Great Grand Masti (2016) Movie Script
1
Where are you going?
Pyari, wait up!
Pyari, don't go inside.
Oh god, she went in!
Have you gone mad?
How many times have I told you
not to loiter around this mansion!
Dad, Pyari..
-To hell with her!
Save your life and flee from here.
C'mon, do you want to die!
I've repeatedly told you
not to go there! You'll get killed!
C'mon!
"Fun and fro | ic.. great and grand!"
WOW!
"When my eyes fell on your hips,
a hoot escaped my | ips."
"My nights are spent
yearning for you."
"When my eyes fell on your hips,
a hoot escaped my | ips."
"My nights are spent
yearning for you."
"If you don't yield,
your heart will compel you."
"Come into my arms,
let's have some fun!"
"If you don't yield,
your heart will compel you."
"Come into my arms,
let's have some fun!"
"Fun and fro | ic.."
"Darling, throw a party first.
Darling, buy me a margarita."
"Darling, when it gets heady,
you can do whatever you want."
"Darling, take me on a long drive first.
Darling, gift me a diamond."
"Darling, take me to your parents,
then you can do whatever you want."
"When my eyes fell on your hips,
a hoot escaped my | ips."
"My nights are spent
yearning for you."
"When my eyes fell on your hips,
a hoot escaped my | ips."
"My nights are spent
yearning for you."
"If you don't yield,
your heart will compel you."
"Come into my arms,
let's have some fun!"
"If you don't yield,
your heart will compel you."
"Come into my arms,
let's have some fun!"
"Fun and fro | ic.."
"O baby, your looks are killer.
Different is your style."
"God must have made you on a Sunday.
O girl, you're mesmerising!"
"O baby, your looks are killer.
Different is your style."
"God must have made you on a Sunday.
O girl, you're mesmerising!"
"When my eyes fell on your hips,
a hoot escaped my | ips."
"My nights are spent
yearning for you."
"If you don't yield,
your heart will compel you."
"Come into my arms,
let's have some fun!"
"Fun and fro | ic.."
"Darling, throw a party first.
Darling, buy me a margarita."
"Darling, when it gets heady,
you can do whatever you want."
"Darling, take me on a long drive first.
Darling, gift me a diamond."
"Darling, take me to your parents,
then you can do whatever you want."
"When my eyes fell on your hips,
a hoot escaped my | ips."
"My nights are spent
yearning for you."
"If you don't yield,
your heart will compel you."
"Come into my arms,
let's have some fun!"
"Fun and fro | ic.."
How long has it been ringing?
Sir, the bell isn't ringing here,
but there.
Oh, sorry.
Have you had this problem before?
No.
Family history?
-Not at all.
Let me check.
My wife.
Hi baby!
Hi sweetheart!
Do you remember that
we've to visit the guru today?
Oh, I'm so sorry. I have
a patient waiting, I can't come.
But baby, I had told you
Listen up!
We've to leave for the
guru's place in an hour.
Damn yuu!
Stand straight.
-What did you say?
No, I mean I can't come.
Look, stop being stubborn.
Stop it, sir!
I won't!
You've to visit the guru or e | se..
Look, mom-in-law,
I'm not going to let you crush me!
Then get out of my house.
I'll be there in an hour.
-That's like it.
Oh, you're suffering from hernia.
I didn't have it before
the check-up, sir.
Life's changing every moment.
Somewhere life's pleasure,
somewhere it's pain.
Hence, live to the
fullest every moment.
This mood and moment
will never come back.
Out.. out run out!
Wow! The guru is sharing
such great knowledge.
He's not sharing knowledge,
but testing my patience.
Sire..
-Yes?
Since you've said that my late husband
wishes to return to this wor | d..
..that too through
my daughter's womb..
..I've made a total
donation of 12.5 millions.
See that? Her patience is
being put through a test of fire.
There has been no news of her beloved.
Yes, sire. Until dad doesn't
tell you the time of his arriva | ..
..I've not let him even touch
me until then, just like you advised.
The one who has to come, will come.
Damn your lie!
I mean, he'll be here in an hour.
It's already been six months.
Master, it's time
to contact the spirits.
Fearless and brave.
Your husband's name?
-RavL
Shastri, the cricketer?
Oh god, when did he die?
Ravi Mehra.
Ok, Mehra.
Come, let's find the road to love.
Come.. come..
What happened, sire?
The communication is breaking, I
think the offering was a little less.
No, don't do that!
I'm willing to spend.
Give it, dear.
Here, try once again.
Praise the lord!
Come.. come..
It seems the communication
is breaking again.
Don't stop,
I'm willing to give everything.
Come.. come..
Come.. come..
Come.. come..
Here he is. Shower him with petals!
Your beloved has arrived,
wearing slippers.
He's here?
-Yes, Ravi.
He's come?
-Yes.
Master, ask dad-in-law
about the time of his arrival.
Just a second.
Since you've arrived in the world,
you've to live.
If life's poison,
you'll have to drink it.
He says, between 7.00 to 7.30 p.m.
You'll have to keep your word, oldie.
And you'll have to
accept this blessing.
I'm not eating this.
Dare you refuse the guru!
Don't forget.
Yes, I know that I live in your house.
Yes.
I'll leave now.
Do come again.
Master, you've given him
a sweetmeat laced with opium..
..marijuana, hashish and heroin.
Now see him perform.
Darling, I'm ready.
What have you done to yourself?
What's with your look?
Mom, come quickly.
What is the matter?
Why are you shouting? -Look at this.
What have you done to yourself?
Aren't you ashamed?
Why are you spitting?
Have you gone mad?
Darling, why are you acting crazy?
I've been trying to explain to you
Don't bother,
he's not going to understand.
Baby, please.
It's time for dad's arrival. Hurry up.
Hurry up for what?
He's been bitted by a mad dog.
That's why he's behaving like this.
Please baby, hurry up.
But with whom?
Over here, the penthouse is beautiful
and the basement is dilapidated.
And here,
it's evergreen at the bottom.
..and barren at the top.
What?!
This guru has given
a very bad exchange offer.
I think it's up to me now.
You're going to be reborn today, baby.
Move!
Hey, why are you shouting?
Let's hack off the head, we'll celebrate
the wedding night after that.
Instead of inviting
my husband back home..
..you were trying
to send me to heaven!
Even the auspicious time has passed.
Tonight, you're going
to sleep here on the street.
Sir, when you see the penthouse..
..you' | | buy it immediately.
Hello?
Hey Prem,
sell-off my mansion at Doodhwadi.
I can't live at my
mom-in- | aw's house anymore.
Amar, I'm driving right now.
I'm with a client.
We'll talk later, 0k?
You're an expert con.
You manage to sell the worst houses.
What nonsense are you talking, Amar?
You're a rascal of the first order!
To earn your commission, you even
sell off a tenthouse for a penthouse.
Amar, what nonsense are you talking?
He was joking.
Here's your tent.. penthouse.
Amar, you scoundrel!
Amar, you moron!
Cursed dog! He ruined my deal!
Brother-in-law, statue! - Hi..
You've to remain stiff now.
Tick | e.. tick | e..
Tick | e.. tick | e..
Tick | e.. tick | e..
You shook!
You shook!
Sister, come quickly.
Look, Prem shook.
Sister, come fast. See, Prem shook.
What's this? Why are you screaming?
What's all the noise about?
See..
-Shut up!
Nothing.
It's good that you came. I
wanted to talk to you about something.
What is it?
I want some money.
How much?
Just a million.
A million! Have you gone mad?
Money doesn't grow on trees.
Actually,
Choti has a course in London.
She has to go and live
there for two months.
What?! Choti has to live
separately for two months?
Why didn't you tell me this earlier?
I'll try and sell
a house tomorrow itself.
Yeah! I'll go and tell
all my friends right away.
You're the best!
Bye, Prem.
Bye.
Your feelings for my sisten.
-Yes?
..I appreciate it a lot.
What do you mean?
She's my sister,
but you considered her your own..
..and agreed to give
her a million rupees.
Yes, but you don't
understand my feelings.
Since your sister came to live with us,
we've been living like siblings.
"Come, get into my blanket."
Welcome to my blanket.
Choti!
-Choti? Ignore her.
I can't ignore her.
No, please don't.. Choti!
What is it, Choti?
-I'm feeling very scared.
I saw a very bad dream.
I won't sleep alone.
I want to sleep between you and Prem.
What happened?
Sister, there's a rat in your bed.
It rubbed against me.
No, Choti. There is no rat on the bed.
There is. I want to check.
No, Choti..
-Yes.
Yes.
-No.
Choti, don't worry.
Even if there was a rat,
it ran back into the hole in fear.
Nisha, you both can sleep here,
I'll sleep outside. Ok?
What do I do? She's a kid,
she doesn't understand all this.
Just let her go to London once..
..and I promise that every night
will be a wedding night for us.
Really? If that is so..
..then I'll surely sell
the house to Pawan Lodha tomorrow.
Good morning,
Mr. and Mrs. Lodha. Welcome!
You won't find a better bungalow
than this to start your married life.
Come, I'll show you the
special features of this bungalow.
Please come.
-Sure.
See this,
a lake in front of the bungalow.
A valley in front of the lake.
And most important,
a hill in front of the valley.
Well, what's so special
about this hill?
This is the mountain where
if a man loudly shouts his name..
..then do you know what happens?
The hill replies
with his lover's name.
Wow! Really?
I'll try.
Please try.
Pawan!
Ritu.. Ritu!
Wow, Mr. Lodha!
Sorry.. see, I told you.
You're right.
Darling,
why don't you also try? Please.
Try, Mrs. Lodha.
Ritu!
Sahi | .. Vikas.. Mohit..
Shekhan. Ani | .. Ramesh.. Rohan..
Rakesh.. Suni | .. Moti..
Manoj.. Shee | a.. Sonia..
-Gir | s?
Pawan! Pawan!
Pawan!
-Pawan?!
Kancha.
Hey Amol! Chotu!
PaPP"~
Garbage collecton. Watchman..
Newspaper boy.. mi | kman..
Listen to me, Mr. Lodha.
Please save me, brother!
You're my friend.. I need a million.
I have to send my sister-in-law
to London for higher studies.
Please save me.
What is it? What are you staring at?
Is your mother getting married?
Get lost!
Bloody scoundrel! -Prem,
he's my customer. What are you doing?
Please save me.
Give me a million rupees.
Where do I bring a million from?
I'm just the manager of this hotel.
It doesn't belong to my father.
Prem, you should be happy.
-Why?
You have a hot sister-in-law
at home to feast your eyes on.
I have a bull in my house.
-Bull?
Yes, my brother-in-law.
He came down for two months to
participate in a wrestling competition.
He's been holed up in
my house for six months now.
Have you seen the movie 'Judwa'?
-Yes, why?
It's the same problem, man.
My wife and my brother-in-law
are twins. Cross-connection.
When I touch my wife..
..my brother-in-law gets hot.
Oh.. no..
Ouch
-Ouch!
What am I doing? Meet!
Oh god!
-Leave my sister alone!
Meet, you mean to say that
your life is hell too? -Yes.
Wife's calling.
Hi, darling.
Honey, guess what?
What?
Brother has gone out to
chill with his friends tonight.
And he's out the entire night.
The line's clear. Come home quickly.
Oh baby, I'm coming!
Prem..
-You got the one million?
No, my arrangements have been made.
You can sit here and
think about your withdrawal.
I'm going home to deposit.
To deposit.
Meet, you bloody cheat!
Oh baby, we've got
a chance after six months.
Your brother will party there..
..and we'll have fun
and frolic here all night.
Let's go wild, baby. Let's go wild.
You dog! How dare you mock my lisp!
Leave me! What are you doing?
Power slam!
Oh god, they're shattered!
I'm done for!
Baby baby
Baby.. -I'm not fit
to give you a baby anymore.
I'm so sorry.
Gently, dude!
I'm doing it.
It's gangrene.
-Gangrene?!
We'll have to chop it off.
-Chop?!
Prem, scissors.
-Yes, doctor.
Here, doctor.
-What are you doing?
Solve his problem in one snipe.
Prem, hold his hands.
-Yes, doctor.
No way! Nobody's chopping
anything, get it?
You guys are such rascals.
You're mocking my condition.
You went to deposit,
but returned with your account closed.
I asked you for a
million and you refused.
You want a million?
-Yes.
I'll give it.
-ReaHy?
Yes, just sell my
mansion in Doodhwadi.
After a 99-year lease,
it's finally come to me.
Will you take another
hundred years to sell it?
No, I'll call up right away.
Hello, I'm Dalal speaking.
You.. Mr. Dalal, what happened
to the mansion at Doodhwadi?
Sir, I'm standing
outside your mansion.
But I don't know why
nobody's willing to come here.
But you don't worry.
I won't rest till I
generate some leads today.
Hurry up or..
Sir, the client is here.
I'll hang up now.
Welcome, sir.
Please come.
Welcome, sir.
This mansion is very
old and badly maintained.
Oh sir, this was a palace
for the kings in the olden days.
Just take a step in.
Come.. come, my darling.
Come inside, my dear.
Come in, just once.
Just once..
No, I don't feel like it.
Let's check out some other bungalow.
Sir.. listen to me, sir..
Can I get some tea! Tea please!
Nobody even asks me
for tea in this house.
Sir, your tea.
But who are you?
I'm your new maid, Shiney.
Nice name.
Here's some fritters
to go with the tea.
The aroma is nice.
Wow, the fritters are delicious.
You deserve a tip.
Here's fifty bucks. -No, sir..
C'mon, keep it.
The fritters are very nice.
I've never eaten such
fritters in my life.
Just a minute. Here..
Hundred.. two.. keep this.
-No..
Keep it.
-Thank you. .
Such delicious fritters. wow!
Keep this. Take it.
What a.. fritter!
Enough, sir. My blouse will tear open.
Then let it tear.
What is this for, sir?
If your blouse tears,
you can use this to stitch it.
C'mon, sir.. had I known
that it's so easy to make money..
..then I'd have returned
from Doodwad earlier itself.
Doodhwadi?
-Yes, my village.
Doodhwadi is my village too.
ReaHy?
-Yes.
Then it's my duty to serve you nicely.
Tell me, what all can I do for you?
Thank you for calling us over, buddy.
Enjoy the show, my friends.
"I floored you by wearing lipstick."
"I looked into your eyes,
it caused a heart attack."
"O dar | ing.. O dar | ing.."
"O dar | ing.. O dar | ing.."
"I floored you by wearing lipstick."
"I looked into your eyes,
it caused a heart attack."
"O dar | ing.. O dar | ing.."
"O dar | ing.. O dar | ing.."
"You look awesome and fashionable."
"You sculpt your figure in the gym,
only to kill us."
"Your booty like apples.
Your legs compliment them."
"Your lips are like candy,
I feel helpless."
"Come, it's a season of love.
There's no reason to abstain."
"Open up..
open the door to your heart."
"You're a hottie,
my desires are naughty."
"Come, let's get flirty.
Give in to your emotions."
"C'mon, my sexy lady,
let's make some love tonight."
"You've got me going crazy.
I wanna hold you tight."
"O dar | ing.. O dar | ing.."
"O dar | ing.. O dar | ing.."
"You floored me by wearing lipstick."
"You looked into my eyes,
it caused a heart attack."
"O dar | ing.. O dar | ing.."
"O dar | ing.. O dar | ing.."
"I floored you by wearing lipstick."
"I looked into your eyes,
it caused a heart attack."
"O dar | ing.. O dar | ing.."
"O dar | ing.. O dar | ing.."
"..by wearing lipstick."
"I floored you.."
Bloody Amar 'Sucking' Saxena!
Your mom-in-law screwed
up all our moods today.
She just screwed up the mood today.
Normally, she gangs up
with the guru and screws me.
And that guru presents
song verses as his teachings.
..and is making a fool out of my wife.
Be grateful that atleast your
wife doesn't have a twin brother.
I plug one's phone and
the other's battery gets charged.
The common saying is that
the sister-in-law is half a wife.
In my case,
the brother-in-law is half a husband!
Don't talk about the sister-in-law.
My sister-in-law is not a bone in
the throat but a juicy steak herself.
When she was young, she'd
sit on the lap and eat a lollypop.
Now when she sits on the | ap..
--ml lolly pops out.
This is the first bed in the wor | d..
..where my wife's
sister sleeps with us.
Our condition is such
that forget the feast.
..we don't even get regular meals!
Friends, I have an idea.
I have a great, grand idea!
No, no.
-Yes, yes.
No, no.
-Yes, yes.
No, no..
-Shut up!
We're going to enjoy
a feast this time.
This time we won't be playing
golf with downtown gir | s..
..but playing softball
with village belles instead!
Village? Which village?
Doodhwadi.
That's my native.
Why Doodhwadi?
Because in Doodhwadi, the
moment someone buys your bunga | ow..
..you can bid goodbye
to your mom-in-law's house.
We'll only sell his
bungalow at Doodhwadi.
How will we get to
relish a rural feast?
In Doodhwadi, there isn't just
one Shiney, but thousands of Shineys.
Smiling Shiney,
washing Shiney, bathing Shiney..
Towelling Shiney..
A Shiney here and a Shiney there!
What do you think?
-Correct.
We'll get to enjoy in Doodhwadi on
the pretext of selling the bungalow.
Yes. And this time it
won't just be fun and fro | ic..
..but great fun and frolic!
Such great fun and frolic that
the world will be left wide-eyed.
Wide-eyed!
-Wide-eyed!
So Doodhwadi, here we come.
Doodhwadi?
-Yes.
It's your ancestral bungalow,
you go to sell it yourself.
It's your friend. You can go
and get pally in such a rotten place.
Is this Doodhwadi
even marked on the map?
I told you, whether we go to
Doodhwadi or up the donkey's rear..
..it won't make a
difference to our wives.
Yes, wives become
suspicious only when
..we go to Bangkok for work.
Hey, look ahead!
Are you alright?
-Yes, I am.
Ok, step outside. Let's check the car.
Open it.
-It's hot.
Oh no, it's badly damaged.
-Shit!
That reminds me,
I want to shit urgently.
You want to shit in such a time!
Go there, behind the rocks.
-Water..
What do we do now?
Waten.
ControL.
Oh my god! Snake! Snake!
What happened?
Why are you screaming snake?
A snake bit me on the butt.
-What?
The poison has already
started spreading. -Oh god!
I'm feeling giddy.
I'm going to die.
-No, nothing will happen to you.
I'm there. We'll think of something.
There must surely
be a way to save you.
There's one way.
- What?
You both have to suck the
venom out of my butt. - What?!
Have you gone mad?
I'm not going to suck your butt.
The poison is taking effect.
The world is vanishing before my eyes.
Everything around me is darkening.
Remove your goggles,
the darkness will disappear.
For the sake of our friendship,
please suck on it.
Why did the snake have
to bite you on the butt!
Thank god the snake
bit him on the butt..
..think what you'd have to suck
on if it bit him on the front! -Oh no!
Goodbye, I'm going.
Wait, we'll suck on it.
Meet, suck it.
-Ok.
What? Why should I suck?
You're an expert at sucking.
Remember how you used
to suck your thumb as a kid.
You're no less of
an expert at sucking.
I've seen you suck out entire
mango and leave behind the seed.
Those were mangoes, but this
is a watermelon. C'mon, suck it.
People die laughing,
I'm going to die shitting.
Suck it, you rascals!
Yes, we'll suck it. Bend down.
I'll suck it.
You idiot,
you weren't bitten by a snake.
A 'coctus' was stuck to your rear.
-Cactus.
Yes, cactus.
I've been saved!
You nearly died.
And I nearly sucked.
Hey, it's a wagon!
Wait! Wait!
Doodhwadi!
Thank you, sir.
Doodhwadi.
Let's milk this opportunity, guys.
Village belles..
-Smooth like butter.
Look at that.
Beautiful pots.
DoodhwadL. Doodhwadi, I love you!
I love Doodhwadi. I love pottery.
I love pottery.
I love your beautiful pots.
Yughurt!
WOW!
Creamy yoghurt!
Doodhwadi.
Thank you, sir.
-Doodhwadi.
Guys, let's milk this opportunity.
Village be | | es..
-Sta | e as bread.
What to do now?
Look at that.
Doodhwadi. I don't like Doodhwadi.
A pot of gold in the dreams..
-Is shockingly old in reality.
Oh god, where have you brought us!
Even the yoghurt!
Drink some yoghurt, dear.
No way!
You drink, dear.
I don't want your yoghurt.
Every packet of milk
here has expired ages ago.
Forget the milk, even the
yoghurt here is a century old.
Is this your native
place or the Jurassic park?
Where are all the young girls?
I'll tell you!
All the young girls of the
village have gone to the city..
..to work as maids.
What?!
-What?
Who are you?
I'm the chieftain
of this village, Ramsay.
What? Your name is Ramsay?
Yes. We were three brothers.
Ramsay brothers. Two went away..
..I'm the only one left, Ramsay.
How did your brothers die?
They haven't died!
They went to the city to work.
By the way, why have you
come to this barren, deserted..
..graveyard of a village? Why?
Brother Ramsay,
we've come here on some work too.
I want to sell my ancestral bungalow.
Which bungalow?
This one.
Satan's area! Old bungalow!
Terror! The chime of the anklets!
What's all this?
Titles of horror films.
But films are inspired by real life.
The mansion that you've
come to sell is haunted.
Amar, I think that,
just like your guru..
..this guy is also
making a fool out of us.
Ramsay, please explain in detail,
whatever it is you're harping about.
This story is about Ragini.
MMS?
-No, SMS.
SMS?
-Simp | e, marvelous and sexy.
Ragini's beauty was
the talk of the village.
Men wrote her letters in blood.
But to keep all the sinners
away from her daughten.
..her father stood
at the door of their house.
The posse of men ended
up waving their hands.
But the day of the
union never arrived.
Ragini suppressed
the hunger of her youth.
Poor Ragini,
quietly endured everything..
..because her father
had a long stick in his hand.
Neither did she get a cucumber,
nor did she p | ay..
..hide and seek in the arms of a man.
I agree that it's a flashback,
but is the rhyming required?
This is a style of
narrating the story..
..without which
everything is just bland.
Don't irritate, come to the point!
The guys yearning for Ragini spread
false stories about lions attacking..
..but her father didn't budge.
Then one day, rea | | y..
-The lion attacked?
No, a snake attacked.
But taking it to be a lie,
Ragini's father didn't come.
Daughten.
No... no..
This is where the
story should have ended.
But when she died,
Ragini's youth was yet to blossom.
Any man would do for her,
whatever be his faith or creed.
All that Ragini's soul
wants is a wedding night.
Guys, one shouldn't mock
at a dead person like this.
What if the story turns out to be true?
-Shut up.
You coward! Ghost are not real.
Now I know why it was proving
hard to sell your mansion. -Yes.
It's due to these
baseless horror stories.
Come, let's ask
someone for directions.
Get lost, blanket-man!
Where are you going?
Don't go to Ragini's mansion.
Don't go!
Wow, Amar. This is quite big.
It's a cat, you coward!
Hey Meet, switch on the torch.
Let's find the switchboard.
Why aren't the lights turning on?
It's a village,
there must be a power cut.
Don't worry, come.
Even the torch isn't working now.
This torch is torturing us.
You've arrived.
You all have finally arrived.
I've been waiting for long.
For us?
For anyone..
..who'd enter this house.
So many years..
I've been waiting for so many years.
This is my house. Who are you?
I'm Shabri.
Shabri. Tell us, Shabri.
What do I tell you, sir?
An orphan like me makes
any available shelter her home.
My story is a very tragic one, sir.
Very tragic.
If you hear it, your eyes will water.
It's my mouth that is watering.
I lost my mother in chi | dhood..
..and her burden fell on my chest.
In my youth, I lost my father.
Even the burden of his
responsibilities, fell on my chest.
You can't see, sir.
How much burden I carry on my chest!
Yes, we can see.
If you wish, we can even lift it.
Only if you wish.
What?
Thank you, sir. Thank you.
I had just taken refuge
here all these days.
If you permit,
shall I start working here?
Working?
Don't refuse, sir.
I'll do all your work.
I'll fulfill all
your needs and desires.
Not just my age,
even my sleep is tender.
Even if you call at midnight,
I'll come running.
I'll do what you say.
I'll do where you say.
I'll do it the way you say.
Enough, girl. Are you going
to take a promotion on joining day?
Your job's confirmed.
ReaHy?
-Yes.
I'll prepare a meal
for you all right away.
And clean up the whole house.
-Ok.
How could you appoint her like this?
We don't know whether
she's lying or not.
There should be some
reason to believe her.
There is.
Didn't you see the two big reasons?
And if god wants,
I'll show you the third reason soon.
Correct. So what if there's
no Shiney in the village?
We have a Shabri at home.
Yes!
Yes!
But we are three.
May the best man win!
May the best man win!
-May the best man win!
"Your love possesses me like a ghost."
"My heart is stuck on you,
like a bloody foo | ."
"It's been waiting
helplessly since long."
"You never meet,
despite all the promises."
"Where are you?
Where are you after prepping me up?"
"With a silk scarf around your neck,
come and meet me.."
"..I stand outside the club,
my eyes lined with kohl from Delhi."
"Silk scarf.."
"Move it.. let me do my thing."
"You're the hottest,
get on the floor."
"My heart is stuffed
with love for you."
"You're good luck
as well as good news."
"Don't misuse me, O miss.
I just want to say."
"O darling, why are you so hyper?
Step on the brakes of your heart."
"I just want to say.."
"Where are you?
Where are you after prepping me up?"
"With a silk scarf around your neck,
come and meet me.."
"..I stand outside the club,
my eyes lined with kohl from Delhi."
"Silk scarf.."
"Move it.. let me do my thing."
"You're the hottest,
get on the floor."
"How long will you keep me yearning,
trapped in your grip?"
"The poor lover is on tenterhooks,
I just want to say."
"O darling, I'm good and you're fine.
I'm yours and you're mine."
"I just want to say."
"Where are you?
Where are you after prepping me up?"
"With a silk scarf around your neck,
come and meet me.."
"..I stand outside the club,
my eyes lined with kohl from Delhi."
"Silk scarf.."
Stop, Amar! Where are you taking her?
Shabri, my patience is running out.
Nab him!
-Wait!
Amar, you coward!
-Amar, you coward!
Open the door.
-Open the door.
Don't worry,
this loser won't take much time.
He's two-minute noodles.
Yes, he's quick-gun Murugan.
Fire.. fire.. misfire!
See, your friends are getting worried.
Meet isn't worried for you,
but his medicines.
Medicines?
What's wrong with him?
He has a problem getting up.
Getting up? But his legs appear fine.
It's not about his legs,
but somewhere else.
Actually,
it's always 6.30 on his watch.
I didn't understand.
His gadget doesn't work.
Oh god, poor guy!
That guy is pooren.
he.. what's his name? -Who?
That fat guy with buck teeth,
who laughs in a weird manner.
That ugly fat thing.
Prem?
-Yes, Prem.
He needs prayers along with his pills.
Why? What happened to him?
He's on his..
What?
..way out.
It's a venereal disease that even
Dr. Gupta couldn't cure.
Venereal disease?
Oh god, he even touched me.
Oh poor girl, this disease
doesn't spread by touching.
Only love spreads by touching.
But if you still want, I'll check you.
What the
What happened to you?
I'll get some water for you.
Look, what happened to him?
Forget him, are you all right?
I'm fine, look at him.
We'll look at him later, first you.
Come.
Come soon.
You rascal, just five minutes
with Shabri and you're so heated up.
She's a very hot chick, man.
She shook him up so
bad that he's still shaking.
You vibrator!
She's here.
Here, drink some water.
What's the matter? Take the glass.
You take your medicines too.
Medicines?
Shabri, it's Amar who is ill, not me.
No need to hide.
Amar told me everything.
Your clock is always stuck at 6.30.
That's a lie! You liar!
He's lying.
I'm He-man.
Ask Prem if you don't believe me.
Meet, now that Shabri has found out,
why deny it?
Tell her that you're impotent.
Rascal, you turned
out to be a liar too.
You rascals,
have some respect for our friendship.
Meet, shut up.
-Ok.
Shabri, did this guy
say anything about my clock?
No.
I knew that there can't
be a truer friend than him.
But he told me about
your venereal disease.
With a friend like him,
who needs enemies!
I don't have any venereal disease.
And neither is it 6.30 on my clock.
The truth is that the needle
on his clock is very tiny.
Yes. And I've seen him stuff
socks in his underwear many times.
ReaHy?
-Yes.
What?
- Yes.
Actually, I've grown only
vertically since 2nd grade.
Not horizontally.
I agree friends that
it's difficult to believe.
But check the mirror once
and you'll know the truth.
Let go.
Forget the mirror, let me measure.
Thank you, Amar, for opening my eyes.
I agree,
I suffer from a venereal disease.
Not just me, my whole family
suffers from a venereal disease.
Meet, listen to us.
Look at the mirror.
Prem, shut up.
-No kidding.
I look at the mirror everyday.
Shabri, as far as
manliness is concerned..
..the truth is that
there's no greaten.
No greaten.
No greaten. no greaten.
No greater what?
No greater wuss than me.
It's always 6.30 on my clock.
Friends, when all our
truths has been exposed..
..then why not go out for a walk?
Shabri, just coming.
Aren't you coming, Meet?
-Coming.
"Silk scarf.."
Neither do you have any problems,
nor am I Shabri.
Because my name is Ragini.
Run!
I've waited for 50 years.
My time has finally come!
Run!
Come, dearie.. let's have fun.
Come, let's have a grand time.
Open up.. open up..
No, let's have great fun and frolic.
Run for your lives!
Without fulfilling my desires.
..if any of you tries
to flee from here..
..then you'll keep
getting such shocks.
You've come here of your own wi | | ..
..but you'll go when I will.
The one among the three
of you who has fun with me..
..wi | | have to die
and go to heaven with me.
Without which, neither will I find
salvation, nor will you get freedom.
The cheap oranges have proven costly.
Now only our ashes
will leave this place.
Serves us right for wanting
to have great, grand fun!
This ghost won't let the
three of us leave this place alive.
One of us will have to sacrifice
himself and sleep with her.
On one hand, it's my life.
On the other hand, it's those two.
My friends, my brothers.
The decision is very simple.
Let them die.
It's working.
Prem, have this.
I prepared your favourite yoghurt.
Who knows if there's a tomorrow!
Don't say such things, pal.
Don't lose hope.
We'll surely find a way out.
What if we don't?
Then we have sandwiches.
-Sandwich?
I mean..
-Sit.
How can we think on an empty stomach?
Just like how you prepared
our favourite yoghurt.
I prepared your favourite sandwiches.
Your sandwich?
-I ate mine.
Your yoghurt?
-I drank it long back.
Eat.
-Drink.
Wow, friends!
Since you both were working so hard..
..how could I stay behind?
I prepared your
favourite sweet pudding.
People eat sweets in celebration
..we' | | eat it in grief.
Your bowl?
-I don't eat sweets.
You both know it.
Eat it.
Drink. -Eat.
Drink. -Eat.
Nice, eh?
How is the pudding?
Liked it?
-Yes.
Eat it all.
Wow, Amar! The yoghurt is amazing.
Rascal, what did
you mix in the yoghurt?
Viagra.
-What?!
Sorry, friends, actually I
had to stoop down to make you rise.
Scoundrel, you're not
the only one who stooped | ow..
..and we're not the
only ones who have risen.
Meaning?
Meaning, there was viagra in the
sandwich too, not just the yoghurt.
What?!
And even the pudding.
What?!
Damn!
Hurry UP-
Quietly. Not a word.
"Baby, come to me.
The night is young."
"Why don't you love me more?
Where do you go?"
"I' | | show you a good time,
take you to heaven."
"In life, you need to take risks."
"I want your | ove..
your | ove.. your love, O beloved!"
"I want your | ove..
your | ove.. your love, O beloved!"
"I want your.."
"I want your.."
"Don't go away. Come to me, O dear."
"Only worry,
your body yearns and so does my soul."
"My soul yearns."
"My soul yearns."
"Don't go away. Come to me, O dear."
"Only worry,
your body yearns and so does my soul."
"I won't let go today.
I'll revel in the chill."
"I won't let any of your tricks work."
"I want your | ove..
your | ove.. your love, O beloved!"
"I want your | ove..
your | ove.. your love, O beloved!"
"I tore up the calendar
that kept a count of your wait."
"Shower me with your love now,
O darling!"
"Shower me with your love."
"Shower me with your love."
"I tore up the calendar
that kept a count of your wait."
"Shower me with your love now,
O darling!"
"Two is better than one,
three is better than two."
"Come, let's fall in love."
"I want your.."
"I want your | ove..
your | ove.. your love, O beloved!"
"I want your | ove..
your | ove.. your love, O beloved!"
Oh damn! We're dead!
How do we escape the
effects of the viagra?
Think of something bad. Something
disgusting, distasteful. -Ok.
Disgusting? Just a minute.
What?
You rascal, you're looking at your
mom-in-law's photo in this condition!
Disgusting.. disgusting!
Even my breath goes limp in
front of her, the pole is nothing.
It worked!
I too have an idea.
It worked for you too!
Hey, I also have an idea.
That was a bad idea.
Careful, man!
Wow, buddy!
I saw a piano being played
with a flute for the first time. -Yes.
Hariprasad Chaurasia meets Beethoven.
Do you know any other songs?
Prem, is everything fine?
You're upset as if
you broke something.
Here, bandage it.
Bandage? It's totally bent out here!
I'm following you around like crazy..
..and you guys are hiding from me!
Ragini, I was ready for fun.
But what to do, I'm slightly injured.
My stomach is upset.
My mind is upset.
I mean, a headache.
Stop making excuses.
You don't know about my powers.
Had I wanted, I could have
made you do anything. Anything.
But it's not fun if it's forced.
Moreover,
you'll have to fulfill my wish.
Or e | se..
I'm ready.
ReaHy?
Have you gone mad, Prem?
If you do something with her..
Life isn't great anyway.
There can't be a more beautiful
way to commit suicide.
I'm ready, ma'am.
Are you sure?
-Yes.
Tonight at 9 pm,
wait for me in your room.
Just a minute.
Hold your tongue until then
and give me time for recovery.
Really? I understood.
We'll meet directly at night.
Prem, my friend.. my brothen.
We'll miss you after
returning to Mumbai, buddy.
Meet, let's pack our bags.
-Yes.
Just a minute,
let's take a photo of his. -Why?
We'll need it for Prem's photoframe.
-Shut up.
I'm not going to do
anything with her. -What?
Then why did you commit to her?
What was the need to take
a stray arrow on your butt?
Shut up.
Friends, I have an idea.
-Oh no!
Babu Rangeela.
Very loose in character.
The gigolo of the village.
Male prostitute.
Male prostitute?
Yes. Even if there has to
be a sacrifice, it need not be us.
He charges 5000 for each visit.
I offered him 50,000.
50,000?
We don't have to pay him anyway.
Once he does it, he's gone.
Prem, you're a genius.
Hi, guys!
Myself, Babu Rangeela.
This guy? Can he do it?
Hey! Don't underestimate
Babu Rangeela.
My clientele is spread far and wide.
Look at this item.
Deepika?
Katrina!
Sunny Leone.
Sunny Deal?!
Actually,
I showed you the wrong album.
I'm a fan of these people.
I'll show you the client album.
-It's 0k, let it be.
Look, there's no dearth of money.
But come what may,
don't change your mind.
Once I commit,
he doesn't listen to me either.
Wow, that's great!
Sir, please wait inside.
She'll be there in a moment.
Hurry up, I don't have time.
This fish took the bait.
Come, let's pack our bags. -Yes.
Surprise!
-Hi, baby!
Just when we got rid of one witch,
three more have arrived!
Dar | ing..
-Dar | ing..
What a pleasant surprise!
How come you're here?
You must be tired. Sit down.
Come, sit.
Did you three think
why we've come here?
Why have you come here?
It's Karva Chauth
(festival) tomorrow.
So we wanted to surprise
the three of you.
Karva Chauth. How sweet!
We can't stay away
from you on such days.
Hello! How much longer
will you make me wait?
Who is he?
Who is he?
-Who is he? Tell them.
He's come to buy the mansion.
Oh, he's come to buy the mansion.
These three can't be relied upon.
If this mansion has to be sold,
then we only have to do something.
Come.
Listen to me.
Hello.
-He | | o.
Are you an agent?
Hey! I'm not an agent,
you can say 'customer' instead.
Oh.. Ok, look,
the structure is in front of you.
Tell me, how do you like it?
I loved it.
I'm ready, come.
Really? Then shall
we discuss the money?
They've already discussed that.
The deal has been finalised at Rs.
50,000. Come.
50,000? Have you lost your mind?
It should atleast be 50 million.
50 million?!
Look at his face.
Even 60 million is not much for him.
- Absolutely.
60 millions!
60 millions! Nobody in my
family has ever earned that much.
Sir, are you fine?
Sir..
-60 million!
What has happened to him?
Didn't you hear? His whole
family hasn't earned that much.
These beggars just drop
by to check out the house.
Baby, let him be.
Why don't you go and freshen up?
Yes, we'll take care of him.
Ok? Go on.
He wasted so much of our time.
Let's go.
Yes, go.
What about him?
Betrayal!
You betrayed me!
You promised to have fun with me
and called your wives over instead.
No, we didn't call them.
He.. he brought them here.
-Yes.
He's the bone in the throat.
He brought them here
so that we couldn't have fun.
You don't worry, I'll punish him
when he regains his senses.
You don't have to do
all that with me around.
Do you guys really
want to have fun with me?
Are you saying this out of fear?
No, true lust knows no fear!
Really? Then come.
No?
No, I mean.. won't it be
awkward with the wives around?
If we three can't have fun,
then how can you have fun?
Once they leave, we'll do as you wish.
Until then,
you'll have to wait a little.
Don't worry.
I won't have to wait for long.
Friends, let's do one thing.
Let's tell our wives that
there's a ghost here. -Yes.
Yes.. and also tell them..
..that we wanted to have
a good time with that ghost.
Now that ghost wants to have
a great and grand time with us.
Oh god, I'm tired of this problem.
Tired?
-Yes, don't trouble me.
Here, the three of us have prepared
a tasty meal for the two of you.
Eat it.
Yes, we will.
What are you staring at? Dig in!
Oh.. now even they're
asking you to dig in.
Don't worry, darlings.
Neither can they see me, nor hear me.
How can you all resist it?
It looks so tempting.
These guys aren't going to
eat vegetarian when there's chicken.
Where did you get this chicken from?
It was loitering in the balcony,
we caught and slaughtered it.
Babu!
Rangeela. The rascal deserved it.
Look, eat what you want.
But the breast piece
is for my husband.
It's his favourite.
Is it?
-Oh!
Favourite?
Darling,
why didn't you tell me earlier?
Don't eat if you don't want to,
atleast don't make faces.
Ok, forget it.
Meet loves the leg piece.
Come what may, he never skips it.
Don't leave it today either.
Stop. Stop. Please stop.
Don't stop. Don't stop.
Nobody is forcing you.
You too can leave it if you want.
Leave it.
Please.
Ok, no problem.
Amar will eat the chicken.
No, I don't want to each chicken.
-Why?
It's Saturday today.
Yes.
-I' | | eat the noodles.
Oh, chew with your mouth closed.
What's wrong with the three of you?
We prepared the meal so lovingly
and you three are misbehaving.
Damn disgusting! Let's go from here.
Yes, let's go.
Rekha..
-Nisha.. Listen to me, Nisha.
Actua | | y..
-I don't want to hear anything.
Shut up!
-Listen to me.
Nisha..
First you insulted our food.
Who knows what else you'll do now!
Nisha, you beauty,
I can't resist your booty.
Sorry, I didn't..
Rascal, how dare you
molest your friend's wife!
I can't even think like
this about my friend's wife.
Rekha, time for some fun.
You! He's outraging my modesty
and you're doing nothing about it.
Hey! You rascal, how dare
you molest your friend's wife!
Dar | ing.. Hey dearie..
I told you to save my modesty,
not outrage her.
Sapna, why cover up?
Get a taste of Meet too.
You rascal, I couldn't
imagine that you'd stoop so low.
Get lost!
Sorry, baby.
Even I couldn't imagine
that you all would stoop so low.
We're not going to
stay here a moment longer.
Get out! C'mon, let's go from here.
Baby.. listen to me..
there's some misunderstanding
Listen to me, Rekha!
Nisha!
-Rekha!
Sapna!
Please believe us, dear.
We don't know how this is happening.
We always wanted to..
..outrage your modesty!
Baby, don't go.
If you stop, I'll hack off your legs.
0h god!
Listen to me, dear.
Or I'll stick a broom on your butt.
You'll dance like a peacock
for the rest of your life.
Hey Raju, get the broom!
Get the broom!
Broom?
These guys have gone mad.
Let's run from here, c'mon.
Baby.. wait..
"Silk scarf.."
Ragini, were you doing all this?
I told you,
you wouldn't have to wait for long.
Baby! Wait up!
Dar | ing..
careful, the gates are electrified.
No?
No!
Run!
The gates aren't electrified.
What type of current
is this that hits only us?
Is this is a house or a circus?!
What have you been upto,
you good-for-nothing!
It's a circus, mom.
They were misbehaving
with us while we were here.
After we left,
they got busy with each other.
What are you doing?
Why are you holding my hand?
All of you?
-Here?
Very bad, Prem.
All of us came to give you a surprise.
I thought that all of us
would holiday together as a family.
Yes, then we met sister on the way.
She told us about your antics.
Now you've seen
everything for yourself.
There's no need for
us to stay here now.
Come.
-Wait.
Nobody is going anywhere.
It's quite late.
We're all staying here.
But mom..
-Don't worry.
I'll keep an eye on them.
All the men will sleep in one room.
All the women will sleep in another.
If any of you misbehaves..
..I' | | break your legs!
C'mon!
What bad luck!
First, it was just our wives.
Now, even the relatives are here.
-Yes.
Who knows when we'll come together.
Shut up!
You three have fooled me enough.
To hell with the fun!
Now it's going to be forced.
Prem, come here.
What if I possess your sister-in-law?
Prem..
..what if sister sees
us getting hanky-panky?
No.. no.. no hanky-panky!
Amar, come here.
What if I possess your mom-in-law?
I'll relive my youth on this pretext,
darling. -No.
Meet, what if I possess
your brother-in-law?
Lakshman!
Then it'll rip you apart.
No!
-Yes.
N9, no!
Oh man, what is this!
You got scared!
Not just scared, I freaked out.
Not just him, all of us freaked out.
What is it?
Your friend's brother-in- | aw's photos.
If he pins down a man,
he wears him out.
Look at how he grips from the front!
Grips what?
-See this.
His bear hug is beyond comparison.
That's bad.
If he locks them in his thighs, even
the strongest would fall. See this.
RiP IOU apart!
Meet!
It's time to go to sleep.
We'll hug tightly and sleep.
It'll be great fun.
I need to pee.
-I' | | join you.
We'll do it together.
-Get lost!
Meet!
Ragini.. where are you?
You've won, I've lost. Ragini!
"Silk scarf.."
"..tied around the neck.."
Oh shit! Ragini is
inside Amar's mom-in-law.
No, I won't be able to do it.
Meet, climb up the gallow
or Lakshman will climb on you.
What are you doing here?
I'm ready to do it.
What?
That which you always wanted.
What are you doing?!
You're stripping in front of me!
You're getting naked!
What are you doing?!
I'm getting ready to make love.
Look, I don't have much time.
Take your clothes off quickly.
What?!
-Yes.
Come here, don't irritate.
-Hey
Hey.. save me!
-Don't confuse me.
Don't waste time.
-Save me!
Meet!
Good that you came,
see what this fool is doing to me.
There's no need to say anything.
-Ok.
His fallen pants reveal everything.
Wow, Meet!
After seeing your actions today..
..my respect for you has increased.
Respect has increased?
Meet, this was my idea,
so I'll implement it.
No, Prem..
..don't take off your clothes.
-What's wrong with both of you!
I'm there. I've taken off my clothes.
-What do you mean?
I'm doing it, Prem.
What are you doing?
C'mon, take me.
-What?
No, Prem. You have a wife,
a sister-in-law, take care of them.
I'll take care of her.
No, Meet. I'll take care of her.
No, Prem, I'll do it.
-No, Meet, I'll do it.
No, Prem..
No, Meet..
-God, save me from these horny men!
Shut up.
Now when we both are ready,
you're acting pricey.
Now you tell me, whom do you want?
Amar! Amar!
Oh, so she wants Amar.
-Amar?
Amar!
-Amar!
Amar!
-Amar!
Amar!
-Amar!
I'm here.
Amar, see what your rogue
friends are doing with me.
I've understood everything.
I could never imagine that
you both would think like this.
I'm don't regret that
you thought like this..
..but I regret not thinking
about it before you.
Hey oldie!
Stop shouting and get in the bed.
Have you lost it!
Now one more crazy
guy to join these two!
Somebody help me!
Go, Amar! Go, Amar!
Hey! He's gone mad.
-No, Amar! No, Amar! -Leave me.
Forget that, look there.
Sapna, see what these
three are trying to do with me.
We set out to be the hunter.
Instead we're going to be hunted now.
Mom, did they do
such a thing with you?
Yes. Now even the elders
aren't safe in this house.
Lust has driven them mad.
Only one person can save us
from this trouble now.
I've lost it! I've lost it!
I've lost it!
-Good that you've come, master.
It's good that you've come.
What happened?
You've been lying around these days.
You know what happened with me?
Mama's darling boy went astray.
Not just went astray,
he even pounced on mom-in-law.
Bad thing! Very, very.. bad thing.
Sire, please do something.
Yes, sire. You're the only hope now.
Sire, what will you do?
Please tell me.
We'll perform a fire sacrifice.
The answer to those three
horny men is in my bag.
Tonight, I'll summon all the spirits
and perform such a sacrifice..
..that their lust wi | | ..
Out.. out run out!
Sire, will they roam around
freely like this till then?
I have a solution for that,
Saira Banu.
Worry.. why worry?
You and me are locked in
a room and the keys are lost.
Sire, the keys.
Open, dear.
Safe deposit.
Now you'll get the
keys only after the ritual.
C'mon now.
Praise be to the singing master!
Sire..
-Mom..
Mom, don't do this.
It's my birthday today.
And you're all standing
here with such gloomy faces.
We should definitely
have some song and dance.
Ok, I'll sing.
"I made an entry and bells
began to ring in the heart."
"Listen to the commentary
of the heart and love is guaranteed."
Mom, where is the sound
of bells coming from?
It's the master's grace, my dear.
The master's arrival has
transformed the house into a temple.
It's either the bells ringing
or the offerings being made.
Praise be to the Singing Monk!
Had fun?
We'll keep the rest of
the fun for our time together.
You've made me wait a lot.
You'll have to pay
the price for the delay.
Now I don't want one of you,
but all three.
All three?
-Yes.
By the way,
you have time till tonight.
Go and meet your wives.
Tell her whatever you want.
I'll wait for my gift at night.
It's my birthday and
the day you three die.
We'll celebrate all three togethen.
..tonight.
Here's your salad.
Go on, you also join us.
Why aren't you three eating?
Well, mom..
No, don't tell me..
..that you have observed
a fast for them.
They aren't worth it.
Eat your food. Eat it.
You're absolutely right, mom.
By misbehaving with you,
they've crossed all limits.
I hate them.
Marrying them was the
biggest mistake of our lives.
They destroyed our lives.
To observe a fast for such a disgusting
man is an insult to the custom.
They used to swear by
our love once upon a time.
And today,
they're eating on Karva Chauth day.
It's good that Ragini is killing us.
We'll be rid of them.
They're a blemish on
the reputation of wives.
Death is better than
living with such wives.
We've decided who amongst the three of
us will get into bed with you first.
Really? Who?
Nobody.
What?!
Don't you know the
consequences of refusing me?
Don't yuu!
Shall I tell you something?
I'm very cowardly.
The smallest of things freak me out.
But today, despite you standing
there and saying all this..
..I'm not scared.
Because we know that our
wives are observing a fast for us.
That's why you can't harm us.
You trust your wives so much.
Ok, let's see.
Hey! What was that noise?
What happened?
Let's check it out, mom.
-C'mon.
Out.. out run out!
What's going on here?
And who is she?
All of you can see her?
She's not a ghost
to be invisible to us.
Who are you and what
are you doing in this house?
I live here since the last 70 years.
20 years as a human.
50 years as a ghost.
If you're a ghost, then look here.
I'm a witch.
Your mom-in-law will
get herself killed. -Really?
Shut up! She's pretending
to be a ghost in my presence.
Somebody explain to her
how terrifying I am to ghosts.
Witches feed their children
by showing my photo.
They tell them to sleep,
or else the Singing Monk will arrive.
Isn't it?
-Yes.
That's why I'm telling you, my chi | d..
Out.. out run out!
Out.. out run out!
If you're a ghost,
then I'm a large tree.
Huge organic watermelons
pop out of me all day..
..for the well-being of mankind.
Isn't it? -Yes.
Oh no!
-What happened to the master?
Watermelon!
Thank god he didn't say pineapple.
Oh god! She's really a ghost!
Ghost! Ghost!
Do you know why I appeared
before all of them?
So that I can kill the
three of you in their presence.
Now I'll see how their
fast saves your lives.
Dad's staff?
-Dad's staff?
Mine?
No.
Dad's staff.
Dad's staff.
It seems it's her father's staff.
-What?
See this.
She's under control now, the ghost!
Where were you hiding
all this while? Where?
You don't know how much
she has troubled us. -Yes.
Now it's our turn.
Hey, shut up, what?
You keep making weird
noises all the time!
Are you mad?
Stand quietly or I'll slap you hard.
Slap? Just a slap?
You're very soft-hearted, Amar.
Haven't you heard the adage, ghosts
don't yield to talks, but kicks.
Hand it to me. -What?
The staff, what else!
Give it to me.
Mad ghost,
you'll pop out watermelons, eh!
Now see how I make you
pop out a bowl of fruit salad.
What are you guys doing?
Let's run from here.
How can we leave?
The party has just begun.
C'mon, let's go to the dance floor.
Burn to ashes, beautiful!
We're going to make
you die a terrible death.
And you won't be able to
do anything to us. Take that!
Exactly. This is known
as killing the snake..
..without breaking the staff.
Prem..
-Shut up, Amar.
You don't know about my fury.
Once I lose my coo | ..
Dad's staff broke.
..I calm down quickly.
Oh god, run!
Brother!
Atleast everybody is
receiving the shock now.
Even the watermelon popping
out of me didn't give you the brains.
Who told you to grab the doors?
He's mad.
Two minutes. Just two minutes.
That's all the time
left for all of you.
The moment dad's fire burns out,
your pyres will burn.
What do we do?
Idea!
Igor it!
See this, your dad's underwear.
Fear it!
You fool, she feared her
father's staff, not his underwear.
To scare her you've
to call her father directly.
Yes, but how?
-How..
The Singing Monk.
-Yes.
Master!
Master, only you can save us from her.
I don't know to summon spirits.
What?!
-Yes.
See, I press the buttons
on this to move the coin.
What?
Not this ghost,
I'll choke you to death.
C'mon, just chill.
It's dirty, but it's business.
Sire, give me the bag.
Give me the bag.
It seems we'll have
to do something. -Yes.
Bloody imposter! Let's go.
Place your fingers on it.
Wherever you are daddy spirit,
please appear!
Wherever you are daddy spirit,
please appear!
Wherever you are daddy spirit,
please appear!
Wherever you are daddy spirit,
please appear!
Oh man! Why isn't this coin moving?
Buddy, before I die,
I want to say something honestly.
I know that it's my idea
that gets us killed every time.
The coin moved.
HOW?
Truth along triumphs.
I understood.
My father used to say..
..that to summon a spirit, the mind
should be clean and the soul honest.
But I always resorted to lies.
That's why I could
never summon a spirit.
But the moment Prem spoke the truth,
the coin moved.
That means, if we speak the truth,
the coin will move?
Yes, it surely will.
Then what are you wondering?
Speak the truth quickly.
But what?
Say that you can't find
a better mom-in-law than me.
I can't find a better
mom-in-law than you.
Speak the truth.
Amar, the fire is burning out.
Sneak m
You're a mad old woman.
You've ruined my life.
If you really miss
your husband so much..
..then instead of bringing him down
to earth, why don't you go up instead?
You'll be happy and so will I.
The whole world will be happy,
damn you!
Damn yuu?
Shut up, Amar.
The coin moved.
-The coin moved.
Well done, Amar. Continue.
-Yes.
Hey, what do you mean by continue?
Will I alone speak the truth?
You also speak the truth
about your brother-in-law.
What about me?
Nothing, just that you're
the apple of my eyes. My darling.
Thank you, Meet.
The coin isn't moving.
Meet, the fire..
Speak up!
You're not the apple of my eyes,
but the rot in my love life.
You cross-connection!
Seeing you, I realised why
people curse their brothers-in-law.
You're not a human, but a wild bull.
Not a wild bull, but a donkey's.
Did you understand?
He called me a bull.
I hate you, Meet. I hate you!
The coin moved.
-The coin moved.
The coin moved.
Prem, it's your turn now.
Say it.
My name is Prem. I'm a man.
I'm 32 years old.
You loser, we're not submitting
our bio-data for a job.
You've to speak the true
feelings of your heart, rascal.
Prem, speak the truth.
One needs brains to think
and you lack it, foolish girl.
You keep saying, Prem shook..'
Not me, but you're
shaken in your head.
Because of you sleeping between us my
rat is suffering from plague. Plague!
Sisten.
-Sorry, dean.
What nonsense are you talking?
Prem, the coin moved. Oh!
That's done.
Now, we just need
to speak one more truth.
Enough. Dare you say another word.
Do you hate our family
members so much? -Yes, we do.
Do you know why?
Because they keep us away from you.
You turn a blind eye
to us in their presence.
That's why we came
here to cheat on you.
But now we rea | ise..
..that we were cheating
ourselves and not you.
Because all the fun in the
world can't match up to your love.
And today, we swear on that | ove..
..that we'll die but never betray you.
Dad..
-Not your dad, but Babu.
I'm Babu Rangeela.
I'm of loose character.
Because once I commit.
..then he doesn't listen even to me.
Even I have a staff
to bring you under control.
Babu.
Rangeela.
I loves you.
WOW!
Crazy.. Choti?
Bu | | .. Lakshman?
Choti, aren't you ashamed?
What will the elders of
the house think if they see you?
What will they think?
Sorry, we made a mistake.
They did a mistake.
MOm!
Dad! I mean, master!
Not master, but the master's staff.
They're talking about your mother.
Come.
Mom..
Earlier, she used to be shameless
and look at her blush now.
Dad.. hello.
Forget the hello and quickly
touch my feet, you fool.
Why quickly?
-We've to go on a honeymoon.
Oh.. everybody goes on one.
Thanks, Babu.
You saved the lives of our husbands.
But you came to see the
house yesterday, isn't it?
Then how did you die all of a sudden?
What happened?
Don't eat chicken ever again.
Become vegetarians.
Ok.
Ok.
Sorry, I troubled all of you.
But what could I do?
That's the nature of fun.
You didn't get it for six months
and this was your condition.
Think about it..
I waited for 50 years.
It's alright.
We can understand.
In fact, we should be thanking you.
Thank you, Ragu.
Your horror story
set our love story right.
Where are you going?
Pyari, wait up!
Pyari, don't go inside.
Oh god, she went in!
Have you gone mad?
How many times have I told you
not to loiter around this mansion!
Dad, Pyari..
-To hell with her!
Save your life and flee from here.
C'mon, do you want to die!
I've repeatedly told you
not to go there! You'll get killed!
C'mon!
"Fun and fro | ic.. great and grand!"
WOW!
"When my eyes fell on your hips,
a hoot escaped my | ips."
"My nights are spent
yearning for you."
"When my eyes fell on your hips,
a hoot escaped my | ips."
"My nights are spent
yearning for you."
"If you don't yield,
your heart will compel you."
"Come into my arms,
let's have some fun!"
"If you don't yield,
your heart will compel you."
"Come into my arms,
let's have some fun!"
"Fun and fro | ic.."
"Darling, throw a party first.
Darling, buy me a margarita."
"Darling, when it gets heady,
you can do whatever you want."
"Darling, take me on a long drive first.
Darling, gift me a diamond."
"Darling, take me to your parents,
then you can do whatever you want."
"When my eyes fell on your hips,
a hoot escaped my | ips."
"My nights are spent
yearning for you."
"When my eyes fell on your hips,
a hoot escaped my | ips."
"My nights are spent
yearning for you."
"If you don't yield,
your heart will compel you."
"Come into my arms,
let's have some fun!"
"If you don't yield,
your heart will compel you."
"Come into my arms,
let's have some fun!"
"Fun and fro | ic.."
"O baby, your looks are killer.
Different is your style."
"God must have made you on a Sunday.
O girl, you're mesmerising!"
"O baby, your looks are killer.
Different is your style."
"God must have made you on a Sunday.
O girl, you're mesmerising!"
"When my eyes fell on your hips,
a hoot escaped my | ips."
"My nights are spent
yearning for you."
"If you don't yield,
your heart will compel you."
"Come into my arms,
let's have some fun!"
"Fun and fro | ic.."
"Darling, throw a party first.
Darling, buy me a margarita."
"Darling, when it gets heady,
you can do whatever you want."
"Darling, take me on a long drive first.
Darling, gift me a diamond."
"Darling, take me to your parents,
then you can do whatever you want."
"When my eyes fell on your hips,
a hoot escaped my | ips."
"My nights are spent
yearning for you."
"If you don't yield,
your heart will compel you."
"Come into my arms,
let's have some fun!"
"Fun and fro | ic.."
How long has it been ringing?
Sir, the bell isn't ringing here,
but there.
Oh, sorry.
Have you had this problem before?
No.
Family history?
-Not at all.
Let me check.
My wife.
Hi baby!
Hi sweetheart!
Do you remember that
we've to visit the guru today?
Oh, I'm so sorry. I have
a patient waiting, I can't come.
But baby, I had told you
Listen up!
We've to leave for the
guru's place in an hour.
Damn yuu!
Stand straight.
-What did you say?
No, I mean I can't come.
Look, stop being stubborn.
Stop it, sir!
I won't!
You've to visit the guru or e | se..
Look, mom-in-law,
I'm not going to let you crush me!
Then get out of my house.
I'll be there in an hour.
-That's like it.
Oh, you're suffering from hernia.
I didn't have it before
the check-up, sir.
Life's changing every moment.
Somewhere life's pleasure,
somewhere it's pain.
Hence, live to the
fullest every moment.
This mood and moment
will never come back.
Out.. out run out!
Wow! The guru is sharing
such great knowledge.
He's not sharing knowledge,
but testing my patience.
Sire..
-Yes?
Since you've said that my late husband
wishes to return to this wor | d..
..that too through
my daughter's womb..
..I've made a total
donation of 12.5 millions.
See that? Her patience is
being put through a test of fire.
There has been no news of her beloved.
Yes, sire. Until dad doesn't
tell you the time of his arriva | ..
..I've not let him even touch
me until then, just like you advised.
The one who has to come, will come.
Damn your lie!
I mean, he'll be here in an hour.
It's already been six months.
Master, it's time
to contact the spirits.
Fearless and brave.
Your husband's name?
-RavL
Shastri, the cricketer?
Oh god, when did he die?
Ravi Mehra.
Ok, Mehra.
Come, let's find the road to love.
Come.. come..
What happened, sire?
The communication is breaking, I
think the offering was a little less.
No, don't do that!
I'm willing to spend.
Give it, dear.
Here, try once again.
Praise the lord!
Come.. come..
It seems the communication
is breaking again.
Don't stop,
I'm willing to give everything.
Come.. come..
Come.. come..
Come.. come..
Here he is. Shower him with petals!
Your beloved has arrived,
wearing slippers.
He's here?
-Yes, Ravi.
He's come?
-Yes.
Master, ask dad-in-law
about the time of his arrival.
Just a second.
Since you've arrived in the world,
you've to live.
If life's poison,
you'll have to drink it.
He says, between 7.00 to 7.30 p.m.
You'll have to keep your word, oldie.
And you'll have to
accept this blessing.
I'm not eating this.
Dare you refuse the guru!
Don't forget.
Yes, I know that I live in your house.
Yes.
I'll leave now.
Do come again.
Master, you've given him
a sweetmeat laced with opium..
..marijuana, hashish and heroin.
Now see him perform.
Darling, I'm ready.
What have you done to yourself?
What's with your look?
Mom, come quickly.
What is the matter?
Why are you shouting? -Look at this.
What have you done to yourself?
Aren't you ashamed?
Why are you spitting?
Have you gone mad?
Darling, why are you acting crazy?
I've been trying to explain to you
Don't bother,
he's not going to understand.
Baby, please.
It's time for dad's arrival. Hurry up.
Hurry up for what?
He's been bitted by a mad dog.
That's why he's behaving like this.
Please baby, hurry up.
But with whom?
Over here, the penthouse is beautiful
and the basement is dilapidated.
And here,
it's evergreen at the bottom.
..and barren at the top.
What?!
This guru has given
a very bad exchange offer.
I think it's up to me now.
You're going to be reborn today, baby.
Move!
Hey, why are you shouting?
Let's hack off the head, we'll celebrate
the wedding night after that.
Instead of inviting
my husband back home..
..you were trying
to send me to heaven!
Even the auspicious time has passed.
Tonight, you're going
to sleep here on the street.
Sir, when you see the penthouse..
..you' | | buy it immediately.
Hello?
Hey Prem,
sell-off my mansion at Doodhwadi.
I can't live at my
mom-in- | aw's house anymore.
Amar, I'm driving right now.
I'm with a client.
We'll talk later, 0k?
You're an expert con.
You manage to sell the worst houses.
What nonsense are you talking, Amar?
You're a rascal of the first order!
To earn your commission, you even
sell off a tenthouse for a penthouse.
Amar, what nonsense are you talking?
He was joking.
Here's your tent.. penthouse.
Amar, you scoundrel!
Amar, you moron!
Cursed dog! He ruined my deal!
Brother-in-law, statue! - Hi..
You've to remain stiff now.
Tick | e.. tick | e..
Tick | e.. tick | e..
Tick | e.. tick | e..
You shook!
You shook!
Sister, come quickly.
Look, Prem shook.
Sister, come fast. See, Prem shook.
What's this? Why are you screaming?
What's all the noise about?
See..
-Shut up!
Nothing.
It's good that you came. I
wanted to talk to you about something.
What is it?
I want some money.
How much?
Just a million.
A million! Have you gone mad?
Money doesn't grow on trees.
Actually,
Choti has a course in London.
She has to go and live
there for two months.
What?! Choti has to live
separately for two months?
Why didn't you tell me this earlier?
I'll try and sell
a house tomorrow itself.
Yeah! I'll go and tell
all my friends right away.
You're the best!
Bye, Prem.
Bye.
Your feelings for my sisten.
-Yes?
..I appreciate it a lot.
What do you mean?
She's my sister,
but you considered her your own..
..and agreed to give
her a million rupees.
Yes, but you don't
understand my feelings.
Since your sister came to live with us,
we've been living like siblings.
"Come, get into my blanket."
Welcome to my blanket.
Choti!
-Choti? Ignore her.
I can't ignore her.
No, please don't.. Choti!
What is it, Choti?
-I'm feeling very scared.
I saw a very bad dream.
I won't sleep alone.
I want to sleep between you and Prem.
What happened?
Sister, there's a rat in your bed.
It rubbed against me.
No, Choti. There is no rat on the bed.
There is. I want to check.
No, Choti..
-Yes.
Yes.
-No.
Choti, don't worry.
Even if there was a rat,
it ran back into the hole in fear.
Nisha, you both can sleep here,
I'll sleep outside. Ok?
What do I do? She's a kid,
she doesn't understand all this.
Just let her go to London once..
..and I promise that every night
will be a wedding night for us.
Really? If that is so..
..then I'll surely sell
the house to Pawan Lodha tomorrow.
Good morning,
Mr. and Mrs. Lodha. Welcome!
You won't find a better bungalow
than this to start your married life.
Come, I'll show you the
special features of this bungalow.
Please come.
-Sure.
See this,
a lake in front of the bungalow.
A valley in front of the lake.
And most important,
a hill in front of the valley.
Well, what's so special
about this hill?
This is the mountain where
if a man loudly shouts his name..
..then do you know what happens?
The hill replies
with his lover's name.
Wow! Really?
I'll try.
Please try.
Pawan!
Ritu.. Ritu!
Wow, Mr. Lodha!
Sorry.. see, I told you.
You're right.
Darling,
why don't you also try? Please.
Try, Mrs. Lodha.
Ritu!
Sahi | .. Vikas.. Mohit..
Shekhan. Ani | .. Ramesh.. Rohan..
Rakesh.. Suni | .. Moti..
Manoj.. Shee | a.. Sonia..
-Gir | s?
Pawan! Pawan!
Pawan!
-Pawan?!
Kancha.
Hey Amol! Chotu!
PaPP"~
Garbage collecton. Watchman..
Newspaper boy.. mi | kman..
Listen to me, Mr. Lodha.
Please save me, brother!
You're my friend.. I need a million.
I have to send my sister-in-law
to London for higher studies.
Please save me.
What is it? What are you staring at?
Is your mother getting married?
Get lost!
Bloody scoundrel! -Prem,
he's my customer. What are you doing?
Please save me.
Give me a million rupees.
Where do I bring a million from?
I'm just the manager of this hotel.
It doesn't belong to my father.
Prem, you should be happy.
-Why?
You have a hot sister-in-law
at home to feast your eyes on.
I have a bull in my house.
-Bull?
Yes, my brother-in-law.
He came down for two months to
participate in a wrestling competition.
He's been holed up in
my house for six months now.
Have you seen the movie 'Judwa'?
-Yes, why?
It's the same problem, man.
My wife and my brother-in-law
are twins. Cross-connection.
When I touch my wife..
..my brother-in-law gets hot.
Oh.. no..
Ouch
-Ouch!
What am I doing? Meet!
Oh god!
-Leave my sister alone!
Meet, you mean to say that
your life is hell too? -Yes.
Wife's calling.
Hi, darling.
Honey, guess what?
What?
Brother has gone out to
chill with his friends tonight.
And he's out the entire night.
The line's clear. Come home quickly.
Oh baby, I'm coming!
Prem..
-You got the one million?
No, my arrangements have been made.
You can sit here and
think about your withdrawal.
I'm going home to deposit.
To deposit.
Meet, you bloody cheat!
Oh baby, we've got
a chance after six months.
Your brother will party there..
..and we'll have fun
and frolic here all night.
Let's go wild, baby. Let's go wild.
You dog! How dare you mock my lisp!
Leave me! What are you doing?
Power slam!
Oh god, they're shattered!
I'm done for!
Baby baby
Baby.. -I'm not fit
to give you a baby anymore.
I'm so sorry.
Gently, dude!
I'm doing it.
It's gangrene.
-Gangrene?!
We'll have to chop it off.
-Chop?!
Prem, scissors.
-Yes, doctor.
Here, doctor.
-What are you doing?
Solve his problem in one snipe.
Prem, hold his hands.
-Yes, doctor.
No way! Nobody's chopping
anything, get it?
You guys are such rascals.
You're mocking my condition.
You went to deposit,
but returned with your account closed.
I asked you for a
million and you refused.
You want a million?
-Yes.
I'll give it.
-ReaHy?
Yes, just sell my
mansion in Doodhwadi.
After a 99-year lease,
it's finally come to me.
Will you take another
hundred years to sell it?
No, I'll call up right away.
Hello, I'm Dalal speaking.
You.. Mr. Dalal, what happened
to the mansion at Doodhwadi?
Sir, I'm standing
outside your mansion.
But I don't know why
nobody's willing to come here.
But you don't worry.
I won't rest till I
generate some leads today.
Hurry up or..
Sir, the client is here.
I'll hang up now.
Welcome, sir.
Please come.
Welcome, sir.
This mansion is very
old and badly maintained.
Oh sir, this was a palace
for the kings in the olden days.
Just take a step in.
Come.. come, my darling.
Come inside, my dear.
Come in, just once.
Just once..
No, I don't feel like it.
Let's check out some other bungalow.
Sir.. listen to me, sir..
Can I get some tea! Tea please!
Nobody even asks me
for tea in this house.
Sir, your tea.
But who are you?
I'm your new maid, Shiney.
Nice name.
Here's some fritters
to go with the tea.
The aroma is nice.
Wow, the fritters are delicious.
You deserve a tip.
Here's fifty bucks. -No, sir..
C'mon, keep it.
The fritters are very nice.
I've never eaten such
fritters in my life.
Just a minute. Here..
Hundred.. two.. keep this.
-No..
Keep it.
-Thank you. .
Such delicious fritters. wow!
Keep this. Take it.
What a.. fritter!
Enough, sir. My blouse will tear open.
Then let it tear.
What is this for, sir?
If your blouse tears,
you can use this to stitch it.
C'mon, sir.. had I known
that it's so easy to make money..
..then I'd have returned
from Doodwad earlier itself.
Doodhwadi?
-Yes, my village.
Doodhwadi is my village too.
ReaHy?
-Yes.
Then it's my duty to serve you nicely.
Tell me, what all can I do for you?
Thank you for calling us over, buddy.
Enjoy the show, my friends.
"I floored you by wearing lipstick."
"I looked into your eyes,
it caused a heart attack."
"O dar | ing.. O dar | ing.."
"O dar | ing.. O dar | ing.."
"I floored you by wearing lipstick."
"I looked into your eyes,
it caused a heart attack."
"O dar | ing.. O dar | ing.."
"O dar | ing.. O dar | ing.."
"You look awesome and fashionable."
"You sculpt your figure in the gym,
only to kill us."
"Your booty like apples.
Your legs compliment them."
"Your lips are like candy,
I feel helpless."
"Come, it's a season of love.
There's no reason to abstain."
"Open up..
open the door to your heart."
"You're a hottie,
my desires are naughty."
"Come, let's get flirty.
Give in to your emotions."
"C'mon, my sexy lady,
let's make some love tonight."
"You've got me going crazy.
I wanna hold you tight."
"O dar | ing.. O dar | ing.."
"O dar | ing.. O dar | ing.."
"You floored me by wearing lipstick."
"You looked into my eyes,
it caused a heart attack."
"O dar | ing.. O dar | ing.."
"O dar | ing.. O dar | ing.."
"I floored you by wearing lipstick."
"I looked into your eyes,
it caused a heart attack."
"O dar | ing.. O dar | ing.."
"O dar | ing.. O dar | ing.."
"..by wearing lipstick."
"I floored you.."
Bloody Amar 'Sucking' Saxena!
Your mom-in-law screwed
up all our moods today.
She just screwed up the mood today.
Normally, she gangs up
with the guru and screws me.
And that guru presents
song verses as his teachings.
..and is making a fool out of my wife.
Be grateful that atleast your
wife doesn't have a twin brother.
I plug one's phone and
the other's battery gets charged.
The common saying is that
the sister-in-law is half a wife.
In my case,
the brother-in-law is half a husband!
Don't talk about the sister-in-law.
My sister-in-law is not a bone in
the throat but a juicy steak herself.
When she was young, she'd
sit on the lap and eat a lollypop.
Now when she sits on the | ap..
--ml lolly pops out.
This is the first bed in the wor | d..
..where my wife's
sister sleeps with us.
Our condition is such
that forget the feast.
..we don't even get regular meals!
Friends, I have an idea.
I have a great, grand idea!
No, no.
-Yes, yes.
No, no.
-Yes, yes.
No, no..
-Shut up!
We're going to enjoy
a feast this time.
This time we won't be playing
golf with downtown gir | s..
..but playing softball
with village belles instead!
Village? Which village?
Doodhwadi.
That's my native.
Why Doodhwadi?
Because in Doodhwadi, the
moment someone buys your bunga | ow..
..you can bid goodbye
to your mom-in-law's house.
We'll only sell his
bungalow at Doodhwadi.
How will we get to
relish a rural feast?
In Doodhwadi, there isn't just
one Shiney, but thousands of Shineys.
Smiling Shiney,
washing Shiney, bathing Shiney..
Towelling Shiney..
A Shiney here and a Shiney there!
What do you think?
-Correct.
We'll get to enjoy in Doodhwadi on
the pretext of selling the bungalow.
Yes. And this time it
won't just be fun and fro | ic..
..but great fun and frolic!
Such great fun and frolic that
the world will be left wide-eyed.
Wide-eyed!
-Wide-eyed!
So Doodhwadi, here we come.
Doodhwadi?
-Yes.
It's your ancestral bungalow,
you go to sell it yourself.
It's your friend. You can go
and get pally in such a rotten place.
Is this Doodhwadi
even marked on the map?
I told you, whether we go to
Doodhwadi or up the donkey's rear..
..it won't make a
difference to our wives.
Yes, wives become
suspicious only when
..we go to Bangkok for work.
Hey, look ahead!
Are you alright?
-Yes, I am.
Ok, step outside. Let's check the car.
Open it.
-It's hot.
Oh no, it's badly damaged.
-Shit!
That reminds me,
I want to shit urgently.
You want to shit in such a time!
Go there, behind the rocks.
-Water..
What do we do now?
Waten.
ControL.
Oh my god! Snake! Snake!
What happened?
Why are you screaming snake?
A snake bit me on the butt.
-What?
The poison has already
started spreading. -Oh god!
I'm feeling giddy.
I'm going to die.
-No, nothing will happen to you.
I'm there. We'll think of something.
There must surely
be a way to save you.
There's one way.
- What?
You both have to suck the
venom out of my butt. - What?!
Have you gone mad?
I'm not going to suck your butt.
The poison is taking effect.
The world is vanishing before my eyes.
Everything around me is darkening.
Remove your goggles,
the darkness will disappear.
For the sake of our friendship,
please suck on it.
Why did the snake have
to bite you on the butt!
Thank god the snake
bit him on the butt..
..think what you'd have to suck
on if it bit him on the front! -Oh no!
Goodbye, I'm going.
Wait, we'll suck on it.
Meet, suck it.
-Ok.
What? Why should I suck?
You're an expert at sucking.
Remember how you used
to suck your thumb as a kid.
You're no less of
an expert at sucking.
I've seen you suck out entire
mango and leave behind the seed.
Those were mangoes, but this
is a watermelon. C'mon, suck it.
People die laughing,
I'm going to die shitting.
Suck it, you rascals!
Yes, we'll suck it. Bend down.
I'll suck it.
You idiot,
you weren't bitten by a snake.
A 'coctus' was stuck to your rear.
-Cactus.
Yes, cactus.
I've been saved!
You nearly died.
And I nearly sucked.
Hey, it's a wagon!
Wait! Wait!
Doodhwadi!
Thank you, sir.
Doodhwadi.
Let's milk this opportunity, guys.
Village belles..
-Smooth like butter.
Look at that.
Beautiful pots.
DoodhwadL. Doodhwadi, I love you!
I love Doodhwadi. I love pottery.
I love pottery.
I love your beautiful pots.
Yughurt!
WOW!
Creamy yoghurt!
Doodhwadi.
Thank you, sir.
-Doodhwadi.
Guys, let's milk this opportunity.
Village be | | es..
-Sta | e as bread.
What to do now?
Look at that.
Doodhwadi. I don't like Doodhwadi.
A pot of gold in the dreams..
-Is shockingly old in reality.
Oh god, where have you brought us!
Even the yoghurt!
Drink some yoghurt, dear.
No way!
You drink, dear.
I don't want your yoghurt.
Every packet of milk
here has expired ages ago.
Forget the milk, even the
yoghurt here is a century old.
Is this your native
place or the Jurassic park?
Where are all the young girls?
I'll tell you!
All the young girls of the
village have gone to the city..
..to work as maids.
What?!
-What?
Who are you?
I'm the chieftain
of this village, Ramsay.
What? Your name is Ramsay?
Yes. We were three brothers.
Ramsay brothers. Two went away..
..I'm the only one left, Ramsay.
How did your brothers die?
They haven't died!
They went to the city to work.
By the way, why have you
come to this barren, deserted..
..graveyard of a village? Why?
Brother Ramsay,
we've come here on some work too.
I want to sell my ancestral bungalow.
Which bungalow?
This one.
Satan's area! Old bungalow!
Terror! The chime of the anklets!
What's all this?
Titles of horror films.
But films are inspired by real life.
The mansion that you've
come to sell is haunted.
Amar, I think that,
just like your guru..
..this guy is also
making a fool out of us.
Ramsay, please explain in detail,
whatever it is you're harping about.
This story is about Ragini.
MMS?
-No, SMS.
SMS?
-Simp | e, marvelous and sexy.
Ragini's beauty was
the talk of the village.
Men wrote her letters in blood.
But to keep all the sinners
away from her daughten.
..her father stood
at the door of their house.
The posse of men ended
up waving their hands.
But the day of the
union never arrived.
Ragini suppressed
the hunger of her youth.
Poor Ragini,
quietly endured everything..
..because her father
had a long stick in his hand.
Neither did she get a cucumber,
nor did she p | ay..
..hide and seek in the arms of a man.
I agree that it's a flashback,
but is the rhyming required?
This is a style of
narrating the story..
..without which
everything is just bland.
Don't irritate, come to the point!
The guys yearning for Ragini spread
false stories about lions attacking..
..but her father didn't budge.
Then one day, rea | | y..
-The lion attacked?
No, a snake attacked.
But taking it to be a lie,
Ragini's father didn't come.
Daughten.
No... no..
This is where the
story should have ended.
But when she died,
Ragini's youth was yet to blossom.
Any man would do for her,
whatever be his faith or creed.
All that Ragini's soul
wants is a wedding night.
Guys, one shouldn't mock
at a dead person like this.
What if the story turns out to be true?
-Shut up.
You coward! Ghost are not real.
Now I know why it was proving
hard to sell your mansion. -Yes.
It's due to these
baseless horror stories.
Come, let's ask
someone for directions.
Get lost, blanket-man!
Where are you going?
Don't go to Ragini's mansion.
Don't go!
Wow, Amar. This is quite big.
It's a cat, you coward!
Hey Meet, switch on the torch.
Let's find the switchboard.
Why aren't the lights turning on?
It's a village,
there must be a power cut.
Don't worry, come.
Even the torch isn't working now.
This torch is torturing us.
You've arrived.
You all have finally arrived.
I've been waiting for long.
For us?
For anyone..
..who'd enter this house.
So many years..
I've been waiting for so many years.
This is my house. Who are you?
I'm Shabri.
Shabri. Tell us, Shabri.
What do I tell you, sir?
An orphan like me makes
any available shelter her home.
My story is a very tragic one, sir.
Very tragic.
If you hear it, your eyes will water.
It's my mouth that is watering.
I lost my mother in chi | dhood..
..and her burden fell on my chest.
In my youth, I lost my father.
Even the burden of his
responsibilities, fell on my chest.
You can't see, sir.
How much burden I carry on my chest!
Yes, we can see.
If you wish, we can even lift it.
Only if you wish.
What?
Thank you, sir. Thank you.
I had just taken refuge
here all these days.
If you permit,
shall I start working here?
Working?
Don't refuse, sir.
I'll do all your work.
I'll fulfill all
your needs and desires.
Not just my age,
even my sleep is tender.
Even if you call at midnight,
I'll come running.
I'll do what you say.
I'll do where you say.
I'll do it the way you say.
Enough, girl. Are you going
to take a promotion on joining day?
Your job's confirmed.
ReaHy?
-Yes.
I'll prepare a meal
for you all right away.
And clean up the whole house.
-Ok.
How could you appoint her like this?
We don't know whether
she's lying or not.
There should be some
reason to believe her.
There is.
Didn't you see the two big reasons?
And if god wants,
I'll show you the third reason soon.
Correct. So what if there's
no Shiney in the village?
We have a Shabri at home.
Yes!
Yes!
But we are three.
May the best man win!
May the best man win!
-May the best man win!
"Your love possesses me like a ghost."
"My heart is stuck on you,
like a bloody foo | ."
"It's been waiting
helplessly since long."
"You never meet,
despite all the promises."
"Where are you?
Where are you after prepping me up?"
"With a silk scarf around your neck,
come and meet me.."
"..I stand outside the club,
my eyes lined with kohl from Delhi."
"Silk scarf.."
"Move it.. let me do my thing."
"You're the hottest,
get on the floor."
"My heart is stuffed
with love for you."
"You're good luck
as well as good news."
"Don't misuse me, O miss.
I just want to say."
"O darling, why are you so hyper?
Step on the brakes of your heart."
"I just want to say.."
"Where are you?
Where are you after prepping me up?"
"With a silk scarf around your neck,
come and meet me.."
"..I stand outside the club,
my eyes lined with kohl from Delhi."
"Silk scarf.."
"Move it.. let me do my thing."
"You're the hottest,
get on the floor."
"How long will you keep me yearning,
trapped in your grip?"
"The poor lover is on tenterhooks,
I just want to say."
"O darling, I'm good and you're fine.
I'm yours and you're mine."
"I just want to say."
"Where are you?
Where are you after prepping me up?"
"With a silk scarf around your neck,
come and meet me.."
"..I stand outside the club,
my eyes lined with kohl from Delhi."
"Silk scarf.."
Stop, Amar! Where are you taking her?
Shabri, my patience is running out.
Nab him!
-Wait!
Amar, you coward!
-Amar, you coward!
Open the door.
-Open the door.
Don't worry,
this loser won't take much time.
He's two-minute noodles.
Yes, he's quick-gun Murugan.
Fire.. fire.. misfire!
See, your friends are getting worried.
Meet isn't worried for you,
but his medicines.
Medicines?
What's wrong with him?
He has a problem getting up.
Getting up? But his legs appear fine.
It's not about his legs,
but somewhere else.
Actually,
it's always 6.30 on his watch.
I didn't understand.
His gadget doesn't work.
Oh god, poor guy!
That guy is pooren.
he.. what's his name? -Who?
That fat guy with buck teeth,
who laughs in a weird manner.
That ugly fat thing.
Prem?
-Yes, Prem.
He needs prayers along with his pills.
Why? What happened to him?
He's on his..
What?
..way out.
It's a venereal disease that even
Dr. Gupta couldn't cure.
Venereal disease?
Oh god, he even touched me.
Oh poor girl, this disease
doesn't spread by touching.
Only love spreads by touching.
But if you still want, I'll check you.
What the
What happened to you?
I'll get some water for you.
Look, what happened to him?
Forget him, are you all right?
I'm fine, look at him.
We'll look at him later, first you.
Come.
Come soon.
You rascal, just five minutes
with Shabri and you're so heated up.
She's a very hot chick, man.
She shook him up so
bad that he's still shaking.
You vibrator!
She's here.
Here, drink some water.
What's the matter? Take the glass.
You take your medicines too.
Medicines?
Shabri, it's Amar who is ill, not me.
No need to hide.
Amar told me everything.
Your clock is always stuck at 6.30.
That's a lie! You liar!
He's lying.
I'm He-man.
Ask Prem if you don't believe me.
Meet, now that Shabri has found out,
why deny it?
Tell her that you're impotent.
Rascal, you turned
out to be a liar too.
You rascals,
have some respect for our friendship.
Meet, shut up.
-Ok.
Shabri, did this guy
say anything about my clock?
No.
I knew that there can't
be a truer friend than him.
But he told me about
your venereal disease.
With a friend like him,
who needs enemies!
I don't have any venereal disease.
And neither is it 6.30 on my clock.
The truth is that the needle
on his clock is very tiny.
Yes. And I've seen him stuff
socks in his underwear many times.
ReaHy?
-Yes.
What?
- Yes.
Actually, I've grown only
vertically since 2nd grade.
Not horizontally.
I agree friends that
it's difficult to believe.
But check the mirror once
and you'll know the truth.
Let go.
Forget the mirror, let me measure.
Thank you, Amar, for opening my eyes.
I agree,
I suffer from a venereal disease.
Not just me, my whole family
suffers from a venereal disease.
Meet, listen to us.
Look at the mirror.
Prem, shut up.
-No kidding.
I look at the mirror everyday.
Shabri, as far as
manliness is concerned..
..the truth is that
there's no greaten.
No greaten.
No greaten. no greaten.
No greater what?
No greater wuss than me.
It's always 6.30 on my clock.
Friends, when all our
truths has been exposed..
..then why not go out for a walk?
Shabri, just coming.
Aren't you coming, Meet?
-Coming.
"Silk scarf.."
Neither do you have any problems,
nor am I Shabri.
Because my name is Ragini.
Run!
I've waited for 50 years.
My time has finally come!
Run!
Come, dearie.. let's have fun.
Come, let's have a grand time.
Open up.. open up..
No, let's have great fun and frolic.
Run for your lives!
Without fulfilling my desires.
..if any of you tries
to flee from here..
..then you'll keep
getting such shocks.
You've come here of your own wi | | ..
..but you'll go when I will.
The one among the three
of you who has fun with me..
..wi | | have to die
and go to heaven with me.
Without which, neither will I find
salvation, nor will you get freedom.
The cheap oranges have proven costly.
Now only our ashes
will leave this place.
Serves us right for wanting
to have great, grand fun!
This ghost won't let the
three of us leave this place alive.
One of us will have to sacrifice
himself and sleep with her.
On one hand, it's my life.
On the other hand, it's those two.
My friends, my brothers.
The decision is very simple.
Let them die.
It's working.
Prem, have this.
I prepared your favourite yoghurt.
Who knows if there's a tomorrow!
Don't say such things, pal.
Don't lose hope.
We'll surely find a way out.
What if we don't?
Then we have sandwiches.
-Sandwich?
I mean..
-Sit.
How can we think on an empty stomach?
Just like how you prepared
our favourite yoghurt.
I prepared your favourite sandwiches.
Your sandwich?
-I ate mine.
Your yoghurt?
-I drank it long back.
Eat.
-Drink.
Wow, friends!
Since you both were working so hard..
..how could I stay behind?
I prepared your
favourite sweet pudding.
People eat sweets in celebration
..we' | | eat it in grief.
Your bowl?
-I don't eat sweets.
You both know it.
Eat it.
Drink. -Eat.
Drink. -Eat.
Nice, eh?
How is the pudding?
Liked it?
-Yes.
Eat it all.
Wow, Amar! The yoghurt is amazing.
Rascal, what did
you mix in the yoghurt?
Viagra.
-What?!
Sorry, friends, actually I
had to stoop down to make you rise.
Scoundrel, you're not
the only one who stooped | ow..
..and we're not the
only ones who have risen.
Meaning?
Meaning, there was viagra in the
sandwich too, not just the yoghurt.
What?!
And even the pudding.
What?!
Damn!
Hurry UP-
Quietly. Not a word.
"Baby, come to me.
The night is young."
"Why don't you love me more?
Where do you go?"
"I' | | show you a good time,
take you to heaven."
"In life, you need to take risks."
"I want your | ove..
your | ove.. your love, O beloved!"
"I want your | ove..
your | ove.. your love, O beloved!"
"I want your.."
"I want your.."
"Don't go away. Come to me, O dear."
"Only worry,
your body yearns and so does my soul."
"My soul yearns."
"My soul yearns."
"Don't go away. Come to me, O dear."
"Only worry,
your body yearns and so does my soul."
"I won't let go today.
I'll revel in the chill."
"I won't let any of your tricks work."
"I want your | ove..
your | ove.. your love, O beloved!"
"I want your | ove..
your | ove.. your love, O beloved!"
"I tore up the calendar
that kept a count of your wait."
"Shower me with your love now,
O darling!"
"Shower me with your love."
"Shower me with your love."
"I tore up the calendar
that kept a count of your wait."
"Shower me with your love now,
O darling!"
"Two is better than one,
three is better than two."
"Come, let's fall in love."
"I want your.."
"I want your | ove..
your | ove.. your love, O beloved!"
"I want your | ove..
your | ove.. your love, O beloved!"
Oh damn! We're dead!
How do we escape the
effects of the viagra?
Think of something bad. Something
disgusting, distasteful. -Ok.
Disgusting? Just a minute.
What?
You rascal, you're looking at your
mom-in-law's photo in this condition!
Disgusting.. disgusting!
Even my breath goes limp in
front of her, the pole is nothing.
It worked!
I too have an idea.
It worked for you too!
Hey, I also have an idea.
That was a bad idea.
Careful, man!
Wow, buddy!
I saw a piano being played
with a flute for the first time. -Yes.
Hariprasad Chaurasia meets Beethoven.
Do you know any other songs?
Prem, is everything fine?
You're upset as if
you broke something.
Here, bandage it.
Bandage? It's totally bent out here!
I'm following you around like crazy..
..and you guys are hiding from me!
Ragini, I was ready for fun.
But what to do, I'm slightly injured.
My stomach is upset.
My mind is upset.
I mean, a headache.
Stop making excuses.
You don't know about my powers.
Had I wanted, I could have
made you do anything. Anything.
But it's not fun if it's forced.
Moreover,
you'll have to fulfill my wish.
Or e | se..
I'm ready.
ReaHy?
Have you gone mad, Prem?
If you do something with her..
Life isn't great anyway.
There can't be a more beautiful
way to commit suicide.
I'm ready, ma'am.
Are you sure?
-Yes.
Tonight at 9 pm,
wait for me in your room.
Just a minute.
Hold your tongue until then
and give me time for recovery.
Really? I understood.
We'll meet directly at night.
Prem, my friend.. my brothen.
We'll miss you after
returning to Mumbai, buddy.
Meet, let's pack our bags.
-Yes.
Just a minute,
let's take a photo of his. -Why?
We'll need it for Prem's photoframe.
-Shut up.
I'm not going to do
anything with her. -What?
Then why did you commit to her?
What was the need to take
a stray arrow on your butt?
Shut up.
Friends, I have an idea.
-Oh no!
Babu Rangeela.
Very loose in character.
The gigolo of the village.
Male prostitute.
Male prostitute?
Yes. Even if there has to
be a sacrifice, it need not be us.
He charges 5000 for each visit.
I offered him 50,000.
50,000?
We don't have to pay him anyway.
Once he does it, he's gone.
Prem, you're a genius.
Hi, guys!
Myself, Babu Rangeela.
This guy? Can he do it?
Hey! Don't underestimate
Babu Rangeela.
My clientele is spread far and wide.
Look at this item.
Deepika?
Katrina!
Sunny Leone.
Sunny Deal?!
Actually,
I showed you the wrong album.
I'm a fan of these people.
I'll show you the client album.
-It's 0k, let it be.
Look, there's no dearth of money.
But come what may,
don't change your mind.
Once I commit,
he doesn't listen to me either.
Wow, that's great!
Sir, please wait inside.
She'll be there in a moment.
Hurry up, I don't have time.
This fish took the bait.
Come, let's pack our bags. -Yes.
Surprise!
-Hi, baby!
Just when we got rid of one witch,
three more have arrived!
Dar | ing..
-Dar | ing..
What a pleasant surprise!
How come you're here?
You must be tired. Sit down.
Come, sit.
Did you three think
why we've come here?
Why have you come here?
It's Karva Chauth
(festival) tomorrow.
So we wanted to surprise
the three of you.
Karva Chauth. How sweet!
We can't stay away
from you on such days.
Hello! How much longer
will you make me wait?
Who is he?
Who is he?
-Who is he? Tell them.
He's come to buy the mansion.
Oh, he's come to buy the mansion.
These three can't be relied upon.
If this mansion has to be sold,
then we only have to do something.
Come.
Listen to me.
Hello.
-He | | o.
Are you an agent?
Hey! I'm not an agent,
you can say 'customer' instead.
Oh.. Ok, look,
the structure is in front of you.
Tell me, how do you like it?
I loved it.
I'm ready, come.
Really? Then shall
we discuss the money?
They've already discussed that.
The deal has been finalised at Rs.
50,000. Come.
50,000? Have you lost your mind?
It should atleast be 50 million.
50 million?!
Look at his face.
Even 60 million is not much for him.
- Absolutely.
60 millions!
60 millions! Nobody in my
family has ever earned that much.
Sir, are you fine?
Sir..
-60 million!
What has happened to him?
Didn't you hear? His whole
family hasn't earned that much.
These beggars just drop
by to check out the house.
Baby, let him be.
Why don't you go and freshen up?
Yes, we'll take care of him.
Ok? Go on.
He wasted so much of our time.
Let's go.
Yes, go.
What about him?
Betrayal!
You betrayed me!
You promised to have fun with me
and called your wives over instead.
No, we didn't call them.
He.. he brought them here.
-Yes.
He's the bone in the throat.
He brought them here
so that we couldn't have fun.
You don't worry, I'll punish him
when he regains his senses.
You don't have to do
all that with me around.
Do you guys really
want to have fun with me?
Are you saying this out of fear?
No, true lust knows no fear!
Really? Then come.
No?
No, I mean.. won't it be
awkward with the wives around?
If we three can't have fun,
then how can you have fun?
Once they leave, we'll do as you wish.
Until then,
you'll have to wait a little.
Don't worry.
I won't have to wait for long.
Friends, let's do one thing.
Let's tell our wives that
there's a ghost here. -Yes.
Yes.. and also tell them..
..that we wanted to have
a good time with that ghost.
Now that ghost wants to have
a great and grand time with us.
Oh god, I'm tired of this problem.
Tired?
-Yes, don't trouble me.
Here, the three of us have prepared
a tasty meal for the two of you.
Eat it.
Yes, we will.
What are you staring at? Dig in!
Oh.. now even they're
asking you to dig in.
Don't worry, darlings.
Neither can they see me, nor hear me.
How can you all resist it?
It looks so tempting.
These guys aren't going to
eat vegetarian when there's chicken.
Where did you get this chicken from?
It was loitering in the balcony,
we caught and slaughtered it.
Babu!
Rangeela. The rascal deserved it.
Look, eat what you want.
But the breast piece
is for my husband.
It's his favourite.
Is it?
-Oh!
Favourite?
Darling,
why didn't you tell me earlier?
Don't eat if you don't want to,
atleast don't make faces.
Ok, forget it.
Meet loves the leg piece.
Come what may, he never skips it.
Don't leave it today either.
Stop. Stop. Please stop.
Don't stop. Don't stop.
Nobody is forcing you.
You too can leave it if you want.
Leave it.
Please.
Ok, no problem.
Amar will eat the chicken.
No, I don't want to each chicken.
-Why?
It's Saturday today.
Yes.
-I' | | eat the noodles.
Oh, chew with your mouth closed.
What's wrong with the three of you?
We prepared the meal so lovingly
and you three are misbehaving.
Damn disgusting! Let's go from here.
Yes, let's go.
Rekha..
-Nisha.. Listen to me, Nisha.
Actua | | y..
-I don't want to hear anything.
Shut up!
-Listen to me.
Nisha..
First you insulted our food.
Who knows what else you'll do now!
Nisha, you beauty,
I can't resist your booty.
Sorry, I didn't..
Rascal, how dare you
molest your friend's wife!
I can't even think like
this about my friend's wife.
Rekha, time for some fun.
You! He's outraging my modesty
and you're doing nothing about it.
Hey! You rascal, how dare
you molest your friend's wife!
Dar | ing.. Hey dearie..
I told you to save my modesty,
not outrage her.
Sapna, why cover up?
Get a taste of Meet too.
You rascal, I couldn't
imagine that you'd stoop so low.
Get lost!
Sorry, baby.
Even I couldn't imagine
that you all would stoop so low.
We're not going to
stay here a moment longer.
Get out! C'mon, let's go from here.
Baby.. listen to me..
there's some misunderstanding
Listen to me, Rekha!
Nisha!
-Rekha!
Sapna!
Please believe us, dear.
We don't know how this is happening.
We always wanted to..
..outrage your modesty!
Baby, don't go.
If you stop, I'll hack off your legs.
0h god!
Listen to me, dear.
Or I'll stick a broom on your butt.
You'll dance like a peacock
for the rest of your life.
Hey Raju, get the broom!
Get the broom!
Broom?
These guys have gone mad.
Let's run from here, c'mon.
Baby.. wait..
"Silk scarf.."
Ragini, were you doing all this?
I told you,
you wouldn't have to wait for long.
Baby! Wait up!
Dar | ing..
careful, the gates are electrified.
No?
No!
Run!
The gates aren't electrified.
What type of current
is this that hits only us?
Is this is a house or a circus?!
What have you been upto,
you good-for-nothing!
It's a circus, mom.
They were misbehaving
with us while we were here.
After we left,
they got busy with each other.
What are you doing?
Why are you holding my hand?
All of you?
-Here?
Very bad, Prem.
All of us came to give you a surprise.
I thought that all of us
would holiday together as a family.
Yes, then we met sister on the way.
She told us about your antics.
Now you've seen
everything for yourself.
There's no need for
us to stay here now.
Come.
-Wait.
Nobody is going anywhere.
It's quite late.
We're all staying here.
But mom..
-Don't worry.
I'll keep an eye on them.
All the men will sleep in one room.
All the women will sleep in another.
If any of you misbehaves..
..I' | | break your legs!
C'mon!
What bad luck!
First, it was just our wives.
Now, even the relatives are here.
-Yes.
Who knows when we'll come together.
Shut up!
You three have fooled me enough.
To hell with the fun!
Now it's going to be forced.
Prem, come here.
What if I possess your sister-in-law?
Prem..
..what if sister sees
us getting hanky-panky?
No.. no.. no hanky-panky!
Amar, come here.
What if I possess your mom-in-law?
I'll relive my youth on this pretext,
darling. -No.
Meet, what if I possess
your brother-in-law?
Lakshman!
Then it'll rip you apart.
No!
-Yes.
N9, no!
Oh man, what is this!
You got scared!
Not just scared, I freaked out.
Not just him, all of us freaked out.
What is it?
Your friend's brother-in- | aw's photos.
If he pins down a man,
he wears him out.
Look at how he grips from the front!
Grips what?
-See this.
His bear hug is beyond comparison.
That's bad.
If he locks them in his thighs, even
the strongest would fall. See this.
RiP IOU apart!
Meet!
It's time to go to sleep.
We'll hug tightly and sleep.
It'll be great fun.
I need to pee.
-I' | | join you.
We'll do it together.
-Get lost!
Meet!
Ragini.. where are you?
You've won, I've lost. Ragini!
"Silk scarf.."
"..tied around the neck.."
Oh shit! Ragini is
inside Amar's mom-in-law.
No, I won't be able to do it.
Meet, climb up the gallow
or Lakshman will climb on you.
What are you doing here?
I'm ready to do it.
What?
That which you always wanted.
What are you doing?!
You're stripping in front of me!
You're getting naked!
What are you doing?!
I'm getting ready to make love.
Look, I don't have much time.
Take your clothes off quickly.
What?!
-Yes.
Come here, don't irritate.
-Hey
Hey.. save me!
-Don't confuse me.
Don't waste time.
-Save me!
Meet!
Good that you came,
see what this fool is doing to me.
There's no need to say anything.
-Ok.
His fallen pants reveal everything.
Wow, Meet!
After seeing your actions today..
..my respect for you has increased.
Respect has increased?
Meet, this was my idea,
so I'll implement it.
No, Prem..
..don't take off your clothes.
-What's wrong with both of you!
I'm there. I've taken off my clothes.
-What do you mean?
I'm doing it, Prem.
What are you doing?
C'mon, take me.
-What?
No, Prem. You have a wife,
a sister-in-law, take care of them.
I'll take care of her.
No, Meet. I'll take care of her.
No, Prem, I'll do it.
-No, Meet, I'll do it.
No, Prem..
No, Meet..
-God, save me from these horny men!
Shut up.
Now when we both are ready,
you're acting pricey.
Now you tell me, whom do you want?
Amar! Amar!
Oh, so she wants Amar.
-Amar?
Amar!
-Amar!
Amar!
-Amar!
Amar!
-Amar!
I'm here.
Amar, see what your rogue
friends are doing with me.
I've understood everything.
I could never imagine that
you both would think like this.
I'm don't regret that
you thought like this..
..but I regret not thinking
about it before you.
Hey oldie!
Stop shouting and get in the bed.
Have you lost it!
Now one more crazy
guy to join these two!
Somebody help me!
Go, Amar! Go, Amar!
Hey! He's gone mad.
-No, Amar! No, Amar! -Leave me.
Forget that, look there.
Sapna, see what these
three are trying to do with me.
We set out to be the hunter.
Instead we're going to be hunted now.
Mom, did they do
such a thing with you?
Yes. Now even the elders
aren't safe in this house.
Lust has driven them mad.
Only one person can save us
from this trouble now.
I've lost it! I've lost it!
I've lost it!
-Good that you've come, master.
It's good that you've come.
What happened?
You've been lying around these days.
You know what happened with me?
Mama's darling boy went astray.
Not just went astray,
he even pounced on mom-in-law.
Bad thing! Very, very.. bad thing.
Sire, please do something.
Yes, sire. You're the only hope now.
Sire, what will you do?
Please tell me.
We'll perform a fire sacrifice.
The answer to those three
horny men is in my bag.
Tonight, I'll summon all the spirits
and perform such a sacrifice..
..that their lust wi | | ..
Out.. out run out!
Sire, will they roam around
freely like this till then?
I have a solution for that,
Saira Banu.
Worry.. why worry?
You and me are locked in
a room and the keys are lost.
Sire, the keys.
Open, dear.
Safe deposit.
Now you'll get the
keys only after the ritual.
C'mon now.
Praise be to the singing master!
Sire..
-Mom..
Mom, don't do this.
It's my birthday today.
And you're all standing
here with such gloomy faces.
We should definitely
have some song and dance.
Ok, I'll sing.
"I made an entry and bells
began to ring in the heart."
"Listen to the commentary
of the heart and love is guaranteed."
Mom, where is the sound
of bells coming from?
It's the master's grace, my dear.
The master's arrival has
transformed the house into a temple.
It's either the bells ringing
or the offerings being made.
Praise be to the Singing Monk!
Had fun?
We'll keep the rest of
the fun for our time together.
You've made me wait a lot.
You'll have to pay
the price for the delay.
Now I don't want one of you,
but all three.
All three?
-Yes.
By the way,
you have time till tonight.
Go and meet your wives.
Tell her whatever you want.
I'll wait for my gift at night.
It's my birthday and
the day you three die.
We'll celebrate all three togethen.
..tonight.
Here's your salad.
Go on, you also join us.
Why aren't you three eating?
Well, mom..
No, don't tell me..
..that you have observed
a fast for them.
They aren't worth it.
Eat your food. Eat it.
You're absolutely right, mom.
By misbehaving with you,
they've crossed all limits.
I hate them.
Marrying them was the
biggest mistake of our lives.
They destroyed our lives.
To observe a fast for such a disgusting
man is an insult to the custom.
They used to swear by
our love once upon a time.
And today,
they're eating on Karva Chauth day.
It's good that Ragini is killing us.
We'll be rid of them.
They're a blemish on
the reputation of wives.
Death is better than
living with such wives.
We've decided who amongst the three of
us will get into bed with you first.
Really? Who?
Nobody.
What?!
Don't you know the
consequences of refusing me?
Don't yuu!
Shall I tell you something?
I'm very cowardly.
The smallest of things freak me out.
But today, despite you standing
there and saying all this..
..I'm not scared.
Because we know that our
wives are observing a fast for us.
That's why you can't harm us.
You trust your wives so much.
Ok, let's see.
Hey! What was that noise?
What happened?
Let's check it out, mom.
-C'mon.
Out.. out run out!
What's going on here?
And who is she?
All of you can see her?
She's not a ghost
to be invisible to us.
Who are you and what
are you doing in this house?
I live here since the last 70 years.
20 years as a human.
50 years as a ghost.
If you're a ghost, then look here.
I'm a witch.
Your mom-in-law will
get herself killed. -Really?
Shut up! She's pretending
to be a ghost in my presence.
Somebody explain to her
how terrifying I am to ghosts.
Witches feed their children
by showing my photo.
They tell them to sleep,
or else the Singing Monk will arrive.
Isn't it?
-Yes.
That's why I'm telling you, my chi | d..
Out.. out run out!
Out.. out run out!
If you're a ghost,
then I'm a large tree.
Huge organic watermelons
pop out of me all day..
..for the well-being of mankind.
Isn't it? -Yes.
Oh no!
-What happened to the master?
Watermelon!
Thank god he didn't say pineapple.
Oh god! She's really a ghost!
Ghost! Ghost!
Do you know why I appeared
before all of them?
So that I can kill the
three of you in their presence.
Now I'll see how their
fast saves your lives.
Dad's staff?
-Dad's staff?
Mine?
No.
Dad's staff.
Dad's staff.
It seems it's her father's staff.
-What?
See this.
She's under control now, the ghost!
Where were you hiding
all this while? Where?
You don't know how much
she has troubled us. -Yes.
Now it's our turn.
Hey, shut up, what?
You keep making weird
noises all the time!
Are you mad?
Stand quietly or I'll slap you hard.
Slap? Just a slap?
You're very soft-hearted, Amar.
Haven't you heard the adage, ghosts
don't yield to talks, but kicks.
Hand it to me. -What?
The staff, what else!
Give it to me.
Mad ghost,
you'll pop out watermelons, eh!
Now see how I make you
pop out a bowl of fruit salad.
What are you guys doing?
Let's run from here.
How can we leave?
The party has just begun.
C'mon, let's go to the dance floor.
Burn to ashes, beautiful!
We're going to make
you die a terrible death.
And you won't be able to
do anything to us. Take that!
Exactly. This is known
as killing the snake..
..without breaking the staff.
Prem..
-Shut up, Amar.
You don't know about my fury.
Once I lose my coo | ..
Dad's staff broke.
..I calm down quickly.
Oh god, run!
Brother!
Atleast everybody is
receiving the shock now.
Even the watermelon popping
out of me didn't give you the brains.
Who told you to grab the doors?
He's mad.
Two minutes. Just two minutes.
That's all the time
left for all of you.
The moment dad's fire burns out,
your pyres will burn.
What do we do?
Idea!
Igor it!
See this, your dad's underwear.
Fear it!
You fool, she feared her
father's staff, not his underwear.
To scare her you've
to call her father directly.
Yes, but how?
-How..
The Singing Monk.
-Yes.
Master!
Master, only you can save us from her.
I don't know to summon spirits.
What?!
-Yes.
See, I press the buttons
on this to move the coin.
What?
Not this ghost,
I'll choke you to death.
C'mon, just chill.
It's dirty, but it's business.
Sire, give me the bag.
Give me the bag.
It seems we'll have
to do something. -Yes.
Bloody imposter! Let's go.
Place your fingers on it.
Wherever you are daddy spirit,
please appear!
Wherever you are daddy spirit,
please appear!
Wherever you are daddy spirit,
please appear!
Wherever you are daddy spirit,
please appear!
Oh man! Why isn't this coin moving?
Buddy, before I die,
I want to say something honestly.
I know that it's my idea
that gets us killed every time.
The coin moved.
HOW?
Truth along triumphs.
I understood.
My father used to say..
..that to summon a spirit, the mind
should be clean and the soul honest.
But I always resorted to lies.
That's why I could
never summon a spirit.
But the moment Prem spoke the truth,
the coin moved.
That means, if we speak the truth,
the coin will move?
Yes, it surely will.
Then what are you wondering?
Speak the truth quickly.
But what?
Say that you can't find
a better mom-in-law than me.
I can't find a better
mom-in-law than you.
Speak the truth.
Amar, the fire is burning out.
Sneak m
You're a mad old woman.
You've ruined my life.
If you really miss
your husband so much..
..then instead of bringing him down
to earth, why don't you go up instead?
You'll be happy and so will I.
The whole world will be happy,
damn you!
Damn yuu?
Shut up, Amar.
The coin moved.
-The coin moved.
Well done, Amar. Continue.
-Yes.
Hey, what do you mean by continue?
Will I alone speak the truth?
You also speak the truth
about your brother-in-law.
What about me?
Nothing, just that you're
the apple of my eyes. My darling.
Thank you, Meet.
The coin isn't moving.
Meet, the fire..
Speak up!
You're not the apple of my eyes,
but the rot in my love life.
You cross-connection!
Seeing you, I realised why
people curse their brothers-in-law.
You're not a human, but a wild bull.
Not a wild bull, but a donkey's.
Did you understand?
He called me a bull.
I hate you, Meet. I hate you!
The coin moved.
-The coin moved.
The coin moved.
Prem, it's your turn now.
Say it.
My name is Prem. I'm a man.
I'm 32 years old.
You loser, we're not submitting
our bio-data for a job.
You've to speak the true
feelings of your heart, rascal.
Prem, speak the truth.
One needs brains to think
and you lack it, foolish girl.
You keep saying, Prem shook..'
Not me, but you're
shaken in your head.
Because of you sleeping between us my
rat is suffering from plague. Plague!
Sisten.
-Sorry, dean.
What nonsense are you talking?
Prem, the coin moved. Oh!
That's done.
Now, we just need
to speak one more truth.
Enough. Dare you say another word.
Do you hate our family
members so much? -Yes, we do.
Do you know why?
Because they keep us away from you.
You turn a blind eye
to us in their presence.
That's why we came
here to cheat on you.
But now we rea | ise..
..that we were cheating
ourselves and not you.
Because all the fun in the
world can't match up to your love.
And today, we swear on that | ove..
..that we'll die but never betray you.
Dad..
-Not your dad, but Babu.
I'm Babu Rangeela.
I'm of loose character.
Because once I commit.
..then he doesn't listen even to me.
Even I have a staff
to bring you under control.
Babu.
Rangeela.
I loves you.
WOW!
Crazy.. Choti?
Bu | | .. Lakshman?
Choti, aren't you ashamed?
What will the elders of
the house think if they see you?
What will they think?
Sorry, we made a mistake.
They did a mistake.
MOm!
Dad! I mean, master!
Not master, but the master's staff.
They're talking about your mother.
Come.
Mom..
Earlier, she used to be shameless
and look at her blush now.
Dad.. hello.
Forget the hello and quickly
touch my feet, you fool.
Why quickly?
-We've to go on a honeymoon.
Oh.. everybody goes on one.
Thanks, Babu.
You saved the lives of our husbands.
But you came to see the
house yesterday, isn't it?
Then how did you die all of a sudden?
What happened?
Don't eat chicken ever again.
Become vegetarians.
Ok.
Ok.
Sorry, I troubled all of you.
But what could I do?
That's the nature of fun.
You didn't get it for six months
and this was your condition.
Think about it..
I waited for 50 years.
It's alright.
We can understand.
In fact, we should be thanking you.
Thank you, Ragu.
Your horror story
set our love story right.