Heavenly Match (2014) Movie Script

AT THIS SMALL CONGREGATION
KNOWN AS
"CHURCH OF THE SHEPHERD,"
LOVE IS ALL AROUND.
[]
MARRIAGE
IS A LIFETIME COMMITMEN I'VE ALWAYS WANTED.
I WONDER, WILL I EVER BE
ON THE RECEIVING END
OF THE WEDDING VOWS?
A DEEP CONNECTION
THROUGH ALL
THE SLINGS AND ARROWS
OF OUTRAGEOUS FORTUNE.
NO MORE LONELINESS.
NO MORE ISOLATION.
I GIVE YOU THIS RING
AS A SYMBOL OF MY LOVE.
A 30-YEAR-OLD SINGLE MINISTER
LIVES IN DATING SIBERIA.
I GIVE YOU THIS RING
AS A SYMBOL OF MY LOVE.
THE WEDDING RING
IS A SYMBOL
OF THE ENDURING PROMISES
THAT DAN AND STACY
HAVE MADE ON THIS DAY.
IN AS MUCH
AS YOU HAVE EXCHANGED YOUR VOWS
AND YOUR RINGS,
I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU
MAN AND WIFE.
WHAT GOD HAS BROUGHT TOGETHER
LET NO ONE TAKE APART.
DAN, YOU MAY KISS YOUR BRIDE.
IN THE MIDDLE
OF MY LITTLE MESS
I FORGE HOW BIG I'M BLESSED
THIS IS THE STUFF
THAT GETS UNDER MY SKIN
BUT I'VE GOTTA TRUST
YOU KNOW EXACTLY
WHAT YOU'RE DOING
MIGHT NOT BE
WHAT I WOULD CHOOSE
BUT THIS IS THE STUFF
YOU USE
THE KISS STARTS TO TAKE ON
BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS.
FINALLY, THEY COME UP FOR AIR
AND I CAN PRESENT THEM.
I'VE GOT A NEW APPRECIATION
IT'S NO THE END OF THE WORLD
[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
ANOTHER WEDDING RECEPTION SOLO,
BUT THIS IS THE LAST ONE.
SOON, I'LL BE FREE.
[]
I'VE LEARNED THE HARD WAY
THAT I DON'T BELONG
IN THE MINISTRY.
[APPLAUSE]
YOU DID A FINE JOB
FILLING IN FOR
REVEREND BLACK.
OH, THANK YOU, MRS. SANDERSON.
A NICE GIRL LIKE YOU
OUGHT TO BE MARRIED BY NOW.
AREN'T YOU SWEET?
YOU KNOW, NEXT WEEK
IS VALENTINE'S DAY.
DO YOU HAVE A DATE?
NO. NOT YET.
[APPLAUSE]
THE STRANGE REALITY
OF BEING A MINISTER
IS THAT YOUR LIFE
BECOMES THE BUSINESS
OF YOUR CONGREGATION.
THEY HAVE A STAKE IN YOU.
IF YOU MESS UP,
IT REFLECTS ON THEM,
SO YOU GO THROUGH YOUR DAYS
IN A SORT OF
BEHAVIORAL STRAITJACKE THAT KEEPS YOU
FROM TRAUMATIZING YOURSELF
OR ANYONE ELSE.
I'LL BE GLAD
TO LEAVE THAT BEHIND.
TAKE IT EASY, HART.
PEOPLE WILL THINK
YOU'RE UP TO SOMETHING.
MRS. SANDERSON,
THIS IS
REVEREND DAVID SWENSON,
ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS
FROM DIVINITY SCHOOL.
-NICE TO MEET YOU.
-AS WELL.
I HAVEN'T TOLD DAVID
ABOUT MY DECISION
TO LEAVE THE MINISTRY.
HE'S NOT GOING TO LIKE IT.
NICE JOB
ON THE NUPTIALS.
THANKS.
DO THEY LE THE ASSOCIATE MINISTER
DO MANY WEDDINGS OVER THERE
AT THE CHURCH FOR THE SHEEP?
HA-HA. VERY FUNNY.
I'M JUST A TEMPORARY FILL-IN
FOR REVEREND BLACK.
AH, YES,
REVEREND BLACK'S
GOLF INJURY.
AND HOW GOES THE RECOVERY
FOR THE GOOD REVEREND?
DOING VERY WELL, ACTUALLY.
HE'LL BE BACK NEXT WEEK.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
THE BRIDE'S FOLKS
ARE MEMBERS OF THE CONGREGATION
AT ST. HELGA'S.
AND...
IT'S A GOOD THING FOR YOU
THAT I'M HERE,
BECAUSE I MIGHT BE
THE ONLY PERSON UNDER 70
TO ASK YOU TO DANCE.
OH, NO, NO,
NO, NO, NO.
YEAH, AS I RECALL
YOUR WALTZ IS
A CRIMINAL OFFENSE
IN 10 STATES. HEY!
THAT'S ASSAULT, SWENSON.
THEN YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE
TO HAVE ME ARRESTED?
COME ON.
SO HOW WAS YOUR DATE?
IT WAS GREAT,
UNTIL I WAS FORCED TO REVEAL
WHAT I DID FOR A LIVING.
SHE KEPT LOOKING AT ME
LIKE I WAS A FREAK OF NATURE.
AND YOUR POINT IS?
DO I NEED
TO HIT YOU AGAIN?
OH, LOOK.
THAT'S OLIVIA TOMPKINS.
SHE'S ONE OF OUR LARGES FINANCIAL CONTRIBUTORS,
BUT ALSO OUR BIGGEST GOSSIP,
SO I HAVE NO DOUB THAT OUR DANCE WILL BE
THE TOPIC OF CONVERSATION
AT THE NEXT WOMEN'S AUXILIARY.
WE'RE REALLY
JUST TWO PREACHERS
TRYING TO PASS
FOR NORMAL PEOPLE.
OOH. YUM.
YOU KNOW,
YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN ABLE
TO EAT THE ENTIRE KITCHEN
AND NOT GAIN AN OUNCE.
I REALLY RESENT THAT ABOUT YOU.
WHAT ARE YOU UP TO
TOMORROW NIGHT?
I DON'T KNOW,
WATCHING TV...
ORDERING A PIZZA.
IF I'M FEELING
TRULY ADVENTUROUS,
ONE WITH
EVERYTHING ON IT.
HOW ABOUT A MOVIE?
NOT IF IT INVOLVES
WATCHING A COUPLE
OF TESTOSTERONE-CHALLENGED
MEN BLOWING UP THINGS.
OKAY, AND WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST?
OH, NO, WAIT.
LET ME GUESS.
A ROMANTIC COMEDY?
ISN'T THERE A MOVIE
LIKE "PRIDE AND PREJUDICE"
MEETS "THE MATRIX"?
NO.
OKAY, FINE,
BUT ONLY IF YOU'RE PAYING.
DEAL.
"YOU'RE SO LOVELY.
YOU SHOULD BE MARRIED BY NOW."
YOU FEEL LIKE
A DESPERATE, OLD SPINSTER.
DO YOU KNOW THA THE PARISHIONERS AT MY CHURCH
ARE NO LONGER
BETTING ON MY LOVE LIFE,
BUT ARE ACTUALLY
PRAYING FOR IT?
WELL, I WOULDN'T BE CONCERNED
UNTIL THEY START ORGANIZING
24-HOUR PRAYER VIGILS.
MY OTHER BEST FRIEND
SINCE DIVINITY SCHOOL,
THE REVEREND LARONDA MASON.
I HAVEN'T TOLD RONNIE
ABOUT MY DECISION TO LEAVE
THE MINISTRY YET EITHER.
I DON'T WANT TO SEE THE LOOK
OF DISAPPOINTMENT ON HER FACE.
DO YOU MIND
IF WE HAVE THE CHECK?
THANK YOU.
SO WHEN IS PASTOR BLACK
GOING TO BE BACK IN COMMAND
OF THE PULPIT?
NEXT WEEK, I'LL BE BACK
TO BEING AN ASSOCIATE,
WHICH IS PRETTY MUCH
LIKE BEING TANTALUS
FROM GREEK MYTHOLOGY.
WHO WAS TANTALUS?
HE'S THE GUY
WHO HUNGERS IN THE UNDERWORLD
WITH FOOD
FOREVER BEYOND HIS REACH.
THAT SOUNDS
LIKE ME NEXT WEEK
AFTER I STAR MY NEW FITNESS PROGRAM.
BUT IN THE MEANTIME,
THIS APPLE PIE LOOKS--
OH, YES. PLEASE DO.
AMAZING.
YOU KNOW, YOU MAKE
BEING A MINISTER
LOOK LIKE A CAKEWALK.
YOU GOT YOUR CONGREGATION
TO BUILD A 1,500-SEAT SANCTUARY
AND PARTNER WITH
A SISTER CHURCH IN AFRICA.
IT'S AMAZING.
YES, I'M A PREACHER'S KID,
BUT IT'S STILL FEELS LIKE
I'M HAULING MYSELF
UP MOUNT EVERES WITH MY LEGS TIED EVERY DAY.
THE LAST TIME
I TRUSTED A CHURCH,
I GOT FIRED AND HUMILIATED.
MAYBE I'M NOT SUITED FOR THIS.
YOU CAN'T PLAY IT SAFE
WITH THE MINISTRY, CASE.
IF YOU HAVE SECURITY,
THEN YOU'RE NO DOING YOUR JOB.
AND I KNOW YOU'RE LOOKING
FOR GUARANTEES IN THIS,
BUT THERE AREN'T ANY.
HOW CAN ANYONE LIVE
WITHOUT AT LEAS A FEW GUARANTEES OF SOME KIND?
IT'S CALLED "FAITH."
THANK YOU.
WHICH JUST REAFFIRMS
MY DECISION
TO LEAVE THE MINISTRY
AND TO GO TO LAW SCHOOL.
I'VE BEEN ACCEPTED AT BRAXTON
FOR THE FALL SEMESTER.
GOOD MORNING.
GOOD MORNING.
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
WHAT THIS EMERGENCY
MEETING IS ABOUT?
I HAVE NO IDEA.
SO, YOU AND REVEREND SWENSON?
I SAW YOU DANCING
LAST NIGHT.
ARE YOU AN ITEM?
NO. DAVID AND I
ARE JUST FRIENDS.
THAT'S WHAT CELEBRITIES
SAY IN THE TABLOIDS,
THEN THEY TURN AROUND,
AND, NINE MONTHS LATER,
THEY HAVE A LOVE CHILD.
I CAN ASSURE YOU
THAT REVEREND SWENSON AND I
ARE IN NO IMMEDIATE DANGER
OF THAT HAPPENING.
WELL...
HE IS A VERY HANDSOME
YOUNG MAN.
GOOD MORNING.
AM I LATE?
WE JUST STARTED.
HAVE A SEAT.
OKAY...
PASTOR BLACK HAS JUST ANNOUNCED
HIS RETIREMENT.
HE DID?
EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY.
MISS HART,
CONGRATULATIONS.
YOU HAVE BEEN APPOINTED
INTERIM SENIOR MINISTER.
OF COURSE, YOU'LL
HAVE TO KEEP
YOUR OTHER CHRISTIAN
EDUCATION PROGRAMS
STILL RUNNING,
BUT WE HAVE FAITH
IN YOU, CASEY.
WE KNOW YOU CAN DO IT.
OH, ED.
-THAT IS REALLY FLATTERING--
-YEAH, I KNOW.
I MEAN, MOST CHURCHES
WOULDN'T TRUST A WOMAN
WITH THIS KIND OF THING,
BUT WE'RE PROGRESSIVE
HERE A THE CHURCH OF THE SHEPHERD.
AS TREASURER,
I FEEL IT IS A MISTAKE
TO ASK ASSOCIATE PASTOR HAR TO TAKE ON THE POSITION
OF SENIOR PASTOR.
OH, YOU DO?
AND WHY DO YOU THINK
IT'S A MISTAKE, MRS. TOMPKINS?
NOW, NOW, DEAR,
I'M JUST-- I'M JUST LOOKING OU FOR YOUR BEST INTERESTS.
YOU'RE FAR TOO YOUNG
AND INEXPERIENCED...
WE DON'T HAVE
THE RESERVES
FOR THREE MINISTERS.
THAT'S WHY CASEY HERE
IS THE PERFECT SOLUTION.
IT WOULD TAKE
ABOUT A YEAR, IS THAT RIGHT,
TO FIND A NEW PASTOR?
MAYBE 18 MONTHS?
WELL, THAT'S REALLY
UP TO US, CASEY.
WE JUST NEED YOU TO HOLD
THE FORT TO THE END OF THE YEAR.
WE DON'T NEED
A REAL SENIOR MINISTER
FOR THIS INTERIM.
AND I'M SURE
YOU CAN FILL BOTH CHAIRS
UNTIL WE FIND ONE.
I DON'T THINK THAT--
[AHEM]
I'M SURE
CASEY WOULD BE DELIGHTED
TO DO AS WE ASK.
SHE KNOWS WE CAN'T GET ALONG
WITHOUT HER.
WELL, THAT'S
SETTLED, THEN.
CASEY, I'M GOING
TO HAVE TO ASK YOU
TO EXCUSE YOURSELF
SO WE CAN STAR TALKING ABOU THE SEARCH PROCESS.
OH.
BUT THANK YOU FOR COMING.
OKAY.
RIGHT.
WELL, IF THERE'S ANYTHING
I CAN DO
TO HELP WITH THE SEARCH,
YOU'LL LET ME KNOW.
OH, CASEY,
WOULD YOU BE A DEAR
AND BREW US
A FRESH POT OF COFFEE?
OH, AND SOME OF
THOSE LITTLE COOKIES
LEFT OVER FROM
THE FELLOWSHIP MEETING.
DECAF OR REGULAR?
HELLO, MY NAME IS CASEY.
I'LL BE YOUR SERVER TODAY.
[CASEY]: I CAN'T BELIEVE
I LET YOU TALK ME INTO THIS.
ARE YOU SURE THE MOVIE'S
ACTUALLY SOLD OU OR IS THIS JUST A PLOY
SO YOU CAN SHOW OFF
YOUR CHOIR-BOY PAST?
OH, COME, ON,
ADMIT IT,
MY VOCAL STYLINGS
ARE WAY MORE ENTERTAINING
THAN A COUPLE
OF MUSCLE HEADS
BLOWING EACH OTHER UP.
WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT.
[SINGING OFF-KEY]:
OH, SUSANNA
DON'T YOU CRY FOR ME
WHEN I COME TO ALABAMA
WITH A BANJO ON MY KNEE
[ANNOUNCER]:
LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE LADIES
AND WELCOME OUR NEXT PERFORMERS
TO THE STAGE.
I TOLD YOU
TO GET YOUR OWN.
OH. COME ON, SHARE.
NO.
OH, THAT'S US.
YOU DIDN'T.
OF COURSE, I DID.
COME ON.
I CAN' BELIEVE YOU.
WHAT SONG
DO YOU CHOOSE?
I REQUESTED
ANYTHING BY BON JOVI.
[JAZZ NUMBER PLAYS]
OKAY.
'CAUSE I--
[SCATTING]
I.... AIN'T GOT NOBODY
NOBODY
CARES FOR ME
NOBODY
CARES FOR ME
I'M.... SO SAD
AND LONELY
WHOA! OH, LONELY
OH, LONELY
SO LONELY...
NOBODY...
CARES FOR ME
NOBODY CARES FOR ME...
[CASEY]: DEAR LORD,
HOW COULD I HAVE KNOWN DAVID
FOR EIGHT YEARS
AND NOT NOTICED HOW ADORABLE
AND HOT HE IS?
IT'S DAVID.
MAYBE IT IS DAVID.
[SCATTING]
WHAT'S UP?
YOU'VE BEEN ACTING STRANGE
FOR A WHILE.
YOU STILL OWME
A MOVIE.
DONE. I'M KIND OF
IN A MOOD FOR ICE CREAM.
OH, I CAN'T,
I'M PREACHING
TOMORROW, REMEMBER?
OKAY, BUT NEXT SATURDAY
AFTER THE MOVIE,
WE'RE GOING TO GE ICE CREAM.
NEXT SATURDAY'S
VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'M BUSY.
WHAT, YOU GO A HOT DATE?
YEP.
ALL RIGHT, CASEY!
WAY TO GO!
SO, WHO'S THE LUCKY GUY?
NO ONE.
WOW. IT MUST BE PRETTY SERIOUS
IF YOU WON'T SPILL THE DETAILS.
I DON'T WANT TO JINX IT.
HEY, CASE, IT'S NOT ONE OF
YOUR PARISHIONERS, RIGHT?
NO! I'M NO POACHING SHEEP
FROM MY OWN FLOCK.
[CASEY]:
I'VE BROKEN A CARDINAL RULE--
THE ONE ABOUT MIXING FRIENDSHIP
WITH ROMANTIC FEELINGS.
I CAN NEVER LET HIM
KNOW HOW I FEEL
AND RISK LOSING HIS FRIENDSHIP,
BUT, MOSTLY,
I'M AFRAID OF WHAT I FEL IN THERE TONIGHT.
[CASEY]: SLOW DOWN.
I CAN'T BREATHE.
I'VE BEEN
WAITING ON THIS
SINCE THE FIRST WEEK
OF DIV. SCHOOL.
I KNOW, RONNIE,
BUT IT'S DAVID!
YOU MEAN SMART, TALL,
FUNNY, KIND DAVID?
THE KIND OF MAN THA WE'D GIVE OUR EYETEETH FOR?
I MEAN, LOOK,
IF THAT ZING OF ATTRACTION
YOU FELT FOR HIM WAS REAL,
THEN YOU NEED TO TELL HIM.
I WILL. I WILL!
AFTER I GO OU ON THIS DATE
ON SATURDAY NIGHT.
OKAY, LET ME
GET THIS STRAIGHT.
YOU'RE TURNING
DOWN A DATE
WITH A MAN
YOU'RE ATTRACTED TO
TO GO OUT ON A DATE WITH
A MAN WHO DOESN'T EXIST?
YES! EXACTLY.
EXCEPT FOR DAVID DIDN' ASK ME ON A DATE.
HE TOOK ME FOR GRANTED,
ASSUMING THA I WOULDN'T BE BUSY
ON VALENTINE'S DAY.
GIRL, THAT'S YOUR FAULT.
NOT ONLY DID YOU
GIVE HIM THE LICENSE
TO TAKE YOU FOR GRANTED,
YOU PRINTED IT, SIGNED I AND LAMINATED IT.
YEAH. YOU'RE RIGHT.
BUT I CAN'T LET HIM
KNOW THAT I LIED.
I CAN'T SEEM
THAT PATHETIC.
WILL YOU HELP ME?
I HAVE TO FIND A DATE
FOR SATURDAY NIGHT.
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?
WHAT ABOUT JAMES?
NO.
OKAY, DO YOU WANT ME
TO ASK MY COUSIN
TO TAKE YOU OU FOR VALENTINE'S DAY?
YES.
I KNOW YOU DON'T HAVE
NOTHING FOR HIM,
AND IF IT AIN'T TRUE LOVE,
IT AIN'T WORTH IT.
RONNIE, PLEASE.
I HAVE TO SAVE FACE.
YOUR FACE NEEDS TO FIND
SOMEONE ELSE TO SAVE I BESIDES MY COUSIN.
[CASEY]: YOU KNOW WHAT,
I'M SORRY,
I SHOULDN'T HAVE ASKED THAT.
I'LL HAVE TO FIND SOMEONE ELSE.
MAYBE SOME OF THE BARISTAS
WILL KNOW SOMEONE I COULD DATE.
FINE. I'LL ASK MY COUSIN.
HE JUST BROKE UP
WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND
AND I KNOW
HE HAS NOTHING TO DO.
PLUS, HE OWES ME.
OH, RONNIE! THANK YOU!
YOU'RE THE BEST.
YEAH, YEAH.
I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW.
[FRIENDLY KNOCKING ON DOOR]
-HEY.
-HELLO?
WHOA, HART.
CHECK YOU OUT.
UH, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE, DAVID?
OH, MY INTERNET'S DOWN.
OH, SO MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME.
OH, RIGHT,
YOU'VE GO THAT BIG DATE TONIGHT.
I TOTALLY FORGOT.
IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY.
YEAH, AND HE'S GONNA BE HERE
ANY MINUTE.
SO ARE YOU RUNNING BEHIND?
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING,
I DON'T LOOK READY?
SO YOU'RE NOT READY?
I DON'T KNOW.
YOU LOOK FINE TO ME.
DO I LOOK FINE,
OR DO I LOOK NOT READY?
WHICH ONE IS IT?
UH, YOU LOOK...
TO BE PERFECTLY HONEST,
KIND OF WEIRD.
I LOOK WEIRD?
YEAH. YOU'RE ALL...
SEXY AND STUFF.
OH.
WOULD IT AMAZE YOU, DAVID,
TO DISCOVER THAT SOME MEN
ACTUALLY FIND ME
ALL "SEXY AND STUFF"?
DON'T ANSWER THAT.
IT WILL BE EASIER.
HI.
OH, WOW. YOU LOOK GORGEOUS.
[CASEY]: OH, THANK YOU.
YOU LOOK
PRETTY HANDSOME YOURSELF.
-HEY, CASE?
-YEAH?
JUST DON'T FORGE THAT WE'VE GO THAT MINI-BOWLING DATE
ON WEDNESDAY.
UM, WHAT'S MINI-BOWLING?
IT'S A TRADITION AROUND HERE.
IT'S GREAT. YOU'LL LOVE IT.
OKAY. DON'T FORGE TO LOCK UP WHEN YOU LEAVE.
-YOU KIDS HAVE FUN.
-WE WILL.
[CASEY]: THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR DOING THIS.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]
[CASEY]: THAT'S TRUE.
-YOU GOOD?
-YEAH.
HEAR THESE WORDS
FROM THE GOSPEL OF MARK...
[KNOCKING]
COME IN.
JED IS HERE TO SEE YOU.
OH, THANKS, ANGELIQUE.
THE DANG FOOL THING
IS LEAKING SOMETHING FIERCE.
MY FIRST SERIOUS CRISIS
AS SENIOR INTERIM MINISTER.
WHY DON'T YOU
PATCH IT UP, JED?
WELL, THERE'S
NOTHIN' LEFT TO PATCH.
OH.
AND A NEW ONE'S
GONNA RUN IN THE THOUSANDS.
OH.
I GUESS I'LL...
WELL, I'LL CALL GUS AND GE THE PROPERTY DIVISION ON IT.
IF YOU THINK THAT'S BEST.
ON SECOND THOUGHT,
WHY DON'T I GO
TAKE A LOOK AT IT FOR MYSELF,
JUST TO MAKE SURE
YOU DIDN'T SABOTAGE I JUST TO TEST ME.
OH. OKAY.
THE LEAK ORIGINATED
ABOVE THE CEILING.
YOU CAN GO SEE
FOR YOURSELF.
I'LL TAKE YOUR WORD FOR IT.
NO, NO, NO, NO.
I DON'T WANT YOU
TO DOUBT ME.
AH...
YEP.
OH, YEAH.
I SEE WHAT YOU'RE SAYING, JED.
I'M COMING DOWN.
I GOTTA SAY,
IT'S HOPELESS.
OH, IT'S NO HOPELESS, REVEREND.
IT'S JUST IN NEED OF SOME
MALE KNOW-HOW, THAT'S ALL.
MISS HART.
THERE YOU ARE.
ED, OLIVIA.
ARE THOSE... COBWEBS
ALL OVER?
LOOK, I'VE GOT SOME QUESTIONS
ABOUT THIS SUNDAY'S SERVICE.
I'LL GET RIGHT BACK
TO BOTH OF YOU.
PERHAPS YOU SHOULD
FOCUS MORE ON YOUR JOB
AND TRUST JED TO DO HIS.
OH, CASEY,
I'M SURE
YOU CAN MANAGE
TO SEE THAT...
THINGS ARE...
KEPT CLEAN AROUND HERE.
AFTER ALL, HOUSEKEEPING IS
A WOMAN'S PROVENANCE, ISN'T IT?
OH, SPEAKING OF, OLIVIA,
HAVE YOU SIGNED UP FOR
THE COMMUNITY SOUP KITCHEN YET?
-SOUP?
-YES.
I'LL SIGN YOU UP.
EXCUSE ME.
UM...
[CHURCH BELL TOLLING]
HEAR THESE WORDS
FROM THE GOSPEL OF MARK.
IN TODAY'S PASSAGE,
THERE WERE MANY LOST THINGS.
SHEEP. COINS.
YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS A CHILD
AND I WOULD LOSE SOMETHING,
MY MOTHER WOULD OFTEN TELL ME
IT WOULD BE IN THE LAST PLACE
THAT I LOOKED.
GOD NEVER GIVES UP FINDING US,
NO MATTER
HOW FAR WE'VE WANDERED OFF,
NO MATTER WHAT CRACKS
WE'VE FALLEN INTO.
HE NEVER GIVES UP.
BUT ARE WE WILLING TO BE FOUND?
BECAUSE WHEN WE TRULY SURRENDER
TO THE CARE OF OUR SHEPHERD,
WE ARE RELINQUISHING OUR LIVES
TO A HIGHER AUTHORITY.
THANKS BE TO GOD.
AMEN.
[CONGREGATION]: AMEN.
[]
MY GOALS FOR TODAY--
ONE, CONVINCE DAVID
IT'S A GOOD IDEA
I TOOK THE INTERIM
SENIOR MINISTER JOB.
TWO, CONVINCE MYSELF
IT'S A GOOD IDEA
THAT I TOOK THE INTERIM
SENIOR MINISTER JOB.
THREE, DON'T LET ON TO DAVID
THAT I HAVE THE URGE
TO NIBBLE ON HIS NECK.
FOUR, DON'T ACTUALLY
NIBBLE ON HIS NECK.
HEY, CASE.
GO GET YOUR SHOES.
COME ON.
OKAY.
SO HOW WAS
YOUR DATE?
OKAY.
OKAY...
YOU NEED
TO GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD
AND JUST LET YOUR NATURAL RHYTHM
TAKE OVER.
LET ME GUIDE YOU.
SO WE'RE GOING TO TAKE
THREE STEPS...
AND THEN RELEASE. OKAY?
HERE WE GO.
ONE, TWO, THREE...
IT'S AN IMPROVEMENT, I GUESS.
SO, HOW'S CHURCH?
IT'S OKAY, I GUESS.
I FEEL LIKE I MISSED
A FEW CLASSES
AT DIVINITY SCHOOL,
LIKE PLUMBING 101,
INTRODUCTION TO CULINARY SCHOOL,
HOUSE CLEANING.
AND HERE I THOUGH ALL I NEEDED
WAS A SIMPLE UNDERSTANDING
OF THE BIBLE
AND SYSTEMATIC THEOLOGY.
YOU DESERVE YOUR SHO AT A HEALTHY PASTORATE.
YOU KNOW THIS ISN'T IT.
I JUST--
I JUST WANT TO BE TOP DOG
FOR A LITTLE BIT,
LIKE WHAT YOU GET TO EXPERIENCE
EVERY DAY.
LOOK, IF YOU'RE HELLBEN ON DOING THIS,
THEN THERE'S A FEW
SENIOR PASTOR SECRETS
THAT I NEED TO TELL YOU ABOUT.
WHAT? THERE ARE SECRETS?
YOU NEVER TOLD ME
THERE WERE SECRETS!
YOU DIDN'T NEED THEM BEFORE.
YOU WERE NEVER A SENIOR PASTOR
AT A SIGNIFICANT CONGREGATION.
AS OPPOSED TO
AN INSIGNIFICANT CONGREGATION?
I SEE.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU NEVER
TOLD ME THERE WERE SECRETS.
THIS INFORMATION IS ON
A NEED-TO-KNOW BASIS ONLY.
OKAY.
SECRET NUMBER ONE--
AT LEAST ONCE
DURING EVERY SERMON,
YOU WANT TO LIF THE BIBLE UP IN THE AIR
AND YOU WANT TO WAVE IT AROUND.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE SERIOUS.
I AM SERIOUS.
OKAY, WELL,
I JUST DON'T KNOW
HOW THAT'S GOING
TO HELP.
CONGREGATIONS WANT SOMEONE
THAT'S GOING TO BE ABLE
TO PREACH THE MATERIAL.
NICE. OKAY, SECRET NUMBER TWO--
VISIT ANYONE
THAT GOES IN THE HOSPITAL
WITHIN 24 HOURS.
OH, WOW.
WHO WOULDN'T DO THAT?
YOU'D BE SURPRISED.
I COULD TELL YOU SOME
HORROR STORIES AT ST. HELGA'S
THAT WOULD CURL YOUR HAIR.
PLEASE DON'T.
I'M ALREADY USING
SIX DIFFERENT TYPES OF GELS
TO KEEP IT STRAIGHT AS IT IS.
IT DOES LOOK
KIND OF STRAW-LIKE,
I'LL GIVE YOU THAT.
ALL RIGHT,
WHAT'S SECRET NUMBER THREE?
NEVER DRIVE A BETTER CAR
THAN YOUR PARISHIONERS.
DONE!
GOT THAT ONE!
HOW IS ANY OF THIS
GOING TO HELP ME
BECOME A BETTER
SENIOR MINISTER?
HEY, HEY!
DON'T UNDERESTIMATE MY ADVICE.
IT'S GOLDEN.
THERE IS ONE MORE THING.
DON'T DATE A PARISHIONER.
THAT'S, LIKE, THE SECOND TIME
YOU'VE WARNED ME OFF
WITH SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
AND HOW IS ANY OF THA GOING TO HELP ME
GET MRS. TOMPKINS OFF MY BACK
AND CONVINCE THE BOARD
THAT I CAN LEAD
THE CONGREGATION?
WOW!
WHEN YOU'RE THE TOP DOG,
PEOPLE ARE GOING TO PROJEC ALL SORTS OF STUFF ON YOU,
BUT YOU NEED TO KNOW
THAT IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU.
YOU CAN'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY.
OKAY, I'M PRETTY SURE
I COULD HAVE FIGURED
THAT ONE OUT ON MY OWN.
THANK YOU.
CASE, YOU KIND OF HAVE A HABI OF NOT REALLY
FIGURING THINGS OU UNTIL A LITTLE BI AFTER THE FACT.
[CHURCH BELL TOLLING]
[OLIVIA]: I BROUGH A LITTLE TREAT FOR OUR MEETING.
[MAN]: OH, OLIVIA, THANK YOU.
YOUR WONDERFUL COOKIES.
MM! MY FAVORITE.
DELICIOUS AS ALWAYS, OLIVIA.
WE HAVE TO HAVE
SOME COFFEE
WITH THE BLONDIES.
OH, CASEY,
PERFECT TIMING.
WOULD YOU PLEASE
GET THE COFFEE?
WE HAVE
A CONFIRMED REPOR FROM THE MONEY COUNTERS
THAT THE CASH OFFERINGS
ARE DOWN SIGNIFICANTLY
IN THE LAST TWO WEEKS.
WELL, PEOPLE
ARE CLEARLY EXPRESSING
THEIR DISPLEASURE
WITH CASEY IN THE PULPIT.
WELL, THE QUESTION
WE HAVE TO CONSIDER IS
ARE WE CONCERNED ABOUT THEF OR WHETHER IT'S
A REGULAR FLUCTUATION?
WELL, I CAN'T IMAGINE
ANYONE WOULD WITHHOLD
THEIR OFFERING BECAUSE OF CASEY.
[CASEY]: UM, THERE HAVE BEEN
A LOT OF PEOPLE OUT OF TOWN
AND A LITTLE BIT OF RESTLESSNESS
BECAUSE OF REVEREND BLACK'S
DEPARTURE.
[OLIVIA]:
WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING NOW
BEFORE CASEY CRIPPLES
THIS CHURCH FINANCIALLY.
I HATE TO DISAGREE
WITH YOU, OLIVIA.
I'M NOT PREPARED TO
JUMP TO THA CONCLUSION JUST YET.
I THINK WE HAVE TO ADOP A WAIT-AND-SEE ATTITUDE.
[CASEY]: I'M WILLING TO BE THAT IT'S A TIMING THING.
IF WE JUST GIVE IT SOME TIME.
I AGREE.
SHALL WE VOTE?
EXCELLENT.
CARRIED.
CASEY?
JUST BE CAREFUL, OKAY?
DON'T DO ANY DAMAGE
UNTIL WE CAN GE A REAL MINISTER IN, OKAY?
OKAY.
OKAY, GOOD.
OH, COFFEE.
OKAY...
LET'S GET THIS MEETING STARTED.
YOU'VE FLOURISHED
AS A SOLO PASTOR
WHILE I'VE COLLAPSED
UNDER THE WEIGH OF CONFLICT AND CRITICISM.
I CAN'T HANDLE
ANOTHER CONFLICT RIGHT NOW.
AND I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU TALKED ME INTO DOING
YOUR CRAZY WORKOUT PROGRAM.
THAT WAS NUTS.
IT'S GOOD FOR YOU.
LOOK, YOU'RE ONLY AFRAID
OF CONFLIC BECAUSE OF YOUR LAST CHURCH,
AND YOU SHOULDN'T BE.
WELL, YEAH.
THAT CONGREGATION
HAD IT OUT FOR ME.
I MEAN, THEY NOT ONLY HATED ME,
THEY SERIOUSLY DISLIKED ME.
THERE WERE SCATHING REVIEWS,
UNSIGNED LETTERS
AND SECRET MEETINGS.
[RONNIE]: YOU'RE STILL
LICKING YOUR WOUNDS.
LOOK, CONFLICT ISN'T ALWAYS BAD.
I MEAN,
SOMETIMES, IT'S A GOOD THING.
SOMETIMES, IT HELPS YOU GROW.
I DON'T WANT TO GROW!
I JUST WANT TO
GET PAST THIS.
HAVE YOU CALLED DAVID?
AND WHAT WOULD I SAY?
"HEY, DAVID,
"I'VE RECENTLY DEVELOPED
A CRUSH ON YOU.
DO YOU WANT TO HAVE DINNER?"
SOUNDS GOOD TO ME.
I NEED DIVINE INTERVENTION.
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO
IS TO GE YOUR BOOTY IN GEAR
AND CALL HIM.
YOU KNOW?
COME ON, DO IT NOW,
WHILE YOU'VE GOT HIM
ALL THROWN OFF.
REALLY?
YES!
WHAT ARE YOU
WAITING FOR?
-OKAY.
-JUST DO IT!
OKAY.
GREAT.
AND CALL ME RIGHT AFTERWARDS.
I NEED THE JUICE.
ALL RIGHT.
YOU'RE GOING TO BE
SORE TOMORROW.
OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
GRANT ME FAITH, O LORD.
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
HELLO?
[CASEY]: HI, DAVID.
HEY, HART. WHAT'S UP?
NOTHING.
JUST RECOVERING
FROM POWER YOGA.
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
I AM REFEREEING THE DESIGN
OF THE NEW WORSHIP CENTER.
APPARENTLY,
SANCTUARIES ARE PASSE.
WHO KNEW?
OH. WELL.
HEY, LISTEN,
DO YOU WANT TO HEAD OVER
TO LAKE TURNBELL
FOR A WALK THIS EVENING?
I FIGURED
YOU'D BE DOING SOMETHING
WITH THAT GUY
FROM THE OTHER NIGHT.
YOU TWO LOOKED PRETTY TIGHT.
OH, WE DID?
YEAH.
I FIGURED THAT YOU'D BE BUSY
SO I MADE OTHER PLANS.
OH! OH...
WELL, THAT'S NO BIGGIE.
YEAH, WE COULD WALK
LAKE TURNBELL ANOTHER TIME.
YEAH, OKAY.
WELL, LOOK, CASE,
I SHOULD GET GOING.
I HAVE TO PICK UP MY DATE
IN ABOUT 20 MINUTES.
GREAT. OKAY.
HAVE A GOOD TIME,
AND HEY, LISTEN,
DON'T WEAR ANY BAND T-SHIRTS.
WEAR, LIKE, A NORMAL SHIR WITH A COLLAR.
WELL, I DON'T GO ANYWHERE
WITHOUT A COLLAR,
ONE WAY OR ANOTHER.
BYE.
WELL, THAT WAS AN EPIC FAILURE.
[CASEY]: I ALWAYS LOOK FORWARD
TO MY WEEKLY VISITS
WITH MY DEAR FRIEND, SARAH.
SHE'S A MINISTER, TOO,
AND I CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON HER
FOR SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE.
[]
GOOD MORNING, SUNSHINE.
IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU
UP AND AT 'EM AGAIN.
WHO'S WINNING?
OH! I'M SURE YOU ARE.
HELLO, SIR.
HOW'S YOUR ARTHRITIS?
MUCH BETTER, HUH?
GOOD TO HEAR.
MISS VIOLET. HI!
HOW'S YOUR HIP HEALING?
OH, I'M ON THE MEND,
PASTOR HART.
OH, THAT'S FANTASTIC.
ALL RIGHT,
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
YOU TAKING CARE
OF OUR HANDSOME MAN?
-MM-HMM.
-YEAH? GOOD.
SARAH, IT'S ME.
OH, MY DARLING CASEY,
WHAT A TREAT.
HI, SARAH.
WHAT'S TROUBLING
YOU, MY DEAR?
PULL UP A CHAIR.
TELL ME
WHAT'S GOING ON.
I'M LEAVING THE MINISTRY.
I'M GOING TO
GO TO LAW SCHOOL.
MY DAD'LL BE HAPPY.
HE WON'T HAVE TO
SEND ME MONEY ANYMORE
TO HELP PAY FOR MY REN EVERY MONTH,
AND I WON'T HAVE
THOSE PESKY PARISHIONERS
MAKING MY LIFE
A LIVING NIGHTMARE.
HAS GOD CALLED YOU THERE?
OR ARE YOU
LIKE JONAH,
RUNNING AWAY
BECAUSE THINGS AREN'T GOING
ACCORDING TO YOUR PLANS?
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT GOD WANTS ANYMORE.
I THOUGHT I HEARD
THE BIG GUY SAY "MINISTRY,"
BUT NOW I'M THINKING
IT MIGHT'VE BEEN "MISERY."
IT DOESN'T MATTER ANYWAYS.
I'M NOT CUT OUT FOR THE CHURCH.
THE OPPOSITE OF FAITH
ISN'T DOUBT,
IT'S FEAR.
THAT IS FEAR TALKING.
FEAR'S BEEN DOING
A LOT OF TALKING LATELY.
[CHUCKLES] OH.
GOD WORKS
IN THE DIVINE'S OWN SWEET TIME.
HOW LONG WOULD YOU BE WILLING
TO WAIT FOR GOD TO LEAD YOU
TO THAT RIGHT PLACE?
WHAT'S YOUR LIMIT?
I THINK
I'VE REACHED MY LIMIT.
I MEAN, IT TOOK JACOB 14 YEARS
TO FIND A WIFE,
AND THE ISRAELITES,
THEY ROAMED THE WILDERNESS
FOR 40 YEARS.
I MEAN,
DOESN'T GOD KNOW THAT THE WORLD
WORKS AT A MUCH FASTER PACE
THESE DAYS?
IF YOU'VE COME
FOR MY BLESSING,
I CAN'T GIVE YOU ONE.
YOU MADE
A COMMITMENT TO GOD.
YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE
THAT CAN UNMAKE THAT PROMISE.
CHURCH HAS ALWAYS
BEEN MY REFUGE, YOU KNOW?
I FOUND...
AFFIRMATION AND...
OPPORTUNITY...
AND COMFORT.
IT ALWAYS SEEMED
LIKE THE RIGHT THING.
YOU KNOW, I'VE ALWAYS DONE WHA I THOUGHT WAS THE RIGHT THING,
BUT LOOK AT WHERE
IT'S GOTTEN ME.
I THOUGHT YOU'D UNDERSTAND.
I DON'T WANT...
YOU DON'T WANT WHAT?
IT'S JUST HARD,
BEING SO CLOSE TO WHAT YOU WAN AND KNOWING
YOU'LL NEVER HAVE IT.
HAVE FAITH IN GOD.
TRUST YOURSELF.
AND GOD.
AND DRINK SOME TEA.
[ANNOUNCEMENT CRACKLING
AS PHONE BEEPS]
[DAVID]: HE'LL HELP YOU
THROUGH THIS TOUGH TIME,
AND I THOUGHT YOU NEEDED
SOMEONE IN YOUR PARISH
ON YOUR SIDE,
AND NOW YOU'LL HAVE A FRIEND,
AND YOU WON'T BE LONELY.
YEAH, I MEAN,
HOW CAN I BE LONELY
WITH LITTLE SIMON PETER AROUND
TO KEEP ME COMPANY?
HOT DATE TONIGHT?
NOT UNLESS
YOU COUNT SIMON PETER.
HOW ABOUT YOU?
I AM GOING TO THE MOVIES,
BUT ABSOLUTELY
NO ICE CREAM AFTERWARD.
THAT'S YOUR TERRITORY.
I'LL HOLD YOU TO THAT.
YOU'D BETTER.
OKAY.
I'M GOING TO GO
PAY FOR THIS STUFF.
OKAY. THANK YOU.
[]
HI, ANGELIQUE.
OH! UH, ED CALLED.
HE HAS SOME
SUGGESTIONS FOR YOU.
OKAY.
DAVID CALLED FOR YOU
FROM A PET STORE.
DID THAT.
MRS. TOMPKINS WANTS YOU
TO MAKE A GROCERY RUN
FOR SALAD DRESSINGS
BEFORE THE NEX LADIES'
AUXILIARY MEETING.
I DIDN'T REALIZE
I WAS HER PERSONAL SHOPPER
AS WELL AS HER MINISTER. NEXT?
HE BOUGHT YOU A FISH?
OH. YEAH.
ISN'T THAT, LIKE,
THE SWEETEST THING?
THAT'S A BETTA FISH.
SO?
YOU CAN'T PUT A BETTA FISH
IN THE TANK WITH OTHER FISH
BECAUSE IT'LL ATTACK
AND KILL THEM.
HE GOT ME AN AGGRESSIVE,
ANTISOCIAL FISH?
OH, THEY BITE, TOO.
YEAH.
YEAH.
RIGHT. LET'S GET STARTED.
FIRST...
OH, THE COLLECTION MONEY
IS STILL WORRISOMELY LOW.
I HEARD A RUMOR
THAT SOMEONE'S
BEEN SKIMMING CASH
OUT OF THE PLATES.
I FEEL SECURE, OLIVIA,
THAT THE CASH BOX
IN THE SACRISTY IS SECURE.
WE'VE BEEN USING THAT SYSTEM
FOR YEARS,
AND WE'VE NEVER HAD ANY PROBLEM.
ONLY THE CHURCH
TREASURER
AND THE MONEYCOUNTERS
HAVE A KEY, SO...
THAT'S YOU
AND THEM, OLIVIA.
WELL, THEN THERE'S ONLY
ONE OTHER EXPLANATION.
THE OFFERING IS DOWN
BECAUSE PEOPLE DON'T WAN A WOMAN IN THE PULPIT.
YOU SHOULD RESIGN NOW
BEFORE YOU DESTROY THIS CHURCH.
[ED]:
IS IT TOO MUCH FOR YOU, CASEY?
WE WERE...
WE WERE THINKING
IT MIGHT BE.
[]
IF THE OFFERINGS ARE DOWN,
I'M SURE IT HAS MORE TO DO WITH
THE CHANGE IN THE GIVING CYCLE
THAN WITH A REVOL FROM THE PARISHIONERS.
[OLIVIA]: WE ARE
IN DIFFICULT ENOUGH
FINANCIAL STRAITS.
WE CAN'T JEOPARDIZE
THE FINANCIAL HEALTH
OF THE CHURCH.
OOH, HOW DID IT GO?
YOU DON' WANT TO KNOW.
THAT GOOD, HUH?
-YEAH.
-OKAY.
[SIGHS WEARILY]
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
REVEREND HART.
HEY, IT'S ME.
WHY DON'T YOU COME OVER FOR
DINNER AND I'LL COOK SOMETHING?
UM, YEAH, YOU'RE FABULOUS,
BUT YOUR IDEA
OF A HOMECOOKED MEAL
IS HAMBURGER HELPER
AND A CAN OF GREEN BEANS.
NOT GONNA HAPPEN.
HOW ABOUT I COOK?
EXCELLENT. IT'S BEEN A WHILE
SINCE I'VE HAD STEAK A LA CASEY.
PFFT. OKAY, MOOCH.
SEE YOU AT 7:00?
I'LL BRING DESSERT.
BRING CHOCOLATE?
YES, MA'AM.
AND I'VE GO A SURPRISE FOR YOU, TOO.
OH, NO, NO, NO. I CAN'T HANDLE
ANOTHER SURPRISE THIS WEEK.
YOU'LL LIKE THIS ONE.
YOU'LL SEE.
OKAY.
HEY, CASE.
SURPRISE!
"SURPRISE"?
YEAH! REMEMBER?
I TOLD YOU ON THE PHONE
THAT I HAD A SURPRISE?
OH! DID YOU SAY THAT?
I'M CASEY.
[SQUEALS]: OH!
CASEY! OMIGOD!
IT'S SO GREA TO FINALLY MEET YOU!
DAVID HAS TOLD ME
SO MUCH ABOUT YOU!
HAS HE?
OH, THAT'S FUNNY.
SOMETIMES, HE FORGETS TO MENTION
THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS.
I KNOW, RIGHT?
DON'T WORRY.
I'M GONNA FIX THAT.
CASEY, THIS IS CALI.
IT'S SHOR FOR "CALIFORNIA."
THAT'S WHERE I'M FROM.
CLEVER.
[GIGGLES]
DO I SMELL
SOMETHING BURNING?
THE STEAKS!
OH!
OH... WOW.
CAN I GIVE YOU
A HAND WITH THAT?
NO. NO, IT'S JUS A MINOR MEAT EMERGENCY.
ARE YOU SURE?
-BECAUSE IT--
-I'VE GOT IT UNDER CONTROL.
THANK YOU.
JUST NOT SURE
IF THERE'S ENOUGH TO EAT NOW.
I'M A VEGETARIAN.
OH.
AND I'M ACTUALLY
ON A NEW LOW-CARB DIET.
WELL, THA SOLVES THAT.
DO YOU HAVE
A BATHROOM?
IN THE HALL.
-OKAY.
-UH-HUH.
SO I GUESS THIS
WASN'T THE BEST WAY
TO SPRING THIS ON YOU?
[LAUGHS]
I JUST,
WHEN YOU SAID "SURPRISE,"
I THOUGHT SOMETHING MORE LIKE
A NEW SUBSCRIPTION
TO A PREACHER'S MAGAZINE.
I BLEW IT, DIDN'T I?
NO.
I'M JUST AFRAID
THERE'S NOT ENOUGH FOOD.
I KNOW THAT SHE'S YOUNG,
BUT SHE'S REALLY NICE
AND I KNOW
THAT YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE HER.
[CALI]: THERE'S--
THERE'S NO SOAP.
[WEARY SIGH]
[CALLS OUT]: ABOVE THE SINK!
I FEEL LIKE HER BABYSITTER.
COME ON, CASE.
ARE WE REALLY GONNA BEGRUDGE
EACH OTHER A LITTLE HAPPINESS?
[]
THIS IS SO GREAT, CASE!
I CAN JUST TELL
WE'RE GOING TO BE "BFF"S!
"BFFs"?
"BEST FRIENDS FOREVER."
I FORGOT THE DESSERT.
[]
SOME SURPRISE THAT WAS!
WELL, WHA DID YOU EXPECT?
IF HE DOESN'T KNOW
YOU'RE INTERESTED IN HIM,
THEN HE HAS EVERY RIGH TO LOOK AROUND.
I TRIED TO TELL HIM.
TRYING AND DOING ARE
TWO DIFFERENT THINGS.
GOOD INTENTION
WILL GET YOU
A DATELESS SATURDAY,
AND NOT MUCH MORE.
WELL, IT'S TOO LATE NOW.
HE'S SEEING SOMEONE.
DO YOU WAN DAVID OR NOT?
THAT'S UNETHICAL.
I'M NOT A MAN-THIEF.
NO MAN HAS
EVER BEEN STOLEN
THAT DIDN'T WANT TO BE.
YOU'VE GO TO KEEP TRYING!
YEAH. WHAT ABOU THE OTHER GIRL?
WELL, IF HE LIKES HER,
THEN NO MATTER
WHAT YOU SAY,
HE'LL STAY WITH HER.
HOW MUCH FURTHER
ARE WE GONNA GO?
NOT MUCH MORE.
[BOTH WHEEZING]
DID YOU, UH, DID YOU
GET YOUR INVITATION
FOR THE FUNDRAISER THING?
YEAH. I MAILED
IN THE CHECK
AND THREW OU THE INVITE.
THREW IT OUT?
YEAH.
WELL, YOU'RE GONNA DIG BACK
IN THAT TRASH AND GET I 'CAUSE YOU'RE TAKING
HIM WITH YOU.
NOTHING LIKE A LITTLE
BLACK-TIE DO
TO SPARK UP
A LITTLE ROMANCE.
OH--
AND WE'RE GONNA HAVE
YOU LOOKING SO CUTE,
THAT HE'S GONNA FORGE ALL ABOUT WHAT'S-HER-NAME.
REALLY? SEE?
THIS IS WHY IT'S SO GREA YOU'RE IN MY LIFE.
YOU REALLY
SIMPLIFY EVERYTHING.
WELL, IT IS SIMPLE.
YOU JUST LIKE
TO COMPLICATE THINGS.
COME ON.
ONE MORE MILE.
[HUMMING]
WHAT'S THE MATTER, HONEY?
THE CASH OFFERINGS
ARE AT THE LOWEST YET.
MAYBE PEOPLE ARE VOTING
WITH THEIR MONEY.
MAYBE OLIVIA TOMPKINS
WAS RIGHT,
THAT PEOPLE ARE SO OUTRAGED
BY MY PRESENCE IN THE PULPIT,
THAT THEY'RE WILLING
TO DESTROY THEIR CHURCH.
MAYBE.
OR MAYBE SOMEBODY'S
STEALING THE OFFERING.
ANGELIQUE...
YOU'RE A GENIUS!
YEAH, I'LL TAKE THAT.
[]
[LINE RINGS]
[DAVID]: HELLO?
DAVID, I NEED YOUR HELP.
THEY SELL
WEB CAMERAS HERE?
YEAH. OUTDOOR
SPORTSMEN USE THEM.
OH.
HI!
HI. WE ARE LOOKING FOR
A MOTION-DETECTOR CAMERA.
SURE.
THIS HERE
IS A GAME CAMERA.
A MOTION SENSOR
TRIGGERS THE CAMERA TO RECORD
WHEN ACTIVATED.
HUNTERS USE THEM TO TRACK DEER.
WHAT ARE YOU STALKING?
A CHURCH
DONATION BOX.
IT'S A LONG STORY.
THIS IS EXACTLY
WHAT WE NEED.
WE'LL TAKE IT.
THANK YOU.
THANKS.
COOL.
SO, HOW PEEVED
ARE YOU ABOUT DINNER?
NO, I'M NOT.
JUST HELP ME INSTALL THE CAMERA
AND WE'LL CALL IT EVEN.
I KNOW YOU DON' APPROVE OF CALI.
DAVID, IT'S YOUR LIFE.
I REALLY SHOULDN'T BE
SO JUDGMENTAL.
I'M GLAD TO HEAR YOU SAY THAT.
ACTUALLY, UM,
DO YOU THINK CALI WOULD LET ME
BORROW YOU SATURDAY EVENING?
I NEED AN ESCOR FOR THE FUNDRAISER.
ABSOLUTELY.
I'LL EVEN BREAK OUT MY OLD TUX
FOR THE OCCASION.
HMM!
[]
[DAVID]: HEY, YOU KNOW
THE CODE, RIGHT, CASE?
BECAUSE IF THE POLICE
GET CALLED,
THE DOGS COME IN FIRST.
[CASEY]: YES, I KNOW THE CODE.
I WORK HERE, REMEMBER?
[DOOR OPENING]
ALL RIGHT,
THERE'S THE OFFERING BOX.
OKAY...
WE WANT TO PUT I SOMEWHERE WHERE...
SOMEWHERE WHERE
WE CAN'T SEE IT.
HANG IT FROM UP HIGH.
THAT'S PROBABLY GOOD.
ALL RIGHT, SO,
DO WE NEED A LADDER?
IT'S OKAY.
OH. OKAY.
HOLD THIS.
HERE'S THE CAMERA.
CAMERA....
AND A COUPLE
OF STRAPS.
THANKS.
DON'T DROP IT.
OKAY.
[]
NICE.
NOW SLIDE IT OVER.
AWESOME.
YEAH!
YEAH, THAT LOOKS GOOD.
OKAY, COME DOWN.
OOH.
[CASEY]: KISS HIM.
NO, NO, NO.
HE SHOULD KISS ME.
NO! THIS CAN'T HAPPEN!
-WE SHOULD GO.
YEAH.
OKAY.
-AFTER YOU.
-AFTER YOU.
-GOOD JOB.
-YOU TOO.
[]
[]
HEY.
HI!
WHAT'S GOING ON?
OH, GIRL. WELL...
I WANTED
TO TELL YOU FIRST.
OH, PLEASE DON'T TELL ME
THAT YOU SIGNED US UP
FOR KUNG FU
OR MILITARY BOOT CAMP.
OH, NOT YET. NO.
NO, OKAY, SERIOUSLY.
I'M THINKING ABOU MOVING OUT OF THE COUNTRY.
ON A MISSIONARY TRIP?
NO. TO TEACH.
YOU'RE LEAVING YOUR CHURCH?
VERY FUNNY.
NO. I'M SERIOUS.
WHAT?
COULD I HAVE
SOME COFFEE, PLEASE?
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?
YOU'VE MADE IT.
YOU'RE A SENIOR PASTOR
AT A LARGE CHURCH.
YOU'RE-- I MEAN,
YOU'RE WITH THE "IN" CROWD
AT THE MINISTER MEETINGS.
I DON'T SERVE GOD
TO PROVE A POINT.
I SERVE GOD TO SERVE GOD,
AND THIS IS...
THIS IS WHERE
I FEEL I'M BEING LED.
IF YOU'RE SURE--
I AM.
THEN I'M HAPPY FOR YOU.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.
[POURING COFFEE]
SO...
YEAH. WHAT'S BEEN
GOING ON WITH YOU?
'CAUSE YOU'VE BEEN
ACTING FUNNY LATELY.
WHAT ARE YOU
NOT TELLING ME?
CASE.
COME OUT WITH IT.
I'M LEAVING, TOO.
WOW, THAT'S GREAT.
YOU GOT A NEW JOB?
NO. I'M LEAVING THE MINISTRY.
I'M GOING TO LAW SCHOOL.
I NEVER THOUGH YOU'D BE A QUITTER.
I AM NOT QUITTING.
I'M SIMPLY
CORRECTING MY COURSE.
THERE'S
A DIFFERENCE.
AND I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU.
I'VE BEEN AGONIZING
OVER THIS DECISION,
AND HERE YOU ARE,
CONDEMNING ME,
AFTER YOU'VE JUST TOLD ME
THAT YOU'RE LEAVING.
I'M NOT LEAVING,
I'M JUST GOING
IN A DIFFERENT DIRECTION.
WHAT HAPPENED
TO YOUR CALL TO THE MINISTRY?
I MEAN,
FOR THE PAST EIGHT YEARS,
YOU'VE BEEN PRETTY SURE.
YEAH, THAT WAS BEFORE
TWO CHURCHES
CONVINCED ME OTHERWISE.
JUST BECAUSE THINGS AREN' ALL SUNNY AND ROSY RIGHT NOW
DOES NOT MEAN YOU GIVE UP
ON GOD'S CALLING FOR YOUR LIFE,
OR YOUR DREAMS.
I JUST...
I DON'T KNOW.
"TRUST IN THE LORD
WITH ALL YOUR HEART...
"AND LEAN NOT INTO
THINE OWN UNDERSTANDING.
"AND IN ALL YOUR WAYS,
ACKNOWLEDGE HIM,
AND HE WILL
MAKE YOUR PATH STRAIGHT."
I AM FEELING
RATHER CROOKED LATELY.
TOLD DAVID YET?
NOT YET.
WELL...
I KNOW HE BELIEVES IN YOU,
AND YOU KNOW
I BELIEVE IN YOU...
BUT YOU HAVE TO
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.
YEAH.
[CHURCH BELL TOLLING]
CASEY?
CASEY!
WHAT IS IT?
YOU HAVE
AN EMERGENCY PHONE CALL!
WHO IS IT?
THE HOSPITAL.
[SARAH GASPS]
SARAH, IT'S OKAY,
IT'S OKAY.
SHE'S A TOUGH ONE
TO KEEP UNDER.
IS SHE GOING TO BE OKAY?
IT DOESN'T LOOK GOOD.
WE'RE WAITING FOR RESULTS
FROM THE M.R.I.
SHE'S HAVING T.I.A.S,
OR MINI-STROKES,
AND HER HIP MAY BE BROKEN
FROM HER FALL.
[MONITOR BEEPING RHYTHMICALLY]
SHE'S GOING TO BE
OUT FOR A WHILE.
[]
THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD.
I SHALL NOT WANT.
HE MAKES ME LIE DOWN
IN GREEN PASTURES.
HE LEADS ME BESIDE STILL WATERS
AND RESTORES MY SOUL.
[]
I ALWAYS THOUGHT OF RONNIE
AS A BIG SISTER
WITH ALL THE ANSWERS,
BUT I NEED YOU TO TELL ME
WHAT TO DO.
SHE ASKED ME
THE SCARIEST QUESTION
A MINISTER COULD ASK ANOTHER...
SHE SAID
IF WE'RE WRONG ABOU SOMETHING AS SACRED
AS BEING CALLED
TO THE MINISTRY...
HOW CAN WE BE CERTAIN
ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE?
SARAH?
I REALLY NEED YOU RIGHT NOW.
[]
[]
SHE'S GONE.
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
INTO YOUR HANDS, O LORD,
WE COMMI OUR SISTER, SARAH.
ASHES TO ASHES,
DUST TO DUST,
IN SURE AND CERTAIN HOPE
OF THE RESURRECTION
OF OUR LORD, JESUS CHRIST.
ARE THEY GOING TO
TAKE HER AWAY IN THIS?
PROBABLY.
SHE WOULD HATE THAT.
CAN WE PUT A PRETTY ROBE
ON HER?
OF COURSE.
[]
SARAH BROWN HAD
75 WONDERFUL,
GRACE-FILLED YEARS.
I WAS DRAWN TO HER
FROM THE MOMENT I MET HER.
SHE WAS ORDAINED
AT A VERY YOUNG AGE
AND SHE HAD THIS GLOW
THAT EMANATED FROM HER
AS IF SHE'D SEEN
THE FACE OF GOD.
[VOICE TREMBLES]:
SHE WAS MY COURAGE
AND MY WISDOM.
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT I'LL DO WITHOUT HER.
[QUIET MURMURING]
[]
THANK YOU.
BYE.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
THANK YOU.
-HEY.
-HEY.
YOU GAVE SARAH
A WONDERFUL EULOGY.
YEAH, YOU REALLY
DID HER JUSTICE.
WE COULD REALLY TELL
HOW MUCH YOU LOVED HER.
THAT WAS...
VERY NICE.
THANK YOU.
WE COULD
GO TO THE MOVIES.
YEAH, OR YOU CAN
COME HOME WITH ME,
AND WE COULD
DEEP-CONDITION OUR HAIR,
OR DO SOME
MANIS AND PEDIS?
YOU GUYS ARE SO SWEET,
BUT I THINK I JUST NEED
TO BE ALONE RIGHT NOW.
[]
GOODBYE
GOOD FRIEND
SEE YOU
SOMETIME
I CAN'T SAY WHEN
TIME WILL
BRING US TOGETHER
AGAIN
TILL THEN
GOODBYE
GOOD FRIEND
AHH, AHH...
AHH
AHH...
I CAN'T
SAY WHEN
TIME WILL
BRING US TOGETHER
AGAIN
TILL THEN
[DAVID]: HELLO?
HEY, DAVID. IT'S RONNIE.
HOW ARE YOU?
I'M WELL, AND YOU?
GOOD, GOOD.
I'M ACTUALLY LOOKING FOR CASE.
I CAN'T GET HER
TO ANSWER HER PHONE.
[KNOCKING AT DOOR]
[KNOCKING LOUDER]
[TAPPING ON WINDOW]
[DOORBELL CHIMING]
HEY!
HEY.
YOU OKAY?
-CASE?
-YEAH.
WHAT ARE
YOU DOING HERE?
WE'RE WORRIED ABOUT YOU.
YOU'RE NO ANSWERING YOUR PHONE.
YOU DIDN'T TELL ME
WHAT TIME I'M SUPPOSED
TO MEET YOU TONIGHT.
YOU FORGOT?
THE FUNDRAISER.
I'M NOT GOING TO GO TO THAT.
I CAN'T.
I THINK YOU SHOULD.
I THINK... I THINK
THAT YOU HAVE TO.
SARAH WOULD BE THE FIRST ONE
TO TELL YOU--
LIFE GOES ON, CASEY.
YEAH.
THAT'S FINE.
LIFE CAN GO ON.
I JUST NEED IT TO GO ON
WITHOUT ME FOR A LITTLE WHILE.
YEAH, BUT IT DOESN'T.
I ALREADY CALLED RONNIE
AND SHE'S GONNA COME OVER
IN A COUPLE HOURS
TO HELP YOU GET READY.
I GUESS YOU GUYS DIDN'T REALLY
LEAVE ME MUCH CHOICE.
WELL, YOU CAN' STAND ME UP, HART.
[TAKES A DEEP BREATH, SIGHS]
OKAY.
YEAH?
OKAY.
OKAY.
I'LL...
I'LL MEET YOU THERE.
SEE YOU AT 7:00.
GOOD.
[]
[BACKGROUND CHATTER]
[]
WOW. YOU LOOK AMAZING.
YOU DON'T LOOK SO BAD YOURSELF.
WE SHOULD GET YOU A DRINK.
OKAY.
WHAT'S UP?
I'M JUST THINKING.
ABOUT CHURCH
TOMORROW?
NO.
OH, ABOUT CALI?
I WAS THINKING ABOUT YOU.
DAVID...
[WORDS CATCH]
NOT HERE.
CASEY? WHAT'S GOING ON?
UM, THERE'S SOMETHING I NEED
TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT, DAVID.
OKAY.
I DIDN'T PLAN THIS.
WE'VE BEEN FRIENDS
FOR A LONG TIME.
YES.
UH...
NO.
I WON'T TAKE ADVANTAGE
OF YOUR GRIEVING.
I KNOW THAT YOU'RE HURTING,
RIGHT NOW, CASE,
BUT THIS ISN'T THE ANSWER.
WHAT IF I WANT TO?
[SIGHS]
I DON'T THINK YOU KNOW
WHAT YOU WANT RIGHT NOW.
YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW
WHAT I WANT?
WHEN HAVE YOU EVER?
YOU THOUGHT THAT A SMALL CHURCH
WOULD SATISFY YOU,
BUT THE SECOND
THAT THINGS GOT TOUGH,
YOU DIDN'T EVEN FIGHT,
YOU RAN AWAY.
AND THEN YOU THOUGH THAT BEING AN ASSOCIATE WAS
YOUR CALLING TO THE MINISTRY,
BUT IT TURNS OUT THA THAT'S NOT IT,
AND NOW YOU AGREE
TO THIS INTERIM THING, AND...
YOU'VE NEVER SHOWN FEELINGS
FOR ME BEFORE.
YOU'RE FLAILING, CASE.
I AM NOT FLAILING.
AND I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW,
I'M DONE WITH MY SO-CALLED
CAREER IN MINISTRY.
I'M QUITTING
AT THE END OF SUMMER.
TO DO WHAT?
GO TO LAW SCHOOL.
LAW SCHOOL?
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
YEAH.
AND WHEN WERE YOU GOING TO
TELL ME ABOUT THIS?
WHEN THE TIME WAS RIGHT.
AS IN, RIGHT BEFORE
SCHOOL STARTED?
I CAN'T BELIEVE
THAT YOU WOULD KEEP
SOMETHING LIKE THAT FROM ME.
YEAH, WELL, I KNEW
YOU WOULD JUDGE ME.
NO, YOU KNEW
THAT I WOULD TELL YOU THE TRUTH.
YOU HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT GOD WANTS FOR YOU.
YOU'RE SQUANDERING YOUR GIF AND YOU ARE LATCHING ON
TO WHATEVER'S HANDY,
HOPING THAT IT'S GONNA
MAKE YOU HAPPY.
I'M NOT WILLING
TO BE A GUY THAT IS HANDY.
WE'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER
WAY TOO LONG FOR THAT.
YOU MEAN TOO MUCH TO ME.
SO YOU DON'T WANT ME.
NOT LIKE THIS.
NO.
[]
[]
[KNOCKING]
[DOOR CREAKS OPEN]
YOU HAVE A VISITOR.
SHE SAYS
SHE'S DAVID'S FRIEND.
HI! HI, CASEY!
CALI.
HI. THIS IS A SURPRISE.
UM, I NEED-- I NEED TO TALK
TO SOMEBODY ABOUT DAVID.
SOMEBODY
WHO KNOWS HIM.
DO YOU MIND?
ACTUALLY, I'M REALLY BUSY
RIGHT NOW.
OH, YOU'RE JUST EATING, RIGHT?
GO AHEAD.
YOU KNOW,
IT DOESN'T BOTHER ME.
WHAT'S THIS?
THIS IS A SECURITY CAMERA.
WHAT'S ON
YOUR MIND, CALI?
UM, WELL...
DAVID BROKE UP WITH ME.
DAVID BROKE UP WITH YOU?
I-I DON'T KNOW WHY.
HE SAID IT WASN'T WORKING.
I DON'T KNOW
WHY IT WASN'T WORKING.
I MEAN, IT WAS--
IT WAS WORKING FOR ME.
I THINK MAYBE
THERE'S SOMEONE ELSE.
I THINK THERE'S
SOMEONE ELSE.
YOU WOULD KNOW, RIGHT, CASEY,
IF THERE WAS SOMEONE?
HE HASN'T MENTIONED
SOMEONE ELSE.
WILL YOU TALK TO HIM FOR ME?
CONVINCE HIM
WE BELONG TOGETHER?
NO, CALI.
I CAN'T BE
THE THIRD SIDE IN THIS TRIANGLE.
YOU NEED TO
TALK TO DAVID YOURSELF.
[GASPS]
IT'S YOU.
ISN'T IT?
I KNEW IT!
YOU WANT HIM
ALL FOR YOURSELF.
NO, CALI,
IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE.
[THUMPS TABLE]
IT IS.
SOME FRIEND
YOU TURNED OUT TO BE.
SOME MINISTER!
CALI, I'M SO SORRY.
[PHONE RINGS]
[SIGHS]
HELLO.
PASTOR HART'S OFFICE.
[]
OLIVIA.
WHAT IN THE WORLD...
[ANGELIQUE]:
CASEY? IT'S OLIVIA.
[CASEY]: I KNOW.
WHAT DOES SHE WANT NOW?
SOME MORE SALAD DRESSING,
OR JUST SOMEONE TO PESTER?
SHE WAS ATTACKED.
SHE'S BEEN TAKEN
TO THE HOSPITAL.
MY GOSH! WHAT HAPPENED?
SOME PUNK
IN THE GROCERY STORE PARKING LO PUSHED HER DOWN
AND TRIED TO STEAL HER PURSE.
IS SHE STILL IN THE HOSPITAL?
IS SHE HURT BAD?
SHE'S AT HOME RESTING NOW.
HER HOUSEKEEPER
CALLED AND ASKED
IF SOMEBODY COULD PICK UP
HER PAIN MEDS.
ALICE DOESN'T DRIVE,
SO I JUST THOUGH I'D TAKE THE CAR MYSELF.
I'LL GO.
YOU WILL?
WELL, YEAH, I MEAN,
I DON'T LIKE HER,
BUT IT DOESN'T MEAN
I HATE HER.
I CERTAINLY DON' WISH ILL ON HER.
[]
[DOORBELL CHIMES]
OH, GOOD MORNING,
PASTOR.
HI, ALICE. I BROUGH MISS TOMPKINS' PRESCRIPTIONS.
HOW'S SHE FEELING?
OH, SHE'S DOING BETTER.
SHE'S IN HER BEDROOM.
LET ME WALK YOU UP.
[]
OLIVIA?
IT'S PASTOR HART.
WELL, DON'T JUS STAND THERE.
COME IN.
[CASEY]: HERE'S WHA THEY DON'T TELL YOU
IN DIVINITY SCHOOL.
YOU WILL FALL IN LOVE
WITH YOUR PARISHIONERS,
EVEN THE SNARKY, OBNOXIOUS ONES.
DID YOU BRING MY PAIN PILLS
OR NOT?
YEAH. THEY'RE RIGHT HERE.
[GRUMBLES]
I CAN'T TAKE THEM
WITHOUT WATER.
YOU MAY AS WELL
MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL.
[CASEY]: THEY DON'T TELL YOU
THOSE IMPERFECT FOLKS
SITTING IN THE PEW
WILL WORM THEIR WAY
INTO YOUR HEART.
[PILLS RATTLE]
THANK YOU.
GO DOWNSTAIRS
AND TELL ALICE
TO BRING UP
MY MAGAZINES.
WE NEED TO TALK.
I'M HARDLY IN ANY CONDITION
FOR A TETE-A-TETE.
IT'S ABOU THE MISSING OFFERINGS.
THIS IS THE HARDLY THE TIME.
I THINK RIGHT NOW
IS THE PERFECT TIME.
I KNOW YOU TOOK THE MONEY.
I DON'T KNOW WHA YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
JUST WAIT UNTIL THE PERSONNEL
COMMITTEE MEETS AGAIN.
YOU SHOULD'VE RESIGNED LONG AGO,
AND NEXT TIME, I'M GOING
TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU DO.
YOU TOOK THE MONEY
SO IT WOULD LOOK LIKE PEOPLE
WERE PROTESTING AGAINST ME.
WHY, OLIVIA?
DO YOU REALLY
HATE ME THAT MUCH?
IT'S NOT RIGHT.
MINISTERS SHOULD BE MEN.
ESPECIALLY SENIOR PASTORS.
I'M A TEMPORARY FIX.
YOU REALLY COULDN'T HANDLE
A WOMAN MINISTER
JUST FOR A FEW MONTHS?
IF IT'S WRONG,
IT'S WRONG.
RIGHT.
SOME VERY FAITHFUL,
VERY CHRISTIAN PEOPLE
DON'T THINK
IT'S WRONG AT ALL.
IF IT WAS
WRONG IN MY DAY,
IT'S WRONG NOW!
OLIVIA...
DID YOU HAVE A CALL
TO BE A MINISTER?
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
YOU DID, DIDN'T YOU?
WHAT DID THEY SAY?
[SOBS QUIETLY]
THEY SAID
THAT SATAN
WAS TEMPTING ME AWAY
FROM MARRIAGE AND MOTHERHOOD.
WELL, I'VE HAD
PRECIOUS LITTLE OF ONE
AND NONE OF THE OTHER.
THEY SAID IT WAS WRONG,
THAT I WAS WRONG.
AND THEY WERE RIGHT.
I WAS WRONG TO THINK
THAT I COULD EVER BE A MINISTER.
WHAT IF THEY WERE WRONG?
I'M TIRED.
GO AWAY NOW.
[]
[]
-CASEY--
-HELLO.
WE NEED TO TALK.
OLIVIA CALLED.
SHE TOLD ME EVERYTHING.
OH.
OH, GOOD. SO YOU KNOW
WHAT'S BEEN HAPPENING
TO THE CASH OFFERINGS, THEN?
YEAH.
WELL, I'M SO GLAD I DON'T HAVE
TO KEEP IT A SECRET ANYMORE.
I TELL YOU WHAT.
YOU KNOW,
IF YOU NEEDED MONEY,
YOU SHOULD HAVE COME
TO THE COMMITTEE.
EXCUSE ME?
WELL, I TOLD YOU,
OLIVIA SAID THAT YOU'D
CONFESSED EVERYTHING TO HER.
DID SHE?
WELL, I REALLY MUST HAVE
OVERESTIMATED THE PAINKILLERS
AND UNDERESTIMATED THE WOMAN.
SHE ALSO SET A VERY GOOD
EXAMPLE OF CHRISTIAN CHARITY.
SHE SAID THAT WE SHOULDN' CALL THE POLICE,
AS LONG AS YOU AGREED
TO RESIGN AND GO QUIETLY.
WHAT?
LOOK, I THINK YOU SHOULD
RETURN THE MONEY.
I DIDN'T STEAL THE MONEY, ED!
I NEVER EXPECTED
THIS OF YOU, CASEY.
WELL, I'M GLAD
THAT MY ALLEGED KLEPTOMANIA
COMES AS A SHOCK TO YOU.
ALLEGED?
LOOK, IT'S TOO LATE FOR DENIAL.
I'VE ALREADY CALLED
AN EMERGENCY MEETING
OF THE PERSONNEL COMMITTEE FOR
FIRST THING TOMORROW MORNING.
[]
KNOCKS]
-HELLO?
YOU HAVE A VISITOR.
ANGELIQUE,
I REALLY CAN'T--
OH.
THIS IS A SURPRISE.
CAN I COME IN?
SURE, YEAH. COME IN.
HOW'VE YOU BEEN?
IS THIS A TRICK QUESTION?
LOOK, ABOUT THE OTHER NIGHT--
THE SECURITY CAMERA WORKED.
EXCEPT FOR NOW OLIVIA TOMPKINS
IS BLAMING ME
FOR TAKING THE OFFERINGS.
AND OLIVIA'S
THE REAL CULPRIT AFTER ALL?
VERY ASTUTE.
WE NEED TO TALK.
DO WE? REALLY?
I MEAN,
I'D RATHER JUS PRETEND SATURDAY NIGH NEVER HAPPENED.
WELL, IF WE DON' TALK ABOUT IT,
HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED
TO MOVE PAST IT?
YOU'RE NOT PAST IT?
[SIGHS] I SWEAR...
YOU CAN RUN AWAY
EVEN WHEN YOU'RE STANDING STILL.
WHY DON'T YOU GIVE ME A CALL
WHEN YOU'RE READY TO TALK,
OKAY, CASE?
[]
BYE.
[]
[CASEY, QUIETLY]:
OKAY, SARAH.
I COULD REALLY
USE SOME WORDS RIGHT NOW.
[CASEY SIGHS]
MATTHEW 5:11--
"BLESSED ARE YOU
WHEN PEOPLE INSULT YOU,
"PERSECUTE YOU,
"AND FALSELY SAY ALL KINDS
OF EVIL AGAINST YOU,
BECAUSE OF ME."
NO. THAT'S NOT RIGHT.
LET'S SEE.
WHATCHA GOT HERE?
PROVERBS 20:1--
"WINE IS A MOCKER,
BEER IS A BRAWLER.
WHOEVER IS LED ASTRAY
BY THEM..."
OH.
SILLY.
[]
TIMOTHY 6:12.
"FIGHT THE GOOD FIGH "FOR THE TRUE FAITH.
"HOLD TIGHTLY
TO THE ETERNAL LIFE
TO WHICH
GOD HAS CALLED YOU."
[]
THANK YOU, SARAH.
THAT'S THE ONE.
THANK YOU.
[BREATHES DEEPLY, EXHALES]
[INDISTINC BACKGROUND EXCHANGE]
TA-DAH.
[COMMITTEE CHUCKLING]
WELCOME.
HERE. SIT.
-NEED A HAND?
-NO.
SHALL WE BEGIN?
-[OLIVIA CRIES OUT IN PAIN]
-OH, OH.
SHALL WE BEGIN?
CASEY, WOULD YOU CARE
TO START US IN A PRAYER?
SURE.
ALMIGHTY FATHER,
WE THANK YOU FOR YOUR GUIDANCE.
WE ASK YOU TO BE WITH US
IN THIS MEETING TODAY. AMEN.
[OVERLAPPING]: AMEN.
I KNOW WHO TOOK THE OFFERINGS.
[OLIVIA]:
WE ALL KNOW, CASEY.
YOUR CONFESSION
COMES A LITTLE LATE.
WE WAN YOUR RESIGNATION.
OBVIOUSLY, IT WASN'T ME.
THAT'S NO OBVIOUS TO ANYONE.
WELL, I'VE BEEN
MONITORING THE SACRISTY
WITH THIS SURVEILLANCE CAMERA.
IT WAS
ONE OF OUR CHURCH MEMBERS.
I'D RATHER NOT SAY WHO,
BECAUSE I DO BELIEVE
THAT THEY WILL RETURN
THE MONEY TO ME,
AND THAT IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.
AND YOU EXPECT US
TO BELIEVE
THIS OUTRAGEOUS STORY?
WELL, YES, BECAUSE I HAVE
VIDEO FOOTAGE.
I THINK WE PROBABLY
NEED TO SEE IT.
[CASEY]: I'M WILLING
TO FORGIVE THE CULPRI AND GIVE THEM A NEW START,
BECAUSE I BELIEVE
THAT'S WHAT JESUS WOULD DO.
I BELIEVE IN FORGIVENESS,
AND I'D LIKE TO PRACTICE THAT.
YOU ALL CHOSE ME
TO FILL PASTOR BLACK'S SHOES,
AND I'D LIKE YOU
TO HONOR THAT CHOICE,
AND I EXPECT YOU
TO TRUST ME
AS SENIOR PASTOR.
UM...
WELL, AS I'M SURE
WE WOULD ALL LIKE TO
AVOID ANY MAJOR SCANDAL,
IT APPEARS AN UNKNOWN PERSON
STOLE THE MONEY
AND THEN THEY RETURNED IT.
-THEY DID.
-AND THEY WON'T DO IT AGAIN.
RIGHT.
THAT IS CORRECT.
GOOD.
UH, THE PROPERTY COMMITTEE
WILL LOOK INTO IMPROVING
SECURITY, BUT, UH...
AS IT STANDS,
THIS COMMITTEE
HAS NOTHING TO ACT ON.
WELL, THEN,
I GUESS WE SHOULD
JUST ADJOURN.
UH, ACTUALLY--
THERE IS ONE MORE THING
THAT WE NEED TO DISCUSS.
THIS INCIDEN HAS BROUGHT TO MY ATTENTION
THAT WE NEED
A MORE STRUCTURED AGREEMEN ON MY NEW ROLE
AS SENIOR MINISTER HERE.
I AM ASKING FOR CONFIDENCE
IN MY MINISTRY,
A 25% PAY RAISE,
AND A ONE-YEAR CONTRACT.
AND I'D LIKE YOU TO GIVE ME
AN ANSWER TODAY.
THERE, THAT'S DONE.
[]
I BELIEVE CASEY'S REQUESTS
ARE REASONABLE.
AND AS THE LARGEST CONTRIBUTOR
IN THIS CONGREGATION,
I SUGGEST WE DO AS SHE SAYS.
THE LARGEST CONTRIB--?
YOU'RE THE LARGEST?
I THOUGHT--?
WE THOUGHT IT WAS...
[]
CONGRATULATIONS, CASEY.
THANK YOU, MARJORIE.
YES.
CONGRATULATIONS, CASEY.
[]
[]
OH, HI, CASEY.
I CAN DO THIS LATER.
[]
HI, SARAH.
I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU.
I FEEL SILLY TALKING
TO AN EMPTY ROOM, BUT...
IT FEELS GOOD
TO SAY IT OUT LOUD.
A GOOD LAWYER...
WOULD HAVE PROSECUTED OLIVIA.
AND ENJOYED DOING IT.
BUT... [SNIFFS]
THAT'S NOT ME.
THAT'S NOT MY CALLING.
I THOUGHT THIS WAS
MY TICKET TO HAPPINESS.
I WAS WRONG.
[SNIFFLES]
GRANT ME FAITH, O LORD.
[TAKES A DEEP BREATH]
GOOD MORNING,
OLIVIA.
-IS IT?
-MM-HMM.
THEN WHY ARE YOU HERE?
YOU HAVE WHAT YOU WANT.
AREN'T YOU
GOING TO OPEN IT?
WHY?
I KNOW WHAT'S IN IT.
A REQUEST FOR ME TO RESIGN
MY MEMBERSHIP IN THE CHURCH
AND A POSSIBLE ADMONITION
TO BE GRATEFUL YOU'RE NO TURNING ME INTO THE POLICE.
COME ON.
OPEN IT UP AND SEE.
[GRUDGING SIGH] AHEM.
THIS ISN'T FUNNY, PASTOR.
NO, IT'S NOT.
IT'S FAR TOO LATE.
IT'S NEVER TOO LATE.
YOU'VE CHAIRED ALMOS EVERY COMMITTEE IN THE CHURCH,
RUN THE WOMEN'S AUXILIARY
AND WERE THE TREASURER.
YOU CAN DO THIS!
I'LL LOOK LIKE A FOOL.
WE ALL LOOK A FOOL
ONE TIME OR ANOTHER.
YOU'D BE IN GOOD COMPANY.
[]
THANK YOU.
NO.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME
REMEMBER AND APPRECIATE MY...
OUR CALLING
TO SERVE GOD
IN THE CHURCH MINISTRY.
[]
[QUIET CHUCKLE]
AHEM. ALRIGHT.
[]
-HEY!
-[KNOCKS]
HI! I GOT YOUR MESSAGE.
I'M LEAVING NEXT WEEK.
SO YOU GO YOUR ASSIGNMENT?
WELL, I ACTUALLY, UH,
I'M GOING TO SOUTH AFRICA.
I'M TEACHING AT A SCHOOL
FOR A.I.D.S. ORPHANS.
RONNIE, THAT'S AMAZING!
I KNOW!
THEY ARE SO LUCKY TO HAVE YOU.
I'M GOING TO REALLY MISS YOU.
I'M GOING TO MISS YOU, TOO.
MM.
OKAY, SO,
WHAT WERE YOU DRINKING
WHEN YOU CAME UP WITH THIS PLAN?
-OH--
-BELL TOWER?
I KNOW. I KNOW, IT'S CRAZY,
BUT IT'S TIME,
I HAVE TO TELL HIM.
SO, COME ON, WILL YOU HELP ME?
-ABSOLUTELY.
-OKAY. COME ON.
[RONNIE]: GIRL, THIS IS CRAZY!
WHY COULDN'T YOU JUS DO THINGS THE NORMAL WAY?
FOR A GOOD REASON--
SO I DON'T RUN AWAY.
ALSO, WHEN HAVE
I EVER DONE ANYTHING
THE NORMAL WAY?
DOES ANGELIQUE AT LEAS KNOW TO SEND HIM?
MM-HMM.
WISH ME LUCK.
OKAY. YOU'RE CUTE.
BE CAREFUL!
I'M GONNA GO MAKE SURE
DAVID FINDS YOU.
-ALRIGHT.
-ALRIGHT? GOOD LUCK!
THANKS!
[]
CASE?
[]
I'M UP HERE!
CASEY, WHAT IS GOING ON?
I JUST DIDN'T WAN ANYONE TO FIND US.
WHO IN HEAVEN'S NAME
IS GONNA FIND US UP HERE?
[]
IF YOU'RE GOING
THROUGH SOME SOR OF MIDLIFE CRISIS,
THEN JUST SAY SO.
MAYBE YOU JUST NEEDED
THE NEARES AVAILABLE SAFE GUY
FOR WHATEVER DRAMA'S
GOT YOU IN ITS THROES,
BUT YOU HAVE TO DEAL, CASE.
YOU ACTUALLY THINK
THIS IS SOME SORT OF
HORMONALLY-CHARGED
MIDLIFE CRISIS?
YOU WANT TO KNOW
WHAT THIS IS ABOUT?
YES, I DO.
I LOVE YOU.
THERE. I SAID IT.
I LOVE YOU,
I'VE LOVED YOU
FROM THE MOMENT I TRIPPED
OVER YOUR GINORMOUS FEE IN DIVINITY SCHOOL ORIENTATION,
AND JUST I DIDN'T KNOW I UNTIL THAT NIGHT AT KARAOKE.
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?
BECAUSE I WAS SCARED.
OF ME?
OF REJECTION.
I GUESS IT WAS
MORE ABOUT ME THAN YOU.
I TOLD YOU
HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU, AND...
WHAT DO YOU FEEL ABOUT ME?
I ADORE YOU.
I'VE ADORED YOU PRETTY MUCH
FROM THE MOMENT THAT I MET YOU.
"ADORE" LIKE
"CUTE KITTEN" SORT OF ADORE,
OR LIKE, "YOU'RE A GODDESS.
I ADORE YOU."?
THE SECOND ONE.
[]
[SHRIEKING]:
HALLELUJAH! WHOO!
[BOTH LAUGHING]
[]
[ORGAN RISES]
["BRIDAL CHORUS" PLAYS]
[]
[CASEY]: NO.
I'M NOT PERFORMING
MY OWN WEDDING CEREMONY.
NEXT TO ME,
DAVID STANDS TALL AND HANDSOME.
HE AND I
ARE SHARING THE HONORS,
OFFICIATING THE SERVICE
FOR THE COUPLE
STANDING BEFORE US.
WHO BRINGS THIS WOMAN
TO BE MARRIED TO THIS MAN?
HER MOM AND I DO.
GOOD LUCK.
AND NOW,
DAVID AND CASEY
CAN JOIN HANDS--
OH.
OOPS.
[DAVID CHUCKLES]
[CASEY]: I AM AMAZED
WHEN I THINK BACK
OVER THE PAST FEW WEEKS
HOW MY LIFE HAS CHANGED.
I GOT THE FEELING
THE FOLKS AT LAW SCHOOL
SEEM RELIEVED BY MY DECISION
NOT TO MATRICULATE THERE.
I'VE TAKEN OLIVIA
TO VISIT THE DIVINITY SCHOOL
AND MEE A FEW OF THE PROFESSORS.
I DROVRONNIE TO THE AIRPORT.
AND AS FOR DAVID...
LET'S JUST SAY
WE'RE TRYING TO FIGURE OU HOW YOU GO
FROM BEING BEST FRIENDS
TO BOYFRIEND
AND GIRLFRIEND.
IT'S PERHAPS THE FIRST TIME
THESE WALLS HAVE WITNESSED
THIS KIND OF
MINISTERIAL MISCONDUCT.
WITH ANY LUCK,
IT WON'T BE THE LAST.
[]