Heads or Fails (2024) Movie Script

1
HEADS OR FAILS
What the hell is this?
Schlock, what the hell is this?
I'm having fun.
Where are we, Schlock?
Seriously, what the hell!
Team Red, are you ready?
Team Blue, are you ready?
Team White, are you ready?
90-second warmup after the beep.
There she is.
Batrice!
- Okay, I'm ready.
- Don't stress it.
- It's just a quick hi. Keep cool.
- No worries.
Schlock, all good?
Great!
Good to see kids interested in F2C.
Cool vibes. I'd no idea.
How does it work?
The first to complete 100 laps wins.
We'll talk later.
The race is about to start.
Just a sec, this is Armande.
I told you about her.
- Batrice.
- Armande.
She wants to come
to your party this week.
I'll think it over.
So many people want to come.
We'll talk later.
Okie dokie. Race well!
That's all?
No, it's breaking the ice. It's normal.
She said, talk later.
So later, we grill her nice and easy.
I say Blue wins.
Wanna bet?
What?
I say Blue wins!
You'd bet against me? Against Red?
She's joking. Keep focused.
If Blue wins, I come to the party.
Carpentier?
Yeah, Carpentier.
- How much you got on you?
- Nothing.
You need something or it's not fair...
How much you got?
- Nah, count me out.
- I have an idea.
If I win...
I get your shoes.
My shoes? They suck.
If you have nothing, you bet your shoes.
Okay, I'm in.
Welcome to the world of F2C.
10...
9...
Go, Carpentier!
You're the best!
5... 4...
3... 2...
1...
You didn't tell us your name.
- It's not a secret.
- Hold on!
Don't tell me.
I guess right, I get your number.
If you want but it's impossible.
I get ten chances.
No, three chances.
Wow, you play hardball...
Charles.
Not even close.
- Armande...
- Carl!
I said not even close.
Just a sec.
Get your number anyway?
I'm driving. And you guessed wrong.
So I get a surprise when you call.
What?
I won 2 tickets to Plopsaqua.
Told you I'd win.
Cool.
Yeah, so cool. Wanna come?
Pe?
My name's Pierre Edouard.
P-E to my friends.
- Watch out, pigeon!
- No worries.
It'll fly out of the way.
Brake, just in case.
Trust me.
Brake!
You psycho!
Is it dead?
Easy does it.
Sweetie-pie, come here.
Nice and easy. That's right.
Are you hurt?
You are so cute!
Mignoto...
gonna have to be brave.
I'll be back with food.
Armande!
Yes!
You've been back long?
You didn't come in?
I'd be intruding.
What are you up to in here?
Nothing.
Come on, my family's here.
Delphine...
I won't stay long. I'm a bit tired.
I might slip off to bed.
Good evening.
Where are your manners, family?
Evening!
Armande, my lodger.
I told you about her.
Giorgio, move your big butt.
Yup, I got a big butt.
All muscle.
Your butt's your biggest muscle.
What brings you all to Brussels?
It's his birthday!
Happy birthday.
It's tomorrow.
Tomorrow, all right.
And there's a security convention.
I'm a security guard.
So are they.
You too?
So what's the problem?
You don't pay your rent, I hear.
What? Me?
Of course I pay it.
I'm just a little bit behind.
Two months.
Three, counting this one.
Delphine, about the rent,
I'm on the edge.
You trust me, right?
I only charge you 150 euros,
room and extras.
It's hardly a room.
Sure that's a room.
People would die for a room like that.
You don't realize how lucky you are.
- What are you doing in Brussels?
- Dunno.
Looking for love, right?
No more showers for you.
What?
Seeing as you don't pay your rent,
it seems only fair.
No way. You're joking?
Armande, when will you ever understand?
I'm getting on in years now.
My leg gives me a lot of pain.
And my blue-eyed boy, Arnold,
just got fired.
All that's just water off your back!
I had no idea, but I care.
I'm so sorry, Arnold.
I'm sorry too.
You gotta admit, your boss, what a jerk!
Everyone's got it tough now.
Bosses, too.
They have hard calls to make.
- Especially in fast food.
- Support your husband.
400%, I do!
What time's your convention?
Yeah, go along!
I'm sure you'll find work.
Look at him, he's too thin.
He's like that.
I'm not thin.
Don't laugh, he's not thin.
You think it's funny?
I cooked for ten people,
my leg hurts,
I'm going to bed.
It was delicious.
Clear the table. Goodnight!
Are you sure?
I'll taste it, sure. Out of curiosity.
Keep that for tomorrow.
I wasn't expecting you tonight.
I told Giorgio he could take your bed.
Where do you expect me to sleep?
How should I know?
You guys work it out. I'm tired.
- Who's Giorgio?
- Him.
That's me.
Thanks for the bed.
Triple letter score. 31.
I'm getting my bed back.
- It ain't over yet.
- 31...
299!
No cheating!
No, I just got a text from my girlfriend.
Gabelou.
So that's a bingo.
2, 3... 7!
That's a lot of points, right?
39 plus 50 for the bingo.
89 points.
This is a con.
What's "gabelou" mean?
It means something like...
If you don't know, it doesn't count.
It's something like...
another word for customs officer.
Yeah.
It's another word for customs officer.
How do you know that? You cheated.
No, I have a buddy in customs. Gabelou.
- You're sure?
- Yes.
Phone.
I swear on my life I didn't cheat.
So show me your phone.
How come?
You wanna see my girlfriend's texts?
Show me your phone!
I won, period.
Wait, we're not done.
It sure is done.
I'm tired, I'm going to bed.
Can you show me
how the bed thing works?
Shit, sorry!
People are trying to sleep!
- Tomorrow's convention day!
- Sorry, wasn't me.
If you want, you can sleep with me.
No, thanks.
Armande...
What?
The best technique
is to lie on your side.
It's less uncomfortable.
Okay, thanks.
Aren't those Laura's safety boots?
She'll freak out.
It's just for today. I'll give them back.
- I won't say a word.
- Okay, thanks.
Our little secret.
You're an angel. Thanks, Giorgio.
Yeah.
Jump.
Done?
One more. Your battery died.
Let me see.
It switched off.
- Fuck it!
- Let's go. I got tons.
Yeah, any good ones?
Yeah, sure, lots.
Can we stop by yours to charge my phone?
A tomato.
Take it. That's so rare.
No, it's moldy.
- Slice it off. It's fine.
- It's moldy.
- It's just fine.
- Armande!
Why bother coming for nothing?
I'll miss my sculpture class tomorrow.
Wanna go?
Zo, I'm no sculptress.
It's modeling, doofus.
25 euros an hour.
25 euros?
You rich or what?
I'm not rich, I have a shoot lined up.
A shoot? Why didn't you tell me?
Isn't there a part for me?
See why I don't tell you?
You ignore the reality of show-business.
I know show-business. Don't be fooled.
- Look, grapes! That's so rare.
- Really?
Avocados. Really rare!
I have lots of stuff in my fridge.
I'll get roasted by my roomies.
Mushrooms! That's rare.
Want one?
Go on, take it.
Are they gonna pay you?
I'm not doing it for money.
It gives me visibility
and material for my showreel.
What's the pay?
You're obsessed with money!
Why don't you ask
"what's the role" for example?
- It's a well-paid role?
- Okay, quit shitting me!
- I'm not.
- You're shitting me!
Armande!
- What's up?
- Yvette!
You're blanking me?
- I didn't hear you.
- Really?
Meet my children. Rabi...
- And Yagouba.
- Hi, kids.
I'm Armande,
and my best friend, Zo.
Best friend? Thanks.
- We're not best friends?
- Sure.
I thought that was me.
- No big deal.
- All right...
Hold on, Armande,
could you look after them
for a couple hours?
Right now, no.
We have lots to do today.
- Right, Zo?
- No.
- What?
- We're done.
No can do.
Another time, with pleasure.
Hold on, look, I'll give you...
Look, a lemon or a cauliflower.
Here, look what I found?
A kiwi!
It's going bad but you can cut that out.
Like that.
Watch out, attacking!
Cut off the bad bits.
Cut them off.
My treat!
Kids, all afternoon with Armande...
- Happy?
- No!
Don't force them
if they don't want to.
What's the word in English?
What are you doing?
What? Don't blame me!
Bye, kids. See you next time.
Bye, ma'am.
Let's move it.
Where's the knife?
Big kiss! See you!
You're pushing it.
What the hell is this?
It's disrespectful, Zo.
Nobody wants their towel
covered in roommates' fluids. It sucks.
Speaking of,
who ate my Normandy camembert?
- That's why we're meeting?
- It's your guests.
- It sucks. Stuff disappears.
- Totally sucks.
No names, just stop.
It sucks. We keep talking about this.
Excuse me, coming through. Sorry.
See? That was my towel.
Keep going, I won't be long.
- No, no, no!
- Zo!
- Just a minute.
- Yellow card!
What have you burned?
It's just toasted.
I'm on it.
- Want some?
- No, thanks.
- Sure?
- Yeah.
You're done soon?
We're having a house meeting.
Nearly done.
Isn't that your friend's knife?
- That's your friend's knife.
- She's hardly a friend.
Stealing's not cool.
I'll give it back.
I hope you didn't flood the bathroom.
I'll get shit.
Can you turn around while I change?
Shy, aren't you?
You're nude when you pose for sculptures.
It's not the same when you get paid.
So, give Jibril his cocktail kit for me.
If it's not all there,
he'll get his panties in a wad.
- Can I trust you?
- Sure.
You're not seeing Jibril anymore?
He's an asshole.
You still love him?
You don't listen, do you?
I loathe him.
Done?
- Armande!
- All good.
You didn't dress!
Shit!
Not rushing you but you have to go!
Can you lend me 100 bucks?
Pay you back tomorrow.
- No, sorry.
- Tomorrow.
You swipe anything?
Why?
Just kidding.
Excuse me, sir...
Morning, miss.
I'd like to sell this cocktail kit.
- To make cocktails. Great quality.
- Ma'am...
- I don't buy stuff, miss.
- Really?
It comes with all the accessories.
- It'll sell in seconds.
- Can I see?
Take a look.
The box is new. It's tip-top.
No, I don't buy.
I cleaned it yesterday. Interested?
I don't buy individual items.
Please. I need the money.
All I can offer you is a swap.
- A swap?
- Yes.
- We have a deal?
- No, I want money.
Come on, I offer you a swap,
and you refuse.
Well?
All this?
It's your stall?
Yup, take a look.
Lots of great things.
Take a good look.
Yeah, even so, I want cash.
These glasses?
No, that's a luxury brand.
- A luxury brand?
- Sure, worth a lot.
All right, my kit for your glasses.
No, they're worth way more.
Let's meet halfway.
The glasses for the kit is a great deal.
This for those.
Go on.
Here. Thanks a lot.
Honestly, you've won bigtime.
You're the winner!
Armande Pigeon!
Damn! How you doing?
And you?
I'm good. You owe me 30 bucks!
You'll get it soon.
You're not hungry, Mignoto?
Mignoto?
Why aren't you eating?
You sulking or what?
Anyone in there?
Shit!
What are you doing?
I said, no showers.
I'm just washing my hands.
I told you,
I don't want you in this bathroom.
I don't trust you.
How do I go to the toilet?
That's your problem.
There's a toilet on the landing.
Get out before I piss my panties.
Not the landing toilet!
Fuck!
Just a second, please!
Sorry!
Fuck, my cup!
Just wait a minute!
Hey there.
You're late.
Sorry, P.
P-E, no problem.
Okay?
What are you doing?
Kissing you. Don't you want to?
We hardly know each other.
Okay, what do you want to know?
I thought we'd eat and chat over dinner.
And chatting leads to questions, like,
what do you like?
And jokes, you know.
Then maybe we'd get intimate.
My dad killed my mom.
I'm sorry.
Just kidding.
Hold on...
That's a joke?
It's not funny.
- No...
- What?
You don't get it.
- I'll go.
- Hold on, we didn't eat.
The bream sandwiches are great.
I told you on the phone,
I don't like fish.
- Really?
- And you wanna meet here.
You really don't listen.
I'll be going.
Have fun. Goodbye.
Whoa, handsome, you were hungry.
I don't know if Zo already explained.
Right now, we're working on duality.
- She told you?
- No.
It pays better?
No.
This is Ronnie.
Ronnie, this is...
I forgot your name.
She's replacing Zo today.
Don't I know you?
No, don't think so.
Sure I do. Where from?
I'm pretty sure I never met you.
I'm absolutely...
I met you somewhere before.
I'm sure I never met you.
No doubt about it.
My eyes don't lie.
I've seen you somewhere before.
Can you undress?
I have.
- First pose.
- Let's go?
Let's go, buster.
There we are.
Ronnie has
a very risky proposition for us.
I'd like you to build on that.
Along the lines of duality.
There you go.
Irena, can I have a quick word?
Actually...
I'm on my period.
I'd like to keep my panties on.
That sucks but anyway...
Keep them on.
- Keep them on.
- Sorry.
Don't be sorry.
We can't do anything about it.
Go ahead.
I will then.
I see the balance is off.
I can't hold out 90 minutes like this.
- Sure.
- I overdid it.
- Sure.
- Something else?
Of course, yes.
Go ahead. It's your call.
90 minutes like that? One position?
- 90's easy. I did 3 hours once.
- I want to sit down.
- Sit down?
- I think it's better.
Can I...
No, stand up, please.
Stand up.
Opposite him like that. That's better.
Both, right leg forward.
Both, right arm up.
That's right, duality.
How's that? Comfortable?
Just fine.
Great, let's go.
So, my artists,
you're going to decipher that.
What do we see?
We visualize the overall form.
We never start with...
details.
All right?
We never start with details.
And while you're putting it together...
Zo's roommate?
No.
Actor?
No.
Training course?
No talking, please.
You're deconcentrating people.
Of course.
I know! In the...
Your whole body vibrates when talking.
We need stillness!
Apologies. I'm still as still can be.
The planes.
F2C?
You saw me fly?
Three days ago. With Schlock.
Who's Flock?
My buddy. Sorry, hold on...
What's that?
Armande, back in position, please.
Freddy, I kept calling.
No way!
Will you please hang up?
- I'll be 1 second.
- Fine!
- I have the photo.
- You free?
No, I have a life!
Should we laugh or cry?
Talk when you're done.
- About what?
- Serious shit.
All good.
Look! Telephone!
- You're working here.
- Apologies.
- Still as still can be.
- Last warning.
Got a girlfriend?
Enough!
Take your stuff and go.
Wow, absolute nonsense!
Never saw anything like it.
Why doesn't it work? What is this file?
Print
Need to connect it to...
It doesn't work.
Why doesn't it work?
Maybe it already printed?
I'll just check...
How come this doesn't work?
how to care for a pigeon
Hello there, friends. My name is Manou,
and this is my channel, Love on a Wing.
Love on a Wing
How to care for a wounded pigeon?
If you find a wounded pigeon,
please don't turn your back on him.
He needs taking care of.
Pick him up nice and gently.
Put him in a warm place.
A cardboard box or even a shoebox.
Put holes in it, so he can...
No internet! No surfing!
It's not internet.
Are you okay?
Sure, I'm practicing.
Let's say Tuesday, okay?
Cool, see you.
Julie, your turn.
Yeah?
She's first, okay?
Come on.
Chlo, you're early.
I know. I'm sorry.
No worries.
What is this, Freddy?
Auditions.
This is Gisle, my new assistant.
A pleasure.
Frdric told me so much about you.
Could you make us coffee?
Sure, no problem. Want anything?
Yeah.
I'd love a donut, please.
What?
Get her a donut.
- Photos?
- Yeah.
Here.
What's this?
What you asked for.
Are you for real?
I said, send photos by email.
For the website.
- Really?
- What century do you live in?
- I dunno.
- And I'm old?
Anyway, listen up...
I'll wipe out your debts.
What are you talking about? What debts?
Here. You don't have to thank me.
11 all-you-can-eat sushi bars,
218.50 euros.
45 Mtro tickets, 117 euros.
112 showers, 112 euros.
One euro a shower?
I said, it's wiped out.
You counted our showers
when we were dating?
Let's go for coffee later.
- Is that me?
- Chill!
- No shoes! Take them off!
- Hold on.
Schlock, I'm in a meeting.
Where? You're a half-hour late.
A half-hour late for what?
Our meet at Plopsaqua.
Shit! Hold on.
Thanks.
- I'm talking!
- Yeah, what?
Batrice called.
- She's down for tonight.
- Cool!
Armande, our audition!
Hold on.
See you tonight.
I'm all alone at Plopsaqua!
You never said a word.
You're not on my list. Name?
Sorry. I'm not?
Sure. Armande Pigeon.
What is this, Freddy?
This is an audition. You in?
All right.
Text.
Here.
Your text.
It's intense.
That's all the director gave me.
Can you stop eating your donut, please?
We'll go straight into a read-through.
Maybe take your coat off?
To camera or not?
Seriously?
I dunno.
Let's go.
When you're ready.
I have good and bad news.
Can I do that again?
I have good and...
It's crap. Hold on, here goes.
I have good and bad news.
Tell me.
The bad news is my dad will...
He'll kill us
if he finds out about us.
The good news is I love you.
I love you too.
Your line.
I'm sorry.
I love you, you love me.
Let's live far from Paris. It's shit.
We'll be together at last. I love you.
She repeats it?
- Drop the text.
- It's not there.
Drop the text, I said.
You get the idea.
Don't act it out. It's improv.
Yes, here we go.
Look, just forget the text.
Forget it. There we go.
Go with your flow.
- I have good...
- Wait!
- Two secs.
- What?
Action!
I have good news. And bad.
Tell me.
Which one? Good or bad?
Whatever.
Don't get it.
The good or the bad news?
Whatever. All right, bad.
You're sure?
Yes.
- Sure?
- Go ahead.
No regrets?
My dad will kill you.
And?
Yeah.
So what?
He's mad.
And?
You're a dead man.
So what's the good news?
I love you.
Let's...
leave Paris.
The city's...
Okay, we're good.
- We are?
- Yup.
That was quick.
No worries. Cut.
Hey, ladies and gents.
Schlock's voicemail.
Can't take your call, leave a message.
I'll get back to you. Big kiss!
Schlock, it's Armande.
Still okay for 8pm at yours?
Call me.
Let's get a pic.
So I'll always remember you.
Anyone home?
That's my bed!
Wait! No!
- You keep a pigeon?
- Giorgio!
Please don't tell Delphine.
He's hurt.
Please, Giorgio.
- I won't snitch.
- You're an angel.
Watch out.
It's like a kind of pet.
Yeah.
A little pet pigeon.
That's why it stinks.
What do you want?
We're eating out for dad's birthday.
I don't wanna go.
You want to come?
No, I have plans.
Really? Can I come?
Go out with your dad. He'll be sad.
He's always sad.
You know...
I didn't snitch about the shoes.
Laura's looking all over.
She's sad too.
Don't move, Giorgio.
Someone wearing earbuds
doesn't want anyone to bother them.
Hold on a second.
Hey, ladies and gents.
Schlock's voicemail.
Can't take your call, leave a message.
I'll get back to you. Big kiss!
Schlock, where are you?
My battery's dead. Call this number.
Putting your earbuds in
means you're in your bubble.
If I don't want to bother...
If I don't want anyone to bother me,
I put earbuds in.
It's a sign, saying back off.
Quit ringing, wastes the batteries.
Who is it?
Ruth, it's Armande. Is Schlock in?
Armande?
It's Armande!
Is he in or not?
Door open
What do you want?
It's a disaster.
Amar got his head stuck in the fridge.
- What the hell?
- All good, I've got it.
Where's Schlock? He stood me up.
Don't know. He's not answering.
Can I just charge my phone?
Like I give a shit! There!
Sorry, nice to meet you.
I'm Schlock and Jibril's mom.
And I'm Amar, son.
Can you try pulling my husband?
What's going on?
If you charge off the power strip,
the fuses blow!
I had no idea.
Holy shit! It's a fiasco!
If we pull him here...
Look.
The door's wide open.
That hurt's. My cheek's iced up!
Jibril, sweetie, I was expecting you.
Dad's got his head stuck!
- That's why you called?
- Let's bounce.
What's she doing here?
Who let you in?
Your folks.
It's their home, not yours!
The neighbors!
You'll get us kicked out.
Are you nuts? You better have my money
and cocktail kit.
I don't have your cocktail kit.
My 500 bucks?
500? Are you sure?
Jibril, help your father.
Just gotta deal with this.
My 500 bucks!
You're sick.
I have 1 euro.
How much you got?
Maybe 50 euros.
50?
Hand it over.
Why give him 50 euros?
You think he's hotter than me?
- What?
- Dude's odd.
Who are you calling an asshole?
I didn't call you an asshole.
You're sick!
Zo was right to dump you.
Don't say that name!
You have a problem. Come on, Giorgio.
What's going on here?
Let's see your nose.
Is it serious?
Fine, no worries.
It's not like I need it for work.
Unlike these.
Check out those guns.
Madam! Nobody's doing a thing.
- Hello.
- Who is this?
- Armande?
- For me?
- Who is it?
- Put Armande on.
- Schlock?
- Maybe. Who is it?
- Armande, please.
- It's Schlock?
Think so.
I came by as planned.
- No-show not cool.
- No kidding.
You no-show, I no-show.
Great, you're so smart.
- We're quits.
- Fine. Where are you?
Giorgio, you got those 50 bucks?
- Why?
- I'll reimburse you.
What? I'll come with you.
Sit tight, your nose is running.
I'll be back.
- Sure?
- Swear.
- You'll be back?
- Sure.
The money?
- Check out my wallet.
- Where?
- Front pocket.
- The bag?
My pants. There.
Got it.
It's not 50 bucks. I'll make do.
You'll reimburse me?
Giorgio, I love you so much.
Fuck it!
- You didn't dress up?
- I didn't know. You didn't say.
I did tell you. You got the money?
Yeah.
We said at least 100!
- You didn't say.
- I so did.
You may not get in.
Anyway, here. That makes 50.
You angel. I have something for you.
A gift.
Like them?
Let's go?
Okay. Just be cool, okay?
You always say that. I'm cool.
Batrice.
The shades!
- Remember Armande?
- Of course. New shoes?
Just teasing.
A quick pic for my socials.
He bet he could smoke a whole pack
in under 7 minutes.
That's not good for F2C.
Dumb, Ronnie.
Schlock can bring his girlfriend?
Excuse me.
She's not my girlfriend.
It's Yves. Can I come?
Go to the casino. Not here.
Smoke!
C'mon, fuck it!
Don't want you at Centro.
- Please.
- Ciao.
30 seconds and 1 smoke left.
Okay, Ronnie?
Forget it.
Last one.
Better give up.
Lighter! Who's got a light?
Go on! He takes forever.
Watch out...
5... 4...
3... 2...
1...
All done.
- That's one's not done.
- C'mon, you must be kidding.
- Done or not?
- Not done.
- She's not finished.
- No, sorry.
- 10 euros each. Next time...
- Shit!
You won't be so dumb.
You fuck me off!
Made me cry.
Pony up.
Gimme a break.
- What about me?
- You bet?
Gimme that.
Fleeced him.
Well, guys.
What a chump!
Only 50 left.
Can't play Ten Thousand. I'm out.
What's the buy-in for the Ten Thousand?
100 each per game.
Schlock told me 50.
What? I never said that.
I have 50. We can team up.
Sure, why not?
Nobody ever did that.
- Batrice?
- Sure, if you want.
They share their winnings.
What the heck is this?
It's not your problem.
I'm pumped for this.
It's 100 each.
So cool.
- You put in 100?
- 50 + 50, sure.
Here we go.
- Quick headsup maybe.
- You never played?
It's been so long.
It's simple. Score 10,000 points.
1 is worth 100, 5 is worth 50.
She just scored 250, for example.
You know each other?
No. Yes!
- The little planes.
- F2C.
He's my pilot.
Okay, dude.
She scored zero,
so it's the next player's turn.
- Whose turn is it?
- Schlock, you're up.
Combinations are worth more.
Three 4's is 400.
Three 6's is 600.
No, I need a 1 or a 5.
That you didn't get.
No biggie. Gotta warm up the dice.
400... and 50.
I'll stop there. 450's good.
No, don't stop.
450's good.
- If he doesn't want to.
- It's my dough.
You two now.
- Wanna roll?
- No, you wanna roll?
- Roll.
- Roll, roll.
- Sure?
- Go for it.
A quick kiss.
What you doing?
A quick kiss.
All right, 1's and 5's.
No way, you're kidding me.
What a fluke!
- No way!
- What?
- I never saw that in my life!
- What did I do?
Six 1's in one roll. That's 10,000.
You win straight off the bat.
No. Schlock, see that?
Bravo. Beginner's luck.
That's insane!
- I gotta take a photo.
- Why?
Come on...
Another game?
Our team's building a little fortress.
A deal for you.
- Shoot.
- We don't change a winning team.
Are you playing?
- Our turn?
- You're not alone.
C'mon, play!
We're here to have fun.
Come on!
- That makes 1,100.
- Hold on.
You're sure?
No worries.
Unbelievable! Now we start over.
There you go! My turn.
Plus 700, all right! That makes...
9,950.
50 points for 10,000.
Already? That's unfair.
Are you guys cheating?
They're hammering us. It's weird.
We wait a turn or roll now?
Tricky.
Enough of the strategic timeouts!
Calm down, dude!
- Do it?
- Sure.
We won!
You are so fucking jammy!
Sorry, the Armande-Ronnie connection
distills magic with every game.
I'm cleaned out. Come on, Armande.
Coming?
What?
We came together, we leave together.
You're leaving?
Ronnie and I are a team.
Keep going?
With pleasure!
- Fuck it, Armande.
- Schlock, back off.
- Who is that guy?
- Quit mumbling!
Calm down.
When I need you, nobody home.
- I gave you the shades.
- That's why?
Screw your shades!
Sorry.
No big deal.
Would it be a good time...
Let's raise the stakes.
From 100 to 200?
You're in?
Great.
Where are the dice?
Who was last to play?
- They were on the table.
- Schlock! The bastard!
Surely, he didn't...
I'll be right back.
Fuck, he busts my balls!
Busts my balls!
Your buddy's nuts.
- Who does he think he is?
- I'm gonna find him.
Forget it, Batrice is going to bed.
The money! It's still inside!
Thank you! I got a real fright.
Smell good?
Go to the casino with the guys?
Kids, you coming? Now's the time!
Massoud, don't fall asleep.
I'm preparing psychologically.
What'll you do with it?
- Our money?
- Yeah, what'll you do with it?
When I say our money...
We'll split it 50-50.
Yeah, I know, dude.
All I want now
is to hit the tables.
What would you do
if you got rich? In real life?
I need to think.
I know.
If I win big, I pay off my debts
and start over, clean slate.
I'd buy Cristiano Ronaldo
and tell him to do tricks in my yard.
And you?
Me?
I'd buy a new phone, I think.
Mine's a pain in the ass.
It keeps dying. All the time.
And you?
- Me?
- Yeah.
I'd buy a plane.
A plane?
Single engine. For short flights.
Nothing fancy.
You know anything about planes?
Not at all. Can you fly?
Yeah. Got my license last year.
The plane I want's a little beauty.
25,000 euros, two-seater. Magnificent!
25,000? That's huge!
I'm not there yet.
Halfway, that's a start.
I thought we were the same,
but you're rich.
I'm not rich.
I do odd jobs, hospitality, sales.
I get by.
You're rich.
You were right. This is insane.
No kidding.
Let me grab a pic.
Ma'am!
That's prohibited.
Sorry.
No more.
You smoke?
It's free?
Hello.
Sorry,
can you give us a smoke?
We left ours at the coat check.
They're menthols.
My favorites.
Great.
Thanks.
Freaky!
Who is that guy?
Just one.
Both generous and tight.
Wanna play?
Let's go.
Sit there?
Or there? Just there.
Go for it.
Evening.
They're following me.
- Where do we buy chips?
- Right here.
How much do you want?
All of it?
Let's do it.
We don't have to play it all.
Put it here.
Thanks.
200, 300, 400...
500, 600...
700...
800...
900...
1,000...
1,100...
It's not so much.
1,200.
1,200 euros.
1,200!
What's she doing?
- Here you are.
- That's all?
Yes, 12 times 100.
Place your bets.
All right, 75!
- Pass.
- 20.
Pass.
Card.
Pass.
15. Card. 25.
Honestly, it's too easy!
Can you smell that?
Is it me?
- I stink.
- It's money.
Money, sorry!
How much for round 2?
Go for it.
Okay, 100.
- Just like that.
- We play, we win.
- Amazing.
- It never stops.
Blackjack!
No way!
150 for blackjack.
- Why'd I never come?
- Let's not get excited.
Sure, but we've won 250 euros
in 30 seconds.
Look at Massoud!
Hey, we can't concentrate here.
See?
How much?
- Double?
- Yeah.
We'll go 200.
What's he doing?
After you, same hand.
You don't mind?
Same difference.
Sure, no problem. My pleasure.
Card.
Card. Go on, card.
Perfect.
Thank you.
- I knew I should bet on you.
- I'm done.
You'll bring me luck tonight.
Excuse me, what's the maximum bet?
- 3,000 euros.
- 3,000?
- What we got?
- 200, 300...
900, 1,000, 1,100, 1,200, 1,300...
1,650.
You're really going to bet 1,650?
I'm feeling it.
Nope, honestly, I'm feeling it too.
- Sure?
- Let's go.
Not scared.
1,650!
And 1,400.
That'll be 1,350, sir.
If I may...
Thank you.
Ladies and gents?
Ace for the bank.
Card.
Card on 12. 22!
Card.
Pass.
- 13.
- Card.
24!
Sorry. I swear, Ronnie...
Can you take a photo?
- Here?
- A quick one.
It's prohibited.
A quick photo. For posterity.
To capture the moment.
Photo!
What's going on here?
Out!
Sorry, we'll stop. We'll stop!
You ruined my night.
My instinct told me to blank you.
You won, though.
Peanuts. And what do I do now?
- My wife thinks I'm working tonight.
- She has no idea you gamble?
Butt out.
- Awkward.
- Enjoy your evening. Bye.
Wait...
I'm sorry,
I got a bit carried away.
I just wanna keep playing. I'm psyched.
Aren't you?
Come on. And you're on a roll.
Be quiet, so we don't wake my wife.
Sit there.
- What are we doing here?
- Fun, right?
The kids' games.
We'll find something here.
Connect 4, game of skill.
We want pure chance.
Battleships, too technical.
Pass the Pigs?
- What?
- No idea.
Choose fast.
Before my wife and kids wake up.
We're not playing?
Sure, we're playing,
but not a thousand games.
Just one big game.
What? How big?
We bet everything. All or nothing.
This is just wild. Count me in.
I'm starting to stress out.
What if we lose?
We won't lose.
We're a winning team!
Armande, we've won big. All right?
If I save it,
it's a huge leap toward my plane.
You suck.
Uncool. It's human to have doubts.
Don't insult me, we can talk.
It's no insult, it's fact. You suck.
We're having an amazing time
and you ruin everything.
Not so loud.
I don't want us to fight, all right?
Just understand,
if I want to keep my share, it's okay.
Your call.
Parcheesi. That's a good one.
It takes forever. We don't have time.
What do you want to play?
Heads or tails?
Fun and pure chance.
He's nuts.
We're not flipping a coin for 3,000 euros.
Please, come on, let's get outta here.
You've lost faith in us?
Give me my share, will you?
That's your answer?
You won't play?
It's not cool of you.
Too bad.
1,650...
Your money!
You idiot!
I don't fucking believe that!
There's no need to fall out, my friends.
I'm sure you'll make up.
- He's not my boyfriend.
- Really?
Too bad. you were good together.
Put the money there.
We need a coin. I'll be right back.
Daddy, what's going on?
Don't worry, it's just fine.
Here, all you do
is toss this coin,
then back to bed, okay?
Just one coin toss?
Perfect. Heads or tails?
Tails.
All right, toss it.
Who's the lady?
Just a lady who works with daddy.
Daddy, can I keep the coin?
We'll see. Toss it.
That's what I call chance!
That's fucking chance!
The spaghetti bolognese!
I was wondering, would you mind
filming a quick video
for our publicity? Okay?
Thank you so much.
Got it.
Got it?
Thank you.
Careful, spicy.
I like spicy.
Rare, a pretty girl who likes spicy.
Enjoy!
Okay?
Okay?
It's super spicy.
Can I get a glass of milk?
You want some milk?
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
Dumb, dumb, dumb!
Where've you been? Come on.
Hi there, Armande!
Meet my coworker security guards!
Hi, Armande.
Happy birthday, Carl!
It was yesterday.
My little Armande,
you're a beautiful woman.
I'd never noticed.
You were only a tenant.
Thanks, that's kind.
You're very beautiful too.
Stop it, I'm an old lady now.
Love, men, all that, it's in the past.
Don't say that.
There are still lots of hunks.
Giorgio helped with the whole buffet.
Right, Giorgio?
I didn't do much.
He's too modest and a great cook.
It's about to begin. In position!
What?
Let's not take all night.
Be quiet, Laura.
What's going on?
Here we go...
Magnificent.
Armande Pigeon...
will you marry me?
He put on a real spread.
How come?
Yes or no answer, please.
No.
I told you.
But you said, I love you.
I never said that.
Seriously, I swear,
she said, I love you.
I'm sorry, I don't love you.
I'm so sorry if you thought that.
I swear, this is weird.
It's horrible.
The worst day of my life.
Worst ever, for sure.
Don't worry, I'll talk to him.
Leave him alone. He's crying!
Quit filling your face!
Bitch!
This is insane, it can't be happening.
I'll take a walk.
No, stay here!
Auntie...
You know Armande's secret?
What secret?
It's no secret. Laura...
- Your shoes.
- Give those back!
Hurry up!
Another secret!
You all drive me nuts.
What secret?
She keeps a bird under her bed.
A bird?
How come, a bird?
It's not true. Please!
Not just any bird...
A pigeon!
Kill it!
You said, I love you!
You said it!
I never said that.
She destroys my home...
Window open!
It's over, Armande.
- Pack your stuff and go!
- You're mad!
My clothes! Stop it!
There'll be none of this.
Is this a joke?
You're no longer family!
Screw your shitty family!
Thanks, you're a lifesaver.
Sorry, it's not going to happen.
How come?
I talked to my roommates.
They gave me great advice.
And my mind's made up.
Can we go inside? I'm cold.
We're no longer friends.
Really?
I don't want you to call me anymore,
or text me.
I don't want you to...
knock on my door like this.
Basically, I don't want to see you.
I caught myself wishing you were dead.
Okay but...
- Just tonight.
- No, Armande.
If you want,
I'll bring you a flask of coffee.
A farewell gift!
Fuck!
- Want some help?
- No!
Wait, Armande!
I forgot to mention,
Jibril says you have his cocktail kit.
What?
Water closet!
What you doing now?
Party's not over. Yessir!
We have work tomorrow.
Don't miss your stop.
Yessir.
We're closed, sweetie.
Is Schlock still here?
Downstairs, with his brother,
cleaning up.
A crowd in tonight?
Say yes.
- Got my cocktail kit?
- What you doing here?
I'm on the streets.
Nowhere to sleep.
You got my cocktail kit?
- What do you want?
- My cocktail kit!
FYI, Zo dumped me,
so I'm in pain, not her.
So don't be mean to me.
I don't give a shit. Not one shit.
Know what? Zo cheated on you.
What?
Did you know?
What?
- Twice.
- Stop it.
Can we talk in private? Please.
You betrayed me.
I apologize. You're my best friend.
- Trying to manipulate me again.
- No.
I'm angry, Armande!
Bad vibe.
It's a comedy club. Crack jokes.
Why are you saying this?
Because I'm...
a bit confused and because...
I'm in love with you.
If you can make me laugh,
I'll forget the cocktail kit.
We're quits.
- Jibril...
- Shut it!
Where's my damn cocktail kit?
- You want to know?
- Yes, I do.
Really?
Yes, I want to know.
Okay, I'll tell you.
Good evening.
The other day...
I was flat broke.
Then, like a heaven-sent gift,
a friend gave me a cocktail kit
to give back to her ex.
Basically, he'd just left her.
Hold on, she left me.
- Don't interrupt.
- Just saying, she left me.
So...
You psycho!
A step closer, I'll kill you.
- You're the psycho.
- I'll kill you.
- Schlock, stop her.
- Come on!
Everybody, calm down!
Your cash and I'll go.
Are you for real?
Give me cash and I'll go.
It's nothing serious.
Just a flesh wound.
You don't decide if I'm hurt!
It hurts!
I can fix it somehow.
Armande, get lost!
Armande, it's Freddy. Not too late?
Freddy?
Look, I have good and bad news.
Bad news is, you blew it.
Can I crash at yours?
Tricky. If you'd said,
I'd have made arrangements.
Who is it?
Talent.
Good news is you're dating?
No, not even close, not at all.
I got you an audition.
A director saw your photo on the site.
He wants to see you tomorrow.
I'll text you the details.
Sorry, can you get me a glass of water?
- What?
- Water. And whatever you want.
It's about work.
You still there?
Yes.
I still have feelings for you.
Excuse me, up there for the audition?
Can't you see it's terrible timing?
Armande Pigeon for the audition.
It's open, Armande.
Hello.
I'm gone.
Sorry, I had no way to reach you.
- Sorry.
- It's a trap to abduct me?
I had no time to tidy up.
What do you want?
Won't you sit down?
Have a drink? Coke?
Ronnie, tell me.
I don't know...
You okay?
I mean, all good?
What's going on? Why get me here?
Actually...
Basically, it's simple.
I'm mad about you.
I know it sounds weird
but I don't want a life of regrets,
not saying I really like you.
I really like you.
There.
Go now if you want, this is awkward.
I have good and bad news for you.
Which first?
Good?
Shit. When I get emotional...
No worries.
I'll grab some tissues, all right?
Won't be a minute.
Two minutes!
I'll be two minutes.
Put some music on, if you want.
All good?
Yeah, yeah.
What's the bad news?
What are you doing here?
No time!
Have you got my knife?
- No, I don't.
- I can't find it since we last met.
I swear I don't have it.
- Don't lie! Open your bag.
- Let go!
Cut this out.
Give me back my money!
Money?
- Let go!
- Give it back!
Give me the money.
Back up!
Both of you, back up.
- Let go.
- I knew you had my knife.
You're a dirty thief!
Are you nuts?
Let go of that!
Stop, Armande. I love you!
Move!
It's my money!
Give me back my money!
I'm rich!
HEADS OR FAILS