God of Chaos (2022) Movie Script
1
It's Okay. Having only a static shot
is my only option
I think sadness is the origin of life
From the moment you are born, you'll
open your mouth with expressing sadness
When you die, you'll be accompanied
by sadness
When you're unhappy with
being born into this world
Others are filled with joy
cause they're seeing a cute baby
When you're happy that you're
leaving this hell
Others are filled with sadness
cause you're not with them anymore
It seems like, In a lot of moments of
life, this kinda paradox is see-able
My life wasn't an exception
I haven't smoked a single day of my life
But I do remember when I was a kid
I used to wake up to my father's
habit: smoking!
Till the time my parents divorced I wasn't
aware of my father's addiction to drugs
I mean he has never done it in front of us
The worst habit he used to have
in front of me was...
smoking cigarettes
The addiction didn't just made
us poor
But it also made us isolated from
our relatives...
...Of both side.
They were all aware
of my father's addiction
And that was the reason for
the lack of getting visited
I do remember in Nowruz I was
eager to see...
Some miracle for us...
To travel to someplace
or visit some relatives
I don't wanna say that trending
phrase in Iran...
"He was born into a religious family"
Cause it wasn't like that
My family was facing with
financial problems so much...
That they didn't even have time
to think about the existence of God
The things that changed my path into
religion were...
These three elements I suppose
A) Having a not-religious family
B) My aunt's family
C) School and TV
You might be shocked bout the
first element
But I say whatever your family is into
You'll be most probably not into it
Since there's a will of disobedience
and rebellion in human nature
A will of refusal
It means that my not-religious family
formed my path to religion
I remember when I started to
pray
I used to hide it to avoid being mocked of
Didn't want my family to see.
Yes my family was isolated
But you can't normally
keep a child isolated
I liked to have contact
with my aunt's family
Cause my aunt had sons around
my age
and we could be playing with each other
So the first time, I was allowed
to leave the house alone
I went to them
And their family were pretty religious.
That made these kinda
beliefs grow inside me
And that's not the only thing.
As a kid in Iran, when it's time
for you to go to school
you'll be grown up with religion
and even in university
It won't leave you, cause
It's one of the courses
We were used to going to...
Religious places
Like Qom, Jamkaran and...
About the TV, I gotta tell you
that when we were kids
I do remember that TV used to
broadcast cartoons with at least...
some religious concept.
The family wasn't ineffective
I mean all those times together
All those travels we had
I think impressed my beliefs
Also we didn't have many fun activities
What kinda fun do you think a teenager
in Iran has?
Mosque, Basij, Congregation
I do remember, We were so eager
to go to some congregation and receive some
votive foods
I don't think you can imagine any
other type of fun for an Iranian teenager
It's not as simple as it seems
If you work on the phrase "Day Is Night"
for 1400 years
Write thousands of books and theories
about it
Thousands of people try to
justify the phrase
And thousands of books getting written
for it
It'll become a strong belief
Not that the statement is true but
because It's being talked about "a lot"
Thanks to thousands of so called
Islamic Scholars and nearly...
200 sects, a religion like Islam
is being talked bout a lot
No one is even noticing the fact that
If you prove that 0.001% of a religion
is false
You're proving the whole religion is false
If a religion has come from God
It should be %100 true
Cause God can't make mistakes
Anyway. I remember in my
technical school days
I was so fascinated by religious books
and articles over the internet
One of the Islamic websites that If I'm not
incorrect was called Valiasr
Was answering religious questions
so convincingly
In that age of mine, I was thinking
How good they are that are convincing
people so logically
I was telling myself that, how great
It'll be If I'll be able to answer
The questions that are misleading people
I was researching a lot about religion
In my teenage years that...
I was preaching in a little congregation
my cousin and his friends
had set up
I mean I had read Islamic books
and I used what I learned from them
in my preach.
During that time
we often visited religious shrines
I kinda surrounded myself with religion
With religious beliefs
These were not scant reasons for
Applying to an Islamic School
Since I proceeded the application through
Techincal High School...
I had to study high school books too
You need to study high schools sources
for the entrance exam of Islamic Schools
I was so eager to leave my family and to
enter an Islamic School that...
... I don't know how did I read
all that books
and entered one of the best
Islamic Schools named Marvi
I don't how do you imagine an Islamic school
(Hawza Ilmiyya)
For a Muslim, especially Shiites, it's
easy since
They've seen it a lot in TV
and religious sources
But for a non-muslim, it might be
a little difficult to imagine
However, I'm sure they know how does
a mosque look like
Imagine that same mosque
Its yard full of rooms ( Hojre )
In every Hojre, two students(Talabe) live
The word comes from Talaba
It means "wanting something"
Talabe means someone who wants
something
And it is used for someone who wants
to master the religion
and reach the level of Ijtihad
What you'll be learning in Hawza
is to master the religion
Quran Tafisr, Arabic literature Theology
fiqh or jurisprudence, Logic & Philosophy
Beside the fact that every talabe must
pray Salat al-jama'ah 5 times a day
at the mosque (prayer in Congregational)
He also should attend classes
like a university or school
And discuss the things that he
learned with his classmates
This kinda discussion is that...
You have to teach the things...
...You've learned to one of your classmates
I think it's a great way of learning
Since both sides would completely
comprehend the lesson
At the first presence in Hawza
You'll pass a probation period called Misaq
You'll pass through some filters
Right. They wanna make sure you're
not a spy or something
I wasn't pretending
I really believed in Islam
Some nights I woke up from the bed
to have night prayers
It's a really long prayer!
It might takes 2 to 3 hours
You'll wake up at 2 in the morning
and you'll be praying till 4 or 5
It's a pretty hard thing to do
unless you really have faith in it
Among the courses in Hawza
I was pretty much interested in
Logic, Arabic Literature and Theology
However I did like Theology the most
You might don't know what Theology is
(Kalam)
Kalam tries to prove religion using logic
That's excatly why I was there, right?
Proving religion using logic
I don't wanna look self glory and stuff
But I was being conisdered a good talabe
To the point that when they
fired me from Hawza
I've been told by one of the friends
I had contact with after getting fired
He told me that one of the masters
Cried over me!
He told me, that when the master was
mentioning my name during attendance
He cried and told everyone how a good
Talabe I was
Well I easily could gain a top grade score
in Kalam, Logic, and Arabic Literature
A lot of talabes wanted to discuss
the courses with me
Music
I think my first serious encounter
with music
Was around the age of 11 or 12
With Electro genre
Why electro? Cause the first time
I heard a song in that genre...
was from Deadmau5 in Fifa 12 I assume.
Some call him Deadmau five which is wrong
At that age, you'll be mostly looking for
thrill and stuff
so that kinda music impressed me
and I've searched every similar genre
on the internet and downloaded them
and listened to them
Of course before attending Hawza
Cause when I attended Hawza
I had to leave the music
Not that I wasn't religious before
going to Hawza
But I wasn't that religious
to ban music for myself
But when I attended Hawza
Couldn't do anything about it
And I had to ban it for myself
Since Islam doesn't belive in music
I know I know, there are a lot of Islamic
countries...
holding concerts and stuff
But the thing is Islam isn't an updated
religion
Since Islam creators are dead
or never existed
In a country like Iran
they might hold Pop concerts and such
But not because it's a Halal genre
But becasue they can't leave it!
We have seda and sima in Iran, right?
(Iran Broadcasting)
But what would be left if they remove Seda?
(Music)
Scholars have a tendency to pretend
that Islam is upgradeable
But we have hadith in Islam that says
!
It means "Music is Haram"
it doesn't say which genre.
It says it's Haram at all!
But scholars are masters of paralogism
They can do every kinda fallacy
and misleading reasoning to the point
they can say
"Among all the metal subgenres, only
Alternative Metal is Halal"
During The period I was studying in Hawza
I wanted to experience that kinda
Thrill in music so much that...
...I came accross two kinds of music
A) Epic
Which can be the most Halal like
thrill kinda music
B) Islamic Black Metal, and Islamic Dubstep
Funny, eh?
In Islam especially Shia Islam
They can even tell you if the breakfast
you had this morning was...
...halal or not
There was a trending topic over the internet
at that time
"Arrival of Yamani"
Or it's better to call it
"Arrival of Ahmad-Alhasan"
Since a lot of people know him by that name
I might need to explain some stuff here
To show how related this thing
is to our topic
Shia Islam believes in some savior
named Muhammad ibn al-Hasan al-Mahdi
Who is over 1200 years old and
is supposed to...
arrive when people are ready
to accept...
...the savior
Where's Yamani in this story?
In Shia Islam we have a hadith
stating someone named Yamani would
rise to prepare the...
...arrival of Mahdi
Also we have in hadith that
If Yamani rised...
You'll have to run toward him whether
you're naked or shoeless
Cause he's one of the main Mahdi's ashab
(companions)
I had to follow the story
All my faith depended on it
Right, there's always someone
claiming something
But this one was diffrent
He knew what he was talking about
He knew what are the problems in Islam
and was trying to answer!
I don't know who he is, where's he from
But He's more literate than the
majority of Isalmic Scholars
Not that he was right
But he knew where to talk bout
He has written many books
and I've read some of them
At that time, it seemed reasonable to me
And I couldn't care more about
his claim
I had a friend in Hawza
He was a fun and non-dogmatic talabe
We had a lot of discussions
after attending classes
I was thinking to myself that he is the
first I should bring up the subject with
After a long period of discussion
What do you expect him to answer?
Navid! Does the hadith give enough
details about...
...Yamani to follow?
I said No!
He said "Then what are you looking for?"
I said come on man!
Have you even read the hadith?
It says you have to follow Yamani
What if he's the promised Yamani?
He said "Right! it says to follow him.
But it doesn't say who exactly he is"
I finished the discussion somehow
But later on, I did think about that
And I said to myself
"It's a huge paradox!"
Someone tells you
Go and find Asghar
Your whole life, your salvation
your everything depends on him
The whole science is gathered in him
And he dies the exact moment he
finishes telling you that
Now you're all on your own with
millions of Asghars
And millions of so-called Asghars
What kinda nonsense is this?
This one question turned into
two, three, four
five, six questions
My mind was filled with questions that...
...I had no answer for them
Think of a dam
You have covered its hole with your finger
It won't stay the same
There'll be more holes
Cause the dam is Broken!
Religion is the exact same thing
When you're facing with a question
and you can't find an answer for it.
You'll doubt everything
One thing that most don't notice is that
religion is claiming
it's convincing people this way
It's claiming that I've come from God
If something is from God, it must be
%100 true, right?
Being a scholar is terribly hard
Cause religion has problems
it certainly has
And if you prove that 0.001% of
a religion is false
The whole religion would be doubted
It can't leave a question unanswered
Since it's claiming I've come from God
Meanwhile, majority of Shiites Scholars are
stating that there'll be a lot of unanswered
questions in the occultation period
It means the scholars know
that there's not any answer
But they are distracting themselves
Think of a wheel trail
a little wheel trail in a clock
break it, and the whole
clock would stop working
An Islamic scholar is facing such
an awful task
Of course he'll loose
Science with all the experience and logic
behind it
Many times states "I Don't Know"
But religion isn't the same
It has to have an answer!
It's claiming I've come from the above
I've come from God
These kinda nonsenses
I've started to look for answers
with all these...
Questions I had
I've asked the masters, Qom Scholars
I've debated with them
I traveled two times to Iraq!
Debated with them in Arabic
What kinda answer did I get?
Nothing! Nothing!
Not a single logical answer
from ones who have studied the damn Islam
for over 80 years!
I was so in doubt that
When I traveled to Iraq to visit...
The shrines of Hussain, Ali, and
Hasan Askari...
...I was litterally...
Crying in their tomb and
asked God to show me a way to
give me some answer
But when the Quran and Imams of Shia
don't have any answers
From whom should I expect an answer?
I've gathered all these questions
and illogical answers in...
...Two Books titled "Halaji Aghayed"
& "Mantegh Poshali"
All those debates are gathered
in these two books.
And unfortunately, these two books
had bad consequences for me
It wasn't only about
my enlightening anymore
It was about enlightening everyone
I started with my friends in Hawza
I've asked them the same questions
and they had no answer
I wasn't attending prayers cause
I didn't believe so
But on the other hand, I couldn't
quit
How should I tell it? was kinda
like army, at least for me
Cause Hawza's principal doubted me
The questions I asked the masters
the students
All of these caused doubt in him toward me
Why did I enter Hawza?
So I can answer
the misleading questions
But I realized I was misled myself
I was in the logic class, sorry it was
fiqh that the principal called me
to his office
Mr. Jamshidi Why are you here in Hawza?
I was asking myself "What kinda
question is that?"
Everything must have gone horribly wrong
Some stuff must have been leaked
I told myself that this is Interrogation
I said I'm here to answer the
misleading questions
I'm here to gain the knowldge to answer
He asked answering or creating
misleading questions?
I didn't answer at that time. I realized
he must have figured everything out
He told me that...
Some talabes told me Mr. Jamshidi...
Is asking questions that we don't have...
any answer for
Do you know how long I had to
talk to them just to make them pray again?
Mr. Jamshidi, anyone around you is
neglecting prayers
I was telling myself that I hope
this ends well
I won't be around any religion anymore
I was scared that moment
He told me you're lucky that I
didn't report this
He asked me to go away and told me staying
here is Haram for me!
I packed and moved away as soon
as possible
But I didn't trust the principal's words
That's why I couldn't sleep for days
I think I barely slept 2 hours a day
I was stressed
It's an awful feeling to sleep with fear
every night
It won't result in a minor conviction
for sure
If the principal knew that I converted
to atheism
If he was sure that I am an atheist now
They could easily sentence me to death!
some nights passed and I felt
safe
I started again
I published my books
the ones I had written in Hawza
I published nearly 200 volumes
through a familiar bookbinder
and I distributed them personally for free
I wasn't that stupid to use
my real name
I used an allonym "ManteghZadeh"
Why did I publish?
Cause I just realized
All that stupid sharia laws
are not excuseable
Yes I slept a few days with stress
But many got killed!
I was so furious
Really I was
Afterward, I started debating and
interviewing on the internet
through Instagram, Youtube
I was censoring my face using effects
Or wasn't showing my face at all
I didn't show my face
I started to enlighten everyone I could
Till the time...
My mom called me from inside
my grandpa's home
Thankfully, she didn't call me directly
Contacted me through Internet
She told me that I'm summoned
by Special Clerical Court
I asked her to scan and send
the subpoena through the internet
Cause if she had done it directly
It would have caused me problems
I did throw away my sim card
And probably a relative has told her
not to call me directly
When I read the subpoena
I didn't show up at
my grandpa's place again
It might not be an easy
decision not to see my mother again
Cause there was that possibility
But If I would have come back
I could never see anyone again
But now that I'm thinking about it
I wish I would have
Immigration isn't a fun story
The subpoena was from
Special Clerical Court
It was a surprise for me to see
how stupid and old the system of
Islamic Schools is that they didn't
remove my information yet
and the subpoena is from
Special Clerical Court
I had some basic law knowledge and...
...I knew when they don't bring up
the reason for the summoning
It means you've done something awful
Something huge and unforgiveable
I realized what's it all about
However, I don't know how did they figure out
that it was me behind all those activities
Anyway it would have been a stupid thing
to stay
We had a little house near Karaj
In the middle of almost nowhere
and they wouldn't buy it for a good price
When we were living in that old
grandma's home
grandma died and the home
was inherited by the heirs
We took that money and bought the house
And since there were a lot of heirs and
no one bought the place for a good price
The only house we could buy was that
little house in the middle of nowhere
My mom sold the place
She sold it and
I had the money to run from the country
If you don't show up at the court in time
They'll issue an arrest warrant
which they did
My mom told me that they'd entered
the house and been looking for me
At any cost, I ran from the city
by taxi
And moved to border towns
I couldn't stay in the same place
till everything was prepared for my journey
And I started my journey
across the borders illegally
I hope no one would be forced
to leave the country illegally
It's a horrible path
I do remember when I started
moving across the borders
It took me 9 hours in sub zero degrees
to cross the border
At first I was thinking I would
run like a gazelle
I haven't smoked in my whole life
Of course it'll be easy for me
As soon as I started running up hills
for 2 mins
I could barely breath
But I couldn't go back
The smuggler would be your god
in that situation
You have to listen to every word of him
Running is exhausting enough
Let alone running uphills without rest
for hours!
The smuggler will swear you.
swearwords you've never heard of
Of course he'll motivate you this way
Which I thought is a good way at that time
I had to run the whole path
When I crossed the borders, my shoes,
and my jacket were worn out
They were torn
I couldn't sleep since I was
afraid of the Police
Till the sumggler decided it's time to...
..move toward a city that accepts refugees
The situation was awful
Because If the police notices you
You'll be deported back to Iran
which means death to me
Because everything was obvious
that court wasn't gonna help
In Islam, the verdict of someone
who leaves Islam is death
It's about a normal person
let alone me who was a Talabe who
left Islam
and is now making others atheist
Obviously nothing except death
was waiting for me there
Staying alive did matter to me
at that time
I might have a diffrent point of view
now
But it did matter to me at that time
I think it started with logic
It might seem funny
DSBM and Logic?
The thing is the more you
study logic
You'll be more able to see
what's going on around you
People aren't mostly happy with
being logical
Cause logic shows you the
real side of the world
I think the origin of life is mixed
with sadness
Every memorable thing we recall
is sad
The most succesful play scripts, movies
books, songs are sad
the most successful people on earth
were mostly depressed or isolated
And some of them committed suicide
The religion
it's based on sadness
It says I know this life sucks
But there's a better world.
That's the main difference between
Black Metal and religion
Black Metal says: there is no God or
hell afterlife, most probably
Hell is the life we're experiencing
Let me talk bout Sikhism
Sikhism is one of ancient
religions of Punjab, India
They say this life is hell
And if you don't wanna get back here
You should get far as you can
from your ego
from pride, you must kill your ego
I don't wanna say if it's true or not
But I see a definitely right belief
This life is hell!
That's what DSBM is saying!
Some might say that DSBM is
encouraging suicide
I don't get it. What's the problem here?
Let me give you an example
There's an unfair and illogical
system on earth
I'm an atheist but
I don't praise the modern society at all!
The modern society praises
a girl who shows off her breast...
...more than someone who contributes
to the society for real
Let me say it financially
You might spend ten years of yours
researching or studying at a university
Which is very good
And when you step out of the college
you'll get a job and have a fixed income
Meanwhile, there are a lot of useless people
showing off their bodies
and making ten times more money than you
The more you know, more depressed
you'll be. That's a fact
A bright person is an idealist
He/she wants to see the ideal in the world
around him/her
When he/she sees the world
is at its worst
let alone moving forward
He/She'll find him/herself more isolated
than before
shallow, stupid, and superficial
These are features of the world
we're living in
How can someone be happy
in this world?
Unless he/she doesn't give a shit
about the others
And makes a distance between him/herself
and the world
Which is not a very idealistic thing to do
Because a human can't forget
about the others
What in Black Metal and especially
DSBM have fascinated me are...
...those fast guitar riffs and
loud screams
The screams which are sick
of this life
Sick of this stable
What we're seeing in DSBM
is a deep observation
the same thing that great literates
and great artists have been involved with
Screams in Black Metal are mostly
instrument
Mostly instrumental than lyrical
Mostly emotions than words
Normally you won't understand the words
If you don't read the lyrics
It meant to be like that
You're not supposed to understand
the words of someone
who's sick of this hell and is screaming
in pain and...
...sorrow
Black Metal was perfect for me
A logical point of view to the world
Fighting against religion and superstitions
What else I wanted?
Black Metal Is The Scream Of Truth
My first serious encounter with
Cinema Industry as a career
was writing
The same thing that dragged me to
death
is gonna express me to you
The exact thing you're watching right now
I started with scriptwriting
The first serious script of mine
was a script titled "The Bitter Wines"
[The Bitter Wines In Persian]
It's a feature script
bout some young fella who drinks certain
old wines that take him back to the year
marked on the wine he drunk
Unfortunately in today's world
Screenwriting isn't a really good job
Since they don't buy scripts these days
That's a fact
websites promising you the promotion
of the script you've written...
...are mostly scam
And it won't get you anywhere
The most succesful attempt of mine
in screenwriting is...
a feature script titled "Endless Darkness"
And is in pre-prodcution by Brad Case
I'm not paid for the job since
Brad's production isn't that...
...huge
And that's why he did read my screenplay
Those huge studios where pay you
for the screenplay...
won't even read your logline
And that's why I stepped up the game
using my mobile phone
and started making what I had in mind
Filming Black Metal Music Videos
Why not?
DSBM is the thing that I have
many ideas for
And so far have made three music videos
Personally think Despair
is the best among them
Since it has an actor, story and everything
Let me talk more about it
The song's been made by two underground
bands from Germany and Iran
You can see my objection to
the modern society
A man who eats pills...
to make his routine life tolerable
And when he refuses to eat
he'll meet the truth
The truth is death
and When he figures out
that the truth is death
He'll accept it with open arms
and in the end, he happily dies
I think it is my best music video so far
And in fact I have in mind to...
Improve the superficial music vidoes
of DSBM and Black Metal
To make the audience
Not only satisfied with the music
But also witness the deep...
...mesaage of Black Metal
GOD?
Doesn't exist or doesn't deserve
worshipping
I don't think there's another possibility
When I was studying in Hawza
The main thing I've learned through Kalam
Was proving God's existence
Many reasonings
and arguments
Which I say are nonsense
I don't say God exists or not
I say his existence has not proved yet
and If it does someday, it doesn't matter
Since he hasn't done anything yet!
Why do we expect him to act after
his existence is proved?
If you worship and praise God
whole your life
He won't give a shit
If you blaspheme him whole your life
He won't give a shit
If he could, there woudn't have
been any black metal
Or me sitting in front of you
blaspheme him
Of course, he won't give a shit
cause he doesn't exist most probably
Call him in any language you want and
if he did answer, spit in my face
Let me Try it for you
Where The Hell Are You?
Nerdesin?
I just called him in 4 languages
and He still doesn't give a shit
And most probably he won't ever
give a shit
Millions of people have already called him
and are doing it everyday
And will do
If there was any god he could defend
himself
against all these fanatic liers
He could defend himself
against
all these nonsense religions
It might have been hard for me
at first to lose my faith in God
But I dealt with it slowly
Unfortunately, there are a lot who can't
Let's think of a 28 y.o. girl
Who just realizes her parents
were not her real parents
How hard it would be for her
to believe the truth
That's the exact same scenario with God
And can't deal with it
Even if they know God doesn't exist
I don't believe Religious insulting
is wrong at all
I do applaud...
...dear Varg for burning down
the churches
Wasn't it insulting when Abraham broke
down...
...People's idols?
You're destroying someone's God and
Expect them to do nothing in return?
This is not the only thing
When the religion itself is an...
...insult to humanity, is it wrong
to insult it?
Let's say someone breaks into
your house and chop off your dad's head
And he'll reply with it's my belief
...to kill an infidel.
Would you respect his beliefs?
If so, you're an idiot
I was close to death myself
If I wouldn't have run away from my country
this documentary wouldn't have existed
If I would have been killed
Would it be respecting beliefs?
What kinda nonsense religion is that?!
It says you have to sign this paper...
...stating you'll be killed if you leave
Many are believers cause they're scared
I mean they haven't accepted it
using reasonings
in other words, they haven't accepted
it themselves!
Really!
Many's belifes are based on Pascal's wager
Which is basically nonsense
Pascal's wager says: God either exists
or does not.
If you'll worship God,
and he doesn't exist
You will have only a finite loss.
If he exists, not only...
you haven't lost anything
but gained infinite heaven
But if you don't worship him
and He doesn't exist
You haven't lost anything But if
he exists
You will have an infinite loss
He could be right if there...
.. was only one belief on earth
Not when there are 16000...
religions which is even impossible to
rememebr the names
Every religion claims that if you follow
another one, you'll fall into hell
So you can't follow them all
There's not any religion claiming that
If you don't follow my rules, you'll be saved
You can't follow the rules of
all the religions
It's obvious that the reasoning is nonsense
If there wasn't any religion
There would have not been any
Black metal today, most probably
Many discrepancies
would have disappeared
Many hatreds would have vanished
But unfortunately, governments
love to keep people stupid
Cause a bright person
won't tolerate force and violence
The media is considering garbage
as art, on purpose
making garbage movies on purpose
making shitty music
mainstream, on purpose
Keeping people stupid, on purpose
Cause if you'll follow garbage
you'll become garbage
and if you'll become garbage
Your brain would stop working
and if your brain stops working
False politics can easily rule
I hope morality and art
improve
And I hope there'll be a day...
... that we won't need Depressive
Suicidal Black Metal
Is that okay?
Having only a static shot is my only option
It's Okay. Having only a static shot
is my only option
I think sadness is the origin of life
From the moment you are born, you'll
open your mouth with expressing sadness
When you die, you'll be accompanied
by sadness
When you're unhappy with
being born into this world
Others are filled with joy
cause they're seeing a cute baby
When you're happy that you're
leaving this hell
Others are filled with sadness
cause you're not with them anymore
It seems like, In a lot of moments of
life, this kinda paradox is see-able
My life wasn't an exception
I haven't smoked a single day of my life
But I do remember when I was a kid
I used to wake up to my father's
habit: smoking!
Till the time my parents divorced I wasn't
aware of my father's addiction to drugs
I mean he has never done it in front of us
The worst habit he used to have
in front of me was...
smoking cigarettes
The addiction didn't just made
us poor
But it also made us isolated from
our relatives...
...Of both side.
They were all aware
of my father's addiction
And that was the reason for
the lack of getting visited
I do remember in Nowruz I was
eager to see...
Some miracle for us...
To travel to someplace
or visit some relatives
I don't wanna say that trending
phrase in Iran...
"He was born into a religious family"
Cause it wasn't like that
My family was facing with
financial problems so much...
That they didn't even have time
to think about the existence of God
The things that changed my path into
religion were...
These three elements I suppose
A) Having a not-religious family
B) My aunt's family
C) School and TV
You might be shocked bout the
first element
But I say whatever your family is into
You'll be most probably not into it
Since there's a will of disobedience
and rebellion in human nature
A will of refusal
It means that my not-religious family
formed my path to religion
I remember when I started to
pray
I used to hide it to avoid being mocked of
Didn't want my family to see.
Yes my family was isolated
But you can't normally
keep a child isolated
I liked to have contact
with my aunt's family
Cause my aunt had sons around
my age
and we could be playing with each other
So the first time, I was allowed
to leave the house alone
I went to them
And their family were pretty religious.
That made these kinda
beliefs grow inside me
And that's not the only thing.
As a kid in Iran, when it's time
for you to go to school
you'll be grown up with religion
and even in university
It won't leave you, cause
It's one of the courses
We were used to going to...
Religious places
Like Qom, Jamkaran and...
About the TV, I gotta tell you
that when we were kids
I do remember that TV used to
broadcast cartoons with at least...
some religious concept.
The family wasn't ineffective
I mean all those times together
All those travels we had
I think impressed my beliefs
Also we didn't have many fun activities
What kinda fun do you think a teenager
in Iran has?
Mosque, Basij, Congregation
I do remember, We were so eager
to go to some congregation and receive some
votive foods
I don't think you can imagine any
other type of fun for an Iranian teenager
It's not as simple as it seems
If you work on the phrase "Day Is Night"
for 1400 years
Write thousands of books and theories
about it
Thousands of people try to
justify the phrase
And thousands of books getting written
for it
It'll become a strong belief
Not that the statement is true but
because It's being talked about "a lot"
Thanks to thousands of so called
Islamic Scholars and nearly...
200 sects, a religion like Islam
is being talked bout a lot
No one is even noticing the fact that
If you prove that 0.001% of a religion
is false
You're proving the whole religion is false
If a religion has come from God
It should be %100 true
Cause God can't make mistakes
Anyway. I remember in my
technical school days
I was so fascinated by religious books
and articles over the internet
One of the Islamic websites that If I'm not
incorrect was called Valiasr
Was answering religious questions
so convincingly
In that age of mine, I was thinking
How good they are that are convincing
people so logically
I was telling myself that, how great
It'll be If I'll be able to answer
The questions that are misleading people
I was researching a lot about religion
In my teenage years that...
I was preaching in a little congregation
my cousin and his friends
had set up
I mean I had read Islamic books
and I used what I learned from them
in my preach.
During that time
we often visited religious shrines
I kinda surrounded myself with religion
With religious beliefs
These were not scant reasons for
Applying to an Islamic School
Since I proceeded the application through
Techincal High School...
I had to study high school books too
You need to study high schools sources
for the entrance exam of Islamic Schools
I was so eager to leave my family and to
enter an Islamic School that...
... I don't know how did I read
all that books
and entered one of the best
Islamic Schools named Marvi
I don't how do you imagine an Islamic school
(Hawza Ilmiyya)
For a Muslim, especially Shiites, it's
easy since
They've seen it a lot in TV
and religious sources
But for a non-muslim, it might be
a little difficult to imagine
However, I'm sure they know how does
a mosque look like
Imagine that same mosque
Its yard full of rooms ( Hojre )
In every Hojre, two students(Talabe) live
The word comes from Talaba
It means "wanting something"
Talabe means someone who wants
something
And it is used for someone who wants
to master the religion
and reach the level of Ijtihad
What you'll be learning in Hawza
is to master the religion
Quran Tafisr, Arabic literature Theology
fiqh or jurisprudence, Logic & Philosophy
Beside the fact that every talabe must
pray Salat al-jama'ah 5 times a day
at the mosque (prayer in Congregational)
He also should attend classes
like a university or school
And discuss the things that he
learned with his classmates
This kinda discussion is that...
You have to teach the things...
...You've learned to one of your classmates
I think it's a great way of learning
Since both sides would completely
comprehend the lesson
At the first presence in Hawza
You'll pass a probation period called Misaq
You'll pass through some filters
Right. They wanna make sure you're
not a spy or something
I wasn't pretending
I really believed in Islam
Some nights I woke up from the bed
to have night prayers
It's a really long prayer!
It might takes 2 to 3 hours
You'll wake up at 2 in the morning
and you'll be praying till 4 or 5
It's a pretty hard thing to do
unless you really have faith in it
Among the courses in Hawza
I was pretty much interested in
Logic, Arabic Literature and Theology
However I did like Theology the most
You might don't know what Theology is
(Kalam)
Kalam tries to prove religion using logic
That's excatly why I was there, right?
Proving religion using logic
I don't wanna look self glory and stuff
But I was being conisdered a good talabe
To the point that when they
fired me from Hawza
I've been told by one of the friends
I had contact with after getting fired
He told me that one of the masters
Cried over me!
He told me, that when the master was
mentioning my name during attendance
He cried and told everyone how a good
Talabe I was
Well I easily could gain a top grade score
in Kalam, Logic, and Arabic Literature
A lot of talabes wanted to discuss
the courses with me
Music
I think my first serious encounter
with music
Was around the age of 11 or 12
With Electro genre
Why electro? Cause the first time
I heard a song in that genre...
was from Deadmau5 in Fifa 12 I assume.
Some call him Deadmau five which is wrong
At that age, you'll be mostly looking for
thrill and stuff
so that kinda music impressed me
and I've searched every similar genre
on the internet and downloaded them
and listened to them
Of course before attending Hawza
Cause when I attended Hawza
I had to leave the music
Not that I wasn't religious before
going to Hawza
But I wasn't that religious
to ban music for myself
But when I attended Hawza
Couldn't do anything about it
And I had to ban it for myself
Since Islam doesn't belive in music
I know I know, there are a lot of Islamic
countries...
holding concerts and stuff
But the thing is Islam isn't an updated
religion
Since Islam creators are dead
or never existed
In a country like Iran
they might hold Pop concerts and such
But not because it's a Halal genre
But becasue they can't leave it!
We have seda and sima in Iran, right?
(Iran Broadcasting)
But what would be left if they remove Seda?
(Music)
Scholars have a tendency to pretend
that Islam is upgradeable
But we have hadith in Islam that says
!
It means "Music is Haram"
it doesn't say which genre.
It says it's Haram at all!
But scholars are masters of paralogism
They can do every kinda fallacy
and misleading reasoning to the point
they can say
"Among all the metal subgenres, only
Alternative Metal is Halal"
During The period I was studying in Hawza
I wanted to experience that kinda
Thrill in music so much that...
...I came accross two kinds of music
A) Epic
Which can be the most Halal like
thrill kinda music
B) Islamic Black Metal, and Islamic Dubstep
Funny, eh?
In Islam especially Shia Islam
They can even tell you if the breakfast
you had this morning was...
...halal or not
There was a trending topic over the internet
at that time
"Arrival of Yamani"
Or it's better to call it
"Arrival of Ahmad-Alhasan"
Since a lot of people know him by that name
I might need to explain some stuff here
To show how related this thing
is to our topic
Shia Islam believes in some savior
named Muhammad ibn al-Hasan al-Mahdi
Who is over 1200 years old and
is supposed to...
arrive when people are ready
to accept...
...the savior
Where's Yamani in this story?
In Shia Islam we have a hadith
stating someone named Yamani would
rise to prepare the...
...arrival of Mahdi
Also we have in hadith that
If Yamani rised...
You'll have to run toward him whether
you're naked or shoeless
Cause he's one of the main Mahdi's ashab
(companions)
I had to follow the story
All my faith depended on it
Right, there's always someone
claiming something
But this one was diffrent
He knew what he was talking about
He knew what are the problems in Islam
and was trying to answer!
I don't know who he is, where's he from
But He's more literate than the
majority of Isalmic Scholars
Not that he was right
But he knew where to talk bout
He has written many books
and I've read some of them
At that time, it seemed reasonable to me
And I couldn't care more about
his claim
I had a friend in Hawza
He was a fun and non-dogmatic talabe
We had a lot of discussions
after attending classes
I was thinking to myself that he is the
first I should bring up the subject with
After a long period of discussion
What do you expect him to answer?
Navid! Does the hadith give enough
details about...
...Yamani to follow?
I said No!
He said "Then what are you looking for?"
I said come on man!
Have you even read the hadith?
It says you have to follow Yamani
What if he's the promised Yamani?
He said "Right! it says to follow him.
But it doesn't say who exactly he is"
I finished the discussion somehow
But later on, I did think about that
And I said to myself
"It's a huge paradox!"
Someone tells you
Go and find Asghar
Your whole life, your salvation
your everything depends on him
The whole science is gathered in him
And he dies the exact moment he
finishes telling you that
Now you're all on your own with
millions of Asghars
And millions of so-called Asghars
What kinda nonsense is this?
This one question turned into
two, three, four
five, six questions
My mind was filled with questions that...
...I had no answer for them
Think of a dam
You have covered its hole with your finger
It won't stay the same
There'll be more holes
Cause the dam is Broken!
Religion is the exact same thing
When you're facing with a question
and you can't find an answer for it.
You'll doubt everything
One thing that most don't notice is that
religion is claiming
it's convincing people this way
It's claiming that I've come from God
If something is from God, it must be
%100 true, right?
Being a scholar is terribly hard
Cause religion has problems
it certainly has
And if you prove that 0.001% of
a religion is false
The whole religion would be doubted
It can't leave a question unanswered
Since it's claiming I've come from God
Meanwhile, majority of Shiites Scholars are
stating that there'll be a lot of unanswered
questions in the occultation period
It means the scholars know
that there's not any answer
But they are distracting themselves
Think of a wheel trail
a little wheel trail in a clock
break it, and the whole
clock would stop working
An Islamic scholar is facing such
an awful task
Of course he'll loose
Science with all the experience and logic
behind it
Many times states "I Don't Know"
But religion isn't the same
It has to have an answer!
It's claiming I've come from the above
I've come from God
These kinda nonsenses
I've started to look for answers
with all these...
Questions I had
I've asked the masters, Qom Scholars
I've debated with them
I traveled two times to Iraq!
Debated with them in Arabic
What kinda answer did I get?
Nothing! Nothing!
Not a single logical answer
from ones who have studied the damn Islam
for over 80 years!
I was so in doubt that
When I traveled to Iraq to visit...
The shrines of Hussain, Ali, and
Hasan Askari...
...I was litterally...
Crying in their tomb and
asked God to show me a way to
give me some answer
But when the Quran and Imams of Shia
don't have any answers
From whom should I expect an answer?
I've gathered all these questions
and illogical answers in...
...Two Books titled "Halaji Aghayed"
& "Mantegh Poshali"
All those debates are gathered
in these two books.
And unfortunately, these two books
had bad consequences for me
It wasn't only about
my enlightening anymore
It was about enlightening everyone
I started with my friends in Hawza
I've asked them the same questions
and they had no answer
I wasn't attending prayers cause
I didn't believe so
But on the other hand, I couldn't
quit
How should I tell it? was kinda
like army, at least for me
Cause Hawza's principal doubted me
The questions I asked the masters
the students
All of these caused doubt in him toward me
Why did I enter Hawza?
So I can answer
the misleading questions
But I realized I was misled myself
I was in the logic class, sorry it was
fiqh that the principal called me
to his office
Mr. Jamshidi Why are you here in Hawza?
I was asking myself "What kinda
question is that?"
Everything must have gone horribly wrong
Some stuff must have been leaked
I told myself that this is Interrogation
I said I'm here to answer the
misleading questions
I'm here to gain the knowldge to answer
He asked answering or creating
misleading questions?
I didn't answer at that time. I realized
he must have figured everything out
He told me that...
Some talabes told me Mr. Jamshidi...
Is asking questions that we don't have...
any answer for
Do you know how long I had to
talk to them just to make them pray again?
Mr. Jamshidi, anyone around you is
neglecting prayers
I was telling myself that I hope
this ends well
I won't be around any religion anymore
I was scared that moment
He told me you're lucky that I
didn't report this
He asked me to go away and told me staying
here is Haram for me!
I packed and moved away as soon
as possible
But I didn't trust the principal's words
That's why I couldn't sleep for days
I think I barely slept 2 hours a day
I was stressed
It's an awful feeling to sleep with fear
every night
It won't result in a minor conviction
for sure
If the principal knew that I converted
to atheism
If he was sure that I am an atheist now
They could easily sentence me to death!
some nights passed and I felt
safe
I started again
I published my books
the ones I had written in Hawza
I published nearly 200 volumes
through a familiar bookbinder
and I distributed them personally for free
I wasn't that stupid to use
my real name
I used an allonym "ManteghZadeh"
Why did I publish?
Cause I just realized
All that stupid sharia laws
are not excuseable
Yes I slept a few days with stress
But many got killed!
I was so furious
Really I was
Afterward, I started debating and
interviewing on the internet
through Instagram, Youtube
I was censoring my face using effects
Or wasn't showing my face at all
I didn't show my face
I started to enlighten everyone I could
Till the time...
My mom called me from inside
my grandpa's home
Thankfully, she didn't call me directly
Contacted me through Internet
She told me that I'm summoned
by Special Clerical Court
I asked her to scan and send
the subpoena through the internet
Cause if she had done it directly
It would have caused me problems
I did throw away my sim card
And probably a relative has told her
not to call me directly
When I read the subpoena
I didn't show up at
my grandpa's place again
It might not be an easy
decision not to see my mother again
Cause there was that possibility
But If I would have come back
I could never see anyone again
But now that I'm thinking about it
I wish I would have
Immigration isn't a fun story
The subpoena was from
Special Clerical Court
It was a surprise for me to see
how stupid and old the system of
Islamic Schools is that they didn't
remove my information yet
and the subpoena is from
Special Clerical Court
I had some basic law knowledge and...
...I knew when they don't bring up
the reason for the summoning
It means you've done something awful
Something huge and unforgiveable
I realized what's it all about
However, I don't know how did they figure out
that it was me behind all those activities
Anyway it would have been a stupid thing
to stay
We had a little house near Karaj
In the middle of almost nowhere
and they wouldn't buy it for a good price
When we were living in that old
grandma's home
grandma died and the home
was inherited by the heirs
We took that money and bought the house
And since there were a lot of heirs and
no one bought the place for a good price
The only house we could buy was that
little house in the middle of nowhere
My mom sold the place
She sold it and
I had the money to run from the country
If you don't show up at the court in time
They'll issue an arrest warrant
which they did
My mom told me that they'd entered
the house and been looking for me
At any cost, I ran from the city
by taxi
And moved to border towns
I couldn't stay in the same place
till everything was prepared for my journey
And I started my journey
across the borders illegally
I hope no one would be forced
to leave the country illegally
It's a horrible path
I do remember when I started
moving across the borders
It took me 9 hours in sub zero degrees
to cross the border
At first I was thinking I would
run like a gazelle
I haven't smoked in my whole life
Of course it'll be easy for me
As soon as I started running up hills
for 2 mins
I could barely breath
But I couldn't go back
The smuggler would be your god
in that situation
You have to listen to every word of him
Running is exhausting enough
Let alone running uphills without rest
for hours!
The smuggler will swear you.
swearwords you've never heard of
Of course he'll motivate you this way
Which I thought is a good way at that time
I had to run the whole path
When I crossed the borders, my shoes,
and my jacket were worn out
They were torn
I couldn't sleep since I was
afraid of the Police
Till the sumggler decided it's time to...
..move toward a city that accepts refugees
The situation was awful
Because If the police notices you
You'll be deported back to Iran
which means death to me
Because everything was obvious
that court wasn't gonna help
In Islam, the verdict of someone
who leaves Islam is death
It's about a normal person
let alone me who was a Talabe who
left Islam
and is now making others atheist
Obviously nothing except death
was waiting for me there
Staying alive did matter to me
at that time
I might have a diffrent point of view
now
But it did matter to me at that time
I think it started with logic
It might seem funny
DSBM and Logic?
The thing is the more you
study logic
You'll be more able to see
what's going on around you
People aren't mostly happy with
being logical
Cause logic shows you the
real side of the world
I think the origin of life is mixed
with sadness
Every memorable thing we recall
is sad
The most succesful play scripts, movies
books, songs are sad
the most successful people on earth
were mostly depressed or isolated
And some of them committed suicide
The religion
it's based on sadness
It says I know this life sucks
But there's a better world.
That's the main difference between
Black Metal and religion
Black Metal says: there is no God or
hell afterlife, most probably
Hell is the life we're experiencing
Let me talk bout Sikhism
Sikhism is one of ancient
religions of Punjab, India
They say this life is hell
And if you don't wanna get back here
You should get far as you can
from your ego
from pride, you must kill your ego
I don't wanna say if it's true or not
But I see a definitely right belief
This life is hell!
That's what DSBM is saying!
Some might say that DSBM is
encouraging suicide
I don't get it. What's the problem here?
Let me give you an example
There's an unfair and illogical
system on earth
I'm an atheist but
I don't praise the modern society at all!
The modern society praises
a girl who shows off her breast...
...more than someone who contributes
to the society for real
Let me say it financially
You might spend ten years of yours
researching or studying at a university
Which is very good
And when you step out of the college
you'll get a job and have a fixed income
Meanwhile, there are a lot of useless people
showing off their bodies
and making ten times more money than you
The more you know, more depressed
you'll be. That's a fact
A bright person is an idealist
He/she wants to see the ideal in the world
around him/her
When he/she sees the world
is at its worst
let alone moving forward
He/She'll find him/herself more isolated
than before
shallow, stupid, and superficial
These are features of the world
we're living in
How can someone be happy
in this world?
Unless he/she doesn't give a shit
about the others
And makes a distance between him/herself
and the world
Which is not a very idealistic thing to do
Because a human can't forget
about the others
What in Black Metal and especially
DSBM have fascinated me are...
...those fast guitar riffs and
loud screams
The screams which are sick
of this life
Sick of this stable
What we're seeing in DSBM
is a deep observation
the same thing that great literates
and great artists have been involved with
Screams in Black Metal are mostly
instrument
Mostly instrumental than lyrical
Mostly emotions than words
Normally you won't understand the words
If you don't read the lyrics
It meant to be like that
You're not supposed to understand
the words of someone
who's sick of this hell and is screaming
in pain and...
...sorrow
Black Metal was perfect for me
A logical point of view to the world
Fighting against religion and superstitions
What else I wanted?
Black Metal Is The Scream Of Truth
My first serious encounter with
Cinema Industry as a career
was writing
The same thing that dragged me to
death
is gonna express me to you
The exact thing you're watching right now
I started with scriptwriting
The first serious script of mine
was a script titled "The Bitter Wines"
[The Bitter Wines In Persian]
It's a feature script
bout some young fella who drinks certain
old wines that take him back to the year
marked on the wine he drunk
Unfortunately in today's world
Screenwriting isn't a really good job
Since they don't buy scripts these days
That's a fact
websites promising you the promotion
of the script you've written...
...are mostly scam
And it won't get you anywhere
The most succesful attempt of mine
in screenwriting is...
a feature script titled "Endless Darkness"
And is in pre-prodcution by Brad Case
I'm not paid for the job since
Brad's production isn't that...
...huge
And that's why he did read my screenplay
Those huge studios where pay you
for the screenplay...
won't even read your logline
And that's why I stepped up the game
using my mobile phone
and started making what I had in mind
Filming Black Metal Music Videos
Why not?
DSBM is the thing that I have
many ideas for
And so far have made three music videos
Personally think Despair
is the best among them
Since it has an actor, story and everything
Let me talk more about it
The song's been made by two underground
bands from Germany and Iran
You can see my objection to
the modern society
A man who eats pills...
to make his routine life tolerable
And when he refuses to eat
he'll meet the truth
The truth is death
and When he figures out
that the truth is death
He'll accept it with open arms
and in the end, he happily dies
I think it is my best music video so far
And in fact I have in mind to...
Improve the superficial music vidoes
of DSBM and Black Metal
To make the audience
Not only satisfied with the music
But also witness the deep...
...mesaage of Black Metal
GOD?
Doesn't exist or doesn't deserve
worshipping
I don't think there's another possibility
When I was studying in Hawza
The main thing I've learned through Kalam
Was proving God's existence
Many reasonings
and arguments
Which I say are nonsense
I don't say God exists or not
I say his existence has not proved yet
and If it does someday, it doesn't matter
Since he hasn't done anything yet!
Why do we expect him to act after
his existence is proved?
If you worship and praise God
whole your life
He won't give a shit
If you blaspheme him whole your life
He won't give a shit
If he could, there woudn't have
been any black metal
Or me sitting in front of you
blaspheme him
Of course, he won't give a shit
cause he doesn't exist most probably
Call him in any language you want and
if he did answer, spit in my face
Let me Try it for you
Where The Hell Are You?
Nerdesin?
I just called him in 4 languages
and He still doesn't give a shit
And most probably he won't ever
give a shit
Millions of people have already called him
and are doing it everyday
And will do
If there was any god he could defend
himself
against all these fanatic liers
He could defend himself
against
all these nonsense religions
It might have been hard for me
at first to lose my faith in God
But I dealt with it slowly
Unfortunately, there are a lot who can't
Let's think of a 28 y.o. girl
Who just realizes her parents
were not her real parents
How hard it would be for her
to believe the truth
That's the exact same scenario with God
And can't deal with it
Even if they know God doesn't exist
I don't believe Religious insulting
is wrong at all
I do applaud...
...dear Varg for burning down
the churches
Wasn't it insulting when Abraham broke
down...
...People's idols?
You're destroying someone's God and
Expect them to do nothing in return?
This is not the only thing
When the religion itself is an...
...insult to humanity, is it wrong
to insult it?
Let's say someone breaks into
your house and chop off your dad's head
And he'll reply with it's my belief
...to kill an infidel.
Would you respect his beliefs?
If so, you're an idiot
I was close to death myself
If I wouldn't have run away from my country
this documentary wouldn't have existed
If I would have been killed
Would it be respecting beliefs?
What kinda nonsense religion is that?!
It says you have to sign this paper...
...stating you'll be killed if you leave
Many are believers cause they're scared
I mean they haven't accepted it
using reasonings
in other words, they haven't accepted
it themselves!
Really!
Many's belifes are based on Pascal's wager
Which is basically nonsense
Pascal's wager says: God either exists
or does not.
If you'll worship God,
and he doesn't exist
You will have only a finite loss.
If he exists, not only...
you haven't lost anything
but gained infinite heaven
But if you don't worship him
and He doesn't exist
You haven't lost anything But if
he exists
You will have an infinite loss
He could be right if there...
.. was only one belief on earth
Not when there are 16000...
religions which is even impossible to
rememebr the names
Every religion claims that if you follow
another one, you'll fall into hell
So you can't follow them all
There's not any religion claiming that
If you don't follow my rules, you'll be saved
You can't follow the rules of
all the religions
It's obvious that the reasoning is nonsense
If there wasn't any religion
There would have not been any
Black metal today, most probably
Many discrepancies
would have disappeared
Many hatreds would have vanished
But unfortunately, governments
love to keep people stupid
Cause a bright person
won't tolerate force and violence
The media is considering garbage
as art, on purpose
making garbage movies on purpose
making shitty music
mainstream, on purpose
Keeping people stupid, on purpose
Cause if you'll follow garbage
you'll become garbage
and if you'll become garbage
Your brain would stop working
and if your brain stops working
False politics can easily rule
I hope morality and art
improve
And I hope there'll be a day...
... that we won't need Depressive
Suicidal Black Metal
Is that okay?
Having only a static shot is my only option