Hillwalkers (2022) Movie Script
Hey!
Hey.
And here we go. We're here.
Last stop. End of the world.
Nice driving, babe.
Thanks.
For fuck. Is this it?
It is.
Cim Mr. Big Step.
We circle around and into the valley,
and then it's back here again.
And there isn't even
any phone reception.
Faced with the grandeur of nature,
and that's your concern?
We're trying to be
disconnected for a day.
I know that's very hard.
How long is this hike again?
Roughly 14 miles, give or take.
Jesus, you can feel
the wind from in here.
Good thing we've got men
to keep us safe.
I will always protect you, Babe.
Christ.
Okay, guys, make sure
you have all your stuff.
Water, protein bars, compass,
whistle.
Why would you need a whistle?
Fog.
One second it's clear,
the next you can't see
your hand in front of you.
You know accounts did
their team building in Milan?
Yes, but this isn't team
building. We're already a team.
If slightly dysfunctional.
I just wonder why we chose hell.
I think you'll find it's
a tad colder than hell.
Did everyone else not notice all
the burnt-up cars on the way up here?
You know, I mean, maybe someone should
stay behind and mind the car.
Ben, we all go or nobody goes.
Ben, where's your sense of camaraderie?
Okay, come on.
Let's do it. Everyone out.
Okay.
Oh wow, you can smell the
Heather. So fresh.
How are you feeling?
Yeah, great.
It's the first time I've driven
and a cyclist hasn't wanted to kill me.
I meant medically speaking.
I know.
Look, the doctor says I'm in remission,
so for now that's good enough.
If it gets too much for
you, just tell me, or Ray.
We know what you're
like. You power through.
Okay, everybody. Nobody
leave any valuables in the car.
Backpacks are over here.
Looks like your
husband's running the show.
Mm, the illusion of control.
Nice camera, Susan.
Thank you.
Why, though? Phones are so good.
I got my selfie stick.
To make sure to record
everything that Ben does,
so the office can see
what a little bitch he is.
We should get a group photo.
Everyone line up.
Come on, Ben.
Cheer up.
Cheese!
Oh no, we should get one
with the car in the background.
For the police report.
- Ben!
- Sorry, my bad.
Okay, guys, listen up.
So this path goes for about two K.
It's solid ground, so easy enough,
but after that it's off road.
Forecast is showers, but
we're already in the clouds,
so showers can get pretty severe.
The main thing is to watch your footing,
avoid the ridges and watch
out for the bog holes.
Bog holes?
Jesus.
And I just want to say thank you all
so much for doing this.
I know it's not the Riviera,
but let's just enjoy ourselves anyway.
And, if nothing else,
we'll be fit by tea time.
Yes, don't forget.
Set your FitBits, your smartwatches,
whatever devices you have,
and upload your steps
at the end of the day, okay.
That's really, really important.
Let's go.
Nice message.
Mm, thank you.
Slow down, guys.
Is this okay?
We were just talking about
that, but actually when you
have one crutch, it's the opposite side.
Wow, guys, fun time on the bog.
Oh my God, this is awful.
Just a bit of rain, Ben.
It's not just rain.
Rain comes straight down.
This is sideways, I feel
like a fucking sieve.
People are so shit. Why
would anybody do that?
The first part answers the second part.
Another crusade. She's off.
I was wondering, did she say anything?
Like what?
She wants to have a baby.
Which would ordinarily be
fine, but I can't have kids.
Oh, that's tough.
But I mean, most people decide
not to have kids these days.
State of the world, plus she's
had a health scare, so...
I just think she sees
everything as a challenge.
She won't take no for an answer.
There's talk of a sperm donor.
I don't think I reacted very well.
You'd still be the dad, and a good one.
Yeah.
Maybe a lone parent, though.
No, we both know how tough she is.
How many people face cancer and do this?
Or plan children?
Yeah.
I'm glad she has you.
You always look out for her, for everyone.
I'm not so good really.
Except to people I like.
Bad news, guys. End of civilization.
Thanks for the chat.
If you ever need a shoulder to cry on.
What are you two gabbing about?
Oh, just stuff.
Please tell me that's not the way.
That's the way, Ben.
It's all off road from here, guys.
The next five K is pretty rugged.
The next five K? Fuck.
Okay, everybody just be careful.
All right, single
file, troops. Off we go.
So is this a bog or a marsh?
Welcome to our 30s.
When you're
not in your usual habitat,
you don't know what to talk about.
It's a bog. I think
marshes have reeds and stuff.
You're so good at all this.
I feel like I have the shingles.
You should put
that on your Tinder profile.
It's like being on the moon around here.
Yeah, except there's
no plants on the moon.
You do know that?
Yes, I'm aware.
I was thinking about the
topography in general.
Oh.
Someone paid attention in geography.
It does look like a crater though.
Maybe there was an
asteroid strike, long ago.
See any birds?
No, but...
What?
I thought I saw someone out there.
Out there?
If there was someone, they
might have sunk in a bog hole.
It's pretty treacherous.
Yeah, I suppose.
It was actually really
weird, kinda creepy.
All right, Lisa, as
the designated guide.
Right. Left is no man's land.
He brought up the baby, by the way.
I knew he would.
You should have seen his face
when I suggested a sperm donor.
I bet that went down well.
Where is he anyway?
Oh, here they are.
Did you lose my hubby?
He wasn't with us.
Ray?
Ray!
I think he went that way.
Spread out.
Ray!
Ray!
- Ray!
- Ray!
Ray!
Guys, over here.
Honey, are you okay?
I'm fine, but I hurt my leg.
Stay there, we're coming down.
I've been yelling for like 10 minutes.
Jesus, what happened?
So stupid, I was taking a
selfie. I didn't see the edge.
Babe, try not to move,
okay. You might be concussed.
I'm fine.
Can you feel your legs?
My right one's sore.
Miriam.
Shit.
Okay, honey, there's a
splinter in your leg.
We're gonna have to get it out.
Ooh, wait. Don't.
Why not?
If it's deep in, there's
blood vessels, arteries.
Taking it out could make things worse.
Lisa, he's in pain.
I know.
Give me the first-aid kit.
Okay, I think we should tie it off,
give him something for the
pain, get back to the car.
Ray, we can take it out,
but there's a danger of bleeding.
Well I don't wanna bleed
out on the bog, so...
Okay.
Just in case you're concussed,
that was the most
entertaining thing so far.
You useless fucker.
Sorry.
Does anyone have any phone coverage?
No, nothing.
I'm fine.
I think it's just my pride
that's hurt more than anything.
Should have waited, dummy.
Okay, get everyone,
yeah? You ready to get up?
- One, two, three.
- One, two, three.
Oh.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Is there a full moon?
All of these Alpha females.
Ray, this is why you and
I are doomed, my friend.
That splinter could have
gone right into your man bag,
and it wouldn't have mattered.
No, sir.
In truth, there is a better sex toy,
a better book.
Even a cat video is more appealing.
We are witnessing in quite a
literal sense our downfall,
thanks to you.
If this is meant
to make me feel better,
it's not working.
Get used to it.
Mind your legs here.
Hang on a second.
Is it bad, Lise?
I don't think he'll get through.
Guys, listen up.
The rains basically turned
the ground into a swamp.
We need to get to higher ground.
Okay, which way?
Just over the Ridge,
there should be a forest.
If we can cut through, it should lead
to the main road, but...
What?
It's not public land.
Who cares? I mean, who gives a shit?
It's not like we have a choice, right?
Okay, show of hands, who
votes for the forest, yeah?
Up, good, let's go.
Come on up.
I know that face.
Anything in gray is uncharted.
Yeah, but it's a road, right?
That's what it says.
Okay, well I think in these
circumstances, that's enough.
As long as we get the hell outta here.
Wonderful.
Fuck.
Okay, in case of emergency,
I don't think it applies, does it?
There's another one.
Listen, it doesn't matter.
If we don't continue,
we're just going to keep
walking around in circles,
and he's getting weaker.
It's not like the city.
People who live in isolation,
they like their privacy,
for all kinds of reasons.
Oh come on, you make it sound like
we're some sort of invasive species.
Lise, I negotiate
multimillion-euro deals for a living.
My husband has a piece of
fucking tree stuck in his leg.
I honestly think that
if we meet some yokels,
I'll be able to explain
the unique circumstance.
I don't think we should cross.
I think we should stay here.
I'll get back to the
car. I'll raise an alarm.
We have daylight for several hours.
Plus, like you said, he needs a rest.
Okay, here.
When you find help, will you
get them to send an airlift?
I don't care if we're on the news.
Sure, okay.
Be careful, Lise.
Well, guess the age of chivalry's dead.
How so?
You don't think that shoulda been you?
I don't think it's
gone unnoticed that this
mountaineering nonsense is
not my number one skill.
But, now that we have some
time, I could show you what is.
Oh yeah?
Dream on, Ben.
Maybe you can find some sheep
to try it on with, though.
Worth a shot.
Hey.
Hey.
We're leaving now, okay?
Hey, guys?
What's up?
We're going through the forest.
Come again.
I'm not going to sit here
while my husband's in pain.
We all saw what it was like back there.
She's only gone 40 minutes.
Yeah, well, I've decided
something different.
You don't have to come if you don't want.
You can stay here.
Oh yeah, because I've been expressing
such fondness for this place all morning.
What about the signs?
Do you hear anything? Do you see anyone?
Okay, okay.
Sorry, guys.
It's okay. We'll get
you over that fence.
Ben.
Guys, what about Lise?
She'll figure it out.
Okay.
Ah, trees.
What about them?
Not exactly a goldmine.
You know, makes you wonder
why people get so precious.
I don't think it's unreasonable.
Say it's a farm. Outsiders
can bring disease.
And what about insurance?
They might think we'd accuse them
of negligence or something.
What is that smell?
Whatever it is, it's revolting.
What the fuck is this?
All right, let's just keep going.
No, wait.
Susan, leave it.
Yeah, Suzie, come on.
Oh my God. Jesus Fucking Christ.
What the fuck is this?
Jesus Christ.
Okay, it's dead wildlife,
and that's terrible,
but that's not what we're here for, Suzie.
We have to keep going.
Leave it.
Who the fuck would do this?
You guys go, okay, I'll follow.
Come on. Let's just get out of here.
Ben, you can't do something like this.
It's cruelty to animals.
And it's completely fucking wrong!
Bad things happen to
animals, you know this.
No one has to like it.
I mean, we all know the sanitized version
in the supermarket.
Does it make me a vegan? No.
Am I happy about it?
I try not to think about these things.
I don't give a fuck, Ben.
You can't do something like this.
I don't care who these sick fucks are.
When we get outta here,
I'm gonna report this.
Okay, very good, but in the meantime,
can we just fucking go?
I don't know if now's
a good time, but yes.
On the baby question.
Oh.
What?
We've discussed this hundreds of times,
and now is the moment that
you decide to say yes?
I feel like you'll leave me.
Babe, that's not the
right reason to say yes.
I don't want you to do this just for me.
I want you to do it for you as well.
If it makes you happy,
that's all that matters to me.
I think you have a fever.
I do.
Lovesickness.
Oh God.
That's a car.
Oh, thank God.
Or maybe not.
Okay, everybody just stay calm.
I don't think your gay
wave's gonna help us much.
Who breaks the ice?
Is it us?
Or them?
Look, I'll explain the
situation. This was my idea.
No, I'll do it.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
Morning. Afternoon.
How's it going, boys? Girls?
Strangers, is it?
Out for a bit of roaming?
Steevy.
Are you lost?
No, not exactly.
A friend of ours got into
an accident up in the bog.
Taking a shite, was he?
Steevy, shut up.
We just got cut off by the rain.
What do you think they're saying?
Let's just go back and wait for Lise.
I don't like this.
Not to spoil the party,
but I don't think I
can make it back there.
Okay, look, nobody say
anything about anything.
Hi.
I'm sorry for disturbing,
but my husband fell.
I hear yous were out on the hill, yeah?
Yeah, hiking, for charity.
What's the cause?
Cancer research.
Waste of time and money.
Sure there's no cure for that fucker.
Don't mind that fella. You're all right.
The leg, is it?
Yeah.
Sure, hop in the back
there. We'll give you a ride.
No really, we're fine.
We don't wanna disturb you.
If you could just point us in
the right direction actually.
Well, it's, it's several
miles, you know. Rough ground.
The river'll be swollen
after all that rain.
There's no bridge that direction.
Look, we'll get you halfway there.
You can make a phone call.
If you're sure it's no trouble.
Driving's fierce hard work.
Steevy, give them a
hand there, will you?
Thank you.
Why don't you get in the
back with Goldilocks there?
Do yous like it hot or cold?
This is our air con out here.
Hot, is it?
So do they pay you'se for walking?
It's sponsorship.
You walk a certain number of miles,
and then you raise a certain amount.
It's like fundraising.
That's a mighty explanation.
I'm all clear now.
But for walking, though?
Pretty much.
Pretty all right.
So, are we close to your farm?
Why?
No reason, just curious.
Curious people, are you?
No.
Did you see a sign when
you come in from the bog?
This is all private property.
You know, no right of way.
I didn't see any
signs. You see any signs?
No, no. Nothing.
Only city people'd be paid for walking.
You know, yous are cute, in every way.
So you own the whole forest.
I believe there's a
lot of money in timber.
Beetles, fungus, rot. No money.
The damp, you see.
Fucking damp. What a shame.
It's a shame all right.
I like your Jeep.
What do you like about it?
It's old. Unique.
You see, if Steevy had put the isopan on
like I asked him to, be
all right, wouldn't it?
There you go.
Come inside, we'll get you warm and dry.
Make a phone call from
in there if you want.
No, honestly, we're
fine out here. Thanks.
If that's fine, I'd hate to see bad,
especially that poor man.
Come on.
Okay.
Sit him down there.
Honey, you're gonna be all right.
We're gonna get some help, okay?
Take a seat at the table. Go on.
Steevy, go up to Pappy's old room there.
Call Mountain Rescue. And
get them up here quick.
Do you hear me looking at you?
Sure we'll have a cup of tea?
It's great to get the
weight off the feet, huh?
Thanks for your help.
He's gonna be all right, isn't he?
Ah, yeah.
Get a bit of heat into him,
he'll be right as rain.
So you're all brothers?
Oh, me and Tadhg.
Oh, I'm Neil, by the way.
I never introduced meself.
The other fella, sure,
what would you call him?
Cunt.
Nephew.
Oh, you'll have to forgive the decor.
We're a bit primitive
around here, you know.
Do you mind if I use your bathroom?
Oh, yeah.
How's your constitution?
We call it the privy
house. It's out that way.
To your right.
Thanks.
Oh, it's the maid's day off,
by the way. Just so you know.
Shit.
Remind me to get a tetanus shot.
Yous all right?
I was just admiring your fish.
Oh, that's Pikey.
He nearly took the finger off me.
I was trying to get a Cooper spoon out
of his mouth and aarrk.
Gave him a fierce whack
in the head, though.
And there he is now, up
there, looking down on us, uh?
How long do you think it'll
take for help to arrive?
How long do think it'll
take help to arrive, Tadgh?
It shouldn't take very long.
Shouldn't take very long.
What line of work do you do?
Business.
Not journalism no?
No.
How'd you get on?
Fine.
Do you take photographs?
Just Heather.
Nothing else, no?
No.
No.
Did you manage to
get through to someone?
Oh yeah, some lad's
coming up with a yoke
for fixing fuckers' legs.
Will you show us the Heather?
It's a dead battery.
Using the flash is a whore.
Do you not have a spare?
Is something funny?
No.
Then what?
People from the city think that people
from the country are fucking amadans.
Idiots of the highest order.
Culchies! Do you know
where the word came from?
Cl-an-T, literally.
The back end of the house.
Guys, we don't want any trouble here.
Sure I know you don't,
the gormless head on you.
But you mean to bring
trouble in on me.
Oh yeah.
You saw something. You think
you saw something.
With your notions looking
around all high and mighty.
Do you think I'm going to let you walk
outta here and bring shite
in on me, huh?
I got some bad news for you.
You're in the back of beyond now.
What did you give her?
That's what you get
for trespassing.
Miriam.
What did you do to her?
Steevy, stop horsing around, will you?
Lads?
This is all a big mistake.
Just keep the camera, and
we walk right outta here.
Sure, they all say that.
Sure, I won't tell.
Do you think any of them ever meant it?
No.
I don't give a shit about your deer,
or your wild animals.
I happen to like venison.
What I like more is breathing.
There's a photograph on the camera,
five of yous around the car.
Jeep.
Don't be a smart-ass
this stage of your life.
Same fucking thing.
Not really like.
I'm fucking warning you.
So, five of yous.
Who's Blondie?
Some hillwalker we bumped into.
Out for a stroll, huh?
Yeah.
Do you know what the
opposite of a culchie is?
A jackeen.
A contemptuous designation
for a worthless fellow.
I read that somewhere.
Are you? A worthless fellow?
You see, while you were sleeping
I had a root around on your phone.
And I found loads of pictures
of Blondie and yourself,
different places, all nice places now.
Okay, okay. She's a colleague.
She went back to the Jeep.
She's not involved. She
wasn't even on your land.
You're saying it is a Jeep?
Will you shut up?
I'll give you a root up the fucking hole.
Why does he get to call it
right but I'm the fucking cunt?
Because you are a cunt.
So.
How long since Blondie
went back to your, vehicle?
About an hour, hour and a half.
An hour.
Steevy, I want you to stay
here, mind our guests.
Mind, do you hear?
Do you not see me nodding?
I'll nod the fucking
head off you in a minute.
Just do as you're told for once, will you?
Come on you.
Oh, and, uh, just relax. You'll be grand.
What's wrong with you?
There's a lot of them.
More than usual.
Do you think I don't know that?
If we don't find this black sheep,
we say goodbye to the farm.
Steevy and his fucking pelts.
Who's this?
A friend?
You're a friendly, boy-o.
Do you have any porn on this?
No.
Are you gay?
No.
Like you're good-looking.
Not that I'd fuck you now.
But you have a certain aura about you.
Tell me, which of the two
girls with you is best?
Is it Goldilocks or the brown bear?
They're good people.
I'm not fucking talking about people.
I'm talking about
carnal knowledge.
See to me, you're a strange lad.
You're not married. You
have no ring on you.
You're not gay, so you say.
So what's the word for you then, huh?
Jackeen?
No wait, you might be.
No.
Can you be a frigid man?
Look, if you're being forced to do this,
you don't have to, there
is another choice here.
What's that?
Help us to get outta here.
We'd say that you did. We
won't press any charges.
You'll probably get all of this.
The whole farm?
Yes, everything. Right?
See the beardy fella's
right. You think we're stupid.
But worse, you think I'm stupid.
No no no, I think
you're actually clever.
You know the right choice here.
And how would you think that?
Are you reading me mind?
Because if you are,
what am I thinking now?
I'm thinking, where did those two fuckers
hide the custard creams, huh?
Oh no.
What? What is it?
I just realized something.
Did you piss yourself?
You're insane.
I am, yeah.
I am.
See this is only kind of a farm.
There's animals around the
place, wild and dangerous.
But most of them are on two legs.
Is that her?
Put on your happy face.
Another minute, we'd be fucked.
Hey there, are you Lisa?
We found your friends. They're safe.
They told us to come and get you.
They need you to drive them.
You can follow on up in
your car, if you like.
This bitch is deaf or dumb.
No, no she's not. She's neither.
Is she taking our picture?
There's no signal.
Didn't you rip all the
wires outta the five G mast?
She won't be sending them.
I could shoot her now
instead of standing here like a gombeen.
No, 50 yards from the
motorway and a motorcycle goes
past and sees you, that's
some fucking plan all right.
No, here's what I want you to do.
I want you to go up there
and introduce yourself.
Show her what a fine, upstanding
fellow you really are.
And come here to me. No messing.
Make it clean.
And when you're finished,
get the car keys.
And that phone.
We're going through the forest.
Do you hear anything? Do
you see anyone.
People who live in isolation
like their privacy.
Thought I saw someone out there.
Waste of time and money.
What the fuck is this?
It's dead wildlife.
Babe.
Babe?
Babe.
Ray.
What the fuck's happening?
I made a mistake.
I made a terrible mistake,
and now we're in trouble.
And I don't know how to get us out of it.
Can you get loose?
I'll try.
I think I can cut these.
Okay.
Hang on.
Okay.
Shut up do you here me!
Someone's coming.
Get the fuck away from me!
I knew you were cute. Cute as a fox.
Please leave us alone.
So you're awake as well?
Mighty.
But sure as fuck no one's talking to you.
Is he your husband? Is he rich?
Geez, he must be unless you're blind.
Are you blind?
I am rich.
I'll give you money. Just let us go.
Go where? The guards?
Yes, you're honor.
Sure, we had them tied up
but it was only the craic.
Can I have sex with her?
Don't you fucking dare.
If you lay a finger on
me, I swear I'll kill you.
You kill me? And how will you do that?
Do you have laser eyes?
Do you breathe fire?
Huh?
Hubby? Sure, he's not answering.
If you let us go,
drive us somewhere safe,
I'll give you 100,000 cash, no questions.
Sure you get that for washing diesel.
No, two million. No no.
Four million.
All right. Yeah, I can
do that, whatever you need.
Fucking wasting me time.
How about you, Brownie?
Let's see you try and kill me now, huh?
Fuck!
Ray?
No.
Ray. What did you do?
Listen, you need to get outta here.
Before he comes back.
Go.
You're coming with me.
Please, I can't make it without you.
You always do.
You're the boss.
Where is it you think you're going?
Steevy?
Steevy?
Yeah.
Steevy, where are you?
Oh, just taking a shite.
All right, listen, don't
fuck anything up there.
Yeah, it's going grand.
You fucking cunt, you.
All right.
Dirty little bollocks.
Susan?
Susan.
Susan, Susan.
Susan.
Miriam.
Sh, you're okay. Did they hurt you?
No no, but they will.
Where's Ben, and Ray?
Oh my God.
Listen, we're gonna fight this.
We're going to get out of here, all right?
Can you get up?
Yeah.
Okay.
Are you okay?
Girls.
How are you?
You're getting a great tour
of the old farm, aren't you?
Seeing all the best places.
See that? That's Dennis.
He was a fierce fucking beast now!
Whatever happens, trust me.
Did you say something?
How's your shoulder?
Oh, it's throbbing. Sure,
like all the best parts of me.
How's your husband?
Ah no, that's a bad fucking question.
I went in to see him there now,
and he's bled out like a stuck pig.
You didn't see the yoke
he pulled from his leg.
Look, that's it.
Look, who goes into the bog,
a place with no fucking trees,
and gets that stuck in him?
Are you sure it wasn't in the woods?
No.
Don't mind me. I'm only being a whore.
It's your fault, you know, he's dead.
And how is that?
You provoked him.
Sure, I was only dancing with you.
And don't be wearing those
yokes if you don't want a poke.
You might as well put a sign
on it that says, Enter here.
Can you even get a girlfriend
that you don't have to rape?
Rarely.
So you're throbbing then?
The only cure for pain is pleasure.
Right.
Are you afraid you won't be able to?
Hey, don't be fucking
daring me now, woman.
I could get up on the whinns.
What about you now, Goldilocks?
Are you the quiet type?
Put the knife down, and you'll see.
Such fine words, for such fine women.
What I won't do to you now.
Move and I'll cut your fucking throat!
Yous fucking whores.
Put those on him.
So that's your thing, is it?
You're a rapist and a pervert.
Oh, I'm plenty more things besides.
He's fucking high.
No, I'm low. I'm down in
the earth with the weeds.
Put that on him.
We're going for a walk.
You're gonna show us the way out of here.
I thought we were making love.
But now, we're making war.
Check his pockets.
Steevy, check in.
Is that your asshole uncle?
Steevy can't talk right now.
Did you kill him?
No, he's going to rot in jail,
just like you and your inbred brother.
Is that so?
You don't believe me.
Maybe I'll make him squeal.
That's what you like, isn't it? Pain.
And what about your friend, huh?
Lisa.
She's here with us.
Do you want her to suffer?
You're gonna do what you want.
There's nothing I can say.
But if you think that
there's something worse
than getting your pet
animal to kill my husband,
my friend, to try and rape me,
then think again.
There's always a fate worse
than death. I promise you.
Then I guess we're on the same page.
These radios don't have much
range, so you're close by.
I'm going to leave you a parting gift.
Stay the fuck away from us.
Steevy, you fucking cunt.
Was that wise?
No, it fucking wasn't.
When that whore's mad, he makes
me look like an altar boy.
You're making a fine mess
of this now, Brown Bear.
Wait outside.
Move.
Sure, I wasn't actually gonna hurt you.
This is only messing gone wrong.
No, I heard what you
said to the other fella.
The bull, you called him.
The things you were gonna do.
You're sick. And you're twisted.
Yous are fierce fucking wily
when it comes to fake sleeping.
I'll tell you, only a spider or a snake
would seem that dead.
But they'd be watching, and listening,
hatching their own fucking
schemes to eat you alive.
Stop talking.
So don't show you the way then?
What is wrong with you?
You know, I can take
the skin off a beast
in five minutes with the blunt knife,
and them hides is tougher than us.
So just imagine what I'd do with you.
Don't be scared now. I like women.
I like yous more than
anything else in the world.
Look, maybe, maybe we got
off on the wrong foot.
Who's to say a few magic
mushrooms and we're all fine?
Rosy in the fucking garden.
Don't tell me you started a fire.
Oh, you're going to be riling a monster
you don't want to be riding.
If it was a gift you wanted to get him,
he's awful fond of badgers.
What have you taken?
All I'll tell you is this is the worst
fucking escape I've ever seen.
He's fucking nuts.
Do you like nuts?
Which way?
Uh.
If you're lying, you're going to die
in a very painful way.
Ho, you're getting a
taste for this, you know.
Are you burning something at home?
Where are you?
I'm in Spain sunbathing.
Where do you think?
Black sheep is dead.
Steevy killed two of them,
and the other two have Steevy.
You're fucking joking me.
Yeah, I'm joking.
The shed is on fire.
And that fucking whore's cunt Steevy
has fucked everything
up from here to China.
Some fucking joke.
If you didn't pass them on the low road,
they're coming out this way.
I'll wait here. They'll
be two sitting ducks.
Yeah, well, I be downwind of you.
So don't fucking shoot me as well.
Pair of fucking gobshites.
Hurts?
Good.
Prick.
Hope you don't have a real dog.
That's all I'm fucking saying.
I'd say you have, a
chihuahua or a shih tzu.
Shut the fuck up.
Have you ever seen the faces on them.
How in the world would
you buy a dog like that?
Have you ever been diagnosed
with a mental illness?
Like what?
Schizophrenia.
Is that the one where
you're like loads of fellas.
That'd be great, wouldn't it?
You know, most people wanna
be Batman or Superman.
I don't like wearing rubber.
You know what I'm saying.
Fucking disgusting.
A woman scorned, huh?
I guess you have a right to be mad, sure.
That was a fierce thing done to yous.
I'm ashamed. Black is me heart.
Go on so.
Cut me throat.
I tell you, murder's not
so bad, but people are.
They be telling you one thing,
looking at you, you're great,
and then pulling your
guts out at the same time.
Back the fuck off.
Did you ever think that
maybe you deserve it,
that you're the worst of them all?
All the time. Geez, I know
I'm a pure fucking cunt.
But at the same time,
amn't I helping yous now.
You better be, or I swear.
That's not swearing, woman.
You're in the fucking sticks now.
Just move.
I hoped you'd be better.
But you're just the same as them all.
A horsefly'd sting me more.
But I'm glad you're not dead, though.
There'd be no fun in that.
Well I'll show you now, a real knife.
Some stings are worse than others.
My father was a hunter, and my uncles.
Aim for the body and not the head.
Don't spoil your trophy, they'd say.
I was afraid you'd be better. I was wrong.
Nice knife.
Friends, dead or alive?
Dead.
Really?
If you wing a bird, you
put it out of its misery.
Hunter's code.
You know what actually?
That was something, your husband did,
pulling that yoke from his leg.
Do you think he knew he was gonna die?
Like, do yous know that
you're going to die?
I thought that leash
would keep you quiet,
but you obviously like the pain.
Pain's just like fucking life.
After a while, you don't
fucking feel it anymore.
Don't be so sure.
Would you torture me, would you?
I suppose you are in a way.
Do you like it?
Oh my God.
I'm always thinking that
civilization is a fine line.
We have this yoke on the farm, a pear.
You know, not the fruit
now, but this metal thing.
And in the Spanish Inquisition,
they used to push it right up inside you.
And there was a handle on it for winding,
and out it comes, like a flower.
We should've fucking gagged you.
You're not friendly at all.
We don't like psychos.
Ah, listen, girls. Are yous
all on the blob or what?
We're out here in the wild,
having a nature experience.
And God. God is nature.
No, no what I was thinking was,
maybe it wasn't brave
what your husband did.
Maybe you were a bad wife.
And he says to himself,
I'd rather die here than live with you.
Save it, you prick.
Sh.
Listen.
Susan.
Shit.
Brownie.
It's great to finally see you alone.
Did she die, yeah?
This is fucked, now
everybody's fucking dying.
But I can save you, you know.
You have to be smart now.
You're not in your office
anymore. You're in mine.
And in my office, things is different.
Number one thing, I'm the boss.
Not those lads, me.
And there'd be no fucking working either.
Unless, unless you call riding working,
which I suppose it is.
I'll make you an offer, Brownie babes.
If you marry me, I won't fight you.
Remember, you chased here after me.
You don't see the
gazelle chasing the lion,
or the penguin after
the Great White, do you?
No, you don't.
So don't fucking con yourself, woman.
It's marriage or death.
Steevy.
About fucking time for yous.
I have the bitch now.
Do you have any idea what
the whole group of them...
Don't move, you.
I told you to mind the farm.
I told you to keep an eye on the guests.
A thousand fucking times, I told you.
Don't.
I'm shot in the guts.
It's gone in the head you are.
I wanna tell you something.
Listen to me.
You're not my nephew from Timahoe.
Your mother was a guest at the farm.
My guest.
And when you dropped out,
there was a bucket of cold
water waiting for you.
But you, you never made a sound.
You didn't cry or nothing.
And that was the only time that you were
never a pain in my fucking hole.
You gone too far this time, Steevy.
There's no going back now.
You're done.
Bet you never thought this is
how you day'd turn out, huh?
Down here amongst the animals.
There's two choices.
We can go back to the
farm, talk about your life.
Or I can kill you here, now.
Go to hell.
Look around. Where do you
think you are, a camping site?
You think aiming your gun
makes you scary? It doesn't.
I've faced worse.
So kill me. I don't care.
I seen a photograph of you on the phone.
Bald head and a tube
coming outta your nose.
Cancer, was it?
Well, if you think that's the
most painful thing in life,
I'm afraid you're underestimating it.
I'm not scared of you.
I warned you.
I put up the signs, no
trespassing, but you still had
to walk onto my fucking
land, didn't you, huh?
You could have let us go,
like a normal, civilized person.
Civilization's where you live.
Where I live, people are worse than you.
The city eats you alive. Slowly.
Daddy. Are you my daddy, are you?
It's great to fucking meet you, Daddy.
Who's the fucking daddy now, huh?
You came back.
Sorry I left.
Are you okay?
Yeah.
Alive.
I wanna get a video.
Hey.
Gorgeous.
Another one.
Hey.
And here we go. We're here.
Last stop. End of the world.
Nice driving, babe.
Thanks.
For fuck. Is this it?
It is.
Cim Mr. Big Step.
We circle around and into the valley,
and then it's back here again.
And there isn't even
any phone reception.
Faced with the grandeur of nature,
and that's your concern?
We're trying to be
disconnected for a day.
I know that's very hard.
How long is this hike again?
Roughly 14 miles, give or take.
Jesus, you can feel
the wind from in here.
Good thing we've got men
to keep us safe.
I will always protect you, Babe.
Christ.
Okay, guys, make sure
you have all your stuff.
Water, protein bars, compass,
whistle.
Why would you need a whistle?
Fog.
One second it's clear,
the next you can't see
your hand in front of you.
You know accounts did
their team building in Milan?
Yes, but this isn't team
building. We're already a team.
If slightly dysfunctional.
I just wonder why we chose hell.
I think you'll find it's
a tad colder than hell.
Did everyone else not notice all
the burnt-up cars on the way up here?
You know, I mean, maybe someone should
stay behind and mind the car.
Ben, we all go or nobody goes.
Ben, where's your sense of camaraderie?
Okay, come on.
Let's do it. Everyone out.
Okay.
Oh wow, you can smell the
Heather. So fresh.
How are you feeling?
Yeah, great.
It's the first time I've driven
and a cyclist hasn't wanted to kill me.
I meant medically speaking.
I know.
Look, the doctor says I'm in remission,
so for now that's good enough.
If it gets too much for
you, just tell me, or Ray.
We know what you're
like. You power through.
Okay, everybody. Nobody
leave any valuables in the car.
Backpacks are over here.
Looks like your
husband's running the show.
Mm, the illusion of control.
Nice camera, Susan.
Thank you.
Why, though? Phones are so good.
I got my selfie stick.
To make sure to record
everything that Ben does,
so the office can see
what a little bitch he is.
We should get a group photo.
Everyone line up.
Come on, Ben.
Cheer up.
Cheese!
Oh no, we should get one
with the car in the background.
For the police report.
- Ben!
- Sorry, my bad.
Okay, guys, listen up.
So this path goes for about two K.
It's solid ground, so easy enough,
but after that it's off road.
Forecast is showers, but
we're already in the clouds,
so showers can get pretty severe.
The main thing is to watch your footing,
avoid the ridges and watch
out for the bog holes.
Bog holes?
Jesus.
And I just want to say thank you all
so much for doing this.
I know it's not the Riviera,
but let's just enjoy ourselves anyway.
And, if nothing else,
we'll be fit by tea time.
Yes, don't forget.
Set your FitBits, your smartwatches,
whatever devices you have,
and upload your steps
at the end of the day, okay.
That's really, really important.
Let's go.
Nice message.
Mm, thank you.
Slow down, guys.
Is this okay?
We were just talking about
that, but actually when you
have one crutch, it's the opposite side.
Wow, guys, fun time on the bog.
Oh my God, this is awful.
Just a bit of rain, Ben.
It's not just rain.
Rain comes straight down.
This is sideways, I feel
like a fucking sieve.
People are so shit. Why
would anybody do that?
The first part answers the second part.
Another crusade. She's off.
I was wondering, did she say anything?
Like what?
She wants to have a baby.
Which would ordinarily be
fine, but I can't have kids.
Oh, that's tough.
But I mean, most people decide
not to have kids these days.
State of the world, plus she's
had a health scare, so...
I just think she sees
everything as a challenge.
She won't take no for an answer.
There's talk of a sperm donor.
I don't think I reacted very well.
You'd still be the dad, and a good one.
Yeah.
Maybe a lone parent, though.
No, we both know how tough she is.
How many people face cancer and do this?
Or plan children?
Yeah.
I'm glad she has you.
You always look out for her, for everyone.
I'm not so good really.
Except to people I like.
Bad news, guys. End of civilization.
Thanks for the chat.
If you ever need a shoulder to cry on.
What are you two gabbing about?
Oh, just stuff.
Please tell me that's not the way.
That's the way, Ben.
It's all off road from here, guys.
The next five K is pretty rugged.
The next five K? Fuck.
Okay, everybody just be careful.
All right, single
file, troops. Off we go.
So is this a bog or a marsh?
Welcome to our 30s.
When you're
not in your usual habitat,
you don't know what to talk about.
It's a bog. I think
marshes have reeds and stuff.
You're so good at all this.
I feel like I have the shingles.
You should put
that on your Tinder profile.
It's like being on the moon around here.
Yeah, except there's
no plants on the moon.
You do know that?
Yes, I'm aware.
I was thinking about the
topography in general.
Oh.
Someone paid attention in geography.
It does look like a crater though.
Maybe there was an
asteroid strike, long ago.
See any birds?
No, but...
What?
I thought I saw someone out there.
Out there?
If there was someone, they
might have sunk in a bog hole.
It's pretty treacherous.
Yeah, I suppose.
It was actually really
weird, kinda creepy.
All right, Lisa, as
the designated guide.
Right. Left is no man's land.
He brought up the baby, by the way.
I knew he would.
You should have seen his face
when I suggested a sperm donor.
I bet that went down well.
Where is he anyway?
Oh, here they are.
Did you lose my hubby?
He wasn't with us.
Ray?
Ray!
I think he went that way.
Spread out.
Ray!
Ray!
- Ray!
- Ray!
Ray!
Guys, over here.
Honey, are you okay?
I'm fine, but I hurt my leg.
Stay there, we're coming down.
I've been yelling for like 10 minutes.
Jesus, what happened?
So stupid, I was taking a
selfie. I didn't see the edge.
Babe, try not to move,
okay. You might be concussed.
I'm fine.
Can you feel your legs?
My right one's sore.
Miriam.
Shit.
Okay, honey, there's a
splinter in your leg.
We're gonna have to get it out.
Ooh, wait. Don't.
Why not?
If it's deep in, there's
blood vessels, arteries.
Taking it out could make things worse.
Lisa, he's in pain.
I know.
Give me the first-aid kit.
Okay, I think we should tie it off,
give him something for the
pain, get back to the car.
Ray, we can take it out,
but there's a danger of bleeding.
Well I don't wanna bleed
out on the bog, so...
Okay.
Just in case you're concussed,
that was the most
entertaining thing so far.
You useless fucker.
Sorry.
Does anyone have any phone coverage?
No, nothing.
I'm fine.
I think it's just my pride
that's hurt more than anything.
Should have waited, dummy.
Okay, get everyone,
yeah? You ready to get up?
- One, two, three.
- One, two, three.
Oh.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Is there a full moon?
All of these Alpha females.
Ray, this is why you and
I are doomed, my friend.
That splinter could have
gone right into your man bag,
and it wouldn't have mattered.
No, sir.
In truth, there is a better sex toy,
a better book.
Even a cat video is more appealing.
We are witnessing in quite a
literal sense our downfall,
thanks to you.
If this is meant
to make me feel better,
it's not working.
Get used to it.
Mind your legs here.
Hang on a second.
Is it bad, Lise?
I don't think he'll get through.
Guys, listen up.
The rains basically turned
the ground into a swamp.
We need to get to higher ground.
Okay, which way?
Just over the Ridge,
there should be a forest.
If we can cut through, it should lead
to the main road, but...
What?
It's not public land.
Who cares? I mean, who gives a shit?
It's not like we have a choice, right?
Okay, show of hands, who
votes for the forest, yeah?
Up, good, let's go.
Come on up.
I know that face.
Anything in gray is uncharted.
Yeah, but it's a road, right?
That's what it says.
Okay, well I think in these
circumstances, that's enough.
As long as we get the hell outta here.
Wonderful.
Fuck.
Okay, in case of emergency,
I don't think it applies, does it?
There's another one.
Listen, it doesn't matter.
If we don't continue,
we're just going to keep
walking around in circles,
and he's getting weaker.
It's not like the city.
People who live in isolation,
they like their privacy,
for all kinds of reasons.
Oh come on, you make it sound like
we're some sort of invasive species.
Lise, I negotiate
multimillion-euro deals for a living.
My husband has a piece of
fucking tree stuck in his leg.
I honestly think that
if we meet some yokels,
I'll be able to explain
the unique circumstance.
I don't think we should cross.
I think we should stay here.
I'll get back to the
car. I'll raise an alarm.
We have daylight for several hours.
Plus, like you said, he needs a rest.
Okay, here.
When you find help, will you
get them to send an airlift?
I don't care if we're on the news.
Sure, okay.
Be careful, Lise.
Well, guess the age of chivalry's dead.
How so?
You don't think that shoulda been you?
I don't think it's
gone unnoticed that this
mountaineering nonsense is
not my number one skill.
But, now that we have some
time, I could show you what is.
Oh yeah?
Dream on, Ben.
Maybe you can find some sheep
to try it on with, though.
Worth a shot.
Hey.
Hey.
We're leaving now, okay?
Hey, guys?
What's up?
We're going through the forest.
Come again.
I'm not going to sit here
while my husband's in pain.
We all saw what it was like back there.
She's only gone 40 minutes.
Yeah, well, I've decided
something different.
You don't have to come if you don't want.
You can stay here.
Oh yeah, because I've been expressing
such fondness for this place all morning.
What about the signs?
Do you hear anything? Do you see anyone?
Okay, okay.
Sorry, guys.
It's okay. We'll get
you over that fence.
Ben.
Guys, what about Lise?
She'll figure it out.
Okay.
Ah, trees.
What about them?
Not exactly a goldmine.
You know, makes you wonder
why people get so precious.
I don't think it's unreasonable.
Say it's a farm. Outsiders
can bring disease.
And what about insurance?
They might think we'd accuse them
of negligence or something.
What is that smell?
Whatever it is, it's revolting.
What the fuck is this?
All right, let's just keep going.
No, wait.
Susan, leave it.
Yeah, Suzie, come on.
Oh my God. Jesus Fucking Christ.
What the fuck is this?
Jesus Christ.
Okay, it's dead wildlife,
and that's terrible,
but that's not what we're here for, Suzie.
We have to keep going.
Leave it.
Who the fuck would do this?
You guys go, okay, I'll follow.
Come on. Let's just get out of here.
Ben, you can't do something like this.
It's cruelty to animals.
And it's completely fucking wrong!
Bad things happen to
animals, you know this.
No one has to like it.
I mean, we all know the sanitized version
in the supermarket.
Does it make me a vegan? No.
Am I happy about it?
I try not to think about these things.
I don't give a fuck, Ben.
You can't do something like this.
I don't care who these sick fucks are.
When we get outta here,
I'm gonna report this.
Okay, very good, but in the meantime,
can we just fucking go?
I don't know if now's
a good time, but yes.
On the baby question.
Oh.
What?
We've discussed this hundreds of times,
and now is the moment that
you decide to say yes?
I feel like you'll leave me.
Babe, that's not the
right reason to say yes.
I don't want you to do this just for me.
I want you to do it for you as well.
If it makes you happy,
that's all that matters to me.
I think you have a fever.
I do.
Lovesickness.
Oh God.
That's a car.
Oh, thank God.
Or maybe not.
Okay, everybody just stay calm.
I don't think your gay
wave's gonna help us much.
Who breaks the ice?
Is it us?
Or them?
Look, I'll explain the
situation. This was my idea.
No, I'll do it.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
Morning. Afternoon.
How's it going, boys? Girls?
Strangers, is it?
Out for a bit of roaming?
Steevy.
Are you lost?
No, not exactly.
A friend of ours got into
an accident up in the bog.
Taking a shite, was he?
Steevy, shut up.
We just got cut off by the rain.
What do you think they're saying?
Let's just go back and wait for Lise.
I don't like this.
Not to spoil the party,
but I don't think I
can make it back there.
Okay, look, nobody say
anything about anything.
Hi.
I'm sorry for disturbing,
but my husband fell.
I hear yous were out on the hill, yeah?
Yeah, hiking, for charity.
What's the cause?
Cancer research.
Waste of time and money.
Sure there's no cure for that fucker.
Don't mind that fella. You're all right.
The leg, is it?
Yeah.
Sure, hop in the back
there. We'll give you a ride.
No really, we're fine.
We don't wanna disturb you.
If you could just point us in
the right direction actually.
Well, it's, it's several
miles, you know. Rough ground.
The river'll be swollen
after all that rain.
There's no bridge that direction.
Look, we'll get you halfway there.
You can make a phone call.
If you're sure it's no trouble.
Driving's fierce hard work.
Steevy, give them a
hand there, will you?
Thank you.
Why don't you get in the
back with Goldilocks there?
Do yous like it hot or cold?
This is our air con out here.
Hot, is it?
So do they pay you'se for walking?
It's sponsorship.
You walk a certain number of miles,
and then you raise a certain amount.
It's like fundraising.
That's a mighty explanation.
I'm all clear now.
But for walking, though?
Pretty much.
Pretty all right.
So, are we close to your farm?
Why?
No reason, just curious.
Curious people, are you?
No.
Did you see a sign when
you come in from the bog?
This is all private property.
You know, no right of way.
I didn't see any
signs. You see any signs?
No, no. Nothing.
Only city people'd be paid for walking.
You know, yous are cute, in every way.
So you own the whole forest.
I believe there's a
lot of money in timber.
Beetles, fungus, rot. No money.
The damp, you see.
Fucking damp. What a shame.
It's a shame all right.
I like your Jeep.
What do you like about it?
It's old. Unique.
You see, if Steevy had put the isopan on
like I asked him to, be
all right, wouldn't it?
There you go.
Come inside, we'll get you warm and dry.
Make a phone call from
in there if you want.
No, honestly, we're
fine out here. Thanks.
If that's fine, I'd hate to see bad,
especially that poor man.
Come on.
Okay.
Sit him down there.
Honey, you're gonna be all right.
We're gonna get some help, okay?
Take a seat at the table. Go on.
Steevy, go up to Pappy's old room there.
Call Mountain Rescue. And
get them up here quick.
Do you hear me looking at you?
Sure we'll have a cup of tea?
It's great to get the
weight off the feet, huh?
Thanks for your help.
He's gonna be all right, isn't he?
Ah, yeah.
Get a bit of heat into him,
he'll be right as rain.
So you're all brothers?
Oh, me and Tadhg.
Oh, I'm Neil, by the way.
I never introduced meself.
The other fella, sure,
what would you call him?
Cunt.
Nephew.
Oh, you'll have to forgive the decor.
We're a bit primitive
around here, you know.
Do you mind if I use your bathroom?
Oh, yeah.
How's your constitution?
We call it the privy
house. It's out that way.
To your right.
Thanks.
Oh, it's the maid's day off,
by the way. Just so you know.
Shit.
Remind me to get a tetanus shot.
Yous all right?
I was just admiring your fish.
Oh, that's Pikey.
He nearly took the finger off me.
I was trying to get a Cooper spoon out
of his mouth and aarrk.
Gave him a fierce whack
in the head, though.
And there he is now, up
there, looking down on us, uh?
How long do you think it'll
take for help to arrive?
How long do think it'll
take help to arrive, Tadgh?
It shouldn't take very long.
Shouldn't take very long.
What line of work do you do?
Business.
Not journalism no?
No.
How'd you get on?
Fine.
Do you take photographs?
Just Heather.
Nothing else, no?
No.
No.
Did you manage to
get through to someone?
Oh yeah, some lad's
coming up with a yoke
for fixing fuckers' legs.
Will you show us the Heather?
It's a dead battery.
Using the flash is a whore.
Do you not have a spare?
Is something funny?
No.
Then what?
People from the city think that people
from the country are fucking amadans.
Idiots of the highest order.
Culchies! Do you know
where the word came from?
Cl-an-T, literally.
The back end of the house.
Guys, we don't want any trouble here.
Sure I know you don't,
the gormless head on you.
But you mean to bring
trouble in on me.
Oh yeah.
You saw something. You think
you saw something.
With your notions looking
around all high and mighty.
Do you think I'm going to let you walk
outta here and bring shite
in on me, huh?
I got some bad news for you.
You're in the back of beyond now.
What did you give her?
That's what you get
for trespassing.
Miriam.
What did you do to her?
Steevy, stop horsing around, will you?
Lads?
This is all a big mistake.
Just keep the camera, and
we walk right outta here.
Sure, they all say that.
Sure, I won't tell.
Do you think any of them ever meant it?
No.
I don't give a shit about your deer,
or your wild animals.
I happen to like venison.
What I like more is breathing.
There's a photograph on the camera,
five of yous around the car.
Jeep.
Don't be a smart-ass
this stage of your life.
Same fucking thing.
Not really like.
I'm fucking warning you.
So, five of yous.
Who's Blondie?
Some hillwalker we bumped into.
Out for a stroll, huh?
Yeah.
Do you know what the
opposite of a culchie is?
A jackeen.
A contemptuous designation
for a worthless fellow.
I read that somewhere.
Are you? A worthless fellow?
You see, while you were sleeping
I had a root around on your phone.
And I found loads of pictures
of Blondie and yourself,
different places, all nice places now.
Okay, okay. She's a colleague.
She went back to the Jeep.
She's not involved. She
wasn't even on your land.
You're saying it is a Jeep?
Will you shut up?
I'll give you a root up the fucking hole.
Why does he get to call it
right but I'm the fucking cunt?
Because you are a cunt.
So.
How long since Blondie
went back to your, vehicle?
About an hour, hour and a half.
An hour.
Steevy, I want you to stay
here, mind our guests.
Mind, do you hear?
Do you not see me nodding?
I'll nod the fucking
head off you in a minute.
Just do as you're told for once, will you?
Come on you.
Oh, and, uh, just relax. You'll be grand.
What's wrong with you?
There's a lot of them.
More than usual.
Do you think I don't know that?
If we don't find this black sheep,
we say goodbye to the farm.
Steevy and his fucking pelts.
Who's this?
A friend?
You're a friendly, boy-o.
Do you have any porn on this?
No.
Are you gay?
No.
Like you're good-looking.
Not that I'd fuck you now.
But you have a certain aura about you.
Tell me, which of the two
girls with you is best?
Is it Goldilocks or the brown bear?
They're good people.
I'm not fucking talking about people.
I'm talking about
carnal knowledge.
See to me, you're a strange lad.
You're not married. You
have no ring on you.
You're not gay, so you say.
So what's the word for you then, huh?
Jackeen?
No wait, you might be.
No.
Can you be a frigid man?
Look, if you're being forced to do this,
you don't have to, there
is another choice here.
What's that?
Help us to get outta here.
We'd say that you did. We
won't press any charges.
You'll probably get all of this.
The whole farm?
Yes, everything. Right?
See the beardy fella's
right. You think we're stupid.
But worse, you think I'm stupid.
No no no, I think
you're actually clever.
You know the right choice here.
And how would you think that?
Are you reading me mind?
Because if you are,
what am I thinking now?
I'm thinking, where did those two fuckers
hide the custard creams, huh?
Oh no.
What? What is it?
I just realized something.
Did you piss yourself?
You're insane.
I am, yeah.
I am.
See this is only kind of a farm.
There's animals around the
place, wild and dangerous.
But most of them are on two legs.
Is that her?
Put on your happy face.
Another minute, we'd be fucked.
Hey there, are you Lisa?
We found your friends. They're safe.
They told us to come and get you.
They need you to drive them.
You can follow on up in
your car, if you like.
This bitch is deaf or dumb.
No, no she's not. She's neither.
Is she taking our picture?
There's no signal.
Didn't you rip all the
wires outta the five G mast?
She won't be sending them.
I could shoot her now
instead of standing here like a gombeen.
No, 50 yards from the
motorway and a motorcycle goes
past and sees you, that's
some fucking plan all right.
No, here's what I want you to do.
I want you to go up there
and introduce yourself.
Show her what a fine, upstanding
fellow you really are.
And come here to me. No messing.
Make it clean.
And when you're finished,
get the car keys.
And that phone.
We're going through the forest.
Do you hear anything? Do
you see anyone.
People who live in isolation
like their privacy.
Thought I saw someone out there.
Waste of time and money.
What the fuck is this?
It's dead wildlife.
Babe.
Babe?
Babe.
Ray.
What the fuck's happening?
I made a mistake.
I made a terrible mistake,
and now we're in trouble.
And I don't know how to get us out of it.
Can you get loose?
I'll try.
I think I can cut these.
Okay.
Hang on.
Okay.
Shut up do you here me!
Someone's coming.
Get the fuck away from me!
I knew you were cute. Cute as a fox.
Please leave us alone.
So you're awake as well?
Mighty.
But sure as fuck no one's talking to you.
Is he your husband? Is he rich?
Geez, he must be unless you're blind.
Are you blind?
I am rich.
I'll give you money. Just let us go.
Go where? The guards?
Yes, you're honor.
Sure, we had them tied up
but it was only the craic.
Can I have sex with her?
Don't you fucking dare.
If you lay a finger on
me, I swear I'll kill you.
You kill me? And how will you do that?
Do you have laser eyes?
Do you breathe fire?
Huh?
Hubby? Sure, he's not answering.
If you let us go,
drive us somewhere safe,
I'll give you 100,000 cash, no questions.
Sure you get that for washing diesel.
No, two million. No no.
Four million.
All right. Yeah, I can
do that, whatever you need.
Fucking wasting me time.
How about you, Brownie?
Let's see you try and kill me now, huh?
Fuck!
Ray?
No.
Ray. What did you do?
Listen, you need to get outta here.
Before he comes back.
Go.
You're coming with me.
Please, I can't make it without you.
You always do.
You're the boss.
Where is it you think you're going?
Steevy?
Steevy?
Yeah.
Steevy, where are you?
Oh, just taking a shite.
All right, listen, don't
fuck anything up there.
Yeah, it's going grand.
You fucking cunt, you.
All right.
Dirty little bollocks.
Susan?
Susan.
Susan, Susan.
Susan.
Miriam.
Sh, you're okay. Did they hurt you?
No no, but they will.
Where's Ben, and Ray?
Oh my God.
Listen, we're gonna fight this.
We're going to get out of here, all right?
Can you get up?
Yeah.
Okay.
Are you okay?
Girls.
How are you?
You're getting a great tour
of the old farm, aren't you?
Seeing all the best places.
See that? That's Dennis.
He was a fierce fucking beast now!
Whatever happens, trust me.
Did you say something?
How's your shoulder?
Oh, it's throbbing. Sure,
like all the best parts of me.
How's your husband?
Ah no, that's a bad fucking question.
I went in to see him there now,
and he's bled out like a stuck pig.
You didn't see the yoke
he pulled from his leg.
Look, that's it.
Look, who goes into the bog,
a place with no fucking trees,
and gets that stuck in him?
Are you sure it wasn't in the woods?
No.
Don't mind me. I'm only being a whore.
It's your fault, you know, he's dead.
And how is that?
You provoked him.
Sure, I was only dancing with you.
And don't be wearing those
yokes if you don't want a poke.
You might as well put a sign
on it that says, Enter here.
Can you even get a girlfriend
that you don't have to rape?
Rarely.
So you're throbbing then?
The only cure for pain is pleasure.
Right.
Are you afraid you won't be able to?
Hey, don't be fucking
daring me now, woman.
I could get up on the whinns.
What about you now, Goldilocks?
Are you the quiet type?
Put the knife down, and you'll see.
Such fine words, for such fine women.
What I won't do to you now.
Move and I'll cut your fucking throat!
Yous fucking whores.
Put those on him.
So that's your thing, is it?
You're a rapist and a pervert.
Oh, I'm plenty more things besides.
He's fucking high.
No, I'm low. I'm down in
the earth with the weeds.
Put that on him.
We're going for a walk.
You're gonna show us the way out of here.
I thought we were making love.
But now, we're making war.
Check his pockets.
Steevy, check in.
Is that your asshole uncle?
Steevy can't talk right now.
Did you kill him?
No, he's going to rot in jail,
just like you and your inbred brother.
Is that so?
You don't believe me.
Maybe I'll make him squeal.
That's what you like, isn't it? Pain.
And what about your friend, huh?
Lisa.
She's here with us.
Do you want her to suffer?
You're gonna do what you want.
There's nothing I can say.
But if you think that
there's something worse
than getting your pet
animal to kill my husband,
my friend, to try and rape me,
then think again.
There's always a fate worse
than death. I promise you.
Then I guess we're on the same page.
These radios don't have much
range, so you're close by.
I'm going to leave you a parting gift.
Stay the fuck away from us.
Steevy, you fucking cunt.
Was that wise?
No, it fucking wasn't.
When that whore's mad, he makes
me look like an altar boy.
You're making a fine mess
of this now, Brown Bear.
Wait outside.
Move.
Sure, I wasn't actually gonna hurt you.
This is only messing gone wrong.
No, I heard what you
said to the other fella.
The bull, you called him.
The things you were gonna do.
You're sick. And you're twisted.
Yous are fierce fucking wily
when it comes to fake sleeping.
I'll tell you, only a spider or a snake
would seem that dead.
But they'd be watching, and listening,
hatching their own fucking
schemes to eat you alive.
Stop talking.
So don't show you the way then?
What is wrong with you?
You know, I can take
the skin off a beast
in five minutes with the blunt knife,
and them hides is tougher than us.
So just imagine what I'd do with you.
Don't be scared now. I like women.
I like yous more than
anything else in the world.
Look, maybe, maybe we got
off on the wrong foot.
Who's to say a few magic
mushrooms and we're all fine?
Rosy in the fucking garden.
Don't tell me you started a fire.
Oh, you're going to be riling a monster
you don't want to be riding.
If it was a gift you wanted to get him,
he's awful fond of badgers.
What have you taken?
All I'll tell you is this is the worst
fucking escape I've ever seen.
He's fucking nuts.
Do you like nuts?
Which way?
Uh.
If you're lying, you're going to die
in a very painful way.
Ho, you're getting a
taste for this, you know.
Are you burning something at home?
Where are you?
I'm in Spain sunbathing.
Where do you think?
Black sheep is dead.
Steevy killed two of them,
and the other two have Steevy.
You're fucking joking me.
Yeah, I'm joking.
The shed is on fire.
And that fucking whore's cunt Steevy
has fucked everything
up from here to China.
Some fucking joke.
If you didn't pass them on the low road,
they're coming out this way.
I'll wait here. They'll
be two sitting ducks.
Yeah, well, I be downwind of you.
So don't fucking shoot me as well.
Pair of fucking gobshites.
Hurts?
Good.
Prick.
Hope you don't have a real dog.
That's all I'm fucking saying.
I'd say you have, a
chihuahua or a shih tzu.
Shut the fuck up.
Have you ever seen the faces on them.
How in the world would
you buy a dog like that?
Have you ever been diagnosed
with a mental illness?
Like what?
Schizophrenia.
Is that the one where
you're like loads of fellas.
That'd be great, wouldn't it?
You know, most people wanna
be Batman or Superman.
I don't like wearing rubber.
You know what I'm saying.
Fucking disgusting.
A woman scorned, huh?
I guess you have a right to be mad, sure.
That was a fierce thing done to yous.
I'm ashamed. Black is me heart.
Go on so.
Cut me throat.
I tell you, murder's not
so bad, but people are.
They be telling you one thing,
looking at you, you're great,
and then pulling your
guts out at the same time.
Back the fuck off.
Did you ever think that
maybe you deserve it,
that you're the worst of them all?
All the time. Geez, I know
I'm a pure fucking cunt.
But at the same time,
amn't I helping yous now.
You better be, or I swear.
That's not swearing, woman.
You're in the fucking sticks now.
Just move.
I hoped you'd be better.
But you're just the same as them all.
A horsefly'd sting me more.
But I'm glad you're not dead, though.
There'd be no fun in that.
Well I'll show you now, a real knife.
Some stings are worse than others.
My father was a hunter, and my uncles.
Aim for the body and not the head.
Don't spoil your trophy, they'd say.
I was afraid you'd be better. I was wrong.
Nice knife.
Friends, dead or alive?
Dead.
Really?
If you wing a bird, you
put it out of its misery.
Hunter's code.
You know what actually?
That was something, your husband did,
pulling that yoke from his leg.
Do you think he knew he was gonna die?
Like, do yous know that
you're going to die?
I thought that leash
would keep you quiet,
but you obviously like the pain.
Pain's just like fucking life.
After a while, you don't
fucking feel it anymore.
Don't be so sure.
Would you torture me, would you?
I suppose you are in a way.
Do you like it?
Oh my God.
I'm always thinking that
civilization is a fine line.
We have this yoke on the farm, a pear.
You know, not the fruit
now, but this metal thing.
And in the Spanish Inquisition,
they used to push it right up inside you.
And there was a handle on it for winding,
and out it comes, like a flower.
We should've fucking gagged you.
You're not friendly at all.
We don't like psychos.
Ah, listen, girls. Are yous
all on the blob or what?
We're out here in the wild,
having a nature experience.
And God. God is nature.
No, no what I was thinking was,
maybe it wasn't brave
what your husband did.
Maybe you were a bad wife.
And he says to himself,
I'd rather die here than live with you.
Save it, you prick.
Sh.
Listen.
Susan.
Shit.
Brownie.
It's great to finally see you alone.
Did she die, yeah?
This is fucked, now
everybody's fucking dying.
But I can save you, you know.
You have to be smart now.
You're not in your office
anymore. You're in mine.
And in my office, things is different.
Number one thing, I'm the boss.
Not those lads, me.
And there'd be no fucking working either.
Unless, unless you call riding working,
which I suppose it is.
I'll make you an offer, Brownie babes.
If you marry me, I won't fight you.
Remember, you chased here after me.
You don't see the
gazelle chasing the lion,
or the penguin after
the Great White, do you?
No, you don't.
So don't fucking con yourself, woman.
It's marriage or death.
Steevy.
About fucking time for yous.
I have the bitch now.
Do you have any idea what
the whole group of them...
Don't move, you.
I told you to mind the farm.
I told you to keep an eye on the guests.
A thousand fucking times, I told you.
Don't.
I'm shot in the guts.
It's gone in the head you are.
I wanna tell you something.
Listen to me.
You're not my nephew from Timahoe.
Your mother was a guest at the farm.
My guest.
And when you dropped out,
there was a bucket of cold
water waiting for you.
But you, you never made a sound.
You didn't cry or nothing.
And that was the only time that you were
never a pain in my fucking hole.
You gone too far this time, Steevy.
There's no going back now.
You're done.
Bet you never thought this is
how you day'd turn out, huh?
Down here amongst the animals.
There's two choices.
We can go back to the
farm, talk about your life.
Or I can kill you here, now.
Go to hell.
Look around. Where do you
think you are, a camping site?
You think aiming your gun
makes you scary? It doesn't.
I've faced worse.
So kill me. I don't care.
I seen a photograph of you on the phone.
Bald head and a tube
coming outta your nose.
Cancer, was it?
Well, if you think that's the
most painful thing in life,
I'm afraid you're underestimating it.
I'm not scared of you.
I warned you.
I put up the signs, no
trespassing, but you still had
to walk onto my fucking
land, didn't you, huh?
You could have let us go,
like a normal, civilized person.
Civilization's where you live.
Where I live, people are worse than you.
The city eats you alive. Slowly.
Daddy. Are you my daddy, are you?
It's great to fucking meet you, Daddy.
Who's the fucking daddy now, huh?
You came back.
Sorry I left.
Are you okay?
Yeah.
Alive.
I wanna get a video.
Hey.
Gorgeous.
Another one.