Ghosts Can't Do It (1989) Movie Script

(men yelling indistinctly)
(dramatic music)
Did you fall off again?
I'm practicing a
new kind of dismount.
Jesus, no.
Jesus, yes.
We're out here playing
some kind of goddamn
cowboys and my
horse can't keep up.
Oh Scott, what are we doing?
I think we're
having a heart attack.
No, you're having
a thrill again.
This is just one of
your goddamn thrills!
Katie, I don't make
the fucking rules!
I'm just one of the players.
Oh, great one, this
isn't the real thing?
No, it's a goosy
situation, baby.
Scott, damn it.
Are you scared?
Would I be scared?
Oh Scott, I'm afraid.
Yeah, what the
hell is going on?
Oh, great one, oh,
tell me everything.
Tell me again from the time
I was born in your arms.
Will you let
me bite your lip?
Is it all right?
Oh, I don't
think it'll kill me.
I don't know, it's
pretty potent stuff.
Let me try...
What are you
doing on your butts?
Scott, he thinks he's
having a heart attack.
You bet you
1,000 to one he is.
Maybe we better give
him a couple of shots.
Just in case.
Just in case what?
Just in case you need them.
Pull up his shirt for me.
This will have to
go in the belly.
Oh, goddamnit,
not in the belly.
In the arm, in the arm, Cotton.
No, it's got to
go in the belly part.
Goddamnit, I'll kick you
right in the head, Cotton.
Not in the belly, that shot
does not go in the belly!
Stop it, just stop it now!
Just this try
to be brave part.
Oh, brave.
You know, honey, I was
seeing one of those big
rabies shots.
You ever seen one of those?
Yeah, yeah.
Oh goddamnit,
they're awesome things.
Oh, Scott, this is
the real thing, damn you.
Listen, honey,
if I have to go,
what'll you do?
I will not cry.
I will not wear ugly black.
And I will go forward
with your strength
and live life to
the fullest, sir.
You'll be good about this?
Oh, I have to.
Those are the rules.
I sure would
like to change them
and take you with me.
Oh, I'll go.
But you're not going anywhere.
Where am I now?
I mean, what did it do to me?
Well, you won't be
playing King Kong anymore.
What about Mighty Mouse?
Don't know about
Mighty Mouse yet.
Oh, there's my baby.
No, no, no.
Might be catching.
Will you shut up
and listen to me?
I don't want
to listen to you.
You're saying a lot of shit.
Unfortunately, it is shit.
Tough, ugly shit.
And that's not all of it.
Okay, you're saying my
fucking heart's no good.
I'm listening!
The rest of it is that
you don't get a new one.
Of course you do.
They do it every day.
Not true.
That's just not true.
Over 60, you don't get a heart.
You're joking.
You're not joking.
Who made that rule?
I don't know,
common sense, I guess.
Can it be broken?
Not really.
Hey, what are
you bawling about?
It's just...
(dog barking)
Does she know about it?
She's no dummy, Scott.
Look at her.
God, she's beautiful.
Full of health.
Damn it, son of a bitch.
Katie, I hate for you
to see me like this.
The hell is that?
What is that?
Oh come on, not a number,
for Christ's sake.
They don't mean a goddamn...
son of a bitch!
Go ahead, inject him.
You're a big boy, you know
the facts and consequences.
Facts and
consequences my ass.
Scotty, we love you
and I want you to
think about that.
Kiss me, baby,
kiss me. (laughs)
I'm sorry, Fred, I'm sorry.
I'll be back soon, pal.
Okay, okay.
Helen, I'm sorry, I apologize.
Just blew my top.
That feels wonderful. (laughs)
Why do I love you so?
Come on now.
Give me the lip.
This is a no no, no no.
I'll tell you
when it's a no no.
Come on, put out your
lip, put out your lip.
Come on, I need (mumbling).
That makes me feel better.
(serene music)
That's about it.
All right, you make the
changes and patch them to me.
No, no, no, right
here at the ranch.
I need you.
Honey, that was beautiful.
But a little more spur
and a little less love
and you might get a better
performance out of him.
Well, he's just
being a bad boy today.
Just like you sometimes.
Maybe you're right.
Let me see you ride
him around again.
(serene music)
Where have you been?
Oh, I, uh, I went to
visit an old sweetheart of mine.
No, I just, just
riding around, roaming.
You're just a bad boy.
Katie, let's go for a walk.
But you can't.
Why not?
You just can't.
Ah, come on.
Can you?
Katie, I want to
go walking with you.
You sure?
I'm sure.
Well, who backs up
first, you or me?
Okay, boss.
Come on.
How do we jump over this?
You're the genius.
You'll figure something out.
Oh, goddamnit. (laughs)
Oh God,
God, look how beautiful it is.
I love this country.
Katie, I want to ask
your forgiveness.
You're scaring me, great one.
I just want you to
remember all the good times.
That's every single second.
Once more.
Not even once more.
Oh, my love.
A lot of good things are...
...getting away from me, Katie.
It's no big deal, Scott.
You're right.
It's no big deal.
I'm no goddamn Hemingway.
I'm not even Norman Mailer.
No, don't go up there!
Please, Mrs. Scott,
I think we ought to.
No, don't go!
Please let us.
No, wait, no, don't come.
Look at me.
Don't come up here.
Ma'am I think we should.
Just go, please, just go!
Katie, my love, I short
changed you the other day
when I said you put
the cherry on my cake.
You are my cake.
And now I have to
kiss you goodbye.
(sobbing) Oh Scott, don't say
these awful things.
We are May - December lovers
and have been from day one.
We used to joke about
it, if and when,
and you always said
you'd forgive me
if I felt this was necessary.
Katie, it is necessary.
I have no options.
It's necessary that
you hold me and love me,
great one, you son of a bitch!
Oh, Scott, love me.
Oh, Scott, let me in, please.
Oh God, what have I done?
God never comes for suicides.
It wasn't a suicide.
It was a mercy killing.
I gave myself a euthanasia shot.
Very much against the rules.
I don't like rules.
How unusual.
You must be the very first
person who ever felt that way.
Who are you?
Well, the devil has her
tail and angels...
...have wings.
You, you're an angel?
Well, I must say,
you're a gorgeous one.
Thank you.
Gorgeous is a nice word.
I'm a fledgling angel.
And you are my first case.
Isn't that interesting?
I was Katie's first case.
They have shrouded
themselves in sorrow.
In his last hours in
1890, Crow Foot, the great warrior
also buried here.
Spoke of life, not of death.
What is life?
It is the flash of a
firefly in the night.
It is the breath of a
buffalo in the winter time.
(continues speaking
Katie, take a deep breath
and a deep, deep seat.
Ta Da! (laughs)
I'm back.
Please look at me.
It's me.
I'm back.
Don't be scared.
Look, it's me.
(dog barking)
Remember how we used
to joke and speculate
about how it would
be when I was dead?
Well the joke is, (laughs)
it's exactly like that.
Honey, you're wearing
black and you're crying.
And I thought there wasn't
going to be any of that.
I know, I'm sorry, Scott.
They all insist
that you be sad.
But I am sad.
I don't like that.
Are you all right, Kate?
Fine, I'm fine.
Honey, now you've
gone and done it.
Just bow your head sadly.
That'll make them
all feel better.
You'll have to go
and do something.
You know, they say
it's mandatory, got all
kinds of rules and laws up here.
Will I see you again.
You promise?
I promise.
Katie, do you...
Do you still love me?
Oh yes, I love you.
I really want to thank
you for this, this funeral.
I mean, it's better
than I imagined.
I mean, right to the letter.
I mean, the mountains,
the buffalo robe,
and I want to thank you
for inviting Gambler.
That was sweet.
He shall return again
and again, for he has
never left us, he will live on.
For the spirit knows no death.
The spirit laughs at death.
Our eyes will see him,
for that is the way
of all great spirits.
So do not grieve, my brothers.
Do not grieve, my sisters.
Great Scott, the
great Scott lives.
Scott, hey, hey.
Hey, look at the camera.
That's great.
You too, Scott.
That's great.
That's just terrific.
(Scott) God, you look
good enough to eat.
But of course that's probably
out of the question now.
Scott, am I doing this?
Am I making you up?
Honey, I don't know the
physics of the phenomenon.
But are you dead?
Yes, Katie, God
was going to get me,
so I beat him to
it with a 12 gauge.
But you could
have taken pills.
Real men don't eat quiche.
Well that's fine
for you, Scott.
What about me?
What am I going to do now?
Stand up.
Stand up on your feet.
Come on, come on, stand up.
Come on!
Now, shoulders back.
Straight back.
Stand tall.
Titties out.
Now, where were we going
before all this happened?
I can't go there now.
Honey, it's your favorite
place in the whole world.
I know, but I can't go.
Why not?
Well, because you're
out there on the prairie.
(laughs) I'm not out there, I'm
not here, I'm not anywhere.
Honey, I'm not people.
I'm just a ghost.
Come on.
Go on.
Will you come?
I'm sure going to try.
(serene music)
That's the woman.
She's the one, I'm sure,
I'm certain of that.
(Scott) Katie, Katie, look.
(laughs) I'm here.
Oh, Scott, I hate this.
Damn you and your shotgun.
She's talking to someone,
but there is no one.
Maybe on the land.
Goddamnit, Katie,
I was nothing but a
goddamn piece of meat.
Big bang was absolutely right.
Well you were
absolutely wrong.
You are absolutely wrong.
Look at you.
You're here but you're not here.
Yes, but I am here.
Damn it, Scott, this stinks.
No, you know what
it really does?
It sucks!
Please, don't use that word.
It sucks.
I'll find a way.
I'll work it out.
I promise you.
Promise me?
You can't even swim with me.
Honey, we'll do it all again.
I can hardly feel
it when you touch me.
It's like a butterfly flew by.
You're a ghost, Scott.
Ghosts can't do it,
it's that simple.
Katie, please, please
stop this kind of talk.
You stop it.
Stop it, stop it, stop it!
You blew your head
off, I didn't.
And you did this to us, not me.
Katie, will you shut up?
Shut up yourself.
Katie, will you listen to me?
I'm listening.
(laughs) That's my girl.
I'm your girl, all right.
But you're not my
man, you're my ghost.
So you do believe
I'm a ghost, huh?
What else could you be?
I mean, look at you.
Honey, there are
stories about ghosts that
come back in another body.
Oh Jesus, Scott,
don't do that to me.
Oh God, don't do that.
If it's possible,
I want to try.
Just think about it.
In another body?
You mean you'd take another body
and with this body
you'd make love to me?
You bet I would.
I mean, if it's possible.
I don't know, Scott.
That's kinky stuff.
We've never been kinky.
Honey, we could
get married again.
I mean, God, wouldn't
that be wonderful?
What would you look like?
Look like?
Yes, look like.
That's important.
Would you be young?
If you were offered a
choice, would you choose
a young man?
You know, Scott, I've
never really had one before.
(laughs) Are you kidding?
I was only 50.
How young?
I think very.
Will he be blond
or brunet,
Will he be tall, short?
Whoa, hello there!
Great, I must
look like I'm crazy
talking to a beach full of sand.
Do you need any help?
Is there anything I can do?
No thank you!
I was just trying
to remember a poem.
From here you look like
a very beautiful person!
Wish there was
something I could do!
No thank you,
I'm fine, thank you!
Fuck off, kid!
(upbeat music)
Oh, she's so...
(Scott) Look Katie, I've been
thinking, wouldn't it be wonderful
if we found someone
that looked like me?
I mean, just a little bit?
Okay, maybe younger.
I can't talk to you here,
I'd look like an idiot.
I like you when
you're listening.
I've done more
than my share of that.
What are you saying, Katie?
I didn't say that.
I couldn't have said that.
I love to hear you talk.
God, I love you.
I never loved anybody before.
Well, not as much.
I know that now.
Now you know this?
Well. (laughs)
It is marvelous to
see you, Mrs. Scott.
May I sit with you
for a moment, please?
Of course, your
honor, please do.
Oh, this is going to take
a lot of getting used to.
You know that when
we heard of the tragedy,
we all gathered here,
all of us for a memorial.
Many tears were shed.
I'm sure he would have
liked that very much.
Actually I would have.
We are so pleased
that you are back.
And you know, you should
treat every foot of this
island as your home.
Well thank you, we love
your island very much.
That makes me very happy.
Oh, I'm pleased to hear that.
Good evening, your honor.
Good evening, Mr. Garibaldi.
Would you introduce us or
could I introduce myself?
Katie, look at this.
Look at this kid.
Yes, of course, let
me do the introductions.
Mrs. Scott, this
is Mr. Garibaldi.
My name is Fausto.
(laughs) You're
Fausto all right.
And mine is Kate.
Fausto, Katie.
Take your hand away,
he's romancing you.
Are you romancing me, Fausto?
Katie, what, are you nuts?
Look at the kid. (laughs)
He's coming all over himself.
Yes, 1, your
beauty demands it.
Oh, you're the
young man who saw me
on the beach working on my poem.
Yes, I saw that and
I was fortunate enough
to see much more.
Oh, goddamnit, never, never.
Now look, Katie, don't you
fuck around with this kid.
That would kill me.
Would you like to dance?
No thank you, I
think I should get home
and go to bed early.
Oh, I'd like
that even better.
That's all, you
son of a bitch.
What did you
say your name was?
No, Senor what?
Well good night,
Senor Garibaldi.
That was fantastic. (laughs)
I love it.
Tell me, how many of
those do you have?
A bunch.
Well, they shouldn't be here.
They should be in a vault
in New York or Hong Kong.
No, if it were vaulted
in New York or Hong Kong
then I couldn't play with them.
How much are they worth?
...the sultan wants
that big mama very badly.
But he always gets
everything he wants, and I
don't think that's
very good for a person.
Everything in here,
if prices are holding up,
$1,375,000 without the O'Dare.
Oh, that's very impressive.
Well, you'd better get
them off the island.
Most of them
will be going soon.
The buyers are coming
in and they're going to
fight over them.
They were just honoring
the untimely blowing
off of your head.
Darling, you're now
the chairman of the board.
My entire empire.
The whole damn thing.
You know, this isn't a
five and dime operation.
I mean, you'll have to,
god, you'll have to work.
I shouldn't have
hit him like that.
But it was fun.
Boom, bang, just like Sugar Ray.
I should have been a boxer.
Have you any idea of
how much money we're worth?
Must be a ton because an
awful lot of very important
people are always kissing
your beautiful little ass.
Honey, $2 billion.
That's 2 billion.
Why don't you go get
a body and ravish me?
Just like the old days.
I'll wait right here.
I'll bet you it can be done.
I just don't want to leave
you alone with that Fausto.
Then zap him
and use his body.
Zap him?
You really like that punk, huh?
Oh, no, but his face
when you take him out of it
is really quite nice.
And I can't tell for sure,
but his body looks like it
might be a lot better
than just good.
She's right,
he's not too bad.
Besides, Katie likes the
way he's put together.
He's kind of young for
her, but what the hell.
It's her turn now.
And the question is,
how do I kick him out?
I've got it, I've got it.
All we have to do
is possess him.
Find a way to zap him.
My god, Scott.
What the hell
is he doing here?
Oh, honey, we can have
fun with that body.
Fausto, your body is mine.
Tell him to use sunblock.
I don't want to
die of skin cancer.
You will like him, Katie.
I saw him go skinny
dipping the other night.
Oh please, Scott, stop it.
Now see what you've made me do.
All right, all right,
you tell him your problem.
All right, I will.
You must think I'm
crazy talking to myself.
Well, I'm not.
I'm talking to the ghost
of my dead husband.
He's right there.
You do think I'm crazy.
All right, you were
skinny dipping last night.
How about that?
So, I was skinny dipping.
Well how did I know about it?
I guess you
were on the beach.
No, I was in bed.
He saw you.
Well, if you say so.
Oh, I do say so.
Do you know what he wants?
Oh shit. (laughs)
He wants to
possess your body.
Honey, honey, I don't
think he's quite grasping it.
Well then you tell him.
I prefer you possess me.
See, I don't think
he's following us.
I can't do it.
I'm not strong enough.
And I'm not wise enough.
But it doesn't take brains.
You know, you have
a nice head of hair.
It'll be nice to
have that again.
Look, I was just joking.
Well I'm not,
get away from me.
How are your teeth?
Mr. Garibaldi,
I don't like you.
That's good, not too tough.
Don't drive him too far away.
Scott, please.
But I'm just anxious.
My angel says I only
have a couple of days.
So what do you say?
All right.
You want to know what
the crazy lady and her
dead husband talk about?
I'll tell you and you'll
probably like this part.
He says you're not bad looking.
Where is he?
I'd like to thank him.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
And then we discuss a
quick way for you to die.
How do you like it so far?
Well, just the handsome part.
He just said not bad looking.
What do you think?
Well, the outside's fine.
But the inside appears to stink.
Honey, you don't have
to insult him. (laughs)
Honey, look, it's Win.
What a surprise, Winston!
Hey, Katie!
Win, Winston!
Why are you so happy?
I'm so glad to see him.
Let me look at you.
You've held up pretty well.
Those were his orders.
You're more
beautiful than ever.
How many times have
you said that in your
long life, Win?
We haven't met.
I'm Winston Hill.
Fausto Garibaldi.
Come on, Win, I want
to show you around.
Is there room for
four on this boat?
No, you're right, four would slump us.
You'd better swim.
Oh, I'm sorry, I should
have stayed on board.
No, you should be
right where you are.
No, no, no, Win
should go home and the
kid should stay here and
be wrapped up in cotton
until we need him.
Kate, when I
heard, I was stunned.
Well, what else would
the great Scott do?
He loved Hemingway.
He always admired the
way Hemingway did it.
But he's all right now.
I have it on good authority
he's an angel first class.
On his way to
becoming a good looking,
dark haired young man.
Win, something you
should look into.
He sure loved you.
I still do.
What are you doing here, Win?
Are you taking a vacation?
No, I came to see you.
You've come halfway around
the world just to see me?
I wanted to talk to you
in person about Scott's
business, your business now.
I tried to understand it,
but I never really could.
He would sit me down
and try to teach me, but
I just wanted to love
him and take him outside
and enjoy and play
with all this.
And you did too,
and he loved it.
You made him the luckiest
man on the face of the earth.
He was envied for
his beautiful Katie.
I wish I could have
done all that for him.
And I wish his empire
could have excited me.
Wait a minute, let's
hear what he has to say
about the boring empire.
Well, I'm afraid now you're
going to have to give it
your complete attention.
Tell me.
Well, everybody's
after it, hits and pieces
of it, raiders.
(Scott) Christ, I'm not cold
yet and everybody wants to
gobble me up.
What can I do about it?
Well you're
chairman of the board.
You sit on all the
bits and pieces.
You have to stop them.
But I have no
idea how to do that.
I'll show you.
(Scott) Katie, you have to go
to Hong Kong right away.
(Katie) I think I should go
to Hong Kong right away.
(Winston) I was just going to
say that, Hong Kong.
And don't forget, you be
all the woman that you are.
Boggle their brains.
Now don't be
afraid to be a woman.
It's a deadly weapon, so use it.
You used my exact words.
Exact words.
Well I hope I
make you all proud.
It's after you and
after you and after me.
Well, gentlemen, I
hope I was clear and not
too vacant headed, because
from the look of this
room, it isn't woman's work
we're doing here today, is it?
It has been decided
that there is no point
that can be argued.
The point is based
as it is stated.
It's not ambiguous.
There's no room
for any rhetoric.
You must yield.
Who the fuck are you?
I never saw you before.
Must, who the fuck are you?
I've never even seen you before.
Don't come down
to their level.
Where does that have a
bearing on the point of issue?
Tell him we 're going
back to the Indian ocean
to put away their
knives and go home.
Now I would suggest
you put away your knives.
You haven't got one sharp
enough to carve up a Scott.
The great Scott lives on in me.
And believe me, this city
will be reduced to dust
before you will best me.
Does Tai Pan ring a bell?
This has been interesting.
Tomorrow at 11:00 we will vote
and that will settle it for now.
But be assured, Mrs.
Scott, that in this room there
are knives sharp enough
to cut you to the bone.
And hearts cold enough to
eat yours as hors d'oeuvres.
You bet your sweet
little ass, honey.
You're too
pretty to eat that.
You noticed.
You've got him,
honey. (laughs)
(romantic music)
I'm sorry I'm so
shy, I'm embarrassed.
So am I.
The tango!
When you say dance, you
mean dance with a capital D.
I love it!
I can see that,
but seriously, Win,
Scott and I never danced a step.
He hated it.
You can't hate it.
No, I love it, but I
don't think I could really
dance with someone.
It was so long ago when
I was just a little girl.
It'll all come back to you.
Come on.
How can it come back to me?
I've never done this before.
Well, you're
going to love it.
(romantic music)
All right, so
you don't love it.
I'm sorry, Win.
I've just never been
with another man before.
Not even to dance with.
I understand.
Someday, maybe not
now, but someday,
you're going to have to, Kate.
Son of a bitch.
Would you like
to go for a swim?
I have been swimming
with men before.
Are there any other choices?
Let's swim.
The pool should be
empty at this time.
No, no actually I shouldn't
be swimming or dancing.
That's right, he can't,
he can't swim or dance.
(Winston) There are a lot
of calls to be made
about tomorrow's vote.
Well I'll help you.
No, no you go
on with your swim
and afterward we'll
talk strategy.
You sure?
Yeah, I'm sure.
How long you
going to stay in?
Should I get out?
No, no, no.
You stay in.
I'm going to see some
of my old buddies.
Katie, are you all right?
I don't think I am all right.
You're doing fine, honey.
No, Scott and Kate.
It was like what worked.
It's not all right
with just Kate.
It's still Scott and Kate!
It always will be.
Will you kiss me?
Honey, you won't
hear bells ring.
They haven't stopped
ringing since the first
time you kissed me.
Did I make bells ring for you?
Oh honey,
you made life ring for me.
Broad's a fucking fruitcake.
Yeah, right.
We can count on you then?
(door opens)
Put the fucking phone down.
Oh my god, oh my god.
I'm sorry, but you
scared me to death.
This is the ladies locker room.
The mens is down the hall.
You're not lost, are you?
You're right where
you want to be.
And I'm in trouble.
I won't hurt you
unless you make me.
Why would I want
to make you hurt me?
Yeah, why would you?
Just don't scream again,
do exactly as I tell you,
and you might come
out okay. (laughs)
No, no, I can't
let you rape me.
Oh no.
Hi there.
What makes you think
I want to rape you?
Because there are a lot
of rapists in the world.
Yeah, yeah, there are a lot.
Lot of killings too.
Yes there are, but
there are more rapes.
All right, whatever.
Look, I don't want
to argue with you.
You probably know
more than me anyway.
I know you didn't
come here to kill me.
You said, you said, and
this is almost exactly what
you said...
...if you don't
scream and if you do
as you're told,
you won't get hurt.
Now that's not murder.
No, you came here to rape me.
Oh, you want to
get raped? (laughs)
Yes, every day if my
other choice is killed.
I want you to be good,
so very, very good.
(Scott) I could hear you
scream clear across town.
Oh Scott, you
came just in time.
For God's sake,
you're bare ass naked.
Well I'm sorry, but I
was running for my life.
Who's the seedy
looking bastard?
Well he wants to
rape me, or kill.
I don't really know
what he wants, Scott.
What do you want?
All I want you to do is
to take two little pills.
It's so simple.
I'm not going
to take any pills.
Of course you're not.
You'd never make the meeting.
That's why Chan sent
this goddamn goon here.
That's why I told
him I wouldn't take any.
But how am I not going
to take any pills?
Katie, if you were only a man
and these were
the good old days.
Oh god, I'd pow!
But I'm not a man and
these aren't the good old days
and how am I not
going to take them?
You watch me, watch me.
Watch you?
I can hardly see you.
You know, sometimes you're
almost impossible to see.
Pretend to take
them and put them
inside your mouth.
Yes, but that's
a very old trick.
Come on, look at him.
He won't know the difference.
Look at him.
Okay, now you take these
two little pills, you see?
These two little pills.
And then we'll put you
beddy-byes, all right?
Take the pills.
All right.
Come on, take them.
There seems to be no way
to avoid these pretty pills.
So here they go.
All right, swallow
the fucking pills
or I'm going to give it to
you like the suppository!
Katie, don't!
Or I'll give it to
you like a suppository.
Honey, you've got
to fight the pills.
Will you help me?
I can't hold you up.
You're on your own.
Of course.
I'm sorry.
Get some clothes and
let's get out of here.
Now, I've been down the
shaft and it's perfect.
All you've got to do is take
a deep breath and think.
- I can't.
- Think!
I'm awake.
I'm awake.
But I'm not really.
That's bullshit,
Katie, and you know it!
All you gotta do is
think, I'm awake!
Come on, I'm awake.
I hope I can do it right.
Katie, you can
if you want to.
God, it's that simple.
I know, that's
what you always said.
So where's our new body?
That is not...
That is not that simple.
(laughs) Well, we
busted their balls.
Did I win?
I did, didn't I?
You were good.
I read your book.
And I won, I did.
I beat you.
You were very good.
You played the
situation perfectly.
So I beat the
situation, but not you.
That's what you did.
I think you like
to make mischief.
You noticed that too.
Hey, Winston.
Kate, I'm sorry!
I was late, I missed it.
No, it's all right.
We beat him, Scott said
we busted their balls.
You won and Scott said?
The pirates retreated.
Hey, wait a second.
You single handedly beat
that room full of sharks?
Yes, but I had good coaching.
Well, it really wasn't
one of my best clays. (laughs)
No, I might have
told you a thing or two,
but not enough to win the day.
No Win, you told
me marvelous things.
But Scott also helped me.
He told me exactly what to say.
You know, baby, he
thinks you're cuckoo.
Oh Win, I'm not
losing my marbles.
Don't worry, if you do
I'll pick them up for you.
Now she doesn't need
you to pick them up.
I'm going to go home
now to the islands.
Oh, I'll see you
get there safely.
No you don't,
I take her there.
Well that's sweet, but
it's not just across town.
I've always loved you, I'm
sure you've known that.
Just being around you
for a while would be
like Christmas for me.
Don't say no.
(Scott) You say no, loud and clear.
You love me?
I never knew.
Well, your Scott always
was a blinding light.
Well, that's very
nice of you, Win.
Are you packed?
Am I packed?
Five minutes.
Earlier you mentioned love, Win.
You can't talk love to him.
Love is a big word.
Love is our word.
I've loved you for
as long as he has.
Will you stop this
talk, both of you?
Oh, you stop it.
I'm sorry, Win, not you.
But he's here in
the plane with us.
And he thinks love is our word.
Well, it is, it
always has been.
You see, even he knows it.
Katie, I can't stand this
kind of talk from you.
Well you could sit out
on the wing for a minute
and then you wouldn't hear.
I'll go out
and try to behave.
Why did God make you so young?
Because you probably
wouldn't have accepted
me any other way.
Just be careful.
You've got a...
We've got a good thing going.
Don't let go of it yet.
Are you watching my
marbles fall out, Win?
Uh-huh, but I'm sure
you've got plenty left.
Oh, I don't
know about plenty.
(upbeat music)
(Scott) Are we all right?
Are we still history's
greatest lovers?
The way you put
it, we're hanging in.
I'm sorry, Win.
Our friendly ghost is back.
I heard.
You heard him?
No, I heard you!
Ch, of course me.
See, if I waited to talk
to him only when no one
was listening, I'd go
crazy because he's always
talking to me.
(Scott) I feel like you're a
kite that's about to catch
a strong gust of wind and
be torn from me forever.
I won't be that kite.
You've turned
away the wolves.
You're an amazing young lady.
Thank you, Win.
Come on, let's dance.
No, Win, I can't.
Ah, come on.
No, Win, you know I can't.
I'm sorry.
Well you're fantastic.
You like that kind of stuff?
Well yes, Scott, a
little bit sometimes.
Come on, dance with me.
(upbeat music)
What are you doing?
Well I think
I'm dancing, Scott.
Babe, where'd you learn that?
In the kitchen
or the bathroom or
wherever it wouldn't bother you.
(upbeat music)
(Winston) You said you didn't dance?!
I don't, I never have!
Not with a person.
When I return, we're
going to do this a lot.
I'll have new legs then.
(upbeat music)
Ooh, we're better
than any of them.
Even that kid with
the one glove.
Ooh, Katie!
(upbeat music)
She making you
lose it, Minister?
Hear you talking to yourself.
My god, what we've missed.
Stop that!
In God's name, I
command you to stop!
The devil is in you!
What are you doing, reverend?
Have you gone crazy?
She is desecrating
the Sabbath!
It's Friday.
Did you see her dance?
Yes, it was like a mission.
And then you came and
stopped the music, reverend.
Turn the music on, please.
Yes, I want to see her dance.
No, God says no!
No, it's all right, reverend.
It's all right.
Your she devil won't
dance any more tonight.
Praise God!
Hold me and I will take
the devil from your body.
Praise God, I can
feel it happening.
Thank you, reverend.
It's over, he's gone.
Thank you.
It's over.
I'm at peace now.
Yes, yes.
I could feel him enter my body.
God will deal with him now.
Kate, if you want
to dance, dance.
Of course, it's
not even Sunday.
Come on, honey.
Ask him to play some slow dance.
May we have slow music now?
That loud thing over there
does not make slow music.
But I'll make it for
you, yes, I will.
(slow piano music)
(Winston) Kate.
What are you doing?
Scott just wanted
to slow dance.
It's our first time.
I love it.
Are you having a good time?
(Scott) The time of my life.
(slow music)
(Scott) Katie.
I want a decision now.
But I can't kill him.
You know I hate to
even swat a fly.
Nobody's going
to come forward and
donate his body.
He's with us
again now, isn't he?
Yes, Win.
Katie, you know,
after all the research,
I've found rat poison is
the simplest. (laughs)
He certainly
gave you paradise.
I can't stand to see a
man slump like a sack of shit
on a horse or an elephant.
Can you imagine rat
poison? (laughs)
No, of course she didn't
invent the black pearl.
But who cared about it before?
Now she's turned it into
something real special.
But did she have to dive
for them with nothing on.
They say she's stark ass naked.
Well that's no big deal.
So she's wild and crazy.
And that great surgeon,
what's his name?
You know the one.
What, the breasts too?
Absolutely breasts.
Darling, who in the
world but you and me
haven't done their breasts?
Well that's true.
I'm Kate Scott.
Thank you for coming so
far to see my pearls.
(Scott) Remember how I
could hit the ball?
Ha, got you.
No, no.
(Scott) Come on now,
dig in and get it.
All right,
watch this one now.
(Scott) Katie, you were
great and will be again.
I'm only living
for that moment.
For what moment?
Oh, I was just
talking with my ghost.
Your husband?
It happens like
that with great loves.
You know, neither
can let the other go.
Hey, she's not only good
looking, she's no dummy.
Ask her if she knows
anything about possession.
He wants to know
if you know anything
about possession.
Is he looking for a body?
You know about it?
I'm a white witch.
A white witch?
Well can you see him?
But I think I can feel him.
Hi, I'm Fausto Girabaldi.
Sabine Justin.
I think Fausto and Sabine
should dance sometime.
No, there is an obvious
reason why this won't happen.
I have absolutely no
desire to dance with you.
Oh, you'll watch me
and you'll scream in your
dreams, Fausto, I love you.
And I'll forgive you, Sabine.
Oh no, no, no!
We win!
You hustle real
good, Miss Scott.
You can stay and
play in the game.
Well, that should be
a body worth considering.
That's the one he picked.
He liked the hair and the
teeth and the rest, I guess.
Well how do
you feel about it?
I don't know.
You do realize you
can only occupy a body
at the actual moment of death.
I guess so.
But how's this
death going to happen?
Rat poison.
Rat poison.
Rat poison?
Excuse me, but I do
have some shopping to do.
Okay, I'll see you later.
Katie, that should
be easy for you.
He's absolutely worthless.
He's full of vanity,
nothing more.
Scott, I need to think
about this all by myself.
The outsider,
that is what we need.
You could have such
fun with that body.
Oh, shut up, Scott!
Shut up?
Katie, shut up?
No, I didn't say that.
I said I have to think
about this all by myself.
Fair enough.
You want it, you got it.
I love you.
You should, Katie.
When you're over here,
looking back, you know.
You know what love is.
It's what we always said it was.
It's everything.
Only it takes two.
Well I'm going to think
about this now, Scott.
But all by myself.
Did you dance
with Katie like this?
I can never dance
with Katie like this.
Maybe it is a
difficult thing.
But that Mickey Mouse contraption
she has invented got it.
It's quite cunning, I feel.
I'm awfully greedy.
I want the whole thing.
You are a killer.
I think I'm going to
go see the widow Scott.
I mix a little drink
of rat poison and papaya.
And then I hand it to him.
I smile...
...and his dirty
eyes smile back.
And he drinks it all down.
But then he looks at me
in disbelief as it dawns
on him that I poisoned him.
He staggers back, falling.
Struggling, in horrible pain.
And then he dies.
But then the great one
slips into his body.
And he's up like a shot,
eyes twinkling and bright.
Then he sweeps me into his arms
and then he carries me to bed.
And looks deep into my eyes.
And says, "Don't
be afraid, Katie."
"I'm not..."
Fausto, Mrs. Scott.
Doing your poetry again?
Yes, don't go in the light.
Why, Will the bells ring?
That's Scott's house.
That sounds bad.
This the O'Dare?
Hard to believe this
is really the largest
black pearl in the whole world.
Of course it's the largest.
You're a bastard, Fausto,
a selfish, rotten bastard!
(Scott) Get a gun.
Get a gun!
This punk's up to no good.
All right, get out.
No, like you said, I'm
a selfish, rotten bastard.
Get a gun, get a gun!
Yes, yes I will.
I'll get a gun.
More of your
poetry, Mrs. Scott?
Hold on tight now!
Good girl.
A look at that should
make him go limp.
All right, out of
here now, damn it.
Do you really think a
gorgeous thing like you
could shoot a gorgeous
thing like me?
What, Mrs. Scott?
But I can't shoot!
Why, Mrs. Scott?
Move the gun a little
over to the right.
Put it on his heart!
I can't.
Squeeze the trigger.
And in one second we
could be together forever.
I know.
Oh, oh no.
Oh my god.
My god, it was all there.
I know, and I want it so bad.
Well you don't
have to want anymore.
This selfish bastard will
give you what you want.
And much more.
(Scott) God, you're sloppy.
You're better than that.
This isn't make believe!
He's not my instructor!
Put an end to it!
That was a really
good try, real good.
Fausto, go home!
I hope you're
as much fun in bed
as you are getting you there.
You should have shot him.
If you don't shut
up I'll shoot you.
We've already
been through that.
Am I hearing shut up again?
Yes, shut up
and let me fight!
All right, get him!
We're out of gas!
Hit him with a club.
Grab the club and hit him.
Are you going to use that
club like you use the gun?
Yeah, yeah.
Hit him, now!
Katie, now!
I can't!
Yes you can!
I can't!
This is perfect.
Now get the poison.
Come on.
Where is it?
Pull his lips
open and pour it in.
Yes, his lips,
I know, open them.
Pull his lips
open and pour it in.
Oh, okay, okay, no problem.
Yes, God, then God, do it!
Oh, I can't.
Goddamnit, son of a bitch!
I'm sorry.
I don't need sorry.
I need, I need that body.
And I want you to have it.
If you love me greatly
and I mean greatly,
as you always claimed,
that boy lying there
would be me.
Now unless the little son
of a bitch commits suicide,
as you kids say,
I am out of here.
I am history!
Katie, what happened?
Kate, is he dead?
But he should be.
He will be, Scott!
Oh, Winston.
Are you all right?
Katie, is he here?
Your husband.
I hurt him and he left.
He's dead.
I'm sure he must be dead.
No, no, he's not dead.
I can feel his
heartbeat very strongly.
Are you all right?
I'm trying to be, Winston.
What ever happened here?
Well, I hit him with a club.
But not hard enough.
Why'd you have to hit him?
Well, he attacked me
and we fought, and...
Oh, what a bad boy he is.
I'm arresting him now and
putting him behind bars,
and then I will find some
suitable punishment for him.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
You did very well to subdue him.
Very well indeed.
I hit him with the war club,
but my eyes were
closed or I would have
done it much better.
(laughs) Better
would have killed him.
Oh yes, I'm
sure it would have.
All right, everybody,
come on, let's go!
Everything's under control here.
Just go back to the party
and have a good time.
There's nothing
more to see here.
Just go back to the party.
Are you sure, Mrs.
Scott, that you'll...
She almost killed me.
I should have.
I'll regret the rest of
my life that I didn't!
Winston, get him out of here.
We'll see you in a while.
I'll be okay.
He's really gone.
But why?
Have I gone crazy?
I'm sure under
the circumstances,
for a moment anybody would.
No, because if I were
crazy, I would have been
talking to myself and I wasn't.
So I'm not!
But that means the dirty
son of a bitch has left me.
Katie, why
should he leave you?
Because I
couldn't kill Fausto.
Oh, I wish I had!
All right, now
listen, Katie, you didn't
and he's gone, but somehow
you have got to live on.
He has my heart.
How can I live without a heart?
Most people do
it quite easily.
I'll die.
Is there no way
I can talk to God,
man to man, directly?
Could Katie?
She could try.
It's a very busy line.
I can imagine.
I have to tell you
something important.
You have one foot in hell.
And if you continue
to incite violence,
you just may end up in
that big bad red pit.
Listen, tell me,
how do I get life back?
You can't.
Come on, of course you can.
You can possess a body.
What I'm trying
to tell you is
people are afraid to
death to die, right?
First thing they do is to
try to get back down there.
Either through
reincarnation or possession.
But you can't do that.
Those are fairy tales.
I have to get back.
Eternity without her is,
it's... it's impossible.
In our world there
are no shortcuts.
There's no way out of eternity.
You're stuck with it.
Kate, want to show
them what you've done.
Okay, Win.
You got their attention.
Oh, I'm sorry,
I'm so, so sorry.
Forgive me, I'll kill him!
I knew you would.
Don't forget about
the boogeyman pit.
At least give her a choice.
Katie, it could
doom you to hell.
Would we be together?
(Scott) Yes, yes.
(Katie) Then let's do it now.
Let's try it, let's see.
It could mean hell forever.
(Katie) Do you want to go for it?
(Scott) It might not work.
Can you hear what I'm saying?
Loud and clear,
are we going for it?
Like I always
say, thrice warned.
What more can you do?
It's up to you, babe.
We're going for it!
Where are you going?!
I'm going with you!
Okay, okay.
You're going to get him.
Hold on!
What is she doing?
Kate, wait!
I'm sorry, Win, I'm
going to go get him!
Katie, you're
going to get him.
Oh God.
Is she all right?
She's with Scott.
You believe that?
No, but she does.
Well I do too, but
shouldn't we go after her?
There's nothing here
that can catch her.
Take care!
Where is he?
He's not here, he's
supposed to be here.
Where's Garibaldi?
He and the mayor
took a boat last night
and went somewhere, I guess.
Why is he with the mayor?
I've got to get
back to the island.
I bet Fausto's there.
(Scott) You can't take the boat.
It'll take too goddamn long.
You'll never get
through the reefs.
Then I won't take the boat.
(spoken in drunk voice)
I will fill your brazier cup
with pearls for you every
year if you will be my
very beautiful wife.
But I don't wear a brazier.
You don't.
But you see already how
much you have saved for me.
(horn honking)
I have to talk to you!
Mrs. Scott.
Now, your honor, immediately!
Get him, Kate.
You're damn right!
You're damn right, of
course, immediately Mrs. Scott.
Where is Garibaldi?
He's in our fine jail.
No he is not.
He escaped?
Oh, Mrs. Scott, I wish
we had a devil's island
for this bad boy.
He escaped with you.
Me, with me?
What are you saying, Mrs. Scott?
I am saying that
you left the jail with
Garibaldi and took
a boat to where?
We took a boat?
Yes, we took a boat!
That's it, Katie,
grind him, grind him.
I'm going to ask
you one more time.
And then I'm going
to beat you up.
Oh, beat me up?
Yes, beat you up badly.
Yes, of course.
You will and I think you should.
Yes, we did take a boat.
Now, I must remember where
we went in this boat.
I'm going to count to three.
Yes, of course, but slowly.
Slowly, please.
There's a strange
diver in the pearl bed.
There's a strange
diver in the pearl bed.
That's where Garibaldi is.
I'm going to go kill him
and then I'm going to
come back and break your
body into little pieces!
They only made
one of you, Kate.
Only one.
Wait, wait!
You follow that boat, go on!
Katie, he's fouled up
in the lines down there.
He's already dead!
No, he's not dead yet.
He's not!
Let's see.
(Winston) Kate, here I come!
Katie, it's no use!
He's dead!
It's a good try,
but you missed.
Tell your Katie he's gone.
It's time you came with me.
She'll get him.
You just watch.
Bring him back.
Give him to me.
He's gone, honey.
No, I'll get him.
Give me that one
precious second.
He's back.
He's breathing.
You are the most willful!
Katie, you did it!
You did it!
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Scott, are you in there?
I flew.
Oh, welcome back,
you awesome bastard.
We have come to
witness the marriage
of two people, Kate and Fausto.
And now by virtue of
the powers vested in me
by the state of Wyoming,
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
You may kiss the bride.
You're even more beautiful
than the first time.
So are you.
(rooster crows)
Oh no, Scott.
Oh no, Scott.
No, no, no, I can't.
Scott, no more, I give up.
Isn't this fantastic?
What a wonderful way to die.
Oh no.
Did I lie to you?
Are we having fun
with this body?
I told you you'd like him.
Let's make all the
bells on Earth ring!
(bells ringing)
Oh no, Scott, oh no.
I can't, I can't anymore.
It'll kill me, I promise.
Prepare to die.
Jesus, goddamnit.
Did you fall off again?
This kid was not
much of an athlete.
Oh, poor Scott.
How do I do this?
Be careful with that rein.
I used to be able to
ride like the fucking wind.
Fausto, Fausto.
You sure are a good
looking son of a bitch.
Always have been. (laughs)
(soft music)