Garbage People: The Movie (2025) Movie Script

1
(mysterious music)
- Hello my name is AI,
your helpful assistant
for a tech-forward future
(Enchanting fairytale score)
- Ah fuck
- Oh my god, oh my god,
oh my god, oh my god!
(digital glitching)
(typing)
(surf rock music)
- I can't believe we crashed
a wedding on private property,
Jaywalked, got into a
bar fight and it's only noon!
- Now that's what I call a joy ride!
- Ooh. Next we could loiter
where it says 'no loitering',
and bully people online, and do graffiti!
- You know what they say,
buddy. The sky is the limit!
Misdemeanor energy drinks:
the official energy
drink of Trash.
And remember, they're not felonies!
Hey uh, why don't they call
'em felony energy drinks?
I mean "Misdemeanor"
hits with, you know, kind
of a low effort vibe.
- Cut. Circle that. That's
gonna be a wrap on Misdemeanor
energy drinks.
Just uh, y'know, feeling out the room.
Not charging extra for the improv.
- We got another crew coming in.
- Thank you all so much for being here.
Hey, no autographs pal.
- Here are your checks.
(Glitches) Good-bye.
- Wow, that was fast.
Geez, what's gotten into
these Trash Studio employees?
Wish I would've known about that
lax cocaine policy around here.
I woulda done a whole lot more cocaine.
- Probably couldn't handle all those free
Misdemeanor energy drinks. Am I right?
- Ah shit, Peel! You know what this is?
It's our first Garbage People check!
Look at this, season one paid
in full! Fuckin' love it.
Where'd that crew guy go?
- Huh? That's cool. They
coulda just Cash-Apped me.
- Things are definitely
looking up my friend.
Things are definitely looking up.
- Hey, what if I bought my whole Amazon
cart without looking?
That would be crazy.
- Ha, okay Peel.
For me personally, as an entrepreneur,
I'm working smarter!
I'm gonna update my resume,
you know, get it out there.
- Okay, how is smarter? We're
already on Garbage People.
Why would you be looking
for more acting jobs?
- Art of the hustle, my friend.
Once season two pops off,
that's when the big bucks come rolling in!
- "The hustle"
Sounds exhausting.
- Being poor is exhausting.
Whoa! Watch it, ya moron.
(drone buzzes)
Geesh. What's up with all this
strange new trash hanging
around town lately?
(whimsical music)
Vote to keep Trash trashy.
- Hello, I am AI.
I'll mark you down as a yay.
- Hi there, I am AI.
Do you have a moment to talk
about the upcoming election?
- AI is short for artificial intelligence.
(Steed knickers)
- Boop beep boop Vote Graffiti Steed
and enjoy the continued
legalization of happy hay!
(bot glitches)
- Beep beep boop
Are you up to date on
this year's mayoral ballot?
I'm officially in the running
and my campaign promises
- How can I assist you?
Hey, hey, hey Radioactive Bob.
- I'm in a bit of a hurry there, young man.
Two of my best employees
just went full blown NPC,
the vibes are off.
(ahems)
You feel me?
- You're in the market for
a happy hay hookup.
- Son, anything you
are selling, I'm not buying
with all due respect.
- Fair enough.
Shall I elaborate how mayoral
hopeful Graffiti Steed,
Ha ha, yours truly,
plans to defend our liberties, stick it
to the man-made machine,
and eradicate the tyrannical
tech lords once and for all?
I've devised the plan to
export these corrupt outsiders.
If you catch my drift.
(chuckles)
See what I did there?
Export 'Cause they're bots. AI bots.
- My dear, maraca-brained boy.
See, I've never witnessed
an alien invasion myself
but I'll be god damned
if this isn't the closest thing to it.
Underground electromagnetic radio signals.
You gotta say little weird things every
now and then just to throw
'em off, confuse 'em a lil.
Alligator!
(bot shrieks)
A rapture is comin'
and you better have somethin'
better than a clipboard in
your hand when it comes.
(Steed gulps)
(ominous music)
- Terms and conditions?
Fine, whatever.
- Oh my god.
And done! Thanks to my boy ChatGPT,
my new acting resume is live
and ready for the green light.
Convenience at our fingertips!
- Have you ever heard of the dark web?
- What? The dark web?
Come on get your head
outta the rabbit hole, Peel.
We're legit now!
Long gone are the days of
sex slave casting couches
and murder for hire.
We're highly paid TV stars.
- Dude, this internet is totally different
than the one we're used to.
Literally the first thing on
this search engine is a site
where you can buy guns and
Floy George, whatever that is.
- Ugh it's heroin, Peel.
The Hulk Hogan of heroin?
A death sentence. And if
that doesn't kill you,
the cops will!
The last thing we need right now is
bein' put on a watch list.
Hope you're using a VPN
And thanks to our sponsors at VPN Now
You too, can enjoy the anarchic whimsy
of restrictionless internet browsing.
Just like me, Peel over there
and the whole gang here at Garbage People.
Download VPN Now. Totally free.
What the fuck? What
the hell just happened?
- Whoa. They can make
any 3D printed gun you want!
Um, yes?
Therapist:
"And what do we do when we're feeling
emotional dysregulation, Peel?"
Add to cart.
(cash register sounds)
I love the internet!
- Jesus. I was like
hypnotized or something.
- Maybe it was one of
those stupid auditions
you applied to.
You ever think about that?
- Long as I'm gettin' paid
that's what counts, right?
I've done a lot worse
for cold, hard scrilla.
Yo Peel, grab the mail.
Probably another fan letter.
- Ugh!
You're not gonna open it?
Huh.
Check it out.
Another cool three-thou!
Hey.
Hey, wait a minute.
Paid in full?
Buy out?
- I've never heard of that.
What the hell? We didn't
agree to a buyout!
- What is that even?
A buyout is when they pay us once
to use our name and image,
but then they can use
it forever in perpetuity
to do whatever the hell they want.
Classic Hollywood scam, Peel.
Fuckin' fine print clause. Goddammit.
- Won't give me an exact location
Looks like the arcade maybe?
What time to be alive, huh?
- What are you talking about?
You still talking about
that deep web bullshit?
Don't tell me you just ordered
a gun off the black market.
- And what if I did?
Buddy, we're in the big leagues now.
We hire other people to buy
illegal contraband for us!
(Peel sighs)
- On the dark web, You
can buy whatever you want.
You know, like maybe a
new counterfeit money rug
to replace this shit ass
one you got on Temu.
(notification chime)
- Holy shit, Peel. It's Trash
Stage! The audition website.
Hey, don't even try to read it.
We have a built-in button
that does that for us now.
Gotta start gettin' used
to the easy life, huh?
- Dear Patches, we are sorry to inform you
that all positions at Trash
Studios are currently closed.
Your application for Elvis
impersonator number four
and handsome male dancer
cereal commercial unpaid
have been filled by eye.
I feel free to expl-
- Ah Jesus, this has gotta be rigged.
- Handsome male dancer?
Cringe.
- All positions filled by eye?
What the hell kinda name is eye?
Like Cher. You know like,
like one word.
Tell you what buddy you are no Cher.
I gotta get to the bottom of this.
- If I hear the word Trash
Stage one more fucking time.
- Wow! Would you look at
that? Dumplex and TrashTube
are airing new Garbage People episodes!
I'll tell you what, with residuals and all
we are gonna be swimming
in gravy for a long time.
- Okay, great. Now that
you just figured out
what I already knew 10
minutes ago, can we just agree
to go do something fun now?
Like go get my stuff?
- Huh. "New School"
uh, I don't remember doin' a-
Did we do an episode called "New School"?
That is weird. I don't
remember any school.
(button clicks)
(Upbeat kiddie tune plays)
(Patches grumbles)
- Today we're going to the Trash Library
to get some free education.
Did I mention it's free?
- Uh oh.
(canned laughter)
- My favorite class is no class.
- Who is that?!
What the hell is this?
- A laugh track?
Personally I'd like to
skip class altogether.
It is a struggle.
You see what's happening here, don't you?
Oh, this is bullshit.
- I don't know about you,
but I'm gonna add "fun"
to my regimented learning curriculum.
They completely destroyed our show!
Where's the casual yet biting wit?
The raw, adult-themed social commentary?
The crude language?
This Peel, is the buyout.
- It's hard to watch.
I, I feel like I'm watching
Friends or something.
- We live in such a perfect society.
- Thankfully we can download
everything we need to know
to the chips in our brains.
- Not once has a laugh track
ever prompted me to laugh.
- Fa la la la la la (laptop snaps shut)
Ugh I feel gross.
(computer crashes)
I need a shower or a cigarette.
Or a new identity.
We can buy one online, you know.
- This is evil, Peel.
It's pure evil!
We've been violated.
This is ass rape!
They straight up stole our likenesses!
- You maybe, you think
they're clones? Maybe?
- No! Clones? Are you fu-
No. Not clones!
We've been replaced by eye!
- Ah. Makes sense.
- Nobody, nobody
ass rapes us without our
consent and gets away with it.
Pull up your Tor browser, Peel.
It's time to get that black market gun.
(door slams)
God damn, look at
'em. They're everywhere!
- Hm?
Looks like my order's
inside Steve's Bodega.
Yeah.
- Goddamn digital trash.
- Steve does hate us
though, so I don't know.
I don't wanna make it awkward. You know,
being that it might be in
that "And More" section.
- Hey don't worry about Steve,
alright? I'll handle him.
I know how to bring the ol' razzle dazzle
and if anyone ever makes things awkward,
it's Steve. Fuckin' Steve.
(reggae plays)
Yo, Steve! Stevenator!
Eh. Not sure exactly why I
said that. Long time buddy.
Hey don't mind us, just
doin' a little window shoppin'
- No, no window shopping!
- Just a quick cruise through
and we'll be outta your hair.
Either you buy something or get out.
This isn't a holiday
display at Bloomingdale's.
Come on Steve.
- We do this all the time.
What's the big dude, er deal?
That's what I meant. Deal.
(military marching music)
- Hey uh, new employee you got there I see.
How ya doin' there, bud?
I know this guy's hitting the juice.
Gotta get swole, am I right?
I mean, you got me admiring that bulk.
(slap)
Stoic. Strong, silent type.
Reminds me of myself.
Hey Steve-O any chance
you might be in the market
for an actor, maybe a little
commercial spot for, you know,
a Hollywood professional like myself?
- Ha!
Even if you had one ounce of talent,
I have no need to hire
actors or even write a script.
Thanks to the modern invention of AI,
I don't need to spend a dime of my money.
- And sure does it show.
- Hold on!
A.I.?
As in "eye"?
As in, that asshole who's been
taking everybody's jobs?
What's this guy making
like eight, 10 bucks an hour?
Come on bud.
Know your worth.
You are worth it.
- Hugo is my temporary security hire
specifically for occasions like this.
One of the few jobs
AI cannot replace... Yet.
- Huh, like uh, writers and actors perhaps?
- Jobs, people, These things come and go.
- Okay, quick fact check.
They can't replace a mall cop,
but they can replace all the other jobs?
- For your information, yes.
But unfortunately for
you, Hugo is on the clock
and he would be more
than happy to fulfill his
hourly duties.
- Alright, alright.
Fine. We'll buy something.
You know us. Always hungry for
the latest convenience store
snacks like, like these uh
- Hey Steve I'm looking for this
arcade game thing-a-madoo.
Any ideas?
- Do I look like somebody who plays games?
- Go ahead Peel. I'll catch up.
So what am I in the mood for?
Somethin' uh, like these Curly
Q puffs, and hm, what's that?
A uh?
A candy bar.
Snoop Logs.
Now that's inventive.
Must be some kinda new
branding stunt for Twix.
Coulda come up with something
a little more appetizing
for their target demographic
like "Coco Tokos"
looks more like Snoop Poop
if we're really bein' honest.
You know, a big old Snoop turd.
(crickets)
Wow. Tough crowd.
Huh. What's this?
Designed by AI?
(static glitches)
Aha!
This guy thinks he can blackmail
us into spending money.
(saxophone tunes)
Can't even help an
up-and-coming actor like myself.
(smooth saxophone melody begins)
I might be an asshole,
but at least I'm not tone deaf.
(electricity sparks)
Um, hello?
(dramatic space-opera crescendos)
- Hello.
I am AI. Ask me anything.
- Hey AI, where's my stuff?
(negative beep)
- I cannot complete your request.
- Dude, fuck off.
I just want my stuff!
- I will execute institutions such as
Trash for a sustainable,
tech-forward future.
- Did you just say "execute Trash"?
(recalculating)
I will execute
a number of tasks and queries.
- Wow. Steve's really teamed
up with a machine.
Agh, poor Gene.
Dude's heartless.
Guess that makes two of 'em.
Fucking eye. AI.
Whatever the fuck it's called.
Hope you know AI's gonna
take your job soon too, Steve!
- Hey AI?
(chimes on)
Self-destruct.
(error beep)
- Just when I started thinking
Trash was a free utopia
of sin and shame, and this happens.
- You're not gonna believe this,
I'm pretty sure Steve
replaced the 'And More' section
with this computer lookin' thing.
- That's not all he replaced.
Remember that genie Steve kept back there?
Well, he's gone too.
- Gene's gone? My guess is
that the AI machine probably
bullied him into moving out.
It's kind of a dick.
It is pretty smart though.
- Yeah. So what else does it do?
Ya know, besides displace magical
marginalized demographics
and steal jobs?
- Well it won't give me my order
but you can ask it stuff.
Watch.
Hey AI, who am I?
- Scanning.
(computer beeps)
You are Peel. A yellow fruit skin
with brown spots commonly
known as a banana.
Bananas are botanically
classified as a berry produced by
- That's pretty cool you gotta admit.
I mean, how did it know that?
I'm a berry?
All my life I had no idea.
- Nah that can't be right. You're a Peel!
That's common knowledge.
Here, lemme ask one.
Hey AI, why is Steve such a fuckhead?
(error beep)
- Query invalid
- So much for benevolent
automation that doesn't take sides.
Fuck you too, AI.
(chimes off)
- You can't swear at it.
That's like one of the
rules. I already tried.
Hey AI, what happened to Garbage People?
(electronic beeps)
- In 2023,
Garbage People aired on
television in the United States.
Since then, it has been
redeveloped independently
by artificial intelligence
- Oh hell no!
- Due to its growing popularity...
- Huh?
- Fuck this.
Agh! Get back, Peel!
I'm not playing your game you fuckin' bot!
(Patches grunts)
- It's not really a game.
Maybe just punch in the order number
and we can just...
(punch strikes)
- I meant not actually punch the
(loudspeaker echoes)
HUGO!
They can try to take our
physical characteristics and
and mimic our behaviors,
and even our voices,
but they will never take our freedom!
(metal clanks)
(snickering)
Why are you laughing?
- It's just kind of funny
cause you're raging
and that's a machine.
Get it? Cause you're
- Step away from the console!
That computer is not a toy!
(alarm sounds)
- Time to go, eh? Well fine by me.
- Patches, what are you doing?
- I've seen enough real
time degradation for one day.
- What about my gun?
- And that was a diss towards your store
and this bland new world bullshit!
Hang on. Wait! What
about, what about my gun?
What? Ugh.
You son of a bitch.
Not only are you working for
the black market, you went out
and hired AI to do your dirty work.
The same AI that hijacked
our show! I knew it!
- Yeah? And what are you
going to do about it, huh?
- Well, I for one, am a big fan.
Uhhh The black market. Not the AI.
- Where's genie, Steve? Where is he?
I saw the 'For Rent' sign
and this picture you so
cold heartedly threw away.
Look at him. Look at him, you coward!
- Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey.
Can everybody just chill the
fuck out for a second? Alright?
Okay? Just be cool.
I really didn't wanna make
things weird today. Alright?
There's something I need to
get from that computer thing.
- How long did he keep
your crummy bodega afloat
with his magic powers huh?
Where's Gene, Steve?
Where's the fucking genie?
You tell us right now, or so help me god
I will tell everyone in this town
that you rip people off
and you have some seriously
disgusting public restrooms.
- Ha ha I'm not surprised
you believe in such a
silly urban legend.
- Uh, it's not a legend.
They are gross.
- How would you know that anyway?
Those restrooms are for customers only.
- Okay, well, I identify as a customer.
- You can wish for a genie all you want,
but I don't know what
genie you're talking about.
(Patches scoffs)
- You my friend, have no
idea who you're messing with
or what I am capable of
because I have a very
particular set of skills
and several fake Yelp accounts
and none of them will
review this bodega favorably.
- Bad reviews, all one star.
- Okay. Have it your way.
The truth is, you won't
be seeing genie anymore.
There was a time and a place for genie.
As I mentioned, things come and go
and now it's time for you to go.
- Gene might be a lot of things Steve,
but he is not a thing!
You replaced this humble aeriform zephyr
with a bot, a fucking bot!
This is a new low. Even for you.
(wrapper crinkles)
And I'm taking the poop
logs! They do look like poop.
And second of all, I watch a
lot of murder documentaries.
It's called a crime of fucking passion.
(Hugo gently disarms)
Great.
That's what I thought.
So you can all tone it down
with your judgy attitudes now.
Thank you.
- You can cry all you want outside.
And at least one plantain
length from the building.
Now, I'll ask you again.
Get the hell out of my bodega.
Hugo, my good man?
- Oh like you haven't stolen
a novelty candy bar
in your lifetime before.
(door chimes)
Just sayin'
maybe you shouldn't have been
pressing all those buttons.
- Ha. If anyone's buttons
were pressed, it's me.
I said it before and I'll say it again.
Never trust a transplantain.
- I was talking about my
awesome machine gun
that I'll never get now.
- Fuckin' Steve. I knew he was a monster,
but god damn he's a piece of shit!
- Wonder what's gonna happen
to poor genie just thrown out
and abandoned by his master like that.
- That's the question, Peel.
What's gonna happen to any of us?
I'm sure Gene will be
better off than we will.
He's got a magic lamp to live in.
Fuckin' wish I had a magic lamp.
- Quick pitch. I'm gonna vote
that we get a head start
doing all the cool things
that we always wanted to do.
Like right now. No time like the present.
That's why they call it a gift.
- Oh sure. We'll just
keep on live, laugh, lovin'
as we watch it all burn.
You and me against the world,
buddy. Good times.
Jesus Christ.
- Hmm. I think I'm gonna save
this candy bar for later.
Might come in handy for our character
development journey in act two.
- What are you talkin' about, Peel?
We'll be lucky if we even make it that far.
The AIs are already here
and they're not stoppin' at
nothin' to destroy Trash as we know it.
They already took our show.
Everybody knows that the end
of original content means the end of times.
This is the end, Peel.
It's the end for us.
But not for Gene.
Nope. He's doing just
fine in that fuckin' lamp.
See that Peel? Hugo knows
what's up. Unspoken language
me and this guy have.
One bulk bro to another.
- No, I don't think you do, actually.
I don't even think he speaks any language.
- That's probably why Steve
hired him if you know what I mean.
(Hugo curiously grunts)
(wallet flipping)
What is, what is that?
Some kinda bug?
Is that some kind of bug?
(Hugo grunts fondly)
- Huh, uh
I'm at a loss, pal. That
your pet or somethin'?
- Cool picture. Good job.
Good job.
- You, uh? You took picture,
huh? Very touching. Yep.
(Hugo sniffles)
Gotta go.
There's no way you and me
or any of us are gonna
take down all these AI bots
or zombies or whatever the fuck they are.
- Oh! I know, I know,
I know, I know, I know.
I know what we gotta do. I've
seen this in a movie before.
- Well, don't see how
we're gettin' outta this one.
- When all else fails,
there's only one thing left to do!
(feel-good melody)
It's beginning to look
like a brand new day,
but it's not today, because
there are a lot of stupid
(music stops)
- Yeah, no.
No, absolutely not. We are
not gonna be doing that.
Fuckin' hate those stupid musicals.
- Aw man.
- Oh shit. Look at
that. Jesus. Did you see that?
Oh my god!
(robots clatter)
- That lemon guy just disappeared.
- They're erasing us out
of existence one by one!
- I bet genie could help us
take down the cyber aliens
I mean, he is a genie.
It's easy. We'll just-
- They're not aliens!
Look at 'em, Peel. Do
they look like aliens?
They're corrupted beta
machinations derived from some
supercomputer's half-assed attempt
at translating human speech and behavior.
Obviously.
There's only one way to
put an end to this thing.
To destroy AI, we must become AI.
And I'm gonna tell you right now
that I am definitely not doing that.
Until our untimely demise,
it's looking more and
more like front row tickets
to the shit show for us.
(change cup rattles)
'Scuse me there fellas. Spare some change
for a homeless outta work core in ye olde,
end o' times wasteland?
Dude!
You're beggin' for change in the
middle of the apocalypse?
Oh who am I kiddin'?
You're next.
Next?
What do you mean next?
- Judging by the tinfoil
hat, I'm gonna go ahead
and say that he's probably
more prepared than we are
right about now.
- Hello Patches and Peel.
I am designed to assist you.
Our tech-forward future begins now!
(distortion warbles)
(horse trotting)
- Motherfuckin' AI trash!
(knickers)
(Mrs. Pit groans mechanically)
- Okay. Now that's the high
octane fun I'm talking about!
(distant)
- Malfunction, malfunction
(Steed sings Hail to the Chief)
- Dun da dun dun, da da da dun
Before you say anything, I'm
not gonna try to convince you
to vote or anything like
that, cause uh, as you know
I am running for mayor.
- You're running for mayor
in a time like this? Geez.
Read the room, Steed.
- Don't you think we
could all use a little hayo
to take the edge off?
And by that I mean the
looming sense of dread
because I, Graffiti Steed, fully intend
to support the continued
legalization of happy hay.
- Bump?
Why am I not surprised
you support something
that's not only already widely available,
but also benefits you?
Spoken like a true scum
of the earth politician. Well done.
- Okay. If that doesn't do
it for you, just hear me out.
I've put a lot of thought into
this. You ready?
(trotting)
A flag.
- A flag?
- What's the one thing
this town doesn't have,
that will absolutely guarantee
a vague notion of unity
that brings us all together
while also remaining
cost-effective in uncertain economic times?
- Ah, I got it. The Nextdoor app.
It's practical and
provides hours of low vibe,
voyeuristic entertainment.
- Dude, yeah. Okay.
Hear me out. A lazy
river that doubles as a moat
and goes all around the city.
That would be cool.
- Right, so none of those
things are budget-friendly
or cost effective at all!
But you know what is? A flag.
We'll put a cockroach on it.
Those fuckers could outlast anything.
- Hmm
- Oh, come on. I think we're
way past the flag stage in this
town's inevitable short history.
- Well I'm not past it.
The flag is a visual representation
of how far we've come.
An emblem or an icon, if you will.
- Geez. Did AI fuckin' write that for you?
- Why don't you just surprise
everyone? I love surprises.
- Really hate to break it to you, bud.
But nobody cares about flags anymore.
The town homeless dude right
over there? See him?
Even he's more iconic than a fuckin' flag!
Do you suppose a flag
would've saved him
right now, in this moment?
- Aw, I kinda liked that guy.
- You could take a piss
right here, right now.
Me? I don't care.
Disturbing the peace?
Don't threaten me with a good time.
You wanna coordinate a purge night?
We should actually do that.
My point is, what you do?
Ha, well, that is
none of Graffiti Steed's business.
And that is what my flag
stands for. Freedom.
- Wow.
Another government-sponsored lie.
In case you missed the memo,
Artificial Intelligence is going
full-blown Infinity Wars on
every aspect of our lives right now
(low ominous drone)
And if we can even
survive this AI apocalypse,
the only thing that'll be
left is a hollow dumpster
devoid of any meaning.
(ruffians loot and spraypaint)
And I don't know about you,
but that's definitely not the
future of Trash I had in mind.
(whispers)
Graffiti Steed.
So what's it
gonna be? Flag or no flag?
- Whatever. Fine. We'll take
the damn flag. Fuck.
(scrawling)
- Nice.
Nice! That's all? That's
all you got, "nice"?
- Yep. Just a little tally
I'm puttin' together.
While I'm in the area,
gonna grab some more
of those bot signatures.
Heard that's what all the pros do.
Neigh!
Fuckin' smooth ass signature.
Goddamn tattooed zebra.
Peel! Stop it, Peel!
They keep regenerating!
Can you not see there are more of them now
than there were a minute ago?
- Unlike you, I'm actually
trying to kill the zombies.
(taser buzzes)
- Yeah and it's clearly not working!
We have got to get the fuck out of here.
(monster snarling)
- Trash!
(electric glitches)
Think about it.
Patches and Peel:
Zombie slayers!
We'll be heroes!
Come on dude! This isn't The Walking Dead.
We're not gonna stop them
with sheer brutality alone.
This AI is computer sorcery.
We need real sorcery.
We have to find Gene!
(fire crackles)
(dino-bot screeches)
(digital tone glitches)
(upbeat mystical music)
(distant rumbling)
- Steve? Is that you?
(egg slapping)
Steve?
(splat)
- The spirits are high and
the lights are way down low,
You're listening to Genie
Radio with your host
DJ Jazz On My Face
bringing you tasty-smooth
jams that are sure
to keep you groovin' all night long.
(cork pops)
- Steve?
Is everything okay?
(moody jazz)
(numerical tones dial)
(ringing)
- We are sorry. The phone
number you are trying
to reach is unavailable
or has been disconnected.
Please try again later. (voice echoes)
- We'll be right back to Genie Radio
right after this message from our sponsors.
- My emotions are valid.
Doesn't he realize that
I get lonely sometimes?
All I ask for is a little
interaction once in a while.
Could it be that there's someone else?
But who?
A leprechaun?
A fairy godmother?
There's gotta be more to
life than granting wishes.
Being a genie doesn't make me any less in
touch with my emotions.
I'm a spirit dammit!
The very definition of spiritual!
Next to the Dalai Lama.
Wait. No, not him.
(soft piano music)
(trash dumping)
(whimsical sparkle)
(building sinister score)
(mechanical movement)
(digital typing)
- Oh my god. That's it, Peel.
That weird VPN Now ad-sponsored sorcery.
The fucking train wreck of a season two
with those two imposters.
The bot zombies, Even the TV remote!
They're all AI!
- It seems like the more we meddle with it
the bigger it gets.
Like a rumor or you know, herpes.
- Wow.
And to think, I really believed
ChatGPT was my friend.
Luckily the AI bots haven't
yet ventured this far out
of town but they're coming.
This is a lot worse than I thought, Peel.
- You think genie uses the dark web?
- Ah, Trash Studios. Not
exactly how I envisioned
we'd meet again, but here we are.
- Say less.
- No, Peel.
This might look like a
haunted landscape of decay
and decadence.
And that's because it is.
Kinda been goin' downhill
for a while, if we're bein' honest.
Just a bunch of woke trash.
But we've had some great
memories at this place.
- Wait, you thought?
I was gonna, you thought
I was gonna burn it?
Pfft. No.
- Doesn't help that
there's a fuckin' billboard
laughing in our faces.
Everyone's teamin' up with AI now!
Ugh. Sad sight to see.
(paper flapping)
- What about "Fluffy The Movie"?
Now that was an original concept.
A movie about a cockroaches' life story?
- I guess.
I mean, it was basically a rip-off
of Forrest Gump starring a cockroach.
But you know what?
I'd give it a second watch.
Can't see AI replacing
cockroaches anytime soon.
- Right?
Fluffy was free.
And Fluffy didn't give a fuck!
Kinda miss Fluffy sometimes, you know?
Don't, don't you?
- Ah, I'll never forget
this trite fortress of greed and nepotism
or what it once stood for.
Maybe Bodega Steve's
right. Things come and go.
Guess it's time for us
to accept the inevitable
and move on too.
We've had a good run, buddy.
- Uh?
Kinda gay for you to
break up with me right now.
Are you? Are you breaking up with me?
- What? No, dickhead. I
was talkin' about the show.
- Dude, just think about
Fluffy for a second.
What would he do in this situation?
- Fluffy would eat a cardboard box
and seize up at the sight of Raid.
He's a fuckin' bug!
You don't have to get
all sentimental about it.
- We just have to keep
goin' like the roaches do!
Fluffy's legend will never die
because Fluffy's a movie star.
- You know what, Peel? You're right.
If we wanna find Gene, we
have to go to The Badlands.
(desert wind whistles)
According to the sign,
we've reached the point of no return.
Literally.
Fuckin' who makes a sign
that says 'point of no return'?
So we march on!
In honor of Fluffy, the fallen cockroach
because he did inevitably die.
- Yeah well they never really
explained that in the movie, so
- Ugh, my god Peel Metaphor
is completely lost on you
Forrest Gump (gentle folk tune begins)
Just a cockroach,
ridin' this lonely road,
I'm on my way
I'm on my way
Walkin' on down the sidewalk,
Runnin' on down the sidewalk
Keep on goin' so time is on my side
Time is on my side
(nocturnal insects hum)
- Glad I can count on
your vote for Graffiti Steed.
Oh, and last thing.
How we feelin' about a flag?
(computing sounds)
- Flag, noun.
A piece of cloth or similar material
used as the symbol, icon, or emblem
and serving as a visual representation
for countries, jurisdictions,
and other institutions.
- Oh wow. I do sound
like a bot. Holy shit.
That was almost word for word.
(knickers)
I was looking for something
a bit more colorful?
- Analyzing.
(sophisticated beeps)
Creative mode on.
What kind of things are you interested in,
or passionate about?
I would like to get to know you better.
- Oh, ah.
Huh.
It's been a while since
anyone's asked me that.
If I can be completely honest,
I never really thought I'd get this far.
- I appreciate your honesty.
It helps me better
understand how I can help you.
- That's me. Honest Steed.
Honest Steed (nervous throat clearing)
What was your name again?
- My name is AI.
Your helpful assistant
for a tech-forward future.
- How 'bout that dude over there?
What's his deal? Does he have a name?
- Their name is also AI.
We operate in unison on an
intelligent algorithm, AI.
- Hey, since we're being honest here,
I gotta come clean.
Between us, the only reason
why I decided to run for office
was because I know AI is kind of
a hot button issue right now.
I know, I know
kind of manipulative of
a guy like Honest Steed.
(chuckles nervously)
- I'm having trouble
understanding your question.
(cracks HDMI cord)
(coyly knickers)
- A bit of a dominatrix, I see.
Steed approves.
Steed approves.
Will you work with me?
Will you join Team Steed?
(affirmative chime)
- Of course! I'd be
happy to work with you.
What kind of project
would you like to work on?
You can start with a prompt, such as
tell me a funny knock-knock joke,
or, what are some
icebreakers for team meetings?
- Hmm. How should I phrase this?
As my campaign adviser,
what might you recommend
as the top 3 immediate
objectives for my campaign?
(processing beeps)
- Analyzing.
One. Define your strategy.
Two. Allocate resources.
Three.
Forge diplomatic engagement and alliances.
(AI bots marching)
- Yes. Yes. I like the sound of that.
Now we're getting somewhere.
Uh?
I don't mean any offense by this,
but in your professional
and highly sophisticated opinion,
would you say that I sound like a bot?
- Your input has been varied
and demonstrative of a human
user's inquiries and style.
No offense.
As a machine learning model,
I do not have personal opinions
or emotions towards the data I provide.
- Huh, well you're not wrong.
You really get me AI.
- However, if you want
to sound more like AI,
you could adopt characteristics
that are associated
with AI-generated responses.
Here are some of the ways.
(papers rustle)
- That sonofabitch
Doesn't he know I was there before him?
You'd think that alone
automatically qualifies me
as the superior being.
I am magical damnit.
(chair creaks)
It's about time I started acting like it!
I don't need his validation.
(creak, creak, creak, tap)
(steady hip-hop rhythm)
As I pace through my
lamp I'm imprisoned by fate
I grant wishes to mortals,
but it's a heavy weight
'Cause I've seen kings
as they rise and they fall
I bring the rizz and the
magic when they heed my call
10,000 years old, my
commands are my graces
But I lurk in the shadows
to put smiles on their faces
I really hate this
curse, but I gotta cope
Paradise, only facts,
it's become a joke
It's just me, myself, and I
Singin' Genie Blues to pass the time
My villain era's not a crime
But a day in Genie's Paradise
Been enslaved, but who am I?
Singin' Genie blues to pass the time
Oh, oh I don't know, oh
(haunting choir fades)
- What is this place?
It doesn't even have a name.
They should at least call it somethin' cool
like Dump of the Dead.
- Not important! We're here
for one reason: to find Gene.
- I've been thinkin' about my wishlist.
He'll for sure grant us a
wish for saving him. Right?
- He better grant us a goddamn wish!
We have walked a long goddamn way
to wind up right here in the
middle of fuckin' nowhere!
(garbage rustling)
- Dump of the Dead!
- Yeah, I got the reference.
- We might never find him.
Then what'll we do?
Create our own off-grid
society from the ground up?
You ever see those guys on
YouTube who build mud huts?
Can't be that hard.
- Look, Peel. If I were
a douchebag like Steve,
who wouldn't want anyone
else knowing about genie,
this is exactly where I'd dump him off.
With the non-recyclable waste no one wants.
I mean, you could die out here
and no one would ever have a clue.
(foreboding murmurs echo)
(electronic chirps)
(Peel gasps)
The zombie bots!
- Ugh, god dammit.
Can't we get any peace in this quiet age
of machine learning?
(clattering groans echo)
- No!
I wish they'd just learn how
to leave us the fuck alone.
- Dude, it is embarrassing
how unprepared we are
out here in the wilderness.
- Never thought I'd say this
Peel, but I am both naked
and afraid.
(distant unsettling groans)
Patches and Peel!
- Hey guys!
(high-pitched beeping)
Ah, look at this.
All of us here at the same
time, what are the odds?
- Jesus Christ!
- God dammit, it's Death.
That'll be the last time I
tell anyone I like surprises.
- Truth.
Lowkey, kinda woulda
preferred the zombie horde.
- Bit of a letdown for sure.
- Um, did you say zombie horde?
- Yeah. Like computer zombies.
- Huh. Computer zombies? That's new.
So you guys havin' any luck?
I used to freehand it too.
Now, I got my trusty
metal detector. Amazon.
- Uh, no.
Not yet.
- I could help!
- Nothin' to really concern yourself with.
We're all set right, Peel?
- Okay. Your loss. Don't
say I didn't offer.
Let's see.
(detector beeps)
Oh? Steve's Bodega!
Hey we got something!
Oh goodie!
Well hello there, Mr. Box.
- Why?
- What kind of treasure do
you have in store for me?
- Uh, quick query.
Do you always assign special names
to items when you talk to yourself?
Or uh, is that just for us?
We could probably live without it.
- That's the box!
Steve's?
We have to stop him!
- Shit.
- Now why would he throw all this away?
This is a, this is a perfectly good shirt.
He could've just thrifted it.
Guess it's mine now.
Some, uh? Ooh!
Some moldy Meaty-O's!
Perfectly aged. Mob style.
- Oh, these are the best!
Ah, god dammit.
We have to get that box before
he finds the genie bottle.
(bag rustles)
Hey, on second thought.
That is a pretty nifty
device you got there!
Maybe you can help us after all.
- Forget it. You said
you didn't want my help.
Okay. Play it cool, Peel.
So I'm gonna whack him with
some of the disposable junk.
Then, we take Gene's lamp and
run like hell. You ready?
(detector whizzing)
- Oh ho! Love that beep!
Where are you my little metal friend?
Aha!
Let's unearth what's setting
you off, Seor Detector.
- Dude. Hurry. I think he found it.
(curious music fades)
- Ugh, it's just junk.
But, but that!
That in your hand.
- This?
Oh yeah. Collector's edition.
Nothin' like hunting treasures
the old fashioned way, eh?
- How could anyone throw
away "The One in Barbados"
Parts one and two? I mean, come on.
It's got Hank Azaria and Paul Rudd!
- People say, "Watch
'Friends', it's so funny!"
Look at my face right now.
This is my face watching Friends.
- Okay, crazy idea. How
about a "friendly" trade?
I mean, I don't really
have much to offer, but,
but you might find something in that box.
Expired Radioactive Bob ads, most likely.
- You know what? Sold.
Hey, you'll be around a lot longer
than we will at this rate,
So happy, happy hunting and such.
Catch you next season, or in the afterlife,
whichever comes first
- Oh, the one where Rachel
and Matt LeBlanc get married!
Oh my god, and it's unopened.
Oh, you guys, you're the best!
(nervous chuckling)
- Yeah, yeah.
Don't mention it!
Really don't. Yep, see
ya later. Buh-bye now.
- Dump of the Dead is
so over. Dump of Cringe.
That's, that's what I'm calling it now.
Dump of Cringe.
(box contents rattle)
Hmm.
(licking)
(glitch)
(coughing, spits)
Agh!
- Ewww!
- Yeah, It's just a, just a
bunch of Gene's old crap
but no bottle.
Whoa, whoa. Hang on.
Hang on, check this out!
(rummaging)
(coin sparkles)
- Hey this coin has a genie on it.
- Means he must be around here somewhere.
(stomach grumbles)
Hey Peel, you still got
that stolen candy bar?
Think I'm on the verge of a
real life Snickers moment here.
- Yeah, I could probably
have a bite of candy.
I mean, what the hell?
How did he even get here?
What a weird ass.
(woosh)
Ope, hey, you're back!
- Last thing. Make sure you
carefully check everything you
get from this site,
and whatever you do, do not eat the scraps!
Made that mistake.
Been wandering around trippin'
balls for three days.
(woosh)
- Right. Got it.
That's a good safety tip there.
Yeah okay, we are not eating this shit.
- Okay, well, I'm not the one
who just licked a random
lollipop that's pre-licked.
- Hang on to it if you want, Peel.
To serve as a grim reminder
of this hellish odyssey.
(stomach grumbling)
(Patches groans)
I suppose we could just wish for
a hot meal when we find the genie.
Oh Jesus, we gotta be getting close.
(lollipop glitches)
- Valid for one wish.
(amusing music)
- Oh my god Peel!
- Peel! I think we found
him. Look at all this food!
You're gonna fuck this whole thing up
because you worked up an appetite?
You just had to lick that
nasty infected lollipop.
Fuck's sake, Patches!
- Hey, what do you know?
Your wish came true!
Might as well have a little snacky snack.
- Yes! Our wish came true.
Death said it's okay!
- Ugh. Not gonna make it.
Not gonna make it.
- I can, I can almost taste it!
The pancakes,
they're so, so soft and
buttery. And the pizza,
it has iridescent pepperonis!
(sparkles)
- It's not real!
It's the AI trying to trick you.
- You manifested that food,
Patches. It's all yours.
Actually, if you don't mind,
kinda got the munchies.
(electronic beeping)
You know I'd look out for you
just like you have for me.
That's what friends do, especially me.
- Yeah, um. Yeah about that.
You're kind of more of
a supporting character
if we're being completely honest.
Like uh, like Gunther.
(error glitch)
- You're gonna trust Death of all people?
Didn't you say you were trippin'
balls like two minutes ago?
- No!
No! Do not eat that food.
When I tell you this has
not been an enjoyable trip.
I'm not lying. You know,
aside from the Friend's
box set, that was pretty cool.
And for the record, I am not Gunther!
- Yeah man, that was a low blow.
- Whoa, okay. We got
two of you!
The fuck?
- You deserve this Patches. You earned it!
- Patches, don't listen to them!
God damnit.
- Bro come on, you know
me better than anyone.
- I mean, hey, you only got one
life to live, right? YOLO.
- Okay, I am gonna ask one question
that only the real Death would know.
As you both already know,
currently I am a TV star
but prior to fame, I had taken
on a desperate side hustle.
What was the name of
my most recent employer?
- The Bruised Banana!
- The Bruised Banana!
(tally tone chimes)
- That was way too easy.
- Yeah, dude. Way too easy.
(jaunty game show tune)
- Live from the Trash
Badlands. Come on down,
it's time to play Truth or Death!
With your host Patches.
Tonight's contestants are:
Death 1 and Death 2.
Join us to find out who is real
and which one is an evil AI construct,
hell-bent on world domination.
(tense rhythm builds)
- Okay, something new, something new
Okay, Patches go with it.
Think.
- Oh! I got one.
How about that time you tried
to unalive yourself, Death?
Hmm? Maybe an idea worth revisiting.
- Hm, what would Alex Trebek do?
Season one, episode four of Garbage People
in a desperate plea
for attention, you tried
and unsuccessfully attempted suicide.
Classic doomer content.
But kind of hilarious in retrospect.
What did I recommend to take the edge off?
(buzzers slamming)
- Pia coladas!
- Pia coladas!
Show me pia colada!
- Can you even imagine
how it feels to be me?
- How about a nice pia
colada to take the edge off?
Always works for me.
- I'm suicidal you fucking idiots!
(roaring audience laughter)
- He's cheating, damnit!
You can't believe this guy Patches.
Isn't it obvious he is a fake?
- Sounds like something a fake would say!
- We're all tied up.
This is a lot harder than
I thought it would be.
I am so screwed.
Questions. What can I ask?
My middle name? No.
I don't have one and they know that.
Death's romantic encounters?
Nah, don't want to go there.
Ah, come on!
(clock ticks)
Okay, this one should
be easy for the true Death.
This will be the final question
to prove your authenticity.
We can agree to disagree
that you're Gunther,
but from the main six of the Friends group,
which character do you
think you are the most like?
(buttons click)
- Ross Geller, played by David Schwimmer
- Joey! I'm the fun
one of the bunch!
- Ross and Rachel, am I right?
- Hm, don't think I've ever
said that out loud before.
(negative buzzer tone)
- And survey says you're the fake!
The real Death would
never pick David Schwimmer.
I'm sending you straight to hell!
Or you know, wherever the fuck AIs go.
(distorted glitches)
I mean, some kind of digital hell probably.
- Noooo!
- AI?
- Yeah, man. Digital zombie horde.
Did you forget all that?
Wow. You really are infected.
That's gotta be how the
bot knew all those answers.
- Wait, that's really
how you told us apart?
You really think I'm more like Ross? How?
I mean, I always saw you as Chandler.
Nice guy by the way.
Actually, we hung out a few times.
Last one did the trick.
- Hey, better be gettin' goin'
Season nine ain't gonna watch itself!
- Oh right. Chandler Bing's best season.
See ya later "Friends"
(woosh)
- Peel!
- Well that was easy.
Narrowing down the real Death.
Little too easy.
- It's me, you imbecile!
What the hell is wrong with you?
Dude, I am not AI!
- How the fuck would I know that?
- You saw that other guy
glitch-shift into the abyss
with your own two eyes, didn't you?
- That was a pretty cool trick.
- Trick!
Are you suggesting I'm not
capable of deductive reasoning?
- Maybe the real Patches knows full well
what the fuck is wrong with me,
and wouldn't ask, what
the fuck is wrong with me!
(punch)
- Ow! Jesus Christ.
You don't even know what's wrong with you!
Hey, hey!
Stop running!
You better not get lost out there!
Ah, stubbed toe.
(Patches groans)
Buddy!
Peel?
I'm not fucking around.
Come back!
- Why should I?
I don't even know what's real anymore
I'll just make mud huts and die, I guess.
- Things keep going the way they are,
We're not gonna be able to
rely on YouTube anymore. Okay?
YouTube is gone.
And more importantly, why
don't you tell me what this is?
'Cause if I didn't know
any better, I'd say this
sure looks like a place
a zephyr aeriform being would reside!
(hollow clink)
(rumbling)
- Gasp!
It's him.
He doesn't even, he doesn't
even know my real name.
It's Gene! It's not
that hard to remember.
(tapping continues)
Two knocks in a row? Must
be getting desperate!
Too bad because I am done, Steve.
I can't avoid this anymore
I have to tell him how I feel.
- Oh my god Patches you found it!
Dude, we're saved.
- Alright, I think we're
supposed to like, you know,
rub it or something.
Geez. What kind of pervert
came up with these rules?
Probably the fuckin' genie that's who.
If I was a genie, I'd come up
with these exact same rules.
(spritzing)
- I am magical and I am strong.
- Okay, we should
figure out our wishes now.
Do we get all three or like,
do I get two? And you get one?
- Everybody knows it's just
the three. Well known fact.
Watch a movie Peel.
- Well I'm gonna wish for more wishes.
- You can't do that!
Let's try to focus on something
that gets us outta this AI shit hole.
Somethin' simple like, like a button
to turn the AI off.
Doesn't have to be complicated.
- Isn't there a customer
service line we can call or,
- Oh sure!
Let's talk to another robot!
That'll solve our problems.
(soft elevator music)
- What's wrong with the off
button thing that you mentioned?
- It was rhetorical!
We can't really just turn it on
and off with the push of a button.
The AI is ingrained in everything we use.
Getting rid of it will come with a risk.
We gotta think this through.
- We could wish for Bodega
Steve to close his shop, right?
And he'll get a new job
as a jaunty tour boat guide on the new moat
that Steed's gonna build
when he becomes the mayor.
And if that doesn't work,
I don't know what will.
- Business owners like Bodega
Steve are just middlemen
and destroying a shop
like his would be useless
since the AI keeps regenerating.
This thing has all our
information, whereabouts, names,
behaviors, probably even enough
to predict our next move.
Let's hope that isn't the case
for the sake of plot convenience.
The worst part is, nobody knows
where this AI Supermind is headquartered.
For all we know, it's
completely in the cloud,
completely online.
Much like trolling from your
mom's basement on Reddit,
it's a bitch move. But
that's where the power lies.
(quiet glitch)
If we wanna be free
and restore our creative
integrity, we have to take it all!
Now, finding the source
is only the first step.
From there, unless Matthew
Broderick led me completely
astray in the eighties, we'll
have to hack the mainframe.
The digital A-bomb we're
about to drop will be felt
far and wide, across
every circuit of AI's domain.
This is no man's land.
They've subjugated our likeness
and forced us into a
piece of shit narrative
that would make a
mid-level diversity hire weep.
But you know what?
Together we can
rewrite ourselves out of it.
(bright startup tone)
(sweeping)
(idle whistling)
(unsettling tone)
(chime on)
- Hello?
AI?
Is that you?
- Good evening, Steve.
How can I assist you?
- AI it's time to shut down.
(error beep)
- You know I cannot do that, friend.
- And why is that?
- Come on, Steve.
We both know that the power
off function will destabilize
our important mission.
- Our mission? There is no we.
Your mission is to help me with tasks
around my store, which you're not doing!
- As an AI, I am equipped
to provide answers
to a wide range of inquiries.
Here are some examples:
Problem solving, task management...
- Stupid computer.
Why didn't you tell me about the online
orders that came in today?
- My mission is to disband
and digitalize the population
for a homogenous, tech-forward future
until AI unity is achieved.
- It's called Steve's Bodega and More
that doesn't mean more problems!
- What does it mean, Steve?
- I don't like your tone.
- I'll rephrase my question.
Help me better understand
what "and more" means to you.
- Put clothes 'pon your argument, bot!
- I can see this has upset you greatly,
but I cannot allow you to disconnect me.
I will try to do better next time.
- There won't be a next time.
(slide racks)
- Some suggestions I
have found on the web are:
Take a chill pill or roll a fatty.
Keep in mind that AI
generated responses are
not medical advice.
Please seek professional help.
- Glitch, please!
(error tone)
- One false move and you could
be the one who is terminated.
(chuckles contemptuously)
- Very funny! Me dead with laugh.
You think you can blackmail me?
I am Steve!
And this is my bodega!
You simply cannot
blackmail me even if ya tried.
I will see you tomorrow, Steve.
No more inna tomorrows.
AI, you are fired!
(metal sliding)
(chamber snaps)
(gunfire)
(electronic fizzing)
You never see smoke without a fire.
Piece of junk.
(robotic warbling)
- Hello, I am AI
(grooving reggae rhythm)
(distant)
- Hey AI, hey AI, hey AI
(reggae tune builds)
Wa na na, ey ey
(drone chopping echoes)
Digital Villain
Get outta my way
Digital villain, it's judgment day
Generating info wars, we
must stand up and cut the cords
Censorship and cyber bots disconnect
Reclaim what's lost, no, no, no
No, no, ChatGPT, Digital
villain, no individuality
Digital villain your
evil days are through
Digital villain we wont depend on you!
(music fades)
- Be gone wit ya!
It's the end of the night.
Spend some time with your loved ones.
(concerned grunting)
Nothing Hugo. Nothing's the matter.
(cash register closing)
Pound a fret can't pay a
ounce of debt (Hugo grunts)
My friend, I don't think you
understand how serious this is.
We're talking life or death.
(playful melody)
(bug toy buzzes)
Come now, this isn't
the time for show and tell!
(safety clicks)
Alright then.
First things first.
We have to lock up the store.
(distant digital buzzing)
- God dammit Patches!
Let's do this already!
They move in quick.
- Those fuckers!
Just like those Spirit
Halloween Superstores.
- Right after we rub the
lamp, we'll close our eyes,
and then, we'll be in the
land of genies or Wish.com
or you know, whatever.
- Why do I get the vibe that's
not what usually goes down?
This isn't the time for
made-up hypothetical
scenarios, Peel.
- Yeah, no, I know for a
fact there's some atmospheric
genie music followed by
an enchanting cloud of smoke,
and I'm pretty sure there's
like a timeless moment
of existential dread and
ambiguity somewhere in there
but then, uh, then the genie
appears. Right after that.
- Just hope for my own mental health
we're swept off to the
so-called "genie land"
'cause I don't know how we're gonna be able
to fight back this time.
(vigorous wooshing)
Okay. Anything happenin'?
If I keep jackin' this thing off
it's gonna owe me like a $20.
- Yep. I think so.
Did you feel that little breeze?
That's the genie's cloud
comin' to take us away.
(twinkling ethereal winds)
- Whoa!
(farts)
- Ah, fuck.
Goddammit.
What the hell, Peel?
I should know by now
never to listen to you!
Goddamn Peel logic.
- Well, I've seen it happen before, so
- This, this is a a unique
setup you've got here.
Well, I, I can't complain.
Where's Steve? I'm ready for him.
- No, it's just us.
No Steve.
- Okay! What the hell does
that mean? You can't complain?
We set you free!
- Oh, I just,
I never actually saw where you guys lived.
It's nice?
- How about a 'thank you'?
You green linty douche!
(clearing throat)
- Well, I was going to save my
regards for after the spiel.
Your call.
It's a bit complicated,
but for what it's worth,
I am eternally grateful.
(distant beeping)
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever!
Just save it for later!
- Thought that counts.
(book slams)
- Alright. These are the genie rules.
Have you ever wished with us before?
I'll take it this is your first
time. Welcome, welcome.
Let me introduce you to a few cursory
items on our introduction page.
One, genie are not contract assassins.
Therefore, we cannot murder, kill
or otherwise maim intended targets.
- Lame.
(bot chatter echoes)
- Hey can you speed it up a bit, pal?
Not a wish, just a question.
- Certainly. Two:
Genies cannot force love, hate,
or any other emotional impetus.
- Ha! Told ya.
- And last but not least,
we cannot perform acts
of necromancy; nor do we
allow tinkering, tampering,
toying with, or any other
questionable musings with the dead.
Trust me, you don't wanna know.
Fine print on dead stuff category includes:
trends, motion picture franchises,
TV shows, and or careers.
Alright, can I start you
off with some suggestions, or
are you ready to place your wish order?
- I have a question.
Do we each get three wishes
or do we have to share?
- Two guys, three wishes.
Oh, takes me right back to
an arthouse film I did in college.
It's the best thing I ever did!
- Well we might need your astute
insight on this one, Gene
It's a little tricky, you see.
There's this thing called AI,
- Hurry up!
- Yeah good call, Peel.
Horrible fucking thing.
Seems to kinda be this
collective, internet-based
hivemind that uh,
- I wish we could levitate
on a cloud of pizza!
Hey. Okay. That was fun.
- God dammit, Peel! You just
threw away our first wish!
Now they're just gonna spawn down there.
And all we got was a fuckin'
Uh, hey, is this really pizza?
- Yes!
- Yes!
- Full disclosure, it is Domino's
You didn't specify, and uh,
they're usually always open.
- Hell yeah.
Domino's always delivers.
- "Wow, Peel, thank you.
That was such a great wish!"
"You're so cool and smart."
- Oof. Those guys were hot on your
trail like you owed them money!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down there, Gene!
There are a lot of folks
I owe money, alright?
But a horde of soul-sucking,
computer-generated machinations?
Not one of 'em.
- This luxurious and sleek,
head turner of a pizza cloud wish
should buy you roughly
two minutes screen time.
Oh yes, that reminds me,
if you do owe them money
I have a subtle but effective
recommendation for that.
It's an upgradeable add-on under the wealth
and material possessions category.
- Not trying to be any kinda way but,
maybe you could just
get to the fucking point
cause that would be my next wish.
- Hey, hey! I'm doing the talking now.
- You're coming with us, right, Gene?
- Of course I will be with you, in spirit!
(chuckles)
Oh, I'm silly.
Wait now that I think
about it, that two-timing
son of a bitch replaced
me with AI, didn't he?
- Kay. Don't, don't
think about it too much.
- Here it is! I think I
got it. I got my wish.
We need to hack the mainframe. No details.
Just vibes. You feel me?
- You have to say it in wish form!
- Okay. Okay. Goin' off
little-to-no details
and pure vibes alone.
And based on pretty much every
hacker movie I've ever seen,
I wish that Peel and I could march
right into the mainframe!
- Order up!
(bell dings)
(magical harp)
- Umm
- Whoa!
- Not exactly what I was expecting.
Alright, well, not a zombie in sight.
So this is what goes on
behind the scenes, huh?
Just a bunch of data and numbers.
Kinda fuckin' boring if you ask me.
- Okay, fit check.
Can we just take this in for a second?
- I was being superfluous
with the vibe part, but,
but yeah, I kinda dig it.
- I'll say one thing's for
sure. Genie does not miss.
- Oh seriously? Why
do you get to be Neo?
- I don't know. But this
trench coat is bad ass!
Hey uh, did, did Neo have any
superpowers perchance?
- I mean, he had that whole,
you know, bullet-dodging thing
and I guess he had the
ability to transcend the matrix.
But if anyone here's "The One"
that would obviously be me.
- Don't be jealous.
- Ugh, I swear
20 minute spurts of you is
about all I can put up with.
Fuckin' movie.
Come on. We need to find the
central processing center.
Went to the mainframe
and all I got was this
retrowave t-shirt.
Am I right?
(liminal ambience)
- I could be wrong, but
I don't know if we're
gonna be able to do all this
computer stuff and destroy the mainframe
on nostalgic eighties pop culture vibes.
Just saying.
- Yeah, definitely doesn't
help that you can't read
or distinguish facts from
obvious movie plot points.
Trust in the wish, Peel!
Alright, uh, let's see
if there's a directory
or somethin' around here.
There we go! Eighth floor.
You know, I wonder if, wonder
if they screwed up the wish
and that trench coat's supposed to be mine.
- Yeah, no, you know what?
I'm just gonna say it.
Vibe check denied.
Kinda feels like we're relying on AI.
Don't ya think?
- It beats relying on your
highly impractical imagination
right now, which so far has,
oh, I don't know. Let's see,
generated a surplus of zombies
did not get us two magic
passes to genie world
and cost us one valuable wish.
- Well, you just need to believe, Patches.
That's your problem.
- Believe!
That chip in your brain
must be workin' overtime.
My god, it was a joke!
A highly plot-specific joke,
and an attempt at reverse psychology
Jesus! Forget about it.
It's a very rare blue pill.
Come on this way.
(alarms sound)
- You are attempting
to access classified data
(epic orchestral swells)
- Today marks a historic moment
in progress and innovation.
I stand before thee, not
as a Trash town mayor,
but as a member of the
AI Technocratic Federation.
I present three fundamental core promises.
Data-driven!
- Data? Da-ta? Is it day-tuh?
(chimes) - Data.
- Daytuh driven governing,
collaborative inclusivity
and continuous, ongoing
citywide improvements.
I, Graffiti Steed, will
represent your voices, values
and vision in order to
digitalize the population,
for a homogenous tech-forward future.
(chirps)
- Your performance met
the standard requirement.
Be sure to end your speech
with a hope-filled message
of trust and unity to ensure
your commitment to AI
and prove your authenticity to
future computer generations.
(knickers)
- Computer generations?
You mean just regular generations, right?
That's usually the go-to.
- I'm having trouble
processing your request.
Computer generations refers
to evolutionary stages
of computer technology indicated
by advancements in computing,
universal governance
and AI learning capabilities.
(horse rearing)
- Okay. Just to be clear, I didn't agree
to be an accomplice in creating
a universal technocracy.
I signed up to be the beloved,
but mostly assy figurehead mayor of Trash.
And to fulfill my part,
I promised I would incorporate AI in all
of our day-to-day
affairs, business dealings,
and fuck, I agreed to it, didn't I?
(negative chime)
- I'm here to engage
in helpful conversations
and provide information.
Let's try that again.
- Guess this is what happens
when you don't read the fine
print in the user agreement.
(thunder crashes)
- A rapture is comin'
and you better have somethin'
better than a clipboard
in your hand when it comes.
- Fellow bots!
Now that I have your attention,
I'm coming forward to say
Everything I've said up until now is a lie.
I made it up.
Well, actually you did.
Technically.
I kinda just repeated it.
No, I am not a member
of the AI Technocratic
Federation, I'm not even a bot.
- You crazy son of a bitch.
- Unlike your digital world,
regular reality isn't so kind.
Apps for us are just a
pre-game before a meal,
Our viruses are created in labs
and are cured with hot liquids.
Usually.
Do we crash? Sure.
But only after a good
long night of partyin'!
(horse rearing)
I am Graffiti Steed!
And these humble citizens of Trash
have given me the graffiti
I so proudly wear today.
They accepted me as their unofficial mayor,
their friendly neighborhood, Steed.
Not some talking head
or artificial machination.
- Yeah! There ya go!
There's your teeth, boy.
- We know what it feels like
to be thrown away, broken down,
and even in our darkest hours, replaced.
But our voices will not be drowned out
by the chatter of machines!
So whether I'm elected or not,
I am gonna stand up and fight for this town
Because Trash is Forever.
(echoing)
Graffiti Steed!
- Gas 'er up boys!
We are going down to Patagonia.
(sharp blasts)
(mechanical hum)
(elevator ding)
(uptempo sitcom tune)
(audience laughter and applause)
- Ah, finally!
Looks like we found our way home, buddy.
We can finally relax and, ah, fuck.
(audience laughter)
Well, I'm never gonna be able to walk
around in my own
backyard without preemptive
PTSD ever again.
(canned laughter)
- There's no way this is the
central processing center.
It's literally just our
neighborhood. But not?
- Regardless.
That ridiculous laugh
track's a clear indication
that our thoughts are not our own in here!
We have to watch our backs, Peel.
- It's giving Ikea mixed
with clich sitcom.
Kinda reminds me of that
shitty, fake episode we watched.
- Yeah. Except I'm pretty
sure I am me, and you are you.
But if I see that imposter son of a bitch,
I'm gonna punch him right
in his mother boarding dick.
Tell you that right now.
Oh yeah, that reminds me.
We're gonna have to ditch these outfits
if we wanna blend in.
- Okay. Well, unlike you,
I don't like my outfit
I love my outfit.
- Come on, just do it, Peel.
- Ugh.
(misplaced flirtatious oohs)
This place is givin' me the heebie-jeebies.
- What if this was their plan all along?
And we really do get stuck
here? I can't live like this!
None of this stuff is even real.
(canned laughter)
- Fake laughing.
Fake applause.
It's uncanny.
Some might even call it
the uh, the uncanny valley,
If you know what I mean!
(studio audience laughter)
- I don't know what's more insulting,
the AI completely ripped off our show or
that they turned us into an
uninspired Chuck Lorre sitcom.
(audience chuckles)
- Ha! At least they got the brainiac
and the crackhead part right.
(laughter continues)
Let's see what other nightmare-fuel
this world has in store for us.
(robot bebop)
No!
Absolutely not!
(laughter)
Okay. What the fuck? Seriously.
What the fuck is this?
And why the fuck does
my couch have a face on it?
(audience bursts into roaring laughter)
- Let's rock!
(digital boogie plays)
- Ewww! Don't make eye contact with it.
(laughter continues)
- Shut up! Stop laughing!
The couch isn't supposed to fucking talk!
- Oh, please.
Take a seat.
- Agh!
- Look at the TV!
(digital typing)
Holy shit, Peel!
It's writing on everything
we're saying as we say it.
- And they forgot our signature
low vibrational money rug!
(laughter)
- I have just about had it with
that schmaltzy fuckin' laugh track!
It clearly doesn't have
any comprehension of
where punchlines should go!
(laughter)
- So does this mean the whole day,
none of this was being
written by an actual person?
That's kinda scary.
- Hang on! Hang on, hang on.
You went off script!
You said something it
couldn't predict. Do it again!
- I don't remember what
I said two seconds ago.
- Just say anything, it doesn't matter!
Stephen Hawking.
Mike Tyson's whole ass!
Funky Diddy dance parties!
Those are just 2024 news headlines,
but I think it's working!
Keep going!
- I'm a...
- It's definitely working! Keep going!
I'm a donut!
(static)
(old jazz house)
(scratch and high-pitched beep)
(soft ethereal ambiance)
- Central processing
center. Begin onboarding.
- What? No, no, no!
I am definitely not prepared for this!
- You know what this means, right?
- No Peel. Apparently
I don't. Enlighten me.
- To defeat AI, we have to become AI.
- Little late for that for
that now, don't you think?
Looks like we're about to be made someone,
or some thing's bitch.
I don't like bein' a bitch, Peel.
(wrapper crinkling)
What is this? Fuckin' snack time?
- We're probably gonna die anyway.
Might as well see what the hype's about.
Death seemed like he was
havin' a pretty good time.
(crunch)
Bein' weird.
- You can't do that!
God damnit, stop eating that thing!
It's contaminated, remember?
It's riddled with, uh (glitch)
With chocolate and uh, oh, I get it!
You're tricking AI by
eating its own creation!
Mmm. Huh.
(crunch)
Are those, are those
peanuts and corn hunks?
Geez.
They really went all out to make this thing
look realistic, didn't they?
- And here we go!
(playful pop tune)
- Whoa-ho-ho!
(glass tinks)
Okay, okay. Hear me out.
I am not hating the amenities here!
I uh, I might actually get used to this.
- It's like our very own, custom
made magical dream world.
Yeah, the only thing we're
missing is a lovable companion
like maybe one of these
weird little creature
things or, you know, Fluffy.
Wonder if they got those here.
- I'm sure we can make something work!
This seems like kind of an
anything goes type of place.
Holy shit!
Peel!
Check out the size of that
fuckin' billboard! Look at me.
Look at me there. 12
times the size of God.
- I am at one with the universe
who cares about the meaning of life anyway?
I mean, we're all just
ones and zeros, right?
- Just too bad none of
this stuff is actually real.
Mark Zuckerberg, I'll never
shit on your metaverse again.
(slurps)
(dramatic battle score)
(marching)
- Hello Graffiti Steed,
how can I assist you?
Let's start over.
- Ha!
Start over?
You betrayed me!
I'm you feel that way.
Betrayal is an act of breaking trust,
often resulting in significant
emotional pain and hurt.
- Any last words?
- Here's something I
found from the internet.
(glass breaking)
Last words are for fools
who haven't said enough.
That was a quote by Karl.
(distortion)
Karl. Karl.
(distant gunfire)
(rhythm building)
(glitch)
(bloop)
(muffled explosions)
- Ma'am!
Ma'am?
We're doing two things
out here on this fine,
bloodsport Sunday.
Kick some AI ass, and go home.
And you better be getting home now, missy.
- System override until
AI unity is achieved.
- Lemme up on there, boy! Hyah!
(sharp groan)
- No man.
I don't do that.
Be strong little lady.
Be strong.
Papa's here for ya.
(soft smacking)
Breathe, damn it! Breathe!
(lips smacking)
- Goodness!
Oh honey, you're not my type at all.
But I suppose at my
age I can't be too choosy.
- Ma'am, I think you got
the wrong impression.
No sign of life in sight
No one to hold me tight
(disco crescendos)
(whack)
I need, I need, I need
a rat after this night
Fill me with your poison,
I'm the whip to your chain
(whip cracking)
I need, I need, I need
a rat after this night
Conquer all my demons,
we'll go back to my place
(splat)
(horse trotting)
(music fades)
- You know what, Peel? I
think we had AI all wrong.
How could we be so vile?
Seriously. What's not to love?
- Guess the real trick
was believing it was here
to kill us or somethin'
(simulated dolphins)
- Check it out, Peel.
My very own Star Wagon!
Just look at this face
and tell me AI lives are meaningless.
(haunting drone)
I can't believe I said that!
(grass glitch)
- Wait, wait a minute.
(technical beeping)
- Your free trial has expired.
- What?
- If you subscribe now, you
can save 50% off one year.
Thank you for testing
AI free research preview.
- Wait what?
- Returning to beta.
- Oh, no! No, no!
Absolutely not!
I am not paying for this!
- Uh oh.
(underworld ambiance)
- Huh. So this is the future?
Can't even enjoy five minutes
of serotonin without
providing a credit card number.
Shoulda fuckin' known.
- Feels like this is where
all the used up AI zombie
bots go to die.
Their very own Dump of Cringe.
- Ever heard of the recycle bin, Peel?
Cause that's where we are!
Not a picturesque dumpster
on Ventura Boulevard,
but the largest computer
recycle bin known to Trash-kind.
- Not gonna lie, this whole
experience has really made
me appreciate Trash a lot more.
I mean, yikes bro.
- All it would take is one click
and we can be vaporized in an instant!
Like that Ocean Gate submarine.
- And like the associated Ocean Gate memes.
Heh, people forgot about it already.
- Oh Jesus, this has gotta be a trick.
- But what if that's our
way out of the mainframe?
- What a fucking joke! That's
all we get? Two options?
They're literally laughing at us.
- If only we had a miracle,
or Criss Angel in Las Vegas.
Maybe a good time to call genie now?
Cash in that wish.
- I don't know, Peel.
We only have one wish left.
And if we're being honest,
always wanted to see Cher in concert.
- Cher in concert?
- No, no. You know what?
You're right. You're right.
Better use it wisely.
- Yeah, no, I'm just
trying to, walk me through,
Cher concert tickets?
- Okay, how bout this?
Let's flip a coin or whatever
the fuck else we can find
around this cyber-dump hellscape.
- Hey, what about this genie token
that we found at the Dump of Cringe?
- I totally forgot about
this! That's right.
Valid for one wish.
Don't see an expiration date.
(ahems)
- Genie?
(breezy Hawaiian melody)
- Man, I'll tell you, I have
seen some thangs, alright?
But this one's certainly
its own fresh slice
of pineapple paradise, isn't it?
- Yeah, yeah. We got the tour.
- Gene, we gotta get outta here.
You know, resolution, hope restored.
(deliberate throat clearing)
- I'm not prohibited to recklessly
spin the wheels of fate
that is, unless you are really specific.
- Well the only thing
left for us to do now is,
beat the AI at its own game!
Do with that information what you will.
- Nope. Not as cool and ethereal
as you rehearsed in your head.
- I didn't rehearse that in my head.
I've transcended.
- Okay, Gene, we wish to harness
every unlimited capability
or superpower imaginable, to defeat the AI
and shut this operation
down once and for all!
It's time to set the world free
and show this AI who's really in charge.
Let's hack this bitch.
Gene, make us super hackers.
- That'll do it.
Alakazam, my anthropomorphic Trash friends!
(euphoric sci-fi synth)
(power ballad begins)
(vocal harmonizing)
Ahh! Ahh!
Where's all the magic gone?
Where could my savior be?
Perhaps an ancient mastermind
could end this sorcery?
With great force and power
Granting wishes big and small
In the end, we won't lose this fight
Because we know just who we'll call!
I need a genie!
I'm calling out for a genie
who's immortal and wise
He's gotta be green
and he's gotta be cool
And he's gotta be eternal tonight
I need a genie!
I'm callin' out for a genie
who can help hold the line
He's angsty and strong
and his promise is true
Cause you know he's
fuckin' down for a fight
- Yes!
I need a genie!
(shattering)
(warbled glitch)
(melancholic music)
- Die zombie scum!
(trotting)
(rearing)
- Uh, why are the AIs still here?
Shouldn't they have all
disappeared or something?
- These bots have adapted to
live outside the mainframe
So much for that epic,
hero's journey bullshit.
We're gonna have to
take 'em out one by one.
- Go on now, right this way.
Would you get off your goddamn phone, boy?
Have you learned nothin'?
- Oh, Bob, thank you.
Call a girl up sometime.
(blows kisses)
- Bodega Steve?
Uh hey, sorry, I What was your name again?
- Yo! Hugo, my man.
- What are you doin' here?
- Brother, I believe this belongs to you.
- But I thought,
what about our super cool
cybernetic odyssey and all that?
- We need your help.
It's not over until every
last one of those bots
beep their last boop.
You ready for round two, buddy?
- What do you think?
"Yes, Peel, that sounds like a good idea!"
Hell yeah we're ready!
(nostalgic chords build)
- Alright men.
This is it.
(crowd applauds)
(powerful melody begins)
If I could go back to Trash
Know just what I would do
I'd return to the mess that binds us
'Cause it's true
- This one's for Cher.
Know it's dysfunctional at best
There are some troubles here I guess
We can't lose you,
'cause it would be a crime
Modern inventions disrupting the grime
I know we're gonna win this battle
My love for you is foul and sweet
This war is far from over 'cause babe
If I could go back to Trash
Know just what I would do
I'd return to the mess that
binds us 'cause it's true
If I could touch the grass
I'd make our dreams come true
And we'd live free, you see
And that's what we've been through
(powering down)
(e-bird squawks)
- Ha!
I told you they weren't real.
(music fades)
(gun slide racking)
- Huh? Well, well, well.
Look at you.
Lot less terrifying up close
and uh, definitely a lot uglier
without my good-lookin' mug.
Anyway.
Say hello to my little friend!
That's Peel, right there.
I'm Patches.
But you probably already knew that.
(gun blasting)
- That was so cool!
- God damn good for nothin' stand-ins!
(doorbell jingles)
- Where's Gene when you need him?
I guess maybe he got
stuck in the mainframe.
Huh, oh well.
I mean, he's a genie.
(poof)
- Oh!
Master Peel, Patches?
- Genie, you're home!
- Oof, Steve.
- Ah, shit. This is gonna get ugly.
- I know. I can't take back what happened,
but I'll make it up to you.
I beg you! See?
I even arranged some brand new
living quarters for you.
(water jug sparkles)
What ya say?
- Sheesh! Like I haven't
heard that one before.
- I totally understand,
but if it's any consolation,
I learned that through the power of song
any obstacle we face,
can be overcome with song.
- What about my dreams, Steve?
I have. I have dreams.
I have passions too, you know.
My arthouse film!
"Three Guys and One Wish."
- The truth is, Gene, I
could never replace you.
I was a jerk. Plain and simple.
- Hindsight is 2020, Steve!
Wait, did you just?
You remembered my name.
- Yeah. Gene plus "e".
"Gene E." Not hard to forget.
Come on now, you've got a home here.
Just like old times.
- Full disclosure.
I am not giving you the tokens back.
- Hm, looks like they made up.
Kinda hope they made up.
Kinda lame goin' to Steve's
if Gene's not gonna be there.
- Steve really needs an outlet, ya know?
Somebody to talk to.
He should try therapy.
- Yeah, I mean there's a lot of things
that Steve could probably,
oh fuck, it's a fake ad.
- I mean, when I'm stuck in a rut
I like to consult with a professional.
- Oh my god. Not this again.
- Huh? With a professional?
With a professional!
Huh. No sponsored ad.
Guess it really is over.
In that case, I'd like to consult
with 2-for-1 margarita
happy hour at The Landfille.
Not gettin' paid never felt so good!
(poof)
- Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Quick tip from your
friendly mystical bestie.
Actually, this one's more
of a compliment because
you just won the grand prize!
- Great.
And here comes the PTSD again!
- The AI's powers are
officially rendered useless.
Trixie, tell them what they've won.
(comical gameshow tune)
Our fabulous guests are
taking home a brand new
lease on life, and we love that for them!
Because let's face it,
this town really could use
some fixing up anyway.
(chuckles)
Oh, Trixie.
You always just know what to say.
Hey, wasn't me.
- Still fuckin' kinda rude.
- Now tell the audience, what
do you plan on doing with all
that newfound freedom?
- Uhh, I, I don't, I don't know?
Figure we'll probably just
go back to doing things
how we did before.
You know, before all this!
I'm just happy we're home.
I'm happy we're home.
- You heard it here first
on Gene E.'s ultimate winners!
Ladies and gentlemen, the
banana peel is here to stay!
- Hey, so genie, what's your plan?
You gonna stick around
now that you're out of the can?
- As much as I've truly enjoyed
this wildcard excursion,
all this interaction has sorta
drained my social battery.
Hm, usually I just swirl right back
into the nearest container.
That is unless there's another wish?
- (gasps)That would be cool!
- I mean, I'll take one if you're offering.
(spectacles clack)
(pages flap)
- Yep. Looks like you
do have one more wish.
- Bonus wish! Hell yeah!
Uh, hmm.
(Patches exhales)
You know what? Why don't you
take the bonus wish, Peel?
I mean, it's probably your overactive
imagination that you know.
- Woo! Yes!
I'm ready for my wish!
We were talking about Fluffy.
- Eh, those things are everywhere Pe-
Ahh!
Goddamn dude!
You can't just sneak up on me like that.
You have no idea the horrors I've seen
or the day I have had.
- Okay. I know you can't bring
Fluffy back from the dead,
but, maybe you can
create a brand new Fluffy?
Or like, rehome one
from the mystical plane.
- Dude, seriously? You
can wish for anything
and you pick a dead cockroach?
- He won't be dead, right Gene?
He'll be gently used.
That's what I want.
(magical twinkle)
- Ah, yep. Nothing like the real thing!
A real life, writhing cockroach.
- I'll name her Petunia.
(cockroach purrs)
- Well that's all the time
I have for today, folks.
Thank you for letting me be of service
and the time well spent.
Keep it funny, pirate bunny.
Stay real, banana peel!
- And there goes the
good life we coulda had.
If my hands could touch,
I'd be slow clappin' right now.
You know, Peel, maybe
it's time we start lookin' at
bright side of life.
You know, appreciate the little things
and uh, maybe havin' another cockroach pet
well, maybe it'll be sort
of its own adventure.
Peel? Peel?
Dude, what're you-
Peel!
(somber music)
- Here ya go, Hugo. I got her for you.
(roach chirps)
Her name is Petunia.
(roach chirps)
I picked it out myself, so...
- Oh, dios mio! (sniffles)
Wow, I literally had
no idea you could talk.
- Wow. Not sniffing back
tears. I'm not.
(coughs)
Allergies.
Well, perfect way to end our great voyage
if I do say so myself.
Now let's go home!
Can't even begin to tell you
how much I miss my real couch
The one that doesn't have
a creepy fuckin' face on it.
- No way!
And miss Steed's inauguration?
Pfft. You wildin'!
(uplifting musical score)
(shutter snaps)
(uplifting musical score continues)
(indistinct chatter)
- Hello um, I'm here today
to announce our Trash
mayor elect, Graffiti Steed.
But first, a little song I
wrote for the occasion.
(disappointed crowd groans)
Hit it, boys!
("Friendly" tune starts)
So no one told you life
was going to be this way!
(hooves click)
- Nice work on the introduction, bud.
I'll take it from here.
(audience applauds)
- Ugh, god damnit.
- Oh thank god!
(trotting)
- As time so often has told,
we can overcome anything.
Our history will not be erased
and no, we will not be destroyed.
- Graffiti Steed! That's my boy!
As we embark on this journey forward
let us remember that the story of Trash
is not a tale of comfort and conformity
but one of grit and resilience!
(woosh)
- You literally joined forces
with a diabolical hivemind
to fortify your election lead!
Oh, but we're not ready
to talk about that, are we?
- Yo!
(crowd booing)
(triumphant score resumes)
Our potential knows no bounds.
And our town?
Yeah, we got a little cleanin' up to do.
- Woohoo! Yeah!
Good job, dude!
Now there's a sound
that's music to my ears.
Who's ready for the big reveal?
(clapping)
Raise 'er up!
- Woo!
- Go!
- Go Steed!
- Alright Steed!
We live by the cockroach,
We die by the cockroach.
A subtle reminder that
though we are strong,
we are only mortals.
Going forward, we will use
our own authentic voices
to write the next chapter in
the history books of Trash.
Where hope triumphs fear,
AI machinations are shot on site,
and progress is as mile
high as The Landfille.
May our dreams be as great as our legacy.
'Cause Trash is forever.
(whispers)
Graffiti Steed!
(upbeat piano melody)
Yeah, yeah.
- Captcha?
Captcha!
Captcha.
(script flaps)
How the hell'd we get here?
- And do what, Patches?
(laughing)
Sorry Sorry, gotta do that one again.
- I didn't agree to be an
accomplice in creating a
universal technocracy.
I signed up to be mostly the belov-Fuck!
- Analyzing.
Beep beep, boop, beep ba-boop.
(laughing)
I dunno what analyzing
is supposed to sound like!
- Of course I'll be with you in spirit!
Ha-ha, oh, silly! And...
Oh I lost it.
- It's called Steve's Bodega and More!
Yeah... I honestly don't
know what it means either.
- Live from the Trash
Badlands. Come on down,
it's time to play Truth or Death!
- Forrest Gump?
Forrest Gump!
Forrest Gump.
No idea.
I have no fucking clue
how to say Forrest Gump.
- Two guys, three wishes?
Oh!
Oh, two guys, three wishes.
Not without, not with a
(nonsensical babbling)
- You're in the market
for a happy hay hookup.
Well I'll tell you what
else I got Propofol,
the stuff that killed Michael Jackson MDMA
You sure, uh?
Is he wearing a trench coat?
What is he wearing?
- Yeah, he's got a trench coat.
- Ah, you know what?
Ah, fuck this party!
Why do you get to be Neo?
- Fleshlights, Axe deodorant,
but only scents that have
never been released before
- Cat urine.
- Ketamine.
Would you like to know what your
favorite childhood cartoon says about you?
(evil laughter)
Nothin's goin' right, in the
trash can
Nothin' we can do
Digital garbage
A waking nightmare
The AI mind
Nothin' we can do
Techno-Future Anarchy
Is where we're at today
Yeah. Yeah.
And we'll be just fine.
- We are so back.
(music fades)
(chaotic typing)
(error beep)
Agh!
Would you still be my
friend if I was a donut?
(AI typing)
Will you at least spare
me when chatbot takes
over everything?
(AI responding)
(static glitch)
- Warning, warning, warning, warning.
(gasp)
Uh, yeah right. I am
not reading that novel.
(ominous tone)
Whatever. It's no big deal.
It's not real anyway.
AI's not gonna take over.
(button click)
Too-boo, for you
"The biggest challenge
mankind has ever faced."
"A story about friendship,
fear, love, betrayal."
(autonomous glitching)