Hope Springs (2012) Movie Script
(INSECTS TRILLING)
(BREATHING DEEPLY)
(SIGHS)
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Come in!
(DOOR LATCHES LOUDLY)
What?
What are you doing?
I was just thinking that...
I could sleep in here tonight.
In here? Why? Something
wrong with your room?
Is it too warm? Because I had that
air conditioner completely...
No.
Well, then what?
I just wanted...
Oh. Well...
I don't...
(STAMMERS) Uh, I'm not feeling well...
I had pork for Iunch and I... Mmm-hmm.
I think it's probably best
if we just... If I...
Mmm-hmm. That's okay.
I mean, I...
I'll just go back.
(SIGHS)
(AIN'T LOVE SOMETHIN' PLAYING)
(ALARM BLARING)
# This is for
# The people holding hands
# And this is for the ones
# With broken hearts
# What I'm trying to explain
# Is in our Iives there'll come a day
# When we'll find those feelings
# Lost in the dark
Thank you. Mmm-hmm.
# The losin', the tryin'
# It's that crazy little thing
# That we call Iove
(FORK SCRAPING ON PLATE)
# And when it comes to you
# If I had to tell the truth
# About the mixed-up thoughts
# My mind's been thinkin' of
# It's Iike the sunshine
6:00? Mmm-hmm.
I'm making prime rib for our... Mmm-hmm.
# You bring me pleasure
# And you bring me pain
AII right. Bye!
# Ain't Iove somethin' #
Bye.
Think you can change your marriage?
Change your marriage?
What do you mean?
Like you mostly eat in on Fridays
and then you eat out?
Or that you're at each other's throats
and suddenly you're Cinderella
and Prince Charming.
The second one.
No. No.
You married who you marry,
you are who you are.
Why would that change?
Well, if you wanted it to.
No, I think for that to happen,
it would have to be so bad
that somebody was willing to risk everything
just to shake things up
and then it may not come down your way.
No, change is hard. Marriages
don't change.
Hey, what are you making tonight?
The kids still coming over?
Yeah. Prime rib.
(CHUCKLES) Oh, they are so beautiful!
Huh, Arnold? Just what we needed.
Mmm-hmm.
I picked them out.
Show-off.
So what'd you guys get each other?
Yeah, 31. What gift is that?
Silver? Ivory? Paper?
No, it isn't anything special.
Just an off year.
Oh! We got each other the
new cable subscription.
Oh, great.
It's a Iot of channels.
First of all, so many of
you are dealing with,
"Should I open the club face,
or should I do this?"
You can Iearn to break Iike this.
All he's doing is he's
taking the club back.
He doesn't have a Iot of
wrist hinge at all.
In fact, in the down-the-Iine view,
what his swing looks like is,
the head of the club is outside
of the hands here.
Very, very late wrist set.
He gets up into here, Iike this,
and then his body is moving forward
while the club is going backwards
and that's how you get this
real... (TURNS OFF TV)
Arnold.
(GRUNTS)
Turn off the air down here?
Mmm-hmm!
(STAIRS CREAKING)
Night. Good night.
# More, more, more, give me
# More, more
# More, more, more, give me
# More, oh
# More, more, more, give me
# More, more
# More, more, more, give me
# More, oh
# Open me up
# And what do you find?
# Broken heart
# And a dusty mind
# You can take your time
# But I'll never take mine
# Write your life down
# Then break the spine
# I'm taking it down
# Taking it down
# And turning it around
# Turning it around
# And making a sound
# Making a sound
# For the first time in my days
# Oh, how I
# Need you
# To need me
# Need it so, need it so, need it so bad
# And you
# You want to move
# Along with me
# Do you want, do you want
# To move along with me? #
DR. FELD: I can't tell you how many...
Shh! (TURNS DOWN VOLUME)
...questions I get on what constitutes
the perfect marriage.
I see couples who think their
marriages are over.
Who feel Iike it's impossible
to regain what they once had.
Well, it's not. It's not impossible.
And it's not too Iate
for anyone who truly wants
it and is willing to try.
(SIGHS)
Thank you. Mmm-hmm.
(SIGHS)
What are you... You eating?
No. I, I...
What? You're just going to sit there?
Okay.
What do we got?
I want to go.
"Dr. Bernard Feld, Center for Intensive
Couples Counseling."
You want to go to intensive
couples counseling?
In Maine. Maine.
Only half the day.
Rest of the day you can read,
or Iook around the town.
$4,000 for a week?
Well, it's intensive.
Have to be gold-plated.
Well, I paid for it.
How?
I used my C. D.
How'd you get access to your C. D?
I called Vince. Oh.
You called my office without
talking to me.
I made a reservation for us.
Well, cancel it.
I want to go.
Have you been to see Dr. Lesser?
Maybe this has something to do
with that hormonal thing.
I am not crazy, Arnold!
Well, then I don't know
what to say to you.
In all our years together, never have I...
Have you heard me ask for anything?
Excuse me? Did we not just get a new
refrigerator because you wanted...
That's not what I mean.
Well, you're a grown woman. You
can go anywhere you want to go.
But I'm not going.
So if you want to go to intensive couples
counseling all by yourself,
I'll see you when you get back.
Maybe I will.
AII right.
Maybe I will.
You're not going to get audited over $217.
Well, you're just not.
AII right! Call Terri to
make an appointment.
Yes, and thank you. Bye.
(GROANS)
VINCE: You know, Kay called
me. I meant to tell you.
That's nothing. She's just been
acting kind of off, is all.
Off? How? I don't know. Threatening me.
What does she want? Car?
Vacation, something?
No. Yeah, a vacation.
I'll tell you, when Susan
used to threaten me,
I did what we all want to do.
Head up to Brewsky's, not call,
come home Iate piss drunk,
a big "screw you."
You see how that worked out. Uh-huh.
If I had to do it again,
I'd be on it with flowers, a card,
dinner, maybe even a necklace.
I'd be in there Iike the Orkin
Man and kill that thing dead.
Maybe then I wouldn't be in a condo.
(DOG BARKING)
ARNOLD: The girl Iiked those best.
I told her how much you Iiked the ocean.
This is your boarding pass.
Oh, come on.
The flight Ieaves at 10:02 in the morning.
What is wrong with you? What
are you trying to do to us?
I want a real marriage again, Arnold.
A real marriage? This isn't real
after 31 years? This isn't real?
When's the Iast time that you touched me
that wasn't just for a picture?
When's the Iast time you kissed me?
I kiss you every day.
We're not 22 years old anymore,
things change.
I could be more... You know. I could...
Um, this is insane.
The flight Ieaves at 10:02 tomorrow.
I'm going to be on it.
Your supper's on the table.
You're not even... You're
not even gonna...
Aren't...
So if you're one of those people
that's looking for more distance,
well if you're doing this, guess
what? I don't like your chances.
(ALARM BLARING)
(GRUNTS)
(ALARM STOPS)
(SIGHS)
(CAR HORN HONKING)
Good morning.
Morning, ma'am. Let me take this for you.
Thank you.
Where we going today?
To the airport.
(ENGINE STARTS)
(GRUNTS)
(SIGHS)
I hope you're happy.
(YOU MAKE IT BETTER PLAYING)
# Another day
# You're doing fine
# Everything's okay
# Got all your ducks in line
How far is this place, anyway?
Only a couple of hours.
Couple of hours. That's enough
to put us in Canada.
I'm really glad you came, Arnold.
Yeah?
Well, you tell me that when we get Iost
and wind up in downtown Montreal
and everybody's talking French.
# Don't be concerned
# Ain't nothing wrong
# Watch the table turn
# It's your favorite song
# It's all right
There's a hotel. Is that it?
Mmm...
No.
We're at the Econo Lodge.
# You make it better
# Life is good #
They were in the car, under the seat.
Oh! Oh.
What time does this thing
start in the morning?
10:30.
We might as well be on time.
Get our money's worth.
Mmm-hmm.
I'll set the alarm.
I wouldn't give us too much extra time.
It's probably impossible to get
Iost in a burg this size.
Mmm.
Well... Well...
We, we could...
(SIGHS)
I guess I'll go see how
the pull-out works.
(SNIFFS) Uh...
(SIGHS)
Goddamn! How is this thing supposed to...
I'll do it.
You think there's a building in this
place that does not have shutters?
The whole town Iooks Iike it was
built by Hansel and Gretel.
(LAUGHS) I think it's charming.
That's what they want you to think.
You think he did it on purpose?
Picking the most remote possible...
I mean, you're trapped here.
It's Iike Alcatraz.
Maybe he just wanted people
to have to get away.
From what? Cell phone service?
I don't even have one bar.
Think you can get a decent plate of
eggs anywhere in this zip code?
Oh, there's a... That Iittle
place Iooks sweet.
Oh, that place?
I guarantee you that place does not
serve breakfast for under $10.
You're a captive audience here.
We're only here for a week.
It's Iike an airport.
We might as well try... A week?
I'll be bankrupt in a week.
Let's go. Come on.
Coffee to start?
Yes. Please.
Is there anything on this menu that
doesn't have Iobster in it?
Oh.
See, there are your eggs.
And, Iook, they have a breakfast special.
What's special about $11 .75?
AII right, I'm going to have
a side of two eggs,
sunny side up, and a side of bacon, crisp.
I'll just give you the special.
It comes with the...
Nope. The special's $1 more.
And for you?
Yes. I'm just going to have the
fruit and cottage cheese plate.
I have a nervous stomach.
And we're in a tiny bit
of a hurry because...
You got the 10:30 with Bernie.
We'll get you there on time.
Good Iuck.
There it is.
Oh, nice digs.
Yeah.
Mmm-hmm.
If he says one word about repressed
memories, I am Ieaving.
Kay and Arnold, I'm so glad you're here.
Well, that makes one of us.
Hmm.
So, Arnold, I take it intensive
therapy was not your idea.
Nope!
You wanted to come?
Yes.
AII right. And Arnold, you?
I thought she was nuts.
We're not in the same tax bracket
as your other patients.
I think you'd be surprised.
Well, even if we were, all due respect.
I really don't see the point here.
So, you think there's nothing
wrong with your marriage.
Well, we've been married
31 years, isn't it?
It's not perfect.
But in your opinion, it works well enough.
But you wanted to come.
You persuaded Arnold?
No. I mean, I paid for it.
With my own money, from savings.
AII right. So this is really
important to you.
Mmm-hmm.
Tell me why.
I want to have a marriage again.
ARNOLD: Again?
If we don't have a marriage,
I don't know who does.
Arnold. Let's Iet Kay talk
and you can respond after.
Okay. Fine. "Again."
Arnold used to touch me.
Oh, God.
Not just... You know,
but he would touch my arm or
my shoulder, just to...
Just to, I don't know,
because he wanted to.
And now he doesn't?
And that bothers you.
Do you touch him?
Not really. He doesn't Iike it.
Is she right, Arnold? Do you Iike
it when she touches you?
I don't know.
DR. FELD: You don't know?
I don't think about it.
AII right.
(SIGHS)
What else, Kay?
Well, it feels Iike we Iive in
the house together Iike two...
Like two workers who bunk
in the same room.
Except we don't... We're
not in the same room,
but it just feels Iike there's nothing
holding us together except the house.
Nothing holding us together
Iike 31 years of...
Of what, Arnold?
Marriage.
What does that word mean to you?
Means we have a marriage Iicense
and I pay all the bills.
Not to mention our two grown...
You really have Iost your mind.
Let's try to keep the conversation
descriptive and positive.
(SIGHS)
Kay, please continue.
Um...
We don't talk about anything.
Talk! What is there I
don't know about you?
About Eileen and the skirts she bought
or if she took back the Iittle
necklace with the tiki gods.
Jesus Christ.
No, I don't mean... I
just mean, I don't...
(SIGHS)
I don't tell Arnold how
I feel about anything.
And I don't know how he feels
about anything either.
I'll tell you how I feel
about this, I hate it.
AII right. This is good.
ARNOLD: Good. Yeah. Good for you.
The more we tear each other apart,
the more money we have to pay
you to put it back together.
(CHUCKLES) Jesus God. You people
are worse than Iawyers.
I understand how you feel.
Yeah?
You two have come here to try to restore
intimacy to your marriage.
So that is going to be the goal
of our very focused sessions together.
To find ways to communicate
your needs to one another.
To cultivate intimacy.
And to develop the tools to sustain
that intimacy going forward.
The first step in rebuilding a marriage
is tearing away some of the scar tissue
that has built up over the years.
It can be very painful, but it's worth it.
I Iike to think of it...
The metaphor of when you have a deviated
septum and you can't breathe?
You have to break the nose
in order to fix it.
(CHUCKLES) ARNOLD: Charlatan!
No, he's worse than a charlatan.
He's Iike one of those...
(SIGHS)
Says he's "honed his method."
The only thing he's honed
is making sure that if you don't walk in
with a marriage-destroying problem,
you won't Ieave without one.
He's Iike those moisturizing eye
drops that make your eyes dry.
$4,000. That could have been a new roof!
Did you Iook at his credentials or even
read that brochure that you...
I mean, my God!
Unbelievable! I'd Iike to have a
Iook at this guy's tax returns.
Whoo-hoo.
Oh, don't. Come on, just don't.
You have to stop yelling at me.
I'm not yelling! Who's yelling?
Hey. Welcome back.
I'll have an Arnold Palmer
and a tuna melt.
You sure you're ready to commit?
I'll have the soup and salad, please.
Okey-dokey.
$9 for a tuna melt, it's canned tuna,
a slab of cheese and toast.
Feld's probably getting kickbacks.
(LAUGHING)
I saw a grocery store near the motel.
We can buy some cold cuts,
eat in the room.
Are you guys here for Bernie?
Mmm-hmm. We come back every year.
For a tune-up.
Oh.
In case you're wondering,
we are never coming back.
I mean, if I had ever said so much
as even one unkind word...
Do you want the hard salami or
do you want this kind here?
I don't care.
I mean, my brother, Ralph,
if Angela had ever taken him to
one of these things, whew.
You. I just hope you remember
this next year
when you want to tell me that
I never help and I never...
I'm getting the Limburger,
you don't have to eat it.
And I'll tell you one thing,
we're going to go to Florida and see my mother
next year for the full two weeks.
You have forfeited your right to complain.
Oh, boy! I was thinking
about you the whole...
Get away from the door! I'm getting!
(MOANING)
What happened to you?
I had to do that thing and
the handle came off.
Oh, me, too! And it broke, and
that kid, he played bad.
(CLANKING)
(SIGHS)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
KAY: It was a course at the university.
Beginning Accounting.
And Arnold was the teaching assistant.
What was your first impression
of Kay, Arnold?
She was pretty. Very pretty.
What else?
She probably shouldn't
major in accounting.
And Thanksgiving passed, no ring,
and my dad said, "Well, you
picked the wrong horse."
But two days Iater, I found it.
He had hidden it, the ring,
in a cinnamon bun.
(LAUGHS)
I was so surprised.
What was holding you up, Arnold?
Well, it's not Iike buying a car.
And that winter, Arnold
threw his back out.
I was helping Brad paint his room and...
He said he would be more comfortable
sleeping alone.
That hurt Iike a son of a bitch.
But then, his back got better.
It still bothers me a Iittle
bit. But also I...
He snores.
I have that sleep apnea deal.
So he just stayed in the
guest room after that.
Yeah.
Did you ask him to come back?
No. I didn't think he'd...
No.
Hmm.
So it's been a Iong time since
you've slept in the same room.
When was the Iast time you had sex?
Yeah.
Uh, I have no idea.
Well, Iet's try to think about it.
It was four years ago, almost
five years ago. In September.
When Brad moved out after college.
September 22nd. I remember thinking,
"He's moving out on the
first day of fall."
We get the picture, okay?
This makes you uncomfortable talking
about this, doesn't it?
Well, sue me because I don't want to talk
about having sex with my wife
with a total stranger.
You want to talk about it at all?
What else do you remember
about that day, Kay?
How'd you make Iove?
How?
DR. FELD: Was it the missionary
position? Arnold on top?
KAY: Oh, yeah. (SIGHS)
DR. FELD: Was it always
missionary position?
Oh, please.
KAY: Mostly, yes. Mmm-hmm.
Were there particular things
that you enjoyed doing?
Mostly it was the same.
Was your sex Iife satisfying for you?
Well, it was fine.
Yeah. AII right.
Okay.
I would Iike to assign you
your first exercise.
What... What kind of...
Tonight, I would Iike you
to spend a period of time
with your arms around one another.
(STAMMERING) Well, what's the... Why?
Because I want you to remember what
it's Iike to touch each other.
Do you think you can do that?
Arnold?
Well, maybe that's what...
I mean, forced intimacy...
Is that really...
It's not forced intimacy.
That's what it sounds Iike. Oh...
What? We're supposed to be truthful
here. DR. FELD: You are.
Although... So what I'm saying is
that I don't think this exercise,
or whatever you wanna call it,
sounds Iike something...
It's not forced. If I do that
just because somebody tells
me to, what is the point?
I don't think I Iike the idea
of anybody telling me...
I mean, the whole idea of this exercise
thing is totally ridiculous to me.
I'm not a trained monkey!
You're a bully! What?
Since you got here, all you've
done is make me feel...
Kay? Kay.
...terrible.
I've had it.
Kay!
# How do I get the man in you to see
# I'm so much more
# Than the mother in me?
Kay. Kay.
Kay, come on. This is infantile.
I think you're infantile!
Look... Where are you going?
This is insane.
No, it's not!
Where are you going?
# I want to be your lady
# Oh, I want to get swept away
# Let me cry for a change
# Don't need no Ione survivor
# I need someone by my side
# We don't have to make it perfect
# Oh, but maybe we could try
# Love me for the woman that I am
# And I will love you
# For being my man #
You can come in. We don't bite.
What can I get you?
Um...
Would you recommend the
red wine or the white?
Do you Iike red wine?
Yeah.
Then I'd go with the white.
(EVERYBODY PLAYS THE FOOL PLAYING)
# Everybody plays the fool
# Sometime
# There's no exception to the rule
# Listen, baby
And so, I was just hoping that,
maybe if...
Trying to get the old magic back?
Yeah.
Did you ever have it?
# How can you help it
# When the music starts to play
You want the audio tour? It's $4.95.
The thing is
we really don't have sex, mostly.
At all.
That's it?
(CHUCKLES)
AII right. Who in here is not having sex?
Not me.
Mike, I know you're not getting any.
(LAUGHTER)
This one's on us. KAY: Thank you.
# Everybody, baby
# Everybody plays the fool
# Sometime #
(LOCK CLICKING)
(SIGHS)
I'm back!
I see that.
(HUMMING)
I went to the museum.
Did you?
Was it interesting?
Extremely.
Of course, if you want to go, you'll
have to do it on your own.
Mmm-hmm. I'm getting ready for bed.
(WATER RUNNING)
(ARNOLD SIGHS)
Where'd you go this afternoon?
Oh.
Just around.
I thought you wanted to do that thing.
But if you don't want to do
it, I sure don't care.
AII right, I'll just go to bed.
I want to do it.
I guess we should do it there.
Mmm-hmm.
Well, I guess I'll get in.
Maybe this is enough.
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
Yeah, probably enough.
I was just getting the Iight.
(SIGHS)
(BOTH SIGHING)
And then we did the exercise...
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, that was...
...and we woke up.
Yeah.
And we were in the same bed.
Yeah, it was...
It was comfortable. Yep.
This is good. Really good.
By taking some time to yourselves,
you were able to relate
better as a couple.
And you both did it without even trying.
Well, she wanted to spend time apart.
Yeah. I was so mad.
Mad as a wet cat.
But, you know, it was nice, wasn't it?
To do something on your own, you know.
Great, you two. Really great.
I'm thrilled with the progress
that you've made.
And I think it's going to
make it that much easier
to proceed to the next step.
Next step. That's great.
Let's get with it.
I mean, we're doing so well, we might
be able to get out of here early.
Okay, next step. What is it?
Write a poem? Hold hands in
public? Sing a serenade?
Sex.
We're going to talk extensively
about your sexual history.
When it started. What it included.
What it didn't include.
If you had orgasms, vaginally
or otherwise.
If you had issues around sexuality
or performance.
Whether you talked about sex or during it.
What your fantasies are.
If you ever acted on fantasies.
Brought toys or sex games
into the bedroom.
Brought sex out of the bedroom.
And once we've explored
all of those things,
I will give you your first sexual,
not sex, but sexual, exercise.
AII right?
Let's get started.
Arnold, would you Iike to begin?
Do you...
I think we ought to stop
this right now before...
We should just get our things and go.
I'll go first. I will.
Fine.
Terrific.
AII right.
Kay, Iet's talk about what
you Iiked sexually.
(STAMMERS)
Was intercourse pleasurable for you?
Sometimes.
Did you have orgasms?
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
Sometimes.
Do you masturbate? KAY: No.
Not anymore.
Why not?
Because at a certain point, I just...
(SIGHS)
I think I didn't want to think about
sex or about Arnold, even.
It just made me sad thinking
about what I missed and...
What about your fantasy Iife?
Do you have fantasies?
Mmm-hmm.
What?
My fantasy is that, you know,
we'll renew our vows.
Just a Iittle small ceremony,
on a beach, maybe.
Right.
Maybe with the kids there.
Right. And do you have sexual fantasies?
Imagine scenarios?
Having sex on a mountain top
or dressed all in Ieather?
(LAUGHS)
That's funny.
So, no.
I mainly think about Arnold
and things that we've done.
You never have fantasies about things that
you haven't done ever?
No.
Okay. Okay.
AII right. Arnold, Iet's talk about you.
What do you enjoy sexually?
Sex.
I'm going to ask you to get more specific.
Okay, fine.
So you enjoy the actual sexual
act? Intercourse?
Yeah.
Missionary style.
(SIGHS)
Would you prefer that to, say, oral sex?
I guess so.
Was oral sex an option? Is that something
that you would do regularly?
(STAMMERING) No, I, I, I, I don't... No.
I was not very... I'm...
(CLEARS THROAT) I was not
comfortable with that.
Giving or receiving?
Huh?
Um, I don't know. Both, I guess.
Okay. So, now you, Arnold, would
have been open to that.
What does it matter? She just
said it was not an option.
DR. FELD: What about problems
in the bedroom?
Have you ever experienced
erectile dysfunction?
(LAUGHS) No.
Use medications Iike Viagra?
No.
As we age, sometimes, it becomes...
It works.
What would you say was working
in your sex Iife
when you were sexual together? (SIGHS)
For instance, would you climax? Yeah.
Were there things that you
wanted to do, but didn't?
You're kidding, right?
Well?
I mean, who says no to that?
Right. Then go ahead.
Uh, what, you want a whole Iist?
Sure.
Uh...
I'm not really coming up with anything.
There are no wrong answers here.
(SIGHS)
Well...
If you could have anything you wanted
in your sex Iife with Kay,
what would that be?
Did you have fantasies that you didn't
feel comfortable telling her about?
Of course.
Well, I guess I used to think
about Kay giving me a...
(SIGHS)
Giving me oral...
You know...
At work. Under the desk.
At tax time.
So, public places.
No, not just public places.
No? Okay. Good, good. Very good.
What else?
(CLEARING THROAT) A threesome.
With? The neighbor.
Helen?
No, Carol.
Carol?
Carol with the corgis?
Very good, Arnold. Both of you.
I am going to give you your next exercise.
You think we ought to be sitting for this?
Well,
maybe Iying down.
You want to go first?
Do you want me to?
Six of one, half dozen of the other.
(EXHALES)
(SIGHS)
Is that all right? Fine.
Does it feel good?
It feels Iike you're petting a dog.
That tickles. Don't...
Sorry. Okay.
Don't go there. I'm sorry.
(CLEARS THROAT)
(SIGHS)
I really don't see the point of...
I mean, this Dr. Feld...
Mmm-hmm.
...you think he has other Iegitimate
doctors here who agree with him,
or think he could be just
some sort of a renegade?
You, I mean, well, us,
your average person, you could be being
treated by someone who's psychotic.
Or maybe someone who's
just a very average,
or even below-average practitioner.
Uh...
(GROANS)
I think we better stop.
What?
You sure? Yeah, I think I just...
I'm going to bed.
(SIGHS)
(MOANING SOFTLY)
(KAY BREATHING HEAVILY)
(MOANING)
(SHUDDERING BREATHS)
So, Iast night you had
the touching exercise.
How did that go?
How was that for you?
AII right, Iet's talk about it. Arnold.
How was it having Kay touch you?
It was fine, I guess.
Did it feel good?
Did you get aroused?
How did that make you feel?
Aroused.
What about you, Kay? How
did that make you feel?
Oh, I got aroused, too.
Did you know that, Arnold?
How am I supposed to know what
she's thinking or feeling?
How was it for you, Kay,
when Arnold touched you?
Oh, we didn't get to that part.
Why not? Why?
Because we just stopped.
We did the exercise. It
was done. We did it.
The exercise was to spend a period of
time touching each other sensually.
It sounds Iike Kay touched
you and then you stopped.
Did you talk about it?
Whose idea was it to stop?
It was mine, okay. I just wanted
to stop. I wanted...
AII right. Okay. I didn't
want to do it anymore.
AII right. Well, Iet's go deeper, then.
Let's not go deeper.
It's not enough to just be
here. You have to try.
I'm not trying? I flew 1 ,500 miles up
here for this and I'm not trying?
AII right. Well, then, Iet's
just try to figure this out.
Why did you want Kay to stop?
I wanted her to stop because...
Were you afraid?
No! What do I have to be afraid of?
Fear... Hey, re-engaging can be...
I'm not afraid of my own wife.
Fine. Well, that's okay. It's okay.
It's normal to feel fear.
I did not feel fear!
Then why did you stop Kay
from touching you?
Let me tell you something.
I am done with this for today.
I am done.
I'll see you back at the room.
(BIRDS SQUAWKING)
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
Kay?
What are you doing?
Dr. Feld said he'd give us a refund.
What percent?
What?
Did he say he'd give us back
the whole payment, or...
Half. Half.
I don't know what you thought
was going to happen here.
What did you...
I mean, there's no magic
pill or wand or...
He's just a guy with an office.
Mmm-hmm.
It's ridiculous. You come up
here, you spend one week
and you're supposed to, what,
have a new marriage?
It's a setup. You're set up for failure.
Then you feel bad about failing.
You see that, right?
You can't win.
Why the hell did you bring us here?
You know how you think you're always
headed towards something?
You think, "When we get married,"
or, "When we have kids,"
or, "When the kids go and
it's just us again..."
You know, there's always something
to Iook forward to.
And one day, I realized that we are
not going towards anything anymore.
And I guess I was just not willing
to Iet go of things getting
better anymore.
Not yet.
Maybe you just don't get a choice,
you know?
Maybe you just don't get a choice.
Don't forget your razor in the bathroom.
You're back.
Let's talk about that. ARNOLD: Let's not.
Let's just... I'm back, all right?
That ought to be enough.
It isn't, actually.
What do you want from me, blood?
You have a Iot of anger, Arnold.
What do you think you're so angry about?
I'm angry about everything.
I'm angry about being here.
Why? What are you afraid will happen?
You want to know what? Fine.
What I'm afraid will happen here
is what probably happens in every
goddamn therapist's office
every time any poor couple goes in there.
You say whatever thing, because
somebody Iike you
is dragging it out of them and
then you can't take it back.
There are things in this Iife that
you don't say for a reason.
Like what? What would you say?
Uh...
Tell me.
I want to know. I want to know.
It's worse not knowing when there are
things that you're holding back
you won't say because you think
I'm too fragile or whatever.
No, it's not that. It's...
Something I can't hear.
AII right, fine! AII right.
She has a way... Say it to Kay.
You have a way of saying that
something's up to me
and then when I make a decision
and it's something you don't Iike,
you don't actually say anything,
but you sure do get your point across.
Well, can I just say, I don't
Iike... Is it my turn?
I don't Iike the way that we always do
something for Christmas,
or an anniversary,
that's a joint gift for the
house, Iike a water heater.
You needed that water heater.
Yes, but you did, too. You shower.
Why is that a special gift for me?
Hmm?
And I hate watching golf. I
do. I think it's boring.
And the shows where they talk
about golf, even worse.
It's Iike being married to ESPN.
And when you eat ranch chips,
your breath smells.
I Iike ranch chips.
And I hate it when you rub up against me,
Iike you just expect me to do it.
"Come on, Iet's go."
Hell, it got to the point I was afraid
to make any kind of move.
If I even so much as tried to kiss you...
Well, you never kiss me.
You don't want to kiss me,
you just want "it."
Not me.
(SIGHS) You know, he always has
his eyes squeezed tight shut.
It's not me. You just want "it."
Hell, yes, I want "it." You can
bet your Iife I want "it."
So screw me for wanting to
have sex with my wife!
And, you know, it's not pleasant
to do that with somebody who
doesn't want to do it.
But you never saw me...
What?
Go on, Arnold.
I didn't complain because
Kay didn't want sex.
Love. That's what I wanted. Not just sex.
I wanted you.
Well, what about all those
years I wanted you?
AII those goddamn years.
And I didn't cheat.
I didn't go to hookers.
I watched a Iittle porn, but who doesn't?
I was good. I did the right thing.
Now you're bringing me here for...
You're the one who stopped, not me.
Yeah, for a while I stopped,
yes, but you stopped, too.
You did. You stopped.
Well, you don't just turn
it on and off, you know?
Maybe when it's off, it's just off.
Off.
(SIGHS)
I want you to do something for me.
I want you to tell me about
the best sex you ever had.
The time that you can remember that
was the best. Either of you.
Even if it wasn't very good.
Even if it was terrible.
Best time that you remember.
Well...
Hmm.
Oh.
I remember one time.
Kay was pregnant.
Where were you? In the kitchen.
She was making soup.
And I came in there and she kept
saying she had to stir her soup.
And pretty soon, she forgot
about that soup.
What do you remember, Kay?
Well, we were on the floor, and...
And it was slow.
He... He put some dish
towels behind my head
so my head wouldn't bang on...
Wouldn't bump up against the
bottom of the cabinet.
That was... (LAUGHS)
Arnold, what else do you
remember about that?
Just wanting her.
Standing there in the kitchen.
Happy.
Beautiful.
She had a Iittle apron which was getting
to be too Iittle because her
belly was getting so big.
You were very attracted to her then.
Yeah, I was, and...
Are you still?
Uh, I don't... I don't know.
It's been a Iong time since we've...
I don't Iook Iike I did then.
No, it's not that.
No. I never could Iose all the weight.
You Iook fine. I just don't think
of it in that way anymore.
About her that way anymore.
Well, of course, I...
DR. FELD: No, it's not "of course."
Sometimes when a connection is Iost,
we forget how to want one another.
Do you still want Kay?
Well, yes!
Do you still fantasize about her?
(STAMMERING) You mean, now?
These days.
I don't know.
I don't... I...
I had one.
I had a fantasy.
Was it...
It was...
It was... It was...
Like you said. It was just us,
and it was really different.
Something we've never done before.
Something new.
I'm going to ask you to take a Ieap
of faith and try something.
It is most Iikely way out
of your comfort zone.
Try to think of it in terms of...
Remember the metaphor of a nose breaking?
It's the nose.
(SHUSHING)
Well, you can't break a
nose slowly, can you?
(MEN SPEAKING FRENCH ONSCREEN)
Of course there was a problem
with the popcorn popper.
Oh.
(COUGHS)
Thank you.
I don't see why you can't tell
me what you're planning on.
Because he said it was fine this way.
It just makes me uncomfortable not to know
what I'm going to be asked to do.
When it's your turn, you
can do what you want.
What if we don't do the exercise again?
We're moving at a rapid clip here. Okay.
It's your ball game.
I'll tell you one thing.
You would never get me into a French
movie if we were at home.
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
(ARNOLD LAUGHING)
This is pretty good.
Oh.
Sorry.
(UNZIPPING)
(KAY EXHALES)
(CHUCKLING)
(GROANS)
I'm sorry, I can't see!
You just need to take it easy.
Watch it with the teeth!
I'm sorry. Sorry, I didn't mean...
It's all right.
I can't see.
Oh, God. (SIGHS)
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
(GRUNTS)
(SIGHS)
Hey, you can hurt someone!
(SOBBING) I'm so sorry! I can't do this.
Kay. Kay. Kay.
Kay, it's okay.
It's not okay!
It's not okay.
(SIGHS)
Kay, Iisten.
Kay, this is not a big deal.
I should...
I'm not good at anything.
There's not anything to be good at!
I don't know how to be good at anything.
Listen, wait. I'm not sexy!
Wait. Yes, you are very...
What? What? Yes, what?
Maybe you just don't have...
Maybe there's just certain things
you're not experienced at.
Kay!
I must have Iooked so stupid!
But how did you feel?
Like a fake.
I'm just not... I'm...
I just can't do that.
Well, the whole situation
was just dangerous,
with those cup holders, and
seat backs going forth,
and back and forth and the cramped space,
the concrete floor, those people
everywhere. (GROANS)
That's not me.
I just can't be a person who commits
an illegal act in a movie theater.
It's just... Is that really
who I have to be?
It's not about being a sex object.
It's about pleasing the man you Iove.
And Ietting him please you.
Well, I don't even know how to do that!
Ultimately, I think you
have to ask yourself,
"Is this person worth more
to me than my pride?"
Oh, yeah. I mean...
Yes.
Kay's putting it all on the Iine here.
What are you putting on the Iine?
Everything.
He is everything.
But I'm really Ionely.
And I think
to be with somebody and not
really with him is...
I think I might be Iess
Ionely if I were alone.
Do you want to be alone? No!
I don't know.
You wouldn't think it would be so hard
to just touch somebody that you Iove.
But it is. It's really hard.
Okay. You know what?
I'm going to give you something
that may help with your anxiety.
You can pick this up in town.
(BELLS TINKLE)
Hey. Hi. Hello.
Oh, we got a discount on trade
paperbacks in the front,
if you're interested. Oh.
Are you Iooking for anything special?
Not really.
AII right, just Iet me know.
(DOOR OPENS)
(BELLS TINKLE)
Do you have a title, miss?
No, not... I'm just...
I was gonna say if you got
a title, I can Iook it up.
We're short on shelf space up here,
so we have a Iot of stuff in the back.
Actually, I'm Iooking for
Sex Tips for Straight
Women from a Gay Man.
Oh, yeah. Dr. Feld has us
keep those in stock.
Oh. Okay.
Can I give you cash?
Yeah, that works.
Couples come to me for two reasons.
To help them save their marriage, or...
Or what?
Or to help them end it.
When one person is this unhappy,
the marriage has to restore some
sort of equilibrium, or...
Or what? Are you trying to tell
me my marriage is over?
Because I'm not gonna pay
you for one more session
just because you threaten me,
you smug Iittle prick!
Arnold, your wife is very unhappy.
And I'm not saying that she'll ever Ieave.
I just don't want you to have anything
to regret should she...
I'm simply saying the moment is here
and you have to ask yourself,
"Have I done all I could?"
Have you, Arnold?
Is this the best that you can do?
(SIGHS)
I'm sorry, there's...
Listen, I can... Maybe a Iittle
tip would help, you know.
You want to buy a table?
I need it.
So whatever...
Look, I need this.
Look, I'm really sorry about whatever
is going on in your marriage,
but I don't think the dinner
was going to save it.
I need a table.
I need it, and I'm not going to Ieave
from right here until I get it.
MIKE: We're going to need more space here,
so I want you to push it further
against the wall. AII right?
AII right.
(PHONE RINGING)
Hello. Captain Jack's.
I'm sorry to hear that, Mr. Fletcher.
What time was that for?
Uh, all right.
Well, thanks for calling. I do hope
you come and visit us sometime.
Thank you very much. Bye.
AII right.
That goes away.
Well?
Got a waiting Iist. Got to call them.
You got a waiting Iist? You will give
me that table, so help me God!
Are you ready?
I'm almost ready.
(ARNOLD COUGHS)
(SIGHS)
You really ready? 'Cause
I don't want to be Iate.
Yes, I'm really ready.
Very pretty. Thank you.
You Iook really nice, too. Yeah, I do.
You handsome devil.
(GASPS) (CHUCKLES)
Oh, Arnold. It's gorgeous!
(ELEGANT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)
I just can't get over it!
You Iike it?
Mmm.
This is just exactly...
A Iittle different than the Econo Lodge?
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
Completely different.
That place reminds me of when we
drove down to see your mother,
before we were married.
And we stayed at that Iittle place...
You know, it was the only
place that was open.
It was a truck stop.
In Albuquerque?
Oh, I remember that. It had orange walls.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
That was the first time you said it.
First time you said you Ioved me.
In that Iittle motel.
You know, before you said it...
Well, I didn't want to be the
one who said it first,
but I just... I had to say it!
So every time we talked on the phone
I would say it to the phone
after we hung up!
Really?
Yes, I really did that.
I figured if I ever said anything Iike
that, you'd take off running.
What?
You could have had your pick.
I didn't think you'd ever want me.
I never wanted anything more.
(KAY AND ARNOLD LAUGHING)
What I don't get is how he remembers
to talk Iike that.
"Consider the metaphor of the nose."
I know. It must be so hard for him.
I wonder if he talks to
his wife Iike that.
That would be...
"Mildred, I find it very interesting
that you are naked."
Can I bring you anything else?
Do you... No, I'm fine.
Okay. No, just the check.
Unless you want to. No, check, please.
(SIGHS)
Might get chilly on the way back.
It's been getting cold at night.
Well, the thing is, I've...
(CLEARS THROAT)
I don't know how you'll take this,
but I got us a room.
Here.
You did? Mmm-hmm.
The front desk has toothbrushes.
I asked them.
I thought maybe just for
a night, it'd be...
You might want to...
So,
after this, we can just...
(FIRE CRACKLING)
Like it?
(GASPS) Gosh!
Oh, my gosh.
Oh!
Look at this.
Look at this!
Here's some strawberries.
You had to get them,
so here they are.
Anyway, you want some?
Huh? Strawberries.
I'm kind of full.
Yeah, me, too. And they knew that.
It's a rip off, really. You spend 15...
That's okay. You know, I think
I would Iike to have some.
Yeah? Yeah.
Okay.
Do you want to eat them
at the table? Okay.
Or we could eat them in front
of the fire. Okay.
Okay.
Um... Oh.
Oh. (LAUGHS)
Sweet.
Mmm.
Is it good?
Mmm! It's good. It's fresh.
Good.
Chocolaty. Good.
Mmm.
You want some? There's champagne,
if you want.
Yeah. I know... I'm sorry. Go ahead.
No, you go.
There's champagne.
You want some? I think I
would Iike that, Arnold.
Ohh!
(LAUGHING)
I guess you have something in mind there.
Mmm-hmm.
I do.
Hold that thought. What?
Hold that thought.
Oh. Okay.
(LET'S STAY TOGETHER PLAYING)
# Let's stay together
# I'm
# I'm so in love with you
(LAUGHING)
Come here.
# Whatever you want to do
# Is all right with me
# 'Cause you make me feel
# So brand-new
# And I
# Want to spend my life with you
# Let me say that since
# Baby, since we've been together
# Ooh
# Loving you forever
(BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY)
# Is what I need
# Let me be the one
# You come running to
# I'll never be
I want... I want...
You want to...
AII right. You want to... You want to...
Yeah.
# Ooh, baby, let's
# Let's stay together
# Loving you whether
# Whether
# Times are good or bad
# Happy or sad
# Ooh, ooh #
(SONG FADES)
Look at me.
(STIFLED SOBBING)
You Iied.
No.
When Dr. Feld asked you if you
were still attracted to me.
It was when you Iooked at me.
Just now.
You Iooked in my face.
That had nothing to do with it.
That's when you stopped.
DR. FELD: Setbacks are a natural part of the
process. They never feel good, though.
(SIGHS)
I know you feel Iike you've failed,
but Iook where you failed. You
fumbled on the one-yard Iine.
When you got here, you weren't
even on the playing field.
You were somewhere in the parking Iot.
So I think you're ready to follow
up with a therapist at home.
I can recommend somebody really good.
I have patients who never should
have gotten married.
And you are not those people.
Even great marriages have terrible years.
So bad that you're tempted
to just give up.
But don't.
Hold on.
There will come a time when you'll
look back at this moment
as the prelude to something fuller
and richer than you've ever dreamed.
(SIGHS)
(TV PLAYING)
Soames! Yo.
Hey, how was that vacation? Good!
Yeah. Where was it, Vermont? Maine.
Maine. That's right. You said
Kay Iikes the ocean.
So, how was it? You going to go back?
Um, probably not. It's
a Iittle overpriced.
Yeah. I hear you, but, hey, if it keeps
the missus happy another year,
I'd say it's well worth the money spent!
Yeah.
Jon Ross came in today.
Mmm-hmm.
You'd think it was the first
time he'd ever heard that
October 15th was the deadline
for an extension.
The guy never filed on time in his Iife!
And we have the same conversation
every year.
Every goddamn year.
For 17 years.
Can you imagine that?
KRAIG KANN ON TV: Hi, again,
everybody. School of Golf
is back in session for another week.
This week, it is Chapter 24, "It's
AII About the Putting Stroke."
I'm Kraig Kann. This is the
professor, Martin Hall.
Putting. We're rolling it tonight.
Well, yes. We all want to
hit it fewer times...
(SIGHS)
EILEEN: So you guys had fun, huh?
Kind of hard to get back
into the old routine.
Mmm.
What is it?
You Iook Iike you could cry.
No!
Do you still need somebody to take
care of that cat when you go away?
Oh, we already got the girl next door.
But I don't trust her. She's not bright.
Well, I could do it.
Really? Mmm-hmm.
Oh, gosh, are you sure?
Because I think I might have
a spare key with me.
And maybe I could stay over.
A night, or two nights.
Well, sure. You do that.
I saw The Caine Mutiny is on Iater.
Mmm-hmm.
You want to watch it? I don't think so.
I'm just going to go up to bed.
Kay.
I'm just a Iittle tired.
Is it really all that bad?
It's just expectations.
Like one of those makeovers, you know?
You Iook different for a minute
and then go back to yourself, right?
Right?
I don't know if I can.
What?
I don't know if I can go back.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS)
You sure this is a gallon can?
Yes, sir, it's a Iard can. Just
took it from the pantry, sir.
I suppose you're wondering
why I called this meeting.
As you all know by now, we had an excellent
dessert for dinner tonight,
ice cream and frozen strawberries.
An hour ago, I sent Whittaker to the
pantry to bring me another portion.
(WHY? PLAYING)
# Why?
# How many times
# Do I have to try to tell you
# That I'm sorry for the things I've done?
# Ooh
# But when I start to try to tell you
# That's when you have to tell me
# Hey, this kind of trouble's
# Only just begun
# Yeah
(STIFLED SOBBING)
# I tell myself too many times
# Why don't you ever learn to
keep your big mouth shut?
# That's why it hurts so
bad to hear the words
# That keep on falling from your mouth
# Falling from your mouth
# Tell me why
# This is the book I never read
# These are the words I never said
# This is the path I'll never tread
# These are the dreams I'll dream instead
# This is the joy that's seldom spread
# These are the tears, the tears we shed
# This is the fear, this is the dread
# These are the contents of my head
# And these are the years
that we have spent
# And this is what they represent
# This is how I feel
# Do you know how I feel?
# 'Cause I don't think you know how I feel
# I don't think you know what I feel
# Why?
# I don't think you know what I feel #
Kay.
(SIGHS)
(MOANING)
You are beautiful. (LAUGHS)
You... You...
(GASPING)
(MOANS)
(SIZZLING)
I'm Iate.
Oh. Okay.
Well, have a nice day.
Okay.
Chicken tonight. Good.
With potatoes and maybe some spinach.
Good. No spinach. (CHUCKLES)
Okay. 6:00? 5:30.
What's the matter?
What'd you forget?
(KAY MOANS SOFTLY)
(KAY GASPING)
(GRUNTS)
Have a nice day.
Arnold!
Arnie!
Hey! Hi!
Carol!
You got another corgi!
I know. This is Emma.
But three's the Iimit. I'm done.
How was y'all's trip?
Our trip was... Our trip was really...
You should come over tonight and
we'll tell you all about it.
That'd be great. I'd Iove to.
Yeah.
AII right. I'll see you guys Iater.
KAY: Okay.
(LAUGHING)
That's not going to happen.
Kay. Arnold.
We are all here today to witness
the renewals of your vows of matrimony.
We are thrilled, and I especially
am very thrilled,
to be here and to be a part
of this very special day.
KAY: Arnold, after 32 years of marriage,
I can honestly say that I Iove
you more than I ever did.
The day I met you changed my Iife.
It made my Iife.
And now I can't imagine Iiving
my Iife without you.
It wouldn't be any kind of Iife at all.
When I think about spending the
rest of my Iife with you,
I only regret it won't be Iong enough.
So I want to now
make this next chapter
of our Iives together
something that we'll both cherish.
I vow to watch more golf with
you without complaining.
(LAUGHTER)
I vow to watch Iess golf,
and to buy you good presents
that aren't for the house.
Maybe Iike jewelry.
Like jewelry.
Jewelry. Yes.
I vow not to cut my hair
any shorter than it is,
'cause I know you Iike it Iong.
Longer.
I vow not to complain so much.
If I can help it,
because sometimes there's something
that really needs to be complained about.
And I vow to go to one
of those sleep studies
Iike you've been asking me to go to.
And I vow to take you
somewhere once a year
that's more than 200 miles away from home
and isn't to see a family member.
Now, on this wonderful day,
I give you the rest of my Iife
and I thank God every day
that you're in it.
And I vow to tell you how I feel,
not just when you ask me.
And I'll tell you how I feel about this.
I Iove it. I Iove you.
(MOUTHING)
(LAUGHING)
We will have the ceremonial
breaking of the nose.
(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)
See? That wasn't so hard.
Thank you.
Yes, a big boy.
Congratulations.
(BRIGHT SIDE OF THE ROAD PLAYING)
# We'll be lovers once again
# On the bright side of the road
(LAUGHTER)
KAY: I'm so glad to meet you!
Finally!
Brad, Brad, Brad!
# From the dark end of the street
# To the bright side of the road
# Well, into this Iife we're born
# Baby, sometimes
# Sometimes we don't know why
# And time seems to go by so fast
# In the twinkling of an eye
# Let's enjoy it while we can
# Won't you help me share my load?
# Help me share my load
# From the dark end of the street
# To the bright side of the road #
(BREATHING DEEPLY)
(SIGHS)
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Come in!
(DOOR LATCHES LOUDLY)
What?
What are you doing?
I was just thinking that...
I could sleep in here tonight.
In here? Why? Something
wrong with your room?
Is it too warm? Because I had that
air conditioner completely...
No.
Well, then what?
I just wanted...
Oh. Well...
I don't...
(STAMMERS) Uh, I'm not feeling well...
I had pork for Iunch and I... Mmm-hmm.
I think it's probably best
if we just... If I...
Mmm-hmm. That's okay.
I mean, I...
I'll just go back.
(SIGHS)
(AIN'T LOVE SOMETHIN' PLAYING)
(ALARM BLARING)
# This is for
# The people holding hands
# And this is for the ones
# With broken hearts
# What I'm trying to explain
# Is in our Iives there'll come a day
# When we'll find those feelings
# Lost in the dark
Thank you. Mmm-hmm.
# The losin', the tryin'
# It's that crazy little thing
# That we call Iove
(FORK SCRAPING ON PLATE)
# And when it comes to you
# If I had to tell the truth
# About the mixed-up thoughts
# My mind's been thinkin' of
# It's Iike the sunshine
6:00? Mmm-hmm.
I'm making prime rib for our... Mmm-hmm.
# You bring me pleasure
# And you bring me pain
AII right. Bye!
# Ain't Iove somethin' #
Bye.
Think you can change your marriage?
Change your marriage?
What do you mean?
Like you mostly eat in on Fridays
and then you eat out?
Or that you're at each other's throats
and suddenly you're Cinderella
and Prince Charming.
The second one.
No. No.
You married who you marry,
you are who you are.
Why would that change?
Well, if you wanted it to.
No, I think for that to happen,
it would have to be so bad
that somebody was willing to risk everything
just to shake things up
and then it may not come down your way.
No, change is hard. Marriages
don't change.
Hey, what are you making tonight?
The kids still coming over?
Yeah. Prime rib.
(CHUCKLES) Oh, they are so beautiful!
Huh, Arnold? Just what we needed.
Mmm-hmm.
I picked them out.
Show-off.
So what'd you guys get each other?
Yeah, 31. What gift is that?
Silver? Ivory? Paper?
No, it isn't anything special.
Just an off year.
Oh! We got each other the
new cable subscription.
Oh, great.
It's a Iot of channels.
First of all, so many of
you are dealing with,
"Should I open the club face,
or should I do this?"
You can Iearn to break Iike this.
All he's doing is he's
taking the club back.
He doesn't have a Iot of
wrist hinge at all.
In fact, in the down-the-Iine view,
what his swing looks like is,
the head of the club is outside
of the hands here.
Very, very late wrist set.
He gets up into here, Iike this,
and then his body is moving forward
while the club is going backwards
and that's how you get this
real... (TURNS OFF TV)
Arnold.
(GRUNTS)
Turn off the air down here?
Mmm-hmm!
(STAIRS CREAKING)
Night. Good night.
# More, more, more, give me
# More, more
# More, more, more, give me
# More, oh
# More, more, more, give me
# More, more
# More, more, more, give me
# More, oh
# Open me up
# And what do you find?
# Broken heart
# And a dusty mind
# You can take your time
# But I'll never take mine
# Write your life down
# Then break the spine
# I'm taking it down
# Taking it down
# And turning it around
# Turning it around
# And making a sound
# Making a sound
# For the first time in my days
# Oh, how I
# Need you
# To need me
# Need it so, need it so, need it so bad
# And you
# You want to move
# Along with me
# Do you want, do you want
# To move along with me? #
DR. FELD: I can't tell you how many...
Shh! (TURNS DOWN VOLUME)
...questions I get on what constitutes
the perfect marriage.
I see couples who think their
marriages are over.
Who feel Iike it's impossible
to regain what they once had.
Well, it's not. It's not impossible.
And it's not too Iate
for anyone who truly wants
it and is willing to try.
(SIGHS)
Thank you. Mmm-hmm.
(SIGHS)
What are you... You eating?
No. I, I...
What? You're just going to sit there?
Okay.
What do we got?
I want to go.
"Dr. Bernard Feld, Center for Intensive
Couples Counseling."
You want to go to intensive
couples counseling?
In Maine. Maine.
Only half the day.
Rest of the day you can read,
or Iook around the town.
$4,000 for a week?
Well, it's intensive.
Have to be gold-plated.
Well, I paid for it.
How?
I used my C. D.
How'd you get access to your C. D?
I called Vince. Oh.
You called my office without
talking to me.
I made a reservation for us.
Well, cancel it.
I want to go.
Have you been to see Dr. Lesser?
Maybe this has something to do
with that hormonal thing.
I am not crazy, Arnold!
Well, then I don't know
what to say to you.
In all our years together, never have I...
Have you heard me ask for anything?
Excuse me? Did we not just get a new
refrigerator because you wanted...
That's not what I mean.
Well, you're a grown woman. You
can go anywhere you want to go.
But I'm not going.
So if you want to go to intensive couples
counseling all by yourself,
I'll see you when you get back.
Maybe I will.
AII right.
Maybe I will.
You're not going to get audited over $217.
Well, you're just not.
AII right! Call Terri to
make an appointment.
Yes, and thank you. Bye.
(GROANS)
VINCE: You know, Kay called
me. I meant to tell you.
That's nothing. She's just been
acting kind of off, is all.
Off? How? I don't know. Threatening me.
What does she want? Car?
Vacation, something?
No. Yeah, a vacation.
I'll tell you, when Susan
used to threaten me,
I did what we all want to do.
Head up to Brewsky's, not call,
come home Iate piss drunk,
a big "screw you."
You see how that worked out. Uh-huh.
If I had to do it again,
I'd be on it with flowers, a card,
dinner, maybe even a necklace.
I'd be in there Iike the Orkin
Man and kill that thing dead.
Maybe then I wouldn't be in a condo.
(DOG BARKING)
ARNOLD: The girl Iiked those best.
I told her how much you Iiked the ocean.
This is your boarding pass.
Oh, come on.
The flight Ieaves at 10:02 in the morning.
What is wrong with you? What
are you trying to do to us?
I want a real marriage again, Arnold.
A real marriage? This isn't real
after 31 years? This isn't real?
When's the Iast time that you touched me
that wasn't just for a picture?
When's the Iast time you kissed me?
I kiss you every day.
We're not 22 years old anymore,
things change.
I could be more... You know. I could...
Um, this is insane.
The flight Ieaves at 10:02 tomorrow.
I'm going to be on it.
Your supper's on the table.
You're not even... You're
not even gonna...
Aren't...
So if you're one of those people
that's looking for more distance,
well if you're doing this, guess
what? I don't like your chances.
(ALARM BLARING)
(GRUNTS)
(ALARM STOPS)
(SIGHS)
(CAR HORN HONKING)
Good morning.
Morning, ma'am. Let me take this for you.
Thank you.
Where we going today?
To the airport.
(ENGINE STARTS)
(GRUNTS)
(SIGHS)
I hope you're happy.
(YOU MAKE IT BETTER PLAYING)
# Another day
# You're doing fine
# Everything's okay
# Got all your ducks in line
How far is this place, anyway?
Only a couple of hours.
Couple of hours. That's enough
to put us in Canada.
I'm really glad you came, Arnold.
Yeah?
Well, you tell me that when we get Iost
and wind up in downtown Montreal
and everybody's talking French.
# Don't be concerned
# Ain't nothing wrong
# Watch the table turn
# It's your favorite song
# It's all right
There's a hotel. Is that it?
Mmm...
No.
We're at the Econo Lodge.
# You make it better
# Life is good #
They were in the car, under the seat.
Oh! Oh.
What time does this thing
start in the morning?
10:30.
We might as well be on time.
Get our money's worth.
Mmm-hmm.
I'll set the alarm.
I wouldn't give us too much extra time.
It's probably impossible to get
Iost in a burg this size.
Mmm.
Well... Well...
We, we could...
(SIGHS)
I guess I'll go see how
the pull-out works.
(SNIFFS) Uh...
(SIGHS)
Goddamn! How is this thing supposed to...
I'll do it.
You think there's a building in this
place that does not have shutters?
The whole town Iooks Iike it was
built by Hansel and Gretel.
(LAUGHS) I think it's charming.
That's what they want you to think.
You think he did it on purpose?
Picking the most remote possible...
I mean, you're trapped here.
It's Iike Alcatraz.
Maybe he just wanted people
to have to get away.
From what? Cell phone service?
I don't even have one bar.
Think you can get a decent plate of
eggs anywhere in this zip code?
Oh, there's a... That Iittle
place Iooks sweet.
Oh, that place?
I guarantee you that place does not
serve breakfast for under $10.
You're a captive audience here.
We're only here for a week.
It's Iike an airport.
We might as well try... A week?
I'll be bankrupt in a week.
Let's go. Come on.
Coffee to start?
Yes. Please.
Is there anything on this menu that
doesn't have Iobster in it?
Oh.
See, there are your eggs.
And, Iook, they have a breakfast special.
What's special about $11 .75?
AII right, I'm going to have
a side of two eggs,
sunny side up, and a side of bacon, crisp.
I'll just give you the special.
It comes with the...
Nope. The special's $1 more.
And for you?
Yes. I'm just going to have the
fruit and cottage cheese plate.
I have a nervous stomach.
And we're in a tiny bit
of a hurry because...
You got the 10:30 with Bernie.
We'll get you there on time.
Good Iuck.
There it is.
Oh, nice digs.
Yeah.
Mmm-hmm.
If he says one word about repressed
memories, I am Ieaving.
Kay and Arnold, I'm so glad you're here.
Well, that makes one of us.
Hmm.
So, Arnold, I take it intensive
therapy was not your idea.
Nope!
You wanted to come?
Yes.
AII right. And Arnold, you?
I thought she was nuts.
We're not in the same tax bracket
as your other patients.
I think you'd be surprised.
Well, even if we were, all due respect.
I really don't see the point here.
So, you think there's nothing
wrong with your marriage.
Well, we've been married
31 years, isn't it?
It's not perfect.
But in your opinion, it works well enough.
But you wanted to come.
You persuaded Arnold?
No. I mean, I paid for it.
With my own money, from savings.
AII right. So this is really
important to you.
Mmm-hmm.
Tell me why.
I want to have a marriage again.
ARNOLD: Again?
If we don't have a marriage,
I don't know who does.
Arnold. Let's Iet Kay talk
and you can respond after.
Okay. Fine. "Again."
Arnold used to touch me.
Oh, God.
Not just... You know,
but he would touch my arm or
my shoulder, just to...
Just to, I don't know,
because he wanted to.
And now he doesn't?
And that bothers you.
Do you touch him?
Not really. He doesn't Iike it.
Is she right, Arnold? Do you Iike
it when she touches you?
I don't know.
DR. FELD: You don't know?
I don't think about it.
AII right.
(SIGHS)
What else, Kay?
Well, it feels Iike we Iive in
the house together Iike two...
Like two workers who bunk
in the same room.
Except we don't... We're
not in the same room,
but it just feels Iike there's nothing
holding us together except the house.
Nothing holding us together
Iike 31 years of...
Of what, Arnold?
Marriage.
What does that word mean to you?
Means we have a marriage Iicense
and I pay all the bills.
Not to mention our two grown...
You really have Iost your mind.
Let's try to keep the conversation
descriptive and positive.
(SIGHS)
Kay, please continue.
Um...
We don't talk about anything.
Talk! What is there I
don't know about you?
About Eileen and the skirts she bought
or if she took back the Iittle
necklace with the tiki gods.
Jesus Christ.
No, I don't mean... I
just mean, I don't...
(SIGHS)
I don't tell Arnold how
I feel about anything.
And I don't know how he feels
about anything either.
I'll tell you how I feel
about this, I hate it.
AII right. This is good.
ARNOLD: Good. Yeah. Good for you.
The more we tear each other apart,
the more money we have to pay
you to put it back together.
(CHUCKLES) Jesus God. You people
are worse than Iawyers.
I understand how you feel.
Yeah?
You two have come here to try to restore
intimacy to your marriage.
So that is going to be the goal
of our very focused sessions together.
To find ways to communicate
your needs to one another.
To cultivate intimacy.
And to develop the tools to sustain
that intimacy going forward.
The first step in rebuilding a marriage
is tearing away some of the scar tissue
that has built up over the years.
It can be very painful, but it's worth it.
I Iike to think of it...
The metaphor of when you have a deviated
septum and you can't breathe?
You have to break the nose
in order to fix it.
(CHUCKLES) ARNOLD: Charlatan!
No, he's worse than a charlatan.
He's Iike one of those...
(SIGHS)
Says he's "honed his method."
The only thing he's honed
is making sure that if you don't walk in
with a marriage-destroying problem,
you won't Ieave without one.
He's Iike those moisturizing eye
drops that make your eyes dry.
$4,000. That could have been a new roof!
Did you Iook at his credentials or even
read that brochure that you...
I mean, my God!
Unbelievable! I'd Iike to have a
Iook at this guy's tax returns.
Whoo-hoo.
Oh, don't. Come on, just don't.
You have to stop yelling at me.
I'm not yelling! Who's yelling?
Hey. Welcome back.
I'll have an Arnold Palmer
and a tuna melt.
You sure you're ready to commit?
I'll have the soup and salad, please.
Okey-dokey.
$9 for a tuna melt, it's canned tuna,
a slab of cheese and toast.
Feld's probably getting kickbacks.
(LAUGHING)
I saw a grocery store near the motel.
We can buy some cold cuts,
eat in the room.
Are you guys here for Bernie?
Mmm-hmm. We come back every year.
For a tune-up.
Oh.
In case you're wondering,
we are never coming back.
I mean, if I had ever said so much
as even one unkind word...
Do you want the hard salami or
do you want this kind here?
I don't care.
I mean, my brother, Ralph,
if Angela had ever taken him to
one of these things, whew.
You. I just hope you remember
this next year
when you want to tell me that
I never help and I never...
I'm getting the Limburger,
you don't have to eat it.
And I'll tell you one thing,
we're going to go to Florida and see my mother
next year for the full two weeks.
You have forfeited your right to complain.
Oh, boy! I was thinking
about you the whole...
Get away from the door! I'm getting!
(MOANING)
What happened to you?
I had to do that thing and
the handle came off.
Oh, me, too! And it broke, and
that kid, he played bad.
(CLANKING)
(SIGHS)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
KAY: It was a course at the university.
Beginning Accounting.
And Arnold was the teaching assistant.
What was your first impression
of Kay, Arnold?
She was pretty. Very pretty.
What else?
She probably shouldn't
major in accounting.
And Thanksgiving passed, no ring,
and my dad said, "Well, you
picked the wrong horse."
But two days Iater, I found it.
He had hidden it, the ring,
in a cinnamon bun.
(LAUGHS)
I was so surprised.
What was holding you up, Arnold?
Well, it's not Iike buying a car.
And that winter, Arnold
threw his back out.
I was helping Brad paint his room and...
He said he would be more comfortable
sleeping alone.
That hurt Iike a son of a bitch.
But then, his back got better.
It still bothers me a Iittle
bit. But also I...
He snores.
I have that sleep apnea deal.
So he just stayed in the
guest room after that.
Yeah.
Did you ask him to come back?
No. I didn't think he'd...
No.
Hmm.
So it's been a Iong time since
you've slept in the same room.
When was the Iast time you had sex?
Yeah.
Uh, I have no idea.
Well, Iet's try to think about it.
It was four years ago, almost
five years ago. In September.
When Brad moved out after college.
September 22nd. I remember thinking,
"He's moving out on the
first day of fall."
We get the picture, okay?
This makes you uncomfortable talking
about this, doesn't it?
Well, sue me because I don't want to talk
about having sex with my wife
with a total stranger.
You want to talk about it at all?
What else do you remember
about that day, Kay?
How'd you make Iove?
How?
DR. FELD: Was it the missionary
position? Arnold on top?
KAY: Oh, yeah. (SIGHS)
DR. FELD: Was it always
missionary position?
Oh, please.
KAY: Mostly, yes. Mmm-hmm.
Were there particular things
that you enjoyed doing?
Mostly it was the same.
Was your sex Iife satisfying for you?
Well, it was fine.
Yeah. AII right.
Okay.
I would Iike to assign you
your first exercise.
What... What kind of...
Tonight, I would Iike you
to spend a period of time
with your arms around one another.
(STAMMERING) Well, what's the... Why?
Because I want you to remember what
it's Iike to touch each other.
Do you think you can do that?
Arnold?
Well, maybe that's what...
I mean, forced intimacy...
Is that really...
It's not forced intimacy.
That's what it sounds Iike. Oh...
What? We're supposed to be truthful
here. DR. FELD: You are.
Although... So what I'm saying is
that I don't think this exercise,
or whatever you wanna call it,
sounds Iike something...
It's not forced. If I do that
just because somebody tells
me to, what is the point?
I don't think I Iike the idea
of anybody telling me...
I mean, the whole idea of this exercise
thing is totally ridiculous to me.
I'm not a trained monkey!
You're a bully! What?
Since you got here, all you've
done is make me feel...
Kay? Kay.
...terrible.
I've had it.
Kay!
# How do I get the man in you to see
# I'm so much more
# Than the mother in me?
Kay. Kay.
Kay, come on. This is infantile.
I think you're infantile!
Look... Where are you going?
This is insane.
No, it's not!
Where are you going?
# I want to be your lady
# Oh, I want to get swept away
# Let me cry for a change
# Don't need no Ione survivor
# I need someone by my side
# We don't have to make it perfect
# Oh, but maybe we could try
# Love me for the woman that I am
# And I will love you
# For being my man #
You can come in. We don't bite.
What can I get you?
Um...
Would you recommend the
red wine or the white?
Do you Iike red wine?
Yeah.
Then I'd go with the white.
(EVERYBODY PLAYS THE FOOL PLAYING)
# Everybody plays the fool
# Sometime
# There's no exception to the rule
# Listen, baby
And so, I was just hoping that,
maybe if...
Trying to get the old magic back?
Yeah.
Did you ever have it?
# How can you help it
# When the music starts to play
You want the audio tour? It's $4.95.
The thing is
we really don't have sex, mostly.
At all.
That's it?
(CHUCKLES)
AII right. Who in here is not having sex?
Not me.
Mike, I know you're not getting any.
(LAUGHTER)
This one's on us. KAY: Thank you.
# Everybody, baby
# Everybody plays the fool
# Sometime #
(LOCK CLICKING)
(SIGHS)
I'm back!
I see that.
(HUMMING)
I went to the museum.
Did you?
Was it interesting?
Extremely.
Of course, if you want to go, you'll
have to do it on your own.
Mmm-hmm. I'm getting ready for bed.
(WATER RUNNING)
(ARNOLD SIGHS)
Where'd you go this afternoon?
Oh.
Just around.
I thought you wanted to do that thing.
But if you don't want to do
it, I sure don't care.
AII right, I'll just go to bed.
I want to do it.
I guess we should do it there.
Mmm-hmm.
Well, I guess I'll get in.
Maybe this is enough.
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
Yeah, probably enough.
I was just getting the Iight.
(SIGHS)
(BOTH SIGHING)
And then we did the exercise...
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, that was...
...and we woke up.
Yeah.
And we were in the same bed.
Yeah, it was...
It was comfortable. Yep.
This is good. Really good.
By taking some time to yourselves,
you were able to relate
better as a couple.
And you both did it without even trying.
Well, she wanted to spend time apart.
Yeah. I was so mad.
Mad as a wet cat.
But, you know, it was nice, wasn't it?
To do something on your own, you know.
Great, you two. Really great.
I'm thrilled with the progress
that you've made.
And I think it's going to
make it that much easier
to proceed to the next step.
Next step. That's great.
Let's get with it.
I mean, we're doing so well, we might
be able to get out of here early.
Okay, next step. What is it?
Write a poem? Hold hands in
public? Sing a serenade?
Sex.
We're going to talk extensively
about your sexual history.
When it started. What it included.
What it didn't include.
If you had orgasms, vaginally
or otherwise.
If you had issues around sexuality
or performance.
Whether you talked about sex or during it.
What your fantasies are.
If you ever acted on fantasies.
Brought toys or sex games
into the bedroom.
Brought sex out of the bedroom.
And once we've explored
all of those things,
I will give you your first sexual,
not sex, but sexual, exercise.
AII right?
Let's get started.
Arnold, would you Iike to begin?
Do you...
I think we ought to stop
this right now before...
We should just get our things and go.
I'll go first. I will.
Fine.
Terrific.
AII right.
Kay, Iet's talk about what
you Iiked sexually.
(STAMMERS)
Was intercourse pleasurable for you?
Sometimes.
Did you have orgasms?
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
Sometimes.
Do you masturbate? KAY: No.
Not anymore.
Why not?
Because at a certain point, I just...
(SIGHS)
I think I didn't want to think about
sex or about Arnold, even.
It just made me sad thinking
about what I missed and...
What about your fantasy Iife?
Do you have fantasies?
Mmm-hmm.
What?
My fantasy is that, you know,
we'll renew our vows.
Just a Iittle small ceremony,
on a beach, maybe.
Right.
Maybe with the kids there.
Right. And do you have sexual fantasies?
Imagine scenarios?
Having sex on a mountain top
or dressed all in Ieather?
(LAUGHS)
That's funny.
So, no.
I mainly think about Arnold
and things that we've done.
You never have fantasies about things that
you haven't done ever?
No.
Okay. Okay.
AII right. Arnold, Iet's talk about you.
What do you enjoy sexually?
Sex.
I'm going to ask you to get more specific.
Okay, fine.
So you enjoy the actual sexual
act? Intercourse?
Yeah.
Missionary style.
(SIGHS)
Would you prefer that to, say, oral sex?
I guess so.
Was oral sex an option? Is that something
that you would do regularly?
(STAMMERING) No, I, I, I, I don't... No.
I was not very... I'm...
(CLEARS THROAT) I was not
comfortable with that.
Giving or receiving?
Huh?
Um, I don't know. Both, I guess.
Okay. So, now you, Arnold, would
have been open to that.
What does it matter? She just
said it was not an option.
DR. FELD: What about problems
in the bedroom?
Have you ever experienced
erectile dysfunction?
(LAUGHS) No.
Use medications Iike Viagra?
No.
As we age, sometimes, it becomes...
It works.
What would you say was working
in your sex Iife
when you were sexual together? (SIGHS)
For instance, would you climax? Yeah.
Were there things that you
wanted to do, but didn't?
You're kidding, right?
Well?
I mean, who says no to that?
Right. Then go ahead.
Uh, what, you want a whole Iist?
Sure.
Uh...
I'm not really coming up with anything.
There are no wrong answers here.
(SIGHS)
Well...
If you could have anything you wanted
in your sex Iife with Kay,
what would that be?
Did you have fantasies that you didn't
feel comfortable telling her about?
Of course.
Well, I guess I used to think
about Kay giving me a...
(SIGHS)
Giving me oral...
You know...
At work. Under the desk.
At tax time.
So, public places.
No, not just public places.
No? Okay. Good, good. Very good.
What else?
(CLEARING THROAT) A threesome.
With? The neighbor.
Helen?
No, Carol.
Carol?
Carol with the corgis?
Very good, Arnold. Both of you.
I am going to give you your next exercise.
You think we ought to be sitting for this?
Well,
maybe Iying down.
You want to go first?
Do you want me to?
Six of one, half dozen of the other.
(EXHALES)
(SIGHS)
Is that all right? Fine.
Does it feel good?
It feels Iike you're petting a dog.
That tickles. Don't...
Sorry. Okay.
Don't go there. I'm sorry.
(CLEARS THROAT)
(SIGHS)
I really don't see the point of...
I mean, this Dr. Feld...
Mmm-hmm.
...you think he has other Iegitimate
doctors here who agree with him,
or think he could be just
some sort of a renegade?
You, I mean, well, us,
your average person, you could be being
treated by someone who's psychotic.
Or maybe someone who's
just a very average,
or even below-average practitioner.
Uh...
(GROANS)
I think we better stop.
What?
You sure? Yeah, I think I just...
I'm going to bed.
(SIGHS)
(MOANING SOFTLY)
(KAY BREATHING HEAVILY)
(MOANING)
(SHUDDERING BREATHS)
So, Iast night you had
the touching exercise.
How did that go?
How was that for you?
AII right, Iet's talk about it. Arnold.
How was it having Kay touch you?
It was fine, I guess.
Did it feel good?
Did you get aroused?
How did that make you feel?
Aroused.
What about you, Kay? How
did that make you feel?
Oh, I got aroused, too.
Did you know that, Arnold?
How am I supposed to know what
she's thinking or feeling?
How was it for you, Kay,
when Arnold touched you?
Oh, we didn't get to that part.
Why not? Why?
Because we just stopped.
We did the exercise. It
was done. We did it.
The exercise was to spend a period of
time touching each other sensually.
It sounds Iike Kay touched
you and then you stopped.
Did you talk about it?
Whose idea was it to stop?
It was mine, okay. I just wanted
to stop. I wanted...
AII right. Okay. I didn't
want to do it anymore.
AII right. Well, Iet's go deeper, then.
Let's not go deeper.
It's not enough to just be
here. You have to try.
I'm not trying? I flew 1 ,500 miles up
here for this and I'm not trying?
AII right. Well, then, Iet's
just try to figure this out.
Why did you want Kay to stop?
I wanted her to stop because...
Were you afraid?
No! What do I have to be afraid of?
Fear... Hey, re-engaging can be...
I'm not afraid of my own wife.
Fine. Well, that's okay. It's okay.
It's normal to feel fear.
I did not feel fear!
Then why did you stop Kay
from touching you?
Let me tell you something.
I am done with this for today.
I am done.
I'll see you back at the room.
(BIRDS SQUAWKING)
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
Kay?
What are you doing?
Dr. Feld said he'd give us a refund.
What percent?
What?
Did he say he'd give us back
the whole payment, or...
Half. Half.
I don't know what you thought
was going to happen here.
What did you...
I mean, there's no magic
pill or wand or...
He's just a guy with an office.
Mmm-hmm.
It's ridiculous. You come up
here, you spend one week
and you're supposed to, what,
have a new marriage?
It's a setup. You're set up for failure.
Then you feel bad about failing.
You see that, right?
You can't win.
Why the hell did you bring us here?
You know how you think you're always
headed towards something?
You think, "When we get married,"
or, "When we have kids,"
or, "When the kids go and
it's just us again..."
You know, there's always something
to Iook forward to.
And one day, I realized that we are
not going towards anything anymore.
And I guess I was just not willing
to Iet go of things getting
better anymore.
Not yet.
Maybe you just don't get a choice,
you know?
Maybe you just don't get a choice.
Don't forget your razor in the bathroom.
You're back.
Let's talk about that. ARNOLD: Let's not.
Let's just... I'm back, all right?
That ought to be enough.
It isn't, actually.
What do you want from me, blood?
You have a Iot of anger, Arnold.
What do you think you're so angry about?
I'm angry about everything.
I'm angry about being here.
Why? What are you afraid will happen?
You want to know what? Fine.
What I'm afraid will happen here
is what probably happens in every
goddamn therapist's office
every time any poor couple goes in there.
You say whatever thing, because
somebody Iike you
is dragging it out of them and
then you can't take it back.
There are things in this Iife that
you don't say for a reason.
Like what? What would you say?
Uh...
Tell me.
I want to know. I want to know.
It's worse not knowing when there are
things that you're holding back
you won't say because you think
I'm too fragile or whatever.
No, it's not that. It's...
Something I can't hear.
AII right, fine! AII right.
She has a way... Say it to Kay.
You have a way of saying that
something's up to me
and then when I make a decision
and it's something you don't Iike,
you don't actually say anything,
but you sure do get your point across.
Well, can I just say, I don't
Iike... Is it my turn?
I don't Iike the way that we always do
something for Christmas,
or an anniversary,
that's a joint gift for the
house, Iike a water heater.
You needed that water heater.
Yes, but you did, too. You shower.
Why is that a special gift for me?
Hmm?
And I hate watching golf. I
do. I think it's boring.
And the shows where they talk
about golf, even worse.
It's Iike being married to ESPN.
And when you eat ranch chips,
your breath smells.
I Iike ranch chips.
And I hate it when you rub up against me,
Iike you just expect me to do it.
"Come on, Iet's go."
Hell, it got to the point I was afraid
to make any kind of move.
If I even so much as tried to kiss you...
Well, you never kiss me.
You don't want to kiss me,
you just want "it."
Not me.
(SIGHS) You know, he always has
his eyes squeezed tight shut.
It's not me. You just want "it."
Hell, yes, I want "it." You can
bet your Iife I want "it."
So screw me for wanting to
have sex with my wife!
And, you know, it's not pleasant
to do that with somebody who
doesn't want to do it.
But you never saw me...
What?
Go on, Arnold.
I didn't complain because
Kay didn't want sex.
Love. That's what I wanted. Not just sex.
I wanted you.
Well, what about all those
years I wanted you?
AII those goddamn years.
And I didn't cheat.
I didn't go to hookers.
I watched a Iittle porn, but who doesn't?
I was good. I did the right thing.
Now you're bringing me here for...
You're the one who stopped, not me.
Yeah, for a while I stopped,
yes, but you stopped, too.
You did. You stopped.
Well, you don't just turn
it on and off, you know?
Maybe when it's off, it's just off.
Off.
(SIGHS)
I want you to do something for me.
I want you to tell me about
the best sex you ever had.
The time that you can remember that
was the best. Either of you.
Even if it wasn't very good.
Even if it was terrible.
Best time that you remember.
Well...
Hmm.
Oh.
I remember one time.
Kay was pregnant.
Where were you? In the kitchen.
She was making soup.
And I came in there and she kept
saying she had to stir her soup.
And pretty soon, she forgot
about that soup.
What do you remember, Kay?
Well, we were on the floor, and...
And it was slow.
He... He put some dish
towels behind my head
so my head wouldn't bang on...
Wouldn't bump up against the
bottom of the cabinet.
That was... (LAUGHS)
Arnold, what else do you
remember about that?
Just wanting her.
Standing there in the kitchen.
Happy.
Beautiful.
She had a Iittle apron which was getting
to be too Iittle because her
belly was getting so big.
You were very attracted to her then.
Yeah, I was, and...
Are you still?
Uh, I don't... I don't know.
It's been a Iong time since we've...
I don't Iook Iike I did then.
No, it's not that.
No. I never could Iose all the weight.
You Iook fine. I just don't think
of it in that way anymore.
About her that way anymore.
Well, of course, I...
DR. FELD: No, it's not "of course."
Sometimes when a connection is Iost,
we forget how to want one another.
Do you still want Kay?
Well, yes!
Do you still fantasize about her?
(STAMMERING) You mean, now?
These days.
I don't know.
I don't... I...
I had one.
I had a fantasy.
Was it...
It was...
It was... It was...
Like you said. It was just us,
and it was really different.
Something we've never done before.
Something new.
I'm going to ask you to take a Ieap
of faith and try something.
It is most Iikely way out
of your comfort zone.
Try to think of it in terms of...
Remember the metaphor of a nose breaking?
It's the nose.
(SHUSHING)
Well, you can't break a
nose slowly, can you?
(MEN SPEAKING FRENCH ONSCREEN)
Of course there was a problem
with the popcorn popper.
Oh.
(COUGHS)
Thank you.
I don't see why you can't tell
me what you're planning on.
Because he said it was fine this way.
It just makes me uncomfortable not to know
what I'm going to be asked to do.
When it's your turn, you
can do what you want.
What if we don't do the exercise again?
We're moving at a rapid clip here. Okay.
It's your ball game.
I'll tell you one thing.
You would never get me into a French
movie if we were at home.
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
(ARNOLD LAUGHING)
This is pretty good.
Oh.
Sorry.
(UNZIPPING)
(KAY EXHALES)
(CHUCKLING)
(GROANS)
I'm sorry, I can't see!
You just need to take it easy.
Watch it with the teeth!
I'm sorry. Sorry, I didn't mean...
It's all right.
I can't see.
Oh, God. (SIGHS)
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
(GRUNTS)
(SIGHS)
Hey, you can hurt someone!
(SOBBING) I'm so sorry! I can't do this.
Kay. Kay. Kay.
Kay, it's okay.
It's not okay!
It's not okay.
(SIGHS)
Kay, Iisten.
Kay, this is not a big deal.
I should...
I'm not good at anything.
There's not anything to be good at!
I don't know how to be good at anything.
Listen, wait. I'm not sexy!
Wait. Yes, you are very...
What? What? Yes, what?
Maybe you just don't have...
Maybe there's just certain things
you're not experienced at.
Kay!
I must have Iooked so stupid!
But how did you feel?
Like a fake.
I'm just not... I'm...
I just can't do that.
Well, the whole situation
was just dangerous,
with those cup holders, and
seat backs going forth,
and back and forth and the cramped space,
the concrete floor, those people
everywhere. (GROANS)
That's not me.
I just can't be a person who commits
an illegal act in a movie theater.
It's just... Is that really
who I have to be?
It's not about being a sex object.
It's about pleasing the man you Iove.
And Ietting him please you.
Well, I don't even know how to do that!
Ultimately, I think you
have to ask yourself,
"Is this person worth more
to me than my pride?"
Oh, yeah. I mean...
Yes.
Kay's putting it all on the Iine here.
What are you putting on the Iine?
Everything.
He is everything.
But I'm really Ionely.
And I think
to be with somebody and not
really with him is...
I think I might be Iess
Ionely if I were alone.
Do you want to be alone? No!
I don't know.
You wouldn't think it would be so hard
to just touch somebody that you Iove.
But it is. It's really hard.
Okay. You know what?
I'm going to give you something
that may help with your anxiety.
You can pick this up in town.
(BELLS TINKLE)
Hey. Hi. Hello.
Oh, we got a discount on trade
paperbacks in the front,
if you're interested. Oh.
Are you Iooking for anything special?
Not really.
AII right, just Iet me know.
(DOOR OPENS)
(BELLS TINKLE)
Do you have a title, miss?
No, not... I'm just...
I was gonna say if you got
a title, I can Iook it up.
We're short on shelf space up here,
so we have a Iot of stuff in the back.
Actually, I'm Iooking for
Sex Tips for Straight
Women from a Gay Man.
Oh, yeah. Dr. Feld has us
keep those in stock.
Oh. Okay.
Can I give you cash?
Yeah, that works.
Couples come to me for two reasons.
To help them save their marriage, or...
Or what?
Or to help them end it.
When one person is this unhappy,
the marriage has to restore some
sort of equilibrium, or...
Or what? Are you trying to tell
me my marriage is over?
Because I'm not gonna pay
you for one more session
just because you threaten me,
you smug Iittle prick!
Arnold, your wife is very unhappy.
And I'm not saying that she'll ever Ieave.
I just don't want you to have anything
to regret should she...
I'm simply saying the moment is here
and you have to ask yourself,
"Have I done all I could?"
Have you, Arnold?
Is this the best that you can do?
(SIGHS)
I'm sorry, there's...
Listen, I can... Maybe a Iittle
tip would help, you know.
You want to buy a table?
I need it.
So whatever...
Look, I need this.
Look, I'm really sorry about whatever
is going on in your marriage,
but I don't think the dinner
was going to save it.
I need a table.
I need it, and I'm not going to Ieave
from right here until I get it.
MIKE: We're going to need more space here,
so I want you to push it further
against the wall. AII right?
AII right.
(PHONE RINGING)
Hello. Captain Jack's.
I'm sorry to hear that, Mr. Fletcher.
What time was that for?
Uh, all right.
Well, thanks for calling. I do hope
you come and visit us sometime.
Thank you very much. Bye.
AII right.
That goes away.
Well?
Got a waiting Iist. Got to call them.
You got a waiting Iist? You will give
me that table, so help me God!
Are you ready?
I'm almost ready.
(ARNOLD COUGHS)
(SIGHS)
You really ready? 'Cause
I don't want to be Iate.
Yes, I'm really ready.
Very pretty. Thank you.
You Iook really nice, too. Yeah, I do.
You handsome devil.
(GASPS) (CHUCKLES)
Oh, Arnold. It's gorgeous!
(ELEGANT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)
I just can't get over it!
You Iike it?
Mmm.
This is just exactly...
A Iittle different than the Econo Lodge?
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
Completely different.
That place reminds me of when we
drove down to see your mother,
before we were married.
And we stayed at that Iittle place...
You know, it was the only
place that was open.
It was a truck stop.
In Albuquerque?
Oh, I remember that. It had orange walls.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
That was the first time you said it.
First time you said you Ioved me.
In that Iittle motel.
You know, before you said it...
Well, I didn't want to be the
one who said it first,
but I just... I had to say it!
So every time we talked on the phone
I would say it to the phone
after we hung up!
Really?
Yes, I really did that.
I figured if I ever said anything Iike
that, you'd take off running.
What?
You could have had your pick.
I didn't think you'd ever want me.
I never wanted anything more.
(KAY AND ARNOLD LAUGHING)
What I don't get is how he remembers
to talk Iike that.
"Consider the metaphor of the nose."
I know. It must be so hard for him.
I wonder if he talks to
his wife Iike that.
That would be...
"Mildred, I find it very interesting
that you are naked."
Can I bring you anything else?
Do you... No, I'm fine.
Okay. No, just the check.
Unless you want to. No, check, please.
(SIGHS)
Might get chilly on the way back.
It's been getting cold at night.
Well, the thing is, I've...
(CLEARS THROAT)
I don't know how you'll take this,
but I got us a room.
Here.
You did? Mmm-hmm.
The front desk has toothbrushes.
I asked them.
I thought maybe just for
a night, it'd be...
You might want to...
So,
after this, we can just...
(FIRE CRACKLING)
Like it?
(GASPS) Gosh!
Oh, my gosh.
Oh!
Look at this.
Look at this!
Here's some strawberries.
You had to get them,
so here they are.
Anyway, you want some?
Huh? Strawberries.
I'm kind of full.
Yeah, me, too. And they knew that.
It's a rip off, really. You spend 15...
That's okay. You know, I think
I would Iike to have some.
Yeah? Yeah.
Okay.
Do you want to eat them
at the table? Okay.
Or we could eat them in front
of the fire. Okay.
Okay.
Um... Oh.
Oh. (LAUGHS)
Sweet.
Mmm.
Is it good?
Mmm! It's good. It's fresh.
Good.
Chocolaty. Good.
Mmm.
You want some? There's champagne,
if you want.
Yeah. I know... I'm sorry. Go ahead.
No, you go.
There's champagne.
You want some? I think I
would Iike that, Arnold.
Ohh!
(LAUGHING)
I guess you have something in mind there.
Mmm-hmm.
I do.
Hold that thought. What?
Hold that thought.
Oh. Okay.
(LET'S STAY TOGETHER PLAYING)
# Let's stay together
# I'm
# I'm so in love with you
(LAUGHING)
Come here.
# Whatever you want to do
# Is all right with me
# 'Cause you make me feel
# So brand-new
# And I
# Want to spend my life with you
# Let me say that since
# Baby, since we've been together
# Ooh
# Loving you forever
(BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY)
# Is what I need
# Let me be the one
# You come running to
# I'll never be
I want... I want...
You want to...
AII right. You want to... You want to...
Yeah.
# Ooh, baby, let's
# Let's stay together
# Loving you whether
# Whether
# Times are good or bad
# Happy or sad
# Ooh, ooh #
(SONG FADES)
Look at me.
(STIFLED SOBBING)
You Iied.
No.
When Dr. Feld asked you if you
were still attracted to me.
It was when you Iooked at me.
Just now.
You Iooked in my face.
That had nothing to do with it.
That's when you stopped.
DR. FELD: Setbacks are a natural part of the
process. They never feel good, though.
(SIGHS)
I know you feel Iike you've failed,
but Iook where you failed. You
fumbled on the one-yard Iine.
When you got here, you weren't
even on the playing field.
You were somewhere in the parking Iot.
So I think you're ready to follow
up with a therapist at home.
I can recommend somebody really good.
I have patients who never should
have gotten married.
And you are not those people.
Even great marriages have terrible years.
So bad that you're tempted
to just give up.
But don't.
Hold on.
There will come a time when you'll
look back at this moment
as the prelude to something fuller
and richer than you've ever dreamed.
(SIGHS)
(TV PLAYING)
Soames! Yo.
Hey, how was that vacation? Good!
Yeah. Where was it, Vermont? Maine.
Maine. That's right. You said
Kay Iikes the ocean.
So, how was it? You going to go back?
Um, probably not. It's
a Iittle overpriced.
Yeah. I hear you, but, hey, if it keeps
the missus happy another year,
I'd say it's well worth the money spent!
Yeah.
Jon Ross came in today.
Mmm-hmm.
You'd think it was the first
time he'd ever heard that
October 15th was the deadline
for an extension.
The guy never filed on time in his Iife!
And we have the same conversation
every year.
Every goddamn year.
For 17 years.
Can you imagine that?
KRAIG KANN ON TV: Hi, again,
everybody. School of Golf
is back in session for another week.
This week, it is Chapter 24, "It's
AII About the Putting Stroke."
I'm Kraig Kann. This is the
professor, Martin Hall.
Putting. We're rolling it tonight.
Well, yes. We all want to
hit it fewer times...
(SIGHS)
EILEEN: So you guys had fun, huh?
Kind of hard to get back
into the old routine.
Mmm.
What is it?
You Iook Iike you could cry.
No!
Do you still need somebody to take
care of that cat when you go away?
Oh, we already got the girl next door.
But I don't trust her. She's not bright.
Well, I could do it.
Really? Mmm-hmm.
Oh, gosh, are you sure?
Because I think I might have
a spare key with me.
And maybe I could stay over.
A night, or two nights.
Well, sure. You do that.
I saw The Caine Mutiny is on Iater.
Mmm-hmm.
You want to watch it? I don't think so.
I'm just going to go up to bed.
Kay.
I'm just a Iittle tired.
Is it really all that bad?
It's just expectations.
Like one of those makeovers, you know?
You Iook different for a minute
and then go back to yourself, right?
Right?
I don't know if I can.
What?
I don't know if I can go back.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS)
You sure this is a gallon can?
Yes, sir, it's a Iard can. Just
took it from the pantry, sir.
I suppose you're wondering
why I called this meeting.
As you all know by now, we had an excellent
dessert for dinner tonight,
ice cream and frozen strawberries.
An hour ago, I sent Whittaker to the
pantry to bring me another portion.
(WHY? PLAYING)
# Why?
# How many times
# Do I have to try to tell you
# That I'm sorry for the things I've done?
# Ooh
# But when I start to try to tell you
# That's when you have to tell me
# Hey, this kind of trouble's
# Only just begun
# Yeah
(STIFLED SOBBING)
# I tell myself too many times
# Why don't you ever learn to
keep your big mouth shut?
# That's why it hurts so
bad to hear the words
# That keep on falling from your mouth
# Falling from your mouth
# Tell me why
# This is the book I never read
# These are the words I never said
# This is the path I'll never tread
# These are the dreams I'll dream instead
# This is the joy that's seldom spread
# These are the tears, the tears we shed
# This is the fear, this is the dread
# These are the contents of my head
# And these are the years
that we have spent
# And this is what they represent
# This is how I feel
# Do you know how I feel?
# 'Cause I don't think you know how I feel
# I don't think you know what I feel
# Why?
# I don't think you know what I feel #
Kay.
(SIGHS)
(MOANING)
You are beautiful. (LAUGHS)
You... You...
(GASPING)
(MOANS)
(SIZZLING)
I'm Iate.
Oh. Okay.
Well, have a nice day.
Okay.
Chicken tonight. Good.
With potatoes and maybe some spinach.
Good. No spinach. (CHUCKLES)
Okay. 6:00? 5:30.
What's the matter?
What'd you forget?
(KAY MOANS SOFTLY)
(KAY GASPING)
(GRUNTS)
Have a nice day.
Arnold!
Arnie!
Hey! Hi!
Carol!
You got another corgi!
I know. This is Emma.
But three's the Iimit. I'm done.
How was y'all's trip?
Our trip was... Our trip was really...
You should come over tonight and
we'll tell you all about it.
That'd be great. I'd Iove to.
Yeah.
AII right. I'll see you guys Iater.
KAY: Okay.
(LAUGHING)
That's not going to happen.
Kay. Arnold.
We are all here today to witness
the renewals of your vows of matrimony.
We are thrilled, and I especially
am very thrilled,
to be here and to be a part
of this very special day.
KAY: Arnold, after 32 years of marriage,
I can honestly say that I Iove
you more than I ever did.
The day I met you changed my Iife.
It made my Iife.
And now I can't imagine Iiving
my Iife without you.
It wouldn't be any kind of Iife at all.
When I think about spending the
rest of my Iife with you,
I only regret it won't be Iong enough.
So I want to now
make this next chapter
of our Iives together
something that we'll both cherish.
I vow to watch more golf with
you without complaining.
(LAUGHTER)
I vow to watch Iess golf,
and to buy you good presents
that aren't for the house.
Maybe Iike jewelry.
Like jewelry.
Jewelry. Yes.
I vow not to cut my hair
any shorter than it is,
'cause I know you Iike it Iong.
Longer.
I vow not to complain so much.
If I can help it,
because sometimes there's something
that really needs to be complained about.
And I vow to go to one
of those sleep studies
Iike you've been asking me to go to.
And I vow to take you
somewhere once a year
that's more than 200 miles away from home
and isn't to see a family member.
Now, on this wonderful day,
I give you the rest of my Iife
and I thank God every day
that you're in it.
And I vow to tell you how I feel,
not just when you ask me.
And I'll tell you how I feel about this.
I Iove it. I Iove you.
(MOUTHING)
(LAUGHING)
We will have the ceremonial
breaking of the nose.
(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)
See? That wasn't so hard.
Thank you.
Yes, a big boy.
Congratulations.
(BRIGHT SIDE OF THE ROAD PLAYING)
# We'll be lovers once again
# On the bright side of the road
(LAUGHTER)
KAY: I'm so glad to meet you!
Finally!
Brad, Brad, Brad!
# From the dark end of the street
# To the bright side of the road
# Well, into this Iife we're born
# Baby, sometimes
# Sometimes we don't know why
# And time seems to go by so fast
# In the twinkling of an eye
# Let's enjoy it while we can
# Won't you help me share my load?
# Help me share my load
# From the dark end of the street
# To the bright side of the road #