Garfield on the Town (1983) Movie Script
Good morning, morning.
Guess I'll get up,
wake Jon, exercise.
Unless, of course,
that floor is cold.
I hate cold floors.
I'm not getting out of bed if
that floor is the
slightest bit chilly.
[SNEEZE]
It's freezing.
Too bad.
[SIGHS]
I'm hungry.
Hungry, Garfield?
You guessed it, buster.
Okie dokie.
Here you go.
No thanks, I couldn't
possibly eat another bite.
Well its just another crazy day
The kind that drives the news
away
bounce on top of the walls
Hangin' on with the claws
Just another crazy day
Just another lazy boring
silly willy nilly mornin'
Just another crazy boring
silly willy nilly mornin'
lovin' crazy ordinary day!
And they say, pets are
therapeutic
So, there you are.
Where's Odie?
Mm boys, boys, boys.
Just look at this room!
What am I going to do with you
two?
Giving you away at the
supermarket comes to mind.
A one-way ticket to the city
pound, seems like a good idea.
Right now, even taxidermy sounds
terrific.
I work and slave for you, and do
I get any thanks for it?
No, I don't.
What do I get?
A demolition derby in my living
room.
That's it, Garfield.
This is not normal for you.
You're hyper active and that's
serious.
I think it's time for a trip, to
the vet.
No, no, not...
The vet!
Garfield!
Garfield, quit playing with the
power seat!
Now, sit still.
That's a good boy.
Jon, what happened?
Hey, watch it!
Cat in the road, careful!
I'm free.
No vet.
No Jon.
No Odie.
He's out on the town
Makin' some tracks
Livin' alone all unattached
but he's cool
He's cool He's calm, He's...
Startin' from scratch
Loaded with charm
A cat without fear
Look out baby! Garfield is here!
But he's cool, he's cool
he's calm, he's...
Startin' from scratch
This could be my time to howl.
Aroo!
What's happening, baby?
Take a hike, Jack!
Aroo!
Hey, how about you and me doing
something beautiful, darling.
Can it, creep.
Aroo.
Hey, honey, what's your sign?
Suck air, bozo.
He's out on the town
Hittin' the streets
This is a cat with
the world at his feet
but he's cool he's cool
He's calm he's calm
He's cold.
I'm cold.
And he misses his house.
I miss my house.
May I speak with
Dr. Wilson, please?
Yes, I'll hold.
Dr. Wilson.
Hi Doc, this is
Jon Arbuckle uh, you know,
Garfield's owner?
Oh, Garfield.
What, now?
Well, I was taking
him to see you...
Mm-hm.
When he suddenly disappeared
and I'm not even sure how...
Mm-hm.
And, and it was near
the pet hospital there,
and I thought somebody might
have brought him
in, and, well...
Well, what?
I was afraid he, could have
been, you know uh, hit by
a car or something.
Oh, well in that case, you
don't want a pet hospital.
You want a tow truck.
Well, thanks for your, concern.
Boy, it's starting to get dark.
No sweat, I can take care of
myself.
Fact, might be fun to rumble for
some exercise.
Just let someone try something.
I'll give em the old hi-yah.
Yah, ah!
Shadow!
Ah, I knew it was you all along.
Don't ever do that again, okay?
Okay.
You hungry?
Me too.
Let's find a place to eat.
Ah, this looks good.
Galvanized.
Not one of those cheap plastic
places.
Bon appetit.
Yuck!
Uh, you're out of your
territory, ain't you fella?
Hi.
This is my garbage can.
You mean, you eat here?
Mm-hm.
Hey, how great I mean,
for you to have so much,
considering the
current economic situation.
Well, I gotta be going.
Uh, it's not that easy,
Puffball.
Puffball?
Did you just call me Puffball?
Oh, that offends you?
I'm sorry, Lardball.
Well, that does it!
Me and my shadow were just
talking about getting a little
exercise.
Piece of cake.
This is not good.
Come on, will you?
Well, Shadow, I guess it's just
you and me.
Let's take em!
Good idea.
Wait for me!
Hey, this place smells familiar.
Garfield?
Do I know you?
Think back, Garfield.
Mom?
My little boy.
My, you've gotten fat.
Hey!
Hello, want ads?
Lost and found, please.
Hi,
I wanna run an ad.
Missing: a beautiful, orange
striped tabby cat uh, of
the large bone persuasion,
answering
to the name of Garfield.
Uh, when found, he'll probably
be hungry.
His uh, his favorite food is
lasagna,
but uh, but he'll take almost
any
other kind of pasta dish, say a
deep dish Cavatini, heavy on the
meat sauce.
Let's see, upon finding
Garfield,
please contact Jon Arbuckle
anytime at 555-7722 uh,
in appreciation, a generous
reward is being offered.
Uh, I guess that's it.
Oh, by the way, how much will it
cost?
How much?
Well uh, in that case, have it
read, Lost.
Fat, orange-striped cat.
Reward.
Thank you.
Good morning, Garfield.
Oh, good morning, Mom.
For a minute there, I thought I
was dreaming.
Oh, this is real.
Believe me.
Mom, this place smells so
familiar, it's just driving me
crazy.
Where are we?
Why, you're home, Garfield.
Home?
Yes, this used to be the
kitchen of an Italian
restaurant, you were...
Oh, oh, I'm starting to
remember.
There was a table over there...
Yes.
And there was a stove
over there...
Yes.
And a big fat guy
with a mustache.
You do remember.
I do remember.
And over there, that's
where you were born.
Home again
From where you never know
You can call a friend
You see the love light shining
And you know
You are home
Whoa!
Home to stay
Now, I remember everything.
Follow me, Garfield.
I wonder where we're going.
I, I think we found him.
Oh, boy, oh, boy.
Yep, that's Lardball, alright?
Oh, boy, oh, boy.
We're gonna be heroes!
Much smaller than I
remembered it.
This is your family, Garfield.
Family?
My family?
Well, cousins mostly.
Gee, they're so skinny.
Dear, times are tough,
even for mousers.
Mousers?
You mean you uh,
you uh, uh...
Every chance we get.
Yuck!
Come, dear, meet the family.
Garfield, this is your cousin,
Sly.
Hi, Sly.
What's happening?
How's it going?
How you doing?
Doesn't seem too friendly.
He's on duty, dear.
Sly is our watch cat.
Watch cat, huh?
Hey Sly, watch this.
Fun family.
I can't wait to...
And uh, this is Raul, your
brother.
Wow, man, that's the first
time I ever seen one of them.
Part cat, part house.
Must be one of them housecats.
That's pretty good.
Housecat Housecat, hysterical.
So, listen, everything cool?
Uh, maybe we could hang out
sometime?
Uh, pardon me, bros, I
gotta catch a few more z's.
This is so great, I'm just
having a ball.
Raul isn't well.
I'm not doing that good myself.
Garfield, this is your
grandfather.
Father, I'd like for you to meet
Garfield.
Hi, pleased...
You're soft, boy.
Too proud to work for a living?
Well, I...
So, you want to be a
mouser ay, boy?
No, I, I, do I?
Well,
if you want to stay here, you
do.
We have a tradition to uphold,
my boy.
Your father, your great
grandfather, your
great-great grandfather, we've
always been mousers.
Are they here?
They drop in from time to time.
Garfield, you come from a long
line of bachelors.
Hoh.
Incoming!
Topside, topside battle
stations!
Battle stations, everybody!
Quick, now, topside, topside!
Get ready to fight, dear.
Fight?
You know, there's too much
fighting
in the world, don't you think?
Oh, cut the philosophy,
chubbs, move it.
Thanks, I needed that.
Oh, oh, ooh, any time, oh,
uh.
Everybody, get organized.
What's happening?
It's the Claws.
The Claws?
We haven't had trouble
with them for a long time.
I wonder what they want.
I think, I can guess.
We bad
We the claws
We bad
We the claws
We bad
We tough
When it comes to fightin'
we can't get enough
better run home to your
mom and your dad
'cause we tough we bad
We the claws
We tough
We gonna fight
We mean
We're gonna tangle
like to keep our territory
If you step across the line
you're hurt
'cause we tough we bad
you may be tough
We the claws
but we are tougher
We bad
Can't beat us We the Claws!
We bad!
What do you want?
Lardball!
They want someone called
Lardball.
Yeah, that fat orange
striped wimp, we know
he's in there, so we'll make it
real simple.
You throw Lardball out, we
leave.
If you don't, we level the
place, your choice.
Hm...
It's tempting.
Oh, he's family.
We fight!
We fight!
Hey, great.
You are weird.
Rumble!
Hey Garfield, watch this.
Look, isn't that Haley's Comet?
Not bad.
Hey, I guess we showed them,
huh?
They won't try that again.
Not with this family!
Lardball, go home.
No, please don't ask me to stay,
I really have to get going.
Garfield?
I'm sorry I let you down, Mom.
Oh, there's nothing to be
sorry about, Garfield.
Not all of us are cut out to be
mousers.
I'll say.
Garfield, this is
really for the best.
You wouldn't survive here.
You have a good life, an easy
life.
We all envy you.
I'll miss you.
I'll always be with you,
Garfield.
And if you ever need me, I'll be
there.
Now, go, dear.
It's starting to get dark.
Garfield, I love you.
I love you too, Mom.
I'm hungry.
I could waste away to normal.
Nah, I'm too tired to be hungry.
Nah, I'm too scared to be tired.
Maybe if I whistle, I won't be
scared.
What am I doing?
Cats can't whistle.
I guess, I'll just lie down here
and
hope for something big to fall
on me.
I can see the headline, now.
Extremely good looking cat
totaled in piano crash.
I'm gonna miss me.
Now, I'm lonely.
What more could possibly go
wrong?
Nice touch.
Hey.
Hey!
Jon!
Jon!
Jon!
Is that you, Garfield?
Thank you.
That was enough for one day.
Lasagna!
Home, Jon.
Leaving mother leaving love
behind
You say I'm not free
But I don't mind
Yes Odie, you found me.
Ya look bad, Garfield.
What a night!
Did that really happen?
Did I really meet my...
Did she really?
Nah.
Thanks, Mom.
For everything.
Guess I'll get up,
wake Jon, exercise.
Unless, of course,
that floor is cold.
I hate cold floors.
I'm not getting out of bed if
that floor is the
slightest bit chilly.
[SNEEZE]
It's freezing.
Too bad.
[SIGHS]
I'm hungry.
Hungry, Garfield?
You guessed it, buster.
Okie dokie.
Here you go.
No thanks, I couldn't
possibly eat another bite.
Well its just another crazy day
The kind that drives the news
away
bounce on top of the walls
Hangin' on with the claws
Just another crazy day
Just another lazy boring
silly willy nilly mornin'
Just another crazy boring
silly willy nilly mornin'
lovin' crazy ordinary day!
And they say, pets are
therapeutic
So, there you are.
Where's Odie?
Mm boys, boys, boys.
Just look at this room!
What am I going to do with you
two?
Giving you away at the
supermarket comes to mind.
A one-way ticket to the city
pound, seems like a good idea.
Right now, even taxidermy sounds
terrific.
I work and slave for you, and do
I get any thanks for it?
No, I don't.
What do I get?
A demolition derby in my living
room.
That's it, Garfield.
This is not normal for you.
You're hyper active and that's
serious.
I think it's time for a trip, to
the vet.
No, no, not...
The vet!
Garfield!
Garfield, quit playing with the
power seat!
Now, sit still.
That's a good boy.
Jon, what happened?
Hey, watch it!
Cat in the road, careful!
I'm free.
No vet.
No Jon.
No Odie.
He's out on the town
Makin' some tracks
Livin' alone all unattached
but he's cool
He's cool He's calm, He's...
Startin' from scratch
Loaded with charm
A cat without fear
Look out baby! Garfield is here!
But he's cool, he's cool
he's calm, he's...
Startin' from scratch
This could be my time to howl.
Aroo!
What's happening, baby?
Take a hike, Jack!
Aroo!
Hey, how about you and me doing
something beautiful, darling.
Can it, creep.
Aroo.
Hey, honey, what's your sign?
Suck air, bozo.
He's out on the town
Hittin' the streets
This is a cat with
the world at his feet
but he's cool he's cool
He's calm he's calm
He's cold.
I'm cold.
And he misses his house.
I miss my house.
May I speak with
Dr. Wilson, please?
Yes, I'll hold.
Dr. Wilson.
Hi Doc, this is
Jon Arbuckle uh, you know,
Garfield's owner?
Oh, Garfield.
What, now?
Well, I was taking
him to see you...
Mm-hm.
When he suddenly disappeared
and I'm not even sure how...
Mm-hm.
And, and it was near
the pet hospital there,
and I thought somebody might
have brought him
in, and, well...
Well, what?
I was afraid he, could have
been, you know uh, hit by
a car or something.
Oh, well in that case, you
don't want a pet hospital.
You want a tow truck.
Well, thanks for your, concern.
Boy, it's starting to get dark.
No sweat, I can take care of
myself.
Fact, might be fun to rumble for
some exercise.
Just let someone try something.
I'll give em the old hi-yah.
Yah, ah!
Shadow!
Ah, I knew it was you all along.
Don't ever do that again, okay?
Okay.
You hungry?
Me too.
Let's find a place to eat.
Ah, this looks good.
Galvanized.
Not one of those cheap plastic
places.
Bon appetit.
Yuck!
Uh, you're out of your
territory, ain't you fella?
Hi.
This is my garbage can.
You mean, you eat here?
Mm-hm.
Hey, how great I mean,
for you to have so much,
considering the
current economic situation.
Well, I gotta be going.
Uh, it's not that easy,
Puffball.
Puffball?
Did you just call me Puffball?
Oh, that offends you?
I'm sorry, Lardball.
Well, that does it!
Me and my shadow were just
talking about getting a little
exercise.
Piece of cake.
This is not good.
Come on, will you?
Well, Shadow, I guess it's just
you and me.
Let's take em!
Good idea.
Wait for me!
Hey, this place smells familiar.
Garfield?
Do I know you?
Think back, Garfield.
Mom?
My little boy.
My, you've gotten fat.
Hey!
Hello, want ads?
Lost and found, please.
Hi,
I wanna run an ad.
Missing: a beautiful, orange
striped tabby cat uh, of
the large bone persuasion,
answering
to the name of Garfield.
Uh, when found, he'll probably
be hungry.
His uh, his favorite food is
lasagna,
but uh, but he'll take almost
any
other kind of pasta dish, say a
deep dish Cavatini, heavy on the
meat sauce.
Let's see, upon finding
Garfield,
please contact Jon Arbuckle
anytime at 555-7722 uh,
in appreciation, a generous
reward is being offered.
Uh, I guess that's it.
Oh, by the way, how much will it
cost?
How much?
Well uh, in that case, have it
read, Lost.
Fat, orange-striped cat.
Reward.
Thank you.
Good morning, Garfield.
Oh, good morning, Mom.
For a minute there, I thought I
was dreaming.
Oh, this is real.
Believe me.
Mom, this place smells so
familiar, it's just driving me
crazy.
Where are we?
Why, you're home, Garfield.
Home?
Yes, this used to be the
kitchen of an Italian
restaurant, you were...
Oh, oh, I'm starting to
remember.
There was a table over there...
Yes.
And there was a stove
over there...
Yes.
And a big fat guy
with a mustache.
You do remember.
I do remember.
And over there, that's
where you were born.
Home again
From where you never know
You can call a friend
You see the love light shining
And you know
You are home
Whoa!
Home to stay
Now, I remember everything.
Follow me, Garfield.
I wonder where we're going.
I, I think we found him.
Oh, boy, oh, boy.
Yep, that's Lardball, alright?
Oh, boy, oh, boy.
We're gonna be heroes!
Much smaller than I
remembered it.
This is your family, Garfield.
Family?
My family?
Well, cousins mostly.
Gee, they're so skinny.
Dear, times are tough,
even for mousers.
Mousers?
You mean you uh,
you uh, uh...
Every chance we get.
Yuck!
Come, dear, meet the family.
Garfield, this is your cousin,
Sly.
Hi, Sly.
What's happening?
How's it going?
How you doing?
Doesn't seem too friendly.
He's on duty, dear.
Sly is our watch cat.
Watch cat, huh?
Hey Sly, watch this.
Fun family.
I can't wait to...
And uh, this is Raul, your
brother.
Wow, man, that's the first
time I ever seen one of them.
Part cat, part house.
Must be one of them housecats.
That's pretty good.
Housecat Housecat, hysterical.
So, listen, everything cool?
Uh, maybe we could hang out
sometime?
Uh, pardon me, bros, I
gotta catch a few more z's.
This is so great, I'm just
having a ball.
Raul isn't well.
I'm not doing that good myself.
Garfield, this is your
grandfather.
Father, I'd like for you to meet
Garfield.
Hi, pleased...
You're soft, boy.
Too proud to work for a living?
Well, I...
So, you want to be a
mouser ay, boy?
No, I, I, do I?
Well,
if you want to stay here, you
do.
We have a tradition to uphold,
my boy.
Your father, your great
grandfather, your
great-great grandfather, we've
always been mousers.
Are they here?
They drop in from time to time.
Garfield, you come from a long
line of bachelors.
Hoh.
Incoming!
Topside, topside battle
stations!
Battle stations, everybody!
Quick, now, topside, topside!
Get ready to fight, dear.
Fight?
You know, there's too much
fighting
in the world, don't you think?
Oh, cut the philosophy,
chubbs, move it.
Thanks, I needed that.
Oh, oh, ooh, any time, oh,
uh.
Everybody, get organized.
What's happening?
It's the Claws.
The Claws?
We haven't had trouble
with them for a long time.
I wonder what they want.
I think, I can guess.
We bad
We the claws
We bad
We the claws
We bad
We tough
When it comes to fightin'
we can't get enough
better run home to your
mom and your dad
'cause we tough we bad
We the claws
We tough
We gonna fight
We mean
We're gonna tangle
like to keep our territory
If you step across the line
you're hurt
'cause we tough we bad
you may be tough
We the claws
but we are tougher
We bad
Can't beat us We the Claws!
We bad!
What do you want?
Lardball!
They want someone called
Lardball.
Yeah, that fat orange
striped wimp, we know
he's in there, so we'll make it
real simple.
You throw Lardball out, we
leave.
If you don't, we level the
place, your choice.
Hm...
It's tempting.
Oh, he's family.
We fight!
We fight!
Hey, great.
You are weird.
Rumble!
Hey Garfield, watch this.
Look, isn't that Haley's Comet?
Not bad.
Hey, I guess we showed them,
huh?
They won't try that again.
Not with this family!
Lardball, go home.
No, please don't ask me to stay,
I really have to get going.
Garfield?
I'm sorry I let you down, Mom.
Oh, there's nothing to be
sorry about, Garfield.
Not all of us are cut out to be
mousers.
I'll say.
Garfield, this is
really for the best.
You wouldn't survive here.
You have a good life, an easy
life.
We all envy you.
I'll miss you.
I'll always be with you,
Garfield.
And if you ever need me, I'll be
there.
Now, go, dear.
It's starting to get dark.
Garfield, I love you.
I love you too, Mom.
I'm hungry.
I could waste away to normal.
Nah, I'm too tired to be hungry.
Nah, I'm too scared to be tired.
Maybe if I whistle, I won't be
scared.
What am I doing?
Cats can't whistle.
I guess, I'll just lie down here
and
hope for something big to fall
on me.
I can see the headline, now.
Extremely good looking cat
totaled in piano crash.
I'm gonna miss me.
Now, I'm lonely.
What more could possibly go
wrong?
Nice touch.
Hey.
Hey!
Jon!
Jon!
Jon!
Is that you, Garfield?
Thank you.
That was enough for one day.
Lasagna!
Home, Jon.
Leaving mother leaving love
behind
You say I'm not free
But I don't mind
Yes Odie, you found me.
Ya look bad, Garfield.
What a night!
Did that really happen?
Did I really meet my...
Did she really?
Nah.
Thanks, Mom.
For everything.