Hands Across the Table (1935) Movie Script
All right.
Don't crowd.
Let 'em off.
Let 'em off.
Don't crowd.
Do you think
they'll be wearing 'em
like this next year?
Aw, that was such
a cute little hat.
And I know it made me
look 10 years younger.
Yeah.
Call for Mr. Schlepermeyer.
Call for Mr. Schlepermeyer.
Call for Mr. Schlepermeyer.
Well, another day
just like the rest of them.
Why, Regi,
this is a lucky day.
Did you find a horseshoe
in the subway?
Oh, how are you going to get
a horse in the subway?
Oh!
Now listen, really.
It's a lucky day because
my numerology book says so.
All the auguries are good,
and it's the fifth day
and the fifth month.
And five and five are eight-
I- I mean 10.
Sure, and it's three minutes
till 9:00. I can play too.
Oh, now listen.
It's really like this.
You put it all together
and it spells-
Yeah, put it all together
and it's still three minutes of 9:00.
Oh, will you just let me
explain to you?
Hey!
It's wonderful
the way you two
get under the wire.
Well, one of you hurry up.
1502's been phoning
for a manicure since 8:30.
1502! Up where the rich live.
Who is it?
A Mr. Macklyn.
Married?
That makes two things
I forgot to ask him-
what he had for breakfast
and whether he's married or not.
No, when they're married,
they usually come down
to the shop to get away.
I guess he's single, all right.
You mean you hope
he's single, all right.
What's the matter?
Can't you find
your thumb?
Oh, go on up. 1502 is really
an awful lucky number for you.
Five and one is six,
and six and two are eight.
Yeah, maybe here's
that $10 million you've
been dreamin' about.
The way I feel today,
I'd settle for a million.
Yeah, well, hurry.
You sent for a manicurist?
Mr. Macklyn did.
Come in.
This way, please.
Mr. Macklyn,
the new manicurist is here.
What? Well, tell her
I don't want a manicurist.
Well, how about a manicure then?
Now that you mention it,
it's the very thing I need.
I haven't had one since yesterday.
Do you have one every day?
Some people play golf
to pass the time,
some go in for tap dancing,
some destroy clay pigeons.
I have manicures.
On the behalf of
the manicurists' union,
I thank you.
It's I who should
thank the union.
The manicure
takes 40 minutes.
That leaves the day
only 23 hours
and 20 minutes long.
Oh, Peter, will you
see what Miss, uh-
Allen.
Regi Allen.
Exactly.
What Miss Regi Allen
requires.
Would you fill this
with warm water, please?
Yes, miss.
Thank you.
Just a minute, Peter.
Would you care for a drink?
Oh, no.
The day's just started.
What a fresh point of view.
To me, the night's just ended.
Very well, then, Peter.
Just one for me.
Yes, sir.
This is a very pretty room.
It's very becoming to you.
Thank you.
Oh, isn't he attractive!
Is he your brother?
No, that's a picture of me
taken four years ago.
Oh, are you a flier?
I was a flier.
Airplanes weren't as safe
then as they are now.
Is there
anything else, miss?
No, thank you.
I'm afraid I seemed
rather disagreeable
when Peter announced you.
Oh, that's all right.
The manicurist I've been having
just got married,
and I'm still rather embarrassed
about meeting people.
Why?
I'm always afraid
they'll feel sorry for me.
What?
When you have all this?
Hmm. You just try getting up
every morning at 7:00.
Then jammed in the subway.
Then poking at peoples' cuticle all day.
And then jammed back
in the subway again at night.
I don't feel sorry for you, mister.
Thanks.
I think we'll get along.
I've talked enough now.
I'd better go.
You'll come back
day after tomorrow?
I just spent two bucks
on a memory course.
Bye.
Good-bye.
Thank you, miss.
It's a long time since
I heard Mr. Macklyn laugh.
He's got a few laughs
coming to him.
I think so too.
Oh, I haven't
any change for that.
You're not supposed to have.
That's a 10-dollar bill.
I think Mr. Macklyn
can afford it.
Thanks.
Peter!
Coming, sir.
Peter, this dressing gown's a disgrace.
I can't be entertaining
a young lady in this outfit.
Yes, sir.
You look divine.
Allen Macklyn,
that's the fifth new dressing gown
you've worn in three weeks.
You're getting to be
a regular fashion plate.
They call me Beau Macklyn.
The man at Charvet's
assured Peter this is
the very newest thing.
Do you really like it?
Oh, it's lovely.
Honestly, I can't do
a thing to those nails.
How about
my 40 minutes?
Well, what can I do?
Well, you might try
doing nothing.
Pretend to be
one of the idle rich
and see how you like it.
Peter!
Yes, sir.
Coming, sir.
Tea on the terrace, please,
for two very rich people.
It is ready, sir.
I wonder what the poor people
are doing on a day like this.
Oh!
Gee, you're lucky.
Won't you pour?
Me?
Well, who else?
That'll be all, Peter.
Well, I'll try, but it may throw me.
Ohh!
Try putting the other hand
on the top.
Ooh, you mean like-
There, that's it.
Oh, I get it.
Two hands for beginners.
Why did you say
I was lucky?
You don't have to pretend.
To be rich?
Mm-hmm.
You think a lot about money,
don't you, Regi?
You've got it.
You don't have to think
about it. Sugar?
Two, please, and lemon.
I thought girls your age
always thought about love.
Oh, love.
I don't want anything
to do with it.
That's what you say now, Regi,
and maybe you may even mean it.
Oh, I mean it, all right.
I think you're off
on the wrong tack, Regi.
I wish I could show you
how valueless money is.
You can't.
I know what love can get you into.
I know what it got my mother into.
She was young and pretty once.
I saw her count pennies
and wash and struggle...
until she was old and ugly.
I heard her nagging my father
until he hated to come home.
You couldn't blame him.
You couldn't blame anything but poverty.
I see.
Oh, I didn't mean to
let my back hair down so far.
But that's what you get
for encouraging me.
Oh, I'm terribly sorry!
Oh, don't worry
about that.
It's awful.
I'm so sorry.
The only thing that worries me
is you, your ideas.
But you certainly seem
to know what you want.
I know a lot of things.
You certainly do.
And I'll bet you forget all of them
when the right man comes along.
No, I won't. You can't blame me
for wanting the things I do.
Every woman wants them.
Only I say I do.
Well, if you'll excuse me,
after making a mess of things
I'll go back to the grind.
You've had enough
for one day.
Not nearly.
Gee, I'm sorry
I spilt the tea.
Oh!
Accidents
can happen to anyone.
See?
Thanks. I'm afraid you do it
better than I do.
Good-bye.
Good-bye.
Peter'll see you to the door.
Yes, he always does.
You know, I feel like a chiseler
when I take your money. Funny, isn't it?
I guess it's because you're
the only real friend I've got.
Thanks.
It's been a lot of fun.
Confessions and all?
Confessions and all, Regi.
Bye.
Good-bye.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't know the lights
were against me.
That's all right.
Hopscotch.
Hopscotch?
Mm-hmm.
Indoor hopscotch.
Not up to turf and field hopscotch,
but hopscotch nevertheless.
- Get the idea?
- Yes, I get the idea.
- Do you wanna play?
- No, thanks.
Well, every man
to his own sport.
You'll be sorry
when I'm champion!
Savoy-Cariton Barber Shop.
Manicure? Yes.
Right away. Yes, sir.
What name, please?
Oh, yes, sir!
Regi, I'm gonna give you
your Christmas present in May.
What?
The answer to every working girl's prayer
just called up for a manicure.
So get out your hope chest, dearie.
- Who is he?
- Theodore Drew III, baby.
Three's a bad number-
That doesn't mean anything.
- It means he must have had a grandfather.
- Is he rich?
Not only rich,
but young and handsome.
What do you talk about to a guy like that?
What does he like?
- Blondes, probably.
- Well, you can't talk about that.
Then tell him how you just love polo.
That's always safe.
Thanks.
Oh, sorry, this is reserved
for an appointment.
Aw, but I have an-
Sorry.
Excuse me.
Pardon me.
Are you taken?
Uh, for what?
A manicure.
Oh, no.
Are you interested
in numerology?
No.
If you don't mind.
Excuse me.
Thank you.
What's the matter?
Don't you know
who that is?
Sure. That's the future
hopscotch champion,
and I'm not interested in hopscotch.
You poor sap.
That's Theodore Drew III.
That hick?
Hick? Hmm!
Ohh!
Oh, boy, oh, boy,
do I pick 'em!
I'll say you do,
dearie.
Oh, thank you.
Well, what's
the matter, dear?
This is it. That chance in a million.
He's rich. He's so rich, he's crazy.
I'm gonna make a stab at him.
You back me up.
Well, who are you gonna
stab in the back?
Shh! Nobody.
Well-
Hello!
My, but you've grown thin!
M- My appointment was canceled.
What's the matter?
Uh, are you really
Theodore Drew?
So I've always been told.
Why?
You don't look like my idea
of any Theodore Drew III.
I know.
I've had a lot of complaints
about it from my parents.
Mother says I'm a throwback
to my great-grandfather.
He was a pirate.
- Honest?
- No, a pirate.
Oh.
I was in the navy
myself for a while.
You were?
Mm-hmm.
Till Dad yanked me.
He said the thought of
my being a sailor made him seasick.
Blood.
I've been stabbed.
Oh!
Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
Stabbed in the cuticle.
What a way to die.
It-It's never happened before.
Please excuse it.
I'm- I'm terribly sorry.
Perfectly all right.
Oh!
Oh, I'm- I'm-
I'm terribly sorry.
This isn't your first manicure,
by any chance, is it?
No, it isn't.
Well, look, uh,
if you think I ought to have ether,
don't be afraid to say so.
Honestly, I've only
cut someone once before.
Aha.
Then I'm your second manicure.
No, there have been
quite a few before you.
How did you happen
to become a manicurist...
instead of taking up pearl diving?
Oh, I'm not really
interested in manicuring.
So I gathered.
What does fascinate you?
Polo.
I'm simply mad about polo.
Really?
What position do you play?
Oh, I don't play.
I just follow it.
Where?
Oh, all over.
As a matter of fact, I was reading
an article on polo when you came in.
Oh, really?
What a coincidence.
Isn't it thrilling when they come
galloping down the diamond
on those dear little ponies,
with the mallets flying
and the chukkers?
- Oh, I just love the chukkers.
- I play chess myself.
But you play polo,
don't you?
No. Sorry.
Oh, you don't?
Lady, I don't even like horses.
You don't?
Ohh!
Oh! I'm-
I'm terribly sorry.
That's perfectly all right.
I've still got these left.
That's all.
Thank you.
Are you doing
anything tonight?
Would you mind feeding me?
I'm going to have to have a nurse.
I'll have to leave about 12:00.
I'm going out of town.
That's all right.
I'll see you about 7:00.
No dressing.
No 7:00, dressing-
I mean 7:00, no dressing.
Oh, Mr. Drew!
Yes?
You don't know
where I live.
The subject
hadn't come up.
493 West 120th.
Miss Regi Allen.
See you at 7:00.
Seventy-five cents, plea-
Oh! No charge.
No charge?
No charge?
No, no charge. No.
When the gong strikes,
the time will be exactly 8:00.
Now, on with the dance.
Well, maybe he said 8: 00.
00's a much better number
than 7: 00 anyway.
No, he said 7:00.
I heard him, all right.
Well, 7:00 and 8:00
sound kind of alike.
You'll spoil your dinner
if you keep on
eatin' them nuts.
I guess there isn't
gonna be any dinner.
Oh, now, maybe
he forgot the address,
and he's walking
up and down the block.
Pinky dear, you go stand
in front of the house so he'll know.
Me?
Mm-hmm.
He wouldn't know me.
He might.
You're always forgetting people.
No, he didn't
forget the address.
He forgot the date.
Well, I guess it was
too good to be true.
Regi, I think you're
well out of it.
Those numbers
didn't add up at all good,
and that three
is dangerous for you.
Oh, that's him!
And it's a four!
What'd I tell you?
Well, tell him to wait.
I'll be right down.
Hello. Regi'll be-
I mean, Miss Allen
will be right down.
All right. Thank you.
Oh! Oh, what a grand
speaking voice!
Do I look all right?
Oh, you look swell.
Oh, my bag and gloves!
Pinky, would you mind-
Don't forget to be refined.
You know the kind of girls
he's used to.
Oh, I'll be a lady, all right.
I've been practicing for this for years.
Au revoir.
See you in the society page-
Oh, my!
- Oh! It's the hiccups.
- It's the nuts.
Oh, people in society
don't act that way.
Maybe you haven't got 'em.
Breathe in and out.
You stupe!
How else can you breathe?
Here. Drink this.
I guess they're gone,
all right. Thanks.
You were sweet to stop in.
Good-bye.
Now, don't worry, dear.
We'll lock up.
Listen, don't forget
to be refined.
Will you have a cocktail?
Yes, I'd love
an old-fashioned.
Two old-fashioneds,
please.
Ah! Young lady,
you stand on the threshold...
of the greatest
experience in life.
Until we entered this restaurant
you had only been existing.
Now you're about to live.
I envy you.
What is it?
Onion soup.
Onion soup?
Oh, don't say it like that.
Say it with reverence.
Please give it the respect it's entitled to.
Onion soup.
No, no, no.
More tenderly.
Put a caress in it.
Onion... soup?
Well, that's better.
Waiter, onion soup.
Bi-A big quantity.
Bring me a big vat.
And the young lady?
Cup? Yes, ma'am.
So that's your gratitude.
No, I-
Why,you have
the hiccups.
Yes. I'm sorry.
Well,you're very lucky.
It so happens that you're
sitting with one of the world's
most eminent hiccup specialists.
Are you-
Are you, honestly?
Well, no. No, I am lying.
I am not one of the greatest.
I am the greatest hiccup destroyer
in the history of medical science.
Right this minute,
young lady, you are cured.
Oh, I'm glad-
I'm glad to hear it.
Now do just as I do.
Take your napkin.
Go on.
Put your napkin on.
Take your glass like this.
That's right.
Now drink out of
the other side of it,
just like I do.
Oh-
Come on.
You gotta get up and do it.
Drink out of
the other side.
And drink it all.
Drink it all.
Yeah.
Oh, my.
There you are. Cured.
And you won't have hiccups
again for a year.
I'll have to remember that.
Where did you learn it?
Oh, during the war.
The war?
Why, you couldn't
have been in the war.
Oh, I don't mean the Civil War.
I mean the Spanish-American War.
Oh, I see.
Onion soup. My life begins.
Skoal.
No hiccups for a year.
My, how time flies
when you're having fun.
I read an article on hiccups-
It said they can always be avoided,
and that giving in to them
shows a lack of willpower.
No kidding.
Nobody has to have hiccups.
I'm sorry.
It's the rules.
Patrons cannot enter
in those clothes.
Oh, we can't wear
these clothes?
Yes, sir. I'm sure
you will understand.
Surely I understand.
Surely you understand.
Surely I understand.
Mais non, mais non,
madame, monsieur.
C'est impossible. Non.
Okay, Toots, you win.
Hook this for me,
will you?
Voulez-vous
servir ici,Jean.
Will you have
something?
One more?
No, thank you.
Mind if I have one?
Well, a little bit.
You've had
an awful lot already.
See what my home life is?
Nag, nag, nag!
But your wife
is so pretty.
Pretty?
Hmm, well, I suppose so,
in a- in an Oriental sort of way.
You know,
you'd be very beautiful
with blonde hair.
I have blonde hair.
I know it.
I really had a lovely time.
Thank you, lady.
I've never had
a better time in my life.
From the bottom of my heart,
I thank you.
If- If when you get back,
you'd care to call me up,
I could give you my number.
I mean, I- I could write it down for you
in case you've forgotten it.
Yes, do that.
I would love to call you.
I get back on the 11 th.
I can see you the 12th.
Oh, no, no. I'm-
I'm getting married the 12th.
I could see you
the next day though.
No, I suppose
she'd want a honeymoon.
They all want honeymoons.
Slaves of fashion,
that's what we are.
The whole business
is a vicious-
A vicious-
A vicious-
Here we are. Thank you
for a very lovely evening,
Mr. Drew.
There's no need
of your getting up.
Is he bye-bye?
Well, yes.
Do you want me to help you
take him upstairs?
He doesn't live here.
He has to go out of town
and only has 15 minutes.
That's time enough, lady.
No passenger of mine's
missed a train in 10 years.
What train
does he go on?
Why, I don't know.
Mr. Drew? Ted?
Mr. Drew!
He's moved. That's a good sign.
Keep talking to him.
Mr. Drew!
Mr. Drew!
He's got to get
on that train.
Have you any idea
where he's going?
It might strike a chord.
Do you want to go
to Newport? Newport.
This ain't no season
for Newport, lady.
Try somewheres else.
Palm Beach?
Long Island?
Greenwich?
Rye?
Yes, please,
with ginger ale.
Oh, Ted, where
do you want to go?
Wake up!
All aboard!
Wake up!
Wake up!
I am up!
And so's the whole neighborhood!
If you don't get that drunk out of there,
I'll call for the police!
Oh, don't drop him.
Wake up.
Yoo-hoo!
Come on now.
Ow!
Oh, let me sleep, will ya?
But I got to go
to work.
Look, I can't take you home.
Why don't you take a cab like a good fella?
This is my house, I thought.
Peter!
Coming, sir.
Yes, sir?
She's late, isn't she?
Miss Regi? Oh, no, sir.
It's not 11:30 yet.
You think they're
dirty enough?
That's better, sir.
You don't think
she won't come?
Oh, she'll come, sir.
She said she would.
She's a nice girl,
isn't she, Peter?
She is indeed, sir.
Good morning,
Miss Regi.
Good morning.
You're all right, aren't you?
Does it show as much as that?
How's he today?
Like he always is
on the days you're coming.
Fine.
Hello.
Good morning, Regi.
What's the news?
Oh, nothing much.
Oh,yes.
Up till now,
they've never been able to tell
a male from a female oyster.
Now they know.
Somebody better tell the oysters
right away there's trouble ahead.
There you are, Peter.
Thank you.
Have you been making mud pies?
You'd better call downstairs
for an extra 40 minutes.
Are they dirty?
Oh, no.
What'd you do
last night?
Last night? Oh, nothing.
Did you have
a date?
Well, yes, sort of.
Well, did you or didn't you?
Yes.
- Who was he?
- Theodore Drew.
Who?
Theodore Drew III.
Well, you don't seem
very happy about it.
Wasn't it fun?
That's the trouble.
It was so much fun.
What'd you do?
Oh, we went out to dinner,
and we went to different places
and danced and-
Yes.
He's a crazy
sort of person.
Do you like him, Regi?
Well, I could,
but-
But he's going
to be married.
How did you know?
- If it's been printed, Regi, I've read it.
- Who is she?
She's the daughter
of Amos Snowden.
You know, the one they call
"The Pineapple King."
What's her name?
Vivien. Vivien Snowden.
I see.
I hate pineapples.
Many people must like them.
She's enormously wealthy.
Funny, isn't it?
He's rich and she's richer,
so they're gonna get married.
Why didn't you try to convince him
he ought to marry a poor girl?
I tried to. I certainly tried,
until I found out he was engaged,
and then I even tried
a little after that.
Why, Regi?
Because he was Theodore Drew III,
or because you liked him pretty well?
Because I-
No, I haven't changed.
I still say money's
the most important thing.
But there I go, telling you
the story of my life again.
I'll bet you can't wait
for the next installment.
Oh, come in, come in.
This is Liberty Hall.
Make yourself at home.
Thanks.
Have a chair.
Have two chairs.
It took me all afternoon
to learn that I had to dampen
the trousers.
You're not doing
that iron any good.
The iron isn't doing
my pants any good either.
I didn't think
you'd still be here.
Oh, I couldn't leave.
I didn't have the fare.
What do you mean?
No fare. Fare no.
No fare.
Why didn't you wire home
for the money?
Home? I hope that's
not a hat in that bag.
I'm hungry.
Say it's food.
What's that?
That's a man coming
to take me out.
Do you know him well?
No.
You don't want
to see him, do you?
Well, I-What?
Come on.
Now stay in there.
Go on. Stay in there
and shut the door.
Well-
Come on in.
Come on in.
Sit down.
Make yourself at home.
Well, Mac,
what's on your mind?
Eh?
What's on your mind?
What are you selling?
I'm not selling anything.
I'm waiting for Regi.
Regi?
Yeah, Miss Regi Allen.
Doesn't she live here?
Miss?
Yeah.
Miss Regi Allen?
Yeah.
Oh, palming herself off
as single, is she?
Didn't think I'd be back so soon, eh?
Here, hold this a minute.
Oh, trying to hide, huh?
Get out of there!
Didn't think I'd be back, huh?
I'll show ya! Take that!
How do you like that, huh?
Come on, yell a little.
I'll show ya!
"Miss," huh?
Think you can get away
with that stuff with me, huh?
I'm gonna tell
my mother on you!
Go on.
I'll tell my father on you!
Nobody gets away with that.
I'll show her.
Why, what's the matter?
It isn't your fault.
It could've happened to any guy.
Sure, certainly.
Any other husband
would blow your brains out.
But I got self-control, see?
Thank you.
Where'd she put that?
Where did she put that?
Regi, what'd you do
with that gun?
Uh, excuse me. I gotta go.
I got an appointment. Good-bye.
It would be pretty
if he called a policeman.
He won't. He's too scared.
If I'd known he brought mints,
I'd have taken a crack at him.
What did you mean a while ago,
you didn't have railroad fare?
Railroad fare?
I haven't even got bus fare.
I spent it all last night.
Will you have a mint?
No, thanks.
You are Ted Drew,
aren't you?
Yeah, I'm Ted Drew. Why?
If you're Ted Drew,
why are you pressing
your pants?
I slept in them
and they're wrinkled.
And I missed my boat.
Your boat?
Mm-hmm. All my clothes
are on their way to Bermuda
for a nice vacation.
They have other boats.
Why don't you get some more
money and take one?
Why do you persist in saying
I can get money? I have no money.
Ohh!
Do you want some help?
No. What do you mean,
you haven't money?
It's amazing
how people differ.
No matter how hard I try to
convince my tailor I have money,
he says I haven't.
And no matter how hard I try
to convince you I haven't,
you say I have.
If only you were my tailor,
how simple life would be.
Can you sew?
No. What about
your father?
He can't sew either.
Father's living abroad.
He has an amazing ability...
for borrowing money from
practically total strangers.
Unfortunately,
that ability isn't hereditary.
How could the Drews be broke?
Do you remember that thing
called the "crash"?
Yes.
Well, that was us.
Then how did you get
your ticket to Bermuda?
Engagement present
from my fiance's father.
He didn't want me around the house while
they were getting it ready for the wedding.
It wouldn't look right.
Were you living
at the house?
Sure.
Well, pardon me if I seem
to ask a personal question,
but have you ever thought
of going to work?
Work? Certainly not.
What am I trained to work at?
I can't even press
a pair of pants.
Nope, the only job for me
is to marry somebody with money.
Why, you-
Did I say something?
No, I just found
something out.
What?
We're exactly alike.
Oh, no, your hair is much prettier.
We're both trying
to marry for money.
Is that what you want to do?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, you're too nice for that.
Well, I don't want
to spend the rest of my life
working in a barbershop.
Yeah, but to deliberately
marry somebody for money,
that's no good.
Well, what are you doing?
Well, it's different for me.
I'm a heel.
Well, did I ever say
I wasn't one?
Oh. Oh, both members
of the same club, huh?
Well, how do you do?
And now, what
are your plans?
Well, the first thing
I'm gonna do is stop eating
these chocolate-covered mothballs.
And the second,
I'm gonna make you a proposition.
What?
How would you like
to take in a boarder?
I mean,just till my boat
gets back from Bermuda.
- Oh, I couldn't do that.
- Why not?
You got me into this trouble.
It's only fair that you help me get out.
Turn around.
Well, I'm not
that unconventional.
Oh, don't be old-fashioned.
What are conventions anyway?
Just a bunch of salesmen
sitting around telling stories.
It wouldn't look right.
I'm practically married.
I'll be no trouble.
I'll mind the baby.
I'll put out the cat.
No, on second thought,
you'd better put out the cat.
You can turn around now.
Be a good sport and help a fellow out.
I really can't go back
to old man Snowden's.
He don't like people
who miss boats.
Well, I-
What's that?
Some more mints?
Why don't you have somebody call on you
with a chicken sandwich?
I don't know who it is.
Oh, hello.
Hello.
Hello.
We just, uh- Oh.
Oh, Ted, this is
Nona and Pinky Kelly.
Theodore Drew.
How do you do?
Hello.
Hello.
We thought you might want
to go to a picture show.
There's a swell one
at the Band Box Theater.
A horse picture.
Yeah?
Well, isn't that funny?
I was just saying to Regi,
how about getting Nona and Pinky
and running down to see a movie.
Wasn't I, dear?
Come on, dear, put on your hat.
Oh, that's ridiculous.
You couldn't be saying that.
You don't know us. Or do you?
Oh, don't mind him.
Say, Pinky, old boy,
how about stopping
for a bite to eat?
Certainly.
Well, all right.
But just this once.
Next time it's my treat.
Come on, dear.
Well, well-
Well-
Come on, come on!
How do you know
he's there?
Because he's supposed to be in Bermuda.
I'll answer it, Whitey.
Never mind.
Hello, please?
Hello? Isn't this
University 42259?
Uh, yes, but Miss Regi are
not being at home, please.
Coming again, please?
Oh, this is Miss Regi's Japanese boy.
Well, isn't that just dandy?
And when did Miss Allen
get a Japanese boy?
Uh, she winning him
last evening in
a very fine crap game.
He said
I won him yesterday
in a crap game.
Well, Togo, how
are you getting along
with your lunch?
Oh, lunch advancing
very rapidly, please.
Say, how long did you say
to boil those lamb chops? They've been in
a half hour and haven't stiffened up yet.
I didn't say "boil."
I said "broil"!
Oh, is that what you said?
I thought th-that
it was something I did.
No, I'm not having eggplant.
I couldn't get it open.
You'll have to come home
and show me where the zipper is.
Okay, I-I'll see you later.
You come here, please.
Give me my umbrella
so I no get wet.
Now, now. Now, now.
Here I am. Come. Come.
Hey, Regi!
Come on. Run!
Oh-
You can't say I don't
think of you every minute.
I've been sitting here for
two hours reserving this cab.
Have you?
I'll say you have.
Aren't you going to say
it was nice of me?
It was lovely of you.
But taking taxis when you haven't
any money is a little foolish.
Foolish? I couldn't
come out in this pouring rain
and get my only suit all wet.
Where's your overcoat?
Oh, spending a little time
in the pawnshop.
Well, why did ya
pawn your overcoat?
Well, to pay for the taxi,
of course. Dope.
What's all this?
Food.
Well, why did you
get so much for?
You know, there's only
two of us. We could've
cooked some eggs at home.
That's all well enough for you
down in your cool barbershop,
but I've been slaving
over a hot stove all day.
I'd like a meal
I don't have to cook for a change.
Those lamb chops weren't so hot.
Want some?
Shall I answer that?
No, thanks. I'll go.
Miss Allen?
Yes.
Flowers for you.
Oh, thanks.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Oh!
Ah, spring has come
to 120th Street.
- Oh, they're from Allen.
- Who's he?
He's my best friend.
Oh.
Oh, they're lovely.
What are they,
geraniums?
They're daffodils.
He says they make him think of me.
I always thought
your big idea was the man
you'd remind of orchids.
At least I don't remind
people of pineapples.
Ouch.
You had that coming to you.
Your best friend,
uh, is he rich?
Sure.
Well, that's fine.
Fits right in with
your plans, doesn't it?
I haven't any plans.
But your plans
about marrying for money
haven't changed, have they?
Certainly not.
Have yours?
No. Once a heel,
always a heel.
That's our slogan.
You know,
they are kind of like you at that-
tall and blonde.
Holy smoke!
I'm in Bermuda.
Good. I'm in Greenland.
No, don't be superficial.
This is serious.
I'm supposed to be in Bermuda,
and Vivien might telephone.
What'll I do?
Telephone her first.
From New York?
Don't tell her it's from New York.
Tell her it's from Bermuda.
I shall make you
general of all my armies
for that suggestion.
Only you're gonna
tell her I'm gonna
call from Bermuda.
Oh, no, I'm not!
No, come on. You're
gonna be the operator.
Come on.Just this once.
Oh!
Well, what's her number?
Snowden 82793.
Yes?
Yes, this is
the Snowden residence.
Oh, very well.
Bermuda calling Miss Vivien.
Just a moment, please.
Hello?
Hello? Hello, Miss Snowden?
Bermuda calling. Are you ready?
This is Miss Snowden.
Yes, I'm ready.
Well, go ahead with Bermuda.
Hello, Vivien?
Can you hear me?
C- Can you hear me, Vivien?
Hello, Ted. Yes, I can hear
you perfectly. How are you?
And when are you coming back?
Oh, I'm fine, Vivien.
Eh, I'll be back-
Hello? Hello,
Snowden 82793?
Miss Vivien Snowden,
Bermuda calling. Hello?
Hello? Hello, go ahead.
Go ahead with Bermuda-
Operator, I've got Bermuda.
Will you please get off the line?
Hello, hello, Ted?
Can you hear me?
Y- Yes, Vivien,
I can hear you.
Hello? Bermuda.
Oh, operator, I've got Bermuda.
Please get off the wire.
Hello? Hello, Ted?
Can you hear me, Vivien?
- What'd you say, Ted?
- Hello?
Uh, what?
I can't hear you, Vivien.
Can you-
Hello, Miss Snowden. Do you
want the charges reversed?
Oh, operator, go away!
Hello, Miss Snowden?
Bermuda calling-
Oh! I can't stand this.
Hello, Ted? Ted?
Hello? Hello?
Boy, is she mad!
I love my daffodil too!
Hello. Get me the
Bermuda operator, please.
Oh, my jaws hurt.
Yes?
No call from Bermuda?
Why, that's-
From New York?
Are you sure?
Well, thank you.
Oh, wise guy, huh?
What was that?
What's the matter?
Oh, everything's all right.
Hey, Regi,you got
some iodine?
Why? What's the matter?
There's been an accident.
Is there a doctor in the house?
Oh!
Just a minute.
Are you hurt?
Hurt, sire? I'm dead.
What in the world
happened?
I fell off the couch.
Aw, you did?
Oh-ho-ho! Whoa!
It doesn't hurt.
It burns.
I'd fall off every night,
but you'd never hear me.
Do you dream?
No.
You should. You'd meet
a better class of people.
I can't sleep
on a narrow bed.
Aw, you can't?
When I was home, I used to
sleep on a big, double bed.
Well, what would you suggest?
Well, I could suggest something, but-
Well, you won't get mad now, will ya?
- Well, what is it?
- Well-
Will ya tuck me in?
Well, if I wanna get my sleep,
I guess I'd better.
Lie down.
Come on. Lie down.
What's the chair for?
To keep you
from falling out.
You're almost as good at this
as my mother was.
Was there anything else
your mother did?
Mm-hmm.
Before she turned out the lights,
she always used to kiss me good night.
I'm only almost
as good as your mother was.
It's almost five years since
we were on the yacht, sir.
The captain is delighted
you're taking her out again.
You and the captain
shouldn't jump to conclusions, Peter.
I'm not even sure
we are taking it out again.
Wheel me out on the terrace.
I'd like to think it over.
And, of course,
there's always Venice.
I'm sure she'd like Venice.
She's a lovely girl,
Peter.
She is, sir.
She'd make a lovely wife.
She would, sir.
It's only fair to tell you,
Peter, my mind's made up.
Tomorrow I'm going to ask her.
In the morning,
telephone the jeweler and have him
bring all his engagement rings.
Yes, and his wedding rings too.
She might be willing to choose one.
Of course, sir.
It's a fine night, sir.
The morning after
Will you still recall
the thrill we feel
You must have a lot of friends
that could give you a job.
That'd be a fine friend
who'd give you a job.
No friend of mine had better
try anything like that on me.
Hmph.
What's the matter?
You and your ideas.
You wouldn't give an inch,
would you?
Nope. Would you?
Would you?
No. I wouldn't
give an inch.
Okay, then, let's talk
about something else.
All right. What?
Oh, the stars up there,
for instance.
Boy, those really are stars,
aren't they?
Mm, yes, they are.
I've never seen 'em
so close before.
Maybe they never have been.
Have they, Regi?
Not to me.
Oh!
Oh, now, who's that?
Oh, I forgot.
I have a surprise for you.
Oh, stay here, Regi.
That's the nicest present
I could have.
Uh, good evenin',
Miss Regi.
Hello.
I- I sure had a time
gettin' this thing up here.
Eh, Miss Laura,
uh, she said it's gotta
be back in the mornin'.
All right, Snowflake.
Pick it up on your way
to work tomorrow.
Yes'm.
Oh, wait a minute!
There.
Thank you, ma'am,
Miss Regi.
Oh, that's all right.
Thank you, ma'am.
Thank you, ma'am.
- Hey, what's that thing? A lighthouse?
- No.
- Take your shirt off.
You've got to get sunburned.
- Who me?
Well, who went
to Bermuda? Me?
Aw!
What do I have to do that for?
So you won't go back
looking like a ghost.
That's nice talk.
Take your shirt off.
I'm tired. I want to get to bed.
Is it gonna hurt?
It'll probably skin you.
Well, you have to know how
to operate those machines.
There's nothing to it.
They told me at the shop
50 minutes on each side.
Fifty minutes?
Or was it 15?
Slight difference of 35 minutes
naturally wouldn't make
any difference to you, would it?
Well,just stay under it
until you're done.
No. Nothin' doin'.
Are you gonna get undressed,
or do I have to undress you?
All right. All right.
Come on! I've never
seen anything like it.
Man always afraid
of getting hurt.
Well, come on. Come on.
This too?
Well, you can't sunburn
through that.
I could tell her I wore
a swimming shirt.
You fool.
Now get underneath it.
Now lie down.
I think that's close enough.
Oh, stop squawking.
There.
Get your feet up!
Is it warm?
Do you think
I'll burn or freckle?
I don't know your habits.
You should.
What time does your boat
get in tomorrow?
I don't know.
Don't you think you'd better
do something about looking it up?
Where's the paper?
Oh, Whitey's sitting on it.
That shows you what he thinks
about the whole business.
He's always been
something of a critic.
Excuse me, dear.
I wanna look up
the shipping news.
Hey, don't you think
I've had enough of this sun?
After all, I'm just supposed
to be a visitor in Bermuda,
not a native West Indian.
Would you
like a drink of water?
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Please.
Turn over.
Thanks. You know, you'll
make some guy a darn good wife.
It's funny how
people thought we were married.
Yeah. Funny, isn't it?
Well, I don't know.
It isn't so funny at that.
I've heard of funnier things.
I'll bet we'd make a nice couple.
Have you forgotten we're heels?
You haven't lost sight
of your plans, have you?
Have you?
Certainly not.
Well, neither have I.
What's the idea
of playing blind man's bluff
this time of the night?
So you won't
hurt your eyes.
Oh.
Well, we've had a lot of laughs,
haven't we, Regi?
Yeah, we've had
a lotta laughs.
I've never had
so much fun in my whole life.
You remember that first night?
When I had the hiccups?
When we had
the hiccups,you mean.
Yeah, there'll be a lot of things
I'll remember.
You've had enough, Ted,
and I'm tired anyway.
Don't go yet, Regi.
This is all the time
we'll have together.
Yes, I know,
but I have to work
in the morning.
Would you
bring the things in
from the outside?
Yeah.
Regi.
- What is it?
- Aren't you gonna tuck me in?
Regi?
This is the last time
you'll do this.
Just this once, Regi,
for going away?
Good night.
Thanks.
Don't mention it.
Good night.
Regi.
Regi.
Yes?
Will you come out?
I wanna talk to you.
No, not tonight.
I'm very sleepy.
But this is our last night.
Yes, I know.
Please come out.
I won't sleep if you don't.
Of course you will.
Please.
There's the light.
You've got to get to bed.
You've got to get up early.
Well... good night.
Good night.
I didn't know
you were out here.
I- I wasn't
sleeping very much.
Neither was I.
I've been awake all night.
I know.
It's swell out here, isn't it?
Yes, lovely.
We can't.
Why not?
Oh, there's a hundred-million miles
between us.
It doesn't seem
that far.
We're not for each other.
I think we are.
In six months you'd hate me,
or have to.
No, I wouldn't.
I know better.
You'd have to scratch for a living
in a world you know nothing about.
Isn't that what
you're doing?
I'm used to it.
I could get used to it.
It's too late. You couldn't
fit yourself to being poor.
Other people have done it.
Yes, and there's
no greater tragedy.
With you it would be
a thousand times worse.
You'd always know
you could've been rich again
if you hadn't been foolish.
You'd be thinking
about that all the time.
You couldn't help it.
Marry the rich one, kid.
Believe me, if I were you,
that's what I'd do.
Good night.
Good night.
Oh, you fool.
Oh, no, Whitey,
you can't go.
Ted.
Ted!
Morning, Miles.
Did I get you up?
Why, Mr. Drew!
We didn't expect you.
Did you get back
from Bermuda?
Don't I look it?
Tell Miss Vivien I'm here.
But Miss Vivien's
in New York, Mr. Drew.
In New York?
Yes, sir. Staying
at the Savoy-Cariton.
The Savoy-Cariton?
Yes, sir.
Well, why
the Savoy-Cariton?
Well, I don't know, sir.
She didn't say.
But I suppose
she had some reason.
Well, thanks, Miles.
That's where I go, then.
Keep out of drafts,
won't you?
Yes. Thank you, sir.
Oh, Mr. Drew!
The next train isn't
until quarter of 9:00.
Thanks, Miles.
And now, uh,
this model, Miss Snowden,
I particularly prize.
Isn't that stunning?
That would be terrific
on my camel trip to the pyramids.
Miss Snowden.
Yes?
The manicurist
will be right up.
Uh, I'll see the rest
in just a moment.
Yes, Miss Snowden.
Did you get the one
I asked for?
Yes, Miss Snowden.
And are you sure you
didn't mention my name?
No, Miss Snowden.
Just the number
of the apartment.
You sent for
a manicurist?
Yes, please.
In here, please.
The manicurist, mademoiselle.
Yes. Yes, of course.
Are you ready?
Yes, I'm ready.
Will you fill this
with warm water,
please? Thanks.
Uh, I hope you'll forgive this mess,
but I've been inspecting my trousseau.
Oh, that's all right.
Any shorter?
No.
Your name is Regi Allen,
isn't it?
Yes.
When you called downstairs for me,
I thought I must've
done your nails before.
No. The manager
said you were the best,
and that's how I happened to-
That's nice of him.
Thank you.
Will you tell me something
about your profession?
Why is it that all men
attempt to dine with manicurists
the minute they sit down?
Is it because they are
holding hands, more or less?
I think that's
a little exaggerated.
Not from what I hear.
Every man I know who has
an evening on his hands says,
"I think I'll get a manicure."
Oh, he does?
Well, I don't think
he always succeeds.
Oh, I see.
You're an exception.
That's why you only dine with men like,
uh, Theodore Drew III, for instance.
You don't want a manicure,
Miss Snowden.
No.
I only wanted to see what you were like,
and that didn't take very long.
When Ted telephoned from New York
and said he was in Bermuda,
I engaged detectives to find out
what part of New York.
Can I say something?
Quite unnecessary.
Well, there's nothing
between Ted and me.
I said you didn't have to explain.
I know all about what happened
between you and Ted.
My purpose in seeing you
was to see if you were different
than an ordinary manicurist.
Now that I've met you,
my dear Miss Allen,
my fears are quite groundless.
Are you through?
There's one thing
I think we haven't covered.
Mr. Drew, as you probably know,
is not overly wealthy at the moment.
I think it's only fair
that you should be paid.
You'd better be careful,
Miss Snowden.
That you should be paid
for a week's manicuring.
If you'll find me my purse-
I wouldn't for the world
want you wasting your time.
Mr. Drew will find your purse.
There's no charge.
I'm quite accustomed
to wasting my time on people.
What time is it, Peter?
Nearly 12:00, sir.
Got the champagne ready?
Yes, sir.
You think she'll like it,
Peter?
Oh, she couldn't
help it, sir.
Oh, you're so late
this morning, miss.
Mr. Macklyn has been-
Yes, I know.
I was polishing up a bride.
Can I see Mr. Macklyn?
Oh, yes, miss.
He's waiting for you
impatiently.
Well, at last.
What a day to be late.
Oh!
What is it, Regi?
Don't talk yet.
That's right, dear.
Have it out.
Oh, Allen, y-you don't know.
Come, come now.
It's not as bad as that.
Yes, it is.
It's terrible.
Can't you tell me
about it, Regi?
Oh, it's Ted.
He's gone back to that other girl.
Oh!
So you did let yourself
fall in love with him.
Yes! Hard-boiled Hannah
was gonna fall in love with a bankroll.
I'm sorry, Regi.
Well, don't be sorry for me.
It serves me right!
Serves me right for going back
on everything I believed.
Oh, I should've run like mad
when I saw what was happening.
But not me, no! I jump at it.
I wanna get bitten. Well, I got it.
You can't run away
from love, Regi.
It just comes.
I know how ya feel.
Come now. Come on.
Come on. Stop crying.
I won't!
I'll cry if I want to.
I've got a good cry
coming to me!
All right. All right.
Perhaps you'd better
have some music with it.
It's much more effective
with music.
No, it isn't! I know!
I don't want that!
Hello, Celeste.
Hello, Monsieur Drew.
Vous etes amuse a Bermuda?
Oh, comme ci, comme ca.
Is, uh, she in there?
Hi.
Hi, Ted.
How are ya?
Oh, I'm fine.
And so are you.
There's nothing quite
like a trip to Bermuda.
No, indeed.
But that depends.
What depends?
On if you go to Bermuda.
This time I didn't go.
Where have you been?
Downstairs.
Is that where you met her?
Yeah, that's just
where I met her, but-
When you called from Bermuda
the wires were crossed,
and I took it upon myself
to get them connected again.
I know her.
And I know this too-
I'll take you back again.
I'm afraid it's a little late.
Once I was
a very interesting young fellow
made-to-order for you.
I was the enemy of the ordinary.
But do you know
what's on my mind right now?
No.
I'm wondering where
I can get a job.
What can you do?
Early this morning
I bumped into the milkman,
and I says, says I,
"That man had better be moving,
or I'll take away his bottles and show him
how milk should really be sold."
No kidding. I don't care what it is.
I wanna sell something.
I'm in the subway now,
and I don't think you'd like me anymore.
Wouldn't I?
What do you suggest
doing about it?
Ask you to release me
from our engagement.
Why should I?
We entered this agreement
with our eyes open.
I know, and I know how I must look to you,
but it's better it happen now than later.
Well, that's
a small silver lining.
Oh, Ted, grow up!
I thought I was in love once
myself-with a policeman
on a horse in Central Park.
But I know I'm in love...
with a manicurist
in a barbershop.
How can you marry her?
How can you live
without money?
I'll earn it.
That's what I should've
been doing long ago.
Good heavens. You really
do mean it, don't you?
It's probably the only thing
I've ever meant in my life.
Won't last six months.
I'll take a chance on that.
You certainly will.
I hope you're very happy
on the Milky Way.
Can't do any more
than drown me.
Then all I can say is
good-bye, Ted.
Good-bye, and thanks.
Feel better?
Mm-hmm.
Some champagne?
No. I don't want any.
Strange.
In moments like these,
most people do.
You're playing havoc
with tradition.
Well, then,
go and wash your funny face.
And later on,
I may have a proposition
to make to you.
Something
I've been thinking about
quite a lot lately.
Well, what is it?
Mm-mm. Not now. Later.
I want to wait until
you're all calmed down.
All right.
You know,
my hair must look like
a busted bale of hay.
Oh!
Bye now.
Oh-Ah!
Nona, where's Regi?
Oh, hello, Ted.
She's upstairs.
She's not with Miss Snowden.
I don't know, then,
unless she's with Mr. Macklyn.
Macklyn?
Where's he?
Yes. 1502.
Why don't you
go up after her?
I'm practically there.
Oh, dear! He frightened me.
You know, he's a boyfriend
of a girlfriend of mine.
Yes.
Oh, dear.
You'll pardon me,
won't you?
Certainly.
Peter!
I'm sorry for busting in.
I knocked and nobody answered.
I'm in a hurry.
Won't you come in?
Oh, thanks.
That'll be all, Peter.
Uh, is she here?
She? Who?
Regi Allen.
The girl who came up
to give you a manicure.
Yes. Surely there
must be another manicurist
in the barbershop.
Oh, I don't want a manicure.
I want to get married.
Married?
Yes.
You don't mind if I
ask her to marry me
on your time, do you?
Oh, I'm sorry.
You must think I'm nuts.
My name is Theodore Drew.
Yes, I rather thought so.
Did she tell you
about me?
Yes.
Won't you sit down?
Yeah, thanks.
Everything was mixed up,
but it's straightened out now.
You don't mind if I use your rooms
as a bench in the park,
just to propose in?
We can go outside
for the kissing part.
- That's quite all right.
- I'm a little nervous.
You should be.
Maybe you need a drink.
Yeah, maybe I do.
Maybe we both
need a drink.
That's an idea.
Do you mind?
No, I'd be glad to.
I don't know of two people
who have a better right
to have a drink.
Think she'll
be glad to see me?
I doubt it.
She's through with you.
Through with me!
She can't be through with me.
You know what she's done?
She's wrecked my life.
She's got me thinking of
looking for a job.
Does she know that?
No, but she's
gonna find out.
I'm afraid you're too late.
She thinks you want to be a gigolo.
A gigolo!
Is that what she thinks of me?
Fine opinion she's got of me.
Uh, how about my drink?
Oh, I'm sorry.
Women are nuts anyway.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
That's enough.
When a man's
in love with a woman,
he shouldn't keep it a secret.
A secret? I've done
everything but broadcast it.
Do you want some fizz?
No, thanks.
Everybody in the hotel
knows it.
Except Regi.
Well, can I help it
if love's blind?
Women like to be
swept off their feet.
Well, that's what
I'm here for.
Well, then take my advice,
and don't do it with a feather duster.
Good luck.
Thanks.
- Oh! So I'm a gigolo, am I?
- What are you doing here?
What do you mean
by telling people
I don't wanna go to work?
You wouldn't take a job
if it was thrown in your lap.
Is that so!
Go back to your pineapple queen.
She's not my pineapple queen.
I gave her back to the Hawaiians.
What's the matter?
Find somebody with
more pineapples?
No. I found somebody
I shouldn't waste my time on.
But like an imbecile,
I fell in love with her.
Love? Ha-ha!
The only one you're
in love with is yourself!.
Is that so?
Yes, I fell in love!
I hope you eat so many
pineapples you get sick!
I never thought I'd
fall for the racket-
Shut up!
What do you think my apartment is,
Madison Square Garden?
Go someplace else and do your battling.
What do you mean by coming up
in this gentleman's apartment
and making all this noise?
All right. Let's go someplace
where we can argue
like gentlemen!
Let go of my wrist!
Ouch!
Come on!
Allen!
Allen, save me! Ow!
Sir, you can't possibly
stand all this.
It's all right, Peter.
Allen!
Oh, Allen, you're so right.
It is love that counts.
Good-bye.
See you soon.
Oh, but, sir, please-
Uh-
I, uh, forgot my hat.
Good-bye, Mr. Macklyn.
Thanks a lot.
But what are we doing here?
We're going to lunch. I know the place
where they have the swellest goulash.
We haven't time.
We have too many things to do.
We've got to get the license,
you've gotta see about your job
and we've gotta get married.
You don't expect me to get married
on an empty stomach, do ya?
Well, I'm not going all over town
looking for goulash.
Okay, we'll flip for it.
Heads, we get married,
and tails, we go to lunch.
You got a coin?
Yes, I think so.
If it stands on edge,
I'll look for a job.
You flip it.
Ohh! Stop the bus!
Ring the bell.
Oh! Stop the bus!
Stop the bus!
Well, what is it? What is it?
W- Well, what is it?
Oh.
Well, I guess
we look for a job.
Hey, lay off
of that, will ya?
Don't crowd.
Let 'em off.
Let 'em off.
Don't crowd.
Do you think
they'll be wearing 'em
like this next year?
Aw, that was such
a cute little hat.
And I know it made me
look 10 years younger.
Yeah.
Call for Mr. Schlepermeyer.
Call for Mr. Schlepermeyer.
Call for Mr. Schlepermeyer.
Well, another day
just like the rest of them.
Why, Regi,
this is a lucky day.
Did you find a horseshoe
in the subway?
Oh, how are you going to get
a horse in the subway?
Oh!
Now listen, really.
It's a lucky day because
my numerology book says so.
All the auguries are good,
and it's the fifth day
and the fifth month.
And five and five are eight-
I- I mean 10.
Sure, and it's three minutes
till 9:00. I can play too.
Oh, now listen.
It's really like this.
You put it all together
and it spells-
Yeah, put it all together
and it's still three minutes of 9:00.
Oh, will you just let me
explain to you?
Hey!
It's wonderful
the way you two
get under the wire.
Well, one of you hurry up.
1502's been phoning
for a manicure since 8:30.
1502! Up where the rich live.
Who is it?
A Mr. Macklyn.
Married?
That makes two things
I forgot to ask him-
what he had for breakfast
and whether he's married or not.
No, when they're married,
they usually come down
to the shop to get away.
I guess he's single, all right.
You mean you hope
he's single, all right.
What's the matter?
Can't you find
your thumb?
Oh, go on up. 1502 is really
an awful lucky number for you.
Five and one is six,
and six and two are eight.
Yeah, maybe here's
that $10 million you've
been dreamin' about.
The way I feel today,
I'd settle for a million.
Yeah, well, hurry.
You sent for a manicurist?
Mr. Macklyn did.
Come in.
This way, please.
Mr. Macklyn,
the new manicurist is here.
What? Well, tell her
I don't want a manicurist.
Well, how about a manicure then?
Now that you mention it,
it's the very thing I need.
I haven't had one since yesterday.
Do you have one every day?
Some people play golf
to pass the time,
some go in for tap dancing,
some destroy clay pigeons.
I have manicures.
On the behalf of
the manicurists' union,
I thank you.
It's I who should
thank the union.
The manicure
takes 40 minutes.
That leaves the day
only 23 hours
and 20 minutes long.
Oh, Peter, will you
see what Miss, uh-
Allen.
Regi Allen.
Exactly.
What Miss Regi Allen
requires.
Would you fill this
with warm water, please?
Yes, miss.
Thank you.
Just a minute, Peter.
Would you care for a drink?
Oh, no.
The day's just started.
What a fresh point of view.
To me, the night's just ended.
Very well, then, Peter.
Just one for me.
Yes, sir.
This is a very pretty room.
It's very becoming to you.
Thank you.
Oh, isn't he attractive!
Is he your brother?
No, that's a picture of me
taken four years ago.
Oh, are you a flier?
I was a flier.
Airplanes weren't as safe
then as they are now.
Is there
anything else, miss?
No, thank you.
I'm afraid I seemed
rather disagreeable
when Peter announced you.
Oh, that's all right.
The manicurist I've been having
just got married,
and I'm still rather embarrassed
about meeting people.
Why?
I'm always afraid
they'll feel sorry for me.
What?
When you have all this?
Hmm. You just try getting up
every morning at 7:00.
Then jammed in the subway.
Then poking at peoples' cuticle all day.
And then jammed back
in the subway again at night.
I don't feel sorry for you, mister.
Thanks.
I think we'll get along.
I've talked enough now.
I'd better go.
You'll come back
day after tomorrow?
I just spent two bucks
on a memory course.
Bye.
Good-bye.
Thank you, miss.
It's a long time since
I heard Mr. Macklyn laugh.
He's got a few laughs
coming to him.
I think so too.
Oh, I haven't
any change for that.
You're not supposed to have.
That's a 10-dollar bill.
I think Mr. Macklyn
can afford it.
Thanks.
Peter!
Coming, sir.
Peter, this dressing gown's a disgrace.
I can't be entertaining
a young lady in this outfit.
Yes, sir.
You look divine.
Allen Macklyn,
that's the fifth new dressing gown
you've worn in three weeks.
You're getting to be
a regular fashion plate.
They call me Beau Macklyn.
The man at Charvet's
assured Peter this is
the very newest thing.
Do you really like it?
Oh, it's lovely.
Honestly, I can't do
a thing to those nails.
How about
my 40 minutes?
Well, what can I do?
Well, you might try
doing nothing.
Pretend to be
one of the idle rich
and see how you like it.
Peter!
Yes, sir.
Coming, sir.
Tea on the terrace, please,
for two very rich people.
It is ready, sir.
I wonder what the poor people
are doing on a day like this.
Oh!
Gee, you're lucky.
Won't you pour?
Me?
Well, who else?
That'll be all, Peter.
Well, I'll try, but it may throw me.
Ohh!
Try putting the other hand
on the top.
Ooh, you mean like-
There, that's it.
Oh, I get it.
Two hands for beginners.
Why did you say
I was lucky?
You don't have to pretend.
To be rich?
Mm-hmm.
You think a lot about money,
don't you, Regi?
You've got it.
You don't have to think
about it. Sugar?
Two, please, and lemon.
I thought girls your age
always thought about love.
Oh, love.
I don't want anything
to do with it.
That's what you say now, Regi,
and maybe you may even mean it.
Oh, I mean it, all right.
I think you're off
on the wrong tack, Regi.
I wish I could show you
how valueless money is.
You can't.
I know what love can get you into.
I know what it got my mother into.
She was young and pretty once.
I saw her count pennies
and wash and struggle...
until she was old and ugly.
I heard her nagging my father
until he hated to come home.
You couldn't blame him.
You couldn't blame anything but poverty.
I see.
Oh, I didn't mean to
let my back hair down so far.
But that's what you get
for encouraging me.
Oh, I'm terribly sorry!
Oh, don't worry
about that.
It's awful.
I'm so sorry.
The only thing that worries me
is you, your ideas.
But you certainly seem
to know what you want.
I know a lot of things.
You certainly do.
And I'll bet you forget all of them
when the right man comes along.
No, I won't. You can't blame me
for wanting the things I do.
Every woman wants them.
Only I say I do.
Well, if you'll excuse me,
after making a mess of things
I'll go back to the grind.
You've had enough
for one day.
Not nearly.
Gee, I'm sorry
I spilt the tea.
Oh!
Accidents
can happen to anyone.
See?
Thanks. I'm afraid you do it
better than I do.
Good-bye.
Good-bye.
Peter'll see you to the door.
Yes, he always does.
You know, I feel like a chiseler
when I take your money. Funny, isn't it?
I guess it's because you're
the only real friend I've got.
Thanks.
It's been a lot of fun.
Confessions and all?
Confessions and all, Regi.
Bye.
Good-bye.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't know the lights
were against me.
That's all right.
Hopscotch.
Hopscotch?
Mm-hmm.
Indoor hopscotch.
Not up to turf and field hopscotch,
but hopscotch nevertheless.
- Get the idea?
- Yes, I get the idea.
- Do you wanna play?
- No, thanks.
Well, every man
to his own sport.
You'll be sorry
when I'm champion!
Savoy-Cariton Barber Shop.
Manicure? Yes.
Right away. Yes, sir.
What name, please?
Oh, yes, sir!
Regi, I'm gonna give you
your Christmas present in May.
What?
The answer to every working girl's prayer
just called up for a manicure.
So get out your hope chest, dearie.
- Who is he?
- Theodore Drew III, baby.
Three's a bad number-
That doesn't mean anything.
- It means he must have had a grandfather.
- Is he rich?
Not only rich,
but young and handsome.
What do you talk about to a guy like that?
What does he like?
- Blondes, probably.
- Well, you can't talk about that.
Then tell him how you just love polo.
That's always safe.
Thanks.
Oh, sorry, this is reserved
for an appointment.
Aw, but I have an-
Sorry.
Excuse me.
Pardon me.
Are you taken?
Uh, for what?
A manicure.
Oh, no.
Are you interested
in numerology?
No.
If you don't mind.
Excuse me.
Thank you.
What's the matter?
Don't you know
who that is?
Sure. That's the future
hopscotch champion,
and I'm not interested in hopscotch.
You poor sap.
That's Theodore Drew III.
That hick?
Hick? Hmm!
Ohh!
Oh, boy, oh, boy,
do I pick 'em!
I'll say you do,
dearie.
Oh, thank you.
Well, what's
the matter, dear?
This is it. That chance in a million.
He's rich. He's so rich, he's crazy.
I'm gonna make a stab at him.
You back me up.
Well, who are you gonna
stab in the back?
Shh! Nobody.
Well-
Hello!
My, but you've grown thin!
M- My appointment was canceled.
What's the matter?
Uh, are you really
Theodore Drew?
So I've always been told.
Why?
You don't look like my idea
of any Theodore Drew III.
I know.
I've had a lot of complaints
about it from my parents.
Mother says I'm a throwback
to my great-grandfather.
He was a pirate.
- Honest?
- No, a pirate.
Oh.
I was in the navy
myself for a while.
You were?
Mm-hmm.
Till Dad yanked me.
He said the thought of
my being a sailor made him seasick.
Blood.
I've been stabbed.
Oh!
Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
Stabbed in the cuticle.
What a way to die.
It-It's never happened before.
Please excuse it.
I'm- I'm terribly sorry.
Perfectly all right.
Oh!
Oh, I'm- I'm-
I'm terribly sorry.
This isn't your first manicure,
by any chance, is it?
No, it isn't.
Well, look, uh,
if you think I ought to have ether,
don't be afraid to say so.
Honestly, I've only
cut someone once before.
Aha.
Then I'm your second manicure.
No, there have been
quite a few before you.
How did you happen
to become a manicurist...
instead of taking up pearl diving?
Oh, I'm not really
interested in manicuring.
So I gathered.
What does fascinate you?
Polo.
I'm simply mad about polo.
Really?
What position do you play?
Oh, I don't play.
I just follow it.
Where?
Oh, all over.
As a matter of fact, I was reading
an article on polo when you came in.
Oh, really?
What a coincidence.
Isn't it thrilling when they come
galloping down the diamond
on those dear little ponies,
with the mallets flying
and the chukkers?
- Oh, I just love the chukkers.
- I play chess myself.
But you play polo,
don't you?
No. Sorry.
Oh, you don't?
Lady, I don't even like horses.
You don't?
Ohh!
Oh! I'm-
I'm terribly sorry.
That's perfectly all right.
I've still got these left.
That's all.
Thank you.
Are you doing
anything tonight?
Would you mind feeding me?
I'm going to have to have a nurse.
I'll have to leave about 12:00.
I'm going out of town.
That's all right.
I'll see you about 7:00.
No dressing.
No 7:00, dressing-
I mean 7:00, no dressing.
Oh, Mr. Drew!
Yes?
You don't know
where I live.
The subject
hadn't come up.
493 West 120th.
Miss Regi Allen.
See you at 7:00.
Seventy-five cents, plea-
Oh! No charge.
No charge?
No charge?
No, no charge. No.
When the gong strikes,
the time will be exactly 8:00.
Now, on with the dance.
Well, maybe he said 8: 00.
00's a much better number
than 7: 00 anyway.
No, he said 7:00.
I heard him, all right.
Well, 7:00 and 8:00
sound kind of alike.
You'll spoil your dinner
if you keep on
eatin' them nuts.
I guess there isn't
gonna be any dinner.
Oh, now, maybe
he forgot the address,
and he's walking
up and down the block.
Pinky dear, you go stand
in front of the house so he'll know.
Me?
Mm-hmm.
He wouldn't know me.
He might.
You're always forgetting people.
No, he didn't
forget the address.
He forgot the date.
Well, I guess it was
too good to be true.
Regi, I think you're
well out of it.
Those numbers
didn't add up at all good,
and that three
is dangerous for you.
Oh, that's him!
And it's a four!
What'd I tell you?
Well, tell him to wait.
I'll be right down.
Hello. Regi'll be-
I mean, Miss Allen
will be right down.
All right. Thank you.
Oh! Oh, what a grand
speaking voice!
Do I look all right?
Oh, you look swell.
Oh, my bag and gloves!
Pinky, would you mind-
Don't forget to be refined.
You know the kind of girls
he's used to.
Oh, I'll be a lady, all right.
I've been practicing for this for years.
Au revoir.
See you in the society page-
Oh, my!
- Oh! It's the hiccups.
- It's the nuts.
Oh, people in society
don't act that way.
Maybe you haven't got 'em.
Breathe in and out.
You stupe!
How else can you breathe?
Here. Drink this.
I guess they're gone,
all right. Thanks.
You were sweet to stop in.
Good-bye.
Now, don't worry, dear.
We'll lock up.
Listen, don't forget
to be refined.
Will you have a cocktail?
Yes, I'd love
an old-fashioned.
Two old-fashioneds,
please.
Ah! Young lady,
you stand on the threshold...
of the greatest
experience in life.
Until we entered this restaurant
you had only been existing.
Now you're about to live.
I envy you.
What is it?
Onion soup.
Onion soup?
Oh, don't say it like that.
Say it with reverence.
Please give it the respect it's entitled to.
Onion soup.
No, no, no.
More tenderly.
Put a caress in it.
Onion... soup?
Well, that's better.
Waiter, onion soup.
Bi-A big quantity.
Bring me a big vat.
And the young lady?
Cup? Yes, ma'am.
So that's your gratitude.
No, I-
Why,you have
the hiccups.
Yes. I'm sorry.
Well,you're very lucky.
It so happens that you're
sitting with one of the world's
most eminent hiccup specialists.
Are you-
Are you, honestly?
Well, no. No, I am lying.
I am not one of the greatest.
I am the greatest hiccup destroyer
in the history of medical science.
Right this minute,
young lady, you are cured.
Oh, I'm glad-
I'm glad to hear it.
Now do just as I do.
Take your napkin.
Go on.
Put your napkin on.
Take your glass like this.
That's right.
Now drink out of
the other side of it,
just like I do.
Oh-
Come on.
You gotta get up and do it.
Drink out of
the other side.
And drink it all.
Drink it all.
Yeah.
Oh, my.
There you are. Cured.
And you won't have hiccups
again for a year.
I'll have to remember that.
Where did you learn it?
Oh, during the war.
The war?
Why, you couldn't
have been in the war.
Oh, I don't mean the Civil War.
I mean the Spanish-American War.
Oh, I see.
Onion soup. My life begins.
Skoal.
No hiccups for a year.
My, how time flies
when you're having fun.
I read an article on hiccups-
It said they can always be avoided,
and that giving in to them
shows a lack of willpower.
No kidding.
Nobody has to have hiccups.
I'm sorry.
It's the rules.
Patrons cannot enter
in those clothes.
Oh, we can't wear
these clothes?
Yes, sir. I'm sure
you will understand.
Surely I understand.
Surely you understand.
Surely I understand.
Mais non, mais non,
madame, monsieur.
C'est impossible. Non.
Okay, Toots, you win.
Hook this for me,
will you?
Voulez-vous
servir ici,Jean.
Will you have
something?
One more?
No, thank you.
Mind if I have one?
Well, a little bit.
You've had
an awful lot already.
See what my home life is?
Nag, nag, nag!
But your wife
is so pretty.
Pretty?
Hmm, well, I suppose so,
in a- in an Oriental sort of way.
You know,
you'd be very beautiful
with blonde hair.
I have blonde hair.
I know it.
I really had a lovely time.
Thank you, lady.
I've never had
a better time in my life.
From the bottom of my heart,
I thank you.
If- If when you get back,
you'd care to call me up,
I could give you my number.
I mean, I- I could write it down for you
in case you've forgotten it.
Yes, do that.
I would love to call you.
I get back on the 11 th.
I can see you the 12th.
Oh, no, no. I'm-
I'm getting married the 12th.
I could see you
the next day though.
No, I suppose
she'd want a honeymoon.
They all want honeymoons.
Slaves of fashion,
that's what we are.
The whole business
is a vicious-
A vicious-
A vicious-
Here we are. Thank you
for a very lovely evening,
Mr. Drew.
There's no need
of your getting up.
Is he bye-bye?
Well, yes.
Do you want me to help you
take him upstairs?
He doesn't live here.
He has to go out of town
and only has 15 minutes.
That's time enough, lady.
No passenger of mine's
missed a train in 10 years.
What train
does he go on?
Why, I don't know.
Mr. Drew? Ted?
Mr. Drew!
He's moved. That's a good sign.
Keep talking to him.
Mr. Drew!
Mr. Drew!
He's got to get
on that train.
Have you any idea
where he's going?
It might strike a chord.
Do you want to go
to Newport? Newport.
This ain't no season
for Newport, lady.
Try somewheres else.
Palm Beach?
Long Island?
Greenwich?
Rye?
Yes, please,
with ginger ale.
Oh, Ted, where
do you want to go?
Wake up!
All aboard!
Wake up!
Wake up!
I am up!
And so's the whole neighborhood!
If you don't get that drunk out of there,
I'll call for the police!
Oh, don't drop him.
Wake up.
Yoo-hoo!
Come on now.
Ow!
Oh, let me sleep, will ya?
But I got to go
to work.
Look, I can't take you home.
Why don't you take a cab like a good fella?
This is my house, I thought.
Peter!
Coming, sir.
Yes, sir?
She's late, isn't she?
Miss Regi? Oh, no, sir.
It's not 11:30 yet.
You think they're
dirty enough?
That's better, sir.
You don't think
she won't come?
Oh, she'll come, sir.
She said she would.
She's a nice girl,
isn't she, Peter?
She is indeed, sir.
Good morning,
Miss Regi.
Good morning.
You're all right, aren't you?
Does it show as much as that?
How's he today?
Like he always is
on the days you're coming.
Fine.
Hello.
Good morning, Regi.
What's the news?
Oh, nothing much.
Oh,yes.
Up till now,
they've never been able to tell
a male from a female oyster.
Now they know.
Somebody better tell the oysters
right away there's trouble ahead.
There you are, Peter.
Thank you.
Have you been making mud pies?
You'd better call downstairs
for an extra 40 minutes.
Are they dirty?
Oh, no.
What'd you do
last night?
Last night? Oh, nothing.
Did you have
a date?
Well, yes, sort of.
Well, did you or didn't you?
Yes.
- Who was he?
- Theodore Drew.
Who?
Theodore Drew III.
Well, you don't seem
very happy about it.
Wasn't it fun?
That's the trouble.
It was so much fun.
What'd you do?
Oh, we went out to dinner,
and we went to different places
and danced and-
Yes.
He's a crazy
sort of person.
Do you like him, Regi?
Well, I could,
but-
But he's going
to be married.
How did you know?
- If it's been printed, Regi, I've read it.
- Who is she?
She's the daughter
of Amos Snowden.
You know, the one they call
"The Pineapple King."
What's her name?
Vivien. Vivien Snowden.
I see.
I hate pineapples.
Many people must like them.
She's enormously wealthy.
Funny, isn't it?
He's rich and she's richer,
so they're gonna get married.
Why didn't you try to convince him
he ought to marry a poor girl?
I tried to. I certainly tried,
until I found out he was engaged,
and then I even tried
a little after that.
Why, Regi?
Because he was Theodore Drew III,
or because you liked him pretty well?
Because I-
No, I haven't changed.
I still say money's
the most important thing.
But there I go, telling you
the story of my life again.
I'll bet you can't wait
for the next installment.
Oh, come in, come in.
This is Liberty Hall.
Make yourself at home.
Thanks.
Have a chair.
Have two chairs.
It took me all afternoon
to learn that I had to dampen
the trousers.
You're not doing
that iron any good.
The iron isn't doing
my pants any good either.
I didn't think
you'd still be here.
Oh, I couldn't leave.
I didn't have the fare.
What do you mean?
No fare. Fare no.
No fare.
Why didn't you wire home
for the money?
Home? I hope that's
not a hat in that bag.
I'm hungry.
Say it's food.
What's that?
That's a man coming
to take me out.
Do you know him well?
No.
You don't want
to see him, do you?
Well, I-What?
Come on.
Now stay in there.
Go on. Stay in there
and shut the door.
Well-
Come on in.
Come on in.
Sit down.
Make yourself at home.
Well, Mac,
what's on your mind?
Eh?
What's on your mind?
What are you selling?
I'm not selling anything.
I'm waiting for Regi.
Regi?
Yeah, Miss Regi Allen.
Doesn't she live here?
Miss?
Yeah.
Miss Regi Allen?
Yeah.
Oh, palming herself off
as single, is she?
Didn't think I'd be back so soon, eh?
Here, hold this a minute.
Oh, trying to hide, huh?
Get out of there!
Didn't think I'd be back, huh?
I'll show ya! Take that!
How do you like that, huh?
Come on, yell a little.
I'll show ya!
"Miss," huh?
Think you can get away
with that stuff with me, huh?
I'm gonna tell
my mother on you!
Go on.
I'll tell my father on you!
Nobody gets away with that.
I'll show her.
Why, what's the matter?
It isn't your fault.
It could've happened to any guy.
Sure, certainly.
Any other husband
would blow your brains out.
But I got self-control, see?
Thank you.
Where'd she put that?
Where did she put that?
Regi, what'd you do
with that gun?
Uh, excuse me. I gotta go.
I got an appointment. Good-bye.
It would be pretty
if he called a policeman.
He won't. He's too scared.
If I'd known he brought mints,
I'd have taken a crack at him.
What did you mean a while ago,
you didn't have railroad fare?
Railroad fare?
I haven't even got bus fare.
I spent it all last night.
Will you have a mint?
No, thanks.
You are Ted Drew,
aren't you?
Yeah, I'm Ted Drew. Why?
If you're Ted Drew,
why are you pressing
your pants?
I slept in them
and they're wrinkled.
And I missed my boat.
Your boat?
Mm-hmm. All my clothes
are on their way to Bermuda
for a nice vacation.
They have other boats.
Why don't you get some more
money and take one?
Why do you persist in saying
I can get money? I have no money.
Ohh!
Do you want some help?
No. What do you mean,
you haven't money?
It's amazing
how people differ.
No matter how hard I try to
convince my tailor I have money,
he says I haven't.
And no matter how hard I try
to convince you I haven't,
you say I have.
If only you were my tailor,
how simple life would be.
Can you sew?
No. What about
your father?
He can't sew either.
Father's living abroad.
He has an amazing ability...
for borrowing money from
practically total strangers.
Unfortunately,
that ability isn't hereditary.
How could the Drews be broke?
Do you remember that thing
called the "crash"?
Yes.
Well, that was us.
Then how did you get
your ticket to Bermuda?
Engagement present
from my fiance's father.
He didn't want me around the house while
they were getting it ready for the wedding.
It wouldn't look right.
Were you living
at the house?
Sure.
Well, pardon me if I seem
to ask a personal question,
but have you ever thought
of going to work?
Work? Certainly not.
What am I trained to work at?
I can't even press
a pair of pants.
Nope, the only job for me
is to marry somebody with money.
Why, you-
Did I say something?
No, I just found
something out.
What?
We're exactly alike.
Oh, no, your hair is much prettier.
We're both trying
to marry for money.
Is that what you want to do?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, you're too nice for that.
Well, I don't want
to spend the rest of my life
working in a barbershop.
Yeah, but to deliberately
marry somebody for money,
that's no good.
Well, what are you doing?
Well, it's different for me.
I'm a heel.
Well, did I ever say
I wasn't one?
Oh. Oh, both members
of the same club, huh?
Well, how do you do?
And now, what
are your plans?
Well, the first thing
I'm gonna do is stop eating
these chocolate-covered mothballs.
And the second,
I'm gonna make you a proposition.
What?
How would you like
to take in a boarder?
I mean,just till my boat
gets back from Bermuda.
- Oh, I couldn't do that.
- Why not?
You got me into this trouble.
It's only fair that you help me get out.
Turn around.
Well, I'm not
that unconventional.
Oh, don't be old-fashioned.
What are conventions anyway?
Just a bunch of salesmen
sitting around telling stories.
It wouldn't look right.
I'm practically married.
I'll be no trouble.
I'll mind the baby.
I'll put out the cat.
No, on second thought,
you'd better put out the cat.
You can turn around now.
Be a good sport and help a fellow out.
I really can't go back
to old man Snowden's.
He don't like people
who miss boats.
Well, I-
What's that?
Some more mints?
Why don't you have somebody call on you
with a chicken sandwich?
I don't know who it is.
Oh, hello.
Hello.
Hello.
We just, uh- Oh.
Oh, Ted, this is
Nona and Pinky Kelly.
Theodore Drew.
How do you do?
Hello.
Hello.
We thought you might want
to go to a picture show.
There's a swell one
at the Band Box Theater.
A horse picture.
Yeah?
Well, isn't that funny?
I was just saying to Regi,
how about getting Nona and Pinky
and running down to see a movie.
Wasn't I, dear?
Come on, dear, put on your hat.
Oh, that's ridiculous.
You couldn't be saying that.
You don't know us. Or do you?
Oh, don't mind him.
Say, Pinky, old boy,
how about stopping
for a bite to eat?
Certainly.
Well, all right.
But just this once.
Next time it's my treat.
Come on, dear.
Well, well-
Well-
Come on, come on!
How do you know
he's there?
Because he's supposed to be in Bermuda.
I'll answer it, Whitey.
Never mind.
Hello, please?
Hello? Isn't this
University 42259?
Uh, yes, but Miss Regi are
not being at home, please.
Coming again, please?
Oh, this is Miss Regi's Japanese boy.
Well, isn't that just dandy?
And when did Miss Allen
get a Japanese boy?
Uh, she winning him
last evening in
a very fine crap game.
He said
I won him yesterday
in a crap game.
Well, Togo, how
are you getting along
with your lunch?
Oh, lunch advancing
very rapidly, please.
Say, how long did you say
to boil those lamb chops? They've been in
a half hour and haven't stiffened up yet.
I didn't say "boil."
I said "broil"!
Oh, is that what you said?
I thought th-that
it was something I did.
No, I'm not having eggplant.
I couldn't get it open.
You'll have to come home
and show me where the zipper is.
Okay, I-I'll see you later.
You come here, please.
Give me my umbrella
so I no get wet.
Now, now. Now, now.
Here I am. Come. Come.
Hey, Regi!
Come on. Run!
Oh-
You can't say I don't
think of you every minute.
I've been sitting here for
two hours reserving this cab.
Have you?
I'll say you have.
Aren't you going to say
it was nice of me?
It was lovely of you.
But taking taxis when you haven't
any money is a little foolish.
Foolish? I couldn't
come out in this pouring rain
and get my only suit all wet.
Where's your overcoat?
Oh, spending a little time
in the pawnshop.
Well, why did ya
pawn your overcoat?
Well, to pay for the taxi,
of course. Dope.
What's all this?
Food.
Well, why did you
get so much for?
You know, there's only
two of us. We could've
cooked some eggs at home.
That's all well enough for you
down in your cool barbershop,
but I've been slaving
over a hot stove all day.
I'd like a meal
I don't have to cook for a change.
Those lamb chops weren't so hot.
Want some?
Shall I answer that?
No, thanks. I'll go.
Miss Allen?
Yes.
Flowers for you.
Oh, thanks.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Oh!
Ah, spring has come
to 120th Street.
- Oh, they're from Allen.
- Who's he?
He's my best friend.
Oh.
Oh, they're lovely.
What are they,
geraniums?
They're daffodils.
He says they make him think of me.
I always thought
your big idea was the man
you'd remind of orchids.
At least I don't remind
people of pineapples.
Ouch.
You had that coming to you.
Your best friend,
uh, is he rich?
Sure.
Well, that's fine.
Fits right in with
your plans, doesn't it?
I haven't any plans.
But your plans
about marrying for money
haven't changed, have they?
Certainly not.
Have yours?
No. Once a heel,
always a heel.
That's our slogan.
You know,
they are kind of like you at that-
tall and blonde.
Holy smoke!
I'm in Bermuda.
Good. I'm in Greenland.
No, don't be superficial.
This is serious.
I'm supposed to be in Bermuda,
and Vivien might telephone.
What'll I do?
Telephone her first.
From New York?
Don't tell her it's from New York.
Tell her it's from Bermuda.
I shall make you
general of all my armies
for that suggestion.
Only you're gonna
tell her I'm gonna
call from Bermuda.
Oh, no, I'm not!
No, come on. You're
gonna be the operator.
Come on.Just this once.
Oh!
Well, what's her number?
Snowden 82793.
Yes?
Yes, this is
the Snowden residence.
Oh, very well.
Bermuda calling Miss Vivien.
Just a moment, please.
Hello?
Hello? Hello, Miss Snowden?
Bermuda calling. Are you ready?
This is Miss Snowden.
Yes, I'm ready.
Well, go ahead with Bermuda.
Hello, Vivien?
Can you hear me?
C- Can you hear me, Vivien?
Hello, Ted. Yes, I can hear
you perfectly. How are you?
And when are you coming back?
Oh, I'm fine, Vivien.
Eh, I'll be back-
Hello? Hello,
Snowden 82793?
Miss Vivien Snowden,
Bermuda calling. Hello?
Hello? Hello, go ahead.
Go ahead with Bermuda-
Operator, I've got Bermuda.
Will you please get off the line?
Hello, hello, Ted?
Can you hear me?
Y- Yes, Vivien,
I can hear you.
Hello? Bermuda.
Oh, operator, I've got Bermuda.
Please get off the wire.
Hello? Hello, Ted?
Can you hear me, Vivien?
- What'd you say, Ted?
- Hello?
Uh, what?
I can't hear you, Vivien.
Can you-
Hello, Miss Snowden. Do you
want the charges reversed?
Oh, operator, go away!
Hello, Miss Snowden?
Bermuda calling-
Oh! I can't stand this.
Hello, Ted? Ted?
Hello? Hello?
Boy, is she mad!
I love my daffodil too!
Hello. Get me the
Bermuda operator, please.
Oh, my jaws hurt.
Yes?
No call from Bermuda?
Why, that's-
From New York?
Are you sure?
Well, thank you.
Oh, wise guy, huh?
What was that?
What's the matter?
Oh, everything's all right.
Hey, Regi,you got
some iodine?
Why? What's the matter?
There's been an accident.
Is there a doctor in the house?
Oh!
Just a minute.
Are you hurt?
Hurt, sire? I'm dead.
What in the world
happened?
I fell off the couch.
Aw, you did?
Oh-ho-ho! Whoa!
It doesn't hurt.
It burns.
I'd fall off every night,
but you'd never hear me.
Do you dream?
No.
You should. You'd meet
a better class of people.
I can't sleep
on a narrow bed.
Aw, you can't?
When I was home, I used to
sleep on a big, double bed.
Well, what would you suggest?
Well, I could suggest something, but-
Well, you won't get mad now, will ya?
- Well, what is it?
- Well-
Will ya tuck me in?
Well, if I wanna get my sleep,
I guess I'd better.
Lie down.
Come on. Lie down.
What's the chair for?
To keep you
from falling out.
You're almost as good at this
as my mother was.
Was there anything else
your mother did?
Mm-hmm.
Before she turned out the lights,
she always used to kiss me good night.
I'm only almost
as good as your mother was.
It's almost five years since
we were on the yacht, sir.
The captain is delighted
you're taking her out again.
You and the captain
shouldn't jump to conclusions, Peter.
I'm not even sure
we are taking it out again.
Wheel me out on the terrace.
I'd like to think it over.
And, of course,
there's always Venice.
I'm sure she'd like Venice.
She's a lovely girl,
Peter.
She is, sir.
She'd make a lovely wife.
She would, sir.
It's only fair to tell you,
Peter, my mind's made up.
Tomorrow I'm going to ask her.
In the morning,
telephone the jeweler and have him
bring all his engagement rings.
Yes, and his wedding rings too.
She might be willing to choose one.
Of course, sir.
It's a fine night, sir.
The morning after
Will you still recall
the thrill we feel
You must have a lot of friends
that could give you a job.
That'd be a fine friend
who'd give you a job.
No friend of mine had better
try anything like that on me.
Hmph.
What's the matter?
You and your ideas.
You wouldn't give an inch,
would you?
Nope. Would you?
Would you?
No. I wouldn't
give an inch.
Okay, then, let's talk
about something else.
All right. What?
Oh, the stars up there,
for instance.
Boy, those really are stars,
aren't they?
Mm, yes, they are.
I've never seen 'em
so close before.
Maybe they never have been.
Have they, Regi?
Not to me.
Oh!
Oh, now, who's that?
Oh, I forgot.
I have a surprise for you.
Oh, stay here, Regi.
That's the nicest present
I could have.
Uh, good evenin',
Miss Regi.
Hello.
I- I sure had a time
gettin' this thing up here.
Eh, Miss Laura,
uh, she said it's gotta
be back in the mornin'.
All right, Snowflake.
Pick it up on your way
to work tomorrow.
Yes'm.
Oh, wait a minute!
There.
Thank you, ma'am,
Miss Regi.
Oh, that's all right.
Thank you, ma'am.
Thank you, ma'am.
- Hey, what's that thing? A lighthouse?
- No.
- Take your shirt off.
You've got to get sunburned.
- Who me?
Well, who went
to Bermuda? Me?
Aw!
What do I have to do that for?
So you won't go back
looking like a ghost.
That's nice talk.
Take your shirt off.
I'm tired. I want to get to bed.
Is it gonna hurt?
It'll probably skin you.
Well, you have to know how
to operate those machines.
There's nothing to it.
They told me at the shop
50 minutes on each side.
Fifty minutes?
Or was it 15?
Slight difference of 35 minutes
naturally wouldn't make
any difference to you, would it?
Well,just stay under it
until you're done.
No. Nothin' doin'.
Are you gonna get undressed,
or do I have to undress you?
All right. All right.
Come on! I've never
seen anything like it.
Man always afraid
of getting hurt.
Well, come on. Come on.
This too?
Well, you can't sunburn
through that.
I could tell her I wore
a swimming shirt.
You fool.
Now get underneath it.
Now lie down.
I think that's close enough.
Oh, stop squawking.
There.
Get your feet up!
Is it warm?
Do you think
I'll burn or freckle?
I don't know your habits.
You should.
What time does your boat
get in tomorrow?
I don't know.
Don't you think you'd better
do something about looking it up?
Where's the paper?
Oh, Whitey's sitting on it.
That shows you what he thinks
about the whole business.
He's always been
something of a critic.
Excuse me, dear.
I wanna look up
the shipping news.
Hey, don't you think
I've had enough of this sun?
After all, I'm just supposed
to be a visitor in Bermuda,
not a native West Indian.
Would you
like a drink of water?
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Please.
Turn over.
Thanks. You know, you'll
make some guy a darn good wife.
It's funny how
people thought we were married.
Yeah. Funny, isn't it?
Well, I don't know.
It isn't so funny at that.
I've heard of funnier things.
I'll bet we'd make a nice couple.
Have you forgotten we're heels?
You haven't lost sight
of your plans, have you?
Have you?
Certainly not.
Well, neither have I.
What's the idea
of playing blind man's bluff
this time of the night?
So you won't
hurt your eyes.
Oh.
Well, we've had a lot of laughs,
haven't we, Regi?
Yeah, we've had
a lotta laughs.
I've never had
so much fun in my whole life.
You remember that first night?
When I had the hiccups?
When we had
the hiccups,you mean.
Yeah, there'll be a lot of things
I'll remember.
You've had enough, Ted,
and I'm tired anyway.
Don't go yet, Regi.
This is all the time
we'll have together.
Yes, I know,
but I have to work
in the morning.
Would you
bring the things in
from the outside?
Yeah.
Regi.
- What is it?
- Aren't you gonna tuck me in?
Regi?
This is the last time
you'll do this.
Just this once, Regi,
for going away?
Good night.
Thanks.
Don't mention it.
Good night.
Regi.
Regi.
Yes?
Will you come out?
I wanna talk to you.
No, not tonight.
I'm very sleepy.
But this is our last night.
Yes, I know.
Please come out.
I won't sleep if you don't.
Of course you will.
Please.
There's the light.
You've got to get to bed.
You've got to get up early.
Well... good night.
Good night.
I didn't know
you were out here.
I- I wasn't
sleeping very much.
Neither was I.
I've been awake all night.
I know.
It's swell out here, isn't it?
Yes, lovely.
We can't.
Why not?
Oh, there's a hundred-million miles
between us.
It doesn't seem
that far.
We're not for each other.
I think we are.
In six months you'd hate me,
or have to.
No, I wouldn't.
I know better.
You'd have to scratch for a living
in a world you know nothing about.
Isn't that what
you're doing?
I'm used to it.
I could get used to it.
It's too late. You couldn't
fit yourself to being poor.
Other people have done it.
Yes, and there's
no greater tragedy.
With you it would be
a thousand times worse.
You'd always know
you could've been rich again
if you hadn't been foolish.
You'd be thinking
about that all the time.
You couldn't help it.
Marry the rich one, kid.
Believe me, if I were you,
that's what I'd do.
Good night.
Good night.
Oh, you fool.
Oh, no, Whitey,
you can't go.
Ted.
Ted!
Morning, Miles.
Did I get you up?
Why, Mr. Drew!
We didn't expect you.
Did you get back
from Bermuda?
Don't I look it?
Tell Miss Vivien I'm here.
But Miss Vivien's
in New York, Mr. Drew.
In New York?
Yes, sir. Staying
at the Savoy-Cariton.
The Savoy-Cariton?
Yes, sir.
Well, why
the Savoy-Cariton?
Well, I don't know, sir.
She didn't say.
But I suppose
she had some reason.
Well, thanks, Miles.
That's where I go, then.
Keep out of drafts,
won't you?
Yes. Thank you, sir.
Oh, Mr. Drew!
The next train isn't
until quarter of 9:00.
Thanks, Miles.
And now, uh,
this model, Miss Snowden,
I particularly prize.
Isn't that stunning?
That would be terrific
on my camel trip to the pyramids.
Miss Snowden.
Yes?
The manicurist
will be right up.
Uh, I'll see the rest
in just a moment.
Yes, Miss Snowden.
Did you get the one
I asked for?
Yes, Miss Snowden.
And are you sure you
didn't mention my name?
No, Miss Snowden.
Just the number
of the apartment.
You sent for
a manicurist?
Yes, please.
In here, please.
The manicurist, mademoiselle.
Yes. Yes, of course.
Are you ready?
Yes, I'm ready.
Will you fill this
with warm water,
please? Thanks.
Uh, I hope you'll forgive this mess,
but I've been inspecting my trousseau.
Oh, that's all right.
Any shorter?
No.
Your name is Regi Allen,
isn't it?
Yes.
When you called downstairs for me,
I thought I must've
done your nails before.
No. The manager
said you were the best,
and that's how I happened to-
That's nice of him.
Thank you.
Will you tell me something
about your profession?
Why is it that all men
attempt to dine with manicurists
the minute they sit down?
Is it because they are
holding hands, more or less?
I think that's
a little exaggerated.
Not from what I hear.
Every man I know who has
an evening on his hands says,
"I think I'll get a manicure."
Oh, he does?
Well, I don't think
he always succeeds.
Oh, I see.
You're an exception.
That's why you only dine with men like,
uh, Theodore Drew III, for instance.
You don't want a manicure,
Miss Snowden.
No.
I only wanted to see what you were like,
and that didn't take very long.
When Ted telephoned from New York
and said he was in Bermuda,
I engaged detectives to find out
what part of New York.
Can I say something?
Quite unnecessary.
Well, there's nothing
between Ted and me.
I said you didn't have to explain.
I know all about what happened
between you and Ted.
My purpose in seeing you
was to see if you were different
than an ordinary manicurist.
Now that I've met you,
my dear Miss Allen,
my fears are quite groundless.
Are you through?
There's one thing
I think we haven't covered.
Mr. Drew, as you probably know,
is not overly wealthy at the moment.
I think it's only fair
that you should be paid.
You'd better be careful,
Miss Snowden.
That you should be paid
for a week's manicuring.
If you'll find me my purse-
I wouldn't for the world
want you wasting your time.
Mr. Drew will find your purse.
There's no charge.
I'm quite accustomed
to wasting my time on people.
What time is it, Peter?
Nearly 12:00, sir.
Got the champagne ready?
Yes, sir.
You think she'll like it,
Peter?
Oh, she couldn't
help it, sir.
Oh, you're so late
this morning, miss.
Mr. Macklyn has been-
Yes, I know.
I was polishing up a bride.
Can I see Mr. Macklyn?
Oh, yes, miss.
He's waiting for you
impatiently.
Well, at last.
What a day to be late.
Oh!
What is it, Regi?
Don't talk yet.
That's right, dear.
Have it out.
Oh, Allen, y-you don't know.
Come, come now.
It's not as bad as that.
Yes, it is.
It's terrible.
Can't you tell me
about it, Regi?
Oh, it's Ted.
He's gone back to that other girl.
Oh!
So you did let yourself
fall in love with him.
Yes! Hard-boiled Hannah
was gonna fall in love with a bankroll.
I'm sorry, Regi.
Well, don't be sorry for me.
It serves me right!
Serves me right for going back
on everything I believed.
Oh, I should've run like mad
when I saw what was happening.
But not me, no! I jump at it.
I wanna get bitten. Well, I got it.
You can't run away
from love, Regi.
It just comes.
I know how ya feel.
Come now. Come on.
Come on. Stop crying.
I won't!
I'll cry if I want to.
I've got a good cry
coming to me!
All right. All right.
Perhaps you'd better
have some music with it.
It's much more effective
with music.
No, it isn't! I know!
I don't want that!
Hello, Celeste.
Hello, Monsieur Drew.
Vous etes amuse a Bermuda?
Oh, comme ci, comme ca.
Is, uh, she in there?
Hi.
Hi, Ted.
How are ya?
Oh, I'm fine.
And so are you.
There's nothing quite
like a trip to Bermuda.
No, indeed.
But that depends.
What depends?
On if you go to Bermuda.
This time I didn't go.
Where have you been?
Downstairs.
Is that where you met her?
Yeah, that's just
where I met her, but-
When you called from Bermuda
the wires were crossed,
and I took it upon myself
to get them connected again.
I know her.
And I know this too-
I'll take you back again.
I'm afraid it's a little late.
Once I was
a very interesting young fellow
made-to-order for you.
I was the enemy of the ordinary.
But do you know
what's on my mind right now?
No.
I'm wondering where
I can get a job.
What can you do?
Early this morning
I bumped into the milkman,
and I says, says I,
"That man had better be moving,
or I'll take away his bottles and show him
how milk should really be sold."
No kidding. I don't care what it is.
I wanna sell something.
I'm in the subway now,
and I don't think you'd like me anymore.
Wouldn't I?
What do you suggest
doing about it?
Ask you to release me
from our engagement.
Why should I?
We entered this agreement
with our eyes open.
I know, and I know how I must look to you,
but it's better it happen now than later.
Well, that's
a small silver lining.
Oh, Ted, grow up!
I thought I was in love once
myself-with a policeman
on a horse in Central Park.
But I know I'm in love...
with a manicurist
in a barbershop.
How can you marry her?
How can you live
without money?
I'll earn it.
That's what I should've
been doing long ago.
Good heavens. You really
do mean it, don't you?
It's probably the only thing
I've ever meant in my life.
Won't last six months.
I'll take a chance on that.
You certainly will.
I hope you're very happy
on the Milky Way.
Can't do any more
than drown me.
Then all I can say is
good-bye, Ted.
Good-bye, and thanks.
Feel better?
Mm-hmm.
Some champagne?
No. I don't want any.
Strange.
In moments like these,
most people do.
You're playing havoc
with tradition.
Well, then,
go and wash your funny face.
And later on,
I may have a proposition
to make to you.
Something
I've been thinking about
quite a lot lately.
Well, what is it?
Mm-mm. Not now. Later.
I want to wait until
you're all calmed down.
All right.
You know,
my hair must look like
a busted bale of hay.
Oh!
Bye now.
Oh-Ah!
Nona, where's Regi?
Oh, hello, Ted.
She's upstairs.
She's not with Miss Snowden.
I don't know, then,
unless she's with Mr. Macklyn.
Macklyn?
Where's he?
Yes. 1502.
Why don't you
go up after her?
I'm practically there.
Oh, dear! He frightened me.
You know, he's a boyfriend
of a girlfriend of mine.
Yes.
Oh, dear.
You'll pardon me,
won't you?
Certainly.
Peter!
I'm sorry for busting in.
I knocked and nobody answered.
I'm in a hurry.
Won't you come in?
Oh, thanks.
That'll be all, Peter.
Uh, is she here?
She? Who?
Regi Allen.
The girl who came up
to give you a manicure.
Yes. Surely there
must be another manicurist
in the barbershop.
Oh, I don't want a manicure.
I want to get married.
Married?
Yes.
You don't mind if I
ask her to marry me
on your time, do you?
Oh, I'm sorry.
You must think I'm nuts.
My name is Theodore Drew.
Yes, I rather thought so.
Did she tell you
about me?
Yes.
Won't you sit down?
Yeah, thanks.
Everything was mixed up,
but it's straightened out now.
You don't mind if I use your rooms
as a bench in the park,
just to propose in?
We can go outside
for the kissing part.
- That's quite all right.
- I'm a little nervous.
You should be.
Maybe you need a drink.
Yeah, maybe I do.
Maybe we both
need a drink.
That's an idea.
Do you mind?
No, I'd be glad to.
I don't know of two people
who have a better right
to have a drink.
Think she'll
be glad to see me?
I doubt it.
She's through with you.
Through with me!
She can't be through with me.
You know what she's done?
She's wrecked my life.
She's got me thinking of
looking for a job.
Does she know that?
No, but she's
gonna find out.
I'm afraid you're too late.
She thinks you want to be a gigolo.
A gigolo!
Is that what she thinks of me?
Fine opinion she's got of me.
Uh, how about my drink?
Oh, I'm sorry.
Women are nuts anyway.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
That's enough.
When a man's
in love with a woman,
he shouldn't keep it a secret.
A secret? I've done
everything but broadcast it.
Do you want some fizz?
No, thanks.
Everybody in the hotel
knows it.
Except Regi.
Well, can I help it
if love's blind?
Women like to be
swept off their feet.
Well, that's what
I'm here for.
Well, then take my advice,
and don't do it with a feather duster.
Good luck.
Thanks.
- Oh! So I'm a gigolo, am I?
- What are you doing here?
What do you mean
by telling people
I don't wanna go to work?
You wouldn't take a job
if it was thrown in your lap.
Is that so!
Go back to your pineapple queen.
She's not my pineapple queen.
I gave her back to the Hawaiians.
What's the matter?
Find somebody with
more pineapples?
No. I found somebody
I shouldn't waste my time on.
But like an imbecile,
I fell in love with her.
Love? Ha-ha!
The only one you're
in love with is yourself!.
Is that so?
Yes, I fell in love!
I hope you eat so many
pineapples you get sick!
I never thought I'd
fall for the racket-
Shut up!
What do you think my apartment is,
Madison Square Garden?
Go someplace else and do your battling.
What do you mean by coming up
in this gentleman's apartment
and making all this noise?
All right. Let's go someplace
where we can argue
like gentlemen!
Let go of my wrist!
Ouch!
Come on!
Allen!
Allen, save me! Ow!
Sir, you can't possibly
stand all this.
It's all right, Peter.
Allen!
Oh, Allen, you're so right.
It is love that counts.
Good-bye.
See you soon.
Oh, but, sir, please-
Uh-
I, uh, forgot my hat.
Good-bye, Mr. Macklyn.
Thanks a lot.
But what are we doing here?
We're going to lunch. I know the place
where they have the swellest goulash.
We haven't time.
We have too many things to do.
We've got to get the license,
you've gotta see about your job
and we've gotta get married.
You don't expect me to get married
on an empty stomach, do ya?
Well, I'm not going all over town
looking for goulash.
Okay, we'll flip for it.
Heads, we get married,
and tails, we go to lunch.
You got a coin?
Yes, I think so.
If it stands on edge,
I'll look for a job.
You flip it.
Ohh! Stop the bus!
Ring the bell.
Oh! Stop the bus!
Stop the bus!
Well, what is it? What is it?
W- Well, what is it?
Oh.
Well, I guess
we look for a job.
Hey, lay off
of that, will ya?