Happy Death Day (2017) Movie Script
Shut up!
Oh, hey, you're up.
I wasn't sure if you wanted to
sleep in or not, so.
Am I in a dorm room?
Uh... yeah.
Yeah, it's my birthday
And now you gotta
pick up the phone
Ugh.
Where are my clothes?
On the dresser.
I folded your pants
last night.
And I wasn't sure
if that material
gets wrinkled.
Great.
Uh...
Don't know if you
remember my name or not.
Uh, pretty wasted last night
- Got Tylenol?
- What?
Ugh. My head is killing me.
Do you have any Tylenol?
Yes...
I do.
Uh, sorry.
Thanks.
I'm Carter.
By the way.
Not a word of this to anyone.
Got it?
Yeah.
Sure.
Dude, you hit that fine
vagine or what?
Nice one, dickhead.
Hey.
Stop global warming?
- Oh!
- Oh!
Come on.
63 bottles of beer
on the wall.
26 hours,
that's all you got?
I can't hear you!
62 bottles of beer
Take one down,
pass it around
Keep going!
Hey.
Hi.
You haven't
returned any of my texts.
Yeah. Sorry, I've been busy.
Yeah. I can see that.
Okay, Tim, we went on
a date.
One.
I don't have to text you back.
We're not like a thing.
Okay. I just...
You know, I figured
we had a nice time.
You had a nice time.
I was miserable.
I mean, who takes
their first date to Subway?
It's not like you
have a footlong.
Does this look
infected to you?
Someone drank my booze.
It's open!
Oh, my God.
You sneaky little biotch.
Who was it?
Nobody.
Sisters don't keep secrets.
Seriously, it was nobody.
Well, I hope nobody
used a condom.
We don't want somebody
looking like a whore.
Thanks, Danielle.
Super helpful.
What are sisters for?
Oh, and don't forget.
House meeting at lunch.
Living for it.
She finally rolls in.
Did I totally embarrass
myself last night?
Not at all.
Unless you consider
dancing on a table,
starting two fights,
and barfing pretzel chunks
all over the bar embarrassing.
Please, tell me you're kidding.
Oh, and you also rammed
your tongue down Nick Sims' throat
right in front of Danielle.
Oh, God, but she was so
nice to me this morning.
Yeah, I think she was
as drunk as you last night.
So, consider it collective amnesia.
Thank God for that.
Oh, crap.
I'm so late for class.
Can't find my damn book!
Ha!
Hm hm.
Did you really think you could
keep it a secret from me?
How did you find out?
Driver's license.
Not the best picture,
I might add.
I assume you
changed my ringer too.
Who me?
Never.
What'd you wish for?
A new roommate.
Wench.
I made that from scratch!
Sorry, too many carbs.
Toodles.
Locomotive response
in the subject shows
an acceleration
across quantum plane.
This creates greater
orbital overlap
between the partially
positive beta carbon
and the partially negative
hydrogen alkali group.
Thanks.
Get your school spirit on
before the big game.
10% off with your student ID.
Okay?
And we still need to pick
this year's charity.
I can say right now,
There's no way
we're doing
the special needs
art fair again.
Totally freaked my shit out.
Thoughts?
What's wrong?
Oh, I don't know...
What's wrong, Tree?
Nothing.
Except for that cat lady buffet
you just dumped at our table.
And is that chocolate milk I see?
I missed breakfast.
What is breakfast, Becky?
- Asshole!
- I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, Tree.
Wait, you two
know each other?
- Yeah.
- No!
We had uh,
a class together last year.
Look, I was
bringing you this back.
Sorry, I didn't know where you live.
You know, I...
Yeah. I'm sorry again about the-
the mess.
What a douchebag.
Dr. Morris to
outpatient services.
Dr. Morris to
outpatient services.
Yeah, it's my birthday
And now you gotta
pick up the phone
Yeah, it's my birth-
Lori.
Hi.
Hi.
Um...
So, I thought
you only worked nights.
Doing a double for Jan.
She has the flu.
That's nice of you.
So, I guess I don't need to ask
what you're doing here.
Gotta go.
Look, Tree...
It's none of my business, but...
I think something
like this is
bound to have some
pretty serious consequences.
You're right. It
is none of your business.
Dr. Cerdin, Dr. Marco in 2476
Dr. Cerdin, Dr. Marco in 2476
I can't do this today.
There's too much
going on in the building.
I have patients.
And I'm losing mine.
Gregory?
Hi, sweetie.
What's with the door?
Uh, stupid thing got jammed.
Oh, just wrapping up here.
Have you met
my student, Teresa?
No, I haven't.
Hi, it's nice to meet you.
Thank you so much
for helping me out.
This is a nice surprise.
Nathan's been acting really
strange since our big fight.
And this morning, he drove to
Atlanta for a last-minute
business meeting
about opening a new gym.
Enter.
It's weird because I've never heard
anything about it before.
But I'm trying not to
let that bring me down.
- Is that my top?
- How cute is it on me?
Whatever. Just don't get
anything on it, please.
You mean like Nick's
nutter butter?
Wow. Classy, Danielle.
What time are you
going to the party tonight?
I dunno, later.
Ugh.
Our tuition dollars at work.
Anyhoo...
Don't be too late, or all the cute
Sigma boys will be taken.
- 'kay. Byeee.
- Byeee.
Who took my hair dryer?
Crazy bitch.
Teresa, it's Dad.
I sat in that restaurant waiting
for you for over an hour.
I can't believe you would
do this to me.
Today, of all days!
Bayfield, baby!
Can't miss tonight!
Okay, you guys are hilarious!
You can come out now!
Losers.
Yo, I think your friends
went the other way.
Can I help you?
Look, weirdo, I'm not scared.
Why don't you go
try this with
one of the heffers
at Delta Gamma?
They're into cosplay.
Okay, I'm calling the cops!
Shut up!
Oh, hey, you're up.
I wasn't sure if you wanted
to sleep in or not, so.
Oh... right.
I folded your pants
for you last night
I wasn't sure if the
material gets wrinkled.
Uh...
I don't know if you
remember my name or not
You were
pretty wasted last night.
But uh...
- I'm...
- Carter.
You remembered.
Ugh. Tylenol?
What?
Uh, my head is killing me.
Do you have any Tylenol?
Oh, uh, yes.
Um...
It's over there.
Right.
It's underneath your clothes...
- on the...
- Right, right.
Thanks.
And...
It's like you've
been here before.
Are you okay?
Tree?
Are you okay?
Dude, did you hit that
fine vagine or what?
Oh.
I'm...
I'm sorry.
Nice one, dickhead.
Hey. Stop global warming? I...
Sorry, no, thanks.
- Oh.
- Oh.
Come on.
64 bottles of beer
on the wall
64 bottles of beer
Take one down,
pass it around
63 bottles of beer
on the wall
26 hours,
that's all you've got?
Keep going!
Faster!
62 bottles of beer
on the wall
62 bottles of beer
Keep going!
I can't hear you!
Hey.
You haven't returned
any of my texts.
Tim, what day is it?
Uh, Monday, the 18th.
You're sure?
I'm pretty sure.
I um...
I gotta go.
Call me?
Oh, my God.
You sneaky little biotch.
Who was it?
Sisters don't keep secrets.
I'm totally having
dj vu right now.
Oh, I have it all the time.
It's supposed to mean like
someone's thinking about you
while they're masturbating.
I have it at least
five times a day.
Seriously, I've been having it
all day. It's so weird.
Maybe you should switch to
water next time, hun.
I...yeah, thanks.
I'll keep that in mind.
What are sisters for?
Oh, uh, and don't forget.
House meeting at lunch.
Hello?
It's been on the board
since last Thursday, Tree.
Yeah... I remember. I...
She finally rolls in.
That's so weird.
You okay?
You were kind of a mess
last night.
Oh, shhit.
I'm so late for class.
Hm hm.
Did you really think you'd
keep it a secret from me?
Don't you wanna know
how I found out?
Driver's license?
Clever girl.
That picture, though.
I gotta go.
But, you didn't even
blow out the c...
Candle.
We really need to
step up our game.
And we still need to pick
this year's charity.
I can say right now,
There's no way
we're doing
the special needs
art fair again.
Get your school spirit on
before the big game.
10% off with your student ID.
What's wrong, Tree?
Um... I'm just
a little tired, I guess.
No, dumbass.
What's wrong with that?
So not Kappa cuisine.
And is that
chocolate milk I see?
I missed breakfast.
We all missed breakfast, Becky.
Becky, look out!
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry, Tree.
Wait, you two
know each other?
- Yeah.
- No!
I mean, we had a class
together last year.
That's all.
I'm sorry about all this.
Hey!
What?
My bracelet.
Oh.
You know, I'm sorry again
about the mess.
What a douchebag.
I can't do this today.
There's too much
going on in the building.
I need to talk to you.
Tree, I...
I know what you're
gonna say.
You do?
Look...
It's normal for a young girl
to have feelings
for an older man.
But you can't fall in love.
I'm not
falling in love with you.
You're not?
No. I've been having
the weirdest day...
Your wife.
Uh, that's kind of a buzz kill.
Gregory, are you in there?
Thank God
you locked the door.
Hey, sweetie.
Ah, I didn't realize
I'd locked the door, um...
Uh, just wrapping up here.
Have you met
my student, Teresa?
No.
I haven't.
Nice to meet you.
...birthday to u-u-us
Happy birthday to us
My favorite girls.
Blow it out!
There you go.
- That was us.
- Wait, I think I found a bug.
- Right there.
- Take a look.
Oh, my God!
Mom goes in for the kill!
No! Oh, no!
Don't look at me.
Well, I guess
I'm not having...
...business meeting
about opening a new gym.
I know. I'm just
borrowing it for tonight.
What time are you
going to the party?
But I'm trying not to let
that bring me down.
Hello?
Earth to space bitch.
What?
What time are you
going to the pah-ty?
Uh pff, I don't know... later.
Ugh, our tuition dollars
at work.
Okay, whoa.
Chill out. It's just another
rolling blackout, sweetie.
It happened before?
Yeah, like two weeks ago.
Anyhoo...
Don't be too late, or all the
cute Sigma boys will be taken.
Who took my hair dryer?
Teresa, it's Dad.
I sat in that restaurant
waiting for you for over an...
Bayfield, baby!
Can't miss tonight!
Uh-oh.
Whoo!
Yo, Mike, come on,
hurry up, man.
Yeah, yeah, I'm coming.
No way.
Surprise?
What the hell, Tree?
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry,
I thought that you...
I am so, so sorry, I...
Don't mess with a Kappa bitch!
Don't fail me now
Feet don't fail me now
Don't fail me now
Feet don't fail me now
Fresh suit
Alligator shoes
Did you get the news
about me?
- Yeah.
- Are you serious?
Yes.
- That slut.
- Who?
Lori.
She said she'd be here.
She's so out of the house
next year.
I think she said
she had like a double shift.
Whatevs. She's been
boning some mystery guy.
There's your stalker.
He's so hot.
- Danielle!
- What?
- That's so gross.
- Oh, okay.
Truce?
Hi.
Why were you wearing that
stupid mask anyway?
Big game's on Friday,
I just...
thought I'd show
a little school spirit.
Never thought
I'd get clocked for it.
I really am sorry.
Did you ice it?
It's fine.
You can make it up
to me later.
What?
Don't what me.
You know exactly
what you're doing, Tree.
What am I doing, Danielle?
Danielle!
Now, now
How my gunna lose?
I been movin' like this
since I was two
Down town
I'm fadin' into you
You infect me
The insects feed
on the sane
Nick?
Wow.
Shit.
Oh, shit, Nick, you scared me.
You want me to
punch you in the face again?
Welcome...
to the Pleasure Dome.
It's a little loud,
don't you think?
Okay, I'm officially over this.
Have fun in the Sahara tent.
Come on. Nick, seriously.
Danielle's like freaking out.
Help me!
Help me!
You asshole!
Is everything okay?
Yeah, it's my birthday
And now you gotta
pick up the phone
What...
I don't know if you
remember my name or not.
- You were...
- Pretty wasted?
Yeah.
And your name's Carter?
Yeah.
And we've never met before?
I mean, no,
not until last night.
Oh, my God.
This is a nightmare.
I'm sorry.
You were the one who
wanted to come home with me.
Dude, did you hit that
fine vagine?
Nice one, dickhead.
Stop global warming?
A simple 'no, thanks'
would do.
26 hours,
that's all you got?
Keep going!
62 bottles of beer
Take one down...
I can't hear you!
Hey.
You okay?
You haven't returned
any of my texts.
She finally rolls in.
Hey, you okay?
Tree?
Tree, what's wrong?
Say something.
Lori, I...
I feel like
I'm losing my mind.
I don't know
what's happening to me.
Okay...
Just calm down.
Tell me what's going on.
Look, I know this isn't
gonna make any sense.
But I have already
lived through this day.
Twice.
Tree, I uh...
No, no, no. Believe me,
I know it sounds totally crazy.
But this is happening to me.
I swear to God.
Tree, I'm sure it feels like you...
Okay, okay,
you made me a cupcake!
For my birthday, right?
You're about to give it to me.
And then later on tonight,
there's a surprise party.
Ugh. Who told you?
Was it Becky?
No, no! Nobody told me.
That's what I mean.
Don't you see?
I know what is going to happen
before it happens.
- You should...
- Lori.
Lori, somebody's
gonna kill me tonight.
Oh...
Okay.
Okay, I get it.
Who put you up to this?
- Was it Danielle?
- No! No! No!
This isn't some stupid joke!
This is actually happening to me.
I don't know
who's going to kill me.
But someone is.
I just don't know who it is yet.
Tree, you're starting
to freak me out!
Well, how do you think
I feel?
Tree, look at me.
Nobody is trying to kill you.
Yes, they are, Lori.
Tree!
Look at me.
I know that today is hard,
with your mom and all.
Why don't you skip class?
Just take the day off
and get some rest.
I promise you, you'll
feel better tomorrow.
Okay?
Let's see you
get in here now, asshole.
Tree, why is the door locked?
Um... I just need some
alone time.
What time are you
going to the party tonight?
I don't know.
Ugh.
Our tuition dollars at work.
Anyhoo...
Don't be too late, or all the cute
Sigma boys will be taken.
Okay, see you soon.
Who took my hair dryer?
...opening a new gym.
Which is weird because I've never
heard anything about it before.
But I'm trying not to
let that bring me down.
Because I'm on my way
to pick up Jace.
I'm just happy
I get to see Jace, so.
I know, it's been like
almost a month.
I'm just so excited to see you.
Where'd Lori put
the freaking remote?
Hi, Jace!
Hey, Jace!
He-ey!
- Hi.
- Hi.
I'm Barbara.
Wanna say bye to meme?
Bye.
Stay buckled,
have a good time...
G-48
Ain't that great.
G-48.
I don't know what's
going on with you
and that other guy, okay.
...is being treated
for a gunshot wound
following a deadly
shootout this morning
that left one officer dead.
Tombs was the subject of...
- Aah!
- ...boring hairstyle?
Do you go through
a can of hairspray
trying to get that
full-volumized look?
Then bump it up
with Bumpits!
And get that salon-style look.
Flat to fabulous, instantly
Imagine being able to
create today's hot...
What's wrong?
What's going on?
Yeah, it's my birthday
And now you gotta
pick up the phone
- Ow!
- Tree, are you okay?
- Are you sick?
- Shut up!
Shut up! Shut up!
Shut uuuup!
Oh, my God, make it stop!
Make it stop!
- Make it stop!
- Are you okay?
Get away from me!
All right.
Come on, just...
Stop global warming.
- Oh.
- Oh.
Keep going!
62 bottles of beer
You can take one down,
pass it around
61 bottles of beer
on the wall
Harder!
61 bottles of beer
on the wall
You take one down,
pass it around
I can't hear you!
I'm sorry.
You forgot your stuff.
Help me.
Will you please stop
staring at me
like I took a dump
on your mom's head?
I'm sorry. I'm just tryna
wrap my brain around this.
How's that going for you?
Assuming that I believe any of
this is even remotely possible...
There has to be a reason
you're stuck in this day.
Out of all the days in your life,
what makes this day special?
What gives this day meaning?
- Nothing.
- Yeah, it's my birthday
And now you gotta
pick up the phone
Its' your birthday?
- Yeah.
- Hello?
So? Birthdays are just
excuses to like
eat cake and open presents.
There's no real meaning...
No, it's symbolic
Okay? Whoever's killing you
knows it's your birthday.
Ew.
All right, look.
Give me a list of names
of everybody who knows
it's your birthday
and whoever's trying to kill you.
Well, thanks to my sorority,
pretty much the entire school
knows it's my birthday.
God, they're throwing me this
stupid surprise party tonight.
I mean, it literally
could be anyone.
I mean, who has motive?
Okay, maybe it's Danielle.
All right.
Apparently, I made out
with some guy she liked
right in front of her
last night.
Oh.
Must've been before we met.
Busy night.
Okay, Mister I'm-gonna-
take-this-drunk-girl-home-
and-take-advantage-of-her.
Don't judge.
For the record, I didn't take
advantage of you last night.
Okay? I slept on Ryan's bed.
So, we didn't?
- Have s...
- No!
You were wasted last night.
You know, I was afraid
you were gonna fall or
choke on your own vomit
like Janis Joplin.
Uh, what were we...?
- Suspects.
- Right, suspects.
Um, okay so, Danielle.
Pfff... Gregory?
Um... his wife.
Creepy Tim.
Ooh, that tiny girl from T.J. Maxx
that I got fired.
And maybe the Uber driver
that I spit on last week.
I think his name was...
what?
Nobody's perfect.
Okay, this isn't helping.
This is pointless, isn't it?
All right, look,
the way I see it, is, is...
You have unlimited
amount of lives.
So, you have unlimited opportunities
to solve your own murder.
So, I'm just
supposed to keep
dying unitl I figure out
who my killer is?
That's your genius plan?
Do you have a better idea?
Ha
It's time for me to take it
I'm the boss right now
Not gonna fake it
Not when you go down
'Cause this is my game
And you better come to play
I used to hold my freak back
Now I'm letting go
I make my own choice
Bitch, I run this show
So leave the lights on
No, you can't make me behave
Oh, oh, oh
So you say I'm complicated
That I must be outta my mind
But you had me underrated
Rated, rated
Uh uh huh
What's wrong with being,
what's wrong with being
What's wrong with being confident?
Uh uh huh
What's wrong with being,
what's wrong with being
What's wrong with being confident?
Uh uh huh
It's time to get the chains out
Is your tongue tied up?
'Cause this is my ground
And I'm dangerous
And you can get out
But it's all about me tonight
So you say I'm complicated
It's so exhausting.
Asshole.
But you had me underrated
You bitch!
I knew it was you!
Come here!
Get off me!
I'm gonna kill you!
What's wrong with being confident?
Uh uh huh
Uh, uh-uh
Yeaah, eh eh ah
So you say I'm complicated
But you had me underrated
Uh uh huh
What's wrong with being,
what's wrong with being
What's wrong with being confident?
Ooh, yeah
Oh, my God!
Becky?
Becky!
Becky!
Becky!
- Shut up!
- Ow!
Yeah, it's my birthday
And now you gotta pick up...
Oh, hey.
You're up.
I wasn't sure if you wanted to
sleep in or...
Your plan totally sucks.
What?
I don't know if you remember
my name or not.
You know, you were
pretty wasted last night.
Um, but I'm Carter.
Are you okay?
Never better.
Are you sure you're okay?
I'm fine.
Dude, did you hit that
fine vagine, or what?
Sup, hey...
Um, I'm sorry to bother
you guys, uh...
How's it go?
I had to sleep in my car, so...
Carter, please,
a little help.
Carter!
Tree.
Hey, hey, hey, calm down.
I-It's just me.
How you doing?
Wh-what happened?
You collapsed this morning.
What day is it?
It's Monday.
What's the date?
Uh, it's the 18th.
Oh, we've been trying to get
in contact with your parents.
But for some reason...
- Jeez!
- Can I help you?
Uh, I'm just checkin' on her.
It's okay. He's a friend.
Sorry, visiting hours are over.
Got it.
Thanks, Carter.
Feel better.
When can I get out of here?
I'm having a hard time
pulling your medical records.
Why?
We just got these
back from imaging.
These are signs of major trauma.
Given the severity of the scar tissue
and the size of the lesions,
This is gonna sound crazy, but...
technically, you should be dead.
Hey, hey, hey,
what are you doing?
I need to get out of here.
No way, no. You need to
stay here for observation.
If I don't get out of here,
I'm gonna die.
Tree, shh, listen to me.
You are absolutely safe here.
Okay.
I won't let anything
happen to you.
I'm really thirsty.
Could you get me a soda?
Sure.
Thank you.
Special delivery.
Keys, keys, keys...
Greg, where are
the car keys, come on!
Tree, Tree, it's okay.
It's okay, it's just me.
Gregory, look out!
Come on, come on, come on!
I did it.
I did it!
I did it!
Whoo!
Yeah!
Catch me now, bitch!
Whoo!
What?
Oh, no, no, no!
Come on!
No!
Oh, shit!
Shit, shit, shit.
I know I was
speeding, officer, I just...
Turn off the engine, please.
Yes, officer.
License and registration.
I um...
I don't have it.
- Pardon me?
- He's trying to kill me again.
- Again?
- Yes.
I mean, no, I...
He was trying before,
but this time I got away.
But I-I didn't have time
to grab my clothes
and my driver's license
is in my pocket.
Ma'am, are you under
the influence of alcohol
or any other controlled substance?
No! That is
what I am trying to...
Wait.
If I am, does that mean
that you're going to arrest me
and lock me in a jail cell?
That's how it usually works.
I'm drunk.
- You are?
- Wasted.
And I'm high.
You know, pills, weed.
You name it, man,
I'm on it.
Um, well...
Then I'm gonna put you
under arrest.
That's a good idea.
Let me help you.
Uh, all right.
Never been arrested before.
Uh-huh.
Thank you!
All units who have got a way
to 78 University Hospital,
Suspect is...
Shit.
Oh, God, get me out!
Get me out, get me out!
What do you want?!
Why are you
doing this to me?
Who are you?
Show your face, you pussy!
Where are you going?
Oh, shit!
Oh, fuck.
Oh, hey. You're up.
Silence!
Yeah, it's my birthday
And now you gotta
pick up the phone
What, you've been here before?
Hey, uh, you know, I don't think you
should be taking that many...
I mean you could...
you could die.
If only it were that easy.
Water, por favor, mhm.
Dude, did you hit that...
Hi, I'm the so-called
"fine vagine".
If that's the way
you refer to girls,
you and your hand
are going to have
a very lasting relationship.
Have a nice day.
What?
I mean, are you-you always
this charming in the morning?
Just this one.
So, you having a bad dream
or something?
Sorry?
You were just screamin'
before you woke up.
Well... I was dying.
Again.
What?
Uh, it's a long story.
Well, I mean,
I got, you know, time.
I'm not doing
anything today if you wanna.
Seriously.
I hate this sticker.
Hey, wait!
Why are you following me?
I wanna hear your story.
Look, no offense,
but the last time
I explained it to you,
it got me nowhere. So.
The last time?
Hey.
So you-you're having bad dreams.
I took an elective course on
neurocognition and dream content.
Hooray for you.
I'm just saying, I...
I might be able to help,
you know.
Can you help me stop
reliving the same day
over and over
only to be murdered
by someone I may
or may not know?
Yup. Thought so.
Stop global warming?
So, wait, you literally think
you're reliving the same day?
Yup.
And somebody kills you?
Yup again.
All right, come on, you're
just messin' with me, right?
Sprinklers.
Car alarm.
Now, see that
pledge over there,
the one in the baseball hat?
He's going to fall
right now.
Keep going!
Any questions?
- How are your fries? Hmm.
- Yeah, they're good.
That's impressive.
Hmm. That was nothing.
Did you get it all out?
Whatever.
You won't remember it, anyway.
Yeah, it's my birthday
And now you gotta
pick up the phone
It's your birthday?
it's my birthday
Can't you just leave...
It's your dad. You wanna-
wanna get that?
I was never close to my dad.
Can't even remember
the last time
he called me on my birthday.
He kinda always forgets.
Yeah. I'm supposed
to be with mine.
I don't know, I couldn't bear
the thought of sitting through
another uncomfortable celebration
while we both pretend
that everything is awesome.
Are you closer with your mom?
Was.
What happened?
Oh, she...
Yeah.
Three years ago.
I'm sorry.
That-that sucks.
Yeah.
We actually share
the same birthday, though.
Seriously? That's crazy.
You know, when I was a kid,
I always got to skip school.
We'd go to the beach.
My dad would buy us this like
huge birthday cake.
And put just one candle on it.
We'd blow it out together.
I bet you miss her.
Yeah.
You know, it's funny,
you relive the same day
over and over again
you kind of start to see
who you really are.
If my mom saw me now,
and who I've become,
I don't think
she'd be very proud.
Don't say that.
It's true.
I'm not a good person, Carter.
Maybe it's karma,
maybe I deserve it.
Well, look, I don't
know you all that well, but...
It's never too late to change.
I mean, especially if
what you're saying is true,
Each new day is
it's a chance to be
somebody better.
See, that's just it.
I don't think I have
that many chances left.
I keep on getting weaker
every time I come back.
You know, maybe I'm like that
cat with nine lives.
Eventually, I'm gonna run out.
Let's go live now to
Bayfield University Hospital
Where Jennifer Trite has the latest
on this developing situation.
I'm standing outside the
Bayfield University Hospital
where suspected murderer
John Tombs
is being treated for a gunshot wound
Can you turn that up, please?
that left one officer dead.
Tombs was the subject
of a nationwide manhunt
What's goin' on?
across four state lines
Tree?
that left six female victims.
Authorities are still not sure
if Tombs is responsible
Oh, my God.
for various victims
he claims to have buried
- across the vast desert...
- He's been here the whole time.
What? Tree!
Hey...
Tree!
He's going to escape.
Call the police.
Who?
John Tombs.
Just call the police.
What?
Wait, don't go in there!
Shit.
Excuse me,
what are you doing?
He has a gun.
He has a gun, run!
Come on. Come on.
Hey!
Carter!
Stop!
Stop it! Right now!
Hey!
No.
Carter!
There's nowhere to hide,
little girl!
Carter.
I don't reset this day,
he's gone forever.
You should've killed me
when you had the chance.
Come on,
olly olly oxen free.
Hey!
See you soon, asshole.
Yeah, it's my birthday
Oh, hey, you're up.
I wasn't sure if you wanna...
I can't believe you
tried to save my life.
Thank you so much!
Yeah, yeah, no biggie.
I just, you know,
brought you home.
Uh, I don't know if you
remember my name.
Carter.
Yeah.
Oh!
Do you mind
if I borrow this?
Uh, y-yeah. Sure.
See you at lunch.
Dude, did you hit that
fine vagine, or what?
You naughty, naughty boy!
Fine vagine out!
What just happened?
I've got my love stuck
in my thoughts
In my thoughts
I left my love out
in the cold
- Hi, stop global warming?
- Sure.
You save that planet, girl.
I've got to give my love
Yo, sprinklers about to go on.
My angel flew away
You're welcome.
I didn't know how
to keep her
Heaven knows
I needed her to stay
I hope she spreads her wings
I can't hear you!
Slouching on a sunbeam
And dancing to a song
I couldn't sing
But if I saw her on the street
I'd say
My baby, fly back to me
Oh, Tim!
I know you're back there.
Hey, Tim.
- Hey.
- Hi.
Uh, you haven't returned
any of my texts.
Look, Tim.
Let's get real.
I know you don't like girls.
Stop trying to be
someone you're not.
Love is love, right?
Now you go out there
and get yourself a
fine piece of man ass.
'Cause I've got my love stuck
in my head
In my head
I've got to give my love
To my soul
And let go
Oh
Good morning!
And let go
Oh, my God.
You sneaky little biotch.
His name's Carter.
No, we did not have sex.
But, if I finally make it
through this day somehow,
I'm gonna have his babies.
Lots to do. Gotta go.
She finally rolls in.
What's wrong?
- Ugh.
- Oh, nothing. I was...
Look, Lori.
I have been
the worst roommate.
You've always
been there for me
but I've been way too selfish
to even appreciate it.
Can we start over?
I promise not to be
such a loser.
Are you high?
On life.
Oh, by the way, phone you
about this mystery guy.
When extreme agitation occurs,
the locomotive response
in the subject
shows an accelaration...
Dr. Butler.
Can I have a word, please?
What the hell do...
What the hell
do you think you're doing?
I'm ending this.
Wait. What?
I never should've
started seeing you.
It was wrong.
And I...
Anyway, I can't change
what I've done, but
I can start trying to be
a better person today.
What lame little self-help book
did you get that from?
You know what, you have a wife
who loves you so much.
So, if you can't be faithful to her,
at least have the balls to leave.
Don't expect me to let you
coast by my class now.
Already dropped it.
I just have to say
how totally sad
and disappointing it is
when certain people
can't be bothered
to make it to a
mandatory House meeting.
We were supposed to be
picking this year's charity.
Becky...
Is that chocolate milk I see?
I skipped breakfast.
Oh!
Mmm, mmm.
Mmm, guys, it's so good.
What's up with the fat fest?
We're Kappas.
Come on, hun, live a little.
A few calories won't kill ya.
No. It'll just turn me
into a chunker.
Like Becky here.
Wait.
Oh, my God!
It'll be okay.
Hey, Tree.
Hey.
I just uh, came on by to...
What was that for?
I have to run, but what
are you doing later tonight?
Nothing.
Do you wanna take me out
for my birthday?
What's the punchline?
Look, I know
it's really random, but...
I promise I'll explain
everything tomorrow.
Assuming there is one.
Just say yes.
All right, yeah.
Cool.
Okay.
Excuse me.
Can I pay for
my coffee, please?
- You're not gonna eat?
- No, just the check, please.
I'll be right back.
Hi, Daddy. Sorry I'm late.
Like your tie.
Thanks.
How's school?
Fine.
You like your classes?
They're fine, Dad.
I don't wanna do that anymore.
Do what?
Small talk.
It's just that
this day
this day is really hard for me.
And um...
I miss Mom.
You know, miss her so much.
I miss the way that she smells.
I miss that
crazy horse laugh she has.
Yeah, me too.
And I... I guess I thought that if
I avoided all of it,
or avoided you that somehow
it would be easier.
But it's not.
It's been so much worse.
All of this running and hiding
has made me so miserable.
And I think I finally
figured it out.
I mean, it took something
like totally crazy, but...
But I'm here.
And I love you.
And I am so, so sorry
that I hurt you.
Happy birthday, baby.
Stay calm.
I need you to stand up.
Slowly.
Slowly.
Okay, good.
I guess this is a
really bad idea.
Well, so is dying
for the 16th time.
Okay.
Now, turn around.
I need you to listen to me.
He's going to escape.
We could talk about this,
just put the gun down.
He is going to escape.
Go get help.
- Go!
- Okay.
I know you're not asleep.
Open your eyes.
Safety's on, little girl.
Uh-uh
Look what we have here.
Mmm?
You know,
It's a real nice surprise
you comin' and visit me like this.
Hoo.
I like you.
Damn shame.
You're a feisty little shit,
ain't ya?
That's right, crawl,
little girl, crawl.
Don't worry.
I'll just make this one
real quick for ya, okay?
Hey!
Safety's off.
Thanks for the tip.
Who took my hair dryer?
So this has gotta be like
the strangest birthday
you've ever had, huh?
You have no idea.
Did you ever figure out
how Tombs got free?
No. No one knows.
It's kinda like Houdini.
Yeah, I guess.
What are you gonna wish for?
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow?
What, is that kind of a given?
Aiming for anything higher?
Nah.
Tomorrow's good enough for me.
Shut up!
Yeah, it's my birthday
And now you gotta
pick up the phone
Oh, hey, you're up.
Carter?
Yeah. I'm surprised
you remember my name.
You were pretty wasted
last night.
This can't be happening.
- This can't be happening.
- What?
I killed him!
I stopped it!
Who?
What are you talkin' about?
What's goin' on?
I mean, look, you were
probably just having a
bad dream or something.
Like it happens to me
all the time
when I'm dreaming,
you know, I...
Nice one, dickhead.
She finally rolls in.
Going somewhere?
Yes.
As far away as possible.
Tree, what's wrong?
Me.
I was wrong.
I thought that if I stopped running
that I could beat it.
But it's never gonna stop.
Tree, you're freaking me out.
Oh, well, that's me,
a freak!
Tree.
Tree, look.
Happy birthday.
Thanks. But I
already ate it last night.
Oh, my God.
I died in my sleep.
What?
You killed me.
What?
You poisoned it.
But I never ate it before.
So you had to find
another way.
Then Tombs fell
right into your lap.
Perfect scapegoat.
You had access to him.
Did you drug him first?
You knew that if he escaped,
everyone would assume
that he killed me.
But it was always you.
Tree, are...
Is this a joke?
You think I would actually
try to poison you
with a freaking cupcake?
Okay then.
Prove it.
Go on, Lori.
Take a bite.
Go on, Lori.
You really are crazy.
Okay then.
I'll take it down
to the police.
I'm sure they can tell us
what your little
birthday treat is made of.
You stupid little whore.
I know I've been
a bad roommate, but...
Isn't this a bit much?
What the hell?
Oh, I don't know.
Maybe because you wouldn't
stop sleeping with him.
What?
Gregory?
But he just kept choosing you
over me.
I guess all he wanted
was a cheap slut like you!
Wait, you've been killing me
over some stupid guy?
Oh, that's not the only reason.
You're a dumb bitch, too!
What I really wanna know is,
How did you figure it out?
Because you've killed me before.
Then I guess I'm just
gonna have to do it again.
Stop.
No! Bitch!
Fuck you.
No!
What the hell's going on in there?
Nothing. Tree just fell.
Everything's fine.
Whatever.
Clumsy hos.
I better see you
at the meeting today.
We'll be there.
Eat it, bitch!
What are you losers
doing in there?
Lori
ate
my cupcake.
I just knew there was
something wrong with Lori.
She never wore makeup.
Never posted any cute selfies.
And she literally
owned a pair of Crocs.
All the signs
of a psycho killer would...
Hello?
I'm trying to get
interviewed here.
Oh, my God, she is such a tool.
Anyhoo...
Lori's little plot was super lame.
Poisoning a cupcake?
Really?
We're Kappas.
We don't eat cupcakes.
Is this local or national?
Local.
- Hey, Dad. Dad.
- Tree, are you okay?
- Are you hurt?
- Dad, no, Dad. I'm fine.
I promise.
- Are you sure?
- Yeah.
Just a little scratched up.
- All right.
- Okay. I'll see you soon.
- I love you.
- I love you, too. Bye.
So uh, now that your
bedroom is officially
a crime scene and all.
Where are you
planning on crashing?
Is that an invitation?
You sure you wanna wake up
in the dorm room again?
Only if it's yours.
Only of course, you'll have to
sleep in Ryan's bed.
- Of course.
- Yeah.
We can, you know...
Oh, uh...
I almost forgot.
You left this little guy.
Thanks.
Hey, you know what your
little scenario reminds me of?
- What?
- Uh...
- What's that?
- Groundhog Day.
The movie Groundhog Day?
- I don't know.
- with Bill Murray?
Who's Bill Murray?
Are you kidding me?
Ghostbusters.
Sorry.
- I... I don't know.
- How do you sleep at night?
You've never seen
Groundhog Day?
No.
In walked old misery
Yeah, it's my birthday
And now you gotta
pick up the phone
Oh, hey, you're up.
Yeah, it's my birthday
I wasn't sure if you wanted to uh,
sleep in or not.
I'm kidding.
It was...
It was me.
I just called your phone.
What?
It's Tuesday, the 19th.
You made it.
Oh, my God.
You are such a jerk!
I'm gonna kill you.
- Hey, that's not fair.
- What is wrong with you?
That was not funny!
You are such a punk!
I hate y...
She's back?
Out.
I'm not sleeping
in my car again.
It smells like
Hot Pockets and feet.
- Get out.
- I just want clean underwear!
I've been smoking
on the peace pipe
I've been wondering just
what would peace be like
I've been staring into headlights
Swallow me whole,
finding my peace of mind
I'm just trying
to seize the moment
Trying to love the little things
Even if they're hard to love
A monument to love unspoken
Carved into stone,
unwilling to come undone
It feels good to be
running from the devil
Another breath
and I'm up another level
It feels good to be
up above the clouds
It feels good for the first time
in a long time now
It feels good for the first time
in a long time to be me
It feels good for the first time
in a while I'm free
I'm high, staring at the ceiling
Sending my love,
what a wonderful feeling
What comes next,
I see a light
I'm along for the ride
as I'm taking flight
Oh, hey, you're up.
I wasn't sure if you wanted to
sleep in or not, so.
Am I in a dorm room?
Uh... yeah.
Yeah, it's my birthday
And now you gotta
pick up the phone
Ugh.
Where are my clothes?
On the dresser.
I folded your pants
last night.
And I wasn't sure
if that material
gets wrinkled.
Great.
Uh...
Don't know if you
remember my name or not.
Uh, pretty wasted last night
- Got Tylenol?
- What?
Ugh. My head is killing me.
Do you have any Tylenol?
Yes...
I do.
Uh, sorry.
Thanks.
I'm Carter.
By the way.
Not a word of this to anyone.
Got it?
Yeah.
Sure.
Dude, you hit that fine
vagine or what?
Nice one, dickhead.
Hey.
Stop global warming?
- Oh!
- Oh!
Come on.
63 bottles of beer
on the wall.
26 hours,
that's all you got?
I can't hear you!
62 bottles of beer
Take one down,
pass it around
Keep going!
Hey.
Hi.
You haven't
returned any of my texts.
Yeah. Sorry, I've been busy.
Yeah. I can see that.
Okay, Tim, we went on
a date.
One.
I don't have to text you back.
We're not like a thing.
Okay. I just...
You know, I figured
we had a nice time.
You had a nice time.
I was miserable.
I mean, who takes
their first date to Subway?
It's not like you
have a footlong.
Does this look
infected to you?
Someone drank my booze.
It's open!
Oh, my God.
You sneaky little biotch.
Who was it?
Nobody.
Sisters don't keep secrets.
Seriously, it was nobody.
Well, I hope nobody
used a condom.
We don't want somebody
looking like a whore.
Thanks, Danielle.
Super helpful.
What are sisters for?
Oh, and don't forget.
House meeting at lunch.
Living for it.
She finally rolls in.
Did I totally embarrass
myself last night?
Not at all.
Unless you consider
dancing on a table,
starting two fights,
and barfing pretzel chunks
all over the bar embarrassing.
Please, tell me you're kidding.
Oh, and you also rammed
your tongue down Nick Sims' throat
right in front of Danielle.
Oh, God, but she was so
nice to me this morning.
Yeah, I think she was
as drunk as you last night.
So, consider it collective amnesia.
Thank God for that.
Oh, crap.
I'm so late for class.
Can't find my damn book!
Ha!
Hm hm.
Did you really think you could
keep it a secret from me?
How did you find out?
Driver's license.
Not the best picture,
I might add.
I assume you
changed my ringer too.
Who me?
Never.
What'd you wish for?
A new roommate.
Wench.
I made that from scratch!
Sorry, too many carbs.
Toodles.
Locomotive response
in the subject shows
an acceleration
across quantum plane.
This creates greater
orbital overlap
between the partially
positive beta carbon
and the partially negative
hydrogen alkali group.
Thanks.
Get your school spirit on
before the big game.
10% off with your student ID.
Okay?
And we still need to pick
this year's charity.
I can say right now,
There's no way
we're doing
the special needs
art fair again.
Totally freaked my shit out.
Thoughts?
What's wrong?
Oh, I don't know...
What's wrong, Tree?
Nothing.
Except for that cat lady buffet
you just dumped at our table.
And is that chocolate milk I see?
I missed breakfast.
What is breakfast, Becky?
- Asshole!
- I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, Tree.
Wait, you two
know each other?
- Yeah.
- No!
We had uh,
a class together last year.
Look, I was
bringing you this back.
Sorry, I didn't know where you live.
You know, I...
Yeah. I'm sorry again about the-
the mess.
What a douchebag.
Dr. Morris to
outpatient services.
Dr. Morris to
outpatient services.
Yeah, it's my birthday
And now you gotta
pick up the phone
Yeah, it's my birth-
Lori.
Hi.
Hi.
Um...
So, I thought
you only worked nights.
Doing a double for Jan.
She has the flu.
That's nice of you.
So, I guess I don't need to ask
what you're doing here.
Gotta go.
Look, Tree...
It's none of my business, but...
I think something
like this is
bound to have some
pretty serious consequences.
You're right. It
is none of your business.
Dr. Cerdin, Dr. Marco in 2476
Dr. Cerdin, Dr. Marco in 2476
I can't do this today.
There's too much
going on in the building.
I have patients.
And I'm losing mine.
Gregory?
Hi, sweetie.
What's with the door?
Uh, stupid thing got jammed.
Oh, just wrapping up here.
Have you met
my student, Teresa?
No, I haven't.
Hi, it's nice to meet you.
Thank you so much
for helping me out.
This is a nice surprise.
Nathan's been acting really
strange since our big fight.
And this morning, he drove to
Atlanta for a last-minute
business meeting
about opening a new gym.
Enter.
It's weird because I've never heard
anything about it before.
But I'm trying not to
let that bring me down.
- Is that my top?
- How cute is it on me?
Whatever. Just don't get
anything on it, please.
You mean like Nick's
nutter butter?
Wow. Classy, Danielle.
What time are you
going to the party tonight?
I dunno, later.
Ugh.
Our tuition dollars at work.
Anyhoo...
Don't be too late, or all the cute
Sigma boys will be taken.
- 'kay. Byeee.
- Byeee.
Who took my hair dryer?
Crazy bitch.
Teresa, it's Dad.
I sat in that restaurant waiting
for you for over an hour.
I can't believe you would
do this to me.
Today, of all days!
Bayfield, baby!
Can't miss tonight!
Okay, you guys are hilarious!
You can come out now!
Losers.
Yo, I think your friends
went the other way.
Can I help you?
Look, weirdo, I'm not scared.
Why don't you go
try this with
one of the heffers
at Delta Gamma?
They're into cosplay.
Okay, I'm calling the cops!
Shut up!
Oh, hey, you're up.
I wasn't sure if you wanted
to sleep in or not, so.
Oh... right.
I folded your pants
for you last night
I wasn't sure if the
material gets wrinkled.
Uh...
I don't know if you
remember my name or not
You were
pretty wasted last night.
But uh...
- I'm...
- Carter.
You remembered.
Ugh. Tylenol?
What?
Uh, my head is killing me.
Do you have any Tylenol?
Oh, uh, yes.
Um...
It's over there.
Right.
It's underneath your clothes...
- on the...
- Right, right.
Thanks.
And...
It's like you've
been here before.
Are you okay?
Tree?
Are you okay?
Dude, did you hit that
fine vagine or what?
Oh.
I'm...
I'm sorry.
Nice one, dickhead.
Hey. Stop global warming? I...
Sorry, no, thanks.
- Oh.
- Oh.
Come on.
64 bottles of beer
on the wall
64 bottles of beer
Take one down,
pass it around
63 bottles of beer
on the wall
26 hours,
that's all you've got?
Keep going!
Faster!
62 bottles of beer
on the wall
62 bottles of beer
Keep going!
I can't hear you!
Hey.
You haven't returned
any of my texts.
Tim, what day is it?
Uh, Monday, the 18th.
You're sure?
I'm pretty sure.
I um...
I gotta go.
Call me?
Oh, my God.
You sneaky little biotch.
Who was it?
Sisters don't keep secrets.
I'm totally having
dj vu right now.
Oh, I have it all the time.
It's supposed to mean like
someone's thinking about you
while they're masturbating.
I have it at least
five times a day.
Seriously, I've been having it
all day. It's so weird.
Maybe you should switch to
water next time, hun.
I...yeah, thanks.
I'll keep that in mind.
What are sisters for?
Oh, uh, and don't forget.
House meeting at lunch.
Hello?
It's been on the board
since last Thursday, Tree.
Yeah... I remember. I...
She finally rolls in.
That's so weird.
You okay?
You were kind of a mess
last night.
Oh, shhit.
I'm so late for class.
Hm hm.
Did you really think you'd
keep it a secret from me?
Don't you wanna know
how I found out?
Driver's license?
Clever girl.
That picture, though.
I gotta go.
But, you didn't even
blow out the c...
Candle.
We really need to
step up our game.
And we still need to pick
this year's charity.
I can say right now,
There's no way
we're doing
the special needs
art fair again.
Get your school spirit on
before the big game.
10% off with your student ID.
What's wrong, Tree?
Um... I'm just
a little tired, I guess.
No, dumbass.
What's wrong with that?
So not Kappa cuisine.
And is that
chocolate milk I see?
I missed breakfast.
We all missed breakfast, Becky.
Becky, look out!
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry, Tree.
Wait, you two
know each other?
- Yeah.
- No!
I mean, we had a class
together last year.
That's all.
I'm sorry about all this.
Hey!
What?
My bracelet.
Oh.
You know, I'm sorry again
about the mess.
What a douchebag.
I can't do this today.
There's too much
going on in the building.
I need to talk to you.
Tree, I...
I know what you're
gonna say.
You do?
Look...
It's normal for a young girl
to have feelings
for an older man.
But you can't fall in love.
I'm not
falling in love with you.
You're not?
No. I've been having
the weirdest day...
Your wife.
Uh, that's kind of a buzz kill.
Gregory, are you in there?
Thank God
you locked the door.
Hey, sweetie.
Ah, I didn't realize
I'd locked the door, um...
Uh, just wrapping up here.
Have you met
my student, Teresa?
No.
I haven't.
Nice to meet you.
...birthday to u-u-us
Happy birthday to us
My favorite girls.
Blow it out!
There you go.
- That was us.
- Wait, I think I found a bug.
- Right there.
- Take a look.
Oh, my God!
Mom goes in for the kill!
No! Oh, no!
Don't look at me.
Well, I guess
I'm not having...
...business meeting
about opening a new gym.
I know. I'm just
borrowing it for tonight.
What time are you
going to the party?
But I'm trying not to let
that bring me down.
Hello?
Earth to space bitch.
What?
What time are you
going to the pah-ty?
Uh pff, I don't know... later.
Ugh, our tuition dollars
at work.
Okay, whoa.
Chill out. It's just another
rolling blackout, sweetie.
It happened before?
Yeah, like two weeks ago.
Anyhoo...
Don't be too late, or all the
cute Sigma boys will be taken.
Who took my hair dryer?
Teresa, it's Dad.
I sat in that restaurant
waiting for you for over an...
Bayfield, baby!
Can't miss tonight!
Uh-oh.
Whoo!
Yo, Mike, come on,
hurry up, man.
Yeah, yeah, I'm coming.
No way.
Surprise?
What the hell, Tree?
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry,
I thought that you...
I am so, so sorry, I...
Don't mess with a Kappa bitch!
Don't fail me now
Feet don't fail me now
Don't fail me now
Feet don't fail me now
Fresh suit
Alligator shoes
Did you get the news
about me?
- Yeah.
- Are you serious?
Yes.
- That slut.
- Who?
Lori.
She said she'd be here.
She's so out of the house
next year.
I think she said
she had like a double shift.
Whatevs. She's been
boning some mystery guy.
There's your stalker.
He's so hot.
- Danielle!
- What?
- That's so gross.
- Oh, okay.
Truce?
Hi.
Why were you wearing that
stupid mask anyway?
Big game's on Friday,
I just...
thought I'd show
a little school spirit.
Never thought
I'd get clocked for it.
I really am sorry.
Did you ice it?
It's fine.
You can make it up
to me later.
What?
Don't what me.
You know exactly
what you're doing, Tree.
What am I doing, Danielle?
Danielle!
Now, now
How my gunna lose?
I been movin' like this
since I was two
Down town
I'm fadin' into you
You infect me
The insects feed
on the sane
Nick?
Wow.
Shit.
Oh, shit, Nick, you scared me.
You want me to
punch you in the face again?
Welcome...
to the Pleasure Dome.
It's a little loud,
don't you think?
Okay, I'm officially over this.
Have fun in the Sahara tent.
Come on. Nick, seriously.
Danielle's like freaking out.
Help me!
Help me!
You asshole!
Is everything okay?
Yeah, it's my birthday
And now you gotta
pick up the phone
What...
I don't know if you
remember my name or not.
- You were...
- Pretty wasted?
Yeah.
And your name's Carter?
Yeah.
And we've never met before?
I mean, no,
not until last night.
Oh, my God.
This is a nightmare.
I'm sorry.
You were the one who
wanted to come home with me.
Dude, did you hit that
fine vagine?
Nice one, dickhead.
Stop global warming?
A simple 'no, thanks'
would do.
26 hours,
that's all you got?
Keep going!
62 bottles of beer
Take one down...
I can't hear you!
Hey.
You okay?
You haven't returned
any of my texts.
She finally rolls in.
Hey, you okay?
Tree?
Tree, what's wrong?
Say something.
Lori, I...
I feel like
I'm losing my mind.
I don't know
what's happening to me.
Okay...
Just calm down.
Tell me what's going on.
Look, I know this isn't
gonna make any sense.
But I have already
lived through this day.
Twice.
Tree, I uh...
No, no, no. Believe me,
I know it sounds totally crazy.
But this is happening to me.
I swear to God.
Tree, I'm sure it feels like you...
Okay, okay,
you made me a cupcake!
For my birthday, right?
You're about to give it to me.
And then later on tonight,
there's a surprise party.
Ugh. Who told you?
Was it Becky?
No, no! Nobody told me.
That's what I mean.
Don't you see?
I know what is going to happen
before it happens.
- You should...
- Lori.
Lori, somebody's
gonna kill me tonight.
Oh...
Okay.
Okay, I get it.
Who put you up to this?
- Was it Danielle?
- No! No! No!
This isn't some stupid joke!
This is actually happening to me.
I don't know
who's going to kill me.
But someone is.
I just don't know who it is yet.
Tree, you're starting
to freak me out!
Well, how do you think
I feel?
Tree, look at me.
Nobody is trying to kill you.
Yes, they are, Lori.
Tree!
Look at me.
I know that today is hard,
with your mom and all.
Why don't you skip class?
Just take the day off
and get some rest.
I promise you, you'll
feel better tomorrow.
Okay?
Let's see you
get in here now, asshole.
Tree, why is the door locked?
Um... I just need some
alone time.
What time are you
going to the party tonight?
I don't know.
Ugh.
Our tuition dollars at work.
Anyhoo...
Don't be too late, or all the cute
Sigma boys will be taken.
Okay, see you soon.
Who took my hair dryer?
...opening a new gym.
Which is weird because I've never
heard anything about it before.
But I'm trying not to
let that bring me down.
Because I'm on my way
to pick up Jace.
I'm just happy
I get to see Jace, so.
I know, it's been like
almost a month.
I'm just so excited to see you.
Where'd Lori put
the freaking remote?
Hi, Jace!
Hey, Jace!
He-ey!
- Hi.
- Hi.
I'm Barbara.
Wanna say bye to meme?
Bye.
Stay buckled,
have a good time...
G-48
Ain't that great.
G-48.
I don't know what's
going on with you
and that other guy, okay.
...is being treated
for a gunshot wound
following a deadly
shootout this morning
that left one officer dead.
Tombs was the subject of...
- Aah!
- ...boring hairstyle?
Do you go through
a can of hairspray
trying to get that
full-volumized look?
Then bump it up
with Bumpits!
And get that salon-style look.
Flat to fabulous, instantly
Imagine being able to
create today's hot...
What's wrong?
What's going on?
Yeah, it's my birthday
And now you gotta
pick up the phone
- Ow!
- Tree, are you okay?
- Are you sick?
- Shut up!
Shut up! Shut up!
Shut uuuup!
Oh, my God, make it stop!
Make it stop!
- Make it stop!
- Are you okay?
Get away from me!
All right.
Come on, just...
Stop global warming.
- Oh.
- Oh.
Keep going!
62 bottles of beer
You can take one down,
pass it around
61 bottles of beer
on the wall
Harder!
61 bottles of beer
on the wall
You take one down,
pass it around
I can't hear you!
I'm sorry.
You forgot your stuff.
Help me.
Will you please stop
staring at me
like I took a dump
on your mom's head?
I'm sorry. I'm just tryna
wrap my brain around this.
How's that going for you?
Assuming that I believe any of
this is even remotely possible...
There has to be a reason
you're stuck in this day.
Out of all the days in your life,
what makes this day special?
What gives this day meaning?
- Nothing.
- Yeah, it's my birthday
And now you gotta
pick up the phone
Its' your birthday?
- Yeah.
- Hello?
So? Birthdays are just
excuses to like
eat cake and open presents.
There's no real meaning...
No, it's symbolic
Okay? Whoever's killing you
knows it's your birthday.
Ew.
All right, look.
Give me a list of names
of everybody who knows
it's your birthday
and whoever's trying to kill you.
Well, thanks to my sorority,
pretty much the entire school
knows it's my birthday.
God, they're throwing me this
stupid surprise party tonight.
I mean, it literally
could be anyone.
I mean, who has motive?
Okay, maybe it's Danielle.
All right.
Apparently, I made out
with some guy she liked
right in front of her
last night.
Oh.
Must've been before we met.
Busy night.
Okay, Mister I'm-gonna-
take-this-drunk-girl-home-
and-take-advantage-of-her.
Don't judge.
For the record, I didn't take
advantage of you last night.
Okay? I slept on Ryan's bed.
So, we didn't?
- Have s...
- No!
You were wasted last night.
You know, I was afraid
you were gonna fall or
choke on your own vomit
like Janis Joplin.
Uh, what were we...?
- Suspects.
- Right, suspects.
Um, okay so, Danielle.
Pfff... Gregory?
Um... his wife.
Creepy Tim.
Ooh, that tiny girl from T.J. Maxx
that I got fired.
And maybe the Uber driver
that I spit on last week.
I think his name was...
what?
Nobody's perfect.
Okay, this isn't helping.
This is pointless, isn't it?
All right, look,
the way I see it, is, is...
You have unlimited
amount of lives.
So, you have unlimited opportunities
to solve your own murder.
So, I'm just
supposed to keep
dying unitl I figure out
who my killer is?
That's your genius plan?
Do you have a better idea?
Ha
It's time for me to take it
I'm the boss right now
Not gonna fake it
Not when you go down
'Cause this is my game
And you better come to play
I used to hold my freak back
Now I'm letting go
I make my own choice
Bitch, I run this show
So leave the lights on
No, you can't make me behave
Oh, oh, oh
So you say I'm complicated
That I must be outta my mind
But you had me underrated
Rated, rated
Uh uh huh
What's wrong with being,
what's wrong with being
What's wrong with being confident?
Uh uh huh
What's wrong with being,
what's wrong with being
What's wrong with being confident?
Uh uh huh
It's time to get the chains out
Is your tongue tied up?
'Cause this is my ground
And I'm dangerous
And you can get out
But it's all about me tonight
So you say I'm complicated
It's so exhausting.
Asshole.
But you had me underrated
You bitch!
I knew it was you!
Come here!
Get off me!
I'm gonna kill you!
What's wrong with being confident?
Uh uh huh
Uh, uh-uh
Yeaah, eh eh ah
So you say I'm complicated
But you had me underrated
Uh uh huh
What's wrong with being,
what's wrong with being
What's wrong with being confident?
Ooh, yeah
Oh, my God!
Becky?
Becky!
Becky!
Becky!
- Shut up!
- Ow!
Yeah, it's my birthday
And now you gotta pick up...
Oh, hey.
You're up.
I wasn't sure if you wanted to
sleep in or...
Your plan totally sucks.
What?
I don't know if you remember
my name or not.
You know, you were
pretty wasted last night.
Um, but I'm Carter.
Are you okay?
Never better.
Are you sure you're okay?
I'm fine.
Dude, did you hit that
fine vagine, or what?
Sup, hey...
Um, I'm sorry to bother
you guys, uh...
How's it go?
I had to sleep in my car, so...
Carter, please,
a little help.
Carter!
Tree.
Hey, hey, hey, calm down.
I-It's just me.
How you doing?
Wh-what happened?
You collapsed this morning.
What day is it?
It's Monday.
What's the date?
Uh, it's the 18th.
Oh, we've been trying to get
in contact with your parents.
But for some reason...
- Jeez!
- Can I help you?
Uh, I'm just checkin' on her.
It's okay. He's a friend.
Sorry, visiting hours are over.
Got it.
Thanks, Carter.
Feel better.
When can I get out of here?
I'm having a hard time
pulling your medical records.
Why?
We just got these
back from imaging.
These are signs of major trauma.
Given the severity of the scar tissue
and the size of the lesions,
This is gonna sound crazy, but...
technically, you should be dead.
Hey, hey, hey,
what are you doing?
I need to get out of here.
No way, no. You need to
stay here for observation.
If I don't get out of here,
I'm gonna die.
Tree, shh, listen to me.
You are absolutely safe here.
Okay.
I won't let anything
happen to you.
I'm really thirsty.
Could you get me a soda?
Sure.
Thank you.
Special delivery.
Keys, keys, keys...
Greg, where are
the car keys, come on!
Tree, Tree, it's okay.
It's okay, it's just me.
Gregory, look out!
Come on, come on, come on!
I did it.
I did it!
I did it!
Whoo!
Yeah!
Catch me now, bitch!
Whoo!
What?
Oh, no, no, no!
Come on!
No!
Oh, shit!
Shit, shit, shit.
I know I was
speeding, officer, I just...
Turn off the engine, please.
Yes, officer.
License and registration.
I um...
I don't have it.
- Pardon me?
- He's trying to kill me again.
- Again?
- Yes.
I mean, no, I...
He was trying before,
but this time I got away.
But I-I didn't have time
to grab my clothes
and my driver's license
is in my pocket.
Ma'am, are you under
the influence of alcohol
or any other controlled substance?
No! That is
what I am trying to...
Wait.
If I am, does that mean
that you're going to arrest me
and lock me in a jail cell?
That's how it usually works.
I'm drunk.
- You are?
- Wasted.
And I'm high.
You know, pills, weed.
You name it, man,
I'm on it.
Um, well...
Then I'm gonna put you
under arrest.
That's a good idea.
Let me help you.
Uh, all right.
Never been arrested before.
Uh-huh.
Thank you!
All units who have got a way
to 78 University Hospital,
Suspect is...
Shit.
Oh, God, get me out!
Get me out, get me out!
What do you want?!
Why are you
doing this to me?
Who are you?
Show your face, you pussy!
Where are you going?
Oh, shit!
Oh, fuck.
Oh, hey. You're up.
Silence!
Yeah, it's my birthday
And now you gotta
pick up the phone
What, you've been here before?
Hey, uh, you know, I don't think you
should be taking that many...
I mean you could...
you could die.
If only it were that easy.
Water, por favor, mhm.
Dude, did you hit that...
Hi, I'm the so-called
"fine vagine".
If that's the way
you refer to girls,
you and your hand
are going to have
a very lasting relationship.
Have a nice day.
What?
I mean, are you-you always
this charming in the morning?
Just this one.
So, you having a bad dream
or something?
Sorry?
You were just screamin'
before you woke up.
Well... I was dying.
Again.
What?
Uh, it's a long story.
Well, I mean,
I got, you know, time.
I'm not doing
anything today if you wanna.
Seriously.
I hate this sticker.
Hey, wait!
Why are you following me?
I wanna hear your story.
Look, no offense,
but the last time
I explained it to you,
it got me nowhere. So.
The last time?
Hey.
So you-you're having bad dreams.
I took an elective course on
neurocognition and dream content.
Hooray for you.
I'm just saying, I...
I might be able to help,
you know.
Can you help me stop
reliving the same day
over and over
only to be murdered
by someone I may
or may not know?
Yup. Thought so.
Stop global warming?
So, wait, you literally think
you're reliving the same day?
Yup.
And somebody kills you?
Yup again.
All right, come on, you're
just messin' with me, right?
Sprinklers.
Car alarm.
Now, see that
pledge over there,
the one in the baseball hat?
He's going to fall
right now.
Keep going!
Any questions?
- How are your fries? Hmm.
- Yeah, they're good.
That's impressive.
Hmm. That was nothing.
Did you get it all out?
Whatever.
You won't remember it, anyway.
Yeah, it's my birthday
And now you gotta
pick up the phone
It's your birthday?
it's my birthday
Can't you just leave...
It's your dad. You wanna-
wanna get that?
I was never close to my dad.
Can't even remember
the last time
he called me on my birthday.
He kinda always forgets.
Yeah. I'm supposed
to be with mine.
I don't know, I couldn't bear
the thought of sitting through
another uncomfortable celebration
while we both pretend
that everything is awesome.
Are you closer with your mom?
Was.
What happened?
Oh, she...
Yeah.
Three years ago.
I'm sorry.
That-that sucks.
Yeah.
We actually share
the same birthday, though.
Seriously? That's crazy.
You know, when I was a kid,
I always got to skip school.
We'd go to the beach.
My dad would buy us this like
huge birthday cake.
And put just one candle on it.
We'd blow it out together.
I bet you miss her.
Yeah.
You know, it's funny,
you relive the same day
over and over again
you kind of start to see
who you really are.
If my mom saw me now,
and who I've become,
I don't think
she'd be very proud.
Don't say that.
It's true.
I'm not a good person, Carter.
Maybe it's karma,
maybe I deserve it.
Well, look, I don't
know you all that well, but...
It's never too late to change.
I mean, especially if
what you're saying is true,
Each new day is
it's a chance to be
somebody better.
See, that's just it.
I don't think I have
that many chances left.
I keep on getting weaker
every time I come back.
You know, maybe I'm like that
cat with nine lives.
Eventually, I'm gonna run out.
Let's go live now to
Bayfield University Hospital
Where Jennifer Trite has the latest
on this developing situation.
I'm standing outside the
Bayfield University Hospital
where suspected murderer
John Tombs
is being treated for a gunshot wound
Can you turn that up, please?
that left one officer dead.
Tombs was the subject
of a nationwide manhunt
What's goin' on?
across four state lines
Tree?
that left six female victims.
Authorities are still not sure
if Tombs is responsible
Oh, my God.
for various victims
he claims to have buried
- across the vast desert...
- He's been here the whole time.
What? Tree!
Hey...
Tree!
He's going to escape.
Call the police.
Who?
John Tombs.
Just call the police.
What?
Wait, don't go in there!
Shit.
Excuse me,
what are you doing?
He has a gun.
He has a gun, run!
Come on. Come on.
Hey!
Carter!
Stop!
Stop it! Right now!
Hey!
No.
Carter!
There's nowhere to hide,
little girl!
Carter.
I don't reset this day,
he's gone forever.
You should've killed me
when you had the chance.
Come on,
olly olly oxen free.
Hey!
See you soon, asshole.
Yeah, it's my birthday
Oh, hey, you're up.
I wasn't sure if you wanna...
I can't believe you
tried to save my life.
Thank you so much!
Yeah, yeah, no biggie.
I just, you know,
brought you home.
Uh, I don't know if you
remember my name.
Carter.
Yeah.
Oh!
Do you mind
if I borrow this?
Uh, y-yeah. Sure.
See you at lunch.
Dude, did you hit that
fine vagine, or what?
You naughty, naughty boy!
Fine vagine out!
What just happened?
I've got my love stuck
in my thoughts
In my thoughts
I left my love out
in the cold
- Hi, stop global warming?
- Sure.
You save that planet, girl.
I've got to give my love
Yo, sprinklers about to go on.
My angel flew away
You're welcome.
I didn't know how
to keep her
Heaven knows
I needed her to stay
I hope she spreads her wings
I can't hear you!
Slouching on a sunbeam
And dancing to a song
I couldn't sing
But if I saw her on the street
I'd say
My baby, fly back to me
Oh, Tim!
I know you're back there.
Hey, Tim.
- Hey.
- Hi.
Uh, you haven't returned
any of my texts.
Look, Tim.
Let's get real.
I know you don't like girls.
Stop trying to be
someone you're not.
Love is love, right?
Now you go out there
and get yourself a
fine piece of man ass.
'Cause I've got my love stuck
in my head
In my head
I've got to give my love
To my soul
And let go
Oh
Good morning!
And let go
Oh, my God.
You sneaky little biotch.
His name's Carter.
No, we did not have sex.
But, if I finally make it
through this day somehow,
I'm gonna have his babies.
Lots to do. Gotta go.
She finally rolls in.
What's wrong?
- Ugh.
- Oh, nothing. I was...
Look, Lori.
I have been
the worst roommate.
You've always
been there for me
but I've been way too selfish
to even appreciate it.
Can we start over?
I promise not to be
such a loser.
Are you high?
On life.
Oh, by the way, phone you
about this mystery guy.
When extreme agitation occurs,
the locomotive response
in the subject
shows an accelaration...
Dr. Butler.
Can I have a word, please?
What the hell do...
What the hell
do you think you're doing?
I'm ending this.
Wait. What?
I never should've
started seeing you.
It was wrong.
And I...
Anyway, I can't change
what I've done, but
I can start trying to be
a better person today.
What lame little self-help book
did you get that from?
You know what, you have a wife
who loves you so much.
So, if you can't be faithful to her,
at least have the balls to leave.
Don't expect me to let you
coast by my class now.
Already dropped it.
I just have to say
how totally sad
and disappointing it is
when certain people
can't be bothered
to make it to a
mandatory House meeting.
We were supposed to be
picking this year's charity.
Becky...
Is that chocolate milk I see?
I skipped breakfast.
Oh!
Mmm, mmm.
Mmm, guys, it's so good.
What's up with the fat fest?
We're Kappas.
Come on, hun, live a little.
A few calories won't kill ya.
No. It'll just turn me
into a chunker.
Like Becky here.
Wait.
Oh, my God!
It'll be okay.
Hey, Tree.
Hey.
I just uh, came on by to...
What was that for?
I have to run, but what
are you doing later tonight?
Nothing.
Do you wanna take me out
for my birthday?
What's the punchline?
Look, I know
it's really random, but...
I promise I'll explain
everything tomorrow.
Assuming there is one.
Just say yes.
All right, yeah.
Cool.
Okay.
Excuse me.
Can I pay for
my coffee, please?
- You're not gonna eat?
- No, just the check, please.
I'll be right back.
Hi, Daddy. Sorry I'm late.
Like your tie.
Thanks.
How's school?
Fine.
You like your classes?
They're fine, Dad.
I don't wanna do that anymore.
Do what?
Small talk.
It's just that
this day
this day is really hard for me.
And um...
I miss Mom.
You know, miss her so much.
I miss the way that she smells.
I miss that
crazy horse laugh she has.
Yeah, me too.
And I... I guess I thought that if
I avoided all of it,
or avoided you that somehow
it would be easier.
But it's not.
It's been so much worse.
All of this running and hiding
has made me so miserable.
And I think I finally
figured it out.
I mean, it took something
like totally crazy, but...
But I'm here.
And I love you.
And I am so, so sorry
that I hurt you.
Happy birthday, baby.
Stay calm.
I need you to stand up.
Slowly.
Slowly.
Okay, good.
I guess this is a
really bad idea.
Well, so is dying
for the 16th time.
Okay.
Now, turn around.
I need you to listen to me.
He's going to escape.
We could talk about this,
just put the gun down.
He is going to escape.
Go get help.
- Go!
- Okay.
I know you're not asleep.
Open your eyes.
Safety's on, little girl.
Uh-uh
Look what we have here.
Mmm?
You know,
It's a real nice surprise
you comin' and visit me like this.
Hoo.
I like you.
Damn shame.
You're a feisty little shit,
ain't ya?
That's right, crawl,
little girl, crawl.
Don't worry.
I'll just make this one
real quick for ya, okay?
Hey!
Safety's off.
Thanks for the tip.
Who took my hair dryer?
So this has gotta be like
the strangest birthday
you've ever had, huh?
You have no idea.
Did you ever figure out
how Tombs got free?
No. No one knows.
It's kinda like Houdini.
Yeah, I guess.
What are you gonna wish for?
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow?
What, is that kind of a given?
Aiming for anything higher?
Nah.
Tomorrow's good enough for me.
Shut up!
Yeah, it's my birthday
And now you gotta
pick up the phone
Oh, hey, you're up.
Carter?
Yeah. I'm surprised
you remember my name.
You were pretty wasted
last night.
This can't be happening.
- This can't be happening.
- What?
I killed him!
I stopped it!
Who?
What are you talkin' about?
What's goin' on?
I mean, look, you were
probably just having a
bad dream or something.
Like it happens to me
all the time
when I'm dreaming,
you know, I...
Nice one, dickhead.
She finally rolls in.
Going somewhere?
Yes.
As far away as possible.
Tree, what's wrong?
Me.
I was wrong.
I thought that if I stopped running
that I could beat it.
But it's never gonna stop.
Tree, you're freaking me out.
Oh, well, that's me,
a freak!
Tree.
Tree, look.
Happy birthday.
Thanks. But I
already ate it last night.
Oh, my God.
I died in my sleep.
What?
You killed me.
What?
You poisoned it.
But I never ate it before.
So you had to find
another way.
Then Tombs fell
right into your lap.
Perfect scapegoat.
You had access to him.
Did you drug him first?
You knew that if he escaped,
everyone would assume
that he killed me.
But it was always you.
Tree, are...
Is this a joke?
You think I would actually
try to poison you
with a freaking cupcake?
Okay then.
Prove it.
Go on, Lori.
Take a bite.
Go on, Lori.
You really are crazy.
Okay then.
I'll take it down
to the police.
I'm sure they can tell us
what your little
birthday treat is made of.
You stupid little whore.
I know I've been
a bad roommate, but...
Isn't this a bit much?
What the hell?
Oh, I don't know.
Maybe because you wouldn't
stop sleeping with him.
What?
Gregory?
But he just kept choosing you
over me.
I guess all he wanted
was a cheap slut like you!
Wait, you've been killing me
over some stupid guy?
Oh, that's not the only reason.
You're a dumb bitch, too!
What I really wanna know is,
How did you figure it out?
Because you've killed me before.
Then I guess I'm just
gonna have to do it again.
Stop.
No! Bitch!
Fuck you.
No!
What the hell's going on in there?
Nothing. Tree just fell.
Everything's fine.
Whatever.
Clumsy hos.
I better see you
at the meeting today.
We'll be there.
Eat it, bitch!
What are you losers
doing in there?
Lori
ate
my cupcake.
I just knew there was
something wrong with Lori.
She never wore makeup.
Never posted any cute selfies.
And she literally
owned a pair of Crocs.
All the signs
of a psycho killer would...
Hello?
I'm trying to get
interviewed here.
Oh, my God, she is such a tool.
Anyhoo...
Lori's little plot was super lame.
Poisoning a cupcake?
Really?
We're Kappas.
We don't eat cupcakes.
Is this local or national?
Local.
- Hey, Dad. Dad.
- Tree, are you okay?
- Are you hurt?
- Dad, no, Dad. I'm fine.
I promise.
- Are you sure?
- Yeah.
Just a little scratched up.
- All right.
- Okay. I'll see you soon.
- I love you.
- I love you, too. Bye.
So uh, now that your
bedroom is officially
a crime scene and all.
Where are you
planning on crashing?
Is that an invitation?
You sure you wanna wake up
in the dorm room again?
Only if it's yours.
Only of course, you'll have to
sleep in Ryan's bed.
- Of course.
- Yeah.
We can, you know...
Oh, uh...
I almost forgot.
You left this little guy.
Thanks.
Hey, you know what your
little scenario reminds me of?
- What?
- Uh...
- What's that?
- Groundhog Day.
The movie Groundhog Day?
- I don't know.
- with Bill Murray?
Who's Bill Murray?
Are you kidding me?
Ghostbusters.
Sorry.
- I... I don't know.
- How do you sleep at night?
You've never seen
Groundhog Day?
No.
In walked old misery
Yeah, it's my birthday
And now you gotta
pick up the phone
Oh, hey, you're up.
Yeah, it's my birthday
I wasn't sure if you wanted to uh,
sleep in or not.
I'm kidding.
It was...
It was me.
I just called your phone.
What?
It's Tuesday, the 19th.
You made it.
Oh, my God.
You are such a jerk!
I'm gonna kill you.
- Hey, that's not fair.
- What is wrong with you?
That was not funny!
You are such a punk!
I hate y...
She's back?
Out.
I'm not sleeping
in my car again.
It smells like
Hot Pockets and feet.
- Get out.
- I just want clean underwear!
I've been smoking
on the peace pipe
I've been wondering just
what would peace be like
I've been staring into headlights
Swallow me whole,
finding my peace of mind
I'm just trying
to seize the moment
Trying to love the little things
Even if they're hard to love
A monument to love unspoken
Carved into stone,
unwilling to come undone
It feels good to be
running from the devil
Another breath
and I'm up another level
It feels good to be
up above the clouds
It feels good for the first time
in a long time now
It feels good for the first time
in a long time to be me
It feels good for the first time
in a while I'm free
I'm high, staring at the ceiling
Sending my love,
what a wonderful feeling
What comes next,
I see a light
I'm along for the ride
as I'm taking flight