He Went That Way (2024) Movie Script
[narrator] They say
a good story makes us human,
so I'd like to tell you mine.
But don't think you've got it figured out.
It's complicated.
The summer of '64 changed all of us.
When you live your life on the road,
freedom's a crapshoot.
Hey, is it, uh "the" Hoover Dam or is it
Is it just Hoover Dam, with no "the"?
I think it's the Hoover Dam.
I think it's not just a monument,
you know, it's it's a statement.
It's like
It's like, "Hey, Colorado River, fuck you.
No rolling through here on our watch."
[tires squeal]
["The Pusher" playing]
Whoo-hoo!
You know, I smoked a lot of grass
And I
[narrator]
So before I get ahead of myself,
let me take it back a few weeks
to Death Valley, California.
Things hadn't been easy
and life wasn't the same anymore.
People weren't the same anymore.
Everyone was killing each other,
even on the TV.
[gunfire on TV]
And there we were,
another long hot day on the road,
car breaking down on us again.
[sighs]
So it's the air filter.
Was the air filter.
Now it's pretty much the whole thing.
Well
[indistinct voice on radio]
I was, uh
I was so hoping
that you could fix it for me.
Well, I could fix it if you gave me
a few days. You gave me an hour.
Did enough to patch it.
You'll still need an overhaul
as soon as you can.
Especially carrying cargo like that.
[person on radio] Dr. and Mrs. Peterson
are, however, known protestors
of the war in Vietnam.
- Here you go. Thanks.
- Her son, Jonathan Peterson,
who served a time
as senior airman in Vietnam,
- was killed last month
- You're short.
Well, you said that it
That it wouldn't be so expensive.
Earlier.
That's before you told me
you needed rush work.
Had to get right on it.
Set all other business to the side.
[radio volume lowers]
Well, then
Hey, I can always put her back
the way you brought her in.
No, uh
That's rush work, so, you know
I understand.
[line ringing]
[sighs]
[person] Hello.
- [phone beeping]
- [coins clink]
- Hello, hi. Hi. It's me.
- What? What is it?
I just wanted to say that, you know,
it looks like I'm actually
a bit ahead of schedule
and so I think I have some
some time tomorrow.
I could maybe stop in and see Saul.
[sighs] Jesus Christ. We went over this.
No, I know, Esther. But I'm
I'm just saying that,
you know, if I go there,
you know, he he owes me, so, uh
We agreed,
- no getting sidetracked, right?
- Yeah.
I worked hard setting this up.
No, I know that, but
I worked hard to make something happen
after you quit making anything happen.
So all you need to do now
is focus on the destination.
- No, I'm just saying that if I go there
- [hitchhiker] Hi.
and have a talk with him that I
- That you'll what?
- [hitchhiker] I'm kinda stranded out here.
- I'm trying to get home to Michigan.
- Talk with Saul about what?
- Maybe I could get a ride with you guys?
- Don't say anything, right?
- [travelers laugh]
- [hitchhiker laughs]
- [Esther continues talking]
- [driver] I don't think so.
[hitchhiker] Like, you know, well, why
[travelers laughing]
Jim? Jim, don't go see Saul.
Are you listening to me?
- [sighs] Jesus Christ, I'm hanging up.
- [sighs]
[call ends]
[person on radio]
With the summer breeze in the air,
people want their news fast
and with no funny business.
That's the way we see it too.
[person on radio continues]
Hey!
This ain't no hitching post!
So unless you wanna buy candy or Camels
What?
Oh! Oh, you wanna take a swing at me?
Is that it?
Well, come on, big man,
I ain't got all day.
[horn honks]
Excuse me.
Do you, uh
Do you need a ride?
Um, I'd be happy to, uh
I'm going east on 66.
You a suck?
- I'm sorry?
- Sick fuck. Suck.
Um
No, I'm not. Um
Well, I'm not sure where you're headed,
but you're welcome to
come along for a ways.
I'm Jim.
I'm Bobby.
Well, hop in, Bobby.
The, uh, wheels died on me
back near Death Valley there.
I'm in a hell of a hurry.
[chatter on radio]
[Bobby] Damn, it feels good to be moving.
Yeah, I gotta hit
I gotta hit Michigan quick.
Night after next, I got a, uh
Got a homecoming with my honey
in South Haven.
Oh, well, I'm headed that way.
Chicago, actually.
Oh. A first-timer, huh?
You just told me
exactly where you're going
instead of waiting to tell me,
or, you know, being vague-like.
So now I know how long I can ride for.
Well, I fell a little bit behind today,
so I thought, you know
Yeah!
Get a backup wheel man. Sure thing.
I can burn.
Hell, this is 66.
We're on the Mother Road.
Plenty of room out here
to do some damage, huh, Jim?
[seat belt clicks]
Can I ask you a question?
[squawking]
Roaming.
That's all.
That's what you were gonna ask,
right? Where I been?
I been roaming.
Experiencing America.
One end of the 66 back to the other.
You're, uh, what, in the army?
Air force. I mean, I was.
I didn't even make it overseas.
I got discharged.
It was a damn shame too,
'cause I was all ready
to go do me some bombing.
So why the discharge?
Say, what's with all the questions?
- Oh, I'm sorry, I I thought I was
- What is this, a game show?
What's My Line?
Well, I'll tell you my line.
Not answering any more
of your fucking questions.
Whoa, honest, Bobby, I'm sorry.
- I'm just making conversation...
- [animal chattering]
- What the hell is that?
- No, no, it's okay.
- Oh, you
- Just gonna
- What the fuck?
- It's okay, Bobby.
- Bobby, it's okay.
- [Bobby muttering]
- Shit.
- It's okay, Bobby.
[Bobby] You fuck.
Fuck.
[Jim] Hey, big fella.
Hi. It's okay. It's okay.
- Hey, you're all right.
- The fuck are you talking to?
Oh, I was meaning to mention.
So you're just gonna hang out.
I want you to meet him.
His name is Bobby. Okay, okay.
- [screeches]
- [Bobby screams]
- What the fuck is that?
- Bobby, just calm down.
Got a hairy deformed
fucking baby in there?
- Calm down, okay?
- What the fuck?
- You're a fucking creep!
- Listen. Listen. Listen.
- You sicko.
- You have got to calm down.
I wanna introduce you,
but you gotta calm down, okay?
- Calm down? Fuck you!
- Please, please, calm down, okay?
- Ah, shit!
- I wanna introduce you to him.
- All right? Hey, it's okay.
- [screeches]
You're worse than a suck, mister.
You're a fucking super-suck,
I swear to God.
All right, Spanky.
All right, buddy. Here you go, okay?
Who's always got you, right?
Who's your friend?
Who's gonna make sure
you're okay all the time, huh?
Okay, okay. Okay. Come on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
- [Bobby laughs]
- Shh! Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
[laughs]
- It's a monkey.
- It's okay. It's Bobby.
He's our friend. You wanna say hi?
You Spanky? Are you Spanky?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.
Wait. Did you just say Spanky?
Jim, you don't understand. I seen
everything that fucking monkey ever did.
- Chimp.
- Huh?
- He's a chimp.
- Huh?
Chimpanzee. It's the ape family.
It's the closest relative to humans...
Ed Sullivan, Perry Como, Today Show.
- Motherfucker's done 'em all, right?
- Yeah.
Yeah, I can't believe it.
Middle of the 66.
Middle of the 66, I'm racing home,
and I run into a certified legend.
That is
- All right, all right. Shh. All right.
- God bless America. Oh.
Say, Jim, shouldn't he be
on a plane right now?
Monkey-humping stewardesses?
Sipping wine in first class?
It's harder to fly with him commercially.
It's the new regulations.
Yeah, but he's got gigs, though, right?
Jim, what's he doing in Chicago?
[Spanky chattering]
It's a private engagement.
[sighs] It's really important.
So, um, where did you guys
plan on stopping tonight
before you got to running behind?
Um, Albuquerque.
Albuquerque
Albuquerque
Yeah.
Yeah, sure thing, I can burn.
And you can tell me every last thing
about that famous fucker.
[Spanky chattering]
[Bobby] Monkey!
[Bobby clicking tongue]
Bobby.
["I Had Too Much To Dream (Last Night)"
playing]
Last night your shadow fell
Upon my lonely room
I touched your golden hair
And tasted your perfume
Your eyes were filled with love
The way they used to be
Your gentle hand
Reached out to comfort me
Then came the dawn
And you were gone
You were gone, gone, gone
I had too much to dream
Last night
[Jim] You know there's a theory
about chimps?
Give him a typewriter and enough time,
and Spanky could write
all of Shakespeare's works.
[Bobby sighs]
Well, Shakespeare's an asshole.
Last night
Last night
Oh, too much to dream
Oh, too much to dream
Too much to dream last night
Oh, too much to dream
Oh, too much to dream
Oh, too much to dream
I had too much to dream
[Jim groans]
[Bobby] Hey, New Mexico!
Let's dance.
So I burned it or what?
[Jim] Uh, yeah. That was, uh
Good driving.
Um
Well, I'm beat.
I'm gonna get the, uh the room.
Yeah, sure thing.
Hey, we better be out 6:30 sharp.
We gotta keep moving.
Okay.
You know, um,
I'm sure there's rooms with two beds.
Oh, I'm good up front here.
- You sure?
- Yep!
Okay.
- Hey.
- Say, uh, Jim!
- [whispers] Shh. He's sleeping.
- [whispers] Oh, sorry, yeah.
- He's sleeping.
- Yeah.
- What is it?
- Say, you think I, uh
You think I can feed him?
Oh, uh
Well, he's resting now,
but that's a really nice offer.
Oh, yeah.
So maybe how about breakfast?
Uh
Well, I don't know, Bobby.
- I don't know if it's such a good idea.
- Jim, come on.
You said it yourself, he's got, like,
99% human characteristics.
- How hard can it be?
- It's the one percent
you gotta be careful of.
That's That gets tricky, you know?
It's Look, here. Here.
See? Yeah?
And I'm trained to deal with him.
Look what he did to my arm.
I mean, honest, Bobby,
it's for your own good. Really.
A chimpanzee
has the strength of seven men.
Seven queer men maybe.
I ain't no queer.
Ed Sullivan fed him, but I guess
I ain't no Ed Sullivan neither, huh?
I'm sorry. I I don't
I don't think it's a good idea.
[Bobby sighs]
Okay. Um
Get some rest, buddy, okay?
[Jim] Hello? Sir, hi.
Was hoping I could check in.
- So you're rolling by moonlight.
- [chatter on radio]
Rough out there.
You know, the things I hear
on this police CB.
- [sighs]
- Yeah.
Too many miles can shake a man's insides.
But I've got something
that could clear that up. Yes, sir.
[country music playing on radio]
[thudding]
My daughter keeps asking,
"Daddy, why do you do this?"
And I say, "Because I'm trying to help."
I'm just trying to
make this world a little better
"instead of a little worse any way I can."
Great deals on each.
Best medicine around.
There's nothing more calming
than to know you've got
one of these close by
right there in your glove box.
Puntilla. The Mexicans use these
on their horses.
Slices the bone right off the flesh.
Me? I just keep one under the bed.
Helps me sleep at night.
Now, let's say a man
is a little bit more, uh, frail.
Get a knife like this.
You see that handle?
You just touch that and that's calming.
You just touch that
and that will cool a man's
blood temperature right down.
Now, the cheapest
Is the neck knife.
Now, you wear it right back there
and it firms up your whole posture.
Say you got a firm neck,
so you got firm shoulders.
Got firm shoulders, you got a firm back.
You got a firm back strong stomach.
And you, my friend,
have the perfect neck for a neck knife.
Hell, I could see that.
Uh, thank you kindly,
but, um,
I think I'm okay on the knives,
but, uh, maybe I just
take the room tonight, you know.
A fella like you for sure
ought to have himself a blade.
Well, uh
A fellow like me would really like
to have a room tonight,
so
I'm just trying to get you well.
Uh
Well
[clears throat]
Best of luck.
Okay.
Thank you.
[chatter on radio]
[Bobby whistles]
Hey, yo!
Over here!
Hey, I need your help with something.
- What are you doing in that car?
- Come here.
- Whose car is that?
- Come here.
Come take a look
what I got in my hand. Come.
I'm sorry, it's too dark. I can't see.
Oh, it's okay. Come here. Come closer.
What are you gonna do with that?
What do you think I'm gonna do with it?
It's a stickup, Jim.
What, a stickup? What?
Bobby.
Don't go acting
like you're the monkey now, Jim.
Bobby.
Bobby, you don't wanna do this.
Yeah, you don't know what I want, Jim.
But I I I do know what you want.
We spent all day together
talking about it.
You wanna get back
to Michigan to your girl,
to her party, and you You wanna tell her
all about the Hoover Dam.
You met Spanky today.
Bobby, we're we're we're friends.
- Why are you holding a gun at my head?
- Shit!
God. Fucking Fucking fuck!
- [punches]
- [Jim yells]
Shit.
Why?
[coughs]
Shit! You fucking, fucking fucker!
What did I say?
Give me your wallet. Give me your wallet.
What's that?
Hey, give me your fucking ring.
Very serious.
Why are you doing this?
Hey, Jim.
Ow, Bobby!
[groans]
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey. Here's the deal.
If I see a car with sirens
anywhere in this zip code,
Spanky gets it.
Bobby, I promise, you won't
you won't see any cops.
I promise.
[breathing heavily]
[imitating chimp sounds]
Hell of a thing, this.
Nobody in South Haven
would ever believe it.
Hmm.
You know, I don't wanna scare you, Spank.
That's what I've been trying to say.
I'm not like, you know
I'm not a bad person.
Not at my core.
I just got pushed, see?
I was set off when I got on this road.
I'm just gonna make sure
you're all nice and tight here,
so you don't slip away on me.
Say, ain't you Mr. Calm.
[captive] I fly jets at Fort Custer.
Hmm. Hmm.
You even make it through basic?
You ever shot one of those? At a person?
Look, there's no money back here.
But you can look on the ground
for a few pennies.
Take your girl out.
[gunshot]
Oh, God.
God dammit, look what you made me do!
Well, I guess now you know
I know how to shoot it, huh, fly-boy?
- [Esther] In New Mexico?
- [Jim] Yeah.
So, um, just about, uh,
60 miles from Albuquerque.
- All right.
- Yeah.
Well, there should be no more trouble now.
So, no, but tomorrow, I think I'll
I'll definitely have chance to, um...
[sighs] Here we go.
Just, you know, swing by Saul's
and and say hey.
- You're not funny, Jim.
- No, it's not a joke, Esther.
For goodness' sake, Jim,
why are you being so stubborn?
- Because I feel like he...
- The show's over.
- You're not gonna ruin this for us.
- Well, we'll see, huh?
[line disconnects]
- [phone rings]
- [chimp screeches]
[phone ringing]
[breathing heavily]
[ringing continues]
[Esther] The show's over, Jim.
Spanky?
The deal is done, Jim.
You had your chances.
- Spanky!
- The show's over, Jim.
Spanky...
Hey, big fella.
How you doing, huh? Looking good.
Yeah, he just got up.
- Oh, yeah?
- Mm-hmm.
- [Jim] Hey.
- Breakfast?
[Jim] No, no, I I'm okay.
More stellar threads!
Jim, that's a nice shirt!
You know, if I had a shirt like this,
I'd be President Jack himself.
Without the, um, blown-out head.
Um
Well, listen, Bobby, I was thinking, uh,
last night as I was, um, trying to sleep,
I thought if we could just have
a quick chat about, um
You okay?
Just turn with me slowly.
Look over my shoulder.
Did you call them?
- No.
- No?
- Don't lie to me.
- I don't lie.
We had a deal, Bobby, and I kept it.
I swear.
Get in the car real normal-like.
But I have to check out and...
Get in the fucking car.
- Shit.
- [engine starts]
Start the fucking car!
Shit.
Just go steady.
You, uh You been thinking?
- I'm sorry?
- Before, you said, "I been thinking."
Oh, uh, yeah.
I I was thinking about, um,
a new deal,
you know, for us.
You're headed to Michigan, right?
South Haven, girlfriend,
before midnight tomorrow.
I'll take you as far as I'm going,
end of 66, Chicago,
and, you know, we'll arrive early evening,
and and you're only 120 miles away.
Easy to hitch a ride
from the big city, right?
Ah, that's no deal.
I could have done that myself.
That's pointless.
Yeah, but I'll guarantee
that you get there.
Quick stop in Amarillo later,
a motel outside of Tulsa tonight,
and, you know, no trouble, no police.
Ah, well, what's in it for you?
Um
I get the wallet and my ring.
And you can hang on to them
until we get to Chicago.
- Well, why do you want 'em so bad?
- I just do. Very much.
[lighter clicks]
Say, I got a, uh [clears throat]
How do you What do you
What do you call it? I got a
I got a counteroffer.
How about I shoot you in both eyeballs?
I get your ring, your wallet,
your car, your keys.
And you get to be blind and dead.
How does that sound?
Okay, well, you know, if I'm dead,
then, you know,
who's gonna take care of Spanky?
[laughs]
You think You think
I give a fuck about a monkey?
Bobby, I told you already, he's a chimp.
There's a difference. He's not a...
Fucker could be Ed Sullivan himself.
I could give a shit.
Oh, come on. It's a fair deal, Bobby.
And I'll honor it just like
I honored my deal back there,
and you honored it too.
[Bobby] Hmm.
Can you drive faster?
Your driving is driving me nuts.
["Eve Of Destruction" plays]
The Eastern world, it is explodin'
Violence flarin' and bullets loadin'
You're old enough to kill
But not for votin'
You don't believe in war
But what's that gun you're totin'?
And even the River Jordan
Has bodies floatin'
And you tell me over
And over
And over again, my friend
How you don't believe
We're on the eve
Of destruction
Don't you understand
What I'm trying to say?
Can't you feel the fears
I'm feeling today?
- [Bobby] Where you going?
- A quick detour.
You won't find Jesus in Amarillo.
With the world in a grave
Take a look around you, boy
It's bound to scare you, boy
And you tell me
Over and over
And over and over again
How you don't believe
We're on the eve
Of destruction
I heard you don't believe we're
On the eve of destruction
- [person] Hey!
- I won't be long.
You take long, I take off.
[person] No service today.
You gotta come back tomorrow!
Jim! Keys.
- [sighs]
- [person] Did you hear me?
Saul.
- My Lord in heaven. Is that Jimmy?
- Yeah.
- Jimmy?
- Yeah!
[laughs]
Can't believe
that we found you out here, huh?
My Lord in heaven. I thought
I thought you were a mirage or something.
A flicker in the heat devil.
What are you doing here?
Are you allowed to say "devil"?
Come on, out here, in the promised land,
I can say a lot of words.
I can even say "damn."
As in it has been too damn long!
[laughs]
- Man, look at you.
- Yeah.
You smell like flowers.
- Oh.
- Oh, hey, sweetheart.
[Saul whistles] Genesis, inside!
So, where you been?
Uh
You know, work.
- A lot of traveling and...
- Sure, work, work, work,
work, work, work! Mmm!
- That fancy life, huh?
- Mmm. You know.
Showbiz!
Of course, uh,
I guess sweeping up all that ape shit
really isn't all that fancy, is it?
Well, it's not all there is to it,
you know.
- Mm-hmm.
- It's, uh
- It's worth it for me.
- Is it?
I'm not so sure now
when the beast in the box
keeps you from the man on the cross.
[Jim chuckles]
That's That's why
I never did showbiz, you know.
- Oh.
- And I could have.
I mean, we both know I had the talent.
- But then the man called.
- Oh, the man called and you heard.
And he led me to places of need.
There's a, uh, lot of need out here, huh?
Come on, let's get a beer.
Let's go. Come on!
[laughs]
Jimmy, crack corn
And I don't care
I'm just gonna be a sec, Bobby, okay?
So why don't you, uh,
tell me what you're really doing here,
huh?
Uh, I'm I'm good, thanks.
I'm really here because, you know,
when Esther told me where you were,
I couldn't pass without saying hello.
Hello.
I wanted to see
what you've been up to since I saw you,
and it seems like things
are going real well, huh?
It's impressive.
And just, you know,
well, I wanted to just
have a chat about the loan.
[chuckles]
There it is. I see it.
That is why you didn't call me in advance!
You figured you'd just show up here
and corner me.
- No, it's not
- Start talking about loans.
No, no, it's not about
cornering you, you know?
It's just it's been almost two years,
and you said you'd pay us back,
and I'm just here
to talk about that, you know?
- I thought we can have a conversation...
- Jimmy, come on.
I told you that I am a man
who pays his debts, didn't I?
But then you haven't
paid it back, Saul. Any of it.
Take a look around. I'm not exactly
riding high hog here, okay?
- Well, I'm not either.
- Please.
Listen, the, uh
The network canceled Spanky's contract.
Saul, I'm having a real hard time
getting us jobs.
Mmm. Mm-hmm.
Last year, he had a lung issue.
I had to take out a loan to fix it.
You know, he almost didn't make it, Saul.
And there's the food for him, and the car,
and all the travel that we have to do.
And I don't know what to do.
There's a lot of...
Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy! Shut up.
I don't wanna hear it!
My God, he rolls in here
looking to fill up his collection cup.
It seems to me that he has forgotten
who here serves the shit and who eats it!
No, Saul. No. No, no!
[Saul laughs]
- Seems like you've forgotten it, huh?
- Whoo! [Laughs]
- Seems like you've forgotten, huh?
- Yeah.
You've forgotten a lot of things, huh?
You wear that cross,
call yourself a minister.
- To little girls, huh?
- [laughs] Fiery! I like it!
- You don't wanna talk to me about this.
- No, sir.
You don't wanna talk to me
about what you owe me?
I got nothing to say to you at all, Jimmy.
Okay, okay.
Well, maybe
You should talk to my friend Bobby.
Ooh, Bobby. Who's Bobby?
Is that your little boyfriend there?
Is he
Is he your muscle, is he?
You know
He's gonna tell you more
than you're gonna wanna hear.
Hey, Bobby.
You should say hey
to my brother-in-law. Uh
He He was just telling me
that, uh, derringers are for, uh
What'd you say? Uh, faggots.
[Saul] Oh, Lord.
Hey, friend, I don't know how you got
mixed up with Jimmy here,
but you are gonna run fast
in the other direction, okay?
I mean, this man is no more than an ant
enslaved by an animal!
[chuckles]
Oh.
You know, you might have
my sister fooled, but not me.
I don't know who you are
or what you've become
But I do know this
God hates you.
Deeply.
[laughs]
You have a good trip.
[laughs]
Oh, Jimmy.
Bobby!
[laughs]
Hey, uh, Bobby,
can you come down here a sec?
Please, just come down here for a second.
[Bobby sighs]
Listen, um
I was just
- [Jim choking]
- Whoa!
Get in the back!
- Please, Bobby.
- In the back.
- Get in the back!
- [screeches]
- In the fucking car!
- We got ourselves a lovers' quarrel.
- [Saul] Oh, oh. Oh, no.
- Spanky, it's okay.
City boys like it rough, huh?
- Open the fucking cage!
- It's okay.
It's okay. It's okay. I'm with you.
In the cage. In the fucking cage.
Well, thank you, Bobby. Cheers to you.
[Saul chuckles]
Oh. Oh, come on, now, Bobby. Calm down.
Hey, Bobby. Hey. Hey!
Come on now. Hey,
I'm a man of the cloth! No!
[gunshot]
[Spanky screeching]
Fuck!
- [Spanky screeches]
- [Jim] Bobby, what What did you do?
Bobby, please.
What did you do?
Please be reasonable, huh?
Let let me out of here!
[screeching continues]
I can barely breathe here.
[whimpers]
Okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's just
It's our friend Bobby.
[Bobby] Just admit it.
What?
You know goddamn well
what I'm talking about, Jim.
You used me.
I mean, you wanted to rattle
God Almighty back there,
so you trotted me out
like an ape on skates.
This your plan all along?
Listen, I I didn't do anything
until he got violent with me.
And I needed help.
And I thought you could help me.
That's all. That's all.
- I thought you could help me, okay?
- You said we had a deal.
- We we do.
- You said you're a straight shooter.
I am.
But you're not.
Bobby, Bobby, listen to me.
I thought you could help me, okay?
I I never did anything.
I never planned it.
No, no, Bobby, we
we can talk about it out there, huh?
Just open the cage, huh?
Please, Bobby!
Bobby?
Say, why are you bouncing?
There's no no There's no need to bounce.
Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Stop fucking bouncing!
[whimpers]
You speak English?
Yes, sir. My family, they
Oh, your family? Yeah.
Yeah, we all got family.
I had a dad. Used to beat me
with a 34-inch Louisville Slugger.
I remember coming home one day
And all I saw was red.
That fucker beat my mother so bad,
I thought he'd repainted the walls.
You ever seen anything like that?
You see, the problem is
I just don't know what to do with you yet.
Hey.
- [gunshot]
- [screams]
[whimpers]
You lying fucker!
God dammit, you sneaky bastard!
Oh, fake crying on me, motherfucker.
[sobs]
[gunshot]
Fuck you.
[sighs]
[Bobby]
You just don't get it, do you, Jim?
I turned a corner when I got on this road.
Realized I was tired.
Tired of people, tired of the sneering,
the jabbering, the lying.
And I decided if I catch a liar
lying to me
Well
So we gonna be straight
with each other from here? Hmm?
[grunts]
[groans]
If we have any more bumps on this road,
I'm gonna crush your little ring
and feed it to Spanky.
I'm sorry, Bobby.
You deserve respect.
And and respect means honesty. Always.
I know.
Don't get too comfy here.
We're just making a pit stop, okay?
Can you dance?
I Yeah.
["Tell Me You'll Be Mine" playing]
Drivin' home tonight
All those stars
Ain't shinin' too bright
Although I know you're right
- Can I use this?
- Sure, yeah.
Mmm! What do you think?
A real man about town, huh?
Um
You look fine.
I mean, you you could look better.
Better?
Yeah, um
Just tell me you'll be mine
And my heart will surrender
Come here.
- And I'll be
- [banging on door]
[person] Hey!
What's going on in there?
Try it on. We'll just be a minute.
Tell me you'll be mine
- Okay, let me see.
- Hi. I'm Jim.
You seen my monkey?
- I wouldn't go that far.
- [laughs]
But, you know,
it's a little bit different, you know?
It's a good color.
- Here.
- Mm-mm.
Cologne's for queers. Mm-mm.
But that's not true.
Smell it. Just smell it.
You're telling me
that doesn't smell nice? Yeah?
- [sniffs]
- And we kind of, uh,
complement each other a little bit.
Both wearing sweaters.
- I mean
- Yeah. [Clears throat]
You don't have a tie on,
but that's more my speed.
- That looks good, Jim.
- Thanks. You too.
Come on, Tulsa. Let's dance.
Mine
And my heart will surrender
Tell me you'll be mine
I'm I'm coming.
And I'll be there forever
Tell me you'll be mine
[Bobby] What do you mean, program switch?
It's not my program.
[passersby laugh]
This is Rodney's, right? Yeah, okay.
So you go to Tulsa, you go to Rodney's.
You go to Rodney's, you go
ballroom dancing. Says it on your sign.
It says on your fucking pencil.
"Rodney's Ballroom Dancing."
We still offer ballroom dancing, sir.
Tuesdays, Thursdays, every other Saturday.
- This is the other Saturday.
- Oh, fuck. So, what's
Okay, what's
what's the program tonight, then?
The rock and roll program, sir.
I'm gonna take this pencil
and I'm gonna stab it
in your fucking eyes!
Have a good night.
Bobby.
- You said you liked rock and roll.
- That ain't the point.
You can't meet a girl at rock and roll.
It's too damn loud.
You have a girl.
South Haven, homecoming, the party?
I know. I I just wanna talk.
But you actually gotta
meet somebody first to talk to 'em.
Well, you can still do that.
I'm not
I'm not the kind of guy
to just go up to somebody.
You know, I I got
I gotta have a thing first.
You can still do that.
["Getting Too Hot" playing]
[Spanky chatters]
[horn honks]
[horn honks]
Go on, buddy. Say hello for Bobby.
[Spanky chatters]
- Oh, my God!
- Oh!
Oh! [Chuckles]
- Hello.
- This is Spanky.
- Say hi.
- Hi, Spanky.
- [Jim chuckles]
- Adorable!
- Nice to meet you.
- Yeah.
He really wanted to meet us?
- Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
- [chatters]
When Spanky really truly likes someone,
he smiles in this really particular way
and, um, he shows every tooth.
[all laugh]
Yeah, that's exactly what he did
when he saw the two of you, you know.
Same as with my good friend here.
This is so cool.
We got his doll right now in our basement.
So you're saying we can
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
you can smoke in front of him.
Just don't give him one,
'cause I'm sure he's gonna ask.
[women laugh]
[Jim] But, uh, just just be relaxed,
like you're at the drive-in
with your boyfriend.
Oh, we don't got boyfriends.
Daddy won't allow it.
He's super strict.
And he'll be coming by the
theater later to pick us up.
Come here.
Hey, you shouldn't call him
Spanky the Chimp.
You should call him Spanky the Pimp, huh?
Okay.
[both laugh]
So you're gonna talk, like you wanted?
Yeah, I just gotta figure out
which one I'll have first.
Hey, you said you wanted to talk.
[sniffs] Yeah, I wanna talk.
I wanna ask them
some specific questions, you know.
Talking is just one part
of tonight's festivities.
Hi. Oh.
Hey, I cannot be a part of some
Some depraved scheme to get these girls.
Well, you can.
Jim, I think it's time for you
to stop being Mr. Tight Ass
Start being Mr. Fun.
Ladies!
Oh.
What do you say we, uh, give Daddy a call
and tell him we're gonna
get a ride home with our classmates?
- Let's dance.
- That's good.
I can't believe we did that.
Go ahead, grab the door, darling.
Well, that's just not how That
That's just not how it works. I'm sorry.
[caller] Look, I discussed it with my team
- and it's not the right time right now.
- Oh.
Well, then, I guess we're not your team.
- Don't look at it that way.
- Okay.
Listen, you have a good day.
I'll talk to you
- You too. Thanks for your time. Okay.
- [coin slot clicks]
Oh, yeah. Yeah, no, no. I still have
the skates, the same exact ones.
You can strap 'em right on him.
He's he's as fast as a Cadillac.
I'm I'm not sure
who told you he cradles infants.
- That that is not correct.
- [caller 2] Look, even if I believe you
That is not correct.
I can call you next month. Sure.
[caller 3] I love you and Spanky.
I'm sorry. I wish I could do more.
- Okay. Thanks, Alan.
- Yeah.
- Take care. Bye-bye.
- All right.
Yeah, all the best to you too. Okay.
[sighs]
So, uh, no boyfriends, huh?
Amy says she can wait till college.
I can't.
That's 'cause
Whitney won't get in to college.
So your dreamboat guy, what's he,
you know, what's that guy look like?
The two M's.
Mantle and Maris?
Money and muscles.
Oh.
So that's what does it
for chicks now, huh?
Money and muscles.
Not me.
- I like Paul McCartney.
- [Bobby] Oh, yeah?
He in your class?
Yeah, I sit next to him in home ec.
Look, so, say, um
Say you and this guy Paul,
you been going steady for a while.
And you decide to end it with him,
but, you know, Paul really likes you,
and he wants to
get back together with you.
What What can a guy like Paul do?
Gin! [Squeals]
I never lose at cards.
- [Esther] Hello?
- Oh. Hello.
Yes?
- Did, uh, Saul call?
- [sighs]
Of course he called.
What do you think, Jim?
- Oh. Uh-huh. What did he say?
- Some crazy man in the car with you.
All right, I did have someone with me,
but it's just someone
who needed a ride and...
- He had a gun, Jim.
- No, he's a really nice fella.
- He almost shot Saul.
- So I don't think
- you have to worry about it at all.
- I'm way past worrying.
How could you even do that to my brother?
I can't even trust you anymore.
- [yelling]
- I'll make it real simple.
If you're not here in time tomorrow
to complete the deal that I made for us
Okay, I'll call you tomorrow,
okay? I love you.
- Yeah, right.
- But I gotta go.
This is the final straw, Jim.
We'll be done.
- Bye.
- I mean, done. The end.
- [Amy, Whitney squeal]
- [Bobby] What?
[Jim] Now, what is going on?
There's nothing going on.
- Your friend, he grabbed her.
- [Bobby] Jim, she touched my arm.
- She grabbed She was hold
- We need to leave now.
Our father works for the mayor
and we're gonna tell him everything.
You know, I never get a chance
to talk to women.
We're done talking.
We might start screaming, though.
- Really? Why don't you try it, then?
- Bobby.
- You smarty little bitch!
- Stop. Bobby! Hey!
Calm down, Bobby. Settle down.
[knocks]
I I'm sorry, ladies, about my friend.
But do we look like the kind of guys that
would do anything to upset anybody?
- Yeah, you do. Couple of creeps.
- Specially him.
All right, all right, I wasn't here,
so I don't know what happened,
but I I do know
That that he is just
staying in character.
I mean, you do know
who that is, don't you?
You've seen that program Route 66?
On television?
Remember two seasons ago? That's him.
You know, they say he could be
the next James Dean.
And, well, he could.
I mean, look at him, right?
And we were just trying to have a nice
night out in Tulsa to do research for him.
'Cause he's gonna have to
go back to the show next season recurring.
So we we were just doing some research
and and I think maybe he just
got a little carried away is all.
So why don't we, um, just get
these cards back up and, um,
maybe we could just play some more gin,
right? Nice and easy.
And then we could, uh
We'll tell you anything that you
wanna know about working in television.
- Really?
- Yeah, we can, um
We could just deal into another, um
another hand of gin if you if you want.
- Sure.
- Yeah.
Okay, good.
[Jim] What'd you wanna ask them?
Or was that just your way
of getting them here?
You see, B Bonnie was my girl and, uh
And she decided that she didn't
wanna be my girl anymore.
Said I was a nobody.
So you wanted advice
from some other girls about yours?
You ever think about
Trying to be a little less forceful?
I mean, just not as, um quick-tempered?
Maybe instead you could try to be
a little more gentle.
I'm just saying.
That might be the kind of advice
a girl'd give you.
Mmm.
Nah. Nah, I'm I'm gentle.
I am. I'm I'm gentle.
I can be gentle when I wanna be.
Watch this.
Shh.
Shh.
[whispering] How's that for gentle?
Was that gentle?
How's that for gentle?
That's gentle.
[vehicle passes by]
["Needle of Death" playing]
- Let's go. Tonight's the night.
- Shh.
- We gotta keep moving.
- Bobby, Bobby.
- [exhales]
- What, the whiskey or the cigarettes?
When sadness fills your heart
And sorrow hides
The longing to be free
When things go wrong each day
You fix your mind
To 'scape your misery
[groans]
You okay?
You know, the highway'll settle me down.
Well, come on, we gotta get rolling.
Yeah.
How strange your happy words
Have ceased to bring a smile
From everyone
How tears have filled the eyes
Of friends that you once
Had walked among
Your troubled young life
Had made you turn
To a needle of death
[chattering]
One grain of pure white snow
Dissolved in blood spread quickly
To your brain
[laughs]
In peace your mind withdraws
Hey, look at this. Almost home.
I just saw it in his back pocket.
Gave him a nickel for it.
Fucker didn't tell me it was yesterday's.
Okay, well, you're gonna have to
pay for this too.
But you have the money.
I'm not paying for this.
- Bobby, you're just gonna
- No. You are just gonna
Just, Jim, clear your head, you know?
Think of something normal, like,
like giving Spanky a sponge bath.
- Okay?
- Hey, Bobby, no, don't
Jim [whispers indistinctly]
We gotta get going.
There's this diner in St. Louis,
world-famous pancakes.
It's good stuff, huh?
Yeah.
It does the trick, I suppose.
I'm not talking about the drink.
I'm talking about the lift.
Well Oh, uh, yeah, it was, um
It was something, like a like a feeling.
You know, walking past the clerk,
making it to the curb. I
Yeah, I know, I know. You know,
sometimes it gives me a hard-on.
Maybe it's because I'm thinking
about Bonnie, though.
Hey, maybe I should tell her that tonight.
Yeah, maybe I should tell her before I
[Jim] What?
Before you what?
Hmm? Before I give her stuff.
It's her birthday.
See, she's having this big birthday party.
That's why I've been, uh
That's why I've been racing back.
Figured I'd try to,
you know, surprise her.
See, uh See what happens.
Have a little, uh,
a little reckoning.
A reckoning? What does that mean?
I got something. [Clears throat]
This is from Hoover Dam.
Yeah, this one's from, um
from Death Valley.
This one's from Rodney's. Last night.
This one's from here.
And I gotta tell you, Jim,
these pancakes, not too great.
Kind of doughy.
Well, I guess I won't order any, then.
Well, I'm gonna give her this stuff, see?
I'm gonna show her the places
I've been, the things I've seen.
And And maybe I won't just be this,
you know, discharged shit kicker
from down the road,
with a freak for a brother
and a drunk for a dad, you know.
Maybe if I give her this stuff,
she sees what I've seen,
maybe I can be better.
[Jim clears throat]
Thank you.
I don't know, man,
I don't know. We'll see.
Hey, Bobby, I'm sure
she's gonna love all that stuff,
and wanna hear
all about your stories, and
Sure.
Hey.
You are better, Bobby.
You can do whatever it is you wanna do.
Sure, yeah.
You just decide to do it.
TV star, huh?
Well, why not?
Hey, if I can teach a chimpanzee
how to play the piano, then
You can do whatever you wanna do.
You know You know,
I I got other stuff here too.
Um Okay, close your eyes.
Don't peek. Okay.
[clears throat]
- All right, open them.
- Open them?
Yeah, open 'em up. Let's go.
Well
We're still 300 miles from Chicago.
It's fine.
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
Thanks, Bobby.
Thanks.
Hey, Bobby
While we're at it, I was wondering if
I could get something else from you.
You know, in the Chevy.
You know, the, um
Yeah.
You're not gonna need it
anymore, you know.
We said that you can do
whatever it is you wanna do, so
So I can take it off your hands
for you and
Um.
It was just a thought, you know.
Just a, uh a passing thought.
I'm I'm gonna feed Spanky, then.
I'll see you outside.
Sorry. Yeah, all right. Keep the change.
Hey, buddy, I got some pancakes.
One, two, three, four!
["Call Me Baby" playing]
Fucking look at me!
[cook screams]
[Bobby]
I'll stab you in your fucking eyes!
- Let's go! Let's fucking go!
- What?
- [tires screech]
- Get the fuck out of here!
What the hell did you do
back there, Bobby?
[Bobby] That chef
was looking at me accusatory-like,
- so I stabbed him in his fucking hand.
- Jesus Christ, Bobby!
Jesus is not gonna help him!
[Bobby cheering]
[door slams]
Oh, God.
- [Spanky screeches]
- Okay, buddy, it's okay.
Hey, hey, um, you know,
Spanky hasn't had any food today,
so we're not going ten feet
until he gets something.
- [screeching continues]
- [banging]
[grunts]
All right. All right.
Okay. Here. Here you go.
Okay, I told you eye contact
is number one.
I'm making eye contact.
Well, you're looking at him,
but that's not the same thing.
So contact is the key word.
You wanna lock in
- Okay.
- without fear.
- Just friendship.
- Hey.
- [Spanky chattering]
- And trust.
Hi. Hey, this is this is yours.
- Hey, this is for you.
- Okay. Right?
For you. This is yours.
It's yours! Take it!
No. Okay, that is just too fast.
That's okay.
You know, he he he sees [shushing]
Down. Okay.
He sees quick movements as aggression.
So you wanna move at an even tempo.
It's kind of like you're underwater
with him, you know?
- No. Bobby, no.
- [Bobby groaning]
Okay, no. Bobby.
- No, you just wanna Uh-uh. Shh, shh.
- [chattering]
You just wanna go gentle, like Just like
Yes, slow, but
- And then put it down.
- The apple?
- Yeah, put it down at his feet.
- Then I'm not actually feeding him.
[Jim] It's something better.
It's you engaging him.
See, you're showing him respect
by allowing him to choose,
and then Spanky'll respect you
by choosing to eat.
- Yeah, there you go.
- Okay.
[Jim] Watch. Watch.
He'll go. See? Yeah, yeah.
- He did it.
- [Spanky chattering]
Damn, that's a pretty monkey.
He's a chimp!
Well, see, Bobby?
You just fed Spanky, huh?
You see that apple, huh?
You want it, huh?
You want me to peel it for you?
Is that good?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, I bet it's good, huh? [Chuckles]
Did you see how happy he looked
when he was eating that apple?
His whole face just lit up
when he took a bite. You know what I mean?
It was kind of like
he was jerking off or something.
- Kind of.
- [Bobby chuckles]
Well, you know, he he does do that.
Huh?
He beats off?
I mean, you know, sometimes he just, uh,
you know, he gets the urge.
It's true.
You should get him to do it at the gig.
That'd be pretty funny.
Please. Can you imagine
how people would react?
- I can't believe it. No kidding? Really?
- What, would I lie to you?
Well, you know, as a matter of fact,
you do lie pretty easily.
- What?
- Come on.
Route 66, TV star, and Jimmy Dean?
I mean, that that's just
show business, right?
Yeah, right. Is that all it is? Showbiz?
Showbiz.
All right, I wanna get some sleep
before the party tonight.
- Okay.
- You wake me up when we get to Chicago.
Monkey jerking off.
[radio host] And that's why I say
good evening, everybody.
It's a beautiful night out here
in the windy city of Chicago.
I've got a question
for my friends and neighbors here
listening to me
right here, right now. If you
- [Jim] Hey, buddy.
- [Spanky chattering]
Say goodbye to Bobby, huh?
So are you gonna be, uh,
you know, all right?
Yeah, yeah.
No, I'll be fine. I'll, you know,
I'll I'll find my way.
Do you want a
Do you want an apple for the drive?
Uh Yeah. Sure.
Where is it?
- What?
- You know goddamn well what.
Don't play any games with me.
Where the fuck is it?
Well, um I I threw it away.
While you were sleeping.
You know, I I thought it was
the best thing to do. For you.
Bobby, you you don't need it.
We got to a point where
- What the fuck!
- [choking]
- [banging]
- [Spanky grunts]
[Spanky screeches]
[Jim choking]
[Spanky shrieks]
- [Jim groans]
- [Bobby grunts]
- [chatters]
- [panting]
[coughs]
[laughs]
[chuckles]
- [chattering]
- [Jim] Well
I tried.
[grunts] God.
[grunts]
[cage rattling]
[exhales]
Huh.
[groans]
- [banging]
- [Jim] I know, Spanky.
We're gonna find him.
- I know you wanna say goodbye, buddy.
- [Spanky chatters]
[mutters]
[Jim] Hey-o.
Just go to your damn gig.
[brakes squeal]
[hand brake creaks]
[engine stops]
It's
It's not a gig.
I just wanna make good on our deal.
I'm not a liar.
[Bobby] Yeah, I don't think that's all.
I think I think maybe
you wanna run off with me.
Or maybe you just want me to kill you.
Put you out of your misery
once and for all.
And what happens to Spanky?
Well, I don't care.
I'll I'll kill him too.
After everything that we've been through,
I have to believe you wouldn't do that.
This one's autographed.
Sort of.
"Bonnie and Bobby."
[chuckles]
It's got quite a ring to it, huh?
I think you and Spanky
need to have a proper goodbye.
Okay. Let's see.
Sit, sit, sit.
You're doing a good job, huh?
Yeah. Hey. Come on, buddy. You good?
Guess you completed our deal.
Guess I did.
I, uh
I hate to ask this, but, um
I don't have any money.
Yeah. Yeah, okay. Uh, what do you need?
Gas and, uh, you know, food for Spanky.
He hasn't had anything solid today, so
Of course, yeah, that's Should be good.
All right, well. See you later, chimp.
Oh, wait. Um, hang on a second.
- It looks really good on you, so
- [chuckles]
Maybe you'll wear it for Bonnie
when you get home.
Stellar threads, huh? Thanks.
[Spanky chatters]
It's okay, buddy. It's okay.
Say goodbye to Bobby, huh?
- [chatters]
- [Jim] That's right.
[whines]
See you around, big guy.
Yeah.
Don't you even think
about doing that to me.
Take it easy, huh?
Thank you, Jim.
[door opens]
[spanky chatters]
[door closes]
[soft jazz music playing]
Okay. Okay.
Impressed?
Uh
It's, uh striking.
It's sickening.
But sometimes sickening
is good as a reminder.
- [Jim] Yeah, reminder.
- [Spanky grunts]
I don't know if my wife mentioned,
but I I did bring, um,
the apples that he likes,
'cause I thought it'd be good for you
to have a supply for a few days
As a reminder
of what people are capable of.
Like my parents, in the past,
killing for trophies.
[Jim] Don't you let him guilt you into
giving him more than a few at a time,
'cause that's his trick, and,
and he doesn't feel well,
and you have to clean up
People who put animals on the stage
and make them dance.
Excuse me?
Pan troglodytes were never meant to dance.
I Pan troglodyte?
The actual term for a chimpanzee.
Yeah, if you wanna call him
a Pan troglodyte, but
I think you get farther
just calling him Spanky.
I'll get your check.
[Spanky chatters]
The price just went up $2,000.
Your wife and I, we made a deal.
Well, I don't see see my wife
anywhere around here, do you?
So you're making a deal with me now.
And the price just went up
if you want him.
I want all his paperwork.
You can send it to my attorney.
[Jim] Okay.
Did you get new clothes for him?
He is done with clothes now.
I'm setting him free.
- Oh, no. No, Spanky, it's okay.
- [screeches]
- Oh.
- No, no, Spanky. Spanky, no, no, no.
- [Jim] It's okay. No, no, no.
- Hey, it's okay. It's okay.
- Spanky, it's okay. You're okay.
- It's okay. It's okay.
Shh, shh, shh.
It's okay. They can't hurt you anymore.
It's okay. It's okay.
- [screeches]
- Stop! Stop him! Get him! Get him!
- [chatters]
- Right here. Okay. Okay.
All right, Spanky. [Pants] Let's burn.
[engine starts]
[narrator] They say there's no wrong time
to make the right decision.
Well, I guess there's always
an exception to the rule.
[banging]
[person sobbing]
[narrator] That was Bobby.
He never made it to Bonnie in South Haven.
Goddamn it!
The hell is wrong with you, huh?
[narrator]
Instead, he went back to his old ways
Because some endings
are written before they've begun.
[Bobby] Whoo!
[narrator] It all caught up to him.
Two guys heard him talking about
the men he murdered
and tipped off the cops.
At least that's what the papers said.
- [sirens wail]
- [panting]
[chatter on police radio]
[Bobby] You guys keep asking about
the five guys that I killed.
Well, hell, those fuckers are dead.
Why don't you ask me
about the one that I let live?
["He Was A Friend of Mine" playing]
[narrator] As for us,
things really turned around again.
We got the show back on the road,
with new opportunities
and some old tricks.
And that about does it for my story.
[typing]
I'm telling it just like I saw it.
You can trust me on that.
He was a friend of mine
Yes, he was a friend of mine
Well, it ends up the hero
from this whole thing was Spanky.
And I have never in my life
picked up a hitchhiker.
But this time I thought,
"Well, it's a college kid.
I'll give him a ride."
And we got about halfway across,
and out came the gun,
and then the kid
that I thought was just a college kid
was bragging about
how ten minutes before I picked him up
on that corner by Las Vegas,
he had just murdered a couple
that were over the hill in their car.
What in the hell do I do?
Is this kid for real or what?
But with that gun
in your ribs the whole time,
and you're driving, you had to go through
a couple of small towns,
and when you're stopped at the stoplight,
you said, "Let's see,
I can jump out now and run away."
Yeah, but if you do,
what's gonna happen to Spanky?
So the kid said later,
"If I hurt you, I'd have to hurt Spanky,
and I like Spanky."
And I went, "Oh, that's nice."
You know, you're going
Your mind's going a mile
and it's trying to figure,
"Oh, my God, how did I
get myself into this kind of a mess?"
- [upbeat instrumental music playing]
- [applause]
[announcer] Introducing Spanky.
They tell us he's the only chimpanzee
in the world who can ice-skate.
The simian star of the flashing blades
has a barrel of tricks.
Barrels, that is.
[applause]
a good story makes us human,
so I'd like to tell you mine.
But don't think you've got it figured out.
It's complicated.
The summer of '64 changed all of us.
When you live your life on the road,
freedom's a crapshoot.
Hey, is it, uh "the" Hoover Dam or is it
Is it just Hoover Dam, with no "the"?
I think it's the Hoover Dam.
I think it's not just a monument,
you know, it's it's a statement.
It's like
It's like, "Hey, Colorado River, fuck you.
No rolling through here on our watch."
[tires squeal]
["The Pusher" playing]
Whoo-hoo!
You know, I smoked a lot of grass
And I
[narrator]
So before I get ahead of myself,
let me take it back a few weeks
to Death Valley, California.
Things hadn't been easy
and life wasn't the same anymore.
People weren't the same anymore.
Everyone was killing each other,
even on the TV.
[gunfire on TV]
And there we were,
another long hot day on the road,
car breaking down on us again.
[sighs]
So it's the air filter.
Was the air filter.
Now it's pretty much the whole thing.
Well
[indistinct voice on radio]
I was, uh
I was so hoping
that you could fix it for me.
Well, I could fix it if you gave me
a few days. You gave me an hour.
Did enough to patch it.
You'll still need an overhaul
as soon as you can.
Especially carrying cargo like that.
[person on radio] Dr. and Mrs. Peterson
are, however, known protestors
of the war in Vietnam.
- Here you go. Thanks.
- Her son, Jonathan Peterson,
who served a time
as senior airman in Vietnam,
- was killed last month
- You're short.
Well, you said that it
That it wouldn't be so expensive.
Earlier.
That's before you told me
you needed rush work.
Had to get right on it.
Set all other business to the side.
[radio volume lowers]
Well, then
Hey, I can always put her back
the way you brought her in.
No, uh
That's rush work, so, you know
I understand.
[line ringing]
[sighs]
[person] Hello.
- [phone beeping]
- [coins clink]
- Hello, hi. Hi. It's me.
- What? What is it?
I just wanted to say that, you know,
it looks like I'm actually
a bit ahead of schedule
and so I think I have some
some time tomorrow.
I could maybe stop in and see Saul.
[sighs] Jesus Christ. We went over this.
No, I know, Esther. But I'm
I'm just saying that,
you know, if I go there,
you know, he he owes me, so, uh
We agreed,
- no getting sidetracked, right?
- Yeah.
I worked hard setting this up.
No, I know that, but
I worked hard to make something happen
after you quit making anything happen.
So all you need to do now
is focus on the destination.
- No, I'm just saying that if I go there
- [hitchhiker] Hi.
and have a talk with him that I
- That you'll what?
- [hitchhiker] I'm kinda stranded out here.
- I'm trying to get home to Michigan.
- Talk with Saul about what?
- Maybe I could get a ride with you guys?
- Don't say anything, right?
- [travelers laugh]
- [hitchhiker laughs]
- [Esther continues talking]
- [driver] I don't think so.
[hitchhiker] Like, you know, well, why
[travelers laughing]
Jim? Jim, don't go see Saul.
Are you listening to me?
- [sighs] Jesus Christ, I'm hanging up.
- [sighs]
[call ends]
[person on radio]
With the summer breeze in the air,
people want their news fast
and with no funny business.
That's the way we see it too.
[person on radio continues]
Hey!
This ain't no hitching post!
So unless you wanna buy candy or Camels
What?
Oh! Oh, you wanna take a swing at me?
Is that it?
Well, come on, big man,
I ain't got all day.
[horn honks]
Excuse me.
Do you, uh
Do you need a ride?
Um, I'd be happy to, uh
I'm going east on 66.
You a suck?
- I'm sorry?
- Sick fuck. Suck.
Um
No, I'm not. Um
Well, I'm not sure where you're headed,
but you're welcome to
come along for a ways.
I'm Jim.
I'm Bobby.
Well, hop in, Bobby.
The, uh, wheels died on me
back near Death Valley there.
I'm in a hell of a hurry.
[chatter on radio]
[Bobby] Damn, it feels good to be moving.
Yeah, I gotta hit
I gotta hit Michigan quick.
Night after next, I got a, uh
Got a homecoming with my honey
in South Haven.
Oh, well, I'm headed that way.
Chicago, actually.
Oh. A first-timer, huh?
You just told me
exactly where you're going
instead of waiting to tell me,
or, you know, being vague-like.
So now I know how long I can ride for.
Well, I fell a little bit behind today,
so I thought, you know
Yeah!
Get a backup wheel man. Sure thing.
I can burn.
Hell, this is 66.
We're on the Mother Road.
Plenty of room out here
to do some damage, huh, Jim?
[seat belt clicks]
Can I ask you a question?
[squawking]
Roaming.
That's all.
That's what you were gonna ask,
right? Where I been?
I been roaming.
Experiencing America.
One end of the 66 back to the other.
You're, uh, what, in the army?
Air force. I mean, I was.
I didn't even make it overseas.
I got discharged.
It was a damn shame too,
'cause I was all ready
to go do me some bombing.
So why the discharge?
Say, what's with all the questions?
- Oh, I'm sorry, I I thought I was
- What is this, a game show?
What's My Line?
Well, I'll tell you my line.
Not answering any more
of your fucking questions.
Whoa, honest, Bobby, I'm sorry.
- I'm just making conversation...
- [animal chattering]
- What the hell is that?
- No, no, it's okay.
- Oh, you
- Just gonna
- What the fuck?
- It's okay, Bobby.
- Bobby, it's okay.
- [Bobby muttering]
- Shit.
- It's okay, Bobby.
[Bobby] You fuck.
Fuck.
[Jim] Hey, big fella.
Hi. It's okay. It's okay.
- Hey, you're all right.
- The fuck are you talking to?
Oh, I was meaning to mention.
So you're just gonna hang out.
I want you to meet him.
His name is Bobby. Okay, okay.
- [screeches]
- [Bobby screams]
- What the fuck is that?
- Bobby, just calm down.
Got a hairy deformed
fucking baby in there?
- Calm down, okay?
- What the fuck?
- You're a fucking creep!
- Listen. Listen. Listen.
- You sicko.
- You have got to calm down.
I wanna introduce you,
but you gotta calm down, okay?
- Calm down? Fuck you!
- Please, please, calm down, okay?
- Ah, shit!
- I wanna introduce you to him.
- All right? Hey, it's okay.
- [screeches]
You're worse than a suck, mister.
You're a fucking super-suck,
I swear to God.
All right, Spanky.
All right, buddy. Here you go, okay?
Who's always got you, right?
Who's your friend?
Who's gonna make sure
you're okay all the time, huh?
Okay, okay. Okay. Come on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
- [Bobby laughs]
- Shh! Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
[laughs]
- It's a monkey.
- It's okay. It's Bobby.
He's our friend. You wanna say hi?
You Spanky? Are you Spanky?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.
Wait. Did you just say Spanky?
Jim, you don't understand. I seen
everything that fucking monkey ever did.
- Chimp.
- Huh?
- He's a chimp.
- Huh?
Chimpanzee. It's the ape family.
It's the closest relative to humans...
Ed Sullivan, Perry Como, Today Show.
- Motherfucker's done 'em all, right?
- Yeah.
Yeah, I can't believe it.
Middle of the 66.
Middle of the 66, I'm racing home,
and I run into a certified legend.
That is
- All right, all right. Shh. All right.
- God bless America. Oh.
Say, Jim, shouldn't he be
on a plane right now?
Monkey-humping stewardesses?
Sipping wine in first class?
It's harder to fly with him commercially.
It's the new regulations.
Yeah, but he's got gigs, though, right?
Jim, what's he doing in Chicago?
[Spanky chattering]
It's a private engagement.
[sighs] It's really important.
So, um, where did you guys
plan on stopping tonight
before you got to running behind?
Um, Albuquerque.
Albuquerque
Albuquerque
Yeah.
Yeah, sure thing, I can burn.
And you can tell me every last thing
about that famous fucker.
[Spanky chattering]
[Bobby] Monkey!
[Bobby clicking tongue]
Bobby.
["I Had Too Much To Dream (Last Night)"
playing]
Last night your shadow fell
Upon my lonely room
I touched your golden hair
And tasted your perfume
Your eyes were filled with love
The way they used to be
Your gentle hand
Reached out to comfort me
Then came the dawn
And you were gone
You were gone, gone, gone
I had too much to dream
Last night
[Jim] You know there's a theory
about chimps?
Give him a typewriter and enough time,
and Spanky could write
all of Shakespeare's works.
[Bobby sighs]
Well, Shakespeare's an asshole.
Last night
Last night
Oh, too much to dream
Oh, too much to dream
Too much to dream last night
Oh, too much to dream
Oh, too much to dream
Oh, too much to dream
I had too much to dream
[Jim groans]
[Bobby] Hey, New Mexico!
Let's dance.
So I burned it or what?
[Jim] Uh, yeah. That was, uh
Good driving.
Um
Well, I'm beat.
I'm gonna get the, uh the room.
Yeah, sure thing.
Hey, we better be out 6:30 sharp.
We gotta keep moving.
Okay.
You know, um,
I'm sure there's rooms with two beds.
Oh, I'm good up front here.
- You sure?
- Yep!
Okay.
- Hey.
- Say, uh, Jim!
- [whispers] Shh. He's sleeping.
- [whispers] Oh, sorry, yeah.
- He's sleeping.
- Yeah.
- What is it?
- Say, you think I, uh
You think I can feed him?
Oh, uh
Well, he's resting now,
but that's a really nice offer.
Oh, yeah.
So maybe how about breakfast?
Uh
Well, I don't know, Bobby.
- I don't know if it's such a good idea.
- Jim, come on.
You said it yourself, he's got, like,
99% human characteristics.
- How hard can it be?
- It's the one percent
you gotta be careful of.
That's That gets tricky, you know?
It's Look, here. Here.
See? Yeah?
And I'm trained to deal with him.
Look what he did to my arm.
I mean, honest, Bobby,
it's for your own good. Really.
A chimpanzee
has the strength of seven men.
Seven queer men maybe.
I ain't no queer.
Ed Sullivan fed him, but I guess
I ain't no Ed Sullivan neither, huh?
I'm sorry. I I don't
I don't think it's a good idea.
[Bobby sighs]
Okay. Um
Get some rest, buddy, okay?
[Jim] Hello? Sir, hi.
Was hoping I could check in.
- So you're rolling by moonlight.
- [chatter on radio]
Rough out there.
You know, the things I hear
on this police CB.
- [sighs]
- Yeah.
Too many miles can shake a man's insides.
But I've got something
that could clear that up. Yes, sir.
[country music playing on radio]
[thudding]
My daughter keeps asking,
"Daddy, why do you do this?"
And I say, "Because I'm trying to help."
I'm just trying to
make this world a little better
"instead of a little worse any way I can."
Great deals on each.
Best medicine around.
There's nothing more calming
than to know you've got
one of these close by
right there in your glove box.
Puntilla. The Mexicans use these
on their horses.
Slices the bone right off the flesh.
Me? I just keep one under the bed.
Helps me sleep at night.
Now, let's say a man
is a little bit more, uh, frail.
Get a knife like this.
You see that handle?
You just touch that and that's calming.
You just touch that
and that will cool a man's
blood temperature right down.
Now, the cheapest
Is the neck knife.
Now, you wear it right back there
and it firms up your whole posture.
Say you got a firm neck,
so you got firm shoulders.
Got firm shoulders, you got a firm back.
You got a firm back strong stomach.
And you, my friend,
have the perfect neck for a neck knife.
Hell, I could see that.
Uh, thank you kindly,
but, um,
I think I'm okay on the knives,
but, uh, maybe I just
take the room tonight, you know.
A fella like you for sure
ought to have himself a blade.
Well, uh
A fellow like me would really like
to have a room tonight,
so
I'm just trying to get you well.
Uh
Well
[clears throat]
Best of luck.
Okay.
Thank you.
[chatter on radio]
[Bobby whistles]
Hey, yo!
Over here!
Hey, I need your help with something.
- What are you doing in that car?
- Come here.
- Whose car is that?
- Come here.
Come take a look
what I got in my hand. Come.
I'm sorry, it's too dark. I can't see.
Oh, it's okay. Come here. Come closer.
What are you gonna do with that?
What do you think I'm gonna do with it?
It's a stickup, Jim.
What, a stickup? What?
Bobby.
Don't go acting
like you're the monkey now, Jim.
Bobby.
Bobby, you don't wanna do this.
Yeah, you don't know what I want, Jim.
But I I I do know what you want.
We spent all day together
talking about it.
You wanna get back
to Michigan to your girl,
to her party, and you You wanna tell her
all about the Hoover Dam.
You met Spanky today.
Bobby, we're we're we're friends.
- Why are you holding a gun at my head?
- Shit!
God. Fucking Fucking fuck!
- [punches]
- [Jim yells]
Shit.
Why?
[coughs]
Shit! You fucking, fucking fucker!
What did I say?
Give me your wallet. Give me your wallet.
What's that?
Hey, give me your fucking ring.
Very serious.
Why are you doing this?
Hey, Jim.
Ow, Bobby!
[groans]
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey. Here's the deal.
If I see a car with sirens
anywhere in this zip code,
Spanky gets it.
Bobby, I promise, you won't
you won't see any cops.
I promise.
[breathing heavily]
[imitating chimp sounds]
Hell of a thing, this.
Nobody in South Haven
would ever believe it.
Hmm.
You know, I don't wanna scare you, Spank.
That's what I've been trying to say.
I'm not like, you know
I'm not a bad person.
Not at my core.
I just got pushed, see?
I was set off when I got on this road.
I'm just gonna make sure
you're all nice and tight here,
so you don't slip away on me.
Say, ain't you Mr. Calm.
[captive] I fly jets at Fort Custer.
Hmm. Hmm.
You even make it through basic?
You ever shot one of those? At a person?
Look, there's no money back here.
But you can look on the ground
for a few pennies.
Take your girl out.
[gunshot]
Oh, God.
God dammit, look what you made me do!
Well, I guess now you know
I know how to shoot it, huh, fly-boy?
- [Esther] In New Mexico?
- [Jim] Yeah.
So, um, just about, uh,
60 miles from Albuquerque.
- All right.
- Yeah.
Well, there should be no more trouble now.
So, no, but tomorrow, I think I'll
I'll definitely have chance to, um...
[sighs] Here we go.
Just, you know, swing by Saul's
and and say hey.
- You're not funny, Jim.
- No, it's not a joke, Esther.
For goodness' sake, Jim,
why are you being so stubborn?
- Because I feel like he...
- The show's over.
- You're not gonna ruin this for us.
- Well, we'll see, huh?
[line disconnects]
- [phone rings]
- [chimp screeches]
[phone ringing]
[breathing heavily]
[ringing continues]
[Esther] The show's over, Jim.
Spanky?
The deal is done, Jim.
You had your chances.
- Spanky!
- The show's over, Jim.
Spanky...
Hey, big fella.
How you doing, huh? Looking good.
Yeah, he just got up.
- Oh, yeah?
- Mm-hmm.
- [Jim] Hey.
- Breakfast?
[Jim] No, no, I I'm okay.
More stellar threads!
Jim, that's a nice shirt!
You know, if I had a shirt like this,
I'd be President Jack himself.
Without the, um, blown-out head.
Um
Well, listen, Bobby, I was thinking, uh,
last night as I was, um, trying to sleep,
I thought if we could just have
a quick chat about, um
You okay?
Just turn with me slowly.
Look over my shoulder.
Did you call them?
- No.
- No?
- Don't lie to me.
- I don't lie.
We had a deal, Bobby, and I kept it.
I swear.
Get in the car real normal-like.
But I have to check out and...
Get in the fucking car.
- Shit.
- [engine starts]
Start the fucking car!
Shit.
Just go steady.
You, uh You been thinking?
- I'm sorry?
- Before, you said, "I been thinking."
Oh, uh, yeah.
I I was thinking about, um,
a new deal,
you know, for us.
You're headed to Michigan, right?
South Haven, girlfriend,
before midnight tomorrow.
I'll take you as far as I'm going,
end of 66, Chicago,
and, you know, we'll arrive early evening,
and and you're only 120 miles away.
Easy to hitch a ride
from the big city, right?
Ah, that's no deal.
I could have done that myself.
That's pointless.
Yeah, but I'll guarantee
that you get there.
Quick stop in Amarillo later,
a motel outside of Tulsa tonight,
and, you know, no trouble, no police.
Ah, well, what's in it for you?
Um
I get the wallet and my ring.
And you can hang on to them
until we get to Chicago.
- Well, why do you want 'em so bad?
- I just do. Very much.
[lighter clicks]
Say, I got a, uh [clears throat]
How do you What do you
What do you call it? I got a
I got a counteroffer.
How about I shoot you in both eyeballs?
I get your ring, your wallet,
your car, your keys.
And you get to be blind and dead.
How does that sound?
Okay, well, you know, if I'm dead,
then, you know,
who's gonna take care of Spanky?
[laughs]
You think You think
I give a fuck about a monkey?
Bobby, I told you already, he's a chimp.
There's a difference. He's not a...
Fucker could be Ed Sullivan himself.
I could give a shit.
Oh, come on. It's a fair deal, Bobby.
And I'll honor it just like
I honored my deal back there,
and you honored it too.
[Bobby] Hmm.
Can you drive faster?
Your driving is driving me nuts.
["Eve Of Destruction" plays]
The Eastern world, it is explodin'
Violence flarin' and bullets loadin'
You're old enough to kill
But not for votin'
You don't believe in war
But what's that gun you're totin'?
And even the River Jordan
Has bodies floatin'
And you tell me over
And over
And over again, my friend
How you don't believe
We're on the eve
Of destruction
Don't you understand
What I'm trying to say?
Can't you feel the fears
I'm feeling today?
- [Bobby] Where you going?
- A quick detour.
You won't find Jesus in Amarillo.
With the world in a grave
Take a look around you, boy
It's bound to scare you, boy
And you tell me
Over and over
And over and over again
How you don't believe
We're on the eve
Of destruction
I heard you don't believe we're
On the eve of destruction
- [person] Hey!
- I won't be long.
You take long, I take off.
[person] No service today.
You gotta come back tomorrow!
Jim! Keys.
- [sighs]
- [person] Did you hear me?
Saul.
- My Lord in heaven. Is that Jimmy?
- Yeah.
- Jimmy?
- Yeah!
[laughs]
Can't believe
that we found you out here, huh?
My Lord in heaven. I thought
I thought you were a mirage or something.
A flicker in the heat devil.
What are you doing here?
Are you allowed to say "devil"?
Come on, out here, in the promised land,
I can say a lot of words.
I can even say "damn."
As in it has been too damn long!
[laughs]
- Man, look at you.
- Yeah.
You smell like flowers.
- Oh.
- Oh, hey, sweetheart.
[Saul whistles] Genesis, inside!
So, where you been?
Uh
You know, work.
- A lot of traveling and...
- Sure, work, work, work,
work, work, work! Mmm!
- That fancy life, huh?
- Mmm. You know.
Showbiz!
Of course, uh,
I guess sweeping up all that ape shit
really isn't all that fancy, is it?
Well, it's not all there is to it,
you know.
- Mm-hmm.
- It's, uh
- It's worth it for me.
- Is it?
I'm not so sure now
when the beast in the box
keeps you from the man on the cross.
[Jim chuckles]
That's That's why
I never did showbiz, you know.
- Oh.
- And I could have.
I mean, we both know I had the talent.
- But then the man called.
- Oh, the man called and you heard.
And he led me to places of need.
There's a, uh, lot of need out here, huh?
Come on, let's get a beer.
Let's go. Come on!
[laughs]
Jimmy, crack corn
And I don't care
I'm just gonna be a sec, Bobby, okay?
So why don't you, uh,
tell me what you're really doing here,
huh?
Uh, I'm I'm good, thanks.
I'm really here because, you know,
when Esther told me where you were,
I couldn't pass without saying hello.
Hello.
I wanted to see
what you've been up to since I saw you,
and it seems like things
are going real well, huh?
It's impressive.
And just, you know,
well, I wanted to just
have a chat about the loan.
[chuckles]
There it is. I see it.
That is why you didn't call me in advance!
You figured you'd just show up here
and corner me.
- No, it's not
- Start talking about loans.
No, no, it's not about
cornering you, you know?
It's just it's been almost two years,
and you said you'd pay us back,
and I'm just here
to talk about that, you know?
- I thought we can have a conversation...
- Jimmy, come on.
I told you that I am a man
who pays his debts, didn't I?
But then you haven't
paid it back, Saul. Any of it.
Take a look around. I'm not exactly
riding high hog here, okay?
- Well, I'm not either.
- Please.
Listen, the, uh
The network canceled Spanky's contract.
Saul, I'm having a real hard time
getting us jobs.
Mmm. Mm-hmm.
Last year, he had a lung issue.
I had to take out a loan to fix it.
You know, he almost didn't make it, Saul.
And there's the food for him, and the car,
and all the travel that we have to do.
And I don't know what to do.
There's a lot of...
Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy! Shut up.
I don't wanna hear it!
My God, he rolls in here
looking to fill up his collection cup.
It seems to me that he has forgotten
who here serves the shit and who eats it!
No, Saul. No. No, no!
[Saul laughs]
- Seems like you've forgotten it, huh?
- Whoo! [Laughs]
- Seems like you've forgotten, huh?
- Yeah.
You've forgotten a lot of things, huh?
You wear that cross,
call yourself a minister.
- To little girls, huh?
- [laughs] Fiery! I like it!
- You don't wanna talk to me about this.
- No, sir.
You don't wanna talk to me
about what you owe me?
I got nothing to say to you at all, Jimmy.
Okay, okay.
Well, maybe
You should talk to my friend Bobby.
Ooh, Bobby. Who's Bobby?
Is that your little boyfriend there?
Is he
Is he your muscle, is he?
You know
He's gonna tell you more
than you're gonna wanna hear.
Hey, Bobby.
You should say hey
to my brother-in-law. Uh
He He was just telling me
that, uh, derringers are for, uh
What'd you say? Uh, faggots.
[Saul] Oh, Lord.
Hey, friend, I don't know how you got
mixed up with Jimmy here,
but you are gonna run fast
in the other direction, okay?
I mean, this man is no more than an ant
enslaved by an animal!
[chuckles]
Oh.
You know, you might have
my sister fooled, but not me.
I don't know who you are
or what you've become
But I do know this
God hates you.
Deeply.
[laughs]
You have a good trip.
[laughs]
Oh, Jimmy.
Bobby!
[laughs]
Hey, uh, Bobby,
can you come down here a sec?
Please, just come down here for a second.
[Bobby sighs]
Listen, um
I was just
- [Jim choking]
- Whoa!
Get in the back!
- Please, Bobby.
- In the back.
- Get in the back!
- [screeches]
- In the fucking car!
- We got ourselves a lovers' quarrel.
- [Saul] Oh, oh. Oh, no.
- Spanky, it's okay.
City boys like it rough, huh?
- Open the fucking cage!
- It's okay.
It's okay. It's okay. I'm with you.
In the cage. In the fucking cage.
Well, thank you, Bobby. Cheers to you.
[Saul chuckles]
Oh. Oh, come on, now, Bobby. Calm down.
Hey, Bobby. Hey. Hey!
Come on now. Hey,
I'm a man of the cloth! No!
[gunshot]
[Spanky screeching]
Fuck!
- [Spanky screeches]
- [Jim] Bobby, what What did you do?
Bobby, please.
What did you do?
Please be reasonable, huh?
Let let me out of here!
[screeching continues]
I can barely breathe here.
[whimpers]
Okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's just
It's our friend Bobby.
[Bobby] Just admit it.
What?
You know goddamn well
what I'm talking about, Jim.
You used me.
I mean, you wanted to rattle
God Almighty back there,
so you trotted me out
like an ape on skates.
This your plan all along?
Listen, I I didn't do anything
until he got violent with me.
And I needed help.
And I thought you could help me.
That's all. That's all.
- I thought you could help me, okay?
- You said we had a deal.
- We we do.
- You said you're a straight shooter.
I am.
But you're not.
Bobby, Bobby, listen to me.
I thought you could help me, okay?
I I never did anything.
I never planned it.
No, no, Bobby, we
we can talk about it out there, huh?
Just open the cage, huh?
Please, Bobby!
Bobby?
Say, why are you bouncing?
There's no no There's no need to bounce.
Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Stop fucking bouncing!
[whimpers]
You speak English?
Yes, sir. My family, they
Oh, your family? Yeah.
Yeah, we all got family.
I had a dad. Used to beat me
with a 34-inch Louisville Slugger.
I remember coming home one day
And all I saw was red.
That fucker beat my mother so bad,
I thought he'd repainted the walls.
You ever seen anything like that?
You see, the problem is
I just don't know what to do with you yet.
Hey.
- [gunshot]
- [screams]
[whimpers]
You lying fucker!
God dammit, you sneaky bastard!
Oh, fake crying on me, motherfucker.
[sobs]
[gunshot]
Fuck you.
[sighs]
[Bobby]
You just don't get it, do you, Jim?
I turned a corner when I got on this road.
Realized I was tired.
Tired of people, tired of the sneering,
the jabbering, the lying.
And I decided if I catch a liar
lying to me
Well
So we gonna be straight
with each other from here? Hmm?
[grunts]
[groans]
If we have any more bumps on this road,
I'm gonna crush your little ring
and feed it to Spanky.
I'm sorry, Bobby.
You deserve respect.
And and respect means honesty. Always.
I know.
Don't get too comfy here.
We're just making a pit stop, okay?
Can you dance?
I Yeah.
["Tell Me You'll Be Mine" playing]
Drivin' home tonight
All those stars
Ain't shinin' too bright
Although I know you're right
- Can I use this?
- Sure, yeah.
Mmm! What do you think?
A real man about town, huh?
Um
You look fine.
I mean, you you could look better.
Better?
Yeah, um
Just tell me you'll be mine
And my heart will surrender
Come here.
- And I'll be
- [banging on door]
[person] Hey!
What's going on in there?
Try it on. We'll just be a minute.
Tell me you'll be mine
- Okay, let me see.
- Hi. I'm Jim.
You seen my monkey?
- I wouldn't go that far.
- [laughs]
But, you know,
it's a little bit different, you know?
It's a good color.
- Here.
- Mm-mm.
Cologne's for queers. Mm-mm.
But that's not true.
Smell it. Just smell it.
You're telling me
that doesn't smell nice? Yeah?
- [sniffs]
- And we kind of, uh,
complement each other a little bit.
Both wearing sweaters.
- I mean
- Yeah. [Clears throat]
You don't have a tie on,
but that's more my speed.
- That looks good, Jim.
- Thanks. You too.
Come on, Tulsa. Let's dance.
Mine
And my heart will surrender
Tell me you'll be mine
I'm I'm coming.
And I'll be there forever
Tell me you'll be mine
[Bobby] What do you mean, program switch?
It's not my program.
[passersby laugh]
This is Rodney's, right? Yeah, okay.
So you go to Tulsa, you go to Rodney's.
You go to Rodney's, you go
ballroom dancing. Says it on your sign.
It says on your fucking pencil.
"Rodney's Ballroom Dancing."
We still offer ballroom dancing, sir.
Tuesdays, Thursdays, every other Saturday.
- This is the other Saturday.
- Oh, fuck. So, what's
Okay, what's
what's the program tonight, then?
The rock and roll program, sir.
I'm gonna take this pencil
and I'm gonna stab it
in your fucking eyes!
Have a good night.
Bobby.
- You said you liked rock and roll.
- That ain't the point.
You can't meet a girl at rock and roll.
It's too damn loud.
You have a girl.
South Haven, homecoming, the party?
I know. I I just wanna talk.
But you actually gotta
meet somebody first to talk to 'em.
Well, you can still do that.
I'm not
I'm not the kind of guy
to just go up to somebody.
You know, I I got
I gotta have a thing first.
You can still do that.
["Getting Too Hot" playing]
[Spanky chatters]
[horn honks]
[horn honks]
Go on, buddy. Say hello for Bobby.
[Spanky chatters]
- Oh, my God!
- Oh!
Oh! [Chuckles]
- Hello.
- This is Spanky.
- Say hi.
- Hi, Spanky.
- [Jim chuckles]
- Adorable!
- Nice to meet you.
- Yeah.
He really wanted to meet us?
- Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
- [chatters]
When Spanky really truly likes someone,
he smiles in this really particular way
and, um, he shows every tooth.
[all laugh]
Yeah, that's exactly what he did
when he saw the two of you, you know.
Same as with my good friend here.
This is so cool.
We got his doll right now in our basement.
So you're saying we can
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
you can smoke in front of him.
Just don't give him one,
'cause I'm sure he's gonna ask.
[women laugh]
[Jim] But, uh, just just be relaxed,
like you're at the drive-in
with your boyfriend.
Oh, we don't got boyfriends.
Daddy won't allow it.
He's super strict.
And he'll be coming by the
theater later to pick us up.
Come here.
Hey, you shouldn't call him
Spanky the Chimp.
You should call him Spanky the Pimp, huh?
Okay.
[both laugh]
So you're gonna talk, like you wanted?
Yeah, I just gotta figure out
which one I'll have first.
Hey, you said you wanted to talk.
[sniffs] Yeah, I wanna talk.
I wanna ask them
some specific questions, you know.
Talking is just one part
of tonight's festivities.
Hi. Oh.
Hey, I cannot be a part of some
Some depraved scheme to get these girls.
Well, you can.
Jim, I think it's time for you
to stop being Mr. Tight Ass
Start being Mr. Fun.
Ladies!
Oh.
What do you say we, uh, give Daddy a call
and tell him we're gonna
get a ride home with our classmates?
- Let's dance.
- That's good.
I can't believe we did that.
Go ahead, grab the door, darling.
Well, that's just not how That
That's just not how it works. I'm sorry.
[caller] Look, I discussed it with my team
- and it's not the right time right now.
- Oh.
Well, then, I guess we're not your team.
- Don't look at it that way.
- Okay.
Listen, you have a good day.
I'll talk to you
- You too. Thanks for your time. Okay.
- [coin slot clicks]
Oh, yeah. Yeah, no, no. I still have
the skates, the same exact ones.
You can strap 'em right on him.
He's he's as fast as a Cadillac.
I'm I'm not sure
who told you he cradles infants.
- That that is not correct.
- [caller 2] Look, even if I believe you
That is not correct.
I can call you next month. Sure.
[caller 3] I love you and Spanky.
I'm sorry. I wish I could do more.
- Okay. Thanks, Alan.
- Yeah.
- Take care. Bye-bye.
- All right.
Yeah, all the best to you too. Okay.
[sighs]
So, uh, no boyfriends, huh?
Amy says she can wait till college.
I can't.
That's 'cause
Whitney won't get in to college.
So your dreamboat guy, what's he,
you know, what's that guy look like?
The two M's.
Mantle and Maris?
Money and muscles.
Oh.
So that's what does it
for chicks now, huh?
Money and muscles.
Not me.
- I like Paul McCartney.
- [Bobby] Oh, yeah?
He in your class?
Yeah, I sit next to him in home ec.
Look, so, say, um
Say you and this guy Paul,
you been going steady for a while.
And you decide to end it with him,
but, you know, Paul really likes you,
and he wants to
get back together with you.
What What can a guy like Paul do?
Gin! [Squeals]
I never lose at cards.
- [Esther] Hello?
- Oh. Hello.
Yes?
- Did, uh, Saul call?
- [sighs]
Of course he called.
What do you think, Jim?
- Oh. Uh-huh. What did he say?
- Some crazy man in the car with you.
All right, I did have someone with me,
but it's just someone
who needed a ride and...
- He had a gun, Jim.
- No, he's a really nice fella.
- He almost shot Saul.
- So I don't think
- you have to worry about it at all.
- I'm way past worrying.
How could you even do that to my brother?
I can't even trust you anymore.
- [yelling]
- I'll make it real simple.
If you're not here in time tomorrow
to complete the deal that I made for us
Okay, I'll call you tomorrow,
okay? I love you.
- Yeah, right.
- But I gotta go.
This is the final straw, Jim.
We'll be done.
- Bye.
- I mean, done. The end.
- [Amy, Whitney squeal]
- [Bobby] What?
[Jim] Now, what is going on?
There's nothing going on.
- Your friend, he grabbed her.
- [Bobby] Jim, she touched my arm.
- She grabbed She was hold
- We need to leave now.
Our father works for the mayor
and we're gonna tell him everything.
You know, I never get a chance
to talk to women.
We're done talking.
We might start screaming, though.
- Really? Why don't you try it, then?
- Bobby.
- You smarty little bitch!
- Stop. Bobby! Hey!
Calm down, Bobby. Settle down.
[knocks]
I I'm sorry, ladies, about my friend.
But do we look like the kind of guys that
would do anything to upset anybody?
- Yeah, you do. Couple of creeps.
- Specially him.
All right, all right, I wasn't here,
so I don't know what happened,
but I I do know
That that he is just
staying in character.
I mean, you do know
who that is, don't you?
You've seen that program Route 66?
On television?
Remember two seasons ago? That's him.
You know, they say he could be
the next James Dean.
And, well, he could.
I mean, look at him, right?
And we were just trying to have a nice
night out in Tulsa to do research for him.
'Cause he's gonna have to
go back to the show next season recurring.
So we we were just doing some research
and and I think maybe he just
got a little carried away is all.
So why don't we, um, just get
these cards back up and, um,
maybe we could just play some more gin,
right? Nice and easy.
And then we could, uh
We'll tell you anything that you
wanna know about working in television.
- Really?
- Yeah, we can, um
We could just deal into another, um
another hand of gin if you if you want.
- Sure.
- Yeah.
Okay, good.
[Jim] What'd you wanna ask them?
Or was that just your way
of getting them here?
You see, B Bonnie was my girl and, uh
And she decided that she didn't
wanna be my girl anymore.
Said I was a nobody.
So you wanted advice
from some other girls about yours?
You ever think about
Trying to be a little less forceful?
I mean, just not as, um quick-tempered?
Maybe instead you could try to be
a little more gentle.
I'm just saying.
That might be the kind of advice
a girl'd give you.
Mmm.
Nah. Nah, I'm I'm gentle.
I am. I'm I'm gentle.
I can be gentle when I wanna be.
Watch this.
Shh.
Shh.
[whispering] How's that for gentle?
Was that gentle?
How's that for gentle?
That's gentle.
[vehicle passes by]
["Needle of Death" playing]
- Let's go. Tonight's the night.
- Shh.
- We gotta keep moving.
- Bobby, Bobby.
- [exhales]
- What, the whiskey or the cigarettes?
When sadness fills your heart
And sorrow hides
The longing to be free
When things go wrong each day
You fix your mind
To 'scape your misery
[groans]
You okay?
You know, the highway'll settle me down.
Well, come on, we gotta get rolling.
Yeah.
How strange your happy words
Have ceased to bring a smile
From everyone
How tears have filled the eyes
Of friends that you once
Had walked among
Your troubled young life
Had made you turn
To a needle of death
[chattering]
One grain of pure white snow
Dissolved in blood spread quickly
To your brain
[laughs]
In peace your mind withdraws
Hey, look at this. Almost home.
I just saw it in his back pocket.
Gave him a nickel for it.
Fucker didn't tell me it was yesterday's.
Okay, well, you're gonna have to
pay for this too.
But you have the money.
I'm not paying for this.
- Bobby, you're just gonna
- No. You are just gonna
Just, Jim, clear your head, you know?
Think of something normal, like,
like giving Spanky a sponge bath.
- Okay?
- Hey, Bobby, no, don't
Jim [whispers indistinctly]
We gotta get going.
There's this diner in St. Louis,
world-famous pancakes.
It's good stuff, huh?
Yeah.
It does the trick, I suppose.
I'm not talking about the drink.
I'm talking about the lift.
Well Oh, uh, yeah, it was, um
It was something, like a like a feeling.
You know, walking past the clerk,
making it to the curb. I
Yeah, I know, I know. You know,
sometimes it gives me a hard-on.
Maybe it's because I'm thinking
about Bonnie, though.
Hey, maybe I should tell her that tonight.
Yeah, maybe I should tell her before I
[Jim] What?
Before you what?
Hmm? Before I give her stuff.
It's her birthday.
See, she's having this big birthday party.
That's why I've been, uh
That's why I've been racing back.
Figured I'd try to,
you know, surprise her.
See, uh See what happens.
Have a little, uh,
a little reckoning.
A reckoning? What does that mean?
I got something. [Clears throat]
This is from Hoover Dam.
Yeah, this one's from, um
from Death Valley.
This one's from Rodney's. Last night.
This one's from here.
And I gotta tell you, Jim,
these pancakes, not too great.
Kind of doughy.
Well, I guess I won't order any, then.
Well, I'm gonna give her this stuff, see?
I'm gonna show her the places
I've been, the things I've seen.
And And maybe I won't just be this,
you know, discharged shit kicker
from down the road,
with a freak for a brother
and a drunk for a dad, you know.
Maybe if I give her this stuff,
she sees what I've seen,
maybe I can be better.
[Jim clears throat]
Thank you.
I don't know, man,
I don't know. We'll see.
Hey, Bobby, I'm sure
she's gonna love all that stuff,
and wanna hear
all about your stories, and
Sure.
Hey.
You are better, Bobby.
You can do whatever it is you wanna do.
Sure, yeah.
You just decide to do it.
TV star, huh?
Well, why not?
Hey, if I can teach a chimpanzee
how to play the piano, then
You can do whatever you wanna do.
You know You know,
I I got other stuff here too.
Um Okay, close your eyes.
Don't peek. Okay.
[clears throat]
- All right, open them.
- Open them?
Yeah, open 'em up. Let's go.
Well
We're still 300 miles from Chicago.
It's fine.
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
Thanks, Bobby.
Thanks.
Hey, Bobby
While we're at it, I was wondering if
I could get something else from you.
You know, in the Chevy.
You know, the, um
Yeah.
You're not gonna need it
anymore, you know.
We said that you can do
whatever it is you wanna do, so
So I can take it off your hands
for you and
Um.
It was just a thought, you know.
Just a, uh a passing thought.
I'm I'm gonna feed Spanky, then.
I'll see you outside.
Sorry. Yeah, all right. Keep the change.
Hey, buddy, I got some pancakes.
One, two, three, four!
["Call Me Baby" playing]
Fucking look at me!
[cook screams]
[Bobby]
I'll stab you in your fucking eyes!
- Let's go! Let's fucking go!
- What?
- [tires screech]
- Get the fuck out of here!
What the hell did you do
back there, Bobby?
[Bobby] That chef
was looking at me accusatory-like,
- so I stabbed him in his fucking hand.
- Jesus Christ, Bobby!
Jesus is not gonna help him!
[Bobby cheering]
[door slams]
Oh, God.
- [Spanky screeches]
- Okay, buddy, it's okay.
Hey, hey, um, you know,
Spanky hasn't had any food today,
so we're not going ten feet
until he gets something.
- [screeching continues]
- [banging]
[grunts]
All right. All right.
Okay. Here. Here you go.
Okay, I told you eye contact
is number one.
I'm making eye contact.
Well, you're looking at him,
but that's not the same thing.
So contact is the key word.
You wanna lock in
- Okay.
- without fear.
- Just friendship.
- Hey.
- [Spanky chattering]
- And trust.
Hi. Hey, this is this is yours.
- Hey, this is for you.
- Okay. Right?
For you. This is yours.
It's yours! Take it!
No. Okay, that is just too fast.
That's okay.
You know, he he he sees [shushing]
Down. Okay.
He sees quick movements as aggression.
So you wanna move at an even tempo.
It's kind of like you're underwater
with him, you know?
- No. Bobby, no.
- [Bobby groaning]
Okay, no. Bobby.
- No, you just wanna Uh-uh. Shh, shh.
- [chattering]
You just wanna go gentle, like Just like
Yes, slow, but
- And then put it down.
- The apple?
- Yeah, put it down at his feet.
- Then I'm not actually feeding him.
[Jim] It's something better.
It's you engaging him.
See, you're showing him respect
by allowing him to choose,
and then Spanky'll respect you
by choosing to eat.
- Yeah, there you go.
- Okay.
[Jim] Watch. Watch.
He'll go. See? Yeah, yeah.
- He did it.
- [Spanky chattering]
Damn, that's a pretty monkey.
He's a chimp!
Well, see, Bobby?
You just fed Spanky, huh?
You see that apple, huh?
You want it, huh?
You want me to peel it for you?
Is that good?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, I bet it's good, huh? [Chuckles]
Did you see how happy he looked
when he was eating that apple?
His whole face just lit up
when he took a bite. You know what I mean?
It was kind of like
he was jerking off or something.
- Kind of.
- [Bobby chuckles]
Well, you know, he he does do that.
Huh?
He beats off?
I mean, you know, sometimes he just, uh,
you know, he gets the urge.
It's true.
You should get him to do it at the gig.
That'd be pretty funny.
Please. Can you imagine
how people would react?
- I can't believe it. No kidding? Really?
- What, would I lie to you?
Well, you know, as a matter of fact,
you do lie pretty easily.
- What?
- Come on.
Route 66, TV star, and Jimmy Dean?
I mean, that that's just
show business, right?
Yeah, right. Is that all it is? Showbiz?
Showbiz.
All right, I wanna get some sleep
before the party tonight.
- Okay.
- You wake me up when we get to Chicago.
Monkey jerking off.
[radio host] And that's why I say
good evening, everybody.
It's a beautiful night out here
in the windy city of Chicago.
I've got a question
for my friends and neighbors here
listening to me
right here, right now. If you
- [Jim] Hey, buddy.
- [Spanky chattering]
Say goodbye to Bobby, huh?
So are you gonna be, uh,
you know, all right?
Yeah, yeah.
No, I'll be fine. I'll, you know,
I'll I'll find my way.
Do you want a
Do you want an apple for the drive?
Uh Yeah. Sure.
Where is it?
- What?
- You know goddamn well what.
Don't play any games with me.
Where the fuck is it?
Well, um I I threw it away.
While you were sleeping.
You know, I I thought it was
the best thing to do. For you.
Bobby, you you don't need it.
We got to a point where
- What the fuck!
- [choking]
- [banging]
- [Spanky grunts]
[Spanky screeches]
[Jim choking]
[Spanky shrieks]
- [Jim groans]
- [Bobby grunts]
- [chatters]
- [panting]
[coughs]
[laughs]
[chuckles]
- [chattering]
- [Jim] Well
I tried.
[grunts] God.
[grunts]
[cage rattling]
[exhales]
Huh.
[groans]
- [banging]
- [Jim] I know, Spanky.
We're gonna find him.
- I know you wanna say goodbye, buddy.
- [Spanky chatters]
[mutters]
[Jim] Hey-o.
Just go to your damn gig.
[brakes squeal]
[hand brake creaks]
[engine stops]
It's
It's not a gig.
I just wanna make good on our deal.
I'm not a liar.
[Bobby] Yeah, I don't think that's all.
I think I think maybe
you wanna run off with me.
Or maybe you just want me to kill you.
Put you out of your misery
once and for all.
And what happens to Spanky?
Well, I don't care.
I'll I'll kill him too.
After everything that we've been through,
I have to believe you wouldn't do that.
This one's autographed.
Sort of.
"Bonnie and Bobby."
[chuckles]
It's got quite a ring to it, huh?
I think you and Spanky
need to have a proper goodbye.
Okay. Let's see.
Sit, sit, sit.
You're doing a good job, huh?
Yeah. Hey. Come on, buddy. You good?
Guess you completed our deal.
Guess I did.
I, uh
I hate to ask this, but, um
I don't have any money.
Yeah. Yeah, okay. Uh, what do you need?
Gas and, uh, you know, food for Spanky.
He hasn't had anything solid today, so
Of course, yeah, that's Should be good.
All right, well. See you later, chimp.
Oh, wait. Um, hang on a second.
- It looks really good on you, so
- [chuckles]
Maybe you'll wear it for Bonnie
when you get home.
Stellar threads, huh? Thanks.
[Spanky chatters]
It's okay, buddy. It's okay.
Say goodbye to Bobby, huh?
- [chatters]
- [Jim] That's right.
[whines]
See you around, big guy.
Yeah.
Don't you even think
about doing that to me.
Take it easy, huh?
Thank you, Jim.
[door opens]
[spanky chatters]
[door closes]
[soft jazz music playing]
Okay. Okay.
Impressed?
Uh
It's, uh striking.
It's sickening.
But sometimes sickening
is good as a reminder.
- [Jim] Yeah, reminder.
- [Spanky grunts]
I don't know if my wife mentioned,
but I I did bring, um,
the apples that he likes,
'cause I thought it'd be good for you
to have a supply for a few days
As a reminder
of what people are capable of.
Like my parents, in the past,
killing for trophies.
[Jim] Don't you let him guilt you into
giving him more than a few at a time,
'cause that's his trick, and,
and he doesn't feel well,
and you have to clean up
People who put animals on the stage
and make them dance.
Excuse me?
Pan troglodytes were never meant to dance.
I Pan troglodyte?
The actual term for a chimpanzee.
Yeah, if you wanna call him
a Pan troglodyte, but
I think you get farther
just calling him Spanky.
I'll get your check.
[Spanky chatters]
The price just went up $2,000.
Your wife and I, we made a deal.
Well, I don't see see my wife
anywhere around here, do you?
So you're making a deal with me now.
And the price just went up
if you want him.
I want all his paperwork.
You can send it to my attorney.
[Jim] Okay.
Did you get new clothes for him?
He is done with clothes now.
I'm setting him free.
- Oh, no. No, Spanky, it's okay.
- [screeches]
- Oh.
- No, no, Spanky. Spanky, no, no, no.
- [Jim] It's okay. No, no, no.
- Hey, it's okay. It's okay.
- Spanky, it's okay. You're okay.
- It's okay. It's okay.
Shh, shh, shh.
It's okay. They can't hurt you anymore.
It's okay. It's okay.
- [screeches]
- Stop! Stop him! Get him! Get him!
- [chatters]
- Right here. Okay. Okay.
All right, Spanky. [Pants] Let's burn.
[engine starts]
[narrator] They say there's no wrong time
to make the right decision.
Well, I guess there's always
an exception to the rule.
[banging]
[person sobbing]
[narrator] That was Bobby.
He never made it to Bonnie in South Haven.
Goddamn it!
The hell is wrong with you, huh?
[narrator]
Instead, he went back to his old ways
Because some endings
are written before they've begun.
[Bobby] Whoo!
[narrator] It all caught up to him.
Two guys heard him talking about
the men he murdered
and tipped off the cops.
At least that's what the papers said.
- [sirens wail]
- [panting]
[chatter on police radio]
[Bobby] You guys keep asking about
the five guys that I killed.
Well, hell, those fuckers are dead.
Why don't you ask me
about the one that I let live?
["He Was A Friend of Mine" playing]
[narrator] As for us,
things really turned around again.
We got the show back on the road,
with new opportunities
and some old tricks.
And that about does it for my story.
[typing]
I'm telling it just like I saw it.
You can trust me on that.
He was a friend of mine
Yes, he was a friend of mine
Well, it ends up the hero
from this whole thing was Spanky.
And I have never in my life
picked up a hitchhiker.
But this time I thought,
"Well, it's a college kid.
I'll give him a ride."
And we got about halfway across,
and out came the gun,
and then the kid
that I thought was just a college kid
was bragging about
how ten minutes before I picked him up
on that corner by Las Vegas,
he had just murdered a couple
that were over the hill in their car.
What in the hell do I do?
Is this kid for real or what?
But with that gun
in your ribs the whole time,
and you're driving, you had to go through
a couple of small towns,
and when you're stopped at the stoplight,
you said, "Let's see,
I can jump out now and run away."
Yeah, but if you do,
what's gonna happen to Spanky?
So the kid said later,
"If I hurt you, I'd have to hurt Spanky,
and I like Spanky."
And I went, "Oh, that's nice."
You know, you're going
Your mind's going a mile
and it's trying to figure,
"Oh, my God, how did I
get myself into this kind of a mess?"
- [upbeat instrumental music playing]
- [applause]
[announcer] Introducing Spanky.
They tell us he's the only chimpanzee
in the world who can ice-skate.
The simian star of the flashing blades
has a barrel of tricks.
Barrels, that is.
[applause]