History Is Made at Night (1999) Movie Script
- Sodankyln?
- Good for you.
Thanks for stopping.
English.
Is my Finnish that bad?
I would have known you were
American, without you say a word.
My car?
Your aftershave.
What brings you this close
to the Arctic Circle?
I'm supposed to be camping
with my boyfriend, but...
we had a fight
and I got out of the car.
Sorry. I'll try to be
a nicer guy than he is.
There's a herd up ahead.
I gotta spend the night there.
I've got a two-person tent.
You can sleep with me...
camp with me.
fine.
What would your boyfriend say?
He and I keep things
from each other.
You could sleep in the car.
It will be more comfortable
in the tent.
They're always up there...
watching over us.
You wishing on the stars?
- Satellites.
- Eyes in the sky.
On radar, the sky
is full of them.
They see the truth,
they replace trust.
That's one thing
that can't. Be replaced
Trust me.
Is this where the hitchhiker is
supposed to express her gratitude?
Come on.
No more pretending.
Cut. That's a wrap.
When you say "wrap",
you mean you're done?
Yeah. Jeanine finally put on
the proper "fuck me" look.
I've done lots of custom
films, but this...
you're, pushing it
Mr. Romanov.
It's the way you
deliver the message...
that makes it art,
gives it style.
I'll just run our house copy,
give you the master.
I prefer original art.
No copies, okay?
Where is the set designer?
- That would be me, sir.
- Thank you very much.
Cats have nine lives, but
unfortunately you have only one.
Have I got the item
for you, Bliniak.
Mr. Hassan, why did you sell
the item...
on before I delivered it?
Ours is a business,
where nothing is a given.
You had no problem accepting
my down payment, Bliniak.
Touch.
Good point, Mr. Hassan.
I'll have it for you
any day now.
I feel like a used
car salesman.
When I joined the KGB,
we had principles, pride.
Colonel Bliniak, sir, forgive me
for pointing this out...
but the directorate
of public relations...
has forbidden the use
of the old acronym.
We are the SVR
not the KGB.
You would like me to throw away
five years' worth of stationery?
I'm already peddling fine arts,
weapons of mass destruction...
anything I can get my hands on,
to feed your skinny ass!
Talk of the devil...
Our freelancer is
delivering.
Sending it how?
Shit, Romanov, art dealing
amateur, I'll have you shot.
Yuri, special handling required
for top priority item in transit.
Arrival imminent.
Initiate contact with...
representative of
Celestech Corporation,
staying at the Cosmos.
Confirm receipt of
item immediately.
Just until the Van Gogh sells.
Okay, Yeltsin?
I bet nobody even reads
your reindeer reports.
You do, Natasha.
You're not supposed to.
Why couldn't you be
the hitchhiker for once?
You started it this time.
To give you a chance
to apologize.
What were you doing,
agreeing to sleep with me the...
second that you jumped in the car?
What was up with that?
That was supposed to be
our first meeting.
I did sleep with you
the first time we met.
You could have told me
before that you didn't...
- like my aftershave.
- You are so vulnerable.
Maybe you really are
just a reindeer ranger.
Nah, just a guy pointing
a fancy Geiger counter...
at a herd of Santa's helpers.
I thought Santa's helpers
were elves, not reindeer.
Yeah, well, the reindeer
pull the sleigh...
that's full of toys
that the elves made.
That seems pretty
damn helpful to me.
I'm not sleeping in a
tent tonight.
There's a lot worse
places than this.
I spent my time
in too many of them.
Before we go, you should
say goodbye to the reindeer.
Thanks to those leaks in the
nuke submarines in Murmansk,
some of them won't
be around next time.
Maybe I won't be
around next time.
I need more from you than
your reindeer reports.
Are you talking personally,
or professionally?
Both.
Harry...
your aftershave is sexy.
Harry, go back to America,
and take me with you.
My favorite doll
was Miss America...
with her crown... and torch...
No, no... I think that's
the Statue of Liberty.
I grew up in New Jersey,
so I should know...
We had the best view of her,
we were looking at her back.
A friend of mine used to say...
"Nice ass for a white girl. "
Me, Max fisher, in a linen
suit and handcuffs.
fuck the five figure income.
fuck six figures, too!
I measured my income
in commas!
Had a goddamn
two comma income.
That gives you pause,
doesn't it?
Turn around.
I'm sorry I'm late,
Mr. fisher.
Mr. fisher, I don't really think...
that you can collect unemployment
for time spent in prison.
When you transcribe this...
be sure you get down
every word.
Mr. fisher, I...
When the FBI made me wear this,
they got it all down.
- I'm glad you're finally...
- Information is power, Lauren.
I simply can't transcribe
this stuff for you anymore.
I need a paid position.
Things may be a little tight
for me now, Lauren...
but I haven't forgotten you.
Oh, thanks, Mr. fisher.
That's very kind.
Poor bastard.
Any news from Headquarters?
My feet are killing me.
I'm just not cut out
for field work.
If the bad boy isn't out in five,
we'll go grab him, okay?
Opportunity walking
in your door.
Hey, Max, you look very
well rested, buddy.
I only relax when forced to,
Romanov. They forced me.
Not many of these in circulation.
World War II. The Nazis
took then from the French...
then the Soviets
took them from the Nazis.
Me, I've taken them
off museum walls in Russia.
Looting and plundering.
I've got an opportunity for you.
Artists have grand thoughts,
but you and I both know...
that it's what's in the head
of the buyer that makes it art.
Buyers have got to believe.
Before my run-in with the SEC...
I had everyone believing in bonds.
I could do the same thing for you.
I could work for you.
I could sell art market faith.
Give me a cash advance
against future commissions.
I'll start today,
and I'll make you rich.
I could use a break.
I'm having a hard time
re-entering society.
What do you expect?
You were the first one
to name names...
to sell out your
Wall Street buddies.
Somebody having a sale
on cell phones?
Looks like they're talking
to each other.
Maybe there is something
you can do for me.
But you'll have
to start in the mailroom.
I need a guy to deliver
this to Helsinki.
Helsinki?
I'd go myself,
but something's come up.
There's a reservation for
a Celestech rep...
at Cosmos Hotel.
That's you. When my associates...
contact you,
just hand this over. Right?
- What's "Celestech"?
- What's the difference?
You know what this is?
It's an adult-cash
relationship.
Let's have a schnapps
when you're back.
I'll give you the rest
of the money then.
On second thought,
we should trade tapes.
- What?
- Come on, Max.
I heard about the habit
you picked up from the feds.
Give me the tape.
I'm on my way.
I just hit the second,
you there?
CIA! freeze!
Shit!
We don't go shouting
"CIA, CIA". We don't advertise.
Now, sweep.
I didn't see him come out.
Did you see him?
Okay, you check the street,
I'll get the roof.
- He's not down here.
- I know, he's up here.
- What? Are you okay?
- I'm a surveillance guy.
Get a camera between
me and this blood.
...Celestech, Helsinki, Finland.
- Turn it off!
Reservation at the Cosmos Hotel,
as a Celestech rep.
Is that so, Preston?
Doing what, if I may ask?
Hello, I'm hot.
Do you want to hear what
I want to do to your honey box?
I love it when you let it out.
Give it to me, baby.
I want your juices
running all over my...
throbbing member.
Hey, "member",
you're in.
You see, that's what
I want to go find out.
Now enhancing a blood-soaked
audio tape is a technical challenge.
Hey, if you'd spend
more time on the guy...
and less time on your gadgets,
nothing would be blood-soaked.
- Harry, hi, how are you?
- faring better than the reindeer.
It's Harry Howe,
'70' mercenary type.
700 hours, Finnair flight 4...
Oh, and Harry, he's in charge.
Whatever, as long as he doesn't cut
into my time running my jazz club.
Still seeing that Russian girl?
Well, just don't go talking'
in your sleep over this one, okay?
Right.
- You guys still here?
- On it, sir.
"During her training in
St Petersburg...
Natasha Scriabina is believed
to have been the mistress...
of Ivan Bliniak,
the local chief of the SVR."
Shit!
Bliniak.
Shit!
- Tell me a secret.
- You first.
Here...
That's one of ours, you and me
not one of theirs.
I have to call Yuri.
Total for your Euro-Adapters, $576.
Why can't the world be
more like America?
What do you think you're doing?
Turn it off!
I wanna feel good.
- Hey, Ed.
- Out, buddy!
- Take it easy, guys.
I'm a big supporter
of tax free...
Watch it.
Haven't paid taxes in years.
You sure it wasn't Bliniak
who called you from Helsinki?
He's too high up,
I don't deal with him directly.
I had some dealings
with that guy in Afghanistan.
And you used to, very directly.
Let's see, how did that go?
"As a trainee, believed
to have been the mistress...
of Ivan Bliniak,
local SVR chief.
I'd rather hear it from you than
read it in some company memo.
I'm sure the talk of assassinations
and incendiary devices...
- made it all seem very exciting.
. - Speak for yourself.
It's a lot of just waiting around,
lying to people's faces...
and on a rare occasion
] doing some nasty shit
for reasons never explained.
We have a life together,
outside of that.
Yuri, you will be satisfied.
Very hip chip.
- Sturdy.
- for you, Natasha.
I've heard nothing but
good things about you, Harry.
Then you've heard nothing
lately.
You're not traveling light,
are you?
Surveillance has come
a long way...
since binoculars, Harry.
I need my gear.
Your friend you asked about
is next door.
You're in the
protection business?
- What?
- Condos?
He means real estate.
Condoms, right.
We're with the convention.
I need you to run the
record store for a few days.
I'll be busy
with this new enterprise.
- "Entrepreneur. "
- I'm all for change...
until it falls from favor.
One has to be flexible.
"Entrepreneur. "
I measured my income
in commas!
I had a goddamn
two comma income.
That gives you a pause,
doesn't it?
Voil.
You must be handy
around the house.
It creates speculation,
and when the stock shoots up,
we're already in.
We'll do small buying...
Why don't we
grab this guy?
...lots of accounts,
no one will ever know.
- But that's a pump and dump.
- We'd never call it that.
Do you hear that?
He's got company.
No, Mr. fisher...
- we wouldn't, Mr. fisher.
- All of them are pricks.
You say it's kosher?
I say we go ahead.
You're lucky that Harry
is your assignment.
Check the messages.
Yuri, special handling
required.
Yuri, always Yuri.
"Stoni pudla Natashinka,
Ivan Bliniak?"
Representative of
Celestech Corporation...
staying at the Cosmos.
Confirm receipt
of item immediately.
Look...
I bought them as oysters,
and I sell them as pearls...
- in St. Petersburg.
- Take your time opening the oysters.
- Nothing important here.
- That puts you in charge, Natasha.
- Any messages for Celestech?
- That's it. He's the target.
I got that out of the
bellboy for a buck.
How much that excess
baggage cost you?
I am Celestech in Finland.
You do that and I'll make sure...
you'll get the first case
of our product after it arrives.
Coming.
- We understand you rep Celestech?
- You guys are fast!
- That's us. Can we come in?
- You're Americans!
- Right. Everything go all right?
- No problem so far.
- So...
- So what can I do for you?
Give us the sales pitch.
Come on, sell us on your product.
- Well, we have what you need.
- Sounds like what we want.
- At competitive prices.
- Who's the competition?
We're gonna dance here around
here all day?
He doesn't know what he's got.
Let's show him the gun, Dave!
- What do you say?
- Hey, what is this?
It's a gun.
I'm in town, trying to buy into
the reindeer condom market.
You got that out of
an inflight magazine.
- Did we mention Romanov?
- Romanov who?
Romanov, the dead guy.
He messed up my shoe
with his brain, see?
Conspiracy, betrayal,
everything but the grassy knoll.
- What do you know about it?
- I don't.
It's under the chair!
That was easy enough. Well done,
Dave. Good judgment on your part.
Can I take you both
to the airport?
You think I flew halfway around
the globe to make one lousy bust?
You come here.
I was just doing Romanov a favor.
Do you think Max "The Market"
fisher would get involved...
in anything
life-threatening?
I'm sorry, the Celestech's
gentleman's line is still busy.
- Would you like to leave a message?
- No, no message.
- folkways.
- Natasha.
Harry. I was about to call you.
I can't make our lunch.
- What's up?
- Nothing important.
I'd still like to
see you tonight.
It will have to be late.
I have to go now. See you.
- It's shoestring budget porn.
- found your calling, Dave?
Better you get this.
If they ask about the tape,
agree to meet.
It'll go easier on you
if you cooperate.
Those exact words. Dj vu.
Welcome to Helsinki, Celestech.
Go to the hotel restaurant
at 1400 hours.
Wear a rose.
Okay, let's go. Harry here will
pick you up for your date...
- he'll bring your corsage.
- Excuse me?
Mr. fisher, you're
under house arrest...
suspected of conspiracy
against the US of A.
I know, next thing,
you read me my rights...
I have the right
to remain silent...
Shut up! This isn't America,
we aren't cops...
We don't deal with that shit.
Show him your license
to kill, Dave.
I'll stay put.
I'm here for you, guys.
I'll start working on the
videotape. You cover Max's meeting.
Why have the meeting?
You already got the goods.
We'll play ball with,
whoever this is meant for...
until I figure out
what's on it.
This is Finland,
it's going to the Russians.
It will be Yuri, nice guy,
easy to follow. Go home.
You're interfering
in my backyard.
You interfered in a few
hot spots yourself, Harry.
Helped topple a government or two.
- Love. Trust.
- Shove. Thrust.
Maija.
No modulation on the time base...
Nothing.
We're up against
a sly enemy.
Black and white scenery,
colorless sex...
You watch it over and over,
and then...
it's really pornographic.
Again and again.
It starts to feel like having
to watch JFK's head...
banging back and forth
in Dallas.
That was a Secret Service slip up.
We had nothing to do with that.
Look, the way she
grips him with three fingers...
And then switches to four.
That could be a code.
Yeah, a slow ball coming. He's
the pitcher, she's the catcher.
Why don't you turn this over?
Let Langley handle it.
- 'Cause I'm no errand boy.
- Will you forget the glory?
In this line of work,
you wear your medals...
under your jacket,
or you're gonna be pricked very bad.
Maybe it's the same thing
as The Beatles' "Abbey Road".
Play it backwards
and it'll say...
"Paul is dead,
Paul is dead... "
I don't know about Paul...
He's dead... she's dead.
Everybody who had anything
to do with it is dead.
Except for this Max guy and me.
I'll be watching you.
Yuri's usually okay, but,
if there's a problem,
I'll send over a waiter
with the wrong drink.
You excuse yourself
to the restroom.
Why don't you write it in paper,
for me to memorize and swallow?
Let's hope Yuri finds it all
fun and games when he finds out...
that you don't have
the tape yet.
"You have a beautiful neck".
Here.
Let me get that for you.
- I am Tanya.
- My name is Max.
- Welcome to Helsinki.
- Your phone voice had me...
worried, but I have a feeling this
blind date is gonna work out fine.
- Your drink, sir.
- Impossible. I haven't ordered yet.
- Then perhaps the lady's.
- I'm sorry.
You could bring me some cigars.
You got any Cubans?
Of course, sir.
Monterrey or Romeo y Julieta?
You got R&J's,
I'll take a box then.
Would you excuse me
for a moment?
What exactly is
going on out there?
Give me time to find out,
I'm new at this.
So is she. They've never given her
anything of this scope before.
- You know Tanya?
- "Tanya"?
Sneaking secrets out of my laundry bag
has been her biggest job so far.
Am I out there trying to get
the goods on your girlfriend?
Did I say
she was my girlfriend?
She could get
into trouble for this.
The Cubans?
Cubans...
- Where are you going?
- I thought you weren't coming back.
Is that why you took
my cigars?
Do you know how hard it is
to get Cuban cigars in the States?
Yes, no... I thought...
I thought they were for me.
- Shall we sit back down?
- Let's sit down.
Sometimes a cigar,
is only a cigar.
But you do have something for me?
An Item?
- I do.
- Yes?
- But not right now.
- No?
Now? No.
- Sir, your drink.
- When?
Is this Finnish hospitality?
Again, sir, this is not my drink.
I'll have a martini
shaken, not stirred.
for me, a vodka with salty licorice.
I'm sorry, Tanya.
Would you excuse me once more?
- Airline food.
- I understand.
How is it going?
There's a gorgeous girl
waiting for me
and I'm standing in the
goddamn john talking to you.
How the hell
do you think it's going?
She is concerned
about the delay.
- Stay put.
- She's waiting for me.
What are you doing here?
You canceled lunch on me,
and I made other plans.
I cancel... you?
What other plans?
Just idle curiosity with you,
isn't it?
No, I... you're not interested
in what I'm doing?
Your martini, sir.
Shaken, not stirred.
You must be thinking of somebody
else. Is there anybody else?
- I have to go.
- Did you get promoted?
I was spending a
quiet moment...
before more busywork for Yuri.
Are you too big to do
your surveillance work on me now?
Let's talk spy at the
top of our lungs.
Let's share it with everybody.
You haven't found
the secrets of the sublime yet?
How did it go, Max?
Ask him,
it was his girlfriend.
She ran away.
They'll reschedule.
She's handling this?
You know, they talk about her
at the agency.
And you...
Two-career couple...
how it's hurting yours.
What career?
That was another guy...
- another life.
- You know, that's the message.
They sent me another guy with
a message once in Managua.
He was a kind of a friend.
His message was: "I consider
myself lucky, regardless".
That was an order for me.
It was a code...
- to kill the messenger.
- Did you?
It's kinda like your message.
Nothing important on the surface.
You have to make decisions.
Did he have an order to kill me,
or did he expect me to attack him?
Did you kill him?
- You can answer that yourself.
- You can fuck yourself.
Keep at it, I'm gonna tunnel
my way out of here.
I got a club to run.
These things
microwave your brain.
Switch sides,
it'll cook evenly.
The guy is a dinosaur, man.
- Ground thuter.
- What is "ground thuter".
Someone who's on the ground,
confirming what our...
wonderful satellites already know.
That's your phone.
If it's Harry's girl,
set up a meeting.
Promise that thing, stall her. Keep
her warm, until I figure this out.
And I will figure this out.
Hello? Tanya, How could you
leave me like that?
Come on, dancing is one of the things
we do best.
One of at least two things.
Behave, That memo's made me
doubt your moral character.
What the hell was that all about?
Read all about it in
the next company memo.
- Natasha, where are you going?
- Home.
Do you have any Idea what
a mean punk Bliniak can be?
He was never mean to me. I was
young, and didn't know any better.
I've got a past, you too.
- Do we have a future?
- What are you asking?
You don't like the Idea
of me with somebody else.
What if the SVR
loses interest in you?
They'd reassign me,
wouldn't they?
Goodbye, Harry.
Harry, what is she talking about?
What's SVR?
It's an old band.
With a new name.
Hard to dance to.
Natasha, are you there?
Sorry about earlier.
Can we meet up tomorrow?
Today... I mean...
call me.
It's Natasha. Please,
leave a message.
Natasha, are you there?
Darling, it's Bliniak.
No answer at folkways.
No answer at the embassy.
Call me. It's important.
He's "too high up",
you don't deal with him directly.
Sorry, Yuri. Anyway,
I have to go to folkways.
What are you doing here?
I'm working.
I thought I was your work.
But you aren't my boss.
Remember Yuri, my boss?
They want intrigue. I'll start
doing some flares on the beach.
I can row around
looking for a submarine.
Will you just listen...
Look, you came back
to Helsinki early.
Are you following me or am I
supposed to start following you?
Do you want me to say it?
I can't say it.
There. I've said it.
- That's it?
- Trust me.
You and I, Harry, we've
always let sleeping dogs sleep.
"Lie".
It goes "Sleeping dogs lie".
- Be careful.
- Don't follow me.
Reindeer condoms.
I understand these are
a national treasure...
but they pose a problem.
Perhaps you were unaware.
The radioactive steam those
mothballed Russian subs let off...
has let the steam
out of the reindeer.
It's a tragedy, really.
They are such regal animals.
The lichen they eat
is radioactive,
and it bunches up in their
intestines,
which are turned...
into condoms.
It ends with radioactive
penises for us all.
Yet another case of our
protection posing its own threat...
My name is Max.
- What are you two talking about?
- Love.
I'm sorry about earlier.
We're together now...
- that's what's important.
- The item. That's what's important.
How about this item?
What are you doing, Tanya?
Great. Try it on, I'll help you.
I can feel your heart beating.
Shh! Up on the bench,
your feet show.
- Who's out there?
- Nobody.
- You want me to get rid of him?
- No, he's a friend.
- Then what is the problem?
- He might get jealous.
He might be there all afternoon.
- You have reservations?
- None, I trust you.
- I mean, what's this?
- Nothing.
"Nothing" and "nobody"?
So where were we? Trust.
You trust me
to give you the item.
And I trust you to pass it properly
after I give it to you tomorrow.
- Tomorrow?
- I'll have it then for sure.
After tomorrow, the whole thing
will be out of my hands.
- I won't be able to protect you.
- You wanna protect me?
Tomorrow.
May I help you?
Gift wrapped, sir?
Miss me?
Me and my shadow.
You keeping an eye on me now?
She's got a good heart.
Hey, Joe, you got nylons?
I was hoping to have
something for you, too.
You know what? No, thanks.
I wanted it to be a surprise.
Listen, I saw this great
jacket downstairs.
Now you're in trouble.
Product testing.
- Any luck cracking it?
- How'd it go?
I found your surge protector...
but they don't have alligator clips.
Apparently there are
no alligators in Finland.
It's too cold.
The meeting, Max.
She's expecting
something tomorrow.
You know,
she's really nice.
Are you kidding?
She looks like she's been through
the war underneath a battalion.
Not her Harry's girl.
She's just like our girl here.
She's a pro.
Harry is her job.
I don't know
how you keep at it.
The SVR expected things to heat up
when you came to Helsinki.
And when they didn't,
I got the blame.
- They think I missed something.
- Maybe they are missing something.
A man who goes through a lot
of covers, lives a lot of lives...
maybe he wants to pretend
to be something...
that he actually
wants to be, for once.
Reindeer ranger.
Just a happy guy, trying
to run a decent club...
hanging out with the most
amazing girl he's laid eyes on.
You have any Idea
what today is?
Happy anniversary, Harry.
One year.
I remember the first time
I ever saw you,
on an SVR
surveillance video.
Oh, no.
The bars. Damn!
We're gonna take care of that.
I gotta make a quick phone call.
Hey, put Dave on the phone.
No, forget it.
Max, check this out.
That's it.
What's it?
- Let's go, Dave.
- Where do you think you're going?
- Wait, wait, wait.
- We are closed.
My friend is dying.
He's diabetic... diabetski...
- It's freezing.
- His blood sugar is extremely low.
One jar of strawberry jam
could save his life.
Just one jar.
Here's the answer, Dave.
Here's another answer, Dave.
The bread answer, Dave...
- pizza...
- Max, I don't like pizza.
- Hot dogs...
- Americans.
They shop like they
are from Siberia.
...and fish.
We have room service.
What the fuck is this?
You get it, Dave?
- Shit, that's it.
- That's it.
- "Kiitos".
- Thank you.
In the store, when I told you
I wish I had something to give you,
what I meant...
Have you ever thought, Harry, that...
- I don't need any anniversary gift.
- No, it's not that.
- I was hoping...
- Hurry up, Max.
Let's catch it.
Harry... thank you.
Do you remember
our first night?
Remember that guy
who was pawing you...
when we were trying to leave?
Was he for real or was he
some kind of an SVR cupid?
Not part of the plan,
as I knew it.
I was wondered, because
I barely tapped him...
and he went down pretty easy.
Are you saying that
I went down pretty easy?
Just trying to
sort out what's real.
Arranged or not, you could
have seduced me. You know that.
I'm just wondering when did it stop
being make-believe for you?
Like that kiss just then.
Was it a lot more real...
than the first time we kissed
or just a little?
We both climbed to bed for
cynical reasons that first night.
Everybody does.
But a lot's changed since then...
I write my reports form
the crumbs you leave me.
They won't give me
the Nobel Prize for espionage.
fine, if we can be together.
- All bar codes.
- But controlling what?
When I graph it,
I get wheels, ovals,
hoops.
What goes around and round
in circles?
We do.
Let me hand over
the big secret.
I love you.
It's Natasha, isn't it?
Just in case I decide to
go out and get a tattoo.
Come here.
I want to tunnel of love you.
"Tunnel of love" me?
Satellites!
The codes.
Codes to control their orbits.
Military or commercial satellites,
like AmTelCom or AT&T?
All of them. They could have
crashed all our...
space bugs into one humongous
satellite pile-up...
or sent them skipping out into
space like shooting stars.
Cracking this in the field
gives you an opportunity, Dave.
Damn right it does.
- You're gonna help me.
- Great!
first thing we do is pick
a big communications corp, TV,
long distance phone carrier,
something like that.
To make a porno tape?
What are you talking about?
Porno tape?
I'm talking about bumping...
a zillion dollar telecommunications
satellite off course...
causing an interruption
in service.
Their stocks take a dip,
we buy in,
we do a mid-course correction
on the satellite...
Bingo! The stock goes back up...
Obscenely rich.
That's what I'm talking about.
What has that
got to do with porn?
I make another
porno tape,
screw up all the barcodes,
pass it along to the Russians,
and I get to be division head.
Stick with me,
we can buy Russia.
Can you bump
a satellite or not?
Dial transatlantic.
Tap into the satellite
controlling the call.
All you need is
a touch tone phone.
Please, I move the money,
you move the satellite.
A team, a fucking team, Dave.
And nobody gets hurt.
No national security threat.
Everything is back to normal
in a day.
I have all the equipment...
Headquarters doesn't even
need to know.
- Right.
- All I need are actors.
That's a fucking
harebrained scheme.
A guy like you, Max...
facing a life sentence...
for treason, should volunteer
his help,
not pass
such fast judgment.
Okay, but maybe we can do
my plan after...
we trick the Russians, huh?
I need a local casting director.
Get Harry.
Wait, wait, wait.
Just what you ordered.
Come in.
Come on in, it's okay.
In my dream, I'm driving around
some street in America...
not lost,
and you're there with me.
I'm getting something
very important today.
I'll trade it for a green card...
and a pardon for my SVR sins.
Will you come with me? Will you
come with me to America, Harry?
I'm trying to reach
Harry Howe.
Could you please tell Harry
that Dave needs him to come...
he knows where. Thanks.
- Harry, where are you going?
- It's nothing exciting.
- Go back to sleep.
- He have to talk, now.
It can't wait.
It's important.
To us.
- Are you gonna propose to me?
- I propose you take me...
seriously. Just this once.
Tonight, then.
- Hello?
- Max, it's Tanya.
- I know.
- When can I have the item?
How about dinner this evening?
It's too late.
- This afternoon?
- Good.
Section D5, today's match
at the hockey arena.
It's okay, everybody.
- Honest mistake.
- Are you insane?
I cracked the original.
Our satellite control codes...
were bar-coded into the
set backdrop.
I'm faking up a version
to pass along to the Russians.
- Your Russian
- Has she called yet?
No. I think you scared
her away yesterday.
I don't think so.
- This an agency idea?
- from headquarters.
She is set up
to get something.
And you're in charge
of the taping.
You, on the bottom. You,
on the top. Like this.
- We need more.
- How many?
- Twice that.
- And that would be enough?
I'm going to need you
when we start shooting again.
I never fail to be around
when the shooting starts.
What have you got
for a weekend package?
It's for two.
Something romantic, something...
without reindeer.
Hello, Mr. Hassan...
But I'm in Helsinki,
collecting the item myself.
Yes, Mr. Hassan.
Our friend in the Gulf...
must be getting impatient,
but no need to get nasty.
follow that car.
Robert Mitchum,
"Out of the Past", 1947.
I got worried when we...
didn't get you on the phone.
- I was just going to call you...
- About what?
This pet project? You are late,
more than with my item, Tovarich.
Moscow is full of these.
Obsolete.
What item?
Yuri, who is
minding the store?
Natasha, who else?
Bend his ear.
Little Natasha is taking on
new responsibilities.
Dave, you have to
hold up the delivery.
Nothing to hold.
She hasn't even called yet.
Something is going on.
There's a major instability here.
- How do you know?
- I said I'd be around...
when the shooting started.
It did.
- Is everything okay?
- fine.
Just running out of time.
fuck!
Here. Stop the bleeding.
- It will be fine. I was careful.
- What?
Stay.
Shut up and drive.
Robert Ryan,
"On Dangerous Grounds", 51.
Drive, or I'll kill you
with my bare hands.
That's now, me,
real life.
Natasha, it's Harry.
You there?
- folkways.
- You got any fats Waller?
I'll look.
Did I say Waller? I meant
Mahler. Gustav Mahler.
- Mahler?
- Yeah.
No, we don't.
Natasha, stop!
It's not pretty on the TV.
It's not yours. He put it in
from the other tape.
- Whose not pretty behind is it?
- That's not important.
This ass is like the Tomb
of the Unknown Soldier.
It belongs to everyone
and no one in particular.
Done.
Roll credits.
Now let's talk about my plan.
We'll leave this mess
to the maid.
Night...
day... nap!
Great, you!
Let's get the hell
out of here.
- That's in every American movie.
- Yeah, you got that right.
- Cosmos Hotel.
- Sure thing, pal.
- Hello.
- I'm so happy I got you, Yuri.
Louder, Natasha.
I can barely hear you.
I am talking loud!
I think I saw Bliniak
in a caf this morning.
Impossible. I'd know if
he was in town.
Where are you?
You never cared
where I was, Yuri.
...good sounds at the Moving Planet.
This Monday we have...
the powerhouse sound, of the
legendary Moondog, his Sax Pax...
At last.
Wait, I got us great seats.
Don't do that, Max.
You could have died.
You okay, Tanya?
I thought we had something.
You had something, now I have it.
Goodbye, Max.
Something's wrong.
I'd better call Harry.
- Where is everybody?
- Black man mentioned the club.
I've been to that place,
terrible music.
The Moving Planet.
Mr. Celestech, I'm interested
in you product.
No problem. Great.
- Let's setup a meeting.
- Can you call me back in an hour?
Idiot.
Shit!
- Are you alone?
- Yeah. What's going on?
No more reindeer watching,
Harry.
You get Yuri's job?
You get reassigned?
- Got yourself a new dream date?
- fuck you.
I thought there was
more to it than that.
I want to go to America.
You get transferred to D. C?
That's definitely coming up
in the ranks.
I'm going to be on
your side, Harry.
U.S., Us!
- I have our ticket.
- That's fake.
That's worthless.
It's dangerous if you feed that
to the Agency.
You're lying.
- You're trying to keep me here.
- You have to trust me.
I'll go around you.
- I'll take it to your embassy.
- Listen!
Natasha...
Stop it!
Natasha, what happened
to Harry?
- You shouldn't have followed me.
- I was looking for him.
- On.
- You're kidding, right?
Squat.
Good bye again, Max.
You called me "Natasha"?
I call you "traitor".
Harry, wake up!
- Where is she?
- Three guys with serious haircuts...
took her at gunpoint.
There was nothing
I could do about it.
What did you do with the tape?
People are calling...
the hotel room
like they never got it.
- I gave it to Natasha.
- Are you fucking with me?
Are you fucking with me?
I told you to hold up the delivery.
Next thing I know, Natasha's
bringing me the sham tape.
So where is she?
The Russians got her,
and the tape.
That fits fine in my plan.
That's your plan,
that's not the agency's plan.
Now here's my plan.
I'm gonna swap Natasha
for the real tape.
No, no. I can't let you
do that, Harry.
- You can't, huh?
- No, I can't.
She's gonna be fine...
You...
How did you know
it was there?
I used to be
one of these guys.
Same school, different year.
It's simpler like this.
You know what side they're on.
What do you mean?
I'm on the other side.
The other side from all this.
- Get the feet.
- Here we go, Dave.
- Thanks for the assist.
- No problem.
When your girl likes
handcuffs, you learn...
to keep the key.
You had the opportunity to
make millions with me, Dave...
with nobody getting hurt.
Just look at you now.
Os cdigos dos satlites.
You were gonna tell me
about this, right, partner?
Schmuck!
Sorry I got you involved, Yuri.
I'll bounce back.
"flexible", remember?
Yuri, hit her.
Poor Natasha! Joined KGB
to see the world.
And now the world is
opening up for everyone...
but spies.
Are you angry because I chose
America over Russia...
or Harry over you?
Is that wh...
Where's your pride
in country, Natasha?
Russia will rise again.
Maybe not in my lifetime,
certainly not in yours.
Let's show her what she's
giving her life for.
- Yes, yes, give me more.
- Let me tunnel of love you, behind.
I like this movie.
It's Harry Howe, calling
from the video store.
You got the wrong tape.
You wanted an
American movie, but...
you rushed out with
the Finnish remake.
Check out the
French maid routine.
The maid isn't French, neither
is her Cosmos Hotel apron.
You see for yourself,
I'll hang on the line.
Again.
I don't mind him
fucking you, but me, too?
I got your girl, Harry.
I've still got the tape.
How about an old fashioned swap?
1600 hours, Eastern port...
Pier 9. Ivan, the Cold War
is long over.
It'd be stupid if we ended up
as casualties after the fact.
- You think he'll buy that?
- It's 50l50.
Cold warriors like us
are pretty much in the same boat.
But it's like the Queen Mary,
it doesn't turn on a dime.
Why don't you just call home
and get some help?
That'd be great. "Say, boys,
you got a couple of extra agents?"
"I'm a little shorthanded,
trying to rescue my...
SVR girlfriend
from the SVR."
"I had a partner,
but I killed him. "
We don't have time for that.
Harry? When you go get Natasha,
I wanna go.
Sure.
All right. fucked?
I'll show you fucked.
Piper Cub, Lear Jet,
DC9, 747.
Are you sure you know
what you're doing?
It's a kind of "learn as you go"
type of deal.
The detonator screw
must maintain constant contact.
Insert gently.
- What's next?
- The glue.
Do I have time to make
a quick call?
Please dial or say the telephone
number that you're calling.
It works!
Please, hang up now.
That was my broker, Ted.
My stocks are going up.
Who knows, maybe it's a sign.
She wasn't taking off on me...
She was trying to move us
both Stateside.
I could have given her that.
Let's get the hell out of here.
The guy who came to you
with a message in Managua...
- did you kill him?
- I shot him in the head.
That makes me feel better.
I don't know why.
This might make you feel
even better.
Should anything happen to me, I,
Max fisher, social security...
Number 282-53-5133, hereby
leave my mother's...
co-op to Natasha Scriabina,
and I leave my tape recorder to...
Shit!
I leave my tape recorder.
Why a warehouse?
It's always a warehouse.
You pick someplace else,
they always start asking...
"What's wrong
with a warehouse?"
You get trapped
by tradition.
Harry, a pleasure. How
have you been since Kabul?
I've been better.
Where's Natasha?
Pretty good matchmaker,
aren't I?
You never thanked me
for giving her to you.
She's not yours to give,
nor mine to take.
for the moment, she is.
Let's see the tape.
Let's see what's on it.
Let's see her.
- I'm sorry.
- Don't worry about it.
The tape is only a set of keys.
They'll change the locks.
People like us always fight
over yesterday's news. The tape.
He'll stand by to take
delivery of Natasha...
I'll be the projectionist.
Coitus interruptus.
- We gotta get going.
- Play on.
You've seen enough.
Are we gonna make the swap?
Harry, play on.
This lady takes one more gasp
and you're fucked.
The cassette's been rigged
with a chunk of C-4.
Let her go.
I don't believe you.
She comes, you go...
Kaboom.
Our countries have cozied up.
The world isn't gonna go bang.
Let's not
go bang here, either.
Harry, we are 20th century men.
In our time, it's proved
difficult to believe in God,
but impossible not to believe
in the devil.
They don't need us.
The satellites keep everybody
in place, feeling guilty.
- Let's walk away from this.
- I need it, and me, in one piece.
I've made my promises.
Me, too.
To myself.
Natasha, let's go home.
No!
Let them go.
It's over.
I don't know about you two,
but this is where I get out.
I'm on the next plane taking off,
then, New York, New York.
I can't go, I've killed a guy.
- I know, it's in your file.
- No, this was recently.
Agency guy,
couple of hours ago.
Never got a chance
to introduce him to you.
Can't go with you.
But you go ahead,
Max will take you.
If that's what
everybody wants...
Are you reassigning me,
Harry Howe? No way.
- Good luck, Max.
- Good luck, Natasha.
Sorry, Harry.
- Take care.
- Consider yourself lucky.
Always.
Okay, Lauren, when...
if we get disconnected,
wait five minutes,
then start buying AmTelCom.
- You got it?
- Max...
Did you just get
my old job back?
Yes, Lauren. You did.
- Wait, wait, please...
- Husband... Tokyo... telephone.
Please?
So, where to?
I've worn out my welcome
in the west.
- I can't go east.
- North means reindeer.
South?
We go south, Harry.
Ernie...
My name's Ernie.
I'm Anna.
Anna Belinka.
Do you, "Anna Belinka",
wanna keep heading south...
with me, "Ernie Halliday"?
I do.
I do.
Anna, do you mind if I still
call you "Natasha"?
Buy!
Buy!
Hello? Hello?
- Good for you.
Thanks for stopping.
English.
Is my Finnish that bad?
I would have known you were
American, without you say a word.
My car?
Your aftershave.
What brings you this close
to the Arctic Circle?
I'm supposed to be camping
with my boyfriend, but...
we had a fight
and I got out of the car.
Sorry. I'll try to be
a nicer guy than he is.
There's a herd up ahead.
I gotta spend the night there.
I've got a two-person tent.
You can sleep with me...
camp with me.
fine.
What would your boyfriend say?
He and I keep things
from each other.
You could sleep in the car.
It will be more comfortable
in the tent.
They're always up there...
watching over us.
You wishing on the stars?
- Satellites.
- Eyes in the sky.
On radar, the sky
is full of them.
They see the truth,
they replace trust.
That's one thing
that can't. Be replaced
Trust me.
Is this where the hitchhiker is
supposed to express her gratitude?
Come on.
No more pretending.
Cut. That's a wrap.
When you say "wrap",
you mean you're done?
Yeah. Jeanine finally put on
the proper "fuck me" look.
I've done lots of custom
films, but this...
you're, pushing it
Mr. Romanov.
It's the way you
deliver the message...
that makes it art,
gives it style.
I'll just run our house copy,
give you the master.
I prefer original art.
No copies, okay?
Where is the set designer?
- That would be me, sir.
- Thank you very much.
Cats have nine lives, but
unfortunately you have only one.
Have I got the item
for you, Bliniak.
Mr. Hassan, why did you sell
the item...
on before I delivered it?
Ours is a business,
where nothing is a given.
You had no problem accepting
my down payment, Bliniak.
Touch.
Good point, Mr. Hassan.
I'll have it for you
any day now.
I feel like a used
car salesman.
When I joined the KGB,
we had principles, pride.
Colonel Bliniak, sir, forgive me
for pointing this out...
but the directorate
of public relations...
has forbidden the use
of the old acronym.
We are the SVR
not the KGB.
You would like me to throw away
five years' worth of stationery?
I'm already peddling fine arts,
weapons of mass destruction...
anything I can get my hands on,
to feed your skinny ass!
Talk of the devil...
Our freelancer is
delivering.
Sending it how?
Shit, Romanov, art dealing
amateur, I'll have you shot.
Yuri, special handling required
for top priority item in transit.
Arrival imminent.
Initiate contact with...
representative of
Celestech Corporation,
staying at the Cosmos.
Confirm receipt of
item immediately.
Just until the Van Gogh sells.
Okay, Yeltsin?
I bet nobody even reads
your reindeer reports.
You do, Natasha.
You're not supposed to.
Why couldn't you be
the hitchhiker for once?
You started it this time.
To give you a chance
to apologize.
What were you doing,
agreeing to sleep with me the...
second that you jumped in the car?
What was up with that?
That was supposed to be
our first meeting.
I did sleep with you
the first time we met.
You could have told me
before that you didn't...
- like my aftershave.
- You are so vulnerable.
Maybe you really are
just a reindeer ranger.
Nah, just a guy pointing
a fancy Geiger counter...
at a herd of Santa's helpers.
I thought Santa's helpers
were elves, not reindeer.
Yeah, well, the reindeer
pull the sleigh...
that's full of toys
that the elves made.
That seems pretty
damn helpful to me.
I'm not sleeping in a
tent tonight.
There's a lot worse
places than this.
I spent my time
in too many of them.
Before we go, you should
say goodbye to the reindeer.
Thanks to those leaks in the
nuke submarines in Murmansk,
some of them won't
be around next time.
Maybe I won't be
around next time.
I need more from you than
your reindeer reports.
Are you talking personally,
or professionally?
Both.
Harry...
your aftershave is sexy.
Harry, go back to America,
and take me with you.
My favorite doll
was Miss America...
with her crown... and torch...
No, no... I think that's
the Statue of Liberty.
I grew up in New Jersey,
so I should know...
We had the best view of her,
we were looking at her back.
A friend of mine used to say...
"Nice ass for a white girl. "
Me, Max fisher, in a linen
suit and handcuffs.
fuck the five figure income.
fuck six figures, too!
I measured my income
in commas!
Had a goddamn
two comma income.
That gives you pause,
doesn't it?
Turn around.
I'm sorry I'm late,
Mr. fisher.
Mr. fisher, I don't really think...
that you can collect unemployment
for time spent in prison.
When you transcribe this...
be sure you get down
every word.
Mr. fisher, I...
When the FBI made me wear this,
they got it all down.
- I'm glad you're finally...
- Information is power, Lauren.
I simply can't transcribe
this stuff for you anymore.
I need a paid position.
Things may be a little tight
for me now, Lauren...
but I haven't forgotten you.
Oh, thanks, Mr. fisher.
That's very kind.
Poor bastard.
Any news from Headquarters?
My feet are killing me.
I'm just not cut out
for field work.
If the bad boy isn't out in five,
we'll go grab him, okay?
Opportunity walking
in your door.
Hey, Max, you look very
well rested, buddy.
I only relax when forced to,
Romanov. They forced me.
Not many of these in circulation.
World War II. The Nazis
took then from the French...
then the Soviets
took them from the Nazis.
Me, I've taken them
off museum walls in Russia.
Looting and plundering.
I've got an opportunity for you.
Artists have grand thoughts,
but you and I both know...
that it's what's in the head
of the buyer that makes it art.
Buyers have got to believe.
Before my run-in with the SEC...
I had everyone believing in bonds.
I could do the same thing for you.
I could work for you.
I could sell art market faith.
Give me a cash advance
against future commissions.
I'll start today,
and I'll make you rich.
I could use a break.
I'm having a hard time
re-entering society.
What do you expect?
You were the first one
to name names...
to sell out your
Wall Street buddies.
Somebody having a sale
on cell phones?
Looks like they're talking
to each other.
Maybe there is something
you can do for me.
But you'll have
to start in the mailroom.
I need a guy to deliver
this to Helsinki.
Helsinki?
I'd go myself,
but something's come up.
There's a reservation for
a Celestech rep...
at Cosmos Hotel.
That's you. When my associates...
contact you,
just hand this over. Right?
- What's "Celestech"?
- What's the difference?
You know what this is?
It's an adult-cash
relationship.
Let's have a schnapps
when you're back.
I'll give you the rest
of the money then.
On second thought,
we should trade tapes.
- What?
- Come on, Max.
I heard about the habit
you picked up from the feds.
Give me the tape.
I'm on my way.
I just hit the second,
you there?
CIA! freeze!
Shit!
We don't go shouting
"CIA, CIA". We don't advertise.
Now, sweep.
I didn't see him come out.
Did you see him?
Okay, you check the street,
I'll get the roof.
- He's not down here.
- I know, he's up here.
- What? Are you okay?
- I'm a surveillance guy.
Get a camera between
me and this blood.
...Celestech, Helsinki, Finland.
- Turn it off!
Reservation at the Cosmos Hotel,
as a Celestech rep.
Is that so, Preston?
Doing what, if I may ask?
Hello, I'm hot.
Do you want to hear what
I want to do to your honey box?
I love it when you let it out.
Give it to me, baby.
I want your juices
running all over my...
throbbing member.
Hey, "member",
you're in.
You see, that's what
I want to go find out.
Now enhancing a blood-soaked
audio tape is a technical challenge.
Hey, if you'd spend
more time on the guy...
and less time on your gadgets,
nothing would be blood-soaked.
- Harry, hi, how are you?
- faring better than the reindeer.
It's Harry Howe,
'70' mercenary type.
700 hours, Finnair flight 4...
Oh, and Harry, he's in charge.
Whatever, as long as he doesn't cut
into my time running my jazz club.
Still seeing that Russian girl?
Well, just don't go talking'
in your sleep over this one, okay?
Right.
- You guys still here?
- On it, sir.
"During her training in
St Petersburg...
Natasha Scriabina is believed
to have been the mistress...
of Ivan Bliniak,
the local chief of the SVR."
Shit!
Bliniak.
Shit!
- Tell me a secret.
- You first.
Here...
That's one of ours, you and me
not one of theirs.
I have to call Yuri.
Total for your Euro-Adapters, $576.
Why can't the world be
more like America?
What do you think you're doing?
Turn it off!
I wanna feel good.
- Hey, Ed.
- Out, buddy!
- Take it easy, guys.
I'm a big supporter
of tax free...
Watch it.
Haven't paid taxes in years.
You sure it wasn't Bliniak
who called you from Helsinki?
He's too high up,
I don't deal with him directly.
I had some dealings
with that guy in Afghanistan.
And you used to, very directly.
Let's see, how did that go?
"As a trainee, believed
to have been the mistress...
of Ivan Bliniak,
local SVR chief.
I'd rather hear it from you than
read it in some company memo.
I'm sure the talk of assassinations
and incendiary devices...
- made it all seem very exciting.
. - Speak for yourself.
It's a lot of just waiting around,
lying to people's faces...
and on a rare occasion
] doing some nasty shit
for reasons never explained.
We have a life together,
outside of that.
Yuri, you will be satisfied.
Very hip chip.
- Sturdy.
- for you, Natasha.
I've heard nothing but
good things about you, Harry.
Then you've heard nothing
lately.
You're not traveling light,
are you?
Surveillance has come
a long way...
since binoculars, Harry.
I need my gear.
Your friend you asked about
is next door.
You're in the
protection business?
- What?
- Condos?
He means real estate.
Condoms, right.
We're with the convention.
I need you to run the
record store for a few days.
I'll be busy
with this new enterprise.
- "Entrepreneur. "
- I'm all for change...
until it falls from favor.
One has to be flexible.
"Entrepreneur. "
I measured my income
in commas!
I had a goddamn
two comma income.
That gives you a pause,
doesn't it?
Voil.
You must be handy
around the house.
It creates speculation,
and when the stock shoots up,
we're already in.
We'll do small buying...
Why don't we
grab this guy?
...lots of accounts,
no one will ever know.
- But that's a pump and dump.
- We'd never call it that.
Do you hear that?
He's got company.
No, Mr. fisher...
- we wouldn't, Mr. fisher.
- All of them are pricks.
You say it's kosher?
I say we go ahead.
You're lucky that Harry
is your assignment.
Check the messages.
Yuri, special handling
required.
Yuri, always Yuri.
"Stoni pudla Natashinka,
Ivan Bliniak?"
Representative of
Celestech Corporation...
staying at the Cosmos.
Confirm receipt
of item immediately.
Look...
I bought them as oysters,
and I sell them as pearls...
- in St. Petersburg.
- Take your time opening the oysters.
- Nothing important here.
- That puts you in charge, Natasha.
- Any messages for Celestech?
- That's it. He's the target.
I got that out of the
bellboy for a buck.
How much that excess
baggage cost you?
I am Celestech in Finland.
You do that and I'll make sure...
you'll get the first case
of our product after it arrives.
Coming.
- We understand you rep Celestech?
- You guys are fast!
- That's us. Can we come in?
- You're Americans!
- Right. Everything go all right?
- No problem so far.
- So...
- So what can I do for you?
Give us the sales pitch.
Come on, sell us on your product.
- Well, we have what you need.
- Sounds like what we want.
- At competitive prices.
- Who's the competition?
We're gonna dance here around
here all day?
He doesn't know what he's got.
Let's show him the gun, Dave!
- What do you say?
- Hey, what is this?
It's a gun.
I'm in town, trying to buy into
the reindeer condom market.
You got that out of
an inflight magazine.
- Did we mention Romanov?
- Romanov who?
Romanov, the dead guy.
He messed up my shoe
with his brain, see?
Conspiracy, betrayal,
everything but the grassy knoll.
- What do you know about it?
- I don't.
It's under the chair!
That was easy enough. Well done,
Dave. Good judgment on your part.
Can I take you both
to the airport?
You think I flew halfway around
the globe to make one lousy bust?
You come here.
I was just doing Romanov a favor.
Do you think Max "The Market"
fisher would get involved...
in anything
life-threatening?
I'm sorry, the Celestech's
gentleman's line is still busy.
- Would you like to leave a message?
- No, no message.
- folkways.
- Natasha.
Harry. I was about to call you.
I can't make our lunch.
- What's up?
- Nothing important.
I'd still like to
see you tonight.
It will have to be late.
I have to go now. See you.
- It's shoestring budget porn.
- found your calling, Dave?
Better you get this.
If they ask about the tape,
agree to meet.
It'll go easier on you
if you cooperate.
Those exact words. Dj vu.
Welcome to Helsinki, Celestech.
Go to the hotel restaurant
at 1400 hours.
Wear a rose.
Okay, let's go. Harry here will
pick you up for your date...
- he'll bring your corsage.
- Excuse me?
Mr. fisher, you're
under house arrest...
suspected of conspiracy
against the US of A.
I know, next thing,
you read me my rights...
I have the right
to remain silent...
Shut up! This isn't America,
we aren't cops...
We don't deal with that shit.
Show him your license
to kill, Dave.
I'll stay put.
I'm here for you, guys.
I'll start working on the
videotape. You cover Max's meeting.
Why have the meeting?
You already got the goods.
We'll play ball with,
whoever this is meant for...
until I figure out
what's on it.
This is Finland,
it's going to the Russians.
It will be Yuri, nice guy,
easy to follow. Go home.
You're interfering
in my backyard.
You interfered in a few
hot spots yourself, Harry.
Helped topple a government or two.
- Love. Trust.
- Shove. Thrust.
Maija.
No modulation on the time base...
Nothing.
We're up against
a sly enemy.
Black and white scenery,
colorless sex...
You watch it over and over,
and then...
it's really pornographic.
Again and again.
It starts to feel like having
to watch JFK's head...
banging back and forth
in Dallas.
That was a Secret Service slip up.
We had nothing to do with that.
Look, the way she
grips him with three fingers...
And then switches to four.
That could be a code.
Yeah, a slow ball coming. He's
the pitcher, she's the catcher.
Why don't you turn this over?
Let Langley handle it.
- 'Cause I'm no errand boy.
- Will you forget the glory?
In this line of work,
you wear your medals...
under your jacket,
or you're gonna be pricked very bad.
Maybe it's the same thing
as The Beatles' "Abbey Road".
Play it backwards
and it'll say...
"Paul is dead,
Paul is dead... "
I don't know about Paul...
He's dead... she's dead.
Everybody who had anything
to do with it is dead.
Except for this Max guy and me.
I'll be watching you.
Yuri's usually okay, but,
if there's a problem,
I'll send over a waiter
with the wrong drink.
You excuse yourself
to the restroom.
Why don't you write it in paper,
for me to memorize and swallow?
Let's hope Yuri finds it all
fun and games when he finds out...
that you don't have
the tape yet.
"You have a beautiful neck".
Here.
Let me get that for you.
- I am Tanya.
- My name is Max.
- Welcome to Helsinki.
- Your phone voice had me...
worried, but I have a feeling this
blind date is gonna work out fine.
- Your drink, sir.
- Impossible. I haven't ordered yet.
- Then perhaps the lady's.
- I'm sorry.
You could bring me some cigars.
You got any Cubans?
Of course, sir.
Monterrey or Romeo y Julieta?
You got R&J's,
I'll take a box then.
Would you excuse me
for a moment?
What exactly is
going on out there?
Give me time to find out,
I'm new at this.
So is she. They've never given her
anything of this scope before.
- You know Tanya?
- "Tanya"?
Sneaking secrets out of my laundry bag
has been her biggest job so far.
Am I out there trying to get
the goods on your girlfriend?
Did I say
she was my girlfriend?
She could get
into trouble for this.
The Cubans?
Cubans...
- Where are you going?
- I thought you weren't coming back.
Is that why you took
my cigars?
Do you know how hard it is
to get Cuban cigars in the States?
Yes, no... I thought...
I thought they were for me.
- Shall we sit back down?
- Let's sit down.
Sometimes a cigar,
is only a cigar.
But you do have something for me?
An Item?
- I do.
- Yes?
- But not right now.
- No?
Now? No.
- Sir, your drink.
- When?
Is this Finnish hospitality?
Again, sir, this is not my drink.
I'll have a martini
shaken, not stirred.
for me, a vodka with salty licorice.
I'm sorry, Tanya.
Would you excuse me once more?
- Airline food.
- I understand.
How is it going?
There's a gorgeous girl
waiting for me
and I'm standing in the
goddamn john talking to you.
How the hell
do you think it's going?
She is concerned
about the delay.
- Stay put.
- She's waiting for me.
What are you doing here?
You canceled lunch on me,
and I made other plans.
I cancel... you?
What other plans?
Just idle curiosity with you,
isn't it?
No, I... you're not interested
in what I'm doing?
Your martini, sir.
Shaken, not stirred.
You must be thinking of somebody
else. Is there anybody else?
- I have to go.
- Did you get promoted?
I was spending a
quiet moment...
before more busywork for Yuri.
Are you too big to do
your surveillance work on me now?
Let's talk spy at the
top of our lungs.
Let's share it with everybody.
You haven't found
the secrets of the sublime yet?
How did it go, Max?
Ask him,
it was his girlfriend.
She ran away.
They'll reschedule.
She's handling this?
You know, they talk about her
at the agency.
And you...
Two-career couple...
how it's hurting yours.
What career?
That was another guy...
- another life.
- You know, that's the message.
They sent me another guy with
a message once in Managua.
He was a kind of a friend.
His message was: "I consider
myself lucky, regardless".
That was an order for me.
It was a code...
- to kill the messenger.
- Did you?
It's kinda like your message.
Nothing important on the surface.
You have to make decisions.
Did he have an order to kill me,
or did he expect me to attack him?
Did you kill him?
- You can answer that yourself.
- You can fuck yourself.
Keep at it, I'm gonna tunnel
my way out of here.
I got a club to run.
These things
microwave your brain.
Switch sides,
it'll cook evenly.
The guy is a dinosaur, man.
- Ground thuter.
- What is "ground thuter".
Someone who's on the ground,
confirming what our...
wonderful satellites already know.
That's your phone.
If it's Harry's girl,
set up a meeting.
Promise that thing, stall her. Keep
her warm, until I figure this out.
And I will figure this out.
Hello? Tanya, How could you
leave me like that?
Come on, dancing is one of the things
we do best.
One of at least two things.
Behave, That memo's made me
doubt your moral character.
What the hell was that all about?
Read all about it in
the next company memo.
- Natasha, where are you going?
- Home.
Do you have any Idea what
a mean punk Bliniak can be?
He was never mean to me. I was
young, and didn't know any better.
I've got a past, you too.
- Do we have a future?
- What are you asking?
You don't like the Idea
of me with somebody else.
What if the SVR
loses interest in you?
They'd reassign me,
wouldn't they?
Goodbye, Harry.
Harry, what is she talking about?
What's SVR?
It's an old band.
With a new name.
Hard to dance to.
Natasha, are you there?
Sorry about earlier.
Can we meet up tomorrow?
Today... I mean...
call me.
It's Natasha. Please,
leave a message.
Natasha, are you there?
Darling, it's Bliniak.
No answer at folkways.
No answer at the embassy.
Call me. It's important.
He's "too high up",
you don't deal with him directly.
Sorry, Yuri. Anyway,
I have to go to folkways.
What are you doing here?
I'm working.
I thought I was your work.
But you aren't my boss.
Remember Yuri, my boss?
They want intrigue. I'll start
doing some flares on the beach.
I can row around
looking for a submarine.
Will you just listen...
Look, you came back
to Helsinki early.
Are you following me or am I
supposed to start following you?
Do you want me to say it?
I can't say it.
There. I've said it.
- That's it?
- Trust me.
You and I, Harry, we've
always let sleeping dogs sleep.
"Lie".
It goes "Sleeping dogs lie".
- Be careful.
- Don't follow me.
Reindeer condoms.
I understand these are
a national treasure...
but they pose a problem.
Perhaps you were unaware.
The radioactive steam those
mothballed Russian subs let off...
has let the steam
out of the reindeer.
It's a tragedy, really.
They are such regal animals.
The lichen they eat
is radioactive,
and it bunches up in their
intestines,
which are turned...
into condoms.
It ends with radioactive
penises for us all.
Yet another case of our
protection posing its own threat...
My name is Max.
- What are you two talking about?
- Love.
I'm sorry about earlier.
We're together now...
- that's what's important.
- The item. That's what's important.
How about this item?
What are you doing, Tanya?
Great. Try it on, I'll help you.
I can feel your heart beating.
Shh! Up on the bench,
your feet show.
- Who's out there?
- Nobody.
- You want me to get rid of him?
- No, he's a friend.
- Then what is the problem?
- He might get jealous.
He might be there all afternoon.
- You have reservations?
- None, I trust you.
- I mean, what's this?
- Nothing.
"Nothing" and "nobody"?
So where were we? Trust.
You trust me
to give you the item.
And I trust you to pass it properly
after I give it to you tomorrow.
- Tomorrow?
- I'll have it then for sure.
After tomorrow, the whole thing
will be out of my hands.
- I won't be able to protect you.
- You wanna protect me?
Tomorrow.
May I help you?
Gift wrapped, sir?
Miss me?
Me and my shadow.
You keeping an eye on me now?
She's got a good heart.
Hey, Joe, you got nylons?
I was hoping to have
something for you, too.
You know what? No, thanks.
I wanted it to be a surprise.
Listen, I saw this great
jacket downstairs.
Now you're in trouble.
Product testing.
- Any luck cracking it?
- How'd it go?
I found your surge protector...
but they don't have alligator clips.
Apparently there are
no alligators in Finland.
It's too cold.
The meeting, Max.
She's expecting
something tomorrow.
You know,
she's really nice.
Are you kidding?
She looks like she's been through
the war underneath a battalion.
Not her Harry's girl.
She's just like our girl here.
She's a pro.
Harry is her job.
I don't know
how you keep at it.
The SVR expected things to heat up
when you came to Helsinki.
And when they didn't,
I got the blame.
- They think I missed something.
- Maybe they are missing something.
A man who goes through a lot
of covers, lives a lot of lives...
maybe he wants to pretend
to be something...
that he actually
wants to be, for once.
Reindeer ranger.
Just a happy guy, trying
to run a decent club...
hanging out with the most
amazing girl he's laid eyes on.
You have any Idea
what today is?
Happy anniversary, Harry.
One year.
I remember the first time
I ever saw you,
on an SVR
surveillance video.
Oh, no.
The bars. Damn!
We're gonna take care of that.
I gotta make a quick phone call.
Hey, put Dave on the phone.
No, forget it.
Max, check this out.
That's it.
What's it?
- Let's go, Dave.
- Where do you think you're going?
- Wait, wait, wait.
- We are closed.
My friend is dying.
He's diabetic... diabetski...
- It's freezing.
- His blood sugar is extremely low.
One jar of strawberry jam
could save his life.
Just one jar.
Here's the answer, Dave.
Here's another answer, Dave.
The bread answer, Dave...
- pizza...
- Max, I don't like pizza.
- Hot dogs...
- Americans.
They shop like they
are from Siberia.
...and fish.
We have room service.
What the fuck is this?
You get it, Dave?
- Shit, that's it.
- That's it.
- "Kiitos".
- Thank you.
In the store, when I told you
I wish I had something to give you,
what I meant...
Have you ever thought, Harry, that...
- I don't need any anniversary gift.
- No, it's not that.
- I was hoping...
- Hurry up, Max.
Let's catch it.
Harry... thank you.
Do you remember
our first night?
Remember that guy
who was pawing you...
when we were trying to leave?
Was he for real or was he
some kind of an SVR cupid?
Not part of the plan,
as I knew it.
I was wondered, because
I barely tapped him...
and he went down pretty easy.
Are you saying that
I went down pretty easy?
Just trying to
sort out what's real.
Arranged or not, you could
have seduced me. You know that.
I'm just wondering when did it stop
being make-believe for you?
Like that kiss just then.
Was it a lot more real...
than the first time we kissed
or just a little?
We both climbed to bed for
cynical reasons that first night.
Everybody does.
But a lot's changed since then...
I write my reports form
the crumbs you leave me.
They won't give me
the Nobel Prize for espionage.
fine, if we can be together.
- All bar codes.
- But controlling what?
When I graph it,
I get wheels, ovals,
hoops.
What goes around and round
in circles?
We do.
Let me hand over
the big secret.
I love you.
It's Natasha, isn't it?
Just in case I decide to
go out and get a tattoo.
Come here.
I want to tunnel of love you.
"Tunnel of love" me?
Satellites!
The codes.
Codes to control their orbits.
Military or commercial satellites,
like AmTelCom or AT&T?
All of them. They could have
crashed all our...
space bugs into one humongous
satellite pile-up...
or sent them skipping out into
space like shooting stars.
Cracking this in the field
gives you an opportunity, Dave.
Damn right it does.
- You're gonna help me.
- Great!
first thing we do is pick
a big communications corp, TV,
long distance phone carrier,
something like that.
To make a porno tape?
What are you talking about?
Porno tape?
I'm talking about bumping...
a zillion dollar telecommunications
satellite off course...
causing an interruption
in service.
Their stocks take a dip,
we buy in,
we do a mid-course correction
on the satellite...
Bingo! The stock goes back up...
Obscenely rich.
That's what I'm talking about.
What has that
got to do with porn?
I make another
porno tape,
screw up all the barcodes,
pass it along to the Russians,
and I get to be division head.
Stick with me,
we can buy Russia.
Can you bump
a satellite or not?
Dial transatlantic.
Tap into the satellite
controlling the call.
All you need is
a touch tone phone.
Please, I move the money,
you move the satellite.
A team, a fucking team, Dave.
And nobody gets hurt.
No national security threat.
Everything is back to normal
in a day.
I have all the equipment...
Headquarters doesn't even
need to know.
- Right.
- All I need are actors.
That's a fucking
harebrained scheme.
A guy like you, Max...
facing a life sentence...
for treason, should volunteer
his help,
not pass
such fast judgment.
Okay, but maybe we can do
my plan after...
we trick the Russians, huh?
I need a local casting director.
Get Harry.
Wait, wait, wait.
Just what you ordered.
Come in.
Come on in, it's okay.
In my dream, I'm driving around
some street in America...
not lost,
and you're there with me.
I'm getting something
very important today.
I'll trade it for a green card...
and a pardon for my SVR sins.
Will you come with me? Will you
come with me to America, Harry?
I'm trying to reach
Harry Howe.
Could you please tell Harry
that Dave needs him to come...
he knows where. Thanks.
- Harry, where are you going?
- It's nothing exciting.
- Go back to sleep.
- He have to talk, now.
It can't wait.
It's important.
To us.
- Are you gonna propose to me?
- I propose you take me...
seriously. Just this once.
Tonight, then.
- Hello?
- Max, it's Tanya.
- I know.
- When can I have the item?
How about dinner this evening?
It's too late.
- This afternoon?
- Good.
Section D5, today's match
at the hockey arena.
It's okay, everybody.
- Honest mistake.
- Are you insane?
I cracked the original.
Our satellite control codes...
were bar-coded into the
set backdrop.
I'm faking up a version
to pass along to the Russians.
- Your Russian
- Has she called yet?
No. I think you scared
her away yesterday.
I don't think so.
- This an agency idea?
- from headquarters.
She is set up
to get something.
And you're in charge
of the taping.
You, on the bottom. You,
on the top. Like this.
- We need more.
- How many?
- Twice that.
- And that would be enough?
I'm going to need you
when we start shooting again.
I never fail to be around
when the shooting starts.
What have you got
for a weekend package?
It's for two.
Something romantic, something...
without reindeer.
Hello, Mr. Hassan...
But I'm in Helsinki,
collecting the item myself.
Yes, Mr. Hassan.
Our friend in the Gulf...
must be getting impatient,
but no need to get nasty.
follow that car.
Robert Mitchum,
"Out of the Past", 1947.
I got worried when we...
didn't get you on the phone.
- I was just going to call you...
- About what?
This pet project? You are late,
more than with my item, Tovarich.
Moscow is full of these.
Obsolete.
What item?
Yuri, who is
minding the store?
Natasha, who else?
Bend his ear.
Little Natasha is taking on
new responsibilities.
Dave, you have to
hold up the delivery.
Nothing to hold.
She hasn't even called yet.
Something is going on.
There's a major instability here.
- How do you know?
- I said I'd be around...
when the shooting started.
It did.
- Is everything okay?
- fine.
Just running out of time.
fuck!
Here. Stop the bleeding.
- It will be fine. I was careful.
- What?
Stay.
Shut up and drive.
Robert Ryan,
"On Dangerous Grounds", 51.
Drive, or I'll kill you
with my bare hands.
That's now, me,
real life.
Natasha, it's Harry.
You there?
- folkways.
- You got any fats Waller?
I'll look.
Did I say Waller? I meant
Mahler. Gustav Mahler.
- Mahler?
- Yeah.
No, we don't.
Natasha, stop!
It's not pretty on the TV.
It's not yours. He put it in
from the other tape.
- Whose not pretty behind is it?
- That's not important.
This ass is like the Tomb
of the Unknown Soldier.
It belongs to everyone
and no one in particular.
Done.
Roll credits.
Now let's talk about my plan.
We'll leave this mess
to the maid.
Night...
day... nap!
Great, you!
Let's get the hell
out of here.
- That's in every American movie.
- Yeah, you got that right.
- Cosmos Hotel.
- Sure thing, pal.
- Hello.
- I'm so happy I got you, Yuri.
Louder, Natasha.
I can barely hear you.
I am talking loud!
I think I saw Bliniak
in a caf this morning.
Impossible. I'd know if
he was in town.
Where are you?
You never cared
where I was, Yuri.
...good sounds at the Moving Planet.
This Monday we have...
the powerhouse sound, of the
legendary Moondog, his Sax Pax...
At last.
Wait, I got us great seats.
Don't do that, Max.
You could have died.
You okay, Tanya?
I thought we had something.
You had something, now I have it.
Goodbye, Max.
Something's wrong.
I'd better call Harry.
- Where is everybody?
- Black man mentioned the club.
I've been to that place,
terrible music.
The Moving Planet.
Mr. Celestech, I'm interested
in you product.
No problem. Great.
- Let's setup a meeting.
- Can you call me back in an hour?
Idiot.
Shit!
- Are you alone?
- Yeah. What's going on?
No more reindeer watching,
Harry.
You get Yuri's job?
You get reassigned?
- Got yourself a new dream date?
- fuck you.
I thought there was
more to it than that.
I want to go to America.
You get transferred to D. C?
That's definitely coming up
in the ranks.
I'm going to be on
your side, Harry.
U.S., Us!
- I have our ticket.
- That's fake.
That's worthless.
It's dangerous if you feed that
to the Agency.
You're lying.
- You're trying to keep me here.
- You have to trust me.
I'll go around you.
- I'll take it to your embassy.
- Listen!
Natasha...
Stop it!
Natasha, what happened
to Harry?
- You shouldn't have followed me.
- I was looking for him.
- On.
- You're kidding, right?
Squat.
Good bye again, Max.
You called me "Natasha"?
I call you "traitor".
Harry, wake up!
- Where is she?
- Three guys with serious haircuts...
took her at gunpoint.
There was nothing
I could do about it.
What did you do with the tape?
People are calling...
the hotel room
like they never got it.
- I gave it to Natasha.
- Are you fucking with me?
Are you fucking with me?
I told you to hold up the delivery.
Next thing I know, Natasha's
bringing me the sham tape.
So where is she?
The Russians got her,
and the tape.
That fits fine in my plan.
That's your plan,
that's not the agency's plan.
Now here's my plan.
I'm gonna swap Natasha
for the real tape.
No, no. I can't let you
do that, Harry.
- You can't, huh?
- No, I can't.
She's gonna be fine...
You...
How did you know
it was there?
I used to be
one of these guys.
Same school, different year.
It's simpler like this.
You know what side they're on.
What do you mean?
I'm on the other side.
The other side from all this.
- Get the feet.
- Here we go, Dave.
- Thanks for the assist.
- No problem.
When your girl likes
handcuffs, you learn...
to keep the key.
You had the opportunity to
make millions with me, Dave...
with nobody getting hurt.
Just look at you now.
Os cdigos dos satlites.
You were gonna tell me
about this, right, partner?
Schmuck!
Sorry I got you involved, Yuri.
I'll bounce back.
"flexible", remember?
Yuri, hit her.
Poor Natasha! Joined KGB
to see the world.
And now the world is
opening up for everyone...
but spies.
Are you angry because I chose
America over Russia...
or Harry over you?
Is that wh...
Where's your pride
in country, Natasha?
Russia will rise again.
Maybe not in my lifetime,
certainly not in yours.
Let's show her what she's
giving her life for.
- Yes, yes, give me more.
- Let me tunnel of love you, behind.
I like this movie.
It's Harry Howe, calling
from the video store.
You got the wrong tape.
You wanted an
American movie, but...
you rushed out with
the Finnish remake.
Check out the
French maid routine.
The maid isn't French, neither
is her Cosmos Hotel apron.
You see for yourself,
I'll hang on the line.
Again.
I don't mind him
fucking you, but me, too?
I got your girl, Harry.
I've still got the tape.
How about an old fashioned swap?
1600 hours, Eastern port...
Pier 9. Ivan, the Cold War
is long over.
It'd be stupid if we ended up
as casualties after the fact.
- You think he'll buy that?
- It's 50l50.
Cold warriors like us
are pretty much in the same boat.
But it's like the Queen Mary,
it doesn't turn on a dime.
Why don't you just call home
and get some help?
That'd be great. "Say, boys,
you got a couple of extra agents?"
"I'm a little shorthanded,
trying to rescue my...
SVR girlfriend
from the SVR."
"I had a partner,
but I killed him. "
We don't have time for that.
Harry? When you go get Natasha,
I wanna go.
Sure.
All right. fucked?
I'll show you fucked.
Piper Cub, Lear Jet,
DC9, 747.
Are you sure you know
what you're doing?
It's a kind of "learn as you go"
type of deal.
The detonator screw
must maintain constant contact.
Insert gently.
- What's next?
- The glue.
Do I have time to make
a quick call?
Please dial or say the telephone
number that you're calling.
It works!
Please, hang up now.
That was my broker, Ted.
My stocks are going up.
Who knows, maybe it's a sign.
She wasn't taking off on me...
She was trying to move us
both Stateside.
I could have given her that.
Let's get the hell out of here.
The guy who came to you
with a message in Managua...
- did you kill him?
- I shot him in the head.
That makes me feel better.
I don't know why.
This might make you feel
even better.
Should anything happen to me, I,
Max fisher, social security...
Number 282-53-5133, hereby
leave my mother's...
co-op to Natasha Scriabina,
and I leave my tape recorder to...
Shit!
I leave my tape recorder.
Why a warehouse?
It's always a warehouse.
You pick someplace else,
they always start asking...
"What's wrong
with a warehouse?"
You get trapped
by tradition.
Harry, a pleasure. How
have you been since Kabul?
I've been better.
Where's Natasha?
Pretty good matchmaker,
aren't I?
You never thanked me
for giving her to you.
She's not yours to give,
nor mine to take.
for the moment, she is.
Let's see the tape.
Let's see what's on it.
Let's see her.
- I'm sorry.
- Don't worry about it.
The tape is only a set of keys.
They'll change the locks.
People like us always fight
over yesterday's news. The tape.
He'll stand by to take
delivery of Natasha...
I'll be the projectionist.
Coitus interruptus.
- We gotta get going.
- Play on.
You've seen enough.
Are we gonna make the swap?
Harry, play on.
This lady takes one more gasp
and you're fucked.
The cassette's been rigged
with a chunk of C-4.
Let her go.
I don't believe you.
She comes, you go...
Kaboom.
Our countries have cozied up.
The world isn't gonna go bang.
Let's not
go bang here, either.
Harry, we are 20th century men.
In our time, it's proved
difficult to believe in God,
but impossible not to believe
in the devil.
They don't need us.
The satellites keep everybody
in place, feeling guilty.
- Let's walk away from this.
- I need it, and me, in one piece.
I've made my promises.
Me, too.
To myself.
Natasha, let's go home.
No!
Let them go.
It's over.
I don't know about you two,
but this is where I get out.
I'm on the next plane taking off,
then, New York, New York.
I can't go, I've killed a guy.
- I know, it's in your file.
- No, this was recently.
Agency guy,
couple of hours ago.
Never got a chance
to introduce him to you.
Can't go with you.
But you go ahead,
Max will take you.
If that's what
everybody wants...
Are you reassigning me,
Harry Howe? No way.
- Good luck, Max.
- Good luck, Natasha.
Sorry, Harry.
- Take care.
- Consider yourself lucky.
Always.
Okay, Lauren, when...
if we get disconnected,
wait five minutes,
then start buying AmTelCom.
- You got it?
- Max...
Did you just get
my old job back?
Yes, Lauren. You did.
- Wait, wait, please...
- Husband... Tokyo... telephone.
Please?
So, where to?
I've worn out my welcome
in the west.
- I can't go east.
- North means reindeer.
South?
We go south, Harry.
Ernie...
My name's Ernie.
I'm Anna.
Anna Belinka.
Do you, "Anna Belinka",
wanna keep heading south...
with me, "Ernie Halliday"?
I do.
I do.
Anna, do you mind if I still
call you "Natasha"?
Buy!
Buy!
Hello? Hello?