Grumpy Old Santa (2023) Movie Script
[silence]
[Up on the housetop instrumental playing]
Up on the housetop, reindeer pause
out jumps good ol' Santa Claus.
Down through the
chimney with lots of toys
all for the little
ones, girls and boys.
[door knocking]
Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn't go?
Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn't go?
Up on the housetop, click, click, click
Down through the
chimney with good Saint Nick
Hurry up, baby girl we can't be late.
First comes the stocking of little Nell
Oh, dear Santa, fill it well
Give her a dolly that laughs and cries
one that will open and shut it's eyes
Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn't go?
Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn't go?
Up on the housetop, click, click, click
Down through the
chimney with good Saint Nick
[Up on the housetop instrumental playing]
Down through the
chimney with good Saint Nick
Down through the
chimney with good Saint Nick
[Up on the housetop instrumental playing]
[bowling ball thud]
Hey, how's my favorite Longhorn?
Hey, Uncle Kris.
The whale all-timer. Let
me give Maddie some love.
[groaning]
I missed you, aunt Julie.
How was your first semester?
Uh, so fun but a lot of work.
Hell.
It's nice to be home for
a few weeks and recharge.
I bet you missed your
momma's home cooking too.
Did I ever?
If I had known mom
was going to cook like that
every time you come home from college,
I'd have you coming home every weekend.
You know what they say?
The way to a man's heart
is through his stomach
or sometimes it all
actually do is take a saw and
saw the sternum in half and
then take clams ripped wide open.
You get a good look at the heart that way.
That was weird, Kris.
Yeah.
Hey, Penny. Thanks for pitching in today.
Yeah, my pleasure.
Yeah sure. Okay. Well,
best of luck to you guys and
let's gobble, gobble, gobble.
Let's get the turk shoot on the road.
[bowling pins falling]
[clapping]
That's my baby girl. Whoo!
Hey, Dad. Do you think Mom's okay?
Yeah. Why? Did she say something?
She just doesn't seem like herself.
[silence]
She look fine to me but right now,
we have a title to defend.
We'll see about that old man.
Hey, Deuce.
Morning, Nic.
Where is your partner?
I traded up this year.
[electronic music playing]
[electronic music playing]
[electronic music playing]
[electronic music playing]
Yep, he just got back
from serving his twenty.
Hey, what took you so long?
I'm sorry, man. I had to
help a little old lady cross the street.
She didn't make it.
Yeah, we kind of pretty darn close.
I almost had asked my wife to join us.
So, Spike, long time no see.
What's up?
Yeah, so Nic and Maddie
they won the last two years
in a row, but this year
that dog won't hunt, Nic.
Spike, show them what you can do.
[spit]
[pop music playing]
[bowling ball rolling]
[bowling pins falling]
[laughing]
Do you hear those phones, huh?
We got a dead ringer, baby.
Yeah!
Hello, hello, hello, hello.
Welcome East Texas. All right.
Here we are at another grumpy
old Santa turkey shoot out.
Thank you for coming.
Okay, let's start with
the prizes this year.
We got some good ones, folks.
We got some good ones. All right.
First prize is a 7-night cruise
out of Galveston for two.
How about that? Second
prize, we've got a two-night stay
at the San Antonio Riverwalk.
How romantic is that?
Third prize is you
don't have to pay the fee
for next year's tournament
and you can wear this turkey suit.
[laughing]
Turkey surprise, I guess.
All right, get your practices
in we're going to start
the turkey shootout.
Here we go.
[megaphone thud]
[whistles]
I got to get in shape.
Are you okay?
I should start running.
[instrumental music playing]
[bowling ball rolling]
[bowling pin falling]
Man, these guys are good.
Yeah, you don't have to tell me.
Back in high school, Spike was
the one guy I could never beat.
[background sound only]
[bowling ball rolling]
[bowling pin falling]
[clapping]
[bowling ball rolling]
Oh, come on, come on. Yes.
[background sound only]
[bowling ball rolling]
[bowling pin falling]
Hey.
Hey.
[glass thud]
[glass clink]
Maddie seems like
college agrees with her.
Yeah, she's doing good.
So how is it being an empty nester?
The days are a little longer but...
It's a change and change
takes time to get used to.
It's not just that.
Okay, 30 second warning in 5,4,3,2,1.
Ball!
[laughter]
Did you see that?
Oh, looks like I'm on my
own for score keeping.
[instrumental music playing]
[bowling ball rolling]
[Background music playing] Time flies
There you go [inaudible].
[bowling pin falling]
[cheering]
Strike!
You're back. You're back.
Woow!
Hey, folks. While we
wait for our first turkey,
let's give Spike some
thanks for his service.
He is back now. Welcome home, Spike.
[clapping]
Thank you, Kris.
Looking good over there, buddy.
[crowd clapping]
[laughing]
Well, thank you for your service.
We're you kicked out of
the military? Is that so?
Yeah, okay.
[holiday music playing]
Oh, we got a turkey. We
got a turkey. We got a turkey.
[holiday music playing]
Yeah! Oh, right here. Right here.
[cheering] Wooh.
[clucking sound]
[bowling pin falling]
Pow, pow, pow!
[bowling pins falling]
[holiday music playing]
Love it.
[holiday music playing]
[cheering]
Nice!
[holiday music playing]
Right, down by the
middle. Come all with it.
[bowling pins falling]
Yes!
Turkey, turkey.
[holiday music playing]
[bowling pins falling]
We have another turkey right over here.
[bowling pins falling]
Oh, we have a turkey right there. I saw it.
We have a turkey right
there. We got you, buddy.
[bowling pins falling]
Let's go. Let's crack it.
[bowling pins falling]
- Yes, that's it!
- Yeah!
That's it. Right there.
Man, where is that?
Whoa! I have no idea.
[holiday music playing]
[bowling pins falling]
Strike!
[chuckles]
[holiday music playing]
Terry[?], you can't yell turkey
because you like your turkey sandwich.
You're not even bowling,
you're just drinking.
Now stop it. You're confusing everybody.
I mean, why do we invite the guy?
I mean, he ruins it every year.
[holiday music playing]
[bowling pins falling]
Wohoo!
All right, we got a turkey.
We got a turkey right here.
We got a turkey right there.
[bowling pins falling]
Oh boy, oh boy. Yeah!
Yeah!
In first place by TKO.
Rubbles without the claws, spiking duos.
Congratulations, fellas.
Yeah, we win.
- It hurts[?] you.
- We win! We win!
That's our tournament this year, folks.
Thank you for coming out
and have a great afternoon.
We'll see you next year.
[holiday music playing]
You okay?
Yeah.
Still love me?
Always.
Would a soda make you feel better?
I'll be right back.
[footsteps]
Silent night
Holy night
All is calm
All is bright
Round yon Virgin Mother and Child
Holy infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace
[fishing rope rolls]
Yeah, that Spike is
something of a bowler, isn't he?
Yeah. Which is exactly why
he should be banned
from next year's tournament.
[laughter]
Not very Christian of me, huh?
That's all good.
Hey, I spoke to my sister last night.
I guess she got a promotion.
Oh, she's still a cop.
Yeah.
Dallas is lucky to have her.
Good for her. Way to go, Twinkie.
[laughter]
Yeah, I don't know if
she ever appreciate you
calling her Twinkie.
Well, thanks for telling
me 30 years too late.
[chuckles]
She and that lawyer
fellow ever get hitched.
No, she's been waiting
for him to pop the question.
Well, he better not wait too long
because patience is not one
of your sister's strong suits.
Yeah, that's for sure.
Speaking of relationships,
you and Penny doing any better?
[background sound only]
Well, that's a bit of a bait-and-switch.
Well, I'm just worried about you guys.
You don't need to. We're good.
[tongue clicking]
Well, are you sure?
Because Julie said that
Penny's been struggling a little bit.
Struggling with what?
I don't know she didn't say.
[sigh]
You know what, I think
she's just having a hard time
with being an empty nester.
She going to have to do a
better job with occupying herself
while I'm out on the oil fields.
I think you should take
what Penny's going through
a little more seriously.
Well, I had plan to take her
on a cruise if we have won that
bowling tournament but Spike
came along and put an end to that.
Now, the funny thing
is, I don't think Spike's
going to even use those tickets.
He only bowls for the love of the game.
- Really?
- Yeah.
My bowling is a a bit
of a religious experience.
Amen to that.
You know what I ought to do?
I'll ought to call him and
see if I can relieve him
of those tickets.
Yeah, well, you can do that.
But I don't think you need
to take her on a cruise
to show you love her.
I mean, just throw a burger
down her throat and fatten her up,
and tell her that she seems cool, you know.
You might just be the
worst Pastor on this planet.
[chuckles]
I'm just kidding. Take
her to a nice dinner.
Tell her you love her, talk
to her, pay attention to her.
When was the last time
you bought her flowers?
[soft music playing]
Uhm, at her mom's funeral.
Oh, you're an idiot.
[soft music playing]
[car door opening]
[birds chirping]
[car door closing]
[breathing deeply]
Thanks for the great Christmas.
I love you guys.
- We love you too.
- Love you.
So you drive safe.
See you soon, Buttercup.
[kiss]
[instrumental music playing]
Book 'em, Horns.
See you, dad.
[instrumental music playing]
[car door closing]
[instrumental music playing]
From now sixty
I wanted all that I have
[kiss]
Tell me when did it change your way
That's our baby girl.
[instrumental music playing]
Now in the mirror I see
Someone I don't wanna be
I love you, honey.
Sorry, I got to go back to work so soon.
[instrumental music playing]
I'll see you in a week.
[kisses]
Wait a little longer,
we begin stronger side
Phew!
Oh, man. I bet you kissed a
lot of pretty girls in this thing.
Oh, I did. Not... not right
here, but mostly in the bed.
[cellphone ringing]
Hold on a second.
[cellphone ringing]
Hello.
Hey, Spike it's Nic.
Listen. I was just wondering
if you might be interested
in selling those cruise tickets you won.
It's Nic.
Bowling Nic?
He wants us to sell
them to cruise ticket.
Do it.
[laughing]
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That sounds great.
Well, so what's a... what you're offering?
Oh, I don't know. I was thinking,
somewhere in the neighborhood
of a... say a thousand dollars.
[laugh]
It sounded like you said one thousand.
We want ten thousand dollars up front.
American cash in [inaudible].
Well, I'll tell you
what? Why don't you just
go fly a kite.
All right, we'll take the thousand.
Will see you tomorrow.
All right, buddy. Thank you much.
All right.
[tongue clicks]
So, what are you going to do with your 400?
Fifty-fifty.
[laugh]
Spike's Fair.
[soft music playing]
Call Penny.
[soft music playing]
Hey, this is Penny,
please leave me a message.
[voicemail beep]
Hey, sweetie.
Listen, I just called to tell
you I love you and I miss you.
I'm looking forward to
coming back home tomorrow.
Okay, bye for now. Nope.
[soft piano music playing]
[explosion]
[soft piano music playing]
Nope.
[soft piano music playing]
[soft piano music playing]
[sigh]
[keys thudding]
[rustling sound]
[door closing]
[rustling]
You in here?
[door knocking]
[crickets chirping]
Just me.
[crickets chirping]
[paper rustling]
[crickets chirping]
Honey?
[crickets chirping]
[paper rustling]
[door opening]
[crickets chirping]
[door thuds]
[crickets chirping]
[exhales loudly]
[crickets chirping]
[dramatic piano music playing]
[paper rustling]
[sigh]
[crickets chirping]
Dear Nic,
I know it's a shock to find me gone.
My heart hurts to think of this moment
and the confusion you must be feeling.
But I just couldn't bear
to do this face-to-face.
You see, I've been empty for a long time
and with Maddie gone the
emptiness is suffocating.
But please don't blame yourself.
You are a wonderful
person and I do love you.
I'm just not in love with you.
I pray that someday you can forgive me.
Goodbye, Nic.
[soft dramatic music playing]
[soft dramatic music playing]
It just doesn't make any sense.
Why would she throw away everything
without even fighting for it?
I don't know, maybe Penny thought
she didn't have any other options.
I mean, God knows she has enough
love and support from
the people around here.
And that's what I can't understand.
I mean, I thought we had a great marriage.
Get this, her letter to
me said that she loved me
but that she's just not in love with me.
Now what kind of crap is that?
[silence]
The kind that hurts pal.
Listen, I just want you to know.
I'm always going to be here for you.
I'm talking about a 30-year marriage.
And now all communication between us
has to go through her
fancy Nashville lawyer.
[snoring]
What a joke.
[sigh]
So much for the till
death do us part thing.
[wind blowing]
[grunts]
What? No, yes. Listen, you'll be fine.
Penny was... is kind of a floozy. You know?
Do I need to remind you that you were
talking about the mother of my child?
[silence]
No, she's good. No,
you're right. She's fine.
You're going to be fine.
[soft dramatic music playing]
[wind blowing]
[footsteps]
They retired you yet old man?
[scoff]
Who you calling old? You've
been here longer than I have.
[chuckles]
How was your honeymoon?
Oh man, tiring.
[chuckles]
Well, that's what happens when you marry
someone 20 years younger.
Tell me about it. Love her to
death I'm really feeling my age.
I hear you.
[inhales deeply]
You know, I'm thinking about
getting back into the dating scene myself.
So how did you meet your wife?
Little dating app called Lasso[?].
A lot of weirdos on there though.
Yeah, I appreciate the heads-up.
I might just have to do that.
Well, happy hunting.
[rustling]
Thanks. I could use
some happy right about now.
[somber music playing]
[water flowing]
[fishing rod reeling]
Whoa! Whoa, whoa.
- You got one.
- Whoa! I got a big one. Get the net.
Yeah. Yeah, don't break the line.
[water splashing]
[grunts]
Whoa. It's going to be a big one.
Yeah.
[groaning]
This could be the one I
tell my grandkids about.
[fishing rod reeling]
[laughter]
[water pop]
[soft piano music playing]
Or not.
Man, that had to be a 10-pounder.
[soft piano music playing]
[sigh]
I thought we would do so much better today.
My granddaddy always told me
that people eat more and fish
bite better during the holidays.
[soft piano music playing]
Is he the one that used to eat dog food?
[soft piano music playing]
Anyways, speaking of the
holidays, is Maddie going to join us
for the grumpy old Santa fundraiser
And it's kind of a sore subject.
Her mom, decided to that
she would come visit us
with her new whatever he is.
Oh, I see.
[soft piano music playing]
How about those
package, right? Pretty good.
I am completely
disgusted with you right now.
I mean, is it me or is he a complete jerk?
Who? Tim? I loved
him. That guy's awesome.
We're laughing together...
[soft piano music playing]
No! He's a jerk. He's a jerk. No.
[soft piano music playing]
On a happier note, my
sister's moving back into town.
[sigh]
- Oh, Twinkie?
- Twinkie, yeah.
No kidding.
Yeah.
Well, she wanted a change
from the divorce from that creep,
we shall not mention his name and then,
after 20 years of law
enforcement, she's able to retire.
So she's coming back home. Yeah.
Well good for her.
Yeah.
Hey, you two should
enter the fundraiser together.
Well, if she bowls anything
like she did 20 years ago,
Spike won't stand a chance.
You know he won't.
[laughing]
[fishing rod reeling]
Yeah, I think I got a big one.
All right. Your turn.
[fishing rod reeling]
All right, don't lose it.
[car engine running]
[piano music playing]
[car door opening]
[sighing loudly]
Always a pleasure, bud.
That was fun. Thanks.
Hey, guess who's
going on a date tomorrow?
No way.
- Yes, Sir.
- No way.
Now was that so surprising?
Ah, say, you haven't
been on a date in a long time.
No, congratulations. You're
getting back in the saddle.
Yeah, good for me.
Yeah. Who's the lucky gal?
Well, that's the deal. I don't know.
What do you mean you don't know?
I met her on a dating
app called Lasso[?].
Lasso[?]? What is she an animal?
[wind blowing]
What is wrong with you?
A buddy of mine from work
turned me on to the app.
That's how he met his wife.
So, I figured why not give it a shot?
Yeah, all right, I know. Be careful.
Those things can be dangerous.
When exactly did you become my mother?
Well, I'm just saying, you know,
you can get tuna fish
or something, you know.
Some of those gals turn
out be dudes, you know?
[background sound only]
[door opening]
I appreciate your concern.
Trying to help.
[rustling sound]
[car closing]
[car door closing]
See you later?
See you.
[car engine running]
[wind blowing]
[gun thuds]
[footsteps]
[wind blowing]
[door opening]
[rustling]
[tin can clank]
[rustling]
[door slams]
[country music playing]
Appreciate it.
[background conversation]
[country music playing]
[sigh]
[country music playing]
[door opening]
[footsteps]
[country music playing]
[country music playing]
Nope.
[country music playing]
Ohh.
Do you see that girl in the
dress and [inaudible] ass?
Yeah, I saw that.
[chuckling]
Let's go.
[country music playing]
[background conversation]
[laughing]
Woo! All right, two of
usual, please. Thank you
Spike and Deuce is
going to tear it up tonight.
That's right, baby. Oh, oh, oh, oh
Check at this one at the bar.
Oh, yeah. Look at that.
[laughing]
Thank you.
Oh, man.
Nic.
[country music playing]
Just when I was having a good time.
[sigh]
Oh, man. I know you guys
got beef but what's the deal?
All right, here's what happened.
I was in junior high, right, 13 years old.
He asked the love of
my life Missy Lipschitz[?]
to go to the junior prom
before I even had a chance.
What? That's terrible.
I know. It's a bad last name.
Anyway, that's why I went to the military.
Try to get it all out of my system.
You know what little people up?
- That makes sense.
- Yeah.
So how many did you kill?
None. I never got to shoot a gun.
- What?
- Yeah, I was in the accounting department.
Always good with numbers.
So Missy Lipschitz[?], did
you have to catch up with her?
No, I never got the chance.
That's what chaps my hide.
[country music playing]
[axe thump]
[country music playing]
[axe thudding]
[country music playing]
What's up, buddy?
What the hell you doing here, Nic?
All these years.
You still got an axe to grind.
[country music playing]
[breathes deeply]
Oh, I thought I'd tell
you, Missy Lipschitz died.
[country music playing]
Come on, let's get out of here.
[chair scrapping]
I can't wait until they see's
her at the Christmas party.
[laughing]
[footsteps]
[country music playing]
[cellphone vibrating]
[paper rustling sound]
Hey, Dad, what's up?
Hey, sweetie.
Be truthful, yeah, I'm a little
worried about something.
What's going on? Are you okay?
Oh, yeah, I'm just
over here at Ray's Place
and waiting on my date.
[sigh]
Dad, women are always late.
That may be true but right now,
I've been waiting for over an hour and
try to track her down through
the app and so far no luck.
[moans]
That is odd. What do you
know about this woman?
Not much.
She's brunette, real
pretty, about 40 years old.
Forty?
[laughing]
What's wrong with that?
[scoff]
Dad, what did you put on your profile?
[clicks tongue]
Uhm,
good old stud.
[chuckle]
Oh, my Lord, dad.
Well, what you don't think
that accurately describes me?
Grumpy old Santa's more like it.
Well then why don't you
tell me what I should do?
[guitar music playing]
Okay, well, come on
over and I'll take a look at it.
Give me about 10 more
minutes we'll see if she shows up
and I'll be on over the house.
Okay, bye.
[guitar music playing]
Ray. Why don't you
just put that on my tab if you would.
[guitar music playing]
[exhales loudly]
Sheesh, dad!
What?
Okay, so maybe I'm not Matthew McConaughey
but seriously, is it that bad?
How old is this profile picture?
Like 10 years? Okay, 20 years old.
Seriously, dad.
Well, I'm trying to catch fish here.
I thought you were kidding when you said
you set up your page as a good old stud.
I don't need to kid. I still got it.
You catfish that poor lady.
I don't even know what that is.
Cat-fishing is when you
set up a fake dating profile
and you trick people into
getting money out of them.
Well that's something
about a bottom Peter[?]
would do not your dad.
Well, your date probably showed up and
saw how old you are and
got the heck out of there.
Ouch. What is so terrible about dating
someone younger than
you? Your mom's great at it.
Not nice.
Just be honest on your profile.
Cat-fishing will get you banned.
Certainly wouldn't
want that. Help me dear.
[sigh]
Okay,
Let's start by updating
your profile picture.
[thump]
Without the hat dad.
Okay.
Okay.
All right, Dad, smile.
[camera clicks]
Yeah.
Look.
I would date me.
It's much better. All
right. Put on a pot of coffee.
This is going to take a minute.
Okay, cream and sugar?
Yup.
[footsteps]
[gurgling sound]
There. Consider yourself upgraded.
Mmm. Thank you buttercup.
What would I do without you?
I shudder to think.
Hey, are you still going to
Uncle Kris's for Thanksgiving?
That's the plan, so on
your own for Christmas.
Oh, so you're going to spend it
with Mom and her new boy toy?
Dad. They're married
and Tim makes her happy.
He's good for her.
Now, we'll see how long that lasts.
You're so angry.
[somber music playing]
I wish you could just
find a way to forgive her.
And then maybe, we could
spend Christmas together again,
You know, you act,
like it's all my fault.
You do remember that
she's the one that left me?
[sigh]
[somber music playing]
I know that Mom hurt
you, but she's still my mom.
And I hate that you guys
put me in the middle of this.
You're right.
[somber music playing]
I'm sorry.
[somber music playing]
I just wish that things had
stayed the way they were.
[somber music playing]
I do too. But they didn't,
and it's time to accept that.
[somber music playing]
Yup.
[somber music playing]
[thudding sound]
[breathes deeply]
You know, you didn't need to
leave the room to make your point.
[somber music playing]
I need peace and I'm
sorry if I hurt your feelings.
[clicks tongue]
Honey.
I'm not that thin-skinned.
Besides, you were right.
[chuckles]
[somber music playing]
I just want to help.
I know.
[plate clanking]
[somber music playing]
[kisses]
[somber music playing]
[thud]
[groaning]
Nice shot.
[thud]
[breathing heavily]
[car engine running]
[thud]
[inaudible]
[upbeat music playing]
[car engine revving]
[upbeat music playing]
[car engine revving]
[upbeat music playing]
Holy Moly!
[upbeat music playing]
[car door closing]
Hey Sis.
- Hey, bro.
- How are you?
So good.
Twinkie, it's been a long time.
I'm going to stuff you like a
twinkie if you keep calling me that.
I told you.
[chuckles]
How's your trip?
It was great. Nothing
like sun, sand, and a
little Margaritas to put
some perspective in your life.
[laughter]
You drive that thing all
the way down to Mexico?
Yeah, even did a little beach camping.
Nice.
But, all right, come on
in we'll get some turkey.
Excellent. I'm ready fort this.
[utensils clinking]
Are you going to keep staring
or do you want a picture?
I'm sorry. I just thought you'd
be saving room for dessert is all.
I always have room for dessert, Nikki.
[moans]
[silence]
Let's pray.
[clicks tongue]
Dear Lord, thank you for this
wonderful Thanksgiving dinner
with all the great food we have,
with our friends and
families and loved ones.
Bless us, O Lord and these these thy gifts,
which we are about to
receive through thy bounty
through Christ our Lord, amen.
Amen.
Amen.
[moaning]
[utensils clinking]
Hey, Nic!
[munching sound]
How was the dating app?
Well, if we're keeping a score.
I am zero for two right now
because the first one
completely stood me up.
And the second one we
just didn't have anything
in common so, it got awkward.
How so?
[clicks tongue]
Well, she kept bragging
to me about her grandkids,
about how they had these
halos all around their heads.
I'm pretty sure she was nuts.
[laughter]
Well, you can't fix crazy right?
But you can break them up.
[utensils clinking]
[glass thud]
What app you're using?
You know, it's a thing called Lasso.
Never heard of it.
Yeah, a buddy of mine
from work turned me on to it.
Maybe I'll try it out.
[utensils clinking]
[moans]
This is delicious.
Oh, yeah. I'm already thinking
about loosening in my belt.
[scoff]
I already did.
[laughing]
How do you like teaching kindergarten?
Oh! I love it. It can
be a little challenging
but when you see the
way that the kids progress
there's nothing like it.
Better you than me, darling.
I'm never was really good with kids.
Well, Sandy, tell us
about your trip to Mexico.
Did you get any trouble down there?
Oh no. I didn't mess with
anyone and nobody mess with me.
Might be because you used to be a cop.
[laughing]
And it was one heck of a great time.
So,
Kris mentioned to me that
you might be interested in
partnering up with me
for the grumpy old Santa
fundraiser this year.
What about Maddie?
My mom is coming into town. So,
[clicks tongue]
I probably won't this year.
Well then, I would
just love to play with you.
[soft music playing]
Sandy. Could I have some stuffing?
[soft music playing]
Yeah.
[soft music playing]
Thank you.
[soft music playing]
[thump]
Wo-ho!
Turned out the lights
because the party's over.
I don't believe I've heard
the fat lady sing just yet.
[rustling]
[thump]
- Yo.
- Whoa!
It's time for [inaudible]
dessert, you all. Come on.
Let's go cowboy.
[instrumental music playing]
[thump]
[instrumental music playing]
What?
[instrumental music playing]
[snores]
[instrumental music playing]
So, any special man in your life yet?
[chuckles]
I went on a few dates
but nothing's clicked
and schools, really busy right now.
You're young and
beautiful and it will happen
when it's meant to.
Thanks, Aunt, Julie.
I wasn't expecting
to meet Kris when I did,
and at the East Texas fair of all places.
[laughing]
Didn't he try to take
you on the ring of fire?
Try to, he did.
I guess he was trying to
impress me but it backfired
and he got so sick.
[laughing]
Already I love that man.
[snoring sound]
I will never get tired
of hearing that story.
[laughs]
Is their guitar, guitar, guitar,
guitar, guitar guitar. Yeah.
[TV playing on the background]
Touch down cowboys!
What? Who scored?
Just kidding. It's halftime.
[TV playing on the background]
[upbeat music playing]
That is not funny.
Well, it's kind of funny.
[thump]
[upbeat music playing]
Terry. Terry form your
shot. Terry form your shot.
[snores]
Oh, what is it?
[TV playing on the background]
What did I miss? Julie? Nic? Sandie?
[TV playing on the background]
[groans]
I miss it.
[TV remote clicking]
Is there any turkey left?
[chair creaks]
[footsteps]
Is there any turkey?
[utensil clanking]
Who ate all the turkey? Hot. Damn.
[utensil clanking]
[wind blowing]
[cellphone clicking]
[horse neighing]
Oh, hot.
Damn!
[upbeat instrumental music playing]
[cellphone clicking]
[upbeat instrumental music playing]
[cellphone clicking]
[whoosh sound]
[upbeat instrumental music playing]
[cellphone clicking]
[upbeat instrumental music playing]
[exhales deeply]
Big old stud is back in business.
[upbeat instrumental music playing]
[chuckles]
[upbeat instrumental music playing]
[wind blowing]
So I would have guessed you to
be much more of a Tex-Mex gal.
Oh, I am. But I think that
Italian is far more romantic.
[romantic music playing]
You okay.
[romantic music playing]
Yeah, I just haven't had
anybody other than Penny
use the word romantic with
me, since I was in my mid-20s.
I'm sorry if I spoke too soon.
No, it's nice.
Seems pretty clear
that we like each other.
Hmn-mm.
And when I like
something, I speak my mind.
And I admire that.
Yeah, we're not kids anymore, Nic.
Hmm. No. No, we're not.
[exhales deeply]
So could I ask you a personal question?
Ask away.
[breathes deeply]
What exactly ended your relationship?
[background music playing]
How much time you have?
[chuckling]
That's funny.
Well when we first met,
I fell head over heels in love with him.
But I think, that I was just
too young to really know what love is.
And we're both workaholics.
I'm just got so involved
in our own lives that
one day we just quit talking
and grew part from there.
[dramatic music playing]
Yeah, I can relate.
So, does it scare you
a little bit, the idea of
getting involved with somebody new?
[dramatic music playing]
Life is a gamble, Nic. I
don't want to live mine in fear.
[inhales sharply]
Should we order some more wine?
Thank you, but I think I'm good.
I wouldn't want you to
have to carry me out of here
Bartender, we got a lightweight here.
Okay, maybe strong.
[laughing]
It's just that,
after all these years I finally figured out
that it's the third glass that
does to tend to loose me up
just a little bit too much.
Wow, that is good to know.
Bring us some more wine.
Yes, ma'am.
[soft piano music playing]
[rustling sound]
[exhales]
I had a great time tonight.
[crickets chirping]
You know,
I have always had a big old crush on you.
[crickets chirping]
And what about your brother?
[chuckling]
You can't have him. He's married.
[laughing]
No. I mean,
[sigh]
Kris is my best friend and I just
wouldn't want to do
anything to jeopardize that.
[crickets chirping]
Life's too short to worry
about the little things.
My brother probably would
be more worried about you
than he is about me anyway.
Because he knows I can take care of myself.
[scoff]
Well, that is certainly true.
[laughing]
[soft music playing]
Look, I'll pump the brakes a little bit.
[soft music playing]
Let you catch your breath.
[First Thing On My Christmas
List instrumental playing]
Thank you.
Christmas time is here
Lets get out the decorations
It's my favorite time of the year
Let's go pick out our tree
Then we'll stuff the stockings
and hang up the mistletoe
The nights are getting colder
I'll put another log on the fire
How about some hot apple cider
That sounds real good to me
We're singing along to
Christmas songs on the radio
Candy canes and chocolate kisses
Yuletide cheer and Christmas wishes
First thing on my Christmas list is you
First thing on my Christmas list is you
Oh, look at that.
[First Thing On My Christmas
List instrumental playing]
I can't wait for you to open your gift
(You're the only present I need)
I can't remember the last
time was, I had this much fun.
And the night is still young.
Yes, it is.
Santa you've (I've)
been extra nice this year
I really like you.
The feeling's, mutual.
But what if I go too fast?
Maybe you need a safe word.
Yeah, here's my safe word.
[soft music playing]
Too fast?
[soft music playing]
I don't know. You may
need to do that again.
[soft music playing]
[Christmas is Coming instrumental playing]
Whoa! I feel like a man.
[billiard ball rolling]
Good one.
[chuckles]
Nice.
[Christmas is Coming instrumental playing]
Christmas is coming, the
snowflakes will be falling
It's the most wonderful time of year.
[Christmas is Coming instrumental playing]
So hang up, your stockings,
put the tinsel on the tree
because Christmas is coming, my dear
[Christmas is Coming instrumental playing]
[cellphone clicking]
[yawning]
Oh, I'm tired. Coffee, morning.
[rustling sound]
[coffee pouring]
Good morning. Good morning.
[clanking sound]
[cellphone clicking]
Stud muffin.
[Christmas is Coming instrumental playing]
Stud muffin.
[Christmas is Coming instrumental playing]
Your stud muffin.
[Christmas is Coming instrumental playing]
[silence]
Hey Lord. It's me again.
[silence]
I need some help. My sister
and her new stud muffin.
[silence]
She got hurt pretty bad last time,
I can't see her go through that again.
[birds chirping]
Yeah. Oh yeah. First Peter 5:7.
[birds chirping]
"Cast all your troubles on me."
Yeah.
[fishing rod reeling]
Because I'm casting, right?
That's pretty funny, Lord.
Also, see if you can help my friend, Nic.
He's very lonely.
He needs someone to
[birds chirping]
Maybe a fish for me today.
[birds chirping]
Yep. They're always my
favorite fishing buddy, Lord.
[birds chirping]
[burger sizzling]
Make mine medium, stud muffin.
Yeah, I got mine rare.
Oh, rare. How rare?
Yeah. I'm talking about so rare
that a good vet could save it.
[laughing]
Well you got me a veggie burger, right?
I did. It's a veggie
burger made out of meat.
[laughing]
[crinkling sound]
[sizzling sound]
Oh, I like that.
[laughing]
Here.
- How about that?
- Hmn, even better.
[sizzling sound]
[laugh]
[sizzling sound]
Okay.
[sizzling sound]
What's up?
That's better sweet taste than you are.
[laughing]
[cellphone clicking]
[swoosh]
[cellphone clicking]
[swoosh]
[cellphone clicking]
[message ding]
[cellphone clicking]
[message ding]
[cellphone clicking]
[swoosh]
[instrumental music playing]
[message ding]
[instrumental music playing]
[cellphone clicking]
[message ding]
[instrumental music playing]
[cellphone clicking]
[message ding]
[instrumental music playing]
[message ding]
[cellphone clicking]
[message ding]
[instrumental music playing]
[car engine running]
[DJ over the radio]
Wow, I love this song.
[Up On The Housetop
instrumental music playing]
Up on the housetop, reindeer pause
Out jumps good ol' Santa Claus
Okay, okay, I can't even hear myself sing
with that thing blasting.
Honey, you're singing doesn't help.
Where is your holiday spirit?
[wind blowing]
Give her a dolly that laughs and
[humming]
[wind blowing]
[sigh]
Stop.
[wind blowing]
[sighing loudly]
[wind blowing]
Fine, Grinch.
[wind blowing]
[humming]
[wind blowing]
[humming]
[thump]
[car engine running]
[silence]
[glass thud]
[car honking]
[car engine running]
[magazine rustling]
[footsteps]
Shoot.
[door rattling]
[door opening]
Hey, hey, hey.
[laughing]
Oh, sorry. How you doing? Bring it in here.
It's so good to see you.
Okay, my turn. Oh, it is
so good to see you, honey.
[giggling]
Hey, Mom.
[moaning]
Are you guys moving in or what?
Oh, that's probably my fault
and I probably brought the wrong things.
It's so warm outside.
The weather changes
every five minutes. It's Texas.
Hey, I'll take it and
thanks for inviting us.
That's all your mom could talk about
for the past several months.
Tim.
Oh.
Well, follow me. I'll show
you where to put all that.
[cellphone dings]
[silence]
[message beep]
[cellphone clicking]
[message beep]
[silence]
[cellphone clicking]
[message beep]
Do we have dinner plans?
Yeah, I was thinking, take out.
[cellphone clicking]
Oh, so that's a no.
[cellphone clicking]
[message beep]
[silence]
[message beep]
[silence]
[cellphone clicking]
[silence]
[cellphone clicking]
[message beep]
[cellphone clicking]
Okay, Julie's house.
Chicken and dumplings tonight.
[birds chirping]
So how's teaching going?
It's tiring but I'm still at it.
[background sound only]
The kids love you.
[background sound only]
So, is there new going
on in your personal life?
No I'm enjoying being single.
I kind of like doing my own thing.
Wow, right! That's a great pickup.
I'm sorry, sorry. Fantasy football.
[sigh]
How was Thanksgiving with your dad?
It was great. We went to
Uncle Kris and Aunt Julie's,
and had a wonderful
time. And Sandie was there.
I think she might be
moving back to East Texas.
Sandie.
[scoff]
Haven't seen her in years.
You know, when she was young she used
to have this crazy crush on your dad.
[silence]
Are they?
Mom?
[piano music playing]
That was delicious. Hands down the best
chicken and dumplings I've ever had.
Thanks Tim.
So this is your grandma's recipe?
Sure was. I just added
a little extra cilantro.
She would've been very proud.
[clicks tongue]
So Tim, when we first met you,
you said you did Goat Yoga.
How do you teach a Goat Yoga?
[laughing]
No, no. We don't teach them
yoga. They're too stupid for that.
[laughing]
Be nice.
Right, right, right.
Actually, what happens
is the goats walk on your
back as you're doing
yoga poses. So relaxing.
Right.
Unless it has a bowel movement.
Oh, we wouldn't want that, right?
[laughing]
Honey, honey. He was
just trying to get your goat.
[laughing]
Good one.
[laughing]
Hey, Maddie. We're
going to miss you at the
grumpy old Santa bowling
tournament this year.
Did you say bowling?
Wait, you're not
teaming up with your dad?
Not this year?
What is he doing?
He ask my sister to join him.
[silence]
Oh.
[whimsical sound]
That's interesting.
I want to be in the tournament.
That is a great idea.
You have room for one more team, right?
Ah, well. I don't know.
Let me check that.
[rustling]
Excuse me.
[footsteps]
I shouldn't have said that.
[footsteps]
What did we do?
I don't know.
I mean there's room but
Nic's going to be there.
I know. I'm worried about the same thing.
[inaudible] That's fine. That's fine. C
It's still early. Should
we do something else?
I'm game. What do you all have in mind?
We could go to Carmela's lights.
Bowling.
Oh yeah, that's a great idea.
I've got my ball in the car
plus we could use the practice.
Let's do it. Well, this
[glass clinks]
[message ding]
Oh, bad, bad bad. Bad, bad, bad, bad.
Dear, Lord, please forgive
me for the lie I'm about to tell.
You might want to say, amen.
Amen.
[laptop closes]
[footsteps]
[chair scrapping]
[clears throat]
Yeah. Well, I think I left my
laptop back at the church.
[chuckles]
I'll check the website entries tomorrow and
then see if there's a spot
this open up for you guys.
Okay, thanks. Well, I appreciate it.
Yeah, I love if it's
God's will ever workout.
[laughter]
[background sound only]
[bowling ball thudding]
[background sound only]
How is it going to be such a relief
off our shoulders once we tell Kris.
I just hope he can forgive
me for not telling him earlier.
Don't sweat it, he has to forgive you.
He's a pastor.
[background sound only]
Now, what do you say we enjoy this night
and leave tomorrow for tomorrow?
Deal.
[background sound only]
[exhales loudly]
[background sound only]
You're right.
[background sound only]
[bowling ball thudding]
Oh, that's nice. That's the money.
[bowling pin falling]
Oh, that's the money.
[clapping]
- Beautiful.
- That's the way to start it.
[Christmastime Again
instrumental music playing]
Christmas lights are
hanging from the trees
All around the world it's Christmas eve
[bowling pin falling]
Happy birthday Jesus
Let the celebration begin
[yelps]
Singing First Noel and
Silver Bells and silent Night
Deck the Halls and rum pump um pum
and Rudolph's nose so bright
Joy to the World,
little town of Bethlehem
Is lane six available?
Yes, ma'am it is. Enjoy.
Thanks.
Let's go, babe.
Santa is bringing
all nice girls and boys
[bowling ball falling]
Pow, pow.
Wow, nice shot dad.
A sleigh filled up with
all their favorite toys
Hi. Honey. What you doing here?
Same as you.
Hi, Nic.
Penny.
[clicks tongue]
So is this a date or a practice session?
That's a loaded question.
And this must be?
Tim, Dad.
Put it there, partner.
Oh, don't be fast but I
ain't going to bite, you know.
[laughing]
Nice to meet you, Jim.
It's Tim.
Appreciate you crushing my bowling here.
[laughing]
That's funny. Hey, it's nice to meet you.
I'm going to get back to stretching
You guys aren't done yet, are you?
Oh, I've got a few more rolls in me.
And the truth is,
I need to seriously get in some practice
if this is going to be the
year, I finally beat Spike.
[clears throat]
Now, he looks pretty good if you ask me.
Well, they say the first
thing to go is the eyesight.
Are you calling me old?
Dad?
I was just kidding.
Get him, baby.
[Christmastime Again instrumental playing]
Let's do it.
[Christmastime Again instrumental playing]
[bowling pin falling]
[Christmastime Again instrumental playing]
[bowling pin falling]
[Christmastime Again instrumental playing]
We believe it's Christmas time
We believe it's Christmas time again
[bowling pin falling]
[sighing]]
It's about enough
bowling for me for one night.
I'm going to bowl a few
more before I pack it in.
Okay. I'm headed to the Pro Shop.
They've got a beautiful new
ball. I want to take a look at.
Well, don't be too long, stud muffin.
I didn't need to hear that.
[bowling ball thudding]
What's up, Tommy?
[footsteps]
[door creaking]
[footsteps]
[bowling ball thudding]
[rustling sound]
[door creaking]
Nic, can I have a minute?
[rustling sound]
For what?
[rumbling sound]
I miss you.
You don't mean that?
Yes I do, Nic. I'm so
sorry. I made a big mistake.
You made a big mistake.
Can we just talk about it?
There's nothing to talk about.
We have both moved on with our lives.
You found yourself a good guy
and I finally have someone in
my life that makes me happy.
- Can I get a refill on cocoa?
- Yeah, absolutely.
Thanks.
But didn't I make you happy?
Why do you do this?
[dramatic piano music playing]
We had 30 years of marriage.
Thirty years, that you ended.
I think still love you.
Do you still love me?
[dramatic piano music playing]
There will always be a
part of me that loves you.
Yes.
Then could we give this another try?
We're done.
[dramatic piano music playing]
Please, Nic.
[dramatic piano music playing]
Here's that hot cocoa?
[dramatic piano music playing]
Please.
[gasp]
[dramatic piano music playing]
[sigh]
You've already ruined my life once.
You don't get to do it again.
Sandy!
[door creaking]
Sandy, wait.
[sobbing]
Sandy!
[footsteps running]
Sandy, stop.
[sobbing]
That was not what it looked like.
How stupid do you think I am?
She hugged me, not the other way around.
Did you expect me to believe that?
Yes, I do. Because it's the truth.
[dramatic piano music playing]
I love you.
[dramatic piano music playing]
I told myself I wouldn't
let anyone hurt me again.
[dramatic piano music playing]
And that includes you.
[car door opening]
[car door slams]
[car engine starting]
Come on.
[car engine running]
Sandy!
[dramatic piano music playing]
[dramatic piano music playing]
[birds chirping]
[fish rod reeling]
[sigh]
Everything all right, buddy?
[fish rod reeling]
Yeah, yeah. They can get
my heart stomped on again.
I'm just dandy
[fish rod reeling]
Well, then this is going to
make it even harder to tell you.
[fish rod reeling]
Tell me what?
[water pop]
Well, Penny wants Tim and
Maddie to be in the fundraiser.
[water splashing]
And the hits just keep
on coming don't they?
Yeah. Well, I understand
if you want me to say no,
I'll say no.
It's okay. Truth is I don't
give a hoot what penny does
if wasn't for her, I'd still have Sandy.
[thump]
Sandy?
[fishing rod reeling]
My baby sister Sandy?
[fishing rod reeling]
Yeah.
[fishing rod reeling]
Look, I was going to tell you about us but
[fishing rod reeling]
We just got carried away
in keeping it a secret.
[water flowing]
Can you forgive me?
[scoff]
[fishing rod reeling]
Yeah, as your best friend,
I wish you would give me
the courtesy to at least
talking to me about it.
Yeah, I know.
[birds chirping]
I think we're wrapping it up around here.
[background sound only]
[sigh]
Hey, I'm sorry.
[tense music playing]
That was a beautiful sermon
last weekend on forgiveness.
[tense music playing]
[tense music playing]
[tense music playing]
[rustling]
Thanks, buddy.
[car door opening]
[tense music playing]
[car door slams]
[tense music playing]
So you're her stud muffin?
[tense music playing]
Afraid so.
Boy, my sister and my best friend
now I know God has a sense of humor.
Can you forgive me?
Yes.
That's a relief.
Let me ask you a question.
Do you love her?
Well, I mean, at this point
it's not like it even matters.
Well I'd like to think that
my sister's worth fighting for.
[tense music playing]
[car door slams]
[tense music playing]
Hello.
How was it?
Yeah, enlightening. Yeah.
Yeah, Nic and I got to talking and...
Oh, yeah about what?
Well, it seems Penny
scared off his new girlfriend.
I love Penny and all but
sometimes you can't help but
be the center of attention.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, sounds like a messy love triangle.
[clicks tongue]
Yeah. Well, you know,
it took Nic, a long time
to get over her and even
longer for him to get out there.
You know, I mean, when
that man falls he falls hard.
Yeah, I know the feeling.
Yeah. Well, anyway how did your day go?
There's something that I need to confess.
Yeah, I'm all ears.
Nic and I are seeing each other.
Yeah, I know.
- You do?
- Yeah, Nic told me. Yeah.
Well, why don't you say anything?
Well, because you wouldn't take my advice
if you knew that I knew.
[sigh]
Clever, Pastor.
Yeah.
Very clever.
Thank you.
But still doesn't change what
I saw between Penny and Nic.
Yeah, I know but if you live in the past
you're going to miss
the gift to the present.
And plus I think, Nic's
a guy worth fighting for.
Think about it.
[birds chirping]
[pensive music playing]
[pensive music playing]
[footsteps]
[rustling sound]
[car door opening]
[sigh]
[car door closing]
[sighing loudly]
[background sound only]
Well, you could at
least look at me. I'm sorry.
Yeah, you should be.
[background sound only]
Can't let my grumpy old
stud muffin be half-dressed,
[chuckles]
Looks like my little Texas rose is back.
Well, I'm still mad at you.
And as for your ex,
she better hope I don't
bring out my thorns.
No, we wouldn't want that.
No, we wouldn't.
Now, we've got my costume to
pick up and a tournament to win.
Yes, ma'am.
[upbeat music playing]
Let's go.
[bowling pin falling]
[upbeat music playing]
All right, Team Nice made it.
- Yeah!
- This is our year.
[background conversation]
Where is Team Naughty?
[inaudible] with north pole.
Ha, ha, ha. They didn't make it.
[laughing]
Aunt Julie, I guess you
picked the short straw this year.
This is what you get
when you put the decision
on who wears this up for auction.
Cost me a pretty penny. Hey, Penny.
How are you? Hey, Jim.
It's Tim, at least I hope it
is. I'm wearing his underwear.
[laughing]
[thumping]
You're fantastic. All
right. Hi, how are you?
Hi!
[exhaling loudly]
Glad you could make it, honey.
Oh, me too, Dad.
[footsteps]
Penny.
It's good to see you, Nic,
Likewise.
Sandy.
Penny.
[scoff]
Don't arrest me, Santa. I
promise to be a good girl.
[bowling ball rumbling sound]
What's up Magic Mike?
Dad!
Does anyone in this family
have a sense of humor?
It's okay. He was only teasing me and
it's a pretty good one too.
[laughing]
You ready to get your
butt kicked by your old man?
Yeah, right. We've been practicing.
That we have.
[chuckles]
Then may the best team win.
Whoo-hoo. Let's go.
[footsteps]
[whimsical music playing]
[grunts]
Be the ball.
[whimsical music playing]
Let's roll.
[whimsical music playing]
You handled it like a champ.
Honestly, I was thinking of
punching her porch lights out.
I'm glad you didn't.
Makes for an awkward Christmas.
Hmn.
[whimsical music playing]
She keeps staring at us.
Well then, what do you say?
We give her something to stare at.
[whimsical music playing]
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
I am.
[giggling]
Hey, you two let's keep it rated G.
[giggling]
[whimsical music playing]
[whimsical music playing]
Your dad seems happy.
He deserves some happiness.
Hey, I think Nic's a great guy.
Too bad we're going to beat
him on his home turf though.
[soft music playing]
I'm glad he was able to move on.
[soft music playing]
[soft music playing]
[bowling pin falling]
[grunting]
This thing up? 2,4,
6, 8 this thing up? Hello.
Hey, folks welcome. Welcome, welcome.
To the 2023 Grumpy Old
Santa bowling shootout.
We're excited you're
here. And you know what?
With your ad[?] donations and your fees,
we've raised over 35,000 dollars this year.
So we're pretty proud of that.
And it's all for the angel tree
program as you know, you know.
We're giving Christmas
gifts to families in need
with children under the age of 14.
So, it's an excellent,
excellent thing you're here for.
Before we get the ball rolling here.
[laugh]
Ball rolling. You get that? I
want to ask you a question.
What are the bowling pin
say when they heard a joke?
[pause]
He fell down laughing.
[laughing]
He fell down. He fell down laughing.
All right. Okay. So
anyway, without further ado,
we're going to tell you about
the prizes we have this year.
They're pretty good. We've
got a 14-day all-expense-paid
vacation to Italy. That's first
prize, how about that, huh?
Not only that, but you get
your picture up there on a
grumpy old Santa Wall of Fame over there,
so that's pretty good.
Second place is seven night
Caribbean cruise right out of
Galveston. Pretty excellent, huh?
Third prize is you're fired. You're fired.
No, just kidding. Though[?] you get to wear
a turkey suit next year at the tournament.
So don't get third place.
Okay. The last rule is
have fun. Have fun. Okay.
[silence]
You heard was second place is right?
You like cruising.
Whatever. Bring it on.
14 day trip to Italy would
make a great honeymoon.
[background sound only]
We're going to get going
about five more minutes here.
So get your last practice rolled in
and thank you for coming. All right.
Terry, no more. Put the beer down.
No, no, you don't get two. No, no.
Sally cut him off.
[bowling pin falling]
It's December 2nd,
the snow begins to fall
Babe I'm getting ready,
we're gonna have a ball
So babe let's hang out stockings
And put the presents beneath the tree
Turkey! Turkey!
Oh, we got a turkey.
Year again, Christmas is here
[bowling pin falling]
We got another turkey
over there, [inaudible]
It's time for celebration
[bowling pin falling]
Come on. Here you go.
[bowling pin falling]
Whoa. I'm going to say something. Hey.
Hey, folks. Yeah, I usually
don't do this until halftime.
Well, it looks like something
incredible is happening.
Mr. and Mrs. Claus of Team Checking My List
is two strikes away from a TKO.
[cheering]
Christmas is here
[bowling pin falling]
Baby let's raise
[cheering]
Okay, we're about one strike away
from a TKO Tournament tie breaker.
[footsteps]
[suspense music playing]
[bowling ball rolling]
[suspense music playing]
[suspense music playing]
[bowling pin falling]
[crowd cheering]
Turkey! Turkey!
[bowling pin falling]
[Christmas is Here
instrumental music playing]
It's December 2nd
Oh, yeah, Oh, yes.
The snow begins to fall
[laughing]
Yeah!
Babe I'm getting ready
[cheering]
[clucking sound]
[bowling pin falling]
Woo! [Inaudible[ like a turkey.
[bowling pin falling]
Woo-hoo!
Yes!
[inaudible] back in my
wife back on my jean, right?
Christmas is here
[bowling pin falling]
Ha-ha!
[Christmas is Here instrumental playing]
It's time for celebration
Turkey, turkey, turkey.
[Christmas is Here instrumental playing]
The holidays have come
Yeah, we got another turkey. Turkey.
Oh, look out a turkey. All right.
[bowling pin falling]
[cheering]
Yeah, baby. Come on win a turkey. Turkey.
[clapping]
[inaudible] team Rubles
without a Claws is tie with Snickerdoodles with seven turkeys each.
Christmas is here
[bowling pin falling]
[crowd cheering]
Baby let's raise our glasses
[clapping]
- Whoa!
- Let's do it!
Because Christmas time is here
It's time for singing and dancing
[crowd cheering]
let's spread a little Christmas cheer
[Christmas is Here instrumental playing]
[bowling pin falling]
[Christmas is Here instrumental playing]
Come on, baby that's it, That's it.
[bowling pin falling]
[sigh]
[Christmas is Here instrumental playing]
[crowd murmuring]
[bowling pin falling]
[Christmas is Here instrumental playing]
[bowling pin falling]
Hey, luck babe.
[Christmas is Here instrumental playing]
[bowling pin falling]
Hey, folks we're five
minutes left, looks like
Tim and Maddie will be at the second place.
Can you hear us now?
[bowling pin falling]
[shouting happily]
We can be [inaudible] on that.
Okay. Times up. Times up.
All the way, times up.
[silence]
[exhales loudly]
[silence]
Hey, Terry go home.
Yeah. You're drunk again.
[background sound only]
So much for a trip to
the Caribbean. Baby. Sorry.
There's always next year.
All right, that's our tournament folks.
Thank you very much for coming out
and supporting this great cause.
Thank you very much for coming
here, it as a great tournament.
[clears throat]
I'll just leave you this last thing.
[pause]
What are did the bowler say
when he got caught stealing?
[silence]
I was framed.
[laughing]
That's right.
Wrote that myself. Okay,
first place. Mr. and Mrs. Claus,
[crowd clapping]
Congratulations. Oh, yeah, congratulations.
Thank you, Sir.
Congrats. You get a hat.
Yeah. Good job.
All right, second place
goes to Tim and Maddie.
[crowd clapping]
Congratulations, congratulations.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
I'm going to the Caribbean.
And third place goes to
in Rebels without a Clause.
You guys get to wear
the turkey suit next year.
[gobbling sound]
We're going to make another one for you.
All right, good deal. Good
deal. Oh, wait one more thing.
Don't forget about our
Christmas Eve candlelight service
at Hallsville First Methodist
Church, you know, at 7:00 o'clock.
See you at Christmas Eve? All right.
[silence]
Before we light the candles,
I'd like to give you a little
history of why this is such
a cherished tradition for me.
Ever since I was young I can remember,
having the privilege of
attending a candlelight service
on Christmas eve.
[pause]
And it's not just their tradition
it's much more than that
these candles symbolize Christ
coming into the world of darkness.
A light that gave us joy,
peace, kindness, love
by teaching us forgiveness.
He forgave us and so taught us,
how much better the world could be when we
stopped keeping score
and learned how to forgive?
So, as we light these candles
and sing of this most precious night.
Let us remember to practice forgiveness,
and bring that light to the world.
[silence]
Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon Virgin Mother and Child
Holy infant
I'm sorry.
It's okay.
Merry Christmas.
[Silent Night instrumental music playing]
Merry Christmas.
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace
[solemn music playing]
Well, wasn't that delicious?
It was very good.
How about something sweet?
Well, that sounds nice.
A special dessert for you, Ma'am.
Compliments of the chef. How on Earth did
[soft music playing]
How on earth did they know?
Gee, I can't imagine.
[chuckles]
[soft music playing]
Well they really dressed it up.
Enjoy.
[chuckles]
Now I'm only eating this so the chef
doesn't get his feelings hurt.
Oh, of course.
[laughing]
[soft music playing]
[moans]
[laughs]
[soft music playing]
[panting]
Maam, are you choking?
[gasping]
Somebody help. She's choking.
[chair scrapping]
[choking sound]
Everybody back. I got this.
[choking]
[ring clinks]
[breathing heavily]
Oh.
[breathing heavily]
Are you okay?
[breathing heavily]
Well, since I am already on my knees.
Will you marry me?
[laugh]
Yes, yes. I love you.
I love you. I'd put
the ring on your finger
but it's real sticky.
[laughing]
Sir, you just saved my fianc's life
and I don't even know your name,
It's Terry, from the bowling alley.
Hi, Terry, is there anything
I can do to repay you?
Buy me drink? So nice of
[piano music playing]
[birds chirping]
It's so nice of Tim and
Maddie to give us these
cruise tickets for our honeymoon.
[birds chirping]
[piano music playing]
[birds chirping]
Thanks, bud.
[birds chirping]
[clears throat]
At least it matches.
Uh-hmm.
[ship horn honks]
Kind of like it.
[purrs]
[Up on the housetop instrumental playing]
Up on the housetop, reindeer pause
out jumps good ol' Santa Claus.
Down through the
chimney with lots of toys
all for the little
ones, girls and boys.
Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn't go?
Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn't go?
Up on the housetop, click, click, click
Down through the
chimney with good Saint Nick
[Up on the housetop instrumental playing]
First comes the stocking of little Nell
Oh, dear Santa, fill it well
Give her a dolly that laughs and cries
one that will open and shut it's eyes
Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn't go?
Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn't go?
Up on the housetop, click, click, click
Down through the
chimney with good Saint Nick
[Up on the housetop instrumental playing]
[Up on the housetop instrumental playing]
Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn't go?
Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn't go?
Up on the housetop, click, click, click
Down through the
chimney with good Saint Nick
[Up on the housetop instrumental playing]
Next comes the stocking of little Will
Oh, just see what a glorious fill
Here is a hammer and lots of tacks
Also a ball and a whip that cracks
Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn't go?
Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn't go?
Up on the housetop, click, click, click
Down through the
chimney with good Saint Nick
Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn't go?
Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn't go?
Up on the housetop, click, click, click
Down through the
chimney with good Saint Nick
Down through the
chimney with good Saint Nick
Down through the
chimney with good Saint Nick
Good Saint Nick
Christmas time is here
Lets get out the decorations
It's my favorite time of the year
Let's go pick out our tree
Then we'll stuff the stockings
and hang up the mistletoe
The nights are getting colder
I'll put another log on the fire
How about some hot apple cider
That sounds real good to me
We're singing along to
Christmas songs on the radio
Candy canes and chocolate kisses
Yuletide cheer and Christmas wishes
First thing on my Christmas list is you
[END]
[Up on the housetop instrumental playing]
Up on the housetop, reindeer pause
out jumps good ol' Santa Claus.
Down through the
chimney with lots of toys
all for the little
ones, girls and boys.
[door knocking]
Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn't go?
Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn't go?
Up on the housetop, click, click, click
Down through the
chimney with good Saint Nick
Hurry up, baby girl we can't be late.
First comes the stocking of little Nell
Oh, dear Santa, fill it well
Give her a dolly that laughs and cries
one that will open and shut it's eyes
Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn't go?
Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn't go?
Up on the housetop, click, click, click
Down through the
chimney with good Saint Nick
[Up on the housetop instrumental playing]
Down through the
chimney with good Saint Nick
Down through the
chimney with good Saint Nick
[Up on the housetop instrumental playing]
[bowling ball thud]
Hey, how's my favorite Longhorn?
Hey, Uncle Kris.
The whale all-timer. Let
me give Maddie some love.
[groaning]
I missed you, aunt Julie.
How was your first semester?
Uh, so fun but a lot of work.
Hell.
It's nice to be home for
a few weeks and recharge.
I bet you missed your
momma's home cooking too.
Did I ever?
If I had known mom
was going to cook like that
every time you come home from college,
I'd have you coming home every weekend.
You know what they say?
The way to a man's heart
is through his stomach
or sometimes it all
actually do is take a saw and
saw the sternum in half and
then take clams ripped wide open.
You get a good look at the heart that way.
That was weird, Kris.
Yeah.
Hey, Penny. Thanks for pitching in today.
Yeah, my pleasure.
Yeah sure. Okay. Well,
best of luck to you guys and
let's gobble, gobble, gobble.
Let's get the turk shoot on the road.
[bowling pins falling]
[clapping]
That's my baby girl. Whoo!
Hey, Dad. Do you think Mom's okay?
Yeah. Why? Did she say something?
She just doesn't seem like herself.
[silence]
She look fine to me but right now,
we have a title to defend.
We'll see about that old man.
Hey, Deuce.
Morning, Nic.
Where is your partner?
I traded up this year.
[electronic music playing]
[electronic music playing]
[electronic music playing]
[electronic music playing]
Yep, he just got back
from serving his twenty.
Hey, what took you so long?
I'm sorry, man. I had to
help a little old lady cross the street.
She didn't make it.
Yeah, we kind of pretty darn close.
I almost had asked my wife to join us.
So, Spike, long time no see.
What's up?
Yeah, so Nic and Maddie
they won the last two years
in a row, but this year
that dog won't hunt, Nic.
Spike, show them what you can do.
[spit]
[pop music playing]
[bowling ball rolling]
[bowling pins falling]
[laughing]
Do you hear those phones, huh?
We got a dead ringer, baby.
Yeah!
Hello, hello, hello, hello.
Welcome East Texas. All right.
Here we are at another grumpy
old Santa turkey shoot out.
Thank you for coming.
Okay, let's start with
the prizes this year.
We got some good ones, folks.
We got some good ones. All right.
First prize is a 7-night cruise
out of Galveston for two.
How about that? Second
prize, we've got a two-night stay
at the San Antonio Riverwalk.
How romantic is that?
Third prize is you
don't have to pay the fee
for next year's tournament
and you can wear this turkey suit.
[laughing]
Turkey surprise, I guess.
All right, get your practices
in we're going to start
the turkey shootout.
Here we go.
[megaphone thud]
[whistles]
I got to get in shape.
Are you okay?
I should start running.
[instrumental music playing]
[bowling ball rolling]
[bowling pin falling]
Man, these guys are good.
Yeah, you don't have to tell me.
Back in high school, Spike was
the one guy I could never beat.
[background sound only]
[bowling ball rolling]
[bowling pin falling]
[clapping]
[bowling ball rolling]
Oh, come on, come on. Yes.
[background sound only]
[bowling ball rolling]
[bowling pin falling]
Hey.
Hey.
[glass thud]
[glass clink]
Maddie seems like
college agrees with her.
Yeah, she's doing good.
So how is it being an empty nester?
The days are a little longer but...
It's a change and change
takes time to get used to.
It's not just that.
Okay, 30 second warning in 5,4,3,2,1.
Ball!
[laughter]
Did you see that?
Oh, looks like I'm on my
own for score keeping.
[instrumental music playing]
[bowling ball rolling]
[Background music playing] Time flies
There you go [inaudible].
[bowling pin falling]
[cheering]
Strike!
You're back. You're back.
Woow!
Hey, folks. While we
wait for our first turkey,
let's give Spike some
thanks for his service.
He is back now. Welcome home, Spike.
[clapping]
Thank you, Kris.
Looking good over there, buddy.
[crowd clapping]
[laughing]
Well, thank you for your service.
We're you kicked out of
the military? Is that so?
Yeah, okay.
[holiday music playing]
Oh, we got a turkey. We
got a turkey. We got a turkey.
[holiday music playing]
Yeah! Oh, right here. Right here.
[cheering] Wooh.
[clucking sound]
[bowling pin falling]
Pow, pow, pow!
[bowling pins falling]
[holiday music playing]
Love it.
[holiday music playing]
[cheering]
Nice!
[holiday music playing]
Right, down by the
middle. Come all with it.
[bowling pins falling]
Yes!
Turkey, turkey.
[holiday music playing]
[bowling pins falling]
We have another turkey right over here.
[bowling pins falling]
Oh, we have a turkey right there. I saw it.
We have a turkey right
there. We got you, buddy.
[bowling pins falling]
Let's go. Let's crack it.
[bowling pins falling]
- Yes, that's it!
- Yeah!
That's it. Right there.
Man, where is that?
Whoa! I have no idea.
[holiday music playing]
[bowling pins falling]
Strike!
[chuckles]
[holiday music playing]
Terry[?], you can't yell turkey
because you like your turkey sandwich.
You're not even bowling,
you're just drinking.
Now stop it. You're confusing everybody.
I mean, why do we invite the guy?
I mean, he ruins it every year.
[holiday music playing]
[bowling pins falling]
Wohoo!
All right, we got a turkey.
We got a turkey right here.
We got a turkey right there.
[bowling pins falling]
Oh boy, oh boy. Yeah!
Yeah!
In first place by TKO.
Rubbles without the claws, spiking duos.
Congratulations, fellas.
Yeah, we win.
- It hurts[?] you.
- We win! We win!
That's our tournament this year, folks.
Thank you for coming out
and have a great afternoon.
We'll see you next year.
[holiday music playing]
You okay?
Yeah.
Still love me?
Always.
Would a soda make you feel better?
I'll be right back.
[footsteps]
Silent night
Holy night
All is calm
All is bright
Round yon Virgin Mother and Child
Holy infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace
[fishing rope rolls]
Yeah, that Spike is
something of a bowler, isn't he?
Yeah. Which is exactly why
he should be banned
from next year's tournament.
[laughter]
Not very Christian of me, huh?
That's all good.
Hey, I spoke to my sister last night.
I guess she got a promotion.
Oh, she's still a cop.
Yeah.
Dallas is lucky to have her.
Good for her. Way to go, Twinkie.
[laughter]
Yeah, I don't know if
she ever appreciate you
calling her Twinkie.
Well, thanks for telling
me 30 years too late.
[chuckles]
She and that lawyer
fellow ever get hitched.
No, she's been waiting
for him to pop the question.
Well, he better not wait too long
because patience is not one
of your sister's strong suits.
Yeah, that's for sure.
Speaking of relationships,
you and Penny doing any better?
[background sound only]
Well, that's a bit of a bait-and-switch.
Well, I'm just worried about you guys.
You don't need to. We're good.
[tongue clicking]
Well, are you sure?
Because Julie said that
Penny's been struggling a little bit.
Struggling with what?
I don't know she didn't say.
[sigh]
You know what, I think
she's just having a hard time
with being an empty nester.
She going to have to do a
better job with occupying herself
while I'm out on the oil fields.
I think you should take
what Penny's going through
a little more seriously.
Well, I had plan to take her
on a cruise if we have won that
bowling tournament but Spike
came along and put an end to that.
Now, the funny thing
is, I don't think Spike's
going to even use those tickets.
He only bowls for the love of the game.
- Really?
- Yeah.
My bowling is a a bit
of a religious experience.
Amen to that.
You know what I ought to do?
I'll ought to call him and
see if I can relieve him
of those tickets.
Yeah, well, you can do that.
But I don't think you need
to take her on a cruise
to show you love her.
I mean, just throw a burger
down her throat and fatten her up,
and tell her that she seems cool, you know.
You might just be the
worst Pastor on this planet.
[chuckles]
I'm just kidding. Take
her to a nice dinner.
Tell her you love her, talk
to her, pay attention to her.
When was the last time
you bought her flowers?
[soft music playing]
Uhm, at her mom's funeral.
Oh, you're an idiot.
[soft music playing]
[car door opening]
[birds chirping]
[car door closing]
[breathing deeply]
Thanks for the great Christmas.
I love you guys.
- We love you too.
- Love you.
So you drive safe.
See you soon, Buttercup.
[kiss]
[instrumental music playing]
Book 'em, Horns.
See you, dad.
[instrumental music playing]
[car door closing]
[instrumental music playing]
From now sixty
I wanted all that I have
[kiss]
Tell me when did it change your way
That's our baby girl.
[instrumental music playing]
Now in the mirror I see
Someone I don't wanna be
I love you, honey.
Sorry, I got to go back to work so soon.
[instrumental music playing]
I'll see you in a week.
[kisses]
Wait a little longer,
we begin stronger side
Phew!
Oh, man. I bet you kissed a
lot of pretty girls in this thing.
Oh, I did. Not... not right
here, but mostly in the bed.
[cellphone ringing]
Hold on a second.
[cellphone ringing]
Hello.
Hey, Spike it's Nic.
Listen. I was just wondering
if you might be interested
in selling those cruise tickets you won.
It's Nic.
Bowling Nic?
He wants us to sell
them to cruise ticket.
Do it.
[laughing]
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That sounds great.
Well, so what's a... what you're offering?
Oh, I don't know. I was thinking,
somewhere in the neighborhood
of a... say a thousand dollars.
[laugh]
It sounded like you said one thousand.
We want ten thousand dollars up front.
American cash in [inaudible].
Well, I'll tell you
what? Why don't you just
go fly a kite.
All right, we'll take the thousand.
Will see you tomorrow.
All right, buddy. Thank you much.
All right.
[tongue clicks]
So, what are you going to do with your 400?
Fifty-fifty.
[laugh]
Spike's Fair.
[soft music playing]
Call Penny.
[soft music playing]
Hey, this is Penny,
please leave me a message.
[voicemail beep]
Hey, sweetie.
Listen, I just called to tell
you I love you and I miss you.
I'm looking forward to
coming back home tomorrow.
Okay, bye for now. Nope.
[soft piano music playing]
[explosion]
[soft piano music playing]
Nope.
[soft piano music playing]
[soft piano music playing]
[sigh]
[keys thudding]
[rustling sound]
[door closing]
[rustling]
You in here?
[door knocking]
[crickets chirping]
Just me.
[crickets chirping]
[paper rustling]
[crickets chirping]
Honey?
[crickets chirping]
[paper rustling]
[door opening]
[crickets chirping]
[door thuds]
[crickets chirping]
[exhales loudly]
[crickets chirping]
[dramatic piano music playing]
[paper rustling]
[sigh]
[crickets chirping]
Dear Nic,
I know it's a shock to find me gone.
My heart hurts to think of this moment
and the confusion you must be feeling.
But I just couldn't bear
to do this face-to-face.
You see, I've been empty for a long time
and with Maddie gone the
emptiness is suffocating.
But please don't blame yourself.
You are a wonderful
person and I do love you.
I'm just not in love with you.
I pray that someday you can forgive me.
Goodbye, Nic.
[soft dramatic music playing]
[soft dramatic music playing]
It just doesn't make any sense.
Why would she throw away everything
without even fighting for it?
I don't know, maybe Penny thought
she didn't have any other options.
I mean, God knows she has enough
love and support from
the people around here.
And that's what I can't understand.
I mean, I thought we had a great marriage.
Get this, her letter to
me said that she loved me
but that she's just not in love with me.
Now what kind of crap is that?
[silence]
The kind that hurts pal.
Listen, I just want you to know.
I'm always going to be here for you.
I'm talking about a 30-year marriage.
And now all communication between us
has to go through her
fancy Nashville lawyer.
[snoring]
What a joke.
[sigh]
So much for the till
death do us part thing.
[wind blowing]
[grunts]
What? No, yes. Listen, you'll be fine.
Penny was... is kind of a floozy. You know?
Do I need to remind you that you were
talking about the mother of my child?
[silence]
No, she's good. No,
you're right. She's fine.
You're going to be fine.
[soft dramatic music playing]
[wind blowing]
[footsteps]
They retired you yet old man?
[scoff]
Who you calling old? You've
been here longer than I have.
[chuckles]
How was your honeymoon?
Oh man, tiring.
[chuckles]
Well, that's what happens when you marry
someone 20 years younger.
Tell me about it. Love her to
death I'm really feeling my age.
I hear you.
[inhales deeply]
You know, I'm thinking about
getting back into the dating scene myself.
So how did you meet your wife?
Little dating app called Lasso[?].
A lot of weirdos on there though.
Yeah, I appreciate the heads-up.
I might just have to do that.
Well, happy hunting.
[rustling]
Thanks. I could use
some happy right about now.
[somber music playing]
[water flowing]
[fishing rod reeling]
Whoa! Whoa, whoa.
- You got one.
- Whoa! I got a big one. Get the net.
Yeah. Yeah, don't break the line.
[water splashing]
[grunts]
Whoa. It's going to be a big one.
Yeah.
[groaning]
This could be the one I
tell my grandkids about.
[fishing rod reeling]
[laughter]
[water pop]
[soft piano music playing]
Or not.
Man, that had to be a 10-pounder.
[soft piano music playing]
[sigh]
I thought we would do so much better today.
My granddaddy always told me
that people eat more and fish
bite better during the holidays.
[soft piano music playing]
Is he the one that used to eat dog food?
[soft piano music playing]
Anyways, speaking of the
holidays, is Maddie going to join us
for the grumpy old Santa fundraiser
And it's kind of a sore subject.
Her mom, decided to that
she would come visit us
with her new whatever he is.
Oh, I see.
[soft piano music playing]
How about those
package, right? Pretty good.
I am completely
disgusted with you right now.
I mean, is it me or is he a complete jerk?
Who? Tim? I loved
him. That guy's awesome.
We're laughing together...
[soft piano music playing]
No! He's a jerk. He's a jerk. No.
[soft piano music playing]
On a happier note, my
sister's moving back into town.
[sigh]
- Oh, Twinkie?
- Twinkie, yeah.
No kidding.
Yeah.
Well, she wanted a change
from the divorce from that creep,
we shall not mention his name and then,
after 20 years of law
enforcement, she's able to retire.
So she's coming back home. Yeah.
Well good for her.
Yeah.
Hey, you two should
enter the fundraiser together.
Well, if she bowls anything
like she did 20 years ago,
Spike won't stand a chance.
You know he won't.
[laughing]
[fishing rod reeling]
Yeah, I think I got a big one.
All right. Your turn.
[fishing rod reeling]
All right, don't lose it.
[car engine running]
[piano music playing]
[car door opening]
[sighing loudly]
Always a pleasure, bud.
That was fun. Thanks.
Hey, guess who's
going on a date tomorrow?
No way.
- Yes, Sir.
- No way.
Now was that so surprising?
Ah, say, you haven't
been on a date in a long time.
No, congratulations. You're
getting back in the saddle.
Yeah, good for me.
Yeah. Who's the lucky gal?
Well, that's the deal. I don't know.
What do you mean you don't know?
I met her on a dating
app called Lasso[?].
Lasso[?]? What is she an animal?
[wind blowing]
What is wrong with you?
A buddy of mine from work
turned me on to the app.
That's how he met his wife.
So, I figured why not give it a shot?
Yeah, all right, I know. Be careful.
Those things can be dangerous.
When exactly did you become my mother?
Well, I'm just saying, you know,
you can get tuna fish
or something, you know.
Some of those gals turn
out be dudes, you know?
[background sound only]
[door opening]
I appreciate your concern.
Trying to help.
[rustling sound]
[car closing]
[car door closing]
See you later?
See you.
[car engine running]
[wind blowing]
[gun thuds]
[footsteps]
[wind blowing]
[door opening]
[rustling]
[tin can clank]
[rustling]
[door slams]
[country music playing]
Appreciate it.
[background conversation]
[country music playing]
[sigh]
[country music playing]
[door opening]
[footsteps]
[country music playing]
[country music playing]
Nope.
[country music playing]
Ohh.
Do you see that girl in the
dress and [inaudible] ass?
Yeah, I saw that.
[chuckling]
Let's go.
[country music playing]
[background conversation]
[laughing]
Woo! All right, two of
usual, please. Thank you
Spike and Deuce is
going to tear it up tonight.
That's right, baby. Oh, oh, oh, oh
Check at this one at the bar.
Oh, yeah. Look at that.
[laughing]
Thank you.
Oh, man.
Nic.
[country music playing]
Just when I was having a good time.
[sigh]
Oh, man. I know you guys
got beef but what's the deal?
All right, here's what happened.
I was in junior high, right, 13 years old.
He asked the love of
my life Missy Lipschitz[?]
to go to the junior prom
before I even had a chance.
What? That's terrible.
I know. It's a bad last name.
Anyway, that's why I went to the military.
Try to get it all out of my system.
You know what little people up?
- That makes sense.
- Yeah.
So how many did you kill?
None. I never got to shoot a gun.
- What?
- Yeah, I was in the accounting department.
Always good with numbers.
So Missy Lipschitz[?], did
you have to catch up with her?
No, I never got the chance.
That's what chaps my hide.
[country music playing]
[axe thump]
[country music playing]
[axe thudding]
[country music playing]
What's up, buddy?
What the hell you doing here, Nic?
All these years.
You still got an axe to grind.
[country music playing]
[breathes deeply]
Oh, I thought I'd tell
you, Missy Lipschitz died.
[country music playing]
Come on, let's get out of here.
[chair scrapping]
I can't wait until they see's
her at the Christmas party.
[laughing]
[footsteps]
[country music playing]
[cellphone vibrating]
[paper rustling sound]
Hey, Dad, what's up?
Hey, sweetie.
Be truthful, yeah, I'm a little
worried about something.
What's going on? Are you okay?
Oh, yeah, I'm just
over here at Ray's Place
and waiting on my date.
[sigh]
Dad, women are always late.
That may be true but right now,
I've been waiting for over an hour and
try to track her down through
the app and so far no luck.
[moans]
That is odd. What do you
know about this woman?
Not much.
She's brunette, real
pretty, about 40 years old.
Forty?
[laughing]
What's wrong with that?
[scoff]
Dad, what did you put on your profile?
[clicks tongue]
Uhm,
good old stud.
[chuckle]
Oh, my Lord, dad.
Well, what you don't think
that accurately describes me?
Grumpy old Santa's more like it.
Well then why don't you
tell me what I should do?
[guitar music playing]
Okay, well, come on
over and I'll take a look at it.
Give me about 10 more
minutes we'll see if she shows up
and I'll be on over the house.
Okay, bye.
[guitar music playing]
Ray. Why don't you
just put that on my tab if you would.
[guitar music playing]
[exhales loudly]
Sheesh, dad!
What?
Okay, so maybe I'm not Matthew McConaughey
but seriously, is it that bad?
How old is this profile picture?
Like 10 years? Okay, 20 years old.
Seriously, dad.
Well, I'm trying to catch fish here.
I thought you were kidding when you said
you set up your page as a good old stud.
I don't need to kid. I still got it.
You catfish that poor lady.
I don't even know what that is.
Cat-fishing is when you
set up a fake dating profile
and you trick people into
getting money out of them.
Well that's something
about a bottom Peter[?]
would do not your dad.
Well, your date probably showed up and
saw how old you are and
got the heck out of there.
Ouch. What is so terrible about dating
someone younger than
you? Your mom's great at it.
Not nice.
Just be honest on your profile.
Cat-fishing will get you banned.
Certainly wouldn't
want that. Help me dear.
[sigh]
Okay,
Let's start by updating
your profile picture.
[thump]
Without the hat dad.
Okay.
Okay.
All right, Dad, smile.
[camera clicks]
Yeah.
Look.
I would date me.
It's much better. All
right. Put on a pot of coffee.
This is going to take a minute.
Okay, cream and sugar?
Yup.
[footsteps]
[gurgling sound]
There. Consider yourself upgraded.
Mmm. Thank you buttercup.
What would I do without you?
I shudder to think.
Hey, are you still going to
Uncle Kris's for Thanksgiving?
That's the plan, so on
your own for Christmas.
Oh, so you're going to spend it
with Mom and her new boy toy?
Dad. They're married
and Tim makes her happy.
He's good for her.
Now, we'll see how long that lasts.
You're so angry.
[somber music playing]
I wish you could just
find a way to forgive her.
And then maybe, we could
spend Christmas together again,
You know, you act,
like it's all my fault.
You do remember that
she's the one that left me?
[sigh]
[somber music playing]
I know that Mom hurt
you, but she's still my mom.
And I hate that you guys
put me in the middle of this.
You're right.
[somber music playing]
I'm sorry.
[somber music playing]
I just wish that things had
stayed the way they were.
[somber music playing]
I do too. But they didn't,
and it's time to accept that.
[somber music playing]
Yup.
[somber music playing]
[thudding sound]
[breathes deeply]
You know, you didn't need to
leave the room to make your point.
[somber music playing]
I need peace and I'm
sorry if I hurt your feelings.
[clicks tongue]
Honey.
I'm not that thin-skinned.
Besides, you were right.
[chuckles]
[somber music playing]
I just want to help.
I know.
[plate clanking]
[somber music playing]
[kisses]
[somber music playing]
[thud]
[groaning]
Nice shot.
[thud]
[breathing heavily]
[car engine running]
[thud]
[inaudible]
[upbeat music playing]
[car engine revving]
[upbeat music playing]
[car engine revving]
[upbeat music playing]
Holy Moly!
[upbeat music playing]
[car door closing]
Hey Sis.
- Hey, bro.
- How are you?
So good.
Twinkie, it's been a long time.
I'm going to stuff you like a
twinkie if you keep calling me that.
I told you.
[chuckles]
How's your trip?
It was great. Nothing
like sun, sand, and a
little Margaritas to put
some perspective in your life.
[laughter]
You drive that thing all
the way down to Mexico?
Yeah, even did a little beach camping.
Nice.
But, all right, come on
in we'll get some turkey.
Excellent. I'm ready fort this.
[utensils clinking]
Are you going to keep staring
or do you want a picture?
I'm sorry. I just thought you'd
be saving room for dessert is all.
I always have room for dessert, Nikki.
[moans]
[silence]
Let's pray.
[clicks tongue]
Dear Lord, thank you for this
wonderful Thanksgiving dinner
with all the great food we have,
with our friends and
families and loved ones.
Bless us, O Lord and these these thy gifts,
which we are about to
receive through thy bounty
through Christ our Lord, amen.
Amen.
Amen.
[moaning]
[utensils clinking]
Hey, Nic!
[munching sound]
How was the dating app?
Well, if we're keeping a score.
I am zero for two right now
because the first one
completely stood me up.
And the second one we
just didn't have anything
in common so, it got awkward.
How so?
[clicks tongue]
Well, she kept bragging
to me about her grandkids,
about how they had these
halos all around their heads.
I'm pretty sure she was nuts.
[laughter]
Well, you can't fix crazy right?
But you can break them up.
[utensils clinking]
[glass thud]
What app you're using?
You know, it's a thing called Lasso.
Never heard of it.
Yeah, a buddy of mine
from work turned me on to it.
Maybe I'll try it out.
[utensils clinking]
[moans]
This is delicious.
Oh, yeah. I'm already thinking
about loosening in my belt.
[scoff]
I already did.
[laughing]
How do you like teaching kindergarten?
Oh! I love it. It can
be a little challenging
but when you see the
way that the kids progress
there's nothing like it.
Better you than me, darling.
I'm never was really good with kids.
Well, Sandy, tell us
about your trip to Mexico.
Did you get any trouble down there?
Oh no. I didn't mess with
anyone and nobody mess with me.
Might be because you used to be a cop.
[laughing]
And it was one heck of a great time.
So,
Kris mentioned to me that
you might be interested in
partnering up with me
for the grumpy old Santa
fundraiser this year.
What about Maddie?
My mom is coming into town. So,
[clicks tongue]
I probably won't this year.
Well then, I would
just love to play with you.
[soft music playing]
Sandy. Could I have some stuffing?
[soft music playing]
Yeah.
[soft music playing]
Thank you.
[soft music playing]
[thump]
Wo-ho!
Turned out the lights
because the party's over.
I don't believe I've heard
the fat lady sing just yet.
[rustling]
[thump]
- Yo.
- Whoa!
It's time for [inaudible]
dessert, you all. Come on.
Let's go cowboy.
[instrumental music playing]
[thump]
[instrumental music playing]
What?
[instrumental music playing]
[snores]
[instrumental music playing]
So, any special man in your life yet?
[chuckles]
I went on a few dates
but nothing's clicked
and schools, really busy right now.
You're young and
beautiful and it will happen
when it's meant to.
Thanks, Aunt, Julie.
I wasn't expecting
to meet Kris when I did,
and at the East Texas fair of all places.
[laughing]
Didn't he try to take
you on the ring of fire?
Try to, he did.
I guess he was trying to
impress me but it backfired
and he got so sick.
[laughing]
Already I love that man.
[snoring sound]
I will never get tired
of hearing that story.
[laughs]
Is their guitar, guitar, guitar,
guitar, guitar guitar. Yeah.
[TV playing on the background]
Touch down cowboys!
What? Who scored?
Just kidding. It's halftime.
[TV playing on the background]
[upbeat music playing]
That is not funny.
Well, it's kind of funny.
[thump]
[upbeat music playing]
Terry. Terry form your
shot. Terry form your shot.
[snores]
Oh, what is it?
[TV playing on the background]
What did I miss? Julie? Nic? Sandie?
[TV playing on the background]
[groans]
I miss it.
[TV remote clicking]
Is there any turkey left?
[chair creaks]
[footsteps]
Is there any turkey?
[utensil clanking]
Who ate all the turkey? Hot. Damn.
[utensil clanking]
[wind blowing]
[cellphone clicking]
[horse neighing]
Oh, hot.
Damn!
[upbeat instrumental music playing]
[cellphone clicking]
[upbeat instrumental music playing]
[cellphone clicking]
[whoosh sound]
[upbeat instrumental music playing]
[cellphone clicking]
[upbeat instrumental music playing]
[exhales deeply]
Big old stud is back in business.
[upbeat instrumental music playing]
[chuckles]
[upbeat instrumental music playing]
[wind blowing]
So I would have guessed you to
be much more of a Tex-Mex gal.
Oh, I am. But I think that
Italian is far more romantic.
[romantic music playing]
You okay.
[romantic music playing]
Yeah, I just haven't had
anybody other than Penny
use the word romantic with
me, since I was in my mid-20s.
I'm sorry if I spoke too soon.
No, it's nice.
Seems pretty clear
that we like each other.
Hmn-mm.
And when I like
something, I speak my mind.
And I admire that.
Yeah, we're not kids anymore, Nic.
Hmm. No. No, we're not.
[exhales deeply]
So could I ask you a personal question?
Ask away.
[breathes deeply]
What exactly ended your relationship?
[background music playing]
How much time you have?
[chuckling]
That's funny.
Well when we first met,
I fell head over heels in love with him.
But I think, that I was just
too young to really know what love is.
And we're both workaholics.
I'm just got so involved
in our own lives that
one day we just quit talking
and grew part from there.
[dramatic music playing]
Yeah, I can relate.
So, does it scare you
a little bit, the idea of
getting involved with somebody new?
[dramatic music playing]
Life is a gamble, Nic. I
don't want to live mine in fear.
[inhales sharply]
Should we order some more wine?
Thank you, but I think I'm good.
I wouldn't want you to
have to carry me out of here
Bartender, we got a lightweight here.
Okay, maybe strong.
[laughing]
It's just that,
after all these years I finally figured out
that it's the third glass that
does to tend to loose me up
just a little bit too much.
Wow, that is good to know.
Bring us some more wine.
Yes, ma'am.
[soft piano music playing]
[rustling sound]
[exhales]
I had a great time tonight.
[crickets chirping]
You know,
I have always had a big old crush on you.
[crickets chirping]
And what about your brother?
[chuckling]
You can't have him. He's married.
[laughing]
No. I mean,
[sigh]
Kris is my best friend and I just
wouldn't want to do
anything to jeopardize that.
[crickets chirping]
Life's too short to worry
about the little things.
My brother probably would
be more worried about you
than he is about me anyway.
Because he knows I can take care of myself.
[scoff]
Well, that is certainly true.
[laughing]
[soft music playing]
Look, I'll pump the brakes a little bit.
[soft music playing]
Let you catch your breath.
[First Thing On My Christmas
List instrumental playing]
Thank you.
Christmas time is here
Lets get out the decorations
It's my favorite time of the year
Let's go pick out our tree
Then we'll stuff the stockings
and hang up the mistletoe
The nights are getting colder
I'll put another log on the fire
How about some hot apple cider
That sounds real good to me
We're singing along to
Christmas songs on the radio
Candy canes and chocolate kisses
Yuletide cheer and Christmas wishes
First thing on my Christmas list is you
First thing on my Christmas list is you
Oh, look at that.
[First Thing On My Christmas
List instrumental playing]
I can't wait for you to open your gift
(You're the only present I need)
I can't remember the last
time was, I had this much fun.
And the night is still young.
Yes, it is.
Santa you've (I've)
been extra nice this year
I really like you.
The feeling's, mutual.
But what if I go too fast?
Maybe you need a safe word.
Yeah, here's my safe word.
[soft music playing]
Too fast?
[soft music playing]
I don't know. You may
need to do that again.
[soft music playing]
[Christmas is Coming instrumental playing]
Whoa! I feel like a man.
[billiard ball rolling]
Good one.
[chuckles]
Nice.
[Christmas is Coming instrumental playing]
Christmas is coming, the
snowflakes will be falling
It's the most wonderful time of year.
[Christmas is Coming instrumental playing]
So hang up, your stockings,
put the tinsel on the tree
because Christmas is coming, my dear
[Christmas is Coming instrumental playing]
[cellphone clicking]
[yawning]
Oh, I'm tired. Coffee, morning.
[rustling sound]
[coffee pouring]
Good morning. Good morning.
[clanking sound]
[cellphone clicking]
Stud muffin.
[Christmas is Coming instrumental playing]
Stud muffin.
[Christmas is Coming instrumental playing]
Your stud muffin.
[Christmas is Coming instrumental playing]
[silence]
Hey Lord. It's me again.
[silence]
I need some help. My sister
and her new stud muffin.
[silence]
She got hurt pretty bad last time,
I can't see her go through that again.
[birds chirping]
Yeah. Oh yeah. First Peter 5:7.
[birds chirping]
"Cast all your troubles on me."
Yeah.
[fishing rod reeling]
Because I'm casting, right?
That's pretty funny, Lord.
Also, see if you can help my friend, Nic.
He's very lonely.
He needs someone to
[birds chirping]
Maybe a fish for me today.
[birds chirping]
Yep. They're always my
favorite fishing buddy, Lord.
[birds chirping]
[burger sizzling]
Make mine medium, stud muffin.
Yeah, I got mine rare.
Oh, rare. How rare?
Yeah. I'm talking about so rare
that a good vet could save it.
[laughing]
Well you got me a veggie burger, right?
I did. It's a veggie
burger made out of meat.
[laughing]
[crinkling sound]
[sizzling sound]
Oh, I like that.
[laughing]
Here.
- How about that?
- Hmn, even better.
[sizzling sound]
[laugh]
[sizzling sound]
Okay.
[sizzling sound]
What's up?
That's better sweet taste than you are.
[laughing]
[cellphone clicking]
[swoosh]
[cellphone clicking]
[swoosh]
[cellphone clicking]
[message ding]
[cellphone clicking]
[message ding]
[cellphone clicking]
[swoosh]
[instrumental music playing]
[message ding]
[instrumental music playing]
[cellphone clicking]
[message ding]
[instrumental music playing]
[cellphone clicking]
[message ding]
[instrumental music playing]
[message ding]
[cellphone clicking]
[message ding]
[instrumental music playing]
[car engine running]
[DJ over the radio]
Wow, I love this song.
[Up On The Housetop
instrumental music playing]
Up on the housetop, reindeer pause
Out jumps good ol' Santa Claus
Okay, okay, I can't even hear myself sing
with that thing blasting.
Honey, you're singing doesn't help.
Where is your holiday spirit?
[wind blowing]
Give her a dolly that laughs and
[humming]
[wind blowing]
[sigh]
Stop.
[wind blowing]
[sighing loudly]
[wind blowing]
Fine, Grinch.
[wind blowing]
[humming]
[wind blowing]
[humming]
[thump]
[car engine running]
[silence]
[glass thud]
[car honking]
[car engine running]
[magazine rustling]
[footsteps]
Shoot.
[door rattling]
[door opening]
Hey, hey, hey.
[laughing]
Oh, sorry. How you doing? Bring it in here.
It's so good to see you.
Okay, my turn. Oh, it is
so good to see you, honey.
[giggling]
Hey, Mom.
[moaning]
Are you guys moving in or what?
Oh, that's probably my fault
and I probably brought the wrong things.
It's so warm outside.
The weather changes
every five minutes. It's Texas.
Hey, I'll take it and
thanks for inviting us.
That's all your mom could talk about
for the past several months.
Tim.
Oh.
Well, follow me. I'll show
you where to put all that.
[cellphone dings]
[silence]
[message beep]
[cellphone clicking]
[message beep]
[silence]
[cellphone clicking]
[message beep]
Do we have dinner plans?
Yeah, I was thinking, take out.
[cellphone clicking]
Oh, so that's a no.
[cellphone clicking]
[message beep]
[silence]
[message beep]
[silence]
[cellphone clicking]
[silence]
[cellphone clicking]
[message beep]
[cellphone clicking]
Okay, Julie's house.
Chicken and dumplings tonight.
[birds chirping]
So how's teaching going?
It's tiring but I'm still at it.
[background sound only]
The kids love you.
[background sound only]
So, is there new going
on in your personal life?
No I'm enjoying being single.
I kind of like doing my own thing.
Wow, right! That's a great pickup.
I'm sorry, sorry. Fantasy football.
[sigh]
How was Thanksgiving with your dad?
It was great. We went to
Uncle Kris and Aunt Julie's,
and had a wonderful
time. And Sandie was there.
I think she might be
moving back to East Texas.
Sandie.
[scoff]
Haven't seen her in years.
You know, when she was young she used
to have this crazy crush on your dad.
[silence]
Are they?
Mom?
[piano music playing]
That was delicious. Hands down the best
chicken and dumplings I've ever had.
Thanks Tim.
So this is your grandma's recipe?
Sure was. I just added
a little extra cilantro.
She would've been very proud.
[clicks tongue]
So Tim, when we first met you,
you said you did Goat Yoga.
How do you teach a Goat Yoga?
[laughing]
No, no. We don't teach them
yoga. They're too stupid for that.
[laughing]
Be nice.
Right, right, right.
Actually, what happens
is the goats walk on your
back as you're doing
yoga poses. So relaxing.
Right.
Unless it has a bowel movement.
Oh, we wouldn't want that, right?
[laughing]
Honey, honey. He was
just trying to get your goat.
[laughing]
Good one.
[laughing]
Hey, Maddie. We're
going to miss you at the
grumpy old Santa bowling
tournament this year.
Did you say bowling?
Wait, you're not
teaming up with your dad?
Not this year?
What is he doing?
He ask my sister to join him.
[silence]
Oh.
[whimsical sound]
That's interesting.
I want to be in the tournament.
That is a great idea.
You have room for one more team, right?
Ah, well. I don't know.
Let me check that.
[rustling]
Excuse me.
[footsteps]
I shouldn't have said that.
[footsteps]
What did we do?
I don't know.
I mean there's room but
Nic's going to be there.
I know. I'm worried about the same thing.
[inaudible] That's fine. That's fine. C
It's still early. Should
we do something else?
I'm game. What do you all have in mind?
We could go to Carmela's lights.
Bowling.
Oh yeah, that's a great idea.
I've got my ball in the car
plus we could use the practice.
Let's do it. Well, this
[glass clinks]
[message ding]
Oh, bad, bad bad. Bad, bad, bad, bad.
Dear, Lord, please forgive
me for the lie I'm about to tell.
You might want to say, amen.
Amen.
[laptop closes]
[footsteps]
[chair scrapping]
[clears throat]
Yeah. Well, I think I left my
laptop back at the church.
[chuckles]
I'll check the website entries tomorrow and
then see if there's a spot
this open up for you guys.
Okay, thanks. Well, I appreciate it.
Yeah, I love if it's
God's will ever workout.
[laughter]
[background sound only]
[bowling ball thudding]
[background sound only]
How is it going to be such a relief
off our shoulders once we tell Kris.
I just hope he can forgive
me for not telling him earlier.
Don't sweat it, he has to forgive you.
He's a pastor.
[background sound only]
Now, what do you say we enjoy this night
and leave tomorrow for tomorrow?
Deal.
[background sound only]
[exhales loudly]
[background sound only]
You're right.
[background sound only]
[bowling ball thudding]
Oh, that's nice. That's the money.
[bowling pin falling]
Oh, that's the money.
[clapping]
- Beautiful.
- That's the way to start it.
[Christmastime Again
instrumental music playing]
Christmas lights are
hanging from the trees
All around the world it's Christmas eve
[bowling pin falling]
Happy birthday Jesus
Let the celebration begin
[yelps]
Singing First Noel and
Silver Bells and silent Night
Deck the Halls and rum pump um pum
and Rudolph's nose so bright
Joy to the World,
little town of Bethlehem
Is lane six available?
Yes, ma'am it is. Enjoy.
Thanks.
Let's go, babe.
Santa is bringing
all nice girls and boys
[bowling ball falling]
Pow, pow.
Wow, nice shot dad.
A sleigh filled up with
all their favorite toys
Hi. Honey. What you doing here?
Same as you.
Hi, Nic.
Penny.
[clicks tongue]
So is this a date or a practice session?
That's a loaded question.
And this must be?
Tim, Dad.
Put it there, partner.
Oh, don't be fast but I
ain't going to bite, you know.
[laughing]
Nice to meet you, Jim.
It's Tim.
Appreciate you crushing my bowling here.
[laughing]
That's funny. Hey, it's nice to meet you.
I'm going to get back to stretching
You guys aren't done yet, are you?
Oh, I've got a few more rolls in me.
And the truth is,
I need to seriously get in some practice
if this is going to be the
year, I finally beat Spike.
[clears throat]
Now, he looks pretty good if you ask me.
Well, they say the first
thing to go is the eyesight.
Are you calling me old?
Dad?
I was just kidding.
Get him, baby.
[Christmastime Again instrumental playing]
Let's do it.
[Christmastime Again instrumental playing]
[bowling pin falling]
[Christmastime Again instrumental playing]
[bowling pin falling]
[Christmastime Again instrumental playing]
We believe it's Christmas time
We believe it's Christmas time again
[bowling pin falling]
[sighing]]
It's about enough
bowling for me for one night.
I'm going to bowl a few
more before I pack it in.
Okay. I'm headed to the Pro Shop.
They've got a beautiful new
ball. I want to take a look at.
Well, don't be too long, stud muffin.
I didn't need to hear that.
[bowling ball thudding]
What's up, Tommy?
[footsteps]
[door creaking]
[footsteps]
[bowling ball thudding]
[rustling sound]
[door creaking]
Nic, can I have a minute?
[rustling sound]
For what?
[rumbling sound]
I miss you.
You don't mean that?
Yes I do, Nic. I'm so
sorry. I made a big mistake.
You made a big mistake.
Can we just talk about it?
There's nothing to talk about.
We have both moved on with our lives.
You found yourself a good guy
and I finally have someone in
my life that makes me happy.
- Can I get a refill on cocoa?
- Yeah, absolutely.
Thanks.
But didn't I make you happy?
Why do you do this?
[dramatic piano music playing]
We had 30 years of marriage.
Thirty years, that you ended.
I think still love you.
Do you still love me?
[dramatic piano music playing]
There will always be a
part of me that loves you.
Yes.
Then could we give this another try?
We're done.
[dramatic piano music playing]
Please, Nic.
[dramatic piano music playing]
Here's that hot cocoa?
[dramatic piano music playing]
Please.
[gasp]
[dramatic piano music playing]
[sigh]
You've already ruined my life once.
You don't get to do it again.
Sandy!
[door creaking]
Sandy, wait.
[sobbing]
Sandy!
[footsteps running]
Sandy, stop.
[sobbing]
That was not what it looked like.
How stupid do you think I am?
She hugged me, not the other way around.
Did you expect me to believe that?
Yes, I do. Because it's the truth.
[dramatic piano music playing]
I love you.
[dramatic piano music playing]
I told myself I wouldn't
let anyone hurt me again.
[dramatic piano music playing]
And that includes you.
[car door opening]
[car door slams]
[car engine starting]
Come on.
[car engine running]
Sandy!
[dramatic piano music playing]
[dramatic piano music playing]
[birds chirping]
[fish rod reeling]
[sigh]
Everything all right, buddy?
[fish rod reeling]
Yeah, yeah. They can get
my heart stomped on again.
I'm just dandy
[fish rod reeling]
Well, then this is going to
make it even harder to tell you.
[fish rod reeling]
Tell me what?
[water pop]
Well, Penny wants Tim and
Maddie to be in the fundraiser.
[water splashing]
And the hits just keep
on coming don't they?
Yeah. Well, I understand
if you want me to say no,
I'll say no.
It's okay. Truth is I don't
give a hoot what penny does
if wasn't for her, I'd still have Sandy.
[thump]
Sandy?
[fishing rod reeling]
My baby sister Sandy?
[fishing rod reeling]
Yeah.
[fishing rod reeling]
Look, I was going to tell you about us but
[fishing rod reeling]
We just got carried away
in keeping it a secret.
[water flowing]
Can you forgive me?
[scoff]
[fishing rod reeling]
Yeah, as your best friend,
I wish you would give me
the courtesy to at least
talking to me about it.
Yeah, I know.
[birds chirping]
I think we're wrapping it up around here.
[background sound only]
[sigh]
Hey, I'm sorry.
[tense music playing]
That was a beautiful sermon
last weekend on forgiveness.
[tense music playing]
[tense music playing]
[tense music playing]
[rustling]
Thanks, buddy.
[car door opening]
[tense music playing]
[car door slams]
[tense music playing]
So you're her stud muffin?
[tense music playing]
Afraid so.
Boy, my sister and my best friend
now I know God has a sense of humor.
Can you forgive me?
Yes.
That's a relief.
Let me ask you a question.
Do you love her?
Well, I mean, at this point
it's not like it even matters.
Well I'd like to think that
my sister's worth fighting for.
[tense music playing]
[car door slams]
[tense music playing]
Hello.
How was it?
Yeah, enlightening. Yeah.
Yeah, Nic and I got to talking and...
Oh, yeah about what?
Well, it seems Penny
scared off his new girlfriend.
I love Penny and all but
sometimes you can't help but
be the center of attention.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, sounds like a messy love triangle.
[clicks tongue]
Yeah. Well, you know,
it took Nic, a long time
to get over her and even
longer for him to get out there.
You know, I mean, when
that man falls he falls hard.
Yeah, I know the feeling.
Yeah. Well, anyway how did your day go?
There's something that I need to confess.
Yeah, I'm all ears.
Nic and I are seeing each other.
Yeah, I know.
- You do?
- Yeah, Nic told me. Yeah.
Well, why don't you say anything?
Well, because you wouldn't take my advice
if you knew that I knew.
[sigh]
Clever, Pastor.
Yeah.
Very clever.
Thank you.
But still doesn't change what
I saw between Penny and Nic.
Yeah, I know but if you live in the past
you're going to miss
the gift to the present.
And plus I think, Nic's
a guy worth fighting for.
Think about it.
[birds chirping]
[pensive music playing]
[pensive music playing]
[footsteps]
[rustling sound]
[car door opening]
[sigh]
[car door closing]
[sighing loudly]
[background sound only]
Well, you could at
least look at me. I'm sorry.
Yeah, you should be.
[background sound only]
Can't let my grumpy old
stud muffin be half-dressed,
[chuckles]
Looks like my little Texas rose is back.
Well, I'm still mad at you.
And as for your ex,
she better hope I don't
bring out my thorns.
No, we wouldn't want that.
No, we wouldn't.
Now, we've got my costume to
pick up and a tournament to win.
Yes, ma'am.
[upbeat music playing]
Let's go.
[bowling pin falling]
[upbeat music playing]
All right, Team Nice made it.
- Yeah!
- This is our year.
[background conversation]
Where is Team Naughty?
[inaudible] with north pole.
Ha, ha, ha. They didn't make it.
[laughing]
Aunt Julie, I guess you
picked the short straw this year.
This is what you get
when you put the decision
on who wears this up for auction.
Cost me a pretty penny. Hey, Penny.
How are you? Hey, Jim.
It's Tim, at least I hope it
is. I'm wearing his underwear.
[laughing]
[thumping]
You're fantastic. All
right. Hi, how are you?
Hi!
[exhaling loudly]
Glad you could make it, honey.
Oh, me too, Dad.
[footsteps]
Penny.
It's good to see you, Nic,
Likewise.
Sandy.
Penny.
[scoff]
Don't arrest me, Santa. I
promise to be a good girl.
[bowling ball rumbling sound]
What's up Magic Mike?
Dad!
Does anyone in this family
have a sense of humor?
It's okay. He was only teasing me and
it's a pretty good one too.
[laughing]
You ready to get your
butt kicked by your old man?
Yeah, right. We've been practicing.
That we have.
[chuckles]
Then may the best team win.
Whoo-hoo. Let's go.
[footsteps]
[whimsical music playing]
[grunts]
Be the ball.
[whimsical music playing]
Let's roll.
[whimsical music playing]
You handled it like a champ.
Honestly, I was thinking of
punching her porch lights out.
I'm glad you didn't.
Makes for an awkward Christmas.
Hmn.
[whimsical music playing]
She keeps staring at us.
Well then, what do you say?
We give her something to stare at.
[whimsical music playing]
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
I am.
[giggling]
Hey, you two let's keep it rated G.
[giggling]
[whimsical music playing]
[whimsical music playing]
Your dad seems happy.
He deserves some happiness.
Hey, I think Nic's a great guy.
Too bad we're going to beat
him on his home turf though.
[soft music playing]
I'm glad he was able to move on.
[soft music playing]
[soft music playing]
[bowling pin falling]
[grunting]
This thing up? 2,4,
6, 8 this thing up? Hello.
Hey, folks welcome. Welcome, welcome.
To the 2023 Grumpy Old
Santa bowling shootout.
We're excited you're
here. And you know what?
With your ad[?] donations and your fees,
we've raised over 35,000 dollars this year.
So we're pretty proud of that.
And it's all for the angel tree
program as you know, you know.
We're giving Christmas
gifts to families in need
with children under the age of 14.
So, it's an excellent,
excellent thing you're here for.
Before we get the ball rolling here.
[laugh]
Ball rolling. You get that? I
want to ask you a question.
What are the bowling pin
say when they heard a joke?
[pause]
He fell down laughing.
[laughing]
He fell down. He fell down laughing.
All right. Okay. So
anyway, without further ado,
we're going to tell you about
the prizes we have this year.
They're pretty good. We've
got a 14-day all-expense-paid
vacation to Italy. That's first
prize, how about that, huh?
Not only that, but you get
your picture up there on a
grumpy old Santa Wall of Fame over there,
so that's pretty good.
Second place is seven night
Caribbean cruise right out of
Galveston. Pretty excellent, huh?
Third prize is you're fired. You're fired.
No, just kidding. Though[?] you get to wear
a turkey suit next year at the tournament.
So don't get third place.
Okay. The last rule is
have fun. Have fun. Okay.
[silence]
You heard was second place is right?
You like cruising.
Whatever. Bring it on.
14 day trip to Italy would
make a great honeymoon.
[background sound only]
We're going to get going
about five more minutes here.
So get your last practice rolled in
and thank you for coming. All right.
Terry, no more. Put the beer down.
No, no, you don't get two. No, no.
Sally cut him off.
[bowling pin falling]
It's December 2nd,
the snow begins to fall
Babe I'm getting ready,
we're gonna have a ball
So babe let's hang out stockings
And put the presents beneath the tree
Turkey! Turkey!
Oh, we got a turkey.
Year again, Christmas is here
[bowling pin falling]
We got another turkey
over there, [inaudible]
It's time for celebration
[bowling pin falling]
Come on. Here you go.
[bowling pin falling]
Whoa. I'm going to say something. Hey.
Hey, folks. Yeah, I usually
don't do this until halftime.
Well, it looks like something
incredible is happening.
Mr. and Mrs. Claus of Team Checking My List
is two strikes away from a TKO.
[cheering]
Christmas is here
[bowling pin falling]
Baby let's raise
[cheering]
Okay, we're about one strike away
from a TKO Tournament tie breaker.
[footsteps]
[suspense music playing]
[bowling ball rolling]
[suspense music playing]
[suspense music playing]
[bowling pin falling]
[crowd cheering]
Turkey! Turkey!
[bowling pin falling]
[Christmas is Here
instrumental music playing]
It's December 2nd
Oh, yeah, Oh, yes.
The snow begins to fall
[laughing]
Yeah!
Babe I'm getting ready
[cheering]
[clucking sound]
[bowling pin falling]
Woo! [Inaudible[ like a turkey.
[bowling pin falling]
Woo-hoo!
Yes!
[inaudible] back in my
wife back on my jean, right?
Christmas is here
[bowling pin falling]
Ha-ha!
[Christmas is Here instrumental playing]
It's time for celebration
Turkey, turkey, turkey.
[Christmas is Here instrumental playing]
The holidays have come
Yeah, we got another turkey. Turkey.
Oh, look out a turkey. All right.
[bowling pin falling]
[cheering]
Yeah, baby. Come on win a turkey. Turkey.
[clapping]
[inaudible] team Rubles
without a Claws is tie with Snickerdoodles with seven turkeys each.
Christmas is here
[bowling pin falling]
[crowd cheering]
Baby let's raise our glasses
[clapping]
- Whoa!
- Let's do it!
Because Christmas time is here
It's time for singing and dancing
[crowd cheering]
let's spread a little Christmas cheer
[Christmas is Here instrumental playing]
[bowling pin falling]
[Christmas is Here instrumental playing]
Come on, baby that's it, That's it.
[bowling pin falling]
[sigh]
[Christmas is Here instrumental playing]
[crowd murmuring]
[bowling pin falling]
[Christmas is Here instrumental playing]
[bowling pin falling]
Hey, luck babe.
[Christmas is Here instrumental playing]
[bowling pin falling]
Hey, folks we're five
minutes left, looks like
Tim and Maddie will be at the second place.
Can you hear us now?
[bowling pin falling]
[shouting happily]
We can be [inaudible] on that.
Okay. Times up. Times up.
All the way, times up.
[silence]
[exhales loudly]
[silence]
Hey, Terry go home.
Yeah. You're drunk again.
[background sound only]
So much for a trip to
the Caribbean. Baby. Sorry.
There's always next year.
All right, that's our tournament folks.
Thank you very much for coming out
and supporting this great cause.
Thank you very much for coming
here, it as a great tournament.
[clears throat]
I'll just leave you this last thing.
[pause]
What are did the bowler say
when he got caught stealing?
[silence]
I was framed.
[laughing]
That's right.
Wrote that myself. Okay,
first place. Mr. and Mrs. Claus,
[crowd clapping]
Congratulations. Oh, yeah, congratulations.
Thank you, Sir.
Congrats. You get a hat.
Yeah. Good job.
All right, second place
goes to Tim and Maddie.
[crowd clapping]
Congratulations, congratulations.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
I'm going to the Caribbean.
And third place goes to
in Rebels without a Clause.
You guys get to wear
the turkey suit next year.
[gobbling sound]
We're going to make another one for you.
All right, good deal. Good
deal. Oh, wait one more thing.
Don't forget about our
Christmas Eve candlelight service
at Hallsville First Methodist
Church, you know, at 7:00 o'clock.
See you at Christmas Eve? All right.
[silence]
Before we light the candles,
I'd like to give you a little
history of why this is such
a cherished tradition for me.
Ever since I was young I can remember,
having the privilege of
attending a candlelight service
on Christmas eve.
[pause]
And it's not just their tradition
it's much more than that
these candles symbolize Christ
coming into the world of darkness.
A light that gave us joy,
peace, kindness, love
by teaching us forgiveness.
He forgave us and so taught us,
how much better the world could be when we
stopped keeping score
and learned how to forgive?
So, as we light these candles
and sing of this most precious night.
Let us remember to practice forgiveness,
and bring that light to the world.
[silence]
Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon Virgin Mother and Child
Holy infant
I'm sorry.
It's okay.
Merry Christmas.
[Silent Night instrumental music playing]
Merry Christmas.
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace
[solemn music playing]
Well, wasn't that delicious?
It was very good.
How about something sweet?
Well, that sounds nice.
A special dessert for you, Ma'am.
Compliments of the chef. How on Earth did
[soft music playing]
How on earth did they know?
Gee, I can't imagine.
[chuckles]
[soft music playing]
Well they really dressed it up.
Enjoy.
[chuckles]
Now I'm only eating this so the chef
doesn't get his feelings hurt.
Oh, of course.
[laughing]
[soft music playing]
[moans]
[laughs]
[soft music playing]
[panting]
Maam, are you choking?
[gasping]
Somebody help. She's choking.
[chair scrapping]
[choking sound]
Everybody back. I got this.
[choking]
[ring clinks]
[breathing heavily]
Oh.
[breathing heavily]
Are you okay?
[breathing heavily]
Well, since I am already on my knees.
Will you marry me?
[laugh]
Yes, yes. I love you.
I love you. I'd put
the ring on your finger
but it's real sticky.
[laughing]
Sir, you just saved my fianc's life
and I don't even know your name,
It's Terry, from the bowling alley.
Hi, Terry, is there anything
I can do to repay you?
Buy me drink? So nice of
[piano music playing]
[birds chirping]
It's so nice of Tim and
Maddie to give us these
cruise tickets for our honeymoon.
[birds chirping]
[piano music playing]
[birds chirping]
Thanks, bud.
[birds chirping]
[clears throat]
At least it matches.
Uh-hmm.
[ship horn honks]
Kind of like it.
[purrs]
[Up on the housetop instrumental playing]
Up on the housetop, reindeer pause
out jumps good ol' Santa Claus.
Down through the
chimney with lots of toys
all for the little
ones, girls and boys.
Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn't go?
Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn't go?
Up on the housetop, click, click, click
Down through the
chimney with good Saint Nick
[Up on the housetop instrumental playing]
First comes the stocking of little Nell
Oh, dear Santa, fill it well
Give her a dolly that laughs and cries
one that will open and shut it's eyes
Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn't go?
Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn't go?
Up on the housetop, click, click, click
Down through the
chimney with good Saint Nick
[Up on the housetop instrumental playing]
[Up on the housetop instrumental playing]
Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn't go?
Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn't go?
Up on the housetop, click, click, click
Down through the
chimney with good Saint Nick
[Up on the housetop instrumental playing]
Next comes the stocking of little Will
Oh, just see what a glorious fill
Here is a hammer and lots of tacks
Also a ball and a whip that cracks
Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn't go?
Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn't go?
Up on the housetop, click, click, click
Down through the
chimney with good Saint Nick
Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn't go?
Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn't go?
Up on the housetop, click, click, click
Down through the
chimney with good Saint Nick
Down through the
chimney with good Saint Nick
Down through the
chimney with good Saint Nick
Good Saint Nick
Christmas time is here
Lets get out the decorations
It's my favorite time of the year
Let's go pick out our tree
Then we'll stuff the stockings
and hang up the mistletoe
The nights are getting colder
I'll put another log on the fire
How about some hot apple cider
That sounds real good to me
We're singing along to
Christmas songs on the radio
Candy canes and chocolate kisses
Yuletide cheer and Christmas wishes
First thing on my Christmas list is you
[END]