Grande sauterelle, La (1967) Movie Script
People are like words.
There's the ones I like
and the ones I don't like.
When I don't like, I eliminate.
Words, people, I eliminate.
"Eliminate", it's a word I don't like.
Eliminate it.
What an asshole you are.
Not even an asshole, you're just dumb.
You never go to the movies,
you don't keep yourself informed.
You maybe don't even have a brain.
If I look at you from above,
I'll probably see your teeth.
At the root of it, you're maybe
touching the truth by being so dumb.
When you start putting
your nose into knowledge,
it's worst than dope.
I started getting
a taste for it in the pen.
Want an example?
"Setting of scores",
What does it mean?
Don't answer,
it doesn't mean anything.
Scores are never set.
"Perfect crime",
what does it mean?
When a crime is perfect,
we call it an accident.
Why not say
"accident" on the first place?
Accidents only
happen to motherfuckers.
Here we go.
There's no need to tail him.
In 2 minutes 26 seconds,
small explosion,
swerve of the car.
Banal accident.
We're the first aid.
Shit, they're gonna
blast everything!
Fire, watch out!
Shit, it's failed.
Help! Call the fire service!
Fire! Fire!
No!
It's screwed for the diamonds.
Here! Here!
See you soon, scumbag.
Hurry up!
It's still a nice accident.
Your luggage.
No luggage.
- Where in town?
- In town.
It's funny, the less you have bread,
the further you go.
Middle east, Lebanon,
you don't even know where it is.
And suddenly, you're there.
Any luggage, sir?
They'll come by the road,
with my driver.
Take Mr Zimmerman to n17.
Some city smell oil,
some others smell fish.
Others smell death.
Beyrouth smells money.
My own fuel went up in smoke.
At the best, I have 48 hours.
Provided that I don't get
too hungry or too thirsty,
and don't score anything too pricey.
Hey!
Alfred?
As you see, Alfred!
What are you doing here?
Holidays. And you?
Me too.
Money here is like everywhere else,
you have to get it.
Business is becoming
harder and harder.
I've been working on a job for months.
Want to know about it?
- No.
- You must be at ease.
Jewelry collection, ruby, necklaces...
All you might need, ladies.
Come have a look at our collection.
I always had ups and downs.
Unlike you.
You have to fight,
you can't live on a single success.
But with the job I'm working on,
things might change. For good.
Got any money?
Yes.
- Pay him.
- Is that so...
If we make it, we split, huh?
- By the way, Alfred...
- What?
Your job,
it's not only buying lottery tickets?
My job is a safe.
And here's my safe.
It's empty now. I'll wait until it's full.
Sammy Grubert.
Oil, tin mines,
electronic equipment...
An income of a billion a year.
The craziest big-time gambler
I've ever seen.
You should see the dough
he's loosing on the green baize.
I've been tailing him
for the last three months.
Evian, Vittel, Vichy,
Forges-les-Eaux,
Divonne-les-Bains.
Did you see may face?
I'm never in bed before 6 a.m.
I can't stand him anymore.
One day, he'll win.
He'll make a fortune.
He'll exit the casino
with 300 or 400 million.
We'll just have to rob him.
Who's that, "we"?
Us.
I mean you.
Watch out!
What clothes have you got?
Those.
I'll show you the shirts.
Here.
Shirts, and after what?
You're a spoiled child!
Do you really need a tuxedo?
Depends on your billionaire,
it's not up to me.
Here's what we have.
Silken poplin...
Do you have something in nylon?
It saves the ironing.
You wash in the bathtub,
and you let it dry.
Two like this.
- All right.
Red again...
The red came out
three times in a row.
If it stays that way,
the table will break.
That would be a pity.
Especially for the croupier.
With her golden hair
and pretty hands.
If you hear me, horn.
Must be a Swedish girl.
Don't you like Swedish girls?
I like girls who smell like salt.
Don't you like salt?
Don't get mad.
I'm just trying to tell you
some pretty things.
Just try your mic and pretend
you're making a movie.
I won't tell you anything more,
you don't deserve it.
End of transmission.
I've your mic on my chest
and Gruber is facing me.
But it's not for tonight.
He doesn't see a card.
Gamblers are funny.
They don't look like anything else.
They're all quirks and habits.
I used to know one who put
a statue of Our Lady
of Perpetual Help on the table.
Grubert's religion is green and gold.
And most of all, cash money.
Never any cheque.
The gambling money,
he wants to feel it.
For him, it's velvet,
by the double meaning of the term.
Alfred is right.
The day cards will be nice on him,
Grubert is gonna cash a lot.
One day,
he'll get up with a kilo in chips.
We'll just have to cash the jackpot.
Unlucky, Mr Grubert ?
- No.
- Cash?
Of course.
Cash is beautiful like a love song.
But "Unlucky, Mr Grubert",
are the kind of lyrics
I don't want to hear anymore.
Nice evening, Mr Grubert?
- A couple of funny hands.
- Tomorrow, maybe?
Maybe. Good evening.
He's not reasonable.
He loses 500 grands
without batting an eyelid,
but he'd get his kicks
for a few coins!
That too...
That too, it's a funny race.
It can pays
as much as Alfred's trick,
but you need heart and health.
- Good evening, Mr Grubert.
- Good evening.
Pigs are a funny race too.
Shit. A pigsty.
Mr Grubert's car!
Good evening, sir.
Thank you.
We're not good for 300 million,
but for 20 years in the pen.
You see him play?
Better not have a heart condition.
Caf latte.
- Vichy water.
Following the water city route like this,
he depraved me.
To rob him at the casino,
it's better...
It's better not to have
a heart condition.
There were two cops tailing him.
And he was going out
without a pound.
What it's gonna be the day
he'll leave with the money box.
We'll don't even have the chance
to ask him the time.
You have a funny way
to see things...
I try to be realistic.
And so?
There's probably...
I'm listening.
Grubert is going out of the casino.
Good.
And then?
- What, then?
Is he living on a boat?
At the hotel?
How many kms away
from the casino?
Which way is he taking?
I don't know.
But that's what we need to know.
We'll work on that
for 24 hours and then,
we'll know if the job can be done.
What if he wins in the meantime?
Too bad.
Or do the job alone.
That's smart. My blood pressure
is at 8. Chicken heartbeats.
A partner already dump me
because he was a gambler.
One night, at Divonne,
he won. Never saw him after.
No change.
- Me neither.
You pulled that trick yesterday.
I don't understand how someone
can pull you that trick twice?
Let me tell you something.
Grasshoppers of your kind...
Pay yourself.
- For everything? Coke, egg, croissant?
Grasshopper!
You could say thanks.
I didn't ask you for anything.
The same night, we got started.
We had to study in details
what Grubert was doing.
Good evening, Mr Grubert.
Mr Grubert's car!
I follow him.
Make enquiries about the driver's habits.
Sleepless nights and green baize,
aren't you sick of it?
What about going to Venice?
You're right.
It's time to go to bed.
You'll keep on eating eggs
if you let go johns like this.
There's three things I like in life:
hard-boiled egg,
love on the sun
and guys who mind
their own business.
As we can't rob him there,
nor here,
we have to rob him here.
And the cops? The driver?
Can you listen to me
for a moment?
Grubert
get out of the casino.
Mr Grubert's car!
They call his driver.
His boss his losing at cards,
he's losing at dices.
Grubert is having his walk,
about a minute and a half.
When the driver arrives at the car,
that's your move.
You stop when you arrive
near Grubert.
Grubert is about to get in.
I am here.
We take Grubert and the dough.
We'll get rid of him before
to pass the Syrian border.
Hey! What's the matter with him,
is he nuts?
He could dump me here
to make it looks real.
Small question:
why Grubert would get in my car?
Huh?
He'll get in this car,
that's the same one.
We just have to buy it.
A Pontiac?
Do you know how much does it cost?
What if the driver show up?
We won't let him get in his car.
Can I ask how?
Just take any key.
Yes.
And break it inside the keyhole.
It will be over
by the time he realizes.
Well, well!
It just takes a minute.
You're right.
You also need to buy
a driver suit.
Take something cheap
if you want!
My money.
Come on, not that quick!
I won it.
That was too easy.
Let me make you an offer.
You spend the evening with us,
or you jump again.
From the top one.
Okay.
- Okay for what?
- I jump again.
What she's doing isn't very nice.
We'll take her with us anyway.
When I saw her stepping forward
on the springboard,
I knew right away it was towards me.
What about asking her
to fetch coins in the water
with her teeth?
When I saw the small-time crook,
I knew I was gonna bust his ass.
That was probably
an bad encounter.
But in what way?
Is it coming?
Okay.
I jumped.
Yes, but the feet first.
It doesn't count.
You didn't say so.
I'm saying it, now.
I was supposed to jump, I jumped.
Here's how it is:
you have to dive.
You're a bunch of morons.
Come on...
Come on...
Filthy morons.
Come on, guys, let's move.
Mister?
You forgot something.
You forgot to pay.
You offered her some money.
She jumped, she's waiting for her money.
Put yourself in her shoes.
If I was in your shoes, I would mind...
My own business.
I've been told that already.
Let's go. They're ugly and sad.
You're not gonna make troubles
for so little money.
Be nice.
Okay.
We'll give her the money.
But she has to strip.
Grasshopper, it's up to you.
Let's go, I'm cold.
Are we leaving?
Why are you always
calling me "Grasshopper"?
Don't you like it?
This morning, not at all.
Tonight...
Let's not speak about tonight.
Okay...
What are we speaking about?
About you.
No interest.
Do you have a lighter?
Are you often defending the weak?
I know the rules of some games.
You've been scared to death,
you should had cash the money.
Moralist?
A morality of my own.
When you lose, you cough up.
And this guy had a dickhead.
Are you cold?
- Yes.
Let's find an open place
where you can drink a grog.
I'd prefer mulled wine.
Already drank some?
That must be awful.
Undrinkable. But it makes
listening Gideon bearable.
Poets are always full of shit
when they speak of the sea...
We were saying, "itinerate"...
Itinerate, all right.
I'll remember that.
But watch out, not the regatta.
The big race, beware of sharp bends.
Transpose, young man.
One should always transpose.
Transpose or die. Here...
Let's take the Pacific.
What do you think
it is?
Don't whisper him.
Go drink your mulled wine.
So what's the Pacific?
A kind of ocean?
- I was expecting that one.
- A whorehouse.
Exactly.
She's transposing. Just as I do.
A worthy student.
Yes. The biggest whorehouse
in the world.
Flowers and whores are turning
in the evening's air...
Young man, there's between
Caroline islands and Leeward islands,
the most incredible selection
of flowers and girls.
A rainbow of corollas and butts.
Mayflower...
Savannah rose...
Orchids for Miss Blandish.
I hope, young man,
that you like whores.
Gideon !
Just asking!
Thanks.
Whore is inseparable
of the things of the sea.
She gives the pox to the sailor
but she embellishes his conversation.
You don't like it.
It's bitter.
I'm out of vanilla.
Have to go to the Chinese's.
The grocer.
I understood.
If we were
in a respectable place
either than in this country,
I could had serve you some punch.
Do you know what the Oceania is?
A bordello!
A bar!
The biggest bar in the world.
They're serving rum in soup tureen.
Once, I took a seven years long bender.
I'll tell you about it.
That's a story she doesn't like.
Tell about the night
you gamble your boat.
Or about the day you killed the lion...
- The lion?
- Yes, the lion.
That's a terrible one.
I was rather hunting leopards.
Winchester 32 with explosive bullets,
it's not my cup of tea!
I'm hunting with an assegai.
Was it an appointment with destiny
or an attraction between wild beasts,
I don't know but the lion and I...
Crack! Face to face,
as they say on TV.
Him, with his claws,
myself with curare.
Instinct versus intelligence.
I like Gideon,
his head is always full of lions,
schooners, parrots...
- And he's selling nougat.
- On top of that!
And he's a born liar!
- Everybody lies.
- More or less.
More or less well. Him, it's pretty.
I'm expected, there's an arabian barbecue.
Want to come along?
I've got an appointment
at the casino.
Keep a lamb chop for me.
Okay.
You're one hour late, what's wrong?
Nothing. He won't make more than
50 or 60 grands, it's not for tonight.
It's about being patient, as you said.
What if he gets lucky now?
All right, I go back there.
Alfred, I love you.
You feed me, you give me a bed,
and you make me laugh.
He's at least at 17.
They're gonna strip him off.
That's enough, I'm out of here.
We're losing our time.
I waited for an hour in front of the hotel.
Where were you?
At the swimming pool.
Let's go by the beach.
The pool, now the beach,
you really like water.
- Hello?
- Hello, yes.
I have a bath and see you in 30 mn.
Where are we eating?
I'm not having lunch.
I go to the beach.
Again? You've became some kind
of aquatic robber?
Hello? What's happening?
Hello?
When one is seeking for a woman,
it means he's poorly tooled.
Me, in Zanzibar,
I had three!
Polygamy means safety.
The all-risks insurance.
Or else, the crazy love,
the big neurosis, only...
Woman with a capital "W",
Love with a capital "S",
It's worst than the white whale.
It drives you crazy to look for it.
My Isolde...
My princess fairy...
I've met her once.
Once.
She was beautiful in all aspects.
But she was giving away all the bread
she made to a blond pimp.
It was a garlic smelling jewish,
and, on his way from Formosa,
he's took her away
from a bordello of Shanghai.
He made about 20 million
but his luck turned.
Do you have a light?
Got a light for me too, buddy?
You are here every night.
But you never gamble.
I'm not lucky enough.
You mean... for gambling, right?
I guess your staying in Beyrouth?
Excelsior Hotel.
What about going there right now?
Do you have a car?
There's taxis.
A taxi!
Keep your jewels inside, Madame.
This place isn't safe. Good night.
- But...
- It's full of thieves.
To the airport.
Good evening, Grasshopper.
Are you there every night?
Be careful!
Yes.
I've been there.
You gave money to have chips.
And you gave the chips back
to have money.
It was so boring.
I never get bored
when I see 100 million on a table.
I passed by the beach last night.
We left at 2.
We went to see a friend, Wladimir.
I hope it's a joke?
- What?
- You really like money?
Oh, yes!
You didn't went back at Gideon's?
No.
- You stayed at Wladimir's ?
- Yes.
You don't look like a money guy.
Don't be stupid,
everybody likes money!
Everybody wants everything.
Without dough, you've got nothing.
Sun, snow, cars,
women, everything is for sale.
Oh, yeah?
How much do I worth?
And you,
for that good woman
how much did you worth?
Why did you ask me
if I went back at Gideon's?
Just to know.
- You knew, you went to see him.
- Me?
You also went to see
the ice-cream man.
Grasshopper.
- What?
I need to find a gun.
And a place to sleep.
Are you sleepy?
I can't go back to the hotel.
Perfect.
Let's go see the roman ruins.
I don't give a damn about
the roman ruins.
You're wrong,
they're 100 kms away from here.
I don't have a car.
Wladimir has plenty.
Hi!
We looked for you everywhere.
I messed up your thing...
I don't give a shit.
Oh, it's you.
Hey, can you lend me a car?
No!
Here.
Hey, can you lend me a car?
No.
Which one?
I don't give a shit.
Not this blue. I like this one.
Excuse me.
Thanks.
- Hey! Keep quiet, Wlad is sleeping!
- And so what?
Wladimir...
Are you sleeping with him?
Like this, from time to time.
If it's bothering you, I can stop.
I don't give a shit.
Today, nobody gives a shit
about nothing. Well.
Fill it up.
Is Wladimir Russian?
No, Chinese. Come on,
with a name like this...
What is he doing?
And you?
Are you angry?
No, I don't feel like talking.
Ah, okay.
I would have seen Baalbek's ruins.
Thank you.
It's gonna be a beautiful day.
Are you afraid of him?
Wladimir?
Cut it with Wladimir.
The guy from the pier.
I'd like better
if we forget about him
for a little while more.
Is he dangerous?
He has a gun
and I don't have one.
Here. It's for you.
Wladimir ?
Let's have breakfast,
then we'll go get the tickets.
- The tickets for what?
- Tonight! Bach, Haendel, Mozart...
You have to gather strength.
Sciences ex,
and then two years of chemistry.
I got fed up of it.
Faculty, lab, nights at Castel's...
The same guys,
with the same problems...
Discussions about jazz, Vietnam,
erotism, Sartre...
I realized I had a stupid life.
A girl told me:
"I'm on my way to Stockholm".
I left with her.
You were right. I was hungry.
I saw.
You left without any money?
Yes.
We can live without money.
I mean almost without.
In Stockholm, I met a boy
who was drawing on the sidewalks.
I taught me, it's easy.
I went to Palma, Ibiza,
I also played the guitar in the street.
At Portofino, at Saint-Trop'.
You always find something to eat.
Even with a dive
in a swimming-pool.
Sometimes.
Or else...
With the 10 000 bill trick!
Hey! Often.
The nights where everything goes bad,
you pinch a little.
A tuna can, a bottle of whisky.
Five or six people
in a grocery shop, it's easy.
Did you ever steal?
Of course! That's my job.
Your future is sealed
when you're seven.
Either you learn swindling or sol-fa.
The kids who have to get
their own food run faster.
I really had to run a lot!
In my street, you also needed
a good straight punch.
Is being tough that important?
Since the beginning of the world,
the good Lord is on the weak's side.
But He let them suffer each time.
So better learn boxing than catechism.
I don't like theories about the jungle.
But you follow them.
Might makes right,
or beauty makes right, that's even.
We take what we want.
And leave nothing but scraps.
Wladimir's car, your 6 months
on the sun, your freedom.
If you were overripe, you'd be 8 hours
a day in an office,
you'd take the metro.
Freedom...
is a luxury.
What's my freedom anyway?
I just fall from a trap to another one.
There was Saint-Germain,
there was the swedish summer,
there was Wladimir...
And there's going to have you, maybe.
Oh, no, no!
Come!
Not that I'm getting bored but
I have to go pick up the tickets.
Do you have an idea for tonight?
Plenty.
We can sleep on the beach.
Or don't sleep at all.
For that, I prefer a large bed.
I know what you need.
Hotel de France,
air con, television, Dunlopillo.
Terrific.
Tell me to get the tickets.
Go get the tickets.
You see,
I'll stay like this all my life.
It'll be nice.
Be quiet. Sleep.
Okay. I sleep.
I will have had long holidays.
Then, I'll go back home.
When?
I don't like thinking about all this.
But I do. I watch for small wrinkles.
That will be the signal
for going back home, the small wrinkles.
Come on,
tell me to go get the tickets.
Sleep.
Okay.
And you?
What, me?
Do you plan to steal for long?
You never steal for very long.
Not because of the small wrinkles.
Because of the cops.
Why ?
Do you think it's normal?
To be a cop? Certainly not!
And you...
And you?
Making love with a thief...
Do you think it's normal?
That's holidays.
And after holidays,
you'll take the veil?
A husband?
I'll buy a duplex and let the people
call me Madame.
What's your name by the way?
Grasshopper.
Grasshopper... Grasshopper...
Grasshopper!
Grasshopper!
I go get the places.
It maybe doesn't worth it.
It does.
I'll meet you at the hotel after.
What is that?
The ruins of Baalbek.
The outdoor theatre,
the...
the ''Cincinnati Symphony Orchestra'',
and the candies
for the intermission.
Why going on the draft
when we have air con here?
Why risk to be badly sited
when we can lie down here?
That's the idea.
You see, I understood.
Hello?
I'd like to speak with
the Palm Beach hotel, in Beyrouth.
Thank you.
Is the weather nice?
It's raining heavily.
Do you wanted to go out?
We overslept, huh?
Hello? Palm Beach,
room n18, please.
Yes?
Alfred? It's me.
Not mad at me?
You couldn't be more relax than I am.
Yesterday night,
I couldn't come. I really couldn't.
And I think I can't tonight either.
A guy is looking for me.
He found me.
- You saw Marco?
- He didn't show any I.D.
He's showing me his gun.
And he's asking you to come.
Pass him through.
- Hello?
- Marco?
I'll be there in one hour,
don't do anything stupid.
I never do anything stupid,
why are you telling me that?
Alfred has nothing
to do in our business.
I didn't touch him.
Not yet.
Come on, hurry up.
What's wrong?
Marco's snatched Alfred.
Marco, that's the guy from the pier.
And Alfred, my partner.
What are we doing?
You nothing, you just wait for me.
I'll be back for lunch.
Get up, Marco.
No.
My gun is pointed at your buddy.
We're going straight to something bad.
He came for business.
- Can we talk?
- I'm listening.
Grubert, how much
do you think he worth?
Grubert? Who's that?
I spilled the beans.
According to him, about 300 million.
If I'm part of the team,
that makes 100 million each.
Do we agree on that?
Let's put away the props,
and have a reasonable and useful talk.
If I had came for you,
it would have been easy yesterday morning.
The girl was there.
I would have take care of her too,
and that was it.
You're really are a funny dude!
Always a chick with you!
I also like tall gracious girls,
with long legs.
Do you want her or the bread?
The bread.
Are you okay?
So, I'll explain.
Can I have a drink while a do so?
Yes.
You know how much
I get to do you in? 3 million.
Instead of doing a bad deal
by icing a pal,
I'd rather do
a good one along with him.
My bread, I see it getting big
in real estate.
Once you have the dough,
let me tell you how to look good.
Ostrich skin gloves,
jacket and Bentley.
You never look out of place.
Real estate, it's solid.
You really don't know anything
about originality.
The Bentley, that makes
you look good for the chicks.
For sure.
Rose wood leaves,
porte-bouquet...
Stone is stone.
Without speaking castle...
Alfred,
who's speaking castle
but is thinking millstone.
And the other, speaking Bentley
and dreaming of whores.
How dumb they are,
it can't be true!
I can't stand them anymore.
What if I just get up,
if I just leave and tell them
to fuck off once and for all?
It would be cool as a glass of water.
And the height of the doors?
1,35 m.
So you can get in
without taking off your top hat.
That's smart!
If you've one pad in Paris,
one in Brittany, one in the South,
you organize your rotation,
you don't need heating anymore.
Got any projects?
Yes.
Oh, come on, what's this?
You need to have
a nerve to get in this.
Oh... Wow!
And I was just speaking style
and standard of living...
You need to have
a nerve to get in this.
It belongs to the guy I let my tuxedo,
I'll go exchange them.
Don't lose your way!
Come with me.
You'll have to take me back.
We weren't gonna leave you alone.
What are you doing here?
I'm eating.
You're mostly drinking.
"I'll be back for lunch."
I've been waiting for you for tea,
then for dinner.
I called, you didn't answer.
When?
Two hours ago.
I was on the road,
harassed by an English woman.
Hitchhiking my way back from Baalbek,
you must admit that's a bit rich!
The concert enthusiast!
You have dinner with us?
No, I'll bring the car back.
Do you know where is my tuxedo?
You had a tuxedo?
And he prizes his stuff.
He's from the meticulous type.
He already spoiled
a pair of shoes during
his fishing session.
If now he also lost a tuxedo...
Stop it, will you?
The maid put it away.
We're gonna find it back.
Thanks.
Look up to this mess!
Shit, it's all crumple.
Can you iron it?
I could.
Try steam, above the bathtub.
No, give him some money
to buy a new one.
I don't want to hear him anymore.
How much does it cost, 100, 200?
All right, excuse me.
If we'd give you that money,
you wouldn't buy a tuxedo,
you would keep it under your pillow.
Strange to see the habits
of some men...
Those who like stamps,
black stockings...
You, you like bills.
And you, slaps!
Your dude will never win.
He's a born loser.
We'll just spend
our nights watch him losing.
I already played cards.
To the Belote?
What about robbing
a winner instead?
Would be more simple
to rob the cashier. Go to sleep.
Hey, do you know him?
Are we going back?
I do.
I'm thirsty. I stay in the car.
I'm not boozing!
Go drink something with Marco,
you'll have a chat.
He has great ideas.
He's in a pet.
Don't turn it on.
Come.
What are you gonna do today?
Pack my things.
I'm going to Greece.
When did you decide that?
When I woke up.
Why Greece?
I've never been there,
that's a good reason.
Have you been there?
No.
Come with me.
What would we do there?
The same thing than here.
Can you delay
your departure a little?
No. When you want to go somewhere,
you must go right away,
or you'll never do it.
You know what you told me,
last night...
Oh la la !
What, "Oh la la"?
Last night was nice,
when it's nice, we say it.
But as we like to make things complicate,
we also say...
"I love you", "Slap me",
"I want a child from you"...
It's what you say in certain occasions,
just livening up rhetoric.
Words that become meaningless
once you've turn on the light.
Or once you've turn it off
if it's stayed on.
You know that.
Don't be silly.
At what time do you leave?
I don't know yet.
Do you take a plane?
The boat, if we can call it like this.
The one I'm thinking about
is more a floating grocery shop.
The captain is an old Greek.
A friend of Gideon.
He's selling oranges, rice, monkeys...
With him, the trip can be...
Five days or two months.
I have to say goodbye
to the buddies.
Come on... Come on.
Big game.
Grubert has the luck of the devil,
but we have to wait.
Gideon...
The Parthenon! The Peloponnese!
Follow the guide.
Olympia! Oh my mother...
When you want to hit the road,
you tell yourself plenty of stories.
Suitcase packers always have alibis.
But me, my man, I know them all.
All! From the White Fathers
to the wild ducks.
Weither it's the Bantu Gospel,
or the flying triangle.
But, to try to sell me that,
girl, you must have some nerve!
Because me, when it comes
to restlessness of any type,
I've hoisted all kind of sails,
I've got nothing to learn.
What are you speaking about?
I'm speaking...
Good riddance,
have a nice trip. That's it.
Also, be careful
of the ottoman coast.
Be sure to pass it offshore.
A nasty breeze
and you'll end up favorite
of the Great Turk!
I know, Mycoyos knows
the winds pretty well.
He's a freebooter himself,
like his father.
Dangerous rascal,
the perfect guy.
But I repeat, beware of the Turks!
The first turban: bang, bang!
Shoot on sight.
Come on, get up.
Get up.
What did you bring me?
Forget it.
A sweater.
The nights are cold.
You haven't been nice
the other night.
Should I forgive you?
Let's go play baccara.
I'll leave the gains to you
and keep the losses for me.
Say, Alfred, what about
selling orange or monkeys?
What does it mean,
do you have a code?
What? No! I mean... no!
I don't know.
By the way, Alfred, I forgot rice.
Yes, oranges, monkeys and rice.
What does this monkey story means?
There's also rice.
You'll have the money
to buy everything you like.
Pink cars,
white telephones, blondes.
You're gonna have plenty of dough.
He's winning.
And I leave you my share.
Here. And good luck.
Why do you want us to go?
What will we do?
The same as here.
I'm leaving. If you stay,
forget about this half-assed plan.
Forget Marco.
I'm not listening.
He'll put you into troubles, he's nut.
As you'll never set the world on fire,
you guys are gonna put yourself
in a really shitty situation.
I'm worrying for you.
- I'm over 18.
- He's not.
But I like him.
Him and you,
I don't give a shit. I'm broke...
If we don't do it,
I'll have to sell the car.
And after that?
And no, I've been recounting
that dough too much to quit now!
Asking me not to take it is like
if you were stealing from me.
Beat it.
So long, Alfred.
Good luck.
Alfred, listen to me.
Grubert lost all the money but
an emir is really filling his pockets.
He just made 100 million.
We're gonna hit and run him.
Get ready.
Thank you.
He's gonna change the money.
Start the engine.
Okay.
It makes 1 150 000 pounds.
I'll have it in cheque.
He seems to be alone.
We'll grab it as soon as
he'll arrive downstairs!
- Not in front of everybody!
- Shut up, do it!
Go ahead!
There's 200 million to take!
Please, it's only 10 000 pounds.
It's worth at least 50.
Mr Grubert's car!
What would you do
if you had 100 million?
I would give them to you.
Do you want an orange?
If you peel it for me.
For Cinemageddon,
October 2010
There's the ones I like
and the ones I don't like.
When I don't like, I eliminate.
Words, people, I eliminate.
"Eliminate", it's a word I don't like.
Eliminate it.
What an asshole you are.
Not even an asshole, you're just dumb.
You never go to the movies,
you don't keep yourself informed.
You maybe don't even have a brain.
If I look at you from above,
I'll probably see your teeth.
At the root of it, you're maybe
touching the truth by being so dumb.
When you start putting
your nose into knowledge,
it's worst than dope.
I started getting
a taste for it in the pen.
Want an example?
"Setting of scores",
What does it mean?
Don't answer,
it doesn't mean anything.
Scores are never set.
"Perfect crime",
what does it mean?
When a crime is perfect,
we call it an accident.
Why not say
"accident" on the first place?
Accidents only
happen to motherfuckers.
Here we go.
There's no need to tail him.
In 2 minutes 26 seconds,
small explosion,
swerve of the car.
Banal accident.
We're the first aid.
Shit, they're gonna
blast everything!
Fire, watch out!
Shit, it's failed.
Help! Call the fire service!
Fire! Fire!
No!
It's screwed for the diamonds.
Here! Here!
See you soon, scumbag.
Hurry up!
It's still a nice accident.
Your luggage.
No luggage.
- Where in town?
- In town.
It's funny, the less you have bread,
the further you go.
Middle east, Lebanon,
you don't even know where it is.
And suddenly, you're there.
Any luggage, sir?
They'll come by the road,
with my driver.
Take Mr Zimmerman to n17.
Some city smell oil,
some others smell fish.
Others smell death.
Beyrouth smells money.
My own fuel went up in smoke.
At the best, I have 48 hours.
Provided that I don't get
too hungry or too thirsty,
and don't score anything too pricey.
Hey!
Alfred?
As you see, Alfred!
What are you doing here?
Holidays. And you?
Me too.
Money here is like everywhere else,
you have to get it.
Business is becoming
harder and harder.
I've been working on a job for months.
Want to know about it?
- No.
- You must be at ease.
Jewelry collection, ruby, necklaces...
All you might need, ladies.
Come have a look at our collection.
I always had ups and downs.
Unlike you.
You have to fight,
you can't live on a single success.
But with the job I'm working on,
things might change. For good.
Got any money?
Yes.
- Pay him.
- Is that so...
If we make it, we split, huh?
- By the way, Alfred...
- What?
Your job,
it's not only buying lottery tickets?
My job is a safe.
And here's my safe.
It's empty now. I'll wait until it's full.
Sammy Grubert.
Oil, tin mines,
electronic equipment...
An income of a billion a year.
The craziest big-time gambler
I've ever seen.
You should see the dough
he's loosing on the green baize.
I've been tailing him
for the last three months.
Evian, Vittel, Vichy,
Forges-les-Eaux,
Divonne-les-Bains.
Did you see may face?
I'm never in bed before 6 a.m.
I can't stand him anymore.
One day, he'll win.
He'll make a fortune.
He'll exit the casino
with 300 or 400 million.
We'll just have to rob him.
Who's that, "we"?
Us.
I mean you.
Watch out!
What clothes have you got?
Those.
I'll show you the shirts.
Here.
Shirts, and after what?
You're a spoiled child!
Do you really need a tuxedo?
Depends on your billionaire,
it's not up to me.
Here's what we have.
Silken poplin...
Do you have something in nylon?
It saves the ironing.
You wash in the bathtub,
and you let it dry.
Two like this.
- All right.
Red again...
The red came out
three times in a row.
If it stays that way,
the table will break.
That would be a pity.
Especially for the croupier.
With her golden hair
and pretty hands.
If you hear me, horn.
Must be a Swedish girl.
Don't you like Swedish girls?
I like girls who smell like salt.
Don't you like salt?
Don't get mad.
I'm just trying to tell you
some pretty things.
Just try your mic and pretend
you're making a movie.
I won't tell you anything more,
you don't deserve it.
End of transmission.
I've your mic on my chest
and Gruber is facing me.
But it's not for tonight.
He doesn't see a card.
Gamblers are funny.
They don't look like anything else.
They're all quirks and habits.
I used to know one who put
a statue of Our Lady
of Perpetual Help on the table.
Grubert's religion is green and gold.
And most of all, cash money.
Never any cheque.
The gambling money,
he wants to feel it.
For him, it's velvet,
by the double meaning of the term.
Alfred is right.
The day cards will be nice on him,
Grubert is gonna cash a lot.
One day,
he'll get up with a kilo in chips.
We'll just have to cash the jackpot.
Unlucky, Mr Grubert ?
- No.
- Cash?
Of course.
Cash is beautiful like a love song.
But "Unlucky, Mr Grubert",
are the kind of lyrics
I don't want to hear anymore.
Nice evening, Mr Grubert?
- A couple of funny hands.
- Tomorrow, maybe?
Maybe. Good evening.
He's not reasonable.
He loses 500 grands
without batting an eyelid,
but he'd get his kicks
for a few coins!
That too...
That too, it's a funny race.
It can pays
as much as Alfred's trick,
but you need heart and health.
- Good evening, Mr Grubert.
- Good evening.
Pigs are a funny race too.
Shit. A pigsty.
Mr Grubert's car!
Good evening, sir.
Thank you.
We're not good for 300 million,
but for 20 years in the pen.
You see him play?
Better not have a heart condition.
Caf latte.
- Vichy water.
Following the water city route like this,
he depraved me.
To rob him at the casino,
it's better...
It's better not to have
a heart condition.
There were two cops tailing him.
And he was going out
without a pound.
What it's gonna be the day
he'll leave with the money box.
We'll don't even have the chance
to ask him the time.
You have a funny way
to see things...
I try to be realistic.
And so?
There's probably...
I'm listening.
Grubert is going out of the casino.
Good.
And then?
- What, then?
Is he living on a boat?
At the hotel?
How many kms away
from the casino?
Which way is he taking?
I don't know.
But that's what we need to know.
We'll work on that
for 24 hours and then,
we'll know if the job can be done.
What if he wins in the meantime?
Too bad.
Or do the job alone.
That's smart. My blood pressure
is at 8. Chicken heartbeats.
A partner already dump me
because he was a gambler.
One night, at Divonne,
he won. Never saw him after.
No change.
- Me neither.
You pulled that trick yesterday.
I don't understand how someone
can pull you that trick twice?
Let me tell you something.
Grasshoppers of your kind...
Pay yourself.
- For everything? Coke, egg, croissant?
Grasshopper!
You could say thanks.
I didn't ask you for anything.
The same night, we got started.
We had to study in details
what Grubert was doing.
Good evening, Mr Grubert.
Mr Grubert's car!
I follow him.
Make enquiries about the driver's habits.
Sleepless nights and green baize,
aren't you sick of it?
What about going to Venice?
You're right.
It's time to go to bed.
You'll keep on eating eggs
if you let go johns like this.
There's three things I like in life:
hard-boiled egg,
love on the sun
and guys who mind
their own business.
As we can't rob him there,
nor here,
we have to rob him here.
And the cops? The driver?
Can you listen to me
for a moment?
Grubert
get out of the casino.
Mr Grubert's car!
They call his driver.
His boss his losing at cards,
he's losing at dices.
Grubert is having his walk,
about a minute and a half.
When the driver arrives at the car,
that's your move.
You stop when you arrive
near Grubert.
Grubert is about to get in.
I am here.
We take Grubert and the dough.
We'll get rid of him before
to pass the Syrian border.
Hey! What's the matter with him,
is he nuts?
He could dump me here
to make it looks real.
Small question:
why Grubert would get in my car?
Huh?
He'll get in this car,
that's the same one.
We just have to buy it.
A Pontiac?
Do you know how much does it cost?
What if the driver show up?
We won't let him get in his car.
Can I ask how?
Just take any key.
Yes.
And break it inside the keyhole.
It will be over
by the time he realizes.
Well, well!
It just takes a minute.
You're right.
You also need to buy
a driver suit.
Take something cheap
if you want!
My money.
Come on, not that quick!
I won it.
That was too easy.
Let me make you an offer.
You spend the evening with us,
or you jump again.
From the top one.
Okay.
- Okay for what?
- I jump again.
What she's doing isn't very nice.
We'll take her with us anyway.
When I saw her stepping forward
on the springboard,
I knew right away it was towards me.
What about asking her
to fetch coins in the water
with her teeth?
When I saw the small-time crook,
I knew I was gonna bust his ass.
That was probably
an bad encounter.
But in what way?
Is it coming?
Okay.
I jumped.
Yes, but the feet first.
It doesn't count.
You didn't say so.
I'm saying it, now.
I was supposed to jump, I jumped.
Here's how it is:
you have to dive.
You're a bunch of morons.
Come on...
Come on...
Filthy morons.
Come on, guys, let's move.
Mister?
You forgot something.
You forgot to pay.
You offered her some money.
She jumped, she's waiting for her money.
Put yourself in her shoes.
If I was in your shoes, I would mind...
My own business.
I've been told that already.
Let's go. They're ugly and sad.
You're not gonna make troubles
for so little money.
Be nice.
Okay.
We'll give her the money.
But she has to strip.
Grasshopper, it's up to you.
Let's go, I'm cold.
Are we leaving?
Why are you always
calling me "Grasshopper"?
Don't you like it?
This morning, not at all.
Tonight...
Let's not speak about tonight.
Okay...
What are we speaking about?
About you.
No interest.
Do you have a lighter?
Are you often defending the weak?
I know the rules of some games.
You've been scared to death,
you should had cash the money.
Moralist?
A morality of my own.
When you lose, you cough up.
And this guy had a dickhead.
Are you cold?
- Yes.
Let's find an open place
where you can drink a grog.
I'd prefer mulled wine.
Already drank some?
That must be awful.
Undrinkable. But it makes
listening Gideon bearable.
Poets are always full of shit
when they speak of the sea...
We were saying, "itinerate"...
Itinerate, all right.
I'll remember that.
But watch out, not the regatta.
The big race, beware of sharp bends.
Transpose, young man.
One should always transpose.
Transpose or die. Here...
Let's take the Pacific.
What do you think
it is?
Don't whisper him.
Go drink your mulled wine.
So what's the Pacific?
A kind of ocean?
- I was expecting that one.
- A whorehouse.
Exactly.
She's transposing. Just as I do.
A worthy student.
Yes. The biggest whorehouse
in the world.
Flowers and whores are turning
in the evening's air...
Young man, there's between
Caroline islands and Leeward islands,
the most incredible selection
of flowers and girls.
A rainbow of corollas and butts.
Mayflower...
Savannah rose...
Orchids for Miss Blandish.
I hope, young man,
that you like whores.
Gideon !
Just asking!
Thanks.
Whore is inseparable
of the things of the sea.
She gives the pox to the sailor
but she embellishes his conversation.
You don't like it.
It's bitter.
I'm out of vanilla.
Have to go to the Chinese's.
The grocer.
I understood.
If we were
in a respectable place
either than in this country,
I could had serve you some punch.
Do you know what the Oceania is?
A bordello!
A bar!
The biggest bar in the world.
They're serving rum in soup tureen.
Once, I took a seven years long bender.
I'll tell you about it.
That's a story she doesn't like.
Tell about the night
you gamble your boat.
Or about the day you killed the lion...
- The lion?
- Yes, the lion.
That's a terrible one.
I was rather hunting leopards.
Winchester 32 with explosive bullets,
it's not my cup of tea!
I'm hunting with an assegai.
Was it an appointment with destiny
or an attraction between wild beasts,
I don't know but the lion and I...
Crack! Face to face,
as they say on TV.
Him, with his claws,
myself with curare.
Instinct versus intelligence.
I like Gideon,
his head is always full of lions,
schooners, parrots...
- And he's selling nougat.
- On top of that!
And he's a born liar!
- Everybody lies.
- More or less.
More or less well. Him, it's pretty.
I'm expected, there's an arabian barbecue.
Want to come along?
I've got an appointment
at the casino.
Keep a lamb chop for me.
Okay.
You're one hour late, what's wrong?
Nothing. He won't make more than
50 or 60 grands, it's not for tonight.
It's about being patient, as you said.
What if he gets lucky now?
All right, I go back there.
Alfred, I love you.
You feed me, you give me a bed,
and you make me laugh.
He's at least at 17.
They're gonna strip him off.
That's enough, I'm out of here.
We're losing our time.
I waited for an hour in front of the hotel.
Where were you?
At the swimming pool.
Let's go by the beach.
The pool, now the beach,
you really like water.
- Hello?
- Hello, yes.
I have a bath and see you in 30 mn.
Where are we eating?
I'm not having lunch.
I go to the beach.
Again? You've became some kind
of aquatic robber?
Hello? What's happening?
Hello?
When one is seeking for a woman,
it means he's poorly tooled.
Me, in Zanzibar,
I had three!
Polygamy means safety.
The all-risks insurance.
Or else, the crazy love,
the big neurosis, only...
Woman with a capital "W",
Love with a capital "S",
It's worst than the white whale.
It drives you crazy to look for it.
My Isolde...
My princess fairy...
I've met her once.
Once.
She was beautiful in all aspects.
But she was giving away all the bread
she made to a blond pimp.
It was a garlic smelling jewish,
and, on his way from Formosa,
he's took her away
from a bordello of Shanghai.
He made about 20 million
but his luck turned.
Do you have a light?
Got a light for me too, buddy?
You are here every night.
But you never gamble.
I'm not lucky enough.
You mean... for gambling, right?
I guess your staying in Beyrouth?
Excelsior Hotel.
What about going there right now?
Do you have a car?
There's taxis.
A taxi!
Keep your jewels inside, Madame.
This place isn't safe. Good night.
- But...
- It's full of thieves.
To the airport.
Good evening, Grasshopper.
Are you there every night?
Be careful!
Yes.
I've been there.
You gave money to have chips.
And you gave the chips back
to have money.
It was so boring.
I never get bored
when I see 100 million on a table.
I passed by the beach last night.
We left at 2.
We went to see a friend, Wladimir.
I hope it's a joke?
- What?
- You really like money?
Oh, yes!
You didn't went back at Gideon's?
No.
- You stayed at Wladimir's ?
- Yes.
You don't look like a money guy.
Don't be stupid,
everybody likes money!
Everybody wants everything.
Without dough, you've got nothing.
Sun, snow, cars,
women, everything is for sale.
Oh, yeah?
How much do I worth?
And you,
for that good woman
how much did you worth?
Why did you ask me
if I went back at Gideon's?
Just to know.
- You knew, you went to see him.
- Me?
You also went to see
the ice-cream man.
Grasshopper.
- What?
I need to find a gun.
And a place to sleep.
Are you sleepy?
I can't go back to the hotel.
Perfect.
Let's go see the roman ruins.
I don't give a damn about
the roman ruins.
You're wrong,
they're 100 kms away from here.
I don't have a car.
Wladimir has plenty.
Hi!
We looked for you everywhere.
I messed up your thing...
I don't give a shit.
Oh, it's you.
Hey, can you lend me a car?
No!
Here.
Hey, can you lend me a car?
No.
Which one?
I don't give a shit.
Not this blue. I like this one.
Excuse me.
Thanks.
- Hey! Keep quiet, Wlad is sleeping!
- And so what?
Wladimir...
Are you sleeping with him?
Like this, from time to time.
If it's bothering you, I can stop.
I don't give a shit.
Today, nobody gives a shit
about nothing. Well.
Fill it up.
Is Wladimir Russian?
No, Chinese. Come on,
with a name like this...
What is he doing?
And you?
Are you angry?
No, I don't feel like talking.
Ah, okay.
I would have seen Baalbek's ruins.
Thank you.
It's gonna be a beautiful day.
Are you afraid of him?
Wladimir?
Cut it with Wladimir.
The guy from the pier.
I'd like better
if we forget about him
for a little while more.
Is he dangerous?
He has a gun
and I don't have one.
Here. It's for you.
Wladimir ?
Let's have breakfast,
then we'll go get the tickets.
- The tickets for what?
- Tonight! Bach, Haendel, Mozart...
You have to gather strength.
Sciences ex,
and then two years of chemistry.
I got fed up of it.
Faculty, lab, nights at Castel's...
The same guys,
with the same problems...
Discussions about jazz, Vietnam,
erotism, Sartre...
I realized I had a stupid life.
A girl told me:
"I'm on my way to Stockholm".
I left with her.
You were right. I was hungry.
I saw.
You left without any money?
Yes.
We can live without money.
I mean almost without.
In Stockholm, I met a boy
who was drawing on the sidewalks.
I taught me, it's easy.
I went to Palma, Ibiza,
I also played the guitar in the street.
At Portofino, at Saint-Trop'.
You always find something to eat.
Even with a dive
in a swimming-pool.
Sometimes.
Or else...
With the 10 000 bill trick!
Hey! Often.
The nights where everything goes bad,
you pinch a little.
A tuna can, a bottle of whisky.
Five or six people
in a grocery shop, it's easy.
Did you ever steal?
Of course! That's my job.
Your future is sealed
when you're seven.
Either you learn swindling or sol-fa.
The kids who have to get
their own food run faster.
I really had to run a lot!
In my street, you also needed
a good straight punch.
Is being tough that important?
Since the beginning of the world,
the good Lord is on the weak's side.
But He let them suffer each time.
So better learn boxing than catechism.
I don't like theories about the jungle.
But you follow them.
Might makes right,
or beauty makes right, that's even.
We take what we want.
And leave nothing but scraps.
Wladimir's car, your 6 months
on the sun, your freedom.
If you were overripe, you'd be 8 hours
a day in an office,
you'd take the metro.
Freedom...
is a luxury.
What's my freedom anyway?
I just fall from a trap to another one.
There was Saint-Germain,
there was the swedish summer,
there was Wladimir...
And there's going to have you, maybe.
Oh, no, no!
Come!
Not that I'm getting bored but
I have to go pick up the tickets.
Do you have an idea for tonight?
Plenty.
We can sleep on the beach.
Or don't sleep at all.
For that, I prefer a large bed.
I know what you need.
Hotel de France,
air con, television, Dunlopillo.
Terrific.
Tell me to get the tickets.
Go get the tickets.
You see,
I'll stay like this all my life.
It'll be nice.
Be quiet. Sleep.
Okay. I sleep.
I will have had long holidays.
Then, I'll go back home.
When?
I don't like thinking about all this.
But I do. I watch for small wrinkles.
That will be the signal
for going back home, the small wrinkles.
Come on,
tell me to go get the tickets.
Sleep.
Okay.
And you?
What, me?
Do you plan to steal for long?
You never steal for very long.
Not because of the small wrinkles.
Because of the cops.
Why ?
Do you think it's normal?
To be a cop? Certainly not!
And you...
And you?
Making love with a thief...
Do you think it's normal?
That's holidays.
And after holidays,
you'll take the veil?
A husband?
I'll buy a duplex and let the people
call me Madame.
What's your name by the way?
Grasshopper.
Grasshopper... Grasshopper...
Grasshopper!
Grasshopper!
I go get the places.
It maybe doesn't worth it.
It does.
I'll meet you at the hotel after.
What is that?
The ruins of Baalbek.
The outdoor theatre,
the...
the ''Cincinnati Symphony Orchestra'',
and the candies
for the intermission.
Why going on the draft
when we have air con here?
Why risk to be badly sited
when we can lie down here?
That's the idea.
You see, I understood.
Hello?
I'd like to speak with
the Palm Beach hotel, in Beyrouth.
Thank you.
Is the weather nice?
It's raining heavily.
Do you wanted to go out?
We overslept, huh?
Hello? Palm Beach,
room n18, please.
Yes?
Alfred? It's me.
Not mad at me?
You couldn't be more relax than I am.
Yesterday night,
I couldn't come. I really couldn't.
And I think I can't tonight either.
A guy is looking for me.
He found me.
- You saw Marco?
- He didn't show any I.D.
He's showing me his gun.
And he's asking you to come.
Pass him through.
- Hello?
- Marco?
I'll be there in one hour,
don't do anything stupid.
I never do anything stupid,
why are you telling me that?
Alfred has nothing
to do in our business.
I didn't touch him.
Not yet.
Come on, hurry up.
What's wrong?
Marco's snatched Alfred.
Marco, that's the guy from the pier.
And Alfred, my partner.
What are we doing?
You nothing, you just wait for me.
I'll be back for lunch.
Get up, Marco.
No.
My gun is pointed at your buddy.
We're going straight to something bad.
He came for business.
- Can we talk?
- I'm listening.
Grubert, how much
do you think he worth?
Grubert? Who's that?
I spilled the beans.
According to him, about 300 million.
If I'm part of the team,
that makes 100 million each.
Do we agree on that?
Let's put away the props,
and have a reasonable and useful talk.
If I had came for you,
it would have been easy yesterday morning.
The girl was there.
I would have take care of her too,
and that was it.
You're really are a funny dude!
Always a chick with you!
I also like tall gracious girls,
with long legs.
Do you want her or the bread?
The bread.
Are you okay?
So, I'll explain.
Can I have a drink while a do so?
Yes.
You know how much
I get to do you in? 3 million.
Instead of doing a bad deal
by icing a pal,
I'd rather do
a good one along with him.
My bread, I see it getting big
in real estate.
Once you have the dough,
let me tell you how to look good.
Ostrich skin gloves,
jacket and Bentley.
You never look out of place.
Real estate, it's solid.
You really don't know anything
about originality.
The Bentley, that makes
you look good for the chicks.
For sure.
Rose wood leaves,
porte-bouquet...
Stone is stone.
Without speaking castle...
Alfred,
who's speaking castle
but is thinking millstone.
And the other, speaking Bentley
and dreaming of whores.
How dumb they are,
it can't be true!
I can't stand them anymore.
What if I just get up,
if I just leave and tell them
to fuck off once and for all?
It would be cool as a glass of water.
And the height of the doors?
1,35 m.
So you can get in
without taking off your top hat.
That's smart!
If you've one pad in Paris,
one in Brittany, one in the South,
you organize your rotation,
you don't need heating anymore.
Got any projects?
Yes.
Oh, come on, what's this?
You need to have
a nerve to get in this.
Oh... Wow!
And I was just speaking style
and standard of living...
You need to have
a nerve to get in this.
It belongs to the guy I let my tuxedo,
I'll go exchange them.
Don't lose your way!
Come with me.
You'll have to take me back.
We weren't gonna leave you alone.
What are you doing here?
I'm eating.
You're mostly drinking.
"I'll be back for lunch."
I've been waiting for you for tea,
then for dinner.
I called, you didn't answer.
When?
Two hours ago.
I was on the road,
harassed by an English woman.
Hitchhiking my way back from Baalbek,
you must admit that's a bit rich!
The concert enthusiast!
You have dinner with us?
No, I'll bring the car back.
Do you know where is my tuxedo?
You had a tuxedo?
And he prizes his stuff.
He's from the meticulous type.
He already spoiled
a pair of shoes during
his fishing session.
If now he also lost a tuxedo...
Stop it, will you?
The maid put it away.
We're gonna find it back.
Thanks.
Look up to this mess!
Shit, it's all crumple.
Can you iron it?
I could.
Try steam, above the bathtub.
No, give him some money
to buy a new one.
I don't want to hear him anymore.
How much does it cost, 100, 200?
All right, excuse me.
If we'd give you that money,
you wouldn't buy a tuxedo,
you would keep it under your pillow.
Strange to see the habits
of some men...
Those who like stamps,
black stockings...
You, you like bills.
And you, slaps!
Your dude will never win.
He's a born loser.
We'll just spend
our nights watch him losing.
I already played cards.
To the Belote?
What about robbing
a winner instead?
Would be more simple
to rob the cashier. Go to sleep.
Hey, do you know him?
Are we going back?
I do.
I'm thirsty. I stay in the car.
I'm not boozing!
Go drink something with Marco,
you'll have a chat.
He has great ideas.
He's in a pet.
Don't turn it on.
Come.
What are you gonna do today?
Pack my things.
I'm going to Greece.
When did you decide that?
When I woke up.
Why Greece?
I've never been there,
that's a good reason.
Have you been there?
No.
Come with me.
What would we do there?
The same thing than here.
Can you delay
your departure a little?
No. When you want to go somewhere,
you must go right away,
or you'll never do it.
You know what you told me,
last night...
Oh la la !
What, "Oh la la"?
Last night was nice,
when it's nice, we say it.
But as we like to make things complicate,
we also say...
"I love you", "Slap me",
"I want a child from you"...
It's what you say in certain occasions,
just livening up rhetoric.
Words that become meaningless
once you've turn on the light.
Or once you've turn it off
if it's stayed on.
You know that.
Don't be silly.
At what time do you leave?
I don't know yet.
Do you take a plane?
The boat, if we can call it like this.
The one I'm thinking about
is more a floating grocery shop.
The captain is an old Greek.
A friend of Gideon.
He's selling oranges, rice, monkeys...
With him, the trip can be...
Five days or two months.
I have to say goodbye
to the buddies.
Come on... Come on.
Big game.
Grubert has the luck of the devil,
but we have to wait.
Gideon...
The Parthenon! The Peloponnese!
Follow the guide.
Olympia! Oh my mother...
When you want to hit the road,
you tell yourself plenty of stories.
Suitcase packers always have alibis.
But me, my man, I know them all.
All! From the White Fathers
to the wild ducks.
Weither it's the Bantu Gospel,
or the flying triangle.
But, to try to sell me that,
girl, you must have some nerve!
Because me, when it comes
to restlessness of any type,
I've hoisted all kind of sails,
I've got nothing to learn.
What are you speaking about?
I'm speaking...
Good riddance,
have a nice trip. That's it.
Also, be careful
of the ottoman coast.
Be sure to pass it offshore.
A nasty breeze
and you'll end up favorite
of the Great Turk!
I know, Mycoyos knows
the winds pretty well.
He's a freebooter himself,
like his father.
Dangerous rascal,
the perfect guy.
But I repeat, beware of the Turks!
The first turban: bang, bang!
Shoot on sight.
Come on, get up.
Get up.
What did you bring me?
Forget it.
A sweater.
The nights are cold.
You haven't been nice
the other night.
Should I forgive you?
Let's go play baccara.
I'll leave the gains to you
and keep the losses for me.
Say, Alfred, what about
selling orange or monkeys?
What does it mean,
do you have a code?
What? No! I mean... no!
I don't know.
By the way, Alfred, I forgot rice.
Yes, oranges, monkeys and rice.
What does this monkey story means?
There's also rice.
You'll have the money
to buy everything you like.
Pink cars,
white telephones, blondes.
You're gonna have plenty of dough.
He's winning.
And I leave you my share.
Here. And good luck.
Why do you want us to go?
What will we do?
The same as here.
I'm leaving. If you stay,
forget about this half-assed plan.
Forget Marco.
I'm not listening.
He'll put you into troubles, he's nut.
As you'll never set the world on fire,
you guys are gonna put yourself
in a really shitty situation.
I'm worrying for you.
- I'm over 18.
- He's not.
But I like him.
Him and you,
I don't give a shit. I'm broke...
If we don't do it,
I'll have to sell the car.
And after that?
And no, I've been recounting
that dough too much to quit now!
Asking me not to take it is like
if you were stealing from me.
Beat it.
So long, Alfred.
Good luck.
Alfred, listen to me.
Grubert lost all the money but
an emir is really filling his pockets.
He just made 100 million.
We're gonna hit and run him.
Get ready.
Thank you.
He's gonna change the money.
Start the engine.
Okay.
It makes 1 150 000 pounds.
I'll have it in cheque.
He seems to be alone.
We'll grab it as soon as
he'll arrive downstairs!
- Not in front of everybody!
- Shut up, do it!
Go ahead!
There's 200 million to take!
Please, it's only 10 000 pounds.
It's worth at least 50.
Mr Grubert's car!
What would you do
if you had 100 million?
I would give them to you.
Do you want an orange?
If you peel it for me.
For Cinemageddon,
October 2010