Girlfriends of Christmas Past (2016) Movie Script

- Cowboys?
- Cowboys?
Yes, fine, you're free to go
watch the game. Go on.
[Fran] Mom, you barely
touched your food.
The turkey was dry, even the
cranberry sauce couldn't save it.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- You good?
- Yes, I'm good.
Fran, this was a lovely meal,
thank you so much.
I'm so glad someone
appreciates it.
How about you?
You about ready to head out?
You want to leave now?
Well, I have this work
call later tonight,
and I wanted to spend a little
time with just us beforehand.
I thought that we could go
for a walk out in the garden.
Dad put the lights up.
He's a busy man, Olivia.
You understand.
No... Yeah, that's fine.
Of course we can take a walk
around the garden.
- It'll be nice.
- Okay.
I'm going to go do the dishes.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Mom, it's Thanksgiving.
He shouldn't be working
on Thanksgiving,
and you shouldn't encourage it.
Oh, honey, lighten up!
He said he'd take a walk
with you.
And anyway, maybe his work thing
is really you.
What is that supposed to mean?
[whispering] You just celebrated
your one-year anniversary!
[Fran] Don't you think he has
something else planned tonight?
Like what?
Oh, I don't know, maybe a six-karat
cushion cut stocking stuffer
that he spent his entire
Christmas bonus on just for you.
- No.
- I'm just saying.
[Livvy] I bet you never thought
you would create your own
app and be the head CEO
of your... own company
in less than six years?
No, I did not.
[sighs] It's crazy...
But that's life, isn't it?
Things... changing all the time.
But I think that everything
that's been happening
for both of us,
I think that, you know,
change is a good thing.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- With change comes growth, right?
- Yes, right.
Okay, well, there's something that I
really want to talk to you about.
And... I mean, we've been dating
for what? Almost a year?
November 28th will be a year.
Right. Yeah... Um.
So, well, since it's been
almost a year...
I've been doing
a lot of thinking...
And you know how deeply
I care about you, right?
And... [clears his throat]
And that's why...
I can't keep this going,
between us, knowing that
ultimately in my heart,
you and I just aren't quite
right for each other.
- What?
- And I know this is bad timing
with Thanksgiving and
your family and all, and,
believe me, I wanted to wait
until after the holidays, I did.
But I... [sighs]
I just did not think that
was going to be fair to you.
You're... breaking up with me?
No... Baby, come on.
Don't put it like that.
I thought you were going
to propose to me.
Oh... Wow.
I'm so sorry.
I really do care
about you, Livvy, but marriage...
- Surprise!
- Congrats!
- [bells jangle]
- [cheering]
Did you say yes?
[pop music playing]
Ooh, ooh, yeah, baby
Baby I can't stop
this feeling
My body's filled
with butterflies
My body's filled
with butterflies /
Snow is falling
Bells are ringing, jingling
That's how everybody knows
it's almost
[Murphy] I don't care what
the DA has to say, honestly...
Hold on.
Singing carols by the fire,
oh yeah
That's great.
Staring deep into your eyes,
oh yeah
If I can't have you
I'll go crazy, baby
Santa's really got his work
cut out for him tonight
[banging on door]
[Tyler] Olivia Beal
answer the door right now
or I swear
I will bust through...
with my spare set of keys.
And it'll be Christmas
every day -[sniffs]
- [door shuts]
- Livvy?
Um... Okay...
Hey. Can we get up now?
It's December 9th, and...
even the clueless barista
who makes your morning
Christmas mint latte
is starting to worry.
- Did you say December 9th?
- Uh-huh.
The Housewives
Holiday Happy Hour,
I haven't even put down
the deposit on the teahouse,
and scheduled a caterer, Tyler!
It's a good thing
your trusty assistant
was on top of things.
- Huh!
- Okay.
But we still have a party to throw today,
so please get up and get showered.
- Now?
- Yes, now!
Chocolate-covered caramel corn?
Girl, get a grip.
No. Go, shower.
Yeah, see,
nobody wants to see that.
Now go... Vamonos. Come on.
- Okay, I'm going.
- Step over the pillow. Come on.
[women chattering, giggling]
It's so good to see you.
You've done an amazing job.
But all matching snow bunny
boots for the exchange?
I mean, that's kind
of a risky bet, wasn't it?
But thanks to you,
when our husbands drag us
to Aspen this year,
we won't have to fight over who
wore them first, so cheers to that.
Oh my gosh. Can I give your card
to my husband's boss
at his firm?
I know
their normal party planner.
He's actually a little
under the weather,
- and they have this big New Year's Eve's bash.
- Thank you.
But I'm actually going
through a break...
So it's actually perfect timing.
Thank you that would be amazing.
Okay, I'm going to go mingle.
So, do what you do. [giggles]
- Umm!
- What? You heard her.
She told me earlier
that they'd be offering 15 G's
just for your commission alone!
And the nine pairs
of matching boots?
It worked, didn't it?
And besides, I was running myself
ragged at the office last week.
It's not like I had any help.
I'm sorry. You did a great job.
- Okay, thank you.
- Who knows?
What if this New Year's gig is the
turn of a whole new tea leaf?
Maybe some handsome,
grounded, young bachelor,
who donates his holiday bonus
to the Red Cross every year,
shows up destined
to meet with you.
With a hot, closeted
twin brother?
[whispers] Exactly.
You know what? You're right.
You're right.
This New Year's going to be
a whole new start for me.
Next time Anderson sees me,
he's going to be sad and alone,
and I'm going to be with
someone even better.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
- What?
- Nothing.
- What just happened?
- Nothing.
[laughs] Come here!
[Livvy gasps]
Oh, okay. Thanks.
- You scared me. Oh my gosh.
- I'll let you go.
Oh my God.
I can't breathe.
I can't breathe.
Whoa, Livvy! Just put down the
cupcake and let's talk about this.
[mumbles] That big fat cheater!
Maybe he just started
seeing her?
You're right, he's a cheater.
How could I not know
he was a cheater?
You know what?
I should go down there and tell
that child that he's a jerk.
Before he takes her back for what
clearly is a 10 p.m. curfew.
If you wanna come across looking
like a psychotic stalker ex.
Unleash the beast, Tyler!
Livvy, if you want revenge,
just blast his past all over
the Web for the world to see.
True revenge is a dish
best served over social media.
What are you
talking about? Dish?
It's that site where people go
to complain about their exes.
And how do you know all this?
I always do rigorous background
checks on my paramours.
How else would I know about all their
favorite movies and music before I meet them?
All the girls are doing it.
How have you not heard
about this?
Because you're my only
girlfriend, Ty.
And I can't just blast Anderson on a
website for the whole world to see.
Why not? He publicly humiliated
you in front of your family.
You even said your mom sent you
home with a plate of leftovers
"Livvy Hearts Anderson."
I say, out his sorry butt.
Because even if I did,
he would know it was me.
And then I would be
Livvy the loony ex.
Not if you're not the first one.
No, no. This was
an isolated incident
because he thought
we were getting too serious.
He got scared and dated some thing
that he cares nothing for. Okay?
[laughs] Okay.
Whatever keeps those sugar plums
dancing in your head at night, dear.
[giggles] Hi.
[phone vibrates]
Livvy, put down the wine.
Put down the barbell, Ty.
[Livvy] Listen, you were right.
I went to that site,
and two of his exes had just posted
there and they were just the locals.
I'm not going to say I told
you so, but I told you so.
So, I'm actually meeting PrincessPie82
and Fitigator for coffee tomorrow.
Princess what and Fit-n-gay who?
The girls Anderson dumped
right before me.
I messaged them,
and they agreed
to meet me for coffee!
But you don't know the first
thing about these girls.
Well, I know that Anderson broke their
heart just as much as he did mine.
So, then, expose his cheating in your
story, that's what the site is for, Livvy.
[Livvy] No, no.
A testimonial is not enough.
I mean, What if this next girl
doesn't see it? I didn't.
I need to know why he does this,
why he keeps doing this.
Because he's a jerk, Livvy.
[Ty] And sometimes
there is no reason.
I gave him a year of my life.
Okay, I need to have
some kind of resolution,
and I think these girls
might be able to help.
[sighs] Just be careful.
You don't know if these girls
are total whack jobs.
[Livvy] They dated Anderson.
They're clearly as stable
and sane as I am. [giggles]
[Ty] Go to bed, Livvy.
Hi. You must be Murphy McCall.
And you must be Olivia.
You're late.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- I normally bill out at 350 an hour.
Two minutes is 12 bucks,
Ms. Beal.
Can I buy you a coffee?
I don't like to owe anyone
anything, so it will be my treat.
What about the other girl?
Is she coming, or...?
Well, she just texted and said
she's running late, but...
Okay, if I don't get caffeine
in me in the next few minutes,
everyone within reaching distance
is going to pay. Shall we?
Welcome to the Toasty Roast. Happy
holidays. What can I do for you?
I'll have a double shot
with a splash of non-fat.
Hi! Are you Livvy?
Zoe! So nice to meet you.
Sorry, I have to go
to work after this
and curse this corset,
I just couldn't get
it on tight enough.
But wow, it's so nice
to finally meet you!
Wait, finally? How long have
you two been talking?
Oh, I just meant, since we've
all shared in the same tragedy,
that's like unspoken sisterhood
in my book.
A book I'm sure
comes fully illustrated.
And you must be
our other sister!
I'm pretty sure
I'm an only child,
but Murphy, nice to meet you.
So do Santa's helpers
include 10 maids-a-milkin'
now at the mall?
[Zoe] Oh, the mall? No, no.
I am a working actress,
at Party Princess.
The place they rent out
for birthdays?
Mm-hmm. I play
a storybook maiden,
and then after the cake,
I'm enchanted into a princess.
Sounds like a great job.
[Murphy] Okay, let's get
the facts straight.
So, you are saying that you
randomly saw Anderson
get into his car last night
with some... girl,
and that's the proof
that he cheated on all of us?
No. I don't really know,
but something doesn't add up.
When I think about him,
I still get stressed,
and when I get stressed,
I'm an emotional eater.
[Murphy] Look, your theory
is absurd.
I can smell a liar a mile away.
I know, I smell that way.
I'm a litigator.
Now, was I upset when Anderson
dumped me
ten months after his company
settled a court case
that they outsourced me for?
But the only reason he did that
was because he was falling
so deeply for me
and he couldn't handle
those feelings.
Not because he met her.
No offense.
That's what I thought,
but humor me one moment.
When did you and Anderson
break up?
I don't remember.
I paid a therapist good money
to black out that entire year.
Okay, well, the rant you posted
was on December 10th,
three years ago.
Was that the date
that you broke up?
Give or take a few days, yes.
[Livvy] Okay, Zoe.
You posted on December 10th
a year ago.
Do you remember the actual date
that you broke up?
I remember it was
a particularly chilly day...
The date, Zoe! The date!
Sorry! December 2nd.
That was a month after he hired
me for the holiday party,
which means he was seeing me
three weeks
before he dumped you.
Two-timing, love-drunk swindler!
Don't know how he does it.
I swear.
It was that one-month
anniversary at Belvederes,
I was hook, line, and...
He took you there too?
So what?
So he cheated on me with
a party princess pizza server.
It just is what it is,
and it's done.
Where are you going?
I'm going home, and I'm going
to call my therapist
and ravel up all this crazy that
the two of you just unraveled.
So, thank you very much, ladies.
Merry Christmas!
[Livvy] Wait, Murphy!
Don't you owe it
to this new girl
to show her what a scumbag
Anderson really is?
I don't owe that girl a thing.
Don't you owe it to yourself?
I mean, if you could go back
and see through his tricks,
your favorite flowers delivered
on the first Friday
of every month.
Or the way he would leave
little notes on the refrigerator
feigning excitement
for the wonderful weekend
he has planned for us.
Or how he would wait until the
lights go down in the theater
before offering you
a red licorice
with half of it dangling out of
his mouth about to kiss you!
If you had a chance to see his
wolf eyes under all that fleece,
I mean, wouldn't you take it?
So what do you want us to do?
You want us to go meet this girl
and unravel all of our crazy
onto her?
No. No crazy exes here.
I devised an even better plan
to get even with Mr. Whitmire
this holiday season.
It went off in my head last
night like a bright red bulb.
Oh! Can we call it
"Operation: Rudolph's Revenge"?
Yay! Okay,
what are we going to do?
[Livvy] We pray on his
weaknesses around her.
We show his true natures' self
without them even knowing
we were there.
So how do you propose
that we do that?
Who knows Anderson
better than we do?
Who has a key to his place?
Knows every meticulous routine
to a tee
and knows how afraid he gets
when things don't go according
to plan.
I venture to say
that the three of us
knows every ploy
he's willing to pull.
And if we can just stay
one hoof in front of him,
I can assure you
there will be no Whitmire
for the win this holiday season.
Who's with me?
Code name Cupid Claus,
reporting for duty!
And Rudolph has never been more
ready for revenge.
What about you, Vixen?
You out, or you in?
Let's put triple exes
all over his holiday
greeting card this year.
I could be at a holiday
happy hour right now.
Where is this guy?
There he is.
Tyler, meet Zoe and Murphy.
And Izzy Wizzy Wuzzy Pup.
Hi, ladies, and Izzy Wuzzy.
[Livvy] Okay, so tell me.
The flowers were delivered
to Anderson's office.
Why? That's impossible.
I know, but that's where the
courier took his 3:30 delivery.
He is probably delivering
the flowers to her himself.
Well, so much for Plan A, guys.
This has been
a colossal waste of time.
Maybe she works there too.
Zoe's right.
She works there.
It makes sense.
She's a holiday intern.
- Oh that...
- [Livvy] You know what?
Murphy, this could work
in our favor.
This is a good thing.
[Tyler] What are you doing?
I thought you said,
you were just going to write
a note and be done with it.
Nope. Girls, we're going
to make an anonymous basket
for Anderson come first thing
Monday morning.
What do you want to put in it?
[Murphy] So what's the plan?
You guys hang tight.
When lunch arrives,
Anderson will retreat
to his office as per usual,
and I will deliver his Christmas
basket to his temp.
Oh, that'll be lunch.
I hope Anderson's cold-cut
is cold.
I don't know what that means.
Neither do I.
Wish me luck!
[inaudible office chatter]
[office chatter]
[woman] It was so cute!
We were holding hands
for like half an hour.
And then we went to this fabulous
little ice cream shop on Third.
He ordered us two scoops of
strawberry balsamic to share.
- That's so cute.
- Right?
Can I help you with something?
I was just admiring Anderson's
big, beautiful basket.
Anderson's office
is down the hall.
No, no, it's not.
I'm pretty sure that it is.
At least for the last two months
because this is my office now.
Oh... Who are you?
I work here. Shouldn't I be
asking you that question?
Yeah, I am... I am...
[clears throat]
[stammers] Olivia Beale.
Ah. I am Carter.
Bolton. I'm the new VP of
software development.
Are you Anderson's lady friend?
[scoffs] No.
I just worked here last year
at the holiday party.
Oh, yeah.
I heard it was a big hit.
I'm a big hitter.
[nervous laughter]
[Carter clears throat]
So... you said you just saw this
sitting here when you came in?
You didn't see
who dropped it off?
Right, and I think that
maybe it could be...
[chuckles] There is no name.
I wonder if I have
a secret admirer.
Yeah, maybe.
"You've been naughty this year."
I know who this is from.
So Anderson's not the only person
who needs a lump of coal brownies?
Oh, were you digging around
in my basket?
It was nice to meet you.
- I'm going to go.
- Oh, okay.
- Oh, my God!
- It's okay.
I'm so sorry! Let me help you!
It's all right.
I'm good, thank you.
- Okay...
- I'm good.
Okay, I'm so sorry.
- Oh, wow. Cute shoes.
- Sorry.
I'm so sorry.
- You okay?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- Who's that?
Oh, that's Anderson's
new assistant, Megan.
She's a temp-to-hire.
She's... really pretty.
You seem a little jealous.
I just think, she could be
an office distraction.
Wow. Well, I mean,
if Anderson was discriminating
against someone
for being too pretty,
he might not
have hired you either.
[scoffs] Yeah.
You know what?
Here is my card, Ms. Beal.
If by any chance you would be
interested, I...
In a date with you?
Just... probably not.
No, I was actually just going
to ask if you could help me out
with the holiday party
at the country club.
I drew the short straw and I just
figured you've done it before...
Yeah, I'm just...
kind of busy right now.
Hence why Anderson probably
didn't mention my name.
And you know it's going to be
a secret that I was here,
so maybe if you like...
didn't mention it.
Okay. Yeah, yeah sure.
You know what? Why don't you
keep my card anyway
just in case...
So, how was it?
Did she leave him red and
crumbling in tidal wave of tears
in front of
the entire boardroom?
Whoa! Do you need a back rub?
He changed offices.
So I delivered it
to the wrong office
and his co-worker
ended up with it.
And then his co-worker thought it was
from this girl he was with last night.
I am... beyond words right now.
Well, that is another mandatory
vacation day
wasted on Anderson Whitmire.
So now what?
His one-month anniversary
is coming up soon, right?
That can only mean...
- Belvedere's.
- Belvedere's!
A little booze,
a lot of witnesses...
Sounds like a prime set-up
for sabotage!
Okay. So what are
we going to do?
I have an idea.
What does Anderson hate
more than anything else
during the holidays?
Feel-good music.
Fruit cake!
Jeez. That's him?
You guys missed a great show.
Beau? Livvy and Murphy. Guys?
Meet Santa.
Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!
Ain't he cute?
Well, I hope you have an Oscar-caliber
Santa hiding somewhere in those slippers.
Okay, how do I look?
- You look just like Santa!
- Perfect.
Oh, hey!
- You look so good!
- Yes!
We just contacted Belvedere's.
They have a 7 p.m. reservation,
and they'll be leaving
anytime now.
He's going to do whatever he can
not to pay you,
so you need to not give in
without a fight. Okay?
All good, ladies.
I am a trained professional.
So remember, just look for the...
Flax-haired hottie with a smile
you can snack on for days.
- I got it.
- Okay, are we don't with this little powwow,
'cause it's 6:30, and he's going
to be coming down any minute.
Good luck!
[bell chiming]
[Megan] That's not true.
- Well, it might be. It could be.
- I feel like it's not, though.
Well, hey.
Ho ho ho. Merry Christmas, kids.
Aren't you too sweet?
You look a little young
to play Santa, huh?
Ho ho ho!
Never too young
to help out the homeless.
A few pennies for the poor?
All proceeds go
to the local shelter.
[Megan] Yes, absolutely.
There you go! [clears throat]
- Babe.
- 'Tis the season to be giving.
[Megan clears throat]
Sorry, man.
I don't have any more cash.
But you always have cash.
Not tonight.
Well, how were you going to tip
the valet?
Hey, it's all good.
I get it. Money is tight
around the holidays.
You don't have the money.
I don't judge.
Are you even legit, man?
You don't exactly look like
a charity Santa to me.
I may not be the real Santa...
but I am one of
Santa's little helpers.
Okay, look, man, we have a dinner
reservation at seven o'clock,
so I don't really have time for
this, but I'll tell you what.
You show up on Monday wearing
your cute little outfit,
and I'll bring some cash,
and I'll throw you a 20. Okay?
[Megan coughs]
No cash?
Well, I guess I forgot
I went to the ATM last night.
- It was so late.
- Of course!
Short-term memory loss
is rampant this day and age.
[Megan clears throat]
Two hundred dollars.
- Wow, thank you.
- Oh, okay.
[Megan] Don't worry about it.
It's not hurting him.
Plus, the shelter needs it
more than he does.
Merry Christmas to you.
Bless you.
Homeless shelter, let's see...
Thirteen hundred bucks.
That ought to feed the charity
through the new year, yeah?
Look, man, I'm sorry,
but I have been scammed before.
And, well, I guess
you're legit, right?
You are the real deal? You're going
to send me a receipt for this?
Sure. Yeah. No problem.
Yeah, okay. Good.
That was really sweet.
Well, what can I say?
Sometimes I have a soft spot
for the homeless.
[Megan laughs]
Sorry, guys.
That dude's a charmer.
I can't believe he shelled out
1,300 hundred bucks
for some holiday intern.
She's like an after-school special
that knows how to have fun.
It is disgusting!
Well, at least we helped feed
the homeless.
Yeah, but now he looks like
some good Samaritan
instead of some two-timing pile
of reindeer patties
he really is.
It's not use. YOU know what?
She's young and she's naive,
and she's only going to see
what she wants to see.
Well, you know what? You know what
she's going to see tomorrow night?
Anderson Whitmire
at his absolute worst.
Livvy, are you decent?
Livvy, what are you doing?
This is what
plastic surgeons are for.
Shut up!
I can't look like myself.
I'm ruining Anderson's date
with the girl he's with tonight!
Have you completely forgotten about
our meeting with Lila Croft today?
You know,
the ridiculously rich lady
whose New Year's Eve rooftop party
we're throwing in two weeks
- Oh, shoot.
- Yeah.
Can you do it without me?
Livvy! This is Beal Events, Inc,
not Tyler's Entertainments.
I can't always do this
without you.
Are you kidding?
She's rich. She'll love you.
Listen, Anderson is taking Megan
for hot cocoa and ice-skating,
and as someone who has been on
that date, it's a good one.
Livvy, don't you think you're
taking this a little bit too far?
I mean, you could be out
trying to meet new guys instead.
How about we go meet with Lila
and then go out
for some drinks and boys?
Tyler, you know my portfolio
better than I do.
Okay? And you want your own
Tyler Enterprises, right?
This is really good for you.
Okay? You'll be fine.
You'll be fine.
Wish me luck!
Okay, I'm going to go get
the tickets.
You guys hurry up
and meet me there.
- Got it?
- [both] Mm-hm.
What? Why do I get
the granny wig?
Do you really want me
to answer that?
You guys were incredible!
Wow! Blond is...
very becoming of you.
Kids are very becoming...
Wait, you have kids?
No, this is my niece and nephew.
Bryce and Bailey. This is
my good friend Livvy. Say hi.
- Hi.
- Hi!
- Did you guys have fun?
- Yes.
Your hair is wrong.
- It's a wig.
- Your wig's wrong.
Kid's say the darndest things.
[Carter] Yeah, yeah.
Anyway, I have to go because
I have this tradition thing...
Oh, okay.
Well... I'll see you around?
- Okay.
- Okay
Bye! Nice to meet you.
Uncle Carter,
your friend's weird.
I think she's kind of cute?
Anderson has her so convinced
he's Mr. Perfection
that it is time to watch him
crash and burn.
What are you going to do?
I used to do a little figure
skating when I was younger.
It's called the sweet stick.
You use it to sharpen
your blades at home,
but if you sharpen them
The only question is how are
we going to switch this out
with one of his blades
without him seeing us?
Ralph Waldo Emerson once said,
"When skating on thin ice,
our safety is in our speed."
Once second, it's kersplat,
the next, it is Emerson.
Is anybody else as baffled
as I am?
You look good in those pants,
- Thank you.
- Are those leather?
These are my skating pants.
- Ah, okay.
- So look out.
Oh, yeah! Here we go.
This better be good, Anderson.
- You ready?
- I'm excited, yeah!
Let's see what you got.
[Megan laughs]
Been there.
Done that.
Bought the shirt and spilled
hot cocoa all over it.
- Come on.
- Ready?
[grunts, groans]
[Megan] Are you okay?
I think there's something seriously
wrong with these skates.
Oh, sure, blame the skates.
Yeah! -[Megan] Are you okay?
I don't think it's the skates,
but come on.
Oh, my God.
I don't think I can walk.
- Let's get you on some safe ice, huh?
- Yeah, yeah.
Hey, ladies.
You ready to shred some ice
roller derby style?
Are you kidding?
I was born on the ice.
There they are.
Oh, hey!
It's you.
You remember me?
Ho ho ho!
Oh! Hey!
You gotta stand still!
It's Charity Santa. What's up?
[Megan] Oh, whoa.
Okay, yeah, you're really good.
[Beau] Thank you.
You're not too bad yourself.
Thank you.
[Megan] Anderson,
where are you going?
[Anderson] I'm going to get
new skates.
Okay, let me... I got to...
Okay, I'm coming with you.
Hold on.
What now?
He's trading out skates?
[Murphy] And we just lost
Mr. December.
This is what happens when you
let a man do a woman's job.
Come on, girls.
Let's get to the ice.
Guys, I'm not good at this.
All right, look. I have an idea.
You just...
stay up there and just wait
and watch. Okay?
- Here?
- Yeah.
What are we going to do? Just...
[Megan and Zoe shout]
[Anderson shrieks]
I'm sorry!
[Zoe] Oh, my gosh!
Are you all right?
Yeah, I just don't know
about my pride, but, you know.
- You got it?
- Now I know how a walnut feels.
Why don't we go
to my place and relax?
That completely backfired!
He's gonna take her home
and she's gonna nurse him,
and he's gonna do
the fireside feel-up on her!
Not if I get there first.
Plan B is chilling
in the back of my rental car.
What did you get?
Remember Anderson's intolerance?
- [gasps]
- Yes!
[whispering] Zoe, watch
for Anderson's car. Okay?
Okay. Okay, okay.
[whispering] That's good!
Okay. Good.
[gasp] Guys, they're coming!
Lock the door!
Oh! Jeez!
- They're gonna see us!
- No! Why? Why?
Go back! Go back!
- [Megan] Okay...
- Yeah.
- [Anderson] I'm gonna go here.
- Okay.
- [Anderson yelps]
- I'm right behind you.
Oh! [coughs]
- [Megan] Okay... Careful.
- [Anderson groans]
[Megan] Almost there.
- [Anderson yelps]
- [Megan] Slow, slow!
All right, there's got to be
a huge bruise...
Wait! Hang on there. I got you.
- Yeah, okay.
- Okay.
- Oh, yeah!
- Okay, all right.
[Megan] You just lay there. I'm
gonna make you a pack of ice. Okay?
Okay, yeah. Ooh, and how about
some of that big kid eggnog?
You know, just to take
the edge off the pain.
[muttering] I can do this.
I told you! He's going in
for the fireside feel-up
and it's two dates too soon!
Two dates too soon?
But I got the fireside feel-up
on our second date.
He brought you here
when we were still together?
Whoa, Murph, your face
is as red as your hair.
Shh! She's coming back!
- All right. Here you go.
- Ooh, yes!
- Okay. Hold on. Be careful.
- Okay.
- Lift up just a little.
- Yeah. [groans]
Lift up.
- Okay, good?
- Oh, yeah. Good. Yes, thank you.
- Cheers.
- Now, you just lay there.
All right, yeah.
[relieved sigh]
- Yes...
- Here, I got it.
- Okay. Now...
- I got it.
Come on, come here.
Come lay next to me.
[Megan clears throat]
That'll be...
Come on, get over here!
I'm sorry I ruined
our big date tonight.
I'm such a pain in the butt.
[Megan and Anderson laugh]
No, it's okay. It's actually kind of nice
to know you're not perfect at everything.
Mm. I still think
I'm perfect at most things.
Come here.
Look at him milking her
like a dairy cow.
Until that sweet dairy cow
sends him
straight to the restroom.
- [loud gurgling]
- [Megan gasps]
What? Was that your stomach?
[loud gurgling]
What...? Be careful!
[Anderson] Give me a minute.
Hold on, let me...
[loud gurgling]
- Anderson, are you all right?
- [groaning] Yeah?
Is there anything I can do?
[Anderson] No!
I mean, I'm good, thank you!
- [Anderson farting]
- Okay, I... Maybe I should go?
[Anderson] Yeah, you know,
probably a good thing.
Just it's... My tailbone
is really just hurting me a lot.
[Anderson yelping]
Yeah. Look, Anderson, I know
what's really going on. Okay?
I have an allergy
to shellfish and I get it.
So, there's nothing
to be embarrassed about.
Do you want some acid reducers?
[gasping] That would be awesome.
That would be great.
They are in the kitchen,
above the sink,
on the right-hand side.
Thank you.
Okay. You do you,
and I'll be right back.
Acid reducers?
Go. Go...
I think we need to forget
this whole thing.
Everything we do is
bringing them closer together!
Frankly, I'm tired
of missing my cycling class
to watch the two of them
paw all over each other.
[Zoe] Maybe she's right, Livvy.
It's starting to affect
my performance at the park, too.
Princess almost cried
in front of the kids today.
No! We've come way
too far to quit now.
I mean, it's five days before the holiday
office party at the country club.
That gives us
way more than enough time
to case the joint and devise
a foolproof plan, right?
Like what?
You guys think of everything and
anything we can do to Anderson
to get us put on Santa's
naughty list.
Leave the rest up to me. Got it?
[rock instrumental
of "Deck the Halls" playing]
Should I sit at this table?
'Cause I wouldn't want you
to think I was...
hitting on you again
or anything.
I'm sorry.
I was having a rough week.
I was kind of going
through a breakup and...
Can we start again?
Well, thank you for meeting me.
I think you can tell
by my portfolio,
I'm really good
at conceptualizing a theme.
Okay, look.
I know you're a big hitter...
but I don't want
any extravagance.
What I need for you to do is
take our bland little clubhouse
and turn it
into a cozy holiday retreat.
Just make it homey,
like an old friend.
And this was Anderson's idea?
Because somehow...
I find that hard to believe.
Actually, it was mine.
[clears throat] Between us,
our firm has garnered
a reputation for being
a bit... cold.
So I thought the German investor and his
wife might enjoy some Christmas spirit.
So this year, I thought
maybe we'd step it down a bit.
Ah... So like a cozy
little Christmas at home.
Yeah. You think that's lame?
No, those are the best kind.
- So you'll still do it, then?
- Yes!
Under two conditions.
One, you can't tell Anderson
that you hired me.
It's been a while, so I want
to keep it a little secret.
- Okay.
- And number two.
Because I only have five days
to get this ready,
I have to bring my two
associates on board as well.
Yeah, sure, no problem.
Great! We'll just need
the keys to the clubhouse
and a list of all arrivals.
Carter? These are my associates.
It is nice to meet both of you,
So... do you ladies think you can
accomplish all that in five days?
Oh, of course! We've
practically already started.
Mm, you wouldn't believe
what we're capable of.
Come in!
Ty brought Thai.
And I see someone's back
in the Christmas spirits.
I think I am.
And I think it's going to be the
merriest Christmas that ever was.
Good! I am so glad
you got that whole Rudolph's
Reject thing out of your system
because we need to talk
New Year's Eve!
I was thinking we can do
an oyster bar with an open bar,
- and the bartenders can wear...
- Tyler, that sounds wonderful.
Can we talk about that
next week?
'Cause Zoe and Murphy
are coming over
and we're gonna go for this
country club Christmas thing
for Anderson's firm. It's...
Oh, so you got a new gig and you asked
Crazy One and Two for help instead of me?
Well, not exactly.
See, I couldn't use you
because we're planning on
destroying the entire weekend,
not making it pretty and perfect
like you and I would!
Tyler, please, don't be mad!
Aren't you
and the stalker sisters getting
a little out of control
with this?
What is getting back at him
going to resolve, Livvy?
It's not going
to bring him back.
I don't want Anderson back.
But you don't want this new girl
to have him, either?
I just don't want her to fall
into the same trap as we did.
I mean, if we didn't step in,
then she would be a goner.
I don't wanna leave her
as bitter and jaded as we are.
Livvy, is it even about her?
Because last I checked,
you decide if you want
to feel bitter or not.
And for the record?
I liked the Livvy
who wanted things pretty
and perfect much better.
[door slams]
[doorbell rings]
Uh-oh, someone's been naughty.
Do you remember how Anderson
freaks and squeals
any time he hears
a tiny moving object?
We named her Comet.
And Operation: Rudolph's Revenge
just got realz, yo!
[Christmas song playing]
On a cold December night
Feels so good to know that
you'll soon be by my side
Life moves fast
Gotta slow it down
Let's drink this moment in
right here, right now
So raise a glass
Raise a glass
Celebrate today
and give thanks to the past
So raise a glass
Raise a glass
All right, give a little love
share a little smile
Spread a little hope
'cause it's Christmas time
Raise a glass
The table's set
And we're all here
It's that season
when you get that feeling
Of holiday cheer...
[Livvy] Okay, I'm gonna start
untying the tree
and then we can do
some decorating and defiling!
Life is better when you've got
something good to share
So raise a glass
Raise a glass
Celebrate today
and give thanks...
[Livvy, grunting]
Okay, tree. Okay!
And you gotta go!
- Can I help with that?
- [screams]
[Livvy] Okay.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean
to startle you.
Yeah, and watch me fall
and eat tree.
You gotta admit, you're not the
stealthiest person on the planet.
Oh, I have stealth
like you've never seen before.
She says with...
bark all in her hair.
Here, let me help you with this
and you can get cleaned up.
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
But Comet wants a kiss.
Will you put that rodent
back where it belongs, please?
[Murphy] How do you expect
Anderson to pee his pants...
Hi, guys! -...unless we are throwing
him a Christmas party like no other?
Carter came to help us.
Isn't that nice?
How lovely! Thank you, Carter!
Yeah, sure, no problem.
Do you guys need me to stay?
- Help with decorating?
- No.
No, we're good.
We got it covered.
We would love some help, thanks.
- Yes, that'd be nice.
- Okay.
I can't believe you!
Now he's definitely
not going anywhere!
Sorry, but it's obvious,
he likes him some Livvy!
- It's cute.
- How is that obvious to you?
You can't even tell the difference
between an evergreen and an oak!
I thought he said we could pick
any tree we wanted!
Anyway, a true actor
is a great observer.
Well, do you have any idea
how hard it's gonna be
to set up Anderson's self-sabotage
with him here the entire time?!
Maybe we can just plant my safari
sounds CD in Anderson's car,
so it blares when he turns
the engine on to leave.
If that doesn't send Megan
screaming back into the city,
I don't know what will.
That's the stupidest idea
I've ever heard.
I bet if you just hang around,
that's gonna do the trick.
[Zoe shouts]
[Livvy] Oh! Mind your head.
So what made you get
into event planning, anyway?
Well, my mom had a theme for
every holiday party growing up.
Each had its own
special dinner menu,
and flower arrangements, so...
I guess I just became
really good at it.
And how about your colleagues? How'd
you guys meet? They seem fun.
They're great.
I met them on...
an event planning website thing.
What about you?
Why software engineering?
Well, believe it or not,
I was a bit of a computer
and gaming nerd
when I was growing up.
Don't say anything.
And... I don't know, I guess
it's just like what you said,
I just realized it was
something I was good at.
That's good, 'cause you kind of
suck at what you're doing.
We're supposed
to be making bows, so...
- I knew that.
- You did?
I did, and you know what? I bet I
can make better bows than you can.
What's your wager?
- Do you cook?
- [scoffs] Yeah!
- Delicious is my middle name.
- I'll tell you what,
I'll take the bottom half,
you take the top.
Whosever is better wins,
and if you win,
I'll cook you dinner.
But when I win...
You have to make a culinary
Christmas masterpiece.
- That one.
- That one.
What's for dinner?
[women whispering]
Do not let that rodent
out again.
It's not a pet, it's a prop.
Livvy, this food is amazing!
She's right, Liv.
It's all really delicious.
Actually, did you guys know
that Livvy's middle name
is Delicious?
What? You never told us that!
[Zoe] Who gave you
that middle name?
My exes. All of 'em.
- It's uncanny.
- [Carter] That was nice of them.
You must have dated
some really great guys.
Great guys with great words
and zero follow-through.
Men: worst
investment risk there is.
Puppies are a much safer bet.
Wow. Is this
the Broken Hearts Club?
[Livvy] If it is,
it's a big one.
Because all of us have been
through the same experiences.
We've all been lied to
or cheated on...
Yeah, but surely you recognize there
are some good guys out there still?
What happened
to your ex-girlfriend?
Well... It ended.
And she just really wanted
to get married, and...
I knew that deep down, we weren't
really in love each other, so...
So you dumped her?
Yeah. I didn't lie
or cheat on her.
Right, but you
didn't commit either.
I mean, what's so wrong
with committing to a woman
who knows what she wants
out of her life?
No. See, that's the thing. She didn't
know what she wanted when it came to us.
All she knew that she wanted was a ring on
her finger and a couple of kids someday.
It didn't matter if I was
the right guy or not.
Half the time it felt like
we barely even knew each other.
We weren't even friends.
Maybe she wanted to be more than just
your lady friend. You ever think of that?
Or an independent woman who can't
speak her mind without judgement.
Or seen as nothing more
than banging legs
and perfect teeth
and big brains.
Or maybe it's just that
you girls are chasing this image
of an unattainable guy
that you think you want,
and then when you finally
catch him, you realize,
he's not half the guy you spent all
this time cracking him up to be.
Maybe it's not the problem
that all guys are alike.
Maybe it's just that you girls
aren't very good at picking them.
Wow, is that
the same lame excuse
you're gonna give
that gift basket girl
when you're ready to call
it quits with her?
Wow... If by gift basket girl
you mean my mom? Then...
I would say no. It's probably pretty
hard to call it quits on her.
Your mother is the one that you
thought gave you that gift basket?
Yeah. I mean, she denied it,
but when I was a kid,
she used to always joke
and say if I was naughty, I
wasn't going to get any presents,
so, I just thought it was like
a secret gag gift from her.
Wait. Who did you think
gave me the gift basket?
Some girl you were seeing?
Well, if that were the case,
I guess...
I could see how that would make
me appear, but...
I'm not that guy.
Apparently not, and I'm sorry.
It's okay. We all...
misjudge a little bit sometimes.
Hey, why don't we pop on down to that
little dive bar we passed on the way in?
What? Eww! Why?
You know, so we could spread
our Christmas cheer.
Oh, right.
Yes! Yes, we should do that.
Whose going to help me
with the tree?
I could stay.
Come on. You know
you could use my help.
- Have you ever decorated a tree?
- Of course!
So, if it is honky-tonk,
Middle America in there,
we pass out invites.
But if it's a skid row
and serial killers,
then we are out of there.
Got it?
But wait.
What is middle America?
The Party Princess
52 weekends out of the year.
- Go.
- Oh.
- [door opens]
- [patrons chattering]
- [door closes]
- Zoe... Zoe!
What are you doing?!
Passing out invites
to the Middle Americans.
No, no, Zoe.
These people are not safe.
- They have scabies or rabies...
- [baby cries]
- Babies!
- No, not babies.
How cute. I love your babies!
You wanna hold one of them?
This one's Sadie,
and the gassy one here is Rosie.
Careful, that one's
full of soda pop.
You should come to our Christmas
Eve party tomorrow night.
It's just down the road,
and it's gonna be a blast.
Invite all of your friends.
No, no, no! Zoe, no!
Please, put the baby back!
We have to go. Okay?
[Murphy] Yeah, this is not safe.
[country music playing]
Oh my God, I love this song.
Oh, They don't know
Boy, it's tough to be a girl
High-heel shoes
and miniskirts
Takes at least an hour
to do our hair
[Carter] Here is
my famous hot cocoa.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
So what do you do
in your free time?
Other than take your mom
out for dinner dates.
- No, no judgement!
- Ha-ha.
Well, I'm a nighttime regular
- at the Rockin' Rotisserie.
- Oh.
And I am a sucker
for primetime crime dramas.
With "Her Convicted Criminals"
being the best one.
What? No!
- "Vegas In Cuffs" is way better.
- No way!
- [Carter] Yes. Here.
- Thanks.
And on the weekends,
a couple of my buddies and I
play in a softball league.
No way! I love softball.
- You play?
- No...
Not since junior high.
My mom made me quit.
She said,
"You can't bust out
your pearly whites.
- "Who would wanna marry you then?"
- Huh.
So what do you do
in your free time?
- When I'm not working...
- Mm-hm.
I'm a One Stop Salad Shop
kind of gal.
And on the weekends?
If I'm not doing an event,
I would...
always do whatever my ex
wanted us to do.
- He never asked you what you wanted to do?
- No. He always had a plan.
And my mom always used to say,
"A handsome man with a plan
does a good hubby make."
It's interesting.
- There you go.
- Thank you.
Well, you know what I think?
I think... you listen
to your mom too much.
I mean, I had no idea
what I wanted to do
after college and look at me.
I mean, some might even say
that I am hubby material.
I don't know.
I haven't tried the cocoa.
Mm! [coughs]
That is terrible!
It's the worst cocoa ever!
See now? Who wouldn't want to marry
the man that made that hot cocoa?
Between the banister and this,
it's a wonder you're still single.
Well, the banister thing
was a complete fluke.
I have no idea
how that turned out so well.
Actually, you've got just
a little bit right there.
And about the dinner...
I'm sorry.
No, I...
You were right on the mark.
I... haven't always made
the best decisions
when it comes to men.
Or maybe it's just...
hard to know what you're looking
for until you've found it.
Boy, it's tough to be a girl
High-heel shoes
and miniskirts
Oh! Did we interrupt something?
- No!
- Uh-uh.
You should try this cocoa.
- It's freaking amazing.
- There's more in the kitchen.
Hmm. It is the holidays.
Where do I sign on
for those calories?
[jungle animals cries]
Pretty scary, huh?
Still thinking
it's such a stupid idea?
What? I think it was a stupid
idea to wake me up like that.
[Zoe] My, my, Vixen.
What reindeer doodied on your
Christmas Eve parade this morning?
You doodied!
[Livvy humming]
[music playing softly]
when I'm feeling lonely
Baby, when I'm feeling blue
Oh, yeah
I never know if I'm gonna
make it through the day
And you walk
through the front door
Then I look at you
Baby, kiss me
underneath the mistletoe
Oh yeah, baby
That's how I know - Hi.
- [screams]
- Oh my gosh.
Oh my gosh. Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm okay.
Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh.
I'm sorry. You okay?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
It's good.
It tastes better
when it's cooked, so...
You have a little...
- Can I get it? In your hair.
- Yeah.
So was this...
another one of your stealthy moves
that I've never seen before?
About as stealthy
as that subject change was.
- Right then. Smooth.
- Yeah.
- I guess we probably should get...
- Yeah!
Cleaned up and have changed
before everybody arrives.
Oh, yeah. Thank you so much.
Okay, I got it.
Carter, I...
have something to tell you
about Anderson.
- Okay.
- I...
Wow! This place looks amazing.
Anderson, you remember Livvy,
What are you doing here?
And why are you two
caked in vomit?
We had a little...
breakfast incident.
I hired Ms Beal
to help decorate the place
for us this weekend, so...
Oh! Wow.
That's a wonderful surprise.
- Okay, let's get a drink.
- Yeah!
Hi. Nice to meet you.
[Megan] So...
how do you know Ms. Beal?
Livvy? Is... was... She was
last year's party planner,
for the holiday event,
at the firm.
And you hired her?
I ran into her in the office
the other day.
She's really pretty.
I'm sensing a little jealousy.
Come here.
You have nothing to worry about.
[Anderson squeals]
What's wrong?!
There was a...
No, we're...
It's a...
We're good. Yeah.
I'm fine.
- Beautifully decorated.
- Yeah. Thank you.
Hey, Carter. I have to use
the restroom for a minute.
Do you mind showing them
the pool and the koi pond?
Yeah, sure.
- Hello.
- Hi.
What is this?
We have cranberry meatballs,
and bean and olive tartines.
No, I mean,
what are you doing here?
And my assistant said you were at
my office this week, is that true?
I came by to drop off
your spare key,
and I ran into Carter
at your old office,
and he offered me a job.
What's the big deal?
The big deal
is that we broke up and...
I'm not so sure
this is entirely appropriate
that you even took this job.
Well, I don't think
it's entirely appropriate
you sharing a room
with your assistant,
especially one that you told me
wasn't that attractive...
Livvy, look at me.
I swear to you,
when I hired Megan,
I had no intention
of ever being with her.
And it was after
you and I broke up
that I even asked her out
I am so sure, Anderson.
But you know what?
Whatever you do in your life
is your business.
I'm just here to serve
hard apple cider and...
set the mood!
You sure this isn't
some sort of deep-seated,
desperate attempt
to get me back?
We know what a deep-seated
attempt would mean,
that I would actually
have to have feelings for you
in the first place.
Right. Yes.
I mean, you did want to marry me
like, what, a month ago?
I'm over it, Anderson.
Why would I be here if I wasn't?
You weren't planning on telling
Megan about our past?
I've been working with Carter
for two weeks
and I haven't told him, so...
why would I tell Megan?
Good. Good.
So just... make sure and...
drop off that spare key
to my house
when you're all finished up here
and heading out.
Wow. You look...
insanely beautiful.
Thank you.
Um. So after tonight, I would...
really like to see you again.
Would it be too presumptuous
of me to ask
if you have any New Year's Eve
plans as of yet?
So I'm doing a rooftop party
at Old Garth Manor on Second.
Right, of course.
Would you like to come?
I would love to.
- Okay.
- Oh, okay.
I am going to go and let you
finish getting... foxy!
I actually have something
to tell you
about Anderson before...
Okay, look,
if you're going to tell me
that you had a thing
for him before...
you don't have to,
'cause I already know and...
it's fine.
How do you know that?
Well, I saw the way you sized-up
Megan that day that we met and...
I also saw you sneaking into that
gift basket to see who it was from
when you thought it was from
one of his girls, so...
- Well, actually, what I was...
- You know, Livvy,
I don't care that
you had a thing for Anderson.
Most women do.
And not to knock my boss,
but from everything I've heard,
he's taken advantage
of a lot of women.
And... I'm just glad that
you're not one of those girls.
Why are you sneaking in
from the balcony?
Oh... that's a...
good question.
Yeah, well,
we didn't want to come in
through the front door,
under the mistletoe
because then we would have to,
like, kiss,
and that would be like, whoa.
Okay... I am going to go now.
I see someone has fallen head
over heels this holiday retreat,
and it surely
wasn't for a Whitmire!
Livvy! Have you even taken care
of any of your duties all day
while we've been gone,
or are you just sucking face
with Santa the whole time?
Did you rig the bathtub?
Did you plug the chimney?
Excuse me?
I have been too busy cooking
all day to do any of that.
Okay. Well, have you even thought about
what you're going to tell Carter
when 50 strangers show up
banging on that wreath?
Okay, if you guys
just stay scarce,
Anderson's not going to know
we're involved in any of this.
And if he does, it's his word
against mine. Okay?
Oh, okay. So you just want
us to stay scarce,
so that
you can take all the glory?
I think what she's saying
is she wants us to do it
so that she can be
with Carter and...
if that makes Livvy happy,
then I'm on board
Okay. We'll do that.
We'll just stay quiet
and we'll stay out of sight.
Thank you.
Who wants
my secret recipe sangria?
Ooh, me!
I think I got
a little something stiffer
in the liquor cabinet for you.
- Yeah?
- O'Dwyer's single malt.
42 years.
Twenty-two grand a bottle!
- Please.
- Yeah.
[mouthing words]
Jeez, for a 12-pound poodle,
you are seriously deadweight.
Get... Get off.
[Anderson clears throat]
Anyone seen my O'Dwyers?
'Cause it was here this morning.
Here, get rid of this.
[cork pops]
What are you doing?
You said to get rid of it.
I didn't mean like that.
I meant...
It's the holiday.
Hey, Livvy, are the girls
gonna be joining us?
- What girls?
- Oh, Livvy's assistants.
Uh... Excuse me. Olivia Beal
has female assistants?
- Where's Ty?
- Ty? Who's Ty?
- He's...
- [doorbell rings]
The door... bell.
- Is... I'm gonna go.
- [doorbell rings]
Were we expecting anyone else?
- Oh!
- [all] Merry Christmas!
Is this Mr. Whitmire's
tacky sweater party?
- Suppose it is. Come in.
- Nice.
Uh... Hi. And...
Who invited all of you...
- guys here?
- Do you know Mr. Whitmire?
- I... am Mr. Whitmire.
- Then you did.
That's funny, 'cause I...
- Hey!
- That's assault.
[Megan] Come on in. Hi.
Whoa! That's a shiny
and a lot of metal and...
Sunglasses at night.
- Hi!
- You're good.
Ooh. Hi.
[nervous laughter]
I'm real sorry about this. I'm not
real sure what's going on here,
but I'm gonna throw
these people out, right now.
- Anderson! It's the holidays.
- What?
You can't just throw
all these people out?
What if they have
nowhere else to go?
Megan. This is not part
of the plan.
Why do you always have to follow a
silly little rigid plan anyways?
I mean, really.
What's the big deal?
Yeah! Why can't
they just... stay?
- Livvy did make plenty of food.
- Yeah.
I did make a lot of food.
You're right. I mean,
what's the big deal, you know.
- The more the merrier.
- It's party time.
- [Anderson] It's party...
- Party, party, party.
Party, party, party.
Hey, did you invite
all these people?
Oh, yeah. I'm really sorry.
No. What are
you apologizing for?
I mean,
it's a risky move, but...
investors are having
a great time.
Oh. Okay. You go entertain them.
I'll be right there.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Is that holiday sangria realness
you're serving up, Lady Beal?
What are you guys doing here?
They're gonna recognize you.
Amongst all of these characters?
I don't think so.
Come one, Cupid. Let's ride.
[piano music playing
jazzy Christmas music]
Here you go.
Hey, Livvy. Can I talk to you
for a minute?
I'm sorry. I know you're working
and everything. I just...
wanted to ask...
I probably shouldn't.
No, it's okay. Ask away.
Well, I wanted to ask, um... Have
you known Anderson very long?
Well, I...
did the last holiday party,
so I've known him
a little bit, yeah.
Okay. So then, you know,
from a girl to a girl...
I know you don't know
him very well,
but we've been seeing
each other for a month now,
and he's so wonderful, it seems
like it's too good to be true.
So, do you think
he's a nice guy?
When I'm dating a guy that I
think is "too good to be true,"
I go on this website called
and it is all these girls
talking about their exes.
It's... You should check it out.
Oh! I've never heard of it.
Is it for older women?
- No. It's for everyone!
- Great!
But I still would kind of like
a person's real life opinion.
So, what do you think of him?
That's it!
Who drank my O'Dwyers?
[whispers] What?
[Zoe] Tyler!
[Tyler] Hi.
- Hi. What are you doing here?
- Zoe invited me.
What? You said to invite anyone
I know who likes to get crazy.
It's a nice tacky
sweater, by the way.
I didn't know it was
a tacky sweater party.
[Tyler] What is all of this?
Have you completely gone
Anderson might be
a little angry,
but I haven't cost him
his job, Ty.
We just wanna make sure he doesn't
unwrap this poor little girl
before Christmas Eve. Okay?
I mean, he should be thanking me.
The investors love it.
What about you? Looking like
a desperate, crazy person?
Because I completely don't know
who you are anymore.
If you came here to lecture me
like my mother, Ty,
you can leave, okay?
We're just having
a little bit of fun.
When did you become such a...
When did you become
such a sour apple?
I'm sorry.
Is everything okay here?
Yes, yes. This...
is Ty...
Tyler. Tyler.
Your old assistant?
- Old assistant?
- He didn't mean that.
Zoe and Murphy
aren't my real assistants.
- Mm-hm.
- Tyler is!
Rudolph! It's time for singing.
[Tyler] I'll be leaving now.
Looks like you're wanted
on stage anyway.
Merry Xmas, Livvy.
- [Zoe] Come, come.
- [stammers]
- Just one minute.
- Okay.
Once upon a time
in a faraway kingdom
Santa made a promise like
he thought he could keep one
Santa, baby, this is not
the story you thought you knew
'Cause this little missus
has a little surprise for you
You've been bad, bad, bad
to some good, good, good gals
Made us mad, mad, mad
if you couldn't tell
You've been real, real busy
breaking hearts for Christmas
And now you're
on my naughty list
It's a stormy Christmas
The wind is gonna blow
Chill you to the bone
Leave you all alone
It'll be okay
The blues are here to stay
You can make 'em go away
But first you're gonna pay
It's gonna be
a stormy Christmas
It's gonna be
a stormy Christmas
It's gonna be
a stormy Christmas
[crowd cheering]
Yeah! Right on! Right on!
That song was dedicated to all the
jerks who done us ladies wrong!
What is this?
What's going on here?
- It's payback.
- For doing us wrong.
Anderson, what is going on here?
These are all
my crazy ex-girlfriends.
That's what's going on here.
The Charity Santa.
That was you, right?
And then the broken skates.
And the O'Dwyers that I smell
on your breath.
And the eggnog.
It was you. Wasn't it?
Oh, you bet your
sweet little butt it was.
[Zoe] This is what happens
when you cheat on nice girls
with other nice girls
who become friends
to seek revenge.
Anderson, is that true?
- Megan, these girls are crazy!
- Is it true?
Livvy and I were over by the
time you and I started dating.
And what does it matter
when it ended?
It matters.
'Cause men like you give men
like us a bad name.
That was for you too.
[whispering] Thank you.
Can you talk?
Your check's on the dresser.
I'll have a crew sent over
after the holidays to...
clean the place up.
I'm sorry...
that I didn't tell you the truth
about Anderson.
I mean, I tried to, but...
Was that before or after
you tricked me into hiring you?
Did it ever occur to you that
I could lose my job over this?
Not at first, but eventually.
I mean, that's why I tried
to keep the girls out of sight.
And then when I realized what I
got myself into, it was too late.
When you said that Anderson had
taken advantage of all these girls,
I didn't want you to think
I was one of them.
You were the first guy...
who hasn't treated me that way.
That's exactly
how you treated me, Livvy.
You played me like a fool.
You even had me believing that this stupid
holiday romance was the real thing.
Everything I felt for you,
Carter, here...
it was all real.
I didn't expect to fall for you
during all of this.
We just wanted to get back at
Anderson for making a fool out of us
and show him he couldn't
keep doing this to every girl.
I didn't... mean to make
a fool out of you.
Do you know
what it feels like to be...
lied to and cheated on
over and over again?
No, you wouldn't.
That is... That is such crap.
Anderson didn't make
a fool out of you.
You girls, you did that
just fine on your own.
I mean, I understand that it
hurts to have your heart broken.
I've had that before.
Okay, but I what
I don't understand
is why you would continue to let someone
who's hurt you have so much power over you.
Anderson doesn't have any power
over me. Not anymore.
No, Livvy...
Anderson has had
all the power over you
on every decision that you've
made since the day you met him.
And even now,
after he cheated on you
and left you,
he still has all the control.
Don't you see that?
No. You wouldn't. Would you?
It feels good, doesn't it?
Finally socking it to Anderson
the way we always dreamed?
You know, in a way.
But in a way, it doesn't
really change much either.
What are you talking about?
I don't know about you,
but I'm never going to forget
that look on his face
when he found out.
That was classic!
[sighs] I don't know.
Maybe Carter's right.
Maybe we're not very good
at picking good men.
So, what? We should date down?
- Ew.
- No.
No. We should date... up.
You know,
like raise our standards.
How? In a world
where there aren't any.
Maybe that's the problem.
Maybe if we...
stopped settling for less
and start expecting more...
others would follow suit.
You think?
You're really smart.
I know.
You learn a lot eavesdropping on
third-graders while they eat pizza.
So, Murphy and Zoe told me
where you found them.
I checked out all my fans
on ""
I wanna sue you all
for libel and slander.
But I won't.
'Cause I deserved it.
You know, I know that there's not
much I can say at this point...
but I do want you to know...
I'm really sorry
for hurting you.
It's not you.
It's me.
When things in my life
get too serious,
for whatever reason...
I shut down.
Well, I don't think
it's entirely your fault.
I think we all put you
on some pedestal
that... you didn't
really belong on.
You know, the funny thing
is Megan didn't.
I think that's what
I really liked about her.
Not to say that you don't have
your own amazing traits.
I mean, not only are
you one of the most...
beautifully kind and quietly generous
people that I have ever met...
But look at all this. I mean.
You are one heck
of a party planner, my friend.
Even if it was just to...
decimate a guy that...
a guy that you once
hoped to marry.
A guy that didn't deserve you
in the first place.
So if you end up
with old Carter...
I think you'll find
it gets better.
Well, I don't know
if that's gonna happen
because I really screwed
that one up.
You're not gonna fire him,
are you?
Of course not.
I am gonna have
a little chat with him
about letting wily women affect
his work performance though,
because apparently I wrote
the book on it.
Will you please forgive me?
Well, it's Christmas, Anderson.
What kind of person would I be
if I didn't? Mmm?
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
Did you lose your investors?
Aaah, yup. Yeah. I think so.
I tried giving them my two tickets
to the "Nutcracker, but..."
- "No danke!"
- I'm so sorry.
Oh. Whatever. Admit it.
You, you enjoyed watching Megan
dump me just a little bit.
Yeah, I enjoyed the heck
out of it, but you know what?
You deserve to be better
for yourself next time too.
- [Anderson laughing]
- Last one.
- Okay.
- Yeah, just last time.
[Anderson] Yeah, right, Lefty.
Livvy, honey. You know when
you're depressed,
that dessert counter only
compounds your problems, right?
I'm not depressed, Mom.
I'm just eating pie.
Honey, it's obvious you're still
hurting over Anderson.
And this pie is not gonna help
get him back.
So, why don't you
give him a call and wish him
Merry Christmas!
Maybe he's thinking
about you too today.
Anderson was...
that I thought I wanted,
just nothing that I needed.
A friend.
And... just because I...
have a guy I can have fun with
or some girlfriends to sing
karaoke, it does not mean
that I will ever
stop needing you.
I will always need...
shopping on Sundays
and homemade pumpkin pie.
And maybe if Dad's
not looking, then...
we can sneak out and sing
some karaoke together.
Well, I was with the women's
chorus when I was in college.
- I know, I heard!
- Hey, hey, hey.
Honey, you know I just want you
to have a good life, right?
I know.
So, whatever makes you happy,
I'm happy for you.
- I love you, sweetie.
- And I love you.
I feel like if I had like one
last slice of pie, I'd be done.
No more pie. And... No.
Out of sight, out of mind. Go.
And I
Remember it all too well
I close my eyes
And I can touch,
taste, smell
And I am there...
- Hi.
- Hi.
I got you something.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- Hug?
- Hug.
- I missed you.
- I missed you.
- Okay, is that still...
- Yes!
- It is?
- Yes!
- I didn't think it was open.
- It's open.
- You can leave it right there.
- [knocking on door]
Hi. How are you?
Thank you!
- Good to see you. You look nice.
- Thanks, darling.
We laugh until
our stomachs hurt
And I
I wouldn't want it
any other way
These December days
Hey. This just came for you.
Thanks, Kay.
That from anyone special?
I don't know. What is special?
I mean, what constitutes as special
for one man could constitute as a...
complete waste of time
for another. So...
Hey, I can take that.
'Cause you're right.
Somehow I treated Livvy
like a...
complete waste of time.
Well, look. From one guy
who lived to regret it...
Don't you make
that same mistake I did.
- [lively chatter]
- [jazzy music playing]
You two have done
an outstanding job.
Thank you.
I'm not sure I'll ever hire
that cranky old party
planner again.
Credit actually goes to Ty
because he did the whole project
from start to finish.
Ty... Have you met
my son, Gregory?
- Nice to meet you.
- Hi.
Do you wanna grab a drink?
- Hi. Hi.
- Hello.
Wow. It's nice to see
young love still exists.
- I wanted to say thank you.
- For what?
I realized I've never had
true girlfriends before.
My mother always said: "Never trust
a single girl around your man"
because she will always
stab you in the back."
Wow! I think what she meant
to say was that you
can trust a true girlfriend
around your man...
'cause if he screws you over,
we'll stab him in the back
for you first.
- Cheers!
- Cheers!
To Santa's
three favorite reindeer.
- Mm!
- Cheers!
- I'll be back.
- Oh yes.
I think they're gonna kiss.
- Hi.
- Hi.
What are you doing here?
I came here to tell you
two things.
Please don't ever put
almond milk in my cereal.
'Cause I am deathly allergic
to almonds.
[Livvy] Yeah.
And... Two.
Spring sign-ups for my softball
leagues start next week, so...
How about I sign us up?
I would love that.
- Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.
- Come on. The countdown is starting.
- Okay.
- Come on.
- Hi. I'm coming.
[all] Ten, nine,
eight, seven, six,
five, four, three, two, one!
So, you're the handsome,
grounded young bachelor
that Tyler said I was destined
to meet on New Year's Eve.
My question is...
Do you donate your entire
Christmas bonus to...
the Red Cross every year?
- No.
- No.
No, but I have been known to
volunteer as a Charity Santa,
every couple of years
if I'm able to.
Well, Mr. Bolton I am...
very excited
to see your sexy Santa outfit.
Oh, well. Ho ho ho.
Still not funny.
Merry Christmas, Livvy.
Happy New Year.
Once upon a time
in a faraway kingdom
Santa made a promise like
he thought he could keep one
Santa, baby, this is not
the story you thought you knew
'Cause this little missus has
a little surprise for you
You've been bad, bad, bad
to some good, good gals
Made us mad, mad, mad,
if you couldn't tell
You've been real, real busy
breaking hearts for Christmas
So now you're on
my naughty list
It's a stormy Christmas
The wind is gonna blow
Chill you to the bone
And leave you all alone
It'll be okay
The blues are here to stay
But you can make
them go away
But first you're gonna pay
It's gonna be
a stormy Christmas
For you
I thought we'd have a wedding
but it ended with shotguns
Blew my heart to pieces Should've
listened when they said run
You never thought
it would come back around
I bet you never thought
you'd be the talk of the town
You're not the only one
who's got little helpers
To be kind of honest
you're not even clever
Finally figured out
Karma never fails to show you
what you're worth
It's a stormy Christmas
The wind is gonna blow
Chill you to the bone
Leave you all alone
It'll be okay
The blues are here to stay
But you can make them
go away
But first you're gonna pay
It's gonna be
a stormy Christmas
For you
All my life
I believed
in certain fairy tales
Some things
you just don't outgrow
Finding my king
No, I'm not letting go
of those dreams
My life can be free...