Do you know how to
handle a gun?
I'm sorry.
I don't know pistols.
I was a national guardsmen.
Wow, this looks just like
the real thing.
You're using it for
the movie, right?
I was trained to use one of
these in reserve training.
But if you still want me
to do a pistol,
then I am willing to learn.
What do you call this?
Sir, it's the butt, sir!
- This part!
- Sir, targeting sight, sir!
- This part!
- Sir, it's the grip, sir!
- This part!
- Sir, it's the trigger, sir!
- This part!
- Sir, it's the magazine, sir!
- This part!
- Sir. It's the barrel, sir!
Mr. Director... it's going to
be an action film, right?
Whoa... now that is a relief.
I was worried about
it being a melodrama.
I'm a lot better doing
action than melodrama.
- Load rounds!
- Yes, sir!
Sir, I've been practicing,
and I'd like you to look at it.
- Ready!
- Yes, sir.
Sound! Lights!
Camera! Stand by!
Ready! Go!
Shanghai Park... wait!
We meet again,
Shanghai Park.
I have spent the last twenty years
in a cold prison cell,
chewing on cold, rotten barley
through hot and cold,
waiting for this day, honing
my blade of revenge for you.
I can understand why you took
away the woman I loved.
Perhaps I can even forgive you
for selling my sister
into a brothel, maybe.
But treacherous betrayal against
our friendship, I could not forgive.
Now, Shanghai Park.
I dare you to pull out your gun.
Look here. I know when a wife
leaves her husband's house
there is nothing in the law
that can become an obstacle.
Anyway, now I release you
from your obligation.
You are not abound to
me anymore.
We are both free,
free from each other.
Why do you keep coming back?
I'm sorry, but it's your
last chance, Mr. Jung.
If you don't take me,
you'll regret it forever.
Stop laughing!
Mr. Cho?
Where the hell is he?
He went to the bathroom.
Sir, I am all ready now.
I have found some
fresh faces, even.
I think you'll like
then once you see them.
- Mr. Cho!
- Yes, sir!
Can't you even keep out
bums from the set?
What the... you're here again?
Come over here.
What should I do...
You're really asking for it, pal.
Oh, my God...
Why, you...
We meet again, Shanghai Park.
I have spent the last twenty years
in a cold prison cell,
chewing on cold, rotten barley
through hot and cold,
waiting for this day, honing
my blade of revenge for you.
I can understand why you
took away the woman I love.
Perhaps I can even forgive you
for selling my sister
into a brothel, maybe.
But the treacherous betrayal against
our friendship, I could not forgive.
Shanghai Park...
pull out your gun.
What brings you here?
I'm in a bad mood,
so don't talk to me.
Stupid bum... he doesn't have a car
but wants to go on a vacation?
Who the hell wants to take the
slow train all the way to Busan?
Gees, it's hot!
You're a star and you don't
have an air conditioner?
It's hot already, so stop it!
Will you stop being so horny?
Isn't the shower working?
Apartment office called and
said no running water until five.
Can you grab my bag for me?
Hey, mister?
Just who the heck are you?
A movie director.
Hey, that's a prop.
Don't lie to me.
Don't shoot, please.
There are bullets in there.
It's a real gun.
How did you get your hands
on a real gun?
I... got it as a gift.
I bet you're
a wanted criminal.
What are you wanted for?
Robbery and murder? Rape?
I'll shoot you
if you don't tell me!
I'm not a movie director.
I'm Lee Jong-sae, standup comic.
I might as well take a nap.
Wake me up when the water
starts running.
Don't you have comics
for grownups?
Isn't there anything
exciting going on?
A war would be
a lot better than this.
You said that was
a real gun there, right?
Then let's make
a movie with it, mister.
All we need is me as the star,
and about $100000.
We can't let $100000
make your creative
genius go to waste.
Should we rob a bank,
like in a western?
You have a good face.
Want to be in a movie?
There is one guard
and twelve workers here.
Right, miss?
The emergency bell is
on the floor by your feet.
Right, miss?
How fast do the cops
get here after the bell?
Hold on a minute.
Man, they really have nice air conditioning here.
You have a good face.
Want to be in a movie?
May I help you, sir?
Nice to meet you.
How fast do the cops
get here after the bell?
Doesn't take about
three minutes for them?
How many cops usually respond?
Who the hell are you?
My name is moon, an actor.
You'll have to speak aloud.
My name is moon, an actor.
What brings you here?
My director told me I should
check on things we'll need to
make the movie with
That's why I'm asking around.
What kind of movie is it?
It's an action movie.
What's the title?
Wait, I'll have to check
with my director.
Thank you.
Well, Mr. Lee...
I've found out everything
I could found out.
There's one guard,
and twelve office workers.
It will take about three minutes
for the police to respond.
But I didn't check how much
money there was in there.
What's the name of our movie?
Is this a gangster movie?
Go easy in the chair.
You're breaking
everything in here.
It's so hot.
Uh... Mr. Lee.
You like dogmeat, right?
- Do you want a bowl?
- Yes, sir.
A bowl of dogmeat soup here.
This is snack shop.
There's no dogmeat here.
Does this mean
I'm playing a bank robber...
Did I drop that?
Am I playing a bank robber
in the movie?
You like steamed buns, right?
I used to eat fifty
when I was young,
but I'm down to 30 nowadays.
Now, please don't get upset
because of what I'm about to say.
But don't robbers
in other movies look
much better with
a pistol than a rifle?
What's with all the flies
in this shop?
It's summer. Of course there
are flies here and there.
- How much?
- Two dollars.
You came all the way
down here?
The title is still
a secret, you know.
Get out, fatso.
Can you tell me what makes
him so stupid?
Hey, we are not
kidding around here.
Even if you're the star,
you shouldn't talk like that to me.
You... do you know how old I am?
If you're old, then act
your age, you dumbass!
All you do is eat like pig,
with nothing in your brain!
Oh, my... am I supposed to
put up with this, sir?
And what if you don't?
I am.
How could you drag
the cops along after you?
Because I didn't know
the title.
Oh, my God.
I can't work with
this tub of lard.
The fat man is going to
get us in trouble some day.
Either we call the whole
thing off, or drop the fatso.
I only did what the director
told me to do.
You told me to find out
some things for the shoot.
This isn't a move anymore.
It's real, all right?
It is.
You mean, we're robbing
a bank for real?
Please, stop pulling
my legs, Mr. Lee?
Now, do I look like
I'm pulling your leg?
We live in an age
without masterpieces.
Movies like Gone
with the Wind,
Ben Hur, the Sorrows in Heaven,
have all disappeared,
gone in the wind.
We are on the doorsteps
of the 21st Century.
But just who is making
meaningful movies?
Is there anyone giving
meaning to human history?
I, Lee Jong-sae,
spend many hours in
anguish and suffering,
to create a masterpiece that
is like ray of hope
in this dark and unforgiving
wasteland of a world.
And when I met a beautiful
lily of an actress, Sun-young,
and you, Do-seok, who oozed
powerful personality,
the two great future actors,
I was overjoyed.
I thought I would finally be able
to create that masterpiece
that would be seen by everyone
in this country.
But those blind agents of
materialism and money out there
refused to recognize genius
when they saw it.
Do you want such genius
to fade away like this?
No... no, sir.
Must a genius like me
despair over mere $100000?
I'm sorry for arguing, sir.
Good afternoon.
Is there something wrong
with your car?
You're trembling.
No... no, I'm not.
It's just...
a little hot in here.
You must get
a hold of yourself.
Don't worry.
I can't be tough
when I need to be.
I'm falling asleep here.
Hurry up and get it over with.
Are you ready?
Yes, sir.
Sir, can we do it a bit later?
I have to take a dump.
Hold it for ten minutes, OK?
Hands up.
This is a robbery!
Stick 'em up!
Stick 'em up!
We really are robbing a bank.
Don't try anything funny.
Because we know where the alarm is.
Uh... the safe is over here, sir.
Oh... the... the safe.
Open the safe.
Open it up!
But we don't have the key.
The supervisor left
with the keys on him.
You're lying.
It's true.
He went to see someone at
the cafe across the street.
Want me to go and get him?
No, sir!
You should not fall for that.
Hold on a minute.
Make a move and you're dead!
Hey, stick 'em up!
Where are you from?
Se... Seoul.
Are you the South Gate
or the East Gate Gang?
Ever heard of
"The Twin Blade?"
I'm the Twin Blade
of West Gate.
True gangsters in the old days
used knives and axes.
They didn't go around
with peashooters.
And pretending to be
the Mafia, like you!
I'll kill you!
Stop screaming, fathead!
The cops will hear you
from a mile away.
What are you doing?
Let's go!
Anyone who moves will get shot!
Hello everyone, and welcome.
Your forever lover boy who gets
bigger with your, love, love, love.
Your lark on a sunny day,
I'm your funnyman Lee Jong-sae.
Thank you for braving
the blazing heat of summer,
forsaking your family on
what was to be family night,
to enjoy the hospitality of
the Mammoth Club tonight.
We will now get our world-famous
variety show on the way,
full of laughter and music,
with beautiful women dancing to it.
But before we do that,
I'd like to buy you a drink.
Stop pretending, you say?
Get a free drink
one every table, waiter.
Why am I buying you drinks?
Have I gone crazy
from the heat?
Not a chance.
Is it because
it's my birthday.
It's not that, either.
Did I win the lottery?
Are prices of my land
in the country skyrocketing?
Sorry, wrong guess again.
Now, don't tell this
to anyone outside.
Remember the bank heist
in Munsan?
It was me who robbed
that bank.
But the real reason
I'm buying your drinks
is to thank you for
all your wonderful support,
that finally got me
my debut as a director.
And the leading stars
of my first masterpiece
have agreed to honor us
by appearing on our stage.
Let's give the two stars
a big round of applause!
Well, I can see why Brooke
Shields decided to retire.
Now, although we cannot
convince her to strip,
she can tell us her figure.
What's your figure?
It's 36-24-36.
How do you feel about your
first starring role, Mr. Moon?
I'm so happy.
I would like to thank
the great director Lee Jong-sae
without whom I would not
where I am at today.
And right you are!
Which song will you entertain
the audience with today?
Suzie Q.
Let's hear it for Suzie Q!
Stick 'em up, or I shoot!
Come one, stop crying...
all right?
Move over a little bit.
The leading lady gets
the most contract money.
Check it out.
Who is it?
It's a cop!
Tell him I'm not home.
I didn't do anything.
I want just doing
what I was told.
I didn't do anything.
I'm going home.
Shut up, fat face!
You'll be shot once
you got out and get caught.
Open up.
Open the door.
I'll shoot you
if you don't come out.
Open the front door.
It's make it or break it,
so don't sweat it.
It might be nothing,
so go check it out.
I'll shoot you
if you don't go out there.
As a director, you have to
be brave at time like this.
Don't worry.
We've got your back covered.
Don't do anything
to give yourself away.
I'm Officer Kim from
the Metropolitan Police.
Hello everyone,
and welcome.
You are braving
the blazing heat of summer,
in protection of lives
and property of us citizens.
My heartfelt gratitude to the police
chief and hardworking officers.
Thank you.
May I come inside and
take a look around.
- Do you live alone?
- Yes.
Wait... my mother just came to
visit me from the country.
Woops, guess it was
my sister-in-law.
Oh, OK.
- What's your line of work?
- What?
Your occupation.
Your forever lover boy who gets bigger
with your, love, love, love.
I'm your funnyman,
Moon Do-seok.
I bet you're rich,
since you're a TV star.
I'm sure you saw the news,
but there are bank robbers
on the loose.
Going around robbing banks
in daylight.
Oh, my God.
They robbed clothing stores
and even mom-and-pop shops,
at gunpoint, and taking every
bit of cash with them
day in and day out.
Come on. I'm sure they
didn't threaten kids.
So we're going around reminding
people about crime prevention.
Oh, OK...
Is this the main bedroom?
Well, that's just a picture.
Are you all right?
Don't worry, I'm fine.
Be sure to put valuable
where people cannot see them.
Nobody's stupid enough to
put it there.
- Are they here, then?
- You're welcome to look around.
- Are they here?
- Look again.
Where did you put it?
I don't really know, actually.
You put it here, right?
Where is it?
Don't worry about it.
I put someplace really safe.
Where is it?
Where's the money?
Take it off.
Maybe I should just
get married.
Get married and arrange flowers,
make dinners,
and make dinner and wash
his feet when he comes home.
Have just two kids.
Turn one into a movie star
and other into a singer.
Do you know where
I can find a good man?
I'm not asking for
a lot in a guy.
He just needs to be
a man with two cars,
a home with a pool,
and things like that.
Remember the first scene
from our future movie?
The main character tries
to commit suicide
but trips over a chair
and ends up failing.
That is what life is like.
We get ruined by mistakes
at the critical moment.
Anyone who watches it will be
rolling around in the aisles.
That scene alone will bring an extra
million people to the screens.
Do you know what my nickname
was when I was young?
It was boy genius.
I could read comic books
when I was three.
When others were playing
with marbles, I drew comic books.
My uncle saw that
and I should draw
theater signs when I grow up.
I guess people
drawing theaters signs made
lots of money back then.
But then one winter, I think
I was in ninth grade back then,
I was agonizing over this
painful question inside.
Why do we live?
And what should
we do in life?
Then it came to me that
I should be a movie director.
It's because this movie director
in a comic book
I once read looked
so cool and awesome.
But our time has come,
The dark winter of
our lives is gone,
and the spring is about to
come to our hearts.
On the same day the audiences
come to see our movie,
we will have our wedding
right at the premier.
I love you, Sun-young.
Have some if you're hungry.
It's good.
Notorious bank robber is
local funnyman Lee Jong-sae
Notorious bank robber is
local funnyman Lee Jong-sae
Man, I can see prices are
going through the roof.
Right here. We'll pretend that
our car had a breakdown.
Do-seok will be on the ground
with ketchup on,
pretend to be bleed.
Sun-young will be hysterical,
yelling and calling for help.
Got that?
We get up at eight
sharp tomorrow.
And no breakfast for
you tomorrow, fatso.
I don't want you looking for
a bathroom when you're dying.
- All right.
- Bottoms up!
To our billions!
The bank robbers who have
been on the rampage since
last month turned out to be
Lee Jong-sae, a local comedian.
The police took into
a custody a robber
who stole cash and camera
from Lee Jong-sae's house
while pretending to be cop,
and found that the items
were the same as ones that
were stolen by Lee's gang,
which is certain to expedite
the investigation.
We will now hear
from Lee's victims and
some of the people
who knew him well.
That guy?
He looked so hilarious.
A lot of people come to
just watch the shoot.
I thought he was one of them,
and sent him away.
Then he came back
a few days later.
He was carrying a big guitar
case and kept tapping on it.
And that was my mistake.
If I had known it was a gun,
I would've decked him on the spot.
He was so nice guy around here,
who would not hurt a soul.
I don't know why he would
do something like that?
He comes to my shop
almost every day.
And other than reading
more books than he pay for,
there was nothing really
criminal about him.
But he leaves us with a question
as to what kind of man
this ringleader,
Lee Jong-sae, really is.
Is he suffering from paranoid
delusion set off by a wave of
Cinderella complex sweeping
the younger generation?
Or a nice and gentle next
door neighbor gone mad?
To find out, we'll listen
to Lee's own words.
Your forever lover boy who gets
bigger with your, love, love, love.
Your lark on a sunny day,
I'm your funnyman
Lee Jong-sae.
It will be a movie the whole
country will see in no time.
I'm going to be too busy for
interviews once it's released,
so you'd better ask me
everything while you can.
Would you just listen
to that guy?
What do you think?
How could someone so ridiculous
pull off a robbery?
Shut up.
If you talk, you're dead.
Look natural.
Do I really look
that ridiculous?
I've never even missed
reserve training.
My district supervisor awarded me
for being a model citizen.
I didn't do anything wrong.
Is it so wrong wanting
to be an actor?
Just why do keep going to
the bathroom, fat face?
You already went ten times.
- Hey, Do-seok.
- Yeah?
Remember that comic shop owner?
He didn't have to say
I sneaked a peak, you know.
Well, don't just
sit there like.
We have to run like hell.
Run? Why should I?
I didn't do anything wrong.
I just did it
because he told me
he'd make me a star.
It's his fault
for making me do it.
I'm innocent,
so why should I run?
Were you not watching
the news, dumbass?
You are an accomplice!
All right.
If you want to stay,
get caught,
and got to jail or get shot,
that is fine by me.
How can you think of
going out like that?
Get rid of the mustache
while you still can.
We'll get caught the minute
we get out of the door like this.
I'll shave it off for you,
Mr. Lee.
Right now!
You can shave it off
my dead body.
Get down here, Do-seok.
Stand there.
Look lonely.
Come down.
Raise your chin.
Start laughing.
Like Jack Nicholson.
Laugh harder, mix up
crying sounds with it.
Laugh louder.
Yes. This is it.
Under the moonlight,
with the brook flowing by,
and the birds are still
as the night,
a man is under the moon
laughing his heartbreak away.
Then suddenly, a woman
appears from nowhere.
Hey, fatso.
Go do it at a funny farm.
Scene 28 with a be a very
romantic and lovely scene.
We're in luck.
We just arrived
at a perfect spot.
Will you stop
with that nonsense?
Our car just broke down.
We have to get
someone to fix it.
I can't see anything at night.
I have bad night vision.
Then you should go, fatso.
My night vision
isn't great, either.
We food around any longer
and the cops
will catch up with us.
That noodle looks so tasty.
No eggs. You really know
your instant noodles.
Putting in eggs or green onion
can only ruin the taste of noodles.
Is there something you want?
Oh, yeah.
My car stopped down the road.
Instant noodles are best
without seasoning.
I think I've seen
your face somewhere.
I'm a movie star.
Right. You were on
TV Bestseller Drama once.
It's really an honor
to meet you like this.
But what brings you all the way
out to a place like this?
Are you making a movie?
We were shooting nearby when...
when our car broke down
over the bridge.
Then there must
be a lot stars there.
Who's the actress?
Oh, she's new face.
I'm sure you've heard
the news right?
You know, with those bank
robbers running around,
I try not to go out
to fix cars at night,
but I'll make it
an exception this time.
since a real live movie stars
came and asked.
By the way,
can you give me an autograph
as a souvenir?
Anyway, which movies
did you make?
I'm still a rookie director.
If I'm not wrong,
there should be a lighting staff
and camera crews at movie shoots.
Where did they go?
Oh, they went to grab a bite.
Do you think someone
like me can be a star?
It might look like glitter,
but showbiz is
a very tough business.
So don't quit your day job
and stick to what you're doing now.
Yes, sir.
You know that barber guy
from that bank robber gang?
Who? Moon?
I thought they didn't know yet.
They found out just now.
Looks like he was
a small-time barber
who really wanted the bigtime.
He goes around pretending
he's a movie star.
Isn't it ridiculous?
Yeah, I guess he is.
Turn on the ignition now.
Well, that should do it.
- Good work.
- No, no. That's OK.
It's an honor just to meet you
like this. Take care now.
Oh, Mr. Director.
Can you give me an autograph?
Lee Jong-sae
Thank you.
- Help, robbers!
- Stop!
It's the bank robbers!
Stop right there!
He's dead.
The train will be here
in 30 minutes.
Well, I'll get
to Haeundae beach after all.
Hey, fat man!
Stop cracking your eggs
like that.
And look at all these shells.
I bet he ate over twenty.
Give me a cigarette.
Give me a cigarette.
He's totally out of it.
So why did you have to shoot,
you stupid lout?
Now you're going to be
in death row for sure.
What do we do
when we get to Busan?
We sneak out to Japan,
and go to Mexico
with fake passports.
Then we cross the border
to the US, go to Hollywood,
and the genius
Lee Jong-sae's dream
will finally come true.
That's it!
Hey, Do-seok.
We're finally going
to Hollywood.
You'll probably be there
in three day's time.
Boys be ambitious!
Men should have ambitious to fulfill.
We'll make a movie that
will surprise the world there.
Lee Jong-sae will be
a world-famous director.
And Oh Sun-young and Moon Do-seok
will be superstars.
Well, you can dream
all you want.
I'm laying low at Haeundae
before going back home.
Just tell the cops that Oh Sun-young
is dead, if you get caught.
Tell her I committed suicide
by drawing from all the guilt.
That goes for you too, fatso.
- Got that?
- Oh, OK...
Don't forget to look me up
when you become a star.
- Where are you going now?
- Bathroom.
Is this the police?
I have something to tell you.
It's the fire station?
Oh, I'm sorry.
Is this the police?
I have something to tell you.
Do I get shot
if I kill someone?
I didn't mean to,
but it just happened.
No... no. I'm not that guy.
Yeah... I'm just an accomplice.
Where am I?
A small train station.
It's on the way to Busan.
I can't turn myself
in right now.
I'll call you back
after three days.
Oh, boy.
It's so hot today.
A perfect day
for skinny-dipping.
Should we go for some
whale meat at the market,
or shouldn't we?
Do-seok, do you speak
any English?
You'll need to do everything in English
once we're in Hollywood.
From eating to going to
the bathroom.
Hello, give me some fried chicken.
Get me to a bathroom!
We're really going
to America, right?
We will be eating steak
in Beverly Hills in three days.
It's over.
The cops are here.
What? Cops?
What do we do now, Mr. Director?
First, we have to stay calm.
Uh, sir...? Maybe we should
give ourselves up.
Give me just 30 seconds
to think of something.
Stop mumbling and run!
Lee Jong-sae.
You are completely surrounded.
Drop your weapons
and surrender.
If you surrender, it will be
taken into account in court.
Again, you should surrender
of your own accord.
Then the law will take
that into account.
Give up now.
Your life will be
at risk if you resist.
It is not too late.
Lay down your weapons
and surrender.
I will repeat
that one more time.
Hey, Do-seok.
Slap me in the face.
Since it didn't hurt,
this has to be a dream.
I knew a genius like me
won't go this easily.
There is no way my master
piece born out of
labor of many a sleepless
nights can fade away
in a compartment of
a scrap passenger train.
I knew genius's die early,
but I am not going to.
Do-seok, you go out
and make a breakthrough.
I'll lay down covering fire
for you in the back,
I'll meet you on Pier #2
at 22:00 hours. Good luck.
No. I'm surrendering.
Don't you want to be
a world-famous star?
I liked being a barber.
I'm surrendering.
Just figure out how to die
with some dignity, stupid.
You think they're
going to let you live?
A robber who shot someone dead?
No. They said they'd give me
a special pardon.
So, it was you who ratted us out.
Wasn't it, you fatso?
Don't call me fat!
It's all because of you,
you liar.
My life was good, and you lied
to me about being a star.
I had an operation
because of you.
My eyes still hurt,
and my shop is gone now.
I never missed a single
reserve training.
I got a district supervisor's award
as a model citizen.
I'm... I'm giving myself up.
Moon Do-seok.
I can forgive you
for surrendering.
I can even forgive you
for insulting me.
But I can never forgive betrayal
of the oath you swore to me.
You and I will settle
this with a duel.
We will take ten steps
after we start walking.
Then we turn around and shoot.
We need to have a referee,
and Sun-young will be it.
I'll be counting to ten.
All right.
OK. Go.
One... two... three... four... five...
Six... seven... eight... nine...
You're nuts!
You're crazy.
You're all crazy.
I wish this was a dream...
all a dream.
Maybe everything we see...
is but a dream of a moment.
Or are we seeing a dream
within a dream.
These damned flies.
Just read some overseas topics,
some guy in France
threatened to crash
into the control tower
with his Cessna.
He was asked why,
and he said it was personal.
Well, the world is
a weird place, you know.