Grassroots (2012) Movie Script
There's
a long line of cars
and they're trying
to get through
there's no single
explanation
there's
no central destination
but this
long line of cars
is trying
to get through
and this long line
of cars
is all because of you
you don't wonder
where we're going
or remember
where we've been
you've got to keep
this traffic flowing
and accept a little spin
so this long line
of cars
will never have an end
and this long line
of cars
keeps coming
around the bend
Nice bear suit,
buddy!
From the streets
of Sacramento
to the freeways of L.A.
We've got to keep
this fire burning
and accept a little gray
so this long line
of cars
is trying to break free
and this long line
of cars
is all because of me
there's
a long line of cars
long line of cars
[ telephone rings ]
Hello?
It's just not
working out, Phil.
You're not happy
with us
and we're not happy
with you.
I'm sorry, but how do you know
I'm not happy with you?
I read what you write.
It's between the lines.
You're firing me
for subtext?
You're not being
constructive.
I don't find this
to be a very
constructive experience.
Let's not burn
any Bridges, Phil.
Shit!
Aah!
You can show people,
all right?
You said so yourself
a hundred times over,
it's a stepping stone.
To what?
I'm finished, em,
okay?
Fired from the stranger?
You can't get any lower.
Why'd I ever leave
that job in Memphis?
To fall in love with me.
That's why.
My parents
are gonna kill me.
Man on TV: The secret
to our ab slammer
is our ab slammer
patented technique.
Oh, it's amazing.
You mean I only need
to do this video
three days a week
to get the beach body
I've always dreamed of?
Man on TV: Are you forced to
spread butter with a knife
like some sort of caveman?
Are you gonna come to bed?
Introducing sputter.
It's spreadable butter.
Sputter...
[ static ]
The issue of research
involving stem cells
derived from human embryos
is increasingly
the subject...
answering machine:
You've reached 861-4800.
To leave a message for Phil,
press one; For Doug, press two;
for snow wolf, press three;
And for Emily, press four.
[ Beep ]
Hey, asshole, grant here.
Come on, pick up!
Pick up! Pick up!
I know you're sitting
on the couch, right?
Right in the middle of that
stinky couch of yours.
Come on, pick up the phone!
Pick up! Pick up! Pick up!
So you got sacked?
You leaving town?
I should.
Answer my question.
No, no. I've got Emily
and there's...
good, we need to talk.
Meet me at the comet
in 20 minutes,
and don't be late.
[ Music plays ]
They say
it's called the comet
because
one landed here once,
but do comets land, man?
Oh, bravo!
Free at last.
You did it.
No, seriously,
corporate employment
is as dead as
the old world order.
You should thank Nick
for pulling the scales
off your eyes.
The usual.
Why weren't you at
the cha-cha last night?
Dude, the murder city devils
destroyed it without...
murder city devils?
Are they local?
Oh, my God, are you
serious right now?
Fuck me, man!
What do you listen to,
Celine Dion?
No wonder they sacked you.
Hey, where's his tomato?
Come on.
You know what?
It's fine, all right?
It's fine
because, because
I'm coming to a really,
really big decision
and I want you to be
the first to hear about it.
The city council primaries?
I'm gonna run.
I'm serious.
It's because
of this guy, huh?
Richard McIver.
He has got to go down.
He's awful,
and no one with, like,
three working brain cells
is stepping up to run
against him, so I'm going to.
[ Scoffs ]
Oh, you think this is funny?
What?
All right.
No, I got to show you
a thing or two.
Grant? Grant!
Hey! Come on.
I hate that, though.
There are never any
parking meters ever!
Gonna get a ticket,
yeah, yep, thanks to
McIver and his henchmen.
And how long
have you harbored
this grudge for the guy?
Since forever.
But you've never
mentioned it?
I was waiting for things
to hit critical mass.
Look, there it is!
There. There it is.
That?
Yeah, that.
The key my electoral
strategy, my victory.
All right, great.
Can we go home now?
A promise from the 1960s,
Phil, from the world's fair.
From before we were born.
A super ass modern
mass transportation system
that was to have spread
its wings all over the city,
barely touching
the neighborhoods
it was to pass over.
And you know why?
Look at the base.
Smaller than a taco stand.
But there's only one stop
in the middle
of nowhere downtown.
Two idiot Miles long
to a really useful
space needle.
But it's electric
and elegant as shit.
A miraculous machine
and, listen, silent, right?
Like the breeze,
like magic.
But most important
of all, it's cheap.
And you want to know
how many times McIver
and his fucking fuck
goons have voted it down
so they could build
whatever the shit
they wanted?
Stealing millions
off all those good folk
living right down there.
You know
how many times?
A zillion, to make money
from building those, see?
Highways that have
bisected and trisected
and now they want
to build on the ground,
right in the middle
of all our traffic jams,
a heavy fucking
tank train system.
Exactly, which they call
light rail,
and, of course, they're
lying about that, too.
They steal and cheat
and over here, huh?
They're buying up land
from there to there.
Come on, Phil.
To there... And, no.
And all the way,
all the way over here.
Phil, they're just cutting
our city into pieces!
And even worse,
oh, look at her.
Look at her, Phil.
She's so beautiful.
This is what we need
to save right here!
And you want to know the
first thing that I do
when I get elected?
I'm gonna walk
into the city chambers
in my beautiful
white fur.
I will not
be made a victim
of your cowardly ways!
Never!
Save the polar caps!
Build the monorail!
Save the planet,
you fucks!
Reowr!
Doesn't it matter to you
that you have no
experience in politics?
I'm a journalist.
People respect that.
You're an unemployed
music critic.
People
know the difference.
All right, you know what?
I'm running in the primaries
and I'm gonna get myself
into that general election
and then I'm gonna win
this thing.
And you know
what else, Phil?
You're gonna do it with me.
It's the reason
you got fired.
It's destiny. It is.
Have you wondered
exactly when it was
that you first
lost your mind?
[ Laughs ]
What's so funny?
Have you even considered
McIver is black?
And?
And he's, like, the only
black city councilman.
Okay, so what?
What, are we practicing
reverse racism now?
No, I'm practicing
my power of thinking.
I mean, grant is white
and he's unqualified.
He's bombastic.
It's not funny,
it's embarrassing.
I mean, grant's gonna get
laughed out of the primaries
and so are you.
Why are you
even doing this?
Does it matter?
Okay, so you got fired
so now you can just say
fuck you to everyone?
You're smart.
Thanks, dad.
I don't tell you
that enough.
I am gonna run
Grant Cogswell's
city council campaign!
1, 2, 3, Cogswell.
For city council!
Shit, what he said, dude.
What did he say?
[ Cheering ]
[ Laughs ]
You're
my campaign manager.
You're the one who sent
out all those emails.
Where's at least
somebody?
You were supposed
to follow up with...
I hate this chair.
It hurts my back.
Why would you
have chairs like this
in your coffee shop?
It's not my coffee shop.
Fix this, Phil!
Fix it!
Wow!
Hey!
Hey! You think you
look like a politician
when you storm off
like that?
I mean, waitresses, they
vote, too, you know.
I hate these shoes!
I need better
arch supports!
[ Horns honk ]
Look at this.
People whine and bitch
about traffic all day long,
but do they think
of a way out? Huh?
You screw mass transit
for the working class
and you screw it
for the entire system!
The suckage trickles up!
McIver's flushing
Seattle down the toilet
and he doesn't
even know it!
Hey! Doesn't
this suck, huh?
Doesn't it?
Doesn't it suck?
Look at where you're
sitting right now, huh?
Don't make me
get out there!
Look at what we've done
to each other!
Get out of here, jerk!
Doesn't this awful traffic
bug you into action? Huh?
[ Woman screams ]
Would you like to support
my campaign
for stalled mass transit?
Doesn't this suck?
Get out of here,
you lunatic!
Grant!
The monorail, your monorail.
We can have it
across the city
in five years, if even that.
And it'll pay for itself
in less than
a Seattle heartbeat.
And yet McIver
wants a debacle
that'll cost a fortune.
Why does he want this?
For the greenbacks,
my fine feathered friends,
to plump
his already pot-belly,
money-hungry
construction pimps
that fill up
his campaign coffer!
They call it light rail.
What does that even mean,
light rail?
My butt hole!
It's crazy lies,
lies on top of lies.
So he'll continue
to rape this city,
but I love this place.
I love it.
I love it so much
that I've carved
its seal onto my arm.
So give me your endorsement.
Rise above it all!
We can't offer you
our endorsement.
But nobody cares about your
monorail more than I do.
In fact, I'm the
only one who showed up
to this little function
thing of yours today.
That's got to mean
something.
Which is why we can't risk
what little influence we have
on fringe politics.
Fringe politics.
You mean, politics
that don't compromise?
That speak the truth,
which is the only way
to beat them, Clair.
Not by playing into their
conniving little fingers
like lambs
to the slaughter.
Please help us.
We can do...
I can do this!
Otherwise, you guys are just
another fucking social club
on a list
sucking each other off!
All right, all right.
Listen, can I just...
can we just use
your name in public?
[ Laughs ]
Absolutely not.
God! Mmm!
What a fucking
bitch!
You know, grant,
you talk a lot of shit.
What we need to do
is embrace our position.
We're the little guys.
People like the little guys.
It's more satisfying
when they win.
Then why do incumbents
always get re-elected?
Because they stack
the cards in their favor!
No, they rig
the fucking system, man!
They choose how much money
you can spend,
what the jurisdictions are.
They even got those little
voter pamphlets rigged.
What are you
talking about?
The voter pamphlets,
you know, the things that
they send out in the election,
you know, or polls and shit.
They even got the little
government stamp on it
and everything.
Only in Seattle,
you can't say anything
about the incumbent in it.
You can't even mention
the incumbent's name.
It's the law.
It's a joke.
You sure about this?
That's why I verbalized it.
We're being gagged here, man.
You know, when
I worked in Memphis,
it was for
this alt weekly
that let me dig into
all kinds of stuff.
Man, that city
was so messed up.
Poverty, corruption,
cronyism.
The cops were a bunch
of racist Hicks
still into Jim crow,
but no one cared.
You know what I did?
My back hurts.
Can we just go?
I sued them.
I took them to court
and I won, twice.
You got a coat? A tie?
Seattle itself
has demonstrated
a targeted
and intentional bias
toward limiting the
political effectiveness
of candidates who wish
to challenge incumbents.
Here's
a voter pamphlet
from last year's city council
election in San Francisco.
You'll notice a place
for candidates
to put pros and cons,
reasons why they think
they should be elected
and why the incumbent
totally fricking sucks.
Same with Los Angeles
and New York.
And even Dallas
fucking Texas!
I mean, but Seattle,
west coast liberal
progressive Seattle,
10 years ago, the Seattle city
council passed an ordinance
forbidding candidates from
mentioning their opponents
in their voter pamphlet
statements.
It's total bullshit!
Just bullshit!
They've rigged the whole
tottering system
to stay in power!
Well, I'm sure you're
making a valid point
and we'll give it...
it's not just that!
It's the incumbent
can say
whatever the hell
he wants!
He can brag,
he can manipulate,
lie about his resume,
his voting record.
Even fuck his purple
pet parakeet
and grill it in the
microwave for breakfast.
But can a challenger target
these inane insanities?
Can he expose it
in the one document that
most voters actually read? No!
Fuck. Sorry.
Now, correct us
if we're wrong here,
but isn't restricting
our ability
to comment upon matters
of public record
a violation
of the first amendment?
Some would say
you're using this lawsuit
to take advantage
of the free media.
Well, it's true
that every candidate
who's challenging
an incumbent
wants as much exposure
as possible.
He's on TV!
It's grant!
It's too important for
the people to be exposed
to all ideas, brilliant,
constructive, idiotic.
Exposure, it's an issue
that affects every candidate
in every part of the city.
Get out!
It's that grant guy.
You got to be
kidding me.
This is really important in
every position, not just me.
No way!
For those of you
that don't know,
grant
is something different.
Different is good, right?
So...
Grant Cogswell.
[ Applause ]
Mass transit
is a social justice issue.
When you hear McIver pimping
his light rail plan,
the sound you really hear
is that of a giant toilet
flushing away
the city's under-class.
I mean, he'll never build
this so-called light rail
'cause it's just
a giant ploy.
A train five times
the size of any trolley?
It'll never stop even close
to fast enough.
It'll run over children
and cats and dogs
until they have to put up
heavy fences and walls,
and there goes
the neighborhood, folks.
While McIver and his buddies
will be living
in fancy mansions,
driven into the city
by limos,
and we'll all be stuck
in a hell of noise,
litter, and danger.
[ Applause ]
I'll take any questions,
if there are any.
My name's grant Cogswell,
so if you have
any questions...
we need contributions
and, you know,
we need volunteers.
We can't do this on our own,
so, if...
You know, anything.
This is grassroots, folks.
These guys are the underdogs
because everything
they're saying
is not packaged or scripted
or paid for by big business.
Now, here's a guy
who actually believes
in something.
When's the last time you saw
a politician do that?
So let's give him
every penny we got.
Volunteer.
Let's see if this crazy
son of a bitch
can actually get some good done
in this city for once, right?
[ Cheers and applause ]
Well, I think
you've actually
made a smart move
with this thing,
no matter what people
are saying.
What exactly
are people saying?
You got fired,
pissed off your boss,
now you got
a credibility problem.
But if you can get a
no-name clown like grant
decent numbers
in the primary,
there are people
who'll pay for that.
Really?
I've been covering
city council elections
in the weekly
for, like, forever,
so even if you think all
this sounds like bullshit...
Lunch is on you,
by the way.
Lunch, right.
How do we get
decent numbers?
Stay above the fray.
Ignore
the other candidates.
Fire only at McIver.
If you're running grant
as a populist,
make him look like one.
Have a crowd
of volunteers around him
wherever he goes,
an entourage.
Right, the entourage
strategy.
And never look like you
don't have an answer.
If someone asks you
something that stumps you,
ask him to repeat
the question.
It buys you time
to think
without making you
look like W.
Would you repeat
the question?
McIver's smart, he's
witty, he's friendly,
but he's not gonna have
a lot of volunteers.
He'll have money,
but you won't,
so you got
to start aggressive.
Pitch grant
to all the papers.
Strange if you don't.
It's unusual for Mr. Fredericks
to see someone
who drops by unannounced.
But he won't return
my calls.
I can give you
his voice mail.
Look, all I can offer you
is my silent support.
Simply isn't conducive
to my own platform.
Okay.
How do you plan
to support us silently?
Woman: We're grateful
to be aware
of your candidate's
position,
but the king county
labor council
has already pledged
its support to Mr. McIver.
Can you explain to me
why you would do that?
McIver's record on labor
is only passable at best.
Sorry. [ Hangs up ]
Thank you.
My name's Phil Campbell
and grant's running
against Richard McIver.
Your name's
Phil Campbell?
Afraid so.
Don't you write
for the stranger?
Yeah, wrote, past tense.
You heard of the Aaron
Roberts shooting, right?
This is the guy
who dug up all that dirt
on the police
oversight committee.
I could tell you about it,
but then you might quote me.
What are these?
I'm running grant Cogswell's
campaign for city council.
Grant Cogswell?
Isn't he that music critic
who's suing the city?
He's got quite a temper,
doesn't he?
He's a very passionate guy.
Well, if circumstances
should change,
I've got a reporter
heading out
on maternity leave
in a couple of weeks.
That's amazing!
When do you start?
Could you repeat
the question?
What?
I'm stalling.
It's a political trick,
buying time by making the
other person ask you again.
Okay.
When do you start?
Well, I have to
tell grant first,
but the guy gave me
till Tuesday
to make
a final decision.
So...
It is gonna kill grant.
What are you talking about?
I mean,
grant's psychotic, Phil,
and you're playing into
his delusions of grandeur
by pretending with him that
he's running for office,
and that's
what's killing grant.
I understand.
I know, you're right.
Of course,
I've had my fun.
Well, I know this is hard.
No, it's okay.
First thing tomorrow,
it's done.
It's done.
I'm not nervous.
I didn't say you were.
You're implying if I
ask you how I'm doing.
I don't appreciate that kind
of affront to my confidence.
It makes me nervous.
Look at my hands.
McIver's gonna
be here today.
It's part of his job.
He must go down.
He must go down!
You're gonna stay on point,
though, right?
Right?
Only local issues,
no big talk about
multinationals and sweatshops.
Leave me alone!
The greed
of those at the top
has always affected the lives
of those less fortunate,
those less willing
to steal with impunity,
and that's why
I want to ensure
that our police
and firefighters
have better
training equipment.
We need to keep safe
those that keep us safe.
Who did you vote
for president in 2000?
I did not vote
for George Bush.
That's not answering
the question.
That's Pernell Alden,
fool of all fools.
He once tried
to punch me out.
I gave it to him,
though.
I'm sure you did.
He's nine points
ahead of you in the polls.
That's him!
That's the asshole!
He's totally
oblivious,
just like his
leadership style.
And next on our list is an
incumbent, Richard McIver.
[ Applause ]
Beth.
Good evening.
How's everyone?
Good looking group, you are.
This primary brings us
into a new millennium.
Now, whether
that's meaningful
or just another date
on the calendar
depends on what we want
Seattle to be,
upon our ability to choose
our future willfully
and with our eyes open.
Now, how do we prepare
for this?
I have had the privilege
of being in position
on city council
to watch as our perspective
on the future
has changed over the years,
and changed radically.
Am I right, guys?
I mean, not to mention
the forces that are at play
whenever we try to peer
into that future,
forces that
I grapple with daily
as a city council member.
You know, he doesn't
seem like an asshole.
That's what
assholes do.
They get you by not
seeming like assholes.
Decisions we make today will
have long-lasting impact.
Did you know he'd be
this good at it?
Actually,
this is the first time
I've seen him up close.
By expanding state route 520
over lake Washington.
How far
do we push development
at the expense
of our own environment?
Do we want to be a city
of automobiles, huh?
Or are we willing to make
the necessary sacrifices
to bring about
true mass transportation?
God, he's so
full of shit!
Look, there's the bitch.
They're all here.
McIver: These are
difficult choices,
but with choices
comes opportunity, okay?
Thank you for listening.
Oh, oh, and I would
appreciate your vote.
[ Laughs ]
So I'd like to see you all
at the polls, all right?
Thank you so much.
Thank you for your time.
[ Applause ]
The 36th district
will now hear a statement
from candidate
grant Cogswell.
[ Scattered applause ]
This is gonna be
interesting.
Hi. My name's
grant Cogswell.
I'll be running
in the primaries
for city council position
number eight,
Mr. McIver's seat.
Jesus Christ, with choice
comes opportunity?
What opportunity?
To expand the 520 bridge?
We can't do it!
I grew up in the area where
the I-90 freeway was expanded
and look at it.
It's a mess of dirt, grime,
litter, pollution.
It's criminal...
And you know it.
McIver talks about wanting
to provide equal opportunity
for all of Seattle.
What the hell
is he talking about
when he supports
ideas like these?
He's totally in bed with
the construction bozos,
which is why he's pushing
for this so-called light rail
which, by the way, is just
brave new world double-speak
for a 100-ton
heavy rail catastrophe!
Sorry. I just...
Mass transit is a social
justice issue, folks.
You provide a safe,
reliable way
for someone to get
from home to work,
and what you're really doing
is providing
a safe, reliable way
for that person
to earn a living,
to connect with others,
to live a life of community
that includes all of us,
not just the rich!
McIver talks about
the committee
to approve the committee
that approves
other committees.
This is just
off the charts awful!
You're one
of those committees!
Extend the monorail.
Elegant and inexpensive.
The monorail beautifies
the neighborhoods it serves.
It brings humanity
to the fore,
and anyone who opposes that
might as well be the devil,
as far as I'm concerned!
[ Applause ]
Thank you, Mr. Cogswell.
Come on! Let's go!
Now I'd love to bring up
my neighbor, Jim Charleston.
I fucked up!
I called him the devil!
That was so stupid!
Somebody's
gonna quote that.
Somebody's
gonna quote that.
God, this is over.
The whole thing is over.
It's over!
God, why did I say that?
I was so sweaty
up there.
Why was it so hot
in there?
It was stupid.
Did you hear me?
I sounded like Nixon.
First off, no one
is gonna quote you.
Yes, they are.
Grant, no one
is gonna quote you
because there were no
political reporters in there.
Trust me, I looked.
And I actually thought
you sounded pretty good.
No, I didn't.
No, don't do that.
Don't lie to me.
Fuck!
And McIver,
what the hell was that?
He sounded like angels were
coming out of his mouth.
He's got
a whole team of guys
that are writing
his speeches for him.
It's...
hey, so that's grant
and that's Phil.
Guys, this is Kevin
and Willis.
Hi.
Hi.
I'm sorry. I'm really
awful with names.
Oh, no sweat.
I'm Wayne.
We met at the rally
in the alley.
We handed out your flyers.
Oh, right.
You had the
che Guevara t-shirt?
Yeah, totally.
Dude, grant,
that speech was just, like,
so fucking awesome, man!
It was just like grant
is the only one
who's willing
to stand up to McIver
and say, like, stop
spewing bullshit.
Bullshit.
McIver is out there
just, like, saying
lies, lies, lies,
and grant's just, like,
shooting it down
with truth,
truth, truth.
Why don't you
spew truth?
And fucking, you know,
hold my hair back
while I spew truth.
That's a good slogan.
You should have seen it.
He was possessed, em.
Applause, everything.
I can't do it.
I can't walk out on him.
I can't.
But you can walk out
on being a writer?
And a weekly is
a great place for you.
Fuck the stranger.
I thought you wanted us
to not look like
college students anymore
with six roommates.
[ Man laughs ]
Sorry.
Sorry, guys.
I have to do
what I believe in.
And grant
is what you believe in?
Cool.
[ Overlapping voices ]
Do you have a second?
I just want to ask you
about grant...
hey, you guys are doing
great, by the way.
[ Overlapping voices ]
Hi, how are you?
Can you help us?
Can we just get
a minute of your time?
No, thank you.
Hi,
do you like politics?
Um, no.
I don't like politics, either.
They're fucking bullshit.
And I'm going over there as
well, so this really works out.
There's this one politician,
though, grant Cogswell.
He's fucking awesome.
He's, like, teaching
all the other politicians
to, like, have a heart
and feel and love.
He's sort of like
the wizard of oz
if he were
all the characters.
Well, what do you
want me to do?
Oh, just sign this,
and I also need
your phone number
and then I can
just let you know
about political rallies,
elections,
and just, like,
nonpolitical endeavors.
Cogswell for president!
Let's get him
in the white house!
Come out with me,
imagining
take a ride
just past that neon sign
[ Shouting and cheering ]
We are fully
tweaked, my friend.
You want some?
It's laced with speed,
'cause, you know, speed.
All right. Sorry.
Guys, I need you
to wake up. Come on.
Come on.
I got to get to work.
Guys, guys,
again, it's work.
All right.
Here, watch your head.
Watch your head.
Thank you, Emily!
[ Urinating ]
[ Snoring ]
1st man on TV: Can you see
if there's a lot
of debris downstairs?
2nd man on TV:
Um, no, no.
Oh, my God!
Woman on TV: Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Whoa, what are you
doing in my room?
What time is it?
I did not see
a plane go in.
I just saw
another plane.
[ Telephone rings ]
Hi.
It's me.
Oh, my God, have you heard?
Yeah, horrible.
What do you know?
Nothing.
Just the same as you.
I'm just watching the news.
Dan baylor
from nbc news...
no, no.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God!
I'm gonna go.
Oh, my God!
Stupid motherfuckers!
Don't they know
we got nukes?
They picked the wrong
motherfucking country.
Where the hell are you?
We're supposed to be talking to
the leash law people right now.
Turn your television on.
I don't have a TV.
You been to my house
800 times. What is this?
Are you coming
to pick me up or not?
You need
to get over here now.
Everyone was running.
People just took off.
Everyone ran.
People ducked into doorways
and people that stopped
looked behind.
[ Crying ]
Good morning.
Thanks for coming.
Hey.
Hey.
I know. Me, too.
Pretty much impossible
to get out of bed
this morning, right?
We got to see those
buildings come down?
And then there's
all those people,
the innocent lives
of families.
I mean, how do we keep
a campaign going?
I don't think we can.
Except I promised
a guy last night
that I'd go give blood.
So I went over
to the red cross
and the line,
the line was...
The line
was around the block.
All us poor stupid people,
'cause who are we gonna
give our blood to?
And then there's the flags.
There's flags everywhere,
and I got to admit,
you know,
I didn't like...
I didn't like the flag.
I just... I mean,
what was it invented for?
For us to salute to
like we're
a bunch of eighth graders
or to go off to war under
like Vietnam
and pearl fucking harbor?
What do we do now,
nuke somebody?
Who are we supposed to kill?
And then...
I don't know, you know...
I start thinking about
this little monorail
and, uh...
And I start to kind of know
exactly what
we're supposed to be doing,
and that's to put one foot
in front of the other
and say no to the terrorists
and say no to the violence
and the destruction of things
and say yes to
the building up of something.
It doesn't matter
what it is.
It doesn't matter.
And when someone
asks you why,
why now?
I don't know.
I mean, I guess you
got to tell them this:
That there's never been
a more important time
to set aside fears
and selfishness
and reach out to somebody.
Just reach out
and participate
in some genuine
life-changing action.
Hey, guys, here.
Does anybody
need a large?
There's
a lot of larges.
What size?
Large. Just put it
over your...
I got this one.
Remember, the election's
in two weeks.
Are you registered to vote?
Great. Grant Cogswell.
He's running for...
with my own eyes,
want to see the trial
The election's
in six days, sir.
And I was just about to sit
in your electric chair
just about to pull your noose
over my head
Hey, tomorrow's
the election.
Go vote for the monorail.
The man in a white coat
coming my way
Have you been
to the polls this morning?
Don't forget
to vote. Hey!
Vote for Cogswell.
One hour till closing.
What do you mean
your TVs don't work?
I already told grant
I was having trouble
with the satellite.
Well, I'll have to get the
results off a laptop then.
You can only use the Internet
for a minute or so
'cause a gotta run credit cards
through that phone line.
Don't set your laptop
on the bar.
Some idiot could spill on it
and I'll get blamed for it.
No problem.
[ Singing ]
Okay, Sandy, we just
need a couple more.
I'll do it during a slow jam.
There's a problem by the door.
What do you mean?
Come by the door!
Stay by that door,
okay?
He's kind of like
a gothic William Wallace.
Like, did you see
that movie Braveheart?
There's, like, the meanest
agent I ever saw.
Yeah.
Right here?
Hi, is there
a problem?
There sure is a problem.
Tommy booked me to dj
my debut set at 9:00.
So what are you doing here?
What the fuck's going on?
It's no big deal.
They're hosting
some election thing.
They'll be out of here
by 9:00!
Whoa, Tommy!
No, we won't.
In elections, the results don't
even come in till 9:00.
There's no way we're gonna
be out of here by 9:00.
I'm booked at 9:00!
I got a flyer that says so!
Okay, I'm sorry, but so
what if you have a flyer?
We have flyers. You
want to see our flyers?
Show him our flyers.
Tommy, what's going on?
If you two idiots cannot
conduct yourselves as gentlemen
in front of my clients,
I'm gonna throw both
your asses out of here!
Now figure this out!
I can't deal
with this bullshit!
You want me
to go talk to him?
Fucking amateurs!
And they got a fucking
pixies cover band playing.
Yeah.
Are you okay?
Total bullshit.
Look, why don't you
just do your thing
while we wait for
the campaign results?
Can we do that?
Look at it this way.
You'll be getting
a new audience, huh?
I'm so not digging
your crowd, man.
I'll get some volunteers
to bang their heads.
They have to do what I say...
It's for school credit.
What about the pixies band?
Fuck the pixies!
Hey, Phil. Phil.
Hi.
Your idea?
Absolutely.
[ Screaming ]
Quite an interesting
night, huh?
Have you seen
the raw data?
I've been
a little preoccupied.
Yeah, well, you ought
to get un-preoccupied.
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Shit!
Hey, Tommy,
can I use the Internet?
I need to get online.
I need to check...
I have to check
the results.
I have to pay the bills!
Who's gonna hand out
on the paraphernalia?
I need you to do this
for me, please.
Please, please, please,
just sit down.
I need you to just keep
clicking on this button.
To open up, we need
to hit the net, okay,
in order to get the results.
Again, again,
just keep...
yeah, yeah, yeah,
like a monkey, I know.
Yes, Phil Campbell here
with the Cogswell campaign.
Just checking, did we get
10% to qualify?
I got something!
I got something!
Never mind.
What does it say?
Okay, um...
Phil, Phil, Phil!
Those people who were trying
to get a circle pit going.
What's a circle pit?
It's like a mosh pit,
but it's circle 'cause
they like to be safer.
And then, like, Willis,
like, punched a guy
and the guy's like
"you don't do that to me"
and then Willis, like, he's
got some dad issues right?
And so then I think
he just, like, reminded him...
okay, Wayne,
Wayne, Wayne.
I'm coming!
I'll deal with it.
It's, like,
did you see rocky?
Imagine if a couple
of those guys were...
I'm coming. Theresa.
The numbers
started coming up,
but I got kicked off.
The line's busy.
[ Modem beeps ]
[ Music plays ]
Stop your music!
It's insane.
What the fuck?
This is how people
listen to music!
You can't listen to it
with just your ears!
You gotta listen with your
whole motherfucking body!
[ Modem beeps ]
[ Screaming ]
Phil! Phil!
Phil!
I don't know, I've been staring
at that screen so long,
I could have it wrong,
but you have to see
this. Right here.
[ Laughs ] Awesome.
Great. Great.
Let's pick 'em up
out there
over the bar, okay?
[ Telephone rings ]
Hi, this is Emily.
Please leave me a message.
Shit.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Don't... leave it.
Hey, hey, hey.
What's going on here?
[ Cheering ]
What's going on?
26%!
I've been looking
all over for you.
If McIver goes below 50,
he'll look weak
in the general election.
What?
Below 50
percentage points
he'll look weak in
the general election.
People will
take you seriously.
People with money.
Grant could win
this thing.
I said I'm gonna go
to that bar,
I'm gonna get
stinking drunk,
and put it on your tab.
28%! 28%!
Holy shit! Holy shit!
[ Telephone rings ]
Hi, this is Emily.
Please leave me a message.
Dammit!
Are you kidding?
This is politics.
Politics, bitches!
This is how you fucking
run a campaign.
I'm fucking writing it
in blood.
Someone give me
a razor
so I can write it
in blood!
Blood of the fucking
innocent!
[ Music plays ]
49%!
[ Cheering ]
Let's hit 50!
God, I love this!
People have been
telling us all week
how politics doesn't
mean anything anymore.
But you just all
proved them wrong!
[ Cheering ]
'Cause it's grassroots
politics, folks. Grassroots!
In all this glorious,
wild, fucking bloom,
breaking it all up.
The concrete
and the asphalt
and the lies!
And the lies!
The lies!
'Cause here we are!
We are in
the general election!
[ Cheering ]
[ Telephone rings ]
Have you seen
the numbers?
Yeah, we're all pretty
stunned here actually.
Here?
I'm at the office.
Well, get the fuck
over here.
You're missing the party.
We did it.
We actually fucking did it!
Em, hey, are you okay?
Em, what's wrong?
Emily?
Nothing. I'm fine.
It's just...
yeah, I know, I know.
It's weird,
but it's amazing, too.
I understand.
Look, where are you?
I'll come to you.
Are you at the office?
No, don't come
to the office.
Hi, here you are.
Way better than the bar.
I can finally
hear myself think.
You got to come over, though,
experience the love.
Well, congratulations.
You've done something
truly amazing here.
Oh, please, you hate grant.
You think I've
unleashed a monster.
Oh, come on.
You like McIver better.
I don't know McIver.
I just know what
I've been through
because of your desire
to throw the guy
out of office.
Have you even
noticed, like,
what's happened
to the house?
Did you know that
on Monday I walked in
and two volunteers were
fucking on the kitchen floor?
Yeah.
[ Laughs ]
Sorry.
I'm not a prude, Phil.
No, I know, I know.
And there's something
wonderful
about this thing that
you've harnessed here.
I mean, it's brilliant,
actually.
Look, it's just
a few more weeks, em, okay?
And then they'll be out
of our house forever.
But what if
you win, Phil?
Have you given that
any thought?
I don't even
want to have
this conversation
with you tonight,
but one of our
staff officers is moving
and she needs someone
to take over her lease.
Phil, I haven't been able
to work at home in weeks
or get any sleep.
And I talked to
our landlady
and she's willing
to prorate my lease
until you can find
someone new,
so I'm not leaving you
in the lurch.
Are you breaking up with me?
Phil, are you
even listening to me?
This new place,
it's on queen Anne.
It's... It's exactly
the neighborhood
you've always
talked about.
It's got great views
of the sound
and, like, real space.
You know, I finally
have some money, so...
yeah, no,
I know you do, Emily,
and you do hate grant
and you do love McIver
and you do think you know
exactly what is right
for me right now, so...
that's not true.
I mean,
I proved you wrong.
I've proved that I'm actually
good at this campaign stuff
and smart as hell and that
is just too much for you.
It's too much for me?
Really?
Is that what it is?
It's too much for me
that you may knock off
a perfectly qualified
and honest representative
because you can, because
he's black and vulnerable?
It's too much for me
that, like, whatever conscience
I know you once had
has seemingly
evaporated?
Have you
even thought about
who you've had to
draw out of the woodwork
to vote against
the black guy?
I'm sorry.
I should have given you
this night.
I'm sorry.
Bye.
Bye.
[ Music plays ]
Tommy? Tommy!
Something strong.
Yeah?
Just the bottle.
If anyone deserves it,
buddy, it's you.
Oh, I'll have to
charge you by the shot,
but I'll put it
on the DJ's tab.
Congratulations.
Standing tall, are we?
Do you know what this is?
The monorail lady's
greatest hits?
Ha ha.
Addresses, phone numbers,
every person in the city
who loves your monorail
and hates that
heavy light rail system.
The ones who vote.
30,000 names.
You win with this.
It took me two years
to compile it.
Just tell me you know
how to use it.
I know how to use it.
Tommy!
Yo? Madam?
Yeah, thanks.
So you're endorsing
grant then?
Are you kidding?
Grant is out of his mind,
but here he is
in the general election
with a real shot at bringing
the monorail to Seattle.
Cheers.
Just don't tell him
where it came from,
unless, of course,
he wins.
Want to dance?
What?
Want to dance with me?
[ Telephone rings ]
[ Ring ]
Hello?
You need to come over
right now to my place.
Just come over
right now.
Grant?
We're in big trouble!
The fucking FBI.
What?
They're here. Just
come over, come over.
[ Knock on door ]
Where were you?
You must be Phil,
the campaign manager.
Yeah, that's right.
What's going on?
Why don't you take a seat?
You're aware that,
in the wake of 9/11,
any breach of security
must be taken seriously,
especially as it pertains
to government buildings.
You know who might
have access
to your campaign
materials,
specifically your
posters and signs?
Yeah, well, I keep some
in my car.
The rest are at my house.
Are there any
unaccounted for?
Uh... Some of the volunteers
may have a few.
Is that a bear suit?
Um... Yes.
Where were you last night?
He was with me.
We were at a bar
celebrating
my win in the primaries.
There was at least
100 witnesses.
What happened?
There was a break-in
at city hall.
We're still reviewing
the security tapes.
Someone entered the office
of councilman McIver
and plastered it
with signs and posters
of Mr. Cogswell here.
[ Laughs ]
You think a class 2 felony
is funny?
No. No, sir.
Call the aclu!
Call them, Phil, now!
Grant, they don't defend
against breaking and entering.
Be honest, Phil.
Do you know who did this?
Wayne.
It has to be Wayne.
Are you sure?
He was the only one
that has the signs.
I put him in charge of
finding places to hang them.
By himself?
Hey, the signage stuff
was never quite legal
to begin with.
Yeah, this is way beyond
sticking signs on a highway!
Where the hell
were you last night?
Ruining my life.
What?
Nothing.
Emily left me.
Are you serious?
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
Then I lost my mind
and...
you got to get your
mind back, all right?
I know you're hurting
right now,
but you got to find a way
to fix this.
Just fix it.
Fix it, Phil!
Do they know it was us?
It was just a prank.
It was supposed to be funny.
Shit! Shit!
Guys, keep
your voices down.
Okay.
And, no, they don't know
it was you,
but they're gonna
find out, okay?
They have a list of everyone
working at the campaign,
so expect a visit
from the FBI.
They're going over the security
tapes right this second.
Look, how smart were you
guys about this? Huh?
Did anybody see you?
We're firing you
from the campaign.
What the fuck, man?
Then they're gonna know that
it was us that did that shit!
We did it for you,
you know what I mean?
Like, we did it for grant,
for the campaign.
It was just a prank,
you know.
It's supposed to be funny.
Well, maybe three weeks
ago it would have been,
but now...
you can't
do this, man!
You can't
fucking do this!
I have to
or you'll take
grant down with you.
That's politics.
We are launching our own
investigation into the matter.
Until then, I cannot
comment any further.
Yes.
No.
I don't know.
I'm sorry.
[ Telephones ring ]
[ Telephone rings ]
Hang it up.
Hang it up!
Let it go.
[ Telephones ringing ]
The posters were
discovered this morning
when councilman
Richard McIver
walked into his office
here at city hall.
Councilman McIver,
a word, please, sir?
Yes, yes, it was
quite unnerving.
I mean, quite a shock.
Bastard! Lying, fucking,
manipulative bastard!
Cogswell, who made it past
yesterday's primary
and into
the general election
for McIver's seat
on the city council,
is known for running
a reckless campaign.
FBI and local officials,
however,
believe that the break-in
was committed...
[ telephone rings ]
[ Ring ]
Actually it's a relief.
That isn't why I called.
But be honest, Phil.
I mean, what if
he had been elected?
He knows nothing of teamwork
or consensus building,
any of the things that
make up a real politician.
It would have blown up
in our faces.
I don't care about
our faces, Clair.
I care about what happened
with us last night.
Yeah.
I wasn't myself, okay?
I have a girlfriend
who I love.
Of course, you do.
I didn't even know what
I was doing last night.
Who does?
You know what?
Forget it.
You know what they say about
bedfellows in politics.
[ Hangs up ]
[ Telephone rings ]
Hello?
Phil?
Phil?
Here's my list
for when I'm elected,
things I'm gonna compromise on
and things I'm gonna fight for.
I'm trying to get a handle
on what I can really do
on the council,
you know, think
pragmatically here.
It's time to face
the reality of this, Phil,
'cause I'm not gonna give up.
I'm gonna grow up.
Okay,
what brought this on?
A dream.
I was at
the top of a building,
a tall, tall building,
and I jumped.
The sidewalk rushing in on me
and I knew that I was dead.
I knew it was the end for me,
and just as I was about
to hit the concrete,
right at that last second,
I look up toward the sky
one last time,
and suddenly...
I was flying.
I mean, it was like
an omen, man,
an omen of hope
and possibility,
and I knew as clear
as the mountains and the sky...
We're gonna win
this thing, Phil,
and we're gonna win it big.
All right, grant,
let's go.
Many are calling your
campaign overly militant.
You have sued the city,
someone on your staff
has vandalized city hall,
and this is all in an effort
to oust the only major African
American representative
we have in Seattle.
Well...
I can't be black,
if that's what
you're asking,
but the real question
should be
can my opponent give you a better Seattle
than I can?
He likes to call me a
single-issue candidate,
but what
he doesn't realize
is that I've carefully
analyzed the situation
and the single best way
to bring real change
to Seattle
is with the monorail.
It will unify us,
rich and poor.
It will diminish
pollution
because it runs
on electricity.
It'll enhance
the neighborhoods
that it sails over
because it's beautiful.
And once that
is finished,
then I'll get back
into what needs to be...
it's all fine and good
to have a dream, grant,
and to attack those of us
who have been
in the trenches for years
trying to do good
by this city.
But we are trying to build
a mass transportation system
and we're trying to do it
in the real world.
Oh, the real world.
That's what you call it?
Where hard-working
poor people
are walled off from
the good jobs downtown
because
they don't have a car?
Where low-income housing
is demolished
so the big boys
can build a life-sized
train set?
Or a highway that runs
over the water
that'll dump enough muck
to sterilize every variation
of salmon for 200 Miles?
No, I'm sorry,
Mr. McIver.
That's not the real
world that I live in.
And if somebody wants
to call me militant
for speaking
the way I do,
then I'll take it
as a compliment.
Mr. McIver?
Frankly, I don't know
how to respond to that.
I have been fighting
body and soul
for this city for 15 years.
I'll stand on my record.
All right,
I'll tell you what.
We're almost out
of time as it is.
I'm gonna give you
each 20 seconds.
What is it that you want the
voters to know, Mr. Cogswell?
I'm a grassroots
activist.
My opponent is running
an insider campaign.
He's got
a political consultant
and a P.R. and a host of lobbyists.
So please come out
and vote.
Vote, vote, vote,
always vote.
And we need volunteers
and we need money
because my opponent is
also out-spending me 10-1
because he's getting the
big $600 contributions
that he voted in to raise
the contribution limit!
Councilman McIver,
you have 20 seconds as well
to wrap this up.
You know, Tate, I...
I love this city.
I've given my life to it.
All right.
Well, it is Richard McIver
and grant Cogswell.
They are running in a race
that is just too close to call
for city council
position number eight.
I'll tell you
what we're gonna do.
We're gonna take
a quick break.
For another position
here on weekday on KUOW.
I blew that motherfucker
out of the water,
out of
the fucking water!
Yeah, you did, grant.
He's so entangled in his own
bureaucratic intestines,
he couldn't even find
his own asshole.
Do you hear what he
said when I told him...
why didn't you
shake his hand?
He's the bad guy, Phil.
You don't shake hands
with the bad guy.
And we're the good guys?
Yeah, of course.
Why? Why? Because
we sued the city,
broke into offices,
spun 9/11 our way,
and now we're gonna beat
the big bad black guy?
Why didn't you
shake his hand?
I want an answer.
I told you my answer.
That's not good enough.
That's not good enough because
what happens if we do win?
Huh? What are you
gonna do then?
You gonna insult your way
into getting a monorail built?
Wearing a polar bear outfit,
threatening to jump off a bridge
if you don't get your way?
Fuck it.
I'm ready for...
Hey, grant, grant, grant.
I've got some great news
from queen Anne.
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait. No! No!
To bring me back
I will lay here quiet
honey, don't leave me
out here all night
no, it ain't right
the way I talked
and walked
and left you far behind
but I saw your face
all day, all night
if we don't talk
I won't mind
'cause it's the only way
excuse me, sir.
You're gonna have to go
through the metal detector.
To get along sometimes
take everything out
of your pockets.
Don't forget the button.
Everything metal.
Here you go.
Now that I'm old
I am not the way
the way I thought
I was
Mr. Campbell?
Yes?
I know it's hard
but you know
we'll make it,
my darling
if we don't talk
I won't mind
'cause it's the only way
to get along sometimes
sir.
I was surprised.
Me, too.
Have a seat.
So what's so important,
other than getting to
the voting booth tomorrow?
Well, the campaign,
we never apologized
for the break-in.
We spun it,
but we didn't say
we were sorry.
I'd say that was politics.
I guess.
Besides,
kids do what they do.
Lord knows, mine did.
Grant should have
shaken your hand.
I'd say that
was politics, too.
And that makes it right?
[ Laughs ]
I don't know.
Maybe sometimes there
are things more important
than simply being
right or wrong.
[ Chuckles ]
How do you feel
about being his proxy?
Yeah, I need
all 30,000 names
re-contacted
before 10 P.M. tonight.
Yes, I'm serious.
Yes, just do it.
All right, guys. Are
we doing this or what?
Where you guys headed?
[ Overlapping conversations ]
All right, guys,
5,000 names left.
We're gonna make this
4,000 names left.
We will make this.
Oh, dear God,
if I got to talk to one more
special interest nut job
wanting a law protecting
their leg hair.
This is grant Cogswell.
Guys, shh! Shh!
Shut up!
Wow.
Yes, thank you, sir.
I'd appreciate that
very much.
I would enjoy that.
I would.
I think some good might
come of that, too, yes.
Yes, for everyone.
Okay.
Who was that?
Grant,
what's going on?
That was McIver.
What?
He's not pressing charges.
He had the city council
write a letter to the FBI.
Wayne's off the hook.
We all are.
[ Cheering ]
He wants to drive me to
the polls tomorrow to vote,
take me out for drinks
afterwards.
Whoa, whoa.
Whoa! Whoa!
In his car?
You're gonna drive
in his car?
No, no!
It's a setup, man!
We can't do this!
Do you know
what's gonna happen
if they
photograph you
coming out of
your opponent's car?
At least
take my bike, man.
We can't contaminate
our message like this
at the very last minute!
Everybody keep working.
Does anybody
have a skateboard?
You're the public
transportation candidate.
Fantastic, guys.
[ Cheering ]
Where you at
in the list?
Awesome.
Great job, you guys!
Will someone get some sandwiches
for these guys, please?
Guys, great job.
Great job, you guys.
Where you at
on your list?
Have you called
all these yet?
Hi. Yes, hi, ma'am.
This is Phil Campbell.
I'm calling
from the campaign
for grant Cogswell
for city council.
Grant... Grant Cogswell.
City... yes.
You did? You did vote?
Hi, this is
Phil Campbell.
I'm calling
from the campaign
for grant Cogswell
for city council.
I just wanted
to make sure
that you were
going to vote today.
That's right. Mm-hmm.
Right, well, we
appreciate your support,
and if you can tell...
he's here. He's here.
Okay, I'm gonna go vote now.
Yeah!
Have you guys all voted?
Vote for me, obviously!
[ Cheering ]
Whoo!
Got you, grant.
Knock 'em dead,
grant.
[ Cheering ]
Hey.
Ready to do this?
[ Knock on door ]
Hi.
Hi.
Oh, wow.
Wow, you even got a puppy.
Don't. Don't.
She's cute.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Just hold her there.
It's a submissive
urination problem.
She walking
you enough, huh?
Sorry.
Here, let me get it.
Yeah, I got it.
So what brings you here?
Could you repeat
the question?
No, I just...
I wanted
to make sure you voted.
Is today the election?
I'm kidding.
[ Laughs ]
It's gonna be close.
Yeah, I heard.
Your polling location
is 223 Roy.
It's a brick building.
You enter on the right side.
Don't vote your conscience.
I didn't.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
[ Laughs ]
You look like
a Bible salesman.
Yeah, right.
Grant Cogswell
for city council!
[ Cheering ]
46%.
Guys! Guys!
Greg Nichols is emerging
clearly as the leader.
Mark center has settled
for third place.
We got new numbers?
We got new numbers?
We're not greedy here,
right?
All we really need
is 50.0000001%, right?
That's all we need!
That's all we need!
That's it.
We're looking now at the
current vote for city council.
At this point, it looks
like all incumbents are ahead,
although lots of precincts
have not put in their report.
That can change
very quickly.
And I think
we have some evidence
that it's gonna
start changing.
We need 3%.
Ready, guys?
3%! 3%! 3%!
3%! 3%! 3%!
[ Cheering ]
The closest race
of the night
is for council
position number eight
in the race between
the incumbent Richard McIver
and challenger
grant Cogswell.
Cogswell! Cogswell!
Cogswell!
[ Cheering ]
People, that's 1%.
You guys are doing this.
This is for Seattle.
This is for the monorail!
Come on, we can do this!
We can change Seattle!
1%! 1%! 1%!
[ Cheering ]
0.2%, 0.2.
0.2! 0.2!
0.2! 0.2!
[ Cheering ]
It's happening! Yes!
Oh, man, we got this
in the bag.
Put it in the bag,
put it in the trunk.
What is it?
What is it?
Drive with this, bitches!
[ Cheering ]
Come on, come on.
Show us what's next.
Come on, come on.
What's the next one?
Theresa, what is it?
Come on,
what's the number?
Still good.
Still in there.
Gonna go back up.
It's okay.
The polls are closing.
It fluctuates.
You just wait
for the next number.
Fluctuation!
It's all right.
It's all right.
That's a lot, Phil.
Just wait for
the next numbers.
Wait for
the next numbers.
What's the next number?
That's fine, right?
Anyway, it's only,
like, 30 votes.
Come on, 30 votes.
30 votes.
30 votes. 30 votes.
30 votes. 30 votes.
And the polls are now
officially closed.
We are now ready to predict
tonight's results.
It does appear that all
of the city council seats
will remain in the hands
of the incumbents.
As for the mayor's race...
no! No!
No, still,
we can do this.
30 votes! 30 votes!
30 votes! 30 votes!
30 votes! Everyone!
30 votes!
They're gonna revise
the numbers.
Like, remember what
happened with bush?
And it went to court
and the whole...
wait, everybody,
wait! Wait!
Hold on!
There'll still
the absentee ballots, right?
Absentee ballots!
Who wasn't absent
from school
at least once,
right?
There's absentee ballots.
They are the smartest voters
out there.
Smartest voters
out there.
We're gonna have
those votes.
It's only 30 votes,
you guys!
We can win this!
We're gonna win this!
Yeah.
And while we wait
to hear the final...
the victory
announcement for us.
I would like to do some of
my grant Cogswell impressions.
Richard McIver,
Richard McIver
has flushed Seattle
down the toilet
and he doesn't
even know it, folks.
And I hate these shoes!
I hate these shoes.
I need better arch support.
Reowr!
We have just begun!
[ Cheering ]
Polar bear. Polar bear.
Reowr!
Reowr!
Aah!
McIver has won
and now we have to contend
with this.
We love you, grant!
48%!
Do you know
what that means?
It means that we're
the trees and the rain.
Seattle!
[ Cheering ]
Seattle!
[ Cheering ]
And we will not sleep,
not today, not yesterday,
not 100 years from now,
because we've woken them up
out of their hibernation!
Reowr!
And that's why,
first and foremost,
I got to thank
one son of a bitch,
one son of a bitch
above all else,
and that's my polar bear
tamer extraordinaire!
Get up here!
[ Cheering ]
Go, go.
Wayne. Wayne.
Yes, and Wayne
for almost going to jail
for this campaign,
and Theresa, our wonderful
office coordinator
who almost swallowed a bear.
And Evan salt.
And Evan salt, who's...
I thought I might
find you here.
Who designed our t-shirts.
Defeat hurts!
I've been thinking
about things.
I think you may
have been right
about, like,
a thing or two.
Michael Hanson?
I've missed you...
Kind of.
You look...
Not bad in a tie.
I love you guys all!
Let's just go crazy!
[ Cheering ]
Reowr!
Marry me.
What?
Hey, I almost got a polar bear
elected to office.
Hey, hey, McIver's on!
McIver's on.
While this has been
a victory for me,
it's been a narrow one.
I just want you to know
that I take that to heart.
The next several months,
we'll be working together.
Would you repeat
the question?
[Fight for love playing]
a long line of cars
and they're trying
to get through
there's no single
explanation
there's
no central destination
but this
long line of cars
is trying
to get through
and this long line
of cars
is all because of you
you don't wonder
where we're going
or remember
where we've been
you've got to keep
this traffic flowing
and accept a little spin
so this long line
of cars
will never have an end
and this long line
of cars
keeps coming
around the bend
Nice bear suit,
buddy!
From the streets
of Sacramento
to the freeways of L.A.
We've got to keep
this fire burning
and accept a little gray
so this long line
of cars
is trying to break free
and this long line
of cars
is all because of me
there's
a long line of cars
long line of cars
[ telephone rings ]
Hello?
It's just not
working out, Phil.
You're not happy
with us
and we're not happy
with you.
I'm sorry, but how do you know
I'm not happy with you?
I read what you write.
It's between the lines.
You're firing me
for subtext?
You're not being
constructive.
I don't find this
to be a very
constructive experience.
Let's not burn
any Bridges, Phil.
Shit!
Aah!
You can show people,
all right?
You said so yourself
a hundred times over,
it's a stepping stone.
To what?
I'm finished, em,
okay?
Fired from the stranger?
You can't get any lower.
Why'd I ever leave
that job in Memphis?
To fall in love with me.
That's why.
My parents
are gonna kill me.
Man on TV: The secret
to our ab slammer
is our ab slammer
patented technique.
Oh, it's amazing.
You mean I only need
to do this video
three days a week
to get the beach body
I've always dreamed of?
Man on TV: Are you forced to
spread butter with a knife
like some sort of caveman?
Are you gonna come to bed?
Introducing sputter.
It's spreadable butter.
Sputter...
[ static ]
The issue of research
involving stem cells
derived from human embryos
is increasingly
the subject...
answering machine:
You've reached 861-4800.
To leave a message for Phil,
press one; For Doug, press two;
for snow wolf, press three;
And for Emily, press four.
[ Beep ]
Hey, asshole, grant here.
Come on, pick up!
Pick up! Pick up!
I know you're sitting
on the couch, right?
Right in the middle of that
stinky couch of yours.
Come on, pick up the phone!
Pick up! Pick up! Pick up!
So you got sacked?
You leaving town?
I should.
Answer my question.
No, no. I've got Emily
and there's...
good, we need to talk.
Meet me at the comet
in 20 minutes,
and don't be late.
[ Music plays ]
They say
it's called the comet
because
one landed here once,
but do comets land, man?
Oh, bravo!
Free at last.
You did it.
No, seriously,
corporate employment
is as dead as
the old world order.
You should thank Nick
for pulling the scales
off your eyes.
The usual.
Why weren't you at
the cha-cha last night?
Dude, the murder city devils
destroyed it without...
murder city devils?
Are they local?
Oh, my God, are you
serious right now?
Fuck me, man!
What do you listen to,
Celine Dion?
No wonder they sacked you.
Hey, where's his tomato?
Come on.
You know what?
It's fine, all right?
It's fine
because, because
I'm coming to a really,
really big decision
and I want you to be
the first to hear about it.
The city council primaries?
I'm gonna run.
I'm serious.
It's because
of this guy, huh?
Richard McIver.
He has got to go down.
He's awful,
and no one with, like,
three working brain cells
is stepping up to run
against him, so I'm going to.
[ Scoffs ]
Oh, you think this is funny?
What?
All right.
No, I got to show you
a thing or two.
Grant? Grant!
Hey! Come on.
I hate that, though.
There are never any
parking meters ever!
Gonna get a ticket,
yeah, yep, thanks to
McIver and his henchmen.
And how long
have you harbored
this grudge for the guy?
Since forever.
But you've never
mentioned it?
I was waiting for things
to hit critical mass.
Look, there it is!
There. There it is.
That?
Yeah, that.
The key my electoral
strategy, my victory.
All right, great.
Can we go home now?
A promise from the 1960s,
Phil, from the world's fair.
From before we were born.
A super ass modern
mass transportation system
that was to have spread
its wings all over the city,
barely touching
the neighborhoods
it was to pass over.
And you know why?
Look at the base.
Smaller than a taco stand.
But there's only one stop
in the middle
of nowhere downtown.
Two idiot Miles long
to a really useful
space needle.
But it's electric
and elegant as shit.
A miraculous machine
and, listen, silent, right?
Like the breeze,
like magic.
But most important
of all, it's cheap.
And you want to know
how many times McIver
and his fucking fuck
goons have voted it down
so they could build
whatever the shit
they wanted?
Stealing millions
off all those good folk
living right down there.
You know
how many times?
A zillion, to make money
from building those, see?
Highways that have
bisected and trisected
and now they want
to build on the ground,
right in the middle
of all our traffic jams,
a heavy fucking
tank train system.
Exactly, which they call
light rail,
and, of course, they're
lying about that, too.
They steal and cheat
and over here, huh?
They're buying up land
from there to there.
Come on, Phil.
To there... And, no.
And all the way,
all the way over here.
Phil, they're just cutting
our city into pieces!
And even worse,
oh, look at her.
Look at her, Phil.
She's so beautiful.
This is what we need
to save right here!
And you want to know the
first thing that I do
when I get elected?
I'm gonna walk
into the city chambers
in my beautiful
white fur.
I will not
be made a victim
of your cowardly ways!
Never!
Save the polar caps!
Build the monorail!
Save the planet,
you fucks!
Reowr!
Doesn't it matter to you
that you have no
experience in politics?
I'm a journalist.
People respect that.
You're an unemployed
music critic.
People
know the difference.
All right, you know what?
I'm running in the primaries
and I'm gonna get myself
into that general election
and then I'm gonna win
this thing.
And you know
what else, Phil?
You're gonna do it with me.
It's the reason
you got fired.
It's destiny. It is.
Have you wondered
exactly when it was
that you first
lost your mind?
[ Laughs ]
What's so funny?
Have you even considered
McIver is black?
And?
And he's, like, the only
black city councilman.
Okay, so what?
What, are we practicing
reverse racism now?
No, I'm practicing
my power of thinking.
I mean, grant is white
and he's unqualified.
He's bombastic.
It's not funny,
it's embarrassing.
I mean, grant's gonna get
laughed out of the primaries
and so are you.
Why are you
even doing this?
Does it matter?
Okay, so you got fired
so now you can just say
fuck you to everyone?
You're smart.
Thanks, dad.
I don't tell you
that enough.
I am gonna run
Grant Cogswell's
city council campaign!
1, 2, 3, Cogswell.
For city council!
Shit, what he said, dude.
What did he say?
[ Cheering ]
[ Laughs ]
You're
my campaign manager.
You're the one who sent
out all those emails.
Where's at least
somebody?
You were supposed
to follow up with...
I hate this chair.
It hurts my back.
Why would you
have chairs like this
in your coffee shop?
It's not my coffee shop.
Fix this, Phil!
Fix it!
Wow!
Hey!
Hey! You think you
look like a politician
when you storm off
like that?
I mean, waitresses, they
vote, too, you know.
I hate these shoes!
I need better
arch supports!
[ Horns honk ]
Look at this.
People whine and bitch
about traffic all day long,
but do they think
of a way out? Huh?
You screw mass transit
for the working class
and you screw it
for the entire system!
The suckage trickles up!
McIver's flushing
Seattle down the toilet
and he doesn't
even know it!
Hey! Doesn't
this suck, huh?
Doesn't it?
Doesn't it suck?
Look at where you're
sitting right now, huh?
Don't make me
get out there!
Look at what we've done
to each other!
Get out of here, jerk!
Doesn't this awful traffic
bug you into action? Huh?
[ Woman screams ]
Would you like to support
my campaign
for stalled mass transit?
Doesn't this suck?
Get out of here,
you lunatic!
Grant!
The monorail, your monorail.
We can have it
across the city
in five years, if even that.
And it'll pay for itself
in less than
a Seattle heartbeat.
And yet McIver
wants a debacle
that'll cost a fortune.
Why does he want this?
For the greenbacks,
my fine feathered friends,
to plump
his already pot-belly,
money-hungry
construction pimps
that fill up
his campaign coffer!
They call it light rail.
What does that even mean,
light rail?
My butt hole!
It's crazy lies,
lies on top of lies.
So he'll continue
to rape this city,
but I love this place.
I love it.
I love it so much
that I've carved
its seal onto my arm.
So give me your endorsement.
Rise above it all!
We can't offer you
our endorsement.
But nobody cares about your
monorail more than I do.
In fact, I'm the
only one who showed up
to this little function
thing of yours today.
That's got to mean
something.
Which is why we can't risk
what little influence we have
on fringe politics.
Fringe politics.
You mean, politics
that don't compromise?
That speak the truth,
which is the only way
to beat them, Clair.
Not by playing into their
conniving little fingers
like lambs
to the slaughter.
Please help us.
We can do...
I can do this!
Otherwise, you guys are just
another fucking social club
on a list
sucking each other off!
All right, all right.
Listen, can I just...
can we just use
your name in public?
[ Laughs ]
Absolutely not.
God! Mmm!
What a fucking
bitch!
You know, grant,
you talk a lot of shit.
What we need to do
is embrace our position.
We're the little guys.
People like the little guys.
It's more satisfying
when they win.
Then why do incumbents
always get re-elected?
Because they stack
the cards in their favor!
No, they rig
the fucking system, man!
They choose how much money
you can spend,
what the jurisdictions are.
They even got those little
voter pamphlets rigged.
What are you
talking about?
The voter pamphlets,
you know, the things that
they send out in the election,
you know, or polls and shit.
They even got the little
government stamp on it
and everything.
Only in Seattle,
you can't say anything
about the incumbent in it.
You can't even mention
the incumbent's name.
It's the law.
It's a joke.
You sure about this?
That's why I verbalized it.
We're being gagged here, man.
You know, when
I worked in Memphis,
it was for
this alt weekly
that let me dig into
all kinds of stuff.
Man, that city
was so messed up.
Poverty, corruption,
cronyism.
The cops were a bunch
of racist Hicks
still into Jim crow,
but no one cared.
You know what I did?
My back hurts.
Can we just go?
I sued them.
I took them to court
and I won, twice.
You got a coat? A tie?
Seattle itself
has demonstrated
a targeted
and intentional bias
toward limiting the
political effectiveness
of candidates who wish
to challenge incumbents.
Here's
a voter pamphlet
from last year's city council
election in San Francisco.
You'll notice a place
for candidates
to put pros and cons,
reasons why they think
they should be elected
and why the incumbent
totally fricking sucks.
Same with Los Angeles
and New York.
And even Dallas
fucking Texas!
I mean, but Seattle,
west coast liberal
progressive Seattle,
10 years ago, the Seattle city
council passed an ordinance
forbidding candidates from
mentioning their opponents
in their voter pamphlet
statements.
It's total bullshit!
Just bullshit!
They've rigged the whole
tottering system
to stay in power!
Well, I'm sure you're
making a valid point
and we'll give it...
it's not just that!
It's the incumbent
can say
whatever the hell
he wants!
He can brag,
he can manipulate,
lie about his resume,
his voting record.
Even fuck his purple
pet parakeet
and grill it in the
microwave for breakfast.
But can a challenger target
these inane insanities?
Can he expose it
in the one document that
most voters actually read? No!
Fuck. Sorry.
Now, correct us
if we're wrong here,
but isn't restricting
our ability
to comment upon matters
of public record
a violation
of the first amendment?
Some would say
you're using this lawsuit
to take advantage
of the free media.
Well, it's true
that every candidate
who's challenging
an incumbent
wants as much exposure
as possible.
He's on TV!
It's grant!
It's too important for
the people to be exposed
to all ideas, brilliant,
constructive, idiotic.
Exposure, it's an issue
that affects every candidate
in every part of the city.
Get out!
It's that grant guy.
You got to be
kidding me.
This is really important in
every position, not just me.
No way!
For those of you
that don't know,
grant
is something different.
Different is good, right?
So...
Grant Cogswell.
[ Applause ]
Mass transit
is a social justice issue.
When you hear McIver pimping
his light rail plan,
the sound you really hear
is that of a giant toilet
flushing away
the city's under-class.
I mean, he'll never build
this so-called light rail
'cause it's just
a giant ploy.
A train five times
the size of any trolley?
It'll never stop even close
to fast enough.
It'll run over children
and cats and dogs
until they have to put up
heavy fences and walls,
and there goes
the neighborhood, folks.
While McIver and his buddies
will be living
in fancy mansions,
driven into the city
by limos,
and we'll all be stuck
in a hell of noise,
litter, and danger.
[ Applause ]
I'll take any questions,
if there are any.
My name's grant Cogswell,
so if you have
any questions...
we need contributions
and, you know,
we need volunteers.
We can't do this on our own,
so, if...
You know, anything.
This is grassroots, folks.
These guys are the underdogs
because everything
they're saying
is not packaged or scripted
or paid for by big business.
Now, here's a guy
who actually believes
in something.
When's the last time you saw
a politician do that?
So let's give him
every penny we got.
Volunteer.
Let's see if this crazy
son of a bitch
can actually get some good done
in this city for once, right?
[ Cheers and applause ]
Well, I think
you've actually
made a smart move
with this thing,
no matter what people
are saying.
What exactly
are people saying?
You got fired,
pissed off your boss,
now you got
a credibility problem.
But if you can get a
no-name clown like grant
decent numbers
in the primary,
there are people
who'll pay for that.
Really?
I've been covering
city council elections
in the weekly
for, like, forever,
so even if you think all
this sounds like bullshit...
Lunch is on you,
by the way.
Lunch, right.
How do we get
decent numbers?
Stay above the fray.
Ignore
the other candidates.
Fire only at McIver.
If you're running grant
as a populist,
make him look like one.
Have a crowd
of volunteers around him
wherever he goes,
an entourage.
Right, the entourage
strategy.
And never look like you
don't have an answer.
If someone asks you
something that stumps you,
ask him to repeat
the question.
It buys you time
to think
without making you
look like W.
Would you repeat
the question?
McIver's smart, he's
witty, he's friendly,
but he's not gonna have
a lot of volunteers.
He'll have money,
but you won't,
so you got
to start aggressive.
Pitch grant
to all the papers.
Strange if you don't.
It's unusual for Mr. Fredericks
to see someone
who drops by unannounced.
But he won't return
my calls.
I can give you
his voice mail.
Look, all I can offer you
is my silent support.
Simply isn't conducive
to my own platform.
Okay.
How do you plan
to support us silently?
Woman: We're grateful
to be aware
of your candidate's
position,
but the king county
labor council
has already pledged
its support to Mr. McIver.
Can you explain to me
why you would do that?
McIver's record on labor
is only passable at best.
Sorry. [ Hangs up ]
Thank you.
My name's Phil Campbell
and grant's running
against Richard McIver.
Your name's
Phil Campbell?
Afraid so.
Don't you write
for the stranger?
Yeah, wrote, past tense.
You heard of the Aaron
Roberts shooting, right?
This is the guy
who dug up all that dirt
on the police
oversight committee.
I could tell you about it,
but then you might quote me.
What are these?
I'm running grant Cogswell's
campaign for city council.
Grant Cogswell?
Isn't he that music critic
who's suing the city?
He's got quite a temper,
doesn't he?
He's a very passionate guy.
Well, if circumstances
should change,
I've got a reporter
heading out
on maternity leave
in a couple of weeks.
That's amazing!
When do you start?
Could you repeat
the question?
What?
I'm stalling.
It's a political trick,
buying time by making the
other person ask you again.
Okay.
When do you start?
Well, I have to
tell grant first,
but the guy gave me
till Tuesday
to make
a final decision.
So...
It is gonna kill grant.
What are you talking about?
I mean,
grant's psychotic, Phil,
and you're playing into
his delusions of grandeur
by pretending with him that
he's running for office,
and that's
what's killing grant.
I understand.
I know, you're right.
Of course,
I've had my fun.
Well, I know this is hard.
No, it's okay.
First thing tomorrow,
it's done.
It's done.
I'm not nervous.
I didn't say you were.
You're implying if I
ask you how I'm doing.
I don't appreciate that kind
of affront to my confidence.
It makes me nervous.
Look at my hands.
McIver's gonna
be here today.
It's part of his job.
He must go down.
He must go down!
You're gonna stay on point,
though, right?
Right?
Only local issues,
no big talk about
multinationals and sweatshops.
Leave me alone!
The greed
of those at the top
has always affected the lives
of those less fortunate,
those less willing
to steal with impunity,
and that's why
I want to ensure
that our police
and firefighters
have better
training equipment.
We need to keep safe
those that keep us safe.
Who did you vote
for president in 2000?
I did not vote
for George Bush.
That's not answering
the question.
That's Pernell Alden,
fool of all fools.
He once tried
to punch me out.
I gave it to him,
though.
I'm sure you did.
He's nine points
ahead of you in the polls.
That's him!
That's the asshole!
He's totally
oblivious,
just like his
leadership style.
And next on our list is an
incumbent, Richard McIver.
[ Applause ]
Beth.
Good evening.
How's everyone?
Good looking group, you are.
This primary brings us
into a new millennium.
Now, whether
that's meaningful
or just another date
on the calendar
depends on what we want
Seattle to be,
upon our ability to choose
our future willfully
and with our eyes open.
Now, how do we prepare
for this?
I have had the privilege
of being in position
on city council
to watch as our perspective
on the future
has changed over the years,
and changed radically.
Am I right, guys?
I mean, not to mention
the forces that are at play
whenever we try to peer
into that future,
forces that
I grapple with daily
as a city council member.
You know, he doesn't
seem like an asshole.
That's what
assholes do.
They get you by not
seeming like assholes.
Decisions we make today will
have long-lasting impact.
Did you know he'd be
this good at it?
Actually,
this is the first time
I've seen him up close.
By expanding state route 520
over lake Washington.
How far
do we push development
at the expense
of our own environment?
Do we want to be a city
of automobiles, huh?
Or are we willing to make
the necessary sacrifices
to bring about
true mass transportation?
God, he's so
full of shit!
Look, there's the bitch.
They're all here.
McIver: These are
difficult choices,
but with choices
comes opportunity, okay?
Thank you for listening.
Oh, oh, and I would
appreciate your vote.
[ Laughs ]
So I'd like to see you all
at the polls, all right?
Thank you so much.
Thank you for your time.
[ Applause ]
The 36th district
will now hear a statement
from candidate
grant Cogswell.
[ Scattered applause ]
This is gonna be
interesting.
Hi. My name's
grant Cogswell.
I'll be running
in the primaries
for city council position
number eight,
Mr. McIver's seat.
Jesus Christ, with choice
comes opportunity?
What opportunity?
To expand the 520 bridge?
We can't do it!
I grew up in the area where
the I-90 freeway was expanded
and look at it.
It's a mess of dirt, grime,
litter, pollution.
It's criminal...
And you know it.
McIver talks about wanting
to provide equal opportunity
for all of Seattle.
What the hell
is he talking about
when he supports
ideas like these?
He's totally in bed with
the construction bozos,
which is why he's pushing
for this so-called light rail
which, by the way, is just
brave new world double-speak
for a 100-ton
heavy rail catastrophe!
Sorry. I just...
Mass transit is a social
justice issue, folks.
You provide a safe,
reliable way
for someone to get
from home to work,
and what you're really doing
is providing
a safe, reliable way
for that person
to earn a living,
to connect with others,
to live a life of community
that includes all of us,
not just the rich!
McIver talks about
the committee
to approve the committee
that approves
other committees.
This is just
off the charts awful!
You're one
of those committees!
Extend the monorail.
Elegant and inexpensive.
The monorail beautifies
the neighborhoods it serves.
It brings humanity
to the fore,
and anyone who opposes that
might as well be the devil,
as far as I'm concerned!
[ Applause ]
Thank you, Mr. Cogswell.
Come on! Let's go!
Now I'd love to bring up
my neighbor, Jim Charleston.
I fucked up!
I called him the devil!
That was so stupid!
Somebody's
gonna quote that.
Somebody's
gonna quote that.
God, this is over.
The whole thing is over.
It's over!
God, why did I say that?
I was so sweaty
up there.
Why was it so hot
in there?
It was stupid.
Did you hear me?
I sounded like Nixon.
First off, no one
is gonna quote you.
Yes, they are.
Grant, no one
is gonna quote you
because there were no
political reporters in there.
Trust me, I looked.
And I actually thought
you sounded pretty good.
No, I didn't.
No, don't do that.
Don't lie to me.
Fuck!
And McIver,
what the hell was that?
He sounded like angels were
coming out of his mouth.
He's got
a whole team of guys
that are writing
his speeches for him.
It's...
hey, so that's grant
and that's Phil.
Guys, this is Kevin
and Willis.
Hi.
Hi.
I'm sorry. I'm really
awful with names.
Oh, no sweat.
I'm Wayne.
We met at the rally
in the alley.
We handed out your flyers.
Oh, right.
You had the
che Guevara t-shirt?
Yeah, totally.
Dude, grant,
that speech was just, like,
so fucking awesome, man!
It was just like grant
is the only one
who's willing
to stand up to McIver
and say, like, stop
spewing bullshit.
Bullshit.
McIver is out there
just, like, saying
lies, lies, lies,
and grant's just, like,
shooting it down
with truth,
truth, truth.
Why don't you
spew truth?
And fucking, you know,
hold my hair back
while I spew truth.
That's a good slogan.
You should have seen it.
He was possessed, em.
Applause, everything.
I can't do it.
I can't walk out on him.
I can't.
But you can walk out
on being a writer?
And a weekly is
a great place for you.
Fuck the stranger.
I thought you wanted us
to not look like
college students anymore
with six roommates.
[ Man laughs ]
Sorry.
Sorry, guys.
I have to do
what I believe in.
And grant
is what you believe in?
Cool.
[ Overlapping voices ]
Do you have a second?
I just want to ask you
about grant...
hey, you guys are doing
great, by the way.
[ Overlapping voices ]
Hi, how are you?
Can you help us?
Can we just get
a minute of your time?
No, thank you.
Hi,
do you like politics?
Um, no.
I don't like politics, either.
They're fucking bullshit.
And I'm going over there as
well, so this really works out.
There's this one politician,
though, grant Cogswell.
He's fucking awesome.
He's, like, teaching
all the other politicians
to, like, have a heart
and feel and love.
He's sort of like
the wizard of oz
if he were
all the characters.
Well, what do you
want me to do?
Oh, just sign this,
and I also need
your phone number
and then I can
just let you know
about political rallies,
elections,
and just, like,
nonpolitical endeavors.
Cogswell for president!
Let's get him
in the white house!
Come out with me,
imagining
take a ride
just past that neon sign
[ Shouting and cheering ]
We are fully
tweaked, my friend.
You want some?
It's laced with speed,
'cause, you know, speed.
All right. Sorry.
Guys, I need you
to wake up. Come on.
Come on.
I got to get to work.
Guys, guys,
again, it's work.
All right.
Here, watch your head.
Watch your head.
Thank you, Emily!
[ Urinating ]
[ Snoring ]
1st man on TV: Can you see
if there's a lot
of debris downstairs?
2nd man on TV:
Um, no, no.
Oh, my God!
Woman on TV: Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Whoa, what are you
doing in my room?
What time is it?
I did not see
a plane go in.
I just saw
another plane.
[ Telephone rings ]
Hi.
It's me.
Oh, my God, have you heard?
Yeah, horrible.
What do you know?
Nothing.
Just the same as you.
I'm just watching the news.
Dan baylor
from nbc news...
no, no.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God!
I'm gonna go.
Oh, my God!
Stupid motherfuckers!
Don't they know
we got nukes?
They picked the wrong
motherfucking country.
Where the hell are you?
We're supposed to be talking to
the leash law people right now.
Turn your television on.
I don't have a TV.
You been to my house
800 times. What is this?
Are you coming
to pick me up or not?
You need
to get over here now.
Everyone was running.
People just took off.
Everyone ran.
People ducked into doorways
and people that stopped
looked behind.
[ Crying ]
Good morning.
Thanks for coming.
Hey.
Hey.
I know. Me, too.
Pretty much impossible
to get out of bed
this morning, right?
We got to see those
buildings come down?
And then there's
all those people,
the innocent lives
of families.
I mean, how do we keep
a campaign going?
I don't think we can.
Except I promised
a guy last night
that I'd go give blood.
So I went over
to the red cross
and the line,
the line was...
The line
was around the block.
All us poor stupid people,
'cause who are we gonna
give our blood to?
And then there's the flags.
There's flags everywhere,
and I got to admit,
you know,
I didn't like...
I didn't like the flag.
I just... I mean,
what was it invented for?
For us to salute to
like we're
a bunch of eighth graders
or to go off to war under
like Vietnam
and pearl fucking harbor?
What do we do now,
nuke somebody?
Who are we supposed to kill?
And then...
I don't know, you know...
I start thinking about
this little monorail
and, uh...
And I start to kind of know
exactly what
we're supposed to be doing,
and that's to put one foot
in front of the other
and say no to the terrorists
and say no to the violence
and the destruction of things
and say yes to
the building up of something.
It doesn't matter
what it is.
It doesn't matter.
And when someone
asks you why,
why now?
I don't know.
I mean, I guess you
got to tell them this:
That there's never been
a more important time
to set aside fears
and selfishness
and reach out to somebody.
Just reach out
and participate
in some genuine
life-changing action.
Hey, guys, here.
Does anybody
need a large?
There's
a lot of larges.
What size?
Large. Just put it
over your...
I got this one.
Remember, the election's
in two weeks.
Are you registered to vote?
Great. Grant Cogswell.
He's running for...
with my own eyes,
want to see the trial
The election's
in six days, sir.
And I was just about to sit
in your electric chair
just about to pull your noose
over my head
Hey, tomorrow's
the election.
Go vote for the monorail.
The man in a white coat
coming my way
Have you been
to the polls this morning?
Don't forget
to vote. Hey!
Vote for Cogswell.
One hour till closing.
What do you mean
your TVs don't work?
I already told grant
I was having trouble
with the satellite.
Well, I'll have to get the
results off a laptop then.
You can only use the Internet
for a minute or so
'cause a gotta run credit cards
through that phone line.
Don't set your laptop
on the bar.
Some idiot could spill on it
and I'll get blamed for it.
No problem.
[ Singing ]
Okay, Sandy, we just
need a couple more.
I'll do it during a slow jam.
There's a problem by the door.
What do you mean?
Come by the door!
Stay by that door,
okay?
He's kind of like
a gothic William Wallace.
Like, did you see
that movie Braveheart?
There's, like, the meanest
agent I ever saw.
Yeah.
Right here?
Hi, is there
a problem?
There sure is a problem.
Tommy booked me to dj
my debut set at 9:00.
So what are you doing here?
What the fuck's going on?
It's no big deal.
They're hosting
some election thing.
They'll be out of here
by 9:00!
Whoa, Tommy!
No, we won't.
In elections, the results don't
even come in till 9:00.
There's no way we're gonna
be out of here by 9:00.
I'm booked at 9:00!
I got a flyer that says so!
Okay, I'm sorry, but so
what if you have a flyer?
We have flyers. You
want to see our flyers?
Show him our flyers.
Tommy, what's going on?
If you two idiots cannot
conduct yourselves as gentlemen
in front of my clients,
I'm gonna throw both
your asses out of here!
Now figure this out!
I can't deal
with this bullshit!
You want me
to go talk to him?
Fucking amateurs!
And they got a fucking
pixies cover band playing.
Yeah.
Are you okay?
Total bullshit.
Look, why don't you
just do your thing
while we wait for
the campaign results?
Can we do that?
Look at it this way.
You'll be getting
a new audience, huh?
I'm so not digging
your crowd, man.
I'll get some volunteers
to bang their heads.
They have to do what I say...
It's for school credit.
What about the pixies band?
Fuck the pixies!
Hey, Phil. Phil.
Hi.
Your idea?
Absolutely.
[ Screaming ]
Quite an interesting
night, huh?
Have you seen
the raw data?
I've been
a little preoccupied.
Yeah, well, you ought
to get un-preoccupied.
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Shit!
Hey, Tommy,
can I use the Internet?
I need to get online.
I need to check...
I have to check
the results.
I have to pay the bills!
Who's gonna hand out
on the paraphernalia?
I need you to do this
for me, please.
Please, please, please,
just sit down.
I need you to just keep
clicking on this button.
To open up, we need
to hit the net, okay,
in order to get the results.
Again, again,
just keep...
yeah, yeah, yeah,
like a monkey, I know.
Yes, Phil Campbell here
with the Cogswell campaign.
Just checking, did we get
10% to qualify?
I got something!
I got something!
Never mind.
What does it say?
Okay, um...
Phil, Phil, Phil!
Those people who were trying
to get a circle pit going.
What's a circle pit?
It's like a mosh pit,
but it's circle 'cause
they like to be safer.
And then, like, Willis,
like, punched a guy
and the guy's like
"you don't do that to me"
and then Willis, like, he's
got some dad issues right?
And so then I think
he just, like, reminded him...
okay, Wayne,
Wayne, Wayne.
I'm coming!
I'll deal with it.
It's, like,
did you see rocky?
Imagine if a couple
of those guys were...
I'm coming. Theresa.
The numbers
started coming up,
but I got kicked off.
The line's busy.
[ Modem beeps ]
[ Music plays ]
Stop your music!
It's insane.
What the fuck?
This is how people
listen to music!
You can't listen to it
with just your ears!
You gotta listen with your
whole motherfucking body!
[ Modem beeps ]
[ Screaming ]
Phil! Phil!
Phil!
I don't know, I've been staring
at that screen so long,
I could have it wrong,
but you have to see
this. Right here.
[ Laughs ] Awesome.
Great. Great.
Let's pick 'em up
out there
over the bar, okay?
[ Telephone rings ]
Hi, this is Emily.
Please leave me a message.
Shit.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Don't... leave it.
Hey, hey, hey.
What's going on here?
[ Cheering ]
What's going on?
26%!
I've been looking
all over for you.
If McIver goes below 50,
he'll look weak
in the general election.
What?
Below 50
percentage points
he'll look weak in
the general election.
People will
take you seriously.
People with money.
Grant could win
this thing.
I said I'm gonna go
to that bar,
I'm gonna get
stinking drunk,
and put it on your tab.
28%! 28%!
Holy shit! Holy shit!
[ Telephone rings ]
Hi, this is Emily.
Please leave me a message.
Dammit!
Are you kidding?
This is politics.
Politics, bitches!
This is how you fucking
run a campaign.
I'm fucking writing it
in blood.
Someone give me
a razor
so I can write it
in blood!
Blood of the fucking
innocent!
[ Music plays ]
49%!
[ Cheering ]
Let's hit 50!
God, I love this!
People have been
telling us all week
how politics doesn't
mean anything anymore.
But you just all
proved them wrong!
[ Cheering ]
'Cause it's grassroots
politics, folks. Grassroots!
In all this glorious,
wild, fucking bloom,
breaking it all up.
The concrete
and the asphalt
and the lies!
And the lies!
The lies!
'Cause here we are!
We are in
the general election!
[ Cheering ]
[ Telephone rings ]
Have you seen
the numbers?
Yeah, we're all pretty
stunned here actually.
Here?
I'm at the office.
Well, get the fuck
over here.
You're missing the party.
We did it.
We actually fucking did it!
Em, hey, are you okay?
Em, what's wrong?
Emily?
Nothing. I'm fine.
It's just...
yeah, I know, I know.
It's weird,
but it's amazing, too.
I understand.
Look, where are you?
I'll come to you.
Are you at the office?
No, don't come
to the office.
Hi, here you are.
Way better than the bar.
I can finally
hear myself think.
You got to come over, though,
experience the love.
Well, congratulations.
You've done something
truly amazing here.
Oh, please, you hate grant.
You think I've
unleashed a monster.
Oh, come on.
You like McIver better.
I don't know McIver.
I just know what
I've been through
because of your desire
to throw the guy
out of office.
Have you even
noticed, like,
what's happened
to the house?
Did you know that
on Monday I walked in
and two volunteers were
fucking on the kitchen floor?
Yeah.
[ Laughs ]
Sorry.
I'm not a prude, Phil.
No, I know, I know.
And there's something
wonderful
about this thing that
you've harnessed here.
I mean, it's brilliant,
actually.
Look, it's just
a few more weeks, em, okay?
And then they'll be out
of our house forever.
But what if
you win, Phil?
Have you given that
any thought?
I don't even
want to have
this conversation
with you tonight,
but one of our
staff officers is moving
and she needs someone
to take over her lease.
Phil, I haven't been able
to work at home in weeks
or get any sleep.
And I talked to
our landlady
and she's willing
to prorate my lease
until you can find
someone new,
so I'm not leaving you
in the lurch.
Are you breaking up with me?
Phil, are you
even listening to me?
This new place,
it's on queen Anne.
It's... It's exactly
the neighborhood
you've always
talked about.
It's got great views
of the sound
and, like, real space.
You know, I finally
have some money, so...
yeah, no,
I know you do, Emily,
and you do hate grant
and you do love McIver
and you do think you know
exactly what is right
for me right now, so...
that's not true.
I mean,
I proved you wrong.
I've proved that I'm actually
good at this campaign stuff
and smart as hell and that
is just too much for you.
It's too much for me?
Really?
Is that what it is?
It's too much for me
that you may knock off
a perfectly qualified
and honest representative
because you can, because
he's black and vulnerable?
It's too much for me
that, like, whatever conscience
I know you once had
has seemingly
evaporated?
Have you
even thought about
who you've had to
draw out of the woodwork
to vote against
the black guy?
I'm sorry.
I should have given you
this night.
I'm sorry.
Bye.
Bye.
[ Music plays ]
Tommy? Tommy!
Something strong.
Yeah?
Just the bottle.
If anyone deserves it,
buddy, it's you.
Oh, I'll have to
charge you by the shot,
but I'll put it
on the DJ's tab.
Congratulations.
Standing tall, are we?
Do you know what this is?
The monorail lady's
greatest hits?
Ha ha.
Addresses, phone numbers,
every person in the city
who loves your monorail
and hates that
heavy light rail system.
The ones who vote.
30,000 names.
You win with this.
It took me two years
to compile it.
Just tell me you know
how to use it.
I know how to use it.
Tommy!
Yo? Madam?
Yeah, thanks.
So you're endorsing
grant then?
Are you kidding?
Grant is out of his mind,
but here he is
in the general election
with a real shot at bringing
the monorail to Seattle.
Cheers.
Just don't tell him
where it came from,
unless, of course,
he wins.
Want to dance?
What?
Want to dance with me?
[ Telephone rings ]
[ Ring ]
Hello?
You need to come over
right now to my place.
Just come over
right now.
Grant?
We're in big trouble!
The fucking FBI.
What?
They're here. Just
come over, come over.
[ Knock on door ]
Where were you?
You must be Phil,
the campaign manager.
Yeah, that's right.
What's going on?
Why don't you take a seat?
You're aware that,
in the wake of 9/11,
any breach of security
must be taken seriously,
especially as it pertains
to government buildings.
You know who might
have access
to your campaign
materials,
specifically your
posters and signs?
Yeah, well, I keep some
in my car.
The rest are at my house.
Are there any
unaccounted for?
Uh... Some of the volunteers
may have a few.
Is that a bear suit?
Um... Yes.
Where were you last night?
He was with me.
We were at a bar
celebrating
my win in the primaries.
There was at least
100 witnesses.
What happened?
There was a break-in
at city hall.
We're still reviewing
the security tapes.
Someone entered the office
of councilman McIver
and plastered it
with signs and posters
of Mr. Cogswell here.
[ Laughs ]
You think a class 2 felony
is funny?
No. No, sir.
Call the aclu!
Call them, Phil, now!
Grant, they don't defend
against breaking and entering.
Be honest, Phil.
Do you know who did this?
Wayne.
It has to be Wayne.
Are you sure?
He was the only one
that has the signs.
I put him in charge of
finding places to hang them.
By himself?
Hey, the signage stuff
was never quite legal
to begin with.
Yeah, this is way beyond
sticking signs on a highway!
Where the hell
were you last night?
Ruining my life.
What?
Nothing.
Emily left me.
Are you serious?
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
Then I lost my mind
and...
you got to get your
mind back, all right?
I know you're hurting
right now,
but you got to find a way
to fix this.
Just fix it.
Fix it, Phil!
Do they know it was us?
It was just a prank.
It was supposed to be funny.
Shit! Shit!
Guys, keep
your voices down.
Okay.
And, no, they don't know
it was you,
but they're gonna
find out, okay?
They have a list of everyone
working at the campaign,
so expect a visit
from the FBI.
They're going over the security
tapes right this second.
Look, how smart were you
guys about this? Huh?
Did anybody see you?
We're firing you
from the campaign.
What the fuck, man?
Then they're gonna know that
it was us that did that shit!
We did it for you,
you know what I mean?
Like, we did it for grant,
for the campaign.
It was just a prank,
you know.
It's supposed to be funny.
Well, maybe three weeks
ago it would have been,
but now...
you can't
do this, man!
You can't
fucking do this!
I have to
or you'll take
grant down with you.
That's politics.
We are launching our own
investigation into the matter.
Until then, I cannot
comment any further.
Yes.
No.
I don't know.
I'm sorry.
[ Telephones ring ]
[ Telephone rings ]
Hang it up.
Hang it up!
Let it go.
[ Telephones ringing ]
The posters were
discovered this morning
when councilman
Richard McIver
walked into his office
here at city hall.
Councilman McIver,
a word, please, sir?
Yes, yes, it was
quite unnerving.
I mean, quite a shock.
Bastard! Lying, fucking,
manipulative bastard!
Cogswell, who made it past
yesterday's primary
and into
the general election
for McIver's seat
on the city council,
is known for running
a reckless campaign.
FBI and local officials,
however,
believe that the break-in
was committed...
[ telephone rings ]
[ Ring ]
Actually it's a relief.
That isn't why I called.
But be honest, Phil.
I mean, what if
he had been elected?
He knows nothing of teamwork
or consensus building,
any of the things that
make up a real politician.
It would have blown up
in our faces.
I don't care about
our faces, Clair.
I care about what happened
with us last night.
Yeah.
I wasn't myself, okay?
I have a girlfriend
who I love.
Of course, you do.
I didn't even know what
I was doing last night.
Who does?
You know what?
Forget it.
You know what they say about
bedfellows in politics.
[ Hangs up ]
[ Telephone rings ]
Hello?
Phil?
Phil?
Here's my list
for when I'm elected,
things I'm gonna compromise on
and things I'm gonna fight for.
I'm trying to get a handle
on what I can really do
on the council,
you know, think
pragmatically here.
It's time to face
the reality of this, Phil,
'cause I'm not gonna give up.
I'm gonna grow up.
Okay,
what brought this on?
A dream.
I was at
the top of a building,
a tall, tall building,
and I jumped.
The sidewalk rushing in on me
and I knew that I was dead.
I knew it was the end for me,
and just as I was about
to hit the concrete,
right at that last second,
I look up toward the sky
one last time,
and suddenly...
I was flying.
I mean, it was like
an omen, man,
an omen of hope
and possibility,
and I knew as clear
as the mountains and the sky...
We're gonna win
this thing, Phil,
and we're gonna win it big.
All right, grant,
let's go.
Many are calling your
campaign overly militant.
You have sued the city,
someone on your staff
has vandalized city hall,
and this is all in an effort
to oust the only major African
American representative
we have in Seattle.
Well...
I can't be black,
if that's what
you're asking,
but the real question
should be
can my opponent give you a better Seattle
than I can?
He likes to call me a
single-issue candidate,
but what
he doesn't realize
is that I've carefully
analyzed the situation
and the single best way
to bring real change
to Seattle
is with the monorail.
It will unify us,
rich and poor.
It will diminish
pollution
because it runs
on electricity.
It'll enhance
the neighborhoods
that it sails over
because it's beautiful.
And once that
is finished,
then I'll get back
into what needs to be...
it's all fine and good
to have a dream, grant,
and to attack those of us
who have been
in the trenches for years
trying to do good
by this city.
But we are trying to build
a mass transportation system
and we're trying to do it
in the real world.
Oh, the real world.
That's what you call it?
Where hard-working
poor people
are walled off from
the good jobs downtown
because
they don't have a car?
Where low-income housing
is demolished
so the big boys
can build a life-sized
train set?
Or a highway that runs
over the water
that'll dump enough muck
to sterilize every variation
of salmon for 200 Miles?
No, I'm sorry,
Mr. McIver.
That's not the real
world that I live in.
And if somebody wants
to call me militant
for speaking
the way I do,
then I'll take it
as a compliment.
Mr. McIver?
Frankly, I don't know
how to respond to that.
I have been fighting
body and soul
for this city for 15 years.
I'll stand on my record.
All right,
I'll tell you what.
We're almost out
of time as it is.
I'm gonna give you
each 20 seconds.
What is it that you want the
voters to know, Mr. Cogswell?
I'm a grassroots
activist.
My opponent is running
an insider campaign.
He's got
a political consultant
and a P.R. and a host of lobbyists.
So please come out
and vote.
Vote, vote, vote,
always vote.
And we need volunteers
and we need money
because my opponent is
also out-spending me 10-1
because he's getting the
big $600 contributions
that he voted in to raise
the contribution limit!
Councilman McIver,
you have 20 seconds as well
to wrap this up.
You know, Tate, I...
I love this city.
I've given my life to it.
All right.
Well, it is Richard McIver
and grant Cogswell.
They are running in a race
that is just too close to call
for city council
position number eight.
I'll tell you
what we're gonna do.
We're gonna take
a quick break.
For another position
here on weekday on KUOW.
I blew that motherfucker
out of the water,
out of
the fucking water!
Yeah, you did, grant.
He's so entangled in his own
bureaucratic intestines,
he couldn't even find
his own asshole.
Do you hear what he
said when I told him...
why didn't you
shake his hand?
He's the bad guy, Phil.
You don't shake hands
with the bad guy.
And we're the good guys?
Yeah, of course.
Why? Why? Because
we sued the city,
broke into offices,
spun 9/11 our way,
and now we're gonna beat
the big bad black guy?
Why didn't you
shake his hand?
I want an answer.
I told you my answer.
That's not good enough.
That's not good enough because
what happens if we do win?
Huh? What are you
gonna do then?
You gonna insult your way
into getting a monorail built?
Wearing a polar bear outfit,
threatening to jump off a bridge
if you don't get your way?
Fuck it.
I'm ready for...
Hey, grant, grant, grant.
I've got some great news
from queen Anne.
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait. No! No!
To bring me back
I will lay here quiet
honey, don't leave me
out here all night
no, it ain't right
the way I talked
and walked
and left you far behind
but I saw your face
all day, all night
if we don't talk
I won't mind
'cause it's the only way
excuse me, sir.
You're gonna have to go
through the metal detector.
To get along sometimes
take everything out
of your pockets.
Don't forget the button.
Everything metal.
Here you go.
Now that I'm old
I am not the way
the way I thought
I was
Mr. Campbell?
Yes?
I know it's hard
but you know
we'll make it,
my darling
if we don't talk
I won't mind
'cause it's the only way
to get along sometimes
sir.
I was surprised.
Me, too.
Have a seat.
So what's so important,
other than getting to
the voting booth tomorrow?
Well, the campaign,
we never apologized
for the break-in.
We spun it,
but we didn't say
we were sorry.
I'd say that was politics.
I guess.
Besides,
kids do what they do.
Lord knows, mine did.
Grant should have
shaken your hand.
I'd say that
was politics, too.
And that makes it right?
[ Laughs ]
I don't know.
Maybe sometimes there
are things more important
than simply being
right or wrong.
[ Chuckles ]
How do you feel
about being his proxy?
Yeah, I need
all 30,000 names
re-contacted
before 10 P.M. tonight.
Yes, I'm serious.
Yes, just do it.
All right, guys. Are
we doing this or what?
Where you guys headed?
[ Overlapping conversations ]
All right, guys,
5,000 names left.
We're gonna make this
4,000 names left.
We will make this.
Oh, dear God,
if I got to talk to one more
special interest nut job
wanting a law protecting
their leg hair.
This is grant Cogswell.
Guys, shh! Shh!
Shut up!
Wow.
Yes, thank you, sir.
I'd appreciate that
very much.
I would enjoy that.
I would.
I think some good might
come of that, too, yes.
Yes, for everyone.
Okay.
Who was that?
Grant,
what's going on?
That was McIver.
What?
He's not pressing charges.
He had the city council
write a letter to the FBI.
Wayne's off the hook.
We all are.
[ Cheering ]
He wants to drive me to
the polls tomorrow to vote,
take me out for drinks
afterwards.
Whoa, whoa.
Whoa! Whoa!
In his car?
You're gonna drive
in his car?
No, no!
It's a setup, man!
We can't do this!
Do you know
what's gonna happen
if they
photograph you
coming out of
your opponent's car?
At least
take my bike, man.
We can't contaminate
our message like this
at the very last minute!
Everybody keep working.
Does anybody
have a skateboard?
You're the public
transportation candidate.
Fantastic, guys.
[ Cheering ]
Where you at
in the list?
Awesome.
Great job, you guys!
Will someone get some sandwiches
for these guys, please?
Guys, great job.
Great job, you guys.
Where you at
on your list?
Have you called
all these yet?
Hi. Yes, hi, ma'am.
This is Phil Campbell.
I'm calling
from the campaign
for grant Cogswell
for city council.
Grant... Grant Cogswell.
City... yes.
You did? You did vote?
Hi, this is
Phil Campbell.
I'm calling
from the campaign
for grant Cogswell
for city council.
I just wanted
to make sure
that you were
going to vote today.
That's right. Mm-hmm.
Right, well, we
appreciate your support,
and if you can tell...
he's here. He's here.
Okay, I'm gonna go vote now.
Yeah!
Have you guys all voted?
Vote for me, obviously!
[ Cheering ]
Whoo!
Got you, grant.
Knock 'em dead,
grant.
[ Cheering ]
Hey.
Ready to do this?
[ Knock on door ]
Hi.
Hi.
Oh, wow.
Wow, you even got a puppy.
Don't. Don't.
She's cute.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Just hold her there.
It's a submissive
urination problem.
She walking
you enough, huh?
Sorry.
Here, let me get it.
Yeah, I got it.
So what brings you here?
Could you repeat
the question?
No, I just...
I wanted
to make sure you voted.
Is today the election?
I'm kidding.
[ Laughs ]
It's gonna be close.
Yeah, I heard.
Your polling location
is 223 Roy.
It's a brick building.
You enter on the right side.
Don't vote your conscience.
I didn't.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
[ Laughs ]
You look like
a Bible salesman.
Yeah, right.
Grant Cogswell
for city council!
[ Cheering ]
46%.
Guys! Guys!
Greg Nichols is emerging
clearly as the leader.
Mark center has settled
for third place.
We got new numbers?
We got new numbers?
We're not greedy here,
right?
All we really need
is 50.0000001%, right?
That's all we need!
That's all we need!
That's it.
We're looking now at the
current vote for city council.
At this point, it looks
like all incumbents are ahead,
although lots of precincts
have not put in their report.
That can change
very quickly.
And I think
we have some evidence
that it's gonna
start changing.
We need 3%.
Ready, guys?
3%! 3%! 3%!
3%! 3%! 3%!
[ Cheering ]
The closest race
of the night
is for council
position number eight
in the race between
the incumbent Richard McIver
and challenger
grant Cogswell.
Cogswell! Cogswell!
Cogswell!
[ Cheering ]
People, that's 1%.
You guys are doing this.
This is for Seattle.
This is for the monorail!
Come on, we can do this!
We can change Seattle!
1%! 1%! 1%!
[ Cheering ]
0.2%, 0.2.
0.2! 0.2!
0.2! 0.2!
[ Cheering ]
It's happening! Yes!
Oh, man, we got this
in the bag.
Put it in the bag,
put it in the trunk.
What is it?
What is it?
Drive with this, bitches!
[ Cheering ]
Come on, come on.
Show us what's next.
Come on, come on.
What's the next one?
Theresa, what is it?
Come on,
what's the number?
Still good.
Still in there.
Gonna go back up.
It's okay.
The polls are closing.
It fluctuates.
You just wait
for the next number.
Fluctuation!
It's all right.
It's all right.
That's a lot, Phil.
Just wait for
the next numbers.
Wait for
the next numbers.
What's the next number?
That's fine, right?
Anyway, it's only,
like, 30 votes.
Come on, 30 votes.
30 votes.
30 votes. 30 votes.
30 votes. 30 votes.
And the polls are now
officially closed.
We are now ready to predict
tonight's results.
It does appear that all
of the city council seats
will remain in the hands
of the incumbents.
As for the mayor's race...
no! No!
No, still,
we can do this.
30 votes! 30 votes!
30 votes! 30 votes!
30 votes! Everyone!
30 votes!
They're gonna revise
the numbers.
Like, remember what
happened with bush?
And it went to court
and the whole...
wait, everybody,
wait! Wait!
Hold on!
There'll still
the absentee ballots, right?
Absentee ballots!
Who wasn't absent
from school
at least once,
right?
There's absentee ballots.
They are the smartest voters
out there.
Smartest voters
out there.
We're gonna have
those votes.
It's only 30 votes,
you guys!
We can win this!
We're gonna win this!
Yeah.
And while we wait
to hear the final...
the victory
announcement for us.
I would like to do some of
my grant Cogswell impressions.
Richard McIver,
Richard McIver
has flushed Seattle
down the toilet
and he doesn't
even know it, folks.
And I hate these shoes!
I hate these shoes.
I need better arch support.
Reowr!
We have just begun!
[ Cheering ]
Polar bear. Polar bear.
Reowr!
Reowr!
Aah!
McIver has won
and now we have to contend
with this.
We love you, grant!
48%!
Do you know
what that means?
It means that we're
the trees and the rain.
Seattle!
[ Cheering ]
Seattle!
[ Cheering ]
And we will not sleep,
not today, not yesterday,
not 100 years from now,
because we've woken them up
out of their hibernation!
Reowr!
And that's why,
first and foremost,
I got to thank
one son of a bitch,
one son of a bitch
above all else,
and that's my polar bear
tamer extraordinaire!
Get up here!
[ Cheering ]
Go, go.
Wayne. Wayne.
Yes, and Wayne
for almost going to jail
for this campaign,
and Theresa, our wonderful
office coordinator
who almost swallowed a bear.
And Evan salt.
And Evan salt, who's...
I thought I might
find you here.
Who designed our t-shirts.
Defeat hurts!
I've been thinking
about things.
I think you may
have been right
about, like,
a thing or two.
Michael Hanson?
I've missed you...
Kind of.
You look...
Not bad in a tie.
I love you guys all!
Let's just go crazy!
[ Cheering ]
Reowr!
Marry me.
What?
Hey, I almost got a polar bear
elected to office.
Hey, hey, McIver's on!
McIver's on.
While this has been
a victory for me,
it's been a narrow one.
I just want you to know
that I take that to heart.
The next several months,
we'll be working together.
Would you repeat
the question?
[Fight for love playing]