Goliath (2008) Movie Script
[projector clicking]
#
# Farewell, old comforts #
# So long, restful days #
# I'll carry nothing,
for nothing can I pay #
# I will try not to but I'll still
forget your name #
# And I'll find another face
along the road #
# And gone #
# When I'm gone #
# I'd like for all my friends #
# to raise up
their heads in song #
# So...
When I go #
# My friends can nod
their heads and say #
# "We're glad she's moved on" #
[birds chirping]
[faint thwapping]
[muttering angrily]
[phone beeps and dials]
[phone ringing]
(Woman on recording)
Hi, this is Abby.
I'm not here right now,
so leave a message and I'll get
back to you as soon I can.
Thanks!
[beep]
Hey, it's me.
I don't know if you're not
answering because, uh,
you're still at the funeral or because
you still don't wanna talk...
But, um, either way, I think you're, uh,
being pretty out of Iine
and totally unfair with all this.
You know, it's you that's making
this, this so uncomfortable -
not me...all right?
And, you know, I, I had,
I had just as much right
to be there as you.
And so what if she's your aunt?
You know, she's,
she's my aunt, too.
Just, uh... Just a, uh,
ex-aunt-in-Iaw or whatever,
but so what?
You know, it was enough
to justify me being there.
And you didn't need to give me shit
because I brought carnations, O.K.?
I didn't get them
because I was cheap.
I, I got them... I got them
because I actually thought
they were nice and,
and I didn't know
any better, all right?
Besides, if she had it her way,
she probably wouldn't want any
fucking flowers to begin with
considering how bad
her allergies are...
Or were, whatever.
And you know what?
You're one to talk, you know,
about tact.
The most tacky thing there was,
was you bringing your,
your cheesy-ass, uh, boy toy
on a hot date
to a fucking funeral, O.K.?.
That's pretty fucking tacky
if you ask me.
Which new guy is he?
Is he the-- is he the one, uh,
with all the played-out tattoos?
The, um, the tribal arm band
and the, uh,
the Chinese symbol
for power and, uh,
Celtic and Egyptian shit that he--
If you are satisfied with your message,
please press 1.
If you would like to re-record
your message, please press 2.
If you would like to
play back your message,
please press 3.
To repeat these options,
press 4.
Please record message now.
Hey, it's me.
Give me a call back, please.
Bye.
[sighs]
[engine shuts off]
[car door opens, shuts]
[snapping sound]
Damn it.
[key clatters]
[thumping]
[clattering]
[water running]
[water stops]
[microwave humming]
[keyboard clicking]
[man yells in
foreign language]
#
[chanting]
[drumming continues]
[chanting, drumming continues]
#
Here, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty.
[clicking tongue]
Come get it.
Come get it.
Kitty, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty, kitty.
[drumming continues]
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty, kitty.
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.
[man meowing]
[can opener cranking]
[crickets chirping]
Here, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty.
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.
[bird chirping]
[faint whirring]
[phone ringing]
Hello?
[knocking]
You guys wanted to see me?
Yeah, take a seat,
if you would.
Uh, we've got slight change
that we need to make.
Um, O. K.
We are going to need you
to Iet AIvin go.
Um...
Oh, you mean to, to fire him?
We're gonna need you
to Iet him go for us.
O.K., um...
What, uh, what, what for?
What happened?
Uh, just, just tell him that,
um, it wasn't working out,
that it wasn't, uh, it wasn't
a perfect match, um,
that the, uh, that,
the synergy was not...correct.
When do you want me to,
to tell him?
Right now would,
would be ideal.
And also, um,
you could then fill in, uh,
takin' over some
of his duties on the floor...
Would be great.
Well...that's not,
that's not what I do.
I, I mean, I'm...
I'm above that.
I mean, I, I don't--
I did that
a Iong time ago and, um...
Well, that's, that's just
not my scene.
Um, I mean, those guys...
Those guys, they're always
farting on each other and, and,
and Iighting each others' farts
and endless, you know, and...
And calling each other
"bitch tits" and--
Sure, sure.
It means a Iot to us,
your willingness to,
to help us out.
I mean, this is a tough thing,
you know.
Anytime a void is created, um,
it's tough on everyone...
Tough on us.
But is it, is it,
uh, temporary?
It's temporary for now.
It would be really terrific if you
could take care of that for us.
[stall door squeaks]
[sighs]
[urinal flushing]
[zipping sound]
Hi, AIvin.
How's it goin'?
Um... Uh, Terry and Curtis,
uh, asked that I come,
uh, talk to you.
Um, I'm afraid that we
have to Iet you go.
You mean, Iike fired?
Yes.
No, Iike, uh...
Just, you know,
just Ietting you go.
Did they say why?
Um, mmm, just that it
wasn't working out.
Um... Look, I...
You know, I, I don't know why.
They didn't say why.
Um, I was pulling for you.
I'm just a puppet and, um,
you know, they told me
what to say and I'm just, you know,
regurgitating it to you.
And I'm, you know, I'm, I'm,
you know, right there with you on this.
I, I'm just...
You know,
just doin' what they say.
Uh-huh.
Um, do, do you think
they'd Iet me
finish takin' a shit first?
Yes, totally.
All right.
You know, I don't
want to rush you or anything.
You know, you can take...
as much time as you need.
Thanks.
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.
[mechanical humming
and beeping]
[computer mouse clicks]
[keyboard clicking]
[clicking continues...]
[printer whirring]
[siren wailing]
[insects buzzing,
staple gun clicking]
[children chattering]
Excuse me, uh...
Have you seen that cat?
Is this one yours?
Yeah, I'm afraid it is.
Why'd you call it Goliath?
Uh, it just seemed
Iike a cool name.
I don't know.
I got him
a Iong time ago.
Did he run away from you?
No, I doubt it, at Ieast,
um, at Ieast not intentionally.
He wouldn't do that.
I'm sure he's
just confused and, you know,
wandered away.
Uh, he's very happy.
He's really old.
If it's fancy, you think
maybe someone stole it?
Probably not.
He's you know,
he's a total sweetheart,
but he's, he's not
a show cat or a purebred
or anything Iike that, just...
I don't know.
This neighborhood
used to be good.
I've Iived here about nine years.
Just Iast month I got my house
appraised and it went down 5%
because there's a sex offender
in the neighborhood now.
Man, I can't believe it.
Are you serious?
Yep.
Well...Where does he Iive?
A couple of blocks that way,
I think, in Sweetbriar.
I Iooked it up online
in the sex offender database.
It's weird.
I never thought, uh...
You know, anyone Iike that Iived in,
Iived in our area, you know?
It's terrible, is what it is.
It's just terrible.
Yeah, it's,
it's really strange.
Well, uh, thanks for
the information and, uh,
you know, I'm offering a reward,
so keep on the Iookout,
you know, if you see anything.
- Good Iuck.
- Thank you.
[gears whirring
and cranking]
[various men]
Get the balance!.
Get him by the neck and pull...
I got him!
Put his head in your balls.
Suck a dick!
I just got a hand full of nut.
I got 25 bucks on Carlos.
Come on, Johnson.
Squeeze his head, squeeze his head.
Squeeze his head!
Who's the master, now, fucker?
Say my name, bitch!
Say it!
Reach in there and grab it.
I was Iike, "Oh, fuck."
A friend of mine got
bit by a black widow on his dick.
Come on.
I've seen it.
I know what the fuck that is.
I Iove that movie.
Um, preparing...
I think he played football,
the Iast I heard of him.
[chattering]
Did she shave her beaver?
No, you just take it.
Yes, they do.
There's a recycling post.
If you're gonna be able
to take a bomb,
take the nuclear bomb...
That's the stupidest idea ever.
[burping]
A-B-C-D-E-F...
[laughter, applause]
#
[water gurgles]
[phone rings]
Hello?
Where are you?
I know, I know, I know, I know.
I'm just running a few minutes Iate.
I'm almost there.
I'll be there in a second, O. K.?
Uh-huh... O.K.
O.K., all right.
Be there in a sec.
Bye.
[wailing siren approaching]
[horn honks]
It's a very popular place.
No, it's off of...
Wichita, I think.
No, I didn't hear,
but I'm glad that you told me
in case I run into them.
But only steak fingers.
[door opens, shuts]
Oh, the other guy...
He's here now.
All right.
I will talk to you Iater.
Yeah, tonight.
O.K., bye-bye.
How are you?
Sorry I'm Iate.
Do you know we're getting
charged by the hour, don't you?
We'll go halfsies
on it, don't worry.
Uh, Iet's see.
Where to begin?
O. K., you are gold...
and you'll be Iime.
I need initials here and here
and signatures on these tabs.
O.K., exchange documents
and sign here, here,
and initial on these tabs.
Is that it?
[car engine turns on,
horn honks]
[whistles]
What?
Look, we're never
gonna come to a consensus
as to who did what first,
and that's fine, O. K.?
But there's one thing
I wanna make clear.
For what it's worth, on my end,
It...was just two fingers, O.K.?
That's it, nothing.
And, um...so in my opinion,
a couple of fingers
don't count, all right?
Um... I just wanted to say that.
Disgusting.
I don't wanna hear it.
It's disgusting, gross.
And even, uh...
And even though it didn't work
out for you and that guy
in the Iong run, you know,
which is, uh, why I guess
you're now with that,
that tattooed gentleman...
You know, what you
did was, uh, out of Iove.
Your cheating -
it was out of Iove.
Mine was just out of dumb Iust,
which barely counts, you know,
is nothing.
It may as well have been
with a piece of meat.
Seriously.
I mean, you know,
Iove is everything, O. K.?
And so, so what I did
is Iike nothing
in comparison to you.
I mean, it was just
two fucking fingers.
Do you understand that?
Do you understand
how nothing that is?
- Are you done?
- Yeah, are you?!
I'm not trying
to change anything.
I'm just trying to say it, O. K.?
Hey!
Hey, guess what...
I smoke inside
the house now!
[saw buzzes loudly]
[saw buzzes]
[saw turns off, sputters]
[can opener cranking]
Goliath!
[horns honk]
[insects buzzing,
birds chirping]
#
[clanking]
[crickets chirping]
[thud]
[slurping, bubbling]
[liquid sloshes]
[opener snaps]
[smoke alarm beeps]
[sustained beeping]
[beeping stops]
[elevator dings]
The thing you do
is bet on a horse that pisses.
That's, Iike, the rule of thumb
because it's the Iightest.
I'll tell you a terrible
pussy-eating story.
Have you heard of...
You know when people got
that bush-broom mustache?
Who's that guy
that played "Magnum P.I."?
Tom Selleck.
Tom Selleck.
They call that a nut duster.
A nut duster?
Yeah, that's what...
It's a good Iittle
slang term for that type
of bush-broom mustache.
She said, "This is for Carlos,"
and took off her shirt.
And my friend, Brendon,
was filming her the whole time.
Later on, we went to
the eighth grade dance
and she showed up
and had someone
get me to come out there
and she was in, uh, an overcoat
with nothing underneath.
[laughing, chattering]
Look, when you drink tequila,
you get sick off tequila,
you know what I mean?
It takes seven years
for you to be able
to even smell the stuff again
because that's how Iong it takes
every cell of your body to...
You have one cell Ieft in your body
that still didn't Iike tequila...
You go,
"Oh, I don't Iike it," whatever.
But all your fingernails,
your heart muscles,
every brain,
regenerates itself.
I have been here
for seven years.
That means, basically--
Where is he going?
- Hey, where's he goin'?
- Where's he fuckin' goin'?
Welcome to our world,
bitch tits!
Welcome to our world, bitch tits!
Come join the fun!
[laughter]
[keyboard clicking]
[musical beeping]
[engine starts]
[turn signal clicking]
[engine and radio turn off]
[birds chirp, door alarm beeps]
[door opens]
Are you Chad P. Franklin?
[voice box buzzes]
Why do you want to know?
Look, I know what you did, O. K.?
Everyone in the whole
neighborhood does.
You know, this used to be
a really nice place here.
Well, if you ask me,
this still is a really nice place...
if you have a positive attitude.
Is that all you came
over here for?
Y..Yes.
We've gotta go back inside
and finish doing my dishes...
if that's all right with you.
Whatever.
O.K., great...Idiot.
[door shuts, lock clicks]
[phone beeps, dials]
[phone rings]
Sabovich, private investigator.
Hi, I've the...
the 2:30 appointment.
Um, uh...I'm Iooking
for the office...
But all I'm finding
at this address is a boutique.
Yes, that's my wife's business.
Just go right through
the front and I'll be here.
Oh... O. K.
Excuse me, um--
He's in the back.
O. K.
Hi, how are you?
OIiver Sabovich, P.I.
Nice to meet you.
Thank you for your time.
No problem.
I guess I should tell you up front
that...I have a, uh,
I have a coupon
from the phone book.
This is an ad,
not a coupon.
Really?
So how can I help you?
Well, um...
Basically I wanted to find out
about enlisting your services.
I have a cat that was
very dear to me, um, that...
was recently killed.
And I wanted to find out
what happened.
How was it killed?
By a car, you know,
by a person driving a car.
Near your house?
Uh, same general neighborhood, yeah.
I believe, uh, the car swerved,
uh, to intentionally...
hit the cat.
You know, presumably,
uh, murder.
Well, technically,
that's not murder.
Intentionally or unintentionally,
animals are killed.
Only humans can be murdered.
And, of course,
only very important humans
can be assassinated.
Look, I'm gonna be straight with you.
It's unfortunate, but this is not
the kind of thing that I cover.
I deal with more traditional things:
surveillance, insurance fraud, whatnot.
I don't mean to sound callous,
but this is just not
my cup of tea.
Road kill, that sort of thing
happens all the time.
It's just nature's way.
Well, I don't know if
this will make any, uh,
difference or not, but...
For what it's worth, I do have,
uh, a Iead as to who I think
the culprit may be.
Then it seems Iike you
don't really need me after all.
[copy machine rattling]
Hey, how's it goin'?
Do you know about the tray
of non-dairy creamers
we keep by the wall
in the break room?
Uh, yeah?
Well, it seems that
someone went in
and decided to
squeeze them really hard,
exploding them
and makin' a big mess.
Do you know anything about that?
Uh, no.
Are you sure?
Yeah, um...
But I don't know.
You might wanna go ask
the, uh, the other guys.
Well, you see, we took a Iook
at the security camera footage
and we happened to see
you in the break room,
squeezing these creamers hard
and exploding them.
What do you have
to say about that?
Do you wanna talk about it?
No, no.
It's O.K.
Well, Juanita had to go
into the break room
and clean up that big mess.
It was a pain for her,
very unfortunate.
Well, you know,
I'm sure that was Iousy.
Yeah, it is.
Uh...
Well, anyway,
if you need me,
I'll be in my office.
Feel free to call me,
send me an e-mail
or contact me in any other way.
Again, we're all disappointed in you.
So why don't you just stand here
and think about this for a while.
O.K.
[beatboxing...]
Oh, yeah, baby!
Oh, yeah!
Ro... Bo... Tron...
Yeah!
SIow pop!
[rhythmic thumping, clapping]
Ro... Bo... Tron...
Oh... Yeah...
Ro... Bo... Tron...
Oh... Yeah...
Oh... Yeah....
Whoa, watch your head!
It's been about 50 pounds.
Oh... Yeah...
[metallic clattering]
[truck beeps and hisses]
[siren wails faintly]
[phone beeps, dials]
[phone rings]
What do you want?
I thought we weren't
supposed to talk anymore.
Wait, hear me out!
O. K., Iook...
I got somethin'
important to say!
For what it's worth...
I'm sorry, O. K.?
At Ieast for my part!
Speak into the phone.
I said for what it's worth,
I'm sorry...
For my part!
Fine, whatever.
[phone hangs up]
Hello?
Hello?
[phone beeps, dials]
[phone rings]
What?!
I didn't know if you
hung up on purpose
or if we just got disconnected.
Take a wild guess.
Yeah, well, get a Ioad of this...
Goliath has been killed!
Murdered!
What do you think of that?!
You're full of crap!
Hey!
Are you the motherfucker
they call bitch tits?
No!
Yeah?
Well, check this shit out.
[lighter clicking]
[lawn mower buzzes]
[mower sputters and stops]
Damn it.
Goliath!
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Goliath...
Goliath!
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Goliath?
[saw buzzes]
What the hell are
you doin' here?!
What happened to Goliath?
None of your business.
He's not yours
and he never was.
I had him way
before I knew you.
O.K., so what happened to him?
Were you fucking with me
or did something
really go wrong?
He's fine, O.K.?
Now, why don't you just stick
to your restraining order
and get out of here before I turn
your guts into a hula skirt!
[saw buzzes]
You're crazy!
Go! Get, get, get!
Go!
[horn honks]
Get the fuck away from my car!
[deep, rhythmic drumming]
[chanting in foreign language]
#
[drumming continues]
#
[saw buzzing]
[air hisses]
[metallic buzzing]
[saw continues buzzing...]
[no dialogue]
[buzzing stops]
[grunting]
[door locks, voice box buzzing]
[whimpering]
[spray hisses]
[screaming and squealing]
Why are you doing this?
I never did anything to you.
Shut up!
Shut the fuck up!
You shut the...
[spray hissing]
[choking]
Why did you
do that to Goliath?!
Why did you kill him?
What did he ever do to you?
What did he
ever do to you?
He was such a sweet fucking cat.
He never did anything wrong!
He never crapped
or peed in the house.
He never scratched
on the furniture.
He was really goddamn sweet.
Why did you fucking do that?
He was all I had Ieft.
He was all I had Ieft!
[sobbing]
[water running]
[birds chirping]
Get out.
Get.
Scram!
Get!
#
# O.K. by me #
# If you are down #
# I'll make you feel a warmth
in through your heart #
# When I see you,
I'll fall in love with you #
# You'd never let me,
but I'd die for you... #
# And then I'll feel myself
caving in... #
# I'll make you feel #
# My heart is flying out #
# I'll make you feel
a warmth in through your heart #
# I'll make you feel a warmth
inside your heart #
# I'll make you feel
a warmth in through your heart #
#
# Farewell, old comforts #
# So long, restful days #
# I'll carry nothing,
for nothing can I pay #
# I will try not to but I'll still
forget your name #
# And I'll find another face
along the road #
# And gone #
# When I'm gone #
# I'd like for all my friends #
# to raise up
their heads in song #
# So...
When I go #
# My friends can nod
their heads and say #
# "We're glad she's moved on" #
[birds chirping]
[faint thwapping]
[muttering angrily]
[phone beeps and dials]
[phone ringing]
(Woman on recording)
Hi, this is Abby.
I'm not here right now,
so leave a message and I'll get
back to you as soon I can.
Thanks!
[beep]
Hey, it's me.
I don't know if you're not
answering because, uh,
you're still at the funeral or because
you still don't wanna talk...
But, um, either way, I think you're, uh,
being pretty out of Iine
and totally unfair with all this.
You know, it's you that's making
this, this so uncomfortable -
not me...all right?
And, you know, I, I had,
I had just as much right
to be there as you.
And so what if she's your aunt?
You know, she's,
she's my aunt, too.
Just, uh... Just a, uh,
ex-aunt-in-Iaw or whatever,
but so what?
You know, it was enough
to justify me being there.
And you didn't need to give me shit
because I brought carnations, O.K.?
I didn't get them
because I was cheap.
I, I got them... I got them
because I actually thought
they were nice and,
and I didn't know
any better, all right?
Besides, if she had it her way,
she probably wouldn't want any
fucking flowers to begin with
considering how bad
her allergies are...
Or were, whatever.
And you know what?
You're one to talk, you know,
about tact.
The most tacky thing there was,
was you bringing your,
your cheesy-ass, uh, boy toy
on a hot date
to a fucking funeral, O.K.?.
That's pretty fucking tacky
if you ask me.
Which new guy is he?
Is he the-- is he the one, uh,
with all the played-out tattoos?
The, um, the tribal arm band
and the, uh,
the Chinese symbol
for power and, uh,
Celtic and Egyptian shit that he--
If you are satisfied with your message,
please press 1.
If you would like to re-record
your message, please press 2.
If you would like to
play back your message,
please press 3.
To repeat these options,
press 4.
Please record message now.
Hey, it's me.
Give me a call back, please.
Bye.
[sighs]
[engine shuts off]
[car door opens, shuts]
[snapping sound]
Damn it.
[key clatters]
[thumping]
[clattering]
[water running]
[water stops]
[microwave humming]
[keyboard clicking]
[man yells in
foreign language]
#
[chanting]
[drumming continues]
[chanting, drumming continues]
#
Here, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty.
[clicking tongue]
Come get it.
Come get it.
Kitty, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty, kitty.
[drumming continues]
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty, kitty.
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.
[man meowing]
[can opener cranking]
[crickets chirping]
Here, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty.
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.
[bird chirping]
[faint whirring]
[phone ringing]
Hello?
[knocking]
You guys wanted to see me?
Yeah, take a seat,
if you would.
Uh, we've got slight change
that we need to make.
Um, O. K.
We are going to need you
to Iet AIvin go.
Um...
Oh, you mean to, to fire him?
We're gonna need you
to Iet him go for us.
O.K., um...
What, uh, what, what for?
What happened?
Uh, just, just tell him that,
um, it wasn't working out,
that it wasn't, uh, it wasn't
a perfect match, um,
that the, uh, that,
the synergy was not...correct.
When do you want me to,
to tell him?
Right now would,
would be ideal.
And also, um,
you could then fill in, uh,
takin' over some
of his duties on the floor...
Would be great.
Well...that's not,
that's not what I do.
I, I mean, I'm...
I'm above that.
I mean, I, I don't--
I did that
a Iong time ago and, um...
Well, that's, that's just
not my scene.
Um, I mean, those guys...
Those guys, they're always
farting on each other and, and,
and Iighting each others' farts
and endless, you know, and...
And calling each other
"bitch tits" and--
Sure, sure.
It means a Iot to us,
your willingness to,
to help us out.
I mean, this is a tough thing,
you know.
Anytime a void is created, um,
it's tough on everyone...
Tough on us.
But is it, is it,
uh, temporary?
It's temporary for now.
It would be really terrific if you
could take care of that for us.
[stall door squeaks]
[sighs]
[urinal flushing]
[zipping sound]
Hi, AIvin.
How's it goin'?
Um... Uh, Terry and Curtis,
uh, asked that I come,
uh, talk to you.
Um, I'm afraid that we
have to Iet you go.
You mean, Iike fired?
Yes.
No, Iike, uh...
Just, you know,
just Ietting you go.
Did they say why?
Um, mmm, just that it
wasn't working out.
Um... Look, I...
You know, I, I don't know why.
They didn't say why.
Um, I was pulling for you.
I'm just a puppet and, um,
you know, they told me
what to say and I'm just, you know,
regurgitating it to you.
And I'm, you know, I'm, I'm,
you know, right there with you on this.
I, I'm just...
You know,
just doin' what they say.
Uh-huh.
Um, do, do you think
they'd Iet me
finish takin' a shit first?
Yes, totally.
All right.
You know, I don't
want to rush you or anything.
You know, you can take...
as much time as you need.
Thanks.
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.
[mechanical humming
and beeping]
[computer mouse clicks]
[keyboard clicking]
[clicking continues...]
[printer whirring]
[siren wailing]
[insects buzzing,
staple gun clicking]
[children chattering]
Excuse me, uh...
Have you seen that cat?
Is this one yours?
Yeah, I'm afraid it is.
Why'd you call it Goliath?
Uh, it just seemed
Iike a cool name.
I don't know.
I got him
a Iong time ago.
Did he run away from you?
No, I doubt it, at Ieast,
um, at Ieast not intentionally.
He wouldn't do that.
I'm sure he's
just confused and, you know,
wandered away.
Uh, he's very happy.
He's really old.
If it's fancy, you think
maybe someone stole it?
Probably not.
He's you know,
he's a total sweetheart,
but he's, he's not
a show cat or a purebred
or anything Iike that, just...
I don't know.
This neighborhood
used to be good.
I've Iived here about nine years.
Just Iast month I got my house
appraised and it went down 5%
because there's a sex offender
in the neighborhood now.
Man, I can't believe it.
Are you serious?
Yep.
Well...Where does he Iive?
A couple of blocks that way,
I think, in Sweetbriar.
I Iooked it up online
in the sex offender database.
It's weird.
I never thought, uh...
You know, anyone Iike that Iived in,
Iived in our area, you know?
It's terrible, is what it is.
It's just terrible.
Yeah, it's,
it's really strange.
Well, uh, thanks for
the information and, uh,
you know, I'm offering a reward,
so keep on the Iookout,
you know, if you see anything.
- Good Iuck.
- Thank you.
[gears whirring
and cranking]
[various men]
Get the balance!.
Get him by the neck and pull...
I got him!
Put his head in your balls.
Suck a dick!
I just got a hand full of nut.
I got 25 bucks on Carlos.
Come on, Johnson.
Squeeze his head, squeeze his head.
Squeeze his head!
Who's the master, now, fucker?
Say my name, bitch!
Say it!
Reach in there and grab it.
I was Iike, "Oh, fuck."
A friend of mine got
bit by a black widow on his dick.
Come on.
I've seen it.
I know what the fuck that is.
I Iove that movie.
Um, preparing...
I think he played football,
the Iast I heard of him.
[chattering]
Did she shave her beaver?
No, you just take it.
Yes, they do.
There's a recycling post.
If you're gonna be able
to take a bomb,
take the nuclear bomb...
That's the stupidest idea ever.
[burping]
A-B-C-D-E-F...
[laughter, applause]
#
[water gurgles]
[phone rings]
Hello?
Where are you?
I know, I know, I know, I know.
I'm just running a few minutes Iate.
I'm almost there.
I'll be there in a second, O. K.?
Uh-huh... O.K.
O.K., all right.
Be there in a sec.
Bye.
[wailing siren approaching]
[horn honks]
It's a very popular place.
No, it's off of...
Wichita, I think.
No, I didn't hear,
but I'm glad that you told me
in case I run into them.
But only steak fingers.
[door opens, shuts]
Oh, the other guy...
He's here now.
All right.
I will talk to you Iater.
Yeah, tonight.
O.K., bye-bye.
How are you?
Sorry I'm Iate.
Do you know we're getting
charged by the hour, don't you?
We'll go halfsies
on it, don't worry.
Uh, Iet's see.
Where to begin?
O. K., you are gold...
and you'll be Iime.
I need initials here and here
and signatures on these tabs.
O.K., exchange documents
and sign here, here,
and initial on these tabs.
Is that it?
[car engine turns on,
horn honks]
[whistles]
What?
Look, we're never
gonna come to a consensus
as to who did what first,
and that's fine, O. K.?
But there's one thing
I wanna make clear.
For what it's worth, on my end,
It...was just two fingers, O.K.?
That's it, nothing.
And, um...so in my opinion,
a couple of fingers
don't count, all right?
Um... I just wanted to say that.
Disgusting.
I don't wanna hear it.
It's disgusting, gross.
And even, uh...
And even though it didn't work
out for you and that guy
in the Iong run, you know,
which is, uh, why I guess
you're now with that,
that tattooed gentleman...
You know, what you
did was, uh, out of Iove.
Your cheating -
it was out of Iove.
Mine was just out of dumb Iust,
which barely counts, you know,
is nothing.
It may as well have been
with a piece of meat.
Seriously.
I mean, you know,
Iove is everything, O. K.?
And so, so what I did
is Iike nothing
in comparison to you.
I mean, it was just
two fucking fingers.
Do you understand that?
Do you understand
how nothing that is?
- Are you done?
- Yeah, are you?!
I'm not trying
to change anything.
I'm just trying to say it, O. K.?
Hey!
Hey, guess what...
I smoke inside
the house now!
[saw buzzes loudly]
[saw buzzes]
[saw turns off, sputters]
[can opener cranking]
Goliath!
[horns honk]
[insects buzzing,
birds chirping]
#
[clanking]
[crickets chirping]
[thud]
[slurping, bubbling]
[liquid sloshes]
[opener snaps]
[smoke alarm beeps]
[sustained beeping]
[beeping stops]
[elevator dings]
The thing you do
is bet on a horse that pisses.
That's, Iike, the rule of thumb
because it's the Iightest.
I'll tell you a terrible
pussy-eating story.
Have you heard of...
You know when people got
that bush-broom mustache?
Who's that guy
that played "Magnum P.I."?
Tom Selleck.
Tom Selleck.
They call that a nut duster.
A nut duster?
Yeah, that's what...
It's a good Iittle
slang term for that type
of bush-broom mustache.
She said, "This is for Carlos,"
and took off her shirt.
And my friend, Brendon,
was filming her the whole time.
Later on, we went to
the eighth grade dance
and she showed up
and had someone
get me to come out there
and she was in, uh, an overcoat
with nothing underneath.
[laughing, chattering]
Look, when you drink tequila,
you get sick off tequila,
you know what I mean?
It takes seven years
for you to be able
to even smell the stuff again
because that's how Iong it takes
every cell of your body to...
You have one cell Ieft in your body
that still didn't Iike tequila...
You go,
"Oh, I don't Iike it," whatever.
But all your fingernails,
your heart muscles,
every brain,
regenerates itself.
I have been here
for seven years.
That means, basically--
Where is he going?
- Hey, where's he goin'?
- Where's he fuckin' goin'?
Welcome to our world,
bitch tits!
Welcome to our world, bitch tits!
Come join the fun!
[laughter]
[keyboard clicking]
[musical beeping]
[engine starts]
[turn signal clicking]
[engine and radio turn off]
[birds chirp, door alarm beeps]
[door opens]
Are you Chad P. Franklin?
[voice box buzzes]
Why do you want to know?
Look, I know what you did, O. K.?
Everyone in the whole
neighborhood does.
You know, this used to be
a really nice place here.
Well, if you ask me,
this still is a really nice place...
if you have a positive attitude.
Is that all you came
over here for?
Y..Yes.
We've gotta go back inside
and finish doing my dishes...
if that's all right with you.
Whatever.
O.K., great...Idiot.
[door shuts, lock clicks]
[phone beeps, dials]
[phone rings]
Sabovich, private investigator.
Hi, I've the...
the 2:30 appointment.
Um, uh...I'm Iooking
for the office...
But all I'm finding
at this address is a boutique.
Yes, that's my wife's business.
Just go right through
the front and I'll be here.
Oh... O. K.
Excuse me, um--
He's in the back.
O. K.
Hi, how are you?
OIiver Sabovich, P.I.
Nice to meet you.
Thank you for your time.
No problem.
I guess I should tell you up front
that...I have a, uh,
I have a coupon
from the phone book.
This is an ad,
not a coupon.
Really?
So how can I help you?
Well, um...
Basically I wanted to find out
about enlisting your services.
I have a cat that was
very dear to me, um, that...
was recently killed.
And I wanted to find out
what happened.
How was it killed?
By a car, you know,
by a person driving a car.
Near your house?
Uh, same general neighborhood, yeah.
I believe, uh, the car swerved,
uh, to intentionally...
hit the cat.
You know, presumably,
uh, murder.
Well, technically,
that's not murder.
Intentionally or unintentionally,
animals are killed.
Only humans can be murdered.
And, of course,
only very important humans
can be assassinated.
Look, I'm gonna be straight with you.
It's unfortunate, but this is not
the kind of thing that I cover.
I deal with more traditional things:
surveillance, insurance fraud, whatnot.
I don't mean to sound callous,
but this is just not
my cup of tea.
Road kill, that sort of thing
happens all the time.
It's just nature's way.
Well, I don't know if
this will make any, uh,
difference or not, but...
For what it's worth, I do have,
uh, a Iead as to who I think
the culprit may be.
Then it seems Iike you
don't really need me after all.
[copy machine rattling]
Hey, how's it goin'?
Do you know about the tray
of non-dairy creamers
we keep by the wall
in the break room?
Uh, yeah?
Well, it seems that
someone went in
and decided to
squeeze them really hard,
exploding them
and makin' a big mess.
Do you know anything about that?
Uh, no.
Are you sure?
Yeah, um...
But I don't know.
You might wanna go ask
the, uh, the other guys.
Well, you see, we took a Iook
at the security camera footage
and we happened to see
you in the break room,
squeezing these creamers hard
and exploding them.
What do you have
to say about that?
Do you wanna talk about it?
No, no.
It's O.K.
Well, Juanita had to go
into the break room
and clean up that big mess.
It was a pain for her,
very unfortunate.
Well, you know,
I'm sure that was Iousy.
Yeah, it is.
Uh...
Well, anyway,
if you need me,
I'll be in my office.
Feel free to call me,
send me an e-mail
or contact me in any other way.
Again, we're all disappointed in you.
So why don't you just stand here
and think about this for a while.
O.K.
[beatboxing...]
Oh, yeah, baby!
Oh, yeah!
Ro... Bo... Tron...
Yeah!
SIow pop!
[rhythmic thumping, clapping]
Ro... Bo... Tron...
Oh... Yeah...
Ro... Bo... Tron...
Oh... Yeah...
Oh... Yeah....
Whoa, watch your head!
It's been about 50 pounds.
Oh... Yeah...
[metallic clattering]
[truck beeps and hisses]
[siren wails faintly]
[phone beeps, dials]
[phone rings]
What do you want?
I thought we weren't
supposed to talk anymore.
Wait, hear me out!
O. K., Iook...
I got somethin'
important to say!
For what it's worth...
I'm sorry, O. K.?
At Ieast for my part!
Speak into the phone.
I said for what it's worth,
I'm sorry...
For my part!
Fine, whatever.
[phone hangs up]
Hello?
Hello?
[phone beeps, dials]
[phone rings]
What?!
I didn't know if you
hung up on purpose
or if we just got disconnected.
Take a wild guess.
Yeah, well, get a Ioad of this...
Goliath has been killed!
Murdered!
What do you think of that?!
You're full of crap!
Hey!
Are you the motherfucker
they call bitch tits?
No!
Yeah?
Well, check this shit out.
[lighter clicking]
[lawn mower buzzes]
[mower sputters and stops]
Damn it.
Goliath!
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Goliath...
Goliath!
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Goliath?
[saw buzzes]
What the hell are
you doin' here?!
What happened to Goliath?
None of your business.
He's not yours
and he never was.
I had him way
before I knew you.
O.K., so what happened to him?
Were you fucking with me
or did something
really go wrong?
He's fine, O.K.?
Now, why don't you just stick
to your restraining order
and get out of here before I turn
your guts into a hula skirt!
[saw buzzes]
You're crazy!
Go! Get, get, get!
Go!
[horn honks]
Get the fuck away from my car!
[deep, rhythmic drumming]
[chanting in foreign language]
#
[drumming continues]
#
[saw buzzing]
[air hisses]
[metallic buzzing]
[saw continues buzzing...]
[no dialogue]
[buzzing stops]
[grunting]
[door locks, voice box buzzing]
[whimpering]
[spray hisses]
[screaming and squealing]
Why are you doing this?
I never did anything to you.
Shut up!
Shut the fuck up!
You shut the...
[spray hissing]
[choking]
Why did you
do that to Goliath?!
Why did you kill him?
What did he ever do to you?
What did he
ever do to you?
He was such a sweet fucking cat.
He never did anything wrong!
He never crapped
or peed in the house.
He never scratched
on the furniture.
He was really goddamn sweet.
Why did you fucking do that?
He was all I had Ieft.
He was all I had Ieft!
[sobbing]
[water running]
[birds chirping]
Get out.
Get.
Scram!
Get!
#
# O.K. by me #
# If you are down #
# I'll make you feel a warmth
in through your heart #
# When I see you,
I'll fall in love with you #
# You'd never let me,
but I'd die for you... #
# And then I'll feel myself
caving in... #
# I'll make you feel #
# My heart is flying out #
# I'll make you feel
a warmth in through your heart #
# I'll make you feel a warmth
inside your heart #
# I'll make you feel
a warmth in through your heart #