Great American Chase, The (1979) Movie Script
- Beep beep!
- No, you don't.
Be it pleasures and palaces
Though I may roam
Be it ever so humble
There's no place like home
Be it ever so humble
There's no place like home
How do you do?
Nice of you to drop by me humble abode.
My name is Bunny.
Bugs Bunny, Esq., to be exact.
One of the back bay bunnies,
back bay of Brooklyn, that is.
I have also been known
by other flattering names.
For instance, I'm called
"that rascally rabbit"...
by a certain E., Elmer Fudd...
who has spent many fruitless
and rather frustrating years chasing me.
I have also been know as...
"that ornery, carrot-eating varmint"...
by a certain Yosemite Sam,
who for some reason hates rabbits.
I can't imagine why.
What started all this chasing?
When was the very first chase?
In order to answer that question...
we'll have to swing back in time
a little bitty bit.
In the beginning,
all was peaceful and quiet.
Quite dark, too.
Once in a while, a star exploded...
but usually it was just a small one...
only a million miles or so in diameter.
Anyway, nobody complained,
which was odd...
until you realized that
there wasn't nobody around to complain.
So for about 15 or 20 billion years...
things went along
smoothly and pleasantly.
Until one day...
very deep in a sixth-rate galaxy
called the Milky Way...
circling around
a fourth-rate star called the Sun...
on a tenth-rate planet,
a strange creature appeared.
A strange creature called man.
I'll take it.
And so Neanderthal person
quickly invented the first chase...
and the first competition...
and the first love...
and the first women's lib.
And the first domesticity
and the first boredom.
And so Neanderthal persons,
in order to alleviate boredom...
invented the first graffiti.
What's on the wall tonight, dear?
Same old stuff.
Westerns, sitcoms, soaps.
And, so, the invention of boredom...
led to the invention of moving pictures.
But after about 25,000 years of this...
and having developed
severe cricks in their necks...
man and woman became bored again...
even with all those brilliant,
ultramodern, innovative ideas...
like the first motion-picture cameras.
I'm kind of tired of documentaries.
Frankly, I wouldn't mind
a few laughs myself.
And, so, it came to pass
that comedy was invented...
and comedy begat pratfalls...
and custard pies...
and double takes.
But most of all, comedy begat chases.
And chases begat chases and chases...
and chases and chases...
until the mind boggled us.
And then one day...
another strange and historic
creature appeared.
Me.
Okay, rabbit, now I've got you.
What's up, doc?
So you see, that's how chases began...
and that's how I came into the picture...
just a mild mannered forest creature...
shy, easily frightened.
A quiet-living rabbit am I.
And yet...
I guess in a way...
I am an unusual rabbit on account of...
Instead of having hundreds of children...
like your ordinary run-of-the-mill rabbit...
I had several fathers.
Fathers with odd names, like Tex Avery...
Friz Freleng, Chuck Jones...
and Bob McKimson.
The ones who directed
most of me pictures.
Fathers like Tedd Pierce...
Warren Foster...
and Mike Maltese,
who wrote most of me biography.
And, of course, a father named Mel Blanc...
who had thousands of voices...
and was nice enough
to give me one of them.
This show you're gonna see now...
is about what just one of those fathers
did with me and me cartoon associates.
An animation director...
who goes by the unlikely name
of Chuck Jones.
And old Chuck seemed determined...
to get poor little old me
into outer space, too.
Gad! What a night!
I'll never mix radish juice
and carrot juice again.
I hope the lake's warmed up a little
this morning.
10, 9, 8...
The hole seems long this morning.
...3, 2, 1, fire!
Holy cow! I thought
I'd never reach the top of this.
Who plugged up the hole?
Why, the sun ain't even out yet.
No wonder I'm so sleepy.
Yikes!
What was that?
Ask a silly question.
Something tells me
I should have stood in bed.
Where the heck am I, anyways?
Wherever it is, I don't like it...
and I'm getting out of here.
Maybe that character wearing a spittoon
can help me.
At last, after 2,000 years of work...
the Illudium
PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator.
Pardon me, sir, but could you...
At long last, my dream come true.
Hey, doc, wait!
I wanna ask you something.
Pardon me, doc, but could you
rent me a U-drive flying saucer?
I've got to get back to the Earth.
The Earth? The Earth
will be gone in just a few seconds.
Don't bother, then.
No point in wasting money
on a flying saucer...
when the Earth's not gonna...
Clang!
Pardon me again, doc,
but just what did you mean...
by that crack about the Earth being gone?
I'm going to blow it up.
It obstructs my view of Venus.
It does? That's a shame.
Where's the kaboom?
There was supposed to be
an earth-shattering kaboom.
The Illudium PU-36
Explosive Space Modulator!
That creature has stolen
the space modulator!
Delays, delays.
Capture that creature...
and return the Illudium PU-36
Explosive Space Modulator.
That's that.
Oh, dear.
Now, I shall have to create more Martians.
This Martian hot rod better get
at least a million miles to the gallon.
The Earth ain't just across the street.
Oh, goody!
My Illudium PU-36
Explosive Space Modulator.
Back to the old drawing board.
Boy, it's really wonderful
to be back in civilization.
Run for the hills, folks,
or you'll be up to your armpits in Martians.
As you can see, being a rabbit
is not just a bed of carrots.
But other people,
if you want to call a duck people...
had close encounters
with that little Martian, too.
As the ensuing, gripping...
and nerve-tingling drama
now demonstrates.
I have sent for you, Dodgers,
because we are facing a crisis.
The world's supply of Illudium Phosdex,
the shaving cream atom...
is alarmingly low.
Now, we have reason to believe...
that the only
remaining source is on Planet X.
Somewhere in this area.
And you want me
to find Planet X, is that it?
Can you do it, Dodgers?
Indubitably, sir.
Because there's no one knows his way
around outer space...
like Duck Dodgers...
in the 24th and a half century!
Are you ready, eager young space cadet?
I'm all set, your heroship, sir.
Then make way for Duck Dodgers...
in the 24th and a half century!
Oops!
Had the silly thing in reverse.
And now, then, eager young space cadet...
here is the course
we shall pursue to find Planet X.
Starting from where we are,
we go 33,600 turbo miles due up.
Then, west in an astro-arc deviation
to here.
Then, following the great circle,
seven radial loops south by down-east.
By astro-astroble to here, here, and here.
Then by space-navigable compass
to here, here...
and then to here and here...
by 13-point stratocumulus
bearing four million light-years...
and thus to our destination.
Now, do you know how to reach Planet X?
Yes. Oh, sure.
I wish you'd explain it
to me sometime, buster.
Well, it's very simple, sir.
If we follow those planets,
we can't very well miss Planet X.
That's ridiculous.
Of all the stupid suggestions.
Wait a minute. I think I've got it.
I'll just bet that...
if we follow those planets,
we'll find Planet X.
Gad! How do I do it?
I don't know.
I claim this planet
in the name of the Earth.
I claim this planet in the name of Mars.
- Isn't that lovely?
- Look, bud, I've got news for you.
I have already claimed
this bit of dirt for the Earth.
And there just ain't room enough
on this planet...
for the two of us.
I do believe you are right.
Little does he realize...
that I have on
my disintegration-proof vest.
You may fire when ready, grizzly.
Who? What? Where?
When? How? Who? Who? What?
Oh, you, huh?
Just when I had him going,
you had to butt in.
- Get back in that spaceship.
- Yes, sir, your heroship, sir.
Got the drop on you
with my disintegrating pistol.
And, brother,
when it disintegrates, it disintegrates.
What do you know? It disintegrated.
Happy birthday,
you thing from another world, you.
Thank you!
Well, I guess he's had enough.
I'll send him an ultimatum.
I'll see what the little stinker
is up to on my supervideo-detecto set.
That's the last straw!
Now, I use my secret weapon!
As I was saying, buster...
this planet ain't big enough
for the two of us.
So, off you go!
And now this planet is
hereby claimed for the Earth...
in the name of Duck Dodgers...
in the 24th and a half century!
Big deal.
I don't remember just how
Daffy got down from Planet X.
Maybe they had to shoot him down.
But, anyway, he's back at his old stand...
as the Errol Flynn of Duckdom.
I remember well the first time
he tried to sell himself...
as the logical successor to Errol.
Join up with me, so joyous and free
And away to old Sherwood hie
For I'm Robin Hood, and I'm very good
At avoiding the sheriff's eye
So we'll trip along merrily
Over the greensward so gracefully
To trip it, trip it, trip it, trip it
Trip it up and down
To trip it, trip it, trip it, trip it
Trip it! Whoops!
So trip it up and down
I'll ho-ho and ha-ha you, fat Friar.
With my trusty quarterstaff!
Actually, it's a buck-and-a-quarter
quarterstaff.
But I'm not telling him that.
Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin!
Thrust!
Let's see, now. Something amiss here.
I'll run through it.
Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin!
Thrust!
Got it.
Now, then.
Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin!
Knock it off.
How jolly can you get?
Prithee, old traveling clown...
coulds't thou directest me
to Robin Hood's hideout?
I woulds't fain join me up
with his band of jolly outlaws.
Look no further, good Friar,
for I am he for whoms't thou seekest.
I am Robin Hood!
Cut it out. I'm serious.
If you don't know where he is, just say so.
But honest and truly, I am Robin Hood!
Sure, you are.
Look, give me a chance, can't you?
I'll prove I'm Robin Hood.
See yon rich, unwary traveler?
I'll rob him of his gold
and give it to some poor unworthy slob.
That'll prove that I'm Robin Hood. Prithee?
Now, then, fatso...
watch as I put a cloth yard shaft
through his wishbone.
I'm watching, jester.
Why, I don't know
how I could have doubted you.
Shall we spend the gold all in one place?
Ho-ho. Very funny. Ha-ha. It is to laugh.
Yoicks and away!
Why, you...
Now, then, yoicks and away!
Now...
I'm sorry, but I can't join you.
I'm convinced you're just not Robin Hood.
Never mind joining me. I'll join you.
Shake hands with Friar Duck.
Well, Daffy decided
to have one more shot...
at the musketeer business.
But this time, he got involved
with a very mysterious opponent.
Namely, well, see for yourself.
Stand back, musketeers!
They shall sample my blade!
Touch!
Musketeers? En garde? My blade?
Whoever's in charge here...
the scenery! Where's the scenery?
Stand back, musketeers!
They shall sample... my... blade?
Okay, have it your way.
Daffy duck, he had a farm
E-I-E-I-O
And on this farm, he had an igloo
E-I-E-I-O
Would it be too much to ask
if we could make up our minds?
Dashing through the snow
Through the fields we go
Laughing all the way
Farewell to thee, farewell to thee
The wind will carry back our sad refrain
One last embrace before we say...
Buster, it may come
as a complete surprise to you...
to find that this is an animated cartoon...
and that in animated cartoons
they have scenery.
And in all the years I've...
All right, wise guy, where am I?
And I've never been
so humiliated in all my life!
Look, Mac, just what's going on
around here?
Let's get organized.
How about some scenery?
That's dandy. Ho-ho! That's rich, I'll say.
Now how about some color, stupid?
Hey!
Not me, you slop artist!
Where's the rest of me?
It isn't as though I haven't
lived up to my contract.
Goodness knows.
And goodness knows it isn't as though...
I haven't kept myself trim,
goodness knows.
I've done that. That's strange.
All of a sudden,
I don't quite feel like myself.
I feel all right, and yet I...
You know better than that!
Well?
Sea picture, hey?
I always wanted to do a sea epic.
Now, Mr. Rembrandt...
if you'll kindly oblige
with a little appropriate scenery...
Over the sea, let's go, men
We're shoving right off,
We're shoving right off
Again?
Come here! Give me a close-up!
This is a close-up?
A close-up, you jerk!
Thanks for the sour persimmons, cousin.
Now, look, buster,
let's have an understanding.
Now what?
Brother! What a way to run a railroad.
Now, then, as I was saying...
All right, let's get this picture started.
No!
Listen, pal, let's discuss this thing sanely.
Look, I tell you what.
You go your way, and I'll go mine.
Live and let live. Right? Right.
Ladies and gentlemen,
there will be no further delays.
So, I shall attempt to entertain you
in my own inimitable fashion.
Now what?
- What are you doing down there?
- Down here? What are you doing up there?
Down here.
Listen, bud, if you wasn't me,
I'd smack you right in the puss.
- Don't let that bother you, Jack!
- Okay, buddy, you asked for it!
Oh, brother! I'm a buzzboy!
Time to hit the old silk.
Geronimo!
All right, enough is enough!
This is the final, the very, very last straw!
Who is responsible for this...
I demand that you show yourself!
Who are you?
Ain't I a stinker?
Now, one of the problems
I always had with aminators, animators...
is that they can't ever seem
to tell the difference...
between a rabbit and a mole.
Very humiliating
having to burrow your way...
wherever you want to go.
And somehow, I always forgot
to take that left turn at Albuquerque.
Here I am!
Just a cotton-picking minute.
This don't look like
the Coachella Valley to me.
I knew I should have taken
that left turn at Albuquerque.
I'll just ask this gent
in the fancy knickerbockers.
I beg your par...
Pardon me, sir, but could you
direct me to the shortest route...
to the Coachella Valley
and the big carrot festival, therein?
What's up, doc?
Stop steaming up my tail!
What are you trying to do, wrinkle it?
Let's see, now. Coachella Valley.
Then to Las Vegas, San Bernadino...
Of course, you realize this means war.
Me public.
What a gulli-bull.
What a nim-cow-poop.
Pardon me, Mac.
Okay, Toro,
whenever you can spare the time.
Booby trap.
What an imbecile.
What an ultra-maroon.
Traveling alone can be boring.
Personally, I prefer to travel
with some foxy little rabbit chick.
Like Sophia here.
But...
I often found myself traveling
with that selfsame courteous...
even-tempered, unselfish, pushy,
self-serving, conceited...
self-made favorite of everyone
including himself...
Daffy Duck.
Close sesame.
Guard well this treasure, O Hasaan.
Or the jackal shall grow fat on thy carcass.
No one shall pass Hasaan.
Open.
Open sarsaparilla?
Open Saskatchewan?
Here we are.
Pismo Beach and all the clams we can eat!
What a way for a duck to travel.
Underground.
Wait a minute.
Since when is Pismo Beach inside a cave?
I wonder...
You know, I just bet we should have
turned left at Albuquerque.
Then maybe a right turn at La Jolla.
We can't be too far off.
- So, if we...
- It's mine, you understand?
Mine! All mine! Get back in there!
Down! Go! Mine!
What's up, duck?
I'm rich! I'm wealthy!
I'm comfortably well-off.
Open septuagenarian?
Open saddle soap?
Open sesame?
I'm in the money
La ta, the money
Ah! Redcap.
Call me a cab, boy, and be quick about it.
I'm a heavy tipper.
Quick! Save me, pal. And it's yours!
Gorgeous, isn't it? Don't be afraid.
Have it appraised anyplace.
- Proud punk.
- Hasaan chop!
Yeah? Chop the rabbit.
He brought us here.
Me genie, the light-brown hare.
O mighty genie!
Release me,
and I shall grant thee a rich reward.
He's lying! Chop him!
Hasaan release you, O Master!
Thank you, Hasaan.
Now, woulds't thou like to have...
all this treasure for thy very own?
Yes, Master. Hasaan like!
Very well.
It's yours.
I don't know. I have a feeling
that Pismo Beach ain't quite this wide.
Help! Help, save me, pal!
Save me! Help!
Hasaan chop!
- Help!
- Okay, Daff, back here.
- What's with you, anyway?
- I can't help it. I'm a greedy slob.
It's my hobby. Save me!
Hasaan chop!
Him go that-a-way.
- Is he gone?
- Yeah. I got rid of him.
Boy! I'm rich!
I'm wealthy! I'm independent!
I'm socially secure! I'm rich!
There. I think that's the last of it.
Just a quick check
to see if I missed anything.
What's this?
Polished up, it might bring
another quick four bits...
on the open market.
I am the genie of the lamp, O Master.
No, you don't! You want my treasure!
It's mine, understand?
All mine! Down! Go! Mine!
Duck, you have desecrated
the spirit of the lamp.
Prepare to take the consequences.
Consequences, schmonsequences.
As long as I'm rich.
I wonder how that crazy duck
ever made out with that genie?
What do you know? A pearl!
It's mine, you understand? Mine! All mine!
Go! Mine, do you hear me? Out! Mine!
Oh, brother! Close sesame.
I'm rich. I'm a happy miser.
I sometimes get the feeling
that the entire population of the world...
is made up of people who want to
shoot, fry, dice...
or parboil rabbits and/ or ducks.
For instance, old Elmer Fudd...
who, like so many
other brave sportsmen...
never seems really happy
unless he's protecting innocent citizens...
by shooting dangerous forest animals.
Like rabbits and ducks.
Be very, very quiet. I'm hunting rabbits.
Boy! Rabbit tracks!
Bugsy. Bugsy, pal.
There's a friend here to see ya.
Survival of the fittest.
And besides, it's fun.
Did someone knock?
What's up, doc?
Now I got you, you rabbit!
Say, doc, are you trying
to get yourself in trouble with the law?
- This ain't rabbit hunting season.
- It's not?
No. It's duck hunting season.
That, sir, is an inmitigated frabrication.
It's rabbit season!
- Duck season!
- Rabbit season!
- Rabbit season!
- Duck season!
- Rabbit season!
- I say it's duck season, and I say fire!
- Let's try that again.
- Okay.
- I'll start it this time.
- Right.
- Rabbit season!
- Duck season.
- Rabbit season!
- Rabbit season.
Duck season! Fire!
Okay, this time you start it.
Whatever you say.
- Rabbit.
- Duck! Fire!
What's the matter?
Everything's upside down.
Strange. Can't make heads or tails
of things.
Hey you! Come back here.
What do you know? No more bullets.
No more bullets?
Laughing boy, no more bullets.
No more bullets?
Here, let me see that thing.
What do you know? One bullet left.
One bullet left?
- Laughing boy, there was...
- I know, I know!
Devilishly clever.
What's up, doc?
Having any luck with those ducks?
It's duck season, you know?
Just a darn minute.
Where do you get that duck season stuff?
Says so right over there on that sign.
You're so smart.
You know what to do with that gun, doc.
You're despicable.
Yes, you're despicable and pickable...
and you're very definitely despicable!
How a person can get so despicable
in one lifetime is beyond me.
It isn't as though
I haven't met a lot of people.
Goodness knows it isn't that!
It isn't that... That...
Goodness knows it isn't... It's...
despicable.
"Filet of duck bordelaise maitre d' butter."
Yum, yum.
"Duck polonaise under glass."
"Rabbit au gratin de gelatin
under tooled leather."
Drool, drool.
"Barbecued duck meat
with broiled duckbill milanese."
Yummy yum.
"Chicken-fried rabbit
with cottontail sauce braised in carrots."
I'm sorry fellows, but I'm a vegetarian.
I just hunt for the sport of it.
Yeah?
There's other sports besides hunting,
you know?
Anyone for tennis?
Nice game.
Now you screwy rabbit, you're next.
All right, come out or I'll blast you out.
For shame, doc.
Hunting rabbits with an elephant gun.
- Elephant gun?
- That's right, doc.
So why don't you go
shoot yourself an elephant?
You do and I'll give you such a pinch!
Just wait till I get that screwy rabbit
and that screwball duck.
What's the big idea?
Why don't you look where you...
How simply dreadful.
You poor little man.
Did I hurt you with my naughty gun?
Shucks. Well, I...
Gypsy, you naughty bow-wow. Stop that.
Okay, rabbit, I see through that disguise.
Say your prayers.
You, too, duck.
- Rabbit season.
- Duck season.
- Rabbit season!
- Duck season!
Be very, very quiet. We're hunting Elmers.
Now here is a gentleman who knows
what chasing is all about.
He lives in France where
all good Americans go when they die.
And in France...
the onliest reason
for chasing anybody is for love.
Sacr maroon! Le help!
Assistansions! Gendarme!
Pouf, Jos. Gendarme can le fix.
Thank you, le gendarme.
Merci beaucoup, le thanks.
Sacr cerise!
Le pew!
Quelle terrible odeur!
Un smell-e-vous fine.
I am the bankrupt!
Le mew. Le purr.
Le pussy ferocious.
Remove that skunk.
That polecat pole from the premises.
A vec!
Quelle est-ce?
Le belle femme skunk fatale.
My little darling.
It is love at first sight, is it not?
No?
Do not come with me to the casbah.
We shall make beautiful music
together right here.
This little love bordel.
Now she is seeking for us a trysting place.
Touching, is it not?
Come, my little peanut of brittle.
I will help you.
Wait for me. Wait.
Where are you, pigeon?
I am looking for you.
I am going... Huh?
I missed, fortunately for you.
So now, mon cherie,
we can begin life anew.
C'est la guerre.
Hello, baby.
I am the locksmith of love, no?
Come, darling. We must be grown up
about this thing.
Do not run away from the love.
Here. What is this?
But of course.
This little one wish to commit suicide
to prove her love for me.
What a sweet gesture.
Nevertheless, I must prevent it.
Saved!
Vive I'amour! We die together.
I am not dead? No.
What's this? Is that you, pigeon?
Is that...
Pardon grand mama, but have you seen
a beautiful young lady skunk?
Where are you, pigeon?
I am looking somewhere to find you.
Rabbit, where are you?
Perhaps you have returned in here.
Are you here then, golden girl?
Who is this?
It is you again.
What can I do to help you?
Why do you lock the...
Oh, no!
Control yourself, madam.
You cannot be in earnest.
A joke, yes?
No?
You know, it is possible
to be too attractive.
Do you know what that was?
The Minute Waltz played in 30 seconds.
New world record.
There are people who just
don't like music, as I found out one day.
On a rainy night in Rio
A-rink a-dink a-dink
What do they do
when there is no starry sky
Oh, starry sky
Where do they go
when they can't go for a walk?
Do they stay home and talk
Or do they sit inside
What do they do in Mississippi
When skies are drippy
And what do they do in Tijuana
When they wanna snuggle tight
Well...
Music-hater.
She's a fancy stepper when she dances
Go and see her as she capers and prances
My gal don't do much talking
Dances even when she's walking
One and two and three and four
She dances all day long
My gal is a highborn stepper
Ginger with salt and pepper
She's a fancy stepper when she dances
Go and see her as she capers and prances
What's up, doc?
Also a rabbit hater.
Of course, you know, this means war.
- Leopold.
- Leopold.
- Leopold.
- Leopold.
Leopold!
Leopold.
You either hate opera or you love it.
I love it.
I loved it so much,
I took the entire 18 hours...
of Richard Wagner's Ring of Nibelung...
and squashed it down to seven minutes.
Be very quiet
I'm hunting rabbits
Rabbit tracks.
Kill the rabbit
Kill the rabbit
Kill the rabbit?
Yohoto
Yohoto
Yohoto
Yoho
Oh, mighty warrior of great fighting stock
Might I inquire to ask
What's up, doc?
I'm going to kill the rabbit
Oh, mighty hunter
it will be quite a task
How will you do it
might I inquire to ask?
I will do it
with my spear and magic helmet
Your spear and magic helmet?
- Spear and magic helmet
- Magic helmet?
Magic helmet
Magic helmet.
Yes. Magic helmet
And I'll give you a sample
Bye.
That was the rabbit.
Brunhilde
You're so lovely
Yes, I know it
I can't help it
Brunhilde
Be my love
Return my love
A longing burns deep inside me
Return my love
I want you always beside me
Love like ours must be
Made for you and for me
Return
Won't you return, my love?
For my love is yours
I'll kill the rabbit!
Arise, storm!
North winds blow! South winds blow!
Typhoons! Hurricanes! Earthquakes!
Smog!
White lightning, strike the rabbit!
What have I done?
I've killed the rabbit
Poor little bunny
Poor little rabbit
What did you expect in an opera,
a happy ending?
I will say this for Elmer.
He really doesn't want us for food.
He just does it 'cause he's a sportsman.
That's different than some people who
go hunting because they're really hungry...
like a coyote for instance,
who will eat anything...
including me.
What's up, doc?
Allow me to introduce myself.
My name is Wile E. Coyote, Genius.
I'm not selling anything
nor am I working my way through college.
So let's get down to cases.
You are a rabbit
and I am going to eat you for supper.
Now, don't try to get away.
I am more muscular, more cunning,
faster and larger than you are...
and I'm a genius...
while you could hardly pass the
entrance examinations to kindergarten.
So, I'll give you the customary
two minutes to say your prayers.
I'm sorry, Mac. The lady
of the house ain't home and besides...
we mailed you people a check last week.
Why do they always want
to do it the hard way?
Wile E., you genius.
You've done it again.
- What's cooking, doc?
- Rabbit stew.
I'm such a genius!
Smells mighty good!
But there's only one little thing wrong
with it.
- There is? What?
- No rabbit.
I'm looking over a three-leaf clover
That I overlooked be three
Back to the old drawing board.
Genius, that's what it is! Sheer genius!
Wile E. Coyote. Super genius.
I like the way that rolls out.
Wile E. Coyote. Super genius.
Wile E. Coyote.
Super genius.
Allow me to introduce myself.
My name is Mud.
And remember,
mud spelled backwards is "dum."
Even a genius gets
the message after a while...
and realizes that eating rabbit...
cooked or raw isn't such a smart idea.
Raw rabbit? What a revolting idea.
So old Wile E. decided that he'd
better pursue something more his size.
For instance...
How's that for a big production?
I'll bet even old Cecil B. De Mille
would be jealous of that one.
I'm sure old Neanderthal person
never envisaged anything like that...
when he started that very first chase.
But then if he hadn't invented the chase...
maybe, just maybe, laughter wouldn't
have been invented either...
and that, old buddies,
would have been a real loss.
Who knows?
Maybe, just maybe the whole universe
will get the idea...
and stars and suns, meteors and comets...
even galaxies will realize
how necessary laughter is...
and how much fun chases are.
And...
And finally, all will once again
be peaceful and quiet.
Or will it?
Yes?
Well?
After all, credits where credit is due.
Eat your heart out, Burt Reynolds.
- No, you don't.
Be it pleasures and palaces
Though I may roam
Be it ever so humble
There's no place like home
Be it ever so humble
There's no place like home
How do you do?
Nice of you to drop by me humble abode.
My name is Bunny.
Bugs Bunny, Esq., to be exact.
One of the back bay bunnies,
back bay of Brooklyn, that is.
I have also been known
by other flattering names.
For instance, I'm called
"that rascally rabbit"...
by a certain E., Elmer Fudd...
who has spent many fruitless
and rather frustrating years chasing me.
I have also been know as...
"that ornery, carrot-eating varmint"...
by a certain Yosemite Sam,
who for some reason hates rabbits.
I can't imagine why.
What started all this chasing?
When was the very first chase?
In order to answer that question...
we'll have to swing back in time
a little bitty bit.
In the beginning,
all was peaceful and quiet.
Quite dark, too.
Once in a while, a star exploded...
but usually it was just a small one...
only a million miles or so in diameter.
Anyway, nobody complained,
which was odd...
until you realized that
there wasn't nobody around to complain.
So for about 15 or 20 billion years...
things went along
smoothly and pleasantly.
Until one day...
very deep in a sixth-rate galaxy
called the Milky Way...
circling around
a fourth-rate star called the Sun...
on a tenth-rate planet,
a strange creature appeared.
A strange creature called man.
I'll take it.
And so Neanderthal person
quickly invented the first chase...
and the first competition...
and the first love...
and the first women's lib.
And the first domesticity
and the first boredom.
And so Neanderthal persons,
in order to alleviate boredom...
invented the first graffiti.
What's on the wall tonight, dear?
Same old stuff.
Westerns, sitcoms, soaps.
And, so, the invention of boredom...
led to the invention of moving pictures.
But after about 25,000 years of this...
and having developed
severe cricks in their necks...
man and woman became bored again...
even with all those brilliant,
ultramodern, innovative ideas...
like the first motion-picture cameras.
I'm kind of tired of documentaries.
Frankly, I wouldn't mind
a few laughs myself.
And, so, it came to pass
that comedy was invented...
and comedy begat pratfalls...
and custard pies...
and double takes.
But most of all, comedy begat chases.
And chases begat chases and chases...
and chases and chases...
until the mind boggled us.
And then one day...
another strange and historic
creature appeared.
Me.
Okay, rabbit, now I've got you.
What's up, doc?
So you see, that's how chases began...
and that's how I came into the picture...
just a mild mannered forest creature...
shy, easily frightened.
A quiet-living rabbit am I.
And yet...
I guess in a way...
I am an unusual rabbit on account of...
Instead of having hundreds of children...
like your ordinary run-of-the-mill rabbit...
I had several fathers.
Fathers with odd names, like Tex Avery...
Friz Freleng, Chuck Jones...
and Bob McKimson.
The ones who directed
most of me pictures.
Fathers like Tedd Pierce...
Warren Foster...
and Mike Maltese,
who wrote most of me biography.
And, of course, a father named Mel Blanc...
who had thousands of voices...
and was nice enough
to give me one of them.
This show you're gonna see now...
is about what just one of those fathers
did with me and me cartoon associates.
An animation director...
who goes by the unlikely name
of Chuck Jones.
And old Chuck seemed determined...
to get poor little old me
into outer space, too.
Gad! What a night!
I'll never mix radish juice
and carrot juice again.
I hope the lake's warmed up a little
this morning.
10, 9, 8...
The hole seems long this morning.
...3, 2, 1, fire!
Holy cow! I thought
I'd never reach the top of this.
Who plugged up the hole?
Why, the sun ain't even out yet.
No wonder I'm so sleepy.
Yikes!
What was that?
Ask a silly question.
Something tells me
I should have stood in bed.
Where the heck am I, anyways?
Wherever it is, I don't like it...
and I'm getting out of here.
Maybe that character wearing a spittoon
can help me.
At last, after 2,000 years of work...
the Illudium
PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator.
Pardon me, sir, but could you...
At long last, my dream come true.
Hey, doc, wait!
I wanna ask you something.
Pardon me, doc, but could you
rent me a U-drive flying saucer?
I've got to get back to the Earth.
The Earth? The Earth
will be gone in just a few seconds.
Don't bother, then.
No point in wasting money
on a flying saucer...
when the Earth's not gonna...
Clang!
Pardon me again, doc,
but just what did you mean...
by that crack about the Earth being gone?
I'm going to blow it up.
It obstructs my view of Venus.
It does? That's a shame.
Where's the kaboom?
There was supposed to be
an earth-shattering kaboom.
The Illudium PU-36
Explosive Space Modulator!
That creature has stolen
the space modulator!
Delays, delays.
Capture that creature...
and return the Illudium PU-36
Explosive Space Modulator.
That's that.
Oh, dear.
Now, I shall have to create more Martians.
This Martian hot rod better get
at least a million miles to the gallon.
The Earth ain't just across the street.
Oh, goody!
My Illudium PU-36
Explosive Space Modulator.
Back to the old drawing board.
Boy, it's really wonderful
to be back in civilization.
Run for the hills, folks,
or you'll be up to your armpits in Martians.
As you can see, being a rabbit
is not just a bed of carrots.
But other people,
if you want to call a duck people...
had close encounters
with that little Martian, too.
As the ensuing, gripping...
and nerve-tingling drama
now demonstrates.
I have sent for you, Dodgers,
because we are facing a crisis.
The world's supply of Illudium Phosdex,
the shaving cream atom...
is alarmingly low.
Now, we have reason to believe...
that the only
remaining source is on Planet X.
Somewhere in this area.
And you want me
to find Planet X, is that it?
Can you do it, Dodgers?
Indubitably, sir.
Because there's no one knows his way
around outer space...
like Duck Dodgers...
in the 24th and a half century!
Are you ready, eager young space cadet?
I'm all set, your heroship, sir.
Then make way for Duck Dodgers...
in the 24th and a half century!
Oops!
Had the silly thing in reverse.
And now, then, eager young space cadet...
here is the course
we shall pursue to find Planet X.
Starting from where we are,
we go 33,600 turbo miles due up.
Then, west in an astro-arc deviation
to here.
Then, following the great circle,
seven radial loops south by down-east.
By astro-astroble to here, here, and here.
Then by space-navigable compass
to here, here...
and then to here and here...
by 13-point stratocumulus
bearing four million light-years...
and thus to our destination.
Now, do you know how to reach Planet X?
Yes. Oh, sure.
I wish you'd explain it
to me sometime, buster.
Well, it's very simple, sir.
If we follow those planets,
we can't very well miss Planet X.
That's ridiculous.
Of all the stupid suggestions.
Wait a minute. I think I've got it.
I'll just bet that...
if we follow those planets,
we'll find Planet X.
Gad! How do I do it?
I don't know.
I claim this planet
in the name of the Earth.
I claim this planet in the name of Mars.
- Isn't that lovely?
- Look, bud, I've got news for you.
I have already claimed
this bit of dirt for the Earth.
And there just ain't room enough
on this planet...
for the two of us.
I do believe you are right.
Little does he realize...
that I have on
my disintegration-proof vest.
You may fire when ready, grizzly.
Who? What? Where?
When? How? Who? Who? What?
Oh, you, huh?
Just when I had him going,
you had to butt in.
- Get back in that spaceship.
- Yes, sir, your heroship, sir.
Got the drop on you
with my disintegrating pistol.
And, brother,
when it disintegrates, it disintegrates.
What do you know? It disintegrated.
Happy birthday,
you thing from another world, you.
Thank you!
Well, I guess he's had enough.
I'll send him an ultimatum.
I'll see what the little stinker
is up to on my supervideo-detecto set.
That's the last straw!
Now, I use my secret weapon!
As I was saying, buster...
this planet ain't big enough
for the two of us.
So, off you go!
And now this planet is
hereby claimed for the Earth...
in the name of Duck Dodgers...
in the 24th and a half century!
Big deal.
I don't remember just how
Daffy got down from Planet X.
Maybe they had to shoot him down.
But, anyway, he's back at his old stand...
as the Errol Flynn of Duckdom.
I remember well the first time
he tried to sell himself...
as the logical successor to Errol.
Join up with me, so joyous and free
And away to old Sherwood hie
For I'm Robin Hood, and I'm very good
At avoiding the sheriff's eye
So we'll trip along merrily
Over the greensward so gracefully
To trip it, trip it, trip it, trip it
Trip it up and down
To trip it, trip it, trip it, trip it
Trip it! Whoops!
So trip it up and down
I'll ho-ho and ha-ha you, fat Friar.
With my trusty quarterstaff!
Actually, it's a buck-and-a-quarter
quarterstaff.
But I'm not telling him that.
Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin!
Thrust!
Let's see, now. Something amiss here.
I'll run through it.
Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin!
Thrust!
Got it.
Now, then.
Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin!
Knock it off.
How jolly can you get?
Prithee, old traveling clown...
coulds't thou directest me
to Robin Hood's hideout?
I woulds't fain join me up
with his band of jolly outlaws.
Look no further, good Friar,
for I am he for whoms't thou seekest.
I am Robin Hood!
Cut it out. I'm serious.
If you don't know where he is, just say so.
But honest and truly, I am Robin Hood!
Sure, you are.
Look, give me a chance, can't you?
I'll prove I'm Robin Hood.
See yon rich, unwary traveler?
I'll rob him of his gold
and give it to some poor unworthy slob.
That'll prove that I'm Robin Hood. Prithee?
Now, then, fatso...
watch as I put a cloth yard shaft
through his wishbone.
I'm watching, jester.
Why, I don't know
how I could have doubted you.
Shall we spend the gold all in one place?
Ho-ho. Very funny. Ha-ha. It is to laugh.
Yoicks and away!
Why, you...
Now, then, yoicks and away!
Now...
I'm sorry, but I can't join you.
I'm convinced you're just not Robin Hood.
Never mind joining me. I'll join you.
Shake hands with Friar Duck.
Well, Daffy decided
to have one more shot...
at the musketeer business.
But this time, he got involved
with a very mysterious opponent.
Namely, well, see for yourself.
Stand back, musketeers!
They shall sample my blade!
Touch!
Musketeers? En garde? My blade?
Whoever's in charge here...
the scenery! Where's the scenery?
Stand back, musketeers!
They shall sample... my... blade?
Okay, have it your way.
Daffy duck, he had a farm
E-I-E-I-O
And on this farm, he had an igloo
E-I-E-I-O
Would it be too much to ask
if we could make up our minds?
Dashing through the snow
Through the fields we go
Laughing all the way
Farewell to thee, farewell to thee
The wind will carry back our sad refrain
One last embrace before we say...
Buster, it may come
as a complete surprise to you...
to find that this is an animated cartoon...
and that in animated cartoons
they have scenery.
And in all the years I've...
All right, wise guy, where am I?
And I've never been
so humiliated in all my life!
Look, Mac, just what's going on
around here?
Let's get organized.
How about some scenery?
That's dandy. Ho-ho! That's rich, I'll say.
Now how about some color, stupid?
Hey!
Not me, you slop artist!
Where's the rest of me?
It isn't as though I haven't
lived up to my contract.
Goodness knows.
And goodness knows it isn't as though...
I haven't kept myself trim,
goodness knows.
I've done that. That's strange.
All of a sudden,
I don't quite feel like myself.
I feel all right, and yet I...
You know better than that!
Well?
Sea picture, hey?
I always wanted to do a sea epic.
Now, Mr. Rembrandt...
if you'll kindly oblige
with a little appropriate scenery...
Over the sea, let's go, men
We're shoving right off,
We're shoving right off
Again?
Come here! Give me a close-up!
This is a close-up?
A close-up, you jerk!
Thanks for the sour persimmons, cousin.
Now, look, buster,
let's have an understanding.
Now what?
Brother! What a way to run a railroad.
Now, then, as I was saying...
All right, let's get this picture started.
No!
Listen, pal, let's discuss this thing sanely.
Look, I tell you what.
You go your way, and I'll go mine.
Live and let live. Right? Right.
Ladies and gentlemen,
there will be no further delays.
So, I shall attempt to entertain you
in my own inimitable fashion.
Now what?
- What are you doing down there?
- Down here? What are you doing up there?
Down here.
Listen, bud, if you wasn't me,
I'd smack you right in the puss.
- Don't let that bother you, Jack!
- Okay, buddy, you asked for it!
Oh, brother! I'm a buzzboy!
Time to hit the old silk.
Geronimo!
All right, enough is enough!
This is the final, the very, very last straw!
Who is responsible for this...
I demand that you show yourself!
Who are you?
Ain't I a stinker?
Now, one of the problems
I always had with aminators, animators...
is that they can't ever seem
to tell the difference...
between a rabbit and a mole.
Very humiliating
having to burrow your way...
wherever you want to go.
And somehow, I always forgot
to take that left turn at Albuquerque.
Here I am!
Just a cotton-picking minute.
This don't look like
the Coachella Valley to me.
I knew I should have taken
that left turn at Albuquerque.
I'll just ask this gent
in the fancy knickerbockers.
I beg your par...
Pardon me, sir, but could you
direct me to the shortest route...
to the Coachella Valley
and the big carrot festival, therein?
What's up, doc?
Stop steaming up my tail!
What are you trying to do, wrinkle it?
Let's see, now. Coachella Valley.
Then to Las Vegas, San Bernadino...
Of course, you realize this means war.
Me public.
What a gulli-bull.
What a nim-cow-poop.
Pardon me, Mac.
Okay, Toro,
whenever you can spare the time.
Booby trap.
What an imbecile.
What an ultra-maroon.
Traveling alone can be boring.
Personally, I prefer to travel
with some foxy little rabbit chick.
Like Sophia here.
But...
I often found myself traveling
with that selfsame courteous...
even-tempered, unselfish, pushy,
self-serving, conceited...
self-made favorite of everyone
including himself...
Daffy Duck.
Close sesame.
Guard well this treasure, O Hasaan.
Or the jackal shall grow fat on thy carcass.
No one shall pass Hasaan.
Open.
Open sarsaparilla?
Open Saskatchewan?
Here we are.
Pismo Beach and all the clams we can eat!
What a way for a duck to travel.
Underground.
Wait a minute.
Since when is Pismo Beach inside a cave?
I wonder...
You know, I just bet we should have
turned left at Albuquerque.
Then maybe a right turn at La Jolla.
We can't be too far off.
- So, if we...
- It's mine, you understand?
Mine! All mine! Get back in there!
Down! Go! Mine!
What's up, duck?
I'm rich! I'm wealthy!
I'm comfortably well-off.
Open septuagenarian?
Open saddle soap?
Open sesame?
I'm in the money
La ta, the money
Ah! Redcap.
Call me a cab, boy, and be quick about it.
I'm a heavy tipper.
Quick! Save me, pal. And it's yours!
Gorgeous, isn't it? Don't be afraid.
Have it appraised anyplace.
- Proud punk.
- Hasaan chop!
Yeah? Chop the rabbit.
He brought us here.
Me genie, the light-brown hare.
O mighty genie!
Release me,
and I shall grant thee a rich reward.
He's lying! Chop him!
Hasaan release you, O Master!
Thank you, Hasaan.
Now, woulds't thou like to have...
all this treasure for thy very own?
Yes, Master. Hasaan like!
Very well.
It's yours.
I don't know. I have a feeling
that Pismo Beach ain't quite this wide.
Help! Help, save me, pal!
Save me! Help!
Hasaan chop!
- Help!
- Okay, Daff, back here.
- What's with you, anyway?
- I can't help it. I'm a greedy slob.
It's my hobby. Save me!
Hasaan chop!
Him go that-a-way.
- Is he gone?
- Yeah. I got rid of him.
Boy! I'm rich!
I'm wealthy! I'm independent!
I'm socially secure! I'm rich!
There. I think that's the last of it.
Just a quick check
to see if I missed anything.
What's this?
Polished up, it might bring
another quick four bits...
on the open market.
I am the genie of the lamp, O Master.
No, you don't! You want my treasure!
It's mine, understand?
All mine! Down! Go! Mine!
Duck, you have desecrated
the spirit of the lamp.
Prepare to take the consequences.
Consequences, schmonsequences.
As long as I'm rich.
I wonder how that crazy duck
ever made out with that genie?
What do you know? A pearl!
It's mine, you understand? Mine! All mine!
Go! Mine, do you hear me? Out! Mine!
Oh, brother! Close sesame.
I'm rich. I'm a happy miser.
I sometimes get the feeling
that the entire population of the world...
is made up of people who want to
shoot, fry, dice...
or parboil rabbits and/ or ducks.
For instance, old Elmer Fudd...
who, like so many
other brave sportsmen...
never seems really happy
unless he's protecting innocent citizens...
by shooting dangerous forest animals.
Like rabbits and ducks.
Be very, very quiet. I'm hunting rabbits.
Boy! Rabbit tracks!
Bugsy. Bugsy, pal.
There's a friend here to see ya.
Survival of the fittest.
And besides, it's fun.
Did someone knock?
What's up, doc?
Now I got you, you rabbit!
Say, doc, are you trying
to get yourself in trouble with the law?
- This ain't rabbit hunting season.
- It's not?
No. It's duck hunting season.
That, sir, is an inmitigated frabrication.
It's rabbit season!
- Duck season!
- Rabbit season!
- Rabbit season!
- Duck season!
- Rabbit season!
- I say it's duck season, and I say fire!
- Let's try that again.
- Okay.
- I'll start it this time.
- Right.
- Rabbit season!
- Duck season.
- Rabbit season!
- Rabbit season.
Duck season! Fire!
Okay, this time you start it.
Whatever you say.
- Rabbit.
- Duck! Fire!
What's the matter?
Everything's upside down.
Strange. Can't make heads or tails
of things.
Hey you! Come back here.
What do you know? No more bullets.
No more bullets?
Laughing boy, no more bullets.
No more bullets?
Here, let me see that thing.
What do you know? One bullet left.
One bullet left?
- Laughing boy, there was...
- I know, I know!
Devilishly clever.
What's up, doc?
Having any luck with those ducks?
It's duck season, you know?
Just a darn minute.
Where do you get that duck season stuff?
Says so right over there on that sign.
You're so smart.
You know what to do with that gun, doc.
You're despicable.
Yes, you're despicable and pickable...
and you're very definitely despicable!
How a person can get so despicable
in one lifetime is beyond me.
It isn't as though
I haven't met a lot of people.
Goodness knows it isn't that!
It isn't that... That...
Goodness knows it isn't... It's...
despicable.
"Filet of duck bordelaise maitre d' butter."
Yum, yum.
"Duck polonaise under glass."
"Rabbit au gratin de gelatin
under tooled leather."
Drool, drool.
"Barbecued duck meat
with broiled duckbill milanese."
Yummy yum.
"Chicken-fried rabbit
with cottontail sauce braised in carrots."
I'm sorry fellows, but I'm a vegetarian.
I just hunt for the sport of it.
Yeah?
There's other sports besides hunting,
you know?
Anyone for tennis?
Nice game.
Now you screwy rabbit, you're next.
All right, come out or I'll blast you out.
For shame, doc.
Hunting rabbits with an elephant gun.
- Elephant gun?
- That's right, doc.
So why don't you go
shoot yourself an elephant?
You do and I'll give you such a pinch!
Just wait till I get that screwy rabbit
and that screwball duck.
What's the big idea?
Why don't you look where you...
How simply dreadful.
You poor little man.
Did I hurt you with my naughty gun?
Shucks. Well, I...
Gypsy, you naughty bow-wow. Stop that.
Okay, rabbit, I see through that disguise.
Say your prayers.
You, too, duck.
- Rabbit season.
- Duck season.
- Rabbit season!
- Duck season!
Be very, very quiet. We're hunting Elmers.
Now here is a gentleman who knows
what chasing is all about.
He lives in France where
all good Americans go when they die.
And in France...
the onliest reason
for chasing anybody is for love.
Sacr maroon! Le help!
Assistansions! Gendarme!
Pouf, Jos. Gendarme can le fix.
Thank you, le gendarme.
Merci beaucoup, le thanks.
Sacr cerise!
Le pew!
Quelle terrible odeur!
Un smell-e-vous fine.
I am the bankrupt!
Le mew. Le purr.
Le pussy ferocious.
Remove that skunk.
That polecat pole from the premises.
A vec!
Quelle est-ce?
Le belle femme skunk fatale.
My little darling.
It is love at first sight, is it not?
No?
Do not come with me to the casbah.
We shall make beautiful music
together right here.
This little love bordel.
Now she is seeking for us a trysting place.
Touching, is it not?
Come, my little peanut of brittle.
I will help you.
Wait for me. Wait.
Where are you, pigeon?
I am looking for you.
I am going... Huh?
I missed, fortunately for you.
So now, mon cherie,
we can begin life anew.
C'est la guerre.
Hello, baby.
I am the locksmith of love, no?
Come, darling. We must be grown up
about this thing.
Do not run away from the love.
Here. What is this?
But of course.
This little one wish to commit suicide
to prove her love for me.
What a sweet gesture.
Nevertheless, I must prevent it.
Saved!
Vive I'amour! We die together.
I am not dead? No.
What's this? Is that you, pigeon?
Is that...
Pardon grand mama, but have you seen
a beautiful young lady skunk?
Where are you, pigeon?
I am looking somewhere to find you.
Rabbit, where are you?
Perhaps you have returned in here.
Are you here then, golden girl?
Who is this?
It is you again.
What can I do to help you?
Why do you lock the...
Oh, no!
Control yourself, madam.
You cannot be in earnest.
A joke, yes?
No?
You know, it is possible
to be too attractive.
Do you know what that was?
The Minute Waltz played in 30 seconds.
New world record.
There are people who just
don't like music, as I found out one day.
On a rainy night in Rio
A-rink a-dink a-dink
What do they do
when there is no starry sky
Oh, starry sky
Where do they go
when they can't go for a walk?
Do they stay home and talk
Or do they sit inside
What do they do in Mississippi
When skies are drippy
And what do they do in Tijuana
When they wanna snuggle tight
Well...
Music-hater.
She's a fancy stepper when she dances
Go and see her as she capers and prances
My gal don't do much talking
Dances even when she's walking
One and two and three and four
She dances all day long
My gal is a highborn stepper
Ginger with salt and pepper
She's a fancy stepper when she dances
Go and see her as she capers and prances
What's up, doc?
Also a rabbit hater.
Of course, you know, this means war.
- Leopold.
- Leopold.
- Leopold.
- Leopold.
Leopold!
Leopold.
You either hate opera or you love it.
I love it.
I loved it so much,
I took the entire 18 hours...
of Richard Wagner's Ring of Nibelung...
and squashed it down to seven minutes.
Be very quiet
I'm hunting rabbits
Rabbit tracks.
Kill the rabbit
Kill the rabbit
Kill the rabbit?
Yohoto
Yohoto
Yohoto
Yoho
Oh, mighty warrior of great fighting stock
Might I inquire to ask
What's up, doc?
I'm going to kill the rabbit
Oh, mighty hunter
it will be quite a task
How will you do it
might I inquire to ask?
I will do it
with my spear and magic helmet
Your spear and magic helmet?
- Spear and magic helmet
- Magic helmet?
Magic helmet
Magic helmet.
Yes. Magic helmet
And I'll give you a sample
Bye.
That was the rabbit.
Brunhilde
You're so lovely
Yes, I know it
I can't help it
Brunhilde
Be my love
Return my love
A longing burns deep inside me
Return my love
I want you always beside me
Love like ours must be
Made for you and for me
Return
Won't you return, my love?
For my love is yours
I'll kill the rabbit!
Arise, storm!
North winds blow! South winds blow!
Typhoons! Hurricanes! Earthquakes!
Smog!
White lightning, strike the rabbit!
What have I done?
I've killed the rabbit
Poor little bunny
Poor little rabbit
What did you expect in an opera,
a happy ending?
I will say this for Elmer.
He really doesn't want us for food.
He just does it 'cause he's a sportsman.
That's different than some people who
go hunting because they're really hungry...
like a coyote for instance,
who will eat anything...
including me.
What's up, doc?
Allow me to introduce myself.
My name is Wile E. Coyote, Genius.
I'm not selling anything
nor am I working my way through college.
So let's get down to cases.
You are a rabbit
and I am going to eat you for supper.
Now, don't try to get away.
I am more muscular, more cunning,
faster and larger than you are...
and I'm a genius...
while you could hardly pass the
entrance examinations to kindergarten.
So, I'll give you the customary
two minutes to say your prayers.
I'm sorry, Mac. The lady
of the house ain't home and besides...
we mailed you people a check last week.
Why do they always want
to do it the hard way?
Wile E., you genius.
You've done it again.
- What's cooking, doc?
- Rabbit stew.
I'm such a genius!
Smells mighty good!
But there's only one little thing wrong
with it.
- There is? What?
- No rabbit.
I'm looking over a three-leaf clover
That I overlooked be three
Back to the old drawing board.
Genius, that's what it is! Sheer genius!
Wile E. Coyote. Super genius.
I like the way that rolls out.
Wile E. Coyote. Super genius.
Wile E. Coyote.
Super genius.
Allow me to introduce myself.
My name is Mud.
And remember,
mud spelled backwards is "dum."
Even a genius gets
the message after a while...
and realizes that eating rabbit...
cooked or raw isn't such a smart idea.
Raw rabbit? What a revolting idea.
So old Wile E. decided that he'd
better pursue something more his size.
For instance...
How's that for a big production?
I'll bet even old Cecil B. De Mille
would be jealous of that one.
I'm sure old Neanderthal person
never envisaged anything like that...
when he started that very first chase.
But then if he hadn't invented the chase...
maybe, just maybe, laughter wouldn't
have been invented either...
and that, old buddies,
would have been a real loss.
Who knows?
Maybe, just maybe the whole universe
will get the idea...
and stars and suns, meteors and comets...
even galaxies will realize
how necessary laughter is...
and how much fun chases are.
And...
And finally, all will once again
be peaceful and quiet.
Or will it?
Yes?
Well?
After all, credits where credit is due.
Eat your heart out, Burt Reynolds.