Honor Society (2022) Movie Script

That's right
Let's go
Don't buy me no ring
See, I got my own
Na, na, na,
na, na, na, na
All the finer things,
dripping head to toe
Na, na, na,
na, na, na, na
They wanna be me
or wanna be mine
Na, na, na,
na, na, na, na
But I just brush 'em off
'cause I ain't got the time
I'll let you hold me
You don't control me
You want it bad, bad, bad,
want it that bad, bad, bad
Keeping you waiting,
special occasion
Are you mad, mad, mad, mad,
are you mad?
You must not know
who you're dealing with
All the boys' necks break
when they look at me
'Cause my shape too bomb,
call it TNT
Yeah, I got it
from my mama, thank G-O-D
I'm a bad little thing,
and I ain't sorry

You like my... oh.
Like my stuff?
It's all bullshit.
I don't care about them,
but these are the gods
of my people,
so either I worship them,
or I'm an outcast.
These pictures, like the ones
on my social media,
are there for one reason,
so people will envy me.
Girls want to be my friend,
and guys just want me.
I'm having so much fun, right?
This might be
the only real thing in here,
"The Handmaid's Tale,"
a story
about a woman named Offred,
trapped in an oppressive,
male-dominated society
where she doesn't have
control of her fate.
Unlike Offred,
I do have control of my fate.
I'm getting out.
Thank G-O-D
I'm a bad little thing,
and I ain't sorry
My home, it's fine,
but when I finally leave it,
it'll be for good.
Breakfast to go.
Banana bread,
just like you like it.
Thanks, Mom.
This is Janet, my mother,
who thinks bread is love.
Good morning, Dad.
If you say so.
My father, Marvin, holding
down at least three jobs,
a white whale whose white
whale is a wooden monstrosity.
Deck looks great, Dad.
Closing in.
It's gonna be done soon.
No, it's not.
It's a fantasy of his
that he'll finish
and get what little downtime
he has relaxing on it.
That day will never come.
Marvin, you're gonna
be late for work!
I know.
- Did you hear me?
- I heard.
I know.
Oh, you heard.
These two people
screwed once and made me.
I'm a senior.
I worked all my life
to get here.
Everything is in place.
I just need to get
through this year,
and then I'll get my golden
ticket to the Wonka Factory.
Like Offred in
"The Handmaid's Tale,"
I've never revealed
who I really am.
To survive...
All: Hello.
I hide within myself.
Tommy Daney texted
me last night.
Can I get an Amen?
Both: Amen.
- Did you text him back?
- Of course not.
He's in high school,
and I save my hand jibbers
for real men.
Well, I wouldn't mind
a piece of that.
Do you care if I text him a pic?
Talia and Emma,
the most popular girls
in school.
They've got all the tea,
kept me from being associated
with the less thans,
and in this hellhole,
they're all I have to work with.
Oh, God.
Hey, ladies.
Thank you for your help.
- Here is a flyer for my show.
- Did not ask.
A flyer is like a tweet
that ruins the environment.
I'm gonna tweet that.
We have got to go and see
Mr. Calvin sing, right ladies?
Promises, promises.
And, Honor, I will see you
later in my office
for some big news.
Did Mr. Calvin
just wink at you?
Yes, gross.
But big news, bodes well.
Fingers crossed.
All the way crossed.
Mr. Calvin is
my guidance counselor
and the key to the whole thing,
but let me lose these two
and give you
a little background.
See you guys later.
- Love you.
- Mean it.
They do not mean it.
For me, high school
is about one thing,
getting out of high school.
Delete this first paragraph.
You don't need it.
The student newspaper was cut
from the school budget
like a million years ago,
so last year I volunteered
to put a new one online.
of the school newspaper
is a good thing
to have on my record.
I'm also captain
of the volleyball team.
It's not a big sport
at this school,
but I'm not a born athlete,
and so I'm lucky
it's a lousy team.
Travis Biggins.
In a different reality,
he'd be my boyfriend.
If I wanted him,
I could have him,
but no time for love.
On top of volleyball
and the paper,
I started a food bank for
the economically disadvantaged.
I also started
a school karate club... hi-ya!
While never letting
my grades suffer.
Ms. Felson, I think
there's been a mistake.
I don't think so, Honor.
Oh, you're right.
That's not yours.
I'd lose my head
if it wasn't screwed on.
And she's one
of the better teachers.
Now, you're thinking, "She'll
get into college no problem."
This girl's got nothing
to worry about."
Let me show you
why you know nothing.
Ms. Felson,
we're not far from here,
went to college...
Smith, I believe...
Graduated sometime
in the last century.

Took on all the causes
at the buffet,
from boycotting lettuce
to women's rights.
She was going
to change the world.

Came back here
to watch her future die.
Coach Biggins.
You know what,
you guys are so slow.
I was gonna call this team
the Old Ladies,
but the old ladies be like,
"Hell, no, we ain't that slow."
Also a native,
went to Syracuse University
on a lacrosse scholarship.
You gotta whip it like this.
For one man.
I can't believe
that's even the same guy.
What you waiting for, a blowjob?
Get going!
Now look at him.
Lives through his son, Travis.
So, class,
what have we learned?
It's not just
about going to college,
it's making sure I don't have
to come back after college.
All my examples went
to good schools,
so it has nothing to do
with getting a good education.
It's about prestige, contacts,
the place that's going
to open the most doors,
where mediocre people get
outsized opportunities,
and where the genius
who wrote this book
fulfilled her potential,
where I'm gonna go.
It's been a four-year plan,
and it's coming
to a close today.

I think the second draft
is terrific, Honor.
It is... wow, it is so good.
It's all thanks...
D, I'm a-tuning
the D string
D, D, D, D, D
It's all thanks
to you, Mr. Calvin.
I mean, without you,
I wouldn't have even known
how important
my college essay was
to getting into a good school.
No, stop it.
You know, Honor,
if I had to use a metaphor,
I would say that it's like
I taught the music class,
but you played the song.
I love a good metaphor.
Well, that is just another
thing we have in common,
and soon enough,
we're gonna be finishing
each other's metaphors.
Now, let's take a look
at your college list again.
I know.
Why am I kissing up to this guy?
There's a clue.
This is the place I have to go,
The school's brand is success.
Earned success,
unearned success,
it doesn't matter.
That's my one-way ticket
out of this hellhole.
And a guarantee
to not end up like...
Well, like this guy.
Okay, so I'm looking
at your list here,
and it seems like
you left one off.
Are you not interested
in Harvard?
Oh, I would love to go there,
but I didn't think
I had a chance of getting in.
You're not wrong.
The acceptance rate is about 5%.
- 4.6%.
- 4.6%, yes.
But I got a surprise
for you, Honor.
Not many people know this,
but I have a connection there.
This gentleman right here,
Howie Kaplan,
my best friend from high school,
is a very successful
Harvard alumni.
Hedge fund guy.
Oh, wow, I had no idea.
I knew this in ninth grade.
We remained very close
even though we didn't go
to the same college.
We even started
our own a cappella group,
You've Got Scale.
AOL was big back then.
What's AOL?
Oh, my God.
Well, I could spin ya
some stories, Honor.
I would love to hear them.
Well, one time,
we went to Saint Louis
for an a cappella competition,
and Howie stole a phone
out of the hotel lobby.
No way.
Wild times, Mr. Calvin.
We were a crazy bunch
back then.
He did give the phone back,
but that doesn't matter.
But because Howie
and I are so close,
he likes to use
his influence to get
my best and brightest
student a good look
with the admissions people.
It's not a guarantee,
but it is a leg up.
As tenuous as it is,
this is my best bet.
That's why I got
some big news for you, Honor.
My goodness, you don't mean...
Oh, yes I do.
For a quarter of my life,
I've been working my ass off
for this moment.
You are
in my top four choices.

Wait, did you say top four?
Are you okay?
I'm just overwhelmed.
I mean, to think
I'm in the top four,
it's too much to hope for.
G, G
I'm tuning my G string
I've made
a serious miscalculation.
This creep thinks
he's in love with me.
I thought I was using that
to my advantage,
but fawning over him
wasn't enough.
He wants me to offer him
another incentive.
I'm so thrilled, Mr. Calvin.
Thank you so much
for considering me.
Oh, wait.
Where are you going?
Don't you want to see
who you're up against?
Oh, my God, no, no, no.
I don't want to get caught up
in some kind of competition
with my friends,
especially since...
I know you'll pick
the right person.
See ya.

I won't lie.
That was a setback,
but I didn't want him
to tell me who the competition
was for two reasons.
One, I don't need him to.
In this school
of underachieving losers,
there's only three people
it could be.
And two, when I leave them
on the side of the road,
I don't want him to suspect
I had anything to do with it.
I've worked too hard
and too long.
It's just another obstacle
to overcome.
Life gives other people lemons,
they make lemonade.
Life gives me lemons,
I sell them for a dollar
to some chump who doesn't
know I got them for free.
Well, I cannot
believe he's not
just giving it to you, Honor.
Posting sad face.
I don't have time
for self-pity.
Yeah, Emma,
no time for self-pity.
This semester's grades
are the last ones
to affect our grade point
for colleges,
so I've got to get them
to tank all of their classes
between now and midterms.
I thought you had the highest
grade point in our class.
No, no,
I'm either third or fourth.
Mm, yeah, that was my
thinking too, third or fourth.
Well, we know who one
of the top two is.

He's perfect.
Loser, I mean.
Perfect loser.
She's right.
Travis is perfect.
Captain of the lacrosse team,
beautiful girlfriend,
and maintains
a perfect grade point.
He clearly doesn't
get distracted easily.
Talia, how long have Christine
and Travis been together?
Since sophomore year.
I remember because...
I trust you.
See if you can find out
what they're doing.
Maybe he's not
getting what he wants.
But who do we ask?
If something's going on,
she's the type to brag about it.
And if nothing's going on,
she's the type
to brag about that.
What about the other two?
She has to be one, right?
Kennedy Park.
The girl is in her own world,
wears costumes to school.
Today she's dressed
as Marie Curie,
the scientist
who discovered radium.
I only know that
because she posts
about it on Facebook.
What kid uses Facebook anymore?
Look, she's got two likes
on the photo.
One's her mother,
and one's her grandmother.
Even our history teacher
didn't recognize it.
But she's also,
unfortunately, brilliant.
What are we gonna do
about her?
Get her a boyfriend.
First off, we'll sweep up
the cobwebs out of her cooter.
- Sorry.
- Sorry.
We'll focus.
Last and least...
My bad.
Michael Dipnicky,
top of the class,
as nerd as nerd gets.
No friends, no life,
and no lunch.
That one will be easy.
Find out about Christine.
I'm going to try and get
Kennedy a date for the prom.
She's totally into you.
Probably wouldn't be hard
to talk her into anything.
Talk her into staying away.
I know it's hard to believe,
but I've seen her
in the locker room.
It's like buried treasure.
It's not all about looks.
I know.
And also, I don't believe you.
Well, look at it this way,
once you lose your virginity,
the second time,
you can trade up.
I'm not a virgin.
Oh well.
I can't fight upstream
against the limited range
of aesthetic appreciation
in teenage boys.
I'm sure later in life,
she'll find some man who thinks
that "The Addams Family"
is the best he can do,
but if he's at this school,
he's got a few more years
of lonely jacking off
before he's ready.

No, it won't be a boy
that distracts Kennedy.
Hey, Kennedy.
How's it going?
- It's private.
- I didn't ask you anything.
I'm telling you ahead
of time that this is private.
Okay, I got to put a pin in this
and move on to the sure thing.
Dipnicky, he's been easy
to read for four years.

The signals animals
give one another.
Oh, he definitely
gave me signals.
He doesn't want me specifically.
He wants any girl,
fantasizing about some porn star
showing up and teaching him
where to put it.
It won't take much
to throw him off.
Hey, Diesel.
Hey, Honor.
Hey, do me the honor?
Do me, Honor.
God, you're so clever.
Hey, would you mind switching
lab partners with me?
I get it.
You want to be my lab
partner, all right.
No, no, I want
to switch lab partners.
It doesn't make any sense.
You're gonna be partners
with dipshit.
I know.
I am doing it for Talia.
She is totally into you.
All right.
Say less, Honor.
See you later, douchebag.
I'ma go get some chemistry
for good, baby.

What's up, girl?
I hope you're okay with this.
I've been having some trouble
in chemistry,
and Talia talks
through the whole class.
Yeah, um...
if academic success
is your main focus,
then I would seem
to be a more viable option.
Today, we're gonna be
talking about bonding.
We're gonna form
chemical bonds using heat.
The signals.
Sheesh, boy,
is that my girl right there?
Looking good today.
Did you tell Diesel
that I liked him?
'Cause he's been all over me.
No, of course not.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
What did you find out
from Christine?
Oh, it was actually
kind of sweet.
He said he wants
to save himself for marriage.
O-M-G, that's so romantic.
I know!
Hmm, look at Travis.
Boobs right in his face.
Those are great teenage boobs.
And he's avoiding them.

Oh, my goodness.

You know
when you're doing a puzzle
and you're trying
to find just one piece
that fits, seems like forever,
and then, finally, you find it,
but then you're just looking
for the next piece,
and the process seems endless.
And then suddenly,
you see the picture.
I hate cliches,
but two birds are
about to get their skulls
crushed with one stone.
Articulation comes
from the tip of the tongue,
the teeth, end of the lips.
Meow, meow, meow.
- Meow.
- Meow
Dead puppies,
dead puppies, dead puppies.
Dead puppies,
dead puppies, dead puppies.
Dead puppies, dead puppies,
dead puppies, dead puppies.

The theater club,
a place people go
when they don't feel welcome
anywhere else.
Hey, Ms. Felson.
what are you doing here?
I want to join.
Aw, senior year?
Little late.
You remember Gary.
He's the coyote, and this is
his little barren patch
of desert.
I really want
to work behind the scenes:
Set design, lighting, whatever.
Oh, my God.
Wait, it is so great
that you're joining.
We could always use
behind-the-scenes people.
I'm really happy you're here.
I've always thought
that we should be friends.
Oh, and on Saturdays,
some of us go bowling,
but we don't invite everyone.
Got it.
Bowling with the theater kids,
who the hell
even knows what that is?
Hey, Kennedy.
Okay, attention, everyone.
Attention, please.
The stage is yours.
All right now, although
I'm the faculty advisor,
you know I don't like
to throw my weight around.
The two choices
are "Spring Awakening"
and Kennedy's play.
Okay, thank you, Ms. Felson.
Great nurturing.
Great nurturing.
Okay, so everyone,
show of hands.
"Spring Awakening."
Okay, yeah, I think
that is a majority.
Oh, Kennedy, I'm really sorry.
Maybe next year.
Oh, that's right,
you're graduating.
Maybe college.
Okay, so sign-ups for auditions
will be posted tomorrow,
but everybody
who is already in the club
gets priority casting.
All right, let's go, everyone.
Curtain's up in three weeks.
That is not much time.
Hey, Kennedy,
for what it's worth,
I thought your play was amazing.
You didn't read it.
Of course I did.
You posted about it online.
If you read it, what's it about?
The play is
about Queen Mary I of England,
how she got
the nickname Bloody Mary
by executing Protestants,
and how she was forced to choose
between love and power.

You did read it.
I did read it.
You're the only person who's
ever read one of my plays.
Haven't your parents
read them?
Okay, that's sad.
Well, I think
we should get the theater club
to put your play on.
Yeah, right.
Good luck with that.
I make my own luck,
and that is
a great Edith Cavell costume.
Wartime nurse,
executed for spying.
You posted it on Facebook.

Poor girl,
so ignored and so used to it.
I suppose
I should be sympathetic,
but as I always say,
you can't spell sympathetic
without pathetic.
I won't interfere, Honor.
It's a student-run club.
Don't you like
"Spring Awakening"?
I love it.
It's just that I loved
Kennedy's play that much more.
Did you read it?
Of course.
Wasn't it wonderful?
She's got such a unique voice,
and I just thought,
if we did her play,
it would have been a great way
to show Kennedy
that she's appreciated,
even though she's not popular.
You know, girls who don't
have a lot of friends,
who the boys ignore
must be so painfully lonely.
Women like us, we can't
even know what that's like.
No, no.
I think you might be
feeding it too much.
Oh, my goodness.
Oh, honey, oh.
Miss Felson says we have
to do Kennedy's play now.
- What?
- What the hell?
What happened?
Okay, we can all bitch...
We can bitch later, all right?
But we need to hold auditions,
and we're already behind.
- May I?
- Yes, Honor?
Well, we could save some time
if we offered the role
of the Duke to Travis Biggins.
- What?
- Oh, the romantic lead.
Why don't we just flush
the whole production
down the toilet?
That guy gets cheered every
time he walks on a field.
Why do we need
to give him more attention?
Well, 'cause we'd be getting
ourselves more attention.
I mean, the girls love him.
He's friends with everybody.
Captain of the lacrosse team
might bring in
a whole new audience.
- You mean assholes?
- I don't judge people.
This is ridiculous.
He's never done theater,
and we're gonna
give him the lead?
Come on, Gary.
We can't just ignore our craft.
Oh, get off it, Todd.
You've been in three plays
your entire life,
two of them as Captain Hook.
You're not actually
considering this.
Well, we want
as big an audience
as possible, don't we?
And wouldn't it
be nice to do a play
for people besides the arts
kids and our parents?
I had a feeling Gary
might be open to this.
If I'm right about Travis,
Gary's probably known him
longer than I have.
These are all pieces
of the puzzle.
You'll begin to see
the full picture shortly.
Kennedy, what do you think?
Poor girl.
With no warning at all,
for the first time in her life,
someone asked her opinion.
What do you think
about Travis playing the Duke?
Uh, I don't know.

Who's Travis?
Okay, Honor?
Honor, you're probably
the only person in this room
who's ever spoken to him.
Will you ask him?
In, out.
In, out, in.
I don't know, guys.
I've never really done
any acting before, so...
Oh, don't worry.
I'll help you.

This is very delicate.
I need Travis in this play,
but Gary has something
that I don't have,
a penis.
Travis, say good night
to your boyfriend
and come get on all fours.
I gotta go, guys.
First cast meeting
is tomorrow!
Line it up.
Let's go.
I've always wondered,
do you think Travis is...
Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay.
- Let's go.
- Gay.

Now, at this stage
of the experiment,
it's really important
to pay attention to the heat.
Keep your eye on it.
Like a Weeping Angel.
Oh, nothing.
Weeping Angels are these aliens
in "Doctor Who."
If you look away from them,
they'll kill you.
Yeah, I know.
I just can't believe
you watch "Doctor Who."
I'm sorry.
Don't make fun of me.
No, no, no, I'm a fan.
I don't make fun of people.
Who's your favorite doctor?
both: Matt Smith.

Oh... ah!
Michael, I'm sorry.
- I'm so sorry.
- That's my fault.
No, that was mine.
That was mine.
We have a quiz tomorrow.
This little encounter plus
what I have planned for tonight
is the first wave
of my campaign.
You see, the day Michael
became my lab partner,
he requested to follow me on,
like, everything.
I didn't jump to welcome him in,
but I know he's just waiting to
see all the hot pics I've got.
That's not ego.
That's just a statement of fact.
Now, I tap this button,
and I picture
Michael sitting alone
in his nerd cave
at his computer,
studying for the midterm,
when he gets a notification.

And instead of studying,
he spends the evening
tugging his slug.
Any girl who doesn't think
that's what goes on
when a guy hits her up online
is kidding herself.
Beth, my favorite student.
You coming to my next show?
They don't card, okay?
All right.
Guys, come on.
I'm gonna call your mom
and tell her you do drugs.
Hey, no take backs!
No take backs!
You want to hear some sick-ass
acoustic rock or what... no.
'Sup, player,
you gonna come see my Dua Lipa,
Ted Nugent mash-up, or what?
- Hi.
- Hey, hi.
Whoa, ah, ah, ah.
Classic us.
You missed my big gig last week.
Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Calvin.
I've had a lot of work.
Well, you are in luck
because I got
another one coming up.
Bam, Sunday night.
Be there.
Ooh, I don't know.
Well, you don't wanna...
You don't wanna
disappoint me, do you?

I'm just kidding.
You couldn't disappoint me,
unless you disappoint me.
I'll be there.
And I will get you backstage
after the show.
God, I'm gonna keep paying
for the fact
I thought he was harmless.
This looks like
a kid's Cinderella costume.
Sleeping Beauty.
Some kid wore them
for Halloween,
and their parents donated them.
These aren't the least bit
historically accurate.
They're also awful.
Well, it's not like
anyone's giving us
any money to buy
or even rent new ones,
so we're stuck with these.
It's too bad.
They do such a disservice to
the authenticity of the play.
We're not using these.
They'll ruin everything.
What choice do we have?
Yeah, I mean, it's not like
we can make new ones.

- I can.
- Hm?
I can make historically
accurate costumes.
I do it all the time.
Well, yeah,
but not for a whole play
that's in like three weeks.
What about your schoolwork?
This is more important.
Starting to see the puzzle?
Okay, yes,
this is fine with me,
but we need to get going
with auditions,
and I think we're gonna need
to find another Duke, okay?
Nah, I don't think so.

Hey, guys.
What's up?
Well, what are
you waiting for?
Get your beautiful butt in here.
We got work to do.
All right, everyone,
gather round.
I don't know
if any of you have
ever baked bread from scratch.
I used to do it
with my mom all the time.
You have the recipe.
You measure out the ingredients,
follow the instructions.
Still, if it's the first time
you're making that bread,
you have no idea
if it's gonna be delicious,
let alone edible.
Well, I think this bread
is going to be outstanding.

It's obviously not a
completely accurate recreation
of Mary's coronation gown,
but it's as close
an approximation
as I could make.
It's amazing, Kennedy.
But, um, you look exhausted.
This is how I always look.
All right, everybody.
I need your essay assignments.
Please, pass them forward.
- That was due today?
- Yeah.
Maybe you could turn it in late.
Do people do that?

- Here you go.
- Thanks.

What did you get
for number six?
Hmm, that's the last quiz
before the midterm.
So going back
to the bread metaphor,
I think this dough needs
a little more yeast.
Hey, Michael, I was wondering,
what are you doing tonight?

I know it's a big pain
in the ass,
but would you be willing
to study with me?
I've been having some trouble
with the laws
governing chemical bonds.
Yeah, sure.
That sounds... sure.

You're probably wondering,
"How far is she willing to go?"
The answer is not far
because I won't have to.
Is Honor here?
Hi, Michael.
Okay, thanks, Dad.
Come in.
It's nice to meet you, sir.
I like Burger Land a lot.
So covalent bonds
are transferred electrons.
No, actually,
um, they're shared.
- Right.
- Ionic are transferred.
Right, right.
Yeah, for some reason, I just...
I can't keep that straight.

Oh, this pen is out.

Ugh, this one's no good.

You know,
you might break the tip off.
Oh, just one more.

So how'd you do
on that quiz yesterday?
I did okay.
I just squeaked
through myself.
do you really need help
with chemistry?
What do you mean?
I just feel like you're
pretending not to know stuff
that you already know.
I'm not.
I really do need help.
I saw an A
on your quiz paper today.
Look, I'm sorry
I wasn't open with you.
I just... I think
you're really smart,
and sometimes, I feel kind
of stupid around you.
Most people do.
I don't think
people feel stupid around me.
I think people are just stupid
on their own.
You know you're smart.
This is a great book.
You've read it?
You know, I guess a part of it
just feels kind of relatable.
Feeling trapped
by your own society.
Kind of wishing
for that better life.
God, if I can just get
through this year.

Knock, knock.
Here's some hot chocolate
and pecan zucchini bread
for you workaholics.
- Thanks, Mom.
- Thanks, Mrs. Rose.
tell me about yourself.
What do your parents do?
Mom, we're studying.
Well, he has a minute to talk.
Maybe I know his mother.
I don't think you do.
Sorry, this is delicious.
We'll study
at your house next time.
I mean, we're not going to get
snacks like that at my house.
See, Honor?
It's not so bad here.
So, Michael...
We have to get back to work.
All right, all right.
Well, enjoy your snack.
- Your mom seems nice.
- She's terrible.
- All right, give it to me.
- Oh.
- Come on.
- All right, it's right here?
Follow him home?
Yes, I need you
to find out where he lives.
I have the feeling he was
trying to hide something.
And I can't do it
because I have play rehearsal.
No, you don't have to explain.
Whatever you need,
I'm here for you.
See you guys later.
Love you.
Both: Mean it.
Here you go.
Hey, boys, catch that?
Wow, this is
really nice, Kennedy.
I couldn't find the right
upholstery for the throne,
but the hydraulic lift
will be a showstopper, so...
- Hydraulic?
- I'll show you later.
I can't believe you have
the time for all this.
I don't.
If I fail English,
it's all because of you.
Well, I'm not sure
that that's my responsibility.
It was a joke.
- Yeah, I know.
- I'm super funny.
Okay, breathe with me.
Now, let's try this again.
I'm the rightful ruler
of England.
I'm not going to walk away
from what this throne
will give me.
But, Mary, I love you.
Now, take her in your arms.

Do you love
the throne more than me?
Men don't have to choose
between love and power.
Why must a woman?
No, no, no, Grace, come on.
Throw yourself
into his embrace, okay?
You love this guy, okay?
You'd let him do anything
to you, even butt stuff.
Come on.

Men don't have to choose
between love and power.
Why must a woman?
Oh, my God, no, come on.
Get out of my way.
Okay, now, watch this.

Men don't have to choose
between love and power.
Why must a woman?

life gives you lemons,
and sometimes life
just hands you a lemonade
with a really cute umbrella
sticking out of it
and a mini biscotti
on the side, no charge.

What is this?
The stupid fucking asshole show?
- Oh, shit.
- Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.
It's just my ego and my coccyx.
Did you just say
you broke your cock?
No, it's coccyx.
It's the bottom
of your backbone.
All right, then,
Romeo, you got practice.
Sorry, dad.
I got to go, man, sorry.
Mind your business, slut.

Ew, this place is so cringey.
Yeah, I can't believe
he lives here.
If we're kidnapped
or murdered,
they'll know where we were last
based on that cell tower.
It was
on a "True Crime" podcast.
Come on, hopefully,
he lives on this street,
and we can go home and...

Where'd he go?
I don't know.
I'll stop time for you
The second you'd say
you'd like me to

I just want to give you the
loving that you're missing
Baby, just
to wake up with you
Would be everything I need
And this could
be so different
Tell me what you want to do
'Cause I know I can
treat you better
Better, better,
better than he can
Thank you so much.
And a special shout-out
to one special girl.
This one's also
for you, blondie.
Hey, how about
I buy you a drink?
No, thanks.
Nothing I can get you?

Well, actually,
you do have something I want.
What's that?
Those roofies you were
going to put in the drink
you were going to buy me.
I wasn't going...
Ah-ah-ah, and them over.
I'm underage,
so you want to do what I say,
and then get the hell away
from me as fast as you can.
Stole my heart and soul
Rohypnol, roofies.
Serious stuff.
I had no proof
he was gonna drug me.
I was just taking
my father's advice,
which he gives me
at every opportunity.
Never take
a drink from a strange guy.
Guys are assholes.
They're worse than assholes.
They are the stank on assholes,
even the nice ones.
That's why you're mine

Thanks for the beer, Honor.
How'd you get the bartender
to give you one anyways?
Oh, I said it was for you.
Well, you are so grown-up
they'd probably give it
to you anyways.
They probably thought
we were a couple, you know?
Because we look like
we're the same age.
You are so much more mature.
Yeah, but I have
to be a tight-ass at work,
you know what I mean?
I come here,
and I get on that stage,
and I cannot control
my younger self.
He just wants to burst out.
He just wants to rock on,
you know?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was wild.
It was crazy though, right?
I enjoy making music
for you, Honor.

I am gonna give you
a ride home, little lady.
Oh, Mr. Calvin, are you okay?

I didn't like doing that.
Stuff's scary.
But I couldn't risk
el creep-o making a move.
He seemed fine,
just really drowsy.

I put him somewhere safe.
Is he dead?
If he was dead,
he wouldn't be snoring.
Hi, we're live,
and we're helping
the economically disadvantaged
and it makes me feel so good.
We love the economically
So you didn't find out
where Dipnicky lives.
Somewhere on the other side
of the factory.
Yeah, it was so gross.
Em, you're still live.
Damn it.
That tells me
a little something.
Maybe why he doesn't want
to study at his house.
a struggling family in the city
isn't exactly uncommon.
I need you guys
to do something for me.
It's much more important.

- Yo, let's get a sandy, huh?
- I'm in.

You guys have
such great boyfriends.
I'm so jealous.
Diesel's not my boyfriend.

I mean, in comparison
to Travis and Christine,
I mean,
there's just no comparison.
Yeah, they're meant to be.
Well, I just know
that he loves me.
Wow, I'm so glad
you're so confident.
If Diesel was making out
with other girls on stage,
I wouldn't know how to take it.
Yeah, if Diesel was making
out in front of everybody,
it would be so humiliating
to Talia.
- But he isn't.
- But it would be.
Travis is, uh,
making out in the play?
Who with?
She's playing the queen.
Yeah, she's cute,
but she's not
as beautiful as you.
Yeah, and Travis wouldn't go
for someone that slutty.
Bestie selfie!

My girlfriend wants me
to quit the play.
As I said, Talia and Emma
are not completely useless.
What's her problem?
She doesn't want me
making out with Grace.
Well, then
we'll just recast her.
Kennedy, text Grace she's out.
I don't have her number.
I don't have anyone's number.
Who the hell can we get this
late who can learn the part?
Well, it doesn't matter.
I mean,
she's gonna have a problem
with me kissing any girl.
Well, what are we going to do?
Well, I'm not giving up.
I'll be honest with you, Travis,
I really didn't think
you were gonna work out,
but you're really good
in this part.
Thanks, but it's just as well.
I mean, I have a couple
big midterms coming up,
and between practice
and the play,
my grades have
already taken a hit.
I have to time
this just right.
We have to pack it in.
I mean, we can't recast anyway.
The only one who knows
the part well enough
is you, Gary.
That's a great idea.
Gary should play Mary.
It would be an homage
to the Elizabethan tradition
of men portraying women.
Oh, my God,
check out the unexpected assist
from Kennedy.
They grow up so fast.
Wait, but wouldn't people...
No offense,
but I feel like this is
not usually like what they do.
Well, it might be a little
controversial around here,
and that'll get people
to show up.
I won't do it if you're
not comfortable with it.
Well, I mean,
it kind of fixes my problem.
I mean,
Christine's not gonna think
I'm cheating with you, right?
- Right.
- Right.
Song club's over, Travis!
You've got practice!
Sorry, Dad, I'm coming.
Come on now!
Hup, two, come on, let's go!
Let's go.
Okay, who's down for bowling?
Sounds fun, but I can't.
Kennedy, what about you?
I... I...
I don't know how to bowl.
I'll teach you.
It'll be glorious.
Fine, but I'm not wearing
those gross bowling shoes.
Okay, come on,
we're all wearing
the gross bowling shoes.
A social dividend for Kennedy.
She deserves it.
Oh, hey, Mr. Calvin.
Great show last night.
Uh, you came
to my show, right?
Yeah, yeah,
it was so much fun.
And thanks for driving me home.
Oh, good.
Okay, I got you home?
Of course you did.
Looks like you had a wild night.
Stole some phones from some
lobbies and gave them back?
Yeah, wild.

Wow, that stuff
really screws you up,
but back to priorities.

All right, let's do this.

I have to admit,
it's hard for me
to accept I haven't been enough
to distract him.
I really need
to get the upper hand.

Hi, guys.
It looks nice.
How was school?
How did you do on your test?
- I did okay.
- Yeah?
I got a treat for you.
- It'll be great.
- Uh-oh.
Oh, yeah, chocolate cake.
I know you love it.
Yeah, yeah.

Good day on the grill, Dad?
- Today was deliveries.
- Oh.
Hey, is that nerd coming
to study with you again?
- He's not a nerd.
- All right, all right.
I don't care.

I'm not obsessed
with him or anything,
just trying to figure him out.
- Honor, Michael's here!
- Okay, thanks!
- Hi.
- Hi.
- What?
- Nothing.
All right, well,
midterm is only in a few days.
We should probably get to work.
Uh, right.
Yeah, of course.
Let's get to work.
Something's wrong.
Nothing's wrong.
Are you sure?
"I wait.
"I compose myself.
"Myself is the thing
I must now compose,
"as one composes a speech.
"What I must present
is a made thing,
not something born."
It goes both ways.

You followed me home?
I wanted to know
what you were hiding.

I don't really like
telling people this.

I can keep a secret.

I live in a foster home.
That's my mom, my foster mom.
- I'm so sorry.
- No, don't, don't.
Don't worry about it.
Seriously, she's the best.
she can't really afford
to send me to college,
so we should probably get
back to work
because I need a scholarship,
and preferably one
for a good enough school,
so I don't have to come back
to this shit hole.
Yeah, if you come back here,
you'll be trapped.
You'll be ugly
and forgotten like this town.
Yeah, you get it.
I do.

Knock, knock.
I've got some hot chocolate
and Polish babka.
It's like
a Jewish chocolate bread.
Sounds delicious, Mrs. Rose.
So how's it going?
No funny business, I hope.
Mom, we're studying.
Well, all right.
Uh, no funny business.
Mary, your life is in danger.
I must spirit you
away from England.
Oh dear, sweet Philip,
don't you see?
This is who I am.
I won't let them take what I've
strived for my entire life.
I have worked too hard
and too long.
Well, what of us?

The world is not ready
to accept our love.

Gary is such a good actor.

Okay, let's take five,
Got it.
That's really cool.
Travis needs
to work on his accent.
Well, I hope a lot
of people get to see it anyway.
Well, the livestreaming will
have a pretty big audience.
After we cast Gary
in the role of Mary,
I contacted
a few LGBTQ+ organizations.
One of them offered
to provide the equipment
and website hosting.
They get like 10,000 visitors
to their website every day.
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
Hey, Kennedy.
Ooh, I love the top,
the flowers.
They're just everywhere.
Mr. Calvin asked me
to let you know
that he wants
to see you in his office.
Thank you.
So I heard him saying
that he was looking for her,
and I volunteered
to come and tell you.
You know what it's about?
Um, he didn't say,
but he seemed
like super serious.
Love you.
Mean it.

Um, Honor, can I talk
to you for a second?
Uh, sure, yeah.
That was a great scene.
Yeah, that was really fun.
It was actually really fun.
Something wrong?
No, not really.
I just, um...
Everything okay
with you and Christine?
Yeah, no, it's perfect.
We're perfect.
It's all perfect, you know?
We're doing sex stuff, you know?
Are you having trouble
with the play?
No, no, no, no, no.
No, the play
has actually been, like,
a really amazing thing
in my life.
I feel like it's been hard
for me to really concentrate
on anything else.
That could be bad
for your grades.
Oh, I don't care about that.
See, it's like the play,
not even in the play,
but just around the play,
I feel like
I'm finally getting to be me
for the first time.
It's weird.
That sounds like
it's a good thing.
Yeah, no it is.
It's a good thing.
It's definitely a good thing.
I just... I don't think
my dad would like it very much.
Like what?
I just don't think
he'd like me being me.
Travis, I...
Oh, there you are, Hamilton.
I hate going to lunch
without you.
So what are you two doing
out here holding hands
like you're a couple?
Oh, I was just helping Travis
with the scene from the play.
Yeah, she was
just helping me with a scene
from the play.
I think you just have to go
with your instinct, Travis.
It's served you
pretty well up till now.
Thank you.
Like, really thank you
for your, uh, help.
I mean, that's
the only B I've ever gotten,
and, you know, it's...
Once the play is over,
then I know that I'll be able
to get them back up.
It's okay.
You haven't done
any permanent damage.
Hey, Kennedy.
Hey, Mr. Calvin.
Hey, Honor.
Oh, see now, Kennedy,
you can take some lessons
from Honor here.
She knows how to juggle
a lot of balls.
All right, just remember
what I said, you two.
We'll never forget.
What was that all about?
My teachers told him
they were worried about me.
My grades have really slipped,
so he called my parents.
I'm really sorry, Kennedy.
I feel like
it's kind of my fault.

What's the matter?
You changed my fucking life.


What are you doing here?
Come on.
You're gonna laugh.
I'm not.
When I was a kid,
I used to take
this route home from school.
I'd pretend that my parents
were still alive
and that they lived
on this street,
and they were just waiting
for me to come home.
It's weird, I know.
It's not weird.
You wanna see my favorite one?
It's really nice on the inside.
- You've been inside?
- All the time.
I stalked this family for years.
Come on.
Let's go!
These steps toward faith,
I can't imagine it
Pack my suitcase up
till I can't bear it
Who am I without
this weight on my shoulder?
Oh, God, I'm dying to know,
but how dare you want more?
Come on.
They usually have like a
gazillion sodas in the fridge.
- Wait, usually?
- Yeah.
Oh, my God.
we're gonna drown it out
- Michael!
- What?
They'll blame it on maid.
That's not okay.
I'm kidding.
- Cheers.
- Mm-hmm.

Care for a tour, ma'am?
I'd be delighted.
This way!
Thank you very much.
Please have a seat.
- Here you are.
- Thank you.
Well, this is
our morning room.
It's where we study
in the mornings.
What do we do
in the afternoon?
Well, we retire
to the afternoon room,
where we punish our servants
and count our money.
Who are you?
I have a special treat.
- Okay.
- It's not weird, I promise.
we're gonna drown it out
Time for the evening concert.
That one there,
that's an original.
- Oh.
- No, it's not.
This though, do you play?
- No.
- I've taken a few lessons.
I keep on falling
In and out of love with you
I never loved someone
The way that I love you

Oh, crap, out the back.
Seriously, right now.
Come on.
We're good.

I'll see you tomorrow.

I have no choice.
I must secure my throne.
Very well, Your Highness,
but I must remind you,
the Duke is a Protestant.
Do you wish to put him
to death as well?

Biggins, you got
to shimmy it to the back.
- I'm shimmying, already.
- Try harder.
Is this really worth it?
I get paid $12 an hour.
I spent $3 on that granola bar.
Yeah, it's worth it.
There she is.
So, Honor, midterms tomorrow.
Got a plan?
- Pivot it.
- Pivot to the left.
Michael is going to come
over to study tonight.
Tomorrow, he won't
know what hit him.
Oh, my God.
You don't think
she's gonna like...
Oh, no.
They've got nothing
to worry about.
I'm not going to sleep
with Michael.
I can't.
I mean, I'm not sure
it would throw him off
that much anyway.
He's too sharp, too smart.
And frankly, sleeping
with him would throw me off.
I'm a virgin.

Maybe you're surprised,
but have you seen anyone
around here who's worth it?
I've got to get out of here,
so I've got to play dirty.
I'm a bitch.
You're a fucking bitch!
Christine, what the hell?
Travis broke up with me,
and he said
he isn't seeing anyone else,
but I know he is,
and I know it's you!
Okay, okay, Christine.
It's not me.
I'm gonna kick your ass!
Okay, Christine.
You bitch!
I am going to kill you!
Can we talk about this?
Because I really...
I don't wanna fight.
Well, you should've
thought about that
before you stole my boyfriend.
You remember
I took karate, right?
Ah, ah!
Christine, oh, my God.
What the hell?
It's her.
I know it's her.
It's not her, okay?
It's not her.
Okay, well, then who
the hell else could it be?
Who else is as hot as I am, huh?


You mean...
What, what?
What does he mean?
Tell us, tell us.
you're a great girl.
Were you lying
when you said you masturbated
to my selfies every night?


Hold it.

Honor, that was like bad...
Are you okay?
The fight is posted
on Instagram,
Snapchat, and Facebook,
for the parents
and grandparents.
Wait, is Travis gay?

Oh, shit.
Guys, come on!
Oh, shit.
Dad, Dad, Dad,
I can explain, okay?
What the hell
is wrong with you?
Nothing is wrong with me.
I'm gay.
It's who I am.
I know you're gay.
I've known since you
were five years old.
She's the idiot for not knowing.
But that's not what
I'm talking about.
Wait, then what?
You're always late
for practice!
Oh, oh, oh, I'm sorry, Dad.
I swear after today,
I won't be late anymore, okay?
You better not be.
Five minutes!
Wait, go to practice.
- You stole my boyfriend!
- Oh...
Boyfriend... boyfriend.
I'm gonna kick your ass!
It's her... it's her...
Kick your ass... kick your ass!
You're a fucking bitch.
Whoa, no, that one could
have caused permanent damage.
Seriously, I mean, look at...
Mom coming in!
Doesn't sound like
much studying
is going on in here.
What kind of bread
is it this time?
Well, it's called
a German stollen.
It's kind of a fruit bread.
It's a new one every day.
Can't keep track.
Well, my baby
has high standards.

Yes, she does.
Thanks, Mrs. Rose.
You're welcome, Michael.

Back to your old nemesis,
covalent bonds.
In a way, I just know
I've seen her before
She carried me home
in a '94 Civic
Her face draws a line
as a way to get home
I hear her voice calling me,
calling me back
- Tired?
- Yeah.

Yeah, I think
we've studied enough.

maybe we shouldn't.
All right, yeah.
Why not?
Just maybe after the midterm.
We should probably
be fresh for tomorrow.
There's a lot riding
on it for both of us.

It'll all be different
tomorrow, won't it?

I tried to leave her
hiding, all strung up
I tried to keep her quiet
But she's screaming
inside of me
I tried to keep her hiding,
all shut up
I tried to keep her quiet,
but she's a wild, wild woman
She's a wild, wild woman
She's a wild, wild woman
I'm telling you,
she's a wild, wild woman
Oh, she's a wild,
wild woman


All right, everybody.
Time's up.

I don't need to care
what anyone thinks anymore.

I can't watch.
Neither can I.

It's so weird
to think it's all over.
Mm-hmm, yeah, it is.
How do you think you did?
How about you?
I don't know.
I think I might have
missed a couple.

He needed it more than I did.
It's weird, I'm free.
Free to like him.
Free to see where it goes.
Never had a boyfriend.
I'm good.
What you looking at, man?
I'm good.
Diesel is good, okay?
You did that on purpose.
See you later.
So what's the plan?
Yeah, we know
you're not serious about him.
Yes, there has to be a plan,
otherwise, whatever it is,
it takes huge balls.
I'm flattered,
but I just like him.
Do you... do you want us
to do anything?
Yeah, do you want me
to break up with Diesel now?
I mean, that's...
That's up to you.
Don't you like him?
Then don't do anything
on my account.

You guys have been
really great friends to me.
I never really told you that.
I could always rely on you.
You gave me a place
in high school.
And now I just want you
to be happy.

See ya.

That was really, like, sweet?

Rest your head
It's not so hard
to lay in bed
Let it wash over you
It seems colder knowing
that you are gone
So I'll relax my shoulders
I won't try to run
Into your cold
and blazing sun

Into your cold and blazing,
into your cold and blazing
You know, I was surprised
you didn't do better
on the chem midterm.
I guess I took on
too much this semester.
Yeah, I guess you did.
I mean, a whole bunch of you...
Travis Biggins, Kennedy Park,
all of your grades fell off.
Senior-it is, I guess.
Well, whatever it was,
it allowed my fourth choice,
Dipnicky to pull ahead of you,
but, lucky you,
I don't make my final decisions
solely on grade point.
You, um, you came to my show,
which that meant a lot to me.
Actually, Honor,
you mean a lot to me.
Don't worry about
the age difference, okay?
You are so mature.
It is like you
are 17 on the outside,
but you are...
You're 30 on the inside.
- Mr. Calvin.
- Yeah.
Are you asking me
to sleep with you?
Well, uh,
I don't know if we'd be
doing a whole lot of sleeping.

Oh, that's too bad.
You see,
I'm still 17 on the outside,
so I really need my sleep.

Because I'm a child.
Bye, Mr. Calvin.

Guys, stop fighting.

- Hi.
- Hi.
Is Michael here?
Michael Dipnicky.
No, he's at my mom's work.
Oh, um...
could you tell me where that is?

Hi, Michael.
Come on in.
Well, hello.
Mom, this is Honor.
Well, it's nice
to meet you, Honor.
I've heard a lot about you.
Can you stay for dinner?
Um, no.
No, I have to get home.
Well, I hope you can
make it another time.
I don't understand.
You ran into me
the other day on my way home,
so I made up the story
about this house.
I figured the whole
breaking and entering thing
made me seem charming, roguish.
Girls always like that.
Hey, kids.
You want a snack?
No thanks, Sally.
You wanted me
to follow you home.
That's why you said you
didn't want to study there.
You wanted to lead me
to her house.
Well, I noticed Talia
and Emma following me home,
so I led them
to that neighborhood,
but I lost them
because I needed you
to see it for yourself.

Mm, that's why I didn't
drag you in with me.
I had just enough time
to turn it over,
and I made you wait.
Girls like that too.
They usually have like a
gazillion sodas in the fridge.
Also, those pictures that
I threw around the kitchen,
they had me in them,
but you were too busy
watching me go wild.
By the way, thank you
for not using the roofie.
Of course, if you
had put it in the cocoa,
I would have needed to pretend
to accidentally spill it
all over your bed.
I guess you saved
yourself a cleanup.
"The Handmaid's Tale."
You had it with you.
It wasn't assigned
in any of our classes,
so I assumed it was important.
"Doctor Who" is real though.
Yeah, I love "Doctor Who."
I don't understand
how you knew
that I would do
what I did for you.
When I saw what you did
for Kennedy and Travis.
You could have used
any number of ways
to take them down,
but what you chose to do
showed you had a heart.
You could have destroyed
them the minute
you found out Travis was gay
and when Kennedy
became your friend.
I didn't want Mr. Calvin
to know that I...
Calvin wouldn't have cared.
The guy is in love with you.
No, you did what you did
because you cared about them.
I just needed
to get you to care about me.
I... I did care about you.
I know.

So you've just been pretending
to be a nerd all these years?
I am a nerd.
That doesn't mean
I'm a good person.
Look, a girl like
you doesn't fit in,
you can pretend to be
as shallow as those who do.
A guy like me doesn't fit in,
well, I am not
good-looking enough
to really have a say
in the matter.
Hate sports.
Everybody at that school either
wants to ignore or abuse me,
so I stopped trying
to be liked by them.

And what about me?

I want to go to Harvard.

- Hey.
- Hey.
Do you need any help?
Wanna grab some dough?
So what's going on
with that boy, Michael?
We're done.
Well, that's good.
I mean, there was
something off about him,
something not genuine.
What's so funny?
I wish
you'd told me that before.
Well, I kept interrupting
your study sessions
hoping you'd get the point.
I'm sorry, honey.
It's okay.
Don't let the bastards
grind you down, huh?
That's from
"The Handmaid's Tale."
Yeah, I gave it to you.
You never give me credit
for anything.
- Marvin?
- Dad?
Okay, yeah, yeah, slow down.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down.
Yeah, there you go.
I finished!
I finished!
- This is...
- Oh, yeah!
You are the best, buddy!
See you Monday, Pat!
You got it, Marvin.
See you Monday.
Oh, yeah, whoo!
Yeah, oh.
I'd like to thank
the Academy of Trees
for making all this wood.
My gazebo!
You see, Tiger, it's
like Kenny Rogers said,
when you put your heart in it,
it can take you anywhere.
Oh, yeah, come to daddy.
Look at it.
- Wow.
- Isn't it amazing?
Oh, I can't believe
it's finally done.

All right, bitches,
I'm timing two minutes
for the drama.
Who are these kids?
They're my friends.
Hello, princess, where
the hell have you been?
We were setting up
for the dress rehearsal,
and no one could find you.
We were really worried.
So worried, I rode in a Jeep
that smells like sweaty balls.
Okay, what's your excuse,
The curtain's up in two hours.
Yeah, I...
I don't know if I'm
gonna do the show.
I'm sorry,
crazy person says what?

Kennedy can work the cues.
You'll be great.

If you're not going,
I'm not going.
It's as much yours as mine.

Okay, whatever your personal
drama is can wait.
You have to help me get
into my dress.
Go, go, come on, get in.
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
Thanks, Honor's mom and dad.
Nice deck!

Is she in a play?
I don't know.

I demand to see the queen.
The queen will
be here in moments.
She has ordered your death.
She wouldn't.
She loves me.
What wouldn't I do, Phillip?
All: Her Royal Highness.
Why have you brought him here?
Well, I thought perhaps
if you saw him...
I have made my choice.
Mary, my love.

Follow my command.

Follow, follow
Follow my
Oh, did I forget
to mention it was a musical?
Did you think
I would be swayed
by the stars?
For I come from Venus,
not from Mars
Well, big mistake
I won't break, bid farewell
to my juicy cake
What a queen
I have no time
for charity
I'm pissing on popularity
When the sun hits the shore,
then it's war
You'll be canceled
I'm the legendary
Bloody, Bloody Mary
Glorious, glorious
Glorious, glorious
End my days
Spare me a broken heart
I loved you from the start
Was I a fool, dear?

Men don't have to choose
between love and power.
Why must a woman?
I knew there was a reason
I liked this play.

I thought I was Bloody Mary.
No one was going
to know who I really was,
and nothing was going to stand
in the way of my success.
I wanted to get away
from this town, but really,
the only thing I was
trying to escape was me.
I didn't want to show people
who I really am
because I didn't want
to get hurt,
and I did.
I got hurt.
But I also discovered that
the people who are worth it,
you'll love them,
and they'll love you back.

Who am I now?
Still to be determined,
but I'll be fine.
We are in the middle
of a meeting right now.
Oh, this will
only take a minute.
Hi, Michael.
Has he sent your recommendation
to Harvard yet?
- I...
- No, no, no, no, not yet.
Because I think you
might want to reconsider.
Mr. Calvin,
are you asking me
to sleep with you?
Why, I don't know if we'd be
doing a whole lot of sleeping.
That's not what it sounds like.

Honor, you know
that you were always
my first choice, right?
Oh, thanks, but I don't
want you to recommend me.
Harvard is where all
the Kennedys went,
so I want you
to recommend our Kennedy.
Uh-huh, yeah.

Bye, Michael.

Like I said, I'll be fine.
Now loving is easy,
you had me fucked up
It used to be
so hard to see
Now loving is easy,
everything's perfect
Please don't change
a single little thing for me
Now, listen, boy
When you can't
even hide it
- Cheers, bitches.
- Thank you.
And it didn't take
forever to find it
I was on my own
Almost glad to be alone
until love came in
On time, on time
Now loving is easy,
you had me fucked up
It used to be so hard
to see
Now loving is easy
Everything's perfect
Please don't change
a single little thing for me
Oh, ah
- Hi, Mom.
- It's an alarm.
I don't know how that happened.
Ah, ah
Meow, meow, meow.
It's an art piece.
There's no dialogue.
Just bowling.
Dead puppies.

Listen, boy, ooh
You see,
it's like Kenny Rogers said...

You forgot.
Almost glad to be alone
until love came in
On time, on time
Now loving is easy
ET phone home.
Not from the St. Louis
Radisson, little man.
Where did all the students go?

Oh, God, ow.
Once you lose your virginity,
the second time...
You want to keep going?
That was the most forced
applause I have ever heard.
Song club is over, traffic.
You smell like fries.
I meant it as a compliment.
I just told you...
If it says mirror abort,
don't spill.
You got it.
Mirror... abort!
Yes, man, he had way more.
We were fricking... I, uh...
Let's go again.
Now loving is easy
Oh, my God.
Please don't change
a single little thing for me
Oh, ah, oh
Oh, ah
Work it!
And love you!
All: Mean it!
And that's when I knew
she wasn't the one.
Follow, follow
Follow my
Did you think
I would be swayed
by the stars?
For I come from Venus,
not from Mars
Well, big mistake,
I won't break
Bid farewell
to my juicy cake
What a queen
I have no time
for charity
I'm pissing on popularity
When the sun hits the shore,
then it's war
You'll be canceled
I'm the legendary
Bloody, Bloody Mary
Glorious, glorious
Glorious, glorious
- The legendary
- Follow my command
- #VeryScary
- Now
- She's the legendary
- I am Bloody Mary
- Glorious
- Glorious, glorious
Glorious, glorious
- Glorious
- Glorious
- Whoo!
- Glorious
And scene.