Get Shorty (1995) Movie Script
Is fucking cold outside.
The guy on the radio said
is gonna get down to 34.
Yo, Chili. Are you spacing?
They're closing down the Granville,
that theatre on Biscayne.
The guy owes Momo a couple of Gs.
I know. I think Momo should buy it.
I could run it for him.
Why would Momo want some old theatre
that shows movies no-one watches?
I'd say turn it into
some kind of porno house.
- I'm going to go talk to Chili.
- Besides, you've got a job.
Yeah. Yeah.
- Ray! How you doing?
- Good. You?
OK. Can you believe this weather?
Is Miami Beach, for Chrissakes.
Chili Palmer.
Is chilly outside and is Chili inside.
Is a fucking Chili-fest.
How you doing, Ray?
Obviously much better than you, Chili.
That was a good one!
Hey, when you're done
staring out the window
I'll meet you back at the office.
Hey! Where's my coat?
Is not one of these?
Do you see a black leather jacket
like Pacino's in Serpico?
If you don't, you owe me $379.
But the sign...
I didn't come to Florida to freeze!
You either find my coat or give me
the $379 my ex-wife paid for it.
Puoi spiegare che Signor Barboni
ha prestato...
Wait, Ray Bones took my coat?
He borrow it. Somebody took his coat
so he tried this other coat and it fit good.
That was my coat!
He's not gonna keep it.
My car keys are in that coat.
Mr Barboni is a good customer.
He works for Jimmy Capp.
I know. Where's your phone?
This way.
Are you sure it was Ray Bones
that took the coat?
Yes.
Tomorrow's gonna be warm,
you don't need the coat.
This is it.
Chili, get the coat,
just don't piss the guy off.
We'll straighten it all out with Momo,
he'll be pissed off. We don't need that.
Don't worry. I'll say no more
than I have to, if that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, just a minute.
What are you, fucking nuts?
My nose! My nose!
Uh-oh.
Holy shit!
Somebody call nine,
fucking one, one, one.
What do you want me to do, Ray?
Go to war over a fucking coat?!
You're lucky he didn't kill you,
the coat was a Christmas present!
Jimmy, you gotta do something about
him, he's got no fucking respect for us.
He's got no respect for you!
I don't gotta do shit!
Chili Palmer don't work for me,
he works for Momo in Brooklyn.
As long as Momo's around,
nothing happens to Chili. Understand?
Over here.
We're here, Momo.
I hope you guys checked this place
out good. I don't want no surprises.
Yeah, I checked everything, Momo.
Yeah? Who is it?
Is Momo.
SURPRISE!
You're never gonna sleep again?
No, I'm never going to bed,
there's a difference.
It says most people die in bed.
If I stay out of bed, I'm safe.
Thas the dumbest thing
I ever heard. Where'll you sleep?
In my recliner,
the tan one in the TV room.
Or I'll go to the coffee shop,
pull my hat down.
How many people you know
died in a coffee shop?
You cut straight hair in here
or just fags?
Hey, Bones,
thas quite a scar on your head.
These guys can fit you for a rug,
cover it up.
You two gazers,
take your gape to the park.
This man is the man, you understand
what I'm saying, motherfucker?
You speak to Mr Bones from now on.
You can do better than him.
Not these days,
not unless you speak Spanish.
Leo Devoe's six weeks over.
He's dead.
How do you know? Did he tell you?
Yeah, he told me he was dead.
Personally?
Yeah, he told me he got killed
in a jet crash last month.
Maybe he had flight insurance.
Visit his wife.
You do it, is your book now.
He had a dry-cleaner's on the highway.
Let me explain something.
Momo is dead, so all he had now
belongs to Jimmy Capp, including you.
This means when I speak,
I speak for Jimmy.
E.g., from now on you start
showing me the proper respect.
E.g. means for example. You mean "i.e.".
Bullshit, is short for ergo.
Ask your man.
E.g. means for example.
E.g., i.e., fuck you! The point is that
when I say jump you say OK, OK?!
Yeah, Ray, OK.
Now, you owe me the dry-cleaner's
Get it from his wife or out of your
own pocket, I don't give a fuck,
but never hand me a book with a miss.
We'll see you, Ray.
Go see the dry-cleaner's wife.
You've got three days.
I told you not to piss him off...
Don't say another fucking word, OK?
I hate being inside all day
around all those machines.
Must be hot.
You have no idea how hot it is.
Do you know, Fay, I was wondering,
did Leo have life insurance?
I don't know of any.
Hmm.
I trust you, Chili.
I think you're a decent type of man
even if you are a crook.
Oh. Thank you.
I wish he really was dead.
He's a son of a bitch.
Called himself Larry De Mille.
Hit on every showgirl in town.
Said he was the "Martinizing King
of Miami". What a moron!
He's in LA. We put him on a plane
after he spanked a cocktail girl.
Leo spanked a cocktail girl?
He invites her to play the ponies,
she doesn't want to,
he gives her one on the tush.
My guess, he's at the track right now.
Chili, if you go to LA, this guy owes
us $150,000, some movie producer.
Movie producer?
Yeah.
Why not?
You're gonna love this guy,
another fucking moron - Harry Zimm.
Thanks a bunch. Where is it?
Is right there.
What is that?
Is an Oldsmobile Silhouette.
I ordered a Cadillac.
Thas the Cadillac of mini-vans.
Are you kidding me?
Hey, the car rental's over there,
but I think all they've got
is convertibles.
I guess I'll take the Cadillac
of mini-vans.
Harry!
Harry, wake up,
somebody's downstairs!
Whas wrong?
Somebody's downstairs. Shh!
I don't hear anything.
Right there!
Thas the television.
Harry, I told you to turn off
the television when you were done.
Uh-huh.
I also told you
to sleep in the mais room.
I did that.
I turned the TV off with the remote
and I laid it on the floor.
You know what coulve happened?
The dog came in, stepped on it
and turned it back on.
I don't have a dog, Harry.
You don't?
Oh. What happened to Muffy?
Are you gonna go down there
or shall I?
No, I'll go.
Hurry!
The pool needs a skim.
Harry!
I'm going. I'm going.
I gotta go to the bathroom.
Harry!
I'm going. I'm going.
Jesus!
Have you got a satellite dish?
Yeah.
How many channels do you get?
Probably 40, 50 channels.
Are you on the information
superhighway?
Not yet.
I get 2800 different channels.
Harry Zimm.
Jesus Christ!
How ya doing? I'm Chili Palmer.
If I have a heart attack,
I hope you know what to do.
Where you been?
Have we met?
We just did.
I told you, my name's Chili Palmer.
You're in pictures.
What if I had a heart attack?!
Look at me, Harry.
I'm looking.
Keep looking at me.
Thas what I'm doing!
You know Dick Allen, Mesa's Casino?
You're a collector
for the fucking casino!
You come here in the middle
of the night...
I thought you were an actor!
We'll see about this.
Operator, let me have Las Vegas...
Let me give you some advice.
Don't act hard when you're in your undies.
What you wanna do is
sit down and talk to me.
Harry, a marker is like a cheque...
I know what a marker is!
They don't wanna deposit yours
and have it bounce, that annoys them.
You haven't returned Dick Allen's calls,
so he asked me to look you up.
I follow you here
and I see you with a woman...
Looks like Karen Flores,
who was in Grotesque. Look at me.
Why do I have to look at ya?
I want you to.
So I make good
or you break my legs, huh?
Come on, Harry. Mesa's?
Tell Dick Allen I'll cover
those markers in 60 days.
If he doesn't like it,
thas his problem, the fucking prick!
So, you want me to call you a cab?
You make movies, huh?
I produce feature
motion pictures, no TV.
You mentioned Grotesque. Karen Flores
was actually in Grotesque Part II.
She also starred in three
of my Slime Creatures releases.
I got an idea for a movie.
He'd wear wool hats in Miami
in the middle of summer.
He doesn't want anyone to think he's bald,
so he wears a fucking cap.
Karen! Karen, hey!
Say hello to Chili Palmer.
Chili, this is Karen Flores.
Pleasure to meet you.
How you get in?
He has an idea for a movie,
is not bad so far. Have a drink.
Tell Karen.
Maybe you didn't hear me.
I came in the back door.
You broke in?
It was open. It wasn't locked.
What if it were?
Listen to the idea. A dry-cleaner
scams an airline out of 300 grand.
This guy owes a shylock $15,000.
He's three weeks over on the vig.
Thas the interest.
I know what vig is.
Anyway, this dry-cleaner -
les call him Leo-he's scared.
He leaves town. Leo's on a plane
but it just sits there.
They announce over the PA
there's a mechanical problem.
Ill take an hour
but they're to stay seated.
The guy's nervous
so he gets off the plane,
goes into the cocktail lounge
and starts throwing them down.
He's still in the lounge
when the plane crashes on takeoff.
So when the guy finds out,
he can't believe it.
If he'd stayed on the plane,
he'd be dead.
If everybody thinks he's dead,
he won't have to pay the 15 or the vig.
Keep going.
Leo's wife is brought to the airport
to get any personal effects
that weren't destroyed.
Leo's bags were on the plane,
so the wife tells 'em what to look for.
Ah!
Oh, my Leo! My Leo!
Later, the airline people visit his wife
and offer her a settlement,
based on what he woulve earned
from the dryBcleaner's the rest of his life.
So how much is that?
He gets his wife to cash the cheque
and he goes to Vegas with the dough.
He should call her
to let her know when to come.
She never hears from him,
but he turns the 300,000 into 500,000.
He's winning
and he can't tell anyone who he is!
So we're showing his desire
to be famous.
He's got the dough to buy his way in,
mix with the celebs...
he can't resist, so he comes to LA.
I dunno about the celebrities.
That was just added,
but, yeah, he comes to LA and...
I don't know what happens next.
Thas it, thas your movie?
I said I had an idea for a movie.
Thas half a movie with holes in it.
There's maybe 40 minutes there.
You don't have a girl, a female lead,
or anybody to sympathise with.
- You don't have a good guy.
- The shylock is a good guy.
The shylock is barely mentioned.
And is not believable
the wife'd get a settlement that fast.
Harry doesn't realise
is a true story-that Miami flight?
On the news every day for a week.
Harry must have been busy.
Thas where you got the idea?
Part of it, yeah.
You're not the guy, the dry-cleaner?
Leo.
No, you wouldn't be talking to me.
- No, I'm not the guy, Harry.
- But you do work for the casino?
For Gos sake, he's the shylock.
Thas what you do?
Thas what I did. After I'm done here,
I don't know what I'll do.
Well, I got an early call.
No problemo. Go on up to bed.
Harry, I would like you and your
new buddy to get out of my house.
Oh, yeah. Well, sure.
It was absolutely a pleasure
to meet you, Karen.
Hmm.
I guess there's times you have to get
rough, if one of your customers don't pay.
They always pay.
You pack a gun?
Not really.
Ever been arrested?
I've been picked up for loan sharking
and racketeering, but never convicted.
Racketeering.
Covers a lot of ground, doesn't it?
Get to the point, Harry. You want me
to do something for you?
Thas us.
Good girl. Good girl.
Don't say nothin', just sit
and act like you're waiting.
What you talkin' about?
Give me the fuckin' money.
Sit down.
Now be lookin'.
Man to your right in the blue shirt.
The other way. Derecho.
Thas a federal officer.
Most likely DEA. He moves his leg,
look for the bulge. Savvy "bulge"?
Thas his backup piece.
Try it without lookin' right at him.
Whas your name?
Yayo Portillo.
All right, I'm gonna get up,
when I'm gone you sit in this seat,
under you ass is a key to a locker
where your half million is,
along with some product
we're returning.
Powder's been stepped on
so many times is baby food.
You're supposed to give me
the money yourself!
Try to be cool, yahoo.
I told you where it is. Do it how
I told you, and have a safe trip home.
What you have for breakfast, baby?
How come you weigh so much?
You have a burrito?
OK, give it to the nice lady,
there you go.
Say thank you.
Thank you.
Bye-bye.
Like fucking clockwork, huh, Bear?
Hi, Bo.
Ready to go for a ride, sweetie?
I told you to watch your mouth
round my daughter.
The white zone is for loading only.
These guys, my investors,
they run a limo service,
put money in some of my pictures,
did OK, they're happy.
This was a few months ago,
when I was planning my next picture,
about this band of killer circus freaks.
There's this 700lb fat lady,
has a way of seducing guys...
Harry, look at me.
You're trying to tell me you fucked up
without sounding stupid.
Thas hard to do.
Les talk about where you're at, OK?
You blew 200 grand of their money
in Vegas and didn't tell 'em. Why?
They wouldn't have taken it
with any understanding or restraint.
If you're so scared,
why take it to Vegas to begin with?
I needed half a million to buy a script.
A blockbuster, but quality.
No mutants or maniacs.
This is gonna be my Driving Miss Daisy.
Murray Saffrin who wrote my Grotesque
pictures showed it to me one day,
said he's got a star interested,
would I produce?
Which star?
Two-time Academy Award nominee,
Martin Weir.
Thas Martin Weir!
He played the mob guy in Cyclone.
One of his best parts.
No, his best part was the crippled
gay guy who climbed Mt Whitney.
Ride The Clouds.
The woman, she looks familiar.
She's a rock star.
Every day they have breakfast.
He faces west, so he sees his billboard.
She faces east so she can wear shades.
Anyway, Murray's shrink
is Martin's personal trainer's shrink.
Murray's shrink gives the script
to Martin's trainer, who reads it to Martin.
Martin loves it.
So whas the problem?
Problem is Murray. Heart attack.
Doris, Murray's widow,
hears about the Martin Weir thing,
and because we didn't have a contract,
she wants half a million for the script.
Ah, so you want my dry-cleaner
to invest in your movie.
That, or what if some accident
was to befall the widow Saffrin?
No, I'm not gonna pop her, OK?
It was just a thought.
I'll meet these limo guys, tell 'em to leave
you alone in a way they'll understand.
You don't know these guys.
Believe me, I know 'em
a whole lot better than you do.
I asked this literary agent what kind of
writing paid best, he said ransom notes.
Here it is - Mr Lovejoy.
Lovejoy sits at the wheel,
watching the bar across the street...
Is he following someone?
Read it, is a grabber.
Harry, I think your investors are here.
Oh, Jesus!
All right, this is the plan. I want these
guys to sit here, not on the couch.
Keep the blinds open.
I want the light in their eyes.
I'll sit at the desk. I don't want
you to introduce me. Just start talking.
I want you to stand behind them
as they sit down. Understand?
They'll be looking at you,
but they don't know who you are.
Thas right.
Do not tell 'em who I am.
- I gotta say something.
- No, you don't.
Unless is "Glad you assholes stopped
by, now I can straighten you out."
You're kidding, right?
Just say the movie's been postponed.
And whatever you do,
don't say anything about Mr Lovejoy.
All right, les go.
Hey, Ronnie!
Harry, all right!
Have we entered a time warp? I feel
like I'm in Hollywood of yesteryear.
Have a seat right there.
Cool.
This is my associate, Chili Palmer.
Just so there's no misunderstanding,
your investment is just as solid
as the day you signed.
I can hear you, man,
but where the fuck are you?
Right here!
What I've been wondering is,
where's he been?
Yeah, where you been, Harry?
New York. I was scouting locations.
The main thing is that Freaks will
be put off for a couple of months.
- A couple of months?
- Yeah.
Just a couple of months, yeah.
We need more er... prep.
Bullshit, man!
We have an agreement.
We're going to do this picture.
I just have another project first,
one I promised this guy for years.
I wanna see your books.
Show me a two with five zeros after it.
I wanna see your books,
your fuckin' bank statements...
Hey, Ronnie. Look at me.
You have a piece of a movie,
not a piece of Harry.
If he wants to do another movie
this year, thas how is gonna be.
Excuse me...
but who the fuck are you?
I'm the one telling you how it is.
Cat.
What is this other movie, Harry?
Harry, let me answer this.
First, who am I talking to, him or you?
You can talk to me.
Thas what I thought.
Let me put it this way.
Outside of Freaks, is none
of your fucking business what we do.
Whoa! Here it is, right here.
This is the project - Mr Lovejoy.
I'm not puttin' one over on you.
What is it, a porno flick?
Is fluff,
you wouldn't be interested.
You think we see your movies?
I've seen better film on teeth.
So how 'bout you just take
our 20 points out of Freaks,
and put 'em in this other one?
No, I can't do that.
You're positive about that?
Yeah, is a different kind of deal,
is structured...
OK. Then be good enough
to hand us our money back.
Or let us come in on this new deal.
Let us know.
By Friday, or you're fuckin'
dead as disco. You hear me?
Take your time, Harry.
We're not animals. Are we, Ronnie?
What?
What?
Maybe I wasn't clear, but I thought
I told you to keep your mouth shut.
I had to tell 'em something.
Never say anything
unless you have to.
You asked me to get these guys
off your back.
Then you offer a piece of Mr Lovejoy.
I couldn't believe my fuckin' ears.
I told them I'd think about it.
In this town, that means nothing.
Thas the difference between you
and me, Harry. I say what I mean.
I want Martin Weir, I talk to Martin Weir,
not his trainer's shrink.
Shrink's trainer.
Take me back to my car.
Yeah?
Tommo. Chili.
Where you been?
I been lookin' all over.
Ray Bones is looking for you.
Where are you?
I'm in LA now. I'm going into
the movie business-producing.
What the fuck do you know
about makin' movies?
I don't think the producer
has to know much.
I gotta go. Call me
when you know more about Bones.
Hey, Karen, how you doin'?
What are you doing here?
Listen, I wanted to apologise
for breaking in last night.
You broke in again to apologise
for breaking in before?
No, your patio door was open.
You shouldn't do that.
Well, lock it on your way out.
You had a bad day, huh?
The director said I couldn't reach
the emotional core of the character.
What? Obviously he didn't see
Bride Of The Mutant.
You saw that one?
When you say to the alien mother
that her time on earth is finished,
Joan Crawford on her best day
wished she had the emotion,
the intensity that you had.
That was a good scene -
for a horror movie.
No, for any movie.
I know I'm better than walking round
in fuck-me pumps, waiting to scream.
Yeah, but what a scream.
It would be nice to get the chance
to say one great line.
Like when Bette Davis walks up
to the guy and says "I'd kiss you
but I just washed my hair".
How come you don't work with Harry?
Cos I married Martin Weir.
He was a full-time job.
- Have you read Harry's new script?
- No.
He says is the best thing
he's ever read.
He means after Slime Creatures III.
Did Harry ask you to help him
put Martin in a movie?
Harry's dreaming
of a $40 million movie,
with a star he'll never sign
with or without my help.
He said Martin flipped over it.
Martin's known for his flipping.
When is time to make a deal, he flips out.
Why don't I pick you up a script,
then you can read it yourself?
Don't go out of your way.
Nah, is nothing.
Well, I gotta have a talk
with my runaway dry-cleaner.
See how your story ends.
Touch Of Evil's playing near my hotel.
We can check it out if you want.
Watch Charlton Heston be a Mexican.
Thas all right. Another time.
See you around.
See you.
The fellow with a million smackers
And nervous indigestion
Hi. My name is Ray,
I'm a friend of Chili Palmer's.
Have you spoken with Mr Palmer
since your husband blew up?
Oh, once or twice.
What was it you talked about?
Nothing really. This and that.
This and that?
Fay... Fay, I want us
to be friends, I really do.
And we all know friends don't hit
each other-unless they have to.
So what do you say you tell me
exactly what the fuck is goin' on?
OK?
Good evening, sir.
And a very good evening
to you, too, sir.
Leo.
Look at me.
I'd have never thought you'd be so dumb.
Leaving over 300 grand in a closet.
I guess you are.
I didn't know where else to keep it.
Where would you?
How about a bank?
They'd report it to the IRS.
You don't open an account,
you get a safe deposit box.
How did you know I was here?
Next time you write to your wife,
don't use hotel stationery.
It was Fay, wasn't it?
Did she tell you my life history?
Leo, I'm here to save your ass.
How? By taking my money?
No, the money you won today is yours.
Is all mine!
Leo, sit down.
I don't know how you got this far,
you're so fuckin' dumb,
but you're through,
and I'll explain why.
Ray Bones is the man
you're dealing with now,
and when he finds out what you did,
he'll take everything.
Then most likely he'll shoot you,
so you won't tell.
I'm not gonna do that.
I'm not gonna hurt you.
There's 310,000 here. I'm taking
the 300 you scammed from the airlines,
and the ten thas over,
I'm gonna borrow from you.
Wait... You take all my money,
but you're borrowing part of it?
At 18%. Don't ask another
fuckin' question. I'm leaving now.
But you won't know where I am.
I don't even know where I'll be.
I'll find you, Leo.
You leave a trail like a caterpillar.
Hey!
Hey, wait a minute.
Whas this 18% shit?
You wanna borrow ten,
the vig is three bills a week.
thas 25 big ones.
Hey, you hear... hear me?
This is good. This Mr Lovejoy...
It needs a better ending, but yes,
I see why Harry wants to do it.
I knew he was lyin',
sayin' this wasn't any good,
but holding on to it,
like you'd have to break his fingers!
Thas funny. I was thinking
what I'd have to break of yours.
I'm explaining why I'm here,
in case you thought I came to rob
any of this dusty old shit.
I wouldn't make you out
to be a burglar.
Harry called you his associate.
What does that mean?
I never heard your name,
or read it in Variety or any place.
I'm his associate.
You must bring
something heavy to the deal.
I do. Me.
It says here
you're getting Martin Weir.
Thas right.
Come on.
How you gonna do that?
I'm gonna take a gun, put it to his head,
I'm gonna say "Sign, Martin,
or you're dead."
I wonder, would that work?
You know who I see as Al Roxy?
Harvey Keitel.
He was good in that movie Fingers.
You know who else? Morgan Freeman.
Morgan Freeman.
But he's a coloured guy.
So what? Where does it say
the man's got to be white?
Colour's what the part needs, man.
You need somebody with some style.
So what do you think of the script?
The first thing thas got to go
is the title.
Murray Saffrin would be better
than Lovejoy.
I'm with you on that.
Why don't you and I sit down,
write the script over where it needs it.
You could write one of these?
Nothin' to it. You get an idea,
set it down on paper,
then you hire somebody
to fill in the commas and shit,
fix up the spelling,
where you have tricky words.
Although I've seen scripts,
I know words weren't spelt right,
there was hardly any commas at all.
So I don't think thas too important.
You get to the end, fade out.
You done.
Thas it?
Thas all there is to it?
Then what the fuck
do I need you for?
I'm offering my services, man.
I'll tell you what. If I need
a ride some time, I'll let you know.
How could you arrest me here?
This is my country.
This is where you're going to die.
That was no miss. I don't want
to shoot you in the back.
Unless you'd rather
try to run for it.
Did you bring my wife?
She's in the car.
I've got it all on tape.
You sure you got enough?
Go play it back, you'll see.
Thas the second bullet
I stopped for you.
Thas the second bullet
I stopped for you.
You're going down, Orson.
Isn't somebody going to come
and take him away?
You really liked him, didn't you?
The cop did.
The cop did. The one
who killed him. He loved him.
Well, Hank was a great detective.
But a lousy cop.
But a lousy cop.
Is that all you have to say for him?
He was some kind of a man.
What does it matter
what you say about people?
Goodbye, Karen.
Adios.
Adios.
Wow, huh?
You've been here the whole time.
No, I just caught the end.
Welles didn't want to do this movie.
He couldn't get out of the contract.
Sometimes you do your best work
when you got a gun to your head.
I brought you a copy of the script.
I've read it.
Harry left a copy at the house.
How'd you like it?
Is not horrible.
I don't like the title
or some characters.
So you read it?
I haven't yet, but I will.
You and Harry make a great team.
Is that right?
I'll make a deal with you.
Oh, found a character you like?
I want to produce it
especially if I help him get Martin.
Hey, thas fair.
So, what do you get out of it?
Is that why you came here,
to ask me that?
I wanna know.
Why would anyone
want to be in movies?
Yesterday you were a loan shark.
I was never into it and especially
that bullshit about respect.
It was bad enough
treating these guys like heroes,
those stupid comments
they think are so funny.
You think the movie business
is different?
I like movies and I figured
if I help Harry make one,
I'll find out what to do
outside of having an idea.
I was in the money business
and I have a lot of ideas in my head.
I'm going to talk to Martin tomorrow.
I told Harry I'd meet you and him
at the restaurant afterwards.
This might just work out.
You never know.
Sounds fine.
Adios.
I spent eight hours at the airport
looking at people's bulges!
This is not the way we do business.
You don't know who you're messing with.
I want the fucking money!
You gonna smoke, you get
the hell off my $70-a-yard carpet.
I told you where the money is.
Now go and get it.
I'll tell you somethin',
if they bust me, I tell them I come to
get something for you. Thas all I know.
Thas all you know, huh?
Thas all I know.
Wait here. I'll be back directly.
Keep an eye on him for me.
Thas the way you get things done.
What the fuck
you gonna do with that?
I'm taking you out, yahoo.
See that,
the way the man went right over?
We could get Chili Palmer here.
You could fix my railing
to give way like in the movies.
I invite him to look at my view,
get him to lean over...
Is the dumbest idea I ever heard.
Here's the thing, Bear,
whas the point of living in LA
unless you're in the movie business?
High up in it. Thas why Harry's
going to produce Mr Lovejoy with me,
not Chili Palmer.
I can't believe
this map is accurate.
I bought it from a kid on Sunset.
You were supposed
to meet me at the restaurant.
It says Martin Weir's house
across from George Hamilton.
- That must be...
- Chili?
Nicole?
Is Nicki now.
I don't believe this!
Hey!
I know her!
Hi, Nicki.
Karen, shit, I didn't see you.
How are you?
You gotta come in,
you gotta meet Martin!
Where you been?
What have you been doing?
Chili was the only one
who didn't try to hit on me.
What a gentleman.
Do you like my hair black?
Nice, yeah,
especially under the arms.
Martin won't let me shave. Takes
him back to the '60s or something.
Speak of the devil.
Karen, look at you.
Hi, Martin.
You smell so good.
She always smells so good.
Martin, this is Chili Palmer.
Chili, is it?
Nice to meet you, Martin.
Chili ran a club I used to play at
in Miami. How is Momo these days?
Dead.
Bummer. I'll let you
get to your movie talk.
Chili, do not leave
without saying goodbye to me.
So...
You know how beautiful you are?
You really are beautiful.
I'm sitting here looking at you and
having flashbacks, memories of us.
Really?
Yeah, and I'm wondering,
how did it all slip away?
It didn't slip away. You did when
you fucked Nicki at my birthday party.
That was a good party.
You know, Marty, you were so good
in that movie The Cyclone.
Martin. Yeah, it was a beautiful role.
All I had to do
was find the character's centre.
The stem I used to wind him up
and he'd just play.
If I didn't know better,
I'd have thought you was a made guy.
No acting there, right?
And the fink part...
I never met a fink
and I hope I never do,
but the way you played a fink,
thas how is gotta be.
Yeah.
Two weeks before shooting,
I went to Bensonhurst
to hear you guys talk.
I'm Italian, but grew up in Tazana.
I wanted to get the rhythms
of your speech.
We speak differently?
It was more your attitude, your tone.
Your speech patterns demonstrate
confidence in your opinions,
your indifference
to conventional views.
Like we don't give a shit?
Yeah, kinda. Yeah.
Once I get the authentic sounds
of speech, the patois, you know,
I can actually think the way
those guys do. Get inside.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Well, I'm one of those guys.
What am I thinking?
Well, don't get me wrong,
a metamorphosis doesn't take place,
that wouldn't be acting.
- So you don't know what I'm thinking?
- No, but I have to say I'm curious.
So you want to know?
- If you want to tell me.
- I'm thinking about a movie.
One of mine?
No. One we're producing.
With what? Wise guy money?
Maybe this wasn't a good idea.
I'm not connected to that any more
since I left that loansharking operation.
The pressure got too much for you?
I'm the one who applied the pressure.
Oh, yeah?
Can I ask you a question?
Yeah.
Actors like to pretend, right?
We've been known to make-believe.
Pretend this. You're a shylock.
A guy owes you 15 grand.
He skips town, he takes off.
What do you do?
Oh, Martin, for Chriss sake...
Just, you know...
I'm doing Shylock instead of
a shylock. Whas my motivation?
The acquisition of money,
to collect, to inflict pain if I must.
Guy splits with my money, I go
after him, what you think I'd do?
- Look at me.
- I am looking at you.
Look at me the way I'm looking at you.
Put it in your eyes.
"You're mine, asshole," without saying it.
OK, how 'bout this?
Are you telling me you're sleepy,
you want to go to bed?
All right, OK...
Now you're squinting
like you need glasses.
What do you...?
- Look at me.
- What?
What I'm thinking is
"You're mine. I fuckin' own you."
But I'm not feeling
one way or another about it.
You're not a person to me, you're
an entry in a book, a guy who owes me.
All right, how about this?
Woh, oh, wow, not bad!
Not bad.
No wonder you're Martin Weir.
Thas what I think of you, asshole.
Nothin'.
I believe it.
So, I turn this on
when I confront the guy?
You haven't found him yet,
he's split for Las Vegas.
- How do I know that?
- Because his wife told you.
His wife told me. OK.
Harry, how you doing?
Great.
I'm expecting some people.
You must be doing some big deals
doing lunch in a place like this.
I'm working on a few things.
I hear you bagged Martin Weir
for Mr Lovejoy.
Word gets around, huh?
Chili Palmer told me
when he called me over to talk about it.
He showed you my script?
Yeah. I was wondering
why he would do that.
The wife sues the airline?
Some gutsy babe!
Good looking, too, like Karen.
When do I meet the husband
and give him the look?
Thas not so simple.
There's a mob guy.
You owe him money.
He wants to take you out
because you broke his nose.
Keep going.
At this point, basically,
thas gotta be it.
Thas all you'll tell me?
The reason we came by
was to talk about Mr Lovejoy.
We understand that you read
the script and you loved it.
Refresh my memory.
Listen, how'd you like
to get your hands on $500,000?
Pay me back at your convenience,
no interest.
Are you serious?
All I want in return
is to work on this movie with you.
I've got some ideas
on how to fix it up.
Can I get you anything else?
Another one for Mr Zimm. A double.
You're just going to give me
this $500,000?
We'll talk about that
but first I gotta know,
how'd you hook up
with this Chili Palmer?
Mr Lovejoy was good.
I'll call Buddy, set up a meeting.
Who's Buddy?
- His agent.
- Karen knows him.
You are interested?
I'm intrigued.
Take an element of The Cyclone,
the way the visual fabric is maintained
while the metaphor
plays on different levels.
Is this your ride?
I like to sit high,
check everything out.
It is the Cadillac of mini-vans.
Ho...
Check this out.
Mind if I take it for a spin?
He was watching Letterman, huh?
Sneaky, that Chili Palmer.
Did he ever find that dry-cleaner,
the one with all the money on him?
Leo? I don't know.
I bet he did and he ain't giving you one
penny to help you out, not the way I am.
Assuming I go along with this,
when can I have the $500,000?
Whenever you want.
The money's in $100 bills
in a locker at the airport.
At the airport?
It was waiting out there on a deal
that didn't go through, Harry.
One you don't want to know about.
I don't know...
Is not a thing you'd do,
so why not send Chili Palmer?
If he gets busted,
you're out of the thing, Harry.
C18.
The magic number.
Cat.
I'm positive it was Susan Hayward.
It was Rita Hayworth and Glenn Ford.
Excuse me, Harry.
Wait here.
I'd like you to meet
my associate, Bear.
Stuntman, champion weightlifter,
as you might have noticed.
Throws things out I don't want.
Turn around and go back to Miami.
A stuntman. Any good?
Am I any good?
Thas not bad for a guy his size.
If you can get out of here
before I take my coat off,
I won't clean up the floor with you.
You don't know me.
You only think you do.
- That guy is a stuntman.
- Yeah, he was in Creatures II.
Rough business, this movie business.
I may go back to loansharking
for a rest!
What are you still doing
with those guys?
He happens to be loaning me
$500,000. No strings.
I can write any kind of agreement.
Cash or cheque?
Cash. Is in a locker
at the airport at this moment.
A locker at the airport?
Tell me you're not that stupid.
You're being set up.
He's paying you back.
That right? He's setting me up?
Why did Catlett say
I should send you to pick it up,
since you haven't done a thing
for me except show Catlett my script?
You're right,
you're not being set up.
At least Bo has invested
in three of my movies.
We spoke with Martin.
We?
- Chili and me.
- Really?
Told us to call Buddy,
set up a meeting.
A meeting. You and Karen?
Harry...
He's been in town two days
and he thinks he's David O Selznik.
Shall I deal with Bo or will you
talk with your dry-cleaner?
I've found him,
but forget about Leo's money.
Do you have it?
If I gave you Leo's money you'd
have Ray Bones all over your ass.
Who?
Ray Barboni.
He owns Leo now that Momo's dead.
Who the fuck is Momo?
Where do you get these names?
I'll go to the airport and if there's
no problem I'll get your money.
I wouldn't get my hopes up.
Maybe I'll call Barboni and ask him
if he wants to invest in my movie.
He's not a movie fan. Gimme the key.
Oh, Harry.
Tell him he's got to be out by 5am.
The actor'll only work one night.
I gotta go. Yeah.
Coming!
- Who is it?
- Me.
Oh, fuck!
I heard that.
Hello, Doris!
Harry Zimm!
You look like a wet kiss.
Mmm!
Yum! Aren't you gonna offer me
whatever it is you taste like?
Come in, Doris.
My favourite colour! Putty.
Yeah, I like it.
What do you want, Doris?
I miss Murray, Harry.
Yeah, I miss him, too.
Hell of a good writer.
I made him what he was.
He was a hack. He couldn't get a job
writing for anybody but you.
I'm being honest. He was
a lousy writer but a good husband.
I didn't know till it was too late.
Yeah, well, 20/20 hindsight
and all that.
I hate being alone.
The house is so quiet, so lonely.
It needs
a man's touch.
Nice necklace, Doris.
Mmm!
Doris...
I don't know how I feel about this.
You seem to feel fine about it.
I mean morally. Murray was a friend.
Murray's dead.
Does this mean you'll reconsider
our deal on Mr Lovejoy?
No, but I talked to a gorgeous
young executive at Paramount
who happened to get his hands
on the script.
Whad he say?
He said if Martin's interested,
I can get half a million for it.
Don't worry, Harry.
I'm still gonna give you till Friday.
How honourable of you.
Harry, you want me to go,
just say so.
Oh, what the hell?
Fuck!
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
What?
Ray Barboni?
Who is this?
Is this Ray Bones?
It depends. Who is this?
This is the one telling you
the way it is. OK, asshole?
You want your 300 grand or not?
What 300 grand?
The 300 grand
Leo Devoe scammed off an airline.
The 300 grand that Chili Palmer
now has in his possession.
Hello? Are you there?
I don't like this anonymous crap.
You're either a big chickenshit
or you're not for real.
I am very for real.
So, who are you?
I work for Harry Zimm.
Who?
Harry Zimm,
a major Hollywood player.
I never heard of him.
Because you've never left
fucking Miami, dipshit.
Maybe you ought to come out to LA
and meet Mr Zimm.
OK, so this Zimm guy
is asking for a finder's fee?
Zimm don't ask for dick.
Zimm tells you the way it is, or else.
Or else what?
Use your fucking imagination!
Excuse me, could you help me out?
I got a surprise gift in here for my wife.
Could you put it in locker C17?
Ten bucks. Take you two minutes.
Yeah, OK.
You'll need this.
Gotta make it quick, though,
she's in the john. C17.
Good man.
Les go, boys.
Excuse me, sir.
Agent Curtis, Drug Enforcement.
These are agents Dunbar and Morgan.
Would you come with us, please?
Whas going on?
Les behave ourselves.
Mr Barbone? Welcome to LA.
Did you have a good flight?
I hope you drive better than you spell.
Is Barboni, not Barbone.
Want to go to the hotel first,
Mr Escobar?
Wanna get my fucking money.
You live in Miami?
What are you doing in Los Angeles?
I'm a movie producer.
You have a card?
Not yet. I just got started.
Whas this all about?
I could strip-search you.
Pat him down.
Hands on the wall. Spread your legs.
Why are you at the airport?
I was supposed to pick up my wife
but she wasn't on the plane.
Is she coming in from Newark?
We had a fight
and she went back to Brooklyn.
So I said "Come out West. A change
of scenery might get us back together."
She said OK but evidently
she changed her mind.
Your wife a Lakers fan?
I am. I like everything thas LA.
I love it out here.
He's clean.
You can go.
What are you guys looking for?
A bomb?
Something that shouldn't be there.
Get an attendant to open the lockers.
Thas an idea!
I'd do that. Then I'd get
the right guy next time.
Mr Barbone, to go to the beach,
this is the freeway.
On the weekend, there's no traffic.
I'm from Miami fucking Beach
and you wanna show me the ocean!
Does the sun ever shine
or is this smog around all the time?
They say the smog's the reason
we have such beautiful sunsets.
Thas what they say, huh?
What a bunch of fucking bullshit!
I don't know how I missed you
in that shirt.
Is like the other one but with
a different coloured hibiscus.
You didn't have the key on you?
You think I'd be here? To set someone up,
is gotta be a surprise.
You spotted 'em, huh?
Did you see it work in some movie?
I gotta ask you for that key back.
The set up didn't work
and you want the key back?!
Bo said if you didn't
open the locker, the deal's off.
You're serious?
This is how you do business?
I'm surprised you're not dead.
There's no fucking way you're getting
that key unless you got a gun.
Move away from the fucking car.
I don't need a gun.
All right, all right. Slow down.
Breathe through your mouth, slow.
Bear, look at me.
Tell your boss I don't ever wanna see
him again. A deal's a deal. Got that?
OK, get up.
What are you hanging around
a guy like that for, anyway?
You were a stunt man, right?
Whas he ever done?
- You OK?
- Not too bad.
How about when you fell
down the stairs?
I pulled my quadriceps.
How many movies you been in?
About 60.
No shit? What were some of them?
You won't have seen none of 'em.
No, what were some of them?
- You wouldn't know.
- I know movies.
Harry Zimm?
Who is it?
I'm the dipshit
who's never been outta Miami.
Mr Barboni, what a nice surprise!
Uh, have a seat.
Right here. Right here.
Ray Bones.
Barboni...
Oh, yes. Uh...
They say the fucking smog
is the fucking reason
you have such beautiful
fucking sunsets.
Yes...
What do you mean he faked them out?
He was ready for the set up.
So where's the money?
I guess is still in the locker.
You guess? You don't know?
I don't care, Bo.
I really don't care.
Bear, I'm gonna call you later.
Mr Escobar, what a surprise.
Welcome to LA.
Where's my nephew?
Your who?
Yayo! Where is he?
I haven't seen Yayo.
He's my sister's kid. No father.
Personally, I think he's a retard.
I only gave him the job as a favour
to my sister. You understand?
Family. I know.
He comes up here with our product.
He should come home with $500,000.
He never shows up.
Meanwhile, my sister's
going crazy with worry.
I just wanna know
where my fucking money is.
I don't know. I gave him his money.
You gave him the money?
I gave him a key to a locker
with the money in it.
Why did you do that?
There were a zillion
DEA guys in the terminal.
A zillion? Thas a lot!
Maybe your nephew panicked
and took off.
Why are you talking this bullshit?
Maybe I have Ramon and Cesar
staple your tongue to your chin!
What do you think?
I think you speak very good English.
We're gonna spend the weekend
at the Universal Sheridan. See the shark.
Watch that Miami Vice spectacular.
Oh, nice.
After, we're gonna come back here,
get my money.
Jefe, no se olvide de Yayo.
Oh, yeah. And Yayo, too.
His fucking nephew?!
You go straight to the bank.
We got dick in the bank.
We dumped it all into Harry's movie.
I'm talking about you, Ray Barboni,
owning a piece of a motion picture.
How much is up to you.
What I'm saying is,
you could invest part
of the 300 grand Palmer owes you,
or all of it. Is up to you.
Where's Chili Palmer?
Where's Leo Devoe?
- Where's my fucking money?
- Ray, look at me.
What?
Look at me, Ray.
Did you just say look at you?
Look at me, Ray.
I'll tell you what, Harry.
Take a fucking look at this.
And have a peek at this.
You know, Harry, this is the exact
fucking thing I needed.
A little fucking exercise
after that long fucking
plane ride!
You got a big problem, Harry.
Harry?
Come on, Harry,
don't pass out on me.
Look at me, Harry.
Where's my money?
Where's my money?
Harry, I'm gonna ask you one more time,
then I gotta shoot you, you don't tell me.
Where's my money?
Your money? Who the fuck are you?
I'm Ray Barboni from Miami.
I'm supposed to know you?
He belongs to me and my partner.
- This piece of shit owes me money.
- Get in line.
I don't like waiting in lines.
Tough shit. This ain't Miami.
You gotta ask me.
Fuck you, fuckball. LA is an open city.
I don't need permission
from nobody for nothing.
Oh, really? Well, I just closed it.
You must be one of those
quick-draw artists,
the way you got your gun
stuck way down in your belt.
What have you got there?
They're always fucking jamming
on you at the wrong time.
Don't you puke on my shoes, Harry.
Hey, Harry.
I want you to do me a favour.
Take this gun and
put a pill in the bro' over there.
You're thinking, why shoot him?
He's already dead.
The police have tests
to tell whether you fired a gun.
And I was never here.
Do you understand? I was never here.
If you say I was, I'm gonna
throw you outta that fucking window.
Knock it off, Harry, we haven't got
a lot of time. Thas it. Thas it.
Not a worry in the world.
- Your pool needs skimming.
- Yeah.
That was Martin.
He wants us to have lunch tomorrow.
Depends on who's paying.
Definitely not Martin.
Movie stars never pick up the cheque.
Most don't know their phone number.
I can't get used to the idea
that the two of you were together.
You don't like Martin, do you?
No, I do! I think he's...
I think he's short!
But, uh, I know he's a good actor, but
what was it exactly that you saw in him?
Oh... Martin was different then.
He wasn't a movie star.
What about your story?
You thought of a title yet?
How about Get Shorty?
Chili's Hollywood Adventure?
Thas a different story.
I'm still working on it.
I'm getting the visual fabric together.
But I have added to it.
There's a girl in it now.
- Really?
- Mmm-hmm.
She looks like you.
Oh!
You could be an actor. You act
sometimes but you don't show it.
You thought I was faking?
No, not then! I mean in general.
You don't mean a movie star?
More like a character actor?
Whichever.
I could see myself
in a Robert De Niro part
or even a Al Pacino,
playing a real hard-on.
I couldn't see myself in them movies
where the three guys
get left with the baby...
Chili. Chili, look at me.
Leave a message.
Karen, is Doris. You might wanna come
visit Harry in the Emergency Room.
Les go.
I stopped by his office to ask him
to take me to Le Dome for dinner.
I see Harry and some other man
lying on the floor.
Goodnight, Todd, Lewis.
Oh, man!
Jesus!
Harry, my God!
He can't talk.
He's full of Demerol.
According to Todd, Sergeant Randall,
a man named Ronnie
wanted to collect a debt from Harry.
He got rough and Harry shot him.
You shot Ronnie?!
Hello, hello! OK, Mr Zimm has
a broken jaw and some neck trauma
to go with these fractured hands.
Excuse us, folks.
Martin wanted to meet us for lunch
tomorrow at the lvy, and I'd cancel,
but he's going to Cannes
so I think Chili and I should go.
Who wants to take a crack
at wiring Mr Zimm's jaw?
Son of a bitch! Son of a bitch!
Hi, Bo.
Hey, Farrah! Little honey bunny!
You wipe your feet?
Yeah.
Thas my girl.
Keep Uncle Bo's carpet nice and white.
I been calling you. Where you been?
See the paper?
I seen it. I don't believe it.
It says Harry shot Ronnie five times,
four through the chest
and one through his foot.
His foot! Jesus! Poor Ronnie.
Tonight, later on, I've got one for you
that won't involve any heavy work.
I want you to take a look
around Chili Palmer's hotel room.
No, I can't. I can't.
I gotta take Farrah
over to her mother's.
I quit!
I don't work for you no more.
I came down to tell you to your face.
The Colombians are in LA,
upset about their money,
and it turns out Yayo
was Escobar's nephew.
Thas your problem. You shot the guy.
Farrah! Hey, honey bunny!
Come here, honey bunny!
Come and see Uncle Bo, come on.
Uncle Bo hates being alone.
He hates it so much, if he takes a fall,
he's not gonna fall by himself.
He's gonna plea-deal his way out.
Give up his ace stunt man, now one
of the West Coass dope kings,
if they go easy on him.
In Federal joints, you get extra time
with your daddy on Father's Day.
Let her go, Bo.
After this one, I'm out.
Is the last time we talk.
Remember Harry's story about
the dry-cleaner Palmer was after,
- Who stole 300 grand from the airline?
- What about him?
You go look around Palmer's hotel room
while I check out Karen Flores's place.
Meet me back here at midnight.
What kind of food is it at the lvy?
Continental, but Martin
won't order from the menu.
Why not?
Movie stars have to think
of something that isn't on the menu.
Harry, you should be in the hospital!
You look like you're in
one of your own horror movies.
Whad he say?
"My project."
Mr Zimm!
Hey, Harry! Attaboy, killer!
Right this way.
You're a celebrity. You shoulda
shot someone a long time ago.
Hi.
Hi.
'Scuse me. How you doin'?
Hello. Hi.
How you doin'? Hey, Chili.
Good to see you.
Harry! Oh, my goodness!
- Hi, Martin.
- Sweet face.
You look great. You smell good, too.
Thanks.
So, Harry, I hear you had
quite an experience.
Anyway, I'm glad you're OK.
I'm glad you rejected me ten years ago
for the part of Eddie Solomon,
the paedophile clown.
If I'd have gotten that part,
I might have been typecast!
Have you guys ordered?
Can we order?
Excuse me, could you...?
- Hi, whas your name?
- Stephanie.
Hi, Stephanie.
Can you make an egg white omelette
with slightly brown shallots and no salt?
Bring one for the table.
No...
How about those strawberry frapps,
drinks with little strawberries?
And bring two straws for Harry.
Anyway, I think the romance angle
in your story is critical.
This shouldn't be a hop in the sack.
These two should fall in love.
Which two?
Then, when the mob guy's chasing them,
it adds a wistful element
to their romance.
Mob guy?
As the mob guy, is another
man's wife I'm sleeping with.
After all, you have such morals.
I have to run,
but I'd like to see them having
misgivings about wanting the money.
Is a moral dilemma for them.
They rationalise taking it,
but in the end, they can't.
What money?
The 300 large.
I shouldn't discuss this until I've read
the script, but I have such a good feeling.
I am that shylock.
Look at me, Harry.
Not bad!
You're really getting it down.
It scares me how well I know
this guy. I could do this tomorrow.
Doll face. You should think
about getting back into acting.
- I'll give it some heavy thought.
- OK.
Take care of yourself, Harry.
Enjoy.
Let me help you out. Go ahead.
Suck harder.
Chili, wake up!
Somebody's downstairs.
Is Harry.
How do you know?
He's doing what you did to him,
playing Letterman on TV.
Thas not Dave, is a movie. Hmm.
- You gonna go down?
- I don't know.
You don't know?
I know, I'm going!
Karen, you got a gun?
- No!
- Any kinda gun'll do.
No!
Ah. Sounds like Rio Bravo.
Duke... maybe this'll help.
Guess I'll take that drink.
I thought you would.
You want that gun, pick it up.
I wish you would.
I need the money.
What money?
The 300 grand you got
from a dry-cleaner named Leo.
You break into Karen Flores's house
and ask for 300 grand?
Just give me the money.
I can't believe how fucked up
your organisation is.
How about I count to three and organise
your brain all over the wall back there?
How 'bout that? One...
You're gonna shoot me now, huh?
- Just a second. Two...
- I can't believe this...
Karen!
She can't talk right now.
Nice scream.
They oughta give you more work.
I'll get you the money,
but is not here.
Fine. In the meantime,
I'll hold onto her.
I'm at 8150 Wonderland Avenue,
right off Laurel Canyon.
I'll be there, Karen.
- You get the money?
- No. What is this?
Plan B.
You make yourself comfortable.
Oh, for Chriss sake!
Calm down, Bear.
- This is life in prison!
- Don't fade on me now, Bear.
You gonna shoot me now?
Put me out of my misery!
Calm down, unless you wanna spend
your life with Farrah on your lap
in a roomful of felons!
So! This is one of them houses
that hang off the side of the cliff.
Where's Karen?
In my bathroom. Where's the money?
- Let me see her.
- Go ahead.
Karen!
Are you OK?
Guy's got a fucking pink toilet.
She's great! Give me the money.
I'm gonna settle something.
I've been shot at before, three times,
and I'm still here.
I'm gonna be here as long as I want.
So you gotta be nowhere near me,
Karen or Harry.
Take your money,
and leave the movie business to those
of us who know what we're doing.
Come on, Karen.
You broke in my house
and I have a witness.
What?
And it ain't John Wayne
or Dean Martin in El Dorado.
That was Rio Bravo.
Robert Mitchum was in El Dorado.
Dean Martin was in Rio Bravo.
Basically the same part.
John Wayne played John Wayne in both.
I can't wait for you to be dead.
Are you gonna let him...?
Thas for the stairs,
and thas for the airport!
Get him off my carpet
before he starts to bleed.
Make it look like he came at us,
you shoot him-self-defence.
Shouldn't he have a weapon,
a knife or something?
I'll get it later.
Bear, thas enough.
He's gonna look like somebody
beat him up and then shot him.
No, he ain't.
Waah!!
Hold on, man!
- Chili!
- What the hell are you doin'?
Karen, what the fuck are you doing?
She's shooting at us! Come on!
Oh! I'm sorry! I'm sorry.
Wow.
How do you think that happened?
Beats the shit outta me.
Were you scared up there?
You bet.
You don't act like it.
I was scared then, not now.
How long you want me to be scared?
I'll be right back.
How'd you get in here?
I told them I was you. I acted
real stupid and they believed me.
What brings you to LA, Bones?
Don't insult me, just turn around!
You're the dumbest fuck I ever met.
Lemme take a look in these pockets.
You shoulda told me about Leo Devoe.
Why would I do that?
Because the guy
is a customer of mine, dummy!
Well, well, well!
What have we here?
C18.
I wonder what this could be!
A locker key?
But where's the locker?
I checked the bag at the airport.
Which terminal?
Which terminal?
Sovereign.
You found Leo, huh?
You found him, you took his money,
you put it in a locker ready to go?
Why haven't you left?
I like it out here.
I been thinking, there's no reason
why you and I shouldn't get along.
Forget about that stuff. I don't
even remember how all this started.
You took a swing at me. Fuck it.
You owe me money. Fuck that.
You owe me the juice on the money.
Fuck that, too.
I say live and let die. But this...
this is strictly between you and I.
You say nothing to nobody
about this. Understood?
Whatever you say, Ray.
I think is only fair. Don't you?
Then is all settled.
I'll see you around.
Dumb fuck.
Come here.
The fucking airport.
Bingo, boys, les go.
Hey, Bones! Look at me.
Fuck you, fuckball!
Aaagh!!
Damn!
Cut! Cut!
I am pushing the right button.
You're not!
I'm pushing the right button.
Bear, show him how to do it, OK?
What do you wanna do, Harry?
Wrap. Is a wrap.
Come back tomorrow. Fuck!
You shoulve gone into overtime
to get that shot.
Is the second day
and we're two weeks behind.
And do me a favour, Harry. Next time...
Martin already told me that he loves it.
Look, Buddy. I don't think Martin is right.
Why the hell not?!
Because he's too short. Come on.
Why does he keep pushing Martin?
Packaging.
You can't make a Martin Weir
into a Mel Gibson.
Where do you wanna go?
Do you wanna go to Dan Tana's?
The guy on the radio said
is gonna get down to 34.
Yo, Chili. Are you spacing?
They're closing down the Granville,
that theatre on Biscayne.
The guy owes Momo a couple of Gs.
I know. I think Momo should buy it.
I could run it for him.
Why would Momo want some old theatre
that shows movies no-one watches?
I'd say turn it into
some kind of porno house.
- I'm going to go talk to Chili.
- Besides, you've got a job.
Yeah. Yeah.
- Ray! How you doing?
- Good. You?
OK. Can you believe this weather?
Is Miami Beach, for Chrissakes.
Chili Palmer.
Is chilly outside and is Chili inside.
Is a fucking Chili-fest.
How you doing, Ray?
Obviously much better than you, Chili.
That was a good one!
Hey, when you're done
staring out the window
I'll meet you back at the office.
Hey! Where's my coat?
Is not one of these?
Do you see a black leather jacket
like Pacino's in Serpico?
If you don't, you owe me $379.
But the sign...
I didn't come to Florida to freeze!
You either find my coat or give me
the $379 my ex-wife paid for it.
Puoi spiegare che Signor Barboni
ha prestato...
Wait, Ray Bones took my coat?
He borrow it. Somebody took his coat
so he tried this other coat and it fit good.
That was my coat!
He's not gonna keep it.
My car keys are in that coat.
Mr Barboni is a good customer.
He works for Jimmy Capp.
I know. Where's your phone?
This way.
Are you sure it was Ray Bones
that took the coat?
Yes.
Tomorrow's gonna be warm,
you don't need the coat.
This is it.
Chili, get the coat,
just don't piss the guy off.
We'll straighten it all out with Momo,
he'll be pissed off. We don't need that.
Don't worry. I'll say no more
than I have to, if that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, just a minute.
What are you, fucking nuts?
My nose! My nose!
Uh-oh.
Holy shit!
Somebody call nine,
fucking one, one, one.
What do you want me to do, Ray?
Go to war over a fucking coat?!
You're lucky he didn't kill you,
the coat was a Christmas present!
Jimmy, you gotta do something about
him, he's got no fucking respect for us.
He's got no respect for you!
I don't gotta do shit!
Chili Palmer don't work for me,
he works for Momo in Brooklyn.
As long as Momo's around,
nothing happens to Chili. Understand?
Over here.
We're here, Momo.
I hope you guys checked this place
out good. I don't want no surprises.
Yeah, I checked everything, Momo.
Yeah? Who is it?
Is Momo.
SURPRISE!
You're never gonna sleep again?
No, I'm never going to bed,
there's a difference.
It says most people die in bed.
If I stay out of bed, I'm safe.
Thas the dumbest thing
I ever heard. Where'll you sleep?
In my recliner,
the tan one in the TV room.
Or I'll go to the coffee shop,
pull my hat down.
How many people you know
died in a coffee shop?
You cut straight hair in here
or just fags?
Hey, Bones,
thas quite a scar on your head.
These guys can fit you for a rug,
cover it up.
You two gazers,
take your gape to the park.
This man is the man, you understand
what I'm saying, motherfucker?
You speak to Mr Bones from now on.
You can do better than him.
Not these days,
not unless you speak Spanish.
Leo Devoe's six weeks over.
He's dead.
How do you know? Did he tell you?
Yeah, he told me he was dead.
Personally?
Yeah, he told me he got killed
in a jet crash last month.
Maybe he had flight insurance.
Visit his wife.
You do it, is your book now.
He had a dry-cleaner's on the highway.
Let me explain something.
Momo is dead, so all he had now
belongs to Jimmy Capp, including you.
This means when I speak,
I speak for Jimmy.
E.g., from now on you start
showing me the proper respect.
E.g. means for example. You mean "i.e.".
Bullshit, is short for ergo.
Ask your man.
E.g. means for example.
E.g., i.e., fuck you! The point is that
when I say jump you say OK, OK?!
Yeah, Ray, OK.
Now, you owe me the dry-cleaner's
Get it from his wife or out of your
own pocket, I don't give a fuck,
but never hand me a book with a miss.
We'll see you, Ray.
Go see the dry-cleaner's wife.
You've got three days.
I told you not to piss him off...
Don't say another fucking word, OK?
I hate being inside all day
around all those machines.
Must be hot.
You have no idea how hot it is.
Do you know, Fay, I was wondering,
did Leo have life insurance?
I don't know of any.
Hmm.
I trust you, Chili.
I think you're a decent type of man
even if you are a crook.
Oh. Thank you.
I wish he really was dead.
He's a son of a bitch.
Called himself Larry De Mille.
Hit on every showgirl in town.
Said he was the "Martinizing King
of Miami". What a moron!
He's in LA. We put him on a plane
after he spanked a cocktail girl.
Leo spanked a cocktail girl?
He invites her to play the ponies,
she doesn't want to,
he gives her one on the tush.
My guess, he's at the track right now.
Chili, if you go to LA, this guy owes
us $150,000, some movie producer.
Movie producer?
Yeah.
Why not?
You're gonna love this guy,
another fucking moron - Harry Zimm.
Thanks a bunch. Where is it?
Is right there.
What is that?
Is an Oldsmobile Silhouette.
I ordered a Cadillac.
Thas the Cadillac of mini-vans.
Are you kidding me?
Hey, the car rental's over there,
but I think all they've got
is convertibles.
I guess I'll take the Cadillac
of mini-vans.
Harry!
Harry, wake up,
somebody's downstairs!
Whas wrong?
Somebody's downstairs. Shh!
I don't hear anything.
Right there!
Thas the television.
Harry, I told you to turn off
the television when you were done.
Uh-huh.
I also told you
to sleep in the mais room.
I did that.
I turned the TV off with the remote
and I laid it on the floor.
You know what coulve happened?
The dog came in, stepped on it
and turned it back on.
I don't have a dog, Harry.
You don't?
Oh. What happened to Muffy?
Are you gonna go down there
or shall I?
No, I'll go.
Hurry!
The pool needs a skim.
Harry!
I'm going. I'm going.
I gotta go to the bathroom.
Harry!
I'm going. I'm going.
Jesus!
Have you got a satellite dish?
Yeah.
How many channels do you get?
Probably 40, 50 channels.
Are you on the information
superhighway?
Not yet.
I get 2800 different channels.
Harry Zimm.
Jesus Christ!
How ya doing? I'm Chili Palmer.
If I have a heart attack,
I hope you know what to do.
Where you been?
Have we met?
We just did.
I told you, my name's Chili Palmer.
You're in pictures.
What if I had a heart attack?!
Look at me, Harry.
I'm looking.
Keep looking at me.
Thas what I'm doing!
You know Dick Allen, Mesa's Casino?
You're a collector
for the fucking casino!
You come here in the middle
of the night...
I thought you were an actor!
We'll see about this.
Operator, let me have Las Vegas...
Let me give you some advice.
Don't act hard when you're in your undies.
What you wanna do is
sit down and talk to me.
Harry, a marker is like a cheque...
I know what a marker is!
They don't wanna deposit yours
and have it bounce, that annoys them.
You haven't returned Dick Allen's calls,
so he asked me to look you up.
I follow you here
and I see you with a woman...
Looks like Karen Flores,
who was in Grotesque. Look at me.
Why do I have to look at ya?
I want you to.
So I make good
or you break my legs, huh?
Come on, Harry. Mesa's?
Tell Dick Allen I'll cover
those markers in 60 days.
If he doesn't like it,
thas his problem, the fucking prick!
So, you want me to call you a cab?
You make movies, huh?
I produce feature
motion pictures, no TV.
You mentioned Grotesque. Karen Flores
was actually in Grotesque Part II.
She also starred in three
of my Slime Creatures releases.
I got an idea for a movie.
He'd wear wool hats in Miami
in the middle of summer.
He doesn't want anyone to think he's bald,
so he wears a fucking cap.
Karen! Karen, hey!
Say hello to Chili Palmer.
Chili, this is Karen Flores.
Pleasure to meet you.
How you get in?
He has an idea for a movie,
is not bad so far. Have a drink.
Tell Karen.
Maybe you didn't hear me.
I came in the back door.
You broke in?
It was open. It wasn't locked.
What if it were?
Listen to the idea. A dry-cleaner
scams an airline out of 300 grand.
This guy owes a shylock $15,000.
He's three weeks over on the vig.
Thas the interest.
I know what vig is.
Anyway, this dry-cleaner -
les call him Leo-he's scared.
He leaves town. Leo's on a plane
but it just sits there.
They announce over the PA
there's a mechanical problem.
Ill take an hour
but they're to stay seated.
The guy's nervous
so he gets off the plane,
goes into the cocktail lounge
and starts throwing them down.
He's still in the lounge
when the plane crashes on takeoff.
So when the guy finds out,
he can't believe it.
If he'd stayed on the plane,
he'd be dead.
If everybody thinks he's dead,
he won't have to pay the 15 or the vig.
Keep going.
Leo's wife is brought to the airport
to get any personal effects
that weren't destroyed.
Leo's bags were on the plane,
so the wife tells 'em what to look for.
Ah!
Oh, my Leo! My Leo!
Later, the airline people visit his wife
and offer her a settlement,
based on what he woulve earned
from the dryBcleaner's the rest of his life.
So how much is that?
He gets his wife to cash the cheque
and he goes to Vegas with the dough.
He should call her
to let her know when to come.
She never hears from him,
but he turns the 300,000 into 500,000.
He's winning
and he can't tell anyone who he is!
So we're showing his desire
to be famous.
He's got the dough to buy his way in,
mix with the celebs...
he can't resist, so he comes to LA.
I dunno about the celebrities.
That was just added,
but, yeah, he comes to LA and...
I don't know what happens next.
Thas it, thas your movie?
I said I had an idea for a movie.
Thas half a movie with holes in it.
There's maybe 40 minutes there.
You don't have a girl, a female lead,
or anybody to sympathise with.
- You don't have a good guy.
- The shylock is a good guy.
The shylock is barely mentioned.
And is not believable
the wife'd get a settlement that fast.
Harry doesn't realise
is a true story-that Miami flight?
On the news every day for a week.
Harry must have been busy.
Thas where you got the idea?
Part of it, yeah.
You're not the guy, the dry-cleaner?
Leo.
No, you wouldn't be talking to me.
- No, I'm not the guy, Harry.
- But you do work for the casino?
For Gos sake, he's the shylock.
Thas what you do?
Thas what I did. After I'm done here,
I don't know what I'll do.
Well, I got an early call.
No problemo. Go on up to bed.
Harry, I would like you and your
new buddy to get out of my house.
Oh, yeah. Well, sure.
It was absolutely a pleasure
to meet you, Karen.
Hmm.
I guess there's times you have to get
rough, if one of your customers don't pay.
They always pay.
You pack a gun?
Not really.
Ever been arrested?
I've been picked up for loan sharking
and racketeering, but never convicted.
Racketeering.
Covers a lot of ground, doesn't it?
Get to the point, Harry. You want me
to do something for you?
Thas us.
Good girl. Good girl.
Don't say nothin', just sit
and act like you're waiting.
What you talkin' about?
Give me the fuckin' money.
Sit down.
Now be lookin'.
Man to your right in the blue shirt.
The other way. Derecho.
Thas a federal officer.
Most likely DEA. He moves his leg,
look for the bulge. Savvy "bulge"?
Thas his backup piece.
Try it without lookin' right at him.
Whas your name?
Yayo Portillo.
All right, I'm gonna get up,
when I'm gone you sit in this seat,
under you ass is a key to a locker
where your half million is,
along with some product
we're returning.
Powder's been stepped on
so many times is baby food.
You're supposed to give me
the money yourself!
Try to be cool, yahoo.
I told you where it is. Do it how
I told you, and have a safe trip home.
What you have for breakfast, baby?
How come you weigh so much?
You have a burrito?
OK, give it to the nice lady,
there you go.
Say thank you.
Thank you.
Bye-bye.
Like fucking clockwork, huh, Bear?
Hi, Bo.
Ready to go for a ride, sweetie?
I told you to watch your mouth
round my daughter.
The white zone is for loading only.
These guys, my investors,
they run a limo service,
put money in some of my pictures,
did OK, they're happy.
This was a few months ago,
when I was planning my next picture,
about this band of killer circus freaks.
There's this 700lb fat lady,
has a way of seducing guys...
Harry, look at me.
You're trying to tell me you fucked up
without sounding stupid.
Thas hard to do.
Les talk about where you're at, OK?
You blew 200 grand of their money
in Vegas and didn't tell 'em. Why?
They wouldn't have taken it
with any understanding or restraint.
If you're so scared,
why take it to Vegas to begin with?
I needed half a million to buy a script.
A blockbuster, but quality.
No mutants or maniacs.
This is gonna be my Driving Miss Daisy.
Murray Saffrin who wrote my Grotesque
pictures showed it to me one day,
said he's got a star interested,
would I produce?
Which star?
Two-time Academy Award nominee,
Martin Weir.
Thas Martin Weir!
He played the mob guy in Cyclone.
One of his best parts.
No, his best part was the crippled
gay guy who climbed Mt Whitney.
Ride The Clouds.
The woman, she looks familiar.
She's a rock star.
Every day they have breakfast.
He faces west, so he sees his billboard.
She faces east so she can wear shades.
Anyway, Murray's shrink
is Martin's personal trainer's shrink.
Murray's shrink gives the script
to Martin's trainer, who reads it to Martin.
Martin loves it.
So whas the problem?
Problem is Murray. Heart attack.
Doris, Murray's widow,
hears about the Martin Weir thing,
and because we didn't have a contract,
she wants half a million for the script.
Ah, so you want my dry-cleaner
to invest in your movie.
That, or what if some accident
was to befall the widow Saffrin?
No, I'm not gonna pop her, OK?
It was just a thought.
I'll meet these limo guys, tell 'em to leave
you alone in a way they'll understand.
You don't know these guys.
Believe me, I know 'em
a whole lot better than you do.
I asked this literary agent what kind of
writing paid best, he said ransom notes.
Here it is - Mr Lovejoy.
Lovejoy sits at the wheel,
watching the bar across the street...
Is he following someone?
Read it, is a grabber.
Harry, I think your investors are here.
Oh, Jesus!
All right, this is the plan. I want these
guys to sit here, not on the couch.
Keep the blinds open.
I want the light in their eyes.
I'll sit at the desk. I don't want
you to introduce me. Just start talking.
I want you to stand behind them
as they sit down. Understand?
They'll be looking at you,
but they don't know who you are.
Thas right.
Do not tell 'em who I am.
- I gotta say something.
- No, you don't.
Unless is "Glad you assholes stopped
by, now I can straighten you out."
You're kidding, right?
Just say the movie's been postponed.
And whatever you do,
don't say anything about Mr Lovejoy.
All right, les go.
Hey, Ronnie!
Harry, all right!
Have we entered a time warp? I feel
like I'm in Hollywood of yesteryear.
Have a seat right there.
Cool.
This is my associate, Chili Palmer.
Just so there's no misunderstanding,
your investment is just as solid
as the day you signed.
I can hear you, man,
but where the fuck are you?
Right here!
What I've been wondering is,
where's he been?
Yeah, where you been, Harry?
New York. I was scouting locations.
The main thing is that Freaks will
be put off for a couple of months.
- A couple of months?
- Yeah.
Just a couple of months, yeah.
We need more er... prep.
Bullshit, man!
We have an agreement.
We're going to do this picture.
I just have another project first,
one I promised this guy for years.
I wanna see your books.
Show me a two with five zeros after it.
I wanna see your books,
your fuckin' bank statements...
Hey, Ronnie. Look at me.
You have a piece of a movie,
not a piece of Harry.
If he wants to do another movie
this year, thas how is gonna be.
Excuse me...
but who the fuck are you?
I'm the one telling you how it is.
Cat.
What is this other movie, Harry?
Harry, let me answer this.
First, who am I talking to, him or you?
You can talk to me.
Thas what I thought.
Let me put it this way.
Outside of Freaks, is none
of your fucking business what we do.
Whoa! Here it is, right here.
This is the project - Mr Lovejoy.
I'm not puttin' one over on you.
What is it, a porno flick?
Is fluff,
you wouldn't be interested.
You think we see your movies?
I've seen better film on teeth.
So how 'bout you just take
our 20 points out of Freaks,
and put 'em in this other one?
No, I can't do that.
You're positive about that?
Yeah, is a different kind of deal,
is structured...
OK. Then be good enough
to hand us our money back.
Or let us come in on this new deal.
Let us know.
By Friday, or you're fuckin'
dead as disco. You hear me?
Take your time, Harry.
We're not animals. Are we, Ronnie?
What?
What?
Maybe I wasn't clear, but I thought
I told you to keep your mouth shut.
I had to tell 'em something.
Never say anything
unless you have to.
You asked me to get these guys
off your back.
Then you offer a piece of Mr Lovejoy.
I couldn't believe my fuckin' ears.
I told them I'd think about it.
In this town, that means nothing.
Thas the difference between you
and me, Harry. I say what I mean.
I want Martin Weir, I talk to Martin Weir,
not his trainer's shrink.
Shrink's trainer.
Take me back to my car.
Yeah?
Tommo. Chili.
Where you been?
I been lookin' all over.
Ray Bones is looking for you.
Where are you?
I'm in LA now. I'm going into
the movie business-producing.
What the fuck do you know
about makin' movies?
I don't think the producer
has to know much.
I gotta go. Call me
when you know more about Bones.
Hey, Karen, how you doin'?
What are you doing here?
Listen, I wanted to apologise
for breaking in last night.
You broke in again to apologise
for breaking in before?
No, your patio door was open.
You shouldn't do that.
Well, lock it on your way out.
You had a bad day, huh?
The director said I couldn't reach
the emotional core of the character.
What? Obviously he didn't see
Bride Of The Mutant.
You saw that one?
When you say to the alien mother
that her time on earth is finished,
Joan Crawford on her best day
wished she had the emotion,
the intensity that you had.
That was a good scene -
for a horror movie.
No, for any movie.
I know I'm better than walking round
in fuck-me pumps, waiting to scream.
Yeah, but what a scream.
It would be nice to get the chance
to say one great line.
Like when Bette Davis walks up
to the guy and says "I'd kiss you
but I just washed my hair".
How come you don't work with Harry?
Cos I married Martin Weir.
He was a full-time job.
- Have you read Harry's new script?
- No.
He says is the best thing
he's ever read.
He means after Slime Creatures III.
Did Harry ask you to help him
put Martin in a movie?
Harry's dreaming
of a $40 million movie,
with a star he'll never sign
with or without my help.
He said Martin flipped over it.
Martin's known for his flipping.
When is time to make a deal, he flips out.
Why don't I pick you up a script,
then you can read it yourself?
Don't go out of your way.
Nah, is nothing.
Well, I gotta have a talk
with my runaway dry-cleaner.
See how your story ends.
Touch Of Evil's playing near my hotel.
We can check it out if you want.
Watch Charlton Heston be a Mexican.
Thas all right. Another time.
See you around.
See you.
The fellow with a million smackers
And nervous indigestion
Hi. My name is Ray,
I'm a friend of Chili Palmer's.
Have you spoken with Mr Palmer
since your husband blew up?
Oh, once or twice.
What was it you talked about?
Nothing really. This and that.
This and that?
Fay... Fay, I want us
to be friends, I really do.
And we all know friends don't hit
each other-unless they have to.
So what do you say you tell me
exactly what the fuck is goin' on?
OK?
Good evening, sir.
And a very good evening
to you, too, sir.
Leo.
Look at me.
I'd have never thought you'd be so dumb.
Leaving over 300 grand in a closet.
I guess you are.
I didn't know where else to keep it.
Where would you?
How about a bank?
They'd report it to the IRS.
You don't open an account,
you get a safe deposit box.
How did you know I was here?
Next time you write to your wife,
don't use hotel stationery.
It was Fay, wasn't it?
Did she tell you my life history?
Leo, I'm here to save your ass.
How? By taking my money?
No, the money you won today is yours.
Is all mine!
Leo, sit down.
I don't know how you got this far,
you're so fuckin' dumb,
but you're through,
and I'll explain why.
Ray Bones is the man
you're dealing with now,
and when he finds out what you did,
he'll take everything.
Then most likely he'll shoot you,
so you won't tell.
I'm not gonna do that.
I'm not gonna hurt you.
There's 310,000 here. I'm taking
the 300 you scammed from the airlines,
and the ten thas over,
I'm gonna borrow from you.
Wait... You take all my money,
but you're borrowing part of it?
At 18%. Don't ask another
fuckin' question. I'm leaving now.
But you won't know where I am.
I don't even know where I'll be.
I'll find you, Leo.
You leave a trail like a caterpillar.
Hey!
Hey, wait a minute.
Whas this 18% shit?
You wanna borrow ten,
the vig is three bills a week.
thas 25 big ones.
Hey, you hear... hear me?
This is good. This Mr Lovejoy...
It needs a better ending, but yes,
I see why Harry wants to do it.
I knew he was lyin',
sayin' this wasn't any good,
but holding on to it,
like you'd have to break his fingers!
Thas funny. I was thinking
what I'd have to break of yours.
I'm explaining why I'm here,
in case you thought I came to rob
any of this dusty old shit.
I wouldn't make you out
to be a burglar.
Harry called you his associate.
What does that mean?
I never heard your name,
or read it in Variety or any place.
I'm his associate.
You must bring
something heavy to the deal.
I do. Me.
It says here
you're getting Martin Weir.
Thas right.
Come on.
How you gonna do that?
I'm gonna take a gun, put it to his head,
I'm gonna say "Sign, Martin,
or you're dead."
I wonder, would that work?
You know who I see as Al Roxy?
Harvey Keitel.
He was good in that movie Fingers.
You know who else? Morgan Freeman.
Morgan Freeman.
But he's a coloured guy.
So what? Where does it say
the man's got to be white?
Colour's what the part needs, man.
You need somebody with some style.
So what do you think of the script?
The first thing thas got to go
is the title.
Murray Saffrin would be better
than Lovejoy.
I'm with you on that.
Why don't you and I sit down,
write the script over where it needs it.
You could write one of these?
Nothin' to it. You get an idea,
set it down on paper,
then you hire somebody
to fill in the commas and shit,
fix up the spelling,
where you have tricky words.
Although I've seen scripts,
I know words weren't spelt right,
there was hardly any commas at all.
So I don't think thas too important.
You get to the end, fade out.
You done.
Thas it?
Thas all there is to it?
Then what the fuck
do I need you for?
I'm offering my services, man.
I'll tell you what. If I need
a ride some time, I'll let you know.
How could you arrest me here?
This is my country.
This is where you're going to die.
That was no miss. I don't want
to shoot you in the back.
Unless you'd rather
try to run for it.
Did you bring my wife?
She's in the car.
I've got it all on tape.
You sure you got enough?
Go play it back, you'll see.
Thas the second bullet
I stopped for you.
Thas the second bullet
I stopped for you.
You're going down, Orson.
Isn't somebody going to come
and take him away?
You really liked him, didn't you?
The cop did.
The cop did. The one
who killed him. He loved him.
Well, Hank was a great detective.
But a lousy cop.
But a lousy cop.
Is that all you have to say for him?
He was some kind of a man.
What does it matter
what you say about people?
Goodbye, Karen.
Adios.
Adios.
Wow, huh?
You've been here the whole time.
No, I just caught the end.
Welles didn't want to do this movie.
He couldn't get out of the contract.
Sometimes you do your best work
when you got a gun to your head.
I brought you a copy of the script.
I've read it.
Harry left a copy at the house.
How'd you like it?
Is not horrible.
I don't like the title
or some characters.
So you read it?
I haven't yet, but I will.
You and Harry make a great team.
Is that right?
I'll make a deal with you.
Oh, found a character you like?
I want to produce it
especially if I help him get Martin.
Hey, thas fair.
So, what do you get out of it?
Is that why you came here,
to ask me that?
I wanna know.
Why would anyone
want to be in movies?
Yesterday you were a loan shark.
I was never into it and especially
that bullshit about respect.
It was bad enough
treating these guys like heroes,
those stupid comments
they think are so funny.
You think the movie business
is different?
I like movies and I figured
if I help Harry make one,
I'll find out what to do
outside of having an idea.
I was in the money business
and I have a lot of ideas in my head.
I'm going to talk to Martin tomorrow.
I told Harry I'd meet you and him
at the restaurant afterwards.
This might just work out.
You never know.
Sounds fine.
Adios.
I spent eight hours at the airport
looking at people's bulges!
This is not the way we do business.
You don't know who you're messing with.
I want the fucking money!
You gonna smoke, you get
the hell off my $70-a-yard carpet.
I told you where the money is.
Now go and get it.
I'll tell you somethin',
if they bust me, I tell them I come to
get something for you. Thas all I know.
Thas all you know, huh?
Thas all I know.
Wait here. I'll be back directly.
Keep an eye on him for me.
Thas the way you get things done.
What the fuck
you gonna do with that?
I'm taking you out, yahoo.
See that,
the way the man went right over?
We could get Chili Palmer here.
You could fix my railing
to give way like in the movies.
I invite him to look at my view,
get him to lean over...
Is the dumbest idea I ever heard.
Here's the thing, Bear,
whas the point of living in LA
unless you're in the movie business?
High up in it. Thas why Harry's
going to produce Mr Lovejoy with me,
not Chili Palmer.
I can't believe
this map is accurate.
I bought it from a kid on Sunset.
You were supposed
to meet me at the restaurant.
It says Martin Weir's house
across from George Hamilton.
- That must be...
- Chili?
Nicole?
Is Nicki now.
I don't believe this!
Hey!
I know her!
Hi, Nicki.
Karen, shit, I didn't see you.
How are you?
You gotta come in,
you gotta meet Martin!
Where you been?
What have you been doing?
Chili was the only one
who didn't try to hit on me.
What a gentleman.
Do you like my hair black?
Nice, yeah,
especially under the arms.
Martin won't let me shave. Takes
him back to the '60s or something.
Speak of the devil.
Karen, look at you.
Hi, Martin.
You smell so good.
She always smells so good.
Martin, this is Chili Palmer.
Chili, is it?
Nice to meet you, Martin.
Chili ran a club I used to play at
in Miami. How is Momo these days?
Dead.
Bummer. I'll let you
get to your movie talk.
Chili, do not leave
without saying goodbye to me.
So...
You know how beautiful you are?
You really are beautiful.
I'm sitting here looking at you and
having flashbacks, memories of us.
Really?
Yeah, and I'm wondering,
how did it all slip away?
It didn't slip away. You did when
you fucked Nicki at my birthday party.
That was a good party.
You know, Marty, you were so good
in that movie The Cyclone.
Martin. Yeah, it was a beautiful role.
All I had to do
was find the character's centre.
The stem I used to wind him up
and he'd just play.
If I didn't know better,
I'd have thought you was a made guy.
No acting there, right?
And the fink part...
I never met a fink
and I hope I never do,
but the way you played a fink,
thas how is gotta be.
Yeah.
Two weeks before shooting,
I went to Bensonhurst
to hear you guys talk.
I'm Italian, but grew up in Tazana.
I wanted to get the rhythms
of your speech.
We speak differently?
It was more your attitude, your tone.
Your speech patterns demonstrate
confidence in your opinions,
your indifference
to conventional views.
Like we don't give a shit?
Yeah, kinda. Yeah.
Once I get the authentic sounds
of speech, the patois, you know,
I can actually think the way
those guys do. Get inside.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Well, I'm one of those guys.
What am I thinking?
Well, don't get me wrong,
a metamorphosis doesn't take place,
that wouldn't be acting.
- So you don't know what I'm thinking?
- No, but I have to say I'm curious.
So you want to know?
- If you want to tell me.
- I'm thinking about a movie.
One of mine?
No. One we're producing.
With what? Wise guy money?
Maybe this wasn't a good idea.
I'm not connected to that any more
since I left that loansharking operation.
The pressure got too much for you?
I'm the one who applied the pressure.
Oh, yeah?
Can I ask you a question?
Yeah.
Actors like to pretend, right?
We've been known to make-believe.
Pretend this. You're a shylock.
A guy owes you 15 grand.
He skips town, he takes off.
What do you do?
Oh, Martin, for Chriss sake...
Just, you know...
I'm doing Shylock instead of
a shylock. Whas my motivation?
The acquisition of money,
to collect, to inflict pain if I must.
Guy splits with my money, I go
after him, what you think I'd do?
- Look at me.
- I am looking at you.
Look at me the way I'm looking at you.
Put it in your eyes.
"You're mine, asshole," without saying it.
OK, how 'bout this?
Are you telling me you're sleepy,
you want to go to bed?
All right, OK...
Now you're squinting
like you need glasses.
What do you...?
- Look at me.
- What?
What I'm thinking is
"You're mine. I fuckin' own you."
But I'm not feeling
one way or another about it.
You're not a person to me, you're
an entry in a book, a guy who owes me.
All right, how about this?
Woh, oh, wow, not bad!
Not bad.
No wonder you're Martin Weir.
Thas what I think of you, asshole.
Nothin'.
I believe it.
So, I turn this on
when I confront the guy?
You haven't found him yet,
he's split for Las Vegas.
- How do I know that?
- Because his wife told you.
His wife told me. OK.
Harry, how you doing?
Great.
I'm expecting some people.
You must be doing some big deals
doing lunch in a place like this.
I'm working on a few things.
I hear you bagged Martin Weir
for Mr Lovejoy.
Word gets around, huh?
Chili Palmer told me
when he called me over to talk about it.
He showed you my script?
Yeah. I was wondering
why he would do that.
The wife sues the airline?
Some gutsy babe!
Good looking, too, like Karen.
When do I meet the husband
and give him the look?
Thas not so simple.
There's a mob guy.
You owe him money.
He wants to take you out
because you broke his nose.
Keep going.
At this point, basically,
thas gotta be it.
Thas all you'll tell me?
The reason we came by
was to talk about Mr Lovejoy.
We understand that you read
the script and you loved it.
Refresh my memory.
Listen, how'd you like
to get your hands on $500,000?
Pay me back at your convenience,
no interest.
Are you serious?
All I want in return
is to work on this movie with you.
I've got some ideas
on how to fix it up.
Can I get you anything else?
Another one for Mr Zimm. A double.
You're just going to give me
this $500,000?
We'll talk about that
but first I gotta know,
how'd you hook up
with this Chili Palmer?
Mr Lovejoy was good.
I'll call Buddy, set up a meeting.
Who's Buddy?
- His agent.
- Karen knows him.
You are interested?
I'm intrigued.
Take an element of The Cyclone,
the way the visual fabric is maintained
while the metaphor
plays on different levels.
Is this your ride?
I like to sit high,
check everything out.
It is the Cadillac of mini-vans.
Ho...
Check this out.
Mind if I take it for a spin?
He was watching Letterman, huh?
Sneaky, that Chili Palmer.
Did he ever find that dry-cleaner,
the one with all the money on him?
Leo? I don't know.
I bet he did and he ain't giving you one
penny to help you out, not the way I am.
Assuming I go along with this,
when can I have the $500,000?
Whenever you want.
The money's in $100 bills
in a locker at the airport.
At the airport?
It was waiting out there on a deal
that didn't go through, Harry.
One you don't want to know about.
I don't know...
Is not a thing you'd do,
so why not send Chili Palmer?
If he gets busted,
you're out of the thing, Harry.
C18.
The magic number.
Cat.
I'm positive it was Susan Hayward.
It was Rita Hayworth and Glenn Ford.
Excuse me, Harry.
Wait here.
I'd like you to meet
my associate, Bear.
Stuntman, champion weightlifter,
as you might have noticed.
Throws things out I don't want.
Turn around and go back to Miami.
A stuntman. Any good?
Am I any good?
Thas not bad for a guy his size.
If you can get out of here
before I take my coat off,
I won't clean up the floor with you.
You don't know me.
You only think you do.
- That guy is a stuntman.
- Yeah, he was in Creatures II.
Rough business, this movie business.
I may go back to loansharking
for a rest!
What are you still doing
with those guys?
He happens to be loaning me
$500,000. No strings.
I can write any kind of agreement.
Cash or cheque?
Cash. Is in a locker
at the airport at this moment.
A locker at the airport?
Tell me you're not that stupid.
You're being set up.
He's paying you back.
That right? He's setting me up?
Why did Catlett say
I should send you to pick it up,
since you haven't done a thing
for me except show Catlett my script?
You're right,
you're not being set up.
At least Bo has invested
in three of my movies.
We spoke with Martin.
We?
- Chili and me.
- Really?
Told us to call Buddy,
set up a meeting.
A meeting. You and Karen?
Harry...
He's been in town two days
and he thinks he's David O Selznik.
Shall I deal with Bo or will you
talk with your dry-cleaner?
I've found him,
but forget about Leo's money.
Do you have it?
If I gave you Leo's money you'd
have Ray Bones all over your ass.
Who?
Ray Barboni.
He owns Leo now that Momo's dead.
Who the fuck is Momo?
Where do you get these names?
I'll go to the airport and if there's
no problem I'll get your money.
I wouldn't get my hopes up.
Maybe I'll call Barboni and ask him
if he wants to invest in my movie.
He's not a movie fan. Gimme the key.
Oh, Harry.
Tell him he's got to be out by 5am.
The actor'll only work one night.
I gotta go. Yeah.
Coming!
- Who is it?
- Me.
Oh, fuck!
I heard that.
Hello, Doris!
Harry Zimm!
You look like a wet kiss.
Mmm!
Yum! Aren't you gonna offer me
whatever it is you taste like?
Come in, Doris.
My favourite colour! Putty.
Yeah, I like it.
What do you want, Doris?
I miss Murray, Harry.
Yeah, I miss him, too.
Hell of a good writer.
I made him what he was.
He was a hack. He couldn't get a job
writing for anybody but you.
I'm being honest. He was
a lousy writer but a good husband.
I didn't know till it was too late.
Yeah, well, 20/20 hindsight
and all that.
I hate being alone.
The house is so quiet, so lonely.
It needs
a man's touch.
Nice necklace, Doris.
Mmm!
Doris...
I don't know how I feel about this.
You seem to feel fine about it.
I mean morally. Murray was a friend.
Murray's dead.
Does this mean you'll reconsider
our deal on Mr Lovejoy?
No, but I talked to a gorgeous
young executive at Paramount
who happened to get his hands
on the script.
Whad he say?
He said if Martin's interested,
I can get half a million for it.
Don't worry, Harry.
I'm still gonna give you till Friday.
How honourable of you.
Harry, you want me to go,
just say so.
Oh, what the hell?
Fuck!
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
What?
Ray Barboni?
Who is this?
Is this Ray Bones?
It depends. Who is this?
This is the one telling you
the way it is. OK, asshole?
You want your 300 grand or not?
What 300 grand?
The 300 grand
Leo Devoe scammed off an airline.
The 300 grand that Chili Palmer
now has in his possession.
Hello? Are you there?
I don't like this anonymous crap.
You're either a big chickenshit
or you're not for real.
I am very for real.
So, who are you?
I work for Harry Zimm.
Who?
Harry Zimm,
a major Hollywood player.
I never heard of him.
Because you've never left
fucking Miami, dipshit.
Maybe you ought to come out to LA
and meet Mr Zimm.
OK, so this Zimm guy
is asking for a finder's fee?
Zimm don't ask for dick.
Zimm tells you the way it is, or else.
Or else what?
Use your fucking imagination!
Excuse me, could you help me out?
I got a surprise gift in here for my wife.
Could you put it in locker C17?
Ten bucks. Take you two minutes.
Yeah, OK.
You'll need this.
Gotta make it quick, though,
she's in the john. C17.
Good man.
Les go, boys.
Excuse me, sir.
Agent Curtis, Drug Enforcement.
These are agents Dunbar and Morgan.
Would you come with us, please?
Whas going on?
Les behave ourselves.
Mr Barbone? Welcome to LA.
Did you have a good flight?
I hope you drive better than you spell.
Is Barboni, not Barbone.
Want to go to the hotel first,
Mr Escobar?
Wanna get my fucking money.
You live in Miami?
What are you doing in Los Angeles?
I'm a movie producer.
You have a card?
Not yet. I just got started.
Whas this all about?
I could strip-search you.
Pat him down.
Hands on the wall. Spread your legs.
Why are you at the airport?
I was supposed to pick up my wife
but she wasn't on the plane.
Is she coming in from Newark?
We had a fight
and she went back to Brooklyn.
So I said "Come out West. A change
of scenery might get us back together."
She said OK but evidently
she changed her mind.
Your wife a Lakers fan?
I am. I like everything thas LA.
I love it out here.
He's clean.
You can go.
What are you guys looking for?
A bomb?
Something that shouldn't be there.
Get an attendant to open the lockers.
Thas an idea!
I'd do that. Then I'd get
the right guy next time.
Mr Barbone, to go to the beach,
this is the freeway.
On the weekend, there's no traffic.
I'm from Miami fucking Beach
and you wanna show me the ocean!
Does the sun ever shine
or is this smog around all the time?
They say the smog's the reason
we have such beautiful sunsets.
Thas what they say, huh?
What a bunch of fucking bullshit!
I don't know how I missed you
in that shirt.
Is like the other one but with
a different coloured hibiscus.
You didn't have the key on you?
You think I'd be here? To set someone up,
is gotta be a surprise.
You spotted 'em, huh?
Did you see it work in some movie?
I gotta ask you for that key back.
The set up didn't work
and you want the key back?!
Bo said if you didn't
open the locker, the deal's off.
You're serious?
This is how you do business?
I'm surprised you're not dead.
There's no fucking way you're getting
that key unless you got a gun.
Move away from the fucking car.
I don't need a gun.
All right, all right. Slow down.
Breathe through your mouth, slow.
Bear, look at me.
Tell your boss I don't ever wanna see
him again. A deal's a deal. Got that?
OK, get up.
What are you hanging around
a guy like that for, anyway?
You were a stunt man, right?
Whas he ever done?
- You OK?
- Not too bad.
How about when you fell
down the stairs?
I pulled my quadriceps.
How many movies you been in?
About 60.
No shit? What were some of them?
You won't have seen none of 'em.
No, what were some of them?
- You wouldn't know.
- I know movies.
Harry Zimm?
Who is it?
I'm the dipshit
who's never been outta Miami.
Mr Barboni, what a nice surprise!
Uh, have a seat.
Right here. Right here.
Ray Bones.
Barboni...
Oh, yes. Uh...
They say the fucking smog
is the fucking reason
you have such beautiful
fucking sunsets.
Yes...
What do you mean he faked them out?
He was ready for the set up.
So where's the money?
I guess is still in the locker.
You guess? You don't know?
I don't care, Bo.
I really don't care.
Bear, I'm gonna call you later.
Mr Escobar, what a surprise.
Welcome to LA.
Where's my nephew?
Your who?
Yayo! Where is he?
I haven't seen Yayo.
He's my sister's kid. No father.
Personally, I think he's a retard.
I only gave him the job as a favour
to my sister. You understand?
Family. I know.
He comes up here with our product.
He should come home with $500,000.
He never shows up.
Meanwhile, my sister's
going crazy with worry.
I just wanna know
where my fucking money is.
I don't know. I gave him his money.
You gave him the money?
I gave him a key to a locker
with the money in it.
Why did you do that?
There were a zillion
DEA guys in the terminal.
A zillion? Thas a lot!
Maybe your nephew panicked
and took off.
Why are you talking this bullshit?
Maybe I have Ramon and Cesar
staple your tongue to your chin!
What do you think?
I think you speak very good English.
We're gonna spend the weekend
at the Universal Sheridan. See the shark.
Watch that Miami Vice spectacular.
Oh, nice.
After, we're gonna come back here,
get my money.
Jefe, no se olvide de Yayo.
Oh, yeah. And Yayo, too.
His fucking nephew?!
You go straight to the bank.
We got dick in the bank.
We dumped it all into Harry's movie.
I'm talking about you, Ray Barboni,
owning a piece of a motion picture.
How much is up to you.
What I'm saying is,
you could invest part
of the 300 grand Palmer owes you,
or all of it. Is up to you.
Where's Chili Palmer?
Where's Leo Devoe?
- Where's my fucking money?
- Ray, look at me.
What?
Look at me, Ray.
Did you just say look at you?
Look at me, Ray.
I'll tell you what, Harry.
Take a fucking look at this.
And have a peek at this.
You know, Harry, this is the exact
fucking thing I needed.
A little fucking exercise
after that long fucking
plane ride!
You got a big problem, Harry.
Harry?
Come on, Harry,
don't pass out on me.
Look at me, Harry.
Where's my money?
Where's my money?
Harry, I'm gonna ask you one more time,
then I gotta shoot you, you don't tell me.
Where's my money?
Your money? Who the fuck are you?
I'm Ray Barboni from Miami.
I'm supposed to know you?
He belongs to me and my partner.
- This piece of shit owes me money.
- Get in line.
I don't like waiting in lines.
Tough shit. This ain't Miami.
You gotta ask me.
Fuck you, fuckball. LA is an open city.
I don't need permission
from nobody for nothing.
Oh, really? Well, I just closed it.
You must be one of those
quick-draw artists,
the way you got your gun
stuck way down in your belt.
What have you got there?
They're always fucking jamming
on you at the wrong time.
Don't you puke on my shoes, Harry.
Hey, Harry.
I want you to do me a favour.
Take this gun and
put a pill in the bro' over there.
You're thinking, why shoot him?
He's already dead.
The police have tests
to tell whether you fired a gun.
And I was never here.
Do you understand? I was never here.
If you say I was, I'm gonna
throw you outta that fucking window.
Knock it off, Harry, we haven't got
a lot of time. Thas it. Thas it.
Not a worry in the world.
- Your pool needs skimming.
- Yeah.
That was Martin.
He wants us to have lunch tomorrow.
Depends on who's paying.
Definitely not Martin.
Movie stars never pick up the cheque.
Most don't know their phone number.
I can't get used to the idea
that the two of you were together.
You don't like Martin, do you?
No, I do! I think he's...
I think he's short!
But, uh, I know he's a good actor, but
what was it exactly that you saw in him?
Oh... Martin was different then.
He wasn't a movie star.
What about your story?
You thought of a title yet?
How about Get Shorty?
Chili's Hollywood Adventure?
Thas a different story.
I'm still working on it.
I'm getting the visual fabric together.
But I have added to it.
There's a girl in it now.
- Really?
- Mmm-hmm.
She looks like you.
Oh!
You could be an actor. You act
sometimes but you don't show it.
You thought I was faking?
No, not then! I mean in general.
You don't mean a movie star?
More like a character actor?
Whichever.
I could see myself
in a Robert De Niro part
or even a Al Pacino,
playing a real hard-on.
I couldn't see myself in them movies
where the three guys
get left with the baby...
Chili. Chili, look at me.
Leave a message.
Karen, is Doris. You might wanna come
visit Harry in the Emergency Room.
Les go.
I stopped by his office to ask him
to take me to Le Dome for dinner.
I see Harry and some other man
lying on the floor.
Goodnight, Todd, Lewis.
Oh, man!
Jesus!
Harry, my God!
He can't talk.
He's full of Demerol.
According to Todd, Sergeant Randall,
a man named Ronnie
wanted to collect a debt from Harry.
He got rough and Harry shot him.
You shot Ronnie?!
Hello, hello! OK, Mr Zimm has
a broken jaw and some neck trauma
to go with these fractured hands.
Excuse us, folks.
Martin wanted to meet us for lunch
tomorrow at the lvy, and I'd cancel,
but he's going to Cannes
so I think Chili and I should go.
Who wants to take a crack
at wiring Mr Zimm's jaw?
Son of a bitch! Son of a bitch!
Hi, Bo.
Hey, Farrah! Little honey bunny!
You wipe your feet?
Yeah.
Thas my girl.
Keep Uncle Bo's carpet nice and white.
I been calling you. Where you been?
See the paper?
I seen it. I don't believe it.
It says Harry shot Ronnie five times,
four through the chest
and one through his foot.
His foot! Jesus! Poor Ronnie.
Tonight, later on, I've got one for you
that won't involve any heavy work.
I want you to take a look
around Chili Palmer's hotel room.
No, I can't. I can't.
I gotta take Farrah
over to her mother's.
I quit!
I don't work for you no more.
I came down to tell you to your face.
The Colombians are in LA,
upset about their money,
and it turns out Yayo
was Escobar's nephew.
Thas your problem. You shot the guy.
Farrah! Hey, honey bunny!
Come here, honey bunny!
Come and see Uncle Bo, come on.
Uncle Bo hates being alone.
He hates it so much, if he takes a fall,
he's not gonna fall by himself.
He's gonna plea-deal his way out.
Give up his ace stunt man, now one
of the West Coass dope kings,
if they go easy on him.
In Federal joints, you get extra time
with your daddy on Father's Day.
Let her go, Bo.
After this one, I'm out.
Is the last time we talk.
Remember Harry's story about
the dry-cleaner Palmer was after,
- Who stole 300 grand from the airline?
- What about him?
You go look around Palmer's hotel room
while I check out Karen Flores's place.
Meet me back here at midnight.
What kind of food is it at the lvy?
Continental, but Martin
won't order from the menu.
Why not?
Movie stars have to think
of something that isn't on the menu.
Harry, you should be in the hospital!
You look like you're in
one of your own horror movies.
Whad he say?
"My project."
Mr Zimm!
Hey, Harry! Attaboy, killer!
Right this way.
You're a celebrity. You shoulda
shot someone a long time ago.
Hi.
Hi.
'Scuse me. How you doin'?
Hello. Hi.
How you doin'? Hey, Chili.
Good to see you.
Harry! Oh, my goodness!
- Hi, Martin.
- Sweet face.
You look great. You smell good, too.
Thanks.
So, Harry, I hear you had
quite an experience.
Anyway, I'm glad you're OK.
I'm glad you rejected me ten years ago
for the part of Eddie Solomon,
the paedophile clown.
If I'd have gotten that part,
I might have been typecast!
Have you guys ordered?
Can we order?
Excuse me, could you...?
- Hi, whas your name?
- Stephanie.
Hi, Stephanie.
Can you make an egg white omelette
with slightly brown shallots and no salt?
Bring one for the table.
No...
How about those strawberry frapps,
drinks with little strawberries?
And bring two straws for Harry.
Anyway, I think the romance angle
in your story is critical.
This shouldn't be a hop in the sack.
These two should fall in love.
Which two?
Then, when the mob guy's chasing them,
it adds a wistful element
to their romance.
Mob guy?
As the mob guy, is another
man's wife I'm sleeping with.
After all, you have such morals.
I have to run,
but I'd like to see them having
misgivings about wanting the money.
Is a moral dilemma for them.
They rationalise taking it,
but in the end, they can't.
What money?
The 300 large.
I shouldn't discuss this until I've read
the script, but I have such a good feeling.
I am that shylock.
Look at me, Harry.
Not bad!
You're really getting it down.
It scares me how well I know
this guy. I could do this tomorrow.
Doll face. You should think
about getting back into acting.
- I'll give it some heavy thought.
- OK.
Take care of yourself, Harry.
Enjoy.
Let me help you out. Go ahead.
Suck harder.
Chili, wake up!
Somebody's downstairs.
Is Harry.
How do you know?
He's doing what you did to him,
playing Letterman on TV.
Thas not Dave, is a movie. Hmm.
- You gonna go down?
- I don't know.
You don't know?
I know, I'm going!
Karen, you got a gun?
- No!
- Any kinda gun'll do.
No!
Ah. Sounds like Rio Bravo.
Duke... maybe this'll help.
Guess I'll take that drink.
I thought you would.
You want that gun, pick it up.
I wish you would.
I need the money.
What money?
The 300 grand you got
from a dry-cleaner named Leo.
You break into Karen Flores's house
and ask for 300 grand?
Just give me the money.
I can't believe how fucked up
your organisation is.
How about I count to three and organise
your brain all over the wall back there?
How 'bout that? One...
You're gonna shoot me now, huh?
- Just a second. Two...
- I can't believe this...
Karen!
She can't talk right now.
Nice scream.
They oughta give you more work.
I'll get you the money,
but is not here.
Fine. In the meantime,
I'll hold onto her.
I'm at 8150 Wonderland Avenue,
right off Laurel Canyon.
I'll be there, Karen.
- You get the money?
- No. What is this?
Plan B.
You make yourself comfortable.
Oh, for Chriss sake!
Calm down, Bear.
- This is life in prison!
- Don't fade on me now, Bear.
You gonna shoot me now?
Put me out of my misery!
Calm down, unless you wanna spend
your life with Farrah on your lap
in a roomful of felons!
So! This is one of them houses
that hang off the side of the cliff.
Where's Karen?
In my bathroom. Where's the money?
- Let me see her.
- Go ahead.
Karen!
Are you OK?
Guy's got a fucking pink toilet.
She's great! Give me the money.
I'm gonna settle something.
I've been shot at before, three times,
and I'm still here.
I'm gonna be here as long as I want.
So you gotta be nowhere near me,
Karen or Harry.
Take your money,
and leave the movie business to those
of us who know what we're doing.
Come on, Karen.
You broke in my house
and I have a witness.
What?
And it ain't John Wayne
or Dean Martin in El Dorado.
That was Rio Bravo.
Robert Mitchum was in El Dorado.
Dean Martin was in Rio Bravo.
Basically the same part.
John Wayne played John Wayne in both.
I can't wait for you to be dead.
Are you gonna let him...?
Thas for the stairs,
and thas for the airport!
Get him off my carpet
before he starts to bleed.
Make it look like he came at us,
you shoot him-self-defence.
Shouldn't he have a weapon,
a knife or something?
I'll get it later.
Bear, thas enough.
He's gonna look like somebody
beat him up and then shot him.
No, he ain't.
Waah!!
Hold on, man!
- Chili!
- What the hell are you doin'?
Karen, what the fuck are you doing?
She's shooting at us! Come on!
Oh! I'm sorry! I'm sorry.
Wow.
How do you think that happened?
Beats the shit outta me.
Were you scared up there?
You bet.
You don't act like it.
I was scared then, not now.
How long you want me to be scared?
I'll be right back.
How'd you get in here?
I told them I was you. I acted
real stupid and they believed me.
What brings you to LA, Bones?
Don't insult me, just turn around!
You're the dumbest fuck I ever met.
Lemme take a look in these pockets.
You shoulda told me about Leo Devoe.
Why would I do that?
Because the guy
is a customer of mine, dummy!
Well, well, well!
What have we here?
C18.
I wonder what this could be!
A locker key?
But where's the locker?
I checked the bag at the airport.
Which terminal?
Which terminal?
Sovereign.
You found Leo, huh?
You found him, you took his money,
you put it in a locker ready to go?
Why haven't you left?
I like it out here.
I been thinking, there's no reason
why you and I shouldn't get along.
Forget about that stuff. I don't
even remember how all this started.
You took a swing at me. Fuck it.
You owe me money. Fuck that.
You owe me the juice on the money.
Fuck that, too.
I say live and let die. But this...
this is strictly between you and I.
You say nothing to nobody
about this. Understood?
Whatever you say, Ray.
I think is only fair. Don't you?
Then is all settled.
I'll see you around.
Dumb fuck.
Come here.
The fucking airport.
Bingo, boys, les go.
Hey, Bones! Look at me.
Fuck you, fuckball!
Aaagh!!
Damn!
Cut! Cut!
I am pushing the right button.
You're not!
I'm pushing the right button.
Bear, show him how to do it, OK?
What do you wanna do, Harry?
Wrap. Is a wrap.
Come back tomorrow. Fuck!
You shoulve gone into overtime
to get that shot.
Is the second day
and we're two weeks behind.
And do me a favour, Harry. Next time...
Martin already told me that he loves it.
Look, Buddy. I don't think Martin is right.
Why the hell not?!
Because he's too short. Come on.
Why does he keep pushing Martin?
Packaging.
You can't make a Martin Weir
into a Mel Gibson.
Where do you wanna go?
Do you wanna go to Dan Tana's?