Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021) Movie Script
2
Ew, Mom, I'm trying
to eat breakfast.
Almost done.
Aw, your mustache
is really coming in.
Mom!
- Phoebe!
- Ow!
I'm bleeding!
You made me bleed!
You'll live. Phoebe!
Oh! What are you doing?
Neighbor's electricity
is running out of phase.
- I tied in, bumped us up to 220.
- Take that off.
Now I can run my lathe.
And you didn't think
to ask me?
I mean, you just demonstrate
zero aptitude for science.
- Uh-huh, got it.
- You're better at other things.
- Like quesadillas.
- My hair dryer.
- Your quesadillas are excellent.
- Thank you.
Now what?
Mom!
- Really? You don't have legs?
- I'm not an adult.
I'm literally driving
to pick up a check right now.
You win lottery?
Kind of. My father died.
Relax.
I didn't even know him.
I'm surprised
he left me anything.
- Sounds like my father.
- Yeah?
Did your dad
abandon your family
and move to a farm
in the middle of nowhere?
No.
Look, I...
I know I have not been
a reliable or consistent tenant.
But if you give me a week
to settle loose ends,
I'll be back
with everything I owe.
I can fix that!
Listen,
I wait for you to leave,
then I change locks.
There it is.
This is Summerville.
This is where
your grandfather lived.
And died.
Ah, come on.
Not a single bar?
There'd better be a bar.
That's funny.
"Behold,
"there was a great earthquake.
"The sun became
as black as cloth,
"the seas boiled,
"the moon became as blood,
"the skies fell.
Revelation 6:12."
That was normal.
Hey, maybe it's a good thing
you never met your dad.
Great. You didn't tell us
we inherited a murder house.
And just think.
Now all of this is ours.
Pheebs, be a dear and break
into your grandfather's house.
Nice.
Oh, boy.
Not a single photo.
Rats.
You gotta see the gold mine
of junk I found out back.
Great.
Oh, my God,
this is so much worse
than I thought it was gonna be.
Under the dining table now!
Phoebe.
Remember that summer
we died under a table?
Of course this place is built
on a fault line.
Probably just fracking.
It's fracking annoying,
is what it is.
It's okay,
we're only here for a week.
Um, give or take.
What does that mean?
It means we're staying.
You said we'd
only be here for a week!
Yeah, well, that was
before we got evicted.
You said
you had money saved up.
- That was before I had children.
- Oh!
To be fair, you've never
been good with money.
Thanks, Pheebs.
What's that?
How am I supposed to know?
Can I help you?
Um, hi. We're...
We're the, um... The...
This was my father's place.
Hi.
Hi.
I'm, uh, Janine Melnitz.
We spoke on the phone.
I was your father's...
You know, we were friends.
- Very sorry for your loss.
- It's okay.
You knew him better than me.
I should be sorry for your loss.
I just tried to keep
the bills paid on time,
- that kind of thing.
- Like a money manager?
Oh, there was
no money to manage.
He could barely keep
the power on.
So he left us nothing?
Well, I wouldn't say that.
There is quite a bit of debt.
Ms. Melnitz,
I'm here to sign forms,
pack the silverware
and leave with a rent check.
Are you telling me
this place is worthless?
You mean, aside from
the sentimental value?
Are you going
to that thing later?
- Yeah, probably.
- Where's my order?
I can't believe
a place like this still exists.
I can't believe we have
to spend a summer in this heap.
- We have lives.
- You don't think I have a life?
No. You're a mom.
You live for us.
I'll be right back.
Oh.
Hey. Maybe you will make
a friend out here.
- Make them out of what?
- I'm serious.
A new home could be
an opportunity to start fresh.
Just keep an open mind.
Two taters, three Spinners,
grilled onions, one no cheese.
Lucky, there's... There's
something wrong with the meat.
- I don't feel so good, Lucky. Oh!
- There's something wrong.
- He's throwing up the meat!
- Heh-heh-heh!
Cool place.
Yeah, I'll use that.
I don't own it.
I know you don't own it.
You look pretty young
to own a business.
I saw the sign out front.
"Help wanted"?
I... I can be helpful.
Under experience, you put
"friendly" with a smiley face?
I didn't really know
what to put.
I don't think "friendly"
qualifies as an experience.
It's a quality, I guess.
- How old are you?
- Seventeen.
Think you can put in
a good word for me?
I can tell them
you have a pulse.
My name's Trevor.
My name's Trevor.
- Dude, that was great.
- Dude, that was really cute.
You have a chance with her.
You really do.
Mmm.
So where you heading?
We're staying, actually.
You know that farmhouse
off the highway with the barn?
Dirt? It was my father's.
Dirt Farmer had a family?
You knew my father?
No one knew your father.
Well, I'm sure he'll be missed.
Nope.
Whoa!
What's up, Casanova?
Ow.
Damn it.
What?
Come on! Bus leaves in 15!
Hey, Pheebs, at school today,
don't be afraid
to just start a conversation.
Are you kidding?
That's horrible advice.
You're literally setting her up
for failure.
Hey, how are the jokes
coming along?
Why should you
never trust atoms?
Because they
make up everything.
- That's funny.
- No, it's not.
- You can drop me off here.
- Are you embarrassed?
Yeah. Bye.
Love you!
- That almost killed you.
- Yeah, with your face.
- What's wrong? You love school.
- I love learning.
This is a state-sponsored
work camp for delinquents.
Fine. You can help me scrape
asbestos out of the attic.
I'll take my chances
with public education.
Hey, don't be yourself.
- You okay?
- Ah, yeah. First day.
Can you imagine who they've got
teaching summer school?
I can. I teach here.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
No, it's okay. It's...
Most of the kids that go here,
they're not very bright.
Hey, Colin.
He's...
I can kind of do
whatever I want.
Score.
- Right?
- Mm.
- Dream job.
- Mm-hm.
Good morning, class.
How's everybody doing today?
My name's Mr. Grooberson.
Um...
I know.
You don't wanna be here.
I don't wanna be here either.
Now, apparently,
your, uh, school is
still operating on VHS,
but, um, I found this gem
in the teachers' lounge.
It's great. It's called Cujo.
It's about
a rabid Saint Bernard that...
You know what? I don't
wanna give too much away.
But imagine Beethoven
if he contracted rabies
and just started
mauling children.
You'll get an idea.
Enjoy.
Speeding. Three, two, one.
She sits alone.
An outcast,
rejected by her peers.
But what is her secret?
Perhaps she's on the run.
On the run...
from herself.
And go.
Actually,
my grandfather died.
My mom says we're here to pick
through the rubble of his life.
So you're here to uncover
the mystery of his death?
No.
It was natural causes.
Are you sure
it wasn't unnatural causes?
Yes.
Pretty sure
it was just a heart attack.
Oh, the silent killer.
I'm Phoebe.
Oh, cool. Uh, I'm Podcast.
Why do people call you Podcast?
Oh, I call myself Podcast.
Because of my podcast.
- Doing some painting?
- Mm, yeah.
Whereabouts you staying?
Um, that old apocalyptic ranch
off of 99.
It was my father's place.
Dirt Farmer had a family?
You all called him
the Dirt Farmer?
Meant nothing by it.
Man spends every week
working a piece of land...
but never seeding,
never watering,
never growing
a ding-dang thing.
It's curious behavior.
Great customer though.
He... He bought
some bizarre shit.
Yeah, that sounds like him.
What is this?
Hello.
Um, you know, there's
a highly entertaining movie
about a killer dog
happening right over there.
- Is this a seismic map?
- Yes.
- How did you know that?
- It's a map of seismic activity.
- Right. But...
- You're a seismologist?
Does that seem
so hard to believe?
Figured you
for a football coach.
Oh.
Um, thank you.
These don't look
tectonic or volcanic.
Okay, smarty.
Here, check this out.
This is a volcano, all right?
It builds and crests.
But this is
a tectonic earthquake.
Notice a little P-wave
followed by a large S wave.
Yeah, I'm not an idiot.
Clearly. Well, this is
the pattern in Summerville.
Large P-wave, small S wave.
Like an explosion.
- Where is it coming from?
- I don't know. I don't know.
I set up geophones,
but I can't triangulate.
- Are you using three?
- Yeah.
I know how many sides
there are in a triangle.
I just thought
you were being obtuse.
Was that a geometry joke?
- Yes, that's why I winked.
- Ah.
Uh, that's terrible.
No, I loved it.
Look at this.
I mean, somehow,
a town that isn't anywhere
near a tectonic plate,
that has no underground volcanic
activity, no fault lines,
no fracking,
no loud music even,
is shaking
on a daily basis.
Maybe it's the apocalypse.
Twenty-three, 24, 25.
Hey, no-skills. How's inventory?
Oh, hey, how's it going?
No, it's not good.
It's not good at all. Um...
- Does everyone do this?
- Yeah, it's important.
You okay?
Your lips are literally blue.
Yeah, I'm fine.
You should borrow my hoodie.
No, it's fine. Seriously.
It's really masculine.
It's got a wolf on it.
Trust me.
Okay.
I'm kind of surprised
it fits me.
Yeah, it's my boyfriend's,
actually.
- Oh.
- Back to inventory.
Okay, we're speeding.
Three, two, one.
Uh, yeah,
just introduce yourself
and tell me
what you ate for breakfast.
Um, Phoebe.
Toast.
Okay, um, maybe a little more.
Tell me a joke or something.
- A joke?
- Mm-hm.
What do you call
a dead polar bear?
Anything you want.
It can't hear you now.
Wow. That was funny.
- You're funny.
- It's a pretty hilarious joke.
Fun fact:
Did you know Summerville
has more dead residents
than living ones?
Yeah, that's
how cemeteries work.
Wertheimers Hardware,
run by the Illuminati.
- Lizard people.
- Lizard people?
Jefferson, Einstein, Beyonc?
How do you think
we got the pyramids?
- Slaves?
- Movie theater.
That one's haunted.
I don't believe in ghosts.
What? How can you...?
I mean, all the evidence!
You don't believe in spirits?
No.
I think we're all
just kind of meat puppets.
There's something
you need to see.
I'll grab my wheels.
Are we even allowed to be here?
Oh, yeah. Totally.
The mine's been closed
since the '40s.
They just put
all these signs up
'cause of
hazardous chemical leaks
and on account of dynamite.
I do this. Hmm.
The whole town was basically
a mining operation.
They bore out this mountain
like a grapefruit
and smelted everything into
cold-riveted selenium girders.
Why would you
make a steel beam
out of an electro conductor
like selenium?
Right?
Weird.
Until one day,
they were forced to close down
the whole enchilada.
Why?
One by one,
miners who had worked for years
began leaping down
the mine shaft to their death.
They called it...
the Shandorian curse.
Who built these?
Depends who you believe.
One day, they just showed up
without explanation.
Cool.
What a shitbox.
So, what's
your podcast about?
Oh, um, mostly mysteries
and the unknown,
uh, conspiracy theories,
the occasional
restaurant review.
Well, maybe I could
check it out sometime.
- Really?
- Yeah.
The show really finds
its voice on Episode 46.
Okay.
Uh, hey.
Look, this is totally cool
if this is a no.
Uh, zero "presh."
Uh, but, um...
do you wanna
be my lab partner?
Well, I don't think
we're gonna be doing any labs,
but yeah.
Yeah, sure, I'd love to.
Cool, cool. All right.
Yeah.
Well, this is me.
The Dirt Farmer's house?
- Yeah, he was my grandfather.
- No way, dude!
So you're just gonna walk in?
- Are you recording me?
- Yeah, just in case
your body's pulled apart
into tiny pieces
by an unseen dark force.
All right. Bye.
Okay, so this is happening.
Hello?
No!
Hi, I'm Chucky. Wanna play?
I need to know
what's lurking inside.
- No way. Killer replica.
- Totally.
- A replica of what?
- A trap.
A ghost trap.
Seriously? How do you of
all people not know about this?
- I'm ashamed.
- Oh, I was obsessed.
New York in the '80s,
it was like The Walking Dead.
- Then it just stopped?
- Mm-hm.
I mean, there hasn't been
a ghost sighting in 30 years.
Wait a minute.
This thing is real?
- Absolutely.
- Maybe.
I found it
in my living room.
She lives on the Dirt Farm.
Oh, the really spooky one?
Yeah, the one
that says "dirt" on it.
What happened in New York?
The whole city was freaking out.
Then these physicists showed up
with these portable
proton accelerators
and blew the roof off
of a Manhattan high-rise.
None of this rings a bell?
It happened 20 years
before we were born.
I believe it.
Ghostbusters!
Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!
I mean, your, uh, dad
never mentioned this?
It's just my mom.
Oh, just your mom. Oh.
Um, cool.
"Cool"?
I wonder if this still works.
Should we open it?
Glasses.
Two millimeters
of plastic eye protection?
Are you sure this is safe?
Safe?
Heh, no.
No.
History is safe.
Geometry, that's safe.
Science is all
particle accelerators
and hydrogen bombs.
Science is giving yourself
the plague
and gambling on the cure.
Science is reckless.
Totally! Yes!
It's punk rock.
It's a safety pin
through the nipple of academia.
- Ouch.
- Fire it up.
I've always wanted
to do this.
Yes!
Uh...
we should probably
get out of here.
You're an adult.
Yeah.
And liable.
You know what this means,
right?
Your grandfather
was a Ghostbuster.
Yes, I'm aware.
It has a door and windows,
like any ordinary house.
But the distinct smell
of evil...
...is prominent.
What are you doing?
Oh, um,
giving a little color.
Setting the mood.
It's creepy.
I dig it.
Wow.
Cool.
Whoa. Aztec death whistle.
It's designed
to ward off evil spirits.
It's got
a really horrifying sound...
What...?
Um, what the hell is that?
Aztec death whistle.
Can I keep it?
Yes, please.
Just don't do that again.
Hi.
Hello again.
You brought them home.
- It's a service I provide.
- Are...?
- Well, I'm also an escort.
- Mmm...?
- That came out wrong.
- Kind of... Yep.
The truth is,
I've always wondered
what lurked
inside this haunt box.
Right. Well, the only thing
lurking inside here
is my slowly dying soul.
Is that what that smell is?
Well, it's not dinner, so...
Well, all right.
- Um, would you...
- Sure.
- ...like...?
- Yeah.
I don't have any food.
- It's fine.
- Okay, tour.
- Great.
- Great.
Here's the dining room.
I think Grooberson's trying
to bone your mom.
Oh.
That doesn't bother you?
No, of course it bothers me.
I just don't exhibit emotions
the same way everyone else does.
Inside, I'm vomiting.
Wait.
Isn't this
what we saw earlier?
"The Sumerians believed
in a land of the dead,
"a dark and shadowy realm
within the bowels of the earth.
"The souls of the dead are
ruled by a mighty god, Gozer,
"and protected
by a powerful Gatekeeper
"and Keymaster, in order
that Gozer might rise up
"and walk the human plane again.
The Gatekeeper and Keymaster
must assume the form of beasts."
What did we let out?
Yum.
Has this ever
been cleaned before?
Not by me.
We're heading up the mountain.
You coming?
Rivers are like
the moms of canyons.
Basically,
when you think about it.
Why'd you bring me up here?
Entertainment value.
Can you juggle?
- It's not funny.
- What are you doing here
in Summerville anyway?
Honestly, my mom won't say it,
but we're broke.
We got evicted, and the only
thing that's left in our name
is this creepy, old farmhouse
our grandfather left us
in the middle of nowhere.
No offense.
I'm not offended.
This place is a dump.
Then why do you live here?
I'm fourth-generation dump,
so...
Oh.
You think you'll ever leave?
I mean, if I don't,
what does that say about me?
You don't have a car.
What the hell? Get out.
What is that?
I don't know.
Gozer.
What was that?
It's not funny.
What is this?
- That's a map.
- Yeah, I know it's a...
A map. But this...
This thing's ancient. It's
written in a kind of cuneiform.
Oh, yeah?
This is Summerville.
- That doesn't make sense.
- No, not at all.
Summerville's not even 100
years old, but this is written
in a language
from thousands of years ago.
For all I know,
that's the language he spoke.
That's it?
You don't think
this is incredible
and bizarre and fascinating?
Can I have this?
Yeah, sure. Weirdo.
That's how it starts.
First there's a map.
Then you move
into a haunted house.
Then everyone's calling you
the Dirt Farmer.
What about Phoebe?
Think she'd want any of this?
Oh, I'm sure
Phoebe will find something.
Hello?
Two of the CRT emitters
are missing.
Thanks.
How on earth did you build
such a small cyclotron?
Got it. You're a genius.
Needle-nose pliers?
Are you troubled by
strange noises in the night?
Do you experience
feelings of dread
in your basement or attic?
Have you or any of your family
ever seen a spook, specter
or ghost?
If the answer is yes,
don't wait another minute.
- Call the professionals.
- Ghostbusters.
Our courteous and efficient
staff is on call 24 hours a day
to serve all your
supernatural elimination needs.
We're ready to believe you.
Hey, you're awake.
What are you up to?
Experiments.
Ugh, lame.
Oh, you found popcorn.
What kind of scientist
was Grandpa?
The kind
that repels loved ones.
- Maybe a physicist?
- Sure.
So tomorrow I was thinking
of grabbing dinner with Gary.
Who's Gary?
Mr. Grooberson.
His name is Gary Grooberson?
You have a date
with Gary Grooberson.
It's just dinner.
Good night, Phoebe.
Don't be yourself.
Welcome to Rust City.
This is where they processed
all the raw selenium?
Yeah, I guess.
Cool.
How'd you
know how to fix it?
I mean, no offense,
but you are 12.
I kind of met
my grandfather last night.
He showed me what to do.
No way. Was he, like,
howling and clanking chains?
- No. That would've been weird.
- Oh.
Switch me on.
Safety's off.
Her feet are planted.
Her face is poised.
Will this be
the moment of her death?
Nobody knows.
Yeah!
Whoo!
Oh, my gosh.
That is the best thing
I've ever seen.
Did I hit it?
You didn't hit it.
You destroyed it!
It doesn't even exist anymore!
My turn.
What was that?
Probably a pigeon or something.
Give me the gun.
What is that?
Come on.
Hold on.
- You coming?
- I'm coming.
I gotta come back here
for my Halloween episode.
It's a ghost.
A-aren't you just a little bit
freaked out right now?
Overstimulation calms me.
- Okay, okay, okay.
- What's that for?
I have a plan.
Wait!
- Get the trap!
- Okay.
I got him!
Quick!
- Nuggets! Aah!
- Catch him!
Okay.
Ugh, come on!
Come on, you can do this.
Come on, darling.
Yes!
Yes!
Shit!
Hey.
Hey.
This is Podcast.
He... He's my friend.
- You have a friend?
- You have a car?
Yeah, it's a Cadillac.
Hey, dude. We need a ride.
- Do you know how to drive?
- He doesn't.
He failed his driver's test
three times.
Get in the back.
- Thank you.
- It sounds crazy,
but Oklahoma never had
earthquakes. For centuries.
But then, between 2010 and 2016,
they had like a thousand.
Oh, jeez, what happened?
Oil and gas,
that's what happened.
Yeah, they started pumping
millions of gallons
of salinated water deep
into the Arbuckle Formation.
And then
the porous limestone...
Are you drunk?
Or are you just really bored?
Because I think
I can see you falling asleep.
Uh, I just have, uh,
an allergy to science.
Uh-huh.
Have you tried Benadryl?
- I've tried, um, whiskey.
- It's better than Benadryl.
But science is amazing.
Science is pure.
It's an absolute.
I mean, it's an answer
to all the madness.
Why don't you like science?
Was, uh... Was Phoebe's dad
a scientist, or...?
- Oh, gross. No.
- No?
I'm making an assumption.
What's his deal?
Honestly, I don't...
It doesn't matter.
He was fine with Trevor, but
with Phoebe, he just really...
He couldn't connect
with her, so...
Right. Well, he sounds
like a royal dirtbag.
Oh, no, he was actually
just a very ordinary dirtbag.
Well, hey, at least, uh,
Phoebe turned out okay, right?
I hope so.
I don't know.
She really keeps me
on the outside.
She's just an awkward,
nerdy kid, but she's awesome.
I think she's great.
I think you're great.
You're a great mom.
Yeah. You showed up. You win.
I just wish she'd relax,
you know?
- Just get into some trouble.
- There's plenty of time for that.
Maybe she'll take up
pole dancing.
- She's not very coordinated.
- Oh, I don't think that matters.
So, what the hell is going on?
In the 1980s,
New York City was attacked.
I know
the Manhattan ghost stories.
- The stories are real.
- Yeah, and so were the guys
who climbed a building
and saved the world
and fought back
an invading army of the undead.
Not to mention
a 100-foot marshmallow man.
Our grandfather
was Egon Spengler.
He was a Ghostbuster.
All units,
we're getting reports of,
well, some kind of animal
taking a bite
out of Steve Fletcher's truck.
Apparently, he almost took
the whole tailgate off?
- Muncher.
- Muncher.
- What should I be looking for?
- Evidence.
Can you stop breathing
in my ear?
No.
You guys,
this is kind of stupid.
Are you sure you didn't see,
like, a raccoon
or, like, a possum?
There!
Is that a...?
Free-floating metal muncher.
Definitely Class Five.
Okay, uh, what do we do?
Let's get him.
What?
Let me get a photo first.
Guys?
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Whoa. It has a gunner seat?
Go, go, go!
Whoa!
Whoa!
What the...?
Uh...
- Yes!
- Trap him!
Okay. Okay. Here we go.
Come on, keep it straight.
You try driving this thing.
Left, left, left!
- Ready!
- Trap him already!
- Three, two...
- Three, two, one...
Oh, my God,
what just happened?
He's heading for
the mountain.
- Closer.
- Okay.
I'm in range.
She got him!
Whatever we're doing,
we have to do it now.
Come on!
- Yes!
- Yeah!
Bridge!
What was that?
I think we just caught
a ghost.
Ugh!
Sorry.
I was here last night.
Does any of this bother you?
What do you mean?
Dude, your grandfather
was a legend.
You can literally be
anything you want.
Like a influencer or a DJ.
It was easier when I thought
he went nuts.
- He didn't go nuts.
- Exactly.
So why did he leave Mom?
Oh, no, no, no.
We're screwed.
We're so screwed.
- What do we do?
- I say we fight.
What? No.
Just check the glove box.
License and registration.
We were on that big mountain,
and I went to go hang out with
this girl in this mining cage.
All of a sudden, it started
shaking, like an earthquake.
And there were lights,
and then I looked down
in this giant hole.
Inside of it,
right in the middle of it,
was either a person
or a reptile...
Are you even
paying attention?
Yeah. I'm just excited
we're in jail.
I thought I heard something
say, "Gozer."
He speaks the truth.
I was there.
Hey. Hi. How...?
What brings you here?
Actually, you could help me
with hiding something.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Do you have priors?
'Cause they'll charge you
as a minor.
You'll get two years. Max.
- Two?
- I'll visit you, okay?
Lucky.
Quit messing with my inmates.
Sorry, Dad.
"Dad." So you're just...
Waiting for my ride. Yeah.
But you look good behind bars.
Hey. Don't we get a phone call?
Sure you do.
Who you gonna call?
Make it quick.
Do you experience
feelings of dread
in your basement
or attic?
Have you
or any of your family
ever seen a spook, specter,
or ghost?
If the answer is yes,
then don't wait another minute.
Pick up your phone
and call the professionals.
Ray's Occult, and we're closed.
Wait!
I only get one phone call.
I'm...
- in prison.
- Hmm.
The slammer, huh?
I've been there myself.
I'm not a lawyer,
but I'm listening.
Are you Ray Stantz,
the Ghostbuster?
- And now I'm hanging up.
- Hang on. Please.
I... I'm calling
about Egon Spengler.
Egon Spengler can rot in hell.
He died last week.
Oh, man.
No kidding.
Weren't you two friends?
That was a long time ago.
What happened to you guys?
Oh, well, look, when we started,
busting ghosts was a gas.
The economy was good.
Reagan years.
People believed in us.
Then things got slow,
hauntings got thin.
Venkman thought
we did our job too well.
We could barely keep up
our mortgage.
Some actor bought up
most of Tribeca,
and we lost the firehouse.
It's a Starbucks now.
So then you all
just walked away?
Peter went back to academia.
He's at SUNY Cortland now.
He's a professor emeritus.
He teaches advertising
and promotion.
Winston went into finance.
He worked hard,
coined a fortune and...
And I'm here.
- Well, what about Egon?
- Well, he wasn't helping.
We went from ten calls a week
to one if we were lucky.
Egon started to tell people
that their ghost problems
didn't matter
because the world
was coming to an end.
He got spooky. Freaked me out.
One morning, I go to work
and Ecto-1, our old Cadillac,
is gone,
his neutrona thrower,
collider pack, all the traps,
16 ounces of fuel isotope,
all gone!
He cleaned us out.
Now we were the dead ones.
Don't you think
he had a reason?
He phoned me
about ten years later,
some small town in Oklahoma.
He kept rambling
about "the rising storm"
and "the huge psychic tornado"
that was gonna "consume
humanity in darkness forever."
And, kid, I wanted to believe.
You don't understand.
There is this mountain
and it has these
ancient carvings...
Kid, there are
a lot of mountains
with ancient carvings.
Take a little advice.
Don't go chasing ghosts.
Egon Spengler
was my grandfather.
Time's up.
Hey, hello?
- Where are my kids?
- They're in the lockup.
My children are not criminals.
- Sure they're not.
- Driving without a license.
Expired registration.
Speeding.
They can't be the first
to go joyriding.
No, they are not.
But they are the first
to destroy half of Main Street
with whatever that thing is.
Whoa!
- Sorry.
- What were you thinking?
You know, you two could have
really hurt yourselves.
Hey. I'm Gary.
You process them out yet?
Did you catch anything?
It's inside the trap.
- Right now?
- Yes.
Let's go. You were supposed
to look after her this summer.
- I was?
- Not you. Him.
This was her idea.
But what about our stuff?
The Ecto-1?
Everything will remain nice
and safe in our impound locker.
- No! We need it.
- Phoebe, let's go.
We caught a ghost tonight.
- Dirt Farmer's family.
- It's true.
And there will be more.
You're starting to sound
like your lunatic grandfather.
Phoebe! She didn't mean it.
You wanna spend the night
in my jail?
You can... You can keep it.
Go. Now.
- Trevor.
- I'll see you at work.
Yeah. See you.
Hey.
All right, you guys.
Remember that...
Yeah, you got it.
I'm sorry the night
went sideways.
No. I-I had a blast.
Why don't we just pick it up
tomorrow night, same time.
- You really want more of this?
- Are you kidding me?
We had kung pao shrimp.
We went to jail.
I don't know how we're gonna
top this. This is a home run.
Um, my life is a dumpster fire.
I love dumpster fires.
You should see my apartment.
I don't mean now.
Or a-anytime soon.
You don't want to...
I'd need to clean...
This is moving way too fast.
You gotta just relax.
The kids hungry?
They want some of this, uh,
unrefrigerated shrimp?
- We're barely hanging on here.
- You don't understand.
I understand
you drove around town,
destroying
expensive property.
Don't you think your father
came out here for a reason?
No.
No. I think
he was a sad old man
who turned his back
on his family, his partners.
And for what? For a stupid farm
in a town nobody cares about.
Where, by the way,
everybody thought he was nuts.
Yeah, great decision, Dad.
He was special.
He loved science, like me.
Why didn't you tell me my
grandfather was Egon Spengler?
Hey, I'm glad you found yourself
here. I really am.
But all I see are reminders
that I didn't mean a thing
to him.
He never cared about me.
He's not nuts.
Well, then he's an asshole.
Welcome to the family.
Yeah.
Jamoca.
There we go.
Strawberry, red velvet...
Blue velvet?
Aah! Ah.
Oh, God.
Hey...
Okay, so,
what exactly is happening with the map?
See the concentric circles
around the mountain?
No.
- Do you see the circles?
- Yes.
Something's happening
inside that old mine.
Yeah. I know that.
It's pretty obvious.
So I did some digging
on the word you heard
in the mountain. "Gozer."
You did some digging?
Gozer was a Sumerian god
who once walked
amongst the living.
A soul-eating,
flame-dripping deity of evil.
And I think it wants back.
Here?
I know.
I would've picked Orlando.
What does the name Ivo Shandor
mean to you guys?
Ivo Shandor?
He built this whole town.
He built the mine, foundry,
the school, library.
- His name is on everything.
- That's tacky.
In New York, he created
an apartment building
made out of selenium girders,
mined from right here.
On that same rooftop is
where our grandfather fought
to keep a horde of ghosts
from entering our dimension.
Phoebe, what exactly
is happening here?
I can only think of one way
for us to find out.
So, what do a cigarette
and hamster have in common?
- What?
- They're both harmless
until you stick one in your
mouth and light it on fire.
The worst time.
Hey, guys, look.
Is that her?
Is that Gozer?
Gozer isn't he or she.
Pretty woke for 3000 BC.
Everyone watch their steps.
Another hole?
I wonder where
this one leads to.
A sacrificial death pit.
What were they sacrificing?
Virgins, probably.
Tough luck for you, dude.
Sorry.
Well, statistically,
most 15-year-olds are virgins.
Shh! Oh...
Fifteen? You're 15?
I'll be 16 in February.
It's June.
What are those holes
in the wall?
They're vacancies.
If this is a tomb,
where are all the bodies?
Found one.
Oh.
- What?
- Oh, my God.
Is he sleeping?
Dude, he's in a coffin.
It's Ivo Shandor.
He's been in here for 75 years?
He looks fantastic.
You know when you die,
your fingernails keep growing.
Not true.
Your skin just shrinks.
Something was
coming and he knew it.
I think these are years.
The Krakatoa eruption.
The most violent volcanic
activity in human history.
What happened in 1908?
Probably the
Tunguska blast over Siberia.
What didn't happen?
Ghosts attack New York City.
The Manhattan Crossrip.
- It's a countdown.
- Like a prophecy?
Do you guys hear that?
Yeah, I do.
I think it's coming
from the death pit.
Phoebe.
Phoebe!
The earthquakes.
- Oh, my gosh!
- Phoebe!
Phoebe.
Phoebe.
I think he's alive.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Are you?
- Yeah.
Pheebs, what's wrong?
He was right all along.
- What do you mean?
- Our grandfather.
He was right here.
He built this.
He was standing guard,
even when no one believed him.
He sacrificed everything.
His life.
His friends.
Us.
Bummer.
Dude.
We need to tell Mom.
Phoebe?
Pheebs?
Mom?
Mom?
There is no Mom.
There is only Zuul.
Mom, are you okay?
There is no Mom.
There is only Zuul.
What's happening right now?
Mom?
Is she okay?
Mom?
Are you the Keymaster?
- Um, I don't know.
- Mom!
- What do I do?
- Mom, stop!
Whoa!
Mom!
What the hell is going on?
What is all this?
This isn't a farm.
It's a trap.
What?
Nothing.
This is what he's been working
on all those years.
- Building this model?
- The detail is amazing.
No, he came here to finish
what the original
Ghostbusters started.
- To trap Gozer...
- Out in that dirt field.
Exactly. These big silos act
as a capacitor.
- What's a capacitor?
- Would it kill you to read?
Would it kill you
to just tell me?
Once activated,
these towers
can hold a charge
for one moment.
But in that one moment, they
can power hundreds of traps.
So how do we get Gozer
into the field?
Gozer's protected
by two evil spirits.
The Keymaster
and the Gatekeeper.
She needs both of them.
No Gatekeeper, no Gozer.
First these spirits must
possess two human souls.
- Like Mom.
- So they can unite...
formally.
What are we talking about?
We're thinking
at least third base.
Go, Mom.
I like your eyes.
Thanks.
They were just here.
There she is.
- Got anything?
- No, just more stupid guns.
A jail inside a jail.
What are you talking about?
No, no, no!
It's an ANSI Class One
electromagnetic deadbolt.
I believe in you.
It's unpickable.
- What are you doing?
- I have a plan.
Wait!
Come on. Let's go.
Okay.
- Ready?
- I'll be waiting.
That's my mom.
What?
Your Eminence.
Goddess of Gods.
I have built this temple
for you,
so that you might return
to Earth...
and together...
we...
We can rule the world.
Excuse me.
Uh...
P-pardon me.
Yeah, hi.
Uh...
Uh...
What do you call a fish
with no eyes?
A fsh...
Uh...
A whale...
There's two whales in a bar.
One of them goes:
And then the other one goes:
"Go home. You're drunk."
Uh...
- Okay.
- Uh...
So a grasshopper
walks into a bar...
and the bartender's like:
"We have a drink
named after you."
Then the grasshopper's like:
"You have a drink named Steve?"
Have you come
to offer yourself in sacrifice?
What?
Are you prepared to die?
No, I'm 12.
Are you?
Mom!
- Wait, wait. What's going on?
- Hey!
- What's happening? Where am I?
- It's okay.
- You were possessed.
- Possessed?
- Then you turned into a dog.
- Then you got humpy.
- Humpy?
- Hold on!
Oh, Phoebe. Phoebe.
There's this secret basement...
- We know.
- ...with computers and equipment.
- Isn't that place insane?
- Yes!
And it seemed
like he had a plan.
- We're aware.
- Oh. Oh.
And there were
all these photos of me.
Like he was tracking
my entire life.
- How rewarding.
- Super news.
We wanna hear about it.
Yeah, but we're trying
to save the world.
Okay. Cool. I'm in.
Uh, how can I help?
- No!
- What the hell was that?
- That was your boyfriend Gary.
- Boyfriend?
Inside that trap
is the Gatekeeper.
- Gatekeeper?
- If the Gatekeeper
and the Keymaster reunite...
- Keymaster?
- One second.
Phoebe.
You're... You're...
I'm a scientist.
- Oh. We got her!
- Yes!
This was Grandpa's plan.
Coming in hot!
Mom, come on!
Oh, my God.
- Get back. Get back.
- Mom.
- What's up?
- Hey.
No, no, no.
Pull the lever.
Pull...?
Aah!
Hey!
Come on,
what are you waiting for?
I'm waiting
for this thing to work!
- It's not working!
- Uh...
- Mom, hit the pedal!
- Pedal?
Lucky!
Podcast,
what are you doing?
I've got my own problems!
Oh, no.
No.
Hey, flattop.
Have you missed us?
Gozer the Gozerian...
...in the name of the county of
Summerville, state of Oklahoma,
the U.S. Fish
and Wildlife Service,
all the members
of Ducks Unlimited,
the Association for the
Advancement of Retired Persons,
I command you under the National
Invasive Species Act
to depart this world
immediately.
Bravo.
I think she remembers us.
Are you...
a god?
- Ray?
- Oh, come on, Ray.
Yes.
Yeah, we're all gods.
Yeah, I mean, we're all pretty
dang special down here.
On a personal note:
I thought that we had busted up
for good.
It wasn't working for me.
My friends didn't think so.
I know yours didn't.
Okay, playtime's over.
Let's toast this muffin.
Light them up.
Man, I love that sound.
On the count of three.
Go on "two." One. Two.
Yeah, nothing stings
like a billion electron volts!
Yes!
- Do you feel that?
- Yeah.
Uh-oh.
She's uncrossing
the streams!
- No!
- Oh!
Are they dead?
I don't remember
this job being so painful.
- I do.
- You got a lot of nerve.
Coming back here,
crawling back to me.
We could've been the most
spectacular power couple.
You know, my sense of fun
and your personality.
But, no, you always had
to vanquish and conquer.
Always had to maim somebody.
And that's probably
the number one reason why...
Good try, anyway.
Now we're finished, babe.
We're finished.
No.
Come on, Phoebe.
Holy shit.
We're on!
I thought
you might turn up.
I'm sorry...
I didn't believe you.
I should've called.
I miss you, my friend.
Are you okay?
- You scared the shit out of me.
- Mom.
I can't breathe.
Okay.
Hi there.
Pete Venkman
from the home office.
- Thanks for pitching in.
- You're welcome.
I like your style.
Who's that one?
Callie.
Callie Spengler.
- Spengler?
- Mm.
Weird name.
Try to make the best of that.
All right.
We're gonna have cocoa inside.
And some of us
will have rum with it.
Lucky!
- Oh.
- God. Hey. Hey, man.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I... Yeah.
My hands hurt
from galloping.
Oh, my God.
I totally thought I lost you.
Sorry about that.
Well, that was weird.
Mm-hm. Yeah.
I'm bleeding.
Why am I bleeding?
You headbutted a park bench.
- Oh, right. Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Um, back there, yeah.
- Yeah.
I mean, before we became dogs
and opened the gates of hell,
I think that maybe we, uh...
Yeah. Yeah, I think so too.
But then we saved the world,
so...
That's true.
Are you all right, son?
You just singlehandedly defeated
a manifestation of Gozer.
You gotta be on my podcast.
Sure. What's it called?
Mystical Tales
of the Unknown Universe.
M.T.U.U., that's you?
Wait.
You're my subscriber?!
Really found its voice
in the 46th episode.
What did they do to you?
Don't worry.
I'll take you home,
get you all cleaned up.
Go.
Hey.
Ghostbusters!
If there's something strange
In your neighborhood
Who you gonna call?
Ghostbusters!
If there's something weird
And it don't look good
Who you gonna call?
Ghostbusters!
I ain't 'fraid of no ghost
I ain't 'fraid of no ghost
If you're seeing things
Running through your head
Who can you call?
Ghostbusters!
An invisible man
Sleepin' in your bed
Ow, who you gonna call?
Ghostbusters!
I ain't 'fraid of no ghost
I ain't 'fraid of no ghost
Who you gonna call?
Ghostbusters!
If you're all alone
Pick up the phone
And call
Ghostbusters!
Tell me what this is.
Lines.
Two...
No, three...
wavy lines.
- It's amazing.
- You're amazing.
With your ability to...
flood my psychic powers.
I can't believe you used
to shock your students.
Between us,
I only zapped the guys.
Aah!
It was flawed science.
I know that now. I admit that.
Ready?
Try this one.
Take a moment.
Uh...
It's a five-pointed star.
- Yes?
- How are you doing that?
Some believe that true love
imbues a subject
with the ability...
Ah!
- Did you mark the cards?
- No.
You did, didn't you?
Yeah.
It works well.
You walk out the door
Then you want back in
The second it's cold outside
And you see
I've got something to give
And I'd give it to you
A hundred times over
Till you screwed me over
Just like the last time
Sayin':
"It was the last time"
I paid the price
Stayin' alone in my room
After what happened in June
Thinking I really loved you
And maybe I still do
But I think you're honestly
Something I needed to lose
No, it's not healthy
It doesn't help me
But I do it anyways
Lookin' at photos
Reading the letters
That you gave me
I could never
Throw them out
'Cause a ghost never leaves
A haunted house
A ghost never leaves
A haunted house
- I get reminiscent
- Oh
When somebody
Says your name
- Almost glad I miss it
- Oh
'Cause it's better than
Not feeling a single thing
Even after all the white lies
Empty goodbyes
All the tears
And all the times you weren't
There when I needed you to be
Hoping you're right where
You wanna be
Even if it's not with me
I know it's not healthy
It doesn't help me
But I do it anyways
Looking at photos
Reading the letters
That you gave me
I could never
Throw them out
'Cause a ghost never leaves
A haunted house
A ghost never leaves
A haunted house
A ghost never leaves
A haunted house
I think we're on
Our final scene
Keep us good
In all our memories
So I don't have to
Throw them out
A ghost never leaves
A haunted house
- I want you to take this.
- What is it?
It's a souvenir
from the World's Fair
at Flushing Meadow
in 1964.
It's my lucky coin.
I shouldn't take it.
We might not be coming back.
Take it anyway.
I got another one at home.
Egon was the brains.
Ray was the heart.
Peter just kept it cool.
Who were you?
The sex appeal.
You've done very well
for yourself.
A lot of shelf space.
See, that's the thing.
I don't do it for me.
I do it for my kids,
and I wanna be an example
of what's possible.
You still covering the rent
at Ray's bookshop?
Ray's gonna turn
a profit one of these days.
I
remember the day you came in.
I came in looking
for a steady paycheck.
But busting ghosts
with the guys...
taught me not to be afraid.
That I had the tools
and I had the talent.
I started this business
with one employee.
And I've grown it into
a thriving global enterprise.
I may be a businessman,
but I will always be
a Ghostbuster.
Ew, Mom, I'm trying
to eat breakfast.
Almost done.
Aw, your mustache
is really coming in.
Mom!
- Phoebe!
- Ow!
I'm bleeding!
You made me bleed!
You'll live. Phoebe!
Oh! What are you doing?
Neighbor's electricity
is running out of phase.
- I tied in, bumped us up to 220.
- Take that off.
Now I can run my lathe.
And you didn't think
to ask me?
I mean, you just demonstrate
zero aptitude for science.
- Uh-huh, got it.
- You're better at other things.
- Like quesadillas.
- My hair dryer.
- Your quesadillas are excellent.
- Thank you.
Now what?
Mom!
- Really? You don't have legs?
- I'm not an adult.
I'm literally driving
to pick up a check right now.
You win lottery?
Kind of. My father died.
Relax.
I didn't even know him.
I'm surprised
he left me anything.
- Sounds like my father.
- Yeah?
Did your dad
abandon your family
and move to a farm
in the middle of nowhere?
No.
Look, I...
I know I have not been
a reliable or consistent tenant.
But if you give me a week
to settle loose ends,
I'll be back
with everything I owe.
I can fix that!
Listen,
I wait for you to leave,
then I change locks.
There it is.
This is Summerville.
This is where
your grandfather lived.
And died.
Ah, come on.
Not a single bar?
There'd better be a bar.
That's funny.
"Behold,
"there was a great earthquake.
"The sun became
as black as cloth,
"the seas boiled,
"the moon became as blood,
"the skies fell.
Revelation 6:12."
That was normal.
Hey, maybe it's a good thing
you never met your dad.
Great. You didn't tell us
we inherited a murder house.
And just think.
Now all of this is ours.
Pheebs, be a dear and break
into your grandfather's house.
Nice.
Oh, boy.
Not a single photo.
Rats.
You gotta see the gold mine
of junk I found out back.
Great.
Oh, my God,
this is so much worse
than I thought it was gonna be.
Under the dining table now!
Phoebe.
Remember that summer
we died under a table?
Of course this place is built
on a fault line.
Probably just fracking.
It's fracking annoying,
is what it is.
It's okay,
we're only here for a week.
Um, give or take.
What does that mean?
It means we're staying.
You said we'd
only be here for a week!
Yeah, well, that was
before we got evicted.
You said
you had money saved up.
- That was before I had children.
- Oh!
To be fair, you've never
been good with money.
Thanks, Pheebs.
What's that?
How am I supposed to know?
Can I help you?
Um, hi. We're...
We're the, um... The...
This was my father's place.
Hi.
Hi.
I'm, uh, Janine Melnitz.
We spoke on the phone.
I was your father's...
You know, we were friends.
- Very sorry for your loss.
- It's okay.
You knew him better than me.
I should be sorry for your loss.
I just tried to keep
the bills paid on time,
- that kind of thing.
- Like a money manager?
Oh, there was
no money to manage.
He could barely keep
the power on.
So he left us nothing?
Well, I wouldn't say that.
There is quite a bit of debt.
Ms. Melnitz,
I'm here to sign forms,
pack the silverware
and leave with a rent check.
Are you telling me
this place is worthless?
You mean, aside from
the sentimental value?
Are you going
to that thing later?
- Yeah, probably.
- Where's my order?
I can't believe
a place like this still exists.
I can't believe we have
to spend a summer in this heap.
- We have lives.
- You don't think I have a life?
No. You're a mom.
You live for us.
I'll be right back.
Oh.
Hey. Maybe you will make
a friend out here.
- Make them out of what?
- I'm serious.
A new home could be
an opportunity to start fresh.
Just keep an open mind.
Two taters, three Spinners,
grilled onions, one no cheese.
Lucky, there's... There's
something wrong with the meat.
- I don't feel so good, Lucky. Oh!
- There's something wrong.
- He's throwing up the meat!
- Heh-heh-heh!
Cool place.
Yeah, I'll use that.
I don't own it.
I know you don't own it.
You look pretty young
to own a business.
I saw the sign out front.
"Help wanted"?
I... I can be helpful.
Under experience, you put
"friendly" with a smiley face?
I didn't really know
what to put.
I don't think "friendly"
qualifies as an experience.
It's a quality, I guess.
- How old are you?
- Seventeen.
Think you can put in
a good word for me?
I can tell them
you have a pulse.
My name's Trevor.
My name's Trevor.
- Dude, that was great.
- Dude, that was really cute.
You have a chance with her.
You really do.
Mmm.
So where you heading?
We're staying, actually.
You know that farmhouse
off the highway with the barn?
Dirt? It was my father's.
Dirt Farmer had a family?
You knew my father?
No one knew your father.
Well, I'm sure he'll be missed.
Nope.
Whoa!
What's up, Casanova?
Ow.
Damn it.
What?
Come on! Bus leaves in 15!
Hey, Pheebs, at school today,
don't be afraid
to just start a conversation.
Are you kidding?
That's horrible advice.
You're literally setting her up
for failure.
Hey, how are the jokes
coming along?
Why should you
never trust atoms?
Because they
make up everything.
- That's funny.
- No, it's not.
- You can drop me off here.
- Are you embarrassed?
Yeah. Bye.
Love you!
- That almost killed you.
- Yeah, with your face.
- What's wrong? You love school.
- I love learning.
This is a state-sponsored
work camp for delinquents.
Fine. You can help me scrape
asbestos out of the attic.
I'll take my chances
with public education.
Hey, don't be yourself.
- You okay?
- Ah, yeah. First day.
Can you imagine who they've got
teaching summer school?
I can. I teach here.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
No, it's okay. It's...
Most of the kids that go here,
they're not very bright.
Hey, Colin.
He's...
I can kind of do
whatever I want.
Score.
- Right?
- Mm.
- Dream job.
- Mm-hm.
Good morning, class.
How's everybody doing today?
My name's Mr. Grooberson.
Um...
I know.
You don't wanna be here.
I don't wanna be here either.
Now, apparently,
your, uh, school is
still operating on VHS,
but, um, I found this gem
in the teachers' lounge.
It's great. It's called Cujo.
It's about
a rabid Saint Bernard that...
You know what? I don't
wanna give too much away.
But imagine Beethoven
if he contracted rabies
and just started
mauling children.
You'll get an idea.
Enjoy.
Speeding. Three, two, one.
She sits alone.
An outcast,
rejected by her peers.
But what is her secret?
Perhaps she's on the run.
On the run...
from herself.
And go.
Actually,
my grandfather died.
My mom says we're here to pick
through the rubble of his life.
So you're here to uncover
the mystery of his death?
No.
It was natural causes.
Are you sure
it wasn't unnatural causes?
Yes.
Pretty sure
it was just a heart attack.
Oh, the silent killer.
I'm Phoebe.
Oh, cool. Uh, I'm Podcast.
Why do people call you Podcast?
Oh, I call myself Podcast.
Because of my podcast.
- Doing some painting?
- Mm, yeah.
Whereabouts you staying?
Um, that old apocalyptic ranch
off of 99.
It was my father's place.
Dirt Farmer had a family?
You all called him
the Dirt Farmer?
Meant nothing by it.
Man spends every week
working a piece of land...
but never seeding,
never watering,
never growing
a ding-dang thing.
It's curious behavior.
Great customer though.
He... He bought
some bizarre shit.
Yeah, that sounds like him.
What is this?
Hello.
Um, you know, there's
a highly entertaining movie
about a killer dog
happening right over there.
- Is this a seismic map?
- Yes.
- How did you know that?
- It's a map of seismic activity.
- Right. But...
- You're a seismologist?
Does that seem
so hard to believe?
Figured you
for a football coach.
Oh.
Um, thank you.
These don't look
tectonic or volcanic.
Okay, smarty.
Here, check this out.
This is a volcano, all right?
It builds and crests.
But this is
a tectonic earthquake.
Notice a little P-wave
followed by a large S wave.
Yeah, I'm not an idiot.
Clearly. Well, this is
the pattern in Summerville.
Large P-wave, small S wave.
Like an explosion.
- Where is it coming from?
- I don't know. I don't know.
I set up geophones,
but I can't triangulate.
- Are you using three?
- Yeah.
I know how many sides
there are in a triangle.
I just thought
you were being obtuse.
Was that a geometry joke?
- Yes, that's why I winked.
- Ah.
Uh, that's terrible.
No, I loved it.
Look at this.
I mean, somehow,
a town that isn't anywhere
near a tectonic plate,
that has no underground volcanic
activity, no fault lines,
no fracking,
no loud music even,
is shaking
on a daily basis.
Maybe it's the apocalypse.
Twenty-three, 24, 25.
Hey, no-skills. How's inventory?
Oh, hey, how's it going?
No, it's not good.
It's not good at all. Um...
- Does everyone do this?
- Yeah, it's important.
You okay?
Your lips are literally blue.
Yeah, I'm fine.
You should borrow my hoodie.
No, it's fine. Seriously.
It's really masculine.
It's got a wolf on it.
Trust me.
Okay.
I'm kind of surprised
it fits me.
Yeah, it's my boyfriend's,
actually.
- Oh.
- Back to inventory.
Okay, we're speeding.
Three, two, one.
Uh, yeah,
just introduce yourself
and tell me
what you ate for breakfast.
Um, Phoebe.
Toast.
Okay, um, maybe a little more.
Tell me a joke or something.
- A joke?
- Mm-hm.
What do you call
a dead polar bear?
Anything you want.
It can't hear you now.
Wow. That was funny.
- You're funny.
- It's a pretty hilarious joke.
Fun fact:
Did you know Summerville
has more dead residents
than living ones?
Yeah, that's
how cemeteries work.
Wertheimers Hardware,
run by the Illuminati.
- Lizard people.
- Lizard people?
Jefferson, Einstein, Beyonc?
How do you think
we got the pyramids?
- Slaves?
- Movie theater.
That one's haunted.
I don't believe in ghosts.
What? How can you...?
I mean, all the evidence!
You don't believe in spirits?
No.
I think we're all
just kind of meat puppets.
There's something
you need to see.
I'll grab my wheels.
Are we even allowed to be here?
Oh, yeah. Totally.
The mine's been closed
since the '40s.
They just put
all these signs up
'cause of
hazardous chemical leaks
and on account of dynamite.
I do this. Hmm.
The whole town was basically
a mining operation.
They bore out this mountain
like a grapefruit
and smelted everything into
cold-riveted selenium girders.
Why would you
make a steel beam
out of an electro conductor
like selenium?
Right?
Weird.
Until one day,
they were forced to close down
the whole enchilada.
Why?
One by one,
miners who had worked for years
began leaping down
the mine shaft to their death.
They called it...
the Shandorian curse.
Who built these?
Depends who you believe.
One day, they just showed up
without explanation.
Cool.
What a shitbox.
So, what's
your podcast about?
Oh, um, mostly mysteries
and the unknown,
uh, conspiracy theories,
the occasional
restaurant review.
Well, maybe I could
check it out sometime.
- Really?
- Yeah.
The show really finds
its voice on Episode 46.
Okay.
Uh, hey.
Look, this is totally cool
if this is a no.
Uh, zero "presh."
Uh, but, um...
do you wanna
be my lab partner?
Well, I don't think
we're gonna be doing any labs,
but yeah.
Yeah, sure, I'd love to.
Cool, cool. All right.
Yeah.
Well, this is me.
The Dirt Farmer's house?
- Yeah, he was my grandfather.
- No way, dude!
So you're just gonna walk in?
- Are you recording me?
- Yeah, just in case
your body's pulled apart
into tiny pieces
by an unseen dark force.
All right. Bye.
Okay, so this is happening.
Hello?
No!
Hi, I'm Chucky. Wanna play?
I need to know
what's lurking inside.
- No way. Killer replica.
- Totally.
- A replica of what?
- A trap.
A ghost trap.
Seriously? How do you of
all people not know about this?
- I'm ashamed.
- Oh, I was obsessed.
New York in the '80s,
it was like The Walking Dead.
- Then it just stopped?
- Mm-hm.
I mean, there hasn't been
a ghost sighting in 30 years.
Wait a minute.
This thing is real?
- Absolutely.
- Maybe.
I found it
in my living room.
She lives on the Dirt Farm.
Oh, the really spooky one?
Yeah, the one
that says "dirt" on it.
What happened in New York?
The whole city was freaking out.
Then these physicists showed up
with these portable
proton accelerators
and blew the roof off
of a Manhattan high-rise.
None of this rings a bell?
It happened 20 years
before we were born.
I believe it.
Ghostbusters!
Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!
I mean, your, uh, dad
never mentioned this?
It's just my mom.
Oh, just your mom. Oh.
Um, cool.
"Cool"?
I wonder if this still works.
Should we open it?
Glasses.
Two millimeters
of plastic eye protection?
Are you sure this is safe?
Safe?
Heh, no.
No.
History is safe.
Geometry, that's safe.
Science is all
particle accelerators
and hydrogen bombs.
Science is giving yourself
the plague
and gambling on the cure.
Science is reckless.
Totally! Yes!
It's punk rock.
It's a safety pin
through the nipple of academia.
- Ouch.
- Fire it up.
I've always wanted
to do this.
Yes!
Uh...
we should probably
get out of here.
You're an adult.
Yeah.
And liable.
You know what this means,
right?
Your grandfather
was a Ghostbuster.
Yes, I'm aware.
It has a door and windows,
like any ordinary house.
But the distinct smell
of evil...
...is prominent.
What are you doing?
Oh, um,
giving a little color.
Setting the mood.
It's creepy.
I dig it.
Wow.
Cool.
Whoa. Aztec death whistle.
It's designed
to ward off evil spirits.
It's got
a really horrifying sound...
What...?
Um, what the hell is that?
Aztec death whistle.
Can I keep it?
Yes, please.
Just don't do that again.
Hi.
Hello again.
You brought them home.
- It's a service I provide.
- Are...?
- Well, I'm also an escort.
- Mmm...?
- That came out wrong.
- Kind of... Yep.
The truth is,
I've always wondered
what lurked
inside this haunt box.
Right. Well, the only thing
lurking inside here
is my slowly dying soul.
Is that what that smell is?
Well, it's not dinner, so...
Well, all right.
- Um, would you...
- Sure.
- ...like...?
- Yeah.
I don't have any food.
- It's fine.
- Okay, tour.
- Great.
- Great.
Here's the dining room.
I think Grooberson's trying
to bone your mom.
Oh.
That doesn't bother you?
No, of course it bothers me.
I just don't exhibit emotions
the same way everyone else does.
Inside, I'm vomiting.
Wait.
Isn't this
what we saw earlier?
"The Sumerians believed
in a land of the dead,
"a dark and shadowy realm
within the bowels of the earth.
"The souls of the dead are
ruled by a mighty god, Gozer,
"and protected
by a powerful Gatekeeper
"and Keymaster, in order
that Gozer might rise up
"and walk the human plane again.
The Gatekeeper and Keymaster
must assume the form of beasts."
What did we let out?
Yum.
Has this ever
been cleaned before?
Not by me.
We're heading up the mountain.
You coming?
Rivers are like
the moms of canyons.
Basically,
when you think about it.
Why'd you bring me up here?
Entertainment value.
Can you juggle?
- It's not funny.
- What are you doing here
in Summerville anyway?
Honestly, my mom won't say it,
but we're broke.
We got evicted, and the only
thing that's left in our name
is this creepy, old farmhouse
our grandfather left us
in the middle of nowhere.
No offense.
I'm not offended.
This place is a dump.
Then why do you live here?
I'm fourth-generation dump,
so...
Oh.
You think you'll ever leave?
I mean, if I don't,
what does that say about me?
You don't have a car.
What the hell? Get out.
What is that?
I don't know.
Gozer.
What was that?
It's not funny.
What is this?
- That's a map.
- Yeah, I know it's a...
A map. But this...
This thing's ancient. It's
written in a kind of cuneiform.
Oh, yeah?
This is Summerville.
- That doesn't make sense.
- No, not at all.
Summerville's not even 100
years old, but this is written
in a language
from thousands of years ago.
For all I know,
that's the language he spoke.
That's it?
You don't think
this is incredible
and bizarre and fascinating?
Can I have this?
Yeah, sure. Weirdo.
That's how it starts.
First there's a map.
Then you move
into a haunted house.
Then everyone's calling you
the Dirt Farmer.
What about Phoebe?
Think she'd want any of this?
Oh, I'm sure
Phoebe will find something.
Hello?
Two of the CRT emitters
are missing.
Thanks.
How on earth did you build
such a small cyclotron?
Got it. You're a genius.
Needle-nose pliers?
Are you troubled by
strange noises in the night?
Do you experience
feelings of dread
in your basement or attic?
Have you or any of your family
ever seen a spook, specter
or ghost?
If the answer is yes,
don't wait another minute.
- Call the professionals.
- Ghostbusters.
Our courteous and efficient
staff is on call 24 hours a day
to serve all your
supernatural elimination needs.
We're ready to believe you.
Hey, you're awake.
What are you up to?
Experiments.
Ugh, lame.
Oh, you found popcorn.
What kind of scientist
was Grandpa?
The kind
that repels loved ones.
- Maybe a physicist?
- Sure.
So tomorrow I was thinking
of grabbing dinner with Gary.
Who's Gary?
Mr. Grooberson.
His name is Gary Grooberson?
You have a date
with Gary Grooberson.
It's just dinner.
Good night, Phoebe.
Don't be yourself.
Welcome to Rust City.
This is where they processed
all the raw selenium?
Yeah, I guess.
Cool.
How'd you
know how to fix it?
I mean, no offense,
but you are 12.
I kind of met
my grandfather last night.
He showed me what to do.
No way. Was he, like,
howling and clanking chains?
- No. That would've been weird.
- Oh.
Switch me on.
Safety's off.
Her feet are planted.
Her face is poised.
Will this be
the moment of her death?
Nobody knows.
Yeah!
Whoo!
Oh, my gosh.
That is the best thing
I've ever seen.
Did I hit it?
You didn't hit it.
You destroyed it!
It doesn't even exist anymore!
My turn.
What was that?
Probably a pigeon or something.
Give me the gun.
What is that?
Come on.
Hold on.
- You coming?
- I'm coming.
I gotta come back here
for my Halloween episode.
It's a ghost.
A-aren't you just a little bit
freaked out right now?
Overstimulation calms me.
- Okay, okay, okay.
- What's that for?
I have a plan.
Wait!
- Get the trap!
- Okay.
I got him!
Quick!
- Nuggets! Aah!
- Catch him!
Okay.
Ugh, come on!
Come on, you can do this.
Come on, darling.
Yes!
Yes!
Shit!
Hey.
Hey.
This is Podcast.
He... He's my friend.
- You have a friend?
- You have a car?
Yeah, it's a Cadillac.
Hey, dude. We need a ride.
- Do you know how to drive?
- He doesn't.
He failed his driver's test
three times.
Get in the back.
- Thank you.
- It sounds crazy,
but Oklahoma never had
earthquakes. For centuries.
But then, between 2010 and 2016,
they had like a thousand.
Oh, jeez, what happened?
Oil and gas,
that's what happened.
Yeah, they started pumping
millions of gallons
of salinated water deep
into the Arbuckle Formation.
And then
the porous limestone...
Are you drunk?
Or are you just really bored?
Because I think
I can see you falling asleep.
Uh, I just have, uh,
an allergy to science.
Uh-huh.
Have you tried Benadryl?
- I've tried, um, whiskey.
- It's better than Benadryl.
But science is amazing.
Science is pure.
It's an absolute.
I mean, it's an answer
to all the madness.
Why don't you like science?
Was, uh... Was Phoebe's dad
a scientist, or...?
- Oh, gross. No.
- No?
I'm making an assumption.
What's his deal?
Honestly, I don't...
It doesn't matter.
He was fine with Trevor, but
with Phoebe, he just really...
He couldn't connect
with her, so...
Right. Well, he sounds
like a royal dirtbag.
Oh, no, he was actually
just a very ordinary dirtbag.
Well, hey, at least, uh,
Phoebe turned out okay, right?
I hope so.
I don't know.
She really keeps me
on the outside.
She's just an awkward,
nerdy kid, but she's awesome.
I think she's great.
I think you're great.
You're a great mom.
Yeah. You showed up. You win.
I just wish she'd relax,
you know?
- Just get into some trouble.
- There's plenty of time for that.
Maybe she'll take up
pole dancing.
- She's not very coordinated.
- Oh, I don't think that matters.
So, what the hell is going on?
In the 1980s,
New York City was attacked.
I know
the Manhattan ghost stories.
- The stories are real.
- Yeah, and so were the guys
who climbed a building
and saved the world
and fought back
an invading army of the undead.
Not to mention
a 100-foot marshmallow man.
Our grandfather
was Egon Spengler.
He was a Ghostbuster.
All units,
we're getting reports of,
well, some kind of animal
taking a bite
out of Steve Fletcher's truck.
Apparently, he almost took
the whole tailgate off?
- Muncher.
- Muncher.
- What should I be looking for?
- Evidence.
Can you stop breathing
in my ear?
No.
You guys,
this is kind of stupid.
Are you sure you didn't see,
like, a raccoon
or, like, a possum?
There!
Is that a...?
Free-floating metal muncher.
Definitely Class Five.
Okay, uh, what do we do?
Let's get him.
What?
Let me get a photo first.
Guys?
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Whoa. It has a gunner seat?
Go, go, go!
Whoa!
Whoa!
What the...?
Uh...
- Yes!
- Trap him!
Okay. Okay. Here we go.
Come on, keep it straight.
You try driving this thing.
Left, left, left!
- Ready!
- Trap him already!
- Three, two...
- Three, two, one...
Oh, my God,
what just happened?
He's heading for
the mountain.
- Closer.
- Okay.
I'm in range.
She got him!
Whatever we're doing,
we have to do it now.
Come on!
- Yes!
- Yeah!
Bridge!
What was that?
I think we just caught
a ghost.
Ugh!
Sorry.
I was here last night.
Does any of this bother you?
What do you mean?
Dude, your grandfather
was a legend.
You can literally be
anything you want.
Like a influencer or a DJ.
It was easier when I thought
he went nuts.
- He didn't go nuts.
- Exactly.
So why did he leave Mom?
Oh, no, no, no.
We're screwed.
We're so screwed.
- What do we do?
- I say we fight.
What? No.
Just check the glove box.
License and registration.
We were on that big mountain,
and I went to go hang out with
this girl in this mining cage.
All of a sudden, it started
shaking, like an earthquake.
And there were lights,
and then I looked down
in this giant hole.
Inside of it,
right in the middle of it,
was either a person
or a reptile...
Are you even
paying attention?
Yeah. I'm just excited
we're in jail.
I thought I heard something
say, "Gozer."
He speaks the truth.
I was there.
Hey. Hi. How...?
What brings you here?
Actually, you could help me
with hiding something.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Do you have priors?
'Cause they'll charge you
as a minor.
You'll get two years. Max.
- Two?
- I'll visit you, okay?
Lucky.
Quit messing with my inmates.
Sorry, Dad.
"Dad." So you're just...
Waiting for my ride. Yeah.
But you look good behind bars.
Hey. Don't we get a phone call?
Sure you do.
Who you gonna call?
Make it quick.
Do you experience
feelings of dread
in your basement
or attic?
Have you
or any of your family
ever seen a spook, specter,
or ghost?
If the answer is yes,
then don't wait another minute.
Pick up your phone
and call the professionals.
Ray's Occult, and we're closed.
Wait!
I only get one phone call.
I'm...
- in prison.
- Hmm.
The slammer, huh?
I've been there myself.
I'm not a lawyer,
but I'm listening.
Are you Ray Stantz,
the Ghostbuster?
- And now I'm hanging up.
- Hang on. Please.
I... I'm calling
about Egon Spengler.
Egon Spengler can rot in hell.
He died last week.
Oh, man.
No kidding.
Weren't you two friends?
That was a long time ago.
What happened to you guys?
Oh, well, look, when we started,
busting ghosts was a gas.
The economy was good.
Reagan years.
People believed in us.
Then things got slow,
hauntings got thin.
Venkman thought
we did our job too well.
We could barely keep up
our mortgage.
Some actor bought up
most of Tribeca,
and we lost the firehouse.
It's a Starbucks now.
So then you all
just walked away?
Peter went back to academia.
He's at SUNY Cortland now.
He's a professor emeritus.
He teaches advertising
and promotion.
Winston went into finance.
He worked hard,
coined a fortune and...
And I'm here.
- Well, what about Egon?
- Well, he wasn't helping.
We went from ten calls a week
to one if we were lucky.
Egon started to tell people
that their ghost problems
didn't matter
because the world
was coming to an end.
He got spooky. Freaked me out.
One morning, I go to work
and Ecto-1, our old Cadillac,
is gone,
his neutrona thrower,
collider pack, all the traps,
16 ounces of fuel isotope,
all gone!
He cleaned us out.
Now we were the dead ones.
Don't you think
he had a reason?
He phoned me
about ten years later,
some small town in Oklahoma.
He kept rambling
about "the rising storm"
and "the huge psychic tornado"
that was gonna "consume
humanity in darkness forever."
And, kid, I wanted to believe.
You don't understand.
There is this mountain
and it has these
ancient carvings...
Kid, there are
a lot of mountains
with ancient carvings.
Take a little advice.
Don't go chasing ghosts.
Egon Spengler
was my grandfather.
Time's up.
Hey, hello?
- Where are my kids?
- They're in the lockup.
My children are not criminals.
- Sure they're not.
- Driving without a license.
Expired registration.
Speeding.
They can't be the first
to go joyriding.
No, they are not.
But they are the first
to destroy half of Main Street
with whatever that thing is.
Whoa!
- Sorry.
- What were you thinking?
You know, you two could have
really hurt yourselves.
Hey. I'm Gary.
You process them out yet?
Did you catch anything?
It's inside the trap.
- Right now?
- Yes.
Let's go. You were supposed
to look after her this summer.
- I was?
- Not you. Him.
This was her idea.
But what about our stuff?
The Ecto-1?
Everything will remain nice
and safe in our impound locker.
- No! We need it.
- Phoebe, let's go.
We caught a ghost tonight.
- Dirt Farmer's family.
- It's true.
And there will be more.
You're starting to sound
like your lunatic grandfather.
Phoebe! She didn't mean it.
You wanna spend the night
in my jail?
You can... You can keep it.
Go. Now.
- Trevor.
- I'll see you at work.
Yeah. See you.
Hey.
All right, you guys.
Remember that...
Yeah, you got it.
I'm sorry the night
went sideways.
No. I-I had a blast.
Why don't we just pick it up
tomorrow night, same time.
- You really want more of this?
- Are you kidding me?
We had kung pao shrimp.
We went to jail.
I don't know how we're gonna
top this. This is a home run.
Um, my life is a dumpster fire.
I love dumpster fires.
You should see my apartment.
I don't mean now.
Or a-anytime soon.
You don't want to...
I'd need to clean...
This is moving way too fast.
You gotta just relax.
The kids hungry?
They want some of this, uh,
unrefrigerated shrimp?
- We're barely hanging on here.
- You don't understand.
I understand
you drove around town,
destroying
expensive property.
Don't you think your father
came out here for a reason?
No.
No. I think
he was a sad old man
who turned his back
on his family, his partners.
And for what? For a stupid farm
in a town nobody cares about.
Where, by the way,
everybody thought he was nuts.
Yeah, great decision, Dad.
He was special.
He loved science, like me.
Why didn't you tell me my
grandfather was Egon Spengler?
Hey, I'm glad you found yourself
here. I really am.
But all I see are reminders
that I didn't mean a thing
to him.
He never cared about me.
He's not nuts.
Well, then he's an asshole.
Welcome to the family.
Yeah.
Jamoca.
There we go.
Strawberry, red velvet...
Blue velvet?
Aah! Ah.
Oh, God.
Hey...
Okay, so,
what exactly is happening with the map?
See the concentric circles
around the mountain?
No.
- Do you see the circles?
- Yes.
Something's happening
inside that old mine.
Yeah. I know that.
It's pretty obvious.
So I did some digging
on the word you heard
in the mountain. "Gozer."
You did some digging?
Gozer was a Sumerian god
who once walked
amongst the living.
A soul-eating,
flame-dripping deity of evil.
And I think it wants back.
Here?
I know.
I would've picked Orlando.
What does the name Ivo Shandor
mean to you guys?
Ivo Shandor?
He built this whole town.
He built the mine, foundry,
the school, library.
- His name is on everything.
- That's tacky.
In New York, he created
an apartment building
made out of selenium girders,
mined from right here.
On that same rooftop is
where our grandfather fought
to keep a horde of ghosts
from entering our dimension.
Phoebe, what exactly
is happening here?
I can only think of one way
for us to find out.
So, what do a cigarette
and hamster have in common?
- What?
- They're both harmless
until you stick one in your
mouth and light it on fire.
The worst time.
Hey, guys, look.
Is that her?
Is that Gozer?
Gozer isn't he or she.
Pretty woke for 3000 BC.
Everyone watch their steps.
Another hole?
I wonder where
this one leads to.
A sacrificial death pit.
What were they sacrificing?
Virgins, probably.
Tough luck for you, dude.
Sorry.
Well, statistically,
most 15-year-olds are virgins.
Shh! Oh...
Fifteen? You're 15?
I'll be 16 in February.
It's June.
What are those holes
in the wall?
They're vacancies.
If this is a tomb,
where are all the bodies?
Found one.
Oh.
- What?
- Oh, my God.
Is he sleeping?
Dude, he's in a coffin.
It's Ivo Shandor.
He's been in here for 75 years?
He looks fantastic.
You know when you die,
your fingernails keep growing.
Not true.
Your skin just shrinks.
Something was
coming and he knew it.
I think these are years.
The Krakatoa eruption.
The most violent volcanic
activity in human history.
What happened in 1908?
Probably the
Tunguska blast over Siberia.
What didn't happen?
Ghosts attack New York City.
The Manhattan Crossrip.
- It's a countdown.
- Like a prophecy?
Do you guys hear that?
Yeah, I do.
I think it's coming
from the death pit.
Phoebe.
Phoebe!
The earthquakes.
- Oh, my gosh!
- Phoebe!
Phoebe.
Phoebe.
I think he's alive.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Are you?
- Yeah.
Pheebs, what's wrong?
He was right all along.
- What do you mean?
- Our grandfather.
He was right here.
He built this.
He was standing guard,
even when no one believed him.
He sacrificed everything.
His life.
His friends.
Us.
Bummer.
Dude.
We need to tell Mom.
Phoebe?
Pheebs?
Mom?
Mom?
There is no Mom.
There is only Zuul.
Mom, are you okay?
There is no Mom.
There is only Zuul.
What's happening right now?
Mom?
Is she okay?
Mom?
Are you the Keymaster?
- Um, I don't know.
- Mom!
- What do I do?
- Mom, stop!
Whoa!
Mom!
What the hell is going on?
What is all this?
This isn't a farm.
It's a trap.
What?
Nothing.
This is what he's been working
on all those years.
- Building this model?
- The detail is amazing.
No, he came here to finish
what the original
Ghostbusters started.
- To trap Gozer...
- Out in that dirt field.
Exactly. These big silos act
as a capacitor.
- What's a capacitor?
- Would it kill you to read?
Would it kill you
to just tell me?
Once activated,
these towers
can hold a charge
for one moment.
But in that one moment, they
can power hundreds of traps.
So how do we get Gozer
into the field?
Gozer's protected
by two evil spirits.
The Keymaster
and the Gatekeeper.
She needs both of them.
No Gatekeeper, no Gozer.
First these spirits must
possess two human souls.
- Like Mom.
- So they can unite...
formally.
What are we talking about?
We're thinking
at least third base.
Go, Mom.
I like your eyes.
Thanks.
They were just here.
There she is.
- Got anything?
- No, just more stupid guns.
A jail inside a jail.
What are you talking about?
No, no, no!
It's an ANSI Class One
electromagnetic deadbolt.
I believe in you.
It's unpickable.
- What are you doing?
- I have a plan.
Wait!
Come on. Let's go.
Okay.
- Ready?
- I'll be waiting.
That's my mom.
What?
Your Eminence.
Goddess of Gods.
I have built this temple
for you,
so that you might return
to Earth...
and together...
we...
We can rule the world.
Excuse me.
Uh...
P-pardon me.
Yeah, hi.
Uh...
Uh...
What do you call a fish
with no eyes?
A fsh...
Uh...
A whale...
There's two whales in a bar.
One of them goes:
And then the other one goes:
"Go home. You're drunk."
Uh...
- Okay.
- Uh...
So a grasshopper
walks into a bar...
and the bartender's like:
"We have a drink
named after you."
Then the grasshopper's like:
"You have a drink named Steve?"
Have you come
to offer yourself in sacrifice?
What?
Are you prepared to die?
No, I'm 12.
Are you?
Mom!
- Wait, wait. What's going on?
- Hey!
- What's happening? Where am I?
- It's okay.
- You were possessed.
- Possessed?
- Then you turned into a dog.
- Then you got humpy.
- Humpy?
- Hold on!
Oh, Phoebe. Phoebe.
There's this secret basement...
- We know.
- ...with computers and equipment.
- Isn't that place insane?
- Yes!
And it seemed
like he had a plan.
- We're aware.
- Oh. Oh.
And there were
all these photos of me.
Like he was tracking
my entire life.
- How rewarding.
- Super news.
We wanna hear about it.
Yeah, but we're trying
to save the world.
Okay. Cool. I'm in.
Uh, how can I help?
- No!
- What the hell was that?
- That was your boyfriend Gary.
- Boyfriend?
Inside that trap
is the Gatekeeper.
- Gatekeeper?
- If the Gatekeeper
and the Keymaster reunite...
- Keymaster?
- One second.
Phoebe.
You're... You're...
I'm a scientist.
- Oh. We got her!
- Yes!
This was Grandpa's plan.
Coming in hot!
Mom, come on!
Oh, my God.
- Get back. Get back.
- Mom.
- What's up?
- Hey.
No, no, no.
Pull the lever.
Pull...?
Aah!
Hey!
Come on,
what are you waiting for?
I'm waiting
for this thing to work!
- It's not working!
- Uh...
- Mom, hit the pedal!
- Pedal?
Lucky!
Podcast,
what are you doing?
I've got my own problems!
Oh, no.
No.
Hey, flattop.
Have you missed us?
Gozer the Gozerian...
...in the name of the county of
Summerville, state of Oklahoma,
the U.S. Fish
and Wildlife Service,
all the members
of Ducks Unlimited,
the Association for the
Advancement of Retired Persons,
I command you under the National
Invasive Species Act
to depart this world
immediately.
Bravo.
I think she remembers us.
Are you...
a god?
- Ray?
- Oh, come on, Ray.
Yes.
Yeah, we're all gods.
Yeah, I mean, we're all pretty
dang special down here.
On a personal note:
I thought that we had busted up
for good.
It wasn't working for me.
My friends didn't think so.
I know yours didn't.
Okay, playtime's over.
Let's toast this muffin.
Light them up.
Man, I love that sound.
On the count of three.
Go on "two." One. Two.
Yeah, nothing stings
like a billion electron volts!
Yes!
- Do you feel that?
- Yeah.
Uh-oh.
She's uncrossing
the streams!
- No!
- Oh!
Are they dead?
I don't remember
this job being so painful.
- I do.
- You got a lot of nerve.
Coming back here,
crawling back to me.
We could've been the most
spectacular power couple.
You know, my sense of fun
and your personality.
But, no, you always had
to vanquish and conquer.
Always had to maim somebody.
And that's probably
the number one reason why...
Good try, anyway.
Now we're finished, babe.
We're finished.
No.
Come on, Phoebe.
Holy shit.
We're on!
I thought
you might turn up.
I'm sorry...
I didn't believe you.
I should've called.
I miss you, my friend.
Are you okay?
- You scared the shit out of me.
- Mom.
I can't breathe.
Okay.
Hi there.
Pete Venkman
from the home office.
- Thanks for pitching in.
- You're welcome.
I like your style.
Who's that one?
Callie.
Callie Spengler.
- Spengler?
- Mm.
Weird name.
Try to make the best of that.
All right.
We're gonna have cocoa inside.
And some of us
will have rum with it.
Lucky!
- Oh.
- God. Hey. Hey, man.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I... Yeah.
My hands hurt
from galloping.
Oh, my God.
I totally thought I lost you.
Sorry about that.
Well, that was weird.
Mm-hm. Yeah.
I'm bleeding.
Why am I bleeding?
You headbutted a park bench.
- Oh, right. Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Um, back there, yeah.
- Yeah.
I mean, before we became dogs
and opened the gates of hell,
I think that maybe we, uh...
Yeah. Yeah, I think so too.
But then we saved the world,
so...
That's true.
Are you all right, son?
You just singlehandedly defeated
a manifestation of Gozer.
You gotta be on my podcast.
Sure. What's it called?
Mystical Tales
of the Unknown Universe.
M.T.U.U., that's you?
Wait.
You're my subscriber?!
Really found its voice
in the 46th episode.
What did they do to you?
Don't worry.
I'll take you home,
get you all cleaned up.
Go.
Hey.
Ghostbusters!
If there's something strange
In your neighborhood
Who you gonna call?
Ghostbusters!
If there's something weird
And it don't look good
Who you gonna call?
Ghostbusters!
I ain't 'fraid of no ghost
I ain't 'fraid of no ghost
If you're seeing things
Running through your head
Who can you call?
Ghostbusters!
An invisible man
Sleepin' in your bed
Ow, who you gonna call?
Ghostbusters!
I ain't 'fraid of no ghost
I ain't 'fraid of no ghost
Who you gonna call?
Ghostbusters!
If you're all alone
Pick up the phone
And call
Ghostbusters!
Tell me what this is.
Lines.
Two...
No, three...
wavy lines.
- It's amazing.
- You're amazing.
With your ability to...
flood my psychic powers.
I can't believe you used
to shock your students.
Between us,
I only zapped the guys.
Aah!
It was flawed science.
I know that now. I admit that.
Ready?
Try this one.
Take a moment.
Uh...
It's a five-pointed star.
- Yes?
- How are you doing that?
Some believe that true love
imbues a subject
with the ability...
Ah!
- Did you mark the cards?
- No.
You did, didn't you?
Yeah.
It works well.
You walk out the door
Then you want back in
The second it's cold outside
And you see
I've got something to give
And I'd give it to you
A hundred times over
Till you screwed me over
Just like the last time
Sayin':
"It was the last time"
I paid the price
Stayin' alone in my room
After what happened in June
Thinking I really loved you
And maybe I still do
But I think you're honestly
Something I needed to lose
No, it's not healthy
It doesn't help me
But I do it anyways
Lookin' at photos
Reading the letters
That you gave me
I could never
Throw them out
'Cause a ghost never leaves
A haunted house
A ghost never leaves
A haunted house
- I get reminiscent
- Oh
When somebody
Says your name
- Almost glad I miss it
- Oh
'Cause it's better than
Not feeling a single thing
Even after all the white lies
Empty goodbyes
All the tears
And all the times you weren't
There when I needed you to be
Hoping you're right where
You wanna be
Even if it's not with me
I know it's not healthy
It doesn't help me
But I do it anyways
Looking at photos
Reading the letters
That you gave me
I could never
Throw them out
'Cause a ghost never leaves
A haunted house
A ghost never leaves
A haunted house
A ghost never leaves
A haunted house
I think we're on
Our final scene
Keep us good
In all our memories
So I don't have to
Throw them out
A ghost never leaves
A haunted house
- I want you to take this.
- What is it?
It's a souvenir
from the World's Fair
at Flushing Meadow
in 1964.
It's my lucky coin.
I shouldn't take it.
We might not be coming back.
Take it anyway.
I got another one at home.
Egon was the brains.
Ray was the heart.
Peter just kept it cool.
Who were you?
The sex appeal.
You've done very well
for yourself.
A lot of shelf space.
See, that's the thing.
I don't do it for me.
I do it for my kids,
and I wanna be an example
of what's possible.
You still covering the rent
at Ray's bookshop?
Ray's gonna turn
a profit one of these days.
I
remember the day you came in.
I came in looking
for a steady paycheck.
But busting ghosts
with the guys...
taught me not to be afraid.
That I had the tools
and I had the talent.
I started this business
with one employee.
And I've grown it into
a thriving global enterprise.
I may be a businessman,
but I will always be
a Ghostbuster.