Him (2024) Movie Script
1
Scene 33-T. Take one.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- Roll sound.
- Sound speeds.
Roll camera.
- Rolling.
- Xav, on to you.
Are you comfortable?
Okay. Good.
Let's get started.
Are you truly ready
to get married and why?
Yes.
I feel like the only
single person on the planet.
I'm 30, so fuck yeah,
I'm ready.
Oh, shit.
Am I allowed to curse?
For sure.
Um, spiritually,
I'm open to the process.
To the journey. Sorry.
One hundred percent.
I've been praying to God
each and every day
to send me my husband.
Maybe this is it.
Well, I'm turning 26
in two years.
So I got to get married
before I get kicked off
my parents' health insurance.
I love that.
All right.
Describe your perfect guy.
Thoughtful, kind.
Thirty-five,
wickedly charming.
- I'm not picky.
- A dad.
-Rich.
-Intelligent.
Oh, but he has to like animals.
-Fucks like a demon.
-But no tech bros.
I mean someone who wants
to be a dad.
'Cause I want a lot of kids.
Not rich?
Okay. This is the big one.
Bear with me.
Who was your first love?
It was this Greek investment
banker that I dated
who didn't love me back.
I liked a boy in church choir
named Chandler when I was 14.
His pockets were deep,
but his love was not.
I asked him
to the Sadie Hawkins dance,
and then he laughed in my face,
which I told him I did not think
Jesus would appreciate.
My high school boyfriend, Jason.
I thought we were gonna
get married.
My college boyfriend.
It's the only relationship
I've ever had.
But well, I'm here now, so...
Never even got a ring.
You think people fall in love
at MIT?
I mean, you're too busy
writing Python
to be someone's soul mate.
So then what makes you
want to find love
on national television?
Well, it just seems like
everything matters more.
The stakes are high.
You can get engaged here.
If I say I want to build
my brand, is that bad?
I'm just excited to try
something new.
You know, have an adventure.
That's totally bad.
Don't use that part.
Well, the show couples,
like Blake and Serena
Peter and Ashley,
I mean, they are goals.
And it just makes me so excited
to think that I could have that
too.
Have you seen the kind of guys
you pick?
Zaddies.
Oh. Thank you.
- Yes, I agree...
- ...and consent...
...to being filmed...
...24 hours a day,
seven days a week...
...potentially through the use
of hidden cameras
and microphones.
And I recognize I will
have little to no privacy.
I am aware that...
...the production
can divulge information
about myself that could be...
- ...upsetting...
- ...unfair...
- ...unflattering...
...unwanted and unexpected.
Additionally, I understand
that my edit on the show
could result...
...in an inaccurate
and dishonest portrayal.
Woof.
What?
-Is that it?
-Let's do this.
Whoo!
Wait. Wait. Wait.
He showed up in your dream.
That's pretty romantic, Jenna.
Yeah.
I dreamt that I was
underwater.
I was swimming breaststroke.
I was state champion
in high school.
And I start swimming
past the other girls.
This is the one thing I know
I can do better than them.
And I see him
on the other side of the pool,
and he's waiting for me.
And suddenly,
all my elimination-ceremony
dresses fall into the pool.
The gold one from night one
and the red one
with the super-low cut that I'm
still embarrassed about.
The diamond earrings
my mom told me to wear.
Those hurt.
In the pool,
you don't wear jewelry.
You get rid of anything
that slows you down.
So are you saying
that you're scared
things aren't progressing
with him?
Exactly.
Because when I finally lift
my head above water,
it's not him at all.
It's Claire --
holding their baby.
It's like, how did nine months
go by so fast?
And suddenly I'm alone again...
with a bunch of dresses I hate
and earrings that hurt.
No baby.
No ring.
And no husband.
That was fucking
fucked up, Sarah.
Shana, you survived
a double date elimination.
I feel like you should be
more excited.
Scott, I'm taking Shana's
suitcase down to her room.
I should be excited
that he thinks I show my pussy
to OnlyFans?
Sarah, why the fuck would I be
excited about that?
-Literally shut up.
-Hey! That's a Georgia O'Keeffe!
It's like millions of dollars.
Yeah.
Well, it looks like a pussy.
And apparently those aren't
appreciated around here anymore.
Well, first of all,
sex work is work.
Oh, my God.
That is not why I'm mad.
I am from Vegas,
I love strippers.
It's just...It's just not what
I do, and you know that.
Okay. So he misunderstood you.
You got him to understand,
and now you get to stay
another week.
Lauren really wanted to stay.
You need to be grateful
that he chose you.
Now everyone's gonna think
I'm a fucking ho.
I mean, I am a ho,
but I do that for free.
Now I'm a business owner,
so --
-Of a lingerie brand.
-Oh, what?
You've never bought
a bra before?
Shut up, Sarah.
You just have to be careful with
how you present yourself, Shana.
He's looking for a wife.
Oh. How could I forget?
Wives don't have boobs.
Silly me.
Why aren't you backing me up
on this?
I'm helping you see things
from his perspective.
Okay.
Congratulations!
-You made it!
-Is that a problem?
No.
I just...
-Brynn and I got along.
-Cry me a river, Jenna.
Are you here to make friends
or get a husband?
Give me those chips.
Come on.
Thank you.
You smell like a YMCA.
Is there a pool at this house?
It's a villa.
I know we just moved
to this location,
but please remember when you're
on camera to say "the villa."
-"The villa."
-Cool?
It's down the steps
from the main patio.
Okay. Well, this villa is
certainly more exciting
than the desert picnic
from hell I was just on.
-What happened?
-He brought up his kids.
And you know what Shana does
for a living.
-That makes sense.
-It makes sense?
Bitch, what the fuck?
Come on.
Ladies!
You're a great girls!
He thinks you're great girls.
There's no need to fight
about it.
Shana, I'm gonna get with
everyone and see what they need.
You might have to get back
in your gown
and have a little chat with Xav.
-No. Come on.
-Don't take your makeup off yet.
I have to pee.
I am on my last fucking nerve
with Miss Girl Boss.
But you and Sarah
have always been so close.
What happened?
Normally, yeah.
But tonight -- I don't know.
I mean, she's my producer, and
she's supposed to be on my side.
She's, like,
weirdly defending him.
Well, what exactly did he say?
He's like, "Oh, blah, blah blah.
You used to do porn.
And I'm worried about how
that's gonna look for my kids."
Fucking piece of shit.
You think we're getting pizza
later?
I'm sure he didn't mean it.
Whatever.
This counter is like a Sephora.
Okay. Beauty is
a full-time job, Jenna.
Okay.
You know what?
Just because he's
some best-selling author
doesn't mean he's any better
than me.
And also, who the fuck told him
I did porn, Jenna?
Probably Adrienne, TBH.
Yeah.
That little bitch loves chaos.
Well, maybe he got confused.
Okay.
Burlesque is not porn.
Well, it's similar.
But nobody is having sex
on camera.
I don't know.
It's like the second
that I start to have
real feelings for him
is when he decides to act
like Ben Shapiro.
Oh, God.
I wish I could tweet about this.
I miss my phone.
You're being paranoid.
He's always liked you --
way more than he likes me.
Oh, my God.
You're such a Pisces. Blugh!
Hey.
I love this bed.
It makes me feel like
an American Girl doll.
I bet Greg encouraged him
to bring up the not-porn thing
so there was a more
dramatic ending to the date.
Yeah, but why do we even bother
at this point?
We all know
he's gonna pick Claire.
'Cause she's wifey.
She needs a manly man.
She's probably never had
an orgasm before
and is never gonna ask him
for one!
Oh, my God.
Stop.
Why do we care this much?
Ooh. Did you figure out
how to turn it on yet?
No.
Seven TVs in this house
and no remotes.
I literally looked everywhere.
I really want to know
who won "Drag Race."
You watch "Drag Race"?
Yeah.
I'm an ally.
Let's figure out pizza!
Where's Greg?
I bet he'd get us some.
Yeah, only because he's in love
with you.
That's not true.
I told you. He's gay.
Oh, so he's just staring
at your ass all the time
'cause he's disgusted by it
or what?
Shana, you decent in there?
Speak of the fucking devil.
Come in!
Hey.
I'm gonna need you
for one last confessional.
-Sarah said you're heated, so...
-Yeah.
God forbid I be comfortable
in my sexuality.
I apologize for the patriarchy.
Listen.
There's a bit of a situation
upstairs,
and we need all hands on deck,
so I'm gonna get you set up
for your interview,
and Xav will be up
-as soon as he can.
-A situation?
What about Friday pizza time?
Technically, it's Saturday.
And the others had sushi
while you and Lauren were out.
You didn't say anything
about sushi.
I mean,
I'm still down for pizza.
Just come up to the kitchen
with me
and we'll figure
something else out.
I don't think you can get pizza
in Sedona after midnight.
-Yeah. I hate it here.
-Don't fight. You'll lose.
And put your dress back on.
You can't do an ITM in your PJs.
It's a matching set, Greg.
So it is.
So, what's the situation?
Claire and Adrienne got
into some sort of argument.
We're getting some sound bites
before wrapping.
-Oh, shit. Can we see?
-It doesn't matter.
We're running behind schedule,
and we have to get
your confessional
while we still have hard night.
Can't you just do the interview?
You know the drill, Shana.
Xav does all
of the home-based ones.
-No exceptions.
-Okay.
Well, Xav is a piece of shit,
and you know it.
He's literally the only one
of you I don't like.
You like me?
Yeah, babe.
You're just easy to make fun of.
Xav feels like going
to the principal's office.
Also, it's 2:00 a.m.
And?
You guys haven't let me sleep
more than like three hours
a night this week.
I'm going totally psycho.
"He which hath no stomach
to this fight, let him depart.
His passport shall be made."
Yeah.
See, this is what I mean.
If you're gonna be quoting
Shakespeare,
you're an easy target.
-It's from "Henry V."
-Yeah. Seems fake.
-Okay.
Greg is basically saying if you
can't handle Xav, just leave.
Okay. Henry whoever
can suck a dick.
What does Xav want me to say
that I haven't already said?
Because I cried
at the dinner portion tonight.
Real tears this time.
Remember, Xav is interested
in peak emotions.
-God.
-Clearly yours tonight is anger.
So you'll have to bitch
about Lauren.
Would you do it for Apple Jacks?
No. I want pizza!
Also, I don't have
anything bitchy to say.
-For once.
-Lauren was just boring.
If you shit-talk her, I will
find a way to get you pizza.
-Deal.
-Great!
The sooner you do this, the
sooner we all get to go to bed.
I might not even have time
to go back to the hotel.
I might just sleep
on one of the pool chairs here.
Can you give us a hint
about the group date tomorrow?
It's a sexy Van Gogh Halloween.
There's a bunch
of paint supplies
and, uh, skimpy overalls
painting outfits.
Once again,
sorry about the patriarchy.
Shana is a go.
Sarah and Xav
to the front of the villa ASAP.
I'm glad at least
you get my quotes.
God.
I thought you were gonna watch
the interview.
Nah. She's Sarah's problem,
not mine.
I just feel like you're hovering
all the time.
I'm hovering
because it's my job.
Well, you're the lead's
producer, not mine, so...
Like, why are you even in
our house?
Villa.
Okay.
Well, go to his villa, then.
Why are you mad?
You okay?
Huh?
I, uh, watched the footage
of your confessional last week.
What about it?
Do you want me to talk to Xav?
Ask him to go easier on you.
No.
It's fine.
Coming in last
just messed with my head.
Don't worry about it.
Last week was a fluke.
You'll make it to the final four
next week for sure.
I'm gonna stop hovering now
and go look for pizza.
And I'm getting you water.
Your body's like 70% Chardonnay.
-Hey.
-Hydrate or die-drate.
All right.
We're ready for Shana.
Oh.
Do I have to take it off?
Jesus Christ.
It's cold out here.
You just need to give me
a few minutes, okay, babe?
If you put your coat on,
you're not gonna look as cute.
Good point.
Some lipstick.
Look.
I'm sorry if I was rude earlier.
I just want you to know
how high the stakes are,
because I'm totally rooting
for you, okay?
Like, this could be
your love story!
You just have to treat it
like one, you know?
No. I get it.
-Yeah. Thank you!
-Okay.
Ooh.
- Hey, Shana.
- Hi, Xav.
Listen.
I know it's late.
But I'm so glad to be
sitting here talking to you.
You got to be thrilled
that you survived
the elimination tonight.
Were you at all surprised
that he wanted you to stay
another week?
No. I knew Lauren
probably wouldn't last.
Honestly, I'm shocked
she stuck around this long.
Pretty vanilla, if you ask me.
I guess.
I mean,
she's definitely boring.
Have you ever noticed
that she smiles with no teeth?
It's like, are they yellow?
Did you never get braces?
Like, what else is she hiding
if her gums are under wraps?
- You know what I mean?
- Yeah.
-You're not wrong.
-Yeah.
You did seem pretty angry
throughout most of the date.
Tell me about that.
Uh, well, he was being
super accusatory to me
about my lingerie business.
It was...unexpected,
and honestly, I was offended.
I guess I don't get
why you still want to be here
if he upset you so much.
Well, things started out great.
Couples have highs and lows.
And that's, like,
totally normal, right?
Is it because you're worried
this might be your only chance
at love?
I haven't said anything
about love to him yet.
I remember you once told me
that you had only been in love
with one person,
who didn't love you back.
What does that have to do
with anything?
Well, don't you
want to be loved?
I mean,
we all want that for you.
This could be it.
O-Of course I want to be loved,
but I want him to love me for me
and not judge the things in my
life that are important to me.
And I-I agree --
It was wrong of him to judge.
Can you blame him for assuming?
It must happen to you a lot.
No.
No.
I just wish he didn't.
Do you think
you will ever be loved?
I don't know.
Okay?
I don't know!
You know what?
Maybe...
Maybe I don't want to be loved
by someone
who thinks that burlesque
is equivalent to porn.
And you know what?
Like, say the porn thing
was true!
Who fucking cares?
Like, wouldn't it be
to his benefit
to date someone
with a superior vagina?
It's just, you know...
...one minute I'm, like,
the hottest thing ever,
and then the next,
I'm a bad role model.
Just --
For fuck's sake, you know?
If this was my love story,
wouldn't I be happy?
Fuck this.
Man, it is just too easy
sometimes.
Hey. How'd it go?
Got exactly what we wanted.
Shame she'll probably
be sent home next week.
I'm kind of impressed
with her staying power.
Slutty ones don't usually
stick around this long.
Yeah.
-You heading back?
-I'm done.
The hotel or...
Sorry if you wanted a ride.
The shuttle's coming back
in like five.
Copy. I might actually just
stay here tonight, honestly.
I got a few more things
to take care of.
Scott's on house-manager duty.
I think you're good.
Tell him I'll trade.
The girls want pizza.
Really?
He'll be psyched.
You can give them the leftover
P.A. pizza from earlier.
Reheat it or whatever.
Ugh!
It's too bad we're wrapped
for the night.
It would be dynamite to get
a shot of Savannah bingeing.
Damn.
She's doing that again?
Xav's using it. Don't worry.
See you tomorrow, Greggy.
Jenna!
-What?
-Towel!
Mm...
Come on. Come on.
Come on. Oh!
I saw Shana.
Yeah. She's doing her
postdate confessional.
Shook.
R.I.P. Lauren.
Where have you been?
Having an existential crisis
in the hot tub.
Do you think he wants more kids?
Like, more than the twins.
I haven't talked to him
about that yet.
You have?
I used to think
I'd never be married
and I'd have, like,
a life-partner man and no kids.
The cool 21st-century woman.
A common-law marriage.
You're a law student.
How does that work?
Marine biology.
I mean, I like kids,
but can you imagine hooking
one up to your boob twice a day?
And I was looking at my bloated
stomach in my bathing suit,
and I...I kept imagining
a human growing inside of me
and if my kids with him
would get along with his kids
from his ex-wife
and would it be weird
because they don't have
the same mommies?
And then, like, me --
Would I get along with his ex?
He has primary custody,
so if I end up his wife,
those are my kids, like,
no matter how you slice it.
Am I ready for motherhood?
I've never been pregnant.
Does that mean I don't have
maternal instincts?
If I'm pregnant,
will I get fat again?
- Uh...
- Hear ye, hear ye.
Please rise.
-Wow!
-How'd you get it so fast?
Magic.
Does anyone remember
where the plates are?
By the way, I traded with Scott,
so I'm on house duty tonight.
Just swing by the basement
if you need anything.
Oh!
Hot Scott.
-Mm.
-Where's Shana?
Sarah said she finished.
Haven't seen her.
Oh, wait.
Is this vegan?
I'm vegan, so...I probably
just can't have any of this.
How do you even survive?
I eat food --
like normal people.
Right.
So normal.
Rude.
Studies have shown
that a plant-based diet
is the equivalent of walking
4,000 more steps per day.
Where did you hear that?
Instagram.
I still don't believe he's gay.
He looks like
an ultimate-Frisbee bro.
They're are masculine
gay guys, Savannah.
- Come on.
- Okay.
I still think he likes you.
You shouldn't believe
everything you read online.
I'm back, bitches!
Oh, my God!
Cheese.
Aah!
Mm!
-How was it?
-Stupid.
Oh.
Did you cry?
What? No.
It was just windy out there.
He and Shana had
their first fight.
Also probably our last fight.
Mmm!
Oh, my God.
I think I just came.
-Ew.
-Are you serious?
Let's be honest.
I haven't had many intense
sensory experiences
since leaving home.
Oh?
Story time.
Story time.
Did you hook up with someone
before you left?
Well...okay.
It was just my...
personal trainer.
Oh, my God. That's so hot.
Mm-hmm.
I mean, I still think about it
here when I'm...bored.
-You know what I mean?
-Oh, my gosh. Wait.
Same.
- What?
- Okay!
Well, he's not
a personal trainer.
-Oh.
-He's a guy I volunteer with
-at the animal shelter.
-Okay.
And he's not really ripped.
Like, at all.
But basically...same.
Yeah. I'm loving this.
Jenna, what about you?
Oh. No.
No one.
But you're so cute
and, like, sporty.
I haven't had a boyfriend
boyfriend since undergrad.
Is that the one
Xav made you talk about
on your solo date?
-Yep.
-Mm.
The one from the play?
Your first kiss?
Well, I only tried out
because he did.
Mm-hmm,
and you probably got the role
because you really were
low key in love with him.
Okay.
Well...
The chemistry!
-No. N--
-Stage kiss!
-No! Okay.
-Aah!
Hey. Everybody.
Shut up.
Can I help you?
Did you all turn in your mics?
So we're not gonna say,
"Congrats on not getting
eliminated, Shana"?
Has everyone turned in
their mics?
-Yeah.
-Yes.
Okay. Good. Everybody meet me
in my room in five minutes.
But stagger yourselves, okay?
Don't all come in at once
like a bunch of idiots.
You have to tell us what's
going on. You can't just --
Jenna.
Save it.
Okay. You come with me.
Everybody else, five minutes.
And be careful.
Adrienne, what happened?
We heard from Greg that
you and Claire were fighting.
Literally, Jenna, shut up.
Don't act weird or be loud,
okay?
I'm bringing the pizza.
Which crew guy's
on house duty tonight?
Greg.
He took over for Scott.
I don't trust that douchenozzle.
Wait. Why don't you trust Greg?
I just don't.
Make yourself useful.
Look for cameras.
Look for cameras?
Adrienne, what is this?
Don't touch it!
Nail clippers.
Now.
You're gonna get us
in so much trouble.
You are if you don't keep
your dumb mouth shut, bitch.
Okay.
This better be fuckin' good.
Because, honestly,
I was balls deep in some pizza,
and, Adrienne, I've had
a pretty traumatizing day.
So does this
just have to do with
what you and Claire
were fighting about?
We weren't fighting.
Greg was wrong.
Mm.
Did Jenna go to bed?
I...don't know.
Hm.
Oh. Okay.
I-I'll just, uh...
-I can go get her for you.
-No.
-It's chill.
-Okay.
I...I got her a Fiji.
Fancy water.
Has that been here
the whole time?
I've been drinking sink water
like a kitchen wench
in the 1600s.
Well...okay.
Bye.
Okay.
Gregthaniel thinks
we're off to bed.
And allegedly this..
is for you.
Ooh-la-la.
-Lock the door.
-We're not allowed.
Just fucking do it, okay?
Yo. What's that?
Don't all look at me
like I'm Santa.
This isn't a present.
It's fucking coal.
Whoa.
It's his.
Wait. I thought he got
his stuff confiscated, too.
-He's supposed to.
-This old-school folder
it was in says "drafts"
on the outside.
I'm guessing it wasn't searched.
He must have claimed this was
how he stores his notes
for his novels or whatever.
How did you guys get it?
Don't you want to know
what's on it?
-You figured out the password?
-It was his birthday, Jenna.
The man's not exactly Einstein.
And it doesn't contain the notes
to the next great
American novel.
No, he's been using
this thing exclusively
to message his manager, Jeff.
Sexy business Jeff?
The one from the basketball date
in L.A.
-The very same.
-So any insight
as to what he's thinking for,
like, top three or proposal?
Am I going home?
Adrienne...
The Thanksgiving roast
of Adrienne.
A dialogue between her boyfriend
and his manager bestie, Jeff.
"Yeah.
So today, the solo date
was with Adrienne."
"She the nerd?"
"Right.
Won't shut up about the fact
that she went to MIT."
"Doesn't count.
She got expelled."
"Definitely doesn't count.
LOL.
Nothing kills a boner more
than having to hear
leading-edge solutions
for systems analytics."
"LMAO. You cut her?"
"Nah.
She talked about her sister
committing suicide in college.
Couldn't eliminate her
after that.
Producer said
it'd be heartless."
"Oof.
Makes sense.
Plus, she's still hot.
Bet she gives good blow jobs.
Could be worth it."
And then Jeff sends
the purple devil-horn emoji.
Anyone want to browse?
Fuck my life.
Did he say stuff
about all of us?
Basically, he hates being here
and doesn't actually like
any of us.
The producers literally told him
to make out with Lauren
on last week's group date.
It wasn't real.
The kicker is that Jeff
convinced him to do the show
to get publicity
for his next novel,
which of course, already has
a movie deal attached.
From the same major studio
that produces this show.
This doesn't make sense.
Adrienne, you got
the first solo date.
That's supposed to mean
something.
Savannah, good morning.
He's been doing
what the producers
have been telling him to
this whole time.
He has made zero choices.
-Uh-oh.
-Give me that.
Hello, Jeff.
Shana, no.
-Too late.
-You dumbass.
Do you think he really texts
like that?
Isn't it more obvious
that something's up
if we don't write back anything
at all?
-Oh, God!
-Mm.
This idiot can't even spell
my fucking name.
Guys, chill.
I've got this.
Shana, I swear to God.
Are you kidding?
Wow.
Okay.
Fuck you too, sir.
-Ohh!
-Oh, my God!
No. Stop!
Come on.
It's kind of funny.
- No.
- Gross.
-Oh. That is so crass.
-Why, though?
I swear to God.
I can't with you.
What the fuck?
Hold on.
Hold on.
Sarah?
Wait, wait, wait.
Oh, what the fuck?
Sarah?
Our Sarah?
-Shana isn't my producer.
-That can't be true.
I feel like I'm gonna pass out.
I'm not kidding.
You have to say something
to him.
What the fuck am I supposed
to say?
Well, clearly Jeff is confused.
There's Shana and Savannah.
There was a Samantha
at one point.
- A lot of names start with S!
- Okay.
"No, I mean that chick Sarah
from production
that you're boning."
What is possibly confusing
about that?
I'm drinking this Fiji, Jenna.
I am for real gonna faint!
But -- Give me the tablet.
No more tablet privileges.
Actually, did anyone bring
the wine down here?
Who made you Henry
fucking Clinton, Adrienne?
-Leave me alone!
-Everybody shut up!
Give it to me!
We can't start fighting
each other.
We aren't safe here.
Every single one
of the producers,
even the ones we thought
were our friends,
are prioritizing him, not us.
-And Sarah just...
-Hey, Claire.
How could she do this to me?
You don't have to tell them.
No. I think I do.
So, he invited me to his room
last night.
Did you guys do it?
No.
We kissed.
It would have been
unconscionable to do anything
more than that
before the final four.
-Well, given the opportunity --
-Seriously?
Well, no, obviously not now.
But before knowing what we know.
I didn't even want to go
in there!
I didn't want to do
anything intimate
in front of the cameras.
But you know who pressured me
to go in there?
Not him.
Sarah.
She looked me dead in the eyes
and said, "Claire, it's you."
He's gonna fight for you.
I know it's gonna be you
in the end.
Wait.
So that's when you found this?
Yeah.
We were drinking some wine,
and he dropped his glass.
When he went to pick it up,
he cut himself,
and he started bleeding
all over the place.
At first it was kind of funny,
but then he just kept bleeding.
So they stopped filming us
for a while
because everybody
started panicking
about whether or not they'd
have to take him to the E.R.
to get stitches.
So while they figured out
what to do,
they put me in his waiting room.
This was right there
on the coffee table.
I was bored and curious
about his writing, so I looked.
- Does he know it's gone?
- I don't know.
I just sort of balled it up
in my jacket and went for it.
It's not like he could tell
anyone.
And then Adrienne saw.
We knew we had to tell you all.
That's why he thought
we were "fighting."
They filmed you
talking about this?
Oh.
God, no.
Fuck you, Claire!
How dare you?!
I'll pray for you, you B-word!
Drama equals they wrap
and get the fuck out.
Oh.
They should hire you, Adrienne.
You're literally a psychopath.
Yeah. Well, at least
I'm not enabling a cheater.
-Mm.
-Well, I mean,
we were all making out with him.
Isn't that cheating?
Oh, Jenna.
Be fucking for real.
Honey, next week,
four of us could have been
getting intimate with him
during the penthouse dates
in Paris.
And all along,
there was a secret player
who had already beaten us
to the finish line.
That sounds like breaking
the rules to me.
I mean, yes.
I'm upset too.
But I just think
there's got to be
a reasonable explanation
for this.
Why don't I read something
he said about you?
No.
We need to talk to him about it.
I'm with Jenna. I want to hear
what he has to say.
Oh. Well, overruled.
Adrienne, just because you're
like majority whip of this house
does not mean
you get monopoly
over how we decide
to handle this!
No. I told him things
I've never told --
Can I just have like 10 minutes
to be confused?
We have primary sources.
He thinks we're stupid!
And he's proving we're stupid
by cheating on us.
-What more is there to know?
-Adrienne, pipe down.
Savannah, Jenna,
I get how you feel.
None of us had any idea.
-Maybe we should have.
-What?
How many times have we come back
from spending time with him
feeling, like, a little...off?
You know?
Like today,
when he challenged me
on the objectively false
porn claim.
-Don't ask.
-Yeah.
Or like when he questioned
my "ability to be vulnerable."
-Like...
-But he loved that I'm smart.
Well, he fucking hated
that I'm smart, so...
Wait.
Adrienne, your sister died
while you were in college?
Oh.
Uh...yeah.
I'm really sorry.
It's fine.
That was only like two years ago
for you.
Did you...
Did you willingly share that
with him?
What do you mean?
Like, did it come up naturally?
Did you want him to know
about that experience?
I wasn't ready to share it yet.
-But you felt like you had to.
-Yeah.
I-I was convinced I was going
home if I didn't "open up."
Like, he made that very clear.
Wow. That was intense, Adrienne.
How do you feel
about what happened tonight?
I'm fine.
You're not embarrassed?
-I mean, I think I would be.
-I don't know.
Nothing I told him about MIwas interesting to him.
Then he finds out
I got expelled,
and suddenly
it's this whole thing.
Well, Adrienne,
you plagiarized something.
The cheating is a pretty big
red flag.
Don't you think?
He acted like I killed a guy.
Well, you really can't blame him
for not wanting to be
with a cheater.
It's not the same thing.
It was...
Well, I didn't get sent home,
so...
Mm. You're the youngest.
I think he likes that --
you know, your, uh, your energy.
Things took a turn
when you brought up
your sister's suicide.
-I don't want to --
-Tell me about that.
No, I don't want to talk
about that right now.
Okay. Well, he clearly
wanted to talk about it.
Yeah, I know.
Which is why I did.
But it was totally
inappropriate.
Do you feel ashamed
for talking about
your sister's suicide with him?
Yes.
Of course I'm ashamed of myself.
The only reason I did it is
because he said it was important
that I open up.
He said he was upset
that I didn't tell him
about getting expelled
and worried that I wouldn't be
honest with him moving forward.
I was scared of what he would
think of me if I said nothing.
He asked why I got expelled.
And so I told him about Annie...
and how her death
made me give up on school.
I should've just...
made something up.
It is important to open up
and be vulnerable.
I don't think the other girls
are afraid of that.
And it was a big deal
to get the first solo date.
Yeah, but why does opening up
mean sharing a terrible memory?
None of the other girls
have done that yet.
I didn't know what to expect.
I wish I could just...
take it back.
He really does like you,
you know?
I heard him tell Greg
that he thinks
that you are the most
interesting girl in the group
and he's seriously blown away
by how smart you are.
Jesus.
When I hear that, it's like..
I don't know.
How could I ever have
any doubts?
I'm completely obsessed with him
after like a week...
...and now I'm sitting here
feeling sorry for myself.
I just.
I don't know how I could be
feeling all these things
at the same time.
Oh, fuck.
Hey. Who's in there?
Oh, shit.
No one else is in their rooms.
Is this locked?
-You do this.
-What?
Just, you know,
make up some bullshit.
He'll believe you
over any of us.
Who are you talking to in there?
Okay.
E-Everyone look busy and girly.
Come on.
Just open the door.
-I told you he's gay.
-Yeah. Sure.
Hi!
What are you all doing in there?
W-We're just having
a little slumber party.
Shana wasn't feeling well,
so we wanted to make her
feel better.
I thought she wanted to go
to sleep.
She changed her mind.
All of you are hanging out
in there?
Even Adrienne?
- Mm-hmm.
- Weird.
Okay.
Can I come in?
Uh, yeah.
For like a sec.
-I'm opening the door!
-Go, go, go.
Hey, loser.
I was just wondering why
you guys aren't in your rooms.
Do you need something?
No. I...
Forget about it.
Shana, I hope you feel better,
but we have an early start
tomorrow.
We know.
What are you doing to your face?
It's a gua sha.
Beauty is a full-time job, Greg.
Okay.
Well, don't lock the door.
Bye, babe.
-Bye, Gregseth.
Okay.
Okay.
I really think he would have
helped if we gave him a chance.
What -- Greg is his producer.
You think he's on our side?
If Sarah's been fucking around
and she's actually
supposed to be helping us,
what do you think Greg is doing?
Wait.
-No. You don't think...
-What, Savannah?
That Greg is sleeping
with our boyfriend, too.
Savannah, no!
God damn it!
You can't actually know
what he's thinking.
But, Jenna, I do.
-You haven't read the texts.
-Adrienne, maybe we should --
The only reason you're still
here
is because Greg is telling him
to keep you.
Greg told him, and he told Jeff,
and I read all about it.
I don't believe you.
Fuck Greg.
Wait!
- What did he say?
- Ugh!
Greg can walk into the ocean
and die for all I care!
Greg can suck a whole bag
of dicks with ketchup
'cause he hates ketchup!
Ugh!
I need to, like,
body-check someone.
-Oh, my God.
-This is bad.
Here.
I'm Greg.
Harder.
Oh!
Okay.
He's totally in love with you.
He's gonna pick you!
Okay.
Whoa. Chill.
Aah!
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
Are you okay?
Uh, no.
Are you kidding?
That was incredible.
Uh, not to state the obvious,
but, Jenna, the one
you're mad at here is Greg?
- What?
- Yeah.
How do you know
he hates ketchup?
- Yeah.
- All right.
I...
We went to college together.
Oh, my God.
No.
No, no, no, no!
He's your ex.
He's your first-kiss
school-play ex!
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God!
-You said Greg was gay!
-What?
-Isn't he?
-No, Claire, he's not gay!
-He's in love with Jenna!
-I called it!
- I just...
- Wait.
Has anything been going on
with him here?
No.
I hadn't seen or spoken to him
in three years until I got here.
Why'd you guys break up?
Just normal life stuff.
Like, spent a year
living together in Seattle
before he decided he wanted to
move to New York for acting,
and I wanted to go to Stanford,
so it was just a mess.
But he -- he doesn't live
in New York.
-He lives in L.A.
-Yeah.
Which is crazy to me,
because he specifically
didn't want to move
to California with me
because it wasn't a place
for serious theater actors.
Wait.
That's what he wanted to do?
-What the hell happened?
-I don't know.
But he's here in Arizona
coaching a man
on how to fake-date me,
so I can't imagine it went well.
Leapin' lizards.
Seriously, you guys,
you can't tell.
If Xav found out.
Greg wouldn't be allowed
to work on this season.
And he just got promoted
to lead producer, so...
Okay. Great.
So we're gonna use him, right?
Use him for what?
To reveal the truth
about our boyfriend.
Oh, okay.
So...plan.
-Adrienne.
-Oh.
Oh.
Well, it's either us
or the brand, right?
Their problematic lead
is more important to them
than the five chicks they found
on Instagram to date him.
I think we should all just quit
at once.
But won't the network
just cover it up?
Yeah. I think we can get sued
if we breach our contract.
No, no.
Claire's dad's a fancy lawyer.
-I think we'd be fine.
-That's an oversimplification.
Well, he did represent
that one congressman who --
Personally, I'd also like to set
fire to all the film equipment,
but I don't think
we could get away with arson.
-Bitch, what?
-No. Please. No arson.
My God.
It was a joke.
I'm not gonna start a fire
in a desert.
Guys, those contracts
were so long.
No. But I feel people break
those contracts all the time.
Like, who here has money
they would sue for anyway?
-Claire's rich.
-Why are we talking about crime?
Breaking a contract
is not a real crime, Jenna.
-Arson is.
-Yeah. No shit.
-That was a joke!
-Girls!
Listen to me.
Last night, I told him
I was falling in love with him.
Not because some producer
convinced me to,
but because I really felt it.
That's insane!
I left my home, my family,
my job, my whole life.
All I do here is cook
and eat and drink
and wait to find out
when I'll get to see him again
and if we'll get to be alone
or if I'll be competing with all
of you for a sliver of time.
Every moment I am awake,
they are trying to turn me
against you all
and make me fight for him.
So I am done!
I am done sacrificing myself,
my sanity,
and my life for this man.
And I need you all in on this
with me.
Oh, God.
Are you okay?
-No.
-Oh, fuck!
Fuck.
Did anyone else have
the tuna sushi and pizza
or was that just me?
Bathroom.
We're gonna take five.
Wait.
Savannah, get Greg.
-Fuck, no.
-No. He bought your lies before.
He will buy them again.
So, Savannah,
just get Jenna to the bathroom
and, um, find Greg and tell him
that Jenna's not feeling well
and she wants to see him.
And then,
when he comes looking for you,
you should try to get
the storage keys.
What?
Why?
Because that is where
our phones are
and our passports.
I don't want to see Greg,
and I don't think I even agree
with you guys
on what to do about this.
Jenna, they've been
manipulating you for two months.
Maybe you can't get on board
with exposing the douchecanoe
who ruined your chance at love,
but I bet you can get behind
fucking with Greg.
Right?
Fine.
Good.
Um, I still have no plan
beyond the phones,
so this could be useless,
but just try to get the keys.
-I feel like they're usually --
-On his belt loop.
-It's weird that you know that.
-Don't look at me like that.
-Can I go puke now, please?
-Oh, right. Sorry.
Thank you.
Are you gonna be okay?
Yeah.
Promise.
Okay.
Uh, just sit tight, Savannah.
It's gonna be a few minutes.
The camera battery died.
Um, can I get a soda
or, like, a Mountain Dew?
I'm dying.
Uh, how about a seltzer?
Yeah. Cool.
Fine.
No worries.
I'll pull it together.
Yum.
Yum. Could a P.A. grab
my stress ball, actually?
I mean, no worries if not.
I'm super sorry,
but I'm, like, super tired.
Can we start now?
Well, they still have to
switch the camera battery out.
But I guess you and I
could just shoot the shit.
Safe space.
No mics.
- Okay.
- Okay.
So...how does it feel?
You finally got your solo date.
One of the last ones.
I know.
That was great.
Oh. Come on.
Sorry. Sorry.
I should be more grateful.
Uh, he rocks and is...
...very, very cute.
Do you --
Do you know you're doing that?
Doing what?
The little noises.
Uh, I-I didn't...I didn't know.
Um...
I just feel like you sound like
a child when you talk like that.
Oh.
You know he wants
a mature woman.
So...doesn't that concern you?
I mean...
I don't want him to think
I'm, like, a baby or anything.
That would be weird.
So are you worried
maybe he's not as attracted
to you as the others?
Well, no.
I've made it this far.
There are only six of us left.
Yeah.
Variety is the spice of life,
right?
Right. Exactly.
He thinks I'm funny.
Yes, yes.
But, you know, physically.
I mean...you've seen
what everyone else wears.
They look like women.
I-I thought I looked
really pretty in what I wore.
Ruffles? Come on.
What are you trying to be,
a Black Zooey Deschanel?
I'm kidding, obviously.
I just don't like showing off
too much.
Well, the others show off.
Well, I...
It's their right to show off,
I guess.
I don't...
Do you think
he's more physically attracted
to the rest of the house?
Why?
Did he say something to you?
No, not really.
There's just a lot of
beautiful women here, you know?
You don't want to be a girl.
Yeah.
There are.
There are what?
There are a lot
of beautiful women here.
Savannah, I just want
the best outcome for you, okay?
So, you know,
maybe no more Mountain Dews.
Let's stick to the seltzer.
I am aware that the production
can divulge information
about myself
that could be upsetting...
- ...unfair...
- ...unflattering...
...unwanted and unexpected.
Additionally, I understand
that my edit on the show
could result in an inaccurate
and dishonest portrayal.
Sucks to be called last
during eliminations.
I don't know what to do
at this point.
This is embarrassing.
But he still kept you.
It's something
I was last.
I'm tired of not being enough
for people.
It's too hard.
Well, Jenna, nobody said
this was supposed to be easy.
Are you saying
maybe you want to quit?
I'm just drowning at this point.
Will that ever change?
I just wonder, like, why is love
so unattainable for me?
That's the problem.
You don't let anyone see
how you really feel.
And if you don't start
opening up to him,
you might keep feeling this way.
Do you want to feel this way
forever?
Jenna?
Savannah said you're sick.
Are you okay?
Seriously.
Do I need to call a medic?
No cameras.
The crew's at the hotel.
I got nothing.
Uh, S-Savannah said
you wanted to see me.
Yeah. I was hoping
you could get me some Gatorade.
I just really don't want
anyone else knowing I'm sick.
Of course.
You're lucky it's not Tom
on house duty.
He'd be scrambling
for that 911 cash call.
Yeah.
I also don't trust the hospital
situation in rural Arizona.
Totally.
But maybe when you feel better,
you can talk to Xav about it.
I can't even think about Xav
right now.
You're right.
He did upset me
in the confessional last week.
He thinks I'm desperate.
They're giving me that edit,
aren't they?
-No one thinks that.
-I don't know who to believe.
Okay.
Well, believe me, then.
Okay.
Then produce me.
You do the interview.
What?
You wouldn't be like Xav,
right?
Come on, Jenna. What does it
even matter what I think?
-Are you on my side or not?
-Of course I'm on your side.
-Then fucking do it.
-Okay.
Jenna, how do you feel
about the fact
that you haven't gotten
a solo date in three weeks?
It blows.
Rephrase the question
in the form of a statement.
You know better.
It blows that I haven't gotten
a solo date
with him in three weeks.
Do you think it's 'cause
he's over you?
No, I don't think
it's because he's over me.
But if he really liked you,
he'd make time for you, right?
Maybe.
You know...
he told Claire he was
falling for her two nights ago.
No. I-I knew she...
But I didn't know he --
Come on.
You've got to step it up.
You bore the shit out of me
when you talk to him.
I'd rather staple my hands
together
than watch you two on-screen
together.
Greg, what the fuck?
You're like social tofu
when you're with him,
Y-You're always making yourself
more bland and regular
in order to be palatable,
never too loud or bitchy
or sexy or bossy.
-Is that fun for you?
-So what are you suggesting?
I'm just saying
you could go home tomorrow.
Is that what you want?
So what do you want?
I just wish I was enough
for him.
I don't think
you'll ever be enough for him.
Stop it, Greg.
I love him.
Wow. I, uh...
Oh, God.
Okay, then.
Consider yourself produced.
Why did you say those things
about me?
It's not real.
It's a tactic.
I got you to admit
you loved him.
Is anything real here?
Fuck you.
I don't actually think
those things.
It's just fucking hard
to watch you build him up
and talk about how great he is.
I mean, you're here
because you make him feel good.
But does he make you feel good,
like -- like I did?
Greg.
Did you not think I saw
the footage of your solo date?
You talked about that guy
who you said you thought
was the love of your life.
Oh.
Were -- Were you...
Yeah...I was.
I was talking about you.
-Mm. Oh, my God.
-Jenna.
Mm.
Sorry.
It's okay.
God.
That was just...
kind of weird to hear...
...'cause...
...I miss you.
We broke up because we were
gonna be on opposite coasts.
If you missed me, I was
right there, six hours away.
Did you want to see me?
I don't know.
Well...maybe.
You're still a piece of shit
for producing me.
You asked.
I didn't know you'd be so good
at your job.
"This is the most unkindest cut
of all."
"Julius Caesar."
How can I make it up to you?
Gatorade, remember?
And...a hug might be nice.
I miss this.
Yeah.
Uh, yes.
Um, me too, kid.
Okay, then.
Nice.
Gatorade.
Yeah.
Perfect. Yeah.
Okay.
So that you don't die-drate.
I'm very excited
to stop die-drating.
Yeah.
Do you still think
you have a chance
-at an engagement with him?
-I hope there's a chance.
I mean, you're ready
for marriage, right?
Oh, I've been ready.
All my friends are married...
or engaged.
My sister got married
when she was 25.
Yeah, I get that.
You feel like everyone
in your life is waiting on you
to seal the deal.
I feel like everyone is waiting
for me to say my lines,
but I don't know what they are.
I am inherently unequal to all
of them because I am single.
You know,
I spent thousands of dollars
and months of my life
celebrating these marriages --
bridal showers and weddings
and bachelorette parties.
None of that effort will
be reciprocated if I am alone.
They will never spend that time
or money celebrating me.
So then what do you think
is the problem?
Do you think you're unlovable?
I mean...no.
Maybe I just haven't found
the right guy.
But, like, this could be it.
I just keep thinking...
"Wouldn't it be nice
to finally win something?"
Do you think
you'll ever get there?
Have you ever gotten close
to the kind of love
that would lead
to an engagement?
We must get married at once.
There's no time to be lost.
Married, Mr. Worthing?
Well, surely.
You know that I love you.
And you led me to believe,
Miss Fairfax,
that you were not entirely
indifferent to me.
Oh, I adore you.
But...you haven't proposed
to me yet.
Nothing has been said at all
about marriage.
The subject has not even
been touched on.
Well, may I propose to you now?
I think it would be
an admirable opportunity.
And to spare you any possible
disappointment, Mr. Worthing,
I think it only fair to tell you
quite frankly beforehand
that I am fully determined
to accept you.
Gwendolen --
Yes, Mr. Worthing?
What have you got to say to me?
You know what I have got to say
to you.
Yes, but you don't say it.
Gwendolen, will you marry me?
Oh, of course I will, darling.
How long have you been about it?
I am afraid you have had
very little experience
in how to propose.
My own one,
I have never loved anyone
in the world but you.
Yeah.
I came close a long time ago.
I don't understand
why you haven't told him
about your past yet.
If you've been in love before,
you should know
what it feels like.
Jenna, I think you have
two choices here.
You tell him you love him
and even if he doesn't
love you back,
at least America loves you.
The other choice --
You stay in that scary,
unlovable zone.
Is that what you want?
- Ready?
- Yeah, I think so.
I know. That went so well.
No. I don't want to
get ahead of myself.
Claire, come on.
It's you.
He's gonna fight for you.
I know it's gonna be you
at the end.
Trust me.
Ready to go?
You look great.
Aw.
Thanks.
How are you feeling about him?
Honestly, amazing.
This is crazy!
I can't believe this is my life.
Tell me about how today went.
Today was real.
I forgot about everyone else
for a few hours.
It was like we were the only
two people that existed.
But now you have to
go back to the house.
What are you gonna tell
the others?
You already got your solo date.
He asked specifically
to get another one with you.
Well, I don't want anyone else
to feel bad.
Their feelings
aren't your problem, Claire.
Don't you want to share
how great you're feeling?
Well, I don't know.
Maybe.
He told me that he had dreamed
about his future wife
and in his dreams,
she looked exactly like me.
That's -- I mean,
that is God's work for sure.
You're falling for him.
I am so falling for him!
I want this feeling forever.
What exactly is that feeling?
Safety. Joy.
Warmth.
Hope.
And you don't have any doubts?
You have seen the way
he kisses Shana.
Shana is not wife material.
Not to be crass.
But why would I have any doubts?
He lays it all out there on the
table for me every time we talk.
I know where I stand.
I am confident
that he is my person.
I really am.
And what a gift it is to meet
a man so honest and so kind.
I just got word that he's asking
for you to come to his room.
His room? Now?
Alone?
Well, no. With us, of course.
But yes, now.
Greg said that he's asking
for more time with you.
Oh, Claire. Can't pass that up.
I mean, no one ever gets
extra time after a date.
He must be really serious
about you.
Oh, my God.
I-I don't know.
You know Shana would do it.
And I don't want you
regretting anything tomorrow.
And you don't want him thinking
you're not excited
about the extra time together.
No.
Y-You're right.
Sure.
Let's go.
Attagirl.
I'll bring you both some wine.
Claire.
Hi.
You look worried.
Do you want to play
with my stress ball?
Okay. Sure.
Why not?
Is it helping?
I've squeezed it once.
Oh. Yeah.
Might take a couple of minutes.
I'm really sorry
you had to be alone.
-What?
-When you found the text --
like, before you told anyone.
That must have been really hard.
Yeah.
Thanks.
During this whole experience,
I kept waiting
for the other shoe to drop
'cause it just felt too good
to be true.
It just never occurred to me
that other people
don't take relationships
as seriously as I do.
I certainly thought
he was serious.
He's a dad.
Dads don't like to fuck?
And Sarah.
It's like....
I really thought
she was my friend.
This might sound crazy -- or
maybe you felt the same way --
but every time I talked to her,
it felt like therapy.
I know.
It's fucked up.
We're gonna need real therapists
to get over our fake ones.
I'm gonna miss you.
I know they say all that stuff
about not coming here
to make friends, but, you know,
I'd rather leave here with
four people who have my back
than one loser guy who doesn't.
Yeah.
I'd do it all again if it meant
I'd still get all of you.
Mm.
Mm!
I think it's working now.
Ah.
So, what's the first thing
you're gonna do when we get out?
What is this, prison?
I mean, kind of.
Mm. Probably go to my favorite
restaurant in Charleston.
They do this mushroom
truffle pasta.
that is unbelievably good.
-Mm.
-You?
I've been thinking
of getting into wax alchemy.
Candlemaking.
Can I ask?
What did he say about you?
"Cool.
She likes to cook.
Women these days just aren't
made like that anymore."
Ew.
"At first I was worried
that she thinks
she's a writer too.
Joke's on her.
She wants 5 million babies.
She'll be so busy
popping them out,
she won't have time
for hobbies."
Did you memorize that
word for --
What a predictable cumdumpster
of misogyny.
You have another stress ball?
Obviously.
One for each hand.
Jenna, you still in there?
I have the Gatorade.
Yeah. One second.
All we had was lemon-lime.
I hate to say this, but...
you look terrible.
Are -- Are you sure
I can't get you anything else?
Should we go to the hospital?
Maybe some Pepto Bismol?
You mean now?
At this hour?
I...
We're in the desert, Jenna.
Where could I get that?
-I don't know. I --
-I'm sorry.
Uh...
...I'm in charge.
It's my problem.
I'll figure something out.
There's got to be
a 24-hour Wal-Mart in Cottonwood
or Flagstaff or something.
But that might take me an hour.
Can you wait that long?
You think so?
I can text you to let you know
how I'm doing, but...
Right.
Just use the house phone
if there's an emergency.
The shuttle's gone
for the night,
but I'll take
one of the resort vans.
I, uh, I hope you feel better.
"They did make love
to this employment.
They are not near
my conscience."
That one's "Hamlet," bitch.
Hey. Everybody.
Get up here.
Jenna.
Where's Greg?
He's gone.
Read the texts.
I thought
you didn't want to know.
I changed my mind.
Okay.
"Jenna's fine.
It was a water-skiing date."
"Got to see her all wet, huh?"
Mm. Purple devil emoji.
Creative.
"I don't know. She's a swimmer.
She's kind of bulky.
I don't know what made her think
the bikini was gonna be
flattering.
LOL."
"Oh, never mind. Ha ha."
"I mean, she has a great face,
and she can be cute
and quiet and not offend anybody
if she's a zero
on the crazy scale."
"Think she'll last?"
"I don't know.
I mean, I'm not a racist,
but can you imagine
me meeting her family?"
Okay.
I'm in.
Fucking finally, Jenna.
You guys, I...
I really thought
I was in love with him.
Hey, I know we all signed up
for a TV show about finding love
and -- and getting married,
but it's pretty insane
how we treat marriage
like it's this huge
accomplishment.
I mean, reality is, it's pretty
fucking easy to get engaged.
Speech!
Speech!
Speech!
Maintaining a healthy,
mutually supportive,
and beneficial relationship
for like 20 years --
That is an accomplishment.
But if the biggest thing
we all have to be proud of
is, like, convincing somebody
to be our fucking husband?
Like, dude, that's so bleak!
We all have much bigger and
better things to be proud of,
and fucking leaving this show
will be one of them.
Hell, yeah.
A toast.
To the journey of our lives.
Not Henry Waynesworth
Douchepillow.
Yeah!
-Whoo!
-Whoo!
Wait. Wait.
So what is the plan exactly?
You know what else
is in the production office?
Art shit.
Let's do art shit.
Hey!
Yeah!
Just throw that in there!
Come fuck shit up!
Ra-a-a-ah!
How would you feel
if you got sent home tonight?
On night one?
I'd be so embarrassed.
Well, you look amazing.
There's no way he'll forget you.
Thanks.
I hope you're right.
I hope he never forgets me.
That looks fucking sick, Jenna.
You ready?
What the fuck are you doing?!
-Aah!
-Guys, I'll handle this.
Is anyone moving yet?
I need Xav now.
No. No.
- Oh!
- Are you insane?!
Oh. Oh.
You are a bad man.
Okay. Not part of the plan,
girlfriend.
Guys, stop it.
Greg, inside now!
Ooh!
Talk to me, Jenna.
This is crazy.
Where did you get this?
He had an iPad.
Claire found it.
Wait.
Jenna --
No.
I'm done.
I have listened to you
for two months
and believed you every time.
That's how this show works.
-We do that to everyone.
-That doesn't make it right.
This isn't a documentary, Jenna.
It's entertainment.
It's supposed to be fun.
Fun for who?
I have a job to do.
You signed up for this.
Fuck your job, Greg.
Well, you lied to me tonight,
too.
Under very different
circumstances.
I didn't know
about these messages.
But you knew
what he was really like.
I bet you knew about Sarah, too.
God. This is what I have been
trying to tell you.
You are so much better than him.
Yet you are the one
who kept me here
and made me suffer
through this shit.
You're just a different version
of the same problem.
Do you have any idea
what it is like
to watch the girl
you are still in love with
fall in love with someone else
in front of the entire country?
I mean, yeah.
Keeping you here longer
was my idea.
And the execs encouraged it.
But I was hoping
that more time around me
might make you...feel the same.
You don't love me.
You love me here,
and here isn't real.
Fuck, Jenna.
I...
I'm sorry.
I need you to read
one more thing.
"Though those that are betrayed
do feel the treason sharply,
yet the traitor stands
in worst case of woe."
"Cymbeline."
Hey.
Where's Greg?
Crying in the bathroom.
Oh, fuck!
No shit.
Girls fuckin' rule.
Let's go.
And I just keep thinking...
"Wouldn't it be nice
to finally win something?"
Scene 33-T. Take one.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- Roll sound.
- Sound speeds.
Roll camera.
- Rolling.
- Xav, on to you.
Are you comfortable?
Okay. Good.
Let's get started.
Are you truly ready
to get married and why?
Yes.
I feel like the only
single person on the planet.
I'm 30, so fuck yeah,
I'm ready.
Oh, shit.
Am I allowed to curse?
For sure.
Um, spiritually,
I'm open to the process.
To the journey. Sorry.
One hundred percent.
I've been praying to God
each and every day
to send me my husband.
Maybe this is it.
Well, I'm turning 26
in two years.
So I got to get married
before I get kicked off
my parents' health insurance.
I love that.
All right.
Describe your perfect guy.
Thoughtful, kind.
Thirty-five,
wickedly charming.
- I'm not picky.
- A dad.
-Rich.
-Intelligent.
Oh, but he has to like animals.
-Fucks like a demon.
-But no tech bros.
I mean someone who wants
to be a dad.
'Cause I want a lot of kids.
Not rich?
Okay. This is the big one.
Bear with me.
Who was your first love?
It was this Greek investment
banker that I dated
who didn't love me back.
I liked a boy in church choir
named Chandler when I was 14.
His pockets were deep,
but his love was not.
I asked him
to the Sadie Hawkins dance,
and then he laughed in my face,
which I told him I did not think
Jesus would appreciate.
My high school boyfriend, Jason.
I thought we were gonna
get married.
My college boyfriend.
It's the only relationship
I've ever had.
But well, I'm here now, so...
Never even got a ring.
You think people fall in love
at MIT?
I mean, you're too busy
writing Python
to be someone's soul mate.
So then what makes you
want to find love
on national television?
Well, it just seems like
everything matters more.
The stakes are high.
You can get engaged here.
If I say I want to build
my brand, is that bad?
I'm just excited to try
something new.
You know, have an adventure.
That's totally bad.
Don't use that part.
Well, the show couples,
like Blake and Serena
Peter and Ashley,
I mean, they are goals.
And it just makes me so excited
to think that I could have that
too.
Have you seen the kind of guys
you pick?
Zaddies.
Oh. Thank you.
- Yes, I agree...
- ...and consent...
...to being filmed...
...24 hours a day,
seven days a week...
...potentially through the use
of hidden cameras
and microphones.
And I recognize I will
have little to no privacy.
I am aware that...
...the production
can divulge information
about myself that could be...
- ...upsetting...
- ...unfair...
- ...unflattering...
...unwanted and unexpected.
Additionally, I understand
that my edit on the show
could result...
...in an inaccurate
and dishonest portrayal.
Woof.
What?
-Is that it?
-Let's do this.
Whoo!
Wait. Wait. Wait.
He showed up in your dream.
That's pretty romantic, Jenna.
Yeah.
I dreamt that I was
underwater.
I was swimming breaststroke.
I was state champion
in high school.
And I start swimming
past the other girls.
This is the one thing I know
I can do better than them.
And I see him
on the other side of the pool,
and he's waiting for me.
And suddenly,
all my elimination-ceremony
dresses fall into the pool.
The gold one from night one
and the red one
with the super-low cut that I'm
still embarrassed about.
The diamond earrings
my mom told me to wear.
Those hurt.
In the pool,
you don't wear jewelry.
You get rid of anything
that slows you down.
So are you saying
that you're scared
things aren't progressing
with him?
Exactly.
Because when I finally lift
my head above water,
it's not him at all.
It's Claire --
holding their baby.
It's like, how did nine months
go by so fast?
And suddenly I'm alone again...
with a bunch of dresses I hate
and earrings that hurt.
No baby.
No ring.
And no husband.
That was fucking
fucked up, Sarah.
Shana, you survived
a double date elimination.
I feel like you should be
more excited.
Scott, I'm taking Shana's
suitcase down to her room.
I should be excited
that he thinks I show my pussy
to OnlyFans?
Sarah, why the fuck would I be
excited about that?
-Literally shut up.
-Hey! That's a Georgia O'Keeffe!
It's like millions of dollars.
Yeah.
Well, it looks like a pussy.
And apparently those aren't
appreciated around here anymore.
Well, first of all,
sex work is work.
Oh, my God.
That is not why I'm mad.
I am from Vegas,
I love strippers.
It's just...It's just not what
I do, and you know that.
Okay. So he misunderstood you.
You got him to understand,
and now you get to stay
another week.
Lauren really wanted to stay.
You need to be grateful
that he chose you.
Now everyone's gonna think
I'm a fucking ho.
I mean, I am a ho,
but I do that for free.
Now I'm a business owner,
so --
-Of a lingerie brand.
-Oh, what?
You've never bought
a bra before?
Shut up, Sarah.
You just have to be careful with
how you present yourself, Shana.
He's looking for a wife.
Oh. How could I forget?
Wives don't have boobs.
Silly me.
Why aren't you backing me up
on this?
I'm helping you see things
from his perspective.
Okay.
Congratulations!
-You made it!
-Is that a problem?
No.
I just...
-Brynn and I got along.
-Cry me a river, Jenna.
Are you here to make friends
or get a husband?
Give me those chips.
Come on.
Thank you.
You smell like a YMCA.
Is there a pool at this house?
It's a villa.
I know we just moved
to this location,
but please remember when you're
on camera to say "the villa."
-"The villa."
-Cool?
It's down the steps
from the main patio.
Okay. Well, this villa is
certainly more exciting
than the desert picnic
from hell I was just on.
-What happened?
-He brought up his kids.
And you know what Shana does
for a living.
-That makes sense.
-It makes sense?
Bitch, what the fuck?
Come on.
Ladies!
You're a great girls!
He thinks you're great girls.
There's no need to fight
about it.
Shana, I'm gonna get with
everyone and see what they need.
You might have to get back
in your gown
and have a little chat with Xav.
-No. Come on.
-Don't take your makeup off yet.
I have to pee.
I am on my last fucking nerve
with Miss Girl Boss.
But you and Sarah
have always been so close.
What happened?
Normally, yeah.
But tonight -- I don't know.
I mean, she's my producer, and
she's supposed to be on my side.
She's, like,
weirdly defending him.
Well, what exactly did he say?
He's like, "Oh, blah, blah blah.
You used to do porn.
And I'm worried about how
that's gonna look for my kids."
Fucking piece of shit.
You think we're getting pizza
later?
I'm sure he didn't mean it.
Whatever.
This counter is like a Sephora.
Okay. Beauty is
a full-time job, Jenna.
Okay.
You know what?
Just because he's
some best-selling author
doesn't mean he's any better
than me.
And also, who the fuck told him
I did porn, Jenna?
Probably Adrienne, TBH.
Yeah.
That little bitch loves chaos.
Well, maybe he got confused.
Okay.
Burlesque is not porn.
Well, it's similar.
But nobody is having sex
on camera.
I don't know.
It's like the second
that I start to have
real feelings for him
is when he decides to act
like Ben Shapiro.
Oh, God.
I wish I could tweet about this.
I miss my phone.
You're being paranoid.
He's always liked you --
way more than he likes me.
Oh, my God.
You're such a Pisces. Blugh!
Hey.
I love this bed.
It makes me feel like
an American Girl doll.
I bet Greg encouraged him
to bring up the not-porn thing
so there was a more
dramatic ending to the date.
Yeah, but why do we even bother
at this point?
We all know
he's gonna pick Claire.
'Cause she's wifey.
She needs a manly man.
She's probably never had
an orgasm before
and is never gonna ask him
for one!
Oh, my God.
Stop.
Why do we care this much?
Ooh. Did you figure out
how to turn it on yet?
No.
Seven TVs in this house
and no remotes.
I literally looked everywhere.
I really want to know
who won "Drag Race."
You watch "Drag Race"?
Yeah.
I'm an ally.
Let's figure out pizza!
Where's Greg?
I bet he'd get us some.
Yeah, only because he's in love
with you.
That's not true.
I told you. He's gay.
Oh, so he's just staring
at your ass all the time
'cause he's disgusted by it
or what?
Shana, you decent in there?
Speak of the fucking devil.
Come in!
Hey.
I'm gonna need you
for one last confessional.
-Sarah said you're heated, so...
-Yeah.
God forbid I be comfortable
in my sexuality.
I apologize for the patriarchy.
Listen.
There's a bit of a situation
upstairs,
and we need all hands on deck,
so I'm gonna get you set up
for your interview,
and Xav will be up
-as soon as he can.
-A situation?
What about Friday pizza time?
Technically, it's Saturday.
And the others had sushi
while you and Lauren were out.
You didn't say anything
about sushi.
I mean,
I'm still down for pizza.
Just come up to the kitchen
with me
and we'll figure
something else out.
I don't think you can get pizza
in Sedona after midnight.
-Yeah. I hate it here.
-Don't fight. You'll lose.
And put your dress back on.
You can't do an ITM in your PJs.
It's a matching set, Greg.
So it is.
So, what's the situation?
Claire and Adrienne got
into some sort of argument.
We're getting some sound bites
before wrapping.
-Oh, shit. Can we see?
-It doesn't matter.
We're running behind schedule,
and we have to get
your confessional
while we still have hard night.
Can't you just do the interview?
You know the drill, Shana.
Xav does all
of the home-based ones.
-No exceptions.
-Okay.
Well, Xav is a piece of shit,
and you know it.
He's literally the only one
of you I don't like.
You like me?
Yeah, babe.
You're just easy to make fun of.
Xav feels like going
to the principal's office.
Also, it's 2:00 a.m.
And?
You guys haven't let me sleep
more than like three hours
a night this week.
I'm going totally psycho.
"He which hath no stomach
to this fight, let him depart.
His passport shall be made."
Yeah.
See, this is what I mean.
If you're gonna be quoting
Shakespeare,
you're an easy target.
-It's from "Henry V."
-Yeah. Seems fake.
-Okay.
Greg is basically saying if you
can't handle Xav, just leave.
Okay. Henry whoever
can suck a dick.
What does Xav want me to say
that I haven't already said?
Because I cried
at the dinner portion tonight.
Real tears this time.
Remember, Xav is interested
in peak emotions.
-God.
-Clearly yours tonight is anger.
So you'll have to bitch
about Lauren.
Would you do it for Apple Jacks?
No. I want pizza!
Also, I don't have
anything bitchy to say.
-For once.
-Lauren was just boring.
If you shit-talk her, I will
find a way to get you pizza.
-Deal.
-Great!
The sooner you do this, the
sooner we all get to go to bed.
I might not even have time
to go back to the hotel.
I might just sleep
on one of the pool chairs here.
Can you give us a hint
about the group date tomorrow?
It's a sexy Van Gogh Halloween.
There's a bunch
of paint supplies
and, uh, skimpy overalls
painting outfits.
Once again,
sorry about the patriarchy.
Shana is a go.
Sarah and Xav
to the front of the villa ASAP.
I'm glad at least
you get my quotes.
God.
I thought you were gonna watch
the interview.
Nah. She's Sarah's problem,
not mine.
I just feel like you're hovering
all the time.
I'm hovering
because it's my job.
Well, you're the lead's
producer, not mine, so...
Like, why are you even in
our house?
Villa.
Okay.
Well, go to his villa, then.
Why are you mad?
You okay?
Huh?
I, uh, watched the footage
of your confessional last week.
What about it?
Do you want me to talk to Xav?
Ask him to go easier on you.
No.
It's fine.
Coming in last
just messed with my head.
Don't worry about it.
Last week was a fluke.
You'll make it to the final four
next week for sure.
I'm gonna stop hovering now
and go look for pizza.
And I'm getting you water.
Your body's like 70% Chardonnay.
-Hey.
-Hydrate or die-drate.
All right.
We're ready for Shana.
Oh.
Do I have to take it off?
Jesus Christ.
It's cold out here.
You just need to give me
a few minutes, okay, babe?
If you put your coat on,
you're not gonna look as cute.
Good point.
Some lipstick.
Look.
I'm sorry if I was rude earlier.
I just want you to know
how high the stakes are,
because I'm totally rooting
for you, okay?
Like, this could be
your love story!
You just have to treat it
like one, you know?
No. I get it.
-Yeah. Thank you!
-Okay.
Ooh.
- Hey, Shana.
- Hi, Xav.
Listen.
I know it's late.
But I'm so glad to be
sitting here talking to you.
You got to be thrilled
that you survived
the elimination tonight.
Were you at all surprised
that he wanted you to stay
another week?
No. I knew Lauren
probably wouldn't last.
Honestly, I'm shocked
she stuck around this long.
Pretty vanilla, if you ask me.
I guess.
I mean,
she's definitely boring.
Have you ever noticed
that she smiles with no teeth?
It's like, are they yellow?
Did you never get braces?
Like, what else is she hiding
if her gums are under wraps?
- You know what I mean?
- Yeah.
-You're not wrong.
-Yeah.
You did seem pretty angry
throughout most of the date.
Tell me about that.
Uh, well, he was being
super accusatory to me
about my lingerie business.
It was...unexpected,
and honestly, I was offended.
I guess I don't get
why you still want to be here
if he upset you so much.
Well, things started out great.
Couples have highs and lows.
And that's, like,
totally normal, right?
Is it because you're worried
this might be your only chance
at love?
I haven't said anything
about love to him yet.
I remember you once told me
that you had only been in love
with one person,
who didn't love you back.
What does that have to do
with anything?
Well, don't you
want to be loved?
I mean,
we all want that for you.
This could be it.
O-Of course I want to be loved,
but I want him to love me for me
and not judge the things in my
life that are important to me.
And I-I agree --
It was wrong of him to judge.
Can you blame him for assuming?
It must happen to you a lot.
No.
No.
I just wish he didn't.
Do you think
you will ever be loved?
I don't know.
Okay?
I don't know!
You know what?
Maybe...
Maybe I don't want to be loved
by someone
who thinks that burlesque
is equivalent to porn.
And you know what?
Like, say the porn thing
was true!
Who fucking cares?
Like, wouldn't it be
to his benefit
to date someone
with a superior vagina?
It's just, you know...
...one minute I'm, like,
the hottest thing ever,
and then the next,
I'm a bad role model.
Just --
For fuck's sake, you know?
If this was my love story,
wouldn't I be happy?
Fuck this.
Man, it is just too easy
sometimes.
Hey. How'd it go?
Got exactly what we wanted.
Shame she'll probably
be sent home next week.
I'm kind of impressed
with her staying power.
Slutty ones don't usually
stick around this long.
Yeah.
-You heading back?
-I'm done.
The hotel or...
Sorry if you wanted a ride.
The shuttle's coming back
in like five.
Copy. I might actually just
stay here tonight, honestly.
I got a few more things
to take care of.
Scott's on house-manager duty.
I think you're good.
Tell him I'll trade.
The girls want pizza.
Really?
He'll be psyched.
You can give them the leftover
P.A. pizza from earlier.
Reheat it or whatever.
Ugh!
It's too bad we're wrapped
for the night.
It would be dynamite to get
a shot of Savannah bingeing.
Damn.
She's doing that again?
Xav's using it. Don't worry.
See you tomorrow, Greggy.
Jenna!
-What?
-Towel!
Mm...
Come on. Come on.
Come on. Oh!
I saw Shana.
Yeah. She's doing her
postdate confessional.
Shook.
R.I.P. Lauren.
Where have you been?
Having an existential crisis
in the hot tub.
Do you think he wants more kids?
Like, more than the twins.
I haven't talked to him
about that yet.
You have?
I used to think
I'd never be married
and I'd have, like,
a life-partner man and no kids.
The cool 21st-century woman.
A common-law marriage.
You're a law student.
How does that work?
Marine biology.
I mean, I like kids,
but can you imagine hooking
one up to your boob twice a day?
And I was looking at my bloated
stomach in my bathing suit,
and I...I kept imagining
a human growing inside of me
and if my kids with him
would get along with his kids
from his ex-wife
and would it be weird
because they don't have
the same mommies?
And then, like, me --
Would I get along with his ex?
He has primary custody,
so if I end up his wife,
those are my kids, like,
no matter how you slice it.
Am I ready for motherhood?
I've never been pregnant.
Does that mean I don't have
maternal instincts?
If I'm pregnant,
will I get fat again?
- Uh...
- Hear ye, hear ye.
Please rise.
-Wow!
-How'd you get it so fast?
Magic.
Does anyone remember
where the plates are?
By the way, I traded with Scott,
so I'm on house duty tonight.
Just swing by the basement
if you need anything.
Oh!
Hot Scott.
-Mm.
-Where's Shana?
Sarah said she finished.
Haven't seen her.
Oh, wait.
Is this vegan?
I'm vegan, so...I probably
just can't have any of this.
How do you even survive?
I eat food --
like normal people.
Right.
So normal.
Rude.
Studies have shown
that a plant-based diet
is the equivalent of walking
4,000 more steps per day.
Where did you hear that?
Instagram.
I still don't believe he's gay.
He looks like
an ultimate-Frisbee bro.
They're are masculine
gay guys, Savannah.
- Come on.
- Okay.
I still think he likes you.
You shouldn't believe
everything you read online.
I'm back, bitches!
Oh, my God!
Cheese.
Aah!
Mm!
-How was it?
-Stupid.
Oh.
Did you cry?
What? No.
It was just windy out there.
He and Shana had
their first fight.
Also probably our last fight.
Mmm!
Oh, my God.
I think I just came.
-Ew.
-Are you serious?
Let's be honest.
I haven't had many intense
sensory experiences
since leaving home.
Oh?
Story time.
Story time.
Did you hook up with someone
before you left?
Well...okay.
It was just my...
personal trainer.
Oh, my God. That's so hot.
Mm-hmm.
I mean, I still think about it
here when I'm...bored.
-You know what I mean?
-Oh, my gosh. Wait.
Same.
- What?
- Okay!
Well, he's not
a personal trainer.
-Oh.
-He's a guy I volunteer with
-at the animal shelter.
-Okay.
And he's not really ripped.
Like, at all.
But basically...same.
Yeah. I'm loving this.
Jenna, what about you?
Oh. No.
No one.
But you're so cute
and, like, sporty.
I haven't had a boyfriend
boyfriend since undergrad.
Is that the one
Xav made you talk about
on your solo date?
-Yep.
-Mm.
The one from the play?
Your first kiss?
Well, I only tried out
because he did.
Mm-hmm,
and you probably got the role
because you really were
low key in love with him.
Okay.
Well...
The chemistry!
-No. N--
-Stage kiss!
-No! Okay.
-Aah!
Hey. Everybody.
Shut up.
Can I help you?
Did you all turn in your mics?
So we're not gonna say,
"Congrats on not getting
eliminated, Shana"?
Has everyone turned in
their mics?
-Yeah.
-Yes.
Okay. Good. Everybody meet me
in my room in five minutes.
But stagger yourselves, okay?
Don't all come in at once
like a bunch of idiots.
You have to tell us what's
going on. You can't just --
Jenna.
Save it.
Okay. You come with me.
Everybody else, five minutes.
And be careful.
Adrienne, what happened?
We heard from Greg that
you and Claire were fighting.
Literally, Jenna, shut up.
Don't act weird or be loud,
okay?
I'm bringing the pizza.
Which crew guy's
on house duty tonight?
Greg.
He took over for Scott.
I don't trust that douchenozzle.
Wait. Why don't you trust Greg?
I just don't.
Make yourself useful.
Look for cameras.
Look for cameras?
Adrienne, what is this?
Don't touch it!
Nail clippers.
Now.
You're gonna get us
in so much trouble.
You are if you don't keep
your dumb mouth shut, bitch.
Okay.
This better be fuckin' good.
Because, honestly,
I was balls deep in some pizza,
and, Adrienne, I've had
a pretty traumatizing day.
So does this
just have to do with
what you and Claire
were fighting about?
We weren't fighting.
Greg was wrong.
Mm.
Did Jenna go to bed?
I...don't know.
Hm.
Oh. Okay.
I-I'll just, uh...
-I can go get her for you.
-No.
-It's chill.
-Okay.
I...I got her a Fiji.
Fancy water.
Has that been here
the whole time?
I've been drinking sink water
like a kitchen wench
in the 1600s.
Well...okay.
Bye.
Okay.
Gregthaniel thinks
we're off to bed.
And allegedly this..
is for you.
Ooh-la-la.
-Lock the door.
-We're not allowed.
Just fucking do it, okay?
Yo. What's that?
Don't all look at me
like I'm Santa.
This isn't a present.
It's fucking coal.
Whoa.
It's his.
Wait. I thought he got
his stuff confiscated, too.
-He's supposed to.
-This old-school folder
it was in says "drafts"
on the outside.
I'm guessing it wasn't searched.
He must have claimed this was
how he stores his notes
for his novels or whatever.
How did you guys get it?
Don't you want to know
what's on it?
-You figured out the password?
-It was his birthday, Jenna.
The man's not exactly Einstein.
And it doesn't contain the notes
to the next great
American novel.
No, he's been using
this thing exclusively
to message his manager, Jeff.
Sexy business Jeff?
The one from the basketball date
in L.A.
-The very same.
-So any insight
as to what he's thinking for,
like, top three or proposal?
Am I going home?
Adrienne...
The Thanksgiving roast
of Adrienne.
A dialogue between her boyfriend
and his manager bestie, Jeff.
"Yeah.
So today, the solo date
was with Adrienne."
"She the nerd?"
"Right.
Won't shut up about the fact
that she went to MIT."
"Doesn't count.
She got expelled."
"Definitely doesn't count.
LOL.
Nothing kills a boner more
than having to hear
leading-edge solutions
for systems analytics."
"LMAO. You cut her?"
"Nah.
She talked about her sister
committing suicide in college.
Couldn't eliminate her
after that.
Producer said
it'd be heartless."
"Oof.
Makes sense.
Plus, she's still hot.
Bet she gives good blow jobs.
Could be worth it."
And then Jeff sends
the purple devil-horn emoji.
Anyone want to browse?
Fuck my life.
Did he say stuff
about all of us?
Basically, he hates being here
and doesn't actually like
any of us.
The producers literally told him
to make out with Lauren
on last week's group date.
It wasn't real.
The kicker is that Jeff
convinced him to do the show
to get publicity
for his next novel,
which of course, already has
a movie deal attached.
From the same major studio
that produces this show.
This doesn't make sense.
Adrienne, you got
the first solo date.
That's supposed to mean
something.
Savannah, good morning.
He's been doing
what the producers
have been telling him to
this whole time.
He has made zero choices.
-Uh-oh.
-Give me that.
Hello, Jeff.
Shana, no.
-Too late.
-You dumbass.
Do you think he really texts
like that?
Isn't it more obvious
that something's up
if we don't write back anything
at all?
-Oh, God!
-Mm.
This idiot can't even spell
my fucking name.
Guys, chill.
I've got this.
Shana, I swear to God.
Are you kidding?
Wow.
Okay.
Fuck you too, sir.
-Ohh!
-Oh, my God!
No. Stop!
Come on.
It's kind of funny.
- No.
- Gross.
-Oh. That is so crass.
-Why, though?
I swear to God.
I can't with you.
What the fuck?
Hold on.
Hold on.
Sarah?
Wait, wait, wait.
Oh, what the fuck?
Sarah?
Our Sarah?
-Shana isn't my producer.
-That can't be true.
I feel like I'm gonna pass out.
I'm not kidding.
You have to say something
to him.
What the fuck am I supposed
to say?
Well, clearly Jeff is confused.
There's Shana and Savannah.
There was a Samantha
at one point.
- A lot of names start with S!
- Okay.
"No, I mean that chick Sarah
from production
that you're boning."
What is possibly confusing
about that?
I'm drinking this Fiji, Jenna.
I am for real gonna faint!
But -- Give me the tablet.
No more tablet privileges.
Actually, did anyone bring
the wine down here?
Who made you Henry
fucking Clinton, Adrienne?
-Leave me alone!
-Everybody shut up!
Give it to me!
We can't start fighting
each other.
We aren't safe here.
Every single one
of the producers,
even the ones we thought
were our friends,
are prioritizing him, not us.
-And Sarah just...
-Hey, Claire.
How could she do this to me?
You don't have to tell them.
No. I think I do.
So, he invited me to his room
last night.
Did you guys do it?
No.
We kissed.
It would have been
unconscionable to do anything
more than that
before the final four.
-Well, given the opportunity --
-Seriously?
Well, no, obviously not now.
But before knowing what we know.
I didn't even want to go
in there!
I didn't want to do
anything intimate
in front of the cameras.
But you know who pressured me
to go in there?
Not him.
Sarah.
She looked me dead in the eyes
and said, "Claire, it's you."
He's gonna fight for you.
I know it's gonna be you
in the end.
Wait.
So that's when you found this?
Yeah.
We were drinking some wine,
and he dropped his glass.
When he went to pick it up,
he cut himself,
and he started bleeding
all over the place.
At first it was kind of funny,
but then he just kept bleeding.
So they stopped filming us
for a while
because everybody
started panicking
about whether or not they'd
have to take him to the E.R.
to get stitches.
So while they figured out
what to do,
they put me in his waiting room.
This was right there
on the coffee table.
I was bored and curious
about his writing, so I looked.
- Does he know it's gone?
- I don't know.
I just sort of balled it up
in my jacket and went for it.
It's not like he could tell
anyone.
And then Adrienne saw.
We knew we had to tell you all.
That's why he thought
we were "fighting."
They filmed you
talking about this?
Oh.
God, no.
Fuck you, Claire!
How dare you?!
I'll pray for you, you B-word!
Drama equals they wrap
and get the fuck out.
Oh.
They should hire you, Adrienne.
You're literally a psychopath.
Yeah. Well, at least
I'm not enabling a cheater.
-Mm.
-Well, I mean,
we were all making out with him.
Isn't that cheating?
Oh, Jenna.
Be fucking for real.
Honey, next week,
four of us could have been
getting intimate with him
during the penthouse dates
in Paris.
And all along,
there was a secret player
who had already beaten us
to the finish line.
That sounds like breaking
the rules to me.
I mean, yes.
I'm upset too.
But I just think
there's got to be
a reasonable explanation
for this.
Why don't I read something
he said about you?
No.
We need to talk to him about it.
I'm with Jenna. I want to hear
what he has to say.
Oh. Well, overruled.
Adrienne, just because you're
like majority whip of this house
does not mean
you get monopoly
over how we decide
to handle this!
No. I told him things
I've never told --
Can I just have like 10 minutes
to be confused?
We have primary sources.
He thinks we're stupid!
And he's proving we're stupid
by cheating on us.
-What more is there to know?
-Adrienne, pipe down.
Savannah, Jenna,
I get how you feel.
None of us had any idea.
-Maybe we should have.
-What?
How many times have we come back
from spending time with him
feeling, like, a little...off?
You know?
Like today,
when he challenged me
on the objectively false
porn claim.
-Don't ask.
-Yeah.
Or like when he questioned
my "ability to be vulnerable."
-Like...
-But he loved that I'm smart.
Well, he fucking hated
that I'm smart, so...
Wait.
Adrienne, your sister died
while you were in college?
Oh.
Uh...yeah.
I'm really sorry.
It's fine.
That was only like two years ago
for you.
Did you...
Did you willingly share that
with him?
What do you mean?
Like, did it come up naturally?
Did you want him to know
about that experience?
I wasn't ready to share it yet.
-But you felt like you had to.
-Yeah.
I-I was convinced I was going
home if I didn't "open up."
Like, he made that very clear.
Wow. That was intense, Adrienne.
How do you feel
about what happened tonight?
I'm fine.
You're not embarrassed?
-I mean, I think I would be.
-I don't know.
Nothing I told him about MIwas interesting to him.
Then he finds out
I got expelled,
and suddenly
it's this whole thing.
Well, Adrienne,
you plagiarized something.
The cheating is a pretty big
red flag.
Don't you think?
He acted like I killed a guy.
Well, you really can't blame him
for not wanting to be
with a cheater.
It's not the same thing.
It was...
Well, I didn't get sent home,
so...
Mm. You're the youngest.
I think he likes that --
you know, your, uh, your energy.
Things took a turn
when you brought up
your sister's suicide.
-I don't want to --
-Tell me about that.
No, I don't want to talk
about that right now.
Okay. Well, he clearly
wanted to talk about it.
Yeah, I know.
Which is why I did.
But it was totally
inappropriate.
Do you feel ashamed
for talking about
your sister's suicide with him?
Yes.
Of course I'm ashamed of myself.
The only reason I did it is
because he said it was important
that I open up.
He said he was upset
that I didn't tell him
about getting expelled
and worried that I wouldn't be
honest with him moving forward.
I was scared of what he would
think of me if I said nothing.
He asked why I got expelled.
And so I told him about Annie...
and how her death
made me give up on school.
I should've just...
made something up.
It is important to open up
and be vulnerable.
I don't think the other girls
are afraid of that.
And it was a big deal
to get the first solo date.
Yeah, but why does opening up
mean sharing a terrible memory?
None of the other girls
have done that yet.
I didn't know what to expect.
I wish I could just...
take it back.
He really does like you,
you know?
I heard him tell Greg
that he thinks
that you are the most
interesting girl in the group
and he's seriously blown away
by how smart you are.
Jesus.
When I hear that, it's like..
I don't know.
How could I ever have
any doubts?
I'm completely obsessed with him
after like a week...
...and now I'm sitting here
feeling sorry for myself.
I just.
I don't know how I could be
feeling all these things
at the same time.
Oh, fuck.
Hey. Who's in there?
Oh, shit.
No one else is in their rooms.
Is this locked?
-You do this.
-What?
Just, you know,
make up some bullshit.
He'll believe you
over any of us.
Who are you talking to in there?
Okay.
E-Everyone look busy and girly.
Come on.
Just open the door.
-I told you he's gay.
-Yeah. Sure.
Hi!
What are you all doing in there?
W-We're just having
a little slumber party.
Shana wasn't feeling well,
so we wanted to make her
feel better.
I thought she wanted to go
to sleep.
She changed her mind.
All of you are hanging out
in there?
Even Adrienne?
- Mm-hmm.
- Weird.
Okay.
Can I come in?
Uh, yeah.
For like a sec.
-I'm opening the door!
-Go, go, go.
Hey, loser.
I was just wondering why
you guys aren't in your rooms.
Do you need something?
No. I...
Forget about it.
Shana, I hope you feel better,
but we have an early start
tomorrow.
We know.
What are you doing to your face?
It's a gua sha.
Beauty is a full-time job, Greg.
Okay.
Well, don't lock the door.
Bye, babe.
-Bye, Gregseth.
Okay.
Okay.
I really think he would have
helped if we gave him a chance.
What -- Greg is his producer.
You think he's on our side?
If Sarah's been fucking around
and she's actually
supposed to be helping us,
what do you think Greg is doing?
Wait.
-No. You don't think...
-What, Savannah?
That Greg is sleeping
with our boyfriend, too.
Savannah, no!
God damn it!
You can't actually know
what he's thinking.
But, Jenna, I do.
-You haven't read the texts.
-Adrienne, maybe we should --
The only reason you're still
here
is because Greg is telling him
to keep you.
Greg told him, and he told Jeff,
and I read all about it.
I don't believe you.
Fuck Greg.
Wait!
- What did he say?
- Ugh!
Greg can walk into the ocean
and die for all I care!
Greg can suck a whole bag
of dicks with ketchup
'cause he hates ketchup!
Ugh!
I need to, like,
body-check someone.
-Oh, my God.
-This is bad.
Here.
I'm Greg.
Harder.
Oh!
Okay.
He's totally in love with you.
He's gonna pick you!
Okay.
Whoa. Chill.
Aah!
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
Are you okay?
Uh, no.
Are you kidding?
That was incredible.
Uh, not to state the obvious,
but, Jenna, the one
you're mad at here is Greg?
- What?
- Yeah.
How do you know
he hates ketchup?
- Yeah.
- All right.
I...
We went to college together.
Oh, my God.
No.
No, no, no, no!
He's your ex.
He's your first-kiss
school-play ex!
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God!
-You said Greg was gay!
-What?
-Isn't he?
-No, Claire, he's not gay!
-He's in love with Jenna!
-I called it!
- I just...
- Wait.
Has anything been going on
with him here?
No.
I hadn't seen or spoken to him
in three years until I got here.
Why'd you guys break up?
Just normal life stuff.
Like, spent a year
living together in Seattle
before he decided he wanted to
move to New York for acting,
and I wanted to go to Stanford,
so it was just a mess.
But he -- he doesn't live
in New York.
-He lives in L.A.
-Yeah.
Which is crazy to me,
because he specifically
didn't want to move
to California with me
because it wasn't a place
for serious theater actors.
Wait.
That's what he wanted to do?
-What the hell happened?
-I don't know.
But he's here in Arizona
coaching a man
on how to fake-date me,
so I can't imagine it went well.
Leapin' lizards.
Seriously, you guys,
you can't tell.
If Xav found out.
Greg wouldn't be allowed
to work on this season.
And he just got promoted
to lead producer, so...
Okay. Great.
So we're gonna use him, right?
Use him for what?
To reveal the truth
about our boyfriend.
Oh, okay.
So...plan.
-Adrienne.
-Oh.
Oh.
Well, it's either us
or the brand, right?
Their problematic lead
is more important to them
than the five chicks they found
on Instagram to date him.
I think we should all just quit
at once.
But won't the network
just cover it up?
Yeah. I think we can get sued
if we breach our contract.
No, no.
Claire's dad's a fancy lawyer.
-I think we'd be fine.
-That's an oversimplification.
Well, he did represent
that one congressman who --
Personally, I'd also like to set
fire to all the film equipment,
but I don't think
we could get away with arson.
-Bitch, what?
-No. Please. No arson.
My God.
It was a joke.
I'm not gonna start a fire
in a desert.
Guys, those contracts
were so long.
No. But I feel people break
those contracts all the time.
Like, who here has money
they would sue for anyway?
-Claire's rich.
-Why are we talking about crime?
Breaking a contract
is not a real crime, Jenna.
-Arson is.
-Yeah. No shit.
-That was a joke!
-Girls!
Listen to me.
Last night, I told him
I was falling in love with him.
Not because some producer
convinced me to,
but because I really felt it.
That's insane!
I left my home, my family,
my job, my whole life.
All I do here is cook
and eat and drink
and wait to find out
when I'll get to see him again
and if we'll get to be alone
or if I'll be competing with all
of you for a sliver of time.
Every moment I am awake,
they are trying to turn me
against you all
and make me fight for him.
So I am done!
I am done sacrificing myself,
my sanity,
and my life for this man.
And I need you all in on this
with me.
Oh, God.
Are you okay?
-No.
-Oh, fuck!
Fuck.
Did anyone else have
the tuna sushi and pizza
or was that just me?
Bathroom.
We're gonna take five.
Wait.
Savannah, get Greg.
-Fuck, no.
-No. He bought your lies before.
He will buy them again.
So, Savannah,
just get Jenna to the bathroom
and, um, find Greg and tell him
that Jenna's not feeling well
and she wants to see him.
And then,
when he comes looking for you,
you should try to get
the storage keys.
What?
Why?
Because that is where
our phones are
and our passports.
I don't want to see Greg,
and I don't think I even agree
with you guys
on what to do about this.
Jenna, they've been
manipulating you for two months.
Maybe you can't get on board
with exposing the douchecanoe
who ruined your chance at love,
but I bet you can get behind
fucking with Greg.
Right?
Fine.
Good.
Um, I still have no plan
beyond the phones,
so this could be useless,
but just try to get the keys.
-I feel like they're usually --
-On his belt loop.
-It's weird that you know that.
-Don't look at me like that.
-Can I go puke now, please?
-Oh, right. Sorry.
Thank you.
Are you gonna be okay?
Yeah.
Promise.
Okay.
Uh, just sit tight, Savannah.
It's gonna be a few minutes.
The camera battery died.
Um, can I get a soda
or, like, a Mountain Dew?
I'm dying.
Uh, how about a seltzer?
Yeah. Cool.
Fine.
No worries.
I'll pull it together.
Yum.
Yum. Could a P.A. grab
my stress ball, actually?
I mean, no worries if not.
I'm super sorry,
but I'm, like, super tired.
Can we start now?
Well, they still have to
switch the camera battery out.
But I guess you and I
could just shoot the shit.
Safe space.
No mics.
- Okay.
- Okay.
So...how does it feel?
You finally got your solo date.
One of the last ones.
I know.
That was great.
Oh. Come on.
Sorry. Sorry.
I should be more grateful.
Uh, he rocks and is...
...very, very cute.
Do you --
Do you know you're doing that?
Doing what?
The little noises.
Uh, I-I didn't...I didn't know.
Um...
I just feel like you sound like
a child when you talk like that.
Oh.
You know he wants
a mature woman.
So...doesn't that concern you?
I mean...
I don't want him to think
I'm, like, a baby or anything.
That would be weird.
So are you worried
maybe he's not as attracted
to you as the others?
Well, no.
I've made it this far.
There are only six of us left.
Yeah.
Variety is the spice of life,
right?
Right. Exactly.
He thinks I'm funny.
Yes, yes.
But, you know, physically.
I mean...you've seen
what everyone else wears.
They look like women.
I-I thought I looked
really pretty in what I wore.
Ruffles? Come on.
What are you trying to be,
a Black Zooey Deschanel?
I'm kidding, obviously.
I just don't like showing off
too much.
Well, the others show off.
Well, I...
It's their right to show off,
I guess.
I don't...
Do you think
he's more physically attracted
to the rest of the house?
Why?
Did he say something to you?
No, not really.
There's just a lot of
beautiful women here, you know?
You don't want to be a girl.
Yeah.
There are.
There are what?
There are a lot
of beautiful women here.
Savannah, I just want
the best outcome for you, okay?
So, you know,
maybe no more Mountain Dews.
Let's stick to the seltzer.
I am aware that the production
can divulge information
about myself
that could be upsetting...
- ...unfair...
- ...unflattering...
...unwanted and unexpected.
Additionally, I understand
that my edit on the show
could result in an inaccurate
and dishonest portrayal.
Sucks to be called last
during eliminations.
I don't know what to do
at this point.
This is embarrassing.
But he still kept you.
It's something
I was last.
I'm tired of not being enough
for people.
It's too hard.
Well, Jenna, nobody said
this was supposed to be easy.
Are you saying
maybe you want to quit?
I'm just drowning at this point.
Will that ever change?
I just wonder, like, why is love
so unattainable for me?
That's the problem.
You don't let anyone see
how you really feel.
And if you don't start
opening up to him,
you might keep feeling this way.
Do you want to feel this way
forever?
Jenna?
Savannah said you're sick.
Are you okay?
Seriously.
Do I need to call a medic?
No cameras.
The crew's at the hotel.
I got nothing.
Uh, S-Savannah said
you wanted to see me.
Yeah. I was hoping
you could get me some Gatorade.
I just really don't want
anyone else knowing I'm sick.
Of course.
You're lucky it's not Tom
on house duty.
He'd be scrambling
for that 911 cash call.
Yeah.
I also don't trust the hospital
situation in rural Arizona.
Totally.
But maybe when you feel better,
you can talk to Xav about it.
I can't even think about Xav
right now.
You're right.
He did upset me
in the confessional last week.
He thinks I'm desperate.
They're giving me that edit,
aren't they?
-No one thinks that.
-I don't know who to believe.
Okay.
Well, believe me, then.
Okay.
Then produce me.
You do the interview.
What?
You wouldn't be like Xav,
right?
Come on, Jenna. What does it
even matter what I think?
-Are you on my side or not?
-Of course I'm on your side.
-Then fucking do it.
-Okay.
Jenna, how do you feel
about the fact
that you haven't gotten
a solo date in three weeks?
It blows.
Rephrase the question
in the form of a statement.
You know better.
It blows that I haven't gotten
a solo date
with him in three weeks.
Do you think it's 'cause
he's over you?
No, I don't think
it's because he's over me.
But if he really liked you,
he'd make time for you, right?
Maybe.
You know...
he told Claire he was
falling for her two nights ago.
No. I-I knew she...
But I didn't know he --
Come on.
You've got to step it up.
You bore the shit out of me
when you talk to him.
I'd rather staple my hands
together
than watch you two on-screen
together.
Greg, what the fuck?
You're like social tofu
when you're with him,
Y-You're always making yourself
more bland and regular
in order to be palatable,
never too loud or bitchy
or sexy or bossy.
-Is that fun for you?
-So what are you suggesting?
I'm just saying
you could go home tomorrow.
Is that what you want?
So what do you want?
I just wish I was enough
for him.
I don't think
you'll ever be enough for him.
Stop it, Greg.
I love him.
Wow. I, uh...
Oh, God.
Okay, then.
Consider yourself produced.
Why did you say those things
about me?
It's not real.
It's a tactic.
I got you to admit
you loved him.
Is anything real here?
Fuck you.
I don't actually think
those things.
It's just fucking hard
to watch you build him up
and talk about how great he is.
I mean, you're here
because you make him feel good.
But does he make you feel good,
like -- like I did?
Greg.
Did you not think I saw
the footage of your solo date?
You talked about that guy
who you said you thought
was the love of your life.
Oh.
Were -- Were you...
Yeah...I was.
I was talking about you.
-Mm. Oh, my God.
-Jenna.
Mm.
Sorry.
It's okay.
God.
That was just...
kind of weird to hear...
...'cause...
...I miss you.
We broke up because we were
gonna be on opposite coasts.
If you missed me, I was
right there, six hours away.
Did you want to see me?
I don't know.
Well...maybe.
You're still a piece of shit
for producing me.
You asked.
I didn't know you'd be so good
at your job.
"This is the most unkindest cut
of all."
"Julius Caesar."
How can I make it up to you?
Gatorade, remember?
And...a hug might be nice.
I miss this.
Yeah.
Uh, yes.
Um, me too, kid.
Okay, then.
Nice.
Gatorade.
Yeah.
Perfect. Yeah.
Okay.
So that you don't die-drate.
I'm very excited
to stop die-drating.
Yeah.
Do you still think
you have a chance
-at an engagement with him?
-I hope there's a chance.
I mean, you're ready
for marriage, right?
Oh, I've been ready.
All my friends are married...
or engaged.
My sister got married
when she was 25.
Yeah, I get that.
You feel like everyone
in your life is waiting on you
to seal the deal.
I feel like everyone is waiting
for me to say my lines,
but I don't know what they are.
I am inherently unequal to all
of them because I am single.
You know,
I spent thousands of dollars
and months of my life
celebrating these marriages --
bridal showers and weddings
and bachelorette parties.
None of that effort will
be reciprocated if I am alone.
They will never spend that time
or money celebrating me.
So then what do you think
is the problem?
Do you think you're unlovable?
I mean...no.
Maybe I just haven't found
the right guy.
But, like, this could be it.
I just keep thinking...
"Wouldn't it be nice
to finally win something?"
Do you think
you'll ever get there?
Have you ever gotten close
to the kind of love
that would lead
to an engagement?
We must get married at once.
There's no time to be lost.
Married, Mr. Worthing?
Well, surely.
You know that I love you.
And you led me to believe,
Miss Fairfax,
that you were not entirely
indifferent to me.
Oh, I adore you.
But...you haven't proposed
to me yet.
Nothing has been said at all
about marriage.
The subject has not even
been touched on.
Well, may I propose to you now?
I think it would be
an admirable opportunity.
And to spare you any possible
disappointment, Mr. Worthing,
I think it only fair to tell you
quite frankly beforehand
that I am fully determined
to accept you.
Gwendolen --
Yes, Mr. Worthing?
What have you got to say to me?
You know what I have got to say
to you.
Yes, but you don't say it.
Gwendolen, will you marry me?
Oh, of course I will, darling.
How long have you been about it?
I am afraid you have had
very little experience
in how to propose.
My own one,
I have never loved anyone
in the world but you.
Yeah.
I came close a long time ago.
I don't understand
why you haven't told him
about your past yet.
If you've been in love before,
you should know
what it feels like.
Jenna, I think you have
two choices here.
You tell him you love him
and even if he doesn't
love you back,
at least America loves you.
The other choice --
You stay in that scary,
unlovable zone.
Is that what you want?
- Ready?
- Yeah, I think so.
I know. That went so well.
No. I don't want to
get ahead of myself.
Claire, come on.
It's you.
He's gonna fight for you.
I know it's gonna be you
at the end.
Trust me.
Ready to go?
You look great.
Aw.
Thanks.
How are you feeling about him?
Honestly, amazing.
This is crazy!
I can't believe this is my life.
Tell me about how today went.
Today was real.
I forgot about everyone else
for a few hours.
It was like we were the only
two people that existed.
But now you have to
go back to the house.
What are you gonna tell
the others?
You already got your solo date.
He asked specifically
to get another one with you.
Well, I don't want anyone else
to feel bad.
Their feelings
aren't your problem, Claire.
Don't you want to share
how great you're feeling?
Well, I don't know.
Maybe.
He told me that he had dreamed
about his future wife
and in his dreams,
she looked exactly like me.
That's -- I mean,
that is God's work for sure.
You're falling for him.
I am so falling for him!
I want this feeling forever.
What exactly is that feeling?
Safety. Joy.
Warmth.
Hope.
And you don't have any doubts?
You have seen the way
he kisses Shana.
Shana is not wife material.
Not to be crass.
But why would I have any doubts?
He lays it all out there on the
table for me every time we talk.
I know where I stand.
I am confident
that he is my person.
I really am.
And what a gift it is to meet
a man so honest and so kind.
I just got word that he's asking
for you to come to his room.
His room? Now?
Alone?
Well, no. With us, of course.
But yes, now.
Greg said that he's asking
for more time with you.
Oh, Claire. Can't pass that up.
I mean, no one ever gets
extra time after a date.
He must be really serious
about you.
Oh, my God.
I-I don't know.
You know Shana would do it.
And I don't want you
regretting anything tomorrow.
And you don't want him thinking
you're not excited
about the extra time together.
No.
Y-You're right.
Sure.
Let's go.
Attagirl.
I'll bring you both some wine.
Claire.
Hi.
You look worried.
Do you want to play
with my stress ball?
Okay. Sure.
Why not?
Is it helping?
I've squeezed it once.
Oh. Yeah.
Might take a couple of minutes.
I'm really sorry
you had to be alone.
-What?
-When you found the text --
like, before you told anyone.
That must have been really hard.
Yeah.
Thanks.
During this whole experience,
I kept waiting
for the other shoe to drop
'cause it just felt too good
to be true.
It just never occurred to me
that other people
don't take relationships
as seriously as I do.
I certainly thought
he was serious.
He's a dad.
Dads don't like to fuck?
And Sarah.
It's like....
I really thought
she was my friend.
This might sound crazy -- or
maybe you felt the same way --
but every time I talked to her,
it felt like therapy.
I know.
It's fucked up.
We're gonna need real therapists
to get over our fake ones.
I'm gonna miss you.
I know they say all that stuff
about not coming here
to make friends, but, you know,
I'd rather leave here with
four people who have my back
than one loser guy who doesn't.
Yeah.
I'd do it all again if it meant
I'd still get all of you.
Mm.
Mm!
I think it's working now.
Ah.
So, what's the first thing
you're gonna do when we get out?
What is this, prison?
I mean, kind of.
Mm. Probably go to my favorite
restaurant in Charleston.
They do this mushroom
truffle pasta.
that is unbelievably good.
-Mm.
-You?
I've been thinking
of getting into wax alchemy.
Candlemaking.
Can I ask?
What did he say about you?
"Cool.
She likes to cook.
Women these days just aren't
made like that anymore."
Ew.
"At first I was worried
that she thinks
she's a writer too.
Joke's on her.
She wants 5 million babies.
She'll be so busy
popping them out,
she won't have time
for hobbies."
Did you memorize that
word for --
What a predictable cumdumpster
of misogyny.
You have another stress ball?
Obviously.
One for each hand.
Jenna, you still in there?
I have the Gatorade.
Yeah. One second.
All we had was lemon-lime.
I hate to say this, but...
you look terrible.
Are -- Are you sure
I can't get you anything else?
Should we go to the hospital?
Maybe some Pepto Bismol?
You mean now?
At this hour?
I...
We're in the desert, Jenna.
Where could I get that?
-I don't know. I --
-I'm sorry.
Uh...
...I'm in charge.
It's my problem.
I'll figure something out.
There's got to be
a 24-hour Wal-Mart in Cottonwood
or Flagstaff or something.
But that might take me an hour.
Can you wait that long?
You think so?
I can text you to let you know
how I'm doing, but...
Right.
Just use the house phone
if there's an emergency.
The shuttle's gone
for the night,
but I'll take
one of the resort vans.
I, uh, I hope you feel better.
"They did make love
to this employment.
They are not near
my conscience."
That one's "Hamlet," bitch.
Hey. Everybody.
Get up here.
Jenna.
Where's Greg?
He's gone.
Read the texts.
I thought
you didn't want to know.
I changed my mind.
Okay.
"Jenna's fine.
It was a water-skiing date."
"Got to see her all wet, huh?"
Mm. Purple devil emoji.
Creative.
"I don't know. She's a swimmer.
She's kind of bulky.
I don't know what made her think
the bikini was gonna be
flattering.
LOL."
"Oh, never mind. Ha ha."
"I mean, she has a great face,
and she can be cute
and quiet and not offend anybody
if she's a zero
on the crazy scale."
"Think she'll last?"
"I don't know.
I mean, I'm not a racist,
but can you imagine
me meeting her family?"
Okay.
I'm in.
Fucking finally, Jenna.
You guys, I...
I really thought
I was in love with him.
Hey, I know we all signed up
for a TV show about finding love
and -- and getting married,
but it's pretty insane
how we treat marriage
like it's this huge
accomplishment.
I mean, reality is, it's pretty
fucking easy to get engaged.
Speech!
Speech!
Speech!
Maintaining a healthy,
mutually supportive,
and beneficial relationship
for like 20 years --
That is an accomplishment.
But if the biggest thing
we all have to be proud of
is, like, convincing somebody
to be our fucking husband?
Like, dude, that's so bleak!
We all have much bigger and
better things to be proud of,
and fucking leaving this show
will be one of them.
Hell, yeah.
A toast.
To the journey of our lives.
Not Henry Waynesworth
Douchepillow.
Yeah!
-Whoo!
-Whoo!
Wait. Wait.
So what is the plan exactly?
You know what else
is in the production office?
Art shit.
Let's do art shit.
Hey!
Yeah!
Just throw that in there!
Come fuck shit up!
Ra-a-a-ah!
How would you feel
if you got sent home tonight?
On night one?
I'd be so embarrassed.
Well, you look amazing.
There's no way he'll forget you.
Thanks.
I hope you're right.
I hope he never forgets me.
That looks fucking sick, Jenna.
You ready?
What the fuck are you doing?!
-Aah!
-Guys, I'll handle this.
Is anyone moving yet?
I need Xav now.
No. No.
- Oh!
- Are you insane?!
Oh. Oh.
You are a bad man.
Okay. Not part of the plan,
girlfriend.
Guys, stop it.
Greg, inside now!
Ooh!
Talk to me, Jenna.
This is crazy.
Where did you get this?
He had an iPad.
Claire found it.
Wait.
Jenna --
No.
I'm done.
I have listened to you
for two months
and believed you every time.
That's how this show works.
-We do that to everyone.
-That doesn't make it right.
This isn't a documentary, Jenna.
It's entertainment.
It's supposed to be fun.
Fun for who?
I have a job to do.
You signed up for this.
Fuck your job, Greg.
Well, you lied to me tonight,
too.
Under very different
circumstances.
I didn't know
about these messages.
But you knew
what he was really like.
I bet you knew about Sarah, too.
God. This is what I have been
trying to tell you.
You are so much better than him.
Yet you are the one
who kept me here
and made me suffer
through this shit.
You're just a different version
of the same problem.
Do you have any idea
what it is like
to watch the girl
you are still in love with
fall in love with someone else
in front of the entire country?
I mean, yeah.
Keeping you here longer
was my idea.
And the execs encouraged it.
But I was hoping
that more time around me
might make you...feel the same.
You don't love me.
You love me here,
and here isn't real.
Fuck, Jenna.
I...
I'm sorry.
I need you to read
one more thing.
"Though those that are betrayed
do feel the treason sharply,
yet the traitor stands
in worst case of woe."
"Cymbeline."
Hey.
Where's Greg?
Crying in the bathroom.
Oh, fuck!
No shit.
Girls fuckin' rule.
Let's go.
And I just keep thinking...
"Wouldn't it be nice
to finally win something?"