Honeymoon Crasher (2025) Movie Script
Ladies and gentlemen,
the couple will now exchange vows.
Lucas Duvivier, do you take lodie Faberg
to be your lawfully wedded wife?
- Don't worry, honey. He can still say no.
- Stop.
I do!
Perfect.
They're so cute.
Excellent.
And do you, lodie Faberg,
take Lucas Duvivier
to be your lawfully wedded husband?
- Fuck's sake.
- Unbelievable.
Sorry.
I'd like to remind everyone
that cell phones must be
switched to wedding mode.
- Thank you
- Wedding mode!
As I was saying,
lodie Faberg,
do you take Lucas Duvivier...
Come on. That's enough!
Oh, no! Come on!
- It's Damien.
- What?
I'll start again.
Do you, lodie Faberg, take...
This is ridiculous.
Who is it?
One of her friends.
Quit it! We're at a wedding.
We can't answer!
That's enough now.
All right. Calm down.
lodie, apparently, it can't wait.
Huh?
Pass it to her.
Answer, quickly.
lodie, what are you doing?
You can't answer!
I'm sorry. I won't be long, okay?
Hello?
- What's going on?
- Unbelievable.
- An emergency, I think.
- What is so urgent?
- An emergency?
- But
Yes, you're out of your mind.
I can't. I'm at my wedding.
- Why tell me this today?
- Who is it?
Of course I remember Capri.
- What?
- How could I forget?
I've never felt that way about anyone.
- Who is it?
- Her ex.
- What?
- Her ex?
Darling, that's enough. Hang up now, okay?
Miss, please.
Everyone is waiting for your answer.
Do you take him or not?
- Yes, of course.
- There, she said, "Yes."
- So, you do?
- No! No
By saying "Yes" to you, I said "No." See?
So, just to be clear.
When you say "Yes", you mean "No"?
No way! I thought you were in Australia.
Miss! Does yes mean no?
Maybe, yes.
I'm a bit lost.
- She said what to whom?
- No idea.
- So, no.
- Is it yes?
I'm sorry, Lucas. I
I can't.
No!
Sorry.
- lodie!
- lodie?
lodie
Oh, my poor boy.
I'm afraid it's a no.
I'm sorry, Lucas. I
I can't.
I'm sorry, Lucas. I can't.
I'm sorry, Lucas. I
Are you okay?
Yeah, I know. I heard about
It must be hard for you.
Yeah, it's not easy.
You're a great guy. Good-looking too.
- Really?
- You're the cutest teacher in school.
Who knows? You might find someone
sooner than you think.
I know it isn't a good time, but
But, La
I feel something between us too,
but it's too soon for me.
- Lucas?
- Yeah?
It's not my phone number.
It's my bank details.
The others and I were wondering
if you could pay back the money
we collected for your wedding gift
since there wasn't any wedding.
No rush though.
But don't take too long.
Hi, Corine. It's Lucas.
Would you please tell lodie
Tell your daughter it's okay.
I've moved on.
I don't want
You're a bitch! And you're ugly!
I want you back.
lodie?
- Hi, sweetie!
- Hello!
- Hi!
- It's us.
We popped by the caterer's
to pick up the food.
We've taken some for us already.
Right, sweetie.
I know it's hard
to believe me right now, but trust me.
There's always light
at the end of the tunnel.
Or a train.
Where are the tools
I got you for Christmas?
Your kitchen drawer won't shut.
Dad, Mom, thanks for coming,
but I want to be alone.
Oh, what's this?
This is gorgeous!
It's the brochure for our honeymoon.
You wanted to take her there?
It's the prettiest resort in Mauritius.
Looks expensive!
You've no idea. I had to take out a loan.
And the agency won't even refund me.
Well, go then. It'll do you good.
- Sure. All on my own?
- I could go with you if you want.
Mom, can you hear yourself?
- I'm not honeymooning with my mother.
- I know, Lucas. I was kidding.
I'll call them and get your money back.
Don't be such a doormat.
- Mom!
- Yes!
Without me, everyone gets ripped off!
You know, Lucas, after our wedding,
we planned to go to Rio.
See? It was her dream.
But work,
buying the house, your arrival
Just life.
We never went.
Shit, it's lodie. Can you go?
Say hi from me.
Is that your only solution?
- lodie?
- With who? His mother?
- I'm glad you called.
- Really?
- Didn't you want me dead?
- I can't hear you. Where are you?
Where Damien works. Cool, right?
What? I thought he was a mechanic.
No, I just said he worked with cars.
- Are you okay? Who is it?
- Lucas.
How awful. Poor guy.
He's so nice.
You mean a lot to me, Lucas,
but with Damien, it's stronger.
lodie, if you called to rub it in...
No, don't hang up! Wait.
On our wedding day,
I stupidly left my keys at home.
We're at the Miami GP next week
and I don't have any clothes.
Can I come by next week?
- No.
- Why not?
Well, next week won't be possible.
But why?
- I'll be in Mauritius. Remember?
- You're going?
- Alone?
- Why would I be alone?
You're not irreplaceable. Get real.
Who are you going with, Lucas?
None of your business.
Lucas, sweetie. Where's your passport?
Sweetie?
I'd rather you gave it to me,
so you don't lose it. Right?
Compliments of the airline
on your honeymoon.
How lovely. Here you go, sweetie.
- How kind.
- You're welcome.
Would you like a photo?
- No, thanks. It's fine.
- I'd like one.
- Give me your phone.
- Yes.
Right.
It'd be better with a kiss,
don't you think?
Go on.
- There. Enjoy the flight, lovebirds.
- Thanks.
HONEYMOON CRASHER
Can you stop sulking for one second?
I always gave you kisses as a boy.
You loved it.
Mom, stop!
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Welcome to Mauritius.
- Thank you.
There is a small snag.
Apparently, our room isn't ready.
Oh, you speak French. Yes.
We had an issue with the previous guests,
but don't worry, it'll soon be sorted.
Yes, but my wife is tired.
You'd never guess. You look ravishing!
We'll give you two cocktails. Don't worry.
Frankly, for the price we're paying,
it's unacceptable.
Oh, these young people, they are so tired.
- And you are Mrs
- Duvivier.
Duvivier, exactly. And Mr. Duvivier?
- He's over there, taking photos.
- So I see.
He's young.
Yes, but he's not tired.
- Are you coming, sweetie?
- Yeah.
This way, please.
You see, Ryan? People usually criticize
an age difference,
but with those two, it's not a problem.
I think they think we're a couple.
It's funny, right?
No, it's not. It's gross.
When I picked you up from school,
people took me for your sister.
Marrying my sister is gross too.
Age is just a state of mind.
You could say he looks older than her.
Only one bed!
This is the island of love
with a capital I.
The sea is a caress.
The air is aphrodisiac.
- Ma'am.
- Thank you.
Sir.
A night of romance here
washes all your problems away.
If the gentleman performs, of course.
Where will I sleep?
- Ma'am.
- Yes?
If I may, this doesn't match
the brochure at all.
Just look.
Where's the terrace
with the pool and the lagoon view?
- And the sauna?
- I see the misunderstanding.
This is gorgeous, of course,
but that is the Villa Royale.
It's much more expensive, of course.
But I've already spent a fortune!
There isn't even a couch!
- Oh, my.
- You'll have to excuse him.
He's still emotional.
- The wedding was a huge shock.
- I'm sure!
No, you have no idea.
Just talking about it gives me chills.
Chills?
It gives her chills, Ryan!
I have chills too.
I hate seeing him like this.
But he did all he could
to make this honeymoon unforgettable.
He's up to his neck in debt.
You're a very lucky lady, Mrs. Duvivier.
- You can call me Lily.
- Lily.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Ryan?
- Their happiness is our happiness.
- Yes.
Exactly!
Tachn!
Come on in.
And now,
the view.
Here we are. The Villa Royale.
It's like winning the lottery!
The Villa Royale is all-inclusive.
Excursions, activities, spa, massages,
full board with our chef, Vincent.
He is at your beck and call 24/7
to titillate your taste buds.
It's all included!
- Amazing.
- Happy?
Yes, he's very happy.
You know, Lily.
For us, you're an exceptional couple.
You have no idea how much I admire you.
Usually, couples fit into the same mold.
Old-old or young-young.
Old-young,
but it's always an older man
with a younger lady.
But you are exceptional.
That's why Ryan and I are making
this exceptional exception.
Did you hear that, sweetie?
Right, Mr. Duvivier?
Let's continue the tour
because the bedroom awaits.
Go ahead!
Lucas, look at the bathroom.
- And this is the bridal suite!
- Look how beautiful it is!
Come here.
We still have to perform the petal ritual.
It's very important.
And I now declare your honeymoon open!
Congratulations, Lily.
Thank you, Gloria.
I'm sure this beautiful couple
would like some privacy.
Am I right, Mr. Duvivier?
- Enjoy your stay.
- Thank you.
Thanks again.
What are you doing?
What do you mean?
She upgraded us
because she thinks we're married!
Well, yes.
What happens when she finds out
you're my mother?
We don't have to tell her.
This is insane.
Come on! What does it cost us?
We just need to play along for her.
Can't you see we're living the dream?
Come on, Lucas. Don't spoil it.
Right?
Come on, Lucas.
Lucas, please.
Okay.
- Don't you want a cuddle from Mommy?
- Stop. Too much.
I'm in heaven.
This is hell.
Hi, sweetie!
Have you been waiting long?
Isn't this nice?
Why don't we visit that island?
No, Mom, but if you want to,
don't mind me.
No. I won't leave you on your own.
Oh, Lucas. You're already red.
Put some cream on.
Mom!
Come on! Fine. Don't wear any.
It accelerates skin aging.
People will soon think we're the same age.
- Put some cream on me.
- You can't go topless!
I don't want tan lines. It's ugly.
Put some cream on my back, please.
Come on. Do it for your mom.
- Do the shoulders properly.
- Yes.
- I told you to do my shoulders.
- Yes.
That's it. Lower now.
No! What about my lower back?
Come on!
When you do something, do it right.
Thank you.
In 20 minutes!
Hi, guys.
This is in 20 minutes.
Oh, if it isn't our lovebirds!
Having fun? Did you enjoy the sunshine?
It was divine.
Look, in 20 minutes,
there's a fantastic quad bike excursion
to La Valle des Couleurs.
I highly recommend it. It's gorgeous.
- Fancy it, sweetie?
- No, I don't feel like it.
Come on, Mr. Duvivier!
Make your wife happy!
- I'll handle it, Mrs. Duvivier.
- Thanks.
- Go. I'll head back to the room.
- To do what?
- Sit around and sulk?
- Maya! Another couple for you.
- Don't forget that I'm grieving.
- Hi!
Hello.
Come over.
Quads are fun, but I organize boat tours.
It's quieter, more eco-friendly,
and just as exhilarating. If you fancy it?
Would you prefer that, sweetie?
- No, we're going quad biking.
- We are?
- Yes.
- Maybe another time.
- I hope so.
- Shall we?
- See you soon.
- See you.
Awesome!
Come on. Put your foot down!
All good?
All right. We can get going.
I'd like to show you a viewpoint,
so we'll continue on foot.
- Park up there.
- Come on!
- Remember to balance the weight.
- Yeah.
- Okay? Any questions?
- There.
- No questions? Because now is the time.
- It's fine.
Let's go as a group.
Hey, she's cute, isn't she?
- Who is?
- Oh, please!
- The way you look at her.
- Ready?
What? I just said that she's cute.
- It's fine.
- Mom!
- I'm not Mom. I'm Lily.
- Coming?
Yes.
A bit further. Almost there.
Here it is.
- See for yourselves.
- Up there?
The clouds will lift. Don't worry.
It's slippery.
Careful. It's slippery.
You're lucky. She's a live wire.
- Who?
- Your wife.
She isn't my wife.
Did I offend you?
You're allowed to like mature women.
- I don't judge.
- She's my mother, not my wife.
- Are you coming?
- Yes.
- You married your mother?
- I'm not married.
Okay. But you are
on honeymoon with your mom.
Listen, it's complicated.
But don't tell my mom I told you.
It's very important to her.
Okay.
Here we are.
If you want photos, this is the best spot.
Come on. Could you take one of us?
- Of course.
- I'll post it on Instagram.
Okay?
Our friends will be jealous!
Perfect. Here you go.
Thank you. You're so sweet!
Excuse me. Could we get a photo together?
- I want to make my friends jealous too.
- Sure.
Could you take our photo, M... Lily?
Of course!
- Go ahead.
- Okay.
- Right.
- Okay, one sec.
There.
You look great! So gorgeous.
- Maybe closer. Like this.
- Yes!
Yes, a bit Like that.
Yes, that's lovely.
- Beautiful!
- Great.
One last one. Okay?
- I think...
- Last one.
Great. Awesome.
- Perfect.
- Great.
We need to head back.
- Here. Look!
- I love it!
- Everyone got pictures?
- Awesome. Perfect.
No, I'm driving.
- Are you sure?
- Yeah, I'm sure.
And we're off!
Mom!
Watch the bend!
Turn, Mom!
No!
Hold on!
Not the forest!
No!
Watch out!
- That was awesome!
- Have you lost your mind?
- It was fun, wasn't it?
- No, not at all.
Oh, you're always
so afraid of everything, Lucas!
Whose fault is that?
So irresponsible!
- You're no fun. Spoilsport.
- You almost killed us!
Are you okay?
That was great!
Yeah, so great.
So great!
I want to try everything.
The buffet is incredible.
I'm not hungry.
Come on.
You're not on hunger strike. Look.
- Some muesli. Just how you like it.
- Give me a break, Mom.
Stop calling me "Mom"
or we'll get found out.
Hello.
Hello. May we join you?
- Of course.
- Really?
Great! We've been wanting
to talk to you since we arrived.
Yeah!
We thought we could connect
by telling you how we met.
So, yeah!
You'll see, it's
So, at lunchtime,
I was at the company cafeteria
and I plucked up the courage to say,
"Hello, is this seat free?"
- Wow, that's incredible.
- I swear.
- Right, my pantheress?
- Yes, my koala bear.
Oh, hear that, my little marmoset?
I remember it
like it was yesterday because that day,
I had chicken
with broccoli.
Well, if that isn't a sign, what is?
- Don't even think about it.
- Okay.
- What about you?
- Us?
- How did you two meet?
- We
We
It's a long story.
We won't bore you with that.
Why not?
Really?
On the maternity ward.
The maternity ward?
You'll see. It's a really funny story.
Go on! Tell us!
I was there because of my mother.
- Your mother?
- Yes.
She'd just given birth
to a very beautiful baby.
- That's what you say.
- It's true.
Because you were his mom's friend?
Yes, kind of.
Kind of? Please. You were very close.
She was there when I was born.
Really?
She was the first person to hold me.
- It was love at first sight.
- Stop!
- No, he's kidding.
- Not at all.
We've been together ever since.
It does bring you closer.
Changing diapers,
putting talc on my little bottom,
walks in the stroller
Hello, lovebirds!
- How are we doing?
- Great!
I'd like to invite you
to a fun couple's competition
that is about to start by the pool.
Coming?
- Awesome. Fancy it, honey?
- Great.
Come on!
- See you later.
- See you. Thanks.
See you.
Finally, an activity.
- No activity for you two?
- I'm not sure.
Come on, Lily, do it for me.
We must show these youngsters
that there's strength in difference.
- How about it, sweetie?
- Come on, Mom
I mean, hon.
- Of course.
- Hon.
Come on. Come on, Lily.
Yes, come on.
I'm sure you'll beat them.
Come on. Vamos, I'll wait for you.
Well, vamos?
So, the rules. Watch.
You have to separate yourself
from your partner
without letting go of the scarf.
For example, I could go like this
Okay. Are you ready?
Music!
Cheer on the couples with music!
- I can't, Mom.
- Focus.
- Look!
- This is hard!
- Not like that.
- Come on!
Come on, baby. Kiss!
- Yes. Oh, no.
- No.
Good!
Come on. You can figure it out!
Careful.
- Is that right?
- Wait
No, hold on
- You have to pass it over.
- What are you doing?
No, go between my legs.
Too close for comfort.
This is hell on earth.
Too much touching. We look ridiculous.
- Right, go back up.
- And under.
Down here. Yes!
- Bravo! We have our winning couple!
- What?
Well done.
Listen, baby. Shall we do the bomb?
Frankly, you were useless.
I'm so annoyed. We were so close.
You just needed to focus a little.
To think I should be here with lodie
Why? You think you had
more chance of winning with her?
Mom, I don't care about winning.
You don't care about winning? Clearly.
You didn't exactly fight for lodie.
- Excuse me?
- No, wait.
It's better this way. I wasn't a fan.
That's news to me!
I thought you liked her.
I never said that.
You did. I quote,
"Of all your girlfriends, I prefer her."
- Have you seen the others?
- What about them?
Listen, sweetie. You've always preferred
bad company to no company.
That's kind of your problem, isn't it?
I shouldn't have brought you.
It was a huge mistake.
Lucas, try looking
on the bright side for once.
We've had a great day. Right?
That's why I'm here, to cheer you up.
But mostly to have a good time.
All right, tell me. What can I do?
Nothing.
In fact, having you constantly
on my back is stifling.
It's suffocating.
Don't drink the tap water.
You'll get sick.
That's exactly what I mean. Watch.
Oh, that's good water.
I'm drinking.
And nothing's happening.
Great. I warned you.
Oh, you're such a giant pain in the ass!
Take it easy, Lucas.
Do you know why I was
in such a hurry to leave home?
In a hurry? You were 26, sweetie.
I was sick of you saying, "Don't do that."
"Don't drink that.
Use sunscreen. Put on a scarf."
"No school trips. You're too nice."
- "You'll get abused by a teacher."
- It happens, sweetie.
"You can't go to Hugo's. You'll get lice.
Not the pool. You'll get a verruca."
You kept the stabilizers
on my bike until I was ten!
Well, you are quite clumsy.
You interfere with everything.
It's unbearable.
But it's normal, Lucas.
I'm your mother. I'm protecting you.
It isn't normal. It's insufferable.
You even came on my honeymoon!
You asked me to come.
Because I felt sorry for you.
Okay, fine. I get it. Fine!
I'm a pain. I hold you back.
I'm an awful mother
who made your life hell.
So if wallowing makes you
feel better, carry on.
But you know what?
This is my first trip in years.
So, you're right.
I intend on enjoying myself.
Hi, Michel. It's me.
What's wrong? You sound strange.
No, I'm fine.
I just wanted to hear your voice.
I'm at Lucas's place.
I'm fixing a few things while he's away.
Actually, I'm glad you called.
I want to repaint the kitchen.
Something cheerful.
So when he gets home
How's Lucas doing?
You should see this place.
It's stunning, and he can't even enjoy it.
I wish you were here with me.
Where?
Well, here.
Michel, are you even listening to me?
Of course I am.
If it was just you and me,
it would've been wonderful.
Wonderful!
- Closes perfectly.
- What?
The drawer. I fixed it.
Fantastic.
The solution to all Lucas's problems.
We still need to pick a color.
A color?
For the kitchen, Lily.
Are you with me or not?
No, I'm not.
I'm here, and I'm hanging up.
"Cheetah Yellow"? Maybe not.
Mom, it's me again.
I just wanted to say
I'm glad you're here.
Thanks, Ryan.
It's so peaceful.
What a long day.
We're almost done. Then, time for bed.
Bed?
Yes, bed.
Bed?
Bed, yes.
- Bed.
- Bed?
Yes, bed.
Oh, there's Mr. Duvivier.
I'll follow him.
Bed
May I?
Yes.
Are you alone?
Isn't your husband with you?
My husband is the last thing
I want to talk about.
Seriously, is it so hard
for a man to listen?
I've heard I'm very good at it.
However, for me to listen,
you'd have to talk.
Sorry.
I was thinking about our fight.
Even then, for it to be a fight,
you'd have to listen
and look at each other.
Sometimes, I think
he prefers his drill to me.
Well, he is missing out.
What?
You're very easy on the eye.
Okay.
Okay.
Oh, no. No!
- Can I have another?
- Sorry, ma'am. I'm closing the bar.
I know a nice place.
It's much more authentic.
- If you fancy it?
- Really?
No, I should probably be getting back.
You can't go to bed now.
Plus, it wouldn't hurt
your husband to worry a little.
Right?
Right
Hello!
You like moonlit bathing too?
Yeah, I love it. I
I was out jogging,
and I suddenly felt like going for a dip.
Good choice.
Heed your desires. Don't hold back.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah. I love coming here after work.
I can let go and relax.
It's really important.
Cool.
Are you okay?
- You seem tense.
- A bit.
Give me your hands.
Huh?
I'll listen to your pulse.
- Okay?
- Yes.
You are tense.
Okay. I have an idea.
I'll show you a yoga exercise.
- It's great for evacuating stress.
- Sorry, but
It will do you good. Trust me.
- Can I touch your body?
- Okay.
Okay. Right.
- I'll put my hands on your stomach.
- Okay.
Now, breathe in for four
while inflating your stomach. Okay?
And when I say so, let it all go.
- What?
- All right. Here we go.
One, two
- Follow my voice. Two
- Okay.
Three, inflate.
Four and
No, sorry! I can't. Sorry!
I'm sorry. So sorry.
I was leading after overtaking
one of the Peyron brothers.
Wow.
One night, dolphins appeared
and swam alongside my boat.
You should've seen it, Lily.
It was magical.
Just incredible.
I think they were trying
to send me a message.
Really? What message?
"Peter,
forget about fame,
"money and trophies."
"Choose freedom. Come live with us."
- Well?
- Well, nothing.
I crossed the finish line
and sailed the world seven times.
Yes, well, you still ended up
in a five-star resort.
First, I live on my boat.
This is just a stopover.
I can't resist
the call of the sea for long.
Denis, do you think I can't see you? Huh?
Come with me.
Right now?
Denis, what do you have? Let me see.
You've got to be kidding me.
Give me that!
Give it back!
What?
- Cool, right?
- Yeah, very cool.
It's been a long time since I smoked weed.
Feels good, right?
Weed is cool. I really needed to relax.
- I love it.
- Yeah, it's so good.
- I love it.
- You do?
Yeah, I love it.
Mr. Duvivier.
Can I talk to you for a sec?
Sure.
- Do you think I'm an idiot?
- Why?
You think I don't know
what you were doing in the water?
While your lovely wife, Lily, sleeps.
No, it's not what you think.
Act with some decorum, Mr. Duvivier.
Don't you realize?
You just got married.
I've never seen the like before.
Have you no shame?
- I'm telling you...
- Listen closely, Mr. Duvivier.
If I catch you near Maya again,
I'll have to tell your wife.
I don't want to, but I will.
And I'll make your stay here
a living nightmare.
Do you understand?
- Yes, but it's a misunderstanding...
- Is that clear?
Crystal. Yes.
- Gloria.
- Yes?
There's an issue with the restrooms.
Some idiot blocked the toilet
with a white sock.
- It's overflowing.
- That's all we need.
I can see you're busy
I'll leave you to it.
This guy
Wait
NEW POSDREAM DATE
Thank you, Peter.
- That was cool.
- So cool.
- Really cool.
- Totally cool.
Yeah, it was
Oh, it's so sad in here.
We need some music right now.
I wanted to get her home safely.
Yeah, sure. Thanks.
Have you seen the time?
You could have called. I was worried.
Oh, that's so sweet.
The little boy is worried about his mommy.
You're drunk.
And then some.
Wait. Don't tell me
you've been smoking weed.
You're worse than a kid. Bed, now.
- You're no fun.
- I said, go to bed!
Fine.
First, a midnight skinny-dip!
What? No, Mom. What are you doing?
No one can see me. We have no neighbors.
But I can see you. Go to bed!
Oh, did you hear?
When you shook it, it went
Hear it? Listen.
- Mom, time for bed.
- Can you hear that?
Come on, Mom.
Here we are.
I'm glad you had a fun night.
Oh, yes.
The second you're alone,
you're partying with some guy.
Sorry, but he's not "some guy."
He is a great captain.
He's Peter, the greatest captain.
I wanted to say
that I may be annoying, but you
How dull are you?
So dull.
The dullest of the dull.
No wonder lodie got back with her ex.
He seemed much more fun with his
You're boring.
So boring
Boring.
Oh, fuck.
- Lucas, who's that girl?
- Which girl?
The girl you're posting on social media.
This is one big joke.
Here I am, feeling guilty as fuck,
and you're on the other side of the world
with some girl on our honeymoon.
Our honeymoon?
Sorry, I checked,
but you're nowhere to be found.
Not by the pool or the private beach.
Or in the hot tub or the spa. Nowhere.
Is that the suite?
See that? I wasn't pissing you around.
- lodie, can I ask you a question?
- Sure.
- Why did you leave me?
- Lucas
- Tell me. I can take it.
- Sure?
- Yes.
- Really sure?
- Yes.
- Well
How should I put it?
You're a nice guy, but you're a bit
You're
You're a bit boring.
What? Don't make that face. It's true.
- You think I'm boring?
- Yeah, unbelievably boring.
And you were still going to marry me?
Yeah, but that's the thing
First, you insisted. Second,
when Damien showed up at the town hall,
I saw you and thought,
"Oh God, this is my humdrum life."
"I'll die of boredom with this wussy guy
who needs looking after all the time."
I don't know. I want fast and exciting.
I need action and spontaneity.
With you, I thought
I'd be bored out of my mind.
You know what you need?
A mom. A mom to take care of you 24/7.
Bullshit! You couldn't be more wrong.
Mom?
Mom!
Let's go. One, two, three.
Arms in the air. One, two
Hi, sweetie. Here I am!
Would you like to join your wife?
Yes, join in!
- No, I'm fine.
- Come on!
- No, it's okay.
- Right, let's keep those arms moving.
Five, six, seven
All right.
What's wrong?
I just spoke to lodie.
- She said some horrible things.
- She did?
- You did too.
- Me?
You told me I was boring. Horribly boring.
Shit, I told you.
lodie said the same thing.
But the worst thing is, you're both right
I feel awful.
You just need to relax, sweetie.
I know, but I can't.
I'm sad. I'm so sad.
Please help me.
All right, come on. Come with me.
- Where?
- Come on. Follow me.
We'll do some shopping. It'll do you good.
There!
Look. Those shirts are fun.
Look. They're nice.
Looking good.
Try this one.
Not bad, right?
No?
I love it!
Try smiling a bit.
Wait, I have an idea.
Stay here. I'll be back.
With Peter.
Yeah.
You'll see.
It did me the world of good yesterday.
- Hello.
- Hi.
Hello.
Take a seat.
Sit!
Wait here. Stay.
- I'll be back.
- Stay.
Stay.
It's good to get away from
the tourist spots, isn't it?
Look, it's an adventure, right?
What?
Hello.
Say hello.
Hello, sir.
Come on.
Thank you!
- I rolled one. Wanna try?
- It's not for me. It's for my son.
Here.
Go on.
Go on.
- That's it. Inhale!
- Go on. It'll help.
It's 100% natural, so
- It's strong.
- Yeah.
Pure grass.
- Relax.
- Pure grass.
Good, you're relaxing.
Police!
Police. Identity check.
Nobody moves.
- This is illegal.
- Is it?
It is illegal.
Show me some ID!
What?
Stop!
Denis!
You're a good person, like me.
Give me some love.
Give me some love, Denis.
Goodbye, brother!
Come with us, sir.
You want a hug too?
Oh, that's nice.
Let yourself go.
Cry with me. Let's weep together.
Move it!
Let's go, ma'am.
Mom?
Yes?
I I'm sorry.
I don't know what came over me.
No, don't say that. I'm the sorry one.
I never should've dragged you into this.
Are you kidding?
We couldn't have done that with the hotel.
Lucas?
Yeah?
- Can I ask you a question?
- Sure.
Why rush into marriage?
I don't get it.
Well, marriage isn't
fashionable anymore, is it?
You didn't have to.
We wanted what you and Dad have.
It's so beautiful.
Yes, well, that's how it may look.
What are you saying?
You are the perfect couple. Zero issues.
Lucas, your father cheated.
- What? With whom?
- No.
With nobody.
He cheated on our life together.
When we met, it was wonderful.
He'd take me out on his bike,
we'd go for rides, we'd party.
We laughed, we danced.
- We made love all the time.
- I don't wanna hear that.
Then we got married.
And, you know
It all started to disappear, bit by bit.
You know?
Soon, all we had was the house, work,
eating, sleeping and looking after you.
- But you still love Dad?
- Of course I do.
It's just life with him
I don't love so much.
Your wedding to lodie
might have cost a fortune
Double that.
It saved you from a lot of disappointment.
So, listen carefully.
If you meet the right person one day,
the secret to it all is
to keep surprising each other every day.
Hear me, Lucas?
Every day.
Have you come down?
Yes.
I am very much down.
- We'll let it slide.
- Really?
- Don't do it again.
- I won't.
Thanks for picking us up.
You're welcome.
My next activity starts in ten minutes.
Can I take you back
to the hotel afterwards?
Okay, sure.
Great!
Too fast?
No, it's fine.
I love going fast.
Cool.
Remember to get a good run-up
to avoid the rocks, okay?
- Ready to jump?
- This is really dangerous.
It isn't dangerous. It's precise.
It's pretty high.
That's why it's fun.
Don't overthink. Just jump.
- This really isn't for you, sweetie.
- You got this.
- Ready?
- Yeah. Wait, I'm not sure.
Right, let's do this.
Come on, jump!
I did it!
Did anyone film it?
I did it! It was incredible!
Incredible.
- The feeling in the air is
- Amazing!
Who's a scaredy-cat now?
- What's that?
- What? What's wrong?
That thing there.
- Oh, fuck!
- Could you turn around?
Whoa, they're all over your back.
Oh, that's so gross.
- Fuck!
- Keep still. Let me do it. Okay?
- It stings! What are they? Help!
- Tropical leeches. Highly poisonous.
Don't worry. Stay still.
It's like a jellyfish sting.
Peeing on it stops the pain.
- What? No!
- She's right.
Listen, this is the quickest way
or it's straight to the hospital.
Oh, no.
Right
- No, wait. I'll do it.
- You will?
Ew, gross.
To think I've waited this long
to take such a wonderful trip.
My dream was to travel the world.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Once, when I was 16, I ran away to Spain.
On your own?
No, with William, my boyfriend
at the time. No, it was Franois.
Or maybe the twins. Daniel and Pascal
were around the same time.
I can't remember.
How many boys were you with before Dad?
- I was quite the catch.
- So it seems.
Yeah. There's plenty
you don't know about me.
I doubt that.
Whereas I know everything about you.
I doubt that too.
A son has no secrets from his mother.
Wanna bet?
- I'll ask a question about me.
- Okay.
If you're wrong
or you don't know, you drink.
Okay. And what if I'm right?
I drink, and you ask a question.
Oh, sweetie. Get ready
for the worst hangover of your life.
Let's start easy.
What was my first job?
You worked all summer
at Bruno's warehouse, your dad's friend.
Too easy.
Your turn.
Same question. What was my first job?
You always taught French.
Actually, when I was 17,
I worked at a pancake restaurant.
- Drink.
- Not fair. I wasn't even born.
You could've shown some interest.
You could've asked.
Go on. Drink.
I know! You'll never get this.
My first time with a girl.
Do you want the date or her name?
You know neither.
True, you're right. It's very personal.
It was Agns,
the girl who lived down the street,
the day after your 17th birthday.
Your dad and I went
to the movies to seeFear City.
But you claimed to have a fever,
didn't you? To stay at home.
- How did you know?
- Your face when we got home.
Given the huge grin you were wearing,
I'd say you did it at least twice.
- You're too good.
- I know.
- Your turn.
- Should I ask the same question?
Come on, I don't want to know
when you first slept with a boy.
Maybe it wasn't a boy.
No way!
Well, tell me then.
- With Dad?
- No!
- No, not my own son.
- What?
Do you realize what you're saying?
Try harder. That's ridiculous.
You're so old-fashioned, Lucas.
I know. It was Franois.
No, William.
Not the twins?
You mean Daniel and Pascal?
Both at once?
It was
It was Sorry.
- Say it.
- I'm drinking!
Wrong! Go on.
Green.
Not even close.
As a consolation.
It was blue.
I don't know.
When was it?
Six months ago.
They found a small lump in my breast.
Why didn't you tell me?
Because you were busy
planning the wedding.
Did you get the results?
Yes. I'm fine. It was a false alarm.
- Are you sure?
- Certain.
It was a cyst.
What did Dad say?
Dad
Didn't really notice.
He's always miles away.
Lucas.
Nobody noticed.
No, let's stop now.
I already got you high
and look how that turned out.
I don't want to be responsible
for alcohol poisoning too.
See? I was right.
I know everything about you.
And I don't know much about you.
Exactly.
Is that a criticism?
No.
Just an observation.
It'll change, Mom. I promise.
So, let's
- Careful! Oh, my.
- Yes. I'm good.
I'm fine.
- Are you?
- Who was your first guy?
Or girl.
- Are you sure about this?
- I'm fine. Watch.
Can I help?
- I'm good.
- Sure?
I'm fine!
Like this
- Turn.
- Like this.
- Again.
- Okay.
- Your turn.
- My turn.
Done!
Tonight, don't forget
our dance contest on the beach.
Good luck to our newlyweds
and may the best couple win!
I love you
I love you
So, are you two ready?
It'll be hard to beat them.
I think they're going to win.
No, Mrs. Lily.
Come on, you can beat them.
Just feel the music.
We've won for sure.
Wait, I have an idea.
I know how to beat them.
Remember the dance contest
when we went camping in Arcachon?
The year of the World Cup?
I asked the German girl
in the next tent to be my partner.
Andra.
You made me practice impressing her.
Remember the steps?
Yeah, I should. We rehearsed so much.
I know it by heart. Let's do it.
- Fine, but you can lead. Remind me.
- Okay.
- So, toss your shoulder.
- Yeah.
- Wave. Twizzle.
- I remember that.
And then...
Shoulder!
Wave!
Shoulders.
Wave.
It's electrifying!
I'm so happy. I think I'll take it to bed.
I've never won anything before.
Tomorrow morning, remember?
- 10 a.m. Snorkeling.
- Yes.
Good night, Mom.
Good night!
Good night, son!
Oh, fuck! Hey!
Not him again! Come back! No!
Come back here!
Come back!
Little monkey!
Come on.
What will you do with it now,
you stupid ape?
No!
Are you okay?
Has it stopped stinging?
Yes. Thank you, ma'am.
Stop with the formalities.
We're closer than that, aren't we?
Expecting a call?
No, the
The monkey
- The monkeys are odd here.
- Not just the monkeys, apparently.
Never a dull moment with you.
I hear that all the time.
What are you doing tomorrow?
It's my day off.
I'm going to the most beautiful spot.
- Fancy joining me?
- I'd love to.
Shit, I can't. I'm snorkeling with my mom.
Too bad.
Wait, Maya!
I'll make it work.
Are you comfortable?
Yeah, totally.
This is incredible.
- Fancy a swim?
- Yes!
- Watch out for urchins.
- I will.
I'm not scared.
- Oh, look. An eel.
- Oh, my!
Oh, bon apptit, Mrs. Duvivier!
How are you?
Very well.
You didn't go snorkeling?
No, I didn't want to go alone.
Alone? Where's your husband?
He's spending the day
with the girl who does the trips.
With Maya?
- And you let him go?
- Of course.
You shouldn't have.
Why not?
I'll tell you something I shouldn't.
- But I'll tell you without telling you.
- Okay.
The other night, your husband
and that Maya girl were in the sea,
almost naked, very close, in a pretty
compromising position. I didn't tell you.
That's great news!
Great news?
Yes, she's a really cute girl.
- Aren't you jealous?
- Jealous?
Oh, jealous!
- You know, it's not that bad.
- Not that bad?
Let me explain.
My husband and I,
we're inseparable.
So it's important
to give each other some space.
Oh, I see. Yes.
I understand. It's quite clever, actually.
Faithful hearts,
but freedom of the senses!
Yes, I understand. S, s.
It makes your passion stronger.
Your desire grows.
And dazzling sparks fly!
Yes.
Something like that.
It's very modern of you, Mrs. Lily.
I didn't expect that.
You're very open, aren't you?
Open-minded, open-legged,
open to sharing
I must tell Ryan. He'll love it.
He'll freak out.
Mr. and Mrs. Duvivier
are in an open marriage.
Open.
"Open"!
Free love, swinging
- Orgies!
- No!
No, Gloria. Not like that!
I never said that.
No, she never said that!
Stop talking nonsense
and get back to work.
- Go on. Back to it.
- Sorry.
It's fine.
Please excuse him, Mrs. Duvivier.
He doesn't know
what he's saying and neither do I.
Have a nice day!
I hope you have a really nice day!
You too.
Ciao.
Your boat is lovely, Peter.
There's no "Peter" here.
It's "Captain."
- Captain.
- You know
After our night at the bar, I had a dream.
I set sail for new adventures
with only the ocean
and the dolphins by my side
And you, Lily.
But I'm married, Peter.
That's why it was just a dream.
Are you okay?
Why lie about honeymooning with your mom?
Who was supposed to come?
My wife.
Well, the woman who should've been
my wife, but the wedding was called off.
What happened?
Did she leave you?
No, it was me.
I left her because
In truth, she's a nice girl,
just really boring.
- So boring!
- And you were still going to marry her?
Yes, but I woke up in time.
I saw our life in ten years
and realized it'd never work.
Yes, because you need
the unexpected, adventure.
- That's right. Life should be exciting.
- Like right now?
Like right now.
Are you okay? What's wrong?
- No, I'm fine.
- Should we stop?
Absolutely not.
- Can you see them?
- No.
I can't see any dolphins.
They're usually by those rocks over there.
Can you see them?
They usually play and frolic
around this time.
- It's lovely to see.
- They're certainly frolicking.
- Show me.
- Too late. They're gone.
- Didn't you mention champagne?
- Of course.
Hey, that's Peter's boat.
Peter?
I bet he's played
his boat trick on another tourist.
Yep! Bingo!
Here, have a look.
Oh, right. I see.
That's good champagne.
There's more in the cooler. Help yourself.
He's up for it!
Holy shit!
Mom?
What?
That's my fucking mother!
Relax. She is allowed to have fun too.
No!
Thanks.
Lucas? What are you doing here?
Bastard! Asshole!
- Lucas! Are you insane?
- Fuck.
- Have you lost it?
- What's with your husband?
Don't mock me! And you should be ashamed!
What do you mean?
Maya and I saw you.
How could you have sex with him?
What?
Nothing happened...
- Shut it or you'll get another!
- Hey! Hold on.
I don't know what you're imagining,
but you're delusional.
Delusional? It'll take years
to erase what I saw, Mom.
- What?
- My mother su...
Your mother?
Yes! Married to my father,
who's waiting for her in France.
He's your son?
Yes. It's complicated.
He was dumped on his wedding day.
He was so down.
So I came.
Nice alibi. You just wanted
to screw the first guy you saw!
Listen here, Lucas.
If, for once, I actually meet a guy
who's interested in me
and makes me feel there's more to life
than a negligent husband
and a son with no respect,
I won't automatically sleep with him.
Although, right now,
I'm almost regretting that I didn't.
Since you were born,
my life has revolved around you.
You're 31 and I still wash
your socks and pants.
I try to solve your problems.
When you're down,
I go out of my way to console you.
What do I get in return? Nothing.
Just criticism.
And for once,
when I can put myself first,
you show up
and ruin everything.
Lily. You little prick.
Lily.
She's never hit me before.
You asked for it though, didn't you?
What if I didn't go back?
There's nothing for me there.
We'd be happy here, together.
Yeah. We could get a little beach hut,
pop out a couple of kids.
And get a dog.
Yeah! And you could
keep being a tour guide
and I'd find a teaching job.
Please say you aren't serious.
I got carried away, didn't I?
We had sex once.
It was good, right?
Yeah, it was good. Great even.
It doesn't mean we should be together.
The solution to a breakup
might not be a new relationship.
It might be your chance to take some time
and take stock, don't you think?
I'm afraid of being alone.
It has its merits.
You should try it.
I'll look for shells,
give you time to reflect.
- Hello?
- Hello, Lucas. Where's your mother?
- I don't know. Sleeping, I guess.
- Is she okay?
Because she called me at 3 a.m.
I thought she'd decided on a color.
Color? What color?
She was very upset. She hung up on me.
This morning,
she left me a garbled message,
babbling about the ocean,
boats and dolphins.
- Hold on.
- And some Peter.
Who's this Peter guy?
- Wait, I'll check her room.
- Okay.
Peter
Can you put her on?
- Mom?
- Lucas?
Lucas!
She can't have. No.
Can't have what?
She's fucking gone.
Aren't you back in two days?
No, she's gone for good.
It's all your fault.
But I haven't done anything.
You have. You cheated.
If you knew how long it's been since I
No, Dad. Not that!
She told me about when you first met.
You'd surprise her, make her laugh,
and then you changed.
But that's life, Lucas.
She isn't always a laugh a minute either.
Really? Because here,
my old man, she's living her best life.
Just as well. I'm happy for her.
Are you really that blind?
You're losing her.
She's bored with you because you're dull.
You're so dull!
Unbelievably dull.
I hope it isn't too late.
If she comes back, make an effort.
A big fucking effort. Okay?
So, you can put your things here.
I'm so happy.
Right, a quick briefing before we set off.
There are a few basic
but fundamental rules
that make boating life a good life.
Okay, Peter.
Sorry. Okay, Captain.
Rule 1: The toilet is only used
in extreme emergencies.
If you need to pee,
do it over the railing.
For a number two, dive into the sea.
Rule 2: Fresh water will not be wasted.
Forget about shower gel, shampoo, etc.
We live in harmony with nature.
Lastly, but most importantly,
only one person makes the rules. Who?
The captain.
So, you.
Never question his orders.
Right. Shall we cast off then?
- Where is she?
- What the hell? What is this?
- Where is she?
- Who?
Tell me! Where's my mother?
Mom? Come home.
Dad and I will change, I promise.
- Is that your monkey?
- Yes. He's the only one that stays.
His name is Gizmo.
Where's my mother?
She had a change of heart.
But I don't know why.
Your mom is an amazing woman.
Before accusing her of being a bad mother,
ask yourself if you're a good son.
Sit down.
I'll take you back.
Mr. Lucas. Where were you?
We looked everywhere. We're very late.
- Your wife is already there.
- Where?
Change into your outfit first.
Follow me, please.
What do you mean, "outfit"? What outfit?
Come on.
Wait, Gloria. What is this?
It's a surprise, Mr. Duvivier.
You're going to remarry your wife,
but the Mauritian way.
- Huh?
- Come on.Vamos.
Agathe, Raphal, do you wish to unite
your souls for eternity?
- We do!
- Wonderful.
Come on, Lily. Get up there.
- Go ahead.
- Next couple, please.
Congratulations.
- Go on!
- Off you go.
Lily and Lucas,
do you wish to renew your marriage vows
and unite your souls for eternity?
Wait, you can't say yes!
- Mom, this is ridiculous!
- Mom?
No, it's a little game we play.
- It's
- Because I'm her son.
Her son?
- What do you mean?
- I'm her son.
Her son who never thanked her
for all she does.
I'm sorry, Mom.
For seeing you as a mother,
not as a woman.
For never asking how you are.
For never caring about what you wanted
or if you were happy.
I'm sorry for being so selfish.
Until recently,
I didn't know her likes or desires.
I never showed any interest in her.
But she's always there for me.
And always will be.
Yes.
So, no, she isn't my wife.
She's my mom.
I've never told you, Mom.
But I love you so much.
Well said!
My darling boy.
So emotional!
I can't believe we're leaving tomorrow.
Me neither.
Were you really going to leave with him?
You know what? I'm burning.
I think I've caught the sun again.
Do you want some cream?
Oh, what a good son!
May I, sir?
What beautiful skin.
Michel?
- What are you doing here?
- You're so tanned.
It'd be a pity to lose it.
- Mind if I take her off your hands?
- No.
Wait, can you explain?
You can't stay here
because our pilot expects us in an hour.
- Huh?
- I'm taking your mother to Rodrigues.
I've heard it's beautiful.
It's about time we had our honeymoon,
don't you think?
Two honeymoons in a row?
Not everyone gets to do that.
Will you be okay on your own?
Maybe it's time I learned.
That's my boy.
You're amazing.
So? Her real husband came back?
Yes.
He's not bad.
I mean He's classy.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Care to join me?
I have a kayak trip
and my assistant canceled.
- Could you cover for him?
- I'd love to.
Kayak? A bit boring, isn't it?
I leave tomorrow.
How about BASE jumping or a bungee jump?
Or swimming with sharks?
You know me. I'm wild.
Subtitle translation by: Laura Player
the couple will now exchange vows.
Lucas Duvivier, do you take lodie Faberg
to be your lawfully wedded wife?
- Don't worry, honey. He can still say no.
- Stop.
I do!
Perfect.
They're so cute.
Excellent.
And do you, lodie Faberg,
take Lucas Duvivier
to be your lawfully wedded husband?
- Fuck's sake.
- Unbelievable.
Sorry.
I'd like to remind everyone
that cell phones must be
switched to wedding mode.
- Thank you
- Wedding mode!
As I was saying,
lodie Faberg,
do you take Lucas Duvivier...
Come on. That's enough!
Oh, no! Come on!
- It's Damien.
- What?
I'll start again.
Do you, lodie Faberg, take...
This is ridiculous.
Who is it?
One of her friends.
Quit it! We're at a wedding.
We can't answer!
That's enough now.
All right. Calm down.
lodie, apparently, it can't wait.
Huh?
Pass it to her.
Answer, quickly.
lodie, what are you doing?
You can't answer!
I'm sorry. I won't be long, okay?
Hello?
- What's going on?
- Unbelievable.
- An emergency, I think.
- What is so urgent?
- An emergency?
- But
Yes, you're out of your mind.
I can't. I'm at my wedding.
- Why tell me this today?
- Who is it?
Of course I remember Capri.
- What?
- How could I forget?
I've never felt that way about anyone.
- Who is it?
- Her ex.
- What?
- Her ex?
Darling, that's enough. Hang up now, okay?
Miss, please.
Everyone is waiting for your answer.
Do you take him or not?
- Yes, of course.
- There, she said, "Yes."
- So, you do?
- No! No
By saying "Yes" to you, I said "No." See?
So, just to be clear.
When you say "Yes", you mean "No"?
No way! I thought you were in Australia.
Miss! Does yes mean no?
Maybe, yes.
I'm a bit lost.
- She said what to whom?
- No idea.
- So, no.
- Is it yes?
I'm sorry, Lucas. I
I can't.
No!
Sorry.
- lodie!
- lodie?
lodie
Oh, my poor boy.
I'm afraid it's a no.
I'm sorry, Lucas. I
I can't.
I'm sorry, Lucas. I can't.
I'm sorry, Lucas. I
Are you okay?
Yeah, I know. I heard about
It must be hard for you.
Yeah, it's not easy.
You're a great guy. Good-looking too.
- Really?
- You're the cutest teacher in school.
Who knows? You might find someone
sooner than you think.
I know it isn't a good time, but
But, La
I feel something between us too,
but it's too soon for me.
- Lucas?
- Yeah?
It's not my phone number.
It's my bank details.
The others and I were wondering
if you could pay back the money
we collected for your wedding gift
since there wasn't any wedding.
No rush though.
But don't take too long.
Hi, Corine. It's Lucas.
Would you please tell lodie
Tell your daughter it's okay.
I've moved on.
I don't want
You're a bitch! And you're ugly!
I want you back.
lodie?
- Hi, sweetie!
- Hello!
- Hi!
- It's us.
We popped by the caterer's
to pick up the food.
We've taken some for us already.
Right, sweetie.
I know it's hard
to believe me right now, but trust me.
There's always light
at the end of the tunnel.
Or a train.
Where are the tools
I got you for Christmas?
Your kitchen drawer won't shut.
Dad, Mom, thanks for coming,
but I want to be alone.
Oh, what's this?
This is gorgeous!
It's the brochure for our honeymoon.
You wanted to take her there?
It's the prettiest resort in Mauritius.
Looks expensive!
You've no idea. I had to take out a loan.
And the agency won't even refund me.
Well, go then. It'll do you good.
- Sure. All on my own?
- I could go with you if you want.
Mom, can you hear yourself?
- I'm not honeymooning with my mother.
- I know, Lucas. I was kidding.
I'll call them and get your money back.
Don't be such a doormat.
- Mom!
- Yes!
Without me, everyone gets ripped off!
You know, Lucas, after our wedding,
we planned to go to Rio.
See? It was her dream.
But work,
buying the house, your arrival
Just life.
We never went.
Shit, it's lodie. Can you go?
Say hi from me.
Is that your only solution?
- lodie?
- With who? His mother?
- I'm glad you called.
- Really?
- Didn't you want me dead?
- I can't hear you. Where are you?
Where Damien works. Cool, right?
What? I thought he was a mechanic.
No, I just said he worked with cars.
- Are you okay? Who is it?
- Lucas.
How awful. Poor guy.
He's so nice.
You mean a lot to me, Lucas,
but with Damien, it's stronger.
lodie, if you called to rub it in...
No, don't hang up! Wait.
On our wedding day,
I stupidly left my keys at home.
We're at the Miami GP next week
and I don't have any clothes.
Can I come by next week?
- No.
- Why not?
Well, next week won't be possible.
But why?
- I'll be in Mauritius. Remember?
- You're going?
- Alone?
- Why would I be alone?
You're not irreplaceable. Get real.
Who are you going with, Lucas?
None of your business.
Lucas, sweetie. Where's your passport?
Sweetie?
I'd rather you gave it to me,
so you don't lose it. Right?
Compliments of the airline
on your honeymoon.
How lovely. Here you go, sweetie.
- How kind.
- You're welcome.
Would you like a photo?
- No, thanks. It's fine.
- I'd like one.
- Give me your phone.
- Yes.
Right.
It'd be better with a kiss,
don't you think?
Go on.
- There. Enjoy the flight, lovebirds.
- Thanks.
HONEYMOON CRASHER
Can you stop sulking for one second?
I always gave you kisses as a boy.
You loved it.
Mom, stop!
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Welcome to Mauritius.
- Thank you.
There is a small snag.
Apparently, our room isn't ready.
Oh, you speak French. Yes.
We had an issue with the previous guests,
but don't worry, it'll soon be sorted.
Yes, but my wife is tired.
You'd never guess. You look ravishing!
We'll give you two cocktails. Don't worry.
Frankly, for the price we're paying,
it's unacceptable.
Oh, these young people, they are so tired.
- And you are Mrs
- Duvivier.
Duvivier, exactly. And Mr. Duvivier?
- He's over there, taking photos.
- So I see.
He's young.
Yes, but he's not tired.
- Are you coming, sweetie?
- Yeah.
This way, please.
You see, Ryan? People usually criticize
an age difference,
but with those two, it's not a problem.
I think they think we're a couple.
It's funny, right?
No, it's not. It's gross.
When I picked you up from school,
people took me for your sister.
Marrying my sister is gross too.
Age is just a state of mind.
You could say he looks older than her.
Only one bed!
This is the island of love
with a capital I.
The sea is a caress.
The air is aphrodisiac.
- Ma'am.
- Thank you.
Sir.
A night of romance here
washes all your problems away.
If the gentleman performs, of course.
Where will I sleep?
- Ma'am.
- Yes?
If I may, this doesn't match
the brochure at all.
Just look.
Where's the terrace
with the pool and the lagoon view?
- And the sauna?
- I see the misunderstanding.
This is gorgeous, of course,
but that is the Villa Royale.
It's much more expensive, of course.
But I've already spent a fortune!
There isn't even a couch!
- Oh, my.
- You'll have to excuse him.
He's still emotional.
- The wedding was a huge shock.
- I'm sure!
No, you have no idea.
Just talking about it gives me chills.
Chills?
It gives her chills, Ryan!
I have chills too.
I hate seeing him like this.
But he did all he could
to make this honeymoon unforgettable.
He's up to his neck in debt.
You're a very lucky lady, Mrs. Duvivier.
- You can call me Lily.
- Lily.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Ryan?
- Their happiness is our happiness.
- Yes.
Exactly!
Tachn!
Come on in.
And now,
the view.
Here we are. The Villa Royale.
It's like winning the lottery!
The Villa Royale is all-inclusive.
Excursions, activities, spa, massages,
full board with our chef, Vincent.
He is at your beck and call 24/7
to titillate your taste buds.
It's all included!
- Amazing.
- Happy?
Yes, he's very happy.
You know, Lily.
For us, you're an exceptional couple.
You have no idea how much I admire you.
Usually, couples fit into the same mold.
Old-old or young-young.
Old-young,
but it's always an older man
with a younger lady.
But you are exceptional.
That's why Ryan and I are making
this exceptional exception.
Did you hear that, sweetie?
Right, Mr. Duvivier?
Let's continue the tour
because the bedroom awaits.
Go ahead!
Lucas, look at the bathroom.
- And this is the bridal suite!
- Look how beautiful it is!
Come here.
We still have to perform the petal ritual.
It's very important.
And I now declare your honeymoon open!
Congratulations, Lily.
Thank you, Gloria.
I'm sure this beautiful couple
would like some privacy.
Am I right, Mr. Duvivier?
- Enjoy your stay.
- Thank you.
Thanks again.
What are you doing?
What do you mean?
She upgraded us
because she thinks we're married!
Well, yes.
What happens when she finds out
you're my mother?
We don't have to tell her.
This is insane.
Come on! What does it cost us?
We just need to play along for her.
Can't you see we're living the dream?
Come on, Lucas. Don't spoil it.
Right?
Come on, Lucas.
Lucas, please.
Okay.
- Don't you want a cuddle from Mommy?
- Stop. Too much.
I'm in heaven.
This is hell.
Hi, sweetie!
Have you been waiting long?
Isn't this nice?
Why don't we visit that island?
No, Mom, but if you want to,
don't mind me.
No. I won't leave you on your own.
Oh, Lucas. You're already red.
Put some cream on.
Mom!
Come on! Fine. Don't wear any.
It accelerates skin aging.
People will soon think we're the same age.
- Put some cream on me.
- You can't go topless!
I don't want tan lines. It's ugly.
Put some cream on my back, please.
Come on. Do it for your mom.
- Do the shoulders properly.
- Yes.
- I told you to do my shoulders.
- Yes.
That's it. Lower now.
No! What about my lower back?
Come on!
When you do something, do it right.
Thank you.
In 20 minutes!
Hi, guys.
This is in 20 minutes.
Oh, if it isn't our lovebirds!
Having fun? Did you enjoy the sunshine?
It was divine.
Look, in 20 minutes,
there's a fantastic quad bike excursion
to La Valle des Couleurs.
I highly recommend it. It's gorgeous.
- Fancy it, sweetie?
- No, I don't feel like it.
Come on, Mr. Duvivier!
Make your wife happy!
- I'll handle it, Mrs. Duvivier.
- Thanks.
- Go. I'll head back to the room.
- To do what?
- Sit around and sulk?
- Maya! Another couple for you.
- Don't forget that I'm grieving.
- Hi!
Hello.
Come over.
Quads are fun, but I organize boat tours.
It's quieter, more eco-friendly,
and just as exhilarating. If you fancy it?
Would you prefer that, sweetie?
- No, we're going quad biking.
- We are?
- Yes.
- Maybe another time.
- I hope so.
- Shall we?
- See you soon.
- See you.
Awesome!
Come on. Put your foot down!
All good?
All right. We can get going.
I'd like to show you a viewpoint,
so we'll continue on foot.
- Park up there.
- Come on!
- Remember to balance the weight.
- Yeah.
- Okay? Any questions?
- There.
- No questions? Because now is the time.
- It's fine.
Let's go as a group.
Hey, she's cute, isn't she?
- Who is?
- Oh, please!
- The way you look at her.
- Ready?
What? I just said that she's cute.
- It's fine.
- Mom!
- I'm not Mom. I'm Lily.
- Coming?
Yes.
A bit further. Almost there.
Here it is.
- See for yourselves.
- Up there?
The clouds will lift. Don't worry.
It's slippery.
Careful. It's slippery.
You're lucky. She's a live wire.
- Who?
- Your wife.
She isn't my wife.
Did I offend you?
You're allowed to like mature women.
- I don't judge.
- She's my mother, not my wife.
- Are you coming?
- Yes.
- You married your mother?
- I'm not married.
Okay. But you are
on honeymoon with your mom.
Listen, it's complicated.
But don't tell my mom I told you.
It's very important to her.
Okay.
Here we are.
If you want photos, this is the best spot.
Come on. Could you take one of us?
- Of course.
- I'll post it on Instagram.
Okay?
Our friends will be jealous!
Perfect. Here you go.
Thank you. You're so sweet!
Excuse me. Could we get a photo together?
- I want to make my friends jealous too.
- Sure.
Could you take our photo, M... Lily?
Of course!
- Go ahead.
- Okay.
- Right.
- Okay, one sec.
There.
You look great! So gorgeous.
- Maybe closer. Like this.
- Yes!
Yes, a bit Like that.
Yes, that's lovely.
- Beautiful!
- Great.
One last one. Okay?
- I think...
- Last one.
Great. Awesome.
- Perfect.
- Great.
We need to head back.
- Here. Look!
- I love it!
- Everyone got pictures?
- Awesome. Perfect.
No, I'm driving.
- Are you sure?
- Yeah, I'm sure.
And we're off!
Mom!
Watch the bend!
Turn, Mom!
No!
Hold on!
Not the forest!
No!
Watch out!
- That was awesome!
- Have you lost your mind?
- It was fun, wasn't it?
- No, not at all.
Oh, you're always
so afraid of everything, Lucas!
Whose fault is that?
So irresponsible!
- You're no fun. Spoilsport.
- You almost killed us!
Are you okay?
That was great!
Yeah, so great.
So great!
I want to try everything.
The buffet is incredible.
I'm not hungry.
Come on.
You're not on hunger strike. Look.
- Some muesli. Just how you like it.
- Give me a break, Mom.
Stop calling me "Mom"
or we'll get found out.
Hello.
Hello. May we join you?
- Of course.
- Really?
Great! We've been wanting
to talk to you since we arrived.
Yeah!
We thought we could connect
by telling you how we met.
So, yeah!
You'll see, it's
So, at lunchtime,
I was at the company cafeteria
and I plucked up the courage to say,
"Hello, is this seat free?"
- Wow, that's incredible.
- I swear.
- Right, my pantheress?
- Yes, my koala bear.
Oh, hear that, my little marmoset?
I remember it
like it was yesterday because that day,
I had chicken
with broccoli.
Well, if that isn't a sign, what is?
- Don't even think about it.
- Okay.
- What about you?
- Us?
- How did you two meet?
- We
We
It's a long story.
We won't bore you with that.
Why not?
Really?
On the maternity ward.
The maternity ward?
You'll see. It's a really funny story.
Go on! Tell us!
I was there because of my mother.
- Your mother?
- Yes.
She'd just given birth
to a very beautiful baby.
- That's what you say.
- It's true.
Because you were his mom's friend?
Yes, kind of.
Kind of? Please. You were very close.
She was there when I was born.
Really?
She was the first person to hold me.
- It was love at first sight.
- Stop!
- No, he's kidding.
- Not at all.
We've been together ever since.
It does bring you closer.
Changing diapers,
putting talc on my little bottom,
walks in the stroller
Hello, lovebirds!
- How are we doing?
- Great!
I'd like to invite you
to a fun couple's competition
that is about to start by the pool.
Coming?
- Awesome. Fancy it, honey?
- Great.
Come on!
- See you later.
- See you. Thanks.
See you.
Finally, an activity.
- No activity for you two?
- I'm not sure.
Come on, Lily, do it for me.
We must show these youngsters
that there's strength in difference.
- How about it, sweetie?
- Come on, Mom
I mean, hon.
- Of course.
- Hon.
Come on. Come on, Lily.
Yes, come on.
I'm sure you'll beat them.
Come on. Vamos, I'll wait for you.
Well, vamos?
So, the rules. Watch.
You have to separate yourself
from your partner
without letting go of the scarf.
For example, I could go like this
Okay. Are you ready?
Music!
Cheer on the couples with music!
- I can't, Mom.
- Focus.
- Look!
- This is hard!
- Not like that.
- Come on!
Come on, baby. Kiss!
- Yes. Oh, no.
- No.
Good!
Come on. You can figure it out!
Careful.
- Is that right?
- Wait
No, hold on
- You have to pass it over.
- What are you doing?
No, go between my legs.
Too close for comfort.
This is hell on earth.
Too much touching. We look ridiculous.
- Right, go back up.
- And under.
Down here. Yes!
- Bravo! We have our winning couple!
- What?
Well done.
Listen, baby. Shall we do the bomb?
Frankly, you were useless.
I'm so annoyed. We were so close.
You just needed to focus a little.
To think I should be here with lodie
Why? You think you had
more chance of winning with her?
Mom, I don't care about winning.
You don't care about winning? Clearly.
You didn't exactly fight for lodie.
- Excuse me?
- No, wait.
It's better this way. I wasn't a fan.
That's news to me!
I thought you liked her.
I never said that.
You did. I quote,
"Of all your girlfriends, I prefer her."
- Have you seen the others?
- What about them?
Listen, sweetie. You've always preferred
bad company to no company.
That's kind of your problem, isn't it?
I shouldn't have brought you.
It was a huge mistake.
Lucas, try looking
on the bright side for once.
We've had a great day. Right?
That's why I'm here, to cheer you up.
But mostly to have a good time.
All right, tell me. What can I do?
Nothing.
In fact, having you constantly
on my back is stifling.
It's suffocating.
Don't drink the tap water.
You'll get sick.
That's exactly what I mean. Watch.
Oh, that's good water.
I'm drinking.
And nothing's happening.
Great. I warned you.
Oh, you're such a giant pain in the ass!
Take it easy, Lucas.
Do you know why I was
in such a hurry to leave home?
In a hurry? You were 26, sweetie.
I was sick of you saying, "Don't do that."
"Don't drink that.
Use sunscreen. Put on a scarf."
"No school trips. You're too nice."
- "You'll get abused by a teacher."
- It happens, sweetie.
"You can't go to Hugo's. You'll get lice.
Not the pool. You'll get a verruca."
You kept the stabilizers
on my bike until I was ten!
Well, you are quite clumsy.
You interfere with everything.
It's unbearable.
But it's normal, Lucas.
I'm your mother. I'm protecting you.
It isn't normal. It's insufferable.
You even came on my honeymoon!
You asked me to come.
Because I felt sorry for you.
Okay, fine. I get it. Fine!
I'm a pain. I hold you back.
I'm an awful mother
who made your life hell.
So if wallowing makes you
feel better, carry on.
But you know what?
This is my first trip in years.
So, you're right.
I intend on enjoying myself.
Hi, Michel. It's me.
What's wrong? You sound strange.
No, I'm fine.
I just wanted to hear your voice.
I'm at Lucas's place.
I'm fixing a few things while he's away.
Actually, I'm glad you called.
I want to repaint the kitchen.
Something cheerful.
So when he gets home
How's Lucas doing?
You should see this place.
It's stunning, and he can't even enjoy it.
I wish you were here with me.
Where?
Well, here.
Michel, are you even listening to me?
Of course I am.
If it was just you and me,
it would've been wonderful.
Wonderful!
- Closes perfectly.
- What?
The drawer. I fixed it.
Fantastic.
The solution to all Lucas's problems.
We still need to pick a color.
A color?
For the kitchen, Lily.
Are you with me or not?
No, I'm not.
I'm here, and I'm hanging up.
"Cheetah Yellow"? Maybe not.
Mom, it's me again.
I just wanted to say
I'm glad you're here.
Thanks, Ryan.
It's so peaceful.
What a long day.
We're almost done. Then, time for bed.
Bed?
Yes, bed.
Bed?
Bed, yes.
- Bed.
- Bed?
Yes, bed.
Oh, there's Mr. Duvivier.
I'll follow him.
Bed
May I?
Yes.
Are you alone?
Isn't your husband with you?
My husband is the last thing
I want to talk about.
Seriously, is it so hard
for a man to listen?
I've heard I'm very good at it.
However, for me to listen,
you'd have to talk.
Sorry.
I was thinking about our fight.
Even then, for it to be a fight,
you'd have to listen
and look at each other.
Sometimes, I think
he prefers his drill to me.
Well, he is missing out.
What?
You're very easy on the eye.
Okay.
Okay.
Oh, no. No!
- Can I have another?
- Sorry, ma'am. I'm closing the bar.
I know a nice place.
It's much more authentic.
- If you fancy it?
- Really?
No, I should probably be getting back.
You can't go to bed now.
Plus, it wouldn't hurt
your husband to worry a little.
Right?
Right
Hello!
You like moonlit bathing too?
Yeah, I love it. I
I was out jogging,
and I suddenly felt like going for a dip.
Good choice.
Heed your desires. Don't hold back.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah. I love coming here after work.
I can let go and relax.
It's really important.
Cool.
Are you okay?
- You seem tense.
- A bit.
Give me your hands.
Huh?
I'll listen to your pulse.
- Okay?
- Yes.
You are tense.
Okay. I have an idea.
I'll show you a yoga exercise.
- It's great for evacuating stress.
- Sorry, but
It will do you good. Trust me.
- Can I touch your body?
- Okay.
Okay. Right.
- I'll put my hands on your stomach.
- Okay.
Now, breathe in for four
while inflating your stomach. Okay?
And when I say so, let it all go.
- What?
- All right. Here we go.
One, two
- Follow my voice. Two
- Okay.
Three, inflate.
Four and
No, sorry! I can't. Sorry!
I'm sorry. So sorry.
I was leading after overtaking
one of the Peyron brothers.
Wow.
One night, dolphins appeared
and swam alongside my boat.
You should've seen it, Lily.
It was magical.
Just incredible.
I think they were trying
to send me a message.
Really? What message?
"Peter,
forget about fame,
"money and trophies."
"Choose freedom. Come live with us."
- Well?
- Well, nothing.
I crossed the finish line
and sailed the world seven times.
Yes, well, you still ended up
in a five-star resort.
First, I live on my boat.
This is just a stopover.
I can't resist
the call of the sea for long.
Denis, do you think I can't see you? Huh?
Come with me.
Right now?
Denis, what do you have? Let me see.
You've got to be kidding me.
Give me that!
Give it back!
What?
- Cool, right?
- Yeah, very cool.
It's been a long time since I smoked weed.
Feels good, right?
Weed is cool. I really needed to relax.
- I love it.
- Yeah, it's so good.
- I love it.
- You do?
Yeah, I love it.
Mr. Duvivier.
Can I talk to you for a sec?
Sure.
- Do you think I'm an idiot?
- Why?
You think I don't know
what you were doing in the water?
While your lovely wife, Lily, sleeps.
No, it's not what you think.
Act with some decorum, Mr. Duvivier.
Don't you realize?
You just got married.
I've never seen the like before.
Have you no shame?
- I'm telling you...
- Listen closely, Mr. Duvivier.
If I catch you near Maya again,
I'll have to tell your wife.
I don't want to, but I will.
And I'll make your stay here
a living nightmare.
Do you understand?
- Yes, but it's a misunderstanding...
- Is that clear?
Crystal. Yes.
- Gloria.
- Yes?
There's an issue with the restrooms.
Some idiot blocked the toilet
with a white sock.
- It's overflowing.
- That's all we need.
I can see you're busy
I'll leave you to it.
This guy
Wait
NEW POSDREAM DATE
Thank you, Peter.
- That was cool.
- So cool.
- Really cool.
- Totally cool.
Yeah, it was
Oh, it's so sad in here.
We need some music right now.
I wanted to get her home safely.
Yeah, sure. Thanks.
Have you seen the time?
You could have called. I was worried.
Oh, that's so sweet.
The little boy is worried about his mommy.
You're drunk.
And then some.
Wait. Don't tell me
you've been smoking weed.
You're worse than a kid. Bed, now.
- You're no fun.
- I said, go to bed!
Fine.
First, a midnight skinny-dip!
What? No, Mom. What are you doing?
No one can see me. We have no neighbors.
But I can see you. Go to bed!
Oh, did you hear?
When you shook it, it went
Hear it? Listen.
- Mom, time for bed.
- Can you hear that?
Come on, Mom.
Here we are.
I'm glad you had a fun night.
Oh, yes.
The second you're alone,
you're partying with some guy.
Sorry, but he's not "some guy."
He is a great captain.
He's Peter, the greatest captain.
I wanted to say
that I may be annoying, but you
How dull are you?
So dull.
The dullest of the dull.
No wonder lodie got back with her ex.
He seemed much more fun with his
You're boring.
So boring
Boring.
Oh, fuck.
- Lucas, who's that girl?
- Which girl?
The girl you're posting on social media.
This is one big joke.
Here I am, feeling guilty as fuck,
and you're on the other side of the world
with some girl on our honeymoon.
Our honeymoon?
Sorry, I checked,
but you're nowhere to be found.
Not by the pool or the private beach.
Or in the hot tub or the spa. Nowhere.
Is that the suite?
See that? I wasn't pissing you around.
- lodie, can I ask you a question?
- Sure.
- Why did you leave me?
- Lucas
- Tell me. I can take it.
- Sure?
- Yes.
- Really sure?
- Yes.
- Well
How should I put it?
You're a nice guy, but you're a bit
You're
You're a bit boring.
What? Don't make that face. It's true.
- You think I'm boring?
- Yeah, unbelievably boring.
And you were still going to marry me?
Yeah, but that's the thing
First, you insisted. Second,
when Damien showed up at the town hall,
I saw you and thought,
"Oh God, this is my humdrum life."
"I'll die of boredom with this wussy guy
who needs looking after all the time."
I don't know. I want fast and exciting.
I need action and spontaneity.
With you, I thought
I'd be bored out of my mind.
You know what you need?
A mom. A mom to take care of you 24/7.
Bullshit! You couldn't be more wrong.
Mom?
Mom!
Let's go. One, two, three.
Arms in the air. One, two
Hi, sweetie. Here I am!
Would you like to join your wife?
Yes, join in!
- No, I'm fine.
- Come on!
- No, it's okay.
- Right, let's keep those arms moving.
Five, six, seven
All right.
What's wrong?
I just spoke to lodie.
- She said some horrible things.
- She did?
- You did too.
- Me?
You told me I was boring. Horribly boring.
Shit, I told you.
lodie said the same thing.
But the worst thing is, you're both right
I feel awful.
You just need to relax, sweetie.
I know, but I can't.
I'm sad. I'm so sad.
Please help me.
All right, come on. Come with me.
- Where?
- Come on. Follow me.
We'll do some shopping. It'll do you good.
There!
Look. Those shirts are fun.
Look. They're nice.
Looking good.
Try this one.
Not bad, right?
No?
I love it!
Try smiling a bit.
Wait, I have an idea.
Stay here. I'll be back.
With Peter.
Yeah.
You'll see.
It did me the world of good yesterday.
- Hello.
- Hi.
Hello.
Take a seat.
Sit!
Wait here. Stay.
- I'll be back.
- Stay.
Stay.
It's good to get away from
the tourist spots, isn't it?
Look, it's an adventure, right?
What?
Hello.
Say hello.
Hello, sir.
Come on.
Thank you!
- I rolled one. Wanna try?
- It's not for me. It's for my son.
Here.
Go on.
Go on.
- That's it. Inhale!
- Go on. It'll help.
It's 100% natural, so
- It's strong.
- Yeah.
Pure grass.
- Relax.
- Pure grass.
Good, you're relaxing.
Police!
Police. Identity check.
Nobody moves.
- This is illegal.
- Is it?
It is illegal.
Show me some ID!
What?
Stop!
Denis!
You're a good person, like me.
Give me some love.
Give me some love, Denis.
Goodbye, brother!
Come with us, sir.
You want a hug too?
Oh, that's nice.
Let yourself go.
Cry with me. Let's weep together.
Move it!
Let's go, ma'am.
Mom?
Yes?
I I'm sorry.
I don't know what came over me.
No, don't say that. I'm the sorry one.
I never should've dragged you into this.
Are you kidding?
We couldn't have done that with the hotel.
Lucas?
Yeah?
- Can I ask you a question?
- Sure.
Why rush into marriage?
I don't get it.
Well, marriage isn't
fashionable anymore, is it?
You didn't have to.
We wanted what you and Dad have.
It's so beautiful.
Yes, well, that's how it may look.
What are you saying?
You are the perfect couple. Zero issues.
Lucas, your father cheated.
- What? With whom?
- No.
With nobody.
He cheated on our life together.
When we met, it was wonderful.
He'd take me out on his bike,
we'd go for rides, we'd party.
We laughed, we danced.
- We made love all the time.
- I don't wanna hear that.
Then we got married.
And, you know
It all started to disappear, bit by bit.
You know?
Soon, all we had was the house, work,
eating, sleeping and looking after you.
- But you still love Dad?
- Of course I do.
It's just life with him
I don't love so much.
Your wedding to lodie
might have cost a fortune
Double that.
It saved you from a lot of disappointment.
So, listen carefully.
If you meet the right person one day,
the secret to it all is
to keep surprising each other every day.
Hear me, Lucas?
Every day.
Have you come down?
Yes.
I am very much down.
- We'll let it slide.
- Really?
- Don't do it again.
- I won't.
Thanks for picking us up.
You're welcome.
My next activity starts in ten minutes.
Can I take you back
to the hotel afterwards?
Okay, sure.
Great!
Too fast?
No, it's fine.
I love going fast.
Cool.
Remember to get a good run-up
to avoid the rocks, okay?
- Ready to jump?
- This is really dangerous.
It isn't dangerous. It's precise.
It's pretty high.
That's why it's fun.
Don't overthink. Just jump.
- This really isn't for you, sweetie.
- You got this.
- Ready?
- Yeah. Wait, I'm not sure.
Right, let's do this.
Come on, jump!
I did it!
Did anyone film it?
I did it! It was incredible!
Incredible.
- The feeling in the air is
- Amazing!
Who's a scaredy-cat now?
- What's that?
- What? What's wrong?
That thing there.
- Oh, fuck!
- Could you turn around?
Whoa, they're all over your back.
Oh, that's so gross.
- Fuck!
- Keep still. Let me do it. Okay?
- It stings! What are they? Help!
- Tropical leeches. Highly poisonous.
Don't worry. Stay still.
It's like a jellyfish sting.
Peeing on it stops the pain.
- What? No!
- She's right.
Listen, this is the quickest way
or it's straight to the hospital.
Oh, no.
Right
- No, wait. I'll do it.
- You will?
Ew, gross.
To think I've waited this long
to take such a wonderful trip.
My dream was to travel the world.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Once, when I was 16, I ran away to Spain.
On your own?
No, with William, my boyfriend
at the time. No, it was Franois.
Or maybe the twins. Daniel and Pascal
were around the same time.
I can't remember.
How many boys were you with before Dad?
- I was quite the catch.
- So it seems.
Yeah. There's plenty
you don't know about me.
I doubt that.
Whereas I know everything about you.
I doubt that too.
A son has no secrets from his mother.
Wanna bet?
- I'll ask a question about me.
- Okay.
If you're wrong
or you don't know, you drink.
Okay. And what if I'm right?
I drink, and you ask a question.
Oh, sweetie. Get ready
for the worst hangover of your life.
Let's start easy.
What was my first job?
You worked all summer
at Bruno's warehouse, your dad's friend.
Too easy.
Your turn.
Same question. What was my first job?
You always taught French.
Actually, when I was 17,
I worked at a pancake restaurant.
- Drink.
- Not fair. I wasn't even born.
You could've shown some interest.
You could've asked.
Go on. Drink.
I know! You'll never get this.
My first time with a girl.
Do you want the date or her name?
You know neither.
True, you're right. It's very personal.
It was Agns,
the girl who lived down the street,
the day after your 17th birthday.
Your dad and I went
to the movies to seeFear City.
But you claimed to have a fever,
didn't you? To stay at home.
- How did you know?
- Your face when we got home.
Given the huge grin you were wearing,
I'd say you did it at least twice.
- You're too good.
- I know.
- Your turn.
- Should I ask the same question?
Come on, I don't want to know
when you first slept with a boy.
Maybe it wasn't a boy.
No way!
Well, tell me then.
- With Dad?
- No!
- No, not my own son.
- What?
Do you realize what you're saying?
Try harder. That's ridiculous.
You're so old-fashioned, Lucas.
I know. It was Franois.
No, William.
Not the twins?
You mean Daniel and Pascal?
Both at once?
It was
It was Sorry.
- Say it.
- I'm drinking!
Wrong! Go on.
Green.
Not even close.
As a consolation.
It was blue.
I don't know.
When was it?
Six months ago.
They found a small lump in my breast.
Why didn't you tell me?
Because you were busy
planning the wedding.
Did you get the results?
Yes. I'm fine. It was a false alarm.
- Are you sure?
- Certain.
It was a cyst.
What did Dad say?
Dad
Didn't really notice.
He's always miles away.
Lucas.
Nobody noticed.
No, let's stop now.
I already got you high
and look how that turned out.
I don't want to be responsible
for alcohol poisoning too.
See? I was right.
I know everything about you.
And I don't know much about you.
Exactly.
Is that a criticism?
No.
Just an observation.
It'll change, Mom. I promise.
So, let's
- Careful! Oh, my.
- Yes. I'm good.
I'm fine.
- Are you?
- Who was your first guy?
Or girl.
- Are you sure about this?
- I'm fine. Watch.
Can I help?
- I'm good.
- Sure?
I'm fine!
Like this
- Turn.
- Like this.
- Again.
- Okay.
- Your turn.
- My turn.
Done!
Tonight, don't forget
our dance contest on the beach.
Good luck to our newlyweds
and may the best couple win!
I love you
I love you
So, are you two ready?
It'll be hard to beat them.
I think they're going to win.
No, Mrs. Lily.
Come on, you can beat them.
Just feel the music.
We've won for sure.
Wait, I have an idea.
I know how to beat them.
Remember the dance contest
when we went camping in Arcachon?
The year of the World Cup?
I asked the German girl
in the next tent to be my partner.
Andra.
You made me practice impressing her.
Remember the steps?
Yeah, I should. We rehearsed so much.
I know it by heart. Let's do it.
- Fine, but you can lead. Remind me.
- Okay.
- So, toss your shoulder.
- Yeah.
- Wave. Twizzle.
- I remember that.
And then...
Shoulder!
Wave!
Shoulders.
Wave.
It's electrifying!
I'm so happy. I think I'll take it to bed.
I've never won anything before.
Tomorrow morning, remember?
- 10 a.m. Snorkeling.
- Yes.
Good night, Mom.
Good night!
Good night, son!
Oh, fuck! Hey!
Not him again! Come back! No!
Come back here!
Come back!
Little monkey!
Come on.
What will you do with it now,
you stupid ape?
No!
Are you okay?
Has it stopped stinging?
Yes. Thank you, ma'am.
Stop with the formalities.
We're closer than that, aren't we?
Expecting a call?
No, the
The monkey
- The monkeys are odd here.
- Not just the monkeys, apparently.
Never a dull moment with you.
I hear that all the time.
What are you doing tomorrow?
It's my day off.
I'm going to the most beautiful spot.
- Fancy joining me?
- I'd love to.
Shit, I can't. I'm snorkeling with my mom.
Too bad.
Wait, Maya!
I'll make it work.
Are you comfortable?
Yeah, totally.
This is incredible.
- Fancy a swim?
- Yes!
- Watch out for urchins.
- I will.
I'm not scared.
- Oh, look. An eel.
- Oh, my!
Oh, bon apptit, Mrs. Duvivier!
How are you?
Very well.
You didn't go snorkeling?
No, I didn't want to go alone.
Alone? Where's your husband?
He's spending the day
with the girl who does the trips.
With Maya?
- And you let him go?
- Of course.
You shouldn't have.
Why not?
I'll tell you something I shouldn't.
- But I'll tell you without telling you.
- Okay.
The other night, your husband
and that Maya girl were in the sea,
almost naked, very close, in a pretty
compromising position. I didn't tell you.
That's great news!
Great news?
Yes, she's a really cute girl.
- Aren't you jealous?
- Jealous?
Oh, jealous!
- You know, it's not that bad.
- Not that bad?
Let me explain.
My husband and I,
we're inseparable.
So it's important
to give each other some space.
Oh, I see. Yes.
I understand. It's quite clever, actually.
Faithful hearts,
but freedom of the senses!
Yes, I understand. S, s.
It makes your passion stronger.
Your desire grows.
And dazzling sparks fly!
Yes.
Something like that.
It's very modern of you, Mrs. Lily.
I didn't expect that.
You're very open, aren't you?
Open-minded, open-legged,
open to sharing
I must tell Ryan. He'll love it.
He'll freak out.
Mr. and Mrs. Duvivier
are in an open marriage.
Open.
"Open"!
Free love, swinging
- Orgies!
- No!
No, Gloria. Not like that!
I never said that.
No, she never said that!
Stop talking nonsense
and get back to work.
- Go on. Back to it.
- Sorry.
It's fine.
Please excuse him, Mrs. Duvivier.
He doesn't know
what he's saying and neither do I.
Have a nice day!
I hope you have a really nice day!
You too.
Ciao.
Your boat is lovely, Peter.
There's no "Peter" here.
It's "Captain."
- Captain.
- You know
After our night at the bar, I had a dream.
I set sail for new adventures
with only the ocean
and the dolphins by my side
And you, Lily.
But I'm married, Peter.
That's why it was just a dream.
Are you okay?
Why lie about honeymooning with your mom?
Who was supposed to come?
My wife.
Well, the woman who should've been
my wife, but the wedding was called off.
What happened?
Did she leave you?
No, it was me.
I left her because
In truth, she's a nice girl,
just really boring.
- So boring!
- And you were still going to marry her?
Yes, but I woke up in time.
I saw our life in ten years
and realized it'd never work.
Yes, because you need
the unexpected, adventure.
- That's right. Life should be exciting.
- Like right now?
Like right now.
Are you okay? What's wrong?
- No, I'm fine.
- Should we stop?
Absolutely not.
- Can you see them?
- No.
I can't see any dolphins.
They're usually by those rocks over there.
Can you see them?
They usually play and frolic
around this time.
- It's lovely to see.
- They're certainly frolicking.
- Show me.
- Too late. They're gone.
- Didn't you mention champagne?
- Of course.
Hey, that's Peter's boat.
Peter?
I bet he's played
his boat trick on another tourist.
Yep! Bingo!
Here, have a look.
Oh, right. I see.
That's good champagne.
There's more in the cooler. Help yourself.
He's up for it!
Holy shit!
Mom?
What?
That's my fucking mother!
Relax. She is allowed to have fun too.
No!
Thanks.
Lucas? What are you doing here?
Bastard! Asshole!
- Lucas! Are you insane?
- Fuck.
- Have you lost it?
- What's with your husband?
Don't mock me! And you should be ashamed!
What do you mean?
Maya and I saw you.
How could you have sex with him?
What?
Nothing happened...
- Shut it or you'll get another!
- Hey! Hold on.
I don't know what you're imagining,
but you're delusional.
Delusional? It'll take years
to erase what I saw, Mom.
- What?
- My mother su...
Your mother?
Yes! Married to my father,
who's waiting for her in France.
He's your son?
Yes. It's complicated.
He was dumped on his wedding day.
He was so down.
So I came.
Nice alibi. You just wanted
to screw the first guy you saw!
Listen here, Lucas.
If, for once, I actually meet a guy
who's interested in me
and makes me feel there's more to life
than a negligent husband
and a son with no respect,
I won't automatically sleep with him.
Although, right now,
I'm almost regretting that I didn't.
Since you were born,
my life has revolved around you.
You're 31 and I still wash
your socks and pants.
I try to solve your problems.
When you're down,
I go out of my way to console you.
What do I get in return? Nothing.
Just criticism.
And for once,
when I can put myself first,
you show up
and ruin everything.
Lily. You little prick.
Lily.
She's never hit me before.
You asked for it though, didn't you?
What if I didn't go back?
There's nothing for me there.
We'd be happy here, together.
Yeah. We could get a little beach hut,
pop out a couple of kids.
And get a dog.
Yeah! And you could
keep being a tour guide
and I'd find a teaching job.
Please say you aren't serious.
I got carried away, didn't I?
We had sex once.
It was good, right?
Yeah, it was good. Great even.
It doesn't mean we should be together.
The solution to a breakup
might not be a new relationship.
It might be your chance to take some time
and take stock, don't you think?
I'm afraid of being alone.
It has its merits.
You should try it.
I'll look for shells,
give you time to reflect.
- Hello?
- Hello, Lucas. Where's your mother?
- I don't know. Sleeping, I guess.
- Is she okay?
Because she called me at 3 a.m.
I thought she'd decided on a color.
Color? What color?
She was very upset. She hung up on me.
This morning,
she left me a garbled message,
babbling about the ocean,
boats and dolphins.
- Hold on.
- And some Peter.
Who's this Peter guy?
- Wait, I'll check her room.
- Okay.
Peter
Can you put her on?
- Mom?
- Lucas?
Lucas!
She can't have. No.
Can't have what?
She's fucking gone.
Aren't you back in two days?
No, she's gone for good.
It's all your fault.
But I haven't done anything.
You have. You cheated.
If you knew how long it's been since I
No, Dad. Not that!
She told me about when you first met.
You'd surprise her, make her laugh,
and then you changed.
But that's life, Lucas.
She isn't always a laugh a minute either.
Really? Because here,
my old man, she's living her best life.
Just as well. I'm happy for her.
Are you really that blind?
You're losing her.
She's bored with you because you're dull.
You're so dull!
Unbelievably dull.
I hope it isn't too late.
If she comes back, make an effort.
A big fucking effort. Okay?
So, you can put your things here.
I'm so happy.
Right, a quick briefing before we set off.
There are a few basic
but fundamental rules
that make boating life a good life.
Okay, Peter.
Sorry. Okay, Captain.
Rule 1: The toilet is only used
in extreme emergencies.
If you need to pee,
do it over the railing.
For a number two, dive into the sea.
Rule 2: Fresh water will not be wasted.
Forget about shower gel, shampoo, etc.
We live in harmony with nature.
Lastly, but most importantly,
only one person makes the rules. Who?
The captain.
So, you.
Never question his orders.
Right. Shall we cast off then?
- Where is she?
- What the hell? What is this?
- Where is she?
- Who?
Tell me! Where's my mother?
Mom? Come home.
Dad and I will change, I promise.
- Is that your monkey?
- Yes. He's the only one that stays.
His name is Gizmo.
Where's my mother?
She had a change of heart.
But I don't know why.
Your mom is an amazing woman.
Before accusing her of being a bad mother,
ask yourself if you're a good son.
Sit down.
I'll take you back.
Mr. Lucas. Where were you?
We looked everywhere. We're very late.
- Your wife is already there.
- Where?
Change into your outfit first.
Follow me, please.
What do you mean, "outfit"? What outfit?
Come on.
Wait, Gloria. What is this?
It's a surprise, Mr. Duvivier.
You're going to remarry your wife,
but the Mauritian way.
- Huh?
- Come on.Vamos.
Agathe, Raphal, do you wish to unite
your souls for eternity?
- We do!
- Wonderful.
Come on, Lily. Get up there.
- Go ahead.
- Next couple, please.
Congratulations.
- Go on!
- Off you go.
Lily and Lucas,
do you wish to renew your marriage vows
and unite your souls for eternity?
Wait, you can't say yes!
- Mom, this is ridiculous!
- Mom?
No, it's a little game we play.
- It's
- Because I'm her son.
Her son?
- What do you mean?
- I'm her son.
Her son who never thanked her
for all she does.
I'm sorry, Mom.
For seeing you as a mother,
not as a woman.
For never asking how you are.
For never caring about what you wanted
or if you were happy.
I'm sorry for being so selfish.
Until recently,
I didn't know her likes or desires.
I never showed any interest in her.
But she's always there for me.
And always will be.
Yes.
So, no, she isn't my wife.
She's my mom.
I've never told you, Mom.
But I love you so much.
Well said!
My darling boy.
So emotional!
I can't believe we're leaving tomorrow.
Me neither.
Were you really going to leave with him?
You know what? I'm burning.
I think I've caught the sun again.
Do you want some cream?
Oh, what a good son!
May I, sir?
What beautiful skin.
Michel?
- What are you doing here?
- You're so tanned.
It'd be a pity to lose it.
- Mind if I take her off your hands?
- No.
Wait, can you explain?
You can't stay here
because our pilot expects us in an hour.
- Huh?
- I'm taking your mother to Rodrigues.
I've heard it's beautiful.
It's about time we had our honeymoon,
don't you think?
Two honeymoons in a row?
Not everyone gets to do that.
Will you be okay on your own?
Maybe it's time I learned.
That's my boy.
You're amazing.
So? Her real husband came back?
Yes.
He's not bad.
I mean He's classy.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Care to join me?
I have a kayak trip
and my assistant canceled.
- Could you cover for him?
- I'd love to.
Kayak? A bit boring, isn't it?
I leave tomorrow.
How about BASE jumping or a bungee jump?
Or swimming with sharks?
You know me. I'm wild.
Subtitle translation by: Laura Player