Here We Are (2019) Movie Script
1
(video glitching)
(group chattering and singing)
(typewriter clacking)
(upbeat folk music)
I'm empty like my refrigerator
I'm empty like my head
I'm empty like a tow-truck
driver
I'm empty like my bed
I'm not full like my family
I'm not full like my friends
I'm not full like my calendar
It has days and days
I've never seen a city
With wooden horses
blocking the streets
(radio tuning)
- [Woman] A plane crashed
in Des Moines Iowa.
- [Man] Healthcare is
hiring, that means jobs!
(radio tuning)
(light guitar music)
(sighing)
(mariachi music)
-[Waitress] Hola, cmo estn?
-[Andy] Bueno.
- [Waitress] Bien?
- [Andy] Yes.
She's doing a thing.
Okay, and I'll have the
pachuga empanalizadas.
- [Waitress] Okay.
Flour or corn tortillas?
- [Andy] Uh, flour.
- [Waitress] Chips and salsa?
- [Andy] S.
- [Andy] Gracias.
(mariachi music plays louder)
(dog barking)
(rap music)
- Don't drop the ball on this
thing,
because if it is what I think
it is, it's gonna set us up.
Sweet, new U-Line.
We need more shelvage
in the warehouse, stat.
(sighing)
How was it?
- [Andy] Awesome.
- 2,300 more, with interest.
- Yup.
- [Ben] You ever follow up
with that trampoline guy?
- [Josh] Yeah.
- [Ben] All right, well don't
let that get away from us.
Could be a good one.
- Hey, Nana wrote us, man.
- Oh yeah? How's she doin'?
- My dear boys, I hope all is
going well with your lives.
I would say you're moving right
along
and in the right directions.
Life moves on, except now
it is without our Phillip.
Last Saturday night he
went out to clean a pool,
had a massive heart attack, and
fell in.
He never wanted to retire.
He wanted to die a working man.
Phil got his wish.
We all should be so blessed.
Well dear boys, get yourselves
a hot dog or something,
eat it thinking of me and
I will feel your thanks.
Love and hugs, Nana.
- Uncle Phil died?
- [Josh] He fell in a pool?
- He was a pool cleaner.
- I'll be able to like
3D print myself a new one
[laughing]
in like 3 years.
- [Travis] I don't know if
you'd want that, dude.
I couldn't live without my dick.
- I mean maybe, but being brain
dead--
- Hold on, ask Andy.
- Andy, would you rather have a
lobotomy
or get your dick cut off?
- A lobotomy?
- [Travis] See? That's what I
said.
- [Man] But y'all wouldn't
know what to do with it.
- You don't know what
to do with it anyways.
Can I bum a smoke?
(phone ringing)
- [Andy] Um, yeah.
- Yeah!
- Hello.
Yes.
Yes, ma'am.
I will be there ready to go.
- Say God bless.
- Okay.
Okay, God bless.
- What the hell was that, dude?
- That was the blood
bank telling me I need
to eat a full meal before
my appointment on Tuesday.
- Is it for good or for money?
- For money.
- [Andy] How much?
- Like 30 bucks.
We're mostly doing it to
find out our blood type.
Need the blood type to
go to the sperm bank.
- [Andy] How much is that?
- Like $200 a sploosh.
- Hey, that's long money, man.
- [Both] Yeah!
- You guys have the same blood
type 'cause you're twins?
- Same egg, bro.
- You guys have the same penis?
- [Both] Yes.
- [Man] Hey, did you ever get
that pizza
you were wanting to get, man?
- That was yesterday, man.
- Oh yeah.
Do you still want to get a pizza
though?
- [Brother] I could get a pizza.
- Do you guys want to get a
pizza?
- Nah, I already had pizza
today.
- I don't have money for pizza
today, man.
- I think we're gonna go
get a pizza at Pizza Land.
- [Both] Laters.
- [Travis] See ya, fellas.
- [Andy] Later.
- So how was it, dude?
- Miguel got paint on
Esteban's favorite CD
and then they blamed it on me.
I tried to stay out of it
and I think they think
I'm a shitty painter.
- Are you?
- I'm all right.
- What did you do all day?
- Man, I hung around here,
I took down a few wasps
nests, I ate lunch, pizza.
I did some writing, I
beat off, that's about it.
- Yeah, what'd you do last
night?
- Man, I went to see about this
chick.
- [Andy] Which one?
- The one I met at the gas
station.
- [Andy] How was that?
- Weird.
I think I'm just done with this
whole tear I've been on now.
- Yeah?
- And I think I'm just done
blowing loads in general too.
Maybe like, the emergency ejac
for like maintenance purposes
or to make myself pass out.
- Yeah.
- I gotta keep that shit in,
man.
It's good for my work.
- All right.
- Yeah, well.
I'm gonna go to the bar.
You want to go?
- I got 20 bucks.
- [Travis] Nice.
Should we ask your brother?
- No.
(light banjo music)
No.
- [Travis] All right!
- Let's go!
-Man, if I could do it all over
again,
I think I'd be an OBGYN.
- Why?
- Just think about it, dude.
- Like that's an actual job
and you're bringing life
into this world every day.
You're like a safecracker.
- I mean, you could still do
that.
- Nah, it's too late.
(dogs barking)
- Please don't get a dog.
- Why?
- Please. You don't need one.
- Yes I do.
They'll love me unconditionally.
It won't put earplugs in its
ears, dude.
- Yeah, but you can't
take care of yourself.
How are you going to take care
of a dog?
- Oh, good one.
- I'm just saying.
Who are these people in our
spot?
- Hey baby!
How are ya?
(sighing deeply)
I don't think we've met.
- Travis.
- Remy.
Come, come.
This is Rose and...Marlo!
- Rose and Marlo, hello.
I've never seen you girls
before.
You guys come here a lot?
We live up the street.
- [Both] Us too!
- [Travis] Awesome,
cheers to being neighbors.
- [Remy] So how you been, man?
What you been up to?
- Not much man, just trying
to figure it all out.
- I hear that.
- [Rose] So what do you do?
- I'm a writer.
- No shit.
Like what do you write?
- You know, poetry, short
stories,
I'm also working on a novel.
- [Rose] No shit!
- What are you doing for money?
- I'm just trying to get it
together.
Trying to look for work
actually.
Hey, is that fence dude looking
for people because I could--
- No, no, but I did just get out
of this medical research
facility for the last nine days.
Remember how broke I was?
Now I'm flush.
- How much did you make?
- Five grand.
- What?
- Yeah, Medico baby.
- How do you do it?
- Basically, you have to
be like a lab rat.
You take pills, get your blood
drawn,
just sit in this facility
for days and days.
- But you just--
- Just show up.
Every morning, 10 a.m.
They do introductions.
- Wow, damn.
- [Remy] You know anybody
renting a room?
- Uh, no.
I don't think so.
- I'm sleeping around right now,
I just need to find something
before I take off again.
- Well, I got the RV, man.
- I got money.
- It's gonna be hot.
- I got a fan.
- All right, let me ask my
brother.
- My man.
- I think America really hasn't
hit
on it right yet, you know?
- Totally.
- And I plan on doing it right,
so,
it's cool, I'm excited to do it.
- Cheers to your novel.
- [Travis] Yeah, thanks.
- Well ladies, you ready
to get out of here?
- We're gonna hit the bathroom.
- Okay.
- [Marlo] Bye guys, nice to meet
you.
- Bye.
See you around the neighborhood.
- [Rose] Yeah, I'll check out
your blog.
- Yeah, do please, definitely.
- Are you still dating, um,
what's her name?
- Don't worry about it.
- Easy baby, easy.
Let me know about that camper.
- All right.
- What the hell was that guy?
- That's Remy.
- Remy?
He seemed pretty cool.
- It's just short for Jeremy
dude.
- Seemed pretty cool to me.
She's still got half a beer,
dude.
(footsteps approaching)
- Is that guy really gonna live
in here?
- [Andy] Maybe, man.
- Who is this guy?
I gotta know about this guy.
- People say he was raised by
gypsies
in Eastern Europe then they left
him
and he taught himself how to
read.
- What?
- Yeah, it's bullshit, man.
- What's he do?
- A whole lot a nothin,
like everybody else, man.
- My kind of dude.
- I gotta get the fuck outta
here dude.
- Yeah? Well where you gonna go?
- [Andy] Anywhere.
I left home so I wouldn't
become a townie there,
I'm not gonna become one here.
No offense.
Ya know, I gotta keep going.
- Yeah, it's the velvet
coffin thing, I get it.
- Yeah, you know it's
a nice place to live,
but I ain't trying to die here.
I'm trying to die a lot farther
away than here, you know?
- Well alright - what are you
gonna do, man?
- I'm gonna fix this RV up and
go,
like me and Haley have been
saying.
She's got money saved up for gas
and once I get this thing going,
and I'm gonna, we're out of
here.
- Well what are we gonna do
tonight, man?
Are we going to that show or
what?
- Yeah.
- 'Cause I don't know
if I can drive, dude.
- [Andy] What time is it?
- I don't know.
- [Andy] You wanna take the
train?
- That'll be weird, let's do it.
(thunder rumbling)
(light folk music)
You're gonna have to
lose what you have
To get what you want
Wouldn't it be nice
To have it both ways?
But if you're gonna leave
You know you can't stay
If you take the heart out
Carve it in four
Leave three quarters in Texas
- She really is good at that!
- What?
- She's really good at that!
- I know!
It's kinda funny to watch, huh?
- [Travis] What?
- It's funny, to watch it
- [Travis] What?
Someone has to die
to make this count
Put me in a hole
I won't make a sound
(crowd cheering)
(punk music)
Stand up straight and run
along
You're just another
It's not needed
(phone vibrating)
- I really like what you guys
do,
I think it's pretty awesome.
You got your own styles and
everything.
- They can't really talk man.
They're doing this simulation
thing.
and some are actually deaf too.
(both laughing)
You want another beer, man?
- Yeah, sure.
- Hey, does anyone want a beer?
Eight.
Yeah.
(girl laughing)
Thanks, man.
- Alright, man.
Stupid car.
- [Travis] See ya later!
- You comin' in?
We could just go to bed.
- [Travis] That party fucking
sucked, man.
- [Andy] Yup.
- And this Trevor guy,
Jesus, what the fuck?
Fuck him!
- What?
- Did you not, dude, he's
totally
trying to steal your girl.
- No, no, that's how
they communicate, man.
They're a very touchy-feely
people.
It's part of the process.
- Did you not just see all that?
- He's deaf, dude.
- Yeah well, he's really good
looking.
- So?
- And she's like really
into the deaf thing.
- I know.
- [Travis] She's like, all about
it.
- You just said that!
- What are we gonna do?
- About what?
- I'm broke.
- [Andy] You'll be all right.
- No, and the government's not
giving me
any more money until I start
paying back
all these student loans.
- Well, didn't you say
that if you didn't finish
that last credit you
wouldn't have to graduate?
- Yeah, fuck it.
I just won't graduate.
- But doesn't the debt just
keep getting bigger and bigger?
- And how would I go to grad
school?
- You think Fitzgerald
went to grad school?
- It's either that or war.
(coughing)
- It's kicked!
- Ah, dude.
(gagging)
- [Andy] Oh, fuck.
- Oh, there's a hit left in
this, man.
(Travis coughing)
- [Andy] What the fuck am I
gonna do?
- [Travis] About what, man?
- I got the school debt
and I gotta pay Ben back like
two grand.
I fuckin' hate living
here with that over me
and him fucking yapping and
shit, man.
- You should just be writing.
You should be focusing on that.
You should just write every day.
- Yeah.
- You just don't do it anymore.
Your short stories are good.
Your poems are good, man.
- [Andy] What? Which ones?
- Like that one, man, about
the lawyers that go to lunch.
- Three Lawyers at Lunch.
- Yeah!
- Yeah, I wrote that shit.
- Yeah, it's really good.
And the one about the town
that smells like a bathroom
and everyone has to drive
through it real fast--
- The Town of a Thousand Urinal
Cakes.
- Yeah, you're really good.
You just don't do it anymore.
- I'm just worried about
money right now, all right?
- What about the poetry contest,
man?
That's 15 grand.
- Yeah, well I haven't
heard back from them.
Plus that shit goes to
like MFA shitheads in Iowa
or some old lady in New England.
People like you and I don't
win that kind of thing man.
- What about the Census thing,
man?
That's 18 bucks an
hour - that's good money.
- Yeah, but that's once every
ten years.
- Hey, weren't you gonna be a
notary?
Like I'll do it too, man.
We could put a sign on
the front of the house.
Take this thing, go mobile!
Go town to town signing things,
man.
- You need to know people.
- I'm pretty sure you don't.
I'm pretty sure you just go
online--
- I'm saying you need to know
people
who need shit notarized.
Do you?
- No.
- [Andy] Me neither.
(sighing)
- You could do that thing Remy
did.
Be a hamster on a wheel, make
some cash.
- Yeah, maybe I will.
- Yeah, go down there tomorrow.
- Yeah, and then Remy
could rent this place out
or my room for like $250,
that's good money man.
- Yeah dude, do it.
- Yeah, I will.
- So go.
- Well, yeah.
Will you give me a ride?
- [Travis] Of course.
Maybe I'll do it too.
- Alright.
- Probably get a lot of writing
done.
- Probably.
- Nah man, I'm gonna stick
around here.
I'm really finally getting
to it around here, you know?
Someday we'll be so rich, we'll
never die.
- Yeah, well.
(light country music)
- Dude, come on!
- What?
What?!
I'm sleeping!
- We gotta go!
- Go where?
What the hell is wrong with you?
- To Medico, dude.
I'm late.
- Oh, gross, dude.
- What? It's my snooze booze.
- We gotta go to the place!
- Oh yeah.
- I'll just figure it all out.
(sighing)
(percussive trumpet music)
- Hey, they got Waffle House up
here, man.
- [Andy] This is where you turn
in.
- Right here?
- Yeah.
How do we get in here?
- [Travis] I don't know.
- Stop, there's a hole.
Stop, stop, stop!
I'm getting out.
- Hey, I'll be at that Waffle
House!
- I'm here for the initiation.
- We've already started
and we don't let anyone
in once we've begun.
- I'm only four minutes--
- Yeah, no latecomers.
It's our policy, guy.
(sighing)
- [Receptionist] You can
come on back tomorrow.
We'll get you in if all the
spots aren't filled up, okay?
- Well is there a chance?
- There's a chance.
Some people don't pass the
health test.
- And some are late.
- [Receptionist] Here, take this
info.
- Thanks.
(tejano music)
- [Misty] Fuck!
(engine sputtering)
Come on!
Fuck!
- You need some help?
- What?
- Do you need help?
- Do you know how to fix cars?
- No, not really.
- Then why would I need your
help?
(engine starting)
Ugh.
(horn honking)
- [Andy] I see you.
(light rock music)
(phone vibrating)
Hold me by the hand
Let me walk with you out in
the field
Talk about what we think
What we see, what we believe
Can it be
Beautiful and something sweet?
Green leaves growing on a tree
Blue skies and perfect nights
Just a little bit
Just enough to feel
Walk around the park
A night under the moon
A little piece of peace
- [Receptionist] You just
made it, fill this out.
(light rock music)
(sighing)
(knocking on door)
- Come in.
- Hey man, I gotta talk to you.
- Yeah? About what?
- Eh...it's a job.
(phone vibrating)
- A job?
Hang on.
Hello?
Yeah, $225.
He didn't even look under
it, fucking jerkoff.
What about that other thing?
All right, that's good, sounds
promising.
Listen, let me go, I got
my brother over here.
He's about to lay some shit on
me again,
I can see it coming.
Goodnight.
- We got this big deal going
down tomorrow
with these coolers, knockoff
Yetis.
Could be a good hit.
So, a job.
What kind of job?
It better not be a weed farm
thing again, I swear to God.
- It's not, it's um, in
pharmaceuticals, so--
- Pharmaceuticals?
Alright.
Well hey, walk with me, talk
with me.
- I only got one.
- It's all right.
- So what is it?
- Well, it pays $4,500
for like a week of work.
- Doing what?
- I don't know, like testing
pills
and, I don't know, giving blood
and shit--
- Whoa...I heard about this,
man,
you're not doing that.
- Why?
- Because, that's like we
gave this shit to rats,
now we're giving it to
humans kind of shit.
You don't want to do that.
- Yeah, I do!
And that dude Remy has
done it a bunch, man.
- I'm doing it. Tomorrow.
And I'm gonna pay you back!
- Not happening.
You're selling me the RV for 15
and giving me six, call it a
day.
- I'm not selling you the
fucking RV, Ben.
- It doesn't even run!
- Yes it does!
- It doesn't.
- It will!
Same difference, all right.
- "Same difference, all right!"
- Fuck you, man.
- It doesn't run.
- I have to put in a new
carburetor and fix the battery.
- Yeah, and I gotta do it for
you.
- Oh, wow!
Who cares!
- All right, you sell
me the RV for two grand,
I erase your debt, it's a sick
deal.
I sell it to a guy on a deer
lease,
or I rent it to you, you live
back there.
- [Andy] No!
No fucking way!
- Why not?
- It's the only way I'm gonna
get the fuck
out of here and onto everything
else
I'm ever supposed to do!
- I'd love to know what you've
got to do.
What you think you got to do out
there.
I give you a sweet place to
live for 385 bucks a month,
all bills paid, okay?
I let you keep your little
camper back there on the land,
I don't charge you for it,
you're my brother, it's fine.
You eat my food, all the
time, I know you do it,
I buy more because of
you, you little bastard.
I keep fucking toiletries for
you.
You and your little
buddy come in at night,
you take my weed, smoke it.
I know you do it, you think
I don't notice, I notice!
- Yeah, I'm sure you do.
- What does that mean?
What, like I'm a bad guy?
I love that.
I'm the bad guy!
- You're not a bad guy.
- That's just human beings, man.
You do, you do, you do
and what do they do?
They resent you.
- I'm just sick of owing
you this fucking money, man.
- What do you want, man?
You want to be like your
little buddy back there,
collecting unemployment for
being a waiter for two years?
- No, that's not what I want.
- Dad will slap the shit out of
you.
- That's not what I want.
- [Ben] I hope not, man.
I didn't set you up here for
that.
- And I'm not lazy.
That's why I'm going to this
place.
Alright, so I can pay you back
and finally get going so
I can figure my shit out.
(door opening)
- Beer?
- I can't.
- [Travis] Why not?
- I gotta go in tomorrow
and they said no food or drink
beforehand.
- [Travis] Cha-ching,
cha-ching, cha-ching, cha-ching!
- The mediocrity with you is so
thick.
it...it baffles me.
- [Travis] You don't mean that,
dude.
- Also, that Remy dude is
gonna stay here while I'm gone.
- What? For how much?
- $250 to stay in the
RV - that's strong money, man.
- Make it $325, he can stay in
here.
- Alright.
- What? I was gonna try and stay
in the house.
- You're an outside guy, man.
(driving music)
(harmonica plays)
You're gonna die in this room
In your twin-size coffin tomb
When all your friends have
bailed out
- [Ben] What is this place?
Is it governmental?
- [Andy] Probably.
- [Ben] If it sucks or
people are fucking with you
or trying to fuck you,
you're leaving, okay?
- Okay.
- I'm serious.
- Alright!
(Ben sighing)
- Later.
- Later.
(sighing)
- Outpatient!
Michael Schlosser.
- Hey, baby.
- What are you doing here?
- [Remy] My follow-up
blood draw and my check
- [Andy] Nice.
- Yeah, that's that long money.
What are you doing here?
- Checking in.
- Want me to show you around?
- Are you allowed?
- They love me in here.
Denise, I'm gonna give
my little friend here
the nickel tour.
- All right, baby.
- All right, come on!
(light, curious, disembodied
music)
- This is the cafeteria.
Last time, they served this like
barbecue rib sandwich thing
three nights in a row.
People were fucking pissed.
- This is the movie room.
They play some pretty
decent stuff sometimes,
usually comedies.
Nothing too exciting.
- You can't watch any porn but
it's better than nothing.
This last time, there was
a guy studying for the GRE.
He was taking exams the entire
time.
He was pretty cool.
- I suggest you get a top bunk.
People fart a lot in
here, especially at night.
I think it's like the meds and
shit.
They don't like you doing
too much physical activity,
but I like to do some push-ups
and sit-ups just to keep it all
together.
Watch your shit.
Some of these dudes are
pre-release from prison,
some of these dudes are
straight up veterans,
they've been doing this shit
since 'Nam,
like for the government.
You're not trying to make
any friends in here, man.
It's pretty much bottom
of the barrel here.
(breathing deeply)
But you'll be fine!
Come on.
- And this is the day room slash
rec room,
you can hang out and play games
and shit.
There's this pool table, but
it's
kinda fucked and the sticks
suck.
But...
this, this is the window.
It's good to get your sun.
- [Andy] Can you go outside at
all?
Ever?
- [Remy] No.
Never.
(tone chiming)
And that, that is the tone of
time.
That is your God.
It's probably your first blood
draw, we should see about it.
Can't be late.
Don't ever be late.
- [Man] Hey, what's for lunch?
- [2nd Man] Yeah, when
are we eating, dammit?
I'm starving!
- This is it, man.
I'm outta here.
- Thanks, man.
- Good luck, baby.
Hey remember, just do your own
time.
(tone chiming)
- Oooh.
- You okay?
- [Nurse] One more.
- Treetop.
- Andy.
- [Chester] Is that fish?
I can't eat fish.
- Why not?
- 'Cause they're gross.
I don't want to eat a fish, man.
- You tellin me you're not gonna
eat that?
- No, no way.
- Let me get that then.
- Yeah.
- All right.
- Thank you.
(humming)
- You're missing out, this is
good.
- Oh, I'm sure I am.
- Hey.
- So I know y'all did not
just eat this man's fish?
- [Both] Mm-mm.
- [Ray] Nope.
- No.
- [Ray] Wrong table.
[snickering]
- Okay people, let's listen up.
I bet we're glad to have finally
eaten.
We were hungry?
- Yeah, mm-hmm.
- Well good.
I heard there was an
incident with the fish.
I'm not naming names,
but if anything like
that would happen again,
strikes will definitely be
given.
There is to be no sharing of
food.
Do we understand?
- [All] Yeah.
- We're here together for awhile
so let's all get comfortable
and do our work and respect
each other and the process.
In your packets, you will find
all the known side effects
of the drug and you must sign
that you understand them
completely.
It's an experimental
medication for syphilis.
The study is to test how the
healthy body
responds to the drug.
Please read your packets
thoroughly and sign.
If you are late for any
meals, you will be docked.
If you are late for any
doses, you will be docked.
If you are late for any
blood draws or ECGs,
you will be docked pay and given
a strike.
Three strikes and you're out,
so watch your time, people.
If for any reason you exit
the study within its duration,
you will forego the
$2,500 completion bonus,
you will however retain your
day rate for all days completed.
Your first dose will be in
half an hour, do not be late.
Thank you, people.
(dreamy jazz music)
- Open your mouth.
Lift your tongue.
Now, pull your cheeks like this.
- Good boy.
- Hey, anybody ever tell you
you look like the guy
from the show Scrubs?
- No.
- Well you do.
Are you him?
- Nope.
(phone vibrating)
(light rock music)
- [Remy] Do you have a beard
trimmer?
I gotta get rid of this hospital
beard.
- [Ben] I do.
- [Remy] Can I use it?
- You can.
But I will tell you that I
do use it to shave my pubes.
So that's up to you.
- I don't even have one.
- [Remy] You got a scissor?
- [Travis] Yo, we're out
of coffee filters, man!
- Use some toilet paper.
- We don't have any of that
either, man.
We've been using the coffee
filters.
And I bought both of
those things last time.
- All right, I'll go, dude.
- [Remy] I'll grab them, don't
worry.
You want to hit this?
- [Travis] All right.
- [Ben] What are you so dressed
up for?
- About to go on a date with
this chick I met on Craigslist.
- [Ben] Oh yeah?
- Oh yeah!
- [Josh] Is she a babe?
- Could be, man.
She's got like piercings
and tattoos and shit
and I'm into it.
- [Josh] Nice.
- Maybe I'll marry this one.
(all laughing)
- [Remy] Man, I really
wish you didn't tell me
about the beard trimmer.
- [Ben] Why not?
- Well, 'cause I knew it, we
knew it,
and if we hadn't talked about
it, I would have used it.
- Well you can use my brother's,
man,
we don't have to talk about his.
- I just did!
(all laughing)
(tone chiming)
- [Woman] Morning, gentlemen.
(toilet flushing)
(gulping)
- [Ray] No man at home.
If you know, it's okay.
You can always come snuggle up
next to Ray.
(snoring)
- [Nurse Don] You're late.
- Yeah.
- [Don] What's your number?
- B-7134.
(keyboard clicking)
(cats meowing)
- Yo Scrubs, you want to shoot
one?
- Nah man, I'm not that good.
- Jesus ain't that good.
- Maybe later, all right?
- Yeah, all right.
You trying to hustle me Scrubs.
- I'll play you!
- Okay everyone, marathon blood
draw
starting in 15 minutes.
It'll take about three hours.
Do not be late.
(pool balls clattering)
(tone chiming)
(group chattering)
- So, what's your blood type?
- I'm A positive.
- I'm Andy.
- I'm Misty.
What's your blood type?
- Uh, A minus, I think.
- [Nurse] You're A positive.
(group chattering)
(dreamy jazz music)
(insect buzzing)
- You want me to talk to her?
- No, no.
- She seems very nice.
- Yeah.
- Alright, would you
guys rather have a lobotomy
or get your dicks cut off?
(all laughing)
- Shit, I'd rather blow
my fucking head off
than get my dick cut off by some
asshole.
Are you crazy?
- Would I have a super evolved
brain?
- Without a dick?
- Yeah, yeah probably.
- I need to think about that,
man.
I need to think about that,
that's heavy.
- You're a weird guy, Scrubs.
(all laughing)
(choking)
(gagging and choking)
(whistle blowing)
- Hey, that guy probably
had syphilis, man!
(laughing)
(light guitar music)
(muttering prayer)
- Amen.
- Hey.
Can I sit with you?
- Okay.
- Okay.
- So do you come here often?
- No, this is my first time.
You?
- Yeah, mine too.
I came for the food.
I'm staying for the money.
- Me too.
- Do you think this is
the guy from yesterday?
- That's not funny.
- [Andy] I'm not kidding.
He just disappeared and...
- Are you a vegetarian?
- No.
- Well, apparently our bloodline
is really old and our
people only ate like nuts
and berries and fruit and stuff,
so we don't have the
proper digestive enzymes
to, you know, digest meat.
- We're kinda like old souls
then?
- Sure.
- So I've been eating the
wrong food every day of my life?
- Are you tired a lot?
- Yeah.
- Feel weighed down all the
time?
- Like I have the weight
of the world on me.
- Do you sweat a lot when you
eat meat?
- Yes, meat sweats!
I get em!
- There you go.
This is disgusting.
- So why are you in here?
- For the money?
- I mean you're--
- What?
Pretty?
So?
- I just mean any guy would
be really lucky to take care of
you.
- Fuck that!
- Hey, come on, that's not what
I meant.
- That's why I'm in this fucking
place.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
(vomiting)
(tone chiming)
- You know, there's a part of me
that still says I should go
back and get my PHD.
Ya know?
But I don't know.
With the healthcare game
so volatile right now
I don't know if it makes sense.
I mean, look at this place.
And then there's part of me
again
that wants to go back and be a
golf pro.
You know, say I tried it and I
did it.
(laughing)
- Yeah, golf's pretty volatile
stuff.
(imitating crowd cheering)
(laughing)
- What's up?
- [Andy] I just had a bad dream.
- [Misty] What happened?
- [Andy] Come on.
Nobody ever really wants to
hear other people's dreams.
- I do.
I love dreams.
(tone chiming)
- Some other time.
(glass squeaking)
- So what do you do?
- About what?
- Everything?
Work, money, work.
- You're looking at it now.
- Ugh.
(chuckling)
- [Andy] So what do you do?
- [Misty] About what?
- [Andy] Money, you know, all of
it?
- [Misty] Well, I don't
want to do any of the things
that I used to do for money.
What?
I was a bartender.
And I did...vfoot stuff.
- Okay...
What is that like?
What does that entail?
- Like guys would get a hotel
room
or invite me over to their house
and they'd play with my feet
or take pictures of my feet.
- That's weird.
- Yeah.
- And sometimes they
would bring these toys
or they'd build model towns and
bake cakes
and shit and have me walk all
over them and destroy them
and they'd videotape it.
- How'd you know you wouldn't
get like hurt though?
- It was through a service.
And anyway, my ex would drive me
there
and he'd wait for me and
then he'd take me home.
- Like a pimp?
- No.
- And he didn't care?
- No, in fact he preferred
it to me bartending.
That drove him crazy.
- Well, he sounds like a great
guy.
(sighing)
- [Misty] Yeah.
- Well what do you want to do?
- Well, I write a lot.
And I know everybody says
that, but I actually do.
And I think I'm pretty good.
And I want to travel.
A lot.
And I know everybody says that
too.
What?
- It's just everybody does say
that.
"I want to travel.
I want to travel."
I feel like everybody
just does the same shit.
You know, like they go
backpacking through Europe
or they travel to Latin America
and then they come back
and think they're Latin
people or something.
You know?
Or they cheat and carry out
these affairs
just to feel more interesting.
Cause they don't do anything
real at all.
They fuck around and they get
drunk
or they do too many drugs.
Or they try to make a lot of
money
and accumulate wealth like
a bunch of dumb idiots.
And they do it because
they're not good at anything.
So they go on doing
these interesting things
and telling everybody about them
as though people actually
care cause they want people
to know about the things they do
more
than they care about actually
doing them.
And it's all the same.
It's just so...desperate,
always, with people. They...
(sighing)
It's just something
I've been thinking about
in here and shit.
- You're crazy for thinking
that anything you do
is gonna be some novel thing.
It's just not like that.
- People are alive, Andy, and
they have to do things
that they think they should do.
If you don't, you're a dead
person.
And that sucks.
(tone chiming)
- I want a double-meat,
double-cheese Whopper, man,
fuck!
- Hell yeah, with fries?
- Large fries!
- And a shake!
- I wish I had a pussy to eat
right now!
- That's breakfast, lunch, and
dinner bro!
- After this shit man,
I'm gonna eat all the
fucking pussy in the world.
Shit, with this kinda money.
Think about it.
- [Nurse] Okay, lights out.
Goodnight gentlemen.
- [Sam] Goodnight.
(door closing)
- [Domingo] Dios te salve,
Maria, llena eres de gracia
el Seor es contigo. Bendita t
eres--
(Ray farting)
- [Ray] Night Scrubs.
- [Andy] I write too, you know.
- Do you?
I haven't seen you write the
entire time you've been in here.
- Yeah, well, I got a
lot going on in here.
- You should write me something.
- What?
Now?
- Yeah.
- Nah...
- Write me a picture.
- A picture?
- A picture of anything.
Whatever you want.
- [Andy] A picture.
- Read it.
- What?
- Yeah.
- I'm gonna go home and draw
a picture of two trains.
One's gonna have pretty eyes.
That one's gonna be you.
The other is gonna be blue.
That one's gonna be me.
(tone sounding)
(light rock music)
(vomiting)
(machine beeping)
(machine beeping faster)
- Let's go again.
- Alright.
- I called winner!
- Nah, we said best two out of
three.
- [Ray] Wake up, man.
Always sleepin'...
- I just wanna smoke a fat
bowl and eat tons of shit.
You know what I mean?
This fuckin' sucks, wake
me when it's bedtime.
- It ain't so bad, man.
- [Ray] Yo Scrubs, you want
winner?
Yo Scrubs!
- What?
- You want winner?
- Nah, I'm good.
- Oh, okay Scrubs, okay, I see
how it is.
- Man, I will play you!
(soft, orchestral piano music)
(laughing while crying)
(music growing louder and more
dramatic)
(toilet flushing)
(spitting)
- Well look who's late to the
party.
That's a strike.
(water running)
- Get on the bed.
- [Nurse] Shirt off.
- Now, lay down.
- I told my mama to go get the
gun.
She was just lying there
on the ground next to him.
Rocking back and forth, back and
forth,
all shocked, crying in the
grass.
Couldn't do nothing.
So I had to strangle him to
death,
'til he stopped his moving.
While my mama she just cried and
cried.
- Oh my God.
- And I still miss that dang
cat.
Five, Jimmy.
- I think the best part is,
I come from a small town called
Wynot.
It's W-Y-N-O-T, if you ever-
- Goodnight.
- Hey, can I walk you?
(light piano music)
- Yeah.
- Shall we?
- Yeah.
- Meet me in the movie room
at twenty-four hundred.
- Goodnight.
(snoring)
(distant chattering)
(dramatic orchestral music)
- I'm scared.
- I think we'll be okay.
I've been thinking a lot
lately about being human.
- It's a difficult way to live.
- Yeah, and about how there
really
isn't any original thing you can
do.
Yeah, okay, people fall
in love, people travel.
Or they can live to some
other kind of standard,
like they could become a
Buddhist monk or something,
but even that's been done to
death.
That's why, really all there
is to do, is to try and create.
And I don't mean make babies, or
whatever,
everybody does that too.
I mean, I mean, you have
to try and make good work.
Try and make something that's
your own.
- Personally.
- Yeah, your own.
Your experiences.
You just gotta make sure your
having the right experiences.
- Movie time is over.
Oh, it's Nurse Don.
Is he gonna give us strikes?
Yeah, he is.
Strike, strike.
Come on.
One more and you're
both out of here, right?
- Hey, it's my fault.
- I'm sure it is.
Goodnight.
Come on, Romeo.
(soft rock music)
(rock music playing from a
stereo)
(laughing)
- So I was thinking...
- You were thinking?
- [Woman] We could...
(music slowly building)
(music drowning out all other
sounds)
(crying)
- What the fuck, man!
Damnit!
(door slamming)
(music stops)
(crying)
- It's okay, big guy.
(tone chiming)
- [Nurse] Good morning,
gentleman.
- They want our blood again.
- Okay.
I'll be right out.
(Misty sighing)
- That's some good shit, homey.
Shit.
Hey, you don't want no
part of this, Scrubs.
(coughing)
- Hey guys!
(chuckling)
What do we have going on here?
- Bitchass.
- It's tropical punch!
(chuckling)
And I'm pretty sure this is
your last strike, huh, guy?
- Hey, man, chill.
He ain't even hit the
motherfucker, all right?
He didn't even hit the
motherfucker, all right?
He was just looking at it.
He ain't never seen one before.
- Yeah, I ain't ever seen one
before.
- Right, right.
You expect me to believe that?
That's all three of you getting
strikes.
- Hey fool, I said he
didn't hit the motherfucker.
Alright?
Look, I'll take the strike, it's
mine.
You smelling my shit?
- Yeah, I smell it.
And you're getting two strikes
for this!
- That's fine by me!
- Thanks man.
- That sucks.
It was like 80 bucks!
- [Andy] Wanna go to
the movies again or what?
- Okay.
(soft orchestral music)
(tone chiming)
(music crescendos)
(music fading)
- I'm not...
- What?
- Anything.
Don't.
- [Nurse] Hold that
there, I'll be right back.
Okay, one more.
Huh...Two more.
(coughing)
- That's really nice.
- Thank you.
It's come a long way.
It's...
- Totally.
- I do them all over the
country.
It's a landscape.
I do ones outside too.
I do all kinds.
- That's nice.
(tone chiming)
(melancholy piano music)
(coughing)
- Go to her.
- Hey, fuck that!
Hey, man, you look like shit.
- I feel like shit, man!
It's this fuckin' medicine
and the air in here, man.
I can't fuckin' breathe it
anymore.
I need to go outside or
something, man.
- Well listen, you can't act
sick in here.
If the screws find out,
they gonna kick you out of the
program
and you're gonna lose that money
you been working so hard for.
You smellin' my shit?
- What do I do?
- Keep your fuckin' mouth
closed.
Put on a good face.
Go get cleaned up.
Look we got one day left
in this shit and that's it.
So eat your fucking breakfast,
man.
(dreamy jazz music)
(coughing)
(coughing)
- Drink it all.
Make sure you get some more.
(coughing)
- Ladies and gentlemen, it is
almost time
for your final dose.
You did it.
Congratulations.
(all clapping)
- Ain't my fault your wife
went and got pregnant.
I'm going to Myrtle.
The Masters, baby!
(coughing)
(door closing)
(coughing)
(door opening)
(sniffing)
(camera clicking)
(vomiting and coughing)
- The hell are you doing in
here?
You're sick, man.
I'm tellin'.
- I wouldn't do that if I were
you.
I saw you, you fuckin perv.
- Saw what?
- What you just did.
In here.
- Who cares?
- I care.
- Bro.
- Don't you dare fucking
'bro' me man, or else.
- Excuse me?
Or else what?
- Or else this isn't gonna
look to pretty for you.
And this whole weird place.
I don't think it needs any bad
light shining on it, do you?
- What do you want?
- Erase all our strikes.
Mine, hers, and all the guys.
And see to it that none of
our wages get docked at all.
Got it, bro?
And clean this shit up.
Gimme these.
(gagging)
(tone chiming)
(dramatic piano music)
What if I die tonight
Out on the porch
Out in the wind
In the moonlight
Thinking about nothing
But loving my friends
What if I said I didn't care
What's the matter? What's the
problem?
To think is boring.
'Cause we all know it's
just a bunch of stuff
Just a bunch of things in our
hands
Holding on
Letting go, looking back
Juggling knives and chewing
glass
Giving in way too fast
Giving in way too fast
(thunder rumbling)
Talking too much
Driving too much
Fucking around
Waiting for your luck to run
out
For your brain to burn out
Trying too hard
It's freaking you out
(Andy sighing)
- A'ight, Scrubs, I'm out.
You be good, okay?
- I will, man.
- And good luck out there, man.
In all this shit.
- Thanks, you too.
- Alright.
- [Chester] No.
Don't do that!
- Chester!
- [Chester] No don't, please!
- Chester!
Hey! Hey.
It's all over.
(sighing)
- [Chester] Hey Andy.
I'd get my dick cut off, man.
I need this shit.
Everybody else will be walking
around
like zombies with their dicks
still on.
But I'll be running shit.
- Alright.
(light rock music)
Has a girl named Misty
checked out of here already?
- Misty?
(keyboard clacking)
(Andy coughing)
I don't have a record of
a Misty with us at all.
- What?
Are you sure?
- I'm sure.
Nope.
(dreamy music)
- Hey, little buddy.
(harmonic playing from RV)
A guy owed me a favor and I took
it.
It was the carburetor - I was
right.
- [Andy] Thanks.
(harmonica music growing louder)
(horn honking)
(dog barking)
- Hey, bud.
Good to see ya.
You movin' back in there?
- Nope.
(door opening)
- Hey, I got this power
I ran you from the house.
Where are the holes?
- There's a thing, it's right
around there.
- Alright, you're all set.
- Thanks, man.
- You hungry?
- No, not really.
I think I'm gonna take a nap.
- [Ben] Alright, well,
let me know if you need
anything, alright?
(door closing)
- Hey man, let's go to this
party.
It's gonna be huge.
- [Andy] Nah man, I'm
not trying to do that.
- Come on man, we'll find some
chicks, get em to love us.
- I got one foot out the door,
man,
I'm just trying to mind my
own business, alright?
- [Travis] What do you mean?
- [Andy] I mean I'm not
trying to see people.
I'm leaving, alright?
Just go by yourself, dude.
- I don't wanna go by myself,
man.
Hey, you got third place
in this poetry contest?
- Yeah...fuck that thing, man.
- What do you get for third
place?
- Nothin'.
- Alright, well even more of a
reason
to come celebrate, ya know?
One last party, one last hurrah.
(groaning)
(upbeat rock music)
- [Travis] Cheers!
- [Girls] Cheers!
- You guys live around here?
- Mmhmm, yeah. We're not far.
- [Travis] Nice.
What do you guys do?
- Just chill.
- Yeah, we just chill.
- [Travis] Just chill?
- What do you do?
- I mean I chill, I write,
I do a little this and that.
- Oh yeah? What kind of writing
- You're a writer?
- Yeah, I mean, you know, I
don't like to
talk about it much, but--
(vomiting)
(rock music)
I want to buy a condo downtown
I want to buy a condo downtown
- I know we never really that
close, man,
but I'm gonna miss you.
- What do you mean, man?
We hung out like every day.
- Yeah, true.
I'm really gonna miss you, man.
- I'll miss you too.
You'll be all right.
- And you got third place in
that thing man, that's huge!
They want to see more of your
stuff!
I haven't gotten third place in
anything.
- Well do you submit your stuff
to places?
- No.
- Yeah, you gotta do that.
- Nah, I gotta get better first,
man.
I think I'm gonna go to grad
school.
I'm gonna get that
financial aid going again
and, depending on the MFA
program,
that's like another three years.
You know, I just gotta take the
G.E.D.
- I think you mean G.R.E., man.
- Yeah, right, whatever, G.R.E.
- You ever heard of a J-O-B,
bro?
- Hey, remember me?
From the party?
- What the hell, man, when
did you learn to speak sign?
- Dude, my Aunt's deaf.
Second language.
- My number one hire.
I never stop learning new
things about this guy.
- Whoa.
Oh, look who's here, man.
- Aw, what the hell.
Get me out of here
This moment!
Yeah!
- Alright, I'm getting out of
here, man.
- Alright, I'm gonna stick
around, dude.
I think this chick over
here is feeling on me.
- Which one?
- The one with the half shaved
head and the neck tattoo.
(can crushing)
- All right, do you.
I gotta go.
- [Travis] All right, be safe.
I wanna buy a condo downtown
I wanna buy a condo downtown
- Fuck you!
- Oh, thank you, man.
(crying)
- Scumbag.
(coughing)
(sighing)
(car approaching)
- What?
- Did you just throw up in that
cactus?
- No.
Why?
What are you doing, are you
crying?
- No.
Come on, get in.
I'll give you a ride.
- Nah, I'm good.
Thank you.
- Andy.
- [Andy] What?
- Please, just let me.
(sighing deeply)
(car door closing)
(crying)
- Hey.
Hey.
Hey, listen.
Hey.
Look you're not deaf, okay?
You're not.
You're just not deaf.
It's okay.
You're probably never gonna be
deaf.
You're gonna be all right.
You're gonna move past all of
this.
And me.
I mean, you're gonna do better
than me.
Not to me, but to you.
And people like you.
You'll be better off.
Believe me.
How do you say goodbye in sign?
(door slamming)
(melancholy guitar music)
(rain falling)
(reverse guitar music)
(door slamming)
(birds chirping)
(door opening)
- Hey, man.
How'd you do?
You guys know each other?
Small town.
Well, we're gonna get some
breakfast.
You wanna come?
(door slamming)
(light folk music)
It's been hard out on the
highway
In my mind I'm in Lafayette
Life was made just to be a
memory
So I'll take all I can get
All I hear are echoes
Echoes of days gone by
Like an old familiar song
Echoes of days gone by
Those days are gone
(knocking on door)
All I hear are echoes
Echoes of days gone by
Like an old familiar song
Echoes of days gone by
Those days are gone
(dryer starting)
(crickets chirping)
(distant train horn blowing)
(dryer rattling)
(train horn blowing louder)
(dryer rattling louder and
louder)
(knocking on door)
- What?
- Hey, you wanna blow some
grass and listen to The Eagles?
- Nah, man.
I gotta do some more
organizing around here.
- Alright, well let me
know if you change your mind.
I'll be out back.
- I will.
(sighing)
(knocking on door)
What?
(knocking on door)
What's up, man?
- Hey.
- Go away.
- I'm not leaving.
- [Andy] Well, I am.
I'm leaving tomorrow.
So just go, all right?
- [Misty] I'm leaving tomorrow
too.
- Cool, well, you can leave now.
Thanks, see ya!
- [Misty] Can I please come in?
- [Andy] No!
- [Misty] Why not?
- Cause I don't need
the emotional overhead
of all of that right now.
- Of what?
- Of you, all right?
Of all of this.
I need me and this RV.
That's it.
And maybe a dog that we
find somewhere along the way
to love us.
- Andy.
- Of all the beds you
could have ended up in
in this town, you had to end up
in mine.
- Look, I'm just glad that I
found you.
Aren't you?
- Look, I went back with my
boyfriend,
my ex-boyfriend, and it
was a huge mistake, okay?
So I fled.
And then I met him out and
we just started talking
and he was being really
nice and I was exhausted.
So yes, I went home with him.
I did.
I did that.
Look, I'm leaving tomorrow.
Where are you going?
- I don't know.
Anywhere that's not fucking
here.
- Can I please come in?
I won't hurt you or anything.
- Yeah, okay, Misty.
Oh wait.
That's not your real name.
You gave me some fake stripper
name
or something like the whole
thing was a fake thing for you.
- No, no, no it wasn't.
It was real.
That's why.
That's why I got scared.
And because I didn't want to let
you down.
- I'm Sarah.
- Sarah?
- Yeah, Sarah.
What?
What? That doesn't fit your
whole weird idealization of me?
You can't do that.
- Do what?
- Idealize me like that.
Like you did.
- I can't help it.
- Well, it isn't fair.
It's like I'm this
sacred, virgin lovething,
or something, that I'm not.
I will never live up to it,
Andy,
cause I'm just a person,
like you, who likes you.
And I loved your poem, so much.
And your blood.
And, not like this matters,
because I'm not your girlfriend
and you don't have any
claim over me or anything,
but nothing happened with him.
- What?
- He just cried a lot and--
and I cried too.
And we -- I don't know, we just
cried together
until we fell asleep.
And so what if I fucked him?
I've fucked a lot of guys!
(sighing)
Can I please come in?
- What's the point?
- 'Cause I heard about this
thing
and we should go do it,
together.
- What thing?
- It's a sleep study in Paris.
And they just want to monitor
our dreams.
And our brain activity.
(laughing)
It's 10 grand!
Per person.
For two weeks.
And they fly you out there
and you could stay up to like a
month
before they fly you back.
And they want couples.
And I don't know, maybe
it will work between us,
maybe it won't, but at
least we'll get to see
about each other and see some of
the world
and it'll be an adventure.
We just gotta get to Florida.
(laughing)
I like you.
And I want to go on an adventure
with you.
So what do you say?
Can I come in?
Or what?
(sighing)
- What's that? My money?
- Yeah.
- [Ben] Keep it.
- Really?
- Ah, gimme half.
- Really?
- No, man.
Definitely not.
It's the real world. Gimme my
money.
And what's up with her car over
there?
Is it going to sit there
the rest of my life or what?
- [Andy] I don't know.
- [Ben] I'll give ya $250 for
it.
- What do you think?
- About what?
- About the car?
I'll give you three for it.
- Three what?
- $300.
- For my car?
- [Ben] Yeah.
- It's all yours, man.
- Make it four and we'll call it
a day.
- Deal.
Here.
For some food and gas and
stuff for you and her,
you're gonna need it.
- Really?
- Yeah.
'Cause you came through on that
too.
And I like ya.
- [Andy] I love you too, man.
- You're a good boy.
She seems all right.
Be careful.
- [Andy] Alright.
- Later, man.
- [Andy] Later.
- Don't be takin any wooden
nickels
out there while you're sellin'
your soul.
- I won't.
- [Travis] Oooh, yeah.
- [Both] Ah.
- [Andy] God.
Y'all be good, alright?
- We will.
(laughing)
- Bye guys.
- [Ben] Hang on, Andy.
(sighing deeply)
Hey man, you let me know when
you get
wherever the hell you're going,
alright?
- I will, man.
Later.
- [All] Later.
(laughing)
(car sputtering)
(car starting)
(Sarah laughing)
(sighing)
- Here we go.
(horn honking)
(Sarah laughing)
(upbeat rock music)
(video glitching)
(group chattering and singing)
(typewriter clacking)
(upbeat folk music)
I'm empty like my refrigerator
I'm empty like my head
I'm empty like a tow-truck
driver
I'm empty like my bed
I'm not full like my family
I'm not full like my friends
I'm not full like my calendar
It has days and days
I've never seen a city
With wooden horses
blocking the streets
(radio tuning)
- [Woman] A plane crashed
in Des Moines Iowa.
- [Man] Healthcare is
hiring, that means jobs!
(radio tuning)
(light guitar music)
(sighing)
(mariachi music)
-[Waitress] Hola, cmo estn?
-[Andy] Bueno.
- [Waitress] Bien?
- [Andy] Yes.
She's doing a thing.
Okay, and I'll have the
pachuga empanalizadas.
- [Waitress] Okay.
Flour or corn tortillas?
- [Andy] Uh, flour.
- [Waitress] Chips and salsa?
- [Andy] S.
- [Andy] Gracias.
(mariachi music plays louder)
(dog barking)
(rap music)
- Don't drop the ball on this
thing,
because if it is what I think
it is, it's gonna set us up.
Sweet, new U-Line.
We need more shelvage
in the warehouse, stat.
(sighing)
How was it?
- [Andy] Awesome.
- 2,300 more, with interest.
- Yup.
- [Ben] You ever follow up
with that trampoline guy?
- [Josh] Yeah.
- [Ben] All right, well don't
let that get away from us.
Could be a good one.
- Hey, Nana wrote us, man.
- Oh yeah? How's she doin'?
- My dear boys, I hope all is
going well with your lives.
I would say you're moving right
along
and in the right directions.
Life moves on, except now
it is without our Phillip.
Last Saturday night he
went out to clean a pool,
had a massive heart attack, and
fell in.
He never wanted to retire.
He wanted to die a working man.
Phil got his wish.
We all should be so blessed.
Well dear boys, get yourselves
a hot dog or something,
eat it thinking of me and
I will feel your thanks.
Love and hugs, Nana.
- Uncle Phil died?
- [Josh] He fell in a pool?
- He was a pool cleaner.
- I'll be able to like
3D print myself a new one
[laughing]
in like 3 years.
- [Travis] I don't know if
you'd want that, dude.
I couldn't live without my dick.
- I mean maybe, but being brain
dead--
- Hold on, ask Andy.
- Andy, would you rather have a
lobotomy
or get your dick cut off?
- A lobotomy?
- [Travis] See? That's what I
said.
- [Man] But y'all wouldn't
know what to do with it.
- You don't know what
to do with it anyways.
Can I bum a smoke?
(phone ringing)
- [Andy] Um, yeah.
- Yeah!
- Hello.
Yes.
Yes, ma'am.
I will be there ready to go.
- Say God bless.
- Okay.
Okay, God bless.
- What the hell was that, dude?
- That was the blood
bank telling me I need
to eat a full meal before
my appointment on Tuesday.
- Is it for good or for money?
- For money.
- [Andy] How much?
- Like 30 bucks.
We're mostly doing it to
find out our blood type.
Need the blood type to
go to the sperm bank.
- [Andy] How much is that?
- Like $200 a sploosh.
- Hey, that's long money, man.
- [Both] Yeah!
- You guys have the same blood
type 'cause you're twins?
- Same egg, bro.
- You guys have the same penis?
- [Both] Yes.
- [Man] Hey, did you ever get
that pizza
you were wanting to get, man?
- That was yesterday, man.
- Oh yeah.
Do you still want to get a pizza
though?
- [Brother] I could get a pizza.
- Do you guys want to get a
pizza?
- Nah, I already had pizza
today.
- I don't have money for pizza
today, man.
- I think we're gonna go
get a pizza at Pizza Land.
- [Both] Laters.
- [Travis] See ya, fellas.
- [Andy] Later.
- So how was it, dude?
- Miguel got paint on
Esteban's favorite CD
and then they blamed it on me.
I tried to stay out of it
and I think they think
I'm a shitty painter.
- Are you?
- I'm all right.
- What did you do all day?
- Man, I hung around here,
I took down a few wasps
nests, I ate lunch, pizza.
I did some writing, I
beat off, that's about it.
- Yeah, what'd you do last
night?
- Man, I went to see about this
chick.
- [Andy] Which one?
- The one I met at the gas
station.
- [Andy] How was that?
- Weird.
I think I'm just done with this
whole tear I've been on now.
- Yeah?
- And I think I'm just done
blowing loads in general too.
Maybe like, the emergency ejac
for like maintenance purposes
or to make myself pass out.
- Yeah.
- I gotta keep that shit in,
man.
It's good for my work.
- All right.
- Yeah, well.
I'm gonna go to the bar.
You want to go?
- I got 20 bucks.
- [Travis] Nice.
Should we ask your brother?
- No.
(light banjo music)
No.
- [Travis] All right!
- Let's go!
-Man, if I could do it all over
again,
I think I'd be an OBGYN.
- Why?
- Just think about it, dude.
- Like that's an actual job
and you're bringing life
into this world every day.
You're like a safecracker.
- I mean, you could still do
that.
- Nah, it's too late.
(dogs barking)
- Please don't get a dog.
- Why?
- Please. You don't need one.
- Yes I do.
They'll love me unconditionally.
It won't put earplugs in its
ears, dude.
- Yeah, but you can't
take care of yourself.
How are you going to take care
of a dog?
- Oh, good one.
- I'm just saying.
Who are these people in our
spot?
- Hey baby!
How are ya?
(sighing deeply)
I don't think we've met.
- Travis.
- Remy.
Come, come.
This is Rose and...Marlo!
- Rose and Marlo, hello.
I've never seen you girls
before.
You guys come here a lot?
We live up the street.
- [Both] Us too!
- [Travis] Awesome,
cheers to being neighbors.
- [Remy] So how you been, man?
What you been up to?
- Not much man, just trying
to figure it all out.
- I hear that.
- [Rose] So what do you do?
- I'm a writer.
- No shit.
Like what do you write?
- You know, poetry, short
stories,
I'm also working on a novel.
- [Rose] No shit!
- What are you doing for money?
- I'm just trying to get it
together.
Trying to look for work
actually.
Hey, is that fence dude looking
for people because I could--
- No, no, but I did just get out
of this medical research
facility for the last nine days.
Remember how broke I was?
Now I'm flush.
- How much did you make?
- Five grand.
- What?
- Yeah, Medico baby.
- How do you do it?
- Basically, you have to
be like a lab rat.
You take pills, get your blood
drawn,
just sit in this facility
for days and days.
- But you just--
- Just show up.
Every morning, 10 a.m.
They do introductions.
- Wow, damn.
- [Remy] You know anybody
renting a room?
- Uh, no.
I don't think so.
- I'm sleeping around right now,
I just need to find something
before I take off again.
- Well, I got the RV, man.
- I got money.
- It's gonna be hot.
- I got a fan.
- All right, let me ask my
brother.
- My man.
- I think America really hasn't
hit
on it right yet, you know?
- Totally.
- And I plan on doing it right,
so,
it's cool, I'm excited to do it.
- Cheers to your novel.
- [Travis] Yeah, thanks.
- Well ladies, you ready
to get out of here?
- We're gonna hit the bathroom.
- Okay.
- [Marlo] Bye guys, nice to meet
you.
- Bye.
See you around the neighborhood.
- [Rose] Yeah, I'll check out
your blog.
- Yeah, do please, definitely.
- Are you still dating, um,
what's her name?
- Don't worry about it.
- Easy baby, easy.
Let me know about that camper.
- All right.
- What the hell was that guy?
- That's Remy.
- Remy?
He seemed pretty cool.
- It's just short for Jeremy
dude.
- Seemed pretty cool to me.
She's still got half a beer,
dude.
(footsteps approaching)
- Is that guy really gonna live
in here?
- [Andy] Maybe, man.
- Who is this guy?
I gotta know about this guy.
- People say he was raised by
gypsies
in Eastern Europe then they left
him
and he taught himself how to
read.
- What?
- Yeah, it's bullshit, man.
- What's he do?
- A whole lot a nothin,
like everybody else, man.
- My kind of dude.
- I gotta get the fuck outta
here dude.
- Yeah? Well where you gonna go?
- [Andy] Anywhere.
I left home so I wouldn't
become a townie there,
I'm not gonna become one here.
No offense.
Ya know, I gotta keep going.
- Yeah, it's the velvet
coffin thing, I get it.
- Yeah, you know it's
a nice place to live,
but I ain't trying to die here.
I'm trying to die a lot farther
away than here, you know?
- Well alright - what are you
gonna do, man?
- I'm gonna fix this RV up and
go,
like me and Haley have been
saying.
She's got money saved up for gas
and once I get this thing going,
and I'm gonna, we're out of
here.
- Well what are we gonna do
tonight, man?
Are we going to that show or
what?
- Yeah.
- 'Cause I don't know
if I can drive, dude.
- [Andy] What time is it?
- I don't know.
- [Andy] You wanna take the
train?
- That'll be weird, let's do it.
(thunder rumbling)
(light folk music)
You're gonna have to
lose what you have
To get what you want
Wouldn't it be nice
To have it both ways?
But if you're gonna leave
You know you can't stay
If you take the heart out
Carve it in four
Leave three quarters in Texas
- She really is good at that!
- What?
- She's really good at that!
- I know!
It's kinda funny to watch, huh?
- [Travis] What?
- It's funny, to watch it
- [Travis] What?
Someone has to die
to make this count
Put me in a hole
I won't make a sound
(crowd cheering)
(punk music)
Stand up straight and run
along
You're just another
It's not needed
(phone vibrating)
- I really like what you guys
do,
I think it's pretty awesome.
You got your own styles and
everything.
- They can't really talk man.
They're doing this simulation
thing.
and some are actually deaf too.
(both laughing)
You want another beer, man?
- Yeah, sure.
- Hey, does anyone want a beer?
Eight.
Yeah.
(girl laughing)
Thanks, man.
- Alright, man.
Stupid car.
- [Travis] See ya later!
- You comin' in?
We could just go to bed.
- [Travis] That party fucking
sucked, man.
- [Andy] Yup.
- And this Trevor guy,
Jesus, what the fuck?
Fuck him!
- What?
- Did you not, dude, he's
totally
trying to steal your girl.
- No, no, that's how
they communicate, man.
They're a very touchy-feely
people.
It's part of the process.
- Did you not just see all that?
- He's deaf, dude.
- Yeah well, he's really good
looking.
- So?
- And she's like really
into the deaf thing.
- I know.
- [Travis] She's like, all about
it.
- You just said that!
- What are we gonna do?
- About what?
- I'm broke.
- [Andy] You'll be all right.
- No, and the government's not
giving me
any more money until I start
paying back
all these student loans.
- Well, didn't you say
that if you didn't finish
that last credit you
wouldn't have to graduate?
- Yeah, fuck it.
I just won't graduate.
- But doesn't the debt just
keep getting bigger and bigger?
- And how would I go to grad
school?
- You think Fitzgerald
went to grad school?
- It's either that or war.
(coughing)
- It's kicked!
- Ah, dude.
(gagging)
- [Andy] Oh, fuck.
- Oh, there's a hit left in
this, man.
(Travis coughing)
- [Andy] What the fuck am I
gonna do?
- [Travis] About what, man?
- I got the school debt
and I gotta pay Ben back like
two grand.
I fuckin' hate living
here with that over me
and him fucking yapping and
shit, man.
- You should just be writing.
You should be focusing on that.
You should just write every day.
- Yeah.
- You just don't do it anymore.
Your short stories are good.
Your poems are good, man.
- [Andy] What? Which ones?
- Like that one, man, about
the lawyers that go to lunch.
- Three Lawyers at Lunch.
- Yeah!
- Yeah, I wrote that shit.
- Yeah, it's really good.
And the one about the town
that smells like a bathroom
and everyone has to drive
through it real fast--
- The Town of a Thousand Urinal
Cakes.
- Yeah, you're really good.
You just don't do it anymore.
- I'm just worried about
money right now, all right?
- What about the poetry contest,
man?
That's 15 grand.
- Yeah, well I haven't
heard back from them.
Plus that shit goes to
like MFA shitheads in Iowa
or some old lady in New England.
People like you and I don't
win that kind of thing man.
- What about the Census thing,
man?
That's 18 bucks an
hour - that's good money.
- Yeah, but that's once every
ten years.
- Hey, weren't you gonna be a
notary?
Like I'll do it too, man.
We could put a sign on
the front of the house.
Take this thing, go mobile!
Go town to town signing things,
man.
- You need to know people.
- I'm pretty sure you don't.
I'm pretty sure you just go
online--
- I'm saying you need to know
people
who need shit notarized.
Do you?
- No.
- [Andy] Me neither.
(sighing)
- You could do that thing Remy
did.
Be a hamster on a wheel, make
some cash.
- Yeah, maybe I will.
- Yeah, go down there tomorrow.
- Yeah, and then Remy
could rent this place out
or my room for like $250,
that's good money man.
- Yeah dude, do it.
- Yeah, I will.
- So go.
- Well, yeah.
Will you give me a ride?
- [Travis] Of course.
Maybe I'll do it too.
- Alright.
- Probably get a lot of writing
done.
- Probably.
- Nah man, I'm gonna stick
around here.
I'm really finally getting
to it around here, you know?
Someday we'll be so rich, we'll
never die.
- Yeah, well.
(light country music)
- Dude, come on!
- What?
What?!
I'm sleeping!
- We gotta go!
- Go where?
What the hell is wrong with you?
- To Medico, dude.
I'm late.
- Oh, gross, dude.
- What? It's my snooze booze.
- We gotta go to the place!
- Oh yeah.
- I'll just figure it all out.
(sighing)
(percussive trumpet music)
- Hey, they got Waffle House up
here, man.
- [Andy] This is where you turn
in.
- Right here?
- Yeah.
How do we get in here?
- [Travis] I don't know.
- Stop, there's a hole.
Stop, stop, stop!
I'm getting out.
- Hey, I'll be at that Waffle
House!
- I'm here for the initiation.
- We've already started
and we don't let anyone
in once we've begun.
- I'm only four minutes--
- Yeah, no latecomers.
It's our policy, guy.
(sighing)
- [Receptionist] You can
come on back tomorrow.
We'll get you in if all the
spots aren't filled up, okay?
- Well is there a chance?
- There's a chance.
Some people don't pass the
health test.
- And some are late.
- [Receptionist] Here, take this
info.
- Thanks.
(tejano music)
- [Misty] Fuck!
(engine sputtering)
Come on!
Fuck!
- You need some help?
- What?
- Do you need help?
- Do you know how to fix cars?
- No, not really.
- Then why would I need your
help?
(engine starting)
Ugh.
(horn honking)
- [Andy] I see you.
(light rock music)
(phone vibrating)
Hold me by the hand
Let me walk with you out in
the field
Talk about what we think
What we see, what we believe
Can it be
Beautiful and something sweet?
Green leaves growing on a tree
Blue skies and perfect nights
Just a little bit
Just enough to feel
Walk around the park
A night under the moon
A little piece of peace
- [Receptionist] You just
made it, fill this out.
(light rock music)
(sighing)
(knocking on door)
- Come in.
- Hey man, I gotta talk to you.
- Yeah? About what?
- Eh...it's a job.
(phone vibrating)
- A job?
Hang on.
Hello?
Yeah, $225.
He didn't even look under
it, fucking jerkoff.
What about that other thing?
All right, that's good, sounds
promising.
Listen, let me go, I got
my brother over here.
He's about to lay some shit on
me again,
I can see it coming.
Goodnight.
- We got this big deal going
down tomorrow
with these coolers, knockoff
Yetis.
Could be a good hit.
So, a job.
What kind of job?
It better not be a weed farm
thing again, I swear to God.
- It's not, it's um, in
pharmaceuticals, so--
- Pharmaceuticals?
Alright.
Well hey, walk with me, talk
with me.
- I only got one.
- It's all right.
- So what is it?
- Well, it pays $4,500
for like a week of work.
- Doing what?
- I don't know, like testing
pills
and, I don't know, giving blood
and shit--
- Whoa...I heard about this,
man,
you're not doing that.
- Why?
- Because, that's like we
gave this shit to rats,
now we're giving it to
humans kind of shit.
You don't want to do that.
- Yeah, I do!
And that dude Remy has
done it a bunch, man.
- I'm doing it. Tomorrow.
And I'm gonna pay you back!
- Not happening.
You're selling me the RV for 15
and giving me six, call it a
day.
- I'm not selling you the
fucking RV, Ben.
- It doesn't even run!
- Yes it does!
- It doesn't.
- It will!
Same difference, all right.
- "Same difference, all right!"
- Fuck you, man.
- It doesn't run.
- I have to put in a new
carburetor and fix the battery.
- Yeah, and I gotta do it for
you.
- Oh, wow!
Who cares!
- All right, you sell
me the RV for two grand,
I erase your debt, it's a sick
deal.
I sell it to a guy on a deer
lease,
or I rent it to you, you live
back there.
- [Andy] No!
No fucking way!
- Why not?
- It's the only way I'm gonna
get the fuck
out of here and onto everything
else
I'm ever supposed to do!
- I'd love to know what you've
got to do.
What you think you got to do out
there.
I give you a sweet place to
live for 385 bucks a month,
all bills paid, okay?
I let you keep your little
camper back there on the land,
I don't charge you for it,
you're my brother, it's fine.
You eat my food, all the
time, I know you do it,
I buy more because of
you, you little bastard.
I keep fucking toiletries for
you.
You and your little
buddy come in at night,
you take my weed, smoke it.
I know you do it, you think
I don't notice, I notice!
- Yeah, I'm sure you do.
- What does that mean?
What, like I'm a bad guy?
I love that.
I'm the bad guy!
- You're not a bad guy.
- That's just human beings, man.
You do, you do, you do
and what do they do?
They resent you.
- I'm just sick of owing
you this fucking money, man.
- What do you want, man?
You want to be like your
little buddy back there,
collecting unemployment for
being a waiter for two years?
- No, that's not what I want.
- Dad will slap the shit out of
you.
- That's not what I want.
- [Ben] I hope not, man.
I didn't set you up here for
that.
- And I'm not lazy.
That's why I'm going to this
place.
Alright, so I can pay you back
and finally get going so
I can figure my shit out.
(door opening)
- Beer?
- I can't.
- [Travis] Why not?
- I gotta go in tomorrow
and they said no food or drink
beforehand.
- [Travis] Cha-ching,
cha-ching, cha-ching, cha-ching!
- The mediocrity with you is so
thick.
it...it baffles me.
- [Travis] You don't mean that,
dude.
- Also, that Remy dude is
gonna stay here while I'm gone.
- What? For how much?
- $250 to stay in the
RV - that's strong money, man.
- Make it $325, he can stay in
here.
- Alright.
- What? I was gonna try and stay
in the house.
- You're an outside guy, man.
(driving music)
(harmonica plays)
You're gonna die in this room
In your twin-size coffin tomb
When all your friends have
bailed out
- [Ben] What is this place?
Is it governmental?
- [Andy] Probably.
- [Ben] If it sucks or
people are fucking with you
or trying to fuck you,
you're leaving, okay?
- Okay.
- I'm serious.
- Alright!
(Ben sighing)
- Later.
- Later.
(sighing)
- Outpatient!
Michael Schlosser.
- Hey, baby.
- What are you doing here?
- [Remy] My follow-up
blood draw and my check
- [Andy] Nice.
- Yeah, that's that long money.
What are you doing here?
- Checking in.
- Want me to show you around?
- Are you allowed?
- They love me in here.
Denise, I'm gonna give
my little friend here
the nickel tour.
- All right, baby.
- All right, come on!
(light, curious, disembodied
music)
- This is the cafeteria.
Last time, they served this like
barbecue rib sandwich thing
three nights in a row.
People were fucking pissed.
- This is the movie room.
They play some pretty
decent stuff sometimes,
usually comedies.
Nothing too exciting.
- You can't watch any porn but
it's better than nothing.
This last time, there was
a guy studying for the GRE.
He was taking exams the entire
time.
He was pretty cool.
- I suggest you get a top bunk.
People fart a lot in
here, especially at night.
I think it's like the meds and
shit.
They don't like you doing
too much physical activity,
but I like to do some push-ups
and sit-ups just to keep it all
together.
Watch your shit.
Some of these dudes are
pre-release from prison,
some of these dudes are
straight up veterans,
they've been doing this shit
since 'Nam,
like for the government.
You're not trying to make
any friends in here, man.
It's pretty much bottom
of the barrel here.
(breathing deeply)
But you'll be fine!
Come on.
- And this is the day room slash
rec room,
you can hang out and play games
and shit.
There's this pool table, but
it's
kinda fucked and the sticks
suck.
But...
this, this is the window.
It's good to get your sun.
- [Andy] Can you go outside at
all?
Ever?
- [Remy] No.
Never.
(tone chiming)
And that, that is the tone of
time.
That is your God.
It's probably your first blood
draw, we should see about it.
Can't be late.
Don't ever be late.
- [Man] Hey, what's for lunch?
- [2nd Man] Yeah, when
are we eating, dammit?
I'm starving!
- This is it, man.
I'm outta here.
- Thanks, man.
- Good luck, baby.
Hey remember, just do your own
time.
(tone chiming)
- Oooh.
- You okay?
- [Nurse] One more.
- Treetop.
- Andy.
- [Chester] Is that fish?
I can't eat fish.
- Why not?
- 'Cause they're gross.
I don't want to eat a fish, man.
- You tellin me you're not gonna
eat that?
- No, no way.
- Let me get that then.
- Yeah.
- All right.
- Thank you.
(humming)
- You're missing out, this is
good.
- Oh, I'm sure I am.
- Hey.
- So I know y'all did not
just eat this man's fish?
- [Both] Mm-mm.
- [Ray] Nope.
- No.
- [Ray] Wrong table.
[snickering]
- Okay people, let's listen up.
I bet we're glad to have finally
eaten.
We were hungry?
- Yeah, mm-hmm.
- Well good.
I heard there was an
incident with the fish.
I'm not naming names,
but if anything like
that would happen again,
strikes will definitely be
given.
There is to be no sharing of
food.
Do we understand?
- [All] Yeah.
- We're here together for awhile
so let's all get comfortable
and do our work and respect
each other and the process.
In your packets, you will find
all the known side effects
of the drug and you must sign
that you understand them
completely.
It's an experimental
medication for syphilis.
The study is to test how the
healthy body
responds to the drug.
Please read your packets
thoroughly and sign.
If you are late for any
meals, you will be docked.
If you are late for any
doses, you will be docked.
If you are late for any
blood draws or ECGs,
you will be docked pay and given
a strike.
Three strikes and you're out,
so watch your time, people.
If for any reason you exit
the study within its duration,
you will forego the
$2,500 completion bonus,
you will however retain your
day rate for all days completed.
Your first dose will be in
half an hour, do not be late.
Thank you, people.
(dreamy jazz music)
- Open your mouth.
Lift your tongue.
Now, pull your cheeks like this.
- Good boy.
- Hey, anybody ever tell you
you look like the guy
from the show Scrubs?
- No.
- Well you do.
Are you him?
- Nope.
(phone vibrating)
(light rock music)
- [Remy] Do you have a beard
trimmer?
I gotta get rid of this hospital
beard.
- [Ben] I do.
- [Remy] Can I use it?
- You can.
But I will tell you that I
do use it to shave my pubes.
So that's up to you.
- I don't even have one.
- [Remy] You got a scissor?
- [Travis] Yo, we're out
of coffee filters, man!
- Use some toilet paper.
- We don't have any of that
either, man.
We've been using the coffee
filters.
And I bought both of
those things last time.
- All right, I'll go, dude.
- [Remy] I'll grab them, don't
worry.
You want to hit this?
- [Travis] All right.
- [Ben] What are you so dressed
up for?
- About to go on a date with
this chick I met on Craigslist.
- [Ben] Oh yeah?
- Oh yeah!
- [Josh] Is she a babe?
- Could be, man.
She's got like piercings
and tattoos and shit
and I'm into it.
- [Josh] Nice.
- Maybe I'll marry this one.
(all laughing)
- [Remy] Man, I really
wish you didn't tell me
about the beard trimmer.
- [Ben] Why not?
- Well, 'cause I knew it, we
knew it,
and if we hadn't talked about
it, I would have used it.
- Well you can use my brother's,
man,
we don't have to talk about his.
- I just did!
(all laughing)
(tone chiming)
- [Woman] Morning, gentlemen.
(toilet flushing)
(gulping)
- [Ray] No man at home.
If you know, it's okay.
You can always come snuggle up
next to Ray.
(snoring)
- [Nurse Don] You're late.
- Yeah.
- [Don] What's your number?
- B-7134.
(keyboard clicking)
(cats meowing)
- Yo Scrubs, you want to shoot
one?
- Nah man, I'm not that good.
- Jesus ain't that good.
- Maybe later, all right?
- Yeah, all right.
You trying to hustle me Scrubs.
- I'll play you!
- Okay everyone, marathon blood
draw
starting in 15 minutes.
It'll take about three hours.
Do not be late.
(pool balls clattering)
(tone chiming)
(group chattering)
- So, what's your blood type?
- I'm A positive.
- I'm Andy.
- I'm Misty.
What's your blood type?
- Uh, A minus, I think.
- [Nurse] You're A positive.
(group chattering)
(dreamy jazz music)
(insect buzzing)
- You want me to talk to her?
- No, no.
- She seems very nice.
- Yeah.
- Alright, would you
guys rather have a lobotomy
or get your dicks cut off?
(all laughing)
- Shit, I'd rather blow
my fucking head off
than get my dick cut off by some
asshole.
Are you crazy?
- Would I have a super evolved
brain?
- Without a dick?
- Yeah, yeah probably.
- I need to think about that,
man.
I need to think about that,
that's heavy.
- You're a weird guy, Scrubs.
(all laughing)
(choking)
(gagging and choking)
(whistle blowing)
- Hey, that guy probably
had syphilis, man!
(laughing)
(light guitar music)
(muttering prayer)
- Amen.
- Hey.
Can I sit with you?
- Okay.
- Okay.
- So do you come here often?
- No, this is my first time.
You?
- Yeah, mine too.
I came for the food.
I'm staying for the money.
- Me too.
- Do you think this is
the guy from yesterday?
- That's not funny.
- [Andy] I'm not kidding.
He just disappeared and...
- Are you a vegetarian?
- No.
- Well, apparently our bloodline
is really old and our
people only ate like nuts
and berries and fruit and stuff,
so we don't have the
proper digestive enzymes
to, you know, digest meat.
- We're kinda like old souls
then?
- Sure.
- So I've been eating the
wrong food every day of my life?
- Are you tired a lot?
- Yeah.
- Feel weighed down all the
time?
- Like I have the weight
of the world on me.
- Do you sweat a lot when you
eat meat?
- Yes, meat sweats!
I get em!
- There you go.
This is disgusting.
- So why are you in here?
- For the money?
- I mean you're--
- What?
Pretty?
So?
- I just mean any guy would
be really lucky to take care of
you.
- Fuck that!
- Hey, come on, that's not what
I meant.
- That's why I'm in this fucking
place.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
(vomiting)
(tone chiming)
- You know, there's a part of me
that still says I should go
back and get my PHD.
Ya know?
But I don't know.
With the healthcare game
so volatile right now
I don't know if it makes sense.
I mean, look at this place.
And then there's part of me
again
that wants to go back and be a
golf pro.
You know, say I tried it and I
did it.
(laughing)
- Yeah, golf's pretty volatile
stuff.
(imitating crowd cheering)
(laughing)
- What's up?
- [Andy] I just had a bad dream.
- [Misty] What happened?
- [Andy] Come on.
Nobody ever really wants to
hear other people's dreams.
- I do.
I love dreams.
(tone chiming)
- Some other time.
(glass squeaking)
- So what do you do?
- About what?
- Everything?
Work, money, work.
- You're looking at it now.
- Ugh.
(chuckling)
- [Andy] So what do you do?
- [Misty] About what?
- [Andy] Money, you know, all of
it?
- [Misty] Well, I don't
want to do any of the things
that I used to do for money.
What?
I was a bartender.
And I did...vfoot stuff.
- Okay...
What is that like?
What does that entail?
- Like guys would get a hotel
room
or invite me over to their house
and they'd play with my feet
or take pictures of my feet.
- That's weird.
- Yeah.
- And sometimes they
would bring these toys
or they'd build model towns and
bake cakes
and shit and have me walk all
over them and destroy them
and they'd videotape it.
- How'd you know you wouldn't
get like hurt though?
- It was through a service.
And anyway, my ex would drive me
there
and he'd wait for me and
then he'd take me home.
- Like a pimp?
- No.
- And he didn't care?
- No, in fact he preferred
it to me bartending.
That drove him crazy.
- Well, he sounds like a great
guy.
(sighing)
- [Misty] Yeah.
- Well what do you want to do?
- Well, I write a lot.
And I know everybody says
that, but I actually do.
And I think I'm pretty good.
And I want to travel.
A lot.
And I know everybody says that
too.
What?
- It's just everybody does say
that.
"I want to travel.
I want to travel."
I feel like everybody
just does the same shit.
You know, like they go
backpacking through Europe
or they travel to Latin America
and then they come back
and think they're Latin
people or something.
You know?
Or they cheat and carry out
these affairs
just to feel more interesting.
Cause they don't do anything
real at all.
They fuck around and they get
drunk
or they do too many drugs.
Or they try to make a lot of
money
and accumulate wealth like
a bunch of dumb idiots.
And they do it because
they're not good at anything.
So they go on doing
these interesting things
and telling everybody about them
as though people actually
care cause they want people
to know about the things they do
more
than they care about actually
doing them.
And it's all the same.
It's just so...desperate,
always, with people. They...
(sighing)
It's just something
I've been thinking about
in here and shit.
- You're crazy for thinking
that anything you do
is gonna be some novel thing.
It's just not like that.
- People are alive, Andy, and
they have to do things
that they think they should do.
If you don't, you're a dead
person.
And that sucks.
(tone chiming)
- I want a double-meat,
double-cheese Whopper, man,
fuck!
- Hell yeah, with fries?
- Large fries!
- And a shake!
- I wish I had a pussy to eat
right now!
- That's breakfast, lunch, and
dinner bro!
- After this shit man,
I'm gonna eat all the
fucking pussy in the world.
Shit, with this kinda money.
Think about it.
- [Nurse] Okay, lights out.
Goodnight gentlemen.
- [Sam] Goodnight.
(door closing)
- [Domingo] Dios te salve,
Maria, llena eres de gracia
el Seor es contigo. Bendita t
eres--
(Ray farting)
- [Ray] Night Scrubs.
- [Andy] I write too, you know.
- Do you?
I haven't seen you write the
entire time you've been in here.
- Yeah, well, I got a
lot going on in here.
- You should write me something.
- What?
Now?
- Yeah.
- Nah...
- Write me a picture.
- A picture?
- A picture of anything.
Whatever you want.
- [Andy] A picture.
- Read it.
- What?
- Yeah.
- I'm gonna go home and draw
a picture of two trains.
One's gonna have pretty eyes.
That one's gonna be you.
The other is gonna be blue.
That one's gonna be me.
(tone sounding)
(light rock music)
(vomiting)
(machine beeping)
(machine beeping faster)
- Let's go again.
- Alright.
- I called winner!
- Nah, we said best two out of
three.
- [Ray] Wake up, man.
Always sleepin'...
- I just wanna smoke a fat
bowl and eat tons of shit.
You know what I mean?
This fuckin' sucks, wake
me when it's bedtime.
- It ain't so bad, man.
- [Ray] Yo Scrubs, you want
winner?
Yo Scrubs!
- What?
- You want winner?
- Nah, I'm good.
- Oh, okay Scrubs, okay, I see
how it is.
- Man, I will play you!
(soft, orchestral piano music)
(laughing while crying)
(music growing louder and more
dramatic)
(toilet flushing)
(spitting)
- Well look who's late to the
party.
That's a strike.
(water running)
- Get on the bed.
- [Nurse] Shirt off.
- Now, lay down.
- I told my mama to go get the
gun.
She was just lying there
on the ground next to him.
Rocking back and forth, back and
forth,
all shocked, crying in the
grass.
Couldn't do nothing.
So I had to strangle him to
death,
'til he stopped his moving.
While my mama she just cried and
cried.
- Oh my God.
- And I still miss that dang
cat.
Five, Jimmy.
- I think the best part is,
I come from a small town called
Wynot.
It's W-Y-N-O-T, if you ever-
- Goodnight.
- Hey, can I walk you?
(light piano music)
- Yeah.
- Shall we?
- Yeah.
- Meet me in the movie room
at twenty-four hundred.
- Goodnight.
(snoring)
(distant chattering)
(dramatic orchestral music)
- I'm scared.
- I think we'll be okay.
I've been thinking a lot
lately about being human.
- It's a difficult way to live.
- Yeah, and about how there
really
isn't any original thing you can
do.
Yeah, okay, people fall
in love, people travel.
Or they can live to some
other kind of standard,
like they could become a
Buddhist monk or something,
but even that's been done to
death.
That's why, really all there
is to do, is to try and create.
And I don't mean make babies, or
whatever,
everybody does that too.
I mean, I mean, you have
to try and make good work.
Try and make something that's
your own.
- Personally.
- Yeah, your own.
Your experiences.
You just gotta make sure your
having the right experiences.
- Movie time is over.
Oh, it's Nurse Don.
Is he gonna give us strikes?
Yeah, he is.
Strike, strike.
Come on.
One more and you're
both out of here, right?
- Hey, it's my fault.
- I'm sure it is.
Goodnight.
Come on, Romeo.
(soft rock music)
(rock music playing from a
stereo)
(laughing)
- So I was thinking...
- You were thinking?
- [Woman] We could...
(music slowly building)
(music drowning out all other
sounds)
(crying)
- What the fuck, man!
Damnit!
(door slamming)
(music stops)
(crying)
- It's okay, big guy.
(tone chiming)
- [Nurse] Good morning,
gentleman.
- They want our blood again.
- Okay.
I'll be right out.
(Misty sighing)
- That's some good shit, homey.
Shit.
Hey, you don't want no
part of this, Scrubs.
(coughing)
- Hey guys!
(chuckling)
What do we have going on here?
- Bitchass.
- It's tropical punch!
(chuckling)
And I'm pretty sure this is
your last strike, huh, guy?
- Hey, man, chill.
He ain't even hit the
motherfucker, all right?
He didn't even hit the
motherfucker, all right?
He was just looking at it.
He ain't never seen one before.
- Yeah, I ain't ever seen one
before.
- Right, right.
You expect me to believe that?
That's all three of you getting
strikes.
- Hey fool, I said he
didn't hit the motherfucker.
Alright?
Look, I'll take the strike, it's
mine.
You smelling my shit?
- Yeah, I smell it.
And you're getting two strikes
for this!
- That's fine by me!
- Thanks man.
- That sucks.
It was like 80 bucks!
- [Andy] Wanna go to
the movies again or what?
- Okay.
(soft orchestral music)
(tone chiming)
(music crescendos)
(music fading)
- I'm not...
- What?
- Anything.
Don't.
- [Nurse] Hold that
there, I'll be right back.
Okay, one more.
Huh...Two more.
(coughing)
- That's really nice.
- Thank you.
It's come a long way.
It's...
- Totally.
- I do them all over the
country.
It's a landscape.
I do ones outside too.
I do all kinds.
- That's nice.
(tone chiming)
(melancholy piano music)
(coughing)
- Go to her.
- Hey, fuck that!
Hey, man, you look like shit.
- I feel like shit, man!
It's this fuckin' medicine
and the air in here, man.
I can't fuckin' breathe it
anymore.
I need to go outside or
something, man.
- Well listen, you can't act
sick in here.
If the screws find out,
they gonna kick you out of the
program
and you're gonna lose that money
you been working so hard for.
You smellin' my shit?
- What do I do?
- Keep your fuckin' mouth
closed.
Put on a good face.
Go get cleaned up.
Look we got one day left
in this shit and that's it.
So eat your fucking breakfast,
man.
(dreamy jazz music)
(coughing)
(coughing)
- Drink it all.
Make sure you get some more.
(coughing)
- Ladies and gentlemen, it is
almost time
for your final dose.
You did it.
Congratulations.
(all clapping)
- Ain't my fault your wife
went and got pregnant.
I'm going to Myrtle.
The Masters, baby!
(coughing)
(door closing)
(coughing)
(door opening)
(sniffing)
(camera clicking)
(vomiting and coughing)
- The hell are you doing in
here?
You're sick, man.
I'm tellin'.
- I wouldn't do that if I were
you.
I saw you, you fuckin perv.
- Saw what?
- What you just did.
In here.
- Who cares?
- I care.
- Bro.
- Don't you dare fucking
'bro' me man, or else.
- Excuse me?
Or else what?
- Or else this isn't gonna
look to pretty for you.
And this whole weird place.
I don't think it needs any bad
light shining on it, do you?
- What do you want?
- Erase all our strikes.
Mine, hers, and all the guys.
And see to it that none of
our wages get docked at all.
Got it, bro?
And clean this shit up.
Gimme these.
(gagging)
(tone chiming)
(dramatic piano music)
What if I die tonight
Out on the porch
Out in the wind
In the moonlight
Thinking about nothing
But loving my friends
What if I said I didn't care
What's the matter? What's the
problem?
To think is boring.
'Cause we all know it's
just a bunch of stuff
Just a bunch of things in our
hands
Holding on
Letting go, looking back
Juggling knives and chewing
glass
Giving in way too fast
Giving in way too fast
(thunder rumbling)
Talking too much
Driving too much
Fucking around
Waiting for your luck to run
out
For your brain to burn out
Trying too hard
It's freaking you out
(Andy sighing)
- A'ight, Scrubs, I'm out.
You be good, okay?
- I will, man.
- And good luck out there, man.
In all this shit.
- Thanks, you too.
- Alright.
- [Chester] No.
Don't do that!
- Chester!
- [Chester] No don't, please!
- Chester!
Hey! Hey.
It's all over.
(sighing)
- [Chester] Hey Andy.
I'd get my dick cut off, man.
I need this shit.
Everybody else will be walking
around
like zombies with their dicks
still on.
But I'll be running shit.
- Alright.
(light rock music)
Has a girl named Misty
checked out of here already?
- Misty?
(keyboard clacking)
(Andy coughing)
I don't have a record of
a Misty with us at all.
- What?
Are you sure?
- I'm sure.
Nope.
(dreamy music)
- Hey, little buddy.
(harmonic playing from RV)
A guy owed me a favor and I took
it.
It was the carburetor - I was
right.
- [Andy] Thanks.
(harmonica music growing louder)
(horn honking)
(dog barking)
- Hey, bud.
Good to see ya.
You movin' back in there?
- Nope.
(door opening)
- Hey, I got this power
I ran you from the house.
Where are the holes?
- There's a thing, it's right
around there.
- Alright, you're all set.
- Thanks, man.
- You hungry?
- No, not really.
I think I'm gonna take a nap.
- [Ben] Alright, well,
let me know if you need
anything, alright?
(door closing)
- Hey man, let's go to this
party.
It's gonna be huge.
- [Andy] Nah man, I'm
not trying to do that.
- Come on man, we'll find some
chicks, get em to love us.
- I got one foot out the door,
man,
I'm just trying to mind my
own business, alright?
- [Travis] What do you mean?
- [Andy] I mean I'm not
trying to see people.
I'm leaving, alright?
Just go by yourself, dude.
- I don't wanna go by myself,
man.
Hey, you got third place
in this poetry contest?
- Yeah...fuck that thing, man.
- What do you get for third
place?
- Nothin'.
- Alright, well even more of a
reason
to come celebrate, ya know?
One last party, one last hurrah.
(groaning)
(upbeat rock music)
- [Travis] Cheers!
- [Girls] Cheers!
- You guys live around here?
- Mmhmm, yeah. We're not far.
- [Travis] Nice.
What do you guys do?
- Just chill.
- Yeah, we just chill.
- [Travis] Just chill?
- What do you do?
- I mean I chill, I write,
I do a little this and that.
- Oh yeah? What kind of writing
- You're a writer?
- Yeah, I mean, you know, I
don't like to
talk about it much, but--
(vomiting)
(rock music)
I want to buy a condo downtown
I want to buy a condo downtown
- I know we never really that
close, man,
but I'm gonna miss you.
- What do you mean, man?
We hung out like every day.
- Yeah, true.
I'm really gonna miss you, man.
- I'll miss you too.
You'll be all right.
- And you got third place in
that thing man, that's huge!
They want to see more of your
stuff!
I haven't gotten third place in
anything.
- Well do you submit your stuff
to places?
- No.
- Yeah, you gotta do that.
- Nah, I gotta get better first,
man.
I think I'm gonna go to grad
school.
I'm gonna get that
financial aid going again
and, depending on the MFA
program,
that's like another three years.
You know, I just gotta take the
G.E.D.
- I think you mean G.R.E., man.
- Yeah, right, whatever, G.R.E.
- You ever heard of a J-O-B,
bro?
- Hey, remember me?
From the party?
- What the hell, man, when
did you learn to speak sign?
- Dude, my Aunt's deaf.
Second language.
- My number one hire.
I never stop learning new
things about this guy.
- Whoa.
Oh, look who's here, man.
- Aw, what the hell.
Get me out of here
This moment!
Yeah!
- Alright, I'm getting out of
here, man.
- Alright, I'm gonna stick
around, dude.
I think this chick over
here is feeling on me.
- Which one?
- The one with the half shaved
head and the neck tattoo.
(can crushing)
- All right, do you.
I gotta go.
- [Travis] All right, be safe.
I wanna buy a condo downtown
I wanna buy a condo downtown
- Fuck you!
- Oh, thank you, man.
(crying)
- Scumbag.
(coughing)
(sighing)
(car approaching)
- What?
- Did you just throw up in that
cactus?
- No.
Why?
What are you doing, are you
crying?
- No.
Come on, get in.
I'll give you a ride.
- Nah, I'm good.
Thank you.
- Andy.
- [Andy] What?
- Please, just let me.
(sighing deeply)
(car door closing)
(crying)
- Hey.
Hey.
Hey, listen.
Hey.
Look you're not deaf, okay?
You're not.
You're just not deaf.
It's okay.
You're probably never gonna be
deaf.
You're gonna be all right.
You're gonna move past all of
this.
And me.
I mean, you're gonna do better
than me.
Not to me, but to you.
And people like you.
You'll be better off.
Believe me.
How do you say goodbye in sign?
(door slamming)
(melancholy guitar music)
(rain falling)
(reverse guitar music)
(door slamming)
(birds chirping)
(door opening)
- Hey, man.
How'd you do?
You guys know each other?
Small town.
Well, we're gonna get some
breakfast.
You wanna come?
(door slamming)
(light folk music)
It's been hard out on the
highway
In my mind I'm in Lafayette
Life was made just to be a
memory
So I'll take all I can get
All I hear are echoes
Echoes of days gone by
Like an old familiar song
Echoes of days gone by
Those days are gone
(knocking on door)
All I hear are echoes
Echoes of days gone by
Like an old familiar song
Echoes of days gone by
Those days are gone
(dryer starting)
(crickets chirping)
(distant train horn blowing)
(dryer rattling)
(train horn blowing louder)
(dryer rattling louder and
louder)
(knocking on door)
- What?
- Hey, you wanna blow some
grass and listen to The Eagles?
- Nah, man.
I gotta do some more
organizing around here.
- Alright, well let me
know if you change your mind.
I'll be out back.
- I will.
(sighing)
(knocking on door)
What?
(knocking on door)
What's up, man?
- Hey.
- Go away.
- I'm not leaving.
- [Andy] Well, I am.
I'm leaving tomorrow.
So just go, all right?
- [Misty] I'm leaving tomorrow
too.
- Cool, well, you can leave now.
Thanks, see ya!
- [Misty] Can I please come in?
- [Andy] No!
- [Misty] Why not?
- Cause I don't need
the emotional overhead
of all of that right now.
- Of what?
- Of you, all right?
Of all of this.
I need me and this RV.
That's it.
And maybe a dog that we
find somewhere along the way
to love us.
- Andy.
- Of all the beds you
could have ended up in
in this town, you had to end up
in mine.
- Look, I'm just glad that I
found you.
Aren't you?
- Look, I went back with my
boyfriend,
my ex-boyfriend, and it
was a huge mistake, okay?
So I fled.
And then I met him out and
we just started talking
and he was being really
nice and I was exhausted.
So yes, I went home with him.
I did.
I did that.
Look, I'm leaving tomorrow.
Where are you going?
- I don't know.
Anywhere that's not fucking
here.
- Can I please come in?
I won't hurt you or anything.
- Yeah, okay, Misty.
Oh wait.
That's not your real name.
You gave me some fake stripper
name
or something like the whole
thing was a fake thing for you.
- No, no, no it wasn't.
It was real.
That's why.
That's why I got scared.
And because I didn't want to let
you down.
- I'm Sarah.
- Sarah?
- Yeah, Sarah.
What?
What? That doesn't fit your
whole weird idealization of me?
You can't do that.
- Do what?
- Idealize me like that.
Like you did.
- I can't help it.
- Well, it isn't fair.
It's like I'm this
sacred, virgin lovething,
or something, that I'm not.
I will never live up to it,
Andy,
cause I'm just a person,
like you, who likes you.
And I loved your poem, so much.
And your blood.
And, not like this matters,
because I'm not your girlfriend
and you don't have any
claim over me or anything,
but nothing happened with him.
- What?
- He just cried a lot and--
and I cried too.
And we -- I don't know, we just
cried together
until we fell asleep.
And so what if I fucked him?
I've fucked a lot of guys!
(sighing)
Can I please come in?
- What's the point?
- 'Cause I heard about this
thing
and we should go do it,
together.
- What thing?
- It's a sleep study in Paris.
And they just want to monitor
our dreams.
And our brain activity.
(laughing)
It's 10 grand!
Per person.
For two weeks.
And they fly you out there
and you could stay up to like a
month
before they fly you back.
And they want couples.
And I don't know, maybe
it will work between us,
maybe it won't, but at
least we'll get to see
about each other and see some of
the world
and it'll be an adventure.
We just gotta get to Florida.
(laughing)
I like you.
And I want to go on an adventure
with you.
So what do you say?
Can I come in?
Or what?
(sighing)
- What's that? My money?
- Yeah.
- [Ben] Keep it.
- Really?
- Ah, gimme half.
- Really?
- No, man.
Definitely not.
It's the real world. Gimme my
money.
And what's up with her car over
there?
Is it going to sit there
the rest of my life or what?
- [Andy] I don't know.
- [Ben] I'll give ya $250 for
it.
- What do you think?
- About what?
- About the car?
I'll give you three for it.
- Three what?
- $300.
- For my car?
- [Ben] Yeah.
- It's all yours, man.
- Make it four and we'll call it
a day.
- Deal.
Here.
For some food and gas and
stuff for you and her,
you're gonna need it.
- Really?
- Yeah.
'Cause you came through on that
too.
And I like ya.
- [Andy] I love you too, man.
- You're a good boy.
She seems all right.
Be careful.
- [Andy] Alright.
- Later, man.
- [Andy] Later.
- Don't be takin any wooden
nickels
out there while you're sellin'
your soul.
- I won't.
- [Travis] Oooh, yeah.
- [Both] Ah.
- [Andy] God.
Y'all be good, alright?
- We will.
(laughing)
- Bye guys.
- [Ben] Hang on, Andy.
(sighing deeply)
Hey man, you let me know when
you get
wherever the hell you're going,
alright?
- I will, man.
Later.
- [All] Later.
(laughing)
(car sputtering)
(car starting)
(Sarah laughing)
(sighing)
- Here we go.
(horn honking)
(Sarah laughing)
(upbeat rock music)