Good Boy! (2003) Movie Script
It's adoption day!
- What?!
- Hey, pal.
- It's dining room day, Owen.
- Let's see that calendar.
Didn't you just start that job?
He's right. Exactly three months
today he's been walkin' those dogs.
Not one problem. I already
got mine picked out at the shelter.
- Good for you, O. Great job.
- Yeah, that's great. Terrific.
Listen, can we talk
for a second?
Don't you think
that it makes more sense
to wait until after we move
to the new place
before we get the dog?
I'm just thinking of the dog.
That way, he won't have to
relearn a new house
and a new neighborhood
and all that other newness.
We had a deal, Mom.
We did. We sure... we sure...
we absolutely did.
"The best way to achieve your goals,
Owen, is to make a plan,
work hard, and always
keep your eyes on the prize."
That's an exact quote, isn't it?
I want my prize.
So, shall we all go
to the shelter at noon?
- Yes!
- Yes!
This'll be great for him, right?
Yeah, yeah.
A little buddy is just what he needs.
I better put down
some newspaper.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Morning, Miss Ryan.
Mr. Baker.
Barbara Ann had a restless night.
Poor dear.
I don't want her overexerting.
Keep her on the grass.
The hot pavement is far too harsh
on her delicate paws.
Okey-doke.
Hold still, Wilson.
It's only me.
He had the runs last night.
Can you keep an eye
on that for me
and let me know
if things turn solid?
No problem.
Be good now, Nelly.
Don't let the big dogs
step on you.
- I'll watch out for her, Mr. Leone.
- I know you will.
- Bye.
- Ciao.
You want it, Shep?
You can't have it.
- Psych!
- Yeah, you want it?
Psych!
Hey, Connie, here comes
your boyfriend,
- direct from Weirdo-ville.
- Nice.
Cut it out.
Good morning,
Franky, Fred.
Good morning, loser.
Gimme a kiss good-bye, Shep.
Gimme a kiss.
- You comin' along today?
- We're going to the pool.
Duh, dog boy.
- I smell poop.
- I smell it, too.
Oh, Wilson!
- He's touching it.
- Nasty.
At least it's solid.
Connie, let's go.
- Gross.
- What a freak.
Why does he wear
those stupid clothes?
Aren't you getting
your new dog today?
Yeah, so I guess I won't be
seeing you around much anymore.
But you're still gonna
walk Shep, aren't you?
Yeah. I'll see you then,
but otherwise...
I'm gonna be busy with training him
and bonding with him.
- Hey, Connie, move your butt.
- Yeah, move it.
Have a fun day at the pool.
This is Bob over at Tri County.
Go ahead, Bob.
I'm on a search and retrieval
for a wild wirehair.
Got an APB out
on a wild wirehair.
Could be coyote...
not rulin' out coyote.
Could be another mad dachshund.
Another mad dachshund.
Where did you come from?
Wait! Stop!
Gotcha!
So precious.
Look at you!
You are so pretty.
There's something wrong
with him.
He's mean!
He didn't have to do that.
Oh, my God!
- Give me some kisses.
- I want some love, too.
Honey, you're biting.
Somebody's about to meet
their new best friend.
Are you sure
this is the one, Owen?
It's your call, O.
- Wow! Now, he's interesting.
- Oh, little prisoner.
There's the man.
Tell your folks about
your scuffle this morning?
What?
Owen helped me nab
that tough mutt off the street.
- Tough? Is he stray?
- There are no tags around his neck.
Just that funny little rock.
Checked out all right
health-wise, though.
He seems worried
about something.
Yeah, I'd be worried, too.
Think his days are numbered.
- What do you mean?
- Attitude.
Not makin' him
very popular around here.
- Attitude?
- Yeah.
You wouldn't put him
to sleep, though, right?
Well...
Hubble, slow down.
Heel, Hubble.
Hubble, slow down. Heel.
Hubble, no!
Easy, boy. Easy.
Hi, Mr. Leone.
Hello there.
And who is this?
His name's Hubble.
I just got him.
Hello, Hubble.
- No, Hubble.
- That's all right.
- I'm a stranger to him.
- Where's Nelly?
She likes to check out
the headlines.
Easy! Sorry.
I've still got to train him.
Good luck with that.
Okay, Hubble, first day,
do your best.
Sit.
Sit.
Good boy.
Good boy, Hubble.
Stay.
Stay.
He's a bright one.
Okay, Mr. Genius,
how about... roll over?
Play dead.
- But he's really, really smart, Dad.
- Yeah, that's terrific.
No, I mean he's too smart.
I hate to break this to you,
but everyone thinks they've got
the smartest dog in the universe.
"Love and Loyalty."
It's okay, Hub.
All right, we'll take our time.
Oh, no, you don't.
Here, boy.
Here.
Hubble.
Orh sale this week
at Arhdersorh's.
Fresh. Ripe peaches
We're yourpowerstatiorh. KRZY
Crazy forclassic rock
I tell you. Miracles
Miracles are happerhirh'
every day irh our world
Here, boy.
Here?
That was a weird dream.
More like a nightmare,
if you ask me.
Testing.
One, two, three. Testing.
Don't give me that look.
No, not that look either.
Stay! Stay!
You hear me?
- I...
- Are you sure?
Speak!
Doggone it!
How could I let this happen?
Don't be afraid.
I am Canid 3942.
Honey!
Was that you?
You better be up and at 'em.
Don't say a word.
You can't forget the other dogs
just because you've got Hubble.
Bless you!
Somebody's got a wittle cold.
Poor baby.
Hop to it, O.
Can we tie her up
out back, please?
- Did you just learn how to talk?
- Here come the questions.
Let's just say your hearing
suddenly got a lot better.
Oh, man.
How is this even possible?
Oh, boy.
Look, I don't have time
to train you right now.
Just take me
to your leaders.
- Leaders?
- The dogs who walk you.
- I walk them.
- Sure you do.
I'll get to the bottom of this.
Wait. Am I the only one
who can understand you?
Okay, it was a big mistake...
wasn't meant to happen.
You can't tell anyone
about this, ever.
Got it?
This was a major boo-boo.
Nobody'd believe me anyway.
It's not like dogs start talking
all of a sudden.
Code red!
Code red!
- The kid can hear us talking?
- Watch out, shorty.
Coming through.
You can really
understand me?
Right now, you understand
what I am saying to you?
- Yep.
- Can I have a cookie?
No, wait. Ten cookies?
No, can I have twenty cookies?
Be a pal, kid.
Loosen my collar a notch.
I got a foof in my chach.
Owen, honey, can we just
talk about how pretty I am?
Oh, oh, shoot!
I'm so nervous, I forgot
what I was gonna say.
I know what I wanna ask.
Can you teach us how to work
a stinkin' can opener?!
Enough!
Collect yourselves.
I knew he was trouble
the minute I sniffed his butt.
Oh, my!
I have come here on an important
mission from the Home Star,
and I expect full cooperation.
Hold it.
Where are you from?
Where we all came from...
the Home Star.
- Unbelievable.
- It's true.
What are you talking about?
Thousands of years ago,
dogs arrived here from the Home Star
to colonize
and dominate the planet.
All Earth dogs are descended
from those dogs.
What Home Star?!
This is why dogs and people
shouldn't talk.
Dude, you never heard
of the Dog Star?
It's called Sirius.
Wait, you know
about this, too?
My grandma used to
tell me stories.
We've all heard them.
My great-grandfather told me
he had to pass through Uranus
to get here.
You expect me to believe
that there's a planet out there
made up of only dogs?
We don't expect much
from your species.
Now go outside and play
so we can do our business.
Go play, boy.
I don't have to go outside.
Pardon me, but you were saying
something about a mission?
Right. Thank you.
I have been sent here to file
a report on Earth dogs.
What, like a report card?
Yes. Now, sit!
I will observe your lives
and then grade you
on how you have upheld
the Sirius code
of dignity and dominance.
We're going to get graded?
Yes, and I'll be
submitting my report
directly to our most noble
pack leader...
the Greater Dane.
- What?
- The top dog?!
Canine-in-chief.
I need to pee-pee.
The Greater Dane
is upset by rumors
floating around
the galaxy recently
that Earth dogs may have
strayed from their original mission
and lost control
of this planet.
There's even one crazy rumor
we've heard
that claims humans
keep dogs as pets.
Oh, my!
That is crazy. Isn't that crazy?
Super crazy.
Who would say
a crazy thing like that?
Hold on!
You don't honestly think
that dogs are in charge...
Can we get some air?
I feel a little woozy.
See this?
I bought it.
I clip it on you
because you are my dog.
I own you.
Pay no attention
to the dude in the red suit.
The idea of dogs being in charge
is so... far-fetched.
Fetch?!
I teach you
and I tell you
what you can
and can't do. Understand?
Dude, I'm wide open!
Throw the ball.
Throw the Frisbee.
Throw the stick.
Throw something, player!
Yeah, I know what you think,
but that's not the way it works here.
Baker!
- Who are you talkin' to?
- Yeah.
- Just the dogs.
- You're talkin' like they're people.
You've got to...
to train them.
Let's just go.
Connie, I wouldn't let my dog
hang out with that mental case.
What a mental.
That's it!
You guys are makin' me look nuts.
All this stupid Dog Star talk,
the Greater Dane.
I want proof.
Show me proof.
Works for me.
- You know how to drive?
- He knows how to crash.
I'm an excellent pilot.
There happened to be some radical
wind currents the other night.
Hold on.
What's this thing?
Be careful.
That's my woofer.
A communicator.
It got slightly damaged
in the landing.
- Slightly?!
- Hey, let's see you fly one.
This is what you
were using last night?
Yes, when it short-circuited
and you were caught in the current.
Don't remind me.
Now I'm talking to you,
but I can't contact Sirius.
I bet I could fix this.
You keep your paws
off my woofer, mister.
No, really.
I'm good with this kind of stuff.
I mean, let's face it.
I can't make it any worse.
Fine. That'll be your job.
As for the rest of you,
tomorrow I start grading.
I want to see all the ways
you've taken control
of people and the planet.
Absolutely.
- No problem!
- We'll show ya!
You guys are so busted.
See ya tomorrow!
Whoops.
If you don't know
what you're doing...
- Chill out, Hubble.
- My name is Canid 3942.
I'm not calling you
by some number.
I named you Hubble.
When did these human-dog
relationships start anyway?
Thousands of years ago.
Why on earth
would we do that?
Believe it or not, dogs here
are called "man's best friend."
Friend?
Dogs don't need friends.
Everybody needs friends.
Why?
I'm probably not
the best person to ask,
considering I don't have any.
Hey!
You two havin' a chat in here?
Yeah. Ha ha.
Here's a boy.
Whoa, careful!
Knock this over, we'll all
get pretty goofy in here.
Don't play around with this stuff.
Your mom and I will be finishing up
in the dining room tomorrow.
Then it's moving time again.
I think this house
is my favorite so far.
Me too.
- You okay?
- I'm okay.
Okey-dokey, then.
All right, buddy, sleep tight.
You, too, stubborn Hubble.
I think he understood me.
If one more person
wipes their hands on me...
Did you...
I drank out of that bowl.
All I'm asking
is for a little respect.
Why do you do that?
Because I need sleep.
Why do you
turn around like that?
Enough with the questions.
We've got a big day tomorrow.
Lights out.
Hubble?
Just one more.
How could dogs run
an entire planet all on their own?
I mean, no offense, but you guys
don't have that much intelligence.
Oh, really?
Who's been teaching who
all day long, Mr. Genius?
You may know
about where you live,
but I know a lot more
about where I live.
One thing I do know
is that dogs don't run things.
Wait until you see how we
got things runnin' down here.
We're gonna give you
a grand tour.
I'm not shaking
because I'm nervous.
I'm shaking
because I'm excited.
Excuse me.
I have to go first, please.
- Why?
- Because, honey,
you do not want to deal with me
until I've had my day at the beauty parlor.
You see, here on Earth,
we pick people to do the things
that matter most...
hair, nails, accessories.
We have our own
back scratchers.
I've got my own chauffeur.
I got my own personal shopper.
Charge it!
They make the sandwiches,
I eat them.
They warm up the seats,
and I lay on 'em.
They plant the trees,
I pee on 'em.
We get what we want.
- We do what we want.
- We go where we want.
It may look to you
like people are in charge,
but let's face it...
you don't see us
pickin' up their poop.
Okay, that last one got me.
Pretty cool, huh?
So, what do you think,
Mr. Space Dog?
You're all pets.
Lazy, greedy, spoiled rotten
good-for-nothings.
You've lost all dignity.
- Will this affect our report card?
- What do you think?
Now I have no choice.
I have to flunk you.
- Flunk us?
- Flunk them?
We can't flunk.
That'd be very bad.
Pardon me, Mr. Hubble.
We've been away
from the Home Star so long.
Maybe if you helped us
refresh our memory a little?
Yes!
Be our teacher, Hubble.
Not my job.
I make my report, and I go.
- Go?
- He's leaving?
What do you mean, go?
Mission Command will send
a retriever for me eventually.
Then we still have
some time to improve.
Please help us, Hubble.
We don't want to flunk.
We want to be more like you.
Absolutely!
Intelligent, dignified.
Who are we kidding?
We could only dream of being
as dignified as Hubble.
I don't know about that.
I may be an old dog,
but I like to learn new tricks.
Oh, please!
Please, please, please,
pretty please.
Come on. Please.
I usually don't approve
of begging,
but I could teach them
a thing or two.
Hubble's our teacher!
But no funny business.
Understand?
Tomorrow, you start
getting serious.
It's your class, Teach.
You're the dog.
I didn't realize I'd made
such an impression on them.
They really seem
to look up to me.
That's the thing
about Earth dogs.
If they like you,
they're not afraid to let you know.
Another fine example
of the intelligence of human beings?
Ta-da!
- Wow!
- I know. Finally, right?
I can't wait to get started
on the new place in Metro Village.
- So soon?
- It's our dream home, honey.
I can't wait to get in there
and get started.
But that's what you said
about this house, Mom,
and the house before that
and the one before that.
It's what we do, sweetheart.
You know that.
I know. I just wish we could
stay somewhere,
just once, for good.
It makes more sense financially
to live in the place
that we're renovating.
Smile.
And besides, every time we move,
we get a nicer place, right?
But this place seems
nice enough to me.
Sweetheart,
that's a lovely compliment,
but I bet you're gonna like
the new place best of all.
Honey, can you move out?
I want to get the painting by itself.
Thank you.
Good.
And this time, you won't
be starting off all alone,
'cause you'll have Hubble.
Hello. I was just...
- Where were you?
- With my mom.
Why do you care?
Why do dogs
howl at the moon?
Only coyotes do that,
but it's not the moon.
They're howling
to the Home Star.
- Sirius?
- Just to the left, two stars over.
Coyotes are
homesick cry-babies.
So when that retriever
you talked about comes for you,
you're planning
on going back with him?
This is only
a temporary mission.
Right. I get it.
I appreciate your hosting me
for the time being, but...
It's okay. I'm used to
temporary missions.
All right, class,
lesson number one.
Dignity comes from within.
On Sirius, we begin every day
with meditation,
easing gently
into peaceful poses
to achieve
a higher state of being
and release our more base
animal impulses.
Shh! Surrender.
Breathe in, breathe out.
In and out.
Relax.
Let it go.
Whoop! Pardon me.
Shep eats people food
sometimes.
How lucky for us.
This one's outta the park.
Erase all distractions
from your mind.
Hey, was that a ball?
I coulda swore
I just heard a ball.
Focus is the key
to canine composure.
- Was that a ball?
- I do believe there was a ball.
I'm pretty sure
that was a ball.
I think I need to get it.
You ain't gettin' nothin'!
Back off, boxer, it's mine!
It's my ball!
What happened?
What did I miss?
Did I miss something?
Baker!
Watch this.
- Gimme back my ball.
- I don't have it.
Why don't you talk to your dogs
and tell 'em to give it back?
Talk to 'em, dog boy.
- What a freak!
- Your dog's a freak like you.
Get him!
Don't, you guys.
- Quit it.
- Who's gonna make me?
Connie?
Whatcha gonna do now, Baker?
Call 'em off, Baker.
Call 'em off.
Just get up slowly.
Those dogs bite us,
and my dad'll sue.
Give me the ball, Wilson.
Here. But I bet they come
after you for it.
Keep it.
I don't care.
- Is this your only one?
- Just keep it.
Guess you guys don't have
any balls then.
We catch you without 'em,
you're dead meat.
You're really dead meat.
- Run, run!
- They're such total jerks.
Why do you
hang out with them?
I don't know.
We grew up together.
I could hang out
with you, I guess.
Could you watch the dogs?
I'm gonna check on Hubble.
Cool.
You all right?
Why did you step in like that?
They were
throwing rocks at you.
Sirius dogs
fight their own battles.
Why would you
put yourself at risk for me?
Because... you're my dog.
Besides,
that's what friends do, right?
You backed me up, too.
I did, didn't I?
Why would I do
a stupid thing like that?
I think they wanna
play ball.
Want this?
Is this what you want?
Doesn't your dog
wanna play?
I don't think he knows how.
Or maybe
he's not good enough.
Look.
He wants to try.
Okay. Go get it.
- I can do this.
- I got it!
What am I doin'?
- I got it!
- Wait, wait, wait.
Now I get it.
That was just practice.
- Barbara Ann got it.
- Do over.
- Let's go one more time.
- Do it again!
This one's all yours, Hub.
This one's all mine.
All mine.
- Eat my dust.
- Bad bounce.
That was a bad bounce.
Bad bounce.
You can do this.
I know you can.
Show 'em, Hub.
Show 'em what you're made of.
Let me try this
one more time.
I can do it.
I can.
I'll show 'em.
I'll show 'em.
I got the ball!
- Holy guacamole!
- Good splash!
Is he all right?
Showoff!
- Can you teach me that?
- Is that water clean?
He's fine.
Fine?!
He just took off like a 747.
Yeah, he's a good leaper,
like those dogs with the Frisbees.
Owen, dogs don't fly.
Now what is up
with your dog?
You won't believe me.
I know how to keep a secret.
Works for me.
We had an agreement.
You weren't going to tell
anybody about this.
Hey, don't blame me.
I wasn't the one who jumped
500 feet in front of her.
I was just going for the ball.
Hubble, you were flying.
We have stronger gravity
on Sirius. Ouch!
It's much bigger than Earth.
You're like an astronaut
on the moon.
You can jump higher
and farther.
I can do lots of things.
What I can't do is catch
that infuriating bouncy ball.
Wait a second. So that rock
around your neck...
is this from outer space?
We all wear them.
It's a token.
- What's it mean?
- It means... home.
- Ouch!
- Here, lay down a minute.
We have to work
on the woofer. Ouch.
- Hey, don't...
- Would you just...
That's why you got
those thumbs.
- You're a very nice person, Owen.
- Thanks.
We really should get back...
to work... woofer.
Shep, you can't fly.
You can try all you want.
You're an Earth dog.
Three, two, one...
blast off!
Up, up, and away!
Barbara Ann!
We're sort of concerned about
what he might be teaching... Wilson!
I believe I can fly!
Tony? Tony!
- Stupid thing.
- I got it.
- I got it, too.
- See what my dad built for you?
If you lived here,
you'd have your very own house.
Get back here.
39423942
Don't touch.
Must be some sort of code.
Aren't you 3942?
Oh, 3942. I'm here.
This is 3942.
- 3942. please resporhd
- I am responding.
I don't think
they can hear you.
Visitatiorh corhfirmed
Arrival of the Greater Darhe
corhfirmed
- Oh, no.
- Arrival?
- Repeat. Greater Darhe arrivirhg
- When?
- When?
- When?
Hey, it's getting late, guys.
- What was that?
- Nothing.
You all right?
You're lookin' a little pale.
No, I'm fine.
Yeah, I'm fine.
The Greater Dane
is coming here.
Oh, this is bad.
She is not going to be happy.
The Greater Dane is a she?
- Of course.
- Wow!
It's all over now.
She's going to expect
a proper welcome, a grand tour.
So? We'll do it.
- We'll give it to her.
- You don't understand.
When she sees
what I've seen here,
she'll give the order.
What order?
Come on, Hubble.
Tell me.
What's the worst thing
she can do?
Global recall.
- Global what?
- Recall.
All Earth dogs will
be ordered back to Sirius
for punishment
and retraining.
- She can't do that.
- It'll be gradual.
City by city, day after day,
but trust me, she can.
- Why would she?
- I told you.
Earth dogs are not
supposed to be pets.
All dogs... gone.
We can't let that happen.
It won't be up to us.
No, I mean,
we can work with the dogs.
You can teach them
how to give a royal welcome,
and we'll come up with something
that shows her how dogs run things.
I'll even act like
I'm your pet if I have to.
No, sir. I am in enough trouble
already with her.
- No way.
- What did you do wrong?
Us talking right now...
that's a problem, remember?
I did that.
Is it chilly out here
for you, Nelly?
We'll take you inside,
warm you up.
I know it's hard to imagine
a world without dogs, Owen,
but you can't fix things
that are beyond your control.
I'm not trying to.
But if you go away
and all the rest
of the dogs go away...
...then... then...
Who's gonna be
your best friend?
When the Greater Dane arrives,
we must welcome her
with dignified pageantry.
Your pride and honor
should burst forth.
- Oh, Shep!
- Sorry. Spaghetti and meatballs.
That's it!
This is hopeless.
You're all
leaving Earth forever.
- Hubble...
- Not now. I'm yelling.
That's what's gonna happen
if you don't straighten up.
This is the Greater Dane,
not some cockapoo
or Shih Tzu.
She'll have you strung up
by your tails.
- Strung up?
- Not my tail.
- What did he say?
- He's a little stressed out.
Let me talk to them
for a moment.
You all understand that you're being
asked to prove yourselves, right?
To prove that
you're worthy to live here,
to stay with the people
you love.
We want that
more than anything.
We'll do whatever
we need to do.
I know you will.
Just do your best.
They usually respond better
to a little... encouragement.
Let's start over.
When the Dane passes,
you must bow low before her.
No one's head should ever
be higher than hers.
Let's practice.
I'll play her.
Thank you.
Thank you, Earth dogs.
Nice to see you.
I'm pleased to visit
your fair planet.
Oh, isn't it lovely to be here?
La-dee-dah, la-dee-dah,
et cetera and so forth.
Not bad.
Not bad? That was cool.
It was good, actually.
I want to encourage you all
to keep practicing.
It's an attitude...
dignified, serious.
Now, have you figured out a way
to convince her we're in charge?
Connie had an idea.
Tell him your plan.
Whenever a great leader
visits the White House,
they give a formal dinner.
It's so lovely getting together
like this, Earth dogs.
We should do it more often.
It's hard for me,
Your Majesty.
I summer here,
but I winter in Miami.
Yes, I summer here, too,
but I winter in my poopie.
Whoa, Nelly.
That was embarrassing.
I'm fine.
Bring on the first course.
- Oh, my!
- They got steak.
I did say I was
hungry enough to eat a cow.
My compliments to the chef.
That's a sausage, right,
not a hot dog.
A hot dog would be wrong.
Can I just have a bite
right now?
Medium rare.
Look it.
Control.
- Control.
- Shep.
Your Majesty, I would like
to apologize in advance
for any farting.
- Is that chicken bits?
- No, sweetheart, that's pt.
What is she talkin' about,
pa-tay?
It's French
for meat byproduct.
Ooh, pass me the pt.
I must say, the humans are much
more domesticated than I expected.
Thank you very much, ma'am.
Has any other Greater Dane
ever visited Earth before this?
You're talking to me.
That can't happen.
Oh, yeah. Right.
It's been ages
since the last visit.
I betcha this will be
the fanciest welcome
any Dane's ever gotten.
We are in deep diddily doo-doo.
Hey, O.,
lookin' pretty spiffy there.
Hey, honey, we got
a very big day tomorrow.
- We're gonna sell, sell, sell.
- Sell, sell, sell.
Focus.
Eyes on the ball. Be the ball.
All right, Hub.
Go to bed.
I'm just saying, I think I could
get pretty good at this game.
What's the point if you're not
gonna be here long enough to play?
Oh, right.
It's just a silly game anyway.
Are you... agitated?
Yep, but it's not about you.
Don't worry.
You want a biscuit?
No.
It's hard to leave home.
I know.
But it's not
where you are, Owen.
It's who you're with.
Your mom and dad and you...
you make a good home.
Thanks.
All right, lights out.
I'll deal with you later.
All right, you gotta tell me.
- What?
- Why do you do those circles?
I'm building a mind fence.
- Excuse me?
- A mind fence.
It helps to keep out
negative thoughts while you sleep.
Yeah, sure.
How would you like to never, ever
have another bad dream?
- Never?
- Never, ever.
There. Go to sleep.
Mind fence.
Can't believe you fell for that one!
Hey.
Our cookies... in the air
will help sell your house
Cookies in the air
will sell your house
Oh, no.
I can sense it.
This could be the day.
Owen! This is
an all-family operation.
Up and at 'em!
No, Ma.
I have to work with the dogs today.
Owen, I need you
around here today.
- Mom. Mom!
- What?
There's nothing more important
than me working
with the dogs right now.
We've gotten some interesting calls
lately from the neighbors.
A particularly interesting one
from Connie's mother last night.
Your dad and I think
it's time to wrap it up
with the neighborhood dogs.
But, Mom, the dogs
need me now more than ever.
Today you're needed here,
with people.
I want you downstairs
in one minute.
Not good.
Dad, watch for Hubble.
That dog.
Not today, Hubba Bubba.
- I'll get him.
- No, I got him. You stay.
I'm gonna tie him up
out front.
Sit nicely out here and say,
"Hello! It's Open House Day.
Buy, buy, buy!"
That's what you're
gonna tell them.
She's got a little terrier
in her, that one.
- Hey, look, it's freak dog.
- What a freak.
Hey.
He's all alone.
And that should do it.
- Whoa!
- What was that?
Sounded like a sonic boom.
Yoo-hoo! Smile.
Cute.
That was a sonic boom?
Yeah. Doesn't make
sense, though.
Owen, change that shirt.
I need you to pass out
fact folders to the guests.
When I was a kid,
I used to hear that a lot,
but we lived near
an Air Force base.
That... that is weird.
Owen, tick-tock.
- Thank you.
- Great. Thanks a lot.
Mom.
- Mom.
- I was looking all over for you.
Feel free to roam the house
as you like.
- I can't find Hubble.
- I'm sure he's around somewhere.
Hubble's gone.
- Give him to me.
- I'm tryin'.
I can smell them.
It's Franky and Fred.
The Greater Dane
might be coming today.
We can't lose him now.
Straight edge.
Buzz cut.
- Let's give him a close shave.
- Yeah, shave.
I said the dog, loser.
There he is.
Help.
Get away from him,
you punks.
- Frank!
- I'm gonna get you, you brats!
I'm outta here.
Get him.
- Go!
- Hubble, run!
If I catch your butt,
I'm gonna bite it.
That little one is mine.
Oh, my back.
Red light.
We are law-abidin' citizens.
There they are.
Green means go.
There they go.
Yeah!
Over there.
Oh, we got 'em now!
Yeah!
Owen, it's a party!
What was in that gas?
'Cause I can't see straight.
Run! Run!
- What are you doing?
- What's going on?
The Greater Dane.
- Va-voom!
- That is one handsome lady.
Shh. Quiet.
Can someone tell her
to stay in focus, please?
Run!
Down.
Mom. Dad.
Bow down.
All hail Her Royal Highness!
That is not a dog.
What is that thing?
- That's a rat with a wig.
- It's a wig rat.
What's the matter
with all of you?
Don't you know who this is?
Look sharp!
Your Majesty,
what a lovely surprise.
We were all wondering
when you were gonna get
your royal heinie down here.
Can I bite him?
I'll bite him if you want me to.
You have a lot
of explaining to do, 3942.
3942. That's my number.
I'm not here right now.
Please leave a message.
Pull yourself together, Canid.
I'm sorry.
I'm totally serious now. I'm... Sirius!
Isn't there one among you
who knows how to give
your leader a proper welcome?
Oh, you're all dog meat now.
All of you, come with me.
Earth dogs.
And you, 3942.
What a disgrace.
- What's happening?
- Nothing good.
If it makes you feel any better,
we all knew
you were gonna screw up.
- Back!
- Yes, ma'am.
Right away, ma'am.
Yes, ma'am.
Every rumor I've heard about our
species on this planet appears to be true.
No dominance, no dignity.
We had something formal
planned for you.
"We had something formal..."
Shut your yap!
Enough.
Your little welcome party
was highly revealing, 3942.
I have no choice but to give
the order for global recall.
No.
I've seen all I need to see.
Wait!
No, you haven't.
You haven't.
You can't take them away.
Please. Dogs mean
so much to the world,
and you haven't seen
any of that yet.
They protect us,
and they keep us company,
and they always warn us
if something bad might happen.
Some dogs even work
with police and firefighters,
and do amazing things...
things people could never do
on their own.
Some dogs even help people
who can't see by guiding them.
We rely on them for so much.
You should be proud of them,
because people love dogs.
Did you know that?
People and dogs
love each other.
I am still curious as to why
a human boy is talking with me.
- Funny story.
- You did this?
It's not Hubble's fault.
I mean, 3942.
It's not his fault.
You better step down, Owen.
I'm sorry.
But please,
think about what I said.
Love?
Here they come.
Hubble.
What happened?
She decided to go home.
Is it all over?
It's all over.
- Yes!
- You did it, Owen!
Wait.
What about you, Hubble?
Are you... here?
I'm... here.
I don't believe it.
I thought I blew it.
Where's everybody going?
I think everyone's tired.
Oh. Well, we can
celebrate later, right?
Now we can play ball, Hub.
I know it won't be easy
not going back to Sirius,
but it's not where you are.
It's who you're with, right?
Yeah.
What is it, Shep?
My pretty ladybird.
Wilson?
That's my girl.
My sweet Nelly.
Yeah, you are sweet.
What?
I know I haven't been
the most affectionate dog.
It's okay.
You're different, Hub.
I like that about you.
But I've seen the way others
express themselves to their people,
and...
I want you to know,
I do like you.
I'm just not used
to all the customs here.
Hubble, it's all right.
You just told me
you liked me.
How many people get
to hear that from their dog?
Owen. Honey.
Mom?
Honey, Miss Ryan
is at the door.
She wants to talk to you.
What about?
I know Barbara Ann's
every move.
I know everywhere
she would go.
You don't understand.
It's as if she simply vanished.
Nelly!
Nelly!
Oh, no.
You're not saying Owen
took the dogs?
No. No, no, no.
He lost his dog, too.
I just don't understand
how he could know nothing
about what happened.
Now you're moving away.
Where does that leave us?
It's not Owen's fault.
- Connie, go inside.
- He tried to stop them.
Stop who, Connie?
Who took them?
The dogs.
The other dogs.
From outer space.
Maybe it is best
that you're leaving.
It's because of all this constant
moving we've been doing, isn't it?
I'm sure it's not helping.
The deal on the house
hasn't officially closed yet.
It's not too late
to change our minds.
What do we do?
Here you go.
The movers will be here
at 10:00 tomorrow.
- Where's your cap?
- I can't find it.
Owen, you know
we'll get you another dog.
And soon.
That's a promise.
Maybe I'm not supposed
to have one, Mom.
Don't say that.
Nobody deserves a dog
more than you.
Arhd firhally torhight.
File this urhder "Odd"
There's beerh a drastic irhcrease
irh reports of lost dogs
all over the state recerhtly
Authorities are baffled
by this rash of disappeararhces.
But say they're doirhg their best
to "srhiff out" the culprits
We' see you tomooiow n ght
Hubble, I'm sorry.
I let you down.
I should've kept quiet
up on that hill.
I hope I didn't get you
in trouble by talking.
I didn't think of...
I just didn't think.
Now everyone's losing their dogs,
and it's all my fault.
I know you can't hear me.
I miss you so much.
I never had a friend like you.
I wanted you to stay here
with me so badly.
But I...
I know you have
your home there.
I hope I didn't
screw everything up for you.
I hope they're not
being mean to you.
Because you're
a good boy, Hubble.
You are.
You're a good boy.
You are.
You're a good boy.
I have often wondered
what it was about human beings
that could lead so many
of our species astray...
what it is that makes us
abandon our drive for dominance.
Go on, 3942.
Speak.
Enlighten me.
I think it's friendship.
People and dogs
live side by side on Earth,
and they make a home together.
A home?
It seems that inspires
great loyalty.
I must ask you now...
where does your loyalty lie?
I prefer the name Hubble.
Owen, it's time to go.
Bye.
Bye.
Dad, was that
another sonic boom?
No, that was just
the movers closing the door.
Come on, buddy.
We really need to get goin'.
- Dad.
- Sorry about that.
- Pothole.
- No, that was too big of a noise.
- Owen.
- It was too big of a noise.
- Dad, stop. Wait!
- What is it?
Stop the car.
I forgot something.
- What?
- Owen!
Hey!
Owen!
Something's going on.
- Where are you going?
- The dogs!
The dogs!
- What?
- The dogs.
I know I heard it.
I know I heard it.
Please. Please.
What was that?
Now, wait a minute.
Look at that cloud up there!
- Look at that cloud!
- Look, the sky!
What is that?
Yes!
Here, boy. Over here.
- This button, right?
- You broke it.
- Don't touch that.
- I know what I'm doing!
Wait. Wait!
Listen.
Is that the dogs?
We're home!
I missed ya, Owen.
There's my main man.
- It's good to see you.
- It was a long flight.
That's the last time
I travel in a spaceship.
There she is!
There she is!
Hey there, Mama!
Hey, guys, I'm back!
Hello, Papa.
Look, Mom, he's back.
Say hi, Shep.
Are you here...
...to stay?
Yep.
The Greater Dane
declared Earth dogs
an entirely different breed.
I... really missed you.
I know.
I heard.
You heard?
I think you're
a good boy, too.
I almost forgot.
She said I could stay
on one condition.
Whoa!
Was that your woofer again?
Hubble?
Hubble.
I have so many more
questions to ask you.
How am I gonna know
what you're thinking?
Start unpacking.
- We're home for good.
- Yeah.
Hubble, good boy.
Good boy.
- What?!
- Hey, pal.
- It's dining room day, Owen.
- Let's see that calendar.
Didn't you just start that job?
He's right. Exactly three months
today he's been walkin' those dogs.
Not one problem. I already
got mine picked out at the shelter.
- Good for you, O. Great job.
- Yeah, that's great. Terrific.
Listen, can we talk
for a second?
Don't you think
that it makes more sense
to wait until after we move
to the new place
before we get the dog?
I'm just thinking of the dog.
That way, he won't have to
relearn a new house
and a new neighborhood
and all that other newness.
We had a deal, Mom.
We did. We sure... we sure...
we absolutely did.
"The best way to achieve your goals,
Owen, is to make a plan,
work hard, and always
keep your eyes on the prize."
That's an exact quote, isn't it?
I want my prize.
So, shall we all go
to the shelter at noon?
- Yes!
- Yes!
This'll be great for him, right?
Yeah, yeah.
A little buddy is just what he needs.
I better put down
some newspaper.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Morning, Miss Ryan.
Mr. Baker.
Barbara Ann had a restless night.
Poor dear.
I don't want her overexerting.
Keep her on the grass.
The hot pavement is far too harsh
on her delicate paws.
Okey-doke.
Hold still, Wilson.
It's only me.
He had the runs last night.
Can you keep an eye
on that for me
and let me know
if things turn solid?
No problem.
Be good now, Nelly.
Don't let the big dogs
step on you.
- I'll watch out for her, Mr. Leone.
- I know you will.
- Bye.
- Ciao.
You want it, Shep?
You can't have it.
- Psych!
- Yeah, you want it?
Psych!
Hey, Connie, here comes
your boyfriend,
- direct from Weirdo-ville.
- Nice.
Cut it out.
Good morning,
Franky, Fred.
Good morning, loser.
Gimme a kiss good-bye, Shep.
Gimme a kiss.
- You comin' along today?
- We're going to the pool.
Duh, dog boy.
- I smell poop.
- I smell it, too.
Oh, Wilson!
- He's touching it.
- Nasty.
At least it's solid.
Connie, let's go.
- Gross.
- What a freak.
Why does he wear
those stupid clothes?
Aren't you getting
your new dog today?
Yeah, so I guess I won't be
seeing you around much anymore.
But you're still gonna
walk Shep, aren't you?
Yeah. I'll see you then,
but otherwise...
I'm gonna be busy with training him
and bonding with him.
- Hey, Connie, move your butt.
- Yeah, move it.
Have a fun day at the pool.
This is Bob over at Tri County.
Go ahead, Bob.
I'm on a search and retrieval
for a wild wirehair.
Got an APB out
on a wild wirehair.
Could be coyote...
not rulin' out coyote.
Could be another mad dachshund.
Another mad dachshund.
Where did you come from?
Wait! Stop!
Gotcha!
So precious.
Look at you!
You are so pretty.
There's something wrong
with him.
He's mean!
He didn't have to do that.
Oh, my God!
- Give me some kisses.
- I want some love, too.
Honey, you're biting.
Somebody's about to meet
their new best friend.
Are you sure
this is the one, Owen?
It's your call, O.
- Wow! Now, he's interesting.
- Oh, little prisoner.
There's the man.
Tell your folks about
your scuffle this morning?
What?
Owen helped me nab
that tough mutt off the street.
- Tough? Is he stray?
- There are no tags around his neck.
Just that funny little rock.
Checked out all right
health-wise, though.
He seems worried
about something.
Yeah, I'd be worried, too.
Think his days are numbered.
- What do you mean?
- Attitude.
Not makin' him
very popular around here.
- Attitude?
- Yeah.
You wouldn't put him
to sleep, though, right?
Well...
Hubble, slow down.
Heel, Hubble.
Hubble, slow down. Heel.
Hubble, no!
Easy, boy. Easy.
Hi, Mr. Leone.
Hello there.
And who is this?
His name's Hubble.
I just got him.
Hello, Hubble.
- No, Hubble.
- That's all right.
- I'm a stranger to him.
- Where's Nelly?
She likes to check out
the headlines.
Easy! Sorry.
I've still got to train him.
Good luck with that.
Okay, Hubble, first day,
do your best.
Sit.
Sit.
Good boy.
Good boy, Hubble.
Stay.
Stay.
He's a bright one.
Okay, Mr. Genius,
how about... roll over?
Play dead.
- But he's really, really smart, Dad.
- Yeah, that's terrific.
No, I mean he's too smart.
I hate to break this to you,
but everyone thinks they've got
the smartest dog in the universe.
"Love and Loyalty."
It's okay, Hub.
All right, we'll take our time.
Oh, no, you don't.
Here, boy.
Here.
Hubble.
Orh sale this week
at Arhdersorh's.
Fresh. Ripe peaches
We're yourpowerstatiorh. KRZY
Crazy forclassic rock
I tell you. Miracles
Miracles are happerhirh'
every day irh our world
Here, boy.
Here?
That was a weird dream.
More like a nightmare,
if you ask me.
Testing.
One, two, three. Testing.
Don't give me that look.
No, not that look either.
Stay! Stay!
You hear me?
- I...
- Are you sure?
Speak!
Doggone it!
How could I let this happen?
Don't be afraid.
I am Canid 3942.
Honey!
Was that you?
You better be up and at 'em.
Don't say a word.
You can't forget the other dogs
just because you've got Hubble.
Bless you!
Somebody's got a wittle cold.
Poor baby.
Hop to it, O.
Can we tie her up
out back, please?
- Did you just learn how to talk?
- Here come the questions.
Let's just say your hearing
suddenly got a lot better.
Oh, man.
How is this even possible?
Oh, boy.
Look, I don't have time
to train you right now.
Just take me
to your leaders.
- Leaders?
- The dogs who walk you.
- I walk them.
- Sure you do.
I'll get to the bottom of this.
Wait. Am I the only one
who can understand you?
Okay, it was a big mistake...
wasn't meant to happen.
You can't tell anyone
about this, ever.
Got it?
This was a major boo-boo.
Nobody'd believe me anyway.
It's not like dogs start talking
all of a sudden.
Code red!
Code red!
- The kid can hear us talking?
- Watch out, shorty.
Coming through.
You can really
understand me?
Right now, you understand
what I am saying to you?
- Yep.
- Can I have a cookie?
No, wait. Ten cookies?
No, can I have twenty cookies?
Be a pal, kid.
Loosen my collar a notch.
I got a foof in my chach.
Owen, honey, can we just
talk about how pretty I am?
Oh, oh, shoot!
I'm so nervous, I forgot
what I was gonna say.
I know what I wanna ask.
Can you teach us how to work
a stinkin' can opener?!
Enough!
Collect yourselves.
I knew he was trouble
the minute I sniffed his butt.
Oh, my!
I have come here on an important
mission from the Home Star,
and I expect full cooperation.
Hold it.
Where are you from?
Where we all came from...
the Home Star.
- Unbelievable.
- It's true.
What are you talking about?
Thousands of years ago,
dogs arrived here from the Home Star
to colonize
and dominate the planet.
All Earth dogs are descended
from those dogs.
What Home Star?!
This is why dogs and people
shouldn't talk.
Dude, you never heard
of the Dog Star?
It's called Sirius.
Wait, you know
about this, too?
My grandma used to
tell me stories.
We've all heard them.
My great-grandfather told me
he had to pass through Uranus
to get here.
You expect me to believe
that there's a planet out there
made up of only dogs?
We don't expect much
from your species.
Now go outside and play
so we can do our business.
Go play, boy.
I don't have to go outside.
Pardon me, but you were saying
something about a mission?
Right. Thank you.
I have been sent here to file
a report on Earth dogs.
What, like a report card?
Yes. Now, sit!
I will observe your lives
and then grade you
on how you have upheld
the Sirius code
of dignity and dominance.
We're going to get graded?
Yes, and I'll be
submitting my report
directly to our most noble
pack leader...
the Greater Dane.
- What?
- The top dog?!
Canine-in-chief.
I need to pee-pee.
The Greater Dane
is upset by rumors
floating around
the galaxy recently
that Earth dogs may have
strayed from their original mission
and lost control
of this planet.
There's even one crazy rumor
we've heard
that claims humans
keep dogs as pets.
Oh, my!
That is crazy. Isn't that crazy?
Super crazy.
Who would say
a crazy thing like that?
Hold on!
You don't honestly think
that dogs are in charge...
Can we get some air?
I feel a little woozy.
See this?
I bought it.
I clip it on you
because you are my dog.
I own you.
Pay no attention
to the dude in the red suit.
The idea of dogs being in charge
is so... far-fetched.
Fetch?!
I teach you
and I tell you
what you can
and can't do. Understand?
Dude, I'm wide open!
Throw the ball.
Throw the Frisbee.
Throw the stick.
Throw something, player!
Yeah, I know what you think,
but that's not the way it works here.
Baker!
- Who are you talkin' to?
- Yeah.
- Just the dogs.
- You're talkin' like they're people.
You've got to...
to train them.
Let's just go.
Connie, I wouldn't let my dog
hang out with that mental case.
What a mental.
That's it!
You guys are makin' me look nuts.
All this stupid Dog Star talk,
the Greater Dane.
I want proof.
Show me proof.
Works for me.
- You know how to drive?
- He knows how to crash.
I'm an excellent pilot.
There happened to be some radical
wind currents the other night.
Hold on.
What's this thing?
Be careful.
That's my woofer.
A communicator.
It got slightly damaged
in the landing.
- Slightly?!
- Hey, let's see you fly one.
This is what you
were using last night?
Yes, when it short-circuited
and you were caught in the current.
Don't remind me.
Now I'm talking to you,
but I can't contact Sirius.
I bet I could fix this.
You keep your paws
off my woofer, mister.
No, really.
I'm good with this kind of stuff.
I mean, let's face it.
I can't make it any worse.
Fine. That'll be your job.
As for the rest of you,
tomorrow I start grading.
I want to see all the ways
you've taken control
of people and the planet.
Absolutely.
- No problem!
- We'll show ya!
You guys are so busted.
See ya tomorrow!
Whoops.
If you don't know
what you're doing...
- Chill out, Hubble.
- My name is Canid 3942.
I'm not calling you
by some number.
I named you Hubble.
When did these human-dog
relationships start anyway?
Thousands of years ago.
Why on earth
would we do that?
Believe it or not, dogs here
are called "man's best friend."
Friend?
Dogs don't need friends.
Everybody needs friends.
Why?
I'm probably not
the best person to ask,
considering I don't have any.
Hey!
You two havin' a chat in here?
Yeah. Ha ha.
Here's a boy.
Whoa, careful!
Knock this over, we'll all
get pretty goofy in here.
Don't play around with this stuff.
Your mom and I will be finishing up
in the dining room tomorrow.
Then it's moving time again.
I think this house
is my favorite so far.
Me too.
- You okay?
- I'm okay.
Okey-dokey, then.
All right, buddy, sleep tight.
You, too, stubborn Hubble.
I think he understood me.
If one more person
wipes their hands on me...
Did you...
I drank out of that bowl.
All I'm asking
is for a little respect.
Why do you do that?
Because I need sleep.
Why do you
turn around like that?
Enough with the questions.
We've got a big day tomorrow.
Lights out.
Hubble?
Just one more.
How could dogs run
an entire planet all on their own?
I mean, no offense, but you guys
don't have that much intelligence.
Oh, really?
Who's been teaching who
all day long, Mr. Genius?
You may know
about where you live,
but I know a lot more
about where I live.
One thing I do know
is that dogs don't run things.
Wait until you see how we
got things runnin' down here.
We're gonna give you
a grand tour.
I'm not shaking
because I'm nervous.
I'm shaking
because I'm excited.
Excuse me.
I have to go first, please.
- Why?
- Because, honey,
you do not want to deal with me
until I've had my day at the beauty parlor.
You see, here on Earth,
we pick people to do the things
that matter most...
hair, nails, accessories.
We have our own
back scratchers.
I've got my own chauffeur.
I got my own personal shopper.
Charge it!
They make the sandwiches,
I eat them.
They warm up the seats,
and I lay on 'em.
They plant the trees,
I pee on 'em.
We get what we want.
- We do what we want.
- We go where we want.
It may look to you
like people are in charge,
but let's face it...
you don't see us
pickin' up their poop.
Okay, that last one got me.
Pretty cool, huh?
So, what do you think,
Mr. Space Dog?
You're all pets.
Lazy, greedy, spoiled rotten
good-for-nothings.
You've lost all dignity.
- Will this affect our report card?
- What do you think?
Now I have no choice.
I have to flunk you.
- Flunk us?
- Flunk them?
We can't flunk.
That'd be very bad.
Pardon me, Mr. Hubble.
We've been away
from the Home Star so long.
Maybe if you helped us
refresh our memory a little?
Yes!
Be our teacher, Hubble.
Not my job.
I make my report, and I go.
- Go?
- He's leaving?
What do you mean, go?
Mission Command will send
a retriever for me eventually.
Then we still have
some time to improve.
Please help us, Hubble.
We don't want to flunk.
We want to be more like you.
Absolutely!
Intelligent, dignified.
Who are we kidding?
We could only dream of being
as dignified as Hubble.
I don't know about that.
I may be an old dog,
but I like to learn new tricks.
Oh, please!
Please, please, please,
pretty please.
Come on. Please.
I usually don't approve
of begging,
but I could teach them
a thing or two.
Hubble's our teacher!
But no funny business.
Understand?
Tomorrow, you start
getting serious.
It's your class, Teach.
You're the dog.
I didn't realize I'd made
such an impression on them.
They really seem
to look up to me.
That's the thing
about Earth dogs.
If they like you,
they're not afraid to let you know.
Another fine example
of the intelligence of human beings?
Ta-da!
- Wow!
- I know. Finally, right?
I can't wait to get started
on the new place in Metro Village.
- So soon?
- It's our dream home, honey.
I can't wait to get in there
and get started.
But that's what you said
about this house, Mom,
and the house before that
and the one before that.
It's what we do, sweetheart.
You know that.
I know. I just wish we could
stay somewhere,
just once, for good.
It makes more sense financially
to live in the place
that we're renovating.
Smile.
And besides, every time we move,
we get a nicer place, right?
But this place seems
nice enough to me.
Sweetheart,
that's a lovely compliment,
but I bet you're gonna like
the new place best of all.
Honey, can you move out?
I want to get the painting by itself.
Thank you.
Good.
And this time, you won't
be starting off all alone,
'cause you'll have Hubble.
Hello. I was just...
- Where were you?
- With my mom.
Why do you care?
Why do dogs
howl at the moon?
Only coyotes do that,
but it's not the moon.
They're howling
to the Home Star.
- Sirius?
- Just to the left, two stars over.
Coyotes are
homesick cry-babies.
So when that retriever
you talked about comes for you,
you're planning
on going back with him?
This is only
a temporary mission.
Right. I get it.
I appreciate your hosting me
for the time being, but...
It's okay. I'm used to
temporary missions.
All right, class,
lesson number one.
Dignity comes from within.
On Sirius, we begin every day
with meditation,
easing gently
into peaceful poses
to achieve
a higher state of being
and release our more base
animal impulses.
Shh! Surrender.
Breathe in, breathe out.
In and out.
Relax.
Let it go.
Whoop! Pardon me.
Shep eats people food
sometimes.
How lucky for us.
This one's outta the park.
Erase all distractions
from your mind.
Hey, was that a ball?
I coulda swore
I just heard a ball.
Focus is the key
to canine composure.
- Was that a ball?
- I do believe there was a ball.
I'm pretty sure
that was a ball.
I think I need to get it.
You ain't gettin' nothin'!
Back off, boxer, it's mine!
It's my ball!
What happened?
What did I miss?
Did I miss something?
Baker!
Watch this.
- Gimme back my ball.
- I don't have it.
Why don't you talk to your dogs
and tell 'em to give it back?
Talk to 'em, dog boy.
- What a freak!
- Your dog's a freak like you.
Get him!
Don't, you guys.
- Quit it.
- Who's gonna make me?
Connie?
Whatcha gonna do now, Baker?
Call 'em off, Baker.
Call 'em off.
Just get up slowly.
Those dogs bite us,
and my dad'll sue.
Give me the ball, Wilson.
Here. But I bet they come
after you for it.
Keep it.
I don't care.
- Is this your only one?
- Just keep it.
Guess you guys don't have
any balls then.
We catch you without 'em,
you're dead meat.
You're really dead meat.
- Run, run!
- They're such total jerks.
Why do you
hang out with them?
I don't know.
We grew up together.
I could hang out
with you, I guess.
Could you watch the dogs?
I'm gonna check on Hubble.
Cool.
You all right?
Why did you step in like that?
They were
throwing rocks at you.
Sirius dogs
fight their own battles.
Why would you
put yourself at risk for me?
Because... you're my dog.
Besides,
that's what friends do, right?
You backed me up, too.
I did, didn't I?
Why would I do
a stupid thing like that?
I think they wanna
play ball.
Want this?
Is this what you want?
Doesn't your dog
wanna play?
I don't think he knows how.
Or maybe
he's not good enough.
Look.
He wants to try.
Okay. Go get it.
- I can do this.
- I got it!
What am I doin'?
- I got it!
- Wait, wait, wait.
Now I get it.
That was just practice.
- Barbara Ann got it.
- Do over.
- Let's go one more time.
- Do it again!
This one's all yours, Hub.
This one's all mine.
All mine.
- Eat my dust.
- Bad bounce.
That was a bad bounce.
Bad bounce.
You can do this.
I know you can.
Show 'em, Hub.
Show 'em what you're made of.
Let me try this
one more time.
I can do it.
I can.
I'll show 'em.
I'll show 'em.
I got the ball!
- Holy guacamole!
- Good splash!
Is he all right?
Showoff!
- Can you teach me that?
- Is that water clean?
He's fine.
Fine?!
He just took off like a 747.
Yeah, he's a good leaper,
like those dogs with the Frisbees.
Owen, dogs don't fly.
Now what is up
with your dog?
You won't believe me.
I know how to keep a secret.
Works for me.
We had an agreement.
You weren't going to tell
anybody about this.
Hey, don't blame me.
I wasn't the one who jumped
500 feet in front of her.
I was just going for the ball.
Hubble, you were flying.
We have stronger gravity
on Sirius. Ouch!
It's much bigger than Earth.
You're like an astronaut
on the moon.
You can jump higher
and farther.
I can do lots of things.
What I can't do is catch
that infuriating bouncy ball.
Wait a second. So that rock
around your neck...
is this from outer space?
We all wear them.
It's a token.
- What's it mean?
- It means... home.
- Ouch!
- Here, lay down a minute.
We have to work
on the woofer. Ouch.
- Hey, don't...
- Would you just...
That's why you got
those thumbs.
- You're a very nice person, Owen.
- Thanks.
We really should get back...
to work... woofer.
Shep, you can't fly.
You can try all you want.
You're an Earth dog.
Three, two, one...
blast off!
Up, up, and away!
Barbara Ann!
We're sort of concerned about
what he might be teaching... Wilson!
I believe I can fly!
Tony? Tony!
- Stupid thing.
- I got it.
- I got it, too.
- See what my dad built for you?
If you lived here,
you'd have your very own house.
Get back here.
39423942
Don't touch.
Must be some sort of code.
Aren't you 3942?
Oh, 3942. I'm here.
This is 3942.
- 3942. please resporhd
- I am responding.
I don't think
they can hear you.
Visitatiorh corhfirmed
Arrival of the Greater Darhe
corhfirmed
- Oh, no.
- Arrival?
- Repeat. Greater Darhe arrivirhg
- When?
- When?
- When?
Hey, it's getting late, guys.
- What was that?
- Nothing.
You all right?
You're lookin' a little pale.
No, I'm fine.
Yeah, I'm fine.
The Greater Dane
is coming here.
Oh, this is bad.
She is not going to be happy.
The Greater Dane is a she?
- Of course.
- Wow!
It's all over now.
She's going to expect
a proper welcome, a grand tour.
So? We'll do it.
- We'll give it to her.
- You don't understand.
When she sees
what I've seen here,
she'll give the order.
What order?
Come on, Hubble.
Tell me.
What's the worst thing
she can do?
Global recall.
- Global what?
- Recall.
All Earth dogs will
be ordered back to Sirius
for punishment
and retraining.
- She can't do that.
- It'll be gradual.
City by city, day after day,
but trust me, she can.
- Why would she?
- I told you.
Earth dogs are not
supposed to be pets.
All dogs... gone.
We can't let that happen.
It won't be up to us.
No, I mean,
we can work with the dogs.
You can teach them
how to give a royal welcome,
and we'll come up with something
that shows her how dogs run things.
I'll even act like
I'm your pet if I have to.
No, sir. I am in enough trouble
already with her.
- No way.
- What did you do wrong?
Us talking right now...
that's a problem, remember?
I did that.
Is it chilly out here
for you, Nelly?
We'll take you inside,
warm you up.
I know it's hard to imagine
a world without dogs, Owen,
but you can't fix things
that are beyond your control.
I'm not trying to.
But if you go away
and all the rest
of the dogs go away...
...then... then...
Who's gonna be
your best friend?
When the Greater Dane arrives,
we must welcome her
with dignified pageantry.
Your pride and honor
should burst forth.
- Oh, Shep!
- Sorry. Spaghetti and meatballs.
That's it!
This is hopeless.
You're all
leaving Earth forever.
- Hubble...
- Not now. I'm yelling.
That's what's gonna happen
if you don't straighten up.
This is the Greater Dane,
not some cockapoo
or Shih Tzu.
She'll have you strung up
by your tails.
- Strung up?
- Not my tail.
- What did he say?
- He's a little stressed out.
Let me talk to them
for a moment.
You all understand that you're being
asked to prove yourselves, right?
To prove that
you're worthy to live here,
to stay with the people
you love.
We want that
more than anything.
We'll do whatever
we need to do.
I know you will.
Just do your best.
They usually respond better
to a little... encouragement.
Let's start over.
When the Dane passes,
you must bow low before her.
No one's head should ever
be higher than hers.
Let's practice.
I'll play her.
Thank you.
Thank you, Earth dogs.
Nice to see you.
I'm pleased to visit
your fair planet.
Oh, isn't it lovely to be here?
La-dee-dah, la-dee-dah,
et cetera and so forth.
Not bad.
Not bad? That was cool.
It was good, actually.
I want to encourage you all
to keep practicing.
It's an attitude...
dignified, serious.
Now, have you figured out a way
to convince her we're in charge?
Connie had an idea.
Tell him your plan.
Whenever a great leader
visits the White House,
they give a formal dinner.
It's so lovely getting together
like this, Earth dogs.
We should do it more often.
It's hard for me,
Your Majesty.
I summer here,
but I winter in Miami.
Yes, I summer here, too,
but I winter in my poopie.
Whoa, Nelly.
That was embarrassing.
I'm fine.
Bring on the first course.
- Oh, my!
- They got steak.
I did say I was
hungry enough to eat a cow.
My compliments to the chef.
That's a sausage, right,
not a hot dog.
A hot dog would be wrong.
Can I just have a bite
right now?
Medium rare.
Look it.
Control.
- Control.
- Shep.
Your Majesty, I would like
to apologize in advance
for any farting.
- Is that chicken bits?
- No, sweetheart, that's pt.
What is she talkin' about,
pa-tay?
It's French
for meat byproduct.
Ooh, pass me the pt.
I must say, the humans are much
more domesticated than I expected.
Thank you very much, ma'am.
Has any other Greater Dane
ever visited Earth before this?
You're talking to me.
That can't happen.
Oh, yeah. Right.
It's been ages
since the last visit.
I betcha this will be
the fanciest welcome
any Dane's ever gotten.
We are in deep diddily doo-doo.
Hey, O.,
lookin' pretty spiffy there.
Hey, honey, we got
a very big day tomorrow.
- We're gonna sell, sell, sell.
- Sell, sell, sell.
Focus.
Eyes on the ball. Be the ball.
All right, Hub.
Go to bed.
I'm just saying, I think I could
get pretty good at this game.
What's the point if you're not
gonna be here long enough to play?
Oh, right.
It's just a silly game anyway.
Are you... agitated?
Yep, but it's not about you.
Don't worry.
You want a biscuit?
No.
It's hard to leave home.
I know.
But it's not
where you are, Owen.
It's who you're with.
Your mom and dad and you...
you make a good home.
Thanks.
All right, lights out.
I'll deal with you later.
All right, you gotta tell me.
- What?
- Why do you do those circles?
I'm building a mind fence.
- Excuse me?
- A mind fence.
It helps to keep out
negative thoughts while you sleep.
Yeah, sure.
How would you like to never, ever
have another bad dream?
- Never?
- Never, ever.
There. Go to sleep.
Mind fence.
Can't believe you fell for that one!
Hey.
Our cookies... in the air
will help sell your house
Cookies in the air
will sell your house
Oh, no.
I can sense it.
This could be the day.
Owen! This is
an all-family operation.
Up and at 'em!
No, Ma.
I have to work with the dogs today.
Owen, I need you
around here today.
- Mom. Mom!
- What?
There's nothing more important
than me working
with the dogs right now.
We've gotten some interesting calls
lately from the neighbors.
A particularly interesting one
from Connie's mother last night.
Your dad and I think
it's time to wrap it up
with the neighborhood dogs.
But, Mom, the dogs
need me now more than ever.
Today you're needed here,
with people.
I want you downstairs
in one minute.
Not good.
Dad, watch for Hubble.
That dog.
Not today, Hubba Bubba.
- I'll get him.
- No, I got him. You stay.
I'm gonna tie him up
out front.
Sit nicely out here and say,
"Hello! It's Open House Day.
Buy, buy, buy!"
That's what you're
gonna tell them.
She's got a little terrier
in her, that one.
- Hey, look, it's freak dog.
- What a freak.
Hey.
He's all alone.
And that should do it.
- Whoa!
- What was that?
Sounded like a sonic boom.
Yoo-hoo! Smile.
Cute.
That was a sonic boom?
Yeah. Doesn't make
sense, though.
Owen, change that shirt.
I need you to pass out
fact folders to the guests.
When I was a kid,
I used to hear that a lot,
but we lived near
an Air Force base.
That... that is weird.
Owen, tick-tock.
- Thank you.
- Great. Thanks a lot.
Mom.
- Mom.
- I was looking all over for you.
Feel free to roam the house
as you like.
- I can't find Hubble.
- I'm sure he's around somewhere.
Hubble's gone.
- Give him to me.
- I'm tryin'.
I can smell them.
It's Franky and Fred.
The Greater Dane
might be coming today.
We can't lose him now.
Straight edge.
Buzz cut.
- Let's give him a close shave.
- Yeah, shave.
I said the dog, loser.
There he is.
Help.
Get away from him,
you punks.
- Frank!
- I'm gonna get you, you brats!
I'm outta here.
Get him.
- Go!
- Hubble, run!
If I catch your butt,
I'm gonna bite it.
That little one is mine.
Oh, my back.
Red light.
We are law-abidin' citizens.
There they are.
Green means go.
There they go.
Yeah!
Over there.
Oh, we got 'em now!
Yeah!
Owen, it's a party!
What was in that gas?
'Cause I can't see straight.
Run! Run!
- What are you doing?
- What's going on?
The Greater Dane.
- Va-voom!
- That is one handsome lady.
Shh. Quiet.
Can someone tell her
to stay in focus, please?
Run!
Down.
Mom. Dad.
Bow down.
All hail Her Royal Highness!
That is not a dog.
What is that thing?
- That's a rat with a wig.
- It's a wig rat.
What's the matter
with all of you?
Don't you know who this is?
Look sharp!
Your Majesty,
what a lovely surprise.
We were all wondering
when you were gonna get
your royal heinie down here.
Can I bite him?
I'll bite him if you want me to.
You have a lot
of explaining to do, 3942.
3942. That's my number.
I'm not here right now.
Please leave a message.
Pull yourself together, Canid.
I'm sorry.
I'm totally serious now. I'm... Sirius!
Isn't there one among you
who knows how to give
your leader a proper welcome?
Oh, you're all dog meat now.
All of you, come with me.
Earth dogs.
And you, 3942.
What a disgrace.
- What's happening?
- Nothing good.
If it makes you feel any better,
we all knew
you were gonna screw up.
- Back!
- Yes, ma'am.
Right away, ma'am.
Yes, ma'am.
Every rumor I've heard about our
species on this planet appears to be true.
No dominance, no dignity.
We had something formal
planned for you.
"We had something formal..."
Shut your yap!
Enough.
Your little welcome party
was highly revealing, 3942.
I have no choice but to give
the order for global recall.
No.
I've seen all I need to see.
Wait!
No, you haven't.
You haven't.
You can't take them away.
Please. Dogs mean
so much to the world,
and you haven't seen
any of that yet.
They protect us,
and they keep us company,
and they always warn us
if something bad might happen.
Some dogs even work
with police and firefighters,
and do amazing things...
things people could never do
on their own.
Some dogs even help people
who can't see by guiding them.
We rely on them for so much.
You should be proud of them,
because people love dogs.
Did you know that?
People and dogs
love each other.
I am still curious as to why
a human boy is talking with me.
- Funny story.
- You did this?
It's not Hubble's fault.
I mean, 3942.
It's not his fault.
You better step down, Owen.
I'm sorry.
But please,
think about what I said.
Love?
Here they come.
Hubble.
What happened?
She decided to go home.
Is it all over?
It's all over.
- Yes!
- You did it, Owen!
Wait.
What about you, Hubble?
Are you... here?
I'm... here.
I don't believe it.
I thought I blew it.
Where's everybody going?
I think everyone's tired.
Oh. Well, we can
celebrate later, right?
Now we can play ball, Hub.
I know it won't be easy
not going back to Sirius,
but it's not where you are.
It's who you're with, right?
Yeah.
What is it, Shep?
My pretty ladybird.
Wilson?
That's my girl.
My sweet Nelly.
Yeah, you are sweet.
What?
I know I haven't been
the most affectionate dog.
It's okay.
You're different, Hub.
I like that about you.
But I've seen the way others
express themselves to their people,
and...
I want you to know,
I do like you.
I'm just not used
to all the customs here.
Hubble, it's all right.
You just told me
you liked me.
How many people get
to hear that from their dog?
Owen. Honey.
Mom?
Honey, Miss Ryan
is at the door.
She wants to talk to you.
What about?
I know Barbara Ann's
every move.
I know everywhere
she would go.
You don't understand.
It's as if she simply vanished.
Nelly!
Nelly!
Oh, no.
You're not saying Owen
took the dogs?
No. No, no, no.
He lost his dog, too.
I just don't understand
how he could know nothing
about what happened.
Now you're moving away.
Where does that leave us?
It's not Owen's fault.
- Connie, go inside.
- He tried to stop them.
Stop who, Connie?
Who took them?
The dogs.
The other dogs.
From outer space.
Maybe it is best
that you're leaving.
It's because of all this constant
moving we've been doing, isn't it?
I'm sure it's not helping.
The deal on the house
hasn't officially closed yet.
It's not too late
to change our minds.
What do we do?
Here you go.
The movers will be here
at 10:00 tomorrow.
- Where's your cap?
- I can't find it.
Owen, you know
we'll get you another dog.
And soon.
That's a promise.
Maybe I'm not supposed
to have one, Mom.
Don't say that.
Nobody deserves a dog
more than you.
Arhd firhally torhight.
File this urhder "Odd"
There's beerh a drastic irhcrease
irh reports of lost dogs
all over the state recerhtly
Authorities are baffled
by this rash of disappeararhces.
But say they're doirhg their best
to "srhiff out" the culprits
We' see you tomooiow n ght
Hubble, I'm sorry.
I let you down.
I should've kept quiet
up on that hill.
I hope I didn't get you
in trouble by talking.
I didn't think of...
I just didn't think.
Now everyone's losing their dogs,
and it's all my fault.
I know you can't hear me.
I miss you so much.
I never had a friend like you.
I wanted you to stay here
with me so badly.
But I...
I know you have
your home there.
I hope I didn't
screw everything up for you.
I hope they're not
being mean to you.
Because you're
a good boy, Hubble.
You are.
You're a good boy.
You are.
You're a good boy.
I have often wondered
what it was about human beings
that could lead so many
of our species astray...
what it is that makes us
abandon our drive for dominance.
Go on, 3942.
Speak.
Enlighten me.
I think it's friendship.
People and dogs
live side by side on Earth,
and they make a home together.
A home?
It seems that inspires
great loyalty.
I must ask you now...
where does your loyalty lie?
I prefer the name Hubble.
Owen, it's time to go.
Bye.
Bye.
Dad, was that
another sonic boom?
No, that was just
the movers closing the door.
Come on, buddy.
We really need to get goin'.
- Dad.
- Sorry about that.
- Pothole.
- No, that was too big of a noise.
- Owen.
- It was too big of a noise.
- Dad, stop. Wait!
- What is it?
Stop the car.
I forgot something.
- What?
- Owen!
Hey!
Owen!
Something's going on.
- Where are you going?
- The dogs!
The dogs!
- What?
- The dogs.
I know I heard it.
I know I heard it.
Please. Please.
What was that?
Now, wait a minute.
Look at that cloud up there!
- Look at that cloud!
- Look, the sky!
What is that?
Yes!
Here, boy. Over here.
- This button, right?
- You broke it.
- Don't touch that.
- I know what I'm doing!
Wait. Wait!
Listen.
Is that the dogs?
We're home!
I missed ya, Owen.
There's my main man.
- It's good to see you.
- It was a long flight.
That's the last time
I travel in a spaceship.
There she is!
There she is!
Hey there, Mama!
Hey, guys, I'm back!
Hello, Papa.
Look, Mom, he's back.
Say hi, Shep.
Are you here...
...to stay?
Yep.
The Greater Dane
declared Earth dogs
an entirely different breed.
I... really missed you.
I know.
I heard.
You heard?
I think you're
a good boy, too.
I almost forgot.
She said I could stay
on one condition.
Whoa!
Was that your woofer again?
Hubble?
Hubble.
I have so many more
questions to ask you.
How am I gonna know
what you're thinking?
Start unpacking.
- We're home for good.
- Yeah.
Hubble, good boy.
Good boy.