Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire (2024) Movie Script
1
Hah! Hah!
Hah! Hah!
Hah!
Hah! Hah!
It's freezing.
Nah, that doesn't sound good.
Bike, bike, bike, bike! Whoa!
So, a photon is checking
into a hotel.
Can we not do jokes
right now, please?
I feel like I'm gonna puke.
Whoa!
Red light! Red light!
The bellhop asks,
"Do you need help
with your luggage?"
To which the photon responds,
"No, thanks.
I'm traveling light."
Wow.
Hey, can we get some air going
back here? It's like a furnace.
No air.
Also no power.
Trev, we need power!
Can you not talk to me
like that, please?
-I'm 18 now. I'm an adult.
-Oh, come on.
-We're on a job, buddy.
-I'm not getting paid.
-Are you getting paid? Cool.
-No.
Does anyone else
feel exploited?
We're all being paid--
with memories.
Ow!
-Oh, you're fine.
-Oh.
Actually, guys, I'm fine.
Mom says I'm fine. Welcome.
Oh!
Wonderful news from the back
seat. The windows are stuck.
I can open a door.
-No, no, no. No!
-No, Pheebs, no. We said!
Not during rush hour.
No gunner seat.
Ugh. Gross.
It's the Hell's Kitchen
Sewer Dragon.
Hold on to your ass!
-I'm going out.
-Phoebe.
-What, Callie?
-I'm Mom. You call me Mom.
Call me Gary,
or whatever you want.
-I-I don't care.
-We're gonna lose him.
Phoebe Spengler,
you stay inside this car.
I have a ghost to bust.
All right. That was cool.
-Gary, come on.
-No, I know. I'm sorry.
It's just, the way she said it,
it sounded cool.
Get back in here!
I can't hear you
over the nuclear accelerator.
Whoa!
-Drop it!
-Okay. Maybe a "please."
I'm sweating bullets.
In pursuit.
Nah.
They got it.
These roads are screwed.
-Try driving a ten-ton hearse.
-I have.
And if you give me the keys,
-then maybe we...
-Not now, Trevor.
Now! Trevor!
Pop it, Trev!
-I'm out of range.
-On it.
Good luck, Mom.
Come on.
Later, gator.
Got it!
-You got it?
-Yeah! Got it!
-Yes!
-Yes! Yes!
Whoo!
Phoebe!
-Everyone okay?
-Oh, God.
Who puts bikes there?
The city ground
to a halt today
as a high-speed ghost chase
tore up
portions of Lower Manhattan.
Honestly, looking at this,
I'm surprised
nobody got killed.
We haven't seen
the Ghostbusters
cause this much damage since
the Statue of Liberty
debacle of 1989.
Last year, descendants of
original Ghostbusters founder
Egon Spengler
were handed the keys
to the derelict firehouse,
bankrolled by philanthropist
and former Ghostbuster
Winston Zeddemore.
And though it's been decades
since New Yorkers cheered...
Break out the new equipment!
The Nutrona Blaster charged!
...today's question
isn't, "Who you gonna call?"
It's, "Who's gonna pay
for this mess?"
Three lampposts,
two parked Priuses,
an entire fleet
of rental bikes.
That is a lot of damage.
Yeah, but you can't have
a Sewer Dragon
flying around SoHo
like it's Middle-earth.
You have someone hanging out
the side of a moving vehicle,
firing a laser gun
indiscriminately...
Laser gun? What?
That's a proton pack.
It's a weapon.
A weapon of science.
It's completely safe.
It's not completely safe.
It's a portable
proton accelerator.
How old are you?
I'm 18. I'm an adult.
I'm not talking to you. Her.
-Fifteen.
-A minor.
We don't let kids become cops,
we don't let them fight fires,
and we certainly don't let them
become Ghostbusters.
-Uh, Mister-Mister...
-Sir.
I-I'm sorry. Uh, Mr. Mayor,
m-may I approach the bench?
Do you see a robe?
I am not a judge.
Gary.
Uh, look, uh, y-you don't know
Phoebe Spengler like-like I do.
I mean, she is something else,
this kid.
Honestly, she's more focused,
more accomplished,
more capable than just about
any other adult I know.
And what exactly is your
relationship to this minor?
Are you her parent?
I mean...
Labels.
No, I'm her step-teacher.
Mr. Grooberson,
you are not her father.
You are her employer.
No, uh, we don't pay her.
Sounds like we can add
child labor
-to our list of violations.
-Uh...
-Gary.
-Yeah.
Maybe she can become
a junior Ghostbuster,
hand out stickers or something.
As for the rest of you,
I am personally holding you
responsible,
and I won't stop until
that firehouse you call a home
is a pile of bricks.
Mom?
The ceiling's leaking again.
Sounds like a fun mystery
for a boy detective.
Yeah, the mystery
of the black mold.
Super fun mystery,
and you're gone.
Awesome. Awesome.
-Flight suit.
-It's not fair.
Maybe you can spend the next few
years being an actual teenager.
Yeah, well,
if this was the 18th century,
then I'd already be
a part of the workforce
and I'd have four kids.
Aw. So I'd be a grandmother.
No, you would be dead.
So sweet.
A ghost grandma.
-Ooh, tacos.
-Ooh.
Hey, look what I found
for movie night.
Is that family friendly?
I hope not.
It's about a family--
a family that eats people.
They're sisters.
-Trap.
-If that counts for anything.
I'm gonna take this
to the labor board.
-On what grounds?
-I'm a Ghostbuster.
I saved the world.
Well, I like to think
we saved the world.
Hey, could you, uh,
watch my beans?
You were a possessed canine.
Ghost dog!
This is insane.
Man, they got into
the snacks again!
So you're gonna make me wait
till I'm 18?
Aw, it's just three years.
-Be young. Live a little.
-This is the time
in your life when it's okay to
screw up, make some mistakes.
Yeah, you have the rest of
your life to be a Ghostbuster.
Okay, well, three years
is nothing for you guys.
It's a tiny, negligible
percentage of your lifespan.
-She means we're old.
-Yeah, I got that.
You're not the only
Spengler here, you know.
Okay, well, this is my calling.
You just, like, decided
to be a Ghostbuster.
So did I.
I mean, I was studying
earthquakes in Oklahoma.
Then I went to dinner
with your mom and...
...we turned into dogs.
And fulfilled
an ancient prophecy
that almost brought about
the end of the world.
Now, that's a first date.
We both got some action.
-Yeah, we did.
-Okay, gross.
For you, I get it--
you're a scientist--
but... she's just...
Choose your next words
very carefully.
I didn't think
she even knew those words.
You could've backed me up.
It's great you're their buddy,
but sometimes you need
to be an asshole.
Well, is that really my place?
I hope so.
I... You know.
I want to be more
than just their buddy.
I just don't know
what's allowed.
Permission granted.
Okay. Great.
Although I got to warn you,
I mean, I can be scary.
Yeah, you're a monster.
You have no i...
Don't look at me that way.
You laugh... Hey!
You laughing in my face?!
I'm so sorry.
That was really bad.
I-I scare myself sometimes.
I'll be nice to you.
I'll just be an asshole
to your kids.
That's what I want.
All right, who's hungry?
Is the containment unit okay?
Come on, there's always room
for one more ghost.
When the...
when the light is green...
Come on!
When the light is green...
The trap is clean.
We're rolling in three, two...
Greetings, ethereal beings,
subhuman entities
and spectral forms
from the great beyond
and any living humans
who may be watching.
Welcome to "Repossessed,"
the show where we measure
the spiritual energy
of everyday objects.
I'm your host,
Dr. Raymond Stantz.
My, uh, young producer-intern
reminds me to ask you
that if you like
what you see here,
-please push...
-Like.
-Like... and subscribe.
-And subscribe.
Now, who do we have here?
Oh.
I brought my late husband
Harold's watch.
He wore it every day.
And now when I walk
in the room...
it beeps.
Well, any object
that's been exposed
to a deep emotional experience
can bind a spirit.
I see.
An organic ghost trap,
if you will.
The stronger the experience
or even trauma,
the more powerful the trap.
-Wow.
-The way we detect this energy
is with one of these babies.
Oh, thank you.
-If there's anything there...
-Mm-hmm.
...this item will detect it.
Harold, beep for the nice man.
Are you getting anything?
I'm sorry, ma'am,
but it seems that
your dearly departed spirit has
left this earthly dimension.
Sorry, lady.
The hammer gets the views.
He was gone anyway. Next!
I'm telling you,
it's gonna be
another hot one out there.
In fact...
-Hey, Dr. Ray.
-Phoebe!
-Hot one.
-Yeah.
Um, here's the sample
of mood slime you requested.
Oh. Put it downstairs.
Here, I'll show you.
So, you're, like,
sleeping down here?
Yeah. Normally,
Ray rents this place
to Norwegian ghost hunting
clubs on Booking.com,
and I just got lucky.
It sure beats another
boring summer in Dorklahoma.
So, catch anything crazy
lately?
Anything try to bite
your arm off,
like Class Five, Class Seven?
No, I've been benched.
Oh, hold on.
Mm. I told my parents
I was at Space Camp.
We are go for launch.
T-minus 15,
14, 13, 12...
Hi.
Hi.
Orbit. I'll talk to you guys
later. Love you. Bye.
...seven, six...
Yeah.
-What are you doing?
-It's a nightmare.
Ray smuggled them back
from Summerville.
I'm pretty sure they're mating.
Disgusting.
That's odd.
You the weird guy
who buys strange old things?
Yeah, correct on both counts.
Buddy, you just hit
the jackpot.
This is all stuff
from my grandmother's.
And it was passed down to her,
so it's, like, ancient-ancient.
Was she a believer?
Well, she believed
a lot of demented
and superstitious stuff,
if that's what you mean.
My kind of gal.
I've learned it's always best
to knock every piece of wood
and throw a coin
into every fountain.
You just never know.
Well, I think you lose
a lot of coins that way.
-That's interesting stuff.
-It sure is.
30 for the whole lot?
This one's nice.
Oh.
Hmm.
Oh, the glyphs on this.
Oh, yeah. The glyph one.
You know your stuff, man.
That's the special piece
in there.
Actually, it's in there
by mistake.
I can't part with it...
for less than 50 bucks.
Mezzo-Arabic?
Yeah. Mezzo-Arabic.
Very unique.
Sixty.
These kinds of brass objects
were used to trap evil spirits.
Oh, you think there's
something inside it?
No clue.
If there is something trapped
in here,
you can bet
it's for a good reason.
Definitely.
I'm gonna take a PKE reading.
Psychokinetic energy meter.
May I do that?
Thank you for asking.
So many places do that
without asking.
Oh.
Instant reaction.
Whoa. Whoa.
Are you above the subway line?
Off-the-chart
telekinetic energy!
Full-bore convective spatter!
You took the words
right out of my mouth.
I'll take the works.
Sorry, I don't have change.
Are you okay?
Okay. Okay. Okay.
I'm telling you,
I mean, this...
This wasn't here before.
It shook the whole place.
Has anyone ever emptied
this containment unit?
Where, Gary? The East River?
So you've just been stuffing
ghosts in there since 1984?
That's the idea.
All right.
Well, maybe not the best idea.
I'll let Winston's engineers
know about this.
Hey, by the way,
about Winston's engineers.
Um, who are they?
Oh, that's not for me to say.
No, but what are they
working on?
Is it supersecret underground
ghostbusting stuff?
That's right, Gary.
Supersecret underground
ghostbusting stuff.
I knew it.
Ugh.
Mom!
Mom.
There's something in the attic.
You're an adult, right?
Yeah.
Then why don't you
take care of it?
Okay.
Yeah, sure. I will.
I will take care of it.
Do that right now.
Ow.
You picked
the wrong house, bro.
What the actual hell?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Yeah.
-Be safe.
-Thanks.
Where do you think
you're going?
You're seriously not taking me?
-Don't look at him.
-I, uh...
-Gary.
-Thanks for the support.
-Sorry.
-What happened to you?
It's nothing.
I can handle it.
Did you shower,
or is that product?
What? I'm a Ghostbuster.
Ha-ha. Very funny.
Boo.
Oh.
Uh, hey.
You know I'm a ghost, right?
Kind of figured
when the chess pieces
started moving on their own.
And you're not...
terrified of me?
No. Should I be?
I just think it's kind of weird.
I mean, usually,
people run by now.
I can leave if you want.
No, I'm not saying
you have to go.
If you want to, like,
float away again,
-I can pretend that I'm scared.
-No, I-I'm not saying...
Still weird.
Nice flames, by the way.
Thanks.
Yeah, I burned alive
in a horrifying tenement fire.
Guess you're lucky that
you're not all crispy.
I died before
my face melted off.
That's a bonus.
Checkmate.
What? I-I don't understand.
I-I can tell.
Hey, don't take it too hard.
I've had a lot of time
to practice.
So, you got a name?
Phoebe.
I'm Melody.
-Cool name.
-Thanks. It was a family name.
I was being sarcastic.
I kind of like you.
What's the worst part
about being a ghost?
I'll be 16
for the rest of eternity.
Yikes. No matter what?
Unless I...
Complete
my unfinished business.
Then what is the best part?
Doing this.
Um, do you mind just...
Yeah.
So you're
one of Winston's guys, huh?
-Gary.
-Hmm? Sorry.
Does that help you
hear the ghosts?
Oh, what helps me listen
to the ghosts is silence.
Sorry.
Okay. All right,
is something trying to get out?
Many things.
Is this my dad's handwriting?
His design.
The containment unit is
essentially a large ghost trap.
That was Egon Spengler's
great vision.
An articulated stream
of protons
that could stabilize
the particles of a ghost.
-Are you following this?
-Yeah, of course I am.
After 40 years of compiling
spiritual waste...
You ran out of space.
Well, didn't anybody
see this coming?
It was the '80s.
Nobody was too worried
about the future.
Then this happened.
This momentary burst
of spiritual energy
created a rift.
It's a potential gateway
to the other side.
The other side?
Are we talking about...
I don't know
what we're talking about.
That's what scares me.
Look, we didn't just buy
the firehouse for nostalgia.
This building
is the finger in the dam.
It's the fortification between
everything we do
and don't understand.
We have to protect it.
O-Okay,
so the ghost compactor broke.
Can't you guys
just build a new one?
What-what do you mean?
What do you mean,
"what do you mean?"
Don't they know?
We already have.
While
you've been out busting ghosts,
my engineers have been
thinking about our future.
Once upon a time, this was
the Triborough Aquarium.
Most recently, it's been
more of a squatters' paradise
and rave venue.
Welcome to
the Paranormal Research Center.
Ghostbusting asks
a lot of questions,
and now we have a place
to find the answers.
We have a parabotanist.
We even have
a paramusicologist.
Hey, Lucky!
Lucky!
-Trevor?
-Hey! You're here.
Uh, when you said
you were interning,
I didn't know you'd be
blowing stuff away with lasers.
I know, right?
Just a little upgrade.
Of course, you all know Lars,
our resident parabiologist.
Oh, no way.
I used to have one of these.
Mind your fingers.
It's possessed
by an evil Spin Doctors CD.
Ray Stantz has generously
provided us with a collection
of spirit-loaded items.
So, everything
in this place is haunted?
Indeed.
Look, here's a rare find.
This grandfather clock
is inhabited by the spirit
of an actual grandfather.
Any emotionally charged object
can contain a ghost,
as long as it's experienced
some sort of horrific event.
By exciting the atoms,
we're able to create
a fluid moment
of chemical transition.
Then we simply lock
onto the spirit...
...extract it
from its host object...
...and then lovingly deposit it
into our second chamber...
...so it can be
properly disposed of.
Have you made any attempts
on living possession?
Oh, w-we're still tweaking.
Now, I didn't want
to show it until it was ready,
but this is what
I brought you here to see.
Our new containment unit,
based on Egon's
original design.
It can spin the equivalent
of 50 million cubic hectares
of plasmic confinement.
A psychic jail as big
as the American West.
"Home on the Strange."
Oh. Where the specters
and entities play.
-Where the...
-Yeah.
How long would it take
to move the ghosts
from the firehouse to here?
If we went trap by trap
on regular shifts,
it could take anywhere between
three to seven years.
Oh, so...
so soon-ish.
Oh, I almost forgot.
We don't exactly know
what it is,
but it broke the PKE meter.
Good luck extracting
whatever's inside it.
Fun.
Yeah, we're still
workshopping names.
Uh, I personally like
the Little Ball of Hate
or Devil's Testicle.
Thank you, Podcast.
Yeah. You're welcome.
What's in here?
Wait, do you keep ghosts
just hanging out in here?
We spent a long time
trapping them.
Now we can study them.
Why don't they escape?
-Barrier of proton fields.
-Precisely.
It's the same technology
as in your packs.
We use it
in all the enclosures.
-Oh.
-He's cute.
-Yeah.
-Hey, buddy.
Now, this one is the most
threatening pest
in the whole complex.
Possessor.
This spry little weasel
can occupy any inanimate matter
it wants.
Extremely dangerous.
Hey.
You're good.
Pheebs.
Am I doing something wrong?
It's not working.
Can you help me?
The cyclotron isn't... cycling.
Can you help me out?
Whoa.
You fixed it.
Literally just unplugged.
I know it sucks right now.
I-I do.
But it's just temporary.
And time flies by.
I promise you. I should know.
Two years ago,
I was in Oklahoma,
and now I'm here...
with a proton pack.
I was your
science teacher, and now I'm...
Well, now I'm...
And I'm your, um...
We got a call downtown!
Trev, let's go!
Sorry.
Hello? Anybody there?
Gh-Ghostbusters.
Oh, good.
We need someone right away.
All right.
We're back, baby.
Ghostbusters are back.
Back in the big city.
Back in the Big Apple.
Gonna take a bite
out of the Big Apple.
Phoebe, Podcast.
Podcast and Phoebe.
Can't keep us apart.
Dynamic duo.
What are we catching tonight?
Can't play right now.
I know you see me working.
If you're good, later on,
you'll get a tennis ball.
Let's see
what you've got in you.
Something wrong?
I think it's
fighting extraction.
Not for this long. The...
-Uh...
-Okay.
-Small thing.
-Uh-huh.
Need to wait for the generators
to warm back up.
Until then...
the proton fields are down.
Okay. Uh...
Do you hear that?
Lars. Why haven't the ghosts
escaped yet?
Okay, we need to shut
that thing up.
This is the place.
Yeah.
They better have baklava.
Hi.
You here for the ghost?
Boo.
Phoebe?
-Uh...
-Blast it.
"It"?
-Phoebe, what are you doing?
-Who's the third wheel?
Why are you just
standing there? Fire!
Uh...
What are you doing?!
-You missed!
-Oh!
-If... I have great aim.
-Cool.
And if I wanted to hit you,
then I would've, but I didn't.
-Right.
-If it...
If it makes you
feel better, I guess.
Yeah, I just feel, like,
a warm rush of relief.
Oh.
Phew.
So...
do you want to hang out?
You're inviting me in?
Um, sure. Yeah.
You're inviting me inside
your ghost extermination
headquarters?
Uh, yeah, no, it's fine.
I see how that could be weird.
It's cool. You don't have to...
Nice digs.
You can transapparate?
Oh, is that what I just did?
Yeah, I do that.
How do you touch
the chess pieces if...?
Basically, I exist on
an entirely different
dimensional plane.
You wouldn't get it.
I get it.
I love dimensional planes.
I've always wanted to visit
a different dimensional plane.
I don't know why
I said that. I...
So, like, is the rest
of this place this cool or...?
That's our car.
And...
this is my locker.
That's my name.
Oh, uh, that's where we...
I know what this is.
Have you ever wondered
what happens...
...when we're all done here?
I mean, I've seen it.
Yeah, I mean, it's...
it's really beautiful,
actually.
I mean, your particles start
to lose their bonds
and float off into space.
Then what?
Quantum physics suggests
that we become
a part of the fabric
of the universe.
Do you believe that?
I mean, I believe
in quantum physics.
Duh.
Sounds cool.
Maybe I'll be able
to check it out someday.
When you cross
to the other side?
Yeah.
That's where my family is.
Why can't you join them?
If I knew,
I'd already be there.
Is, uh, that your object?
My what?
It's like an emotionally
charged anchor
that keeps us tethered
to this world.
Well, the last match burned
my family alive, so...
Yeah, well, that'll do it.
No, it was an accident.
-Oh, I...
-I used to think
these matches were
some sort of key to moving on,
but I've gotten used to the idea
that I'm not going anywhere.
-I'm sorry.
-Pheebs?
You okay down there?
Um...
Uh, I'll be right up.
I'm going as fast as I can.
Does it have to be her?
I understand.
Hey, pal.
Got some Cheetos for you.
You can come on out.
I'm only gonna shoot you
in the face.
Come on.
That's it.
Huh? The hell?
Phoebe?
-You okay?
-Yeah.
Basement. Now.
Can you explain this?
No, I can't.
-Cool.
-Empirically.
Approaching the mythically cold
temperature of absolute zero,
the degree at which
all particles stop.
Zero kelvin.
The suspension of life itself.
Exquisite.
If you like that...
you're gonna love this.
Ever since you brought in
this lethal snow cone,
the other ghosts have been
acting peculiar.
We think it's communicating.
So the orb's kind of chatty?
Not the orb itself
but whatever lies within it.
We think it's commanding
the other ghosts
with some sort of mind control.
All right.
-Wow.
-Oh.
Extreme thermodynamic
"exutions,"
thought transference...
This little cutie gets out,
no telling how dangerous
it could be.
Where the hell did you guys
get this thing?
Hey, man.
-Hey.
-Are you Nadeem Razmaadi?
Maybe.
Did you recently sell
a collection
of family artifacts
to Ray Stantz?
-That money's gone.
-Wait.
Uh, we're not looking
for a refund. We...
Come on in.
I got a bunch of other stuff
for sale.
I am a licensed third-party
reseller of sneakers.
-What's your shoe size, my man?
-Uh, ten.
I don't have any tens.
Can you squeeze into an eight?
-No, probably not.
-Is this your bachelor pad?
This was my dadi's place--
my grandmother's.
Hmm.
Nipple stuff.
-Iconic.
-Oh, yeah.
That was my dadi's
favorite painting.
I can't really part with it.
What's your offer?
What was
your grandmother's deal?
We weren't really that close.
She said I was unambitious.
But, really,
who's the brave one, huh?
The brother who goes
to engineering school
or the one who forges ahead
with no education
or future prospects?
The second one.
-Right? Yeah.
-Yes. Absolutely.
Yeah, I think that all the time.
Yep. Me, too. I also think
that all the time.
Hundred percent. It's heroic.
Yeah, we're curious about
a particular object.
Brass orb.
Hurts when touched.
Oh, yeah, that came from my
grandmother's special back room
where she keeps
all the really good stuff.
But I'm not supposed to take
anybody back there, so...
Whoa.
Nice sex dungeon.
-Okay, dadi.
-Not a sex dungeon.
Would a sex dungeon
have these chains?
-Yeah, definitely.
-Yeah.
As soon as I said it,
I realized it would.
Seriously,
what'd she do in here?
I don't know. I found
this room after she died
while I was looking
for some Pop-Tarts.
All this stuff is for sale, too,
by the way.
-Is this brass or copper, Lars?
-Brass.
Once believed to be
a magical alloy.
There are countless tales
of demons trapped
in brass urns and lamps,
going all the way back
to the time of Solomon.
Sick outfit.
Whoa. You guys hear that?
No echo, no anything.
It's like... it's like
a dead room in here.
So she could be as loud
as she wanted.
Please stop.
Please stop making sex jokes
about my recently deceased
grandmother.
The brass orb--
it was always kept in here?
Far as I know.
Is it possible she wanted
to keep it quiet?
What does that mean?
It means you're coming with us.
Dr. Ray?
-Yes, Phoebe?
-I think that somebody left
a rotting carrot
on one of your shelves.
Oh, that's a human pinkie.
Picked that up
at the old State Hospital
for the Criminally Insane
in Pennsylvania-- haunted.
And we had no equipment
back then.
-Um...
-We...
Actually, I had a question
I wanted to ask you.
Have you ever...
wondered what it would be like
to be a ghost?
Every day of my life, dear.
-Really?
-Sure.
I mean,
how I would materialize.
What's that feel like?
Would it be some kind
of a visual manifestation?
I mean, if something's...
What is that?
Oh, um, I was just watching
a video I shot of the orb.
I think the audio's
corrupted or something.
It's all weird. Here.
Check it out.
Ancient verbiage, um...
Yeah, but what language?
A dead one.
I know a guy who could help us.
But...
Should we investigate?
Mm, we could.
Aren't you benched?
Aren't you retired?
Oh.
You gonna take that from her?
Hold still.
What's this?
It's just
a garden-variety test:
Are you... a human?
You should be able
to pass it easily
unless you are possessed
by a cross-dimensional beast.
Right, just a couple human
beings having a conversation.
One of them has a pasta pot
strapped to his head.
Let's start off
with a layup, okay?
Puppies.
Love them or kill them?
I love them?
That's one correct.
Okay. Great.
Yes, but that was very easy.
Have you ever experienced
dj vu?
No.
Okay.
Have you ever experienced...
Dj vu?
That's pretty good.
Ow!
What was that?
Don't throw any more pens
at me, dude.
That made you angry, did it?
Yeah, it made me angry, did it.
Hypothetical: You're about
to devour a small child.
Would you prefer skin on
or skinless?
Okay. I'm not...
This interview is over.
I'm not gonna answer that.
-Refuse to answer that? Okay.
-No, no, no. I'm not refusing.
Okay. I'll do it. I'll do it.
Is it a human child?
Are there other kinds
of children?
Are you thinking
of a specific child?
Is this child related to me?
-Would that be necessary?
-No, it's not necessary.
You're the one
who brought it up.
I don't want to eat any...
I told you to stop
throwing pens at me.
I'm sorry. It's a perfectly
normal reaction!
Oh, oh! Don't! Okay! Okay!
What are you staring at?!
Did I pass?
Dr. Stantz, I don't think that
this is a legal parking space.
Ah, they know me here.
Did you know
these two regal kittens
actually have names?
You have Patience
and Fortitude.
Ah, no! Dr. Stantz!
No, you are forbidden
from coming within
50 feet of this library.
Good to see you, buddy.
Been a long time, huh?
Hi.
Excuse us.
It's not Essenic.
It's not Chaldean.
It ain't French.
This is pre-Sumerian.
This is pre-Sanskrit.
Well, what does it mean?
Five people in the world
can understand these words.
Whi... which means
my colleague Dr. Jahangiri
put you up to this.
Jahangiri's already dead.
-What?!
-No. Your colleague's...
-Your colleague's fine.
-Sorry.
What the fudge
is wrong with you?
Listen, this language has been
dead for thousands of years.
How did you get this recording?
Do you believe
in spiritual inhabitation?
Spectral possession?
Look, there's a reason
I'm down here in the basement.
I'm the library folklorist.
I'm also the tristate treasurer
of the H.P. Lovecraft Society,
so...
Do I believe in spirits?
Yes, I believe in spirits.
I believe
in self-winding clocks
and the singing cheeses
of Copenhagen.
Please continue.
All right.
The ancient chants you heard
came from
this mysterious object.
It's about the size
of a boccie ball.
Come with me to the library.
Are we not in the library?
Upstairs is just for show.
Gilded research rooms
where struggling actors
can Twitch-stream
and buy crypto.
The old library is below.
-Welcome to the old library.
-Whoa.
That object of yours--
its last recorded sighting...
...wasn't photographed,
and it wasn't painted.
It was carved in stone.
Whoa.
Recognize anything?
There's your orb.
What is it?
Well, the better question is:
What's inside of it?
What's inside of it?
Excellent question.
Probably sand.
But if you believe
the folklore--
and I always believe
the folklore--
that orb is a magical prison
for a phantom god
called Garraka.
See, 4,000 years ago,
Garraka served
a bloodthirsty king
called Samudari.
You know, from the Battle
of the Seven Armies,
et cetera, et cetera.
After Garraka helped conquer
half of Central Asia,
the king grew suspicious
of his ambitions.
Garraka was captured, branded,
broken and disfigured.
His horns, the source
of his greatest strength,
were, like, ripped
off his head.
Nasty stuff.
I love it. No notes.
But Garraka didn't take
too kindly to that
and went on a bit
of a murder bender.
His plan was to raise an army
of the undead
and wage war on humanity by
channeling fear into a weapon.
Kusharit Umoti.
The Death Chill.
The power to kill
by fear itself.
A cold shiver runs
down your spine.
Your veins turn
to rivers of ice.
Your bones crack.
Your lungs cave.
And the last thing you see
is your own tear ducts
freezing up.
It's so cool.
Anyhoo, before Garraka
could collapse
the collective bronchial tubes
of greater South Asia,
he finally met his match.
His icy spell was shattered
by a roving band
of mythical spirit catchers
called the Firemasters,
who used fire and brass
to trap the evil god
inside of an orb.
The very orb you now possess.
Kind of like Ghostbusters.
Yeah.
If you're willing to entertain
a little historical gossip...
These are wax cylinders.
19th-century audio recordings.
Our collection is bonkers.
Here.
Mary Todd Lincoln
using the f-word.
Apparently, she saw a moth.
But the one I think you'll be
most interested in is...
this one.
See, back in the Gilded Age
of our fair metropolis,
there was this group
of rich assholes called
the Manhattan
Adventurers Society.
They would steal relics
and artifacts.
They'd get together.
They'd enjoy them
with their Beaujolais
and a couple of hookers.
Real colonial loot fest
kind of stuff.
Anyway, one night,
they took out
a particularly rare relic,
the Orb of Garraka.
And then they played
this chant,
which opened the orb.
For the first time
in New York history,
a room full of people
froze to death
in the middle of July.
Uh...
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
It's the Possessor!
He's got the chant! Stop him!
Stop that bag!
-Excuse us!
-Wh-- Hey!
-Move, move, move!
-No running!
Go left!
Get it!
Keep your eyes on it!
Shh.
Excuse me.
What the hell was that?
Oh, Possessor ghost.
Master of concealment
and disguise.
Now it'll be
impossible to find.
Oh, oh, there it is.
Well, that's a close one.
You don't want that
getting away.
-Give me a boost, will you?
-Oh, yeah. Okay.
I got you.
Oh, my God.
Dr. Ray!
The bike! Push the button!
Uh...
-Press the button!
-There's too many buttons!
Oh!
Come on!
Yes!
-Podcast, do something!
-I-I'm trying!
Come on!
-Hurry up! Push the button!
-I'm trying...
Hands where we can see 'em!
Step forward.
The lions, Phoebe.
They're iconic.
People love them.
They make kids want
to visit the library.
Do you know how hard it is
to get kids to visit
the library?
I love the library.
Then why did you shoot
Fortitude in the face?
I was doing my job.
You don't have a job!
Magnifique!
My compliments to the chef.
As far as fiascos go,
this was just dynamite.
One would think, though,
you'd have a little more respect
for the public library,
you being such a bookworm.
-Why don't you just back off.
-I just want to thank her.
For what?
For 40 years, I've been waiting
to say these words.
The Ghostbusters are finished.
Your firehouse
has been condemned.
Your packs are
in a police lockup.
They'll be melted down
for scrap by morning.
And just wait until
I get ahold of your car.
Now, just hold on here...
The last time you tried
to shut us down,
you created a crossrip
into another dimension.
Watch out, kiddo.
That sounds a lot like slander.
That's a crime punishable
with time in prison.
So let me ask you,
Miss Spengler,
are you going to behave,
or do I need
to have you arrested?
Well, we really thought
you were gonna choose "behave."
Sure, I get it. You're upset.
Can we just get to the part
where you ground me
and move on?
Oh, you're not grounded.
You're fired.
Honestly,
if you weren't a Spengler,
you'd be answering our phones.
-Excuse me?
-Don't talk to her like that.
Are you serious?
I'm very serious.
She's your mom.
Being a Spengler
doesn't make you a genius.
It just makes you
part of this family.
Are you even a part
of this family?
-Phoebe.
-It's...
Yeah. I get it. Fair enough.
But maybe if you weren't
being so selfish,
you might notice that your mom,
your brother and I
have been doing everything
to try and protect you,
so wake up!
Sucks, doesn't it?
What the
hell were you thinking?
You don't get it.
There was a wax cylinder.
-There was chanting.
-You do realize what kind
of trouble you've gotten
yourself into today?
The gramophone handle
was turning by its...
Ray, shut up!
Shut up. Ray.
Geez.
We're too old for this.
Zedd, I...
I don't know what our age
has to do with this.
There was, uh, chanting
coming out of that cylinder.
-Ray.
-It's a trigger.
-It's a catalyst. It's a key.
-You could've got yourself hurt.
You could've got
those kids hurt.
Geez, Ray.
Take a vacation, okay?
Go visit some old ruins
or something.
I don't know, sit your ass
on a beach somewhere.
A little color
wouldn't kill you.
Ray, this is supposed to be
our golden years.
Winston...
this is the way I want
to spend my golden years.
This is what I love.
I know. I know.
Me, too.
But you need to find a new way
to do the things you love
before it kills you.
Pheebs.
Oh, man.
They stole our gear.
"Civil forfeiture," I believe,
is the terminology.
-Stop it! Fire pole?
-Oh, yeah.
You really got to try
that thing, dude.
Who is he?
Oh, I'm Nadeem.
I'm a potential deep well
of psychokinetic energy
and quite possibly possessed.
Can I try the fire pole?
Yeah. Knock your socks off.
Is this the last night
in the firehouse?
I don't know.
Hey.
So this is it, huh?
I'm used to being on the move.
I'm good at it.
I don't know.
I'd kind of like to stay
and fight for this place.
It's not our place.
Of course it is.
We can't leave.
I mean...
If there's something strange
in the neighborhood...
...who are they gonna call?
If there's something weird
and it don't look good...
-...who-who you gonna call?
-Ghostbusters.
What? I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, what was that?
-Ghostbusters.
-Ghostbusters.
This is the home
of the Ghostbusters.
We're the Ghostbusters.
Can I tell you something else?
It's important.
What?
-Busting makes me feel good.
-No.
-No. Get out.
-It makes...
Holy crap!
This place is trashed.
I'm trying to get
a reading in here, please.
-What happened here?
-Okay, look...
Such a disaster.
What have you done?
This is a very sensitive area.
Oh, it is freezing.
Yeah, well,
maybe it wouldn't be freezing
if a certain someone
had left his grandmother's orb
in her room where it belongs.
Wait, I'm confused.
You're saying this is my fault?
Here's the deal.
Your grandmother was
guardian of the orb,
the last line of defense
against Garraka.
Now it's your turn.
You are the Firemaster.
Ooh, that's dramatic.
I like that.
It's not a joke, man.
For thousands of years,
your family
has selflessly guarded
the world
from an unimaginable evil.
Now, either she didn't
tell you about it
-or you weren't listening.
-Could've been either.
We had
a complicated relationship.
Instead, you come into my shop,
try to sell your heritage--
your birthright-- for 50 bucks.
You should be ashamed
of yourself.
Who are you? Who's that?
You are the Firemaster.
It's time for you
to claim your destiny, son.
Light the candle.
I think we both know
that's impossible.
Son, I stopped believing
in that word a long time ago.
What if you were
humanity's last hope?
Dude, I've never been
anyone's only hope.
I went to senior prom as
a backup for someone's brother.
You may not choose
to believe it,
but there are many stories
of people
with inexplicable gifts,
going back eons.
The strength of Samson,
the speed of Achilles.
Perfect pitch, sick dance moves.
Even pyrokinesis.
So...
light the candle.
Light the candle?
Just like that?
I just do that...
What?
Oh.
Indus literature speaks
of a sacred fire,
a smokeless flame,
like the kind Moses saw
on Mount Horeb
when he encountered
the burning bush.
Like the kind the demon djinn
brought forth
from the seven earths,
that flowed through the hair
of Sambo-Kojin,
the Japanese god of the hearth.
That same sacred power exists
in your fingertips.
Wow.
Oh.
Light the candle.
It's his first time.
I think we're all going to die.
Phoebe?
Um, can I come in?
I just wanted to talk to you
about what happened
at the police station.
Uh, because I-I know
that was rough.
And, um...
but, you know, you know,
life is rough.
L-Life is unpredictable
and crazy and...
Doors close. Friends change.
But, uh... but family is...
...is the one thing
that's there no matter what.
You know, uh...
Sometimes they're not even
your actual blood relatives.
They're just...
They're the people
that remind you
you have a home.
Anyway, I think you're great.
I think you're really great.
I'm really glad
we had this talk.
I don't know, every time I do
what I think is right,
they just come down on me like
I'm screwing everything up.
-That's ridiculous.
-I know.
What?
Just sucks that the only person
who gets me is...
a ghost.
Yeah. It's too bad we exist on
different dimensional planes.
Separated by quantum physics.
It's always something.
I mean, there is a way for me
to be a ghost for a bit.
But it's-it's experimental.
And you wouldn't want
to risk it.
It's not lethal.
That's a plus.
Just requires a little bit
of light breaking and entering
and some advanced science.
I mean, I wouldn't want to
get you into any more trouble.
What else can they do to me?
What is that thing?
It's an ionic separator.
It'll allow us
to temporarily exist
on the same dimensional plane.
My spirit will be separated
from my body
for only two minutes.
Then I'll regain consciousness.
Boo.
What's wrong?
I'm sorry.
For what?
A human voice is the key.
But Garraka
can't control humans.
Only ghosts.
And now he can control you.
Garraka's the only one that can
open the door to the other side.
It's my only chance.
My only chance
to see my family again.
Maybe one day,
you'll understand.
Your world will shatter.
Bones and ice.
My empire will rise.
Hey, asshole.
Lucky!
-Phoebe?
-Over here.
Phoebe. Are you okay?
-She ghost-walked.
-What?
Her spirit separated
from her body.
-Oh, my God, you're freezing.
-I tried to stop it.
-I couldn't.
-No, it's okay.
No, you're okay.
That's all that matters.
-We're in trouble. We're...
-No, you're not in trouble.
-You're not in trouble.
-She's right.
We're all in big trouble.
Yeah,
just give me a minute.
Just, uh, finishing this up.
I'll be right with you.
Are you the Firemaster?
Yeah, man, read the damn sign.
-I love that.
-What is that?
Should we call this one in?
Yeah, call this one in.
Taxi!
It's okay if you guys hate me.
We don't hate you.
We were worried about you.
We didn't know where you were.
You could've been killed.
I trusted somebody
that I shouldn't have.
I just feel stupid.
It's okay to feel stupid.
Some of the smartest people
I know are morons.
Yeah, and I told you
to make mistakes.
Yeah, not release
a monstrous deity.
Maybe next time, get a tattoo.
Or try shoplifting.
Hey, that'd be fun.
Yeah. Okay.
Hey.
Are you ready
to be a Spengler again?
Good, 'cause we need you.
Yeah.
Phoebe.
-How did Garraka get out?
-Doesn't matter.
It's coming right for us,
and it's really bad out there.
Wh-Who's coming right for us?
Typical manifestation of evil.
Ender of worlds,
that kind of thing.
Garraka's coming
for the containment unit
to recruit every ghost
in the tank we've ever caught.
We can't allow that to happen.
He'll have a veritable
army of ghosts.
-Army of ghosts?
-Guys, it's okay. We're fine.
Look, we're good. Calm down.
We have the Firemaster.
Do the thing.
This is really great.
You're gonna love it.
Okay,
just like we practiced.
Huh?
-Huh?
-Yes!
-Great.
-Huh?
Great.
Where are our proton packs?
New packs.
Suit up.
Get to the roof, all right?
Just shoot anything
that looks terrifying.
But I already threw
a proton stream at that thing.
-It didn't even flinch.
-How is that possible?
It's an ancient god
from another dimension.
Who's to know
its atomic composition?
-Dr. Ray?
-Yeah?
Copper can conduct
an electrical field
like the one in our colliders.
Yeah, but there's no copper
left in the firehouse.
Stripped by vagrants
in the '90s.
Well, then what about brass?
Brass.
Especially if it's
psychically charged.
Our proton
packs use nickel and zinc
as primary drivers
for spectral agitation.
But Garraka is different.
The ancient ghost trappers
used brass to trap him.
If I brass-plate
the components of my pack,
it could give us a chance.
Switch me on.
Wow, he managed
a faster decay of split time
and narrowed
the stream intensification.
Terrific new improvements.
Let's get to work.
Here we go.
-Can I be of any help?
-Son of a bitch.
-Venkman.
-You got to be kidding me.
Home sweet home.
Melnitz in uniform.
Looking sporty.
Oh.
Courage, anyone?
No, no, no, no, no,
I don't like that.
-What do you see up there?
-A trike.
-Tell them it's a trike.
-A what?
A kid's tricycle
rolling down the street
-on its own.
-No, no. Possessor.
-Possessor.
-You need to get down here now.
Yeah.
What's going on?
Oh, it's really bad.
The world's ending.
Do not go up there.
-How's it going?
-Oh, terrible.
Okay,
just keep practicing, man.
We got your back.
Could one of the adults
also come and help?
Whoa!
It's possessed!
Run!
Whoa!
Oh, my God.
Oh.
Gave me the fright of my life.
I thought you were
one of the big, scary ones.
How'd you get
all the way up here?
Ooh, paper.
That's random.
Lucky!
Lucky, are you okay?
Oh, shit.
Trevor!
You're doing it!
This is awesome!
I know that guy!
I am a god.
Where's Phoebe?
Good luck.
So, was any of it real?
Yeah. I actually did
beat you at chess.
I never wanted to hurt you.
I just wanted
to see my family again.
Well, my family's up there now.
We still have time
to stop this.
It's too late.
He's here.
Phoebe? Phoebe!
Heads up.
Tall, dark and horny
at 12 o'clock.
Ah!
Garraka can't help you move on.
You have to do that yourself.
Don't let him get
to the basement!
How?
Well, being nice didn't work.
-Let's try this.
-Light 'em up!
I tried to tell you guys
our throwers are useless.
Hold on, hold on,
hold on.
Okay.
Look, dude, I'm...
I'm probably
your worst nightmare.
Okay. Okay, okay.
Real talk, man to... whatever.
I don't want to hurt you.
Okay? So, how about
we call this even,
we each go our separate ways.
I go back to Queens,
you go back to Narnia.
You are no Firemaster.
Me? No, I'm not the Firemaster.
I'm just Nadeem.
And let the record show
I gave you a chance.
Dude, did you use
all the lighter fluid?
You told me to practice.
Um, does anyone have a light?
I-I quit smoking in the '90s.
Proud of you then,
proud of you now.
No, no, no, no. Wait, wait.
Uh...
Get out of the way!
Move!
Look out!
Bye, Phoebe.
Phoebe!
They're pinning him!
We can trap him now!
No!
We're gonna need a bigger trap.
It's right there.
Garraka's let
all the spirits out.
Peter, do you know
what this means?
You know what we could do?
Ray, pretend I don't.
If we neutralize
the mass-energy d-density
to reduce criticality,
it will force the tank
to re-prime itself
and re-reverse the polar...
Just do it! We all trust you.
I can't hold him much longer!
-Come on!
-Hey, little help.
Golden years?
Golden years!
When the light is green...
The whole world is clean.
I knew you had
one more dance in you.
Yes!
You're toast.
You were right.
I'll see you in the fabric
of the universe.
Mom.
Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!
Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!
Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!
Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!
-Hey!
-Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!
Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!
Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!
Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!
Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!
You have done it!
Citywide devastation.
I am putting you away
for a long ti...
Peck.
You clown.
You're never gonna
get it, are you?
Mr. Mayor!
What do you have to say
to the Ghostbusters?
Hey, how about
you thank them, dickless!
Wh-What... Uh, yes.
It sounds like we have
your undivided support.
Love you, Ghostbusters!
Uh, w-well, y-yes, of course.
Good. I'm so happy
to hear that, Mr. Mayor,
because without Phoebe
and her family, this whole city
would be under
three feet of ice.
Yeah.
We know that
the world right now
is experiencing
unusual paranormal activity.
We are here to answer that call
because we are
the Ghostbusters!
Well, it's not
my first evil god.
I am Nadeem.
I am a Firemaster, turns out.
Like my dadi before me.
Did we... did we win?
Busting ghosts together--
what do you call that?
-It's a team.
-A family.
Yeah. The Spenglers.
-We're the Spenglers.
-Okay.
Well, you don't want to be
a Grooberson. Trust me.
Okay, uh, guys, maybe put on
your packs.
Uh, okay.
All right, Dad.
Gary. Sorry.
Yeah, I heard it.
Trevor! Keys.
She just called me Dad.
Yeah!
Okay.
There are a lot of people,
so go slowly.
Look both ways.
Hey, that's my truck!
That's my truck!
That's my truck, man!
Hah! Hah!
Hah! Hah!
Hah!
Hah! Hah!
It's freezing.
Nah, that doesn't sound good.
Bike, bike, bike, bike! Whoa!
So, a photon is checking
into a hotel.
Can we not do jokes
right now, please?
I feel like I'm gonna puke.
Whoa!
Red light! Red light!
The bellhop asks,
"Do you need help
with your luggage?"
To which the photon responds,
"No, thanks.
I'm traveling light."
Wow.
Hey, can we get some air going
back here? It's like a furnace.
No air.
Also no power.
Trev, we need power!
Can you not talk to me
like that, please?
-I'm 18 now. I'm an adult.
-Oh, come on.
-We're on a job, buddy.
-I'm not getting paid.
-Are you getting paid? Cool.
-No.
Does anyone else
feel exploited?
We're all being paid--
with memories.
Ow!
-Oh, you're fine.
-Oh.
Actually, guys, I'm fine.
Mom says I'm fine. Welcome.
Oh!
Wonderful news from the back
seat. The windows are stuck.
I can open a door.
-No, no, no. No!
-No, Pheebs, no. We said!
Not during rush hour.
No gunner seat.
Ugh. Gross.
It's the Hell's Kitchen
Sewer Dragon.
Hold on to your ass!
-I'm going out.
-Phoebe.
-What, Callie?
-I'm Mom. You call me Mom.
Call me Gary,
or whatever you want.
-I-I don't care.
-We're gonna lose him.
Phoebe Spengler,
you stay inside this car.
I have a ghost to bust.
All right. That was cool.
-Gary, come on.
-No, I know. I'm sorry.
It's just, the way she said it,
it sounded cool.
Get back in here!
I can't hear you
over the nuclear accelerator.
Whoa!
-Drop it!
-Okay. Maybe a "please."
I'm sweating bullets.
In pursuit.
Nah.
They got it.
These roads are screwed.
-Try driving a ten-ton hearse.
-I have.
And if you give me the keys,
-then maybe we...
-Not now, Trevor.
Now! Trevor!
Pop it, Trev!
-I'm out of range.
-On it.
Good luck, Mom.
Come on.
Later, gator.
Got it!
-You got it?
-Yeah! Got it!
-Yes!
-Yes! Yes!
Whoo!
Phoebe!
-Everyone okay?
-Oh, God.
Who puts bikes there?
The city ground
to a halt today
as a high-speed ghost chase
tore up
portions of Lower Manhattan.
Honestly, looking at this,
I'm surprised
nobody got killed.
We haven't seen
the Ghostbusters
cause this much damage since
the Statue of Liberty
debacle of 1989.
Last year, descendants of
original Ghostbusters founder
Egon Spengler
were handed the keys
to the derelict firehouse,
bankrolled by philanthropist
and former Ghostbuster
Winston Zeddemore.
And though it's been decades
since New Yorkers cheered...
Break out the new equipment!
The Nutrona Blaster charged!
...today's question
isn't, "Who you gonna call?"
It's, "Who's gonna pay
for this mess?"
Three lampposts,
two parked Priuses,
an entire fleet
of rental bikes.
That is a lot of damage.
Yeah, but you can't have
a Sewer Dragon
flying around SoHo
like it's Middle-earth.
You have someone hanging out
the side of a moving vehicle,
firing a laser gun
indiscriminately...
Laser gun? What?
That's a proton pack.
It's a weapon.
A weapon of science.
It's completely safe.
It's not completely safe.
It's a portable
proton accelerator.
How old are you?
I'm 18. I'm an adult.
I'm not talking to you. Her.
-Fifteen.
-A minor.
We don't let kids become cops,
we don't let them fight fires,
and we certainly don't let them
become Ghostbusters.
-Uh, Mister-Mister...
-Sir.
I-I'm sorry. Uh, Mr. Mayor,
m-may I approach the bench?
Do you see a robe?
I am not a judge.
Gary.
Uh, look, uh, y-you don't know
Phoebe Spengler like-like I do.
I mean, she is something else,
this kid.
Honestly, she's more focused,
more accomplished,
more capable than just about
any other adult I know.
And what exactly is your
relationship to this minor?
Are you her parent?
I mean...
Labels.
No, I'm her step-teacher.
Mr. Grooberson,
you are not her father.
You are her employer.
No, uh, we don't pay her.
Sounds like we can add
child labor
-to our list of violations.
-Uh...
-Gary.
-Yeah.
Maybe she can become
a junior Ghostbuster,
hand out stickers or something.
As for the rest of you,
I am personally holding you
responsible,
and I won't stop until
that firehouse you call a home
is a pile of bricks.
Mom?
The ceiling's leaking again.
Sounds like a fun mystery
for a boy detective.
Yeah, the mystery
of the black mold.
Super fun mystery,
and you're gone.
Awesome. Awesome.
-Flight suit.
-It's not fair.
Maybe you can spend the next few
years being an actual teenager.
Yeah, well,
if this was the 18th century,
then I'd already be
a part of the workforce
and I'd have four kids.
Aw. So I'd be a grandmother.
No, you would be dead.
So sweet.
A ghost grandma.
-Ooh, tacos.
-Ooh.
Hey, look what I found
for movie night.
Is that family friendly?
I hope not.
It's about a family--
a family that eats people.
They're sisters.
-Trap.
-If that counts for anything.
I'm gonna take this
to the labor board.
-On what grounds?
-I'm a Ghostbuster.
I saved the world.
Well, I like to think
we saved the world.
Hey, could you, uh,
watch my beans?
You were a possessed canine.
Ghost dog!
This is insane.
Man, they got into
the snacks again!
So you're gonna make me wait
till I'm 18?
Aw, it's just three years.
-Be young. Live a little.
-This is the time
in your life when it's okay to
screw up, make some mistakes.
Yeah, you have the rest of
your life to be a Ghostbuster.
Okay, well, three years
is nothing for you guys.
It's a tiny, negligible
percentage of your lifespan.
-She means we're old.
-Yeah, I got that.
You're not the only
Spengler here, you know.
Okay, well, this is my calling.
You just, like, decided
to be a Ghostbuster.
So did I.
I mean, I was studying
earthquakes in Oklahoma.
Then I went to dinner
with your mom and...
...we turned into dogs.
And fulfilled
an ancient prophecy
that almost brought about
the end of the world.
Now, that's a first date.
We both got some action.
-Yeah, we did.
-Okay, gross.
For you, I get it--
you're a scientist--
but... she's just...
Choose your next words
very carefully.
I didn't think
she even knew those words.
You could've backed me up.
It's great you're their buddy,
but sometimes you need
to be an asshole.
Well, is that really my place?
I hope so.
I... You know.
I want to be more
than just their buddy.
I just don't know
what's allowed.
Permission granted.
Okay. Great.
Although I got to warn you,
I mean, I can be scary.
Yeah, you're a monster.
You have no i...
Don't look at me that way.
You laugh... Hey!
You laughing in my face?!
I'm so sorry.
That was really bad.
I-I scare myself sometimes.
I'll be nice to you.
I'll just be an asshole
to your kids.
That's what I want.
All right, who's hungry?
Is the containment unit okay?
Come on, there's always room
for one more ghost.
When the...
when the light is green...
Come on!
When the light is green...
The trap is clean.
We're rolling in three, two...
Greetings, ethereal beings,
subhuman entities
and spectral forms
from the great beyond
and any living humans
who may be watching.
Welcome to "Repossessed,"
the show where we measure
the spiritual energy
of everyday objects.
I'm your host,
Dr. Raymond Stantz.
My, uh, young producer-intern
reminds me to ask you
that if you like
what you see here,
-please push...
-Like.
-Like... and subscribe.
-And subscribe.
Now, who do we have here?
Oh.
I brought my late husband
Harold's watch.
He wore it every day.
And now when I walk
in the room...
it beeps.
Well, any object
that's been exposed
to a deep emotional experience
can bind a spirit.
I see.
An organic ghost trap,
if you will.
The stronger the experience
or even trauma,
the more powerful the trap.
-Wow.
-The way we detect this energy
is with one of these babies.
Oh, thank you.
-If there's anything there...
-Mm-hmm.
...this item will detect it.
Harold, beep for the nice man.
Are you getting anything?
I'm sorry, ma'am,
but it seems that
your dearly departed spirit has
left this earthly dimension.
Sorry, lady.
The hammer gets the views.
He was gone anyway. Next!
I'm telling you,
it's gonna be
another hot one out there.
In fact...
-Hey, Dr. Ray.
-Phoebe!
-Hot one.
-Yeah.
Um, here's the sample
of mood slime you requested.
Oh. Put it downstairs.
Here, I'll show you.
So, you're, like,
sleeping down here?
Yeah. Normally,
Ray rents this place
to Norwegian ghost hunting
clubs on Booking.com,
and I just got lucky.
It sure beats another
boring summer in Dorklahoma.
So, catch anything crazy
lately?
Anything try to bite
your arm off,
like Class Five, Class Seven?
No, I've been benched.
Oh, hold on.
Mm. I told my parents
I was at Space Camp.
We are go for launch.
T-minus 15,
14, 13, 12...
Hi.
Hi.
Orbit. I'll talk to you guys
later. Love you. Bye.
...seven, six...
Yeah.
-What are you doing?
-It's a nightmare.
Ray smuggled them back
from Summerville.
I'm pretty sure they're mating.
Disgusting.
That's odd.
You the weird guy
who buys strange old things?
Yeah, correct on both counts.
Buddy, you just hit
the jackpot.
This is all stuff
from my grandmother's.
And it was passed down to her,
so it's, like, ancient-ancient.
Was she a believer?
Well, she believed
a lot of demented
and superstitious stuff,
if that's what you mean.
My kind of gal.
I've learned it's always best
to knock every piece of wood
and throw a coin
into every fountain.
You just never know.
Well, I think you lose
a lot of coins that way.
-That's interesting stuff.
-It sure is.
30 for the whole lot?
This one's nice.
Oh.
Hmm.
Oh, the glyphs on this.
Oh, yeah. The glyph one.
You know your stuff, man.
That's the special piece
in there.
Actually, it's in there
by mistake.
I can't part with it...
for less than 50 bucks.
Mezzo-Arabic?
Yeah. Mezzo-Arabic.
Very unique.
Sixty.
These kinds of brass objects
were used to trap evil spirits.
Oh, you think there's
something inside it?
No clue.
If there is something trapped
in here,
you can bet
it's for a good reason.
Definitely.
I'm gonna take a PKE reading.
Psychokinetic energy meter.
May I do that?
Thank you for asking.
So many places do that
without asking.
Oh.
Instant reaction.
Whoa. Whoa.
Are you above the subway line?
Off-the-chart
telekinetic energy!
Full-bore convective spatter!
You took the words
right out of my mouth.
I'll take the works.
Sorry, I don't have change.
Are you okay?
Okay. Okay. Okay.
I'm telling you,
I mean, this...
This wasn't here before.
It shook the whole place.
Has anyone ever emptied
this containment unit?
Where, Gary? The East River?
So you've just been stuffing
ghosts in there since 1984?
That's the idea.
All right.
Well, maybe not the best idea.
I'll let Winston's engineers
know about this.
Hey, by the way,
about Winston's engineers.
Um, who are they?
Oh, that's not for me to say.
No, but what are they
working on?
Is it supersecret underground
ghostbusting stuff?
That's right, Gary.
Supersecret underground
ghostbusting stuff.
I knew it.
Ugh.
Mom!
Mom.
There's something in the attic.
You're an adult, right?
Yeah.
Then why don't you
take care of it?
Okay.
Yeah, sure. I will.
I will take care of it.
Do that right now.
Ow.
You picked
the wrong house, bro.
What the actual hell?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Yeah.
-Be safe.
-Thanks.
Where do you think
you're going?
You're seriously not taking me?
-Don't look at him.
-I, uh...
-Gary.
-Thanks for the support.
-Sorry.
-What happened to you?
It's nothing.
I can handle it.
Did you shower,
or is that product?
What? I'm a Ghostbuster.
Ha-ha. Very funny.
Boo.
Oh.
Uh, hey.
You know I'm a ghost, right?
Kind of figured
when the chess pieces
started moving on their own.
And you're not...
terrified of me?
No. Should I be?
I just think it's kind of weird.
I mean, usually,
people run by now.
I can leave if you want.
No, I'm not saying
you have to go.
If you want to, like,
float away again,
-I can pretend that I'm scared.
-No, I-I'm not saying...
Still weird.
Nice flames, by the way.
Thanks.
Yeah, I burned alive
in a horrifying tenement fire.
Guess you're lucky that
you're not all crispy.
I died before
my face melted off.
That's a bonus.
Checkmate.
What? I-I don't understand.
I-I can tell.
Hey, don't take it too hard.
I've had a lot of time
to practice.
So, you got a name?
Phoebe.
I'm Melody.
-Cool name.
-Thanks. It was a family name.
I was being sarcastic.
I kind of like you.
What's the worst part
about being a ghost?
I'll be 16
for the rest of eternity.
Yikes. No matter what?
Unless I...
Complete
my unfinished business.
Then what is the best part?
Doing this.
Um, do you mind just...
Yeah.
So you're
one of Winston's guys, huh?
-Gary.
-Hmm? Sorry.
Does that help you
hear the ghosts?
Oh, what helps me listen
to the ghosts is silence.
Sorry.
Okay. All right,
is something trying to get out?
Many things.
Is this my dad's handwriting?
His design.
The containment unit is
essentially a large ghost trap.
That was Egon Spengler's
great vision.
An articulated stream
of protons
that could stabilize
the particles of a ghost.
-Are you following this?
-Yeah, of course I am.
After 40 years of compiling
spiritual waste...
You ran out of space.
Well, didn't anybody
see this coming?
It was the '80s.
Nobody was too worried
about the future.
Then this happened.
This momentary burst
of spiritual energy
created a rift.
It's a potential gateway
to the other side.
The other side?
Are we talking about...
I don't know
what we're talking about.
That's what scares me.
Look, we didn't just buy
the firehouse for nostalgia.
This building
is the finger in the dam.
It's the fortification between
everything we do
and don't understand.
We have to protect it.
O-Okay,
so the ghost compactor broke.
Can't you guys
just build a new one?
What-what do you mean?
What do you mean,
"what do you mean?"
Don't they know?
We already have.
While
you've been out busting ghosts,
my engineers have been
thinking about our future.
Once upon a time, this was
the Triborough Aquarium.
Most recently, it's been
more of a squatters' paradise
and rave venue.
Welcome to
the Paranormal Research Center.
Ghostbusting asks
a lot of questions,
and now we have a place
to find the answers.
We have a parabotanist.
We even have
a paramusicologist.
Hey, Lucky!
Lucky!
-Trevor?
-Hey! You're here.
Uh, when you said
you were interning,
I didn't know you'd be
blowing stuff away with lasers.
I know, right?
Just a little upgrade.
Of course, you all know Lars,
our resident parabiologist.
Oh, no way.
I used to have one of these.
Mind your fingers.
It's possessed
by an evil Spin Doctors CD.
Ray Stantz has generously
provided us with a collection
of spirit-loaded items.
So, everything
in this place is haunted?
Indeed.
Look, here's a rare find.
This grandfather clock
is inhabited by the spirit
of an actual grandfather.
Any emotionally charged object
can contain a ghost,
as long as it's experienced
some sort of horrific event.
By exciting the atoms,
we're able to create
a fluid moment
of chemical transition.
Then we simply lock
onto the spirit...
...extract it
from its host object...
...and then lovingly deposit it
into our second chamber...
...so it can be
properly disposed of.
Have you made any attempts
on living possession?
Oh, w-we're still tweaking.
Now, I didn't want
to show it until it was ready,
but this is what
I brought you here to see.
Our new containment unit,
based on Egon's
original design.
It can spin the equivalent
of 50 million cubic hectares
of plasmic confinement.
A psychic jail as big
as the American West.
"Home on the Strange."
Oh. Where the specters
and entities play.
-Where the...
-Yeah.
How long would it take
to move the ghosts
from the firehouse to here?
If we went trap by trap
on regular shifts,
it could take anywhere between
three to seven years.
Oh, so...
so soon-ish.
Oh, I almost forgot.
We don't exactly know
what it is,
but it broke the PKE meter.
Good luck extracting
whatever's inside it.
Fun.
Yeah, we're still
workshopping names.
Uh, I personally like
the Little Ball of Hate
or Devil's Testicle.
Thank you, Podcast.
Yeah. You're welcome.
What's in here?
Wait, do you keep ghosts
just hanging out in here?
We spent a long time
trapping them.
Now we can study them.
Why don't they escape?
-Barrier of proton fields.
-Precisely.
It's the same technology
as in your packs.
We use it
in all the enclosures.
-Oh.
-He's cute.
-Yeah.
-Hey, buddy.
Now, this one is the most
threatening pest
in the whole complex.
Possessor.
This spry little weasel
can occupy any inanimate matter
it wants.
Extremely dangerous.
Hey.
You're good.
Pheebs.
Am I doing something wrong?
It's not working.
Can you help me?
The cyclotron isn't... cycling.
Can you help me out?
Whoa.
You fixed it.
Literally just unplugged.
I know it sucks right now.
I-I do.
But it's just temporary.
And time flies by.
I promise you. I should know.
Two years ago,
I was in Oklahoma,
and now I'm here...
with a proton pack.
I was your
science teacher, and now I'm...
Well, now I'm...
And I'm your, um...
We got a call downtown!
Trev, let's go!
Sorry.
Hello? Anybody there?
Gh-Ghostbusters.
Oh, good.
We need someone right away.
All right.
We're back, baby.
Ghostbusters are back.
Back in the big city.
Back in the Big Apple.
Gonna take a bite
out of the Big Apple.
Phoebe, Podcast.
Podcast and Phoebe.
Can't keep us apart.
Dynamic duo.
What are we catching tonight?
Can't play right now.
I know you see me working.
If you're good, later on,
you'll get a tennis ball.
Let's see
what you've got in you.
Something wrong?
I think it's
fighting extraction.
Not for this long. The...
-Uh...
-Okay.
-Small thing.
-Uh-huh.
Need to wait for the generators
to warm back up.
Until then...
the proton fields are down.
Okay. Uh...
Do you hear that?
Lars. Why haven't the ghosts
escaped yet?
Okay, we need to shut
that thing up.
This is the place.
Yeah.
They better have baklava.
Hi.
You here for the ghost?
Boo.
Phoebe?
-Uh...
-Blast it.
"It"?
-Phoebe, what are you doing?
-Who's the third wheel?
Why are you just
standing there? Fire!
Uh...
What are you doing?!
-You missed!
-Oh!
-If... I have great aim.
-Cool.
And if I wanted to hit you,
then I would've, but I didn't.
-Right.
-If it...
If it makes you
feel better, I guess.
Yeah, I just feel, like,
a warm rush of relief.
Oh.
Phew.
So...
do you want to hang out?
You're inviting me in?
Um, sure. Yeah.
You're inviting me inside
your ghost extermination
headquarters?
Uh, yeah, no, it's fine.
I see how that could be weird.
It's cool. You don't have to...
Nice digs.
You can transapparate?
Oh, is that what I just did?
Yeah, I do that.
How do you touch
the chess pieces if...?
Basically, I exist on
an entirely different
dimensional plane.
You wouldn't get it.
I get it.
I love dimensional planes.
I've always wanted to visit
a different dimensional plane.
I don't know why
I said that. I...
So, like, is the rest
of this place this cool or...?
That's our car.
And...
this is my locker.
That's my name.
Oh, uh, that's where we...
I know what this is.
Have you ever wondered
what happens...
...when we're all done here?
I mean, I've seen it.
Yeah, I mean, it's...
it's really beautiful,
actually.
I mean, your particles start
to lose their bonds
and float off into space.
Then what?
Quantum physics suggests
that we become
a part of the fabric
of the universe.
Do you believe that?
I mean, I believe
in quantum physics.
Duh.
Sounds cool.
Maybe I'll be able
to check it out someday.
When you cross
to the other side?
Yeah.
That's where my family is.
Why can't you join them?
If I knew,
I'd already be there.
Is, uh, that your object?
My what?
It's like an emotionally
charged anchor
that keeps us tethered
to this world.
Well, the last match burned
my family alive, so...
Yeah, well, that'll do it.
No, it was an accident.
-Oh, I...
-I used to think
these matches were
some sort of key to moving on,
but I've gotten used to the idea
that I'm not going anywhere.
-I'm sorry.
-Pheebs?
You okay down there?
Um...
Uh, I'll be right up.
I'm going as fast as I can.
Does it have to be her?
I understand.
Hey, pal.
Got some Cheetos for you.
You can come on out.
I'm only gonna shoot you
in the face.
Come on.
That's it.
Huh? The hell?
Phoebe?
-You okay?
-Yeah.
Basement. Now.
Can you explain this?
No, I can't.
-Cool.
-Empirically.
Approaching the mythically cold
temperature of absolute zero,
the degree at which
all particles stop.
Zero kelvin.
The suspension of life itself.
Exquisite.
If you like that...
you're gonna love this.
Ever since you brought in
this lethal snow cone,
the other ghosts have been
acting peculiar.
We think it's communicating.
So the orb's kind of chatty?
Not the orb itself
but whatever lies within it.
We think it's commanding
the other ghosts
with some sort of mind control.
All right.
-Wow.
-Oh.
Extreme thermodynamic
"exutions,"
thought transference...
This little cutie gets out,
no telling how dangerous
it could be.
Where the hell did you guys
get this thing?
Hey, man.
-Hey.
-Are you Nadeem Razmaadi?
Maybe.
Did you recently sell
a collection
of family artifacts
to Ray Stantz?
-That money's gone.
-Wait.
Uh, we're not looking
for a refund. We...
Come on in.
I got a bunch of other stuff
for sale.
I am a licensed third-party
reseller of sneakers.
-What's your shoe size, my man?
-Uh, ten.
I don't have any tens.
Can you squeeze into an eight?
-No, probably not.
-Is this your bachelor pad?
This was my dadi's place--
my grandmother's.
Hmm.
Nipple stuff.
-Iconic.
-Oh, yeah.
That was my dadi's
favorite painting.
I can't really part with it.
What's your offer?
What was
your grandmother's deal?
We weren't really that close.
She said I was unambitious.
But, really,
who's the brave one, huh?
The brother who goes
to engineering school
or the one who forges ahead
with no education
or future prospects?
The second one.
-Right? Yeah.
-Yes. Absolutely.
Yeah, I think that all the time.
Yep. Me, too. I also think
that all the time.
Hundred percent. It's heroic.
Yeah, we're curious about
a particular object.
Brass orb.
Hurts when touched.
Oh, yeah, that came from my
grandmother's special back room
where she keeps
all the really good stuff.
But I'm not supposed to take
anybody back there, so...
Whoa.
Nice sex dungeon.
-Okay, dadi.
-Not a sex dungeon.
Would a sex dungeon
have these chains?
-Yeah, definitely.
-Yeah.
As soon as I said it,
I realized it would.
Seriously,
what'd she do in here?
I don't know. I found
this room after she died
while I was looking
for some Pop-Tarts.
All this stuff is for sale, too,
by the way.
-Is this brass or copper, Lars?
-Brass.
Once believed to be
a magical alloy.
There are countless tales
of demons trapped
in brass urns and lamps,
going all the way back
to the time of Solomon.
Sick outfit.
Whoa. You guys hear that?
No echo, no anything.
It's like... it's like
a dead room in here.
So she could be as loud
as she wanted.
Please stop.
Please stop making sex jokes
about my recently deceased
grandmother.
The brass orb--
it was always kept in here?
Far as I know.
Is it possible she wanted
to keep it quiet?
What does that mean?
It means you're coming with us.
Dr. Ray?
-Yes, Phoebe?
-I think that somebody left
a rotting carrot
on one of your shelves.
Oh, that's a human pinkie.
Picked that up
at the old State Hospital
for the Criminally Insane
in Pennsylvania-- haunted.
And we had no equipment
back then.
-Um...
-We...
Actually, I had a question
I wanted to ask you.
Have you ever...
wondered what it would be like
to be a ghost?
Every day of my life, dear.
-Really?
-Sure.
I mean,
how I would materialize.
What's that feel like?
Would it be some kind
of a visual manifestation?
I mean, if something's...
What is that?
Oh, um, I was just watching
a video I shot of the orb.
I think the audio's
corrupted or something.
It's all weird. Here.
Check it out.
Ancient verbiage, um...
Yeah, but what language?
A dead one.
I know a guy who could help us.
But...
Should we investigate?
Mm, we could.
Aren't you benched?
Aren't you retired?
Oh.
You gonna take that from her?
Hold still.
What's this?
It's just
a garden-variety test:
Are you... a human?
You should be able
to pass it easily
unless you are possessed
by a cross-dimensional beast.
Right, just a couple human
beings having a conversation.
One of them has a pasta pot
strapped to his head.
Let's start off
with a layup, okay?
Puppies.
Love them or kill them?
I love them?
That's one correct.
Okay. Great.
Yes, but that was very easy.
Have you ever experienced
dj vu?
No.
Okay.
Have you ever experienced...
Dj vu?
That's pretty good.
Ow!
What was that?
Don't throw any more pens
at me, dude.
That made you angry, did it?
Yeah, it made me angry, did it.
Hypothetical: You're about
to devour a small child.
Would you prefer skin on
or skinless?
Okay. I'm not...
This interview is over.
I'm not gonna answer that.
-Refuse to answer that? Okay.
-No, no, no. I'm not refusing.
Okay. I'll do it. I'll do it.
Is it a human child?
Are there other kinds
of children?
Are you thinking
of a specific child?
Is this child related to me?
-Would that be necessary?
-No, it's not necessary.
You're the one
who brought it up.
I don't want to eat any...
I told you to stop
throwing pens at me.
I'm sorry. It's a perfectly
normal reaction!
Oh, oh! Don't! Okay! Okay!
What are you staring at?!
Did I pass?
Dr. Stantz, I don't think that
this is a legal parking space.
Ah, they know me here.
Did you know
these two regal kittens
actually have names?
You have Patience
and Fortitude.
Ah, no! Dr. Stantz!
No, you are forbidden
from coming within
50 feet of this library.
Good to see you, buddy.
Been a long time, huh?
Hi.
Excuse us.
It's not Essenic.
It's not Chaldean.
It ain't French.
This is pre-Sumerian.
This is pre-Sanskrit.
Well, what does it mean?
Five people in the world
can understand these words.
Whi... which means
my colleague Dr. Jahangiri
put you up to this.
Jahangiri's already dead.
-What?!
-No. Your colleague's...
-Your colleague's fine.
-Sorry.
What the fudge
is wrong with you?
Listen, this language has been
dead for thousands of years.
How did you get this recording?
Do you believe
in spiritual inhabitation?
Spectral possession?
Look, there's a reason
I'm down here in the basement.
I'm the library folklorist.
I'm also the tristate treasurer
of the H.P. Lovecraft Society,
so...
Do I believe in spirits?
Yes, I believe in spirits.
I believe
in self-winding clocks
and the singing cheeses
of Copenhagen.
Please continue.
All right.
The ancient chants you heard
came from
this mysterious object.
It's about the size
of a boccie ball.
Come with me to the library.
Are we not in the library?
Upstairs is just for show.
Gilded research rooms
where struggling actors
can Twitch-stream
and buy crypto.
The old library is below.
-Welcome to the old library.
-Whoa.
That object of yours--
its last recorded sighting...
...wasn't photographed,
and it wasn't painted.
It was carved in stone.
Whoa.
Recognize anything?
There's your orb.
What is it?
Well, the better question is:
What's inside of it?
What's inside of it?
Excellent question.
Probably sand.
But if you believe
the folklore--
and I always believe
the folklore--
that orb is a magical prison
for a phantom god
called Garraka.
See, 4,000 years ago,
Garraka served
a bloodthirsty king
called Samudari.
You know, from the Battle
of the Seven Armies,
et cetera, et cetera.
After Garraka helped conquer
half of Central Asia,
the king grew suspicious
of his ambitions.
Garraka was captured, branded,
broken and disfigured.
His horns, the source
of his greatest strength,
were, like, ripped
off his head.
Nasty stuff.
I love it. No notes.
But Garraka didn't take
too kindly to that
and went on a bit
of a murder bender.
His plan was to raise an army
of the undead
and wage war on humanity by
channeling fear into a weapon.
Kusharit Umoti.
The Death Chill.
The power to kill
by fear itself.
A cold shiver runs
down your spine.
Your veins turn
to rivers of ice.
Your bones crack.
Your lungs cave.
And the last thing you see
is your own tear ducts
freezing up.
It's so cool.
Anyhoo, before Garraka
could collapse
the collective bronchial tubes
of greater South Asia,
he finally met his match.
His icy spell was shattered
by a roving band
of mythical spirit catchers
called the Firemasters,
who used fire and brass
to trap the evil god
inside of an orb.
The very orb you now possess.
Kind of like Ghostbusters.
Yeah.
If you're willing to entertain
a little historical gossip...
These are wax cylinders.
19th-century audio recordings.
Our collection is bonkers.
Here.
Mary Todd Lincoln
using the f-word.
Apparently, she saw a moth.
But the one I think you'll be
most interested in is...
this one.
See, back in the Gilded Age
of our fair metropolis,
there was this group
of rich assholes called
the Manhattan
Adventurers Society.
They would steal relics
and artifacts.
They'd get together.
They'd enjoy them
with their Beaujolais
and a couple of hookers.
Real colonial loot fest
kind of stuff.
Anyway, one night,
they took out
a particularly rare relic,
the Orb of Garraka.
And then they played
this chant,
which opened the orb.
For the first time
in New York history,
a room full of people
froze to death
in the middle of July.
Uh...
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
It's the Possessor!
He's got the chant! Stop him!
Stop that bag!
-Excuse us!
-Wh-- Hey!
-Move, move, move!
-No running!
Go left!
Get it!
Keep your eyes on it!
Shh.
Excuse me.
What the hell was that?
Oh, Possessor ghost.
Master of concealment
and disguise.
Now it'll be
impossible to find.
Oh, oh, there it is.
Well, that's a close one.
You don't want that
getting away.
-Give me a boost, will you?
-Oh, yeah. Okay.
I got you.
Oh, my God.
Dr. Ray!
The bike! Push the button!
Uh...
-Press the button!
-There's too many buttons!
Oh!
Come on!
Yes!
-Podcast, do something!
-I-I'm trying!
Come on!
-Hurry up! Push the button!
-I'm trying...
Hands where we can see 'em!
Step forward.
The lions, Phoebe.
They're iconic.
People love them.
They make kids want
to visit the library.
Do you know how hard it is
to get kids to visit
the library?
I love the library.
Then why did you shoot
Fortitude in the face?
I was doing my job.
You don't have a job!
Magnifique!
My compliments to the chef.
As far as fiascos go,
this was just dynamite.
One would think, though,
you'd have a little more respect
for the public library,
you being such a bookworm.
-Why don't you just back off.
-I just want to thank her.
For what?
For 40 years, I've been waiting
to say these words.
The Ghostbusters are finished.
Your firehouse
has been condemned.
Your packs are
in a police lockup.
They'll be melted down
for scrap by morning.
And just wait until
I get ahold of your car.
Now, just hold on here...
The last time you tried
to shut us down,
you created a crossrip
into another dimension.
Watch out, kiddo.
That sounds a lot like slander.
That's a crime punishable
with time in prison.
So let me ask you,
Miss Spengler,
are you going to behave,
or do I need
to have you arrested?
Well, we really thought
you were gonna choose "behave."
Sure, I get it. You're upset.
Can we just get to the part
where you ground me
and move on?
Oh, you're not grounded.
You're fired.
Honestly,
if you weren't a Spengler,
you'd be answering our phones.
-Excuse me?
-Don't talk to her like that.
Are you serious?
I'm very serious.
She's your mom.
Being a Spengler
doesn't make you a genius.
It just makes you
part of this family.
Are you even a part
of this family?
-Phoebe.
-It's...
Yeah. I get it. Fair enough.
But maybe if you weren't
being so selfish,
you might notice that your mom,
your brother and I
have been doing everything
to try and protect you,
so wake up!
Sucks, doesn't it?
What the
hell were you thinking?
You don't get it.
There was a wax cylinder.
-There was chanting.
-You do realize what kind
of trouble you've gotten
yourself into today?
The gramophone handle
was turning by its...
Ray, shut up!
Shut up. Ray.
Geez.
We're too old for this.
Zedd, I...
I don't know what our age
has to do with this.
There was, uh, chanting
coming out of that cylinder.
-Ray.
-It's a trigger.
-It's a catalyst. It's a key.
-You could've got yourself hurt.
You could've got
those kids hurt.
Geez, Ray.
Take a vacation, okay?
Go visit some old ruins
or something.
I don't know, sit your ass
on a beach somewhere.
A little color
wouldn't kill you.
Ray, this is supposed to be
our golden years.
Winston...
this is the way I want
to spend my golden years.
This is what I love.
I know. I know.
Me, too.
But you need to find a new way
to do the things you love
before it kills you.
Pheebs.
Oh, man.
They stole our gear.
"Civil forfeiture," I believe,
is the terminology.
-Stop it! Fire pole?
-Oh, yeah.
You really got to try
that thing, dude.
Who is he?
Oh, I'm Nadeem.
I'm a potential deep well
of psychokinetic energy
and quite possibly possessed.
Can I try the fire pole?
Yeah. Knock your socks off.
Is this the last night
in the firehouse?
I don't know.
Hey.
So this is it, huh?
I'm used to being on the move.
I'm good at it.
I don't know.
I'd kind of like to stay
and fight for this place.
It's not our place.
Of course it is.
We can't leave.
I mean...
If there's something strange
in the neighborhood...
...who are they gonna call?
If there's something weird
and it don't look good...
-...who-who you gonna call?
-Ghostbusters.
What? I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, what was that?
-Ghostbusters.
-Ghostbusters.
This is the home
of the Ghostbusters.
We're the Ghostbusters.
Can I tell you something else?
It's important.
What?
-Busting makes me feel good.
-No.
-No. Get out.
-It makes...
Holy crap!
This place is trashed.
I'm trying to get
a reading in here, please.
-What happened here?
-Okay, look...
Such a disaster.
What have you done?
This is a very sensitive area.
Oh, it is freezing.
Yeah, well,
maybe it wouldn't be freezing
if a certain someone
had left his grandmother's orb
in her room where it belongs.
Wait, I'm confused.
You're saying this is my fault?
Here's the deal.
Your grandmother was
guardian of the orb,
the last line of defense
against Garraka.
Now it's your turn.
You are the Firemaster.
Ooh, that's dramatic.
I like that.
It's not a joke, man.
For thousands of years,
your family
has selflessly guarded
the world
from an unimaginable evil.
Now, either she didn't
tell you about it
-or you weren't listening.
-Could've been either.
We had
a complicated relationship.
Instead, you come into my shop,
try to sell your heritage--
your birthright-- for 50 bucks.
You should be ashamed
of yourself.
Who are you? Who's that?
You are the Firemaster.
It's time for you
to claim your destiny, son.
Light the candle.
I think we both know
that's impossible.
Son, I stopped believing
in that word a long time ago.
What if you were
humanity's last hope?
Dude, I've never been
anyone's only hope.
I went to senior prom as
a backup for someone's brother.
You may not choose
to believe it,
but there are many stories
of people
with inexplicable gifts,
going back eons.
The strength of Samson,
the speed of Achilles.
Perfect pitch, sick dance moves.
Even pyrokinesis.
So...
light the candle.
Light the candle?
Just like that?
I just do that...
What?
Oh.
Indus literature speaks
of a sacred fire,
a smokeless flame,
like the kind Moses saw
on Mount Horeb
when he encountered
the burning bush.
Like the kind the demon djinn
brought forth
from the seven earths,
that flowed through the hair
of Sambo-Kojin,
the Japanese god of the hearth.
That same sacred power exists
in your fingertips.
Wow.
Oh.
Light the candle.
It's his first time.
I think we're all going to die.
Phoebe?
Um, can I come in?
I just wanted to talk to you
about what happened
at the police station.
Uh, because I-I know
that was rough.
And, um...
but, you know, you know,
life is rough.
L-Life is unpredictable
and crazy and...
Doors close. Friends change.
But, uh... but family is...
...is the one thing
that's there no matter what.
You know, uh...
Sometimes they're not even
your actual blood relatives.
They're just...
They're the people
that remind you
you have a home.
Anyway, I think you're great.
I think you're really great.
I'm really glad
we had this talk.
I don't know, every time I do
what I think is right,
they just come down on me like
I'm screwing everything up.
-That's ridiculous.
-I know.
What?
Just sucks that the only person
who gets me is...
a ghost.
Yeah. It's too bad we exist on
different dimensional planes.
Separated by quantum physics.
It's always something.
I mean, there is a way for me
to be a ghost for a bit.
But it's-it's experimental.
And you wouldn't want
to risk it.
It's not lethal.
That's a plus.
Just requires a little bit
of light breaking and entering
and some advanced science.
I mean, I wouldn't want to
get you into any more trouble.
What else can they do to me?
What is that thing?
It's an ionic separator.
It'll allow us
to temporarily exist
on the same dimensional plane.
My spirit will be separated
from my body
for only two minutes.
Then I'll regain consciousness.
Boo.
What's wrong?
I'm sorry.
For what?
A human voice is the key.
But Garraka
can't control humans.
Only ghosts.
And now he can control you.
Garraka's the only one that can
open the door to the other side.
It's my only chance.
My only chance
to see my family again.
Maybe one day,
you'll understand.
Your world will shatter.
Bones and ice.
My empire will rise.
Hey, asshole.
Lucky!
-Phoebe?
-Over here.
Phoebe. Are you okay?
-She ghost-walked.
-What?
Her spirit separated
from her body.
-Oh, my God, you're freezing.
-I tried to stop it.
-I couldn't.
-No, it's okay.
No, you're okay.
That's all that matters.
-We're in trouble. We're...
-No, you're not in trouble.
-You're not in trouble.
-She's right.
We're all in big trouble.
Yeah,
just give me a minute.
Just, uh, finishing this up.
I'll be right with you.
Are you the Firemaster?
Yeah, man, read the damn sign.
-I love that.
-What is that?
Should we call this one in?
Yeah, call this one in.
Taxi!
It's okay if you guys hate me.
We don't hate you.
We were worried about you.
We didn't know where you were.
You could've been killed.
I trusted somebody
that I shouldn't have.
I just feel stupid.
It's okay to feel stupid.
Some of the smartest people
I know are morons.
Yeah, and I told you
to make mistakes.
Yeah, not release
a monstrous deity.
Maybe next time, get a tattoo.
Or try shoplifting.
Hey, that'd be fun.
Yeah. Okay.
Hey.
Are you ready
to be a Spengler again?
Good, 'cause we need you.
Yeah.
Phoebe.
-How did Garraka get out?
-Doesn't matter.
It's coming right for us,
and it's really bad out there.
Wh-Who's coming right for us?
Typical manifestation of evil.
Ender of worlds,
that kind of thing.
Garraka's coming
for the containment unit
to recruit every ghost
in the tank we've ever caught.
We can't allow that to happen.
He'll have a veritable
army of ghosts.
-Army of ghosts?
-Guys, it's okay. We're fine.
Look, we're good. Calm down.
We have the Firemaster.
Do the thing.
This is really great.
You're gonna love it.
Okay,
just like we practiced.
Huh?
-Huh?
-Yes!
-Great.
-Huh?
Great.
Where are our proton packs?
New packs.
Suit up.
Get to the roof, all right?
Just shoot anything
that looks terrifying.
But I already threw
a proton stream at that thing.
-It didn't even flinch.
-How is that possible?
It's an ancient god
from another dimension.
Who's to know
its atomic composition?
-Dr. Ray?
-Yeah?
Copper can conduct
an electrical field
like the one in our colliders.
Yeah, but there's no copper
left in the firehouse.
Stripped by vagrants
in the '90s.
Well, then what about brass?
Brass.
Especially if it's
psychically charged.
Our proton
packs use nickel and zinc
as primary drivers
for spectral agitation.
But Garraka is different.
The ancient ghost trappers
used brass to trap him.
If I brass-plate
the components of my pack,
it could give us a chance.
Switch me on.
Wow, he managed
a faster decay of split time
and narrowed
the stream intensification.
Terrific new improvements.
Let's get to work.
Here we go.
-Can I be of any help?
-Son of a bitch.
-Venkman.
-You got to be kidding me.
Home sweet home.
Melnitz in uniform.
Looking sporty.
Oh.
Courage, anyone?
No, no, no, no, no,
I don't like that.
-What do you see up there?
-A trike.
-Tell them it's a trike.
-A what?
A kid's tricycle
rolling down the street
-on its own.
-No, no. Possessor.
-Possessor.
-You need to get down here now.
Yeah.
What's going on?
Oh, it's really bad.
The world's ending.
Do not go up there.
-How's it going?
-Oh, terrible.
Okay,
just keep practicing, man.
We got your back.
Could one of the adults
also come and help?
Whoa!
It's possessed!
Run!
Whoa!
Oh, my God.
Oh.
Gave me the fright of my life.
I thought you were
one of the big, scary ones.
How'd you get
all the way up here?
Ooh, paper.
That's random.
Lucky!
Lucky, are you okay?
Oh, shit.
Trevor!
You're doing it!
This is awesome!
I know that guy!
I am a god.
Where's Phoebe?
Good luck.
So, was any of it real?
Yeah. I actually did
beat you at chess.
I never wanted to hurt you.
I just wanted
to see my family again.
Well, my family's up there now.
We still have time
to stop this.
It's too late.
He's here.
Phoebe? Phoebe!
Heads up.
Tall, dark and horny
at 12 o'clock.
Ah!
Garraka can't help you move on.
You have to do that yourself.
Don't let him get
to the basement!
How?
Well, being nice didn't work.
-Let's try this.
-Light 'em up!
I tried to tell you guys
our throwers are useless.
Hold on, hold on,
hold on.
Okay.
Look, dude, I'm...
I'm probably
your worst nightmare.
Okay. Okay, okay.
Real talk, man to... whatever.
I don't want to hurt you.
Okay? So, how about
we call this even,
we each go our separate ways.
I go back to Queens,
you go back to Narnia.
You are no Firemaster.
Me? No, I'm not the Firemaster.
I'm just Nadeem.
And let the record show
I gave you a chance.
Dude, did you use
all the lighter fluid?
You told me to practice.
Um, does anyone have a light?
I-I quit smoking in the '90s.
Proud of you then,
proud of you now.
No, no, no, no. Wait, wait.
Uh...
Get out of the way!
Move!
Look out!
Bye, Phoebe.
Phoebe!
They're pinning him!
We can trap him now!
No!
We're gonna need a bigger trap.
It's right there.
Garraka's let
all the spirits out.
Peter, do you know
what this means?
You know what we could do?
Ray, pretend I don't.
If we neutralize
the mass-energy d-density
to reduce criticality,
it will force the tank
to re-prime itself
and re-reverse the polar...
Just do it! We all trust you.
I can't hold him much longer!
-Come on!
-Hey, little help.
Golden years?
Golden years!
When the light is green...
The whole world is clean.
I knew you had
one more dance in you.
Yes!
You're toast.
You were right.
I'll see you in the fabric
of the universe.
Mom.
Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!
Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!
Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!
Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!
-Hey!
-Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!
Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!
Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!
Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!
Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!
You have done it!
Citywide devastation.
I am putting you away
for a long ti...
Peck.
You clown.
You're never gonna
get it, are you?
Mr. Mayor!
What do you have to say
to the Ghostbusters?
Hey, how about
you thank them, dickless!
Wh-What... Uh, yes.
It sounds like we have
your undivided support.
Love you, Ghostbusters!
Uh, w-well, y-yes, of course.
Good. I'm so happy
to hear that, Mr. Mayor,
because without Phoebe
and her family, this whole city
would be under
three feet of ice.
Yeah.
We know that
the world right now
is experiencing
unusual paranormal activity.
We are here to answer that call
because we are
the Ghostbusters!
Well, it's not
my first evil god.
I am Nadeem.
I am a Firemaster, turns out.
Like my dadi before me.
Did we... did we win?
Busting ghosts together--
what do you call that?
-It's a team.
-A family.
Yeah. The Spenglers.
-We're the Spenglers.
-Okay.
Well, you don't want to be
a Grooberson. Trust me.
Okay, uh, guys, maybe put on
your packs.
Uh, okay.
All right, Dad.
Gary. Sorry.
Yeah, I heard it.
Trevor! Keys.
She just called me Dad.
Yeah!
Okay.
There are a lot of people,
so go slowly.
Look both ways.
Hey, that's my truck!
That's my truck!
That's my truck, man!