Hank Zipzer's Christmas Catastrophe (2016) Movie Script
1
This is now officially the
worst Christmas ever.
Yeah, as disasters go...
this is my biggest one yet.
Let's go back 2 weeks before I
ruined Christmas.
Don't even think about that
until after breakfast.
Oh I was just checking there
was one in there for later.
Two weeks to go and he's on
the 99th growth percentile.
Keep up the good work!
No, No don't listen
to your sister.
You are a good size,
don't get any bigger.
Studies show babies
with larger heads
can grow up to have higher IQs.
Please, don't be a
geek like Emily.
Be a normal person like me.
Dad, the cradle is now...
Five days behind schedule.
Mum and Dad let her write
a Pregnancy Timetable
to help them keep on track.
Boy are they regretting
that decision.
I will do it today.
Maybe we should
have penalty points
for not sticking
to the timetable.
Excellent idea.
We can start with
ten points off you
for crossing out your visit to
the maternity ward tomorrow.
Oh not so cocky now, are we?
I told you - I'm
having a home birth.
But what if there's a
complication?
Hospitals have
machines and doctors
and at your age you
might need them.
My age?!
Red alert! Take cover!
Hospitals are sterilised
safe environments
where less can go wrong.
Oh really?
It's a baby boy!
We're calling him Hank.
They let me off 'cos
I was a baby.
Next time they weren't
quite so understanding.
Hank come say hello
to your baby sister Emily!
Hank?
Weeeeeeee!
No hospital.
I want less equipment around.
Right erm, where are
the gherkins?
I need some gherkins.
Here you go my
love, don't panic.
Mum gets these weird cravings.
Mangoes, mushy peas, fish skin!
Right now it's gherkins.
Can't get enough of them.
She loves the mini ones from
Papa Pete's deli.
Nothing but the best
for my angel!
I've hung my stocking,
made my list
Hoping Santa
hears my wish...
Who's he into now?
Hayden Chase -
she's basically a
hairspray that can sing.
Far from the one I love
All I need to make you cry,
is to see your face tonight.
Fires warm but I feel cold
Without your
hand to hold.
Won't you grant
my wish tonight
Come on home this
Christmas time.
She's doing a video in London.
Maybe she'll hire me
as a backing dancer?
Sorry!
'Rudolph the Rock
'n' Roll Reindeer'.
Great title Mister Rock!
Thank you you've gotta
have a great title,
if you're gonna have
a great musical.
Did you ever hear of
"Earwax: The Musical"?
Did you ever hear
"Toehair" the musical?
No.
That's right. That's
why the three of you
have to be at the audition.
- Yes sir!
- You bet!
Alright, you're gonna be
fantastic, all three.
Even me?
Especially you. now get out of
here, get to class.
I love school at Christmas.
No proper lessons, loads
of messing about,
it's brilliant.
What on earth, do you
think you are doing?
I know that you're not
a fan of my work
but I think even you will be
up on your cloven hooves
and dance to this one.
I'm not talking about this.
I'm talking about THAT!
Oh isn't that great?
Feel the energy!
It's like when we
opened for the Beatles
at Shea stadium!
Rock and Roll Miss A!
How you ever became a
teacher is a mystery to me.
You know what! Me too!
Ahem!
You know I've got the
perfect part for you
in this musical.
Yeah Grizella, the
evil snow witch.
Everything you look
at turns to ice.
See what I mean?
You're perfect!
STOP EVERYTHING!
I've just been informed
we're having...
A surprise school inspection.
They're due within the hour!
Okay just stay Calm.
Stay calm! Stay calm!
Oh this really is most tiresome.
We've only just
had an inspection.
That was before the incident
with the runaway lawn mower.
And the exploding custard.
Awkward!
You know what,
there not coming -
They can't come it's Christmas!
Christmas is cancelled!
I must be having a nightmare.
Sorry sorry!
Seriously?!
Shh!
I'm here to help you
with the cradle.
How did you know
it had collapsed?
Call it a lucky guess.
Well I, I, I'm doing this alone.
It's a, it's a father-son
thing, you understand.
Of course.
I hand carved Rosa's cradle
from a solid block
of Sicilian oak.
It took me six months
and seventy-seven blisters.
Ahhh! I loved that cradle.
You're the best daddy...
Well here we go son,
one hand-assembled cradle
coming right up.
Go Dancer. Go Prancer.
Go Dancer. Go Vixen.
Go Comet. Go Cupid.
Go Donna. Go Pran...
What are you doing?
Mr. Joy has cancelled your
alleged "musical".
Oh no?! He didn't do that!
I work all year for this.
Auditions are today!
Not any more.
Well I'm gonna talk to him.
Well you can't!
He's preparing for the
school inspection,
as should you be.
We don't want one bad apple
spoiling the whole barrel.
Well let me tell you,
this apple doesn't care what
the inspectors think,
I only care that the
little apples
have a great Christmas.
Well what all the little appl-
Ahem...
pupils need is a
first-rate education,
not a second rate Santa.
Did you just say that to me?
Yes I did.
Camilla Stevens, Head inspector.
What a lovely building.
Jonathan Lao, trainee, this is
my first inspection.
Welcome to Westbrook.
What a pleasure having you here.
When I heard we was having
a surprise inspected
I was like... YES!
I love inspections!
Love 'em, love 'em, love 'em!
Christmas has come early.
Thank you Santa!
When you come down that chimney,
I'm gonna leave you something.
Well that makes a change.
A change.
Shall we begin?
Now. Can anyone tell me how
to separate substances
in a mixture?
What if they're friends?
What if they don't want
to be separated?
Miss. Can't we do something
more Christmassy
than chemistry?
Oooh we could do a secret Santa!
We all get surprise gifts!
Awesome! Now you're talking!
Christmas starts
on December 25th
and not a day sooner.
The different methods are -
filtration, evaporation,
distillation and chromatography.
Nick McKelty. A grade 'A'
student.
A grade 'A' pain.
Now this experiment might go
slightly over your heads
but it's always worth a try.
No! No! No! No! No! No!
Part of me knows this is
going to be really bad.
But part of me really
wants this to happen.
Here at Westbrook
we pride ourselves
on creating an atmosphere of
calm and serenity.
HENRY ZIPZER!
COME BACK HERE!
You were saying?
Saying? Is there
an echo in here?
Alright. What did
you do this time?
I threw a paper ball
at Miss Adolf.
Good one.
You?
Apparently I'm supposed to
have something called
a lesson plan.
I mean who knew,
how do you plan music.
- You can't.
- You see that's what I think.
I thought you just kind of
grabbed the guitar,
turn up the volume and
let the Reindeers Rock.
Well the music was so loud,
that the white board just
shattered off the wall.
That sounds awesome!
Yeah. Except Mr. Joy
thought it sounded like
'an orchestra trapped
inside a tumble dryer'.
ZIPZER!
Okay, listen, his bark is
worse than his bite.
But then, they said that
about my Grandma's dog
and he ate the mailmen.
You covered Miss Adolf
in green gunge?
It was more a sort of turquoise.
It's not funny, Hank.
Mr. Joy says this is
your final warning.
One more incident and
you'll get suspended.
Hank, you've got to stop
getting into trouble.
It was an accident.
Well it's always an
accident isn't it?
You need to grow up Hank.
We've only got room for
one baby in this flat.
Emily? What are you doing?!
I said I'd get the tree
when I'd finished
building the cradle.
Yeah, I thought it would be
nice to have one before Easter.
Emily, you don't
need to be cheeky,
your father's doing his best.
Oh thank you for the
vote of confidence.
So, who wants to
help me decorate it?
Me!
Remember what happened last time
you decorated the tree?
Sorry!
It was an accident...
Okay, well we can all
decorate the tree.
Come on everybody,
grab a bauble.
Best not, I'll only break it.
That's odd, my head feels breezy
Oh that is not good.
No brain. No brain. No brain.
As I always suspected Zipzer -
you're brainless!
Don't let me ever
go back to sleep.
Why don't you just
ask Dad to help
and be done with it?
And what?
Be reminded of my failure
every time I put this little
guy down to sleep?
Did he kick?
Yeah. He could kick for
Liverpool!
No Arsenal!
Dad always wanted me
to play football
but I was never any good.
Are you sure about having
a home birth?
Wouldn't you feel more
comfortable in hospital?
I didn't feel comfortable
with Hank
concussing two nurses?
No this time everything's
gonna be perfect.
Nothing is gonna go wrong.
I can't wait to meet him.
Me too,
I've got a good
feeling about this one.
I think he's gonna be a genius.
Maybe he could help me
put this cradle together.
He's going to do
something amazing.
Just you wait and see.
What they really mean is -
they hope he doesn't
turn out like me.
Hayden Jason's gone number one
in the download chart!
Oh! She's spreading
like a virus.
I have to find a cure.
Have you seen the inspectors?
They were heading for
Mr. Rock's classroom.
One can only hope they've
brought protective headgear.
Just once I want to
hear Santa say...
Go Rudolph, tonight you
can guide the sleigh.
And then the other
reindeers get lost
and Rudolph has to save the day.
That sounds wonderful.
Wonderful.
You know the beauty
of music lies
in the ear of the beholder.
And you two have exquisite ears!
This is exactly the sort of
imaginative approach
that we're looking for.
I can't wait to see it.
You, you know, neither can I.
But the musicals been cancelled.
Cancelled?! Cancelled?!
Mr. Rock's musical is the
highlight of the year!
The staff and pupils
absolutely love it.
It's something that would
never be cancelled.
Ever.
Must have been an admin
error, or something.
You, you know how
wonderful this man is?
He said you all get more money
for costumes this year.
I did?
You did
I did. I did.
And then he went on and
said a new lighting rig.
How generous is that.
That was unexpected but
if that's what it takes
to get this show on the
road, then we must do it.
Oh my goodness.
And then this Headmaster
of Headmasters.
He said the entire orchestra
gets a new instrument
AND a confetti canon
for the finale.
I just get carried away.
It's great to see a Headmaster
supporting the creative arts.
And this show is the
perfect opportunity
to see what Westbrook can do.
Westbrook can do.
With all this new
equipment this better be
the greatest Christmas musical
the world has ever seen!
Rock on!
Oh rock on.
Hey look! The show's back on!
Awesome!
I think I'm gonna give the
auditions a miss.
C'mon Hankster, you're
amazing on stage.
You have to audition.
Roll up folks!
Come and see the
greatest show on earth!
Rudolph the
Rock 'n' Roll Reindeer
starring the one and only...
Hank Zipzer!
Yeah... maybe...
Yeah, you're totally right!
This could be my
chance to make Mum and Dad
proud of me!
Another day and still no cradle.
I'll just make a note of that.
Go Dancer! Go Prancer!
Go Dasher! Go Vixen!
Go Comet! Go Cupid!
Go Donner! Go Blitzen!
I can't wait for
these auditions!
Has anyone seen my gherkins?
By the sink.
Enough nonsense about cradle.
Where are we going to
put the birthing pool?
We're out of gherkins!
It's the vitamin K
your body's craving.
Have some broccoli instead.
I don't want broccoli!
I WANT GHERKINS!
No-one make any
sudden movements.
I can trot to the deli
and get you a jar?
Reindeers do trot, right?
If you would do that,
you would officially
be my favourite child.
I can report you
for saying that.
Go straight to the
deli, no dawdling,
no stopping to, to, to
look at amusing pigeons.
This is an emergency!
Run like the wind!
There only gherkins Dad,
I can do this.
I'm not completely useless.
That was Rudolph, not me!
Sorry son, you'll have to wait.
Please! It's an emergency!
My mum needs gherkins!
Ah! That's
not an emergency.
You've never seen her in
a gherkin rage.
What are they doing, anyway?
Don't wanna
be a flower girl.
A pretty thing for
you to twirl.
Summers gone
you'll dump me fast
I wanna love that's
gonna last all year.
Do you love me,
or love me not.
Were going cold
or getting hot.
CUT!
Please, Ms. Harris,
all these interruptions
are making
it very difficult to...
Not that it's a problem,
of course.
Good. 'Cos if it was,
we'd be looking for a new
director.
Can I just do this in a coat?
And cover up that knock-out
dress, Hayden honey?
You can't sell this song
without a bit of sizzle, sugar.
And you are looking
smoking hot, girl.
Then why do I have goosebumps?
'Cos you're excited about
being in London?
Oh come on couple more weeks,
we'll be in Tokyo.
They say it's beautiful at
Christmas.
Nothing is the same as
Christmas at home
and I always spend it with my
Mom and Dad.
Sorry, darlin'.
Sometimes you want the rainbow,
you gotta put up with the rain.
Ow! My eyes!
This stuff'll really
make them pop.
Hhum!
Not to rush you but the flowers
are starting to wilt.
And they're not the only ones.
You wanna see your folks -
they're right down that lens.
Then you make 'em
proud of their little girl.
Okay, alright, well,
well from the top!
And action!
Don't wanna be
a flower girl.
A pretty thing
for you to twirl.
Summers gone you'll
dump me fast
I wanna love that's
gonna last all year.
Hey you!
CUT!
Are you people incapable of
doing anything right?!
Do you KNOW how much
this girl is worth?
You okay honey?
Security!
That's lunch!
Ahah! No way!
We've gotta keep shooting -
we got places to go,
people to see.
I don't mind if we
break for lunch.
I mind!
Time is money honey and
I'm not gonna let
this bunch of clowns
ruin my rodeo.
You're fired!
Don't you walk away from me now!
You're fired! You're
definitely fired!
You are fired!!
Fired! Fired! Fired!
You. You're definitely fired.
Come on. Who wants some?
Who wants some?
You're fired?!
That's Hayden Chase!
Frankie is gonna be so jealous.
Woah! You're...
I know who you are.
You know who you are.
I mean, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I messed
up your video.
No it's fine.
You got me a lunch break,
I owe you. Big time.
Who is that?
Tammy Harris. My manager.
Is she always that angry?
She's just...
kinda protective.
He can't have just disappeared
like a catfish up a creek!
YOU. You're unfired! Find him!
I should probably
give myself up.
No trust me, you do
not wanna do that.
Follow me...
I hate my hair like this.
Looks good to me.
But I'm probably the wrong
person to ask.
I like your hair,
maybe that should
be my new look.
It's easy to do -
you just wake up in the
morning and you're good to go.
Bed hair!
I love it!
Stop! Stop!!!!
He'll be half way to
Hawaii by now.
Come on Y'all get back to work
or you'll get my rhinestone
boot up your behinds!
Oh hello there Mister Takahashi.
Oh really, oh well,
I mean what is the
weather like over there.
Okay, I think you can relax now.
Can I take one of
these for a friend?
He's a huge fan.
And would this friend
happen to be yay high,
with cute messy hair?
No Frankie's hair
is always perfect.
He spends hours on it.
Oh. I just thought...
Oh right... doesn't matter.
Yeah I'll write him a message.
So you don't like my music?
No, no -
I mean yes, yes I
like it, I love it.
Erm... It's good. So...
musical?
Right.
So what's your favourite song
off my new album?
The, the new album?
I err, well...
You know it's so hard
to pick a favourite -
when they're all so amazing.
I promise I'll download it as
soon as I get home.
It's okay. I'll give you
a free download link.
If you don't like it
you can delete it.
Thanks!
Alright.
Call me and let me
know what you think.
Cos I could really do with
some honest feedback.
Tickles.
Oh you flatter
me Mr. Takahashi.
Sayonara!
Guess who's sold out in Tokyo!
You are on a roll, girl.
I am never washing
this hand, again.
Gherkins!
Where are all the gherkins?!
Sorry Hank, just sold out.
NO!
I knew I should have
got here sooner.
Mum's gonna kill me.
Then you better come up
with a good excuse.
I bumped into a mega star:
Hayden Chase.
Not bad but the name
needs some work.
She's real!
Of course she is.
Papa Pete, I know how to
get Mum some gherkins!
Papa Pete - where d'you
keep the vinegar?
You made these?!
Yeah step away from
the jar, Rosa!
They don't even look
like gherkins.
I can't! I'm going in.
I couldn't find any gherkins.
They only had chilies.
Hum! Delicious!
Oh! Oh!
I'll get you some water.
I told you not to dawdle!
I didn't! I bumped
into Hayden Chase.
First rule of lying:
at least make it
slightly believable.
I'm not lying!
Look - she gave me her number!
And she gave me a signed
photo for Frankie!
Oh, you really did meet her!
'Merry Crismus Frankie'.
There's only one person I know
who spells Christmas,
C.R.I.S.M.U.S
That's weird.
Hum! Yep you
bought the photo
and signed it yourself
to get out of trouble...
Second rule of lying:
don't get caught red-handed.
They didn't believe me!
Nice try Hank but I'm not
falling for it either.
Hayden Chase doesn't
have dyslexia.
If she did it would be in
her autobiography.
She's written her life story?
She's only sixteen!
'Chasing Rainbows'.
I have it in hardback
and paperback.
You guys should read them.
I'd rather wax my eyeballs.
Well maybe she doesn't like
talking about her dyslexia?
It's not exactly something
you brag about.
You can keep on selling
but I'm not buying.
C'mon, we don't want
to be late for the
Christmas audition.
Why will no-one believe me!
Get your rear in gear girl!
The day don't wait
for no-one, darlin'.
Hey Bob...
can you help me with something?
Alright sweetie pie.
Just try a little louder.
This will be the
biggest disaster
since Henry Zipzer was allowed
in the school talent show.
Being able to fart the
national anthem
is not a talent!
Do you really want to
give the inspectors
front-row seats to a
Christmas catastrophe?!
I had no choice:
they want to see it.
Maybe it'll only be a
bit of a disaster.
Have you been eating tinsel?!
This is Mr. Rock
we're talking about.
Just once I want to
hear Santa say
I'm never going to top that.
Go Rudolph! Tonight you can
guide the sleigh!
I think you've found your
Rudolph Mr. Rock.
He's perfect.
Yeah, well no come on.
A little too perfect.
Remember before
Rudolf saves the day,
all the other reindeer
make fun of 'em.
NEXT!!
But we have our inspectors.
Too perfect sounds...
perfect to me.
There's no next.
Cast him, he's Rudolph!
Next!
I live in the Arctic but I've
never been cool
That's how Rudolph ended up
on Santa's naughty list.
Stop smiling.
Why are you smiling?
No smiling!
Not Zipzer. No way!
Now he is funny.
Funny.
He is my decision.
I got the part!!
Hello! Anybody home?
Emily is taking us to a class
on home births.
I didn't think you'd
want to come.
Dinners in the oven.
Try not to burn
the flat down, Hank.
I know how to use an oven Dad.
I think I'm gonna have
salad tonight.
I try hard but I'm
still afraid.
I'm never gonna
make the grade
You make it look so easy,
when I follow you.
I've got nothing to show.
The stars are
out of reach
Why do I try?
I wanna be like you..
I wish I was smarter.
I wish I was brave.
I wish I was all the
things you crave
Cos I don't ever
wanna let you down
Don't ever wanna
make you frown
No I just wanna
make you proud.
I try hard but
I'm still afraid.
I'm never gonna
make the grade.
This album is awesome.
I wish I could tell her...
Go Dancer. Go Prancer.
Here we go.
Alright, Listen Brass
your doing great,
a little less spit or
we're gonna have to
hand out umbrellas.
Bongo's are you with me?
Bongo's?
This noise is intolerable!
I mean I can hardly hear
myself teach!
I demand silence!
You demand silence!
You know what that's really
difficult
Because this is a musical,
IT'S GOTTA BE LOUD.
The noise levels are well over
the maximum level allowed in
the workplace.
A hundred and five decibels.
Were did you come from?
Comply with the regulations
or I will have this
production shut down!
Okay. Okay. You
know what I need?
I need some organization,
that's all.
Oh look at those spreadsheets.
They are so organised.
How would you like...
No, not doing it.
You'll of course you would get
extra marks
on your school report...
I'll take the job.
SILENCE!
Are you two related?
Can I see the
production timetable?
"Can I see the
production timetable?"
A timetable, of course you can.
As soon as you write them.
You can see them. Beautiful...
What an apple.
Okay here we go kids,
from the top!
The label wants new promo
shots for Tokyo.
They're picking you up in ten
minutes,
want to see you in this.
Do we have to do this right now?
Don't you give me the diva,
darlin'.
You want the folks at the label
thinking won't play ball?
Oh c'mon, put it on.
You'll look real cute!
Brett, how we looking
for Australia?
I want Sydney Opera House,
you know we can fill it.
This won't get me into
trouble now will it?
I won't tell if you don't.
I'm flying round the
world singing my song.
Spreading the joy and
righting the wrongs.
A Reindeer that rocks
is nothing to fear.
I light up the night
with joy and cheer.
I never get big for the
sleigh ride team.
Seeing the world is
forever my dream.
Go Dancer. Go Prancer.
Go Dasher.
Go Vixen. Go Comet.
Go Cupid.
Go Donna. Go Blitzen.
Just what I want to hear
Santa say,
Go Rudolf tonight you can
guide the sleigh!
This time it's you...
Rudolf's the name. Pulling
a sleigh is the game.
Oh, sorry. Wrong number.
Hayden?
Hank? Is that you?
Yeah!
I was just, erm, pretending
to be a reindeer.
Wow, I can't believe it's you!
You never called?
Did you hate the
album that much?
I loved it!
It's just I lost your number
in a gherkin related incident.
Okay. I guess you're forgiven.
Hayden get out here -
we got work to do!
Sorry I gotta go, Hank.
Tammy's hollering. Time to go
dress-up doll again.
Can't you get out of it?
Do something fun instead.
I wish.
Say that you've had an idea
for a hit song
Then sneak out when
she's not looking.
That could actually work.
Hank you're a genius.
People don't often call me that.
If I do escape I'll need
someone to hang out with.
So are you free tonight?
Hello? You still there?
Yeah. Yeah.
I was just erm,
checking my calendar...
I think I might have
a window free.
Great, Okay I'll text you
where to meet.
See you later Rudolph.
Yes, yes, yes, yes,
yes, yes, YES!!!!
No.
You've skated before, right?
No, but how hard can it be?
I don't have to do that
with my arm,
I just think it looks cool.
Don't worry; I got you.
I'm gonna have
a fun time tonight.
I'm not gonna let
anything ruin it.
How's it going in there, hon?
Sugar? You in there?
Will you stop being
so terrified,
this is supposed to be fun.
Have you seen how sharp
these skates are?
Alright look.
Whenever I get nervous
before I go on stage
I just imagine I'm
somewhere else -
like making pancakes
with my mom.
It relaxes me, you should
try it sometime.
Last time I made
pancakes with my mum
I set off every smoke
alarm for about a mile.
You don't like your family?
I love my family, it's just...
My sister wants me to be
put in a lab and tested.
My dad wishes I could
score the winning goal
at the world cup and my mum
still basically thinks I'm a
work in progress.
I'm kind of a disappointment.
I'm sure they love you really.
This Christmas
they're replacing me
with another boy.
No way!
Yeah, my mum's due any day now
and my baby brother's all
they can talk about.
Okay I thought you
were being serious.
I am!
I bet you they call him
"Hank Two Point Oh",
"New and Improved".
Okay then forget about your
home and think about
somewhere else that
makes you happy.
Where did you go?
The Spicy Salami,
the family deli.
With my granddad.
It's my favourite place.
Well it worked, you're skating!
That's amazing!
How did you do that?
Woah!
Hayden! I am so so sorry!
Are you okay?
Please be okay.
Skating is SO not your thing!
Ooh! Help me!
I'm Hank!
And I was really starting
to like you.
Hey, it's Hayden Chase!
Those are your fans?!
I thought they'd rip us apart.
Oh it's all part of the job,
I guess.
It was like one of
those wildlife shows
where the hyenas jump on
the cute gazelle
You calling me cute?
I'll take that as a yes.
Did you see that?
Please tell me you saw that.
Did I ever tell you
I grew up on a ranch?
My daddy gave me a
pony for my tenth birthday.
Her coat was so white
I called her Snowflake.
I loved her so much some nights
I used to sneak down and sleep
in the stable with her.
Then one day out of the blue...
she bit my hand.
She near took my finger off.
My daddy said she'd gone bad,
that we had to send her to
the big ranch in the sky.
I begged him not to do it...
but in the end, like he said,
"when they turn on you,
you gotta show them who's boss".
Don't you ever bite me again.
Do I make myself clear?
Now give me your phone.
We don't want you
running off with that boy.
Zipzer, was it?
Guard this door,
don't let her leave.
Look! There!
That's my arm!
See I was with Hayden.
That could be anyone's arm.
You are losing it. Seriously.
Okay first positions everyone.
You'll never be able to pull
this sleigh on your own Zipzer.
You're too weak.
Okay One house down,
two billion to go.
Rudie can you can pull
this sleigh by yourself?
All aboard Santa!
We've got plenty of
presents to deliver...
All across the world!
Let's go!
I'm in!
Woah!
I'm so sorry.
Oooohhhh OoooHhhhh...!
Oooh... Oooh...
If you have any questions my
door is always open.
Hoooooooo!
It gives me no pleasure to
tell you I told you so.
Who am I kidding?
I've never been happier.
Ah, now, now will you
call the ambulance,
or shall I?
Ho?
You are despicable,
everything about you.
He fired me from MY own musical!
What? He can't do that!
What's gonna happen to the show?
I don't know! And he did!
Lose the sleigh:
much too dangerous.
We're going to try
something different.
Miss Adolf! Anybody
but Miss Adolf!
Silence at the back!
I've got a lot of work to do
knocking this monstrosity
into shape.
This is a masterpiece!
Don't you change one note.
That would be like
painting a m...
a moustache on the Mona Lisa!
Beethoven's Fifth
is a masterpiece.
The Nutcracker Suite
is a masterpiece.
This is an assault on Christmas.
I'm begging you, don't ruin it!
I'm going to rescue it.
That would be like the
iceberg rescuing the Titanic.
Toodle oooh Mr. Clause.
You can't give up!
This is your show!
Hank sometimes you win,
sometimes you lose.
Sometimes you play Glastonbury,
sometimes you get stuck
in the portaloo
and you never make it
to the stage.
Oh yes! That happened.
What if I say I won't do it?
They can't put it on
without Rudolph?
This is your moment to shine.
I need you to make
that show fabulous!
I will. By getting you
your musical back.
Wait!
Wait! No! No! Hank!
Oh I have to work on this
teacher/pupil obedience thing.
Oh!
Why?
Hello?
Oh erm, yes, yes,
there's a lot of dust.
I'm just checking.
Dust.
I know how to impress
the inspectors.
You're moving to a new school?!
No. But I can get
Hayden Chase
to sing in the Christmas Show.
Oh and I can get the Queen
to tap dance with penguins.
You can?!
Oh. But I really CAN get
Hayden Chase - she's my friend!
Ridiculous! What are you? Six?
You're nothing. No-one.
Stars like Hayden Chase
don't even know you exist.
Lucky for them!
Now get out of my sight before
I give you detention -
for a whole year!
If I can get Hayden to do it,
will you put Mr. Rock back in
charge of the show?
Oh I'll do one better.
If Hayden Chase sings
in our musical -
I'll eat my socks in front
of the whole school.
You heard it here first!
Out with the new
and in with the old.
You can't go wrong
with a classic.
But the show's on Saturday!
I've got an IQ of a
hundred and forty six
and even I couldn't
rehearse a whole new play
in two days!
Where there's a will
there's a way Emily.
Now let's show the inspectors
what Westbrook really stands
for.
Indecisiveness?
Tradition. Ohh...
Hi Hayden, it's me Hank.
Again.
Are you getting any of
these messages?
I really need
you to call me back,
it's kind of urgent.
I've got a massive
favour to ask.
Dude, this isn't funny anymore.
You know it actually wasn't
that funny to begin with.
Why isn't she calling me back?
Maybe her phone's broken?
Maybe you need to
leave planet Hank
and join the rest of
us back on Earth.
I know! I'll go to the hotel
and ask her face to face.
Hank! Getting into
more trouble
isn't going to help
Mr. Rock or you.
You're wasting your time anyway.
She's singing in City
Square tonight.
Tell Mum and Dad
I'm rehearsing late!
"She's singing in City
Square tonight."
Why didn't you just
call him a cab?
I don't sounds like
that, just so you know.
Come on, big mouth.
We need to find someone to
stop him.
Wait a minute.
This is like looking for a
snowball in a blizzard!
We should split up.
No. No.
No - the last thing we need is
more snowballs.
Were gonna stick together.
My guess is he'll
be near the stage.
Alright, that's a good idea.
If that true, we're
going old school.
Ow!
I want my phone back.
I need to call my mom.
I called her for you.
I told her you were having the
time of your life.
She and your pop say 'hi'.
Now make the magic happen.
What are you doing?
Making pancakes.
Thank you for coming
out tonight.
It's so good to see all of you.
Hayden! Over here!
It's me, Hank!
Snow is falling,
sleighbells ring,
Christmas Eve
and children sing,
I should feel joy
but not tonight.
Cos your not here
and that ain't right.
We were king and
queen of prom.
My first love were
have you gone?
I hold you close
here in my arms
It was always you right
from the start.
I've hung my
stocking, made my list,
Hoping Santa
hears my wish.
Snow falling
from above.
Far from the
one I love.
All I need to
make it right
Is to see your
face tonight.
How can you not like this one?!
I think I'm allergic
to her voice.
Coming through...
Hank. Excuse me.
Wow... Great shoes.
Great shoes.
Hank!
Hayden over here!
Choirs sing and
snowball fights.
Mistletoe and
fairy lights.
Hayden!
I would give up
all of these,
I'd even give up
Christmas trees.
I've hung my
stocking made my list,
Hopeing Santa hears my wish.
Hayden! Help!
Snow falling from above
Far from the one I love.
All I need to make it right
Is to see your
face tonight
Hank! Hank! Hank!
He was right here.
Hank! Hello there.
Come on home
this Christmas time
Hank!
The wire!
Uh oh.
It's like bumfire night.
Bonfire.
Oh.
Hank?! Is that you?
What in the blue blasers
is rodeo clown doing here?
Graaaab him!
See?
I told you my life was a
disaster!
And I never want to see a
snowman ever again..
You three. You're
coming with us.
This is not the way to
Buckingham Palace?
You're fired! And I
mean it this time!
Oh yes this is lovely.
You alright?
Hum! Where gonna
need a bigger pot.
Hello Maternity Ward.
Nurse Stanley Zipzer on duty.
What do you mean
he's been arrested?!
Dad?
Yeah, that, that's my boy.
Wow.
This is a new low, isn't it?
Even for you Hank.
You've let me down,
you let your Mum down.
You let the birthing pool down.
Why can't you just
stop and think
for once before you
launch yourself into
these stupid escapades?
You see these walls?
Do you want this
to be your future?
I'm sorry dad, it was
an accident.
Yeah, yeah I suppose
it probably was.
C'mon son, let's
get you home. Eh?
Well done, you finally
made the news.
Oh well Hayden
wants y'all to know
she's A-okay after
last night's rumpus.
As for the loser that caused
all this hullabaloo,
I'm happy to say that Hayden
doesn't know him
from applesauce.
It seems he's a stalker.
She must be talking about
someone else.
Hayden knows me.
He goes by the name
of Hank Zipzer.
Maybe there's another
Hank Zipzer?!
A pupil of Westbrook school
was arrested last night and...
You can't even be a
successful criminal.
So it wasn't enough
for you to send
the school inspectors
on a sleigh ride
to the hospital?
I didn't mean to do that.
I was...
You didn't think,
you went far enough
to ensure that Westbrook
Academy's reputation
was in ruins?!
You know what I was trying to...
So what does he go and do?
He goes and gets
himself arrested!
With three pupils!
In school uniform!
To be perfectly clear,
I was not in school uniform.
This may be the
season of goodwill.
Look at that Christmas Crackers.
That's very smart!
But not for you music man.
Under the powers vested in me as
Commander-in-Chief
of this school,
I declare that you...
Woah. Woah. Woah.
Let's talk this out.
I love these kids.
I love my job. I love
this school.
Please! Don't fire me!
I'm asking you.
I thought I fired you, already?
Me? No, that would of been
one of the other
security guards.
He goes by the name
of Hank Zipzer.
Okay darling.
We got a conference
at ten for the launch
of your toy doll.
Put on an outfit to match.
Why did you say
he was a stalker?
He's my friend!
That boy's dumber
than a box of rocks!
I bet he can barely
write his own name.
I want to go home for Christmas.
And I want to look twenty
years younger honey,
but even my plastic surgeon says
that ain't gonna happen.
I really need to see my family.
And you will.
Just as soon as
this tour is over.
Oh, cheer up honey,
I'm sure they got
tinsel in Tokyo.
Hey Lou! Great job
on the doll.
Huh, well how much shelf
space are we getting?
I know exactly how you
feel trapped in there.
I'm so, so, so sorry guys.
What did your parents say?
Look at Zitzer! Loser!
How's Hayden? Stalker!
Loser.
A stalker at Westbrook -
the shame of it.
And during an inspection!
Sadly, I cannot
expel you because
it wasn't an official trip.
But one more mistake,
like that Zipzer,
you are o.u.t. o.f. h.e.r.e.
You work it out!
Hi. How are you both?
You're moving to
a new classroom?
No. No. I'm starting
a new life.
They fired me.
This is all my fault.
You must hate me.
I don't hate you!
I never thought I
would make it this far.
I thought they were
gonna fire me
after the first week.
Hey! You want a harmonica?
Bob Dylan gave it me I
never got the hang of it.
I am so useless. I
mess everything up.
1973, Denver. Look at that.
You believe it.
Me and The Flaming Rhinos
were on tour,
it's my turn to drive the van.
We get out stretch our legs,
and nincompoop here
forgets the handbrake.
All of a sudden I'm watching
in horror the bus
is going down the hill,
into a lake.
Glug, glug, glug.
D'you ever see a bass
guitar drowning?
It's heart-breaking.
We didn't give up.
Oh no we begged, we borrowed,
we got a new van, got new
equipment and we toured again,
we did not give up
and neither are you.
Hank, you are a clever,
inventive smart young man.
And just because reading,
writing and maths
might be hard for you,
it has nothing to do with
how brilliant you are.
I'm starting a new life and
you are gonna be okay.
I feel like
Sleeping Beauty
Black thorns
are closing in
Locked in my
perfect palace
Wishing my life
could begin,
But wishing never works it
just adds to all the hurt.
And the truth is,
I'm under your spell.
Can't ever break free,
but your not here.
To fight my fear don't
leave me here.
I'm under your spell.
Can't ever break free,
but you're not here.
To fight my fear don't
leave me here with me.
Can't ever break free.
Oh no...
Okay honey the car is...
Fired?
This play sucks!
Why can't we do Rudolph the
Rock 'n' Roll Reindeer?
For so many reasons.
You do realise it's
aerodynamically
impossible for reindeer to fly?
Who cares? It's
more fun than this!
Christmas isn't about fun,
it's about celebrating good
old-fashioned values.
Like not firing Mr. Rock
just because
he was trying to help Hank?
Like obedience to authority
and respect for your elders.
Oh yeah? Well we're
going on strike
until Mr. Rock is reinstated.
We want Rock! We want Rock!
We want Rock! We want Rock!
Silence!
Back on the stage! All of you!
Right now! This is your
last warning!
Very well, we'll do the
show without them.
But Nick can't play all
sixteen parts by himself.
I am very versatile.
You're really not.
Please, Miss. Go outside
and talk to them.
I refuse to negotiate
with anarchists.
Okay let's take it from the top.
Uno alla volta! One at a time!
Don't make me use
the squirty cream.
Hank! My hero!
Clear those plates and
wash up, will you?
At least Papa Pete's
still pleased to see me.
Hands off!
My last panettone
is for Mrs Trapani.
Save yourself while
you still can, Mrs Trapani!
Buon Natale.
Do you know a Hank Zipzer?
Hi.
Hayden! I, I don't...
what are you...
it's so good to see you!
I just really wanted
to apologise
for the whole 'stalker' thing.
Tammy was way out of line.
How did you find me?
You told me this was your
happy place, remember?
So what were you doing
crawling under the stage?
I err, needed to
ask you something
but it doesn't matter now.
What? Tell me.
I messed up, that's what I do.
I mess up people's lives
and make them worse.
It's the one thing
I'm really good at.
That and rocking an apron.
Here let me help you
with the dishes.
You've got much better
things to be doing
than washing up here with me.
No. I don't.
You know I really like
hanging out with you Hank.
You're the only person I know
that doesn't want
anything from me.
Tammy will be furious if she
finds out you're here.
I just realised
Tammy's always mad.
Now I'm gonna choose who
my friends are, not her.
I choose you.
I am the ghost of Jacob Marley.
It cannot be!
You died seven years ago
this Christmas Eve.
Woah. You will be
visited by three ghosts.
I can't do this,
it's impossible.
Impossible is winning
the Eighty Eight
Fencing World Championships
with a broken epe
and chronic diarrhea.
Then you do it.
Children today have no backbone.
Pathetic!
Don't even think about asking.
Oh. Very well, then I SHALL
play all the parts.
At least with my
performance Dickens' words
will be en-un-ci-ate-ed
with per-fect cla-ri-ty.
A little something for you,
you two saved my life!
Papa Pete makes the
best pasta in London.
The world!
My grandson says
the nicest things.
Oh wow. This is amazing.
And he has excellent
choice in friends.
Hayden! Hayden Chase!
It's Hayden Chase!
I don't want to
be your flower girl,
A pretty thing
for you to twirl
I am so sorry I
didn't believe you!
I will eat my socks right now!
Sorry, no consumption of food
not purchased on the premises.
I'm so excited you're gonna be
in our school show!
What show?
It's Hayden Chase everyone!
She's singing at Westbrook
Christmas Show!
Get tickets! Tell everyone!
Hayden Chase!
One more.
Oh Hayden Chase!
Is Hayden, it's just Argh!!!
Hayden Chase! Zipzer!
What a result!
You came through!
Hank? What was
he talking about?
I was trying to help
my music teacher Mr. Rock.
I thought if you could sing
in the show then...
So that's what all this
has been about?
You just wanted
something from me?
No, no it's, it's not like that.
You know, I thought
you were different
and now you're just like
all the others.
Please, let me explain.
No don't, Okay I've
heard it before.
Goodbye Hank.
She doesn't like my pasta?
She doesn't like me.
I want Rock! I want Rock!
I feel so bad about
not believing Hank.
I feel bad we don't have a show
for Hayden to sing in.
And for Hank, obviously.
Well, it's not over yet.
We want Rock, he's on our list.
Hoping you will hear our wish.
That's Hayden! You're
singing her Christmas hit!
We want Rock, he's on our list,
Hoping you will hear our wish!
How did that get in my head?!
She's a witch.
It's the magic of Hayden.
No-one's immune!
Later on in the
show we've got the queen
of pop, Hayden Chase singing
live in the studio,
She is going to be right here.
How's that for an early
Christmas present.
I told you we should
have believed Hank.
Really?
I must have missed that piece
of parenting brilliance.
Oh ok, well I THOUGHT it.
If that Tammy knew
they were friends,
why would she call him
a stalker?
Cause she didn't think that Hank
was good enough for
her precious star.
I tell you if I ever see that
massive-haired madam
I'm gonna...
Go into early labour
so calm down.
Keep breathing, in, out, in,
out, big breaths.
This won't take a minute.
These instructions
make no sense.
Thank you!
What so, now we've
got no cradle!
So, so were are we
gonna put the baby?!
He can't live in here forever!
Oh, I will buy you another one.
I'll help you choose.
I am the ghost of Jacob Marley.
It cannot be!
You died seven years ago
this Christmas Eve.
You will be visited by three
ghosts.
No!
The ghost of Christmas Past...
No. No.
The ghost of Christmas Present.
And the ghost of...
Oh, Oh,
Argh!
I am the ghost of Christmas
Productions Yet to Come.
Who am I?
I am a soul of the night,
while I travel...
Just take a look, at what the
audience thinks
of what you've done.
Not exactly laughing in the
aisles, are they?
You know what they're
all thinking?
They love Dickens?
How quickly will this be over?
Don't be a Scrooge, Miss Adolf.
Don't leave me!
Don't leave me!
B-b-b-b-bye...
Are you alright Miss Adolf?
No! I need to find Mr. Rock!
I have to save Christmas!
If I was a washed up
old music teacher,
where would I go...?
Do you want me to help you
fill it with water's
No, it's fine.
Alright.
I mean I would be the one
filling it, you know?
Knowing me I'd probably flood
the flat or something.
I mean I'd just, just
stand over here and watch.
No you can fill it
when the time comes.
Just for now your baby brother
doesn't seem in any
hurry to arrive.
Oh right, I thought...
Are you okay?
I'm sorry we didn't
believe you about Hayden.
It doesn't matter now anyway.
We're not friends any more.
If that's because of that
manager of hers
I'm going to find her and...
No it was my fault.
I messed up...
again.
What happened? Come on,
tell me everything.
I fly around the world
singing my song.
Spreading the joy and
righting the wrongs.
Of all the subways
in all the world
you have to choose mine
to walk through!
Mr. Joy thinks he's made
a mistake firing you
and thinks you should come back
and put on your musical tonight.
Oh, he's not a Dickens fan?
We felt on reflection
it was perhaps
a little too high brow.
And nothing to do with the
kids striking, huh?
Oh, yeah I heard about that.
Go on then have a gloat.
Let's get it out of the way.
Roll up, roll up
and hear all about
Miss Adolf's Dickens disaster!
I'm sorry, I didn't mean
to shout at you.
I've been under an awful strain.
Please come back -
the production needs you!
I didn't catch what you said?
The school needs you!
What?
Okay, okay.
I need you! Alright?
Almost got it, a little louder.
I SAID I NEED YOU.
NOT THE PRODUCTION.
NOT THE SCHOOL.
ME! I NEED YOU.
Well why didn't you say so!
Course I'll help!
Where are you going?
I'm in the middle of a gig,
I can't just walk away.
I could use a little help.
Oh no.
Y.E.S. Pick it up.
Come on.
Hit against your thighs.
Go on.
I tell you something
dancing, would be great...
You'll make a lot of
money dancing.
You are an insufferable
little man
and I curse the day we ever met.
We shouldn't be here Mum.
You need to talk to her
before she flies out tonight.
I really don't.
Please can we just go?
Listen, if you don't tell
her how you feel,
you'll regret it.
I'm starting to regret being
here with you.
Oh sorry, I just had to do that.
Ow... Erm no. I think it's
started it.
I'll have to sit down!
Shouldn't Rudolph
have bigger antlers?
I am the star of the show.
What do you think?
Your show, your decision.
We're gonna stay
with your antlers.
You know what I'm thinking?
I'm thinking we should go
much bigger antlers.
Remember when you first come out
the other reindeers have
no respect for you.
So be tentative, nervous.
You must feel what
Rudolph feels.
You must BECOME a reindeer.
Ok, from the top!
Hi Mom, sorry I'm not
gonna be home for Christmas.
I'll call you from Tokyo.
She does spell
Christmas wrong like me...
Oh a muffin.
I'm not gonna sing in
your school show
so you might as well leave.
I don't care about the show,
I care about...
What you think of me.
That's private.
You've got dyslexia like me.
You should probably go,
though your the one with
the problem not me.
I get it, you're a big pop star.
You don't want it to damage
your perfect image.
I never said I was perfect.
Deep down just as messed
up as my spelling.
I didn't tell you about the show
because I didn't want
to be another person
asking you for something.
You weren't using me?
Only to help with
the washing up.
I'm sorry Hank.
Oh no, your granddad must
think I'm really rude.
I didn't eat his pasta.
He's a mess.
The only way to
make it up to him is
to come back with me.
I wish I could but we're
flying out tonight.
Well you don't have too,
if you don't want to.
Try telling Tammy that.
Well maybe it's time you
just stood up to Tammy?
And maybe it's time you
stopped sticking your snout
where it's not wanted.
Get this loser out of here!
Get moving honey,
you are on in five.
Hank!
Hayden!
Aww. Ooo.
Get your hands off my son!
You were faking?!
Who even does that?
I told you to keep him
away from my star.
She's worth a lot of
money to me and
I won't see her
sidetracked by a loser
like him!
The only loser
around here is you.
Lying about my son
being a stalker!
You knew they were friends!
I don't have to listen
to this trailer trash -
throw her out along
with her dumb kid.
Oh trailer trash?!
I'll show you trailer trash!
Don't just stand there!
Do something!
I'm not fighting
a pregnant lady!
Agh!
You're fired!
Fired, fired, fired, fired,
fired, fired, FIRED!
It's okay Mum, you can
stop pretending now.
No I'm, I'm not pretending!
Oh the baby really is coming!
I'll call Dad!
Lift. Lift. Lift.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Oh. No. No. No.
Argh!
I told you it was too big.
Oh shut up.
Oh.
You couldn't answer
that could yer?
It's going to voicemail!
I've gotta get home!
I'll call Emily!
No. No. No. She'll
just boss me about.
It's, it's you Hank.
You're my birth partner now!
Mum. You don't want me.
I'll mess up! Something
bad will happen.
It always does. I'll get help!
Argh! the baby's coming! oh!
Stop!
Bethlehem's a bit far love,
but I can drop you
at St. Thomas's?
It's just over the river.
No. No. I need
to get home.
I'm having a home birth.
It's. It's all going to
be perfect this time.
We won't make it, Mum.
It's too far!
Take us to the hospital.
No. No. You need to lift
your end higher.
You need to lower your
end and twist.
It won't twist! Lift!
I said don't choose a big one?
What did he do?
You said this cradle
was fit for a king!
Yes. But you don't
live in a castle!
Oh. Rosa's having the baby!
Rosa's having the baby!!!
I've gotta get out.
Let me out!
Oh. What about the cradle?!
It looks good there.
Dad's on his way.
He won't be long!
I don't wanna be here!
I wanna be at home!
You'll be better off without me.
I'm a total failure.
Don't say that.
Don't ever say that.
You know what's
important is not,
good grades and all that stuff.
What is important
is that you have
a good heart and
you've got a great heart.
Mum, my hand, I
think it's gonna snap.
Just once I want to hear
Santa say, go Rudolph,
Tonight, tonight.
Did he just lose his voice?
I thought so.
My Rudolph has lost his voice.
What am I gonna do now?
You're exactly right,
this show is gonna
be a disaster.
Oh. If only Hank were here.
Not something I expected to
hear from a teacher.
Or anyone.
Ever.
Mother's having the baby!
We have to hurry!
Excuse me.
I know this is not the time,
but where is Hank?
Helping deliver the baby.
Well as far as excuses go,
that's not a bad one.
Close your eyes.
Now is not the time
for a nap Hank.
It's a trick that
Hayden taught me.
You close your eyes
and imagine that
you're in a place that
makes you happy.
I'm in a hospital
surrounded by machines.
Nothing can change that.
Please Mum.
Okay.
Imagine the flat -
cushions on the sofa,
trophies on the bookshelf,
gherkin jar in the kitchen.
Oh could you make
that pickled chilies?
Cos I'm, I'm liking them now.
Don't get distracted mum.
Now imagine that you're
in the birthing pool,
the water's lovely and warm.
Dad's standing by your
side, holding your hand.
Yes, I can see him.
You are doing great love.
I'm so proud of you.
Keep breathing, big breaths
through the nose.
That chili smells good.
Now we really need you to
start pushing now. Okay?
Okay.
Now, you're heading for the
home straight,
okay, the finishing line is in
sight.
The crowd are going wild.
No sport stuff, now.
Got it. Okay.
Come on - one last big push.
You can do it!
Ah...
Oh wow, look, isn't he gorgeous?
My two lovely boys.
Bella bambino!
Oh he is beautiful love!
I am so sorry I wasn't with you.
Well you were, thanks to Hank.
I'm so glad you're here.
But we do need to talk
about the importance
of sticking to timetables.
Hey. If you hurry you
can still make it
back to school
before curtain up.
I'm not in the show anymore.
Well you are now!
We're just heading
for the airport now.
Well soon as we're
wheels down in Tokyo
let's talk turkey on those
extra dates in Sydney.
I want top dollar, Brett.
Okay. Don't you
lowball me.
Come on darlin' let's hustle,
we got a plane to catch.
I said c'mon. Like now!
What do you mean,
Hayden Chase isn't coming?!
She had no choice.
She had to go to Japan.
Man, it would've been
great to sing with her.
And get a selfie.
What?
I have five thousand
of these printed!
The audience are expecting
Hayden Chase!
The inspectors have arrived,
I've shown them to their seats.
They can't see this!
I'll lose my job!
We must empty the hall, but how?
What if we had a sudden fire?
Oh no you don't.
The show must go on.
Never admit defeat.
Right! The show must go on.
How about here? Can you
see the stage okay?
Err, the cravings
are supposed to stop
after the baby's
born you know...
Just shush and zoom
in on the stage.
Welcome to Westbrook Academy!
We are delighted to
have you here with us
within these hallowed
halls of learning.
Where education is the name
and excellence is the game!
Christmas is a time
for, for love,
peace and understanding,
definitely NOT a time for
throwing things at headmasters.
On an unrelated
matter Hayden Chase
will not be appearing tonight.
In another tiny cast change,
our hugely talented lead,
Nick McKelty,
has lost his voice and
will be replaced
by the marginally
talented Hank Zipzer.
STALKER!
STALKER! STALKER!
Hank and Hayden are friends!
She's eaten at my deli!
The Spicy Salami!
It's very good.
Two for One lunch deals.
So without further ado,
sit back and endure - enjoy -
the very first, and possibly
the very last performance
of 'Rudolph the
Rock 'n' Roll Reindeer.'
Be aware: no
refunds will be admitted.
No throwing things...
No... I am the headmaster...
Good luck Rudolph.
You can do this.
No I can't.
Hold it,
kids, you know I
don't care that much
about my musical but
what I care about
is that your willing to
walkout because of
those people out there.
You're Hank Zipzer right.
You're made of
stronger stuff right.
The answer to that
question is yes...
So here is the question,
you've gotta answer yourself,
are you a reindeer that rocks
or are you a
reindeer that rolls?
Why doesn't he speak?
C'mon Hank, you can do it.
Get off!
Shut up! Let him sing!
I take it back!
None of you are
welcome at my deli!
Room for one more elf?
It's Hayden Chase!
CHAAAAAASE!
What are you doing here?
I wanted to see you again.
What about your tour?
What tour?
Hey!
Get away from that loser!
He's not a loser!
We don't like her;
she is not a nice lady.
You're getting in that car and
you're getting on that
plane to Tokyo! Missy!
No Tammy! I'm going
to the airport
and getting on a plane to go
home for Christmas.
I built you up from nothing!
You're no-one without me!
You do as I say or
I will destroy you!
Remember me?
I work for Miss Chase now.
You're fired.
Stings, doesn't it?
Get you're dirty hands off me!
Yes! Ahah!
Who's the loser now, missy!?
Say bye bye to the nasty lady.
These are my best friends.
They're big fans.
Hello? Are we doing
this show or what?
You ready?
Where's the mistletoe
when you need it?
Happy Christmas, Hank Zipzer.
That's my boy!
Look! That's your big brother.
Isn't he amazing?
Snow is falling,
sleighbells ring.
Christmas eve
and children sing.
I should feel joy
but not tonight,
Cause you're not here
and that ain't right.
We were King and
Queen of Prom.
My first love were
have you gone?
I hold you close here
in my heart,
It was always you
right from the start.
Hung my stocking,
made my list,
Hoping Santa
hears my wish.
Snow falling
from above,
Far from the
one I love
All I need to
make it right,
Is to see
your face tonight.
Fire's warm
but I feel cold,
Without your
hand your hold.
Won't you grant
my wish tonight
And come on home
this Christmas time.
Choirs sing and
snowball fights.
Mistletoe and
fairy lights.
I would give up
all of these.
I'd even give up
Christmas trees.
Hung my stocking
made my list,
Hoping Santa
hears my wish.
Snow falling
from above
Far from the
one I love.
All I need to
make it right,
Is to see your
face tonight.
Fires warm but
I feel cold
Without your
hand to hold.
Won't you grant
my wish tonight
And come on home
this Christmas time.
I can't forget
I can move on,
I know for sure
you are the one.
Hometime boy
it's now or never,
Make this Christmas
last forever
Fire's warm
but I feel cold,
Without your hand
to hold.
Won't you grant
my wish tonight,
Come on home this,
Christmas time.
So come on home
this Christmas time.
I fly round the
world singing my song.
Spreading the joy and
righting the wrongs.
A Reindeer that rocks
is nothing to fear.
I light up the night
with joy and good cheer.
I never get big for the
sleigh ride team.
Seeing the world is
forever my dream.
Go Dancer. Go Prancer.
Go Dasher.
Go Vixen. Go Comet.
Go Cupid.
Go Donner. Go Blitzen.
Just what I want to hear
Santa say,
Go Rudolf tonight you can
guide the sleigh!
This time it's you!
This is now officially the
worst Christmas ever.
Yeah, as disasters go...
this is my biggest one yet.
Let's go back 2 weeks before I
ruined Christmas.
Don't even think about that
until after breakfast.
Oh I was just checking there
was one in there for later.
Two weeks to go and he's on
the 99th growth percentile.
Keep up the good work!
No, No don't listen
to your sister.
You are a good size,
don't get any bigger.
Studies show babies
with larger heads
can grow up to have higher IQs.
Please, don't be a
geek like Emily.
Be a normal person like me.
Dad, the cradle is now...
Five days behind schedule.
Mum and Dad let her write
a Pregnancy Timetable
to help them keep on track.
Boy are they regretting
that decision.
I will do it today.
Maybe we should
have penalty points
for not sticking
to the timetable.
Excellent idea.
We can start with
ten points off you
for crossing out your visit to
the maternity ward tomorrow.
Oh not so cocky now, are we?
I told you - I'm
having a home birth.
But what if there's a
complication?
Hospitals have
machines and doctors
and at your age you
might need them.
My age?!
Red alert! Take cover!
Hospitals are sterilised
safe environments
where less can go wrong.
Oh really?
It's a baby boy!
We're calling him Hank.
They let me off 'cos
I was a baby.
Next time they weren't
quite so understanding.
Hank come say hello
to your baby sister Emily!
Hank?
Weeeeeeee!
No hospital.
I want less equipment around.
Right erm, where are
the gherkins?
I need some gherkins.
Here you go my
love, don't panic.
Mum gets these weird cravings.
Mangoes, mushy peas, fish skin!
Right now it's gherkins.
Can't get enough of them.
She loves the mini ones from
Papa Pete's deli.
Nothing but the best
for my angel!
I've hung my stocking,
made my list
Hoping Santa
hears my wish...
Who's he into now?
Hayden Chase -
she's basically a
hairspray that can sing.
Far from the one I love
All I need to make you cry,
is to see your face tonight.
Fires warm but I feel cold
Without your
hand to hold.
Won't you grant
my wish tonight
Come on home this
Christmas time.
She's doing a video in London.
Maybe she'll hire me
as a backing dancer?
Sorry!
'Rudolph the Rock
'n' Roll Reindeer'.
Great title Mister Rock!
Thank you you've gotta
have a great title,
if you're gonna have
a great musical.
Did you ever hear of
"Earwax: The Musical"?
Did you ever hear
"Toehair" the musical?
No.
That's right. That's
why the three of you
have to be at the audition.
- Yes sir!
- You bet!
Alright, you're gonna be
fantastic, all three.
Even me?
Especially you. now get out of
here, get to class.
I love school at Christmas.
No proper lessons, loads
of messing about,
it's brilliant.
What on earth, do you
think you are doing?
I know that you're not
a fan of my work
but I think even you will be
up on your cloven hooves
and dance to this one.
I'm not talking about this.
I'm talking about THAT!
Oh isn't that great?
Feel the energy!
It's like when we
opened for the Beatles
at Shea stadium!
Rock and Roll Miss A!
How you ever became a
teacher is a mystery to me.
You know what! Me too!
Ahem!
You know I've got the
perfect part for you
in this musical.
Yeah Grizella, the
evil snow witch.
Everything you look
at turns to ice.
See what I mean?
You're perfect!
STOP EVERYTHING!
I've just been informed
we're having...
A surprise school inspection.
They're due within the hour!
Okay just stay Calm.
Stay calm! Stay calm!
Oh this really is most tiresome.
We've only just
had an inspection.
That was before the incident
with the runaway lawn mower.
And the exploding custard.
Awkward!
You know what,
there not coming -
They can't come it's Christmas!
Christmas is cancelled!
I must be having a nightmare.
Sorry sorry!
Seriously?!
Shh!
I'm here to help you
with the cradle.
How did you know
it had collapsed?
Call it a lucky guess.
Well I, I, I'm doing this alone.
It's a, it's a father-son
thing, you understand.
Of course.
I hand carved Rosa's cradle
from a solid block
of Sicilian oak.
It took me six months
and seventy-seven blisters.
Ahhh! I loved that cradle.
You're the best daddy...
Well here we go son,
one hand-assembled cradle
coming right up.
Go Dancer. Go Prancer.
Go Dancer. Go Vixen.
Go Comet. Go Cupid.
Go Donna. Go Pran...
What are you doing?
Mr. Joy has cancelled your
alleged "musical".
Oh no?! He didn't do that!
I work all year for this.
Auditions are today!
Not any more.
Well I'm gonna talk to him.
Well you can't!
He's preparing for the
school inspection,
as should you be.
We don't want one bad apple
spoiling the whole barrel.
Well let me tell you,
this apple doesn't care what
the inspectors think,
I only care that the
little apples
have a great Christmas.
Well what all the little appl-
Ahem...
pupils need is a
first-rate education,
not a second rate Santa.
Did you just say that to me?
Yes I did.
Camilla Stevens, Head inspector.
What a lovely building.
Jonathan Lao, trainee, this is
my first inspection.
Welcome to Westbrook.
What a pleasure having you here.
When I heard we was having
a surprise inspected
I was like... YES!
I love inspections!
Love 'em, love 'em, love 'em!
Christmas has come early.
Thank you Santa!
When you come down that chimney,
I'm gonna leave you something.
Well that makes a change.
A change.
Shall we begin?
Now. Can anyone tell me how
to separate substances
in a mixture?
What if they're friends?
What if they don't want
to be separated?
Miss. Can't we do something
more Christmassy
than chemistry?
Oooh we could do a secret Santa!
We all get surprise gifts!
Awesome! Now you're talking!
Christmas starts
on December 25th
and not a day sooner.
The different methods are -
filtration, evaporation,
distillation and chromatography.
Nick McKelty. A grade 'A'
student.
A grade 'A' pain.
Now this experiment might go
slightly over your heads
but it's always worth a try.
No! No! No! No! No! No!
Part of me knows this is
going to be really bad.
But part of me really
wants this to happen.
Here at Westbrook
we pride ourselves
on creating an atmosphere of
calm and serenity.
HENRY ZIPZER!
COME BACK HERE!
You were saying?
Saying? Is there
an echo in here?
Alright. What did
you do this time?
I threw a paper ball
at Miss Adolf.
Good one.
You?
Apparently I'm supposed to
have something called
a lesson plan.
I mean who knew,
how do you plan music.
- You can't.
- You see that's what I think.
I thought you just kind of
grabbed the guitar,
turn up the volume and
let the Reindeers Rock.
Well the music was so loud,
that the white board just
shattered off the wall.
That sounds awesome!
Yeah. Except Mr. Joy
thought it sounded like
'an orchestra trapped
inside a tumble dryer'.
ZIPZER!
Okay, listen, his bark is
worse than his bite.
But then, they said that
about my Grandma's dog
and he ate the mailmen.
You covered Miss Adolf
in green gunge?
It was more a sort of turquoise.
It's not funny, Hank.
Mr. Joy says this is
your final warning.
One more incident and
you'll get suspended.
Hank, you've got to stop
getting into trouble.
It was an accident.
Well it's always an
accident isn't it?
You need to grow up Hank.
We've only got room for
one baby in this flat.
Emily? What are you doing?!
I said I'd get the tree
when I'd finished
building the cradle.
Yeah, I thought it would be
nice to have one before Easter.
Emily, you don't
need to be cheeky,
your father's doing his best.
Oh thank you for the
vote of confidence.
So, who wants to
help me decorate it?
Me!
Remember what happened last time
you decorated the tree?
Sorry!
It was an accident...
Okay, well we can all
decorate the tree.
Come on everybody,
grab a bauble.
Best not, I'll only break it.
That's odd, my head feels breezy
Oh that is not good.
No brain. No brain. No brain.
As I always suspected Zipzer -
you're brainless!
Don't let me ever
go back to sleep.
Why don't you just
ask Dad to help
and be done with it?
And what?
Be reminded of my failure
every time I put this little
guy down to sleep?
Did he kick?
Yeah. He could kick for
Liverpool!
No Arsenal!
Dad always wanted me
to play football
but I was never any good.
Are you sure about having
a home birth?
Wouldn't you feel more
comfortable in hospital?
I didn't feel comfortable
with Hank
concussing two nurses?
No this time everything's
gonna be perfect.
Nothing is gonna go wrong.
I can't wait to meet him.
Me too,
I've got a good
feeling about this one.
I think he's gonna be a genius.
Maybe he could help me
put this cradle together.
He's going to do
something amazing.
Just you wait and see.
What they really mean is -
they hope he doesn't
turn out like me.
Hayden Jason's gone number one
in the download chart!
Oh! She's spreading
like a virus.
I have to find a cure.
Have you seen the inspectors?
They were heading for
Mr. Rock's classroom.
One can only hope they've
brought protective headgear.
Just once I want to
hear Santa say...
Go Rudolph, tonight you
can guide the sleigh.
And then the other
reindeers get lost
and Rudolph has to save the day.
That sounds wonderful.
Wonderful.
You know the beauty
of music lies
in the ear of the beholder.
And you two have exquisite ears!
This is exactly the sort of
imaginative approach
that we're looking for.
I can't wait to see it.
You, you know, neither can I.
But the musicals been cancelled.
Cancelled?! Cancelled?!
Mr. Rock's musical is the
highlight of the year!
The staff and pupils
absolutely love it.
It's something that would
never be cancelled.
Ever.
Must have been an admin
error, or something.
You, you know how
wonderful this man is?
He said you all get more money
for costumes this year.
I did?
You did
I did. I did.
And then he went on and
said a new lighting rig.
How generous is that.
That was unexpected but
if that's what it takes
to get this show on the
road, then we must do it.
Oh my goodness.
And then this Headmaster
of Headmasters.
He said the entire orchestra
gets a new instrument
AND a confetti canon
for the finale.
I just get carried away.
It's great to see a Headmaster
supporting the creative arts.
And this show is the
perfect opportunity
to see what Westbrook can do.
Westbrook can do.
With all this new
equipment this better be
the greatest Christmas musical
the world has ever seen!
Rock on!
Oh rock on.
Hey look! The show's back on!
Awesome!
I think I'm gonna give the
auditions a miss.
C'mon Hankster, you're
amazing on stage.
You have to audition.
Roll up folks!
Come and see the
greatest show on earth!
Rudolph the
Rock 'n' Roll Reindeer
starring the one and only...
Hank Zipzer!
Yeah... maybe...
Yeah, you're totally right!
This could be my
chance to make Mum and Dad
proud of me!
Another day and still no cradle.
I'll just make a note of that.
Go Dancer! Go Prancer!
Go Dasher! Go Vixen!
Go Comet! Go Cupid!
Go Donner! Go Blitzen!
I can't wait for
these auditions!
Has anyone seen my gherkins?
By the sink.
Enough nonsense about cradle.
Where are we going to
put the birthing pool?
We're out of gherkins!
It's the vitamin K
your body's craving.
Have some broccoli instead.
I don't want broccoli!
I WANT GHERKINS!
No-one make any
sudden movements.
I can trot to the deli
and get you a jar?
Reindeers do trot, right?
If you would do that,
you would officially
be my favourite child.
I can report you
for saying that.
Go straight to the
deli, no dawdling,
no stopping to, to, to
look at amusing pigeons.
This is an emergency!
Run like the wind!
There only gherkins Dad,
I can do this.
I'm not completely useless.
That was Rudolph, not me!
Sorry son, you'll have to wait.
Please! It's an emergency!
My mum needs gherkins!
Ah! That's
not an emergency.
You've never seen her in
a gherkin rage.
What are they doing, anyway?
Don't wanna
be a flower girl.
A pretty thing for
you to twirl.
Summers gone
you'll dump me fast
I wanna love that's
gonna last all year.
Do you love me,
or love me not.
Were going cold
or getting hot.
CUT!
Please, Ms. Harris,
all these interruptions
are making
it very difficult to...
Not that it's a problem,
of course.
Good. 'Cos if it was,
we'd be looking for a new
director.
Can I just do this in a coat?
And cover up that knock-out
dress, Hayden honey?
You can't sell this song
without a bit of sizzle, sugar.
And you are looking
smoking hot, girl.
Then why do I have goosebumps?
'Cos you're excited about
being in London?
Oh come on couple more weeks,
we'll be in Tokyo.
They say it's beautiful at
Christmas.
Nothing is the same as
Christmas at home
and I always spend it with my
Mom and Dad.
Sorry, darlin'.
Sometimes you want the rainbow,
you gotta put up with the rain.
Ow! My eyes!
This stuff'll really
make them pop.
Hhum!
Not to rush you but the flowers
are starting to wilt.
And they're not the only ones.
You wanna see your folks -
they're right down that lens.
Then you make 'em
proud of their little girl.
Okay, alright, well,
well from the top!
And action!
Don't wanna be
a flower girl.
A pretty thing
for you to twirl.
Summers gone you'll
dump me fast
I wanna love that's
gonna last all year.
Hey you!
CUT!
Are you people incapable of
doing anything right?!
Do you KNOW how much
this girl is worth?
You okay honey?
Security!
That's lunch!
Ahah! No way!
We've gotta keep shooting -
we got places to go,
people to see.
I don't mind if we
break for lunch.
I mind!
Time is money honey and
I'm not gonna let
this bunch of clowns
ruin my rodeo.
You're fired!
Don't you walk away from me now!
You're fired! You're
definitely fired!
You are fired!!
Fired! Fired! Fired!
You. You're definitely fired.
Come on. Who wants some?
Who wants some?
You're fired?!
That's Hayden Chase!
Frankie is gonna be so jealous.
Woah! You're...
I know who you are.
You know who you are.
I mean, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I messed
up your video.
No it's fine.
You got me a lunch break,
I owe you. Big time.
Who is that?
Tammy Harris. My manager.
Is she always that angry?
She's just...
kinda protective.
He can't have just disappeared
like a catfish up a creek!
YOU. You're unfired! Find him!
I should probably
give myself up.
No trust me, you do
not wanna do that.
Follow me...
I hate my hair like this.
Looks good to me.
But I'm probably the wrong
person to ask.
I like your hair,
maybe that should
be my new look.
It's easy to do -
you just wake up in the
morning and you're good to go.
Bed hair!
I love it!
Stop! Stop!!!!
He'll be half way to
Hawaii by now.
Come on Y'all get back to work
or you'll get my rhinestone
boot up your behinds!
Oh hello there Mister Takahashi.
Oh really, oh well,
I mean what is the
weather like over there.
Okay, I think you can relax now.
Can I take one of
these for a friend?
He's a huge fan.
And would this friend
happen to be yay high,
with cute messy hair?
No Frankie's hair
is always perfect.
He spends hours on it.
Oh. I just thought...
Oh right... doesn't matter.
Yeah I'll write him a message.
So you don't like my music?
No, no -
I mean yes, yes I
like it, I love it.
Erm... It's good. So...
musical?
Right.
So what's your favourite song
off my new album?
The, the new album?
I err, well...
You know it's so hard
to pick a favourite -
when they're all so amazing.
I promise I'll download it as
soon as I get home.
It's okay. I'll give you
a free download link.
If you don't like it
you can delete it.
Thanks!
Alright.
Call me and let me
know what you think.
Cos I could really do with
some honest feedback.
Tickles.
Oh you flatter
me Mr. Takahashi.
Sayonara!
Guess who's sold out in Tokyo!
You are on a roll, girl.
I am never washing
this hand, again.
Gherkins!
Where are all the gherkins?!
Sorry Hank, just sold out.
NO!
I knew I should have
got here sooner.
Mum's gonna kill me.
Then you better come up
with a good excuse.
I bumped into a mega star:
Hayden Chase.
Not bad but the name
needs some work.
She's real!
Of course she is.
Papa Pete, I know how to
get Mum some gherkins!
Papa Pete - where d'you
keep the vinegar?
You made these?!
Yeah step away from
the jar, Rosa!
They don't even look
like gherkins.
I can't! I'm going in.
I couldn't find any gherkins.
They only had chilies.
Hum! Delicious!
Oh! Oh!
I'll get you some water.
I told you not to dawdle!
I didn't! I bumped
into Hayden Chase.
First rule of lying:
at least make it
slightly believable.
I'm not lying!
Look - she gave me her number!
And she gave me a signed
photo for Frankie!
Oh, you really did meet her!
'Merry Crismus Frankie'.
There's only one person I know
who spells Christmas,
C.R.I.S.M.U.S
That's weird.
Hum! Yep you
bought the photo
and signed it yourself
to get out of trouble...
Second rule of lying:
don't get caught red-handed.
They didn't believe me!
Nice try Hank but I'm not
falling for it either.
Hayden Chase doesn't
have dyslexia.
If she did it would be in
her autobiography.
She's written her life story?
She's only sixteen!
'Chasing Rainbows'.
I have it in hardback
and paperback.
You guys should read them.
I'd rather wax my eyeballs.
Well maybe she doesn't like
talking about her dyslexia?
It's not exactly something
you brag about.
You can keep on selling
but I'm not buying.
C'mon, we don't want
to be late for the
Christmas audition.
Why will no-one believe me!
Get your rear in gear girl!
The day don't wait
for no-one, darlin'.
Hey Bob...
can you help me with something?
Alright sweetie pie.
Just try a little louder.
This will be the
biggest disaster
since Henry Zipzer was allowed
in the school talent show.
Being able to fart the
national anthem
is not a talent!
Do you really want to
give the inspectors
front-row seats to a
Christmas catastrophe?!
I had no choice:
they want to see it.
Maybe it'll only be a
bit of a disaster.
Have you been eating tinsel?!
This is Mr. Rock
we're talking about.
Just once I want to
hear Santa say
I'm never going to top that.
Go Rudolph! Tonight you can
guide the sleigh!
I think you've found your
Rudolph Mr. Rock.
He's perfect.
Yeah, well no come on.
A little too perfect.
Remember before
Rudolf saves the day,
all the other reindeer
make fun of 'em.
NEXT!!
But we have our inspectors.
Too perfect sounds...
perfect to me.
There's no next.
Cast him, he's Rudolph!
Next!
I live in the Arctic but I've
never been cool
That's how Rudolph ended up
on Santa's naughty list.
Stop smiling.
Why are you smiling?
No smiling!
Not Zipzer. No way!
Now he is funny.
Funny.
He is my decision.
I got the part!!
Hello! Anybody home?
Emily is taking us to a class
on home births.
I didn't think you'd
want to come.
Dinners in the oven.
Try not to burn
the flat down, Hank.
I know how to use an oven Dad.
I think I'm gonna have
salad tonight.
I try hard but I'm
still afraid.
I'm never gonna
make the grade
You make it look so easy,
when I follow you.
I've got nothing to show.
The stars are
out of reach
Why do I try?
I wanna be like you..
I wish I was smarter.
I wish I was brave.
I wish I was all the
things you crave
Cos I don't ever
wanna let you down
Don't ever wanna
make you frown
No I just wanna
make you proud.
I try hard but
I'm still afraid.
I'm never gonna
make the grade.
This album is awesome.
I wish I could tell her...
Go Dancer. Go Prancer.
Here we go.
Alright, Listen Brass
your doing great,
a little less spit or
we're gonna have to
hand out umbrellas.
Bongo's are you with me?
Bongo's?
This noise is intolerable!
I mean I can hardly hear
myself teach!
I demand silence!
You demand silence!
You know what that's really
difficult
Because this is a musical,
IT'S GOTTA BE LOUD.
The noise levels are well over
the maximum level allowed in
the workplace.
A hundred and five decibels.
Were did you come from?
Comply with the regulations
or I will have this
production shut down!
Okay. Okay. You
know what I need?
I need some organization,
that's all.
Oh look at those spreadsheets.
They are so organised.
How would you like...
No, not doing it.
You'll of course you would get
extra marks
on your school report...
I'll take the job.
SILENCE!
Are you two related?
Can I see the
production timetable?
"Can I see the
production timetable?"
A timetable, of course you can.
As soon as you write them.
You can see them. Beautiful...
What an apple.
Okay here we go kids,
from the top!
The label wants new promo
shots for Tokyo.
They're picking you up in ten
minutes,
want to see you in this.
Do we have to do this right now?
Don't you give me the diva,
darlin'.
You want the folks at the label
thinking won't play ball?
Oh c'mon, put it on.
You'll look real cute!
Brett, how we looking
for Australia?
I want Sydney Opera House,
you know we can fill it.
This won't get me into
trouble now will it?
I won't tell if you don't.
I'm flying round the
world singing my song.
Spreading the joy and
righting the wrongs.
A Reindeer that rocks
is nothing to fear.
I light up the night
with joy and cheer.
I never get big for the
sleigh ride team.
Seeing the world is
forever my dream.
Go Dancer. Go Prancer.
Go Dasher.
Go Vixen. Go Comet.
Go Cupid.
Go Donna. Go Blitzen.
Just what I want to hear
Santa say,
Go Rudolf tonight you can
guide the sleigh!
This time it's you...
Rudolf's the name. Pulling
a sleigh is the game.
Oh, sorry. Wrong number.
Hayden?
Hank? Is that you?
Yeah!
I was just, erm, pretending
to be a reindeer.
Wow, I can't believe it's you!
You never called?
Did you hate the
album that much?
I loved it!
It's just I lost your number
in a gherkin related incident.
Okay. I guess you're forgiven.
Hayden get out here -
we got work to do!
Sorry I gotta go, Hank.
Tammy's hollering. Time to go
dress-up doll again.
Can't you get out of it?
Do something fun instead.
I wish.
Say that you've had an idea
for a hit song
Then sneak out when
she's not looking.
That could actually work.
Hank you're a genius.
People don't often call me that.
If I do escape I'll need
someone to hang out with.
So are you free tonight?
Hello? You still there?
Yeah. Yeah.
I was just erm,
checking my calendar...
I think I might have
a window free.
Great, Okay I'll text you
where to meet.
See you later Rudolph.
Yes, yes, yes, yes,
yes, yes, YES!!!!
No.
You've skated before, right?
No, but how hard can it be?
I don't have to do that
with my arm,
I just think it looks cool.
Don't worry; I got you.
I'm gonna have
a fun time tonight.
I'm not gonna let
anything ruin it.
How's it going in there, hon?
Sugar? You in there?
Will you stop being
so terrified,
this is supposed to be fun.
Have you seen how sharp
these skates are?
Alright look.
Whenever I get nervous
before I go on stage
I just imagine I'm
somewhere else -
like making pancakes
with my mom.
It relaxes me, you should
try it sometime.
Last time I made
pancakes with my mum
I set off every smoke
alarm for about a mile.
You don't like your family?
I love my family, it's just...
My sister wants me to be
put in a lab and tested.
My dad wishes I could
score the winning goal
at the world cup and my mum
still basically thinks I'm a
work in progress.
I'm kind of a disappointment.
I'm sure they love you really.
This Christmas
they're replacing me
with another boy.
No way!
Yeah, my mum's due any day now
and my baby brother's all
they can talk about.
Okay I thought you
were being serious.
I am!
I bet you they call him
"Hank Two Point Oh",
"New and Improved".
Okay then forget about your
home and think about
somewhere else that
makes you happy.
Where did you go?
The Spicy Salami,
the family deli.
With my granddad.
It's my favourite place.
Well it worked, you're skating!
That's amazing!
How did you do that?
Woah!
Hayden! I am so so sorry!
Are you okay?
Please be okay.
Skating is SO not your thing!
Ooh! Help me!
I'm Hank!
And I was really starting
to like you.
Hey, it's Hayden Chase!
Those are your fans?!
I thought they'd rip us apart.
Oh it's all part of the job,
I guess.
It was like one of
those wildlife shows
where the hyenas jump on
the cute gazelle
You calling me cute?
I'll take that as a yes.
Did you see that?
Please tell me you saw that.
Did I ever tell you
I grew up on a ranch?
My daddy gave me a
pony for my tenth birthday.
Her coat was so white
I called her Snowflake.
I loved her so much some nights
I used to sneak down and sleep
in the stable with her.
Then one day out of the blue...
she bit my hand.
She near took my finger off.
My daddy said she'd gone bad,
that we had to send her to
the big ranch in the sky.
I begged him not to do it...
but in the end, like he said,
"when they turn on you,
you gotta show them who's boss".
Don't you ever bite me again.
Do I make myself clear?
Now give me your phone.
We don't want you
running off with that boy.
Zipzer, was it?
Guard this door,
don't let her leave.
Look! There!
That's my arm!
See I was with Hayden.
That could be anyone's arm.
You are losing it. Seriously.
Okay first positions everyone.
You'll never be able to pull
this sleigh on your own Zipzer.
You're too weak.
Okay One house down,
two billion to go.
Rudie can you can pull
this sleigh by yourself?
All aboard Santa!
We've got plenty of
presents to deliver...
All across the world!
Let's go!
I'm in!
Woah!
I'm so sorry.
Oooohhhh OoooHhhhh...!
Oooh... Oooh...
If you have any questions my
door is always open.
Hoooooooo!
It gives me no pleasure to
tell you I told you so.
Who am I kidding?
I've never been happier.
Ah, now, now will you
call the ambulance,
or shall I?
Ho?
You are despicable,
everything about you.
He fired me from MY own musical!
What? He can't do that!
What's gonna happen to the show?
I don't know! And he did!
Lose the sleigh:
much too dangerous.
We're going to try
something different.
Miss Adolf! Anybody
but Miss Adolf!
Silence at the back!
I've got a lot of work to do
knocking this monstrosity
into shape.
This is a masterpiece!
Don't you change one note.
That would be like
painting a m...
a moustache on the Mona Lisa!
Beethoven's Fifth
is a masterpiece.
The Nutcracker Suite
is a masterpiece.
This is an assault on Christmas.
I'm begging you, don't ruin it!
I'm going to rescue it.
That would be like the
iceberg rescuing the Titanic.
Toodle oooh Mr. Clause.
You can't give up!
This is your show!
Hank sometimes you win,
sometimes you lose.
Sometimes you play Glastonbury,
sometimes you get stuck
in the portaloo
and you never make it
to the stage.
Oh yes! That happened.
What if I say I won't do it?
They can't put it on
without Rudolph?
This is your moment to shine.
I need you to make
that show fabulous!
I will. By getting you
your musical back.
Wait!
Wait! No! No! Hank!
Oh I have to work on this
teacher/pupil obedience thing.
Oh!
Why?
Hello?
Oh erm, yes, yes,
there's a lot of dust.
I'm just checking.
Dust.
I know how to impress
the inspectors.
You're moving to a new school?!
No. But I can get
Hayden Chase
to sing in the Christmas Show.
Oh and I can get the Queen
to tap dance with penguins.
You can?!
Oh. But I really CAN get
Hayden Chase - she's my friend!
Ridiculous! What are you? Six?
You're nothing. No-one.
Stars like Hayden Chase
don't even know you exist.
Lucky for them!
Now get out of my sight before
I give you detention -
for a whole year!
If I can get Hayden to do it,
will you put Mr. Rock back in
charge of the show?
Oh I'll do one better.
If Hayden Chase sings
in our musical -
I'll eat my socks in front
of the whole school.
You heard it here first!
Out with the new
and in with the old.
You can't go wrong
with a classic.
But the show's on Saturday!
I've got an IQ of a
hundred and forty six
and even I couldn't
rehearse a whole new play
in two days!
Where there's a will
there's a way Emily.
Now let's show the inspectors
what Westbrook really stands
for.
Indecisiveness?
Tradition. Ohh...
Hi Hayden, it's me Hank.
Again.
Are you getting any of
these messages?
I really need
you to call me back,
it's kind of urgent.
I've got a massive
favour to ask.
Dude, this isn't funny anymore.
You know it actually wasn't
that funny to begin with.
Why isn't she calling me back?
Maybe her phone's broken?
Maybe you need to
leave planet Hank
and join the rest of
us back on Earth.
I know! I'll go to the hotel
and ask her face to face.
Hank! Getting into
more trouble
isn't going to help
Mr. Rock or you.
You're wasting your time anyway.
She's singing in City
Square tonight.
Tell Mum and Dad
I'm rehearsing late!
"She's singing in City
Square tonight."
Why didn't you just
call him a cab?
I don't sounds like
that, just so you know.
Come on, big mouth.
We need to find someone to
stop him.
Wait a minute.
This is like looking for a
snowball in a blizzard!
We should split up.
No. No.
No - the last thing we need is
more snowballs.
Were gonna stick together.
My guess is he'll
be near the stage.
Alright, that's a good idea.
If that true, we're
going old school.
Ow!
I want my phone back.
I need to call my mom.
I called her for you.
I told her you were having the
time of your life.
She and your pop say 'hi'.
Now make the magic happen.
What are you doing?
Making pancakes.
Thank you for coming
out tonight.
It's so good to see all of you.
Hayden! Over here!
It's me, Hank!
Snow is falling,
sleighbells ring,
Christmas Eve
and children sing,
I should feel joy
but not tonight.
Cos your not here
and that ain't right.
We were king and
queen of prom.
My first love were
have you gone?
I hold you close
here in my arms
It was always you right
from the start.
I've hung my
stocking, made my list,
Hoping Santa
hears my wish.
Snow falling
from above.
Far from the
one I love.
All I need to
make it right
Is to see your
face tonight.
How can you not like this one?!
I think I'm allergic
to her voice.
Coming through...
Hank. Excuse me.
Wow... Great shoes.
Great shoes.
Hank!
Hayden over here!
Choirs sing and
snowball fights.
Mistletoe and
fairy lights.
Hayden!
I would give up
all of these,
I'd even give up
Christmas trees.
I've hung my
stocking made my list,
Hopeing Santa hears my wish.
Hayden! Help!
Snow falling from above
Far from the one I love.
All I need to make it right
Is to see your
face tonight
Hank! Hank! Hank!
He was right here.
Hank! Hello there.
Come on home
this Christmas time
Hank!
The wire!
Uh oh.
It's like bumfire night.
Bonfire.
Oh.
Hank?! Is that you?
What in the blue blasers
is rodeo clown doing here?
Graaaab him!
See?
I told you my life was a
disaster!
And I never want to see a
snowman ever again..
You three. You're
coming with us.
This is not the way to
Buckingham Palace?
You're fired! And I
mean it this time!
Oh yes this is lovely.
You alright?
Hum! Where gonna
need a bigger pot.
Hello Maternity Ward.
Nurse Stanley Zipzer on duty.
What do you mean
he's been arrested?!
Dad?
Yeah, that, that's my boy.
Wow.
This is a new low, isn't it?
Even for you Hank.
You've let me down,
you let your Mum down.
You let the birthing pool down.
Why can't you just
stop and think
for once before you
launch yourself into
these stupid escapades?
You see these walls?
Do you want this
to be your future?
I'm sorry dad, it was
an accident.
Yeah, yeah I suppose
it probably was.
C'mon son, let's
get you home. Eh?
Well done, you finally
made the news.
Oh well Hayden
wants y'all to know
she's A-okay after
last night's rumpus.
As for the loser that caused
all this hullabaloo,
I'm happy to say that Hayden
doesn't know him
from applesauce.
It seems he's a stalker.
She must be talking about
someone else.
Hayden knows me.
He goes by the name
of Hank Zipzer.
Maybe there's another
Hank Zipzer?!
A pupil of Westbrook school
was arrested last night and...
You can't even be a
successful criminal.
So it wasn't enough
for you to send
the school inspectors
on a sleigh ride
to the hospital?
I didn't mean to do that.
I was...
You didn't think,
you went far enough
to ensure that Westbrook
Academy's reputation
was in ruins?!
You know what I was trying to...
So what does he go and do?
He goes and gets
himself arrested!
With three pupils!
In school uniform!
To be perfectly clear,
I was not in school uniform.
This may be the
season of goodwill.
Look at that Christmas Crackers.
That's very smart!
But not for you music man.
Under the powers vested in me as
Commander-in-Chief
of this school,
I declare that you...
Woah. Woah. Woah.
Let's talk this out.
I love these kids.
I love my job. I love
this school.
Please! Don't fire me!
I'm asking you.
I thought I fired you, already?
Me? No, that would of been
one of the other
security guards.
He goes by the name
of Hank Zipzer.
Okay darling.
We got a conference
at ten for the launch
of your toy doll.
Put on an outfit to match.
Why did you say
he was a stalker?
He's my friend!
That boy's dumber
than a box of rocks!
I bet he can barely
write his own name.
I want to go home for Christmas.
And I want to look twenty
years younger honey,
but even my plastic surgeon says
that ain't gonna happen.
I really need to see my family.
And you will.
Just as soon as
this tour is over.
Oh, cheer up honey,
I'm sure they got
tinsel in Tokyo.
Hey Lou! Great job
on the doll.
Huh, well how much shelf
space are we getting?
I know exactly how you
feel trapped in there.
I'm so, so, so sorry guys.
What did your parents say?
Look at Zitzer! Loser!
How's Hayden? Stalker!
Loser.
A stalker at Westbrook -
the shame of it.
And during an inspection!
Sadly, I cannot
expel you because
it wasn't an official trip.
But one more mistake,
like that Zipzer,
you are o.u.t. o.f. h.e.r.e.
You work it out!
Hi. How are you both?
You're moving to
a new classroom?
No. No. I'm starting
a new life.
They fired me.
This is all my fault.
You must hate me.
I don't hate you!
I never thought I
would make it this far.
I thought they were
gonna fire me
after the first week.
Hey! You want a harmonica?
Bob Dylan gave it me I
never got the hang of it.
I am so useless. I
mess everything up.
1973, Denver. Look at that.
You believe it.
Me and The Flaming Rhinos
were on tour,
it's my turn to drive the van.
We get out stretch our legs,
and nincompoop here
forgets the handbrake.
All of a sudden I'm watching
in horror the bus
is going down the hill,
into a lake.
Glug, glug, glug.
D'you ever see a bass
guitar drowning?
It's heart-breaking.
We didn't give up.
Oh no we begged, we borrowed,
we got a new van, got new
equipment and we toured again,
we did not give up
and neither are you.
Hank, you are a clever,
inventive smart young man.
And just because reading,
writing and maths
might be hard for you,
it has nothing to do with
how brilliant you are.
I'm starting a new life and
you are gonna be okay.
I feel like
Sleeping Beauty
Black thorns
are closing in
Locked in my
perfect palace
Wishing my life
could begin,
But wishing never works it
just adds to all the hurt.
And the truth is,
I'm under your spell.
Can't ever break free,
but your not here.
To fight my fear don't
leave me here.
I'm under your spell.
Can't ever break free,
but you're not here.
To fight my fear don't
leave me here with me.
Can't ever break free.
Oh no...
Okay honey the car is...
Fired?
This play sucks!
Why can't we do Rudolph the
Rock 'n' Roll Reindeer?
For so many reasons.
You do realise it's
aerodynamically
impossible for reindeer to fly?
Who cares? It's
more fun than this!
Christmas isn't about fun,
it's about celebrating good
old-fashioned values.
Like not firing Mr. Rock
just because
he was trying to help Hank?
Like obedience to authority
and respect for your elders.
Oh yeah? Well we're
going on strike
until Mr. Rock is reinstated.
We want Rock! We want Rock!
We want Rock! We want Rock!
Silence!
Back on the stage! All of you!
Right now! This is your
last warning!
Very well, we'll do the
show without them.
But Nick can't play all
sixteen parts by himself.
I am very versatile.
You're really not.
Please, Miss. Go outside
and talk to them.
I refuse to negotiate
with anarchists.
Okay let's take it from the top.
Uno alla volta! One at a time!
Don't make me use
the squirty cream.
Hank! My hero!
Clear those plates and
wash up, will you?
At least Papa Pete's
still pleased to see me.
Hands off!
My last panettone
is for Mrs Trapani.
Save yourself while
you still can, Mrs Trapani!
Buon Natale.
Do you know a Hank Zipzer?
Hi.
Hayden! I, I don't...
what are you...
it's so good to see you!
I just really wanted
to apologise
for the whole 'stalker' thing.
Tammy was way out of line.
How did you find me?
You told me this was your
happy place, remember?
So what were you doing
crawling under the stage?
I err, needed to
ask you something
but it doesn't matter now.
What? Tell me.
I messed up, that's what I do.
I mess up people's lives
and make them worse.
It's the one thing
I'm really good at.
That and rocking an apron.
Here let me help you
with the dishes.
You've got much better
things to be doing
than washing up here with me.
No. I don't.
You know I really like
hanging out with you Hank.
You're the only person I know
that doesn't want
anything from me.
Tammy will be furious if she
finds out you're here.
I just realised
Tammy's always mad.
Now I'm gonna choose who
my friends are, not her.
I choose you.
I am the ghost of Jacob Marley.
It cannot be!
You died seven years ago
this Christmas Eve.
Woah. You will be
visited by three ghosts.
I can't do this,
it's impossible.
Impossible is winning
the Eighty Eight
Fencing World Championships
with a broken epe
and chronic diarrhea.
Then you do it.
Children today have no backbone.
Pathetic!
Don't even think about asking.
Oh. Very well, then I SHALL
play all the parts.
At least with my
performance Dickens' words
will be en-un-ci-ate-ed
with per-fect cla-ri-ty.
A little something for you,
you two saved my life!
Papa Pete makes the
best pasta in London.
The world!
My grandson says
the nicest things.
Oh wow. This is amazing.
And he has excellent
choice in friends.
Hayden! Hayden Chase!
It's Hayden Chase!
I don't want to
be your flower girl,
A pretty thing
for you to twirl
I am so sorry I
didn't believe you!
I will eat my socks right now!
Sorry, no consumption of food
not purchased on the premises.
I'm so excited you're gonna be
in our school show!
What show?
It's Hayden Chase everyone!
She's singing at Westbrook
Christmas Show!
Get tickets! Tell everyone!
Hayden Chase!
One more.
Oh Hayden Chase!
Is Hayden, it's just Argh!!!
Hayden Chase! Zipzer!
What a result!
You came through!
Hank? What was
he talking about?
I was trying to help
my music teacher Mr. Rock.
I thought if you could sing
in the show then...
So that's what all this
has been about?
You just wanted
something from me?
No, no it's, it's not like that.
You know, I thought
you were different
and now you're just like
all the others.
Please, let me explain.
No don't, Okay I've
heard it before.
Goodbye Hank.
She doesn't like my pasta?
She doesn't like me.
I want Rock! I want Rock!
I feel so bad about
not believing Hank.
I feel bad we don't have a show
for Hayden to sing in.
And for Hank, obviously.
Well, it's not over yet.
We want Rock, he's on our list.
Hoping you will hear our wish.
That's Hayden! You're
singing her Christmas hit!
We want Rock, he's on our list,
Hoping you will hear our wish!
How did that get in my head?!
She's a witch.
It's the magic of Hayden.
No-one's immune!
Later on in the
show we've got the queen
of pop, Hayden Chase singing
live in the studio,
She is going to be right here.
How's that for an early
Christmas present.
I told you we should
have believed Hank.
Really?
I must have missed that piece
of parenting brilliance.
Oh ok, well I THOUGHT it.
If that Tammy knew
they were friends,
why would she call him
a stalker?
Cause she didn't think that Hank
was good enough for
her precious star.
I tell you if I ever see that
massive-haired madam
I'm gonna...
Go into early labour
so calm down.
Keep breathing, in, out, in,
out, big breaths.
This won't take a minute.
These instructions
make no sense.
Thank you!
What so, now we've
got no cradle!
So, so were are we
gonna put the baby?!
He can't live in here forever!
Oh, I will buy you another one.
I'll help you choose.
I am the ghost of Jacob Marley.
It cannot be!
You died seven years ago
this Christmas Eve.
You will be visited by three
ghosts.
No!
The ghost of Christmas Past...
No. No.
The ghost of Christmas Present.
And the ghost of...
Oh, Oh,
Argh!
I am the ghost of Christmas
Productions Yet to Come.
Who am I?
I am a soul of the night,
while I travel...
Just take a look, at what the
audience thinks
of what you've done.
Not exactly laughing in the
aisles, are they?
You know what they're
all thinking?
They love Dickens?
How quickly will this be over?
Don't be a Scrooge, Miss Adolf.
Don't leave me!
Don't leave me!
B-b-b-b-bye...
Are you alright Miss Adolf?
No! I need to find Mr. Rock!
I have to save Christmas!
If I was a washed up
old music teacher,
where would I go...?
Do you want me to help you
fill it with water's
No, it's fine.
Alright.
I mean I would be the one
filling it, you know?
Knowing me I'd probably flood
the flat or something.
I mean I'd just, just
stand over here and watch.
No you can fill it
when the time comes.
Just for now your baby brother
doesn't seem in any
hurry to arrive.
Oh right, I thought...
Are you okay?
I'm sorry we didn't
believe you about Hayden.
It doesn't matter now anyway.
We're not friends any more.
If that's because of that
manager of hers
I'm going to find her and...
No it was my fault.
I messed up...
again.
What happened? Come on,
tell me everything.
I fly around the world
singing my song.
Spreading the joy and
righting the wrongs.
Of all the subways
in all the world
you have to choose mine
to walk through!
Mr. Joy thinks he's made
a mistake firing you
and thinks you should come back
and put on your musical tonight.
Oh, he's not a Dickens fan?
We felt on reflection
it was perhaps
a little too high brow.
And nothing to do with the
kids striking, huh?
Oh, yeah I heard about that.
Go on then have a gloat.
Let's get it out of the way.
Roll up, roll up
and hear all about
Miss Adolf's Dickens disaster!
I'm sorry, I didn't mean
to shout at you.
I've been under an awful strain.
Please come back -
the production needs you!
I didn't catch what you said?
The school needs you!
What?
Okay, okay.
I need you! Alright?
Almost got it, a little louder.
I SAID I NEED YOU.
NOT THE PRODUCTION.
NOT THE SCHOOL.
ME! I NEED YOU.
Well why didn't you say so!
Course I'll help!
Where are you going?
I'm in the middle of a gig,
I can't just walk away.
I could use a little help.
Oh no.
Y.E.S. Pick it up.
Come on.
Hit against your thighs.
Go on.
I tell you something
dancing, would be great...
You'll make a lot of
money dancing.
You are an insufferable
little man
and I curse the day we ever met.
We shouldn't be here Mum.
You need to talk to her
before she flies out tonight.
I really don't.
Please can we just go?
Listen, if you don't tell
her how you feel,
you'll regret it.
I'm starting to regret being
here with you.
Oh sorry, I just had to do that.
Ow... Erm no. I think it's
started it.
I'll have to sit down!
Shouldn't Rudolph
have bigger antlers?
I am the star of the show.
What do you think?
Your show, your decision.
We're gonna stay
with your antlers.
You know what I'm thinking?
I'm thinking we should go
much bigger antlers.
Remember when you first come out
the other reindeers have
no respect for you.
So be tentative, nervous.
You must feel what
Rudolph feels.
You must BECOME a reindeer.
Ok, from the top!
Hi Mom, sorry I'm not
gonna be home for Christmas.
I'll call you from Tokyo.
She does spell
Christmas wrong like me...
Oh a muffin.
I'm not gonna sing in
your school show
so you might as well leave.
I don't care about the show,
I care about...
What you think of me.
That's private.
You've got dyslexia like me.
You should probably go,
though your the one with
the problem not me.
I get it, you're a big pop star.
You don't want it to damage
your perfect image.
I never said I was perfect.
Deep down just as messed
up as my spelling.
I didn't tell you about the show
because I didn't want
to be another person
asking you for something.
You weren't using me?
Only to help with
the washing up.
I'm sorry Hank.
Oh no, your granddad must
think I'm really rude.
I didn't eat his pasta.
He's a mess.
The only way to
make it up to him is
to come back with me.
I wish I could but we're
flying out tonight.
Well you don't have too,
if you don't want to.
Try telling Tammy that.
Well maybe it's time you
just stood up to Tammy?
And maybe it's time you
stopped sticking your snout
where it's not wanted.
Get this loser out of here!
Get moving honey,
you are on in five.
Hank!
Hayden!
Aww. Ooo.
Get your hands off my son!
You were faking?!
Who even does that?
I told you to keep him
away from my star.
She's worth a lot of
money to me and
I won't see her
sidetracked by a loser
like him!
The only loser
around here is you.
Lying about my son
being a stalker!
You knew they were friends!
I don't have to listen
to this trailer trash -
throw her out along
with her dumb kid.
Oh trailer trash?!
I'll show you trailer trash!
Don't just stand there!
Do something!
I'm not fighting
a pregnant lady!
Agh!
You're fired!
Fired, fired, fired, fired,
fired, fired, FIRED!
It's okay Mum, you can
stop pretending now.
No I'm, I'm not pretending!
Oh the baby really is coming!
I'll call Dad!
Lift. Lift. Lift.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Oh. No. No. No.
Argh!
I told you it was too big.
Oh shut up.
Oh.
You couldn't answer
that could yer?
It's going to voicemail!
I've gotta get home!
I'll call Emily!
No. No. No. She'll
just boss me about.
It's, it's you Hank.
You're my birth partner now!
Mum. You don't want me.
I'll mess up! Something
bad will happen.
It always does. I'll get help!
Argh! the baby's coming! oh!
Stop!
Bethlehem's a bit far love,
but I can drop you
at St. Thomas's?
It's just over the river.
No. No. I need
to get home.
I'm having a home birth.
It's. It's all going to
be perfect this time.
We won't make it, Mum.
It's too far!
Take us to the hospital.
No. No. You need to lift
your end higher.
You need to lower your
end and twist.
It won't twist! Lift!
I said don't choose a big one?
What did he do?
You said this cradle
was fit for a king!
Yes. But you don't
live in a castle!
Oh. Rosa's having the baby!
Rosa's having the baby!!!
I've gotta get out.
Let me out!
Oh. What about the cradle?!
It looks good there.
Dad's on his way.
He won't be long!
I don't wanna be here!
I wanna be at home!
You'll be better off without me.
I'm a total failure.
Don't say that.
Don't ever say that.
You know what's
important is not,
good grades and all that stuff.
What is important
is that you have
a good heart and
you've got a great heart.
Mum, my hand, I
think it's gonna snap.
Just once I want to hear
Santa say, go Rudolph,
Tonight, tonight.
Did he just lose his voice?
I thought so.
My Rudolph has lost his voice.
What am I gonna do now?
You're exactly right,
this show is gonna
be a disaster.
Oh. If only Hank were here.
Not something I expected to
hear from a teacher.
Or anyone.
Ever.
Mother's having the baby!
We have to hurry!
Excuse me.
I know this is not the time,
but where is Hank?
Helping deliver the baby.
Well as far as excuses go,
that's not a bad one.
Close your eyes.
Now is not the time
for a nap Hank.
It's a trick that
Hayden taught me.
You close your eyes
and imagine that
you're in a place that
makes you happy.
I'm in a hospital
surrounded by machines.
Nothing can change that.
Please Mum.
Okay.
Imagine the flat -
cushions on the sofa,
trophies on the bookshelf,
gherkin jar in the kitchen.
Oh could you make
that pickled chilies?
Cos I'm, I'm liking them now.
Don't get distracted mum.
Now imagine that you're
in the birthing pool,
the water's lovely and warm.
Dad's standing by your
side, holding your hand.
Yes, I can see him.
You are doing great love.
I'm so proud of you.
Keep breathing, big breaths
through the nose.
That chili smells good.
Now we really need you to
start pushing now. Okay?
Okay.
Now, you're heading for the
home straight,
okay, the finishing line is in
sight.
The crowd are going wild.
No sport stuff, now.
Got it. Okay.
Come on - one last big push.
You can do it!
Ah...
Oh wow, look, isn't he gorgeous?
My two lovely boys.
Bella bambino!
Oh he is beautiful love!
I am so sorry I wasn't with you.
Well you were, thanks to Hank.
I'm so glad you're here.
But we do need to talk
about the importance
of sticking to timetables.
Hey. If you hurry you
can still make it
back to school
before curtain up.
I'm not in the show anymore.
Well you are now!
We're just heading
for the airport now.
Well soon as we're
wheels down in Tokyo
let's talk turkey on those
extra dates in Sydney.
I want top dollar, Brett.
Okay. Don't you
lowball me.
Come on darlin' let's hustle,
we got a plane to catch.
I said c'mon. Like now!
What do you mean,
Hayden Chase isn't coming?!
She had no choice.
She had to go to Japan.
Man, it would've been
great to sing with her.
And get a selfie.
What?
I have five thousand
of these printed!
The audience are expecting
Hayden Chase!
The inspectors have arrived,
I've shown them to their seats.
They can't see this!
I'll lose my job!
We must empty the hall, but how?
What if we had a sudden fire?
Oh no you don't.
The show must go on.
Never admit defeat.
Right! The show must go on.
How about here? Can you
see the stage okay?
Err, the cravings
are supposed to stop
after the baby's
born you know...
Just shush and zoom
in on the stage.
Welcome to Westbrook Academy!
We are delighted to
have you here with us
within these hallowed
halls of learning.
Where education is the name
and excellence is the game!
Christmas is a time
for, for love,
peace and understanding,
definitely NOT a time for
throwing things at headmasters.
On an unrelated
matter Hayden Chase
will not be appearing tonight.
In another tiny cast change,
our hugely talented lead,
Nick McKelty,
has lost his voice and
will be replaced
by the marginally
talented Hank Zipzer.
STALKER!
STALKER! STALKER!
Hank and Hayden are friends!
She's eaten at my deli!
The Spicy Salami!
It's very good.
Two for One lunch deals.
So without further ado,
sit back and endure - enjoy -
the very first, and possibly
the very last performance
of 'Rudolph the
Rock 'n' Roll Reindeer.'
Be aware: no
refunds will be admitted.
No throwing things...
No... I am the headmaster...
Good luck Rudolph.
You can do this.
No I can't.
Hold it,
kids, you know I
don't care that much
about my musical but
what I care about
is that your willing to
walkout because of
those people out there.
You're Hank Zipzer right.
You're made of
stronger stuff right.
The answer to that
question is yes...
So here is the question,
you've gotta answer yourself,
are you a reindeer that rocks
or are you a
reindeer that rolls?
Why doesn't he speak?
C'mon Hank, you can do it.
Get off!
Shut up! Let him sing!
I take it back!
None of you are
welcome at my deli!
Room for one more elf?
It's Hayden Chase!
CHAAAAAASE!
What are you doing here?
I wanted to see you again.
What about your tour?
What tour?
Hey!
Get away from that loser!
He's not a loser!
We don't like her;
she is not a nice lady.
You're getting in that car and
you're getting on that
plane to Tokyo! Missy!
No Tammy! I'm going
to the airport
and getting on a plane to go
home for Christmas.
I built you up from nothing!
You're no-one without me!
You do as I say or
I will destroy you!
Remember me?
I work for Miss Chase now.
You're fired.
Stings, doesn't it?
Get you're dirty hands off me!
Yes! Ahah!
Who's the loser now, missy!?
Say bye bye to the nasty lady.
These are my best friends.
They're big fans.
Hello? Are we doing
this show or what?
You ready?
Where's the mistletoe
when you need it?
Happy Christmas, Hank Zipzer.
That's my boy!
Look! That's your big brother.
Isn't he amazing?
Snow is falling,
sleighbells ring.
Christmas eve
and children sing.
I should feel joy
but not tonight,
Cause you're not here
and that ain't right.
We were King and
Queen of Prom.
My first love were
have you gone?
I hold you close here
in my heart,
It was always you
right from the start.
Hung my stocking,
made my list,
Hoping Santa
hears my wish.
Snow falling
from above,
Far from the
one I love
All I need to
make it right,
Is to see
your face tonight.
Fire's warm
but I feel cold,
Without your
hand your hold.
Won't you grant
my wish tonight
And come on home
this Christmas time.
Choirs sing and
snowball fights.
Mistletoe and
fairy lights.
I would give up
all of these.
I'd even give up
Christmas trees.
Hung my stocking
made my list,
Hoping Santa
hears my wish.
Snow falling
from above
Far from the
one I love.
All I need to
make it right,
Is to see your
face tonight.
Fires warm but
I feel cold
Without your
hand to hold.
Won't you grant
my wish tonight
And come on home
this Christmas time.
I can't forget
I can move on,
I know for sure
you are the one.
Hometime boy
it's now or never,
Make this Christmas
last forever
Fire's warm
but I feel cold,
Without your hand
to hold.
Won't you grant
my wish tonight,
Come on home this,
Christmas time.
So come on home
this Christmas time.
I fly round the
world singing my song.
Spreading the joy and
righting the wrongs.
A Reindeer that rocks
is nothing to fear.
I light up the night
with joy and good cheer.
I never get big for the
sleigh ride team.
Seeing the world is
forever my dream.
Go Dancer. Go Prancer.
Go Dasher.
Go Vixen. Go Comet.
Go Cupid.
Go Donner. Go Blitzen.
Just what I want to hear
Santa say,
Go Rudolf tonight you can
guide the sleigh!
This time it's you!