Hellboy: The Crooked Man (2024) Movie Script

1
[song: "Knees
Shakin'" by Don Terry]
And I looked at a mountain
and the mountain started
shakin'
I looked at a boulder and
the boulder started breakin'
I looked at the ground and
the ground started shakin'
When I looked at you
my knees started shakin'
Knees shakin' Heart achin'
Bones a breakin'
I'm in love with you
[clacking ghostly sound]
Joe, you hear that?
No. Hear what?
I thought Big Red
wasn't scared of anything.
You getting the
heebie-jeebies, friend?
I am the heebie-jeebies.
Remind me why Junior
G-man's coming along for a ride?
I'm just here to make sure
that whatever's in that box
and one pretty lady
make another 600 miles to
Fairfield without any trouble.
[radio chatter]
So what's in the box?
Should I tell him?
A funnel-web spider.
Probably the most deadly
arachnid in the world.
Only this one seems
to house a plausibly
demonic entity.
You're yanking my chain, right?
That's not the half of it.
There's all manner
of bizarre phenomena
associated with this creature.
Temporal, gravitational
I mean things you
wouldn't believe.
I barely believe it
and I've cataloged the
photographic
evidence in detail.
It's been kept sedated
in a state of
sensory deprivation
until we can analyze it in
a more controlled setting.
Dammit, you're
not hearing that?
Hellboy, are you okay?
[boxes fall]
What's happening?
[grunts]
Oh my god!
[song: "Knees Shakin'"
by Don Terry continues]
[spider screeches]
Oh my god!
Ahh! Ahh!
Heart achin'
bones a breakin'
Ahh! Ahh!
I'm in love with you
Ahh! Ahh!
Ahh!
[grunts]
-You alright?
-Yeah, yeah.
Hey, lay dead a sec.
[high pitch sinister score]
Ah! Oh fuck!
Oh shit.
[grunts]
Hellboy, Hellboy, look.
I like them better small.
Don't let him get away.
Don't let him get away.
It's
[grunts]
Oh crap.
Who builds a tunnel to hell
in the middle of the woods?
Some kind of ventilation shaft.
Coal mining country.
Appalachia.
Well that's just swell,
we lost the cargo.
After you.
[scoffs]
Come on
[radio static]
He, he, he.
[sinister score]
Joe?
I'm okay.
Field work, huh?
It's not much like
research, is it?
I just don't get it.
Spider what made
it go crazy like that?
Something in these hills.
Trees,
and the dirt.
Something haunted.
Evil.
This place has the stink.
I smell pine needles?
Underneath that, Joe.
Madness.
Death,
called out to Daddy Longlegs.
Woke him up.
How do you know that?
Dark things call
to dark things.
[blows on cigar]
I heard it too.
We are so screwed.
Screwed, chewed, and tattooed.
We need, we need to find a
phone. We need to call this in.
Yeah.
Ma?
Around these parts I'm not sure
which one of us stands out more.
It's the devil
come up the road.
No it ain't.
Get!
It's that red fella from
the United Nations.
I've seen him once on
the cover of Life magazine.
United Nations?
Look at you
little oriental doll.
Ain't you a purdy thing.
Um
I'm Special Agent Song, ma'am.
We've been in an accident; do
you happen to have a phone?
Sure we do.
It's in back next to
the color television
and the chicken that
shits out silver dollars
- and the Mercedes Benz.
- Alright.
May as well come inside.
Ma'am, get these on
some modern rags,
doll, they're all
cut up and bloody.
Oh no, that's not necessary.
What happened to him?
He ain't moved a
muscle since I found him.
Anyone thought of
taking him to the doctor?
You guys have doctors, right?
Or you like him as a rug?
Truck's out.
Anyhow ain't no doctor
gonna do him no good.
- Why's that?
- Cause he witched, that's why.
Witched?
Child didn't have no sense.
Kept teasing that Cora Fisher.
Throwing rocks at her window,
leaving dead
things for her to find.
Told him he better
stay away from her.
Everyone knows
Cora Fisher be a witch.
You said Cora Fisher?
Tom Ferrell. I will be damned.
I ain't dead yet.
Never thought we'd see
you around these parts again.
How many years it been, Tom?
A spell, I reckon.
I found this in the doorstep.
Hmm.
Let's see it.
Ahh.
Yeah.
Witch ball.
Yeah, I've I heard of these.
That's what made
that mark there, ma'am.
You said Cora Fisher did this?
Why, you know her?
Used to.
She wasn't a witch back then.
Take off that boy's
clothes and boil
them, calling it out
Cora Fisher's name.
If she's one that witched
him, that'll bust the spell.
You going up there, ain't ya?
Yeah, reckon I will.
First I'm going to stop
by and see my mama.
Sorry, Tom.
Figured you knew.
She's, uh
she's dead?
Long time now.
Her brother come up to
fetch her. Took her back East.
Oh, ain't that, uh
what about my daddy, then?
Never did see much of him.
Not once since you left.
Guess he finally
drunk himself to death.
He weren't ever much good.
Well, friends,
ma'am, I'll be on my way.
Just a second, Mr. Ferrell.
Um, was it?
It's Tom.
Tom,
this witch, Cora
you might say, eh
this sort of thing
falls under our
sphere of expertise.
- Do you mind if we come along?
- Excuse us. Tom.
Hey. What are you doing?
- Field work.
- Field work?
You're lucky to be alive.
I'm taking you back
to headquarters,
where you belong,
in the library, spilling coffee
on your weird old books.
There's something
going on here.
You said it yourself.
[grunts]
'This place has the stink.'
Yeah, it does.
It's exactly why you
shouldn't be here.
Look, I I need
to understand it.
Okay? And not from some
weird old book, but for real.
Like you do.
Besides, are you
really in such a
hurry to tell Broom
we lost the cargo?
If y'all are coming along
you best come along.
[song: "Dead Man's
Stroll" by The Revels]
May not believe it
but it has to be told
A poor soul doing
the Dead Man's Stroll
[hysterical laughter]
[hysterical laughter]
Ohh.
[knocks]
[clacking sound]
Who's that there?
[indistinct chatter]
Oh,
look at you
all pie-eyed.
What you come see
Grammy Oakum for?
[kraa]
[kraa]
Huh?
What's that?
[clacking]
Oh,
they want to know how
to make a witch ball.
Well, I'll tell you.
It's easy peasy,
you dance around,
buck naked
calling out: blood of weasel,
tail a rat,
guts and bladder
of a black cat,
buzzard eggs and baby's nails,
foot of toad frog,
brain of bat.
And you put a pot to boil
and it all goes in.
Cut some hairs from your head
and your nethers,
and wrap 'em
round a gob of
stuff from the pot.
Make 'em round and a
good size for throwing
and that's that.
You people
wanna trade your souls
for some balls of poison.
Grammy Oakum
says: 'Go right at it.'
[kraa]
And she'll see you
in hell.
[caw, caw]
Magazine said they found
you in a church in England.
So they tell me.
That's all right.
Everybody knows the devil
can't set foot in no church.
You know I'm not actually, uh
The devil?
Yeah.
Oh,
no, I met that son of a bitch.
He don't look nothing like you.
Here's Cora's place.
Cora!
It's Tom!
Tom Ferrell!
[sinister score]
Cora?
Cora?
You knew this girl
pretty well, huh?
Well
we, uh, we weren't
much more than kids.
We were sweethearts.
Figured we'd
always be together.
It's a long time ago, I guess.
Oh, girl
what you do?
Great. Fucking witch balls.
There's more.
Eh, guys?
What do you make of this?
She must be out roaming around.
Just gotta wait
for her to get back.
[buzzing]
That'll be her demon
familiar, I suspect.
I hate those.
They feed on the witch
they're attached to.
They feed off each other.
The witch, the animal.
According to the lore, they
function as symbiotic parasites.
The lore.
Lord, have mercy.
[scoffs]
My mother was a witch.
I bet they left
that little detail
out of your magazine, huh, Tom?
Hmm?
I never met my mother.
Never wanted to.
In fact
everything I ever
knew about witches
I wish I didn't.
On the way up here you
mentioned you saw the devil.
Some 15 years ago,
about a mile from
this very spot,
come upon a stream, and
there she was.
No, not the devil.
Close enough.
Her name was Effie Kolb.
I knew right off
she was trouble.
I'm ashamed to say
I forgot all about poor
old Cora Fisher after that.
You see, Effie,
she was a witch,
and she got me all
twisted up, thinking
maybe I ought
to be a witch, too.
And all that talk about
having power over other folks,
made it sound real good.
Yeah.
So, I went out and I
got me a dead black cat.
While my Ma was out,
I boiled it on the stovetop
till it went all to pieces.
Took that mess
down to the creek,
to clean off the bones.
Now Effie told me
whatever bone I
was holding when
the devil showed up
that was gonna
be my lucky bone.
So arbitrary.
I knew him right off.
I heard tales about
him all my life.
Mister Onselm,
some of the old
folks called him.
Most just called him
the Crooked Man.
Crooked Man. Uhh.
As story goes,
Mr. Onselm was one of the first
white men who came
here from Europe
hundreds of years ago.
He played both sides in
the war between the states.
He came to be a very rich man.
Sounds like a real
clever little fella.
How did that work out for him?
They say heaven don't
have much room for rich folks.
They got plenty down there.
They sent him back up,
to claim souls
instead of legal tender.
They say he takes a
a copper penny
for every soul he
claims for the devil.
He gets enough of them,
one day he'll be rich again.
One look at old
Mr. Onselm scared all
them witchy thoughts
right out of me.
Got lit off for home, swearing
the whole way to be good again.
I even took that lucky bone,
threw it as far as I could.
Somehow I never
could be rid of it.
I was so scared when I got home,
I just kept right on running.
Guess that's how I
wound up in the army.
[screams]
I come through it,
without a scratch.
It ain't because
I was born lucky,
smart,
tough
quite the opposite.
It's got power in it.
Just like that old witch said:
It's got the power
to hurt people.
But I never used it.
Not once.
Like I said, I never wished
harm on anybody my entire life.
But not even them
boys over there trying
their damndest
to put holes in me.
You think that means
I ain't really a witch?
[clanking of wood and glass]
You hear something?
[animal sounds]
[chokes]
[gasps]
Ahh!
No.
Ahh!
Ahh! Ma!
Cora.
[heavy panting]
[cries]
I'm sorry, Cora.
You can't see
me like this, Tom.
Shh, shh
You just can't.
Hey, it's alright.
Hey, Cora, it's alright.
Shh, Shh.
[cries]
Enjoying that field work, Joe?
How do you get used to this?
I'm gonna get you by the fire.
Why you done it, Cora? Huh?
I know I was a
shit for brains kid
back then, but you
was the smart one.
After you left, I didn't
know what to do.
I had to go up
with Nate Southby.
We married, but he died.
Our babies died.
I was all alone, Tom.
It's alright. You just
gotta rest now, okay?
- You just gotta rest.
- They're coming for me.
They're out there,
Tom. They want
my soul, and
they gonna have it.
Not while I'm here.
Not while I'm here.
Hey, Shh, shh, shh, shh.
She out there!
She out
Shh, shh.
[cries]
[clacking sound]
Looks like Deadsville to me.
[horse neighs]
Ohh.
[sinister score]
[gasps]
Hey, you're alright.
Who's this now?
This ain't who I come to see.
Well, don't I just
like the look of you.
She never did have much
use for going to church clothes.
There's my Tommy.
She don't look a day older
than the last time I saw her.
The only way to tell
how old a witch is,
you gotta cut her leg
off and count the rings.
You come back to see me, Tommy?
Hell no, I ain't.
You know who I came to see.
Not that pitiful thing
Cora Fisher I hope.
Why, she ain't even much worth
tormenting, but I
do it all the same.
[cries]
How's a girl expected
to pass the time?
I don't know what
you ever saw in
that tragic little
creature, Tommy.
Why she barely
got any soul to steal.
You keep her name out of your
mouth, you wicked old whore!
[giggles]
I'm just playing.
You 'member how
I like to play, Tom?
Don't you?
I know why you're here.
And he knows it, too.
He got,
let's just call it
un-finished business with you.
I know.
I aim to finish it.
[laughs]
Ahh!
- Jesus
- Hey!
Still a wild hare with more
spunk than sense, ain't ya?
Hey that's enough of that.
You tell your master if he wants
to get to these poor folks,
he's gonna have
to go through me.
You? Ha. Mister
he ain't a tiny
bit afraid of you.
And Tommy,
I near forgot.
He asked me to
give you a present.
No!
'fraid he don't look like much.
I've been riding him pretty
hard every night since you left.
Guess he pretty near wore out.
Curse you, Effie Kolb!
Curse you!
This can't be real.
Radioactive, man.
Oh,
Oh, no.
No.
[horse whinnies]
What'd they do to
you, Daddy? What?
[wheezing]
Daddy. Shh, shh, shh. Hey.
Tommy.
That's you, boy?
You, you come home.
You.
Come
I'm sorry, Daddy. I
Cora?
Is Reverend Watts
still in that little
church up on the
side of the mountain?
He is, but you can't
go up there, Tom.
You heard Effie Kolb,
Crooked Man's waiting on ya.
Maybe he is
Maybe that's why I came back.
Thought I'd have it
out with that old devil.
Not before I get this sinner
buried in church ground.
[buzzing]
Oh, my God, Cora!
Oh!
[buzzing]
[heavy panting]
[gasp]
Oh.
- You didn't want me to squash?
- No,
squashing's good.
Totally approve of that.
[song: "Did You" by Morrie
Morrison Orchestra ft Alyce Hauser]
Did you ever
really love me?
Did you ever really care?
Did you ever
really miss me?
[mumbling]
Kiss me,
I wonder if your
heart was ever there
What?
Nothing. Shh..
Hey, try to get some Z's, okay?
Yeah right.
Or did you
really tell a lie
Did you ever really
ever really care?
[kraa]
ever really love me?
[clacking sound and screams]
[screams]
You want me to
take him for a while?
Oh, it's my sins that done
it. He's my burden to carry.
Think of it a little different,
I think sins are just
a part of who we are.
We're born with them
and we'll die with them.
You mean like a Adam
and Eve kind of sin?
I mean sins you can't shake.
Saw 'em off,
and they just grow back.
I'm speaking
metaphorically, of course.
Friendly folks around here.
Salt of the damn earth.
Maybe you can help
me with something, Cora.
I'll try.
I've been studying spells.
What makes them tick?
It's more than just the
words, right? I mean,
an incantation on
its own does nothing.
Well, in my case, I sold my
mortal soul off to the Devil.
So that probably helps
grease the wheels some.
Right.
Besides that?
Needs to touch your heart.
When I do a hex,
I think of the
saddest thing I can.
That seems to make the
magic come on stronger.
Ain't none of my business,
ma'am,
have you been trying
to do witch magic?
It's just research.
You want to be
real careful with that.
Coal mining country.
Yeah,
whole territory's
snake full of tunnels.
If these woods are alive,
tunnels are like veins
underneath the skin.
[kraa]
[clacking]
Ohh.
What is it?
Nothing.
Cora? Cora?
Cora?
Cora!?
- Cora?
- Cora?
Cora!
[anxiety inducing score]
That's interesting.
[bones cracking]
Ahh!
Arg!
Ahh!
Ahh!
Fuck.
Am I dead?
Maybe.
Well,
that's all right.
Everybody knows the devil
can't set foot in no church.
What the hell is this place?
I think you know.
It's your mama, ain't it?
That's news to me.
I've never seen her face.
Yeah, I guess that's her.
She tried to get out of
paying for all them sins.
Now she'll have no
rest from tormenting.
She ain't slept a wink for more
days than I know how to count.
[gasps]
Sins?
They couldn't
have been that bad,
right?
They were many.
Consorted with demons,
flew upon the black goat and
gave herself for the Sabbat,
changed her shape
into that of varmints,
and things unnameable.
[wings flap]
He's here.
Wow.
That's a big fucking bird.
Beast takes many forms,
this be but one.
Sweet
Sarah.
What the fuck?
Please.
Mercy.
If you will forgive me,
let me go up to God.
To God?
No. This is where you belong.
My Lord.
My master.
What more can I give thee?
So much more.
Can you not feel the new
life growing inside you?
It can't be possible?
A dark thing.
Malignant.
It can't be for I am dead.
You sang out to
the deep of night,
and the night things answered.
Now you will give
the world a gift.
A gift.
A son.
[screams]
A beautiful son.
Ow.
Woah, easy there, easy.
I'm fine.
Oh shit, my head feels like
Minnie Minoso
took a swing at it.
Ahh.
He brought you back.
Cora. Cora!
Cora!
Cora.
[gasps]
I used it.
I used the lucky bone.
If I wasn't a witch before
I surely am now.
[somber score]
There you go, Daddy.
It's consecrated ground.
Let's get you inside,
you old sinner.
Reverend.
That you? Tom Ferrell?
How'd you know, Reverend?
She told me.
She?
There's a girl here.
Come in a couple of minutes
before you fellas.
Bold as brass.
You don't see her?
Well,
maybe she a ghost.
Is it Cora Fisher?
Cora Fisher?
Yep.
Remember her when
she was just a little tadpole.
Devil might have got a body,
but he didn't get her soul.
It's y'daddy, ain't it?
Figured he ought to be
buried in proper church ground.
So he shall.
All right, Daddy.
But I think you got
another purpose for
being up here on the
Hurricane, don't you?
Yes, sir.
We, uh,
we aim to go up that hill.
You're going to his house?
Now, why would any damn fool
want to do a
thing like that for?
My daddy's dead.
Cora
You're dead.
I'm sorry, girl.
Maybe all that's left to do
is surrender myself to him.
Tell him, take my body,
take my soul,
take your goddamn penny.
Just so long as there's no
more killing on my conscience.
After all, a deal's
a deal, ain't it?
That's ridiculous.
You were just a kid.
A deal with a demonic
entity? How can that
possibly be binding?
Oh, it be binding.
Hellboy.
Yeah, it's kind of binding.
Look, there may be
some wiggle room.
It's what I'm here for.
To renegotiate.
Negotiate, my ass.
Well,
he do seem like
a pretty persuasive
fella, Reverend, don't he?
Men's pride and
folly, all that is.
Well, if you're
gonna go, best do
it when the sun's
up in the sky.
His power's strongest
when it's dark.
Y'all stay here tonight.
We got to
boogie-woogie, preach.
Looks like we still
have some daylight left.
You sure about that?
[sinister score]
That, that's, no, wait,
that's not possible.
no, the Earth,
the Earth doesn't
spin. It, it, that's
not how it works.
[laughs]
We on his time
up in the Hurricane.
[clacking]
[psychotic echoing chants]
We've got company.
A lot of witches
around these parts.
Always have been.
Used to be plenty
of regular folks, too.
Nowadays, mostly just witches.
Haha! Hallelujah.
And I will lead the blind
by a way they know not.
And I will make the
darkness light for them.
And the crooked
things straight.
Oneiros und Ntt
Schlie en Sie ihre Augen
[whispers]
Needs to touch your heart.
When I do a hex.
I think of the
saddest thing I can.
Let not your
hearts be troubled.
Them witches. Can't set
foot on this holy ground.
And that black magic.
Ain't no good here.
I guess we'll find
out soon enough.
You doubt the power
of prayers, son?
I just like to have
some excessively
high-caliber ammo on hand.
Just in case.
Oh! Sheee. Ha!
Tommy
Shhh!
Tommy
I know you can
hear me in there.
Ain't you had enough
trouble for one day?
[moan] It ain't
even really begun.
All your friends in
that church with you,
they all gonna die.
All on your account.
That's why you gotta
come out and face him.
[giggles]
[knock]
[knock]
[knock]
[screeching]
Elvis's ass don't
shake this hard.
Reverend, the coal mines,
do they run under this church?
Oh, they run everywhere.
A coal mine collapsed
about 30 years ago.
Last time the ground
shook like this.
100 men killed.
Buried alive.
Great place to build
a church, huh, Joe?
Where's Tom?
[laughs]
I don't see what's
so godforsaken funny.
[clacking]
[chants]
[hellish whispers]
Little Tom Ferrell,
come back to see me.
Bring me my lucky bone.
I come to collect
it, Tom Ferrell.
Yeah and I'm
gonna give it to you.
You gotta make me one promise.
No harm comes to
those good folks in there.
But it was you who
put them in harms way,
not I.
All right, then.
All right.
[chants]
I don't think so.
See, I don't like this deal.
You want it too bad,
and that makes me
not want you to have it.
Go on inside, Tom.
Go.
Well, ain't you a
pug-ugly son of a bitch?
Pot calling the
kettle black here, but
Jesus H.
[chants]
Oh, yeah, that's right.
The nympho-broad in the tree
mentioned you
weren't afraid of me.
Well guess what? I'm
not afraid of you either.
So why don't you turn around,
take your crooked
ass out of here,
and take those dizzy
bitches with you.
You had a different aspect
when you watched
your mother burn.
What the hell you say, Gumby?
Be gone from this church,
Mr. Onselm. You be gone now.
You saw how she is.
This sorrowful thing.
She suffers so.
But I have it in my
power to mollify her pain.
Let her feathered
soul take wing.
Really?
You would do that?
Yeah.
Something small
in return is all I ask.
That you twist off the head
of that little Tom Ferrell.
and bring it hither.
We're just
renegotiating.
I'm sure we can see eye to eye.
Why?
You got witch
blood in you, friend.
You're more like me
than you are like them.
Come on, snake, let's rattle.
[buzzing]
[buzzing intensifies]
Ohh!
[laughs]
Help him.
Oh, come on!
Oh! He's kilt.
He's kilt for sure.
Arg! I ain't kilt.
You can't hide in
there forever, Tommy.
Crooked Man gonna
wear you out, boy.
Oh, you shut your cursed mouth.
He gonna heap sorrows
on you a hundred
times worse than
what you drunken
daddy ever got.
You get out of my skull, you
witch! Witch! Get
out of my skull!
Ahh!
Joe,
I need you.
Reverend.
Now we both know,
Reverend, a deal's a deal.
Here's what I'll do.
I'll buy that lucky
bone from you.
Ain't nothing in here for
sale to you, Mr. Onselm.
Do it.
Okay.
Urmm! Ahh!
Come on, Joe, you
gotta pull harder.
- Come on!
- Ahh!
Uhh, I know you got no
use for legal tender, old man.
But what about time?
What do you give for
ten years of it?
What are you
doing to me, Satan?
How about
twenty?
Fix up those
eyes of yours
while we're at it.
Come on!
No, sir! I come fairly by
my years and my afflictions,
and I don't want nothing else.
[clacking]
Abby Riley done
poisoned two husbands.
How'd she get planted
in a church yard?
So many sinners in
this consecrated ground.
[chants]
Flesh rots, but
the sin goes on.
[chants]
Oh shit.
Okay, are you sure
you're okay? Because--
You want to stick
your finger in?
No I do not.
- You can't keep bleeding
like this - I'll be fine.
- No, no, you will not
be fine - Bobbie Jo.
Part of the job.
Okay? I can't wait to get my
hands on that Howdy Doody fuck.
Where the hits just
keep on coming.
He looks a little
different, doesn't he?
Mm-hmm.
You always did like them pretty
girls, didn't you, Reverend?
I could feel your eyes on me
giving them Sunday sermons.
You go lay back down, Abigail.
This ain't your world no more.
Kiss me, Father.
Kiss me like you
always wanted to.
Kiss this.
[chants]
What are you doing?
Callie Hicks, fornicator.
Fornicator!
Abel Jacobs.
Gambler.
Josie Ward.
Philanderer.
Manly Langrishe.
Lying drunk.
Lying drunk!
Nathan Green.
Murderer.
Murderer.
Like ducks at the county fair.
Flora Sue Baker.
Cheatin' whore.
Cheatin' whore.
Ada Calder.
Child killer.
Child killer.
[indistinct chants and
hysterical laughter]
They were dead, and buried.
Sins were forgiven.
Forgiven don't mean forgotten.
Wyatt Ferrell.
Drunken old fool.
Ha ha ha.
Agsk
Ugh!
What is this?
No, wait, wait.
Fuck.
Sorry Daddy.
Lord, I can't look
on this no more.
Take my eyes away.
And I don't want no
gifts from the devil.
Thank you, Lord.
Tom Ferrell!
Give me that old cat bone!
I was never gonna
use it, Reverend.
You watch now. I
ain't no perfect man.
None of us is.
I got a shadow in my
heart like anyone else.
But you gonna see
that light, Tom Ferrell.
You gonna let it blaze
bright inside of you.
Just like that light
be blazing in me.
I'm all fired up.
I'm gonna bust
that evil wide open.
I'm gonna squeeze it.
I'm gonna squeeze
the Holy Spirit
into this vile unlucky bone!
I can feel it.
Look at it blaze, Tom Ferrell.
Look at it!
Every grave in this yards
been dug with this shovel.
If it ain't full of God
then nothing is.
Thy rod and thy staff!
They comfort me.
That'll work.
Yep.
[coughs]
[clacking]
[caw]
He's going home.
Ah-ah. Hellboy, no.
We call this in
and come back with
the whole team from the bureau.
Better to finish
this. He's hurt.
He's weak.
Joe, you're done.
Staying back here
with the Reverend.
No.
We don't come back
you keep going down
that mountain and you
don't stop until you
find a telephone.
Don't ever come back here.
What?
Keep the shovel.
[song: "Enchanted
Sea" by The Bentleys]
It's been called that
since I can remember.
A long time back
a hurricane blew
down a mess of
trees on this mountain.
They never grew back.
No one still alive
remembers it.
Might have been a thousand
years ago for all I know.
And hell, maybe it
wasn't no hurricane at all.
How's that?
Well,
the Indians say it's
always been bad.
They say there's
ghosts and critters
up here older than the flood.
Scarce animals.
Shonokins. Mountain spirits.
Here me out,
I might be just talking
out of my ass here, but
might be looking at
a dimensional rifting.
Lovecraft type scenario.
The old gods forcing their
way into our world type thing.
I don't know nothing
about that, but
it's a queer, bad feeling
place, that's for sure.
Gonna need a new shovel.
Something in these hills.
Something haunted.
Evil.
In the trees.
In the dirt.
Tom said these hills
were like a living thing.
Come again?
He said the old mines were
like its circulatory system.
Its veins running underground.
The Crooked Man, I think,
I think he draws power from it.
You got something
on your mind, girl?
Something I don't like.
Maybe if we disrupt the
power source, we can hurt him.
What?
I'm talking about sabotage.
If this were a war
and those tunnels
were supply lines,
we'd plant dynamite.
You gonna dynamite that mine?
No.
Maybe something better.
A spell.
Girl,
You outta your
mother fucking mind.
I didn't know if it was real,
or if it was just a story they
tell little chaps to scare them.
You ready?
They told me them stories too.
Could use a woman's touch.
[kraa]
They go down into them mines.
Make me understand
why they built a church
on top of a very
convenient access
to a collapsed coal mine?
Explain it to me
like I'm a little
a little slow.
Wha-
S'ppose they thought it
was some kind of doorway
'tween this world
and the other.
They reckon they'd
drop a church on top.
Consecrate the soil.
Block the doorway.
Maybe not such a swell idea.
Worked all right
up until today.
It's dark down there.
Dark as the devil's asshole.
If we're going
I'm bringing this along.
Maybe it got a
bit of holy left in it.
We?
- No, Reverend, I
- Down there,
I ain't much more
blind than you is, girl.
[baby cries]
[baby screams]
I always figured rich folks had
them some real fine soirees.
Mm-hmm.
Real fine.
All right.
[baby whimpers]
Tom!
Bet you wishing
your friend was here.
Yeah, he's not
afraid of anything.
Oh, I know somethin' afraid of:
he afraid to tell you how
he really feels about you.
Tom?
Tom.
Ahh!
Something's coming.
[laughter]
Ahh!
Run, girl!
Hurry up! This way, this way!
And he shall eat the
flesh of your sons,
and the flesh of your daughters
shall he eat.
Destroy them in wrath.
Destroy them
that they may be no more.
Magic ain't like
a bullet, girl.
You just can't
pull the trigger.
Some things you can't
understand by thinking.
It comes from the
spirits, not the meat!
Ahh!
Ahh!
Oh, crap.
Ahh!
[baby toy sounds]
When's the last time you felt
the touch of a woman, Tommy?
Have all these years
been so lonesome?
Did you sit up and
dream about me?
I know it, I bet
you never stopped
thinking about the
way I touched you.
You got something
hard for me, Tommy?
Yeah, I do.
Ahh!
[gasps]
I know well thou are my son.
Thine eyes,
thine eyes attest to it.
Let's not pretend this is
some beautiful moment.
I don't care about you.
You never gave a damn about me.
Thou should look upon
me and say these things?
I should let you burn!
I gotta get you out of here.
No, my sweet child.
I can't be saved.
This burning be my fate.
For them many sins I done,
all us witches end up the same.
[panting]
[clacking]
[panting]
There's only one
way to end this pain.
Destroy me, my son.
No.
No, I can't do that. You
can't ask me to do that.
For thy scorn.
For thy wrath.
Thou were right to hate me.
I hated myself!
Myself!
This goddam monster you made!
Oneiros und Ntt, beuhrt
die Gedanken meiner Feinde.
Schlie en Sie ihre Augen und
fangen sie bis zum nachsten
Sonnenaufgang in Traaumen ein.
Oneiros und Ntt,
beuhrt die Gedanken
chlie en Sie ihre Augen und
fangen sie bis zum nachsten
Oneiros und Ntt,
beuhrt die Gedanken
Sie ihre Augen
Let me be as a dream.
Forgotten,
Dust without meaning.
Oneiros und Ntt, beuhrt
die Gedanken meiner Feinde.
Schlie en Sie ihre Augen und
fangen sie bis zum nachsten
There's gotta be another way.
There is none.
Oneiros und Ntt, beuhrt
die Gedanken meiner Feinde.
Schlie en Sie ihre Augen und
fangen sie bis zum nachsten
Sonnenaufgang in Traaumen ein
This agony, I can't
bare it any longer.
- Please!
- No!
Ahh!!
Ahh!!
You alright, big fella?
Some kind of booby trap.
A spell.
I almost
something broke it.
[crows]
[clacking]
It smells like death,
and bird shit.
Wait here.
[demonic sounds]
[growl]
Oh crap.
No, no, no, no.
No, no.
Please, please, fuck!
[loud thump]
[breaking glass]
[demonic squeal]
Ahhh!
Gah! Ahh!
Ugh.
Egh! Guh!
Oh! Ahh!
Uah!
[scream]
[buzzing]
Better you'd given me that boy's
head when you had the offer.
That's twice you might have
saved your fork-tongued mother.
Well, but you'll be by
her side soon enough,
suckling that
black teat in hell.
You must die in this house
to feed the earth beneath,
to feed these hills,
these ancient
stones that do live.
Hey there, devil,
I got something for you.
That's for Cora Fisher.
You go on and choke on it,
son of a bitch.
[vomiting sounds]
[coins falling on the floor]
Look at this devil,
fools himself into
thinking he's a man.
Your road ends in
the dark like mine.
And this,
witch,
No I ain't.
You'll burn, both of ya.
Like Cora Fisher burns.
Like your witch mother burns.
That's all for you.
[gun shot]
It's all souls, ain't it?
[coins drop]
Look at it.
You think that one's mine?
I don't know.
Guess you'll find out someday.
Like all of us.
You know what I think, Tom?
I think that so-called
lucky bone of yours,
I think it's just a cat bone.
All this time you thought
it held the power, but
I think the power was in you.
He was afraid of you.
He was right to be.
[cries]
[song: "Sinner You'd Better Get
Ready" by The Louvin Brothers]
Oh sinner you
better get ready
The time's a comin'
when the sinner must die
Oh God gave Noah
Ha, I've woke up to worse.
All of a sudden I'm old.
Tommy
I don't know how to be old.
I knew I held on to this
old bridle for a reason.
singing Halleluya,
sinner you bet get ready
The time's a comin'
when the sinner must die
All us witches end up the same.
Joe.
Joe!
Joe!
Arrgh!
Bobbie Jo,
- Hey, wake up. Joe, wake up!
- [cough]
Come on. Come on.
Get up.
You went inside the tunnels.
Unbelievable.
You're supposed
to be the smart one.
Yeah, you're telling me.
Oh, look
I got the cargo back.
Nice field work, right?
Besides, I wasn't
down there by myself.
I was with the
Reverend the whole time.
Never would have gotten
out of there without him.
[somber score]
I can't wait for the 60s.
- 60s?
- Yeah.
This ain't my
decade, Bobbie Jo.
I feel good times are coming.
I think so, too.
I ain't gonna miss
this place much.
Me neither.
Can't wait to get home
and just document all this.
That Tom Ferrell's
not a bad egg.
Lucky you came
along when you did.
He just needed a
little push, that's all.
[radio]
Hey!
Not afraid of anything,
are you, big guy?
Yeah, well, there's an upside
to looking like this, Joe.
You see this face
in the mirror long
enough the monsters
don't look too bad.
Yeah, yeah.
I know something
you're afraid of, though.
There you are.
[song: "Trouble in Mind"
by Cowboy Roy Brown]
Trouble in mind,
I'm blue, yeah
I won't be blue
always, Bob will
Cause that sun
is gonna shine
in my back door someday
Hope soon and aha boy
Trouble in mind is blue
I just see me blockade June
When you see me laughin'
I'm laughin' just
to keep from cryin'
Gotta let me
Trouble in mind, I'm blue
And I won't be
blue all way, why?
Because sun's gonna shine
in my back door some day
Going down to the river
And I'm going to take my
rockin' chair what
you gonna do?
And if the blues take me I'm
gonna rock away from here
[ghostly clacking]