Ghost Babe (2023) Movie Script

[dramatic music]
[sign buzzing]
[horn honks]
[engine rumbling]
[upbeat jazz music]
The regular, boss?
Oh, Ms. Todd.
I'm a huge fan,
I love your work.
Well, thanks,
darling. Let me ask,
what's your favorite
movie of mine?
Uh, all of them?
[Thelma chuckles]
That's nice to hear.
-I appreciate the comp--
-Ms. Todd.
You're needed.
Let me finish my martini.
[music continues]
What do you want, Lucky?
I wanted some company.
Is that a crime?
Be gentle, you fool!
She's a star
and should be treated as such.
My apologies, Mr. Luciano.
Such a talent.
Look at this face.
It's like
she didn't even want it.
What are you doing here, Lucky?
Prohibition is over and the cops
are upstairs getting drunk.
New enterprise.
[mysterious music]
Have a little.
We don't agree
on anything anymore.
Where I come from,
we have a saying.
"If it's not broken,
don't fix it."
This spot works.
You've gotta
get with the times, toots.
Just like you with the talkies.
Yeah, well, there's
plenty of other places.
It doesn't have to be
in my backyard.
You're my lucky lady.
You're gonna give me trouble?
I made this face.
Who gave you your first part
in that movie?
[dramatic music]
[music increases]
I was wondering
if you were just going
to keep me here all night.
Sorry. I was just--
I was cleaning out my closet.
I found a moth's nest.
Do moths make nests, dear?
I don't know, just kiss me.
[jazz music]
I have something for you
I wanna show you.
Gray skies
Blue eyes
[mysterious tune]
A place in my heart
from the stars
You don't believe
in that silly stuff,
do you, sweetheart?
Well, whether
I believe or not, I--
I think it would look absolutely
stunning on you, don't you?
I have enough gifts
from the orients for one night.
And we can lust and fly
But I'll always love you
Until the end of time
You know it's right
The next ring I give you will be
around your finger, dear.
You know, you shouldn't have.
Through the times
all across the lane
Follow me
It's over 800 years old.
The woman said that
it had a protective spirit.
They are guardian lions.
[chuckles] Guardian lions?
She got one over on you,
you know that, right?
But I have to protect you,
Thelma, anyway that I can.
-I love you.
-...from the stars
By the way,
two first class tickets.
The luxury suite
on the SS California
leaves tomorrow.
We can be in Buenos Aires
in three weeks.
That sounds amazing.
But you know I'm under contract
-for two more pictures.
-[knocking on door]
Who's that?
It's a moth. Hide!
-You know it's right
[knocking on door]
[suspenseful music]
Mr. Luciano wants me
to escort you to the car.
He's afraid I'll get lost?
Ms. Todd,
-it's time.
-Let me get my coat.
Thank you for letting us
use your store room.
No problem.
Lovely necklace.
You didn't have
to get all dolled up.
Walk with me.
You know, I was thinking
about the girl you was
when I found you in that club.
Tap dancing?
I took you out
of a joint like that
and said you could
own a joint like this.
And you're a star to boot.
And who do you think
you have to thank for that?
You, Lucky.
Yeah, you see,
but I don't feel very thanked.
Maybe it's time
to give another girl a chance.
Let's go for a ride.
[car door opens]
[dramatic music]
I love a woman
that makes you chase her.
[crickets chirping]
Is she dead?
Doesn't matter!
[ominous music]
["Ghost Babe Theme Song"
by Dmtina and the Bumps]
You look like death, girl
with your pale complexion
A zombie
with a tough reflection
If you want
to love me, Ghost Babe
I'll go to hell
and back with you again
If you want
to love me, Ghost Babe
I'll give you all my soul
and all my sin
If you want
to love me, Ghost Babe
I'll give you all my soul
and all my sin
["Someday" by The Growlers]
Hang on for the ride
I think I feel
a change of tide
Just stay for one more night
One day
you're gonna be my wife
You'll never have
to worry again
I'm gonna be your man
Go, Shawn!
Oh, oh, someday
When tall boys
turn into champagne
When bologna
turns into steak
When I got gold
instead of change
When I can give you
everything you ever wanted
Instead of take
-[man] Come on--
I wanna put
your mind at ease
[Taylor chuckling]
Move it over, dude. I'm going
to make this crowd go wild.
-[Shawn] Bro, chill.
-[Taylor] Never!
...both be free
-Well, things ain't
so cool right now
Well, I promise
they'll get better
-[cheering and shouting]
-Find anyway somehow
That make you
wanna stay forever
He is so hot!
Awesome, bros! Sick!
When I got gold
instead of change
When I can give you
everything you ever wanted
Instead of take, oh someday
-Bro! What was that?
Dude, chill.
Dude, I could've gotten
hurt out there,
-why would you do that, man?
kind of in the middle
with my bro here.
I'll meet you
at the shack, alright?
you know you're
my best bro, right?
And best friends mess around
with one another
because they're
so cool with each other.
Are you saying
you aren't my best bro?
Of course, dude, but there's
hot babes on the beach
and you made me look
like a total barney, man.
Okay, bro. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that I'm
the better surfer. [laughing]
Come on, bro,
I'm killing babes! [laughing]
[cheerful music]
-What's up, Radman?
-What's up, Shawn?
-What's going on, brother?
-Dude, Taylor being harsh, bro?
It's like one should acknowledge
it sometimes, you know?
[cheerful music]
No, no, no.
[video game chiming]
Well, it looks like somebody
messed with my controller
And I think
we all know who it is
It's my best friend
and roommate Shawn
Who knows
how to reprogram controllers
Guys, quit being babies.
-[beatboxing continues]
-I'm going out to grab the mail.
...what a douche.
Get out of here!
-I'm about to beat you.
-[beatboxing continues]
[cheerful music]
Whoa, dude! No way!
What? Did you find out
that Radman's girlfriend
was actually a man?
Who, Donald? I mean, Donna.
No, dude, shut up!
We just scored a free house!
Dude, she was the greatest thing
that ever happened to me, bro.
-We just scored free house.
-What are you talking about?
I guess my grandpa had a will,
and when he died,
he left his house to me.
-[Shawn] Wait, Grandpa Herman?
Didn't he criminally get banned
from your high school
for yelling obscenities
at the ref during
that championship game?
-I love that guy!
-Yeah, that's him.
He was a little crazy
from time to time.
But you gotta love
old Grandpa Herms.
Wait, where is this place, man?
It says here
it's located on the hill
overlooking the water
in the Pacific Palisades.
-What? Shit!
-We never really
went over there.
I heard about it as a kid,
my parents always said
it was a strange house.
Weird energy. I guess he bought
this spot when he was younger
and never decided to sell.
-Holy shit, guys!
Check out these pictures!
This thing is massive.
I just don't trust it, man.
Alien cover ups, UFOs,
Nephilim conspiracies.
This is-- a massive mansion
doesn't just fall
in our laps, dudes.
Bro, not like we have
a better option.
-Yeah, man.
-[deeply inhales] Right.
Let's do it!
Thank you, California Jesus!
That is so righteous
[echoing] You're welcome, bros.
[heavenly music]
Alright, boys. It's time
to start a new chapter.
-Let's do this.
[rock music]
Here we are.
Casa del babe.
Dudes, we have arrived!
Woah, this is
a super slayer lair, bros.
Do you guys think this place has
a fully operational
steam shower?
No. Definitely not, you idiot.
Maybe a bidet, though.
[scoffs] Dumbass.
It's like that house
in a BILLIONAIRE club magazine.
Am I-- am I right?
[rock music continues]
[gasps and laughs] Oh, my God!
[birds chirping]
[eerie music]
[sighs] We're in heaven, dude.
Damn right!
[rock music]
Welcome to paradise, boys.
Now, the staircase is oak,
but the fireplace
looks like mahogany.
It's all good construction.
I'll tell you one thing,
this place has a ton
of hardwood, boys.
Yeah, speaking of hardwood,
I got one right now.
Look at this.
Is this embroidery right here?
I cannot believe
how fantastic this place is.
[knocking on door]
What was that?
[birds chirping]
[light mysterious music]
-Who the hell could that be?
Dude, Taylor, don't answer it.
Dang it! I knew it was
too good to be true.
[knocking harder]
-Hi. Hey, fellas!
-Can I help you?
I'm Al, Al Patron.
I live around here.
-It's my neighborhood,
so to speak.
-[Taylor] Awesome.
-Just saw this car
parked in front
of this empty house.
I was wondering, uh,
are you the new owners?
-'Cause if you are, I wanna
welcome you to my neighborhood.
-Oh, well,
that's oddly nice of you.
Yeah, I'm Taylor.
That's Shawn and Radman.
Wait, so you're telling us
your first name is Al,
like Al Pacino,
and your last name
just happens to be the same
-as the greatest tequila
we never had?
-Sick! Cool!
-That's pretty cool.
Yeah. What about you, "Rad man"?
-That's rad, man!
-[Radman] Oh!
That is awesome!
-He's hilarious.
-You guys look like surfers.
If that's true--
I mean, are you guys surfers?
'Cause that would be
a crazy coincidence,
-'cause I'm a surfer, too.
-No way, man,
-you're a total barney.
Look at you know.
-No, I'm dead serious.
-[Radman] He's cool.
You've got a good eye, kid.
This is from Barneys.
But I like nice things.
I can afford them,
I'm not ashamed of them.
You know, you can be successful
and surf these days,
like my friend Kelly Slater.
-You know who Kelly Slater is?
-Th-- Yeah!
-The GOAT. The GOAT. Yeah.
-"The greatest of all time,"
Kelly Slater!
-He's a friend of mine.
-Oh, my gosh. Really?
-We're bros. Yeah,
we go way back.
I almost sold him a house
in this neighborhood.
-[Radman] Oh!
-But you guys know,
highest Richter scale.
-But, uh, yeah, we go way back.
That is righteous, man.
-Think he would
hang out with us? No.
Like, when I first saw
his suit, I was like,
"This guy is some kind
of mafioso,
like, under thing."
But I still kind of do.
But, dude, that is the m--
why don't you come surf
with us tomorrow, bro?
-[laughs] Yes!
I would--
I would like to do that.
Listen, uh--
-I don't wanna spook you guys.
I don't know if you know this...
...but some pretty horrible
tragedies took place
in this very house.
It was a long time ago, but,
uh... [deeply inhales] yeah.
The old Hollywood Massacre.
-What? Are you serious?
-Hollywood Massacre?
I'm dead serious. It's bad news.
-But the good news is,
I'm a licensed realtor.
-Oh, thank God.
-I can help you get out
of this haunted death trap...
-[Radman sighing] Oh!
-...and into a nice
new four bedroom mansion.
-[Radman] Thank you.
-Right on the beach.
-[Radman shouts] Yes! Yes!
What a blessing.
On the beach, even?
Thank you, man. Wow!
-What a coincidence that you
would be here. Oh, my gosh!
-Are y-- are you--
Are you a realtor or some,
like, con man, dude?
What? No, I'm your f-- neighbor.
I wanna be friends,
I wanna try to help you guys.
We're surfers, right?
-Yeah. Yeah.
-I mean, we look out
for each other. We--
I'm not some random guy
who drove by and saw your car
-and tried to sell your house.
-[chuckling] What?
-Oh, then what's
your address, bro?
-Look, I gotta go
to this twelve o'clock meeting,
I'm kind of late, so I gotta go.
It's great meeting you guys,
but just think...
-He's legit, bro,
-...about what I said, okay?
Think about what I said.
I wanna work with you guys.
You think Kelly
would hang out with us?
If you're with me.
Awes-- [sharply inhales]
-[ominous white noise]
[sharply inhales]
[birds chirping]
Close the door, Radman.
-Close the door.
[suspenseful music]
-This is an epic home
for our shred space.
Shred shit.
Oh, my God. Look!
Old screwdrivers. [chuckles]
Dude, look at all this porn,
it's surf porn.
-Terry Fitzgerald,
Rabbit Kekai...
-1970s? Oh, my God!
-...they're legit, man.
-Watch your fricking hands
there, dude.
These are like gold,
man, you better wash
and dry those things
-before you touch these babies.
-I just want to borrow
a couple of them, dude.
-Collector's items, dude.
-I don't care
about the stupid magazines.
[calm music]
Yo, Taylor,
come check this out, man.
-What is it? Oh.
-Some super old film reels.
They're legit?
-Yeah, they look legit.
-Oh! Check it.
Old projector!
Fricking nice, dudes!
Great score. You guys are...
-...killing it.
Yo, Radman,
what are you doing with those?
You know, collectio--
his-- history--
there's c--
surf collections we--
-[shouts] Let me sell it!
-[Taylor] Yo!
[whispers] This is sick.
Hey, Shawn, can you get
the number for the pizza, dude?
-Why can't you do it?
-[sighs] You're privy
to my schedule.
You and I both know
I don't have time for that.
Fine. But I'm picking
the toppings, dude.
The Radman cometh with beer.
-Ugh! What the hell are those?
-[laughs] Hefeweizen, bro.
Germany's finest, man.
Cost 41 bucks for a six pack.
I figured, look,
if we're living like kings,
might as well be drinking
like Bavarian kings!
[gasping] Decent. Oh, crap.
Well, don't just stare at it,
scrub it, you cooch!
[chuckling] Alright.
The Radman cometh with aid.
Hey, dudes, I got an idea.
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
We should watch those old movies
we found in the shed.
Mm, is that
what you were thinking?
Sh-- Yeah.
Shoot, let's do it.
[softly] Okay.
Wow, look at this thing!
Super prehistoric, huh?
-Take that mirror down
and plug this in there.
-Got you.
[soft whirring]
[gentle music]
-Whoa, who's the foxy blonde?
Damn, she's gorgeous!
The movie reel says it's
from 1931. Crazy to think
-that she's probably just
full Skeletor by now. [chuckles]
"By the power of Grayskull."
I would totally give her
a piece of the Radman.
Yeah, I'm sure you would.
Too bad she's probably
been dead for 80 years.
-On second thought,
isn't that usually
how you prefer
your ladies, Radman?
-No. Just your mom.
How old is she now, man?
[suspenseful music]
Great, we pulled a fuse.
It was a cold, dark,
wet, and rainy night.
You couldn't hear a cry
for ten miles in each
and every direction.
She pulls a large butcher knife,
then starts slashing
and gashing the bros!
It was one of the most horrific
and horrid slayings of our--
[Radman shouts]
Stop it! Please,
stop it! Please--
it's not funny, Taylor!
I'm just messing with you.
Seriously, what just happened?
This place has
some funky electrical issues.
You know what? We should go
explore our new hood.
Let's get out
of this house for a bit,
you scared little barneys!
This is our new spot, man.
[indistinct chatter]
[club music]
[thunder rumbling]
Sick! Dmtina is playing here
tomorrow night.
And I heard that chick is hot!
-[indistinct chatter]
Yeah, but that one time,
dude, there was a wave,
it was like ten foot tall,
you guys were going
through the barrel,
I came over the top and wiped!
-Boys, boys,
down the hatch, let's go.
-Cheers, man.
We're all getting drained.
-Dude. Dude!
-I can feel it. Especially me.
-Remember that--
-[both laughing]
-[Shawn] Guys, enough,
-down the hatch, let's do this.
-Alright. Let's score
-four drinks. epic!
-[Radman] Epic!
Here we go. Salud!
-Hi, I'm Radman.
How are you doing?
-Chug! Chug!
-Go! Time to go!
[bell dinging]
-[indistinct shouting]
[crickets chirping]
I drank so much,
I'm hallucinating.
[eerie music]
I feel gross.
Like I've been
at a rave or camping.
It's a--
pretty sure one of those girls
gave me gingivitis.
I'm gonna, uh--
-I'm gonna go.
[ominous music]
[music intensifies]
[muffled jazz music]
[jazz music]
Gray skies
Blue eyes
A place in my heart
from the stars
Fun times
Ocean vibes
This is a place in my heart
And we can dance all night
And we can lust and fly
[record jams]
[eerie music]
-...always love you
-Till the end of time
You know it's right
So hold my love so near
[muffled shouts]
[ominous white noise]
-Follow me
My dream
-[record plays in distance]
Gray skies
Blue eyes
[ominous white noise]
A place in my heart
-[ominous white noise]
[shouts in slow motion] Guys!
[Radman shouting normally]
Guys. [panting]
-[Shawn mumbling]
You know the girl
from the movie?
I've just seen her, but dead.
Like a force fiel--
it was, like, pushed me
underwater, bros.
-It was crazy.
-Yeah, dude. That's just
the depressants in your system
creating hallucinations
or something, bro.
No. I'm very fond of-- I--
I know that feeling, bro.
That is not it!
I'm scared.
[dramatic music]
Taylor, can I sleep
in your floor?
No way, man, you started
a fire in my closet last time.
Bro, I said I would never
do that again, bro.
I'm-- please, man.
Let me sleep in your floor, bro!
Okay, I'm gonna haunt--
I'm gonna haunt you then, bro.
That's what I'm gonna do.
And you know what?
I'm gonna whisper
creepy stuff in your ear.
And I'm gonna flick
the lights on...
[imitates clicking]
...all the time, bro. Whoo!
Hey, you already do that.
But dead, bro!
Gosh, darn modern
technology, huh?
-I'm not a fan of this.
Nobody believes the Radman.
They don't, don't
don't believe, Radman
They don't, don't
don't believe, Radman
They don't, don't
don't believe
[upbeat music]
Pigmy goats,
help me in this troubled time.
[goats bleating]
Oh, no, did you--
And when it rains,
it pours. [sighs]
[eerie music]
[goats bleating]
[music intensifies]
What's this, darling?
[bleating continues]
[soft splashing]
[ethereal music]
[ominous music]
[echoing whispering]
Help me...
[echoing whispering]
Find me...
[echoing growling]
[echoing screaming]
[suspenseful music]
'Sup, Taylor?
What the hell happened, dude?
Dude, you try to kill yourself?
What does that even mean, dude?
You're taking this
way too far, man.
-[gasps] Holy-gas-a-moly, bro!
-Look at this guy.
-We gotta take him
to the hospital, man.
-Yeah, what?
So we can get another $3000 bill
in the mail next month?
I don't think so, bro.
-Give me that sandwich. Radman!
-I just think we shoul--
-That's my morning sandwich.
-I'm taking--
-Radman! Dude...
-Okay, take--
-...I suggest
you fork over the sandwich
if you don't wanna look
like Taylor, dude.
How is the sandwich
gonna help a cut, bro?
I saw this ghostly chick
appear in the mirror behind me.
She was gnarly white, but hot.
She was kind of seductive,
so I-- I figured
that she wanted me, but...
[gasps] then it got real fast.
I-- I was in some kind
of crazy trance.
I was paralyzed. I--
I tried to yell but couldn't,
she was in total control.
Which I, I know
I might like in a chick,
but this was not
the ideal situation, bro.
[Radman sighs]
Okay, this is exactly
what I was talking about.
You guys never listen
to the Radman!
This chick is in that...
[stutters] the necklaces,
or something!
And if we don't act soon,
I feel like we're gonna be
adios, mofos, man.
I'm serious! [yells]
You guys, seriously,
you know, chill, dude.
-She's real. I'm getting
another sandwich--
-You okay, man?
Dude, seriously,
you guys really think
there's a ghost here?
Let's hold a sance,
let's hold a sance.
Why would we hold a sance,
bro? He's alive.
Dude, a sance,
not a vigil, you idiot.
-To summon spirits.
-Okay. Alright.
You good? Can you stand up?
["Empty Bones" by The Growlers]
Read this in a interior
decorating magazine,
so this should be dead on, man.
What we're gonna do is
just kind of put our hands
on our knees
and just suck air in.
-Dude, you trying
to burn the house down?
-Sorry, bro.
And when you breathe out,
really push all the, like,
negativity and, like,
you know, the day's,
the day's grind--
Ooh, I burned my finger!
Dang it, I'm doing it again.
Perfect. Just get that burn
over the fricking thing!
-There we go.
-Dude, settle it out.
Sorry, bro. Sorry, man.
Alright. No worries. No worries.
Um, and I've got everything lit.
So, um, I just wanna
breathe some air in
and exhale all of the bad stuff.
And maybe if we do that, it'll
invite her into this house, man.
I really wanna save this chick.
Thought she was already
in the house. I mean--
Join me, guys.
Get some "Oms" in there, okay?
[all chanting]
Excellent job, Taylor.
Keep it up.
[deeply inhales]
[all chanting]
[deeply inhales]
Where is the hot babe, dudes?
I don't know, man.
What if we, uh,
you guys wanna watch that video
and try to see if there's
something we missed.
Maybe there's something
we didn't see before.
-It's your call, man.
This is your guys' gig.
I met you...
Let's do it. Come on.
We'll watch the video. Come on!
But I forgot to ask
your name
Name, name
[soft whirring]
I kept you in my dreams
I kept you in my dreams
But it only seems
To feed the flame
Flame, flame
Oh, fill my empty bones
For I was a heavy stone
Fill my, fill my
Keep that in the back
of our minds, though,
'cause it's something.
Necklace is the key!
Guys, I seen one,
I saw-- I saw one--
I saw one in the tub!
I heard it!
What are you
talking about, dude?
-This is so bizarre,
dude, this is crazy.
There's something to it,
man. Necklace.
Neck-lace. Necklace.
Lace-neck. Lace-neck!
Dude, there's something here,
man, I can feel it!
Some kind of weird energy
in this house, bro!
This is beyond haunted.
What if she's trying
to send us a message?
From the grave.
[loud click]
[suspenseful music]
Check the room!
[loud squeak]
[softly] Wha-- Obviously,
what's been happening to us
is pretty insane.
What's this chick's name,
Thelma Todd.
It was printed
all over those film reel cases.
Thelma Todd? Let me look her up.
See? [whispers] Dead.
[music increases]
[soft whirring]
Oh, you guys are getting
really good at this. [chuckles]
Damn, this is
way out of our league.
We're gonna need someone
who knows how to talk
to spirits.
-Radman, see if there's
a psychic in the area.
Thelma, guys. Huh,
even got an address.
Radman to the rescue, huh?
[rock music]
Hey, guys, over here.
Come, come.
I've been expecting you.
My name is Bella
and I have a box
that has been waiting
for just the right time.
Never been
with a physics before, but--
I think there's been
some misunderstanding.
This is not
that kind of establishment.
[soft rattling]
Boys, there's much more
to this box than meets the eye.
This box once held
a very special necklace.
This is what you're looking for.
[mysterious chiming]
The lions.
Look closer.
-[softly] Oh!
-I can see her.
I can see everything.
She's running
to the woods. There's--
There's a rock, there's--
The rock!
Th-- the necklace
is in the rock.
After you find the necklace,
you will need
to perform a ceremony
to reach Thelma
on the other side.
I have written everything down
for you here.
It's called the lions.
So what, boys? I mean,
it doesn't mean anything.
I mean, do you really think
there's a ghost in the house
-trying to kill us?
Radman, you fell asleep
in the tub.
Taylor, you cut yourself shaving
when you were staring
at yourself.
-Bro, you wish! What about
the blood on the mirror?
You're just messing with me,
bro, I'm not buying that.
Well, don't think so highly
of yourself, alright?
We have to find that necklace.
[Radman grunts]
The waves are calling.
Whoa! The waves
are going off right now, bro.
Change... [stutters]
change of plans.
Let's go grab our boards
and crush this break!
For sure!
[Radman imitating guitar]
Guess what? I'm gonna call Al.
He's going surfing with us. Yep!
["Devil's Lips"
by Dmtina and the Bumps]
Kiss me
with your devil's hand
'Cause you're mine
mine, mine
'Sup ladies?
Back jumping
for another epic sesh!
You know?
You are the perfect disaster
The nightmare...
Hey, uh, I don't know
if you know this,
I pretty much own
this beach, I'm Radman.
Mucho gusto.
-Yeah, it's surfing. It's life.
Roger that.
Learn to surf!
To break your spell
[both screaming]
Uh, it was gone!
What's up, man?
Pardon me, I just had
to rearrange some things,
but, uh, I'm glad I could make
this happen for you guys.
-Surfing, bro.
-Surfing's the source.
We gotta have ocean conservation
and remove plastic
from the environment.
I've been saying this all along.
[chuckling] Oh!
Oh, my-- John?
I love surfing, Radman,
there's nothing like it.
Dude, exactly!
Now, you look ridiculous,
but, dude, it don't matter!
'Cause that's what it's about,
you gotta keep it up, bro.
Oh, my God.
We are the biggest fans.
We've seen North Shore
like a million times.
It's on constant rotation
at our house.
-Best movie ever!
-Dude, for real, dude.
Too bad this guy doesn't know
a thing about big wave riding.
-Please drop some knowledge.
-Oh, whatever! This guy
gets crispy waves
and eats it all the time!
He's the one that needs
some knowledge.
-You guys want me
to say anything?
-No, dude, please get a line in,
-dude, please drop
a line from North Shore.
From North Shore?
From North Shore,
like, as Turtle,
when he's talking
to Rick Kane? Yeah? Yeah?
"If we don't get
new wetsuits this winter,
we're all going to be cold!"
Uh, this guy's weird.
-Vaya con Dios!
-[Shawn] Let's get out of here.
How was it out there, dudes?
Pretty crowded in that
fricking party wave, huh?
Started off pretty sick,
but too many spongers
-are stealing waves
right now, bro. Yeah.
Bro, you won't believe
who we just met.
-The man, John Philbin!
-Dude, epic!
-He paddled up right next to us!
-It was sick, unreal.
Turtle? Bitching!
You know that guy?
We're bros. We go way back, man.
And you think you're the man,
then the man shows up.
-Uh, it's Philbin, bro.
John Philman!
Uh, let's go kick it
at the shack.
-Is it Philman?
-I'm coming!
The bank
does not service the loan.
The bank that created
the product
gives the service fee
to my company,
which services the loan
and we only charge 1%.
[birds chirping]
That's nothing.
-[Al] Alright. Listen,
I gotta make this business call,
but I wanna try
to help you guys understand
what a great deal this is, okay?
I'm not gonna
just leave you in suspense.
Yeah, I wouldn't worry
about that one, bro.
And if you put a bedroom
in the kitchen,
it's a four bedroom.
I'm in. They're idiots.
I hate surfers.
I'm gonna take them out tonight.
I'll make them disappear.
[ominous music]
Dude, what's taking
this cooch so long?
Trying to jack
some boards or something?
[Shawn shouts]
Holy crap!
Radman, Taylor, get in here now!
-Oh, what the hell happened?
Oh, look at his neck!
Yeah, look at his head!
I mean that's, uh,
that's a fin
stuck in there, right?
[Shawn] Dude, I thought you were
the only one who cut deep
like that, bro.
Uh, we gotta help this guy.
Let's get him down.
[eerie music]
-[Radman] Uh,
can we make him comfortable,
at least?
Can we put
his head back or something?
Oh, dude, he's pretty done, bro.
We're out. [sobs]
-Al don't surf.
-Al don't surf.
[suspenseful music]
[birds chirping]
Okay, so that just happened
and here we are and we're
the only three people here.
And you know
how this looks, right?
Well, we already know
that she has a thing for necks!
Shoots, guys, this is getting
serious. We're in real danger.
No more messing around.
We have to find out
what she wants.
And fast!
["Ghost Babe House"
by Phil Higgins]
Mm, yeah
Oh, the Ghost Babe house
Oh, yeah, yeah
-Oh, oh, oh yeah, yeah
-Yeah, come on, babe
-Oh, uh-oh
-Oh, oh, oh
Let's go, let's go
come on, bro
High Escaline
ride it real slow
-Real slow
-Look out, look out
we're coming
Till we be your friends
'cause we about to run you out
-Big seams, real flashy
got them diamonds out
-You see this rock
around my neck
Just watch it drip down
let's go, let's go
-Come on, bro
-Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
Look out, look out
we got the keys
to the Ghost Babe house
Come party with us
let you bring your friends now
Let's go, I'm looking
for the hot date
-I'm trying to find
a new thing, yeah
-Oh, yeah
[suspenseful music]
Oh, it's crazy that
it's called Los Leones trail.
Why do you think it's
called that? Do you think it has
something to do with all this?
Well, legend has it that, uh,
people here heard the sound
of lions on this trail,
but I didn't know where it was.
I certainly didn't think
it could be true.
What is tha-- Man up, Radman!
We're gonna tackle this trail.
And we're gonna
find this necklace!
[eerie music]
[suspenseful music]
[soft rustling]
Man, the woods sucks, man!
-[sighs] It's useless.
You guys, Thelma's life matters.
-There's gotta be
something more to this.
-[Radman spitting]
I mean, we were brought here
tonight for a reason, right?
-[Radman sniffling]
-We were brought here
tonight to save a babe.
Not just any babe either,
the Ghost Babe.
Ice Cream Blonde starlet,
Thelma Todd.
She killed it
in over a 100 films
and ran Hollywood
like no one's business.
She was way too hot to go, bros,
and way too young
to have her light taken out.
Let's bring her back,
let's save this babe.
Let's party like it's 1935.
-[softly chuckles]
Let's do this.
-[eerie chime]
What the hell! [shouting]
What the hell? We're trying
to help this chick! [yelling]
Not cool, bro. Not cool.
-[screaming continues]
-Not cool, bros. Not cool.
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
[sniffs] Something's weird here.
-[groans] Oh!
-[ominous white noise]
-What's wrong, dude?
Is it your diabetes?
This is where Thelma ran.
She showed me this
when he shoved me
under the water in the tub!
This is it, this is the place!
This is the path, man!
-Bro, what are you
talking about?
-[softly] This is the path.
-What the f--
[mysterious music]
The rock!
-I found the rock!
It's time to save this babe!
This is really
the one too, right?
Of course, this is it!
-[all] Whoa.
[jazz music]
[inaudible conversation]
Gray skies
Blue eyes
A place in my heart
from the stars
Fun times
Come in. Come in!
Come in. Please, sit down.
...a place in my heart
We can dance
all night, we can...
My dear, you must listen
to me very carefully.
There is a dark storm
And your life
is in grave danger.
[suspenseful music]
Your life will be taken
tomorrow night.
This necklace is a necessity
to your future.
I'm sorry. Um, this is just
a bit hard for me to believe.
No offense, of course.
It is quite beautiful
and I've never seen
anything like it.
But I'm not gonna fall for it.
I know what I'm asking.
But please, trust me!
Both of our journeys
will be affected
by what is going
to happen to you!
She's just trying
to get us to buy it, Botan.
Please, take this necklace.
-Wear it!
-I came to have fun.
Not to listen
to this dreadful tale.
[calm music]
Uh, Radman,
what's with all the food?
Where does it say anywhere
that snacks are part of this?
Bro, you never walk
into a party empty-handed.
And when Thelma arrives,
I just wanna show
some hospitality, you know,
-keep it classy, man.
-W-- with cheesy snackums
and gas station wine?
I'm not so sure this setup
screams class, you greasy fart.
[scoffs] Bro!
I didn't see you guys
putting any kind of effort in.
Cheese Yum Yums is delicious,
just like the commercial says.
"They're delicious.
And now with 35% less cankles."
Yeah. All class
all the time, bud.
Just focus, please.
[deeply inhales] Om!
The letter reads, "Unveil
your spirit so you can be free.
We bring to you the necklace
that will reunite you
to your human form
to finish your destiny."
[whispers] Finish your destiny.
Alright, guys, listen.
Uh, we gotta hold hands
'cause we gotta complete
the circuit here.
-When she comes here, man,
it-- we have to create
a circle of trust.
Please, hands!
-Come on, dude.
-[deeply inhales]
[all chanting]
Lower, from the feet,
guys, from the feet.
Bring it all the way up.
[all chanting]
[deeply inhales] In your nose.
[all chanting]
A little deeper,
Taylor, no offense.
-[deeply inhales]
-[all chanting] Om!
[all chanting]
[all chanting]
[all chanting]
[all chanting]
[all chanting]
[all chanting]
What? That's it?
What's up with that? She just
takes the necklace and leaves?
Well, I guess it, uh, worked?
Okay, so she took the necklace,
but she's not here.
So that leaves us alone...
...with some fantastic Yum Yums!
[sighing] Oh, my God, dude,
enough with the snacks!
Have you tried them?
Have you tried them?
-They're the worst, man.
-[Taylor] Okay, okay.
W-- we did everything
we're supposed to do.
Should we go back to the psychic
an-- and at least
tell her what happened?
Well, hello boys.
I'm Thelma Todd.
-[Radman mumbles]
-It is so nice to meet you.
I've been watching.
And waiting. [chuckles]
I thought I was gonna be
stuck in this house
for an eternity.
[upbeat music]
What is that?
H-- Hello, Ms. Todd.
[Taylor laughing]
Woah! Woah!
Welcome back!
Okay, so, what's
the full story? What happened?
No offense, boys, but I've
been stuck in this house
since 1930-something.
-[laughs] And I would die...
...for a Cadillac Margarita
and a taco.
Of course. Let's get out of here
-and where do you want to go?
-[Thelma] Anywhere.
Look, uh, Dmtina is playing
at the bar tonight.
["Not That Evil"
by Dmtina and the Bumps]
It's late and I want
And I get what I want
Bring to me
Your heart on a string
What do you want, sweetheart?
Sweetheart? [chuckles]
Nobody has called me that
in a long time.
Cadillac Margarita on the rocks.
Could you make it a double?
-You got it.
So Thelma, this is our new spot.
It sure must be a shock
to the senses, huh?
Yo, Thelma, check it out,
these are my boys.
I'm gonna go shred
a tasty lick for you!
What's a tasty lick?
It's you that I need
Oh, thank you so much.
...that I feel
Lost at the start
And I will go
Where you won't go
Come with me
Be my enemy
All you need to know
is I'm not that evil
You can lose control
if you got no evil
[cheering and clapping]
-[woman] Oh!
[man shouting]
Thank you everyone.
If you liked that, you're gonna
drop dead over in this one.
That was so hot!
-I think you're really cute.
Oh, really?
Well, that's okay
I ain't much better
Botan! How could you do that?
Botan? I'm Shawn.
[sighs] You couldn't wait
for the one that you
really loved?
Woah, Thelma, you're tripping.
Before you do anything else,
I think you need
to know. I'm Shawn.
But you have his eyes!
If you want to...
Bro, where's Thelma going?
[groans] I knew you'd screw
this up, she was so cool!
-I was just doing my thing, bro.
Does anybody else notice
the dead chick?
Bro, enough
with the snacks, Radman!
I don't think anyone notices.
I'm kind of vibing
on that little brunette
at the bar now, though.
Oh, dude, she's stupid hot.
So, yeah, okay. Just wanted to--
Cool, cool, cool.
Cool, cool, cool.
-[Shawn] Okay, guys.
...see somebody
cheat Jack Jingle!
It's his word, you know, like,
freaking blew me away, man.
Also, a girl got decapitated.
-[woman] Aw!
-[Radman] Goo-- goodnight guys.
-Is this your room?
-It's right there, babe.
-Yeah? Nice.
[eerie music]
[rock music]
[muffled thud]
[gentle music]
[deeply sighs]
[softly chuckles]
[eerie music]
[panting] Hey.
Oh, gnarly!
[gasping] Wha--
What's wrong, Shawn?
You said you wanted her slayed.
Those were your words, not mine.
Slayed, not slaughtered, Thelma.
I'm starved.
Come on!
[rock music]
Come on.
Damn, that's cold!
I'm cheese-fighting, bro.
-[Taylor] Get off my belly!
-Freaking cheese fighting,
bro. You...
-[Taylor] Bro, y-- can't do the same move
over and over, bro!
-You're my slave--
-Bro, stop moving the thing,
-move over and over, man.
Oh, watch this...
-Front two smash. we go,
watch this. [laughs]
-I hate your beard.
-I-- fight-- stop it, man!
-I own you.
That's actu--
that is actual cheating, bro.
Get back.
[ominous music]
Don't ask.
Oh, and, uh, Thelma's hungry.
So, you might not wanna
piss her off again.
W-- what do you mean,
"Don't ask--"
Ah! Oh, okay.
Let's blow this fart box
and go get some grubs.
Dude, Thelma needs a for real's
change of scenery, bro.
-Stop. Stop it, man.
-Respect the foot,
respect the foot.
Thelma! Wanna go have some fun?
["Bali Bandidos" by The Hydrant]
There's a biker in the town
He's known
as the lord of the bike
Riding in the island
of the God
With hundred guys
Fly with the wind
break the dark night
Scared the devil, ha, ha, ha
Kick some ass
with the whiskey on the rock
Bali Bandidos, Bali Bandidos
Run angles never, look back
Bali Bandidos, Bali Bandidos
Lord, riding, Lord
Young blond long haired lady
Hangs around in the bar
Waiting for the guy
to pick her up
She don't wanna be
in the car
Fly with the wind
break the dark night
Scared the devil, ha, ha, ha
Let's kick some asses
with the whiskey on the rock
Bali Bandidos, Bali Bandidos
Run angles, never look back
Bali Bandidos, Bali Bandidos
Lord, riding, Lord
Lord, riding, Lord
Lord, riding, Lord
[indistinct chattering]
Bella! Guys!
She's gonna trip out, man!
We gotta go see her!
[birds chirping]
But this is where it all began.
I'm not going in.
[gentle rock music]
[crickets chirping]
Thelma, if--
if it's not too much to ask,
will you please
tell us your story?
Are you sure you wanna hear it?
[sighs] Well, there was
always more to my death
than anybody
was willing to explore.
The mob wanted to use
my restaurant as a front
for illegal activities.
Racketeering was
a big thing at the time.
The country was recovering
from Prohibition.
People wanted to be free.
Have a good time.
[fire crackling]
I understood that.
We sold alcohol
at the restaurant,
but when it was legal.
I didn't need the police
looking for reasons
to shut me down.
The mob was willing
to take that chance.
The local mob boss,
Lucky Luciano,
stepped up and...
...took me out.
The police found me in... car, the engine running...
...and the garage door closed.
Made it look like
I killed myself.
It's just unbelievable.
Money was being made
hand over fists.
I watched the police payoffs,
sh-- shady bookkeeping,
the rampant extortions.
All from the powerless perch
of this house.
I couldn't leave.
It was infuriating.
...I learned I could fight back.
-So-- ugh, so what about Al?
Al's grandfather was one
of the top Italian mob bosses
involved in the cover-ups.
"I'll just try
to get close to you guys
to keep you off the property.
-Mask the scent."
-[Radman grunts]
I sniffed that guy out,
day one, man!
Like, there's this freaking,
gnarly energy out of this dude,
and I was like-- I mean,
I thought it was
kind of harsh to,
like, hang him
in the surf shed, but--
but now that I know what he did,
like, it's, like...'s like...'s justified, bro.
I'm not proud of these actions.
They were necessary.
In this moment,
I'm choosing my human form.
[mysterious chiming]
In this moment... [chuckles]
...I'm free.
[ethereal whooshing]
-Beat it, punks!
-You don't deserve this.
I'm gonna put you back
where you belong.
Finish him off, Thelma,
take your life back!
[flesh slashing]
[exhales sharply]
[joyful music]
[soft clinking]
Adios, Al!
That is one hot shot of Patron.
That dude is not dead,
man, he's...
...he's crispified.
I think I speak
for everyone here tonight
when I say that
you did not deserve this.
I mean, you're such a beautiful
and talented woman and...
...the world turned
its back on you.
You're not alone
anymore, Thelma.
Why don't I show you the cherry
on top of this bloody sundae?
[upbeat music]
There is some light that can
be shed from the darkness.
Oh, yeah? How's that possible?
-[Thelma laughs]
Well, I stood here silenced...
...for years.
I watched
as they used my restaurant
and manipulated the system
for their own gain.
Lucky for us, paranoid of banks,
they kept the vast majority
of their wealth...
Dang, man.
That money is cash?
I can get my tooth fixed.
Stano miedoso, bros.
So, uh, what kind of wealth
are we talking about here?
I've been broke, dudes.
I didn't want to admit it,
but the other day,
at Super Saver,
I stole some trail mix.
And, uh, an hour later, man,
some dude walked up
out of nowhere
and punched me
right in the face.
I'm like, karma.
Radman, you were fully
schwelping that guy's wife.
He was following you all day.
-Believe me,
that blow to the face...
...had nothing to do
with trail mix.
Are you serious, dude?
Oh, my gosh! I didn't
even know she was married!
[sighing] Oh!
It kind of makes sense now.
This is it. Stand back, boys.
Let this crazy blonde
have some fun.
-Holy golden light!
-[Thelma chuckles]
How much is there?
About a million or so.
A million dollars won't stretch
quite as far
as we think these days.
-We have to be, like,
Bill Ackman smart.
No, no, dude.
She said there was over
a million dollars in gold here.
That was in the '30s!
That means there's, like,
45.7 million dollars, dude!
-45-- I can get my tooth fixed!
I-- we can get
all the tooths fixed!
Oh, my God!
...real! It's real. It's real!
It's real! Look! [laughing]
Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh!
[screaming] It is real!
-[Radman] It is real!
-[indistinct shouting]
[mystical chiming]
["F.A.G." by Goons Of Doom]
-[engine rumbling]
-[horn honking]
[engine revving]
-[Taylor laughing]
-Wow. That's incredible.
Check it out, dudes!
You said, "Do not spend
all your money in one place."
But I saw this bitching whip
and I could not
help myself, man.
Look! I just had to get it, man.
-Look at the license plates!
-Oh, man, he scored.
Now we'll-- [mumbles]
so I had it named after Thelma.
How freaking cool is this?
-[Taylor] Nice ride, buddy!
How can we ever
thank you, Thelma?
All of your pain and anguish
created a life that...
...we could only dream of.
I just wanna make sure you're
getting everything as well
and you're happy.
where did you get this?
Uh, this was left to me
by my great-grandfather.
I never met him. He died
the day before I was born.
I always knew there was
more to life than surfing,
bronzing on the beach,
and smashing guzzlers.
-I did not.
Guys, I think we were meant
to go through all this
to understand what we're
meant to do for this world.
There's a lot of trapped souls.
We've been blessed.
We need to save
what frees our souls.
We need to save the oceans,
my brothers.
I cut a check for 40 million
to have it cleaned this morning.
-Hope that's cool.
-And got a boat,
had it christened, look at this!
-Oh, my God! Rad!
-Look at that!
-That's rad, dude!
Yeah, man.
We're gonna sail
the seven seas, bros.
-For reals. Till we're
100 years old man.
-Let's do it, man.
-Bro, I'm so proud of you.
-Thanks, man.
You break my, my back
And I cannot get it started
Believe it, brokenhearted
I am still in love...
Is there seven or eight seas?
[birds chirping]
It kind of feels
like there's just one sea,
-but the land is within it.
-Bro-- love with you
I'm still in love with you
I'm still in love
Sometimes small things
Feel like big things
["Ghost Babe Theme Song"
by Dmtina and the Bumps]
You look like death, girl
That's okay
I ain't much better
Dressed up
in a Jacob sweater
You don't like sunshine
with your pale complexion
A zombie
with a tough reflection
If you want
to love me, Ghost Babe
I'll go to hell
and back with you again
If you want
to love me, Ghost Babe
I'll give you all my soul
and all my sin
You bite my neck, girl
For every time
I need affection
Trade the blood
of your possession
You show me culture
Oh, Susie Sue
in leather fashion
Now I look
like Marilyn Manson
If you want
to love me, Ghost Babe
I'll go to hell
and back with you again
If you want
to love me, Ghost Babe
I'll give you all my soul
and all my sin
If you want
to love me, Ghost Babe
I'll go to hell
and back with you again
If you want
to love me, Ghost Babe
I'll give you all my soul
and all my sin
[soft buzzing]
[jazz music]
["Not That Evil"
by Dmtina and the Bumps]
It's late and I want
And I get what I want
Bring to me
Your heart on a string
And I will go
Where you won't go
Come with me
Be my fantasy
All you need to know
is I'm not that evil
You can lose control
if you've got no evil
It's you that I need
You that I feel
Leave my heart
I lost at the start
And I will go
Where you won't go
Come with me
Be my enemy
All you need to know
is I'm not that evil
You can lose control
if you've got no evil
And all you need to know
is I'm not that evil
You can lose control
if you've got no evil
[music ends]