Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties (2006) Movie Script
[drumroll]
[rousing orchestral
fanfare playing]
[fanfare ends]
[birds squawking]
[wind blowing]
[grand, royal orchestral
theme playing]
NARRATOR:
Once upon a time,
in an English castle
far, far away,
there lived a pampered
personage by the name of...
-[yawning]
...Prince.
[bell ringing]
All right,
everyone, he's awake.
Hurry! Hurry!
Come along, quickly.
Right, are we all ready?
Get the Carlyle log.
NARRATOR:
Prince knew no other life
than a life of luxury.
Oh, did I mention
that Prince was a cat?
Good morning, Prince.
[yawning, groaning]
Your tea.
[British accent]:
Mm-hmm-hmm! Breakie.
I have your favorite dish.
Carlyle log.
Ah, lovely.
[slurping, smacking]
[moaning]
[chuckling]
Super.
Oh, it's good to be the king.
NARRATOR:
On the other side of the world,
there lived
an equally pampered cat
who thought he was a king,
but who ruled over
a somewhat smaller domain.
Meow.
[grunting]
I'm the king of the cul-de-sac.
That's what I'm talking about.
Jon and I have everything
I could ever want.
Food in the fridge.
Cable and satellite.
And don't forget lasagna.
That's right.
It's good to be king.
I want you to know, you're the
most important thing in my life.
Let me sleep, please.
Before I met you,
my life had no meaning.
I was incomplete.
Oh, you still are, really.
I guess what I'm
trying to say is...
...will you marry me?
Eh? Marriage?
Well, this is kind of sudden.
There may be
some legal issues here.
Look, I like you,
but not as a spouse.
Maybe as a servant, we could
stay together, make it work.
So what do you say... Liz?
-Wait a second. Liz? Liz?
-Garfield.
Liz is a girl.
No, worse.
She's a girl vet.
-[bell dings]
-Turkey's ready.
Well, I think
Jon has touched bottom now.
Hmm, we gotta put an end
to this torture.
[romantic music playing]
Time for a new DJ.
[stereo blasts]
[singing]
Somebody take my temperature.
Garfield!
[stutters]
Whoa!
[music stops]
Man, you have changed.
I can't have you messing
this up for me, okay?
-Oh, I get it. It's her.
-Come here.
She doesn't like our music.
Whatever happened to Jon?
-My metal-head guy. My dude.
-[doorbell chimes]
You were so much cooler
when you wore a mullet.
Now stay here.
-So much cooler.
-[doorbell chimes]
I suppose she likes
this haircut.
I suppose she likes
this haircut.
-Coming!
-Tell me she likes it the way it is now.
-Hey, Liz.
-Jon, I have incredible news.
Guess who's going to be
speaking at this year's fund-raiser
for the Royal Animal
Conservancy.
Siegfried and Roy?
-Oh, come on.
-Just Siegfried?
Jane Goodall dropped out
at the last minute
because she's nursing
a sick chimp
and they asked me.
I mean, it's gonna be at
this really cool castle
on a huge estate.
Well, Liz, that-that's...
I am flying to London
tomorrow morning.
-Can you believe it?
-What?
I mean, I have
to pack, and...
Oh, are these rose
petals and candles?
Yeah, well, Liz,
I have some...
some important news
of-of-of my own.
Uh...
GARFIELD:
Hey, me, too.
[clears throat]
Excuse me, do you believe
in love at first sight?
I was hoping you'd say yes.
You have made me
so very, very cat-happy.
-Uh...
-Well, come on.
-What's the news?
-The news is, I, uh...
I finally house-trained Odie.
-Really?
-Yeah.
That would explain
the rose petals.
I have to pack.
I'm so sorry
about dinner.
But you know what?
I will send your
regards to the queen.
Okay, congratulations
on Odie.
Oh, oh, yeah.
And, hey, you, too.
They're lucky to have you.
[kisses]
Bye.
Oh, I thought she'd never leave.
Garfield, you ate
the whole turkey?
Well, yeah.
What are you
doing with this?
Oh, never mind.
It's too late.
She's already off to...
[belches] Ooh!
Good stuffing.
Well, come on, cheer up.
-I saved you the wishbone.
-There's nothing I can do.
Sure there is.
Return the ring and
get your money back.
Wait a minute.
I'll go to London.
-Oh, you poor sap.
-She'll love it.
-She'll be surprised.
-Please don't do this.
-She'll be thrilled.
-Tell me you're not gonna do this.
-She'll say yes.
-Please, don't.
I gotta go pack.
You moron.
This is a huge mistake, Jon.
One of your biggest.
Don't roam. Stay home.
Odie and I are not just coming
along for the ride, pal.
This is actually
an intervention.
JON:
Okay, guys. Here we are.
[yawning]:
Oh, quick flight.
We must have been
in the jet stream.
England is no great shakes, huh?
I mean, the buildings here look
like, uh, the kennel back home.
That is the kennel back home.
They'll never take me alive.
They're gonna
be fine, Jon.
Yeah, yeah.
Garfield's never stayed
in a kennel before,
so I'm afraid
he might have
some separation anxiety.
No.
He's probably fast asleep
in his cage by now.
You hear me, warden?!
I have the right
to remain silent!
Anything I say can and
will be held against me
in a court of law!
And I have the right
to an attorney, too, pal!
And if I can't afford one,
one must be provided for me
by the court!
Never mind!
I just broke out.
He likes a belly rub
twice a day.
And, oh, if you
could give him
a pan of lasagna
between each meal,
that would be great.
Oh, almost forgot Pooky.
Can't be
without Pooky.
[barks]
Oh, great. Just when
things were looking up.
Look, why don't
you stay here
and get your
fleas removed,
maybe get a brain transplant?
[barks]
Okay, go away. Beat it.
Hide beneath the wheels.
Agh! You're
ripping my fur!
Aah! Get off! Get off!
Get off! Get off!
Get in here!
Get in! Get in!
Okay, so you have
my cell phone
and you have
the hotel number.
-Don't worry, I do. Bye now.
-Okay.
GARFIELD:
Airport, and step on it.
Jon won't mind if I repack him.
We're gonna need
some room in this bag.
[humming]
[quacking]
[quacking]
[humming, screams]
Aah! You savage beast,
how dare you!
Get out of here!
Smithee!
There's something
in the pool! Smithee!
There's a duck in my pool,
Smithee.
A duck!
A duck, sir?
Filthy wild animal
soaking itself in my pool.
What do you intend
doing about this?
I shall speak
to the duck, sir?
Mmm.
[squeaking]
Oh, by the way,
the solicitors are here
for the reading
of Lady Eleanor's will.
Excellent.
In a few moments,
I'll be the master
of this entire estate.
And from this day on,
things will be done my way.
[quacking]
MAN:
This is the last will and testament
of Lady Eleanor Carlyle
of Carlyle Castle.
"I declare this to be my last
will and testament,
which I make,
this first day of September"...
Keep still.
They're reading Lady Eleanor's will.
I've got a bad feeling
about this.
I can't watch.
If Lord Dargis gets the estate,
we're done for.
We're doomed!
Shh! Quiet.
"To my devoted Smithee,
"I make thee caretaker
of my estate.
"Care for my beloved
animal friends
"as you have in the past
and you will always have
a home at Carlyle Castle."
Thank you, Madame.
She's dead, Smithee.
You can stop sucking up.
"The rest of my
worldly possessions,
"my castle
and surrounding grounds,
I leave to the love of my life,
somebody who was like
a son to me..."
Thank you, Aunt Eleanor.
Oh, thank you.
Please let me finish,
Mr. Dargis.
I'm sorry. I always get
a little ahead of myself.
"I leave all my worldly possessions
to my beloved kitty,
Prince the 12th."
-That's incredible.
-Oh, my word.
Entirely without
precedent.
This is what it says.
But I'm her nephew,
her only heir.
She can't have left it all
to a cat.
I, Prince,
the new lord of the castle?
[cheering]
Good show, Lady Eleanor.
Oh, bless her heart.
Can it be?
We are delivered.
Thank you, Winston.
The will clearly states
that you may stay on
at Carlyle Castle and
receive your usual stipend
of, uh...
-Fifty pounds?!
-Upon Prince's passing,
after what we assume will
be a long and happy life,
you will receive
the castle, the land
and your title.
But that fat ball of fur
could last for another 15 years!
Let us hope so.
The castle was built
over 600 years ago
by Lord Franklin Carlyle.
Now, the initial structure
is late medieval in style...
MAN:
In the west wing, we'll put the pool and spa.
Yes, and where would
the squash courts be?
Oh, there he is!
-That's unbelievable.
-Oh, hello.
Snap your photos. Unfortunately,
I can but spare a few moments...
Hey, buddy, do you
mind stepping aside?
I can't get a good
shot of the cat.
Greetings, all.
Hello.
So glad.
So very, very glad.
May I remind you
this is private property?
Oh, relax, bro, it's not
like you own the place.
We shall see.
[quacking fanfare]
To all the royal
subjects,
I give you the new possessor
of Carlyle Castle:
Prince the 12th!
PRINCE:
To one and all,
I pledge, from this day forward,
to rule my kingdom
with wisdom and valor.
And as long as I reign,
you shall continue
to have safe haven
here on the bountiful grounds
of Carlyle.
Thank you. That is all.
ANI MALS:
Hip-hip hooray!
Long live Prince!
I think that went
frightfully well.
Don't you, Winny?
Sire, I hasten to remind you
that Lord Dargis has every
reason to get rid of you.
Oh, Winny, pooh-pooh.
I'm his favorite kitty-cat.
[grand royal theme playing]
[record needle scratches]
Hello, little Prince.
What a beautiful day
for a picnic, of course.
Oh, no, thanks, old boy.
You just run along
and enjoy yourself.
Hey! What the devil...?!
So it's hide-and-seek
you want to play.
All right,
I'll count to 100.
-[barking]
-Hello, Rommel.
...three, four, five...
...35, 36, 37, 38...
...96, 97, 98, 99, 100.
All right, fair warning.
Ready or not, here I come...
[Prince yells]
Bon voyage, Prince.
[chuckles]
Oh, dear me.
I may have misjudged
the old boy.
Perhaps he is somewhat
of a scoundrel.
After all, this is not the way
one plays hide-and-seek.
[crow cawing]
[rock music plays]
[group singing]
[singing continues]
[singing ends]
Oh, blimey.
[sighs heavily]
Will that
be all, sir?
Oh, yes, thank you.
Uh... thank you.
Thank you, sir.
Oh, wait, wait,
wait, wait, um...
how do I look?
Lovely, sir?
No, see, I'm proposing
to my girlfriend.
She's staying
just down the hall.
I want to make sure I look...
Well, let's see now.
It needs a certain...
Ah!
May I, sir?
There we are.
-Hugh Grant.
-Great.
Uh, oh, could you deliver this
to the girl in room 407?
Of course, sir.
Oh, and, uh...
and this.
Cary Grant, sir.
[knocking]
Jon?
Hey!
But, what are you doing here?
Well, it's just Fashion Week.
Where else would I be?
This is incredible.
I cannot believe
that you're here.
So you're glad?
Glad? I'm thrilled.
But London?
I mean, did you come all
the way here just for me?
Yeah, it's nuts.
In fact, I, uh...
I want us to be together, uh...
LIZ:
Odie!
Come here!
[laughing]:
Oh, yeah.
[gasping]:
Air... water... lasagna.
Garfield?
That's the hello I get?
with a farting dog?
Ooh, you know, they have
quarantine laws here.
Don't let Odie
out of your sight.
They might deport him.
Deport Odie?
Oh, I like this country already.
Oops!
[grunts]
Okay, I'm gonna need
a litter box,
a room service menu
and the TV remote,
and in that order.
Anyone needs me,
I'll be in my office.
Where are my clothes?
Cool.
My very own cat tub.
[water splashing]
[spitting]
Gol-lee!
[cawing]
[caws echo]
NIGEL [echoes]:
Got it.
Could have just come down
and told me that, couldn't he?
All right. Listen up! Listen up!
Farmyard news flash!
I've got some good news
and some bad news.
Which would you
like to hear first?
ANI MALS:
The bad news.
Lord Dargis just threw
Prince in the river.
[concerned exclamations]
Okay, give me the good news.
He was
in a lovely picnic basket.
[animals exclaiming]
If he throws us in the river,
we'll never survive.
-You're ducks; you can swim.
-Oh.
Winston, I'm next in line
for the throne.
Uh-oh. This could get ugly.
I have here a list of new rules
of governance.
WI NSTON:
Preston, I hardly think that's necessary...
Rule Number One:
The barnyard animals congregate
entirely too close
to the castle.
We house pets need our space.
Oh, you've got enough space,
laddie,
right between your ears.
-[animals laugh]
-You take that back!
I command you, as your new king.
Look, there's still a chance
Prince may find
his way back here.
In the meantime, Claudius,
you get into the castle
and find out
what Dargis is up to.
I'm on it.
I'm your mouse on the inside.
I'll see
what I can learn from my end.
[traffic passing]
[Liz laughing]
I want to do something
more cultural.
Okay, all right...
You're cold.
[barking]
Getting colder.
You're an icicle.
You're frozen stiff.
Let's remind ourselves
what we're looking for.
It's a hamburger.
-A squeaky hamburger.
-[squeaking]
We take a walk
through Hyde Park...
Excuse me? We "walk"?!
Then we stroll down
the incredibly cultural
Piccadilly.
[laughs]
"Stroll"?
And then, boom
Carnaby Street.
Aren't we about 40 years
too late for Carnaby Street?
[British accent]:
No, luv.
That's where
all the swingin' birds are.
Oh. Well, then we
are definitely
going to the British
Museum.
[gags]
Any cuter, I'm gonna need
a barf bag.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What are you doing?
-I'm security, pal.
-[Odie barks]
Just protecting you
from yourself.
Garfield, you have caused
enough trouble today.
Now you have food,
water and company.
Which one is he?
-Be good.
-Jon, you're delirious.
Be careful!
She's a man-eater!
Oh, no. He's under her spell.
[barks]
Okay, Odie,
I'll give you one small clue.
It's not in there!
Prince!
[sighs]
Where is that cat?
Prince!
Prince!
Prince!
Prince!
[gunshot]
Prince!
Pull!
[gunshot]
Sir, have you,
by any chance, seen Prince?
I can't seem to
find him anywhere.
Oh... dear!
You mean our little orange
bundle of fun is missing?
Pull!
[gunshot]
-Crikey!
-[gasps]
The man's got a cannon!
And he's pointing it at us!
We're sitting ducks!
Careful, sir.
You wouldn't
want to injure
the creatures,
would you?
Run away!
Of course not.
That would make me
some kind of monster,
wouldn't it?
By the way, Smithee,
I've a little errand
for you.
Could you go to London
and pick up my new suits
at Willoughby's?
Oh, very good, sir.
Pull!
[announcer speaking
indistinctly on TV]
Can you imagine
taking a nap on that table?
Just lie there
for hours and shed.
In other news today, the
queen's corgis, Milly and Tillie,
returned from their world
cruise with the queen,
aboard Her Majesty's yacht.
The animals are said
to have suffered
a mild seasickness,
but now are back to eating
the finest calf's liver.
Oh, boy.
Must be sweet.
"My tummy's upset.
May I have some liver?"
Boy, I wish Jon was a queen.
-[knocking]
-MAI D: Housekeeping.
Okay, blockhead, time
to bust out of here
and catch up with Jon.
First, let's
grab some chow,
before I eat your liver
with some fava beans
and a nice Chianti.
Sorry, we left
a bit of a mess
in the bathroom.
Thanks.
All right,
keep your eyes peeled
for a goofy-looking
guy with a map.
They're not up here.
I'm coming down!
GARFIELD:
Hup, hup, hup, hup!
Hee-yah!
Jon? Jon? Jon?
Where's Waldo?
Take the picture.
Take the picture.
Take it! Take it!
Take the picture!
[guard shouts an order]
GUARD:
Halt!
Right face!
GARFIELD:
Excuse me.
Did you see
a couple of people
who look like
they might be tourists?
Oh, I know this drill.
They won't crack up,
no matter what you do.
Hey, Freeze-Frame,
your knee's on fire.
Hmm. I know
I can get this guy.
No, seriously,
your zipper's down.
Hey, Dry Goods.
[blubbering]
Yeah.
Anybody ever tell you
you look like Tina Turner?
That was effective.
COACHMAN:
Her Majesty, the Queen of England!
GARFIELD:
What's all the hubbub?
GUARD:
Attention!
Hey, Odie, look,
it's those royal corgis.
Hey, lady,
you got any leftover liver?
Stuck-up little punk.
Oh, I know she heard us.
They had the top down.
Odie? Odie?
D'uh-oh! Odie, no!
Don't do the
ugly-American thing!
The British are coming!
The British are coming!
Well, you made him
crack anyway.
PRINCE:
Ew, disgusting!
It's so smelly down here.
I must get out.
Hello? Someone help a chap?
[grunting]
I'm in the sewer.
This is hopeless.
We'll never find Jon.
Face it, Odie:
Nobody cares
-whether we live or...
-[barking]
-[tires screeching]
-[screaming]
[sighs]
Prince, I've found you.
Oh, dear.
Why is it the weird ones
always go for the cat
and not the dog?
Odie, help, please.
-[whines]
-GARFIELD: Is that a cologne
or a disinfectant, sir?
I just got you
a special treat:
Minced pie.
Odie, call a cop.
I mean, bobby or jimmy.
Never mind, Odie.
Don't bother.
There's a pie here.
I'll be just fine.
[barking]
[barking continues]
[whining]
[groans]
Dear heavens!
That was absolutely
the most horrifying...
But I'm alive.
I'm alive!
And... covered in filth.
Here, here.
I must return to my throne.
-[barking]
-What, ho?
Oh, indeed.
Seeing me in this state
must be shocking.
I've lost my bearings.
You must lead me with all due
haste to the castle at Carlyle.
But first, I require a bath.
-[sneezes]
-Here, come on.
Do you expect me to lick myself?
Garfield?!
Odie? Wh... What
are you doing here?
Garfield?
What the devil is a Garfield?
What am I going to
do with you guys?
Do you know how
bad I would feel
if I lost you here?
From now on,
I'm not letting you
out of my sight, okay?
Oh, dear heaven.
Why is it
the weird ones
always go for the cat
and not the dog?
Oh! Bath time
for you, buddy.
Well, that's the best news
I've heard all day.
The dog's not
very bright, is he?
Where are you taking me?
Is it somewhere lovely?
Somewhere special?
Mmm!
Ah!
Hey, Mario Andretti.
You're drivin'
on the wrong side of the road,
and I've got an entire pie
in my stomach.
Don't worry, Prince.
You'll feel better when
we get back to Carlyle.
-[Rings]
-Oh, excuse me.
Yes, hello.
Hobbs here.
Ah, Hobbs,
this is Manfred Dargis here.
A terrible thing
has happened.
Prince is missing.
We've searched everywhere.
Prince is missing?
-BOTH: Missing?!
-This is a rather sudden
development,
-don't you think?
-Well, actually, it's quite common.
In the absence, or in this
case, the death of an owner,
it can be quite
confusing and disorienting
to a cat I mean,
let's face it, they have brains
the size of a gum ball.
-[Dargis laughing]
-All the same,
this seems
rather fishy to me.
I don't particularly care
what it seems to you.
Legally,
since he is gone,
the title of the Carlyle estate
falls to me.
Am I not correct?
Uh, yes, very well.
Good-bye.
He's up to something.
He's got some plan
for the estate,
and I want to find out what.
Ah, Miss Abby
Westminster, I presume.
[chuckling]:
Lord Dargis, an absolute pleasure.
Hello.
DARGIS:
I'm so pleased you've shown
such an interest in
our little enterprise.
Well, my investors
are very interested.
Cheers, dear.
To a long-lasting
business relationship.
To Carlyle
Resort and Spa.
Allow me to introduce
you to my dream.
What's this?
State-of-the-art spa,
meditation garden
and, of course,
luxury condominium.
[chuckles]
But what of the woodland
and barnyard areas?
Allow me.
If you would...
Oh. Very clever.
No woodland,
no barnyard area.
Whoosh gone!
So what will you do
with all the animals?
Let's just say
those we don't chase off,
we will serve up
to the guests.
[cackling]
I must alert the others
at once.
GARFIELD:
Bus driver, pull it over.
I got a pie belch coming
that might break your windows.
[loud belch]
[squawking]
Ah.
Come on, Prince.
Yeah, yeah,
I used to be known as Prince.
Now you can just call me
Ga...
...arfield.
Wow.
Get a load of this dump.
Thanks.
No pet door, huh?
Holy cow, I can
hear my footsteps.
Mom?! Dad?!
I'm home!
Your Highness.
You talking to me, froggy?
It's me,
your trusty servant,
-Winston.
-Hey.
Warning:
I don't fight fair.
I scratch, and I bite.
It's all right, sire.
All is well now.
You're home.
-Home?
-[chuckles]
What, retirement home?
Happy home?
Where, uh,
what is this?
Is this an insane asylum?
Am I being kidnapped?
[laughs]
Very funny, sire.
Your loyal subjects
await you.
They need to be comforted
by your words.
Hey, trust me,
windbag, there's no way
I'm going to give a speech
to a bunch of strangers.
And then, of course,
following your words,
a royal feast.
I think I'm just going to do
a tight two minutes.
See if that
will calm them down, okay?
Oyez!
Oyez!
Prince the 12th
has returned.
[quacking fanfare]
Thank you, windbag,
for that slobbering
introduction.
Hello, everybody!
GARFIELD:
Hey.
-Listen up.
-Ooh.
Is this an audience
or a landscape?
Okay. Great to
be back here
at the palace.
I look out and I see
a sea of dumb
barnyard animals.
I'm here in your country
to break up a romance
between, uh, you know,
the guy who owns the house
I live in and a girl who
is way out of his league.
I know that whatever it is
that you have,
there is some sort of affliction
that produces this glazed look
behind your eyes,
I hope you defeat it.
I wish I could take every one
of you home with me.
Thank you.
I killed.
WI NSTON:
Very funny, sire. Well done.
I didn't realize
it was amateur hour.
What's up with Prince?
Oh, he's on the catnip again.
Hold on, chaps!
Have I got news for you!
What's the word, Claudius?
Dargis is going to bulldoze
the barnyard
and feed us to the tourists.
Let him try.
He'll have to deal
with these fists of fury,
won't he, eh?
-Well, that's dreadful.
-[excited chattering]
Calm yourselves, everybody.
We're all right
as long as Prince is alive.
Well, obviously that feline is
not Prince, you idiots.
He's not even the cat
formerly known as Prince.
NIGEL:
He's right, you know.
Wait, he doesn't have to be
Prince.
He just has to
look like him.
If he fooled me,
he'll fool them.
But what's to stop Dargis from
getting rid of this cat, too?
McBunny is right.
We must protect this cat
at all costs.
Our fates rely on it.
JON:
Mr. And Mrs. Jon Arbuckle.
-Liz Arbuckle.
-[Prince grunting]
Elizabeth Arbuckle.
Yeah.
Listen, you dolt.
There's been a coup d'etat.
Attempted murder most foul.
I am Prince the 12th
of Carlyle.
You there, with the wise
and thoughtful look.
Hello.
Convince this man
there's been a mix-up.
JON:
Garfield, I want you to be in my wedding party.
Wedding party?!
Think you can hold a basket
of flowers in your mouth?
Enough with the grooming, you dunce.
My subjects face
mortal jeopardy.
Dog, approach.
We must plan my escape,
and I'm relying on your
expedience and cunning.
[Odie growling]
PRINCE:
Okeydokey.
New plan.
[Odie whimpers]
GARFIELD:
Call my pumpkin, windbag.
I'm ready to roll.
WI NSTON:
Roll? Where to?
You know,
to the hotel, to Jon.
Your master, the one who's
leaving you for his new wife?
He's not leaving me.
It's more of a...
temporary insanity thing.
Garfield, your master's
started a new life.
It's time
for you to begin yours.
Come on, I want to show
you something.
Do have any idea what runs
through your veins?
Yesterday's dinner,
I guess.
Royal blood, sire.
You are the long-lost heir
to the Carlyle throne.
[chuckling]
You kill me.
These are your ancestors,
dating back 400 years.
GARFIELD:
Mine?
Wow.
Like, I'm a royal cat?
Well, of course.
And anything you need is
only a flick of your tail away.
A flick of my tail, huh?
So, if I said, drool
on your foot...?
-[Winston panting]
-GARFIELD: Not bad.
How about roll over
and whistle "Dixie"?
[whistling]
How's that?
Nice. All right.
Tough one: Jump up
and touch the ceiling.
[grunting]:
How's that, sire?
You don't get up
there too high
there, do you, fella?
I give you your royal
bedchamber.
GARFIELD:
I could do some snoozing here, yeah.
Even a king needs a catnap.
Get up!
Get down.
Get up!
This baby is spring-loaded.
Why do you think
they call me...
[echoing]:
Highness...?
Are you all right? Sire?!
[grunts]
The royal trapeze?
That is how you ring, sire.
You pull it
whenever you require something.
-And what is that?
-Your playhouse.
Oh, I needed a playhouse.
I've got a house
inside of a house.
Does this castle make
my butt look a little too big?
Fits you like a glove.
[farts]
-Ooh! Blimey.
-Pardon.
Well struck, sire.
Good tone, smooth finish.
Well, you took that
in the best spirit, didn't you?
Shall we have a look
in the kitchen?
Did I hear you say...
the kitchen?
[overlapping conversations]
Here we are.
I present your cookery.
All mine?
Every morsel,
down to the last crumb.
Okay. All right.
You can just call me...
Your Highness.
[Garfield and animals singing]
[singing continues]
[singing continues]
[singing continues]
[singing ends]
Yeah, you can just drop
that anywhere.
[body thuds]
[tray clattering]
GARFIELD:
All right, I'll give it to you straight:
It's disappointing.
Your doughnuts are dry
and don't have
holes in them,
and your coffee's so weak,
it looks like tea.
I don't suppose,
Miss Westminster,
you could find time
in your busy life
for a wealthy duke.
[giggling]
Lord Dargis,
I'm afraid I'm taken.
As I am myself...
by you.
[laughs]
Oh, don't mind me.
I'm just an
incorrigible old...
-Cat!
-What?
Nothing, nothing.
Nothing at all,
nothing at all.
Gosh, is that
the time already?
Time, I've
always said,
flies like an arrow.
Don't be afraid
to just show up
and bring some
of those investors
those lovely investors.
We'll throw a party.
Cheerio!
Ah... Smithee, d-did
I see Prince in here?
Isn't it remarkable?
I found him wandering
the streets of London
as I left Willoughby's.
Indeed.
Extraordinary.
And where is
the little fiend...
[clears throat]:
Fellow at the moment?
Oh, I'm sure
I don't know, sir.
Well, I'll maybe take
a little look-see, hmm?
Make him welcome.
Yes, sir.
Look at this room,
for example.
Uh... how would you
liven this place up?
But, sire, this castle
is centuries old.
GARFIELD:
It's a museum.
It's boring.
And you know what's missing
when your crib is a museum?
It's called fun!
Fun?
It's not that hard.
You got to get
a running start
at something
this dull.
Who-o-o-o-o-o-a!
This is gonna end so badly.
[screaming]
Oops.
It was already cracked.
[laughs]:
Nothing escapes you,
does it, sire?
Yeah. I like
the way this feels.
You just slide, baby!
Whoa...!
D'uh-oh!
Don't worry about it.
That one was cracked as well.
Oh, I can relax.
Oops!
What the...? Ooh! Oof!
Smithee!
Get this thing off of me!
All right, let's go try
another room.
Good idea, sire.
MR. HOBBS [on phone]:
Yes, yes.
I've got the deed and
the paperwork in order,
and I've contacted
the other solicitors.
We'll be out there on Monday.
Monday?
But... but I need more time.
More time?
More time for what?
Oh... n-n-nothing. Nothing.
That'll-that'll be fine.
Oh, very well,
we'll be there Monday,
unless, by some miracle,
Prince returns.
We can only hope, Mr. Hobbs.
[screaming]
What's the news?
Dargis is sure to make a move
on the cat.
The solicitors
will be here Monday.
Right. Good work.
GARFIELD:
Careful.
That's high-grade
American cardboard
you're tossing
around there.
Beautiful, fellas.
Hang the plasma
right over the
Slip 'N Slide.
Sire, a word.
Jowls, my man.
Guess what your
enlightened,
all-powerful ruler
has brought
to the castle?
Oh, I can't wait to hear this.
Don't tell me.
A Renaissance painting.
Foosball, you know?
Foosball!
F-F-F-Foosball?
What does he think this is,
a pub?
Just because we don't
have opposable thumbs
doesn't mean we
don't play bar games.
Yes, sire, but I feel
your life is in danger.
Listen, Winnebago
if I may call you that
when history
speaks of me,
and she will, I want
to be remembered
as the "Party Prince."
As you wish.
You chaps know me
I'm no snob.
Right? But this cat is too much.
[scoffs]:
He's an embarrassment to our whole way of life.
Oh, he's a disgrace
to the furry race.
"My pillow isn't soft enough.
My TV remote won't work."
Don't get your knickers
in a twist.
I know he's a pain in the neck,
but we just got to keep him
safe till Monday.
[quacking fanfare]
GARFIELD:
Yeah. My loyal
and fragrant subjects, please.
Thank you.
Briefly, I
hate Mondays.
Just hate 'em.
Therefore, I decree,
from this day forward,
there will be no more Mondays.
-What?
-What?
Got it? Today is Tuesday, then.
Happy Tuesday, everybody.
Yeah, I think he's lost it.
Like I said,
we just got to keep him safe
till Tuesday.
Hello, Rommel.
Ah-ha-ha!
I have a present for you.
Prince's favorite pillow.
[barking, snarling]
Sniffy, sniffy, Rommel.
Sniffy, sniffy.
Ooh, bad pillow. Ooh!
Kill kitty.
Kill kitty.
[snickering]
Oh, what a clever boy.
Eat the cat.
Yum, yum, yum.
I think you're ready.
Uh-oh, here comes trouble.
Eat the pussycat.
There's a good chap.
Operation Feline Protection
under way.
I'm on it. Hoo-hoo!
Yeah, yeah.
[barking]
Oops.
Bon apptit.
Here, kitty, kitty.
Come to Rommel.
Where are you,
my little furry friend?
Hello, Rommel.
Eat kitty.
No, no kitty, Rommel.
But we have something
better to chew on.
No kitty?
That's right: No kitty.
Bring Lord Dargis's
new trousers, please.
Pig, the trousers!
Uh, trousers.
Thank you, Sam.
And now, Rommel,
how about
a nice tug of war?
Yeah.
Ooh! Lord Dargis
better watch out
next time
Rommel's on the loose.
[snarling]
[whistling]
Hello, Smithee.
You're in good spirits today,
sir.
Yes. For some reason I feel
a great burden has been lifted.
A burden, sir?
What do you make of
my new suit, Smithee?
Hmm?
Oh, very smart, sir.
Oh, Smithee, I've invited Miss
Westminster for tea on Monday,
and it's extremely important
she feel welcome.
Why don't you bring up a bottle
of the very best champagne?
And set out
the Prince Royal china,
silver service.
You know the type of thing.
Very good, sir.
[whistling]
ROMMEL:
Uh, trousers.
DARGIS:
Yes, I'd like to speak
to Miss Westminster, please.
Hello, Rommel.
Did we enjoy
our little snack, then, hmm?
Trousers.
Ah, Miss Westminster...
Trousers!
Care to pop over
and have a little...
[screaming]
RUGBY FAN 1:
Oggy! Oggy! Oggy!
RUGBY FANS:
Oi! Oi! Oi!
Oggy! Oggy! Oggy!
FANS:
Oi! Oi! Oi!
[all cheering]
-LIZ: Isn't this fantastic?
-JON: Yeah.
Who ordered the pasta?
-Oh, it's for the kitty.
-Oh, good Lord.
What gruel is this?
[barks]
Quite right, old boy.
They must have given me yours.
Garfield, since when
do you say no to lasagna?
You do realize I'm a cat,
don't you, sir?
You know, he doesn't
seem like himself.
He's probably
just a little jet-lagged.
I suppose I should probably
force down a bite or two
to keep up my strength.
Oh. It does have
a unique texture.
So, Liz, I don't know
if you've noticed,
but I've been
kind of anxious to, um...
[fans shouting]
[laughing]:
Why am I clapping?
I'm sorry.
What were you saying?
PRINCE:
Oh, spot on.
Never have I tasted its equal!
Oh!
Oh, Garfield,
that's gross!
[laughing]
Please, sir,
may I have some more?
Oh! Does a Great Dane live here?
It's a Carlyle log, my lord:
A savory of liver and spleen
served in a sleeve
of sheep's intestines.
And you're supposed to eat it?
What is this, "Fear Factor"?
Intestines? Spleen?
I'm the king, right?
Prince, actually.
Same difference.
I rule, yes?
WI NSTON:
Yes, Your Highness.
Great. Then feed this
to the humans
and just bring me a piping hot
dish of lasagna, okay?
I'll see to it
at once, sire.
Now it says
we add the ricotta cheese.
Ducks!
You're supposed
to sift
the flour, not sit in it!
Don't yell at us.
We're not the ones who drank
all the cooking sherry.
[hiccups]
[singing]
Hmm. Carrots make
everything better,
and it can't hurt lasagna.
What the heck is...?
[egg splats]
That was close.
WI NSTON:
Now slip in the eggs,
ooze in the tomatoes.
Now stir the
whole thing up
in a bowl and let the bowl...
Okay.
You know what
I'm talking about.
Hold it
right here,
all you animals.
What goes on
here, Winston?
[laughs]:
We're preparing
the royal lasagna, sire.
Unless you prefer
another dish.
Did you say "dish"?
Lasagna's not
a dish, windbag.
It's a way of life,
a state of being.
Man's one perfect achievement.
What did the Indians serve
to the Pilgrims?
Lasagna.
What did Marie Antoinette
scream to the rabble?
"Let them eat lasagna."
What did Neil Armstrong say
when he landed
on the moon?
"That's one small slice
of lasagna."
It's not a dish.
It's the stuff of dreams.
It's the food of the gods.
It's what's for lunch.
Yeah, well, the problem is,
it seems we've mucked it up.
You just need a little
guidance, that's all.
[fast-tempo,
surf guitar riff playing]
Where's the flour?
Who's got it?
[caws]
GARFIELD:
I need a mixing bowl.
One large mixing bowl.
GARFIELD:
And someone to mix it.
Thank you.
[sneezes, sputters, coughs]
Much obliged.
[group singing pop]
Sheba, did you remember
to wash your hooves?
Ladies... thank
you so much.
Strike. Strike. Strike.
A little outside.
Step on it,
will you?
I need that dough.
Yeah, we'll need
about a half a pound of this.
[squawks]:
What are barnyard animals
doing in the kitchen?
I demand you all leave at once.
This is completely against
my castle health code.
Getting hot in here.
Turn on the exhaust fan,
will you, somebody?
PRESTON:
What are you doing?
Get away from there!
[squawks,
then slams into grate]
GARFIELD:
Sorry!
Proof more accidents happen
in the kitchen
than any other room
in the house.
Hey, where did
that big ball of dough go?
All I see are magnificent
ribbons of perfection.
Yo, it's lasagna,
not shish kebab.
Taste that.
Is that too
sweet for you?
[grunting]
One time.
[grunts]
[group singing pop continues]
[laughing]
Whoa!
Here comes the parsley.
All right, bring it back.
Bring it in. Bring it in.
Bring it in.
Bring it back, back, back,
back, back, back, back, back. Good.
We need somebody
with a hard head.
Thank you.
[sighs]
It's out of
our hands now.
[inhales deeply]
[growling happily]
[animals exclaiming
with pleasure]
EENI E:
This lasagna's fabulous!
Oh!
That's a bit of
all right, that is.
Those Italians got it right,
didn't they?
Mmm! Oh!
Two cheeses.
That is delicious!
Yeah, not bad on short notice.
It's beautiful!
What'd I tell you?
If you'd just let me be your
king and lead you, all right?
Any more?
CHRISTOPHE: Oh, one more piece.
-EENI E: Oh!
-Would anyone mind if I...?
-I, CLAUDI US: It's mine!
-DALMATIAN: I would!
-I, CLAUDI US: Move!
-WI NSTON: Easy, easy!
-Hold up a moment!
-NIGEL: I said it's mine!
That piece has
Nigel's name on it.
Uh-oh.
[all arguing]
Please, I command you.
[glass smashing]
Leave room for dessert.
DARTS ANNOUNCER [over TV]:
Here it is, one step...
A half-inch adjustment
from his last shot!
Oh, nearly!
Oh, heavens, I fear
there was something urgent
to which I was supposed
to attend,
and yet I can't for the life of
me begin to recall what it was.
[giggles]:
You really like it?
I do. It's great.
Thank you.
Let me see.
I got to go.
Are you sure I
can't go with you
to this castle
tour thing?
They won't mind.
It's a Conservancy function
for speakers only.
I guess the woman
who owned the place
was a big animal lover.
You hang with the guys.
Odie could use a walk,
and Garfield could use...
...some serious ab work.
Anyway, I'll be back soon.
Have fun, boys.
My entire world seems to
revolve
around napping,
television and lasagna.
Still, I'm plagued by a vague
notion of a duty unfulfilled.
Oh, well.
Back to sleep.
What is it, woof-woof?
"Castles of England"?
Good Lord!
There it is!
Carlyle Castle
on the Upper Thames.
Oh, brilliant, Odie.
All this time, I took you for...
well, a complete simpleton.
Now destiny calls.
To the battlements!
Sound the horns!
For king and country!
Farewell, my loyal squire.
The legend cont...
[gasps]
What, ho!
[screaming]
Garfield?
Okay, sore bottom, a little
disoriented, but undeterred.
Garfield!
Now, which way is the river?
[sniffing]
I think this way.
JON:
Garfield!
Sorry, Jon.
Oh, here it is.
Now one needs
some kind of conveyance.
-[horn tooting]
-Oh, hello.
Oh, it's an awfully long way
down, but I must,
and I shall, and I...
[screaming]
Ow.
Well, Miss Westminster,
I have the papers
all drawn up.
We need only sign them,
and it's on to
the ground breaking.
Oh, that's wonderful.
I would like to move forward
as soon as possible.
Just think.
Bulldozers, paving machines
busily transforming this dump
into beautiful luxury condos.
You and I striding
through centuries of dust
like giants surveying
our emerging empire.
Two proud parents.
I-I'll just check on Smithee.
See if tea is ready.
-[quacking]
-[barks]
Filthy monsters!
Come back here,
you smelly creature!
Come here!
Pigs, mark your man!
[Grunting]
Come here,
you smelly individual!
[Squeals]
You know what?
I got two words for that guy.
"You're fired."
If only it were
that simple, sire.
[clucking]
Swine!
Is there a problem, sir?
Is there a problem?
There's a bull drinking
my champagne,
the pool's full
of wild animals,
and a pig just
tried to kill me.
Yes! I would say
there was a problem.
I'll tend to it, sir.
You'll tend
to it immediately!
And we'll have tea indoors.
Do you think you
could handle that?
Thank you.
There's a good chap.
Oh!
Has there been an accident?
I'm afraid tea will have to wait
till later, Miss Westminster.
Oh.
[chattering]
He's about 42
and a half pounds.
He has orange fur,
more like a burnt sienna.
And he answers
to the name Garfield.
I-E-L-D.
[typing]
Okay,
well, fortunately, Scotland Yard
isn't very busy this week.
So, uh, we'll put together
a task force
and our best men
and, uh, turn all
our resources and attention
towards finding your fat cat.
Really?
No.
[whines]
-Come on, Odie.
-[barks]
[clanging]
Now, Rommel,
it's really quite simple.
Uh...?
Me... Prince.
Prince... me.
Provider of food...
Food.
Right, governor.
Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm!
Yum, yum.
Kill...
Kitty!
Attaboy, Rommel! There you go!
Well done!
That's the spirit!
Bad boy! Bad boy!
Go on, get along!
[groans]
Smithee.
How are you?
Do me a favor.
Have that polished.
There's a good chap.
So, what's on
your mind, Smithee?
Uh...
Mr. Hobbs's office called.
Are the solicitors
convening again, sir?
It's nothing at all,
Smithee.
Papers to sign.
You know boring.
Incidentally,
when did you
last have
a holiday, Smithee?
Holiday, sir?
I can't remember.
-Seriously, man?
-Mm.
What an embarrassing
oversight on my part.
I insist you have a week's
holiday, starting today.
Oh, I don't know.
I don't think...
Oh, Smithee, I won't
hear a word of it.
I can just see you
cycling in the Dordogne,
fighting the wild boar
in Tristan da Cunha.
Farewell, wind to your sails
and bon voyage, Smithee.
Well, then...
thank you... sir.
[indistinct conversations]
JON:
What am I going to do?
How am I supposed to find
Garfield?
-London's really... big.
-[Odie barks]
I don't care about some
alien love baby, okay?
I'm worried about Garfield.
[barks]
Odie, you know what?
You're being a real...
"Lady Eleanor of Carlyle
has left her entire estate
to her beloved cat,
Prince the 12th."
Maybe someone mistook this cat
for Garfield.
Odie, come on.
Come on, buddy!
The Venetian crystal chandeliers
in this room were commissioned
by the Third Earl of Carlyle
in the late 18th century.
Over here, we have several
family portraits painted
by the Dutch master
Van Dyck.
These are amongst
the many treasures
to be found at Carlyle.
[singing]
-PRESTON: Oh, hogwash!
-Huh?
I tell you, this cat is
mocking us at every turn.
WI NSTON:
Preston, calm yourself.
We're only doing what is
best for everybody.
PRESTON:
How much longer must we sustain this charade?
I can't believe this cat
is so stupid as to think
he's actually royalty.
Well, he does, and house cat
or not, we need him.
Wha...? House cat?
Just have a little patience.
Patience? Ha!
Admit it, Winston.
This buffoon couldn't groom
the paws of a real king.
Buffoon?!
[acoustic guitar plays
sad melody]
##
##
Golly, this is without a doubt
my all-time crummiest moment.
Huh?
Jon.
Man, I've been such
a stupid, selfish cat.
[sniffling]
I've lost my friend.
I've got to find him.
The original medieval kitchen
has stood
on this site since 1485...
Yes, yes, it's big.
It's old and it's musty.
Uh, Lord Dargis, uh,
please meet the tour group
from the Royal
Animal Conservancy.
Oh! By all means,
save the little darlings.
That's my motto.
Big fan of Free Willy,
Born Free,
all the Free movies.
Bravo! Now off you go.
If you come this way,
we'll visit some of the
underground passages,
one of which...
Hello. Welcome to
Carlyle Castle, my dear.
Thank you.
It's, it's beautiful.
Well, that makes
two of you.
Did I mention how much
I abhor fox hunting?
Unless, of course,
in self-defense.
-Bye.
-If I may...
Uh, one question, uh...?
Liz.
Ah, the same as our own
dear queen. Cordial?
-One question, Liz.
-Liz?
What would you say
if I were to donate
one of my priceless
oil paintings
to your conservancy?
Um... Thank you?
Mm! But how
would you say it?
That royal sleaze
is hitting on Liz.
Perhaps you would consider
dining with me
at the castle tonight?
Nobody hits on my best friend's
girlfriend... and succeeds.
Yoo-hoo! Mr. Pinata-Head.
[growling]:
You!
Me?
Excuse me for one moment.
-Sure, but...
-Mi castle es su castle.
-DARGIS: Aha!
-GARFIELD: Not now!
-Your nine lives are up!
-[doorbell rings]
GARFIELD:
No. No, not now.
Good Lord,
do these people never sleep?
GARFIELD:
Oh, why now?
Ah, Mr. Hobbs,
punctual as usual.
Just taking out the rubbish.
Won't be a jiffy.
GARFIELD [whimpering]:
Oh, please!
Okay, you got me.
GARFIELD:
Oh, you are so stupid.
Dungeon.
GARFIELD:
I'm just a cat!
GARFIELD [crying]:
Oh... Please! I'm so weak...
and, and you're so strong,
so powerful.
[Garfield grunts]
[lock rattles]
GARFIELD:
You creep!
There's more than one way
to skin a royal cat.
I'm not a royal cat!
I'm a self-centered house cat!
Hey! Wait! Wait!
What, you think I'm going
to crack in here?
Uh-uh. No.
This is gonna be a treat.
I'm finally gonna have
some quality alone time.
I'm gonna write that novel
I've been putting off.
I'm gonna learn a couple
of foreign languages,
and I'm gonna start a whole
new workout regimen.
I'm gonna lose all this.
Get myself
in top physical condition.
Thank you! Yeah!
Ha, ha!
I love it here!
You've done me
an enormous favor!
Who's laughing now?
[laughing]
[laughter fades]
[laughter resumes]
[sighs]
[grunting]
It's nice to get away
from the urban sprawl.
"Carlyle, 28 miles."
Going my way?
[grunts]
Piece of cake, really.
JON:
So we make a left up ahead.
[barks]
Oh. Right turn.
Thanks, buddy.
I'm afraid
there's just no sign of him.
Really? Well, then...
let's make it official.
Well, if we must, we must.
Then there's the time
I got hit by that car...
and the time that I ate
that six-day-old halibut.
Hey, that's only seven lives.
I got two more.
All right, I'm gonna
get out of this.
[stone scrapes, clatters]
Bingo!
Winston and I have come
to your rescue.
Took you long enough.
What, did you finally hear
my stomach growling?
No, but we heard your tiresome
monologue. Bad halibut, indeed.
[stone scraping]
Let's get you out of here,
Your Royal Highness.
Winster.
The solicitors are here.
We have to move quickly.
Huh.
Uh, then we luncheon,
Your Royal Highness.
Yeah, you can drop that shtick,
drool boy.
I heard you
and the bird.
How about the house cat part?
I loved that.
Aw, all right, all right.
So we weren't exactly honest.
We had to do it.
What would
you have done?
Save your breath, chubby cheeks.
I shall abdicate my throne
and return to my TV chair.
You were our only hope.
The only hope of the hopeless.
What do they want, blood?
I have been eating and sleeping
my heart out for these animals
still not enough.
Like I'm not as good
as a royal cat could be.
Huh?
Hmm...
[Garfield humming]
Hmm?
Hmm...
Hmm?
Blah!
Hmm?
[Garfield groans]
[glass squeaks]
[exhaling]
[Prince groans]
Aha! I so knew you weren't me.
And you must be Garfield.
How do you know my name?
I've lived your life
for the past few days.
Yes, if ever a man loved a cat,
it's your Jon.
Return to him, Garfield.
Return to your home.
Your Highness, you don't have
to tell me twice. Bye-bye.
Sire, thank heavens.
-You've returned.
-The real prince!
The prince is home,
back with us!
It's the real prince
the genuine article.
Yes, my friends,
I have returned to you
at this, our darkest hour.
So, Winny, what exactly is
Lord Dargis up to?
He intends to level our homes
and kill us all.
O... kay.
[clears throat]
Well, in that case, I decree
that we pack our bags
and get our scraggy bottoms
out of here.
Perhaps to the castle next door.
-Oh, boy.
-What?!
[sarcastically]:
Well, that was inspirational.
Brilliant.
I am so fired up.
You know, I have to believe
we can do better.
I thought you were leaving.
Hey, button the beak,
Fruit Loops,
or I'll stick that thing on
backwards.
Look, Lord Doofus is
just another bully.
And what do we do to bullies?
Well, generally,
we run from them.
No, we don't leave.
We stand
and we kick royal butt.
Trust me, if you beasts...
can bake a two-cheese
lasagna,
you can beat Dargis.
Well, do you have a plan,
Garfield?
Tell you what.
For the duration of this battle,
I would prefer
to be called G-Cat.
And we have two plans.
-Oh, teamwork. Oh, yes, yes.
-[animals chatter excitedly]
[panting]
GARFIELD:
Hey, girly dog!
[snarling]
Yeah, you girly girl!
You're such a silly sissy dog!
[barking]
GARFIELD:
Go! Go!
PRINCE:
The game is afoot.
[Rommel barking in distance]
-Sissy, silly dog.
-[barking]
You don't move so good, bozo!
[barking]
Uh-oh!
Here, kitty-kitty.
[panting]
GARFIELD:
Yoo-hoo!
-Oh, Mr. Stinky Dog.
-[growling]
Hey, loco.
Oh, no!
Run away!
GARFIELD:
Oh, yay-yip-yip-yahoo!
Yahoo!
Yow-yow-ya-ya-yip-yip-yip-yahoo!
DARGIS [sadly]:
The loss of Prince...
I'm not quite
sure that...
any of us will ever
get over it.
Prince and Carlyle Court
were... were one.
Sometimes, it's, it's almost
as if his...
his spirit was still...
His spirit's still what?
...still ro-roaming
the grounds.
I wonder if you could
excuse me for a little...
Do you hear running water?
I-I won't be long.
He's a bit of a tool,
don't you think?
[doorbell rings]
Yes?
Lord Dargis. Am I early?
Only just, Miss Westminster.
Only just.
Please, please. Please.
I was just
finishing something.
I wonder if you'd like
to wait in the library.
[whimpers]
Okay.
Make yourself at home.
Have a seat.
Thank you. Um...
PRINCE:
Tally-ho!
Oh! On the other hand,
this simply won't do.
-Why?
-Smithee's been painting again.
I can't smell anything.
Oh, you never can,
my darling.
Next thing you know,
you're salsa dancing
in your knickers.
-What?
-I won't be long.
[growls]
[grunts]
MR. HOBBS:
Ah! Mr. Dargis,
will we be starting
sometime today?
Absolutely, Mr. Hobbs.
PRINCE:
Hello again.
[Dargis screams]
-What's the matter?
-Matter with what?
-You screamed.
-No, I didn't.
Why don't you adjourn
to my study?
And now, I'll retrieve
the papers.
Where are you,
you rat-headed devil?
[grunts]
Oh, no!
Yoo-hoo, Mr. Fancy-pants.
[groans]
Wait till I get
my hands on you!
Ha-ha! He's brilliant!
[groans]
[groans]
GARFIELD [in Brooklyn accent]:
Dargis!
I got two words for youse:
Me. Yow.
Come here, you!
Oh, no, you won't do.
I specifically requested
a feline masseuse.
[screams]
[Dargis groans]
[Dargis yelling]
Somebody get this thing
off of me!
Hey, bozo!
-[growls]
-Yeah, you, buster!
GARFIELD:
Hey!
[screams]
Stupid, red-haired,
flea-bitten...
Whoa-aah!
[grunting and groaning]
Lord Da... What is...?
What is that?
-I felt a slight chill.
-What?
I thought a simple wrap
would be just the ticket.
-There!
-There what?
There is absolutely no reason
why you can't have
a cool, refreshing drink
to make you feel calmer
in this steamy weather.
Wait in the room.
Stupid cat!
Nobody makes an idiot out of me.
[grunting]
[whimpers, body thuds]
[visor squeaks]
Oopsie-daisy.
Medic!
PRINCE:
Well done, old man.
GARFIELD:
Thank you.
Never seen a welcome mat
on the way out.
[grunts]
GARFIELD:
Get your cameras ready, ladies.
DARGIS:
Come back here, you flea-bitten monster!
[chickens clucking]
-[ducks quacking]
-GARFIELD: Oops! Oh, no!
[taunting blubber]
[panting and grunting]
Ooh!
[panting]
[grunting]
[gasping]
ROMMEL:
Trousers!
[Dargis screams]
[barking]
[Dargis screams]
[barking]
-Trousers!
-[screaming]
[gasps]
McBUNNY:
Target sighted!
DARGIS [mumbling]:
Shaken him off.
Pull!
-Take that!
-[clay shattering]
-And that!
-[Dargis screams]
-Down a bit. Down a bit. Up.
-Bob's your uncle!
[grunting]
Good Lord, it's a conspiracy!
[Rommel barks in distance]
[barking]
Oh, dear.
Trousers!
DARGIS [echoing]:
Smithee!
JON:
Excuse me, sir.
Is that Carlyle Castle?
It is.
Maybe you can help me.
Have you seen a cat
that looks like this?
Ah, yeah... that's Prince,
the cat of Carlyle.
[whimpers]
It's also Garfield,
the cat of the cul-de-sac.
Do you mean to say,
you have a cat
that's Prince's doppelganger?
No, I'm saying
they look exactly alike.
And there's a chance
they may have gotten mixed up.
I see.
There you are, man.
Good God! What happened
to your clothes?
Indeed, it's been
that kind of day.
Mr. Dargis, I demand
an explanation.
[voice cracking]:
I had no choice.
The cat just won't die.
What did you say?
You will sign the deeds
over to me, cat or no cat.
Oh, my!
Mr. Hobbs, you were right.
Lord Dargis was willing
to go to any lengths
to get the estate.
I can see you're busy.
I'm just gonna...
Uh! Young lady.
Get over there.
Traitoress. You were working
with them all along!
JON:
Odie! Odie, wait for me!
Odie!
DARGIS:
Get on with it!
PRINCE:
Hello, everyone.
Sorry I'm late.
Shall I ring for tea?
Well, it's Prince,
and he's alive!
GARFIELD:
I am bushed.
All this running-for-my-life
stuff.
What say we break for lunch,
take a quick nap
and pick it up later?
Sound good?
There are two
of you little monsters, hmm?
For those keeping score
at home, that's 18 lives.
MR. HOBBS:
This is unbelievable!
-HOBBS: Two cats?!
-DARGIS: No matter.
I have plenty of ammunition.
-Aah!
-[Odie growling]
Something's biting me!
[screaming]
[growling]
Odie, let him go!
Help! Oh!
Your lunatic dog
just bit my bottom!
[laughter]
All right.
Well played, you.
GARFIELD:
Hey, look, it's Little Jon.
PRINCE:
Good show, old man.
I'll go quietly.
Jon?
-Liz?
-What's going on?
Well, hello, my dear.
Hello.
And not a moment too soon.
-[gasping]
-GARFIELD & PRINCE: Uh-oh!
Is this part of the tour?
-Let her go.
-All in good time.
Now if you'll be so kind...
Okay, stay calm.
Okay?
Mr. Hobbs, the papers, please.
I've seen enough.
You want to call in your weasel?
PRINCE:
Sic him, Nigel.
Oi! I'm a ferret.
And I mean business...
trouser-leg business!
Ooh... [screams]
NIGEL:
I'll take a leg, please.
Ooh, on second thought,
I'll have some white meat.
Aah! Good Lord!
There's a wild animal
in my trousers!
[grunts]
[whimpers, body thuds]
Hoo-dee-doo-dee-doo.
Uh, who's next then, eh?
Glass jaw.
He can dish it out,
but he can't take it.
That was amazing!
Are-Are you okay?
Yeah, I...
I never felt better.
PRESTON:
Well done, Garfield.
I was rooting for you
the whole time.
Did you hear something?
Yes, one did.
I'm here to discuss
my new position in your...
SMITHEE:
There he is, gentlemen.
Come along.
There's a good boy.
Oh... It was the animals,
you know.
Plotting, planning,
every one of them against me!
I assume that
will be all, sir.
Smithee.
He'll vouch for me.
Smithee!
PRINCE:
Odie, thank you.
You're a hero
and a gentleman.
Whoa. There are
two Garfields?
Well, how can you
tell them apart?
Oh, you forgot imbecile.
-That's Garfield.
-Garfield.
Liz, I've been...
I've been trying
to get the courage up
to ask you something
all week.
-Uh-huh.
-And, uh...
Oh, come on...
Really?
[mumbling]:
Looking for something?
Thanks, pal.
Liz, will you marry me?
[sighs happily]
Yes.
Aw...
You know a dog's mouth
is cleaner than a human's?
-[rock beat plays]
-Come on! The coast is clear!
[group singing pop]
[animals cheering]
Hooray!
McBUNNY:
Let's hear it for the cats!
Hooray!
Go, Garfield.
That's right. Come on!
Do you do
the Carlyle jig?
It goes like this.
[chuckling]
Can you do this?
Oh, boogaloo.
[chuckles]
[chuckling]:
Jolly good.
Bust a move, man.
No, it's something
like this here.
PRINCE:
And so, my loyal subjects,
I leave you
with a final legacy.
Cannonball!
[animals groaning]
[moos]
[bleating]
[animals chatting excitedly]
Brilliant party, sire.
[chuckling]
GARFIELD:
Yeah, when the going gets tough...
the great ones party.
[grunting]
[Odie barking]
[bleating]
Who wants to play
Marco Polo?
HOGS:
Marco!
I refuse to partake in this
sinful display of hedonism.
Oh! Those nuts look good.
Get a load of this!
Bombs away...!
I love this pond.
We rule the pool, goosey.
Give me some feathers!
[group singing pop continues]
GARFIELD [chuckling]:
Watch the ears.
Thank you.
Oh, you're so kind.
[Odie barks]
Odie, could you
beat it, please?
It's good to be king.
[group singing pop continues]
[group singing pop continues]
[song ends]
[mid-tempo rock beat plays]
[man singing]
[woman vocalizing]
[man singing]
##
[woman vocalizing]
##
[man singing]
[woman vocalizing]
[man singing]
[woman vocalizing]
[song ends]
[fast-tempo surf guitar
instrumental playing]
[rousing orchestral
fanfare playing]
[fanfare ends]
[birds squawking]
[wind blowing]
[grand, royal orchestral
theme playing]
NARRATOR:
Once upon a time,
in an English castle
far, far away,
there lived a pampered
personage by the name of...
-[yawning]
...Prince.
[bell ringing]
All right,
everyone, he's awake.
Hurry! Hurry!
Come along, quickly.
Right, are we all ready?
Get the Carlyle log.
NARRATOR:
Prince knew no other life
than a life of luxury.
Oh, did I mention
that Prince was a cat?
Good morning, Prince.
[yawning, groaning]
Your tea.
[British accent]:
Mm-hmm-hmm! Breakie.
I have your favorite dish.
Carlyle log.
Ah, lovely.
[slurping, smacking]
[moaning]
[chuckling]
Super.
Oh, it's good to be the king.
NARRATOR:
On the other side of the world,
there lived
an equally pampered cat
who thought he was a king,
but who ruled over
a somewhat smaller domain.
Meow.
[grunting]
I'm the king of the cul-de-sac.
That's what I'm talking about.
Jon and I have everything
I could ever want.
Food in the fridge.
Cable and satellite.
And don't forget lasagna.
That's right.
It's good to be king.
I want you to know, you're the
most important thing in my life.
Let me sleep, please.
Before I met you,
my life had no meaning.
I was incomplete.
Oh, you still are, really.
I guess what I'm
trying to say is...
...will you marry me?
Eh? Marriage?
Well, this is kind of sudden.
There may be
some legal issues here.
Look, I like you,
but not as a spouse.
Maybe as a servant, we could
stay together, make it work.
So what do you say... Liz?
-Wait a second. Liz? Liz?
-Garfield.
Liz is a girl.
No, worse.
She's a girl vet.
-[bell dings]
-Turkey's ready.
Well, I think
Jon has touched bottom now.
Hmm, we gotta put an end
to this torture.
[romantic music playing]
Time for a new DJ.
[stereo blasts]
[singing]
Somebody take my temperature.
Garfield!
[stutters]
Whoa!
[music stops]
Man, you have changed.
I can't have you messing
this up for me, okay?
-Oh, I get it. It's her.
-Come here.
She doesn't like our music.
Whatever happened to Jon?
-My metal-head guy. My dude.
-[doorbell chimes]
You were so much cooler
when you wore a mullet.
Now stay here.
-So much cooler.
-[doorbell chimes]
I suppose she likes
this haircut.
I suppose she likes
this haircut.
-Coming!
-Tell me she likes it the way it is now.
-Hey, Liz.
-Jon, I have incredible news.
Guess who's going to be
speaking at this year's fund-raiser
for the Royal Animal
Conservancy.
Siegfried and Roy?
-Oh, come on.
-Just Siegfried?
Jane Goodall dropped out
at the last minute
because she's nursing
a sick chimp
and they asked me.
I mean, it's gonna be at
this really cool castle
on a huge estate.
Well, Liz, that-that's...
I am flying to London
tomorrow morning.
-Can you believe it?
-What?
I mean, I have
to pack, and...
Oh, are these rose
petals and candles?
Yeah, well, Liz,
I have some...
some important news
of-of-of my own.
Uh...
GARFIELD:
Hey, me, too.
[clears throat]
Excuse me, do you believe
in love at first sight?
I was hoping you'd say yes.
You have made me
so very, very cat-happy.
-Uh...
-Well, come on.
-What's the news?
-The news is, I, uh...
I finally house-trained Odie.
-Really?
-Yeah.
That would explain
the rose petals.
I have to pack.
I'm so sorry
about dinner.
But you know what?
I will send your
regards to the queen.
Okay, congratulations
on Odie.
Oh, oh, yeah.
And, hey, you, too.
They're lucky to have you.
[kisses]
Bye.
Oh, I thought she'd never leave.
Garfield, you ate
the whole turkey?
Well, yeah.
What are you
doing with this?
Oh, never mind.
It's too late.
She's already off to...
[belches] Ooh!
Good stuffing.
Well, come on, cheer up.
-I saved you the wishbone.
-There's nothing I can do.
Sure there is.
Return the ring and
get your money back.
Wait a minute.
I'll go to London.
-Oh, you poor sap.
-She'll love it.
-She'll be surprised.
-Please don't do this.
-She'll be thrilled.
-Tell me you're not gonna do this.
-She'll say yes.
-Please, don't.
I gotta go pack.
You moron.
This is a huge mistake, Jon.
One of your biggest.
Don't roam. Stay home.
Odie and I are not just coming
along for the ride, pal.
This is actually
an intervention.
JON:
Okay, guys. Here we are.
[yawning]:
Oh, quick flight.
We must have been
in the jet stream.
England is no great shakes, huh?
I mean, the buildings here look
like, uh, the kennel back home.
That is the kennel back home.
They'll never take me alive.
They're gonna
be fine, Jon.
Yeah, yeah.
Garfield's never stayed
in a kennel before,
so I'm afraid
he might have
some separation anxiety.
No.
He's probably fast asleep
in his cage by now.
You hear me, warden?!
I have the right
to remain silent!
Anything I say can and
will be held against me
in a court of law!
And I have the right
to an attorney, too, pal!
And if I can't afford one,
one must be provided for me
by the court!
Never mind!
I just broke out.
He likes a belly rub
twice a day.
And, oh, if you
could give him
a pan of lasagna
between each meal,
that would be great.
Oh, almost forgot Pooky.
Can't be
without Pooky.
[barks]
Oh, great. Just when
things were looking up.
Look, why don't
you stay here
and get your
fleas removed,
maybe get a brain transplant?
[barks]
Okay, go away. Beat it.
Hide beneath the wheels.
Agh! You're
ripping my fur!
Aah! Get off! Get off!
Get off! Get off!
Get in here!
Get in! Get in!
Okay, so you have
my cell phone
and you have
the hotel number.
-Don't worry, I do. Bye now.
-Okay.
GARFIELD:
Airport, and step on it.
Jon won't mind if I repack him.
We're gonna need
some room in this bag.
[humming]
[quacking]
[quacking]
[humming, screams]
Aah! You savage beast,
how dare you!
Get out of here!
Smithee!
There's something
in the pool! Smithee!
There's a duck in my pool,
Smithee.
A duck!
A duck, sir?
Filthy wild animal
soaking itself in my pool.
What do you intend
doing about this?
I shall speak
to the duck, sir?
Mmm.
[squeaking]
Oh, by the way,
the solicitors are here
for the reading
of Lady Eleanor's will.
Excellent.
In a few moments,
I'll be the master
of this entire estate.
And from this day on,
things will be done my way.
[quacking]
MAN:
This is the last will and testament
of Lady Eleanor Carlyle
of Carlyle Castle.
"I declare this to be my last
will and testament,
which I make,
this first day of September"...
Keep still.
They're reading Lady Eleanor's will.
I've got a bad feeling
about this.
I can't watch.
If Lord Dargis gets the estate,
we're done for.
We're doomed!
Shh! Quiet.
"To my devoted Smithee,
"I make thee caretaker
of my estate.
"Care for my beloved
animal friends
"as you have in the past
and you will always have
a home at Carlyle Castle."
Thank you, Madame.
She's dead, Smithee.
You can stop sucking up.
"The rest of my
worldly possessions,
"my castle
and surrounding grounds,
I leave to the love of my life,
somebody who was like
a son to me..."
Thank you, Aunt Eleanor.
Oh, thank you.
Please let me finish,
Mr. Dargis.
I'm sorry. I always get
a little ahead of myself.
"I leave all my worldly possessions
to my beloved kitty,
Prince the 12th."
-That's incredible.
-Oh, my word.
Entirely without
precedent.
This is what it says.
But I'm her nephew,
her only heir.
She can't have left it all
to a cat.
I, Prince,
the new lord of the castle?
[cheering]
Good show, Lady Eleanor.
Oh, bless her heart.
Can it be?
We are delivered.
Thank you, Winston.
The will clearly states
that you may stay on
at Carlyle Castle and
receive your usual stipend
of, uh...
-Fifty pounds?!
-Upon Prince's passing,
after what we assume will
be a long and happy life,
you will receive
the castle, the land
and your title.
But that fat ball of fur
could last for another 15 years!
Let us hope so.
The castle was built
over 600 years ago
by Lord Franklin Carlyle.
Now, the initial structure
is late medieval in style...
MAN:
In the west wing, we'll put the pool and spa.
Yes, and where would
the squash courts be?
Oh, there he is!
-That's unbelievable.
-Oh, hello.
Snap your photos. Unfortunately,
I can but spare a few moments...
Hey, buddy, do you
mind stepping aside?
I can't get a good
shot of the cat.
Greetings, all.
Hello.
So glad.
So very, very glad.
May I remind you
this is private property?
Oh, relax, bro, it's not
like you own the place.
We shall see.
[quacking fanfare]
To all the royal
subjects,
I give you the new possessor
of Carlyle Castle:
Prince the 12th!
PRINCE:
To one and all,
I pledge, from this day forward,
to rule my kingdom
with wisdom and valor.
And as long as I reign,
you shall continue
to have safe haven
here on the bountiful grounds
of Carlyle.
Thank you. That is all.
ANI MALS:
Hip-hip hooray!
Long live Prince!
I think that went
frightfully well.
Don't you, Winny?
Sire, I hasten to remind you
that Lord Dargis has every
reason to get rid of you.
Oh, Winny, pooh-pooh.
I'm his favorite kitty-cat.
[grand royal theme playing]
[record needle scratches]
Hello, little Prince.
What a beautiful day
for a picnic, of course.
Oh, no, thanks, old boy.
You just run along
and enjoy yourself.
Hey! What the devil...?!
So it's hide-and-seek
you want to play.
All right,
I'll count to 100.
-[barking]
-Hello, Rommel.
...three, four, five...
...35, 36, 37, 38...
...96, 97, 98, 99, 100.
All right, fair warning.
Ready or not, here I come...
[Prince yells]
Bon voyage, Prince.
[chuckles]
Oh, dear me.
I may have misjudged
the old boy.
Perhaps he is somewhat
of a scoundrel.
After all, this is not the way
one plays hide-and-seek.
[crow cawing]
[rock music plays]
[group singing]
[singing continues]
[singing ends]
Oh, blimey.
[sighs heavily]
Will that
be all, sir?
Oh, yes, thank you.
Uh... thank you.
Thank you, sir.
Oh, wait, wait,
wait, wait, um...
how do I look?
Lovely, sir?
No, see, I'm proposing
to my girlfriend.
She's staying
just down the hall.
I want to make sure I look...
Well, let's see now.
It needs a certain...
Ah!
May I, sir?
There we are.
-Hugh Grant.
-Great.
Uh, oh, could you deliver this
to the girl in room 407?
Of course, sir.
Oh, and, uh...
and this.
Cary Grant, sir.
[knocking]
Jon?
Hey!
But, what are you doing here?
Well, it's just Fashion Week.
Where else would I be?
This is incredible.
I cannot believe
that you're here.
So you're glad?
Glad? I'm thrilled.
But London?
I mean, did you come all
the way here just for me?
Yeah, it's nuts.
In fact, I, uh...
I want us to be together, uh...
LIZ:
Odie!
Come here!
[laughing]:
Oh, yeah.
[gasping]:
Air... water... lasagna.
Garfield?
That's the hello I get?
with a farting dog?
Ooh, you know, they have
quarantine laws here.
Don't let Odie
out of your sight.
They might deport him.
Deport Odie?
Oh, I like this country already.
Oops!
[grunts]
Okay, I'm gonna need
a litter box,
a room service menu
and the TV remote,
and in that order.
Anyone needs me,
I'll be in my office.
Where are my clothes?
Cool.
My very own cat tub.
[water splashing]
[spitting]
Gol-lee!
[cawing]
[caws echo]
NIGEL [echoes]:
Got it.
Could have just come down
and told me that, couldn't he?
All right. Listen up! Listen up!
Farmyard news flash!
I've got some good news
and some bad news.
Which would you
like to hear first?
ANI MALS:
The bad news.
Lord Dargis just threw
Prince in the river.
[concerned exclamations]
Okay, give me the good news.
He was
in a lovely picnic basket.
[animals exclaiming]
If he throws us in the river,
we'll never survive.
-You're ducks; you can swim.
-Oh.
Winston, I'm next in line
for the throne.
Uh-oh. This could get ugly.
I have here a list of new rules
of governance.
WI NSTON:
Preston, I hardly think that's necessary...
Rule Number One:
The barnyard animals congregate
entirely too close
to the castle.
We house pets need our space.
Oh, you've got enough space,
laddie,
right between your ears.
-[animals laugh]
-You take that back!
I command you, as your new king.
Look, there's still a chance
Prince may find
his way back here.
In the meantime, Claudius,
you get into the castle
and find out
what Dargis is up to.
I'm on it.
I'm your mouse on the inside.
I'll see
what I can learn from my end.
[traffic passing]
[Liz laughing]
I want to do something
more cultural.
Okay, all right...
You're cold.
[barking]
Getting colder.
You're an icicle.
You're frozen stiff.
Let's remind ourselves
what we're looking for.
It's a hamburger.
-A squeaky hamburger.
-[squeaking]
We take a walk
through Hyde Park...
Excuse me? We "walk"?!
Then we stroll down
the incredibly cultural
Piccadilly.
[laughs]
"Stroll"?
And then, boom
Carnaby Street.
Aren't we about 40 years
too late for Carnaby Street?
[British accent]:
No, luv.
That's where
all the swingin' birds are.
Oh. Well, then we
are definitely
going to the British
Museum.
[gags]
Any cuter, I'm gonna need
a barf bag.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What are you doing?
-I'm security, pal.
-[Odie barks]
Just protecting you
from yourself.
Garfield, you have caused
enough trouble today.
Now you have food,
water and company.
Which one is he?
-Be good.
-Jon, you're delirious.
Be careful!
She's a man-eater!
Oh, no. He's under her spell.
[barks]
Okay, Odie,
I'll give you one small clue.
It's not in there!
Prince!
[sighs]
Where is that cat?
Prince!
Prince!
Prince!
Prince!
[gunshot]
Prince!
Pull!
[gunshot]
Sir, have you,
by any chance, seen Prince?
I can't seem to
find him anywhere.
Oh... dear!
You mean our little orange
bundle of fun is missing?
Pull!
[gunshot]
-Crikey!
-[gasps]
The man's got a cannon!
And he's pointing it at us!
We're sitting ducks!
Careful, sir.
You wouldn't
want to injure
the creatures,
would you?
Run away!
Of course not.
That would make me
some kind of monster,
wouldn't it?
By the way, Smithee,
I've a little errand
for you.
Could you go to London
and pick up my new suits
at Willoughby's?
Oh, very good, sir.
Pull!
[announcer speaking
indistinctly on TV]
Can you imagine
taking a nap on that table?
Just lie there
for hours and shed.
In other news today, the
queen's corgis, Milly and Tillie,
returned from their world
cruise with the queen,
aboard Her Majesty's yacht.
The animals are said
to have suffered
a mild seasickness,
but now are back to eating
the finest calf's liver.
Oh, boy.
Must be sweet.
"My tummy's upset.
May I have some liver?"
Boy, I wish Jon was a queen.
-[knocking]
-MAI D: Housekeeping.
Okay, blockhead, time
to bust out of here
and catch up with Jon.
First, let's
grab some chow,
before I eat your liver
with some fava beans
and a nice Chianti.
Sorry, we left
a bit of a mess
in the bathroom.
Thanks.
All right,
keep your eyes peeled
for a goofy-looking
guy with a map.
They're not up here.
I'm coming down!
GARFIELD:
Hup, hup, hup, hup!
Hee-yah!
Jon? Jon? Jon?
Where's Waldo?
Take the picture.
Take the picture.
Take it! Take it!
Take the picture!
[guard shouts an order]
GUARD:
Halt!
Right face!
GARFIELD:
Excuse me.
Did you see
a couple of people
who look like
they might be tourists?
Oh, I know this drill.
They won't crack up,
no matter what you do.
Hey, Freeze-Frame,
your knee's on fire.
Hmm. I know
I can get this guy.
No, seriously,
your zipper's down.
Hey, Dry Goods.
[blubbering]
Yeah.
Anybody ever tell you
you look like Tina Turner?
That was effective.
COACHMAN:
Her Majesty, the Queen of England!
GARFIELD:
What's all the hubbub?
GUARD:
Attention!
Hey, Odie, look,
it's those royal corgis.
Hey, lady,
you got any leftover liver?
Stuck-up little punk.
Oh, I know she heard us.
They had the top down.
Odie? Odie?
D'uh-oh! Odie, no!
Don't do the
ugly-American thing!
The British are coming!
The British are coming!
Well, you made him
crack anyway.
PRINCE:
Ew, disgusting!
It's so smelly down here.
I must get out.
Hello? Someone help a chap?
[grunting]
I'm in the sewer.
This is hopeless.
We'll never find Jon.
Face it, Odie:
Nobody cares
-whether we live or...
-[barking]
-[tires screeching]
-[screaming]
[sighs]
Prince, I've found you.
Oh, dear.
Why is it the weird ones
always go for the cat
and not the dog?
Odie, help, please.
-[whines]
-GARFIELD: Is that a cologne
or a disinfectant, sir?
I just got you
a special treat:
Minced pie.
Odie, call a cop.
I mean, bobby or jimmy.
Never mind, Odie.
Don't bother.
There's a pie here.
I'll be just fine.
[barking]
[barking continues]
[whining]
[groans]
Dear heavens!
That was absolutely
the most horrifying...
But I'm alive.
I'm alive!
And... covered in filth.
Here, here.
I must return to my throne.
-[barking]
-What, ho?
Oh, indeed.
Seeing me in this state
must be shocking.
I've lost my bearings.
You must lead me with all due
haste to the castle at Carlyle.
But first, I require a bath.
-[sneezes]
-Here, come on.
Do you expect me to lick myself?
Garfield?!
Odie? Wh... What
are you doing here?
Garfield?
What the devil is a Garfield?
What am I going to
do with you guys?
Do you know how
bad I would feel
if I lost you here?
From now on,
I'm not letting you
out of my sight, okay?
Oh, dear heaven.
Why is it
the weird ones
always go for the cat
and not the dog?
Oh! Bath time
for you, buddy.
Well, that's the best news
I've heard all day.
The dog's not
very bright, is he?
Where are you taking me?
Is it somewhere lovely?
Somewhere special?
Mmm!
Ah!
Hey, Mario Andretti.
You're drivin'
on the wrong side of the road,
and I've got an entire pie
in my stomach.
Don't worry, Prince.
You'll feel better when
we get back to Carlyle.
-[Rings]
-Oh, excuse me.
Yes, hello.
Hobbs here.
Ah, Hobbs,
this is Manfred Dargis here.
A terrible thing
has happened.
Prince is missing.
We've searched everywhere.
Prince is missing?
-BOTH: Missing?!
-This is a rather sudden
development,
-don't you think?
-Well, actually, it's quite common.
In the absence, or in this
case, the death of an owner,
it can be quite
confusing and disorienting
to a cat I mean,
let's face it, they have brains
the size of a gum ball.
-[Dargis laughing]
-All the same,
this seems
rather fishy to me.
I don't particularly care
what it seems to you.
Legally,
since he is gone,
the title of the Carlyle estate
falls to me.
Am I not correct?
Uh, yes, very well.
Good-bye.
He's up to something.
He's got some plan
for the estate,
and I want to find out what.
Ah, Miss Abby
Westminster, I presume.
[chuckling]:
Lord Dargis, an absolute pleasure.
Hello.
DARGIS:
I'm so pleased you've shown
such an interest in
our little enterprise.
Well, my investors
are very interested.
Cheers, dear.
To a long-lasting
business relationship.
To Carlyle
Resort and Spa.
Allow me to introduce
you to my dream.
What's this?
State-of-the-art spa,
meditation garden
and, of course,
luxury condominium.
[chuckles]
But what of the woodland
and barnyard areas?
Allow me.
If you would...
Oh. Very clever.
No woodland,
no barnyard area.
Whoosh gone!
So what will you do
with all the animals?
Let's just say
those we don't chase off,
we will serve up
to the guests.
[cackling]
I must alert the others
at once.
GARFIELD:
Bus driver, pull it over.
I got a pie belch coming
that might break your windows.
[loud belch]
[squawking]
Ah.
Come on, Prince.
Yeah, yeah,
I used to be known as Prince.
Now you can just call me
Ga...
...arfield.
Wow.
Get a load of this dump.
Thanks.
No pet door, huh?
Holy cow, I can
hear my footsteps.
Mom?! Dad?!
I'm home!
Your Highness.
You talking to me, froggy?
It's me,
your trusty servant,
-Winston.
-Hey.
Warning:
I don't fight fair.
I scratch, and I bite.
It's all right, sire.
All is well now.
You're home.
-Home?
-[chuckles]
What, retirement home?
Happy home?
Where, uh,
what is this?
Is this an insane asylum?
Am I being kidnapped?
[laughs]
Very funny, sire.
Your loyal subjects
await you.
They need to be comforted
by your words.
Hey, trust me,
windbag, there's no way
I'm going to give a speech
to a bunch of strangers.
And then, of course,
following your words,
a royal feast.
I think I'm just going to do
a tight two minutes.
See if that
will calm them down, okay?
Oyez!
Oyez!
Prince the 12th
has returned.
[quacking fanfare]
Thank you, windbag,
for that slobbering
introduction.
Hello, everybody!
GARFIELD:
Hey.
-Listen up.
-Ooh.
Is this an audience
or a landscape?
Okay. Great to
be back here
at the palace.
I look out and I see
a sea of dumb
barnyard animals.
I'm here in your country
to break up a romance
between, uh, you know,
the guy who owns the house
I live in and a girl who
is way out of his league.
I know that whatever it is
that you have,
there is some sort of affliction
that produces this glazed look
behind your eyes,
I hope you defeat it.
I wish I could take every one
of you home with me.
Thank you.
I killed.
WI NSTON:
Very funny, sire. Well done.
I didn't realize
it was amateur hour.
What's up with Prince?
Oh, he's on the catnip again.
Hold on, chaps!
Have I got news for you!
What's the word, Claudius?
Dargis is going to bulldoze
the barnyard
and feed us to the tourists.
Let him try.
He'll have to deal
with these fists of fury,
won't he, eh?
-Well, that's dreadful.
-[excited chattering]
Calm yourselves, everybody.
We're all right
as long as Prince is alive.
Well, obviously that feline is
not Prince, you idiots.
He's not even the cat
formerly known as Prince.
NIGEL:
He's right, you know.
Wait, he doesn't have to be
Prince.
He just has to
look like him.
If he fooled me,
he'll fool them.
But what's to stop Dargis from
getting rid of this cat, too?
McBunny is right.
We must protect this cat
at all costs.
Our fates rely on it.
JON:
Mr. And Mrs. Jon Arbuckle.
-Liz Arbuckle.
-[Prince grunting]
Elizabeth Arbuckle.
Yeah.
Listen, you dolt.
There's been a coup d'etat.
Attempted murder most foul.
I am Prince the 12th
of Carlyle.
You there, with the wise
and thoughtful look.
Hello.
Convince this man
there's been a mix-up.
JON:
Garfield, I want you to be in my wedding party.
Wedding party?!
Think you can hold a basket
of flowers in your mouth?
Enough with the grooming, you dunce.
My subjects face
mortal jeopardy.
Dog, approach.
We must plan my escape,
and I'm relying on your
expedience and cunning.
[Odie growling]
PRINCE:
Okeydokey.
New plan.
[Odie whimpers]
GARFIELD:
Call my pumpkin, windbag.
I'm ready to roll.
WI NSTON:
Roll? Where to?
You know,
to the hotel, to Jon.
Your master, the one who's
leaving you for his new wife?
He's not leaving me.
It's more of a...
temporary insanity thing.
Garfield, your master's
started a new life.
It's time
for you to begin yours.
Come on, I want to show
you something.
Do have any idea what runs
through your veins?
Yesterday's dinner,
I guess.
Royal blood, sire.
You are the long-lost heir
to the Carlyle throne.
[chuckling]
You kill me.
These are your ancestors,
dating back 400 years.
GARFIELD:
Mine?
Wow.
Like, I'm a royal cat?
Well, of course.
And anything you need is
only a flick of your tail away.
A flick of my tail, huh?
So, if I said, drool
on your foot...?
-[Winston panting]
-GARFIELD: Not bad.
How about roll over
and whistle "Dixie"?
[whistling]
How's that?
Nice. All right.
Tough one: Jump up
and touch the ceiling.
[grunting]:
How's that, sire?
You don't get up
there too high
there, do you, fella?
I give you your royal
bedchamber.
GARFIELD:
I could do some snoozing here, yeah.
Even a king needs a catnap.
Get up!
Get down.
Get up!
This baby is spring-loaded.
Why do you think
they call me...
[echoing]:
Highness...?
Are you all right? Sire?!
[grunts]
The royal trapeze?
That is how you ring, sire.
You pull it
whenever you require something.
-And what is that?
-Your playhouse.
Oh, I needed a playhouse.
I've got a house
inside of a house.
Does this castle make
my butt look a little too big?
Fits you like a glove.
[farts]
-Ooh! Blimey.
-Pardon.
Well struck, sire.
Good tone, smooth finish.
Well, you took that
in the best spirit, didn't you?
Shall we have a look
in the kitchen?
Did I hear you say...
the kitchen?
[overlapping conversations]
Here we are.
I present your cookery.
All mine?
Every morsel,
down to the last crumb.
Okay. All right.
You can just call me...
Your Highness.
[Garfield and animals singing]
[singing continues]
[singing continues]
[singing continues]
[singing ends]
Yeah, you can just drop
that anywhere.
[body thuds]
[tray clattering]
GARFIELD:
All right, I'll give it to you straight:
It's disappointing.
Your doughnuts are dry
and don't have
holes in them,
and your coffee's so weak,
it looks like tea.
I don't suppose,
Miss Westminster,
you could find time
in your busy life
for a wealthy duke.
[giggling]
Lord Dargis,
I'm afraid I'm taken.
As I am myself...
by you.
[laughs]
Oh, don't mind me.
I'm just an
incorrigible old...
-Cat!
-What?
Nothing, nothing.
Nothing at all,
nothing at all.
Gosh, is that
the time already?
Time, I've
always said,
flies like an arrow.
Don't be afraid
to just show up
and bring some
of those investors
those lovely investors.
We'll throw a party.
Cheerio!
Ah... Smithee, d-did
I see Prince in here?
Isn't it remarkable?
I found him wandering
the streets of London
as I left Willoughby's.
Indeed.
Extraordinary.
And where is
the little fiend...
[clears throat]:
Fellow at the moment?
Oh, I'm sure
I don't know, sir.
Well, I'll maybe take
a little look-see, hmm?
Make him welcome.
Yes, sir.
Look at this room,
for example.
Uh... how would you
liven this place up?
But, sire, this castle
is centuries old.
GARFIELD:
It's a museum.
It's boring.
And you know what's missing
when your crib is a museum?
It's called fun!
Fun?
It's not that hard.
You got to get
a running start
at something
this dull.
Who-o-o-o-o-o-a!
This is gonna end so badly.
[screaming]
Oops.
It was already cracked.
[laughs]:
Nothing escapes you,
does it, sire?
Yeah. I like
the way this feels.
You just slide, baby!
Whoa...!
D'uh-oh!
Don't worry about it.
That one was cracked as well.
Oh, I can relax.
Oops!
What the...? Ooh! Oof!
Smithee!
Get this thing off of me!
All right, let's go try
another room.
Good idea, sire.
MR. HOBBS [on phone]:
Yes, yes.
I've got the deed and
the paperwork in order,
and I've contacted
the other solicitors.
We'll be out there on Monday.
Monday?
But... but I need more time.
More time?
More time for what?
Oh... n-n-nothing. Nothing.
That'll-that'll be fine.
Oh, very well,
we'll be there Monday,
unless, by some miracle,
Prince returns.
We can only hope, Mr. Hobbs.
[screaming]
What's the news?
Dargis is sure to make a move
on the cat.
The solicitors
will be here Monday.
Right. Good work.
GARFIELD:
Careful.
That's high-grade
American cardboard
you're tossing
around there.
Beautiful, fellas.
Hang the plasma
right over the
Slip 'N Slide.
Sire, a word.
Jowls, my man.
Guess what your
enlightened,
all-powerful ruler
has brought
to the castle?
Oh, I can't wait to hear this.
Don't tell me.
A Renaissance painting.
Foosball, you know?
Foosball!
F-F-F-Foosball?
What does he think this is,
a pub?
Just because we don't
have opposable thumbs
doesn't mean we
don't play bar games.
Yes, sire, but I feel
your life is in danger.
Listen, Winnebago
if I may call you that
when history
speaks of me,
and she will, I want
to be remembered
as the "Party Prince."
As you wish.
You chaps know me
I'm no snob.
Right? But this cat is too much.
[scoffs]:
He's an embarrassment to our whole way of life.
Oh, he's a disgrace
to the furry race.
"My pillow isn't soft enough.
My TV remote won't work."
Don't get your knickers
in a twist.
I know he's a pain in the neck,
but we just got to keep him
safe till Monday.
[quacking fanfare]
GARFIELD:
Yeah. My loyal
and fragrant subjects, please.
Thank you.
Briefly, I
hate Mondays.
Just hate 'em.
Therefore, I decree,
from this day forward,
there will be no more Mondays.
-What?
-What?
Got it? Today is Tuesday, then.
Happy Tuesday, everybody.
Yeah, I think he's lost it.
Like I said,
we just got to keep him safe
till Tuesday.
Hello, Rommel.
Ah-ha-ha!
I have a present for you.
Prince's favorite pillow.
[barking, snarling]
Sniffy, sniffy, Rommel.
Sniffy, sniffy.
Ooh, bad pillow. Ooh!
Kill kitty.
Kill kitty.
[snickering]
Oh, what a clever boy.
Eat the cat.
Yum, yum, yum.
I think you're ready.
Uh-oh, here comes trouble.
Eat the pussycat.
There's a good chap.
Operation Feline Protection
under way.
I'm on it. Hoo-hoo!
Yeah, yeah.
[barking]
Oops.
Bon apptit.
Here, kitty, kitty.
Come to Rommel.
Where are you,
my little furry friend?
Hello, Rommel.
Eat kitty.
No, no kitty, Rommel.
But we have something
better to chew on.
No kitty?
That's right: No kitty.
Bring Lord Dargis's
new trousers, please.
Pig, the trousers!
Uh, trousers.
Thank you, Sam.
And now, Rommel,
how about
a nice tug of war?
Yeah.
Ooh! Lord Dargis
better watch out
next time
Rommel's on the loose.
[snarling]
[whistling]
Hello, Smithee.
You're in good spirits today,
sir.
Yes. For some reason I feel
a great burden has been lifted.
A burden, sir?
What do you make of
my new suit, Smithee?
Hmm?
Oh, very smart, sir.
Oh, Smithee, I've invited Miss
Westminster for tea on Monday,
and it's extremely important
she feel welcome.
Why don't you bring up a bottle
of the very best champagne?
And set out
the Prince Royal china,
silver service.
You know the type of thing.
Very good, sir.
[whistling]
ROMMEL:
Uh, trousers.
DARGIS:
Yes, I'd like to speak
to Miss Westminster, please.
Hello, Rommel.
Did we enjoy
our little snack, then, hmm?
Trousers.
Ah, Miss Westminster...
Trousers!
Care to pop over
and have a little...
[screaming]
RUGBY FAN 1:
Oggy! Oggy! Oggy!
RUGBY FANS:
Oi! Oi! Oi!
Oggy! Oggy! Oggy!
FANS:
Oi! Oi! Oi!
[all cheering]
-LIZ: Isn't this fantastic?
-JON: Yeah.
Who ordered the pasta?
-Oh, it's for the kitty.
-Oh, good Lord.
What gruel is this?
[barks]
Quite right, old boy.
They must have given me yours.
Garfield, since when
do you say no to lasagna?
You do realize I'm a cat,
don't you, sir?
You know, he doesn't
seem like himself.
He's probably
just a little jet-lagged.
I suppose I should probably
force down a bite or two
to keep up my strength.
Oh. It does have
a unique texture.
So, Liz, I don't know
if you've noticed,
but I've been
kind of anxious to, um...
[fans shouting]
[laughing]:
Why am I clapping?
I'm sorry.
What were you saying?
PRINCE:
Oh, spot on.
Never have I tasted its equal!
Oh!
Oh, Garfield,
that's gross!
[laughing]
Please, sir,
may I have some more?
Oh! Does a Great Dane live here?
It's a Carlyle log, my lord:
A savory of liver and spleen
served in a sleeve
of sheep's intestines.
And you're supposed to eat it?
What is this, "Fear Factor"?
Intestines? Spleen?
I'm the king, right?
Prince, actually.
Same difference.
I rule, yes?
WI NSTON:
Yes, Your Highness.
Great. Then feed this
to the humans
and just bring me a piping hot
dish of lasagna, okay?
I'll see to it
at once, sire.
Now it says
we add the ricotta cheese.
Ducks!
You're supposed
to sift
the flour, not sit in it!
Don't yell at us.
We're not the ones who drank
all the cooking sherry.
[hiccups]
[singing]
Hmm. Carrots make
everything better,
and it can't hurt lasagna.
What the heck is...?
[egg splats]
That was close.
WI NSTON:
Now slip in the eggs,
ooze in the tomatoes.
Now stir the
whole thing up
in a bowl and let the bowl...
Okay.
You know what
I'm talking about.
Hold it
right here,
all you animals.
What goes on
here, Winston?
[laughs]:
We're preparing
the royal lasagna, sire.
Unless you prefer
another dish.
Did you say "dish"?
Lasagna's not
a dish, windbag.
It's a way of life,
a state of being.
Man's one perfect achievement.
What did the Indians serve
to the Pilgrims?
Lasagna.
What did Marie Antoinette
scream to the rabble?
"Let them eat lasagna."
What did Neil Armstrong say
when he landed
on the moon?
"That's one small slice
of lasagna."
It's not a dish.
It's the stuff of dreams.
It's the food of the gods.
It's what's for lunch.
Yeah, well, the problem is,
it seems we've mucked it up.
You just need a little
guidance, that's all.
[fast-tempo,
surf guitar riff playing]
Where's the flour?
Who's got it?
[caws]
GARFIELD:
I need a mixing bowl.
One large mixing bowl.
GARFIELD:
And someone to mix it.
Thank you.
[sneezes, sputters, coughs]
Much obliged.
[group singing pop]
Sheba, did you remember
to wash your hooves?
Ladies... thank
you so much.
Strike. Strike. Strike.
A little outside.
Step on it,
will you?
I need that dough.
Yeah, we'll need
about a half a pound of this.
[squawks]:
What are barnyard animals
doing in the kitchen?
I demand you all leave at once.
This is completely against
my castle health code.
Getting hot in here.
Turn on the exhaust fan,
will you, somebody?
PRESTON:
What are you doing?
Get away from there!
[squawks,
then slams into grate]
GARFIELD:
Sorry!
Proof more accidents happen
in the kitchen
than any other room
in the house.
Hey, where did
that big ball of dough go?
All I see are magnificent
ribbons of perfection.
Yo, it's lasagna,
not shish kebab.
Taste that.
Is that too
sweet for you?
[grunting]
One time.
[grunts]
[group singing pop continues]
[laughing]
Whoa!
Here comes the parsley.
All right, bring it back.
Bring it in. Bring it in.
Bring it in.
Bring it back, back, back,
back, back, back, back, back. Good.
We need somebody
with a hard head.
Thank you.
[sighs]
It's out of
our hands now.
[inhales deeply]
[growling happily]
[animals exclaiming
with pleasure]
EENI E:
This lasagna's fabulous!
Oh!
That's a bit of
all right, that is.
Those Italians got it right,
didn't they?
Mmm! Oh!
Two cheeses.
That is delicious!
Yeah, not bad on short notice.
It's beautiful!
What'd I tell you?
If you'd just let me be your
king and lead you, all right?
Any more?
CHRISTOPHE: Oh, one more piece.
-EENI E: Oh!
-Would anyone mind if I...?
-I, CLAUDI US: It's mine!
-DALMATIAN: I would!
-I, CLAUDI US: Move!
-WI NSTON: Easy, easy!
-Hold up a moment!
-NIGEL: I said it's mine!
That piece has
Nigel's name on it.
Uh-oh.
[all arguing]
Please, I command you.
[glass smashing]
Leave room for dessert.
DARTS ANNOUNCER [over TV]:
Here it is, one step...
A half-inch adjustment
from his last shot!
Oh, nearly!
Oh, heavens, I fear
there was something urgent
to which I was supposed
to attend,
and yet I can't for the life of
me begin to recall what it was.
[giggles]:
You really like it?
I do. It's great.
Thank you.
Let me see.
I got to go.
Are you sure I
can't go with you
to this castle
tour thing?
They won't mind.
It's a Conservancy function
for speakers only.
I guess the woman
who owned the place
was a big animal lover.
You hang with the guys.
Odie could use a walk,
and Garfield could use...
...some serious ab work.
Anyway, I'll be back soon.
Have fun, boys.
My entire world seems to
revolve
around napping,
television and lasagna.
Still, I'm plagued by a vague
notion of a duty unfulfilled.
Oh, well.
Back to sleep.
What is it, woof-woof?
"Castles of England"?
Good Lord!
There it is!
Carlyle Castle
on the Upper Thames.
Oh, brilliant, Odie.
All this time, I took you for...
well, a complete simpleton.
Now destiny calls.
To the battlements!
Sound the horns!
For king and country!
Farewell, my loyal squire.
The legend cont...
[gasps]
What, ho!
[screaming]
Garfield?
Okay, sore bottom, a little
disoriented, but undeterred.
Garfield!
Now, which way is the river?
[sniffing]
I think this way.
JON:
Garfield!
Sorry, Jon.
Oh, here it is.
Now one needs
some kind of conveyance.
-[horn tooting]
-Oh, hello.
Oh, it's an awfully long way
down, but I must,
and I shall, and I...
[screaming]
Ow.
Well, Miss Westminster,
I have the papers
all drawn up.
We need only sign them,
and it's on to
the ground breaking.
Oh, that's wonderful.
I would like to move forward
as soon as possible.
Just think.
Bulldozers, paving machines
busily transforming this dump
into beautiful luxury condos.
You and I striding
through centuries of dust
like giants surveying
our emerging empire.
Two proud parents.
I-I'll just check on Smithee.
See if tea is ready.
-[quacking]
-[barks]
Filthy monsters!
Come back here,
you smelly creature!
Come here!
Pigs, mark your man!
[Grunting]
Come here,
you smelly individual!
[Squeals]
You know what?
I got two words for that guy.
"You're fired."
If only it were
that simple, sire.
[clucking]
Swine!
Is there a problem, sir?
Is there a problem?
There's a bull drinking
my champagne,
the pool's full
of wild animals,
and a pig just
tried to kill me.
Yes! I would say
there was a problem.
I'll tend to it, sir.
You'll tend
to it immediately!
And we'll have tea indoors.
Do you think you
could handle that?
Thank you.
There's a good chap.
Oh!
Has there been an accident?
I'm afraid tea will have to wait
till later, Miss Westminster.
Oh.
[chattering]
He's about 42
and a half pounds.
He has orange fur,
more like a burnt sienna.
And he answers
to the name Garfield.
I-E-L-D.
[typing]
Okay,
well, fortunately, Scotland Yard
isn't very busy this week.
So, uh, we'll put together
a task force
and our best men
and, uh, turn all
our resources and attention
towards finding your fat cat.
Really?
No.
[whines]
-Come on, Odie.
-[barks]
[clanging]
Now, Rommel,
it's really quite simple.
Uh...?
Me... Prince.
Prince... me.
Provider of food...
Food.
Right, governor.
Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm!
Yum, yum.
Kill...
Kitty!
Attaboy, Rommel! There you go!
Well done!
That's the spirit!
Bad boy! Bad boy!
Go on, get along!
[groans]
Smithee.
How are you?
Do me a favor.
Have that polished.
There's a good chap.
So, what's on
your mind, Smithee?
Uh...
Mr. Hobbs's office called.
Are the solicitors
convening again, sir?
It's nothing at all,
Smithee.
Papers to sign.
You know boring.
Incidentally,
when did you
last have
a holiday, Smithee?
Holiday, sir?
I can't remember.
-Seriously, man?
-Mm.
What an embarrassing
oversight on my part.
I insist you have a week's
holiday, starting today.
Oh, I don't know.
I don't think...
Oh, Smithee, I won't
hear a word of it.
I can just see you
cycling in the Dordogne,
fighting the wild boar
in Tristan da Cunha.
Farewell, wind to your sails
and bon voyage, Smithee.
Well, then...
thank you... sir.
[indistinct conversations]
JON:
What am I going to do?
How am I supposed to find
Garfield?
-London's really... big.
-[Odie barks]
I don't care about some
alien love baby, okay?
I'm worried about Garfield.
[barks]
Odie, you know what?
You're being a real...
"Lady Eleanor of Carlyle
has left her entire estate
to her beloved cat,
Prince the 12th."
Maybe someone mistook this cat
for Garfield.
Odie, come on.
Come on, buddy!
The Venetian crystal chandeliers
in this room were commissioned
by the Third Earl of Carlyle
in the late 18th century.
Over here, we have several
family portraits painted
by the Dutch master
Van Dyck.
These are amongst
the many treasures
to be found at Carlyle.
[singing]
-PRESTON: Oh, hogwash!
-Huh?
I tell you, this cat is
mocking us at every turn.
WI NSTON:
Preston, calm yourself.
We're only doing what is
best for everybody.
PRESTON:
How much longer must we sustain this charade?
I can't believe this cat
is so stupid as to think
he's actually royalty.
Well, he does, and house cat
or not, we need him.
Wha...? House cat?
Just have a little patience.
Patience? Ha!
Admit it, Winston.
This buffoon couldn't groom
the paws of a real king.
Buffoon?!
[acoustic guitar plays
sad melody]
##
##
Golly, this is without a doubt
my all-time crummiest moment.
Huh?
Jon.
Man, I've been such
a stupid, selfish cat.
[sniffling]
I've lost my friend.
I've got to find him.
The original medieval kitchen
has stood
on this site since 1485...
Yes, yes, it's big.
It's old and it's musty.
Uh, Lord Dargis, uh,
please meet the tour group
from the Royal
Animal Conservancy.
Oh! By all means,
save the little darlings.
That's my motto.
Big fan of Free Willy,
Born Free,
all the Free movies.
Bravo! Now off you go.
If you come this way,
we'll visit some of the
underground passages,
one of which...
Hello. Welcome to
Carlyle Castle, my dear.
Thank you.
It's, it's beautiful.
Well, that makes
two of you.
Did I mention how much
I abhor fox hunting?
Unless, of course,
in self-defense.
-Bye.
-If I may...
Uh, one question, uh...?
Liz.
Ah, the same as our own
dear queen. Cordial?
-One question, Liz.
-Liz?
What would you say
if I were to donate
one of my priceless
oil paintings
to your conservancy?
Um... Thank you?
Mm! But how
would you say it?
That royal sleaze
is hitting on Liz.
Perhaps you would consider
dining with me
at the castle tonight?
Nobody hits on my best friend's
girlfriend... and succeeds.
Yoo-hoo! Mr. Pinata-Head.
[growling]:
You!
Me?
Excuse me for one moment.
-Sure, but...
-Mi castle es su castle.
-DARGIS: Aha!
-GARFIELD: Not now!
-Your nine lives are up!
-[doorbell rings]
GARFIELD:
No. No, not now.
Good Lord,
do these people never sleep?
GARFIELD:
Oh, why now?
Ah, Mr. Hobbs,
punctual as usual.
Just taking out the rubbish.
Won't be a jiffy.
GARFIELD [whimpering]:
Oh, please!
Okay, you got me.
GARFIELD:
Oh, you are so stupid.
Dungeon.
GARFIELD:
I'm just a cat!
GARFIELD [crying]:
Oh... Please! I'm so weak...
and, and you're so strong,
so powerful.
[Garfield grunts]
[lock rattles]
GARFIELD:
You creep!
There's more than one way
to skin a royal cat.
I'm not a royal cat!
I'm a self-centered house cat!
Hey! Wait! Wait!
What, you think I'm going
to crack in here?
Uh-uh. No.
This is gonna be a treat.
I'm finally gonna have
some quality alone time.
I'm gonna write that novel
I've been putting off.
I'm gonna learn a couple
of foreign languages,
and I'm gonna start a whole
new workout regimen.
I'm gonna lose all this.
Get myself
in top physical condition.
Thank you! Yeah!
Ha, ha!
I love it here!
You've done me
an enormous favor!
Who's laughing now?
[laughing]
[laughter fades]
[laughter resumes]
[sighs]
[grunting]
It's nice to get away
from the urban sprawl.
"Carlyle, 28 miles."
Going my way?
[grunts]
Piece of cake, really.
JON:
So we make a left up ahead.
[barks]
Oh. Right turn.
Thanks, buddy.
I'm afraid
there's just no sign of him.
Really? Well, then...
let's make it official.
Well, if we must, we must.
Then there's the time
I got hit by that car...
and the time that I ate
that six-day-old halibut.
Hey, that's only seven lives.
I got two more.
All right, I'm gonna
get out of this.
[stone scrapes, clatters]
Bingo!
Winston and I have come
to your rescue.
Took you long enough.
What, did you finally hear
my stomach growling?
No, but we heard your tiresome
monologue. Bad halibut, indeed.
[stone scraping]
Let's get you out of here,
Your Royal Highness.
Winster.
The solicitors are here.
We have to move quickly.
Huh.
Uh, then we luncheon,
Your Royal Highness.
Yeah, you can drop that shtick,
drool boy.
I heard you
and the bird.
How about the house cat part?
I loved that.
Aw, all right, all right.
So we weren't exactly honest.
We had to do it.
What would
you have done?
Save your breath, chubby cheeks.
I shall abdicate my throne
and return to my TV chair.
You were our only hope.
The only hope of the hopeless.
What do they want, blood?
I have been eating and sleeping
my heart out for these animals
still not enough.
Like I'm not as good
as a royal cat could be.
Huh?
Hmm...
[Garfield humming]
Hmm?
Hmm...
Hmm?
Blah!
Hmm?
[Garfield groans]
[glass squeaks]
[exhaling]
[Prince groans]
Aha! I so knew you weren't me.
And you must be Garfield.
How do you know my name?
I've lived your life
for the past few days.
Yes, if ever a man loved a cat,
it's your Jon.
Return to him, Garfield.
Return to your home.
Your Highness, you don't have
to tell me twice. Bye-bye.
Sire, thank heavens.
-You've returned.
-The real prince!
The prince is home,
back with us!
It's the real prince
the genuine article.
Yes, my friends,
I have returned to you
at this, our darkest hour.
So, Winny, what exactly is
Lord Dargis up to?
He intends to level our homes
and kill us all.
O... kay.
[clears throat]
Well, in that case, I decree
that we pack our bags
and get our scraggy bottoms
out of here.
Perhaps to the castle next door.
-Oh, boy.
-What?!
[sarcastically]:
Well, that was inspirational.
Brilliant.
I am so fired up.
You know, I have to believe
we can do better.
I thought you were leaving.
Hey, button the beak,
Fruit Loops,
or I'll stick that thing on
backwards.
Look, Lord Doofus is
just another bully.
And what do we do to bullies?
Well, generally,
we run from them.
No, we don't leave.
We stand
and we kick royal butt.
Trust me, if you beasts...
can bake a two-cheese
lasagna,
you can beat Dargis.
Well, do you have a plan,
Garfield?
Tell you what.
For the duration of this battle,
I would prefer
to be called G-Cat.
And we have two plans.
-Oh, teamwork. Oh, yes, yes.
-[animals chatter excitedly]
[panting]
GARFIELD:
Hey, girly dog!
[snarling]
Yeah, you girly girl!
You're such a silly sissy dog!
[barking]
GARFIELD:
Go! Go!
PRINCE:
The game is afoot.
[Rommel barking in distance]
-Sissy, silly dog.
-[barking]
You don't move so good, bozo!
[barking]
Uh-oh!
Here, kitty-kitty.
[panting]
GARFIELD:
Yoo-hoo!
-Oh, Mr. Stinky Dog.
-[growling]
Hey, loco.
Oh, no!
Run away!
GARFIELD:
Oh, yay-yip-yip-yahoo!
Yahoo!
Yow-yow-ya-ya-yip-yip-yip-yahoo!
DARGIS [sadly]:
The loss of Prince...
I'm not quite
sure that...
any of us will ever
get over it.
Prince and Carlyle Court
were... were one.
Sometimes, it's, it's almost
as if his...
his spirit was still...
His spirit's still what?
...still ro-roaming
the grounds.
I wonder if you could
excuse me for a little...
Do you hear running water?
I-I won't be long.
He's a bit of a tool,
don't you think?
[doorbell rings]
Yes?
Lord Dargis. Am I early?
Only just, Miss Westminster.
Only just.
Please, please. Please.
I was just
finishing something.
I wonder if you'd like
to wait in the library.
[whimpers]
Okay.
Make yourself at home.
Have a seat.
Thank you. Um...
PRINCE:
Tally-ho!
Oh! On the other hand,
this simply won't do.
-Why?
-Smithee's been painting again.
I can't smell anything.
Oh, you never can,
my darling.
Next thing you know,
you're salsa dancing
in your knickers.
-What?
-I won't be long.
[growls]
[grunts]
MR. HOBBS:
Ah! Mr. Dargis,
will we be starting
sometime today?
Absolutely, Mr. Hobbs.
PRINCE:
Hello again.
[Dargis screams]
-What's the matter?
-Matter with what?
-You screamed.
-No, I didn't.
Why don't you adjourn
to my study?
And now, I'll retrieve
the papers.
Where are you,
you rat-headed devil?
[grunts]
Oh, no!
Yoo-hoo, Mr. Fancy-pants.
[groans]
Wait till I get
my hands on you!
Ha-ha! He's brilliant!
[groans]
[groans]
GARFIELD [in Brooklyn accent]:
Dargis!
I got two words for youse:
Me. Yow.
Come here, you!
Oh, no, you won't do.
I specifically requested
a feline masseuse.
[screams]
[Dargis groans]
[Dargis yelling]
Somebody get this thing
off of me!
Hey, bozo!
-[growls]
-Yeah, you, buster!
GARFIELD:
Hey!
[screams]
Stupid, red-haired,
flea-bitten...
Whoa-aah!
[grunting and groaning]
Lord Da... What is...?
What is that?
-I felt a slight chill.
-What?
I thought a simple wrap
would be just the ticket.
-There!
-There what?
There is absolutely no reason
why you can't have
a cool, refreshing drink
to make you feel calmer
in this steamy weather.
Wait in the room.
Stupid cat!
Nobody makes an idiot out of me.
[grunting]
[whimpers, body thuds]
[visor squeaks]
Oopsie-daisy.
Medic!
PRINCE:
Well done, old man.
GARFIELD:
Thank you.
Never seen a welcome mat
on the way out.
[grunts]
GARFIELD:
Get your cameras ready, ladies.
DARGIS:
Come back here, you flea-bitten monster!
[chickens clucking]
-[ducks quacking]
-GARFIELD: Oops! Oh, no!
[taunting blubber]
[panting and grunting]
Ooh!
[panting]
[grunting]
[gasping]
ROMMEL:
Trousers!
[Dargis screams]
[barking]
[Dargis screams]
[barking]
-Trousers!
-[screaming]
[gasps]
McBUNNY:
Target sighted!
DARGIS [mumbling]:
Shaken him off.
Pull!
-Take that!
-[clay shattering]
-And that!
-[Dargis screams]
-Down a bit. Down a bit. Up.
-Bob's your uncle!
[grunting]
Good Lord, it's a conspiracy!
[Rommel barks in distance]
[barking]
Oh, dear.
Trousers!
DARGIS [echoing]:
Smithee!
JON:
Excuse me, sir.
Is that Carlyle Castle?
It is.
Maybe you can help me.
Have you seen a cat
that looks like this?
Ah, yeah... that's Prince,
the cat of Carlyle.
[whimpers]
It's also Garfield,
the cat of the cul-de-sac.
Do you mean to say,
you have a cat
that's Prince's doppelganger?
No, I'm saying
they look exactly alike.
And there's a chance
they may have gotten mixed up.
I see.
There you are, man.
Good God! What happened
to your clothes?
Indeed, it's been
that kind of day.
Mr. Dargis, I demand
an explanation.
[voice cracking]:
I had no choice.
The cat just won't die.
What did you say?
You will sign the deeds
over to me, cat or no cat.
Oh, my!
Mr. Hobbs, you were right.
Lord Dargis was willing
to go to any lengths
to get the estate.
I can see you're busy.
I'm just gonna...
Uh! Young lady.
Get over there.
Traitoress. You were working
with them all along!
JON:
Odie! Odie, wait for me!
Odie!
DARGIS:
Get on with it!
PRINCE:
Hello, everyone.
Sorry I'm late.
Shall I ring for tea?
Well, it's Prince,
and he's alive!
GARFIELD:
I am bushed.
All this running-for-my-life
stuff.
What say we break for lunch,
take a quick nap
and pick it up later?
Sound good?
There are two
of you little monsters, hmm?
For those keeping score
at home, that's 18 lives.
MR. HOBBS:
This is unbelievable!
-HOBBS: Two cats?!
-DARGIS: No matter.
I have plenty of ammunition.
-Aah!
-[Odie growling]
Something's biting me!
[screaming]
[growling]
Odie, let him go!
Help! Oh!
Your lunatic dog
just bit my bottom!
[laughter]
All right.
Well played, you.
GARFIELD:
Hey, look, it's Little Jon.
PRINCE:
Good show, old man.
I'll go quietly.
Jon?
-Liz?
-What's going on?
Well, hello, my dear.
Hello.
And not a moment too soon.
-[gasping]
-GARFIELD & PRINCE: Uh-oh!
Is this part of the tour?
-Let her go.
-All in good time.
Now if you'll be so kind...
Okay, stay calm.
Okay?
Mr. Hobbs, the papers, please.
I've seen enough.
You want to call in your weasel?
PRINCE:
Sic him, Nigel.
Oi! I'm a ferret.
And I mean business...
trouser-leg business!
Ooh... [screams]
NIGEL:
I'll take a leg, please.
Ooh, on second thought,
I'll have some white meat.
Aah! Good Lord!
There's a wild animal
in my trousers!
[grunts]
[whimpers, body thuds]
Hoo-dee-doo-dee-doo.
Uh, who's next then, eh?
Glass jaw.
He can dish it out,
but he can't take it.
That was amazing!
Are-Are you okay?
Yeah, I...
I never felt better.
PRESTON:
Well done, Garfield.
I was rooting for you
the whole time.
Did you hear something?
Yes, one did.
I'm here to discuss
my new position in your...
SMITHEE:
There he is, gentlemen.
Come along.
There's a good boy.
Oh... It was the animals,
you know.
Plotting, planning,
every one of them against me!
I assume that
will be all, sir.
Smithee.
He'll vouch for me.
Smithee!
PRINCE:
Odie, thank you.
You're a hero
and a gentleman.
Whoa. There are
two Garfields?
Well, how can you
tell them apart?
Oh, you forgot imbecile.
-That's Garfield.
-Garfield.
Liz, I've been...
I've been trying
to get the courage up
to ask you something
all week.
-Uh-huh.
-And, uh...
Oh, come on...
Really?
[mumbling]:
Looking for something?
Thanks, pal.
Liz, will you marry me?
[sighs happily]
Yes.
Aw...
You know a dog's mouth
is cleaner than a human's?
-[rock beat plays]
-Come on! The coast is clear!
[group singing pop]
[animals cheering]
Hooray!
McBUNNY:
Let's hear it for the cats!
Hooray!
Go, Garfield.
That's right. Come on!
Do you do
the Carlyle jig?
It goes like this.
[chuckling]
Can you do this?
Oh, boogaloo.
[chuckles]
[chuckling]:
Jolly good.
Bust a move, man.
No, it's something
like this here.
PRINCE:
And so, my loyal subjects,
I leave you
with a final legacy.
Cannonball!
[animals groaning]
[moos]
[bleating]
[animals chatting excitedly]
Brilliant party, sire.
[chuckling]
GARFIELD:
Yeah, when the going gets tough...
the great ones party.
[grunting]
[Odie barking]
[bleating]
Who wants to play
Marco Polo?
HOGS:
Marco!
I refuse to partake in this
sinful display of hedonism.
Oh! Those nuts look good.
Get a load of this!
Bombs away...!
I love this pond.
We rule the pool, goosey.
Give me some feathers!
[group singing pop continues]
GARFIELD [chuckling]:
Watch the ears.
Thank you.
Oh, you're so kind.
[Odie barks]
Odie, could you
beat it, please?
It's good to be king.
[group singing pop continues]
[group singing pop continues]
[song ends]
[mid-tempo rock beat plays]
[man singing]
[woman vocalizing]
[man singing]
##
[woman vocalizing]
##
[man singing]
[woman vocalizing]
[man singing]
[woman vocalizing]
[song ends]
[fast-tempo surf guitar
instrumental playing]