Hold Up Down (2005) Movie Script

I'll open it.
The subway!
Look at us! We can't escape
dressed like this!
What'll we do, man?
No one saw our faces.
Let's stash this and
get it later.
What're you doing?
It costs 300 yen.
So pay it.
My wallet's in the car.
Why'd you do that?
Why'd you get such tight outfits?
The baggy ones look dorky.
Disguises are supposed to be ditched.
But this is all we got on!
It doesn't even have pockets
for Chrissake!
We'll go back and apologize.
We'll say it was a prank.
It's not too late.
It's too late.
Maybe not.
We didn't mean it.
It's too late, huh?
What is that voice I hear?
Arriving like a knock on a door
A wakeup call to action
A summons I can't ignore
A torn ticket to freedom
sits in my pocket
Waiting to be used
So my heart tells me to go
and take the plunge
To cast care to the wind
With every flower of the world
I come to receive your love
You and I can live among the stars
Basking in each other's light
With every flower of the world
I come to...
Got change?
Not enough, no.
With every flower of the world...
- Catchy tune?
- Very.
"Wakaba Police Station"
"Wakaba Police Station"
Let's see if I got this right...
"Wakaba Police Station"
Your husband beat you...
you're lost...
your cat ran away...
a pervert felt you up...
and you were robbed 500 yen.
800 yen.
All right. First...
you two switch places.
How's that?
Let's try again.
Your husband beat you...
a pervert grabbed you...
your cat ran away...
you're lost...
robbed 500 yen.
800 yen!
I agree.
Could we hurry it up?
Silence! First, we establish
an order. Order is everything.
At banks, hospitals, city hall...
everywhere, stupid.
Some guy just hit me with a bat.
This complicates matters.
It sure does.
Okay, how about standing right
between these two?
Make room.
Shouldn't he come after me?
Mister, can't you see he's bleeding?
Doesn't that mean anything to you?
Sure but...
Who's in worse shape, huh?
You, who lost a mere 500 yen?
Or this gentleman who's
bleeding from the head!?
But everyone's been waiting.
You could show a little more,
you know... compassion.
Never mind. Time's a wasting.
Run it by me again.
Yes, Sir. Beaten by husband...
beaten by thug...
felt up by pervert...
Officer! Officer!
Arrest this man!
He's a serious criminal!
That's him! The guy who hit me
with a bat!
You don't mean he's...?
It's him!
The "Aluminum Batsman!"
It's him all right!
Here's proof!
Thank you for your help.
We'll handle it from here.
What, no reward?
Okay you! Squeeze in here.
Make room, people.
What a day, huh, Chief?
Hey... concrete jungle.
Police... what!?
Bank robbery!
Two guys dressed as Santa Claus!
They're the ones that mugged me!
Okay, change places with him.
Good! Once more, please.
Hit by husband, hit withbat,
hit bybat...
fondled by pervert... cat ran away...
robbed of change... is lost.
Don't move!
Hey, man! You okay!?
Now you've done it.
I think I killed him.
That's what you get for flooring it
all the time.
Cops aren't supposed to
run people over.
Oh God... oh God!
What'll I do?
Hey, he just swallowed something.
Looked like a key.
Homeless, huh?
Well, there are no witnesses...
except for me.
I'm broke.
Can you help me out?
I'd sure like a new gun.
Excuse me?
This yakuza I know says he'll
sell me one... pricy, though.
But that's illegal.
Who's going to find out?
I'm dying to shoot someone.
How many kids you got? Six?
Must be hard work.
If their daddy's dismissed from
the force, how're they gonna eat?
Today's Christmas Eve, right?
Daddy's gotta buy presents.
I gotcha.
I'll pay you.
Good. Go grab the other end.
Damn! It won't open.
Pry it open with something.
Would you come with us, gents?
Something wrong, Officer?
Where shall we dump him?
The woods?
There's gotta be some place good.
I should've asked the yakuza
I busted the other day.
Come on! Help me out here.
You're the one who hit him.
And look, you're flooring it again.
What the hell's wrong with you?
You get behind the wheel and
you get possessed.
The other day, you were diving like
a maniac, mumbling shit like...
"Into the turn at 220 mph!"
You ain't cut out to drive.
Shut up.
I said, "shut the hell up!"
Why should I?
I like...
I love motor sports!
Stop it! Slow down!
Slow down, damn it!
Scared...? Huh?
Okay, so I ran over some guy!
Big deal!
Who's gonna miss a homeless...?
I gotta pee.
Hey, where'd he go?
He's gone!
Father in heaven, forgive me.
But I...
can no longer do your work.
I've failed you.
Chill out!
I'm sorry.
But I no longer deserve to live.
Long hair... scraggly beard...
ragged clothes...
It can't be.
Could this be...
the Lord Jesus?
I didn't know he was Asian.
Are you alive?
My Lord...? My Lord?
I'll get you to a hospital.
We nabbed the "Aluminum Batsman!"
We have returned!
Sit down.
We're drowning in suspects.
They're all yours.
I'm here for your statement.
Statement? Sure thing.
Uh, let's see...
I'm Choji Kimata, age 29, single.
I'm into photography.
My pet phrase is
"reserved seating."
Listen, I...
I had a pet turtle. People tell me
I'm good with animals.
I dream of owning a pet shop.
I'm interested in volunteer
and disaster relief work!
Giving to charity.
More recently...
I've taken a strong position on
the environment and education...
issues such as agoraphobia and
bullying in schools.
Now more than ever, family values are
called into question.
Someday, if I get married
and become a father...
I want to take my kids on trains.
That's correct. I love trains.
Especially state-of-the-art,
eco-friendly train car design.
Barrier-free, low energy,
low maintenance...
Tobu 50,000 Series!
You like... trains, too?
How about the new Nankai commuter?
2300 Series!
Stainless steel commuter...
3300 and 3150 series!
My dream is to charter an Izu Express
2100 from Tokyo Station...
and get married on it.
A "bridal train?"
Move it, God damn it!
Have you no mercy?
I'm transporting the Lord here!
God shall smite you!
Hold on, My Lord.
I'll save you, I promise!
You identified the "Batsman" as he
passed you on the road?
From the other direction?
Yes, well, that's what's called
"police instincts."
You'll develop those someday.
What's this?
Found it in a towed away vehicle
near the bank robbery.
Could have some relevance.
Instinct tells me...
no relevance.
Hey, Hoshino.
A word with you, please.
We'll release the suspects,
follow them to the money...
and grab it for ourselves.
They can't report it stolen.
We'll be home free!
Well, I'm not going along with it.
Yes, you are "Mr. Hit-and-run."
Hey... check this out.
A gun from the sleeve.
Just like in "Taxi Driver."
Cool, huh?
The spring action's a bit touchy.
I'll need to fix that.
I like the "Kumoru 23050."
I prefer the "Kumoya 22."
Ah yes, pre-war chassis with
rounded roof.
And the "Kiwa 90."
What about private rail?
The "Chichibu 1000!"
Yellow with brown stripe.
No fair, that's mine!
You ever ridden the "Snow View Special"
on the Inland Akita Line?
Let's go together!
And the "Aizu Treeline Special" too!
Of course!
You know, the "Streetcar Summit"
is coming soon...
All right, we'll handle it from here.
Take off, Sister.
Hands off!
Say what?
Hands off my girl!
Your girl?
That's right. My partner on
the Snow View Special.
Don't look at me.
Whatever... Take a hike.
I'll blow your fucking head off!
My Lord! We're here!
You're in good hands now!
Now I've done it.
I've done it again.
What now?
I'll turn myself in...
for freezing my Lord and Savior.
Are you all right?
I'm fine.
Well I'm not leaving you here
with them.
I see too much pain in your eyes.
We're not here to hate each other.
Rather, we were born to love.
So please... take my hand.
Let's be free.
Our one-way ticket to paradise awaits!
Well... this is what we wanted.
Let's go!
It's him!
Call an ambulance!
Forgive me.
The Lord's been stolen!
Get in.
No thanks.
Hurry up!
Oh, God!
Dear Lord...
what lesson are you
trying to teach me?
What can a useless sinner
like me possibly learn now?
I'm beyond salvation.
The "Asakaze!"
The "Sakura!"
What're you fighting about?
- BLT?
What's that?
Blue Train Line.
I should've known.
What's that mean?
Who cares?
I do. The Sakura rules.
"Sakura, Sakura!"
Did you date a girl by that name?
I can explain...
I hate you!
It was nothing!
She meant nothing!
It's over?
- Over.
- Swear?
I swear.
Then I forgive you.
Thank God.
Give me a break.
And why am I driving?
You were one screaming,
"Let's be free!" You drive.
No license. I ride the train.
Me, too.
We ride the train.
Look angry again.
Please... It's so darn cute!
Forget it.
What's "BLT" anyway?
What is death?
What is life?
I don't know.
It is beyond me.
I've been a sinner.
I'm tired.
I don't care anymore.
Officer! A man just stole my purse!
I can't...
He's getting away!
Wait, who are you?
Who me?
You're the truck driver we saw
this morning!
So where'd those two go?
Please... the thief!
We're busy.
Aren't you guys cops?
Go do your job.
Which way?
That's him there!
Dear Lord, I'm about to sin again.
"And the train went toot, toot,
chugga, chugga..."
"All aboard! Toot, toot...
chugga, chugga!"
"The world speeds by my window..."
"Fields whiz by... people whiz by..."
"Houses", not people.
Is that right?
"Fields whiz by... houses whiz by..."
My Lord.
You haven't yet forsaken me.
Why? What use could I have?
I am a condemned sinner.
Are you granting me another chance?
My Lord smells of fish.
You're so cold...
I must warm you.
Hey, isn't that...?
The homeless guy!
What melts ice? Hot water.
Hot springs have hot water.
And when it comes to hot springs,
nothing beats the Hotel Ginyu Resort!
That homeless guy's got the key.
And the money's in a locker?
Yes! I don't care about the money
anymore. Just release her.
Stolen squad car spotted...!
You're not stopping me!
I'm a servant of the Lord!
And I must get to the Hotel Ginyu
Resort to revive him!
Stop! He's not stopping!
Look out!
Let's go.
Hey! Release her!
Give her back!
Hey! You assholes!
You won't get away with this.
I'll tell the Chief.
The Chief's dead... probably.
He's dead? How?
This guy killed him.
It was an accident!
I'll talk... I'll report everything
that happened today.
You can't do that.
Why not?
You're a conspirator.
How so?
You helped bank robbers escape.
That was...
Everyone saw you.
Running down the hall,
giddily holding hands.
Show me the way, Father.
We'll never get these off.
What are you doing?
You watch too many movies.
That's never gonna work.
I'll show them not to mess
with a man in love.
Or fool with a train lover!
Could you do mine, too?
No. I watch too many movies.
I'm sorry. I take it back.
Forget the money.
I'm going straight. See ya.
Wait! Don't leave me here!
I'll do whatever you say!
Okay, you can have it all!
My train collection!
Commemorative tickets...
My locomotive encyclopedia!
It's all yours!
I just want my girl back!
I'm begging you!
Stop whimpering.
Hold on, Babe.
I'm coming to save you!
Knock it off.
I'm the one driving.
And stop staring.
Is the Hotel Ginyu still in business?
Are they closed?
I've been waiting for you.
I'm Kiyoko, Head Mistress.
Yes, well... I...
Party of two?
This way.
Seat our guests, please.
Yes, Ma'am.
Follow me.
I don't drink.
Forgive me.
It's unfair... seriously unfair.
Why am I the one being judged?
Why me?
I just can't take it.
Stop staring.
You look happy.
Having fun?
Enjoying life?
That's one big grin you got.
Like life?
Not me.
I find it dull.
And hard.
Life is really, really hard.
There's nothing here for me.
It's pretty damn unfair.
No money, no women.
No motivation...
No one's ever trusted me.
No one's ever flattered me.
I'm just plain tired.
I've got nothing to
look forward to...
nothing to live for.
Shall I fix you something else?
Is life really that dull?
Excuse me?
Your life.
Yes, it is.
I see.
I fail at everything.
I've had it.
"Those who have little to forgive
have little to love."
Know what that means?
People who believe they are
without fault...
have the coldest hearts.
Those whose sins run deep...
carry profound love.
Chill out!
Take it easy!
It's pitch black.
We're going in.
You wait here.
Hey, come on!
What could he be up to here?
He's frozen stiff.
And smells like fish.
Son of a bitch.
You're a dead man.
What's going on?
What have you assholes done to her?!
Go to hell.
Just go to hell.
Die... all of you!
Death is how you atone
for your sins.
There's no escape.
Dear Lord, have mercy on me.
For I have sinned.
My Lord...
"Open Air Spa"
My Lord...
I am finished.
Please watch your step.
Everyone, we will be departing for
Heaven shortly.
This is so exciting.
Is it far, I wonder?
- How long's the ride?
- Two and a half hours.
Quite short, then!
Where am I?
I don't remember a thing.
Ow, my stomach!
I need to crap.
What is that voice I hear?
Arriving like a knock on a door
A wakeup call to action
A summons I can't ignore
A torn ticket to freedom sit in
my pocket waiting to be used
So my heart
tells me to go and take the plunge
To cast care to the wind
With every flower of the world
I come to receive your love
You and I can live among the stars
Basking in each other's light
I walk in search of you
No distance is too great
When you have someone to love
You take flight without reason
A street corner melody goes silent
And I still can't see a thing
So my heart tells me to go and
take the plunge
To cast care to the wind
YOSHIHIKO INOHARA With every flower in
the world I come to receive your love
You and I can live among the stars
Basking in each other's light
I drifted helplessly to this planet
And had my share of romance
But should I find the one for me
I'll follow without hesitation
The seasons pass, memories fade
And still nothing heals
So my heart tells me to go and
take the plunge
To cast care to the wind
With every flower of the world
I come to receive your love
You and I can live among the stars
Basking in each other's light
With every flower of the world
I come to receive your love
You and I can live among the stars
Basking in each other's light
Yu Kashii
Ayumi Ito
Arata Furuta
Tomu Miyazaki
Eihi Shiina
Yuhki Himura Osamu Shitara (BANANAMAN)
Leo Morimoto
Masatoh Eve
Hitomi Takahashi
Executive Producer
Julie K. Fujishima
Producers: Hiroaki Miki Kazuteru
Harafuji Taro Nagamatsuya
Written by
Masao Nakabori
Lighting Director
Fumio Maruyama
Art Director
Koichi Takeuchi
Sound Mixer
Masayuki Iwakura
Production Supervisor
Hiroko Nakamura
In Association With
Johnny & Associates
An IMJ Entertainment production
J Storm presents