Highway To Hell (1991) Movie Script
Hey, yeah
Oh, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Ooh, yeah
Well, yeah
Yeah
Oh, yeah
Mmm, yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Hey
Hey
Hey
Hey
Yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
I thought it was
the bride that...
Shh!
That cop
is watching us.
Don't point at him,
Charlie.
Relax. Why would he?
Well, think about it.
I mean, if your
parents freaked out,
they'd call
the cops, right?
I mean, what
we're doing, it's...
Technically,
it's illegal.
Don't worry about it.
Nobody knows we're
getting married, Charlie.
It's okay.
No one.[LAUGHS] Yeah.
Except for my mother.
You what?
I'm sorry,
I wrote her a note.
I didn't want her
to worry about me.
[SIGHS]
[WHISPERING] We better
get out of here. Come on.
Sorry.
[WHINES]
Good dog.
Well done.
[CHATTERING ON POLICE RADIO]
CHARLIE: God, that cop
is right behind us.
Charlie, it's just
a coincidence.
Let's find out
for sure.
Okay, okay, okay,
you were right.
I was right.You know what?
If your mom did
blow the whistle,
we'd be a lot safer
takin' this back road
to Vegas.
[SIGHING] I don't know,
Charlie. It's just...
It's dark.
Rachel?
What?
Trust me. Come here.
Mmm.
Get in the car.
[SIGHS]
Wait, Charlie.
Charlie?
Mmm?
Not in a Ford Pinto.
Just close your eyes
and picture a Porsche.
Look, I want this
as much as you do,
it just isn't right.
Being in our
own great big bed,
no parents,
no curfews,
no frustrations.
[SIGHING]
And no clothes.
Uh, yes. Yes.[LAUGHS]
Definitely no clothes.
[ENGINE STARTING]
What do you
need, son?
Could you
fill her up, please?
Unleaded.
Thanks.
What do I owe ya?
Gas is $8,
and advice is free.
You headin'
for Las Vegas?
Why do you ask?
Well, it's an old road
and needs a lot of repair.
You'd be a lot safer
on the Interstate.
Well, we'll be
all right. $8.
Thank you.
Back, Ben. Back.
Uh-huh.
[ENGINE SPUTTERING]
Oh, Charlie.
I got it.
Oh, no.
Thank you.
I took shop
in high school.
[CHUCKLES]
Wrong car for this
kind of road, honey.
[GRUNTS] You always
open this late?
Don't sleep much
at my age.
It's a biological fact.
Back when I had
all those things
in the world to do,
I had to waste
my time sleeping.
Now, I got the hours
and not much to fill 'em.
[ENGINE STARTING]
You kids look
pretty tired.
I got a cabin out back,
nice bed, clean sheets.
Won't cost you a cent,
and I'll guarantee
your privacy.
Oh, thank you,
but we had our hearts set
on getting there tonight,
thanks.
Well, listen, son,
you keep your eye out
for two Joshua Trees.
If you get sleepy,
don't pull over
till you pass
the second one!
You hear?
What was that
about trees?
Who knows?
Guy was like
really weird.
He's just lonely.
Yeah, well, we both know
what that's like.
Mmm-hmm.
Navy brats
see the world,
but we lived
like gypsies.
I didn't mind
that so much,
till I met you.
[STUTTERS] You make me feel
really good about myself.
Rachel?
[LAUGHS] Oh, great!
I pour my guts out to you,
and you're asleep.
What do you think, Ben?
Ben?
Okay, okay, okay.
[LAUGHS]
I'm driving through
the middle of nowhere,
and I'm talking
to myself.
[TIRES SCREECHING]
[SIREN WAILING]
[BOTH PANTING]
Where the hell
did he come from?
[SIZZLING]CHARLIE: Damn it!
Jesus!
What, uh, seems
to be the problem,
officer?
What's he doing?
[BEN GROWLING]
RACHEL: Charlie?
Charlie! Charlie!CHARLIE: Hey! Hey!
[BEN BARKING]Hey! Hey! Hey!
Hey! What the hell
are you doing?
Charlie! Charlie!
[BEN WHINES]Charlie!
What are you doing?
RACHEL: What do you want?
Let me go!
No!
Charlie! Ow!
[GRUNTING]
Help!
Let go of me!
[GRUNTING]
[CAR ENGINE STARTING]
[ENGINE POWERING UP]
[ENGINE WHIZZING]
[WHIMPERING]
Rachel?
Rachel!
Why didn't you want us
going out on that road?
[PANTING] What was
that about trees?
You wouldn't believe
me if I told ya.
What happened
to your girlfriend?
He took her!
Who took her?Why don't you tell me?
There's two roads
down there.
There's a road
within a road.
You can't see it.
It's there, all right.
I been there.
Where?
The highway to hell.
The highway to hell?
This is not a joke!
I am not kidding!
Okay, okay, okay.
Okay, can you
please just tell me
where there's a phone?
You can't phone hell, boy.
You can drive there,
but you can't phone hell.
They're all young and
every one of 'em pretty.
They just didn't
disappear.
I know where they went.
The Sergeant took 'em.
CHARLIE:
Who is this Sergeant?
The Hellcop.
This was Clara.
Pretty as
the day is long.
God rest her.
She made me this.
She could make
any old piece of trash
look like a work of art.
This was
a piece of hubcap.
Way back,
about 50 years ago,
we drove out
from Oklahoma.
I was gonna find work
so we could get married.
She never made it.
In the middle
of the night,
I fell asleep drivin'
that God forsaken road.
Did Clara
die in the crash?
No, she disappeared.
I never did find Clara,
but I've never
given up hope.
But you can do
more than hope.
You've got to catch him
before he reaches Hell City.
You'll need this.
It's no ordinary gun.
I'll get you some shells.
I'm sorry I don't have
any more of them.
This highway to hell,
how do I get there?
You might get to hell
in that Pinto, boy,
but this one will
get you back.
It's beautiful.
[GRUNTS]
You better take
this antifreeze.
It's got to be hotter
in hell down there.
It's all right, Ben.
You know, you're gonna
have to pass through
to the other side
by sunrise.
If you're not back
in 24 hours, you're
stuck there for eternity.
You know,
this whole thing
is really my fault.
She didn't even want
to take that road.
You just drive
back and forth
between them two trees.
Believe.
Really believe.
That'll pass you through.
Good luck,
and Godspeed.
Hey, I forgot!
Son!
There's somethin'
in that car,
somethin' special!
[SIGHS]
Okay, okay.
[TIRES SCREECHING]
[SIREN WAILING]
All right. Okay.
[PANTING] Okay.
Okay, okay, okay.
Now, then what's the...
Where is she,
you son of a bitch?
Oh, shit.Shit!
[SIREN WAILING]
[BARKING]
I believe.
I believe!
I believe!
I believe!
[YELLING] I believe!
[BRAKES SCREECHING]
FEMALE DISPATCHER:
What year did you say
that car was?
Jimmy?
Come in, Jimmy?
What year was it?
Come in, Jimmy.
[RUMBLING]
[PANTING]
Stay, Ben.
[WHINING]
Well, we're not
in Kansas anymore.
Who are you?
Where are you taking me?
[PEOPLE GROANING]
Sergeant Bedlam.
What a fine surprise.
Hello.
Perhaps I can interest you
in an omelet.
Okay, in a bit of a rush.
I can understand that.
I'll just cook you up
a fine head cheese omelet.
MAN: Hey, Hellcop.
How ya doin',
sweetheart?
Hot enough for ya?
Gonna be a real
scorcher today.
Oh, I remember
when I was a little girl,
it was so hot,
my parakeet got stuck
to the bars of its cage.
[LAUGHING]
Poor little fella.
He just melted.
We had to scrape him
off with a spoon.
[LAUGHING]
Did I ever tell you
about my third
husband Klaus?
He caught me in bed
with another guy.
We were going at it
pretty hot and heavy.
Just want a touch,
that's all.
And I says to my husband,
I says, "Don't worry
about this guy
lying on top of me.
"It's okay,
he's a doctor!"
To the rim,
to the rim.
That's a joke.
A funny joke.
Well, laugh,
if it's funny, laugh!
[CACKLING]
[CRYING] Coffee please,
coffee.
Well, honey,
why didn't you say
you wanted coffee?
We got java,
we got mocha java...
[ALL GROANING]
MAN: Get out of the way.
Mr. Hellcop,
can you do this?
[ULULATING]
Hey, there's something
behind you.
Boo-boo-boo-boo.
[LAUGHS] I got his mud!
Get out of my way!
I got his mud!
I got his mud!
[SCREAMING]
[SIZZLING]
Who needs mesquite
when you've got concrete?
Please, tell me
how to get out of here!
Uh, I don't know.
But I do know
that this steak
has your name on it.
Ugh!What?
Is it that
you're a vegetarian?
Because I'm telling you
this tastes very similar
to chicken.
Oh, Hellcop.
Hellcop, sir.
You know
that little blonde
you came in with.
She just took off.
Just like that,
she just flew out.
[CHUCKLING]
MAN: See you later.
That way.
She went that way.
I offered her
my finest cut of beef,
and she snubbed me!
Vegetarian bitch!
[PANTING]
[MOTORBIKES APPROACHING]
[ALL EXCLAIM]
Where you goin'?
Would you please help me?
You've got to get me
away from him.
Okay, okay.
But whatever
he's gonna do,
we're gonna do it
twice as bad.
[LAUGHS]
Don't move.
Anyway, where you gonna
run to down here, huh?
There's only
one real way out.
[SOBBING]
Would you please
tell me how?
He sends you back
to do his work.
Hmm?
My old lady.
[LAUGHS]
What? Huh?
Embarrassing, big guy,
embarrassing!
A girl from up there
getting away from you
on your own turf!
I mean,
if he ever found out,
you'd be in big shit.
Tell you what
I'm gonna do, okay?
I'll give her back,
and I won't say
how you messed up.
But you owe me.
Deal? Hmm?
Well, I'll take that
for a yes.
[LAUGHING]
Bastard!
Down here,
that's a compliment.
[LAUGHS]
[WHISTLES]
Hi, need a passenger?
That depends.
Can you tell me
the quickest way to hell?
Sex, drugs,
rock 'n roll.
I've gotta
catch a cop before
he gets to Hell City.
Oh, Hellcop. Huh!Yeah.
Dream on, man.
No way.
You just better hope
he doesn't get you.
[STUTTERING] Well,
I'll take my chances.
He's got
my girlfriend.
So, you need me.
Why do I need you?
Because I know where
Hellcop takes 'em.
Oh, okay.
All right, get in.
Well, there's
just one thing.
Have you got
room for two?
[LAUGHING MANIACALLY]
[SCREAMING]
[GROWLING]
You scream!
We all scream!
I'm gonna
scoop your brains!
Now you can scoop
your own brains.
COOK: Hey, how about
a little hot java
for the long trip?
[WOOSHING]
That's quite a little
hand gesture.
[WOOSHING]
[ENGINE POWERING UP]
[HONKING]
[TIRES SCREECHING]
Prime,
grade A beef here.
Raw it might be,
but we can
cook it for ya.
CHARLIE: Hey, hey,
please, let me go!
Hellcop's getting away!
What's going on?
You know
this guy's alive?
So am I.Yeah, but
he's different.
He's after the Sergeant,
so he's dead meat anyway.
Hey, come on,
he just left.
I gotta catch him!
Come on!What's your name?
Charlie Sykes.
Charlie Sykes!
Charlie Sykes!
Charlie!
Charlie Sykes, you're after
the Sergeant, Charlie?
You're crazy!
I like that, Charlie.
Why are you chasing him?
He's got my girlfriend.
Oh. Hmm.
Okay, Charlie,
but you owe me.
Whether you're dead
the next time
I see you or not,
you owe me.
Agreed?
Agreed.Agreed?
Agreed!Agreed?
Agreed!
Agreed. [LAUGHS]
Let him go.
[STARTING ENGINE]
Clara?
Come back!
All you can eat!
No charge!
[ROCK SONG PLAYING]
Charlie!
Help!CHARLIE: Stop the car!
[BEN BARKS]
CHARLIE: Pull over!
God damn!
Shoot him, Charlie!
No, Rachel,
I can't shoot him
with you there!
CHARLIE: Come on!
Let her go!
Pull over!
Hold on, Rachel!
Hold on!
Grab him, Rachel!
Grab him!
CHARLIE: Rachel,
grab his head!
Rachel!
Uh, hello?
MAN: Yes, Motorist Aid.
What seems
to be the problem?
Oh, well plenty.
My car's out of oil
and won't start.
Really?Really.
Do you think
I could get some help
down here, please?
Now, you're saying
it's all out of oil
and the car won't start?
Yeah.
Sounds like
you're walking, geek!
Get those shoes on
and start doing it!
Walk! Walk!
Walk! Walk!
Hey, that's my car!
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Hey!
Hey, this is my car!
Hey, no harm intended.
I've got a little
salvage business
up the road a piece.
I usually keep
what I find.
But since you say
it's your car,
do you want me
to haul it in
and fix it up for you?
[STUTTERING] Yeah, if you
could just take a look,
that would help me a lot.
Didn't say
I'd look at it.
Said I'd fix it.
Not doing you any good
sitting out here
like a big, dead
white elephant,
now is it?
No.
Hop in.
He can ride in
the back with Adam.
There you go.
What a great dog
you have.
Hey, fella.
What's his name?
It's Mr. Ben.
Adam, right?
Right.Charlie.
Nice to meet you,
Charlie.
Beezle.
[BEN BARKS]
There you go.
It's all right, Ben.
Stay put.
After you.
Hey, yeah
Oh, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Ooh, yeah
Well, yeah
Yeah
Hell of a car you got
back there, Charlie.
I haven't seen one like it
in maybe 50 years.
You couldn't be
that old.
[LAUGHS] Feel like it.
It's hard to keep track
of time down here.
[SIGHS]
Hey, uh, could you
speed it up?
I'm kinda in
a hurry here.
I've been tempted,
but the cops down here
can get pretty tough.
Tell me about it.
[CHATTERING ON TV]
There's nothing
I'd rather reach for
than a fire-brewed
bottle of Styx Beer.
Made from
the filthiest waters
from our own River Styx.
Styx Beer is a third
more toxic than any
other regular beer.
The worst beer,
the filthiest beer,
the deadliest beer.
It's Styx Beer.
ANNOUNCER: And now we return
to our feature presentation,
Bowling for Leftovers.
There you go, Charlie.
Right as rain.
How much do I
owe you?
Ah, don't worry about it.
Go to hell to pay.
I might go
for a few beers.
Want to come down
and sink a few?
Uh, hey, no thank you.
Listen, I really
appreciate this, but um,
I'm in a real
big hurry.
Please yourself.
Hey, Beezle,
do you know the way
to Hell City?
Sure.
All roads lead there.
You ever heard
of Hellcop?
Sure I have.
They call him
The Collector.
I don't know why,
but he, uh,
he took my girlfriend.
Is she, uh...
Have you two...
You know what I mean.
[LAUGHS] Of course,
I mean, yeah.
Oh, the only reason
I say is that
Hellcop usually only goes
for beautiful, young, uh,
virgins.
[LAUGHS] Well, um,
she's not a virgin.
[AWKWARDLY] We,
uh, did it in my Pinto.
You'll be all right then.
Thanks.
Come on, Ben.
[HISSING]
I was only sleeping
with my husband's boss
to advance his career.
MAN ON PA: Next.
I was only trying
to help.
I thought he wanted me
to pull the plug.
Next.
Sure, I let little Frances
drink the bleach,
but it's a lesson
she had to learn
for herself.
Next case.
MAN ON PA: We will soon
be paving the way for
those who come after you.
Please form
an orderly line.
[SCREAMING]
Please stay in line
and keep your complaints
to a minimum.
[WOMAN CRYING]
Thank you for your help.
Hi, Charlie.
Oh, hi, Ben.
Hey.
What are you doing?
I'm with you now.
I'm your driving partner.
No, you can't,
you can't come with me.
I can help you
find your girlfriend.
How?
I know where
Hellcop will take her.
You do?
Okay.
Hey, listen, you just stay
out of the way, all right?
It's very dangerous.
Okay?
Okay.
[SIGHS]
MAN ON PA:
Keep your excuses
to yourself.
We don't care.
I don't care.
You don't care.
No one cares.
So, why care.
Thank you.
CHARLIE: Hey, Adam,
how did you
end up in hell?
I was too little
to remember.
But you remember
Cleveland, right?
Look, Adam,
hey, you can trust me.
It was a long time ago,
and my daddy was driving
a station wagon.
I think I was sleeping,
but when I woke up,
Hellcop was there.
And he killed
everyone except me.
Even my dog.
How did Beezle get you?
Hellcop brought me to him.
What does...
What does Beezle do
down here?
Fix stuff.
He's teaching me
to fix stuff, too.
This is my girlfriend.
Her name is Rachel.
She's pretty, Charlie.
We better hurry.
Listen, as soon
as I find her,
we're gonna get
the hell outta here.
Do you want
to go with us?
Yeah, Charlie, I do!
All right, it's a deal.
Cross your heart?
And hope to die.
Let's give 'em hell.
[LAUGHS]
Hit it, Charlie!
Go that way!
Stay. Stay in
the car, Adam.
Okay.
[CHATTERING]
[WOMEN CHATTERING]
Mmm-hmm,
I like that.
[GIVE ME WATER PLAYING]
[CHATTERING]
[MEN YELLING]
[PHONE RINGING]
Hoffa's.
Nah, Jimmy ain't here.
Oh, oh, oh!
Rachel!
RACHEL: Where've you been?
Are you okay?
Are you okay?
No, I'm not!
Ow!
Stand back! Move!
He's here, Charlie!
Shoot him again!
[PEOPLE CLAMORING]
Move, Rachel. Move!
[GROANS]
[PEOPLE CHEERING]
No, Charlie!
Let me go!
[RACHEL GRUNTING]
Let me go!
[DOOR SLAMS]
BEEZLE: Hello, Adam.
ADAM: Hello, Beezle.
Where have you been?
I took a ride
with Charlie
and I was going to
come back, Beezle.
[GROANING]
ADAM:
Charlie made me promise.
Can we still keep it?
We'll see.[GROANING]
BEEZLE: You're leaking
more than oil this time,
Charlie Sykes.
But don't worry,
I can fix anything.
Cars, people,
horse races.
Is he going
to be okay?
That depends.
You promise
not to run away?
Promise?
I promise, Beezle.
Give me your hand.
[DINGS]
Paging Idi Amin!
Idi Amin,
to the white courtesy
telephone, please.
[DINGS]Idi Amin. Idi Amin.
Idi Amin,
to the white courtesy
telephone, please. Idi...
He's not here,
go away!
Get away from here,
you disgusting monkey!
Don't get me wrong,
I love undesirables.
I have nothing against...
[GASPS]
BEEZLE: Charlie!
[CHUCKLES]
Nice to have you back.
How are you feeling?
I don't know.
I can't believe
I'm alive.
Well, you might have been
killed, only the bullet
couldn't pierce your soul.
You've got
a big heart, kid.
Hey, Jimmy?
Come on, let's sit down.
I'm not Hitler!
We've heard that story
before, haven't we?
Once it's explained,
the devil will look
at me and I'll say,
"Goodbye, devil"
and he goes,
"Goodbye, Bob!"
Goddamn it,
I'll never catch up.
You've done
all you can.
Get back in your car,
go back to where
you came from.
There must be
a million girls out there
just like Rachel.
No, you're wrong.
She's the only one
for me.
Where do you think
you're going?
After them.
Maybe he stopped.
Maybe they broke down.
Maybe I still
have a chance.
I know a shortcut
to Hell City.
Where?Nearby.
They call it
the "Road to Nowhere."
In fact I'm 19!
Nineteen years old!
I like to listen
to heavy metal.
I like to sit in my room
and play air guitar.
I like to dance
around the room
in my underwear!
Would you just get over it
and get therapy like I did?
No, I'm not Hitler
and I should not be
sitting at the same table
with the Flintstones!
I can't deal with this.
Do you have a blow dryer?
ATTILA: Do I look like
I have a blow dryer?
CLEOPATRA: Well,
you kind of do
with that hair.
[WOMEN CHATTERING]
[WOMAN WHOOPS]
Charlie!
Hey, buddy, come on.
Let's go get Rachel.
Adam's staying
with me, Charlie.
He's my apprentice.
[YELLING]
ROYCE: Hey, Adam,
want a ride?
Hey, I thought
you said you wanted
to come with me?
Uh-uh, Charlie.
Cross your heart?
I have to stay, Charlie.
[SIGHS] Okay.
I'll see you around, kid.
Hey, thanks a lot.
ROYCE: He's afraid.
I was never afraid.
Hey, you tell me
you're gonna send this
little boy back up?
Royce, I've told you,
it's not healthy to be
so angry all the time.
You don't care.
Of course I care.
But you always walk away.
Every time,
you walk away.
I'm going back up.
I'm going.RANGERS: Going.
The winds of change
are howling my name,
Beezle.
RANGERS: Howling.
Don't be foolish.
Oh, God,
the lost boys from hell.
[EXCLAIMS]
[WHIRRING]
[TIRES SCREECHING]
[MOTORBIKE APPROACHING]
[GRUNTS]
Clara? You're Clara.
Sam is trying
to find you.
She doesn't have
much time, Charlie.
Yeah, I know.
Don't take that road.
It's a shortcut.I know it's the shortcut.
But if you take
the shortcut, Charlie,
you're gonna have
to choose.
And if you choose wrong,
you're gonna be lost.
You and Rachel.
What do you mean?
I made a choice.
I was just
a stupid kid.
I was a dumb kid who
wanted to do something
with my life.
He tempted me
and I took it.
What about Sam?
I thought
I didn't need Sam.
Yeah, well,
Rachel needs me.
Maybe she doesn't,
Charlie.
Maybe she does.
Maybe she doesn't.
[GRUNTS]
[CLOCK CHIMING]
Baby! Oh, God.
Oh, Charlie,
I'm so glad you're here.
Where is he?I don't know.
[MOANS]
Make love to me, Charlie.
If you make love to me,
the devil won't want me
anymore.
I don't know.
I don't know.
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
Ouch!
Charlie?
[GRUNTING]
[GROANING]
[SCREAMING]
[SCREAMING]
[GROANING]
Oh, Rachel.
Make love to me,
Charlie.
I don't know.
Make love to me.I think we should
get out of here.
Come to bed!
[MOANS]
Rachel?Come to bed.
[PANTING]
I want to give you
your bracelet.
Oh.
Mmm.
[GRUNTS]
Make love to me.
Rachel!
[STUTTERS]
Rachel,
we should go now.
It's really only
skin deep, isn't it?
What the...
Come here, baby.
I love you, Charlie.
I love...
[WHIMPERS]
Come to mama.
Ooh, baby.
[MOANING] Oh.
Let's ring bells, Charlie.
Come to mama.
You know I love you.
Be the devil's friend,
Charlie.
[GROANING]
Come on! Come on!
You wanna fight,
come on! Come on!
Come on! Come on,
you wanna fight,
you ugly bitch!
Let's make
the sheets sing.
Oh, Charlie,
I'm a lover,
not a fighter.
Oh...
[SCREAMING]
Sorry, just not my type.
Let's get
out of here, Ben.
[STARTING ENGINE]
WOMAN 1: [ON TV]
Rachel Clark...
WOMAN 2:
This could be your life.
Choice number one
doesn't look so hot.
Barefoot. Pregnant.
Up to your arms
in pizza pies.
You look like
10 pounds of shit
in a five pound bag.
But choice number two,
you could have it all,
Rachel.
Fame. Fortune.
Every note... Sublime!
Just have faith in us,
and forget about
sorry old Charlie Sykes.
Sorry old Charlie Sykes.
[TIRES SCREECHING]
[GASPS]
[EXCLAIMS]
[BARKING]
[GROWLING]
Back to the car, Ben.
Ben, what are you doing?
[BARKING]
I owe you one, buddy.
Back to the car.
What right have you
to cross?
I have no right.
My girlfriend
has been taken to hell,
and I want to save her.
It's too late.
Only the dead
may pass.
She's not dead.
Please. Please,
just allow me to cross.
Rules are meant
to be broken.
But once
you have crossed,
there is no way back.
This is your
place to leave.
But remember,
evil has many faces,
some of which are sweet.
Thank you.
GUARD: Hey, you!
[EXCLAIMING]
Stop!
[GRUNTING]
[VIOLIN PLAYING]
Charlie, I thought
you were dead.
Don't move.
What are you doing?
[EXHALES]
Oh.
Oh, Charlie,
what's wrong with you?
I can't explain it.
I can't explain it.
[CHUCKLES]
Mmm.
Are you okay?
I think you left this
along the way.
Charlie.
[THUDS]
Oh, my God.
Charlie Sykes.
[LAUGHING]
Your name is not
in my book.
Is there a black mark
on your soul?
I don't know
what's happening here,
but I'm taking
Rachel back.
Rachel,
my sweet virgin child,
you'll never keep her
away from me.
You've heard her play?
She can be magnificent
with my help.
She can do anything
she wants.
It is Rachel's choice.
She's going back.
Maybe she
doesn't want to.
I want to go back.
We're going to die
some day anyway.
It's too early now.
We didn't do
anything wrong.
We haven't even
eloped yet.
[CHUCKLES] Precisely
why I like you, dear.
We're still alive.
[SCREAMS]
Are you sure
you're alive,
Charlie Sykes?
Stop it, I love him!
I don't really
need Charlie.
He stinks.
Perhaps I'll let him go.
No, no.
You let Rachel go
and you can keep me.
No. [CHUCKLES]
Then you're gonna
have to kill me.
Haven't you ever
been in love?
I am darkness
made visible.
I am the Prince
of Princes.
I once basked in
the light of God's love.
Then you must know
how we feel.
I know how
everyone feels.
And it is not love.
It is fear
and vanity.
Very well.
Go.
On one condition.
Remember,
don't look back.
[LAUGHING]
Now, we'll have some fun.
When we get out there,
stick by me
and run like the devil.
Charlie, come on.
Ow!You okay?
Don't turn!
Don't look back.
RACHEL: I think
I can open this.
Rachel? Rachel?
We've got company.
You know,
I figured this out.
Charlie, hurry.
Get in!
No key!I'll hot-wire it.
I don't know.
This car wasn't made
in Detroit, you know.
Hurry up!
[ENGINE STARTING]
Drive!
Go on!
We're turning back!
No, Charlie, no!
I know!
I'm turning!
There's no way out!
It just looks that way,
Charlie. Step on it!
There no...Trust me!
[EXCLAIMS]
[BRAKES SQUEALING]
That ought to
slow him down.
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]
Hellcop! Hellcop!
Hellcop! Hellcop!
[SCREAMS]
Wait, wait, wait!
[GRUNTS]
No. Wait, wait...
CHARLIE: Where the hell
did that come from?
Adam?
Adam?
Beezle?
Hello, Charlie.
You've made it.
You're a real player.
I'm proud of you.
And, Rachel,
Charlie's found you.
Do you think
he can keep you?
What are you
talking about?
You better hurry.
Friendly Hellcop
is on his way
even as we speak.
We're taking Adam
with us.
He doesn't belong here.
He doesn't want to go.
Adam?
I promised
I would stay, Charlie.
And I promised
I'd take you with me.
Remember?
You really
meant it, Charlie?
I'll go with you!
Adam, I want you
to stay with me.
No, he's going
with us.
I may not be carrying
a pitchfork, Charlie,
but I think you know
who I am.
Don't make me
lose my temper.
Well, we just
met the Devil.
One of my many,
many manifestations.
But you helped me.
You saved my life.
People live,
people die.
They come down here.
I've got infinite levels
of hell for them.
What you've seen
is nothing.
A mere kindergarten.
It's so easy for me now.
People have lost
their willpower,
their hope.
They think the world is
going to come to an end.
[CHUCKLES]
Wishful thinking.
The world will last
a long, long, long,
long time.
But you, Charlie,
you haven't lost
your willpower.
You've got guts.
That's why I like you.
But you can't
have Adam.
Adam is not a game.
Neither was Attila,
Napoleon, Adolf.
Adam will go back
when I send him.
Adam wants
to go back now.
And I want to
take him with us.
What are your terms?
We'll race the Hellcop.
If we make it out of hell
before he catches us,
then we go free.
If we don't,
you can keep Adam.
Not interested.
RACHEL: Me.
BEEZLE:
What did you say?
And me.
You'll come of your
own free will?
Yes.
It's a deal.
Have you met Royce?
A great disappointment
to me.
He was once a part of
my scheme of things.
Like Adam, he is one
of my adopted sons.
I'd like a child
with Rachel.
[GASPS]
I'd like a boy.
I don't always
get what I want.
[ENGINE STARTING]
There's your
exit point.
If you make it,
you're free.
If not, you're mine.
Say hello to Sam
for me.
Hey, Charlie, suppose
I made you quarterback
of the Rams,
would you give me
Rachel and Adam?
You know, if you'd
have said the Niners,
I might've said yeah.
But you didn't,
so go to hell.
Fasten your seatbelts!
Beezle?
Royce, what are you
doing to Clara?
She's not looking well.
Don't change
the subject.
You're letting
them go.
They won't make it.
But you're giving
them a chance.
When do I get
to go back up?
Don't hold your breath.
You owe me
a chance, Beezle!
What have I been
doing here?
I'm better than those
God-fearing, sex-starved,
TV evangelists!
I'm the guy!
I'm the best!
I'm the one!
You're not.
You were a great
disappointment to me.
Kill 'em!
RANGERS: No way!
RANGER: Come on,
let's get out of here.
Come back!
Come back!
You owe me!
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]
Royce, face the truth.
Eternity's ours.
Well, eternity
lasts too long.
And if that boy's
going back up,
so am I!
You owe me!
To my legions!
Uh-oh, it's Royce.
He doesn't like me
too much.
ROYCE: Hey, Charlie.
Stop the car!
Stop the car, Charlie!
Come on!
[EXCLAIMS] Go!Stop the car, Charlie!
You're dead, sonny boy.
You lose!
Give me the gun!
Stop that,
stop pulling away!
You're not
going anywhere!
[GRUNTS]
The kid's mine!
Let them live!
Come on!
[YELLING]
RACHEL: Charlie?
I know, I know![RACHEL SCREAMING]
Hold on, Adam!
Come on,
we're almost there!
Do it!
Go! Go! Go!
Here!The gun,
give me the gun!
Did you get him?I think so.
What's he doing?
I don't know.
Reload! Reload!
RACHEL: Go!
RACHEL: Charlie!CHARLIE: What do we do?
Shoot him in the
glasses, Charlie!
What?
If you break his glasses,
it'll kill him.
Why didn't you
tell me that before?
ADAM: 'Cause now
I'm on your side.
[GUN FIRING]
Reload!There's only
one bullet left!
Give it to me!
Here!
It's on the floor,
get it!
I can't find it!You gonna have to,
get it!
[FUEL TRICKLING]
God, help us.
Come on, Rachel!
It's not under the seat!Find it! Find it!
It's now or never!
What are you doing
down there?
I see a switch,
I think I know
what it is!
[ENGINE POWERING UP]
[BREAKS SCREECHING]
Oh, my God!
We made it!
We're back!
We made it!
Yes! [LAUGHS]We're back!
We made it!
I made it!
[WHOOPING]
[ALL LAUGHING]
Get out of
the goddamn car!
Put your goddamn
hands up, now!
[CONTINUES LAUGHING]
Come here!
You are in a whole world
of shit, boy!
Want to tell me what's
so goddamn funny?
CHARLIE: [LAUGHING]
I'm sorry.
I thought that
you were someone.
[ALARM RINGING]
[CHUCKLES]
[SIGHS]
[EXCLAIMS]
CHARLIE: Uncuff me!
Uncuff me!
COP: Shut up! Shut up!
I mean it.
Shut up!
You don't understand!
You don't understand!
I said shut up.
That's the cop
from hell!
He'll kill us both,
damn it!
Come on,
what kind of cop
could do that?
Look at him!
COP: Stop right there
or I'll shoot.
[CHARLIE GRUNTING]
[GRUNTS]
[SCREAMS]
[GAGGING]
[PANTING]
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.I found it.
Yes, you did.
Yes, you did.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
Yes, you did.
[MAYBE THE NEXT TIME
PLAYING]
You were shaken
by your pride
No one hears
your confession
Now that she's gone
Now that you lied
Maybe the next time
You'll get what you want
Maybe the next time
Maybe the next time
She won't be that strong
You may find that
she'll cross that line
Maybe the next time
Haunted by your promises
Lost at your own game
You don't need no honesty
No answer, only a flame
Maybe the next time
You'll get what you want
Maybe the next time
Maybe the next time
She won't be that strong
You may find that
she'll cross that line
Maybe the next time
Maybe the next time
You'll get what you want
Maybe the next time
Maybe the next time
She won't be that strong
Maybe the next time
Maybe the next time
Maybe the next time
Maybe the next time
Maybe the next time
Hey
Hey
Hey
Hey
Yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Hey
Hey
Hey
Hey
Yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Ooh, yeah
Well, yeah
Yeah
Oh, yeah
Mmm, yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Hey
Hey
Hey
Hey
Yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
I thought it was
the bride that...
Shh!
That cop
is watching us.
Don't point at him,
Charlie.
Relax. Why would he?
Well, think about it.
I mean, if your
parents freaked out,
they'd call
the cops, right?
I mean, what
we're doing, it's...
Technically,
it's illegal.
Don't worry about it.
Nobody knows we're
getting married, Charlie.
It's okay.
No one.[LAUGHS] Yeah.
Except for my mother.
You what?
I'm sorry,
I wrote her a note.
I didn't want her
to worry about me.
[SIGHS]
[WHISPERING] We better
get out of here. Come on.
Sorry.
[WHINES]
Good dog.
Well done.
[CHATTERING ON POLICE RADIO]
CHARLIE: God, that cop
is right behind us.
Charlie, it's just
a coincidence.
Let's find out
for sure.
Okay, okay, okay,
you were right.
I was right.You know what?
If your mom did
blow the whistle,
we'd be a lot safer
takin' this back road
to Vegas.
[SIGHING] I don't know,
Charlie. It's just...
It's dark.
Rachel?
What?
Trust me. Come here.
Mmm.
Get in the car.
[SIGHS]
Wait, Charlie.
Charlie?
Mmm?
Not in a Ford Pinto.
Just close your eyes
and picture a Porsche.
Look, I want this
as much as you do,
it just isn't right.
Being in our
own great big bed,
no parents,
no curfews,
no frustrations.
[SIGHING]
And no clothes.
Uh, yes. Yes.[LAUGHS]
Definitely no clothes.
[ENGINE STARTING]
What do you
need, son?
Could you
fill her up, please?
Unleaded.
Thanks.
What do I owe ya?
Gas is $8,
and advice is free.
You headin'
for Las Vegas?
Why do you ask?
Well, it's an old road
and needs a lot of repair.
You'd be a lot safer
on the Interstate.
Well, we'll be
all right. $8.
Thank you.
Back, Ben. Back.
Uh-huh.
[ENGINE SPUTTERING]
Oh, Charlie.
I got it.
Oh, no.
Thank you.
I took shop
in high school.
[CHUCKLES]
Wrong car for this
kind of road, honey.
[GRUNTS] You always
open this late?
Don't sleep much
at my age.
It's a biological fact.
Back when I had
all those things
in the world to do,
I had to waste
my time sleeping.
Now, I got the hours
and not much to fill 'em.
[ENGINE STARTING]
You kids look
pretty tired.
I got a cabin out back,
nice bed, clean sheets.
Won't cost you a cent,
and I'll guarantee
your privacy.
Oh, thank you,
but we had our hearts set
on getting there tonight,
thanks.
Well, listen, son,
you keep your eye out
for two Joshua Trees.
If you get sleepy,
don't pull over
till you pass
the second one!
You hear?
What was that
about trees?
Who knows?
Guy was like
really weird.
He's just lonely.
Yeah, well, we both know
what that's like.
Mmm-hmm.
Navy brats
see the world,
but we lived
like gypsies.
I didn't mind
that so much,
till I met you.
[STUTTERS] You make me feel
really good about myself.
Rachel?
[LAUGHS] Oh, great!
I pour my guts out to you,
and you're asleep.
What do you think, Ben?
Ben?
Okay, okay, okay.
[LAUGHS]
I'm driving through
the middle of nowhere,
and I'm talking
to myself.
[TIRES SCREECHING]
[SIREN WAILING]
[BOTH PANTING]
Where the hell
did he come from?
[SIZZLING]CHARLIE: Damn it!
Jesus!
What, uh, seems
to be the problem,
officer?
What's he doing?
[BEN GROWLING]
RACHEL: Charlie?
Charlie! Charlie!CHARLIE: Hey! Hey!
[BEN BARKING]Hey! Hey! Hey!
Hey! What the hell
are you doing?
Charlie! Charlie!
[BEN WHINES]Charlie!
What are you doing?
RACHEL: What do you want?
Let me go!
No!
Charlie! Ow!
[GRUNTING]
Help!
Let go of me!
[GRUNTING]
[CAR ENGINE STARTING]
[ENGINE POWERING UP]
[ENGINE WHIZZING]
[WHIMPERING]
Rachel?
Rachel!
Why didn't you want us
going out on that road?
[PANTING] What was
that about trees?
You wouldn't believe
me if I told ya.
What happened
to your girlfriend?
He took her!
Who took her?Why don't you tell me?
There's two roads
down there.
There's a road
within a road.
You can't see it.
It's there, all right.
I been there.
Where?
The highway to hell.
The highway to hell?
This is not a joke!
I am not kidding!
Okay, okay, okay.
Okay, can you
please just tell me
where there's a phone?
You can't phone hell, boy.
You can drive there,
but you can't phone hell.
They're all young and
every one of 'em pretty.
They just didn't
disappear.
I know where they went.
The Sergeant took 'em.
CHARLIE:
Who is this Sergeant?
The Hellcop.
This was Clara.
Pretty as
the day is long.
God rest her.
She made me this.
She could make
any old piece of trash
look like a work of art.
This was
a piece of hubcap.
Way back,
about 50 years ago,
we drove out
from Oklahoma.
I was gonna find work
so we could get married.
She never made it.
In the middle
of the night,
I fell asleep drivin'
that God forsaken road.
Did Clara
die in the crash?
No, she disappeared.
I never did find Clara,
but I've never
given up hope.
But you can do
more than hope.
You've got to catch him
before he reaches Hell City.
You'll need this.
It's no ordinary gun.
I'll get you some shells.
I'm sorry I don't have
any more of them.
This highway to hell,
how do I get there?
You might get to hell
in that Pinto, boy,
but this one will
get you back.
It's beautiful.
[GRUNTS]
You better take
this antifreeze.
It's got to be hotter
in hell down there.
It's all right, Ben.
You know, you're gonna
have to pass through
to the other side
by sunrise.
If you're not back
in 24 hours, you're
stuck there for eternity.
You know,
this whole thing
is really my fault.
She didn't even want
to take that road.
You just drive
back and forth
between them two trees.
Believe.
Really believe.
That'll pass you through.
Good luck,
and Godspeed.
Hey, I forgot!
Son!
There's somethin'
in that car,
somethin' special!
[SIGHS]
Okay, okay.
[TIRES SCREECHING]
[SIREN WAILING]
All right. Okay.
[PANTING] Okay.
Okay, okay, okay.
Now, then what's the...
Where is she,
you son of a bitch?
Oh, shit.Shit!
[SIREN WAILING]
[BARKING]
I believe.
I believe!
I believe!
I believe!
[YELLING] I believe!
[BRAKES SCREECHING]
FEMALE DISPATCHER:
What year did you say
that car was?
Jimmy?
Come in, Jimmy?
What year was it?
Come in, Jimmy.
[RUMBLING]
[PANTING]
Stay, Ben.
[WHINING]
Well, we're not
in Kansas anymore.
Who are you?
Where are you taking me?
[PEOPLE GROANING]
Sergeant Bedlam.
What a fine surprise.
Hello.
Perhaps I can interest you
in an omelet.
Okay, in a bit of a rush.
I can understand that.
I'll just cook you up
a fine head cheese omelet.
MAN: Hey, Hellcop.
How ya doin',
sweetheart?
Hot enough for ya?
Gonna be a real
scorcher today.
Oh, I remember
when I was a little girl,
it was so hot,
my parakeet got stuck
to the bars of its cage.
[LAUGHING]
Poor little fella.
He just melted.
We had to scrape him
off with a spoon.
[LAUGHING]
Did I ever tell you
about my third
husband Klaus?
He caught me in bed
with another guy.
We were going at it
pretty hot and heavy.
Just want a touch,
that's all.
And I says to my husband,
I says, "Don't worry
about this guy
lying on top of me.
"It's okay,
he's a doctor!"
To the rim,
to the rim.
That's a joke.
A funny joke.
Well, laugh,
if it's funny, laugh!
[CACKLING]
[CRYING] Coffee please,
coffee.
Well, honey,
why didn't you say
you wanted coffee?
We got java,
we got mocha java...
[ALL GROANING]
MAN: Get out of the way.
Mr. Hellcop,
can you do this?
[ULULATING]
Hey, there's something
behind you.
Boo-boo-boo-boo.
[LAUGHS] I got his mud!
Get out of my way!
I got his mud!
I got his mud!
[SCREAMING]
[SIZZLING]
Who needs mesquite
when you've got concrete?
Please, tell me
how to get out of here!
Uh, I don't know.
But I do know
that this steak
has your name on it.
Ugh!What?
Is it that
you're a vegetarian?
Because I'm telling you
this tastes very similar
to chicken.
Oh, Hellcop.
Hellcop, sir.
You know
that little blonde
you came in with.
She just took off.
Just like that,
she just flew out.
[CHUCKLING]
MAN: See you later.
That way.
She went that way.
I offered her
my finest cut of beef,
and she snubbed me!
Vegetarian bitch!
[PANTING]
[MOTORBIKES APPROACHING]
[ALL EXCLAIM]
Where you goin'?
Would you please help me?
You've got to get me
away from him.
Okay, okay.
But whatever
he's gonna do,
we're gonna do it
twice as bad.
[LAUGHS]
Don't move.
Anyway, where you gonna
run to down here, huh?
There's only
one real way out.
[SOBBING]
Would you please
tell me how?
He sends you back
to do his work.
Hmm?
My old lady.
[LAUGHS]
What? Huh?
Embarrassing, big guy,
embarrassing!
A girl from up there
getting away from you
on your own turf!
I mean,
if he ever found out,
you'd be in big shit.
Tell you what
I'm gonna do, okay?
I'll give her back,
and I won't say
how you messed up.
But you owe me.
Deal? Hmm?
Well, I'll take that
for a yes.
[LAUGHING]
Bastard!
Down here,
that's a compliment.
[LAUGHS]
[WHISTLES]
Hi, need a passenger?
That depends.
Can you tell me
the quickest way to hell?
Sex, drugs,
rock 'n roll.
I've gotta
catch a cop before
he gets to Hell City.
Oh, Hellcop. Huh!Yeah.
Dream on, man.
No way.
You just better hope
he doesn't get you.
[STUTTERING] Well,
I'll take my chances.
He's got
my girlfriend.
So, you need me.
Why do I need you?
Because I know where
Hellcop takes 'em.
Oh, okay.
All right, get in.
Well, there's
just one thing.
Have you got
room for two?
[LAUGHING MANIACALLY]
[SCREAMING]
[GROWLING]
You scream!
We all scream!
I'm gonna
scoop your brains!
Now you can scoop
your own brains.
COOK: Hey, how about
a little hot java
for the long trip?
[WOOSHING]
That's quite a little
hand gesture.
[WOOSHING]
[ENGINE POWERING UP]
[HONKING]
[TIRES SCREECHING]
Prime,
grade A beef here.
Raw it might be,
but we can
cook it for ya.
CHARLIE: Hey, hey,
please, let me go!
Hellcop's getting away!
What's going on?
You know
this guy's alive?
So am I.Yeah, but
he's different.
He's after the Sergeant,
so he's dead meat anyway.
Hey, come on,
he just left.
I gotta catch him!
Come on!What's your name?
Charlie Sykes.
Charlie Sykes!
Charlie Sykes!
Charlie!
Charlie Sykes, you're after
the Sergeant, Charlie?
You're crazy!
I like that, Charlie.
Why are you chasing him?
He's got my girlfriend.
Oh. Hmm.
Okay, Charlie,
but you owe me.
Whether you're dead
the next time
I see you or not,
you owe me.
Agreed?
Agreed.Agreed?
Agreed!Agreed?
Agreed!
Agreed. [LAUGHS]
Let him go.
[STARTING ENGINE]
Clara?
Come back!
All you can eat!
No charge!
[ROCK SONG PLAYING]
Charlie!
Help!CHARLIE: Stop the car!
[BEN BARKS]
CHARLIE: Pull over!
God damn!
Shoot him, Charlie!
No, Rachel,
I can't shoot him
with you there!
CHARLIE: Come on!
Let her go!
Pull over!
Hold on, Rachel!
Hold on!
Grab him, Rachel!
Grab him!
CHARLIE: Rachel,
grab his head!
Rachel!
Uh, hello?
MAN: Yes, Motorist Aid.
What seems
to be the problem?
Oh, well plenty.
My car's out of oil
and won't start.
Really?Really.
Do you think
I could get some help
down here, please?
Now, you're saying
it's all out of oil
and the car won't start?
Yeah.
Sounds like
you're walking, geek!
Get those shoes on
and start doing it!
Walk! Walk!
Walk! Walk!
Hey, that's my car!
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Hey!
Hey, this is my car!
Hey, no harm intended.
I've got a little
salvage business
up the road a piece.
I usually keep
what I find.
But since you say
it's your car,
do you want me
to haul it in
and fix it up for you?
[STUTTERING] Yeah, if you
could just take a look,
that would help me a lot.
Didn't say
I'd look at it.
Said I'd fix it.
Not doing you any good
sitting out here
like a big, dead
white elephant,
now is it?
No.
Hop in.
He can ride in
the back with Adam.
There you go.
What a great dog
you have.
Hey, fella.
What's his name?
It's Mr. Ben.
Adam, right?
Right.Charlie.
Nice to meet you,
Charlie.
Beezle.
[BEN BARKS]
There you go.
It's all right, Ben.
Stay put.
After you.
Hey, yeah
Oh, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Ooh, yeah
Well, yeah
Yeah
Hell of a car you got
back there, Charlie.
I haven't seen one like it
in maybe 50 years.
You couldn't be
that old.
[LAUGHS] Feel like it.
It's hard to keep track
of time down here.
[SIGHS]
Hey, uh, could you
speed it up?
I'm kinda in
a hurry here.
I've been tempted,
but the cops down here
can get pretty tough.
Tell me about it.
[CHATTERING ON TV]
There's nothing
I'd rather reach for
than a fire-brewed
bottle of Styx Beer.
Made from
the filthiest waters
from our own River Styx.
Styx Beer is a third
more toxic than any
other regular beer.
The worst beer,
the filthiest beer,
the deadliest beer.
It's Styx Beer.
ANNOUNCER: And now we return
to our feature presentation,
Bowling for Leftovers.
There you go, Charlie.
Right as rain.
How much do I
owe you?
Ah, don't worry about it.
Go to hell to pay.
I might go
for a few beers.
Want to come down
and sink a few?
Uh, hey, no thank you.
Listen, I really
appreciate this, but um,
I'm in a real
big hurry.
Please yourself.
Hey, Beezle,
do you know the way
to Hell City?
Sure.
All roads lead there.
You ever heard
of Hellcop?
Sure I have.
They call him
The Collector.
I don't know why,
but he, uh,
he took my girlfriend.
Is she, uh...
Have you two...
You know what I mean.
[LAUGHS] Of course,
I mean, yeah.
Oh, the only reason
I say is that
Hellcop usually only goes
for beautiful, young, uh,
virgins.
[LAUGHS] Well, um,
she's not a virgin.
[AWKWARDLY] We,
uh, did it in my Pinto.
You'll be all right then.
Thanks.
Come on, Ben.
[HISSING]
I was only sleeping
with my husband's boss
to advance his career.
MAN ON PA: Next.
I was only trying
to help.
I thought he wanted me
to pull the plug.
Next.
Sure, I let little Frances
drink the bleach,
but it's a lesson
she had to learn
for herself.
Next case.
MAN ON PA: We will soon
be paving the way for
those who come after you.
Please form
an orderly line.
[SCREAMING]
Please stay in line
and keep your complaints
to a minimum.
[WOMAN CRYING]
Thank you for your help.
Hi, Charlie.
Oh, hi, Ben.
Hey.
What are you doing?
I'm with you now.
I'm your driving partner.
No, you can't,
you can't come with me.
I can help you
find your girlfriend.
How?
I know where
Hellcop will take her.
You do?
Okay.
Hey, listen, you just stay
out of the way, all right?
It's very dangerous.
Okay?
Okay.
[SIGHS]
MAN ON PA:
Keep your excuses
to yourself.
We don't care.
I don't care.
You don't care.
No one cares.
So, why care.
Thank you.
CHARLIE: Hey, Adam,
how did you
end up in hell?
I was too little
to remember.
But you remember
Cleveland, right?
Look, Adam,
hey, you can trust me.
It was a long time ago,
and my daddy was driving
a station wagon.
I think I was sleeping,
but when I woke up,
Hellcop was there.
And he killed
everyone except me.
Even my dog.
How did Beezle get you?
Hellcop brought me to him.
What does...
What does Beezle do
down here?
Fix stuff.
He's teaching me
to fix stuff, too.
This is my girlfriend.
Her name is Rachel.
She's pretty, Charlie.
We better hurry.
Listen, as soon
as I find her,
we're gonna get
the hell outta here.
Do you want
to go with us?
Yeah, Charlie, I do!
All right, it's a deal.
Cross your heart?
And hope to die.
Let's give 'em hell.
[LAUGHS]
Hit it, Charlie!
Go that way!
Stay. Stay in
the car, Adam.
Okay.
[CHATTERING]
[WOMEN CHATTERING]
Mmm-hmm,
I like that.
[GIVE ME WATER PLAYING]
[CHATTERING]
[MEN YELLING]
[PHONE RINGING]
Hoffa's.
Nah, Jimmy ain't here.
Oh, oh, oh!
Rachel!
RACHEL: Where've you been?
Are you okay?
Are you okay?
No, I'm not!
Ow!
Stand back! Move!
He's here, Charlie!
Shoot him again!
[PEOPLE CLAMORING]
Move, Rachel. Move!
[GROANS]
[PEOPLE CHEERING]
No, Charlie!
Let me go!
[RACHEL GRUNTING]
Let me go!
[DOOR SLAMS]
BEEZLE: Hello, Adam.
ADAM: Hello, Beezle.
Where have you been?
I took a ride
with Charlie
and I was going to
come back, Beezle.
[GROANING]
ADAM:
Charlie made me promise.
Can we still keep it?
We'll see.[GROANING]
BEEZLE: You're leaking
more than oil this time,
Charlie Sykes.
But don't worry,
I can fix anything.
Cars, people,
horse races.
Is he going
to be okay?
That depends.
You promise
not to run away?
Promise?
I promise, Beezle.
Give me your hand.
[DINGS]
Paging Idi Amin!
Idi Amin,
to the white courtesy
telephone, please.
[DINGS]Idi Amin. Idi Amin.
Idi Amin,
to the white courtesy
telephone, please. Idi...
He's not here,
go away!
Get away from here,
you disgusting monkey!
Don't get me wrong,
I love undesirables.
I have nothing against...
[GASPS]
BEEZLE: Charlie!
[CHUCKLES]
Nice to have you back.
How are you feeling?
I don't know.
I can't believe
I'm alive.
Well, you might have been
killed, only the bullet
couldn't pierce your soul.
You've got
a big heart, kid.
Hey, Jimmy?
Come on, let's sit down.
I'm not Hitler!
We've heard that story
before, haven't we?
Once it's explained,
the devil will look
at me and I'll say,
"Goodbye, devil"
and he goes,
"Goodbye, Bob!"
Goddamn it,
I'll never catch up.
You've done
all you can.
Get back in your car,
go back to where
you came from.
There must be
a million girls out there
just like Rachel.
No, you're wrong.
She's the only one
for me.
Where do you think
you're going?
After them.
Maybe he stopped.
Maybe they broke down.
Maybe I still
have a chance.
I know a shortcut
to Hell City.
Where?Nearby.
They call it
the "Road to Nowhere."
In fact I'm 19!
Nineteen years old!
I like to listen
to heavy metal.
I like to sit in my room
and play air guitar.
I like to dance
around the room
in my underwear!
Would you just get over it
and get therapy like I did?
No, I'm not Hitler
and I should not be
sitting at the same table
with the Flintstones!
I can't deal with this.
Do you have a blow dryer?
ATTILA: Do I look like
I have a blow dryer?
CLEOPATRA: Well,
you kind of do
with that hair.
[WOMEN CHATTERING]
[WOMAN WHOOPS]
Charlie!
Hey, buddy, come on.
Let's go get Rachel.
Adam's staying
with me, Charlie.
He's my apprentice.
[YELLING]
ROYCE: Hey, Adam,
want a ride?
Hey, I thought
you said you wanted
to come with me?
Uh-uh, Charlie.
Cross your heart?
I have to stay, Charlie.
[SIGHS] Okay.
I'll see you around, kid.
Hey, thanks a lot.
ROYCE: He's afraid.
I was never afraid.
Hey, you tell me
you're gonna send this
little boy back up?
Royce, I've told you,
it's not healthy to be
so angry all the time.
You don't care.
Of course I care.
But you always walk away.
Every time,
you walk away.
I'm going back up.
I'm going.RANGERS: Going.
The winds of change
are howling my name,
Beezle.
RANGERS: Howling.
Don't be foolish.
Oh, God,
the lost boys from hell.
[EXCLAIMS]
[WHIRRING]
[TIRES SCREECHING]
[MOTORBIKE APPROACHING]
[GRUNTS]
Clara? You're Clara.
Sam is trying
to find you.
She doesn't have
much time, Charlie.
Yeah, I know.
Don't take that road.
It's a shortcut.I know it's the shortcut.
But if you take
the shortcut, Charlie,
you're gonna have
to choose.
And if you choose wrong,
you're gonna be lost.
You and Rachel.
What do you mean?
I made a choice.
I was just
a stupid kid.
I was a dumb kid who
wanted to do something
with my life.
He tempted me
and I took it.
What about Sam?
I thought
I didn't need Sam.
Yeah, well,
Rachel needs me.
Maybe she doesn't,
Charlie.
Maybe she does.
Maybe she doesn't.
[GRUNTS]
[CLOCK CHIMING]
Baby! Oh, God.
Oh, Charlie,
I'm so glad you're here.
Where is he?I don't know.
[MOANS]
Make love to me, Charlie.
If you make love to me,
the devil won't want me
anymore.
I don't know.
I don't know.
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
Ouch!
Charlie?
[GRUNTING]
[GROANING]
[SCREAMING]
[SCREAMING]
[GROANING]
Oh, Rachel.
Make love to me,
Charlie.
I don't know.
Make love to me.I think we should
get out of here.
Come to bed!
[MOANS]
Rachel?Come to bed.
[PANTING]
I want to give you
your bracelet.
Oh.
Mmm.
[GRUNTS]
Make love to me.
Rachel!
[STUTTERS]
Rachel,
we should go now.
It's really only
skin deep, isn't it?
What the...
Come here, baby.
I love you, Charlie.
I love...
[WHIMPERS]
Come to mama.
Ooh, baby.
[MOANING] Oh.
Let's ring bells, Charlie.
Come to mama.
You know I love you.
Be the devil's friend,
Charlie.
[GROANING]
Come on! Come on!
You wanna fight,
come on! Come on!
Come on! Come on,
you wanna fight,
you ugly bitch!
Let's make
the sheets sing.
Oh, Charlie,
I'm a lover,
not a fighter.
Oh...
[SCREAMING]
Sorry, just not my type.
Let's get
out of here, Ben.
[STARTING ENGINE]
WOMAN 1: [ON TV]
Rachel Clark...
WOMAN 2:
This could be your life.
Choice number one
doesn't look so hot.
Barefoot. Pregnant.
Up to your arms
in pizza pies.
You look like
10 pounds of shit
in a five pound bag.
But choice number two,
you could have it all,
Rachel.
Fame. Fortune.
Every note... Sublime!
Just have faith in us,
and forget about
sorry old Charlie Sykes.
Sorry old Charlie Sykes.
[TIRES SCREECHING]
[GASPS]
[EXCLAIMS]
[BARKING]
[GROWLING]
Back to the car, Ben.
Ben, what are you doing?
[BARKING]
I owe you one, buddy.
Back to the car.
What right have you
to cross?
I have no right.
My girlfriend
has been taken to hell,
and I want to save her.
It's too late.
Only the dead
may pass.
She's not dead.
Please. Please,
just allow me to cross.
Rules are meant
to be broken.
But once
you have crossed,
there is no way back.
This is your
place to leave.
But remember,
evil has many faces,
some of which are sweet.
Thank you.
GUARD: Hey, you!
[EXCLAIMING]
Stop!
[GRUNTING]
[VIOLIN PLAYING]
Charlie, I thought
you were dead.
Don't move.
What are you doing?
[EXHALES]
Oh.
Oh, Charlie,
what's wrong with you?
I can't explain it.
I can't explain it.
[CHUCKLES]
Mmm.
Are you okay?
I think you left this
along the way.
Charlie.
[THUDS]
Oh, my God.
Charlie Sykes.
[LAUGHING]
Your name is not
in my book.
Is there a black mark
on your soul?
I don't know
what's happening here,
but I'm taking
Rachel back.
Rachel,
my sweet virgin child,
you'll never keep her
away from me.
You've heard her play?
She can be magnificent
with my help.
She can do anything
she wants.
It is Rachel's choice.
She's going back.
Maybe she
doesn't want to.
I want to go back.
We're going to die
some day anyway.
It's too early now.
We didn't do
anything wrong.
We haven't even
eloped yet.
[CHUCKLES] Precisely
why I like you, dear.
We're still alive.
[SCREAMS]
Are you sure
you're alive,
Charlie Sykes?
Stop it, I love him!
I don't really
need Charlie.
He stinks.
Perhaps I'll let him go.
No, no.
You let Rachel go
and you can keep me.
No. [CHUCKLES]
Then you're gonna
have to kill me.
Haven't you ever
been in love?
I am darkness
made visible.
I am the Prince
of Princes.
I once basked in
the light of God's love.
Then you must know
how we feel.
I know how
everyone feels.
And it is not love.
It is fear
and vanity.
Very well.
Go.
On one condition.
Remember,
don't look back.
[LAUGHING]
Now, we'll have some fun.
When we get out there,
stick by me
and run like the devil.
Charlie, come on.
Ow!You okay?
Don't turn!
Don't look back.
RACHEL: I think
I can open this.
Rachel? Rachel?
We've got company.
You know,
I figured this out.
Charlie, hurry.
Get in!
No key!I'll hot-wire it.
I don't know.
This car wasn't made
in Detroit, you know.
Hurry up!
[ENGINE STARTING]
Drive!
Go on!
We're turning back!
No, Charlie, no!
I know!
I'm turning!
There's no way out!
It just looks that way,
Charlie. Step on it!
There no...Trust me!
[EXCLAIMS]
[BRAKES SQUEALING]
That ought to
slow him down.
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]
Hellcop! Hellcop!
Hellcop! Hellcop!
[SCREAMS]
Wait, wait, wait!
[GRUNTS]
No. Wait, wait...
CHARLIE: Where the hell
did that come from?
Adam?
Adam?
Beezle?
Hello, Charlie.
You've made it.
You're a real player.
I'm proud of you.
And, Rachel,
Charlie's found you.
Do you think
he can keep you?
What are you
talking about?
You better hurry.
Friendly Hellcop
is on his way
even as we speak.
We're taking Adam
with us.
He doesn't belong here.
He doesn't want to go.
Adam?
I promised
I would stay, Charlie.
And I promised
I'd take you with me.
Remember?
You really
meant it, Charlie?
I'll go with you!
Adam, I want you
to stay with me.
No, he's going
with us.
I may not be carrying
a pitchfork, Charlie,
but I think you know
who I am.
Don't make me
lose my temper.
Well, we just
met the Devil.
One of my many,
many manifestations.
But you helped me.
You saved my life.
People live,
people die.
They come down here.
I've got infinite levels
of hell for them.
What you've seen
is nothing.
A mere kindergarten.
It's so easy for me now.
People have lost
their willpower,
their hope.
They think the world is
going to come to an end.
[CHUCKLES]
Wishful thinking.
The world will last
a long, long, long,
long time.
But you, Charlie,
you haven't lost
your willpower.
You've got guts.
That's why I like you.
But you can't
have Adam.
Adam is not a game.
Neither was Attila,
Napoleon, Adolf.
Adam will go back
when I send him.
Adam wants
to go back now.
And I want to
take him with us.
What are your terms?
We'll race the Hellcop.
If we make it out of hell
before he catches us,
then we go free.
If we don't,
you can keep Adam.
Not interested.
RACHEL: Me.
BEEZLE:
What did you say?
And me.
You'll come of your
own free will?
Yes.
It's a deal.
Have you met Royce?
A great disappointment
to me.
He was once a part of
my scheme of things.
Like Adam, he is one
of my adopted sons.
I'd like a child
with Rachel.
[GASPS]
I'd like a boy.
I don't always
get what I want.
[ENGINE STARTING]
There's your
exit point.
If you make it,
you're free.
If not, you're mine.
Say hello to Sam
for me.
Hey, Charlie, suppose
I made you quarterback
of the Rams,
would you give me
Rachel and Adam?
You know, if you'd
have said the Niners,
I might've said yeah.
But you didn't,
so go to hell.
Fasten your seatbelts!
Beezle?
Royce, what are you
doing to Clara?
She's not looking well.
Don't change
the subject.
You're letting
them go.
They won't make it.
But you're giving
them a chance.
When do I get
to go back up?
Don't hold your breath.
You owe me
a chance, Beezle!
What have I been
doing here?
I'm better than those
God-fearing, sex-starved,
TV evangelists!
I'm the guy!
I'm the best!
I'm the one!
You're not.
You were a great
disappointment to me.
Kill 'em!
RANGERS: No way!
RANGER: Come on,
let's get out of here.
Come back!
Come back!
You owe me!
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]
Royce, face the truth.
Eternity's ours.
Well, eternity
lasts too long.
And if that boy's
going back up,
so am I!
You owe me!
To my legions!
Uh-oh, it's Royce.
He doesn't like me
too much.
ROYCE: Hey, Charlie.
Stop the car!
Stop the car, Charlie!
Come on!
[EXCLAIMS] Go!Stop the car, Charlie!
You're dead, sonny boy.
You lose!
Give me the gun!
Stop that,
stop pulling away!
You're not
going anywhere!
[GRUNTS]
The kid's mine!
Let them live!
Come on!
[YELLING]
RACHEL: Charlie?
I know, I know![RACHEL SCREAMING]
Hold on, Adam!
Come on,
we're almost there!
Do it!
Go! Go! Go!
Here!The gun,
give me the gun!
Did you get him?I think so.
What's he doing?
I don't know.
Reload! Reload!
RACHEL: Go!
RACHEL: Charlie!CHARLIE: What do we do?
Shoot him in the
glasses, Charlie!
What?
If you break his glasses,
it'll kill him.
Why didn't you
tell me that before?
ADAM: 'Cause now
I'm on your side.
[GUN FIRING]
Reload!There's only
one bullet left!
Give it to me!
Here!
It's on the floor,
get it!
I can't find it!You gonna have to,
get it!
[FUEL TRICKLING]
God, help us.
Come on, Rachel!
It's not under the seat!Find it! Find it!
It's now or never!
What are you doing
down there?
I see a switch,
I think I know
what it is!
[ENGINE POWERING UP]
[BREAKS SCREECHING]
Oh, my God!
We made it!
We're back!
We made it!
Yes! [LAUGHS]We're back!
We made it!
I made it!
[WHOOPING]
[ALL LAUGHING]
Get out of
the goddamn car!
Put your goddamn
hands up, now!
[CONTINUES LAUGHING]
Come here!
You are in a whole world
of shit, boy!
Want to tell me what's
so goddamn funny?
CHARLIE: [LAUGHING]
I'm sorry.
I thought that
you were someone.
[ALARM RINGING]
[CHUCKLES]
[SIGHS]
[EXCLAIMS]
CHARLIE: Uncuff me!
Uncuff me!
COP: Shut up! Shut up!
I mean it.
Shut up!
You don't understand!
You don't understand!
I said shut up.
That's the cop
from hell!
He'll kill us both,
damn it!
Come on,
what kind of cop
could do that?
Look at him!
COP: Stop right there
or I'll shoot.
[CHARLIE GRUNTING]
[GRUNTS]
[SCREAMS]
[GAGGING]
[PANTING]
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.I found it.
Yes, you did.
Yes, you did.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
Yes, you did.
[MAYBE THE NEXT TIME
PLAYING]
You were shaken
by your pride
No one hears
your confession
Now that she's gone
Now that you lied
Maybe the next time
You'll get what you want
Maybe the next time
Maybe the next time
She won't be that strong
You may find that
she'll cross that line
Maybe the next time
Haunted by your promises
Lost at your own game
You don't need no honesty
No answer, only a flame
Maybe the next time
You'll get what you want
Maybe the next time
Maybe the next time
She won't be that strong
You may find that
she'll cross that line
Maybe the next time
Maybe the next time
You'll get what you want
Maybe the next time
Maybe the next time
She won't be that strong
Maybe the next time
Maybe the next time
Maybe the next time
Maybe the next time
Maybe the next time
Hey
Hey
Hey
Hey
Yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Hey
Hey
Hey
Hey
Yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah