Ghosting: The Spirit of Christmas (2019) Movie Script
(Winter Wonderland playing)
Sleigh bells ring
are you listening?
In the lane
snow is glistening
A beautiful sight
we're happy tonight
Walking in
a winter wonderland
Gone away
is the bluebird
Here to stay
is a new bird
He sings a love song
As we go along
Walking in
a winter wonderland
In the meadow
we can build a snowman
And pretend that he is
Parson Brown
He'll say,
are you married?
We'll say, no man...
Jess.
Yeah?
I thought
we discussed this.
Yeah, I know, we did,
but then I talked
with myself some more
and I realized it's just
so relevant, you know,
like, why can't a woman
be Santa Claus?
A female Santa cookie
is deviating from design.
Yeah, but, I mean, Sherry,
how can we burn down
the patriarchy if we don't
It's just cookies, okay.
You can shatter
the glass ceiling
on your lunch break.
(cell phone rings)
Yes?
I got off work early.
Can I come be with you
before my date tonight?
Oh my god, were you fired?
Sherry and I had
a mutual parting of ways.
Jess, did you do that thing
where you project
a feminist agenda
onto inanimate objects?
Do I do that?
When you worked
at that pottery place,
you told that guy that his bowl
was bodyshaming you.
Hey, listen,
it was a gravy boat,
and it had zero curves.
Ugh, but that's why I loved
that bakery job.
So many stolen baked goods
to taste test.
So much better than
when you were a tutor
and always brought home
algebra worksheets.
Okay, we both know
those helped you
with your taxes.
Wait.
What smells amazing?
A new tea I wanted you
to taste test.
Oh, is this
from Meridians?
No, not work related.
Just kinda like for my own
personal collection.
Okay.
Wait, it
it smells like me.
Mmhmm!
You guessed it.
It's a you tea.
Hmm.
I infused it with saffron
just kinda like your
My overpriced conditioner
that you hate because of
all of its parabens!
Mmhmm. (chuckles)
Wow!
Now I can finally drink
something that reminds me of me.
You know.
Every girl's dream.
Hmm. Is it nice?
Being so good at the thing
you know you want to do?
You'll find your thing, Jess.
Hmm.
I can't help that nothing meets
my expectations
Well,
when your expectations
are extremely high
and require perfection,
you can.
So simple.
Ooh, maybe you can try
on your date tonight.
Oh yeah, well,
he uses emojis in his bio,
so I have
medium hopes at best.
But, you know,
at least I'm putting
myself out there.
Is that a jab?
Yeah, it's a love jab.
But anyway, uh, can you
help me pick an outfit?
I brought seven options.
(phone rings)
Wha...
Hey, Kara,
you can't call me right now!
Especially not
with your whole face.
You said that
he was in the bathroom.
Not like, indefinitely.
Kara:
Okay, just leave me
on the bar, like a coaster.
Like a coaster?
When have you ever
seen me use a coaster?
Oh, I forgot to ask.
Um, is this ski mask
just too intense
for the Big Bear
Mountain trip?
Oh!
Hmm.
Oh no.
Uh. Oh no.
Oh no
I didn't mean for you
to see me this way.
Were you calling
for a date rescue?
A what?
Okay.
I find onsite
friendspies
to be a lot more effective.
Yes, absolutely.
You see that lady?
I see that baby.
That's my friend Kara.
So, careful.
Mmhmm. Okay, good.
Yeah, good, great.
Because then I won't
mess with her,
that baby, as I had definitely
been planning to do.
Oh man,
that is so like you,
always going to bars
and messing with babies.
This is Kara, your friend
with the oncall
energy healer, right?
Uh, yeah, wait,
how did you know that?
Earlier when you were talking
about your best friend Kara
with a oncall
energy healer...
Right.
...and I was just going with
Yes, of course, I'm sorry.
I'm on, like,
five first dates right now,
so I keep forgetting
who I'm telling what to.
That happens.
Not to me but, uh
Well...
I'm proud of you.
Thanks.
Minimum is two team members.
Jess: Oh.
Trivia night.
Did you know that?
Look at that.
Wow. Uh, no.
Is that a dealbreaker?
Dealmaker?
Mmm. Sorry, I'm having
a hard time hearing you
over the fact that
we are absolutely doing this.
Don't fight
you know it's right
Just stay a little longer
Don't play
'cause honestly
It's no secret
that I want ya
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
I'm addicted to you
And you know it's true
I'm addicted to you
No matter what I do
It's got me good
I'm addicted to you
Jess: So, you just hate
the joy of Christmas?
Ben: Exactly.
But I do love a good solid
Christmas movie though.
You do?
And, um...
I heard that
It's a Wonderful Life
will be playing at
Hollywood Forever Cemetery
on the 21st.
Kinda morbid.
Yeah, true,
but, you know,
it also makes sense
based on what
the movie's about.
Is it about cemeteries?
You
You haven't seen it?
No.
Why? It's so good.
It's so good.
No, I haven't seen it.
It's so good!
It I mean, like, not,
not to, like, oversell it.
But it kinda, you know, like,
you know, I mean,
will change your life
if you...
Change my life.
...you watch it.
Uh...
But...
you know, it would also make,
like, a great date.
That's presumptuous.
Is it?
(chuckles)
Well, uh,
this is me. So...
Same.
(chuckles)
No, like, uh,
we parked...
Oh!
...next to each other.
That's cute.
Super cute.
So, I'll
So...
I'll text you.
You what?
What?
What did you say?
That I...
I didn't say
I just said I'll text you.
I'll text you.
Oh.
You'll Right.
That makes more sense.
I thought you said
I'll kiss you.
And I was like...
No. Oh yeah, no.
...that would be
a weird way to do that.
Yeah, no, that would be
a weird
Yeah, if if I said that.
Yeah.
That'd be a strange way
to do it.
Strange, you know,
like weirdest.
The weirdest, um...
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Cool.
Um...
So, uh, uh...
Uh, just...
kiss me when you get home.
What?
Oh. No, yes, I get it.
I'll, um, I'll kiss you
when I get home.
Yeah.
I'll do better
on my joke next time.
That's good.
Jess (on phone):
And we happened
to be parked
like, right next
to each other
which might just be
a coincidence
but is more likely
the Universe!
The Universe!
I feel really good
about this, Kara.
See, maybe you can expect
a lot from having
no expectations.
(Jess laughs)
You know, I'm already,
like, fantasizing
about New Year's with him,
which is just
Gross.
I know.
Maybe I should end
my dating embargo.
Jess:
Yeah, yeah, maybe you
can call that girl Tammy
as a little baby step.
Mm, she was a good cuddle.
But I barely know her.
Yes, well, the idea is that
you get to know her,
and then she's, you know,
somebody you know.
So do it! We gotta
do more things, Kara.
Okay, what is that?
Please tell me
you're not at home
on a Saturday night, printing.
What could possibly be
so important?
Nothing. Well, just,
I'm printing my coupons.
It's nothing.
We are talking about you.
(Jess' phone beeps)
(Jess gasps)
What?
He texted.
Already?
what did he say?
You know, I can't talk
and text and drive.
I'll call you tomorrow.
Wait.
What?
You didn't explain
the baby in the bar.
Oh! Baby of the owner's sister,
and a really mean drunk.
Okay, bye!
Okay bye!
(phone beeps)
I'm dreaming
Of a white Christmas
Just like the ones
I used to know
Where the treetops
glisten
And children listen
To hear sleigh bells
in the snow
I'm dreaming
Of a white Christmas
With every Christmas card
I write
May your days
be merry...
Are you the parents
of Jess Porter?
We have some news
about your daughter.
And may all
your Christmases
be white
And may all
your Christmases
be white
I've had Jess' eulogy
written for a while.
I know that sounds weird,
but...
Jess had mine written too.
We wrote them together
years ago.
The power was out,
the Santa Ana winds
I think, and, um...
we took that
as our cue to get
very deep and profound.
Um,
and Jess got on
some long speech about
life and death and, and how
we should eulogize each other,
then and there, together.
But...
(sniffs)
...this isn't
the Santa Ana eulogy.
'Cause, um...
nothing about this
is obvious...
or fair...
or okay.
(sniffs)
We were supposed to be 100.
(people laughing, chattering)
Ugh. Son of a...
Automated Voice:
I'm sorry, I didn't
Cancel existing reser
Please select one of
the following options.
Cancel reservation.
I'm sorry,
I didn't get that.
I need to cancel my reservation
because my friend is dead.
And she was supposed to show
me snow for the first time,
but now she can't
'cause she's dead!
So I need to cancel.
(exhales)
(sighs)
(humming)
(both humming)
(both screaming)
You You're alive?
What? Arare you
really seeing me?
Um, I think so.
Oh.
Are you
Are you really you?
Uh...
yeah, I think I'm me.
(both screaming)
Sorry.
Mm!
Are you
Did that hurt?
What? No, no.
No, it didn't hurt.
It's just
I'm just kind of freaking out
right now, you know.
Yeah.
Huh? Didn't feel
like anything.
Didn't feel like anything
'cause I'm dead.
But I'm seeing you?
Hmm? Yeah.
I know.
But, see,
I know I died.
Right, and I know
you died
'cause I was literally
at your funeral.
So...
I'm not alive.
At least not in the way
you were before.
Then what am I, Kara?
And why am I still here?
So, we see if my parents
can see me.
And if they can, we ask them
all the questions,
because adults know things.
Except these are
my parents here,
who have an annoying amount
of faith in me,
and every question I ask,
they just ask it back.
Like when you asked
if Hogwarts was real.
And they were like,
"Honey, what do you think?"
And then I applied there
for college.
No, you didn't.
I did.
Kara honey, hi.
Mom, hi.
Kara: Hi, Deb.
Deb: So good to see you.
Kara: To be clear,
just me, right?
Alex, Kara's here!
Come on in,
come on.
Come on in.
Mae: So the last thing
you said was,
"You're kinda great?"
Okay, I appreciate
the little sister concern, Mae,
but it doesn't matter,
I mean, things like this
happen all the time.
People meet,
they have a great date.
And then it ends. Poof.
No accountability.
Maybe she's dead.
Definitely.
My motto is dead
until proven shitty.
That being said,
if you like her,
why not just text her
once more?
You're making this more
complicated than it is.
Ben, you are not gonna get
into LACMA with sketches
of me doing chores
in the apartment.
Okay. So first of all,
you don't "get into" LACMA.
Second of all,
I'm just messing around
for this Christmas Eve
art show that I'm doing.
Christmas Eve art show
you're doing?
Yeah.
"From Selfie to Soulful.
What does Christmas Look Like
Without Any Filters?"
Uh, fix your face.
Look, I know, it's gimmicky,
but it's my first real show,
so, you know, get on board.
I'm on board.
You're the one defending
and critiquing it
at the same time.
Cacan I say anything
without you psychoanalyzing it?
I'm literally getting
my masters in psychology.
Yeah, yeah, I know,
I just, I just figured
you might lay off
the unsolicited shrinking
since, you know, Ruby broke up
with you for it.
(scoffs) Well, well, now
who's psychoanalyzing?
(mimicking) Well, well, well,
now who's psychoanalyzing?
You're not the only
psychologist in the family.
(Mae laughs)
You know, I wanted to see
how you guys were doing?
We're...
We're okay.
We're okay.
Hey, hey, Dad. Dad.
Kara:
Um, you don't, like, feel
Jess, like,
like she's
with you, like,
maybe, like,
she's sitting here or maybe
Yeah, sometimes.
Feel me now.
Feel me now.
(cell phone beeps)
(chuckling)
Especially when that happens.
We haven't had the heart
to turn her phone off yet.
Oh my god!
Oh my god, my phone.
I've never been this long
without it in my life!
Or death. (chuckles)
I probably have
so many push notifications.
Our favorite kind
of notification!
I'm sorry, what?
Oh, um, sorry,
my stomach is
I just don't feel...
Must, must have growled
or something.
Kara, aare, are you okay?
Kara: Yeah, um...
We should.
I think, I would feel better
if I could go up
to Jess' room,
alone for a minute.
So, I am the only one
who can see you.
Yeah, well.
I mean, I don't know.
I guess it's all your,
uh, your energy healing.
Hmm.
Like, think of
all the dates
you didn't go on
because you were busy
opening your third eye.
Way to take one
for the team, Kar.
I can't tell if you are
complimenting me or jabbing me.
It's a gratefuljab.
Speaking of.
I need your flesh hands.
Why?
My phone.
Oh, thank god.
Okay.
Okay.
Ooh!
You got so many things.
Oh my goodness.
Look at all these people
finally writing on my wall.
I know, right?
So popular.
All it took was dying.
(phone chimes)
(gasps)
Oh my gosh,
that guy Ben
just texted you again.
Oh.
Jess, that's a triple text.
Oh! Triple text!
Josephine Baker!
He sent me Josephine.
I know.
Too bad he'll think
you ghosted him.
Mm, yeah, you're right.
Ugh. I mean, I'm not a person
who ghosts people.
Yeah.
I mean,
if anything, I,
like, I ghost things.
Like, remember
my soup cafe idea called
Ladle.
And then my
paper shop idea called
Paper.
Yeah, I, I,
I guess I did kinda suck
at followthrough, huh?
There's just so much
I didn't get to do, or
or eat or see.
There's the big one,
which we can't really do
anything about now.
Madam President. Ugh!
Madam President. Ugh!
Oh, a woman in the Oval
was literally the only thing
that I knew for sure
I, like, wanted
and needed
and dreamed of.
Well, you know what?
Let's focus on the business
that we can fix.
Yeah, like things
that I wanted to do
but I just never
got around to.
Because maybe that's why
I'm still here.
And first, there's something we
need to take back to the bakery.
Little bit of naughty,
little bit of nice
She stole it
from your desk.
She was bitter...
and also loved Cher.
... good enough for me
Think about
them goodies...
Kara:
You have to learn
to ride a bike.
Stay up all night
I can't.
You can.
No, I mean, like,
I literally
I can't grab onto the handles
or, like, pedal the pedals.
Then how are you
sitting on it?
Your tangibility
is so confusing.
Okay, I'll just steer you.
Yeah, you got it!
(Kara laughs)
Wrap, wrap,
wrap it up
Oh my god! I did it!
I stood up.
Yeah!
This class is so fun!
I don't know why
I never finished it.
You do know you're supposed
to do that in the water, right?
Yes! Yes.
Aww.
(indistinct)
(gasps)
Yeah!
Oh! Yeah.
(indistinct)
Are you tired?
That was a lot
of unfinished business.
Hmm.
Well, I can't tell
if I'm tired or just...
you know, dead.
What if this is like
a 24hour layover for you?
Like, to wherever
you're going,
and then if we fall asleep,
then you disappear?
Hmm.
Just in case,
I should smell you.
You should what?
What?
(giggles)
Your saffron conditioner,
it's my favorite,
and I'll miss it the most.
All right.
(sniffs deeply)
You smell like nothing!
No.
(sniffs deeply)
Oh! Vanilla.
I can smell you. I didn't
even realize I could smell!
That's not fair.
That's not fair?
I see your point.
Hmm.
So, maybe
this is goodbye, then?
Yeah, but...
for, like, ever?
So maybe bye forever.
Maybe bye forever.
(birds squawking)
(screaming, laughing)
It wasn't just
a 24hour layover!
Why am I still here?
Why are any of us
still here?
Now I'm jumping alone!
Wait, though. Like, really.
Why am I still here?
Who cares?
Well, I
You know, being
a ghost yesterday
was, like, fun and exotic,
but today...
(sighs)
I'm just already
feeling antsy.
Jess! This is so like you.
Something's all shiny and new
and then you're like...
Over it. I know.
But what would this even be?
Just an eternity
of hanging around?
Like, the same thing
every day?
I mean, honestly,
that sounds kind of great.
Uh, yeah. 'Cause you love that
kind of monotonous stability.
Whoa! Jab?
Yes, it's a jab!
Aah! Too harsh.
Yeah.
It's just
What does it say about me
if I can't even die right?
Like, I'm failing
at the one thing
literally everyone does.
No.
You're not gonna fail
at this.
We just need an expert.
How special is this?
Oh!
Maya. Cancel all
of my appointments today,
except for Anne...
(mouthing)
...Hathaway.
Very needy.
So, Jess is here.
Oh, actually,
Chrissy, she's
Oh yes, of course, of course.
Jess, welcome.
And just to be clear,
for my notes,
you're seeing her with
your two main eyes, right,
not your third eye?
Mmhmm.
Chrissy: Oh, good for you.
She's actually, she's stuck.
Oh yes. Like she was
when she was alive?
What? You told her that?
I told her we both were.
She's my energy healer, Jess.
We talk, okay?
So, we tried looking up
different types of ghosts,
but we just got
so overwhelmed.
Ugh! It's overwhelming.
I mean, is she
a Tibetan Hungry Ghost,
is she an Undulating Cloud
of Blackness?
Ooh! That feels like me.
Whatever she is, what Jess
really needs is to ascend.
Okay, um...
is that like going
towards the light?
Jess, is there a light
you've been avoiding?
Nah. I wish.
Chrissy: When a ghost ascends,
they leave
this life behind.
They graduate
to another realm.
It's really the only "todo"
after you die:
live, die, ascend.
Okay. Then why hasn't
Jess ascended?
Mm. It's likely what you said,
she's... stuck.
She needs to unstick.
Wow. Okay, that's very clear.
Okay. Do you have any insight
into what might be keeping
her stuck?
(clears throat)
Often the only thing impeding
a ghost from ascending is...
love. But Big Love. Big Love!
Like either starting it,
finishing it,
or finding it
for the first time.
I didn't want to do
another Tommy Bahama
breathable linen for Dad,
but the man wants
what he wants.
Why are these shirts so limp?
And why are you so mopey?
I'm not.
That looks great.
You know what you're doing?
You, in your head, are
imagining that Jess is happy.
And that's dangerous.
I did that with Ruby and by the
end of my postbreakup fantasy,
she was running NASA.
I can prove Jess' life
isn't better than yours.
You don't even know
her name.
Yeah, yeah.
(keyboard clacking)
Is this her?
Oh my god.
What?
She's married?
Building a canal abroad?
Just had brunch?
She's dead.
What?
Her Facebook page is
a memorial page.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Umm...
Okay, what would help you
right now? A drink?
Right? We should
just go drink.
Okay so, Big Love
and then ascension.
Totally. Totally.
My only this is,
with Big Love, you know,
I don't think
I ever had it.
Really?
You didn't like Deshaun?
Like, wasn't he nice?
Yeah, but also, you know...
too nice and also
not nice enough.
Oh my god. Okay, you know what?
Our brains are too cluttered.
Let's do an energy cleanse!
Okay. Just because
you don't selfcare
doesn't mean I can't
for both of us.
Okay.
Right.
(clears throat)
We're gonna start
at the heart...
Mmhmm.
...and then
we're gonna go up
to the crown
and then release.
(Mae gasps)
Oh my god!
I'm so sorry!
I was doing...
It's okay.
...an energy demo on my,
uh, myself, and
Can I buy you another beer?
No, no, no. It was the
bottom bit of a cup of beer.
Plus, my brother and I still
have a whole half pitcher, so...
Kara:
Wow, a whole pitcher
with your brother?
Mae:
I know, it's very
"I'm single!" of me.
No! It's great.
No, it's not.
(both laugh)
Oh, you kept it.
Our first date pencil.
Wait, Jess?
Hmm?
Oh my god!
Wh Hold on.
Are you serious right now?
You can see me?
Jess, if you didn't want
to hear from me again,
you didn't have to create
a fake Facebook memorial page.
Oh, no. It's not fake!
I did die!
Oh, right. Okay.
Whatever you say.
Whatever who says?
Kara, he can see me!
Who are you?
Ben/Jess: Ben!
Oh my god, you're Ben!
So cute in person!
Jess: I know.
Uh, yeah,
this is my brother Ben.
Wait, who are you?
I'm Kara.
And I'm Mae!
My best friend, Kara.
Baby from the bar, Kara?
What baby?
And he can see me.
You can see her?
Of course I can see her,
she's right there!
Who is right where?
(Ben sighs)
You really don't see her?
Do I really not see a person
who is unequivocally not there?
No. I don't.
This is insane.
This is insane.
All right, I know,
it doesn't make any sense.
I believe you.
You do!
I believe that you just got
some big news about a girl
you maybe cared about
more than you thought you did,
and your grief is causing...
Like, remember with Mom?
Not everything
is about Mom.
I know that.
But this might be.
Chrissy was right about love.
About Big Love! He's it!
Maybe we were going to fall
in love, in Big Love
But then you died
before you could finish!
Which means we need
to finish our love story!
And to do that...
You need to keep dating
and then fall in more love
and then, ascension.
Mommy issues.
What?
Oh, I just think this might
have something to do
with Ben's issues
with our mom.
I mean, I can see Jess.
Do I have issues
with your mom, too?
(chuckles)
No, actually.
I think a cute girl
from the Farmers' Market
and my brother are having
a simultaneous delusion.
So you think I'm cute?
(chuckles)
Look, Ben, I mean,
you can see me.
YYou kept the pencil.
That has to mean something.
So...
here I am.
I'm just a ghost
standing in front
of an alive guy,
asking him to go
on a second date.
You're dead.
You're dead!
Um, Mae can't see you.
Yep.
Nobody else can.
I can't say yes to something
that's not...
Uh, you're not here.
All right, let's go.
It was it was nice
to meet you.
Bye.
(groaning)
Well, that's not really
what I meant by meditating.
It's the only sound
that will come out.
Kara?
Hmm?
Should we maybe, like, try,
you know, calling him?
No.
Or, like, maybe you
can find his address.
That way, we can
Haunt him?
I think maybe he didn't
understand what I was...
you know, asking him.
(sighs)
Here's what I think.
I think your Big Love
would meet you halfway.
And if Ben can't wrap
his head around you dying,
coming back, and wanting
to date, then he sucks.
And honestly,
it kinda makes me hate him.
Like, "almost considering
a Voodoo Doll" hate him.
We're gonna find it, okay?
Yeah.
And get you ascended.
Or ascend you.
(chuckling)
Yeah.
Mmhmm.
You know what I mean.
Thanks, Kara.
Well, I need to go
to work, but...
Hey, just in case,
'cause kind of
No idea what's going on?
Yeah.
Maybe bye
Maybe bye forever.
Okay, Connie, I'm adding
crushed guarana for caffeine,
so you can meet that deadline,
but I also want to add turmeric,
which is an antianxiety,
so you don't go insane.
It's about balance.
You're a miracle, Kara.
Have a good one.
Earl's gonna be so amped
to see you.
His eczema is
out of control.
Oh. Poor Earl.
He's such an itchy man.
(Kane chuckles)
Okay. So, no pressure, but...
I still haven't received
your application
for the Global Tea Program
Apprenticeship.
Morocco would be so beautiful
for you, Kara.
The tea culture there
is so essential:
the ceremony, the mastery,
the science, and
I know you lost your friend,
but imagine the healing.
Imagine how essential
it could be.
So essential.
(boy fussing)
(babbling, screaming)
Woman:
Ben?
Hi, I'm Jane.
Yeah. Hi.
Nice to meet you.
Umm, yeah, I hope it's cool
that we are, like... inside.
Oh yeah, inside's great.
Or outside, too.
Either, or.
Whatever you want!
Before bitter
before sweet
(inhales deeply)
Before you drifted off
to sleep
There is a part
where the two ends meet...
One. Two. Nope.
No. Exercise is still dumb.
No one wants to talk
about between
Oh my god,
I am so bored!
TV Host: And up next,
we have a timeless classic.
It's a Wonderful Life.
Starring Jimmy Stewart
and Donna Reed.
The movie that will change
my life.
(door opens)
Uh, hey, Kara. Hi.
Well, your hair's down.
You can touch your hair?
Yeah. I guess I can touch, like,
whatever's, you know, me.
Um. Hey, question.
Um, what day is it?
Mm, the 21st, why?
We have to go to the
Hollywood Forever Cemetery.
Now? I literally
just got home,
and I been working all day,
and it's almost night time.
Please.
Why?
Well
Oh.
'Cause cemetery means
dead people,
dead people mean ghosts
who can help us with ascension.
Obviously.
Yeah!
(people chattering)
It's a bit busy
for a Wednesday, no?
Yeah.
Unless.
Oh my god!
I'm so sorry.
Okay, he's not a ghost.
Uh, I'm just gonna
find out what's happening.
Okay.
Hey, sir.
Is this a seance or...
Man: It's our
Holiday Movie Series.
Tonight is
It's a Wonderful Life.
Okay. Thank you.
So I guess this is just
a bunch of people
trying to see
a movie at a cemetery.
(chuckles)
You know what?
Uh, let's just...
Let's just go, Kar.
Great.
Hi.
Hi.
You remembered.
Yeah, I did.
And you're really here.
Mmhmm.
I really, really am.
I don't know why you couldn't
just tell me why we were
coming here.
I Because you just gave me
a whole speech
on how he sucks
and how he isn't worth it!
Yeah, but you can't just
legislate when and how
I get to be there for you.
Yes, I Sorry.
Anyway! Um,
I'm a terrible third wheel
so, Jess, I can come get you
in a couple hours?
I can, I can take Jess home.
You know, and then that way,
you have the night off.
Okay, yeah!
Okay, so per your text,
here is a datekit,
so you can pretend to be
on a date with a ghost,
because clearly enabling
is what I do best.
Thanks, Mae.
Night, Jess.
Mae:
Oh.
Oh! Cute Farmer's Market Girl.
Yeah. Oh!
Please, just call me Cute.
(both laugh)
Um, I'm actually
about to leave.
Oh!
Well, are you still
gonna do that?
I don't know. I mean,
I kinda feel like a walk now.
You around?
(indistinct chatter)
He'll be fine. Let's do it.
You know,
when you mentioned a walk,
I never could have imagined
something as enchanting as this.
(chuckles)
Well, I'm full of surprises
and the world's
tiniest bladder.
Does anyone have
hand sanitizer?
Oh yeah. I do, actually.
Um, hold this.
Oh yeah.
Thank you.
That.
What's this? It says you can go
to Morocco for three months.
Oh yeah. It's just
a tea internship thing.
You can just toss that.
But isn't tea what
you're focusing on right now?
Yeah, but, you know,
my best friend is stuck
between two realms,
so right now is kinda
getting pushed to later.
Wouldn't she want you
to go?
She doesn't know.
We try to have big
exciting things happening
at the same time
so no one feels left out,
you know.
And right now, she just
doesn't have anything, so...
She's... dead.
Exactly.
Oh, um...
I, I have it.
I have it for you.
Woman: Thank you.
...that shoot out of
your fingers and your toes
and the ends of your hair.
Am I talking too much?
Yes!
(laughter)
Man: Why don't you
kiss her instead of
talking her to death?
James Stewart:
How's that?
Man:
Why don't you kiss her
instead of talking her
to death?
Want me to kiss her, huh?
Ah, youth is wasted
on the wrong people.
Can I ask you something?
Hmm?
What's it like?
Uh...
I don't know,
it feels the same.
Almost normal even.
Except...
like, okay, so I can sit next
to you, but I can't touch you.
And...
I don't know, it's like
I'm almost a person.
Can I ask you
a question?
No.
(deep voice) Please.
(chuckles)
Yeah.
What changed your mind?
About...
you know,
about all of this?
I mean...
if I'm being
really honest,
I was just on
a kind of bad date.
(gasps)
Oh no!
Yeah.
What, what was bad?
I mean, it I mean,
it wasn't terrible.
It just...
She just...
(stammers)
(laughs)
What?
No, I can't say that.
Say it.
Come on. Say it!
Say it!
Okay, all right, all right.
Say it!
She just,
she just wasn't you.
Yeah, you're right.
That was pretty lame.
You know...
Bet you regret that.
I just let out my heart,
and you just stomped on it.
Yeah.
Um...
(both laugh)
That's interesting.
What?
You can still blush.
(giggles)
What are you doing tomorrow?
Oh, I wanted to ask you:
do you think this whole
"ghost relationship
as a method for grieving"
would make
an interesting paper
for my
Abnormal Psychology class?
I could interview you,
I could interview Kara.
Oh, or, I don't know,
maybe you could just
ask her out
like a normal person,
instead of trying
to turn her into
some sort
of psychological study.
You're the guy dating
a dead person.
Okay, I know you don't see her,
but she's there.
The same way Kara is.
Well, not exactly
the same way.
I'm just saying,
you should try it.
Dating a ghost?
No.
Dating without
a textbook for once.
Hey, Ben?
I'm here if you need me.
You know that, right?
Yeah, girl.
Okay, and then this would be,
like, you know, if he teases me.
And I like it
but I don't want him
to know that I like it.
So I'd be like.
Yeah, that's good.
Wha...
You weren't even looking.
I mean, it's just, like,
if you go on this date
and we're right about Big Love,
then you might never come back.
What? Yeah.
I mean, I know, but...
(knocking on door)
Ah! Wait, he's here.
And I feel like,
I feel weird.
Oh, no, no, no.
Don't feel weird.
Okay, um, we're good,
we're good, we're good.
Okay. So you're gonna go
on this date.
Okay.
We're gonna "Maybe Bye Forever,"
just in case,
and then you're gonna
fall in love
and then you're gonna ascend.
Okay, look,
I'm not gonna fall in love.
It's the second date.
I mean,
I wouldn't be too sure.
Okay, well...
Just in case,
the Maybe Bye Forever?
That's why we say it.
That's why we mean it.
Together:
Maybe bye forever.
(whispers)
Alright.
(both laughing)
Yeah, I, I just figured
it'd be good
to have some things
to smell.
Jess:
Oh stop.
You're so sweet.
These smell great.
Man: Sir?
Did did you want
to buy that?
Uh...
Well
It's, it's cool. I
No, that's great.
Yeah. Let's do it.
Well, I mean, it's just that
lilies kind of remind me of
Oh, um, I'm sorry.
No, don't be sorry.
Like a bad prom date
or something?
Uh, no. Just my funeral.
Oh!
From that time I died.
Yeah. Uh, sorry.
No, it's
Do you want us
Should we,
should we bail
for something better?
Yeah.
Yeah, bail for something. Yeah.
And then my husband tells me
that my inlaws are now staying
through New Year's
and I immediately have
a neck spasm.
Okay. Well, I I want you
to let this cool.
When you get home, I want you
to sit down, breathe in...
(inhales)
...breathe out...
(exhales)
...and when you
feel still, sip.
You'll be spasmless
by Christmas.
You angel.
(laughs)
Have a great Christmas!
You too.
Mae: Wow!
Did you just drug
that lady?
She kind of just needed
permission to slow down.
I mean, most people do,
and just a hot cup
of tea does that.
Oh, I'm, I'm the girl who,
oh, is being haunted
by a ghost, so...
Yeah. You probably
just think I'm nuts.
You know,
normally I'd agree.
But since I just staked out
three different Meridian
Markets looking for you,
I am not one to talk.
You did?
Yeah.
Why?
(chuckles)
Not sure.
My brother is off
with your mutual ghost today,
and it just got me thinking
about how not easy your life
probably is right now.
Yeah.
Not really.
Hmm.
Well, first,
it sounds like you owe yourself
some of that slowdown tea.
(chuckles)
And second,
since "Jess"
is with Ben today,
you're free, right?
I mean...
technically.
Great.
I live for technicalities.
(chuckles)
Just so I can
emotionally prepare,
did you bring me here
to rob this museum?
'Cause I'll do it.
For you.
I'll do it.
When items aren't on display,
the museum, they store them
down here.
It's offlimits
to the general public.
Oh!
So, how are we here?
They forgot to deactivate
my intern badge
from the summer of 2016,
so...
Oh!
No, dodon't touch that.
Right. Ghost. Yup.
Well, but on principle,
no touching.
Touch it. Touch.
No.
This is one
of my favorites.
This is... So, you see
how it looks from a distance.
It just kind of looks
like normal paint.
Uhhuh.
It's pastel.
What?
Yeah. I mean...
In my opinion,
pastel's underused,
so people should
use it more.
I agree.
Um...
this is definitely
one of my least favorites.
But people stand in line
for hours to see it.
So, here you are.
Wow.
Art.
(both laugh)
This one over here is...
Kara: I didn't realize
LA even had ice skating.
(Mae chuckles)
Kara: It's such an oxymoron.
The Midwesterner in me
can't do Christmas
without at least
the suggestion of winter.
You know, I've actually
never even seen snow.
Jess and I were supposed
to go to Big Bear Mountain,
um... and I
Sorry, I don't mean
to keep talking about her
reminding you
how crazy I am.
You're not crazy.
I'm not?
When I was seven,
Ben was twelve...
our Mom died.
For the first eight months
after, I ate cereal
for, like, every meal.
I was obsessed.
It was the last thing
that she gave me,
and I thought
if I just ate enough,
maybe she'd come back,
like I could breakfast her
back to life.
I guess what I'm trying
to say is that
grief is a ridiculous,
personal, unyielding thing.
And I'm not gonna get in the
way of someone else's cereal.
(Kara sniffs)
(cell phone rings)
Hey, Kane,
everything okay?
What?
Okay.
That's I didn't
Okay!
Yeah. Okay. Bye.
That was so weird.
Hmm.
My manager just said
that I, um,
I got into
the Morocco TeaOff,
which I guess is some final
step to the Morocco program,
but I never even applied.
So...
So don't hand me
an application
in a cemetery bathroom line
if you don't want me
to secretly submit it.
Ben:
This is...
a chair.
Wow.
I sat in it
when I was an intern
and, and it, obviously,
it broke,
because it's like
300 years old.
Mmm.
Oh no.
Oh god, I'm now a guy,
like, telling you about how
he sat in a chair and broke it
in his mid20s, which
So are you, like, super bored?
Do you, do you hate this?
You hate it.
I don't hate it.
I love it.
It's perfect.
Then why does your face
look like that?
Just ignore my face.
My face doesn't know
what it's talking about.
Mmm. I don't want
to ignore your face,
is the thing.
I just, I
I don't know,
I wanna know about...
all the museum chairs
you broke in your 20s.
It's only this one.
I mean that there is
a lot more to know about you.
And for you to...
know about me.
And, uh...
I don't know.
I'm feeling like
what people feel,
you know,
when they...
fall for people, which means
that Chrissy was right,
which is just, like,
completely insane.
I, I thought she had no idea
what she was talking about,
but she
So now I'm...
super confused.
Right.
Mmhmm.
Well, uh...
so, Kara and I went to see
her energy healer, Chrissy,
and Chrissy said that
I'm stuck between worlds
because, you know,
Big Love is, uh,
it's making me unable
to ascend,
and then, I just,
I Listen.
I'm not the kind of girl who
falls in love on a second date.
I'm not crazy.
But this just,
it feels really different,
and it feels really good.
And it also feels
really terrible
because it's making me
not want to ascend at all,
and I should have
told you sooner
and maybe also...
your face is doing a thing,
and I probably
shouldn't have said anything.
So you're using me to ascend.
No.
Yes.
A little bit. I
Now that I'm hearing it out
loud, it does kind of sound
like that.
Um... do you wanna just go?
Just don't.
Don't ascend.
I mean,
I can't just not.
Mmm.
And besides, you know,
the more time
we spend together,
the more we're gonna fall
for each other and...
That's presumptuous.
Is it, though?
All right.
Fine.
Then... let's make this
the best ascension of all time.
(Jess chuckles)
Ben: Basically,
we want to take
our relationship
to the,
to the next level.
Ben, I think maybe
just be super clear.
Is she talking right now?
What's she saying?
Yeah. We wanna...
Jess and I,
we want to be...
intimate.
Oh!
Yeah.
Oh.
Uh, is that something
you think
maybe you could, like,
help us with?
(Chrissy chuckles)
Yes! Of course.
Don't be silly.
Yes! Of course. I mean, it's
like You know, I have to,
like,
there's, like, some work
that has to be done
to try and connect, like,
the dots and stuff,
you know.
Let me just...
(clears throat)
Oh, wait.
Yes. Yes!
Teachings say
"interdimensional tangibility
is possible..."
No, no. One moment,
one moment, one moment,
"When the...
"When the couple aligns
their desires
"with...
the Winter Solstice."
That is when the walls between
the two worlds are the thinnest.
Ah.
So when's that?
Wh Uh, when's that?
When's that?
Oh, just, uh, one moment,
one moment, let me just...
Whoa, that's,
that's now, actually!
Christmas time.
That's festive!
Says "The partners must tell
their truths
without filter of the hearts."
Oh.
That's it?
Chrissy: That is it.
That'll work?
Oh yeah.
Only if it doesn't
will it not.
Jess: Wow. You're, like,
setting the scene.
And you have a bed
in your studio?
Crazy.
You, uh,
you do this a lot?
Uh, no, I, I sleep here
enough that
that it makes sense
to have...
I mean,
I, I don't ever do this.
Um
I mean, no
I mean...
like, I do this...
I don't...
I've done it.
Oh, well, good for you.
Yeah. Yeah.
(both laugh)
Oh wow!
This is ridiculous!
So ridiculous.
Um...
Okay, so if we
were gonna do
what Chrissy said to do,
what would we...
do?
Uh, well, she said
that we should
tell our total truths.
Whatever that means.
What do you think it means?
I don't know. Um...
I guess I'm just terrified
that I don't really have one.
I've never really been
very good at knowing
what my truth was.
I'm scared, too.
Because, I mean,
the closer we get,
the more gone
you are, and...
I mean, I've never felt
like this about anybody, and...
and I don't, don't think
I ever will again.
Wait.
I just did that.
Did you feel that?
Yeah.
Can you feel that?
Yeah.
Try something else.
(seagulls squawking)
Jess?
Jess?
Have yourself
a merry little Christmas
Let your heart be light
She ascended, Kara.
From now on
Our troubles will be
out of sight...
Okay.
When I woke up,
she was gone.
I think what Ben is trying
to say is that,
he's finally starting
to process Jess' death,
right, Ben?
From now on...
I just kind of, you know...
thought I would be there.
You were there
for everything else.
(voice breaking)
Everything else wasn't enough.
As in olden days
Happy golden days...
(laughing)
Faithful friends...
Are you laughing?
Gather near to us
Sorry.
(sniffs)
It's like, okay, what now?
You know?
What do you do when your
ghost best friend ascends?
I can't just, like,
lalala, go to work.
You know? Like...
Well, what would
Jess want you to do
if the situations
were reversed?
She'd cry, obviously.
Which you've done.
I mean...
She did always love
when I made her PizzainaPot
and...
Pizza in a what?
It's like this dish
with red sauce and cheese
and bread and pasta
and just all mixed
into a pot.
Huh?
So... pasta?
Yeah.
Okay.
Uh, yeah. I mean...
But like
...I think we can manage that.
Jess: So, clearly,
Ben wasn't my Big Love,
and Kara is moving on.
I guess it's up to me.
Uh, so...
hi, Jess.
Good to see you.
You look great.
I just...
I want to forgive you...
us...
me for...
for just constantly
judging myself on...
how well
I was doing life...
For all of it.
I think I...
I think I actually did do...
some good stuff...
somewhere in there...
even if I didn't always
finish everything.
I see that now,
and I love myself for it.
And maybe...
maybe that's exactly the kind
of love that I need
to ascend.
And so...
(exhales)
...I love you, Jess.
I said...
I love you, Jess!
Hi, honey.
Mama.
Hey, pumpkin.
Hi.
Hey, guys...
I don't know
what I'm doing.
I know you always said
that I could figure
anything out, but...
You know, that my answer was
the right answer but...
She liked these.
But...
well, there is a right answer.
There is a way to ascend,
and I don't,
I don't know what it is,
and I need your help, and I
can't even get you to see me!
I miss her.
(chuckles)
Alex:
You know what I miss
most about her?
What?
I miss the way
she chewed.
(laughs)
Alex.
God, she just chewed
like a monster!
Wha... What?
Alex: I know.
She could make a stick of gum
sound like a chicken wing.
I did not do that.
That was just
Jess being Jess.
Has everyone been talking
about this?
All over the place,
passionate...
Yeah.
Deb:
You realize
we created this just...
curious, complicated
little being and...
Alex: All you want
to do is watch her grow.
Right?
Mmhmm.
Hey, I
I'll keep growing.
I will.
Even if it's not,
you know...
like the way we thought
it was gonna be
and even if it's not...
here, I'm...
I'm gonna keep growing.
(gasps)
You remember
what Kara said about...
about feeling her presence?
I feel her.
I feel her right now.
Me too.
Oh!
Alex. Me too.
Deb: Yeah.
Oh, I feel her.
How is Kara,
by the way?
Deb: Oh yeah.
Alex: Do we know?
I forgot to tell you.
She, um...
she might be doing this
tea program through Meridian
that's, um, three months
in Morocco!
Alex: Oh wow!
Uh, wait, what?
Wow. Do you know what?
She's doing what?
I think that'd be good
for her, to get away.
You know.
Deb: Yeah.
Yeah.
Wait.
I was glad she called.
Wait.
Not just because
of the opportunity,
but, you know, she...
she wanted us to know.
Mmhmm.
Yeah.
But why wouldn't she
want me to know?
Kara: You guys
have everything?
Mae: Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Thanks.
Jess?
How could you not tell me
about Morocco?
I thought you said
she ascended!
I thought she did!
Kara: How long have you been
standing outside my door?
Gonna take a shot
in the dark here
and say Jess is back.
You were gone when I woke up.
I thought
Wait, did you ghost me?
What? No.
I didn't ghost you.
I mean, well, yes.
Yeah, technically.
But it's just because
when I woke up,
you were,
you were all cute,
and it was like someone hit
the reset button
and I couldn't
touch you anymore.
And I told myself
not to get upset.
Like, okay. All right.
Maybe I didn't ascend,
but maybe that means
we could just date...
forever.
And I thought I'd go and get
us some croissants and coffee,
cause, you know,
that's adorable, right?
That's adorable,
except I couldn't,
'cause I can't do anything
'cause I'm dead.
And it was all
a little bit too much
and so yes, I left.
I'm sorry. But right now,
I need to talk to you.
(Ben scoffs)
Kara: Mae.
Oh. Right.
Guess we're leaving.
Sorry.
So, uh, how long have you been
planning to go to Morocco?
It's not even for sure.
Fine.
Thinking about planning to go.
I don't know, a month, maybe!
(laughs)
Okay. You know what, Kara,
for someone who is so open
and honest
and one with herself,
you are a pretty
topnotch liar.
Are you kidding me
right now?
I didn't lie to you,
I just didn't want you
to feel bad about yourself!
'Cause you never have
anything going on
that you actually care about.
And I felt like
you'd resent it,
because you just need me to be
just as stuck as you are.
Uh, I'm so sorry. I didn't
realize I was keeping you
from everything you wanted
in life. My bad!
Yeah. Your bad.
You know what?
You're always jabbing at me
as like, as like a way to
To, like, what, Kara?
Hold me back.
To hold you back?
Okay. All right.
Well, you know
what I think, actually?
I think that you love
that I have nothing going on.
I think that you love that
I have no idea what I'm doing.
Because I think
it makes you feel
completely better
about yourself,
but you know what?
At least I try
new things, you know.
Maybe they don't last
that long,
but at least I'm not gonna
spend my entire life
brewing the exact same
cup of tea.
(scoffs)
You won't spend your whole life
doing anything, Jess!
You died.
You left.
You wanted us to take
baby steps and do stuff?
Well, guess what,
now, you can't.
I'm the one still here,
and I have to do it
without you.
Well, I'm not gonna
feel bad for you
that you're still alive, Kara!
Great. No problem.
Then I'm done feeling bad
that you're dead.
Great.
I
Cacan you please open
the door for me? Please.
(Chrissy chanting indistinctly)
(door opens, closes)
You were wrong.
Kara, I'm right in the middle
of a light orb double bypass.
You said to trust myself.
You said to believe
in myself.
But I don't know what the hell
I'm doing, Chrissy,
because you don't know
what you're talking about!
Uh...
You told me that
this was gonna be
the biggest year
of my life,
and it has been the worst.
You were wrong.
About Big Love,
about ascension,
about all of it.
But I I do truly hope your
light is replenished, ma'am.
Please don't put this
on my Yelp review.
(door slams)
(sniffs)
(sighs)
(chuckles)
Well?
This one's good.
Minty and watery.
Oh my god, I'm not gonna win
a trip to Morocco
or get my tea blend sold
in stores next year
with minty and watery.
Wait, they'll sell your tea
next year in actual Meridians?
Yeah. As part
of their Holiday rollout
which is why
they're judging the teas
at this year's
Christmas Eve party.
It's like a whole thing.
Let me try this one.
No, I
I didn't even mean
to brew that one.
But you did.
Okay, but I must've been
on autopilot
or something here.
Kara. That is so good!
(sighs)
No, really.
I'm not even a tea person,
which I probably should have
told you sooner,
but that tastes,
I don't know,
it's just perfect,
like I want more immediately.
Well, I'm not gonna use it,
okay, Mae?
It will literally win you
the entire
I don't want to win with it!
It's Jess' saffron tea
that I made for her,
because of her, and I I don't
want anything to do with it.
Kara, I really think
that you should
Let's just go
with the watery mint.
But the watery mint's
not gonna
Win?
Cool. Great.
I didn't want to do
this stupid competition anyway,
and, and that's why
I didn't apply
in the first place
and probably why someone
should have respected that.
Let's just forget about it.
That's bullshit.
What?
You think
this is about Jess?
This is about you.
This is about you
using Jess' death
as an excuse
to not do anything.
Great, therapy time.
Actually, yeah.
You think Jess is stuck?
Well, guess what,
she's not the only one.
You're so preoccupied
with a ghost,
you're barely here, Kara.
And as someone
who wants you here,
it sucks to see that,
and it sucks
to be around it.
But doesn't it suck
for you, too?
(carolers singing
Silent Night)
Is there a presence there?
Hello?
Fill me with your presence.
Make yourself known to me.
Oh my god.
Look, honey.
I have been saying your name
for ten minutes,
and I don't know how much more
known I can make myself
Ugh!
There's no presence,
there's no ghost.
I'm just one big fat fraud.
But, Chrissy,
I, I am here,
and I need to be not here.
And I can't keep sleeping
in Bed, Bath, & Beyond!
(cell phone beeping)
I can't
Go for Chrissy.
Ugh! Saul.
No, I'm fine. I...
One of my other clients
is a little stuck.
I mean, her best friend
is stuck and...
Yes, exactly!
Kara is, is so loyal.
Almost to a fault.
Yeah, that's true.
Wait. Wait!
(gasps)
Is that snow?
Huh, snow?
Chrissy: Oh!
We were supposed to see
the snow together.
Chrissy:
It is snow!
Oh my god!
Oh my god!
Chrissy, you're a genius!
You were right!
About Big Love.
About, about all of it.
But I was just wrong
about who it was.
I, I got to go.
Oh! Well, that's not snow.
That's just canyon
fire ash. Ooh!
What's up, Jess?
I need your help.
Uh, itit's for Kara, and
Jess, you ghosted me.
Yeah, II know.
I know, but
You can't just waltz in
and out of people's lives
like it's nothing.
Well,
to be fair, I've barely been
in your life,
so to be out isn't
necessarily...
Well, I I guess I just thought
that you'd get over me.
Yeah, well...
maybe that's not
a bad idea.
Hey, you know I wasn't
even looking forward
to our first date.
Your emoji usage alone
was quite concerning.
And, uh, then I met you.
And you were...
you, and...
I just liked you...
so much...
(sighs)
...and I thought, like,
wow, okay, I mean...
this must be why people...
stick with things,
this feeling.
And then I died.
Because...
I don't know, maybe
the Universe was mad at me.
The Universe wasn't mad
at you, Jess.
But, I mean,
really though, it...
it wasn't your fault.
I looked at my phone,
you know.
This one's on me.
Yeah, it's too bad because
I'll probably never open up
to a girl
the way I did with you,
constantly afraid
she'll die.
Or worse, god,
die and not ascend.
Oh, hey, I
What happened with us
should make you...
You can and you should
open up to people!
I was just kidding.
Right.
Well, let's jump on Tinder.
Start swiping. Time is
of the essence.
Well, I mean,
before I meet anybody new,
I've got to...
finish my third piece
for the show tomorrow
and by finish,
I mean start at all
and then finish.
Mmhmm.
Well, that's actually
why I'm here.
Um...
I think we can help
each other.
I'm honestly impressed
with myself.
(Jess giggles)
Ben:
Good morning.
I think I was stupid.
Uh, sorry, Mae,
but Jess is
I Rubyed, Kara.
She didn't want
to submit for Morocco,
and I full on analyzed her
and told her she was using
Jess' death
as an excuse to stay
completely paralyzed
and not brew her tea
for the competition.
But who am I
to decide that for her?
Ugh. God.
Controlling Mae isn't cute.
It just isn't,
and I need to just stop.
Man, I'm sorry, Mae.
But maybe
Hey, Ben, I have an idea!
I think it might help us
with Kara and also Mae.
Um, so, could you
tell her. Just
Maybe what? Keep talking.
Sorry.
Jess is here. She is saying, uh,
we're working on something
that we need your help with,
but it would also help you
with Kara, too.
"Jess is here?"
You know, I'm sick of your
little air quotes, all right!
What is happening?
Ben: I wanna guess
how many fingers.
Ben, come on.
Ben: No.
Um, I, I can't see anything.
Jess will tell me how many
fingers you're holding up,
and then I'll tell you,
and then you'll believe us!
Oh, she's doing, like,
a strangly thing.
Stop doing
the little strangly thing.
That's not nice.
You're not slick.
You know I do that.
Oh.
Jesus.
Four fingers.
Oh, and a leg up.
Four fingers
and a leg up.
Cool?
What the hell.
How can I help you guys?
Jess: Oh
She looked right at me.
What are the odds?
I owe you an apology.
You don't have to do that.
I want to.
Your life is yours, Kara.
I was excited for you, yes,
but it's more important
that you're excited for you.
I overstepped
and overanalyzed, and...
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, too.
I know you were just
trying to help,
and I'm usually the helper,
so it was hard for me.
Anyway, I like
that you overanalyze.
You do?
Yeah.
It's hard to avoid
your own shit
when a girl you like
is putting your face in it.
(Kara giggles)
What a nice, kind of
gross thing to say.
Come with me
to Ben's show.
Kara: Thank you.
Aww, such manners.
(giggles)
Oh, they're here. Go. Go.
Hey, Kara.
Kara, hi.
Hi. So, um...
I think I figured it out!
Kara.
Wait. Hello?
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
She can't see me!
I can see you, I just don't
want to talk to you right now.
Oh.
Is that Jess?
Hi, Mae.
You can hear her?
No, not technically but...
But you live
for technicalities.
Never too late
to change a little.
Hey, Kara. Can we please talk
Kara: Mmmmm.
Good evening, all!
We are ready to begin.
Benjamin, would you like
to start?
(applause)
So, uh, yeah, when I heard
about the theme for the show,
I started thinking
about this idea of filtering
and how obsessed
we all are with,
like, presenting
this perfect version
of ourselves.
And I liked what
the show was asking:
like, what happens
when we remove the filters,
and just let ourselves
be ourselves?
I wanted this Christmas
to, to showcase just that:
those soulful, honest,
holiday moments,
whether they're perfect
or not.
That might mean...
being...
angry.
(laughter)
Or, uh, it might mean being,
you know, super sad.
Kara, I
Ben: Um...
Shh!
(clears throat)
Ben: But you know, sometimes,
sometimes, we get lucky,
and our most honest moments
happen to be
our most perfect ones.
Thank you.
(audience applauding)
It's an Apology Portrait.
We were supposed to have...
the most amazing trip
to Big Bear,
and I was supposed
to be with you
the first time you saw snow.
But that couldn't happen.
We were supposed
to have, like...
a million more firsts,
and lasts together,
and all of it, uh
But we don't get
any of that, anymore.
Jess, don't.
It's you, Kar.
I mean, I died thinking
that I still needed
to find my soul mate,
still needing that Big Love
that people always talk about.
But...
(chuckles)
I already had it.
I have it.
It's my best friend.
It's you.
And I think I,
I think I...
maybe I always knew it
deep down.
I think I did, too.
Really?
But I was scared.
You know,
because that meant...
that you were gonna leave
for real,
forever.
And...
And I'm still scared, but...
But... our baby steps
are going different ways.
And we need to take them
on our own.
Mmhmm.
(sniffles)
Kara, you have
to go to Morocco.
(exhales)
I know, I
I mean, next year,
I guess but...
I didn't send in
my submission,
and they pick
the winner tonight, so...
Oh, well, you know, I...
I actually just got,
uh, Ben and Mae
to take your saffronJess tea
to Kane earlier.
Jess, we literally
just talked about
how we have to take
our own baby steps!
Oh. Yeah.
Right. Well
I don't know, maybe
we just think of this
as, like, as our last...
"together step."
And this time, it's not me
holding you back, you know.
This time,
I'm just a ghost...
standing in front
of her best friend...
asking her to fly.
(Kara chuckles)
(both laugh)
You want to come in
with me?
No. This is all you.
Right.
Okay. Here I go.
Hey, uh, Kara, wait!
Hug me.
Yeah, right.
No, no, really! I...
I think we might be able to,
because of what Chrissy said
about the thin walls
and telling our truths
and I don't know,
cause it's Christmas Eve.
Okay.
Oh! Actually,
that reminds me!
Um, will you tell Chrissy that
when she was outside her office,
on the phone with a client,
and she felt a presence,
that it was me and she's not
a big fat fraud?
Chrissy does phone sessions?
Yes. Will you tell her?
(chuckles)
I will.
Okay.
(Jess gasps)
(both laugh)
Woman:
Kara Shafer, you're up.
(people chattering)
Hey. Hey.
Kara!
Oh! You're just in time.
The judges are about
to taste your tea.
This saffron component
is remarkable.
Do we have a winner?
Congratulations, young lady.
Oh my god. Really?
(crowd applauding)
Way to go, Kara!
Oh my god.
Merry Christmas, Kara.
Merry Christmas, Jessie.
(sniffs)
Falling down
The snow is falling down
(inaudible dialogue)
Coming out
Life is coming out...
You know, New Year
New Me, as they say.
They do say that,
don't they?
Yeah.
Mae: You sure
we can't drive you?
It would be very easy
to immediately unload that car.
No. Airport commutes
destroy relationships,
and I won't have it.
Not true.
Fine.
Bring me back a souvenir.
I will.
You can give it to me
on our Welcome Back
Kara Date.
Aww! The official first date.
How exciting and stuff!
I know, right?
(chuckles)
Okay. Here I go.
Talk to lots of strangers.
Kara: I will!
Bells are ringing loud
But I'm so cold
Jess: And he sent it back
how many times?
Ten times.
What? Okay.
Ascended Steve Jobs sounds
super particular.
I mean, a martini's a martini.
Right?
Right.
Ben: Jess?
Oh no!
Oh no!
Ben: Oh no!
Hi, what are you
doing here?
Um, cardiac embolism.
Oh!
Yeah.
I'm super dead.
Damn!
Bam.
Damn, that's crazy.
So what is that, like,
is it like, a broken heart?
Probably that's what that is.
Not a broken heart.
Not a broken heart.
Okay.
Broken.
But still sad and untimely.
Yes. Right. Tragic.
Ugh, I'm sorry.
And poor Mae!
Well, I think since her whole
experience with you,
she's been thinking about
all of this very differently.
You know, all this.
Mm.
Trivia night.
Oh. (chuckles)
Should we?
Oh yeah.
I
Oh, no, wait.
I'm sorry. I'm having
a hard time hearing you
over the fact that
we're absolutely doing this.
I, I would love to, but...
I actually have plans.
No, yeah, uh...
Yeah. Right.
Of course you do.
Of course you do.
I, uh, shouldn't
have assumed.
Oh, no, no, no!
Assume me.
Assume me. I love it.
I just, I just have something
that I gotta go do.
But it's Trivia Night
every night here, like, forever.
So, um, you know...
next game?
Yeah. Yeah, next game.
Okay.
Finally made it home
Bye.
Yeah, I'm back
where my heart belongs
It's her Visiting Day.
She never misses it.
Gifts are wrapped
underneath the tree
Fire cracks,
sippin' something sweet
It's been forever
Here comes the snowfall
Gather together
Sing all
the old songs...
The frothy top is sugar.
Moroccan caramelization.
And this...
is on the house.
A woman Santa cookie.
Love it.
Happy opening week.
Thank you.
Hey, boss.
I was gonna take off.
Yeah, go. It's Christmas.
Okay. Are you sure
you'll be good on your own?
Go. I'll be fine.
I'll be fine. Go.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Gather together
Sing all the old songs
I got this.
Toss in the home town
Yeah, you do.
No matter what
we're going through
I just wanna celebrate
with you
Ooh, ooh, ooh
I just wanna celebrate
with you
Sleigh bells ring
are you listening?
In the lane
snow is glistening
A beautiful sight
we're happy tonight
Walking in
a winter wonderland
Gone away
is the bluebird
Here to stay
is a new bird
He sings a love song
As we go along
Walking in
a winter wonderland
In the meadow
we can build a snowman
And pretend that he is
Parson Brown
He'll say,
are you married?
We'll say, no man...
Jess.
Yeah?
I thought
we discussed this.
Yeah, I know, we did,
but then I talked
with myself some more
and I realized it's just
so relevant, you know,
like, why can't a woman
be Santa Claus?
A female Santa cookie
is deviating from design.
Yeah, but, I mean, Sherry,
how can we burn down
the patriarchy if we don't
It's just cookies, okay.
You can shatter
the glass ceiling
on your lunch break.
(cell phone rings)
Yes?
I got off work early.
Can I come be with you
before my date tonight?
Oh my god, were you fired?
Sherry and I had
a mutual parting of ways.
Jess, did you do that thing
where you project
a feminist agenda
onto inanimate objects?
Do I do that?
When you worked
at that pottery place,
you told that guy that his bowl
was bodyshaming you.
Hey, listen,
it was a gravy boat,
and it had zero curves.
Ugh, but that's why I loved
that bakery job.
So many stolen baked goods
to taste test.
So much better than
when you were a tutor
and always brought home
algebra worksheets.
Okay, we both know
those helped you
with your taxes.
Wait.
What smells amazing?
A new tea I wanted you
to taste test.
Oh, is this
from Meridians?
No, not work related.
Just kinda like for my own
personal collection.
Okay.
Wait, it
it smells like me.
Mmhmm!
You guessed it.
It's a you tea.
Hmm.
I infused it with saffron
just kinda like your
My overpriced conditioner
that you hate because of
all of its parabens!
Mmhmm. (chuckles)
Wow!
Now I can finally drink
something that reminds me of me.
You know.
Every girl's dream.
Hmm. Is it nice?
Being so good at the thing
you know you want to do?
You'll find your thing, Jess.
Hmm.
I can't help that nothing meets
my expectations
Well,
when your expectations
are extremely high
and require perfection,
you can.
So simple.
Ooh, maybe you can try
on your date tonight.
Oh yeah, well,
he uses emojis in his bio,
so I have
medium hopes at best.
But, you know,
at least I'm putting
myself out there.
Is that a jab?
Yeah, it's a love jab.
But anyway, uh, can you
help me pick an outfit?
I brought seven options.
(phone rings)
Wha...
Hey, Kara,
you can't call me right now!
Especially not
with your whole face.
You said that
he was in the bathroom.
Not like, indefinitely.
Kara:
Okay, just leave me
on the bar, like a coaster.
Like a coaster?
When have you ever
seen me use a coaster?
Oh, I forgot to ask.
Um, is this ski mask
just too intense
for the Big Bear
Mountain trip?
Oh!
Hmm.
Oh no.
Uh. Oh no.
Oh no
I didn't mean for you
to see me this way.
Were you calling
for a date rescue?
A what?
Okay.
I find onsite
friendspies
to be a lot more effective.
Yes, absolutely.
You see that lady?
I see that baby.
That's my friend Kara.
So, careful.
Mmhmm. Okay, good.
Yeah, good, great.
Because then I won't
mess with her,
that baby, as I had definitely
been planning to do.
Oh man,
that is so like you,
always going to bars
and messing with babies.
This is Kara, your friend
with the oncall
energy healer, right?
Uh, yeah, wait,
how did you know that?
Earlier when you were talking
about your best friend Kara
with a oncall
energy healer...
Right.
...and I was just going with
Yes, of course, I'm sorry.
I'm on, like,
five first dates right now,
so I keep forgetting
who I'm telling what to.
That happens.
Not to me but, uh
Well...
I'm proud of you.
Thanks.
Minimum is two team members.
Jess: Oh.
Trivia night.
Did you know that?
Look at that.
Wow. Uh, no.
Is that a dealbreaker?
Dealmaker?
Mmm. Sorry, I'm having
a hard time hearing you
over the fact that
we are absolutely doing this.
Don't fight
you know it's right
Just stay a little longer
Don't play
'cause honestly
It's no secret
that I want ya
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
I'm addicted to you
And you know it's true
I'm addicted to you
No matter what I do
It's got me good
I'm addicted to you
Jess: So, you just hate
the joy of Christmas?
Ben: Exactly.
But I do love a good solid
Christmas movie though.
You do?
And, um...
I heard that
It's a Wonderful Life
will be playing at
Hollywood Forever Cemetery
on the 21st.
Kinda morbid.
Yeah, true,
but, you know,
it also makes sense
based on what
the movie's about.
Is it about cemeteries?
You
You haven't seen it?
No.
Why? It's so good.
It's so good.
No, I haven't seen it.
It's so good!
It I mean, like, not,
not to, like, oversell it.
But it kinda, you know, like,
you know, I mean,
will change your life
if you...
Change my life.
...you watch it.
Uh...
But...
you know, it would also make,
like, a great date.
That's presumptuous.
Is it?
(chuckles)
Well, uh,
this is me. So...
Same.
(chuckles)
No, like, uh,
we parked...
Oh!
...next to each other.
That's cute.
Super cute.
So, I'll
So...
I'll text you.
You what?
What?
What did you say?
That I...
I didn't say
I just said I'll text you.
I'll text you.
Oh.
You'll Right.
That makes more sense.
I thought you said
I'll kiss you.
And I was like...
No. Oh yeah, no.
...that would be
a weird way to do that.
Yeah, no, that would be
a weird
Yeah, if if I said that.
Yeah.
That'd be a strange way
to do it.
Strange, you know,
like weirdest.
The weirdest, um...
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Cool.
Um...
So, uh, uh...
Uh, just...
kiss me when you get home.
What?
Oh. No, yes, I get it.
I'll, um, I'll kiss you
when I get home.
Yeah.
I'll do better
on my joke next time.
That's good.
Jess (on phone):
And we happened
to be parked
like, right next
to each other
which might just be
a coincidence
but is more likely
the Universe!
The Universe!
I feel really good
about this, Kara.
See, maybe you can expect
a lot from having
no expectations.
(Jess laughs)
You know, I'm already,
like, fantasizing
about New Year's with him,
which is just
Gross.
I know.
Maybe I should end
my dating embargo.
Jess:
Yeah, yeah, maybe you
can call that girl Tammy
as a little baby step.
Mm, she was a good cuddle.
But I barely know her.
Yes, well, the idea is that
you get to know her,
and then she's, you know,
somebody you know.
So do it! We gotta
do more things, Kara.
Okay, what is that?
Please tell me
you're not at home
on a Saturday night, printing.
What could possibly be
so important?
Nothing. Well, just,
I'm printing my coupons.
It's nothing.
We are talking about you.
(Jess' phone beeps)
(Jess gasps)
What?
He texted.
Already?
what did he say?
You know, I can't talk
and text and drive.
I'll call you tomorrow.
Wait.
What?
You didn't explain
the baby in the bar.
Oh! Baby of the owner's sister,
and a really mean drunk.
Okay, bye!
Okay bye!
(phone beeps)
I'm dreaming
Of a white Christmas
Just like the ones
I used to know
Where the treetops
glisten
And children listen
To hear sleigh bells
in the snow
I'm dreaming
Of a white Christmas
With every Christmas card
I write
May your days
be merry...
Are you the parents
of Jess Porter?
We have some news
about your daughter.
And may all
your Christmases
be white
And may all
your Christmases
be white
I've had Jess' eulogy
written for a while.
I know that sounds weird,
but...
Jess had mine written too.
We wrote them together
years ago.
The power was out,
the Santa Ana winds
I think, and, um...
we took that
as our cue to get
very deep and profound.
Um,
and Jess got on
some long speech about
life and death and, and how
we should eulogize each other,
then and there, together.
But...
(sniffs)
...this isn't
the Santa Ana eulogy.
'Cause, um...
nothing about this
is obvious...
or fair...
or okay.
(sniffs)
We were supposed to be 100.
(people laughing, chattering)
Ugh. Son of a...
Automated Voice:
I'm sorry, I didn't
Cancel existing reser
Please select one of
the following options.
Cancel reservation.
I'm sorry,
I didn't get that.
I need to cancel my reservation
because my friend is dead.
And she was supposed to show
me snow for the first time,
but now she can't
'cause she's dead!
So I need to cancel.
(exhales)
(sighs)
(humming)
(both humming)
(both screaming)
You You're alive?
What? Arare you
really seeing me?
Um, I think so.
Oh.
Are you
Are you really you?
Uh...
yeah, I think I'm me.
(both screaming)
Sorry.
Mm!
Are you
Did that hurt?
What? No, no.
No, it didn't hurt.
It's just
I'm just kind of freaking out
right now, you know.
Yeah.
Huh? Didn't feel
like anything.
Didn't feel like anything
'cause I'm dead.
But I'm seeing you?
Hmm? Yeah.
I know.
But, see,
I know I died.
Right, and I know
you died
'cause I was literally
at your funeral.
So...
I'm not alive.
At least not in the way
you were before.
Then what am I, Kara?
And why am I still here?
So, we see if my parents
can see me.
And if they can, we ask them
all the questions,
because adults know things.
Except these are
my parents here,
who have an annoying amount
of faith in me,
and every question I ask,
they just ask it back.
Like when you asked
if Hogwarts was real.
And they were like,
"Honey, what do you think?"
And then I applied there
for college.
No, you didn't.
I did.
Kara honey, hi.
Mom, hi.
Kara: Hi, Deb.
Deb: So good to see you.
Kara: To be clear,
just me, right?
Alex, Kara's here!
Come on in,
come on.
Come on in.
Mae: So the last thing
you said was,
"You're kinda great?"
Okay, I appreciate
the little sister concern, Mae,
but it doesn't matter,
I mean, things like this
happen all the time.
People meet,
they have a great date.
And then it ends. Poof.
No accountability.
Maybe she's dead.
Definitely.
My motto is dead
until proven shitty.
That being said,
if you like her,
why not just text her
once more?
You're making this more
complicated than it is.
Ben, you are not gonna get
into LACMA with sketches
of me doing chores
in the apartment.
Okay. So first of all,
you don't "get into" LACMA.
Second of all,
I'm just messing around
for this Christmas Eve
art show that I'm doing.
Christmas Eve art show
you're doing?
Yeah.
"From Selfie to Soulful.
What does Christmas Look Like
Without Any Filters?"
Uh, fix your face.
Look, I know, it's gimmicky,
but it's my first real show,
so, you know, get on board.
I'm on board.
You're the one defending
and critiquing it
at the same time.
Cacan I say anything
without you psychoanalyzing it?
I'm literally getting
my masters in psychology.
Yeah, yeah, I know,
I just, I just figured
you might lay off
the unsolicited shrinking
since, you know, Ruby broke up
with you for it.
(scoffs) Well, well, now
who's psychoanalyzing?
(mimicking) Well, well, well,
now who's psychoanalyzing?
You're not the only
psychologist in the family.
(Mae laughs)
You know, I wanted to see
how you guys were doing?
We're...
We're okay.
We're okay.
Hey, hey, Dad. Dad.
Kara:
Um, you don't, like, feel
Jess, like,
like she's
with you, like,
maybe, like,
she's sitting here or maybe
Yeah, sometimes.
Feel me now.
Feel me now.
(cell phone beeps)
(chuckling)
Especially when that happens.
We haven't had the heart
to turn her phone off yet.
Oh my god!
Oh my god, my phone.
I've never been this long
without it in my life!
Or death. (chuckles)
I probably have
so many push notifications.
Our favorite kind
of notification!
I'm sorry, what?
Oh, um, sorry,
my stomach is
I just don't feel...
Must, must have growled
or something.
Kara, aare, are you okay?
Kara: Yeah, um...
We should.
I think, I would feel better
if I could go up
to Jess' room,
alone for a minute.
So, I am the only one
who can see you.
Yeah, well.
I mean, I don't know.
I guess it's all your,
uh, your energy healing.
Hmm.
Like, think of
all the dates
you didn't go on
because you were busy
opening your third eye.
Way to take one
for the team, Kar.
I can't tell if you are
complimenting me or jabbing me.
It's a gratefuljab.
Speaking of.
I need your flesh hands.
Why?
My phone.
Oh, thank god.
Okay.
Okay.
Ooh!
You got so many things.
Oh my goodness.
Look at all these people
finally writing on my wall.
I know, right?
So popular.
All it took was dying.
(phone chimes)
(gasps)
Oh my gosh,
that guy Ben
just texted you again.
Oh.
Jess, that's a triple text.
Oh! Triple text!
Josephine Baker!
He sent me Josephine.
I know.
Too bad he'll think
you ghosted him.
Mm, yeah, you're right.
Ugh. I mean, I'm not a person
who ghosts people.
Yeah.
I mean,
if anything, I,
like, I ghost things.
Like, remember
my soup cafe idea called
Ladle.
And then my
paper shop idea called
Paper.
Yeah, I, I,
I guess I did kinda suck
at followthrough, huh?
There's just so much
I didn't get to do, or
or eat or see.
There's the big one,
which we can't really do
anything about now.
Madam President. Ugh!
Madam President. Ugh!
Oh, a woman in the Oval
was literally the only thing
that I knew for sure
I, like, wanted
and needed
and dreamed of.
Well, you know what?
Let's focus on the business
that we can fix.
Yeah, like things
that I wanted to do
but I just never
got around to.
Because maybe that's why
I'm still here.
And first, there's something we
need to take back to the bakery.
Little bit of naughty,
little bit of nice
She stole it
from your desk.
She was bitter...
and also loved Cher.
... good enough for me
Think about
them goodies...
Kara:
You have to learn
to ride a bike.
Stay up all night
I can't.
You can.
No, I mean, like,
I literally
I can't grab onto the handles
or, like, pedal the pedals.
Then how are you
sitting on it?
Your tangibility
is so confusing.
Okay, I'll just steer you.
Yeah, you got it!
(Kara laughs)
Wrap, wrap,
wrap it up
Oh my god! I did it!
I stood up.
Yeah!
This class is so fun!
I don't know why
I never finished it.
You do know you're supposed
to do that in the water, right?
Yes! Yes.
Aww.
(indistinct)
(gasps)
Yeah!
Oh! Yeah.
(indistinct)
Are you tired?
That was a lot
of unfinished business.
Hmm.
Well, I can't tell
if I'm tired or just...
you know, dead.
What if this is like
a 24hour layover for you?
Like, to wherever
you're going,
and then if we fall asleep,
then you disappear?
Hmm.
Just in case,
I should smell you.
You should what?
What?
(giggles)
Your saffron conditioner,
it's my favorite,
and I'll miss it the most.
All right.
(sniffs deeply)
You smell like nothing!
No.
(sniffs deeply)
Oh! Vanilla.
I can smell you. I didn't
even realize I could smell!
That's not fair.
That's not fair?
I see your point.
Hmm.
So, maybe
this is goodbye, then?
Yeah, but...
for, like, ever?
So maybe bye forever.
Maybe bye forever.
(birds squawking)
(screaming, laughing)
It wasn't just
a 24hour layover!
Why am I still here?
Why are any of us
still here?
Now I'm jumping alone!
Wait, though. Like, really.
Why am I still here?
Who cares?
Well, I
You know, being
a ghost yesterday
was, like, fun and exotic,
but today...
(sighs)
I'm just already
feeling antsy.
Jess! This is so like you.
Something's all shiny and new
and then you're like...
Over it. I know.
But what would this even be?
Just an eternity
of hanging around?
Like, the same thing
every day?
I mean, honestly,
that sounds kind of great.
Uh, yeah. 'Cause you love that
kind of monotonous stability.
Whoa! Jab?
Yes, it's a jab!
Aah! Too harsh.
Yeah.
It's just
What does it say about me
if I can't even die right?
Like, I'm failing
at the one thing
literally everyone does.
No.
You're not gonna fail
at this.
We just need an expert.
How special is this?
Oh!
Maya. Cancel all
of my appointments today,
except for Anne...
(mouthing)
...Hathaway.
Very needy.
So, Jess is here.
Oh, actually,
Chrissy, she's
Oh yes, of course, of course.
Jess, welcome.
And just to be clear,
for my notes,
you're seeing her with
your two main eyes, right,
not your third eye?
Mmhmm.
Chrissy: Oh, good for you.
She's actually, she's stuck.
Oh yes. Like she was
when she was alive?
What? You told her that?
I told her we both were.
She's my energy healer, Jess.
We talk, okay?
So, we tried looking up
different types of ghosts,
but we just got
so overwhelmed.
Ugh! It's overwhelming.
I mean, is she
a Tibetan Hungry Ghost,
is she an Undulating Cloud
of Blackness?
Ooh! That feels like me.
Whatever she is, what Jess
really needs is to ascend.
Okay, um...
is that like going
towards the light?
Jess, is there a light
you've been avoiding?
Nah. I wish.
Chrissy: When a ghost ascends,
they leave
this life behind.
They graduate
to another realm.
It's really the only "todo"
after you die:
live, die, ascend.
Okay. Then why hasn't
Jess ascended?
Mm. It's likely what you said,
she's... stuck.
She needs to unstick.
Wow. Okay, that's very clear.
Okay. Do you have any insight
into what might be keeping
her stuck?
(clears throat)
Often the only thing impeding
a ghost from ascending is...
love. But Big Love. Big Love!
Like either starting it,
finishing it,
or finding it
for the first time.
I didn't want to do
another Tommy Bahama
breathable linen for Dad,
but the man wants
what he wants.
Why are these shirts so limp?
And why are you so mopey?
I'm not.
That looks great.
You know what you're doing?
You, in your head, are
imagining that Jess is happy.
And that's dangerous.
I did that with Ruby and by the
end of my postbreakup fantasy,
she was running NASA.
I can prove Jess' life
isn't better than yours.
You don't even know
her name.
Yeah, yeah.
(keyboard clacking)
Is this her?
Oh my god.
What?
She's married?
Building a canal abroad?
Just had brunch?
She's dead.
What?
Her Facebook page is
a memorial page.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Umm...
Okay, what would help you
right now? A drink?
Right? We should
just go drink.
Okay so, Big Love
and then ascension.
Totally. Totally.
My only this is,
with Big Love, you know,
I don't think
I ever had it.
Really?
You didn't like Deshaun?
Like, wasn't he nice?
Yeah, but also, you know...
too nice and also
not nice enough.
Oh my god. Okay, you know what?
Our brains are too cluttered.
Let's do an energy cleanse!
Okay. Just because
you don't selfcare
doesn't mean I can't
for both of us.
Okay.
Right.
(clears throat)
We're gonna start
at the heart...
Mmhmm.
...and then
we're gonna go up
to the crown
and then release.
(Mae gasps)
Oh my god!
I'm so sorry!
I was doing...
It's okay.
...an energy demo on my,
uh, myself, and
Can I buy you another beer?
No, no, no. It was the
bottom bit of a cup of beer.
Plus, my brother and I still
have a whole half pitcher, so...
Kara:
Wow, a whole pitcher
with your brother?
Mae:
I know, it's very
"I'm single!" of me.
No! It's great.
No, it's not.
(both laugh)
Oh, you kept it.
Our first date pencil.
Wait, Jess?
Hmm?
Oh my god!
Wh Hold on.
Are you serious right now?
You can see me?
Jess, if you didn't want
to hear from me again,
you didn't have to create
a fake Facebook memorial page.
Oh, no. It's not fake!
I did die!
Oh, right. Okay.
Whatever you say.
Whatever who says?
Kara, he can see me!
Who are you?
Ben/Jess: Ben!
Oh my god, you're Ben!
So cute in person!
Jess: I know.
Uh, yeah,
this is my brother Ben.
Wait, who are you?
I'm Kara.
And I'm Mae!
My best friend, Kara.
Baby from the bar, Kara?
What baby?
And he can see me.
You can see her?
Of course I can see her,
she's right there!
Who is right where?
(Ben sighs)
You really don't see her?
Do I really not see a person
who is unequivocally not there?
No. I don't.
This is insane.
This is insane.
All right, I know,
it doesn't make any sense.
I believe you.
You do!
I believe that you just got
some big news about a girl
you maybe cared about
more than you thought you did,
and your grief is causing...
Like, remember with Mom?
Not everything
is about Mom.
I know that.
But this might be.
Chrissy was right about love.
About Big Love! He's it!
Maybe we were going to fall
in love, in Big Love
But then you died
before you could finish!
Which means we need
to finish our love story!
And to do that...
You need to keep dating
and then fall in more love
and then, ascension.
Mommy issues.
What?
Oh, I just think this might
have something to do
with Ben's issues
with our mom.
I mean, I can see Jess.
Do I have issues
with your mom, too?
(chuckles)
No, actually.
I think a cute girl
from the Farmers' Market
and my brother are having
a simultaneous delusion.
So you think I'm cute?
(chuckles)
Look, Ben, I mean,
you can see me.
YYou kept the pencil.
That has to mean something.
So...
here I am.
I'm just a ghost
standing in front
of an alive guy,
asking him to go
on a second date.
You're dead.
You're dead!
Um, Mae can't see you.
Yep.
Nobody else can.
I can't say yes to something
that's not...
Uh, you're not here.
All right, let's go.
It was it was nice
to meet you.
Bye.
(groaning)
Well, that's not really
what I meant by meditating.
It's the only sound
that will come out.
Kara?
Hmm?
Should we maybe, like, try,
you know, calling him?
No.
Or, like, maybe you
can find his address.
That way, we can
Haunt him?
I think maybe he didn't
understand what I was...
you know, asking him.
(sighs)
Here's what I think.
I think your Big Love
would meet you halfway.
And if Ben can't wrap
his head around you dying,
coming back, and wanting
to date, then he sucks.
And honestly,
it kinda makes me hate him.
Like, "almost considering
a Voodoo Doll" hate him.
We're gonna find it, okay?
Yeah.
And get you ascended.
Or ascend you.
(chuckling)
Yeah.
Mmhmm.
You know what I mean.
Thanks, Kara.
Well, I need to go
to work, but...
Hey, just in case,
'cause kind of
No idea what's going on?
Yeah.
Maybe bye
Maybe bye forever.
Okay, Connie, I'm adding
crushed guarana for caffeine,
so you can meet that deadline,
but I also want to add turmeric,
which is an antianxiety,
so you don't go insane.
It's about balance.
You're a miracle, Kara.
Have a good one.
Earl's gonna be so amped
to see you.
His eczema is
out of control.
Oh. Poor Earl.
He's such an itchy man.
(Kane chuckles)
Okay. So, no pressure, but...
I still haven't received
your application
for the Global Tea Program
Apprenticeship.
Morocco would be so beautiful
for you, Kara.
The tea culture there
is so essential:
the ceremony, the mastery,
the science, and
I know you lost your friend,
but imagine the healing.
Imagine how essential
it could be.
So essential.
(boy fussing)
(babbling, screaming)
Woman:
Ben?
Hi, I'm Jane.
Yeah. Hi.
Nice to meet you.
Umm, yeah, I hope it's cool
that we are, like... inside.
Oh yeah, inside's great.
Or outside, too.
Either, or.
Whatever you want!
Before bitter
before sweet
(inhales deeply)
Before you drifted off
to sleep
There is a part
where the two ends meet...
One. Two. Nope.
No. Exercise is still dumb.
No one wants to talk
about between
Oh my god,
I am so bored!
TV Host: And up next,
we have a timeless classic.
It's a Wonderful Life.
Starring Jimmy Stewart
and Donna Reed.
The movie that will change
my life.
(door opens)
Uh, hey, Kara. Hi.
Well, your hair's down.
You can touch your hair?
Yeah. I guess I can touch, like,
whatever's, you know, me.
Um. Hey, question.
Um, what day is it?
Mm, the 21st, why?
We have to go to the
Hollywood Forever Cemetery.
Now? I literally
just got home,
and I been working all day,
and it's almost night time.
Please.
Why?
Well
Oh.
'Cause cemetery means
dead people,
dead people mean ghosts
who can help us with ascension.
Obviously.
Yeah!
(people chattering)
It's a bit busy
for a Wednesday, no?
Yeah.
Unless.
Oh my god!
I'm so sorry.
Okay, he's not a ghost.
Uh, I'm just gonna
find out what's happening.
Okay.
Hey, sir.
Is this a seance or...
Man: It's our
Holiday Movie Series.
Tonight is
It's a Wonderful Life.
Okay. Thank you.
So I guess this is just
a bunch of people
trying to see
a movie at a cemetery.
(chuckles)
You know what?
Uh, let's just...
Let's just go, Kar.
Great.
Hi.
Hi.
You remembered.
Yeah, I did.
And you're really here.
Mmhmm.
I really, really am.
I don't know why you couldn't
just tell me why we were
coming here.
I Because you just gave me
a whole speech
on how he sucks
and how he isn't worth it!
Yeah, but you can't just
legislate when and how
I get to be there for you.
Yes, I Sorry.
Anyway! Um,
I'm a terrible third wheel
so, Jess, I can come get you
in a couple hours?
I can, I can take Jess home.
You know, and then that way,
you have the night off.
Okay, yeah!
Okay, so per your text,
here is a datekit,
so you can pretend to be
on a date with a ghost,
because clearly enabling
is what I do best.
Thanks, Mae.
Night, Jess.
Mae:
Oh.
Oh! Cute Farmer's Market Girl.
Yeah. Oh!
Please, just call me Cute.
(both laugh)
Um, I'm actually
about to leave.
Oh!
Well, are you still
gonna do that?
I don't know. I mean,
I kinda feel like a walk now.
You around?
(indistinct chatter)
He'll be fine. Let's do it.
You know,
when you mentioned a walk,
I never could have imagined
something as enchanting as this.
(chuckles)
Well, I'm full of surprises
and the world's
tiniest bladder.
Does anyone have
hand sanitizer?
Oh yeah. I do, actually.
Um, hold this.
Oh yeah.
Thank you.
That.
What's this? It says you can go
to Morocco for three months.
Oh yeah. It's just
a tea internship thing.
You can just toss that.
But isn't tea what
you're focusing on right now?
Yeah, but, you know,
my best friend is stuck
between two realms,
so right now is kinda
getting pushed to later.
Wouldn't she want you
to go?
She doesn't know.
We try to have big
exciting things happening
at the same time
so no one feels left out,
you know.
And right now, she just
doesn't have anything, so...
She's... dead.
Exactly.
Oh, um...
I, I have it.
I have it for you.
Woman: Thank you.
...that shoot out of
your fingers and your toes
and the ends of your hair.
Am I talking too much?
Yes!
(laughter)
Man: Why don't you
kiss her instead of
talking her to death?
James Stewart:
How's that?
Man:
Why don't you kiss her
instead of talking her
to death?
Want me to kiss her, huh?
Ah, youth is wasted
on the wrong people.
Can I ask you something?
Hmm?
What's it like?
Uh...
I don't know,
it feels the same.
Almost normal even.
Except...
like, okay, so I can sit next
to you, but I can't touch you.
And...
I don't know, it's like
I'm almost a person.
Can I ask you
a question?
No.
(deep voice) Please.
(chuckles)
Yeah.
What changed your mind?
About...
you know,
about all of this?
I mean...
if I'm being
really honest,
I was just on
a kind of bad date.
(gasps)
Oh no!
Yeah.
What, what was bad?
I mean, it I mean,
it wasn't terrible.
It just...
She just...
(stammers)
(laughs)
What?
No, I can't say that.
Say it.
Come on. Say it!
Say it!
Okay, all right, all right.
Say it!
She just,
she just wasn't you.
Yeah, you're right.
That was pretty lame.
You know...
Bet you regret that.
I just let out my heart,
and you just stomped on it.
Yeah.
Um...
(both laugh)
That's interesting.
What?
You can still blush.
(giggles)
What are you doing tomorrow?
Oh, I wanted to ask you:
do you think this whole
"ghost relationship
as a method for grieving"
would make
an interesting paper
for my
Abnormal Psychology class?
I could interview you,
I could interview Kara.
Oh, or, I don't know,
maybe you could just
ask her out
like a normal person,
instead of trying
to turn her into
some sort
of psychological study.
You're the guy dating
a dead person.
Okay, I know you don't see her,
but she's there.
The same way Kara is.
Well, not exactly
the same way.
I'm just saying,
you should try it.
Dating a ghost?
No.
Dating without
a textbook for once.
Hey, Ben?
I'm here if you need me.
You know that, right?
Yeah, girl.
Okay, and then this would be,
like, you know, if he teases me.
And I like it
but I don't want him
to know that I like it.
So I'd be like.
Yeah, that's good.
Wha...
You weren't even looking.
I mean, it's just, like,
if you go on this date
and we're right about Big Love,
then you might never come back.
What? Yeah.
I mean, I know, but...
(knocking on door)
Ah! Wait, he's here.
And I feel like,
I feel weird.
Oh, no, no, no.
Don't feel weird.
Okay, um, we're good,
we're good, we're good.
Okay. So you're gonna go
on this date.
Okay.
We're gonna "Maybe Bye Forever,"
just in case,
and then you're gonna
fall in love
and then you're gonna ascend.
Okay, look,
I'm not gonna fall in love.
It's the second date.
I mean,
I wouldn't be too sure.
Okay, well...
Just in case,
the Maybe Bye Forever?
That's why we say it.
That's why we mean it.
Together:
Maybe bye forever.
(whispers)
Alright.
(both laughing)
Yeah, I, I just figured
it'd be good
to have some things
to smell.
Jess:
Oh stop.
You're so sweet.
These smell great.
Man: Sir?
Did did you want
to buy that?
Uh...
Well
It's, it's cool. I
No, that's great.
Yeah. Let's do it.
Well, I mean, it's just that
lilies kind of remind me of
Oh, um, I'm sorry.
No, don't be sorry.
Like a bad prom date
or something?
Uh, no. Just my funeral.
Oh!
From that time I died.
Yeah. Uh, sorry.
No, it's
Do you want us
Should we,
should we bail
for something better?
Yeah.
Yeah, bail for something. Yeah.
And then my husband tells me
that my inlaws are now staying
through New Year's
and I immediately have
a neck spasm.
Okay. Well, I I want you
to let this cool.
When you get home, I want you
to sit down, breathe in...
(inhales)
...breathe out...
(exhales)
...and when you
feel still, sip.
You'll be spasmless
by Christmas.
You angel.
(laughs)
Have a great Christmas!
You too.
Mae: Wow!
Did you just drug
that lady?
She kind of just needed
permission to slow down.
I mean, most people do,
and just a hot cup
of tea does that.
Oh, I'm, I'm the girl who,
oh, is being haunted
by a ghost, so...
Yeah. You probably
just think I'm nuts.
You know,
normally I'd agree.
But since I just staked out
three different Meridian
Markets looking for you,
I am not one to talk.
You did?
Yeah.
Why?
(chuckles)
Not sure.
My brother is off
with your mutual ghost today,
and it just got me thinking
about how not easy your life
probably is right now.
Yeah.
Not really.
Hmm.
Well, first,
it sounds like you owe yourself
some of that slowdown tea.
(chuckles)
And second,
since "Jess"
is with Ben today,
you're free, right?
I mean...
technically.
Great.
I live for technicalities.
(chuckles)
Just so I can
emotionally prepare,
did you bring me here
to rob this museum?
'Cause I'll do it.
For you.
I'll do it.
When items aren't on display,
the museum, they store them
down here.
It's offlimits
to the general public.
Oh!
So, how are we here?
They forgot to deactivate
my intern badge
from the summer of 2016,
so...
Oh!
No, dodon't touch that.
Right. Ghost. Yup.
Well, but on principle,
no touching.
Touch it. Touch.
No.
This is one
of my favorites.
This is... So, you see
how it looks from a distance.
It just kind of looks
like normal paint.
Uhhuh.
It's pastel.
What?
Yeah. I mean...
In my opinion,
pastel's underused,
so people should
use it more.
I agree.
Um...
this is definitely
one of my least favorites.
But people stand in line
for hours to see it.
So, here you are.
Wow.
Art.
(both laugh)
This one over here is...
Kara: I didn't realize
LA even had ice skating.
(Mae chuckles)
Kara: It's such an oxymoron.
The Midwesterner in me
can't do Christmas
without at least
the suggestion of winter.
You know, I've actually
never even seen snow.
Jess and I were supposed
to go to Big Bear Mountain,
um... and I
Sorry, I don't mean
to keep talking about her
reminding you
how crazy I am.
You're not crazy.
I'm not?
When I was seven,
Ben was twelve...
our Mom died.
For the first eight months
after, I ate cereal
for, like, every meal.
I was obsessed.
It was the last thing
that she gave me,
and I thought
if I just ate enough,
maybe she'd come back,
like I could breakfast her
back to life.
I guess what I'm trying
to say is that
grief is a ridiculous,
personal, unyielding thing.
And I'm not gonna get in the
way of someone else's cereal.
(Kara sniffs)
(cell phone rings)
Hey, Kane,
everything okay?
What?
Okay.
That's I didn't
Okay!
Yeah. Okay. Bye.
That was so weird.
Hmm.
My manager just said
that I, um,
I got into
the Morocco TeaOff,
which I guess is some final
step to the Morocco program,
but I never even applied.
So...
So don't hand me
an application
in a cemetery bathroom line
if you don't want me
to secretly submit it.
Ben:
This is...
a chair.
Wow.
I sat in it
when I was an intern
and, and it, obviously,
it broke,
because it's like
300 years old.
Mmm.
Oh no.
Oh god, I'm now a guy,
like, telling you about how
he sat in a chair and broke it
in his mid20s, which
So are you, like, super bored?
Do you, do you hate this?
You hate it.
I don't hate it.
I love it.
It's perfect.
Then why does your face
look like that?
Just ignore my face.
My face doesn't know
what it's talking about.
Mmm. I don't want
to ignore your face,
is the thing.
I just, I
I don't know,
I wanna know about...
all the museum chairs
you broke in your 20s.
It's only this one.
I mean that there is
a lot more to know about you.
And for you to...
know about me.
And, uh...
I don't know.
I'm feeling like
what people feel,
you know,
when they...
fall for people, which means
that Chrissy was right,
which is just, like,
completely insane.
I, I thought she had no idea
what she was talking about,
but she
So now I'm...
super confused.
Right.
Mmhmm.
Well, uh...
so, Kara and I went to see
her energy healer, Chrissy,
and Chrissy said that
I'm stuck between worlds
because, you know,
Big Love is, uh,
it's making me unable
to ascend,
and then, I just,
I Listen.
I'm not the kind of girl who
falls in love on a second date.
I'm not crazy.
But this just,
it feels really different,
and it feels really good.
And it also feels
really terrible
because it's making me
not want to ascend at all,
and I should have
told you sooner
and maybe also...
your face is doing a thing,
and I probably
shouldn't have said anything.
So you're using me to ascend.
No.
Yes.
A little bit. I
Now that I'm hearing it out
loud, it does kind of sound
like that.
Um... do you wanna just go?
Just don't.
Don't ascend.
I mean,
I can't just not.
Mmm.
And besides, you know,
the more time
we spend together,
the more we're gonna fall
for each other and...
That's presumptuous.
Is it, though?
All right.
Fine.
Then... let's make this
the best ascension of all time.
(Jess chuckles)
Ben: Basically,
we want to take
our relationship
to the,
to the next level.
Ben, I think maybe
just be super clear.
Is she talking right now?
What's she saying?
Yeah. We wanna...
Jess and I,
we want to be...
intimate.
Oh!
Yeah.
Oh.
Uh, is that something
you think
maybe you could, like,
help us with?
(Chrissy chuckles)
Yes! Of course.
Don't be silly.
Yes! Of course. I mean, it's
like You know, I have to,
like,
there's, like, some work
that has to be done
to try and connect, like,
the dots and stuff,
you know.
Let me just...
(clears throat)
Oh, wait.
Yes. Yes!
Teachings say
"interdimensional tangibility
is possible..."
No, no. One moment,
one moment, one moment,
"When the...
"When the couple aligns
their desires
"with...
the Winter Solstice."
That is when the walls between
the two worlds are the thinnest.
Ah.
So when's that?
Wh Uh, when's that?
When's that?
Oh, just, uh, one moment,
one moment, let me just...
Whoa, that's,
that's now, actually!
Christmas time.
That's festive!
Says "The partners must tell
their truths
without filter of the hearts."
Oh.
That's it?
Chrissy: That is it.
That'll work?
Oh yeah.
Only if it doesn't
will it not.
Jess: Wow. You're, like,
setting the scene.
And you have a bed
in your studio?
Crazy.
You, uh,
you do this a lot?
Uh, no, I, I sleep here
enough that
that it makes sense
to have...
I mean,
I, I don't ever do this.
Um
I mean, no
I mean...
like, I do this...
I don't...
I've done it.
Oh, well, good for you.
Yeah. Yeah.
(both laugh)
Oh wow!
This is ridiculous!
So ridiculous.
Um...
Okay, so if we
were gonna do
what Chrissy said to do,
what would we...
do?
Uh, well, she said
that we should
tell our total truths.
Whatever that means.
What do you think it means?
I don't know. Um...
I guess I'm just terrified
that I don't really have one.
I've never really been
very good at knowing
what my truth was.
I'm scared, too.
Because, I mean,
the closer we get,
the more gone
you are, and...
I mean, I've never felt
like this about anybody, and...
and I don't, don't think
I ever will again.
Wait.
I just did that.
Did you feel that?
Yeah.
Can you feel that?
Yeah.
Try something else.
(seagulls squawking)
Jess?
Jess?
Have yourself
a merry little Christmas
Let your heart be light
She ascended, Kara.
From now on
Our troubles will be
out of sight...
Okay.
When I woke up,
she was gone.
I think what Ben is trying
to say is that,
he's finally starting
to process Jess' death,
right, Ben?
From now on...
I just kind of, you know...
thought I would be there.
You were there
for everything else.
(voice breaking)
Everything else wasn't enough.
As in olden days
Happy golden days...
(laughing)
Faithful friends...
Are you laughing?
Gather near to us
Sorry.
(sniffs)
It's like, okay, what now?
You know?
What do you do when your
ghost best friend ascends?
I can't just, like,
lalala, go to work.
You know? Like...
Well, what would
Jess want you to do
if the situations
were reversed?
She'd cry, obviously.
Which you've done.
I mean...
She did always love
when I made her PizzainaPot
and...
Pizza in a what?
It's like this dish
with red sauce and cheese
and bread and pasta
and just all mixed
into a pot.
Huh?
So... pasta?
Yeah.
Okay.
Uh, yeah. I mean...
But like
...I think we can manage that.
Jess: So, clearly,
Ben wasn't my Big Love,
and Kara is moving on.
I guess it's up to me.
Uh, so...
hi, Jess.
Good to see you.
You look great.
I just...
I want to forgive you...
us...
me for...
for just constantly
judging myself on...
how well
I was doing life...
For all of it.
I think I...
I think I actually did do...
some good stuff...
somewhere in there...
even if I didn't always
finish everything.
I see that now,
and I love myself for it.
And maybe...
maybe that's exactly the kind
of love that I need
to ascend.
And so...
(exhales)
...I love you, Jess.
I said...
I love you, Jess!
Hi, honey.
Mama.
Hey, pumpkin.
Hi.
Hey, guys...
I don't know
what I'm doing.
I know you always said
that I could figure
anything out, but...
You know, that my answer was
the right answer but...
She liked these.
But...
well, there is a right answer.
There is a way to ascend,
and I don't,
I don't know what it is,
and I need your help, and I
can't even get you to see me!
I miss her.
(chuckles)
Alex:
You know what I miss
most about her?
What?
I miss the way
she chewed.
(laughs)
Alex.
God, she just chewed
like a monster!
Wha... What?
Alex: I know.
She could make a stick of gum
sound like a chicken wing.
I did not do that.
That was just
Jess being Jess.
Has everyone been talking
about this?
All over the place,
passionate...
Yeah.
Deb:
You realize
we created this just...
curious, complicated
little being and...
Alex: All you want
to do is watch her grow.
Right?
Mmhmm.
Hey, I
I'll keep growing.
I will.
Even if it's not,
you know...
like the way we thought
it was gonna be
and even if it's not...
here, I'm...
I'm gonna keep growing.
(gasps)
You remember
what Kara said about...
about feeling her presence?
I feel her.
I feel her right now.
Me too.
Oh!
Alex. Me too.
Deb: Yeah.
Oh, I feel her.
How is Kara,
by the way?
Deb: Oh yeah.
Alex: Do we know?
I forgot to tell you.
She, um...
she might be doing this
tea program through Meridian
that's, um, three months
in Morocco!
Alex: Oh wow!
Uh, wait, what?
Wow. Do you know what?
She's doing what?
I think that'd be good
for her, to get away.
You know.
Deb: Yeah.
Yeah.
Wait.
I was glad she called.
Wait.
Not just because
of the opportunity,
but, you know, she...
she wanted us to know.
Mmhmm.
Yeah.
But why wouldn't she
want me to know?
Kara: You guys
have everything?
Mae: Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Thanks.
Jess?
How could you not tell me
about Morocco?
I thought you said
she ascended!
I thought she did!
Kara: How long have you been
standing outside my door?
Gonna take a shot
in the dark here
and say Jess is back.
You were gone when I woke up.
I thought
Wait, did you ghost me?
What? No.
I didn't ghost you.
I mean, well, yes.
Yeah, technically.
But it's just because
when I woke up,
you were,
you were all cute,
and it was like someone hit
the reset button
and I couldn't
touch you anymore.
And I told myself
not to get upset.
Like, okay. All right.
Maybe I didn't ascend,
but maybe that means
we could just date...
forever.
And I thought I'd go and get
us some croissants and coffee,
cause, you know,
that's adorable, right?
That's adorable,
except I couldn't,
'cause I can't do anything
'cause I'm dead.
And it was all
a little bit too much
and so yes, I left.
I'm sorry. But right now,
I need to talk to you.
(Ben scoffs)
Kara: Mae.
Oh. Right.
Guess we're leaving.
Sorry.
So, uh, how long have you been
planning to go to Morocco?
It's not even for sure.
Fine.
Thinking about planning to go.
I don't know, a month, maybe!
(laughs)
Okay. You know what, Kara,
for someone who is so open
and honest
and one with herself,
you are a pretty
topnotch liar.
Are you kidding me
right now?
I didn't lie to you,
I just didn't want you
to feel bad about yourself!
'Cause you never have
anything going on
that you actually care about.
And I felt like
you'd resent it,
because you just need me to be
just as stuck as you are.
Uh, I'm so sorry. I didn't
realize I was keeping you
from everything you wanted
in life. My bad!
Yeah. Your bad.
You know what?
You're always jabbing at me
as like, as like a way to
To, like, what, Kara?
Hold me back.
To hold you back?
Okay. All right.
Well, you know
what I think, actually?
I think that you love
that I have nothing going on.
I think that you love that
I have no idea what I'm doing.
Because I think
it makes you feel
completely better
about yourself,
but you know what?
At least I try
new things, you know.
Maybe they don't last
that long,
but at least I'm not gonna
spend my entire life
brewing the exact same
cup of tea.
(scoffs)
You won't spend your whole life
doing anything, Jess!
You died.
You left.
You wanted us to take
baby steps and do stuff?
Well, guess what,
now, you can't.
I'm the one still here,
and I have to do it
without you.
Well, I'm not gonna
feel bad for you
that you're still alive, Kara!
Great. No problem.
Then I'm done feeling bad
that you're dead.
Great.
I
Cacan you please open
the door for me? Please.
(Chrissy chanting indistinctly)
(door opens, closes)
You were wrong.
Kara, I'm right in the middle
of a light orb double bypass.
You said to trust myself.
You said to believe
in myself.
But I don't know what the hell
I'm doing, Chrissy,
because you don't know
what you're talking about!
Uh...
You told me that
this was gonna be
the biggest year
of my life,
and it has been the worst.
You were wrong.
About Big Love,
about ascension,
about all of it.
But I I do truly hope your
light is replenished, ma'am.
Please don't put this
on my Yelp review.
(door slams)
(sniffs)
(sighs)
(chuckles)
Well?
This one's good.
Minty and watery.
Oh my god, I'm not gonna win
a trip to Morocco
or get my tea blend sold
in stores next year
with minty and watery.
Wait, they'll sell your tea
next year in actual Meridians?
Yeah. As part
of their Holiday rollout
which is why
they're judging the teas
at this year's
Christmas Eve party.
It's like a whole thing.
Let me try this one.
No, I
I didn't even mean
to brew that one.
But you did.
Okay, but I must've been
on autopilot
or something here.
Kara. That is so good!
(sighs)
No, really.
I'm not even a tea person,
which I probably should have
told you sooner,
but that tastes,
I don't know,
it's just perfect,
like I want more immediately.
Well, I'm not gonna use it,
okay, Mae?
It will literally win you
the entire
I don't want to win with it!
It's Jess' saffron tea
that I made for her,
because of her, and I I don't
want anything to do with it.
Kara, I really think
that you should
Let's just go
with the watery mint.
But the watery mint's
not gonna
Win?
Cool. Great.
I didn't want to do
this stupid competition anyway,
and, and that's why
I didn't apply
in the first place
and probably why someone
should have respected that.
Let's just forget about it.
That's bullshit.
What?
You think
this is about Jess?
This is about you.
This is about you
using Jess' death
as an excuse
to not do anything.
Great, therapy time.
Actually, yeah.
You think Jess is stuck?
Well, guess what,
she's not the only one.
You're so preoccupied
with a ghost,
you're barely here, Kara.
And as someone
who wants you here,
it sucks to see that,
and it sucks
to be around it.
But doesn't it suck
for you, too?
(carolers singing
Silent Night)
Is there a presence there?
Hello?
Fill me with your presence.
Make yourself known to me.
Oh my god.
Look, honey.
I have been saying your name
for ten minutes,
and I don't know how much more
known I can make myself
Ugh!
There's no presence,
there's no ghost.
I'm just one big fat fraud.
But, Chrissy,
I, I am here,
and I need to be not here.
And I can't keep sleeping
in Bed, Bath, & Beyond!
(cell phone beeping)
I can't
Go for Chrissy.
Ugh! Saul.
No, I'm fine. I...
One of my other clients
is a little stuck.
I mean, her best friend
is stuck and...
Yes, exactly!
Kara is, is so loyal.
Almost to a fault.
Yeah, that's true.
Wait. Wait!
(gasps)
Is that snow?
Huh, snow?
Chrissy: Oh!
We were supposed to see
the snow together.
Chrissy:
It is snow!
Oh my god!
Oh my god!
Chrissy, you're a genius!
You were right!
About Big Love.
About, about all of it.
But I was just wrong
about who it was.
I, I got to go.
Oh! Well, that's not snow.
That's just canyon
fire ash. Ooh!
What's up, Jess?
I need your help.
Uh, itit's for Kara, and
Jess, you ghosted me.
Yeah, II know.
I know, but
You can't just waltz in
and out of people's lives
like it's nothing.
Well,
to be fair, I've barely been
in your life,
so to be out isn't
necessarily...
Well, I I guess I just thought
that you'd get over me.
Yeah, well...
maybe that's not
a bad idea.
Hey, you know I wasn't
even looking forward
to our first date.
Your emoji usage alone
was quite concerning.
And, uh, then I met you.
And you were...
you, and...
I just liked you...
so much...
(sighs)
...and I thought, like,
wow, okay, I mean...
this must be why people...
stick with things,
this feeling.
And then I died.
Because...
I don't know, maybe
the Universe was mad at me.
The Universe wasn't mad
at you, Jess.
But, I mean,
really though, it...
it wasn't your fault.
I looked at my phone,
you know.
This one's on me.
Yeah, it's too bad because
I'll probably never open up
to a girl
the way I did with you,
constantly afraid
she'll die.
Or worse, god,
die and not ascend.
Oh, hey, I
What happened with us
should make you...
You can and you should
open up to people!
I was just kidding.
Right.
Well, let's jump on Tinder.
Start swiping. Time is
of the essence.
Well, I mean,
before I meet anybody new,
I've got to...
finish my third piece
for the show tomorrow
and by finish,
I mean start at all
and then finish.
Mmhmm.
Well, that's actually
why I'm here.
Um...
I think we can help
each other.
I'm honestly impressed
with myself.
(Jess giggles)
Ben:
Good morning.
I think I was stupid.
Uh, sorry, Mae,
but Jess is
I Rubyed, Kara.
She didn't want
to submit for Morocco,
and I full on analyzed her
and told her she was using
Jess' death
as an excuse to stay
completely paralyzed
and not brew her tea
for the competition.
But who am I
to decide that for her?
Ugh. God.
Controlling Mae isn't cute.
It just isn't,
and I need to just stop.
Man, I'm sorry, Mae.
But maybe
Hey, Ben, I have an idea!
I think it might help us
with Kara and also Mae.
Um, so, could you
tell her. Just
Maybe what? Keep talking.
Sorry.
Jess is here. She is saying, uh,
we're working on something
that we need your help with,
but it would also help you
with Kara, too.
"Jess is here?"
You know, I'm sick of your
little air quotes, all right!
What is happening?
Ben: I wanna guess
how many fingers.
Ben, come on.
Ben: No.
Um, I, I can't see anything.
Jess will tell me how many
fingers you're holding up,
and then I'll tell you,
and then you'll believe us!
Oh, she's doing, like,
a strangly thing.
Stop doing
the little strangly thing.
That's not nice.
You're not slick.
You know I do that.
Oh.
Jesus.
Four fingers.
Oh, and a leg up.
Four fingers
and a leg up.
Cool?
What the hell.
How can I help you guys?
Jess: Oh
She looked right at me.
What are the odds?
I owe you an apology.
You don't have to do that.
I want to.
Your life is yours, Kara.
I was excited for you, yes,
but it's more important
that you're excited for you.
I overstepped
and overanalyzed, and...
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, too.
I know you were just
trying to help,
and I'm usually the helper,
so it was hard for me.
Anyway, I like
that you overanalyze.
You do?
Yeah.
It's hard to avoid
your own shit
when a girl you like
is putting your face in it.
(Kara giggles)
What a nice, kind of
gross thing to say.
Come with me
to Ben's show.
Kara: Thank you.
Aww, such manners.
(giggles)
Oh, they're here. Go. Go.
Hey, Kara.
Kara, hi.
Hi. So, um...
I think I figured it out!
Kara.
Wait. Hello?
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
She can't see me!
I can see you, I just don't
want to talk to you right now.
Oh.
Is that Jess?
Hi, Mae.
You can hear her?
No, not technically but...
But you live
for technicalities.
Never too late
to change a little.
Hey, Kara. Can we please talk
Kara: Mmmmm.
Good evening, all!
We are ready to begin.
Benjamin, would you like
to start?
(applause)
So, uh, yeah, when I heard
about the theme for the show,
I started thinking
about this idea of filtering
and how obsessed
we all are with,
like, presenting
this perfect version
of ourselves.
And I liked what
the show was asking:
like, what happens
when we remove the filters,
and just let ourselves
be ourselves?
I wanted this Christmas
to, to showcase just that:
those soulful, honest,
holiday moments,
whether they're perfect
or not.
That might mean...
being...
angry.
(laughter)
Or, uh, it might mean being,
you know, super sad.
Kara, I
Ben: Um...
Shh!
(clears throat)
Ben: But you know, sometimes,
sometimes, we get lucky,
and our most honest moments
happen to be
our most perfect ones.
Thank you.
(audience applauding)
It's an Apology Portrait.
We were supposed to have...
the most amazing trip
to Big Bear,
and I was supposed
to be with you
the first time you saw snow.
But that couldn't happen.
We were supposed
to have, like...
a million more firsts,
and lasts together,
and all of it, uh
But we don't get
any of that, anymore.
Jess, don't.
It's you, Kar.
I mean, I died thinking
that I still needed
to find my soul mate,
still needing that Big Love
that people always talk about.
But...
(chuckles)
I already had it.
I have it.
It's my best friend.
It's you.
And I think I,
I think I...
maybe I always knew it
deep down.
I think I did, too.
Really?
But I was scared.
You know,
because that meant...
that you were gonna leave
for real,
forever.
And...
And I'm still scared, but...
But... our baby steps
are going different ways.
And we need to take them
on our own.
Mmhmm.
(sniffles)
Kara, you have
to go to Morocco.
(exhales)
I know, I
I mean, next year,
I guess but...
I didn't send in
my submission,
and they pick
the winner tonight, so...
Oh, well, you know, I...
I actually just got,
uh, Ben and Mae
to take your saffronJess tea
to Kane earlier.
Jess, we literally
just talked about
how we have to take
our own baby steps!
Oh. Yeah.
Right. Well
I don't know, maybe
we just think of this
as, like, as our last...
"together step."
And this time, it's not me
holding you back, you know.
This time,
I'm just a ghost...
standing in front
of her best friend...
asking her to fly.
(Kara chuckles)
(both laugh)
You want to come in
with me?
No. This is all you.
Right.
Okay. Here I go.
Hey, uh, Kara, wait!
Hug me.
Yeah, right.
No, no, really! I...
I think we might be able to,
because of what Chrissy said
about the thin walls
and telling our truths
and I don't know,
cause it's Christmas Eve.
Okay.
Oh! Actually,
that reminds me!
Um, will you tell Chrissy that
when she was outside her office,
on the phone with a client,
and she felt a presence,
that it was me and she's not
a big fat fraud?
Chrissy does phone sessions?
Yes. Will you tell her?
(chuckles)
I will.
Okay.
(Jess gasps)
(both laugh)
Woman:
Kara Shafer, you're up.
(people chattering)
Hey. Hey.
Kara!
Oh! You're just in time.
The judges are about
to taste your tea.
This saffron component
is remarkable.
Do we have a winner?
Congratulations, young lady.
Oh my god. Really?
(crowd applauding)
Way to go, Kara!
Oh my god.
Merry Christmas, Kara.
Merry Christmas, Jessie.
(sniffs)
Falling down
The snow is falling down
(inaudible dialogue)
Coming out
Life is coming out...
You know, New Year
New Me, as they say.
They do say that,
don't they?
Yeah.
Mae: You sure
we can't drive you?
It would be very easy
to immediately unload that car.
No. Airport commutes
destroy relationships,
and I won't have it.
Not true.
Fine.
Bring me back a souvenir.
I will.
You can give it to me
on our Welcome Back
Kara Date.
Aww! The official first date.
How exciting and stuff!
I know, right?
(chuckles)
Okay. Here I go.
Talk to lots of strangers.
Kara: I will!
Bells are ringing loud
But I'm so cold
Jess: And he sent it back
how many times?
Ten times.
What? Okay.
Ascended Steve Jobs sounds
super particular.
I mean, a martini's a martini.
Right?
Right.
Ben: Jess?
Oh no!
Oh no!
Ben: Oh no!
Hi, what are you
doing here?
Um, cardiac embolism.
Oh!
Yeah.
I'm super dead.
Damn!
Bam.
Damn, that's crazy.
So what is that, like,
is it like, a broken heart?
Probably that's what that is.
Not a broken heart.
Not a broken heart.
Okay.
Broken.
But still sad and untimely.
Yes. Right. Tragic.
Ugh, I'm sorry.
And poor Mae!
Well, I think since her whole
experience with you,
she's been thinking about
all of this very differently.
You know, all this.
Mm.
Trivia night.
Oh. (chuckles)
Should we?
Oh yeah.
I
Oh, no, wait.
I'm sorry. I'm having
a hard time hearing you
over the fact that
we're absolutely doing this.
I, I would love to, but...
I actually have plans.
No, yeah, uh...
Yeah. Right.
Of course you do.
Of course you do.
I, uh, shouldn't
have assumed.
Oh, no, no, no!
Assume me.
Assume me. I love it.
I just, I just have something
that I gotta go do.
But it's Trivia Night
every night here, like, forever.
So, um, you know...
next game?
Yeah. Yeah, next game.
Okay.
Finally made it home
Bye.
Yeah, I'm back
where my heart belongs
It's her Visiting Day.
She never misses it.
Gifts are wrapped
underneath the tree
Fire cracks,
sippin' something sweet
It's been forever
Here comes the snowfall
Gather together
Sing all
the old songs...
The frothy top is sugar.
Moroccan caramelization.
And this...
is on the house.
A woman Santa cookie.
Love it.
Happy opening week.
Thank you.
Hey, boss.
I was gonna take off.
Yeah, go. It's Christmas.
Okay. Are you sure
you'll be good on your own?
Go. I'll be fine.
I'll be fine. Go.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Gather together
Sing all the old songs
I got this.
Toss in the home town
Yeah, you do.
No matter what
we're going through
I just wanna celebrate
with you
Ooh, ooh, ooh
I just wanna celebrate
with you