Hotel Poseidon (2021) Movie Script
1
Off.
Turn it off.
Hey!
Enough! Off!
Turn it off!
What's wrong?
Stop it!
Stop? It's eight in the morning.
I've only just started.
Turn it off!
Stop it! It's been going on all day!
Turn it off!
It's fun.
Some collect stamps or butterflies.
I do...
- I'm not hurting anyone, am I?
- Turn it off.
Is something up?
What?
It's a sincere question.
Is something up?
- What?
- Yes.
Did something happen?
It's none of my business,
but why have neighbors if not to...
What?!
Mind if I ask you something?
Do you have a hobby?
Do you collect something?
Do you go out much?
For some fresh air?
Got something to look after? A turtle?
A plant or something?
Yeah, go ahead and laugh, but plants...
Do you have someone?
You got a girlfriend?
Or a boyfriend perhaps?
Truth be told, I don't know you
and you don't know me,
but I think your problem is... faith.
I'm not talking
about Catholicism or Buddhism.
I'm talking about personal belief.
A belief in something,
but mostly in yourself.
Do you get what I'm saying?
Without that... you uhm... well...
But a belief in others as well.
Or you can't get past your own thinking
and the older you get,
the narrower, here, in your head...
Let's make a deal.
Hello?
Do something today
you'd normally never do
and open yourself to it. That's all.
A way towards tomorrow.
Towards something fresh.
Never mind the future. That's too big.
Even tomorrow might seem... whoa.
Sure, I get it.
But do something you'd normally never do.
You got this! Come on!
Get out of that box, man!
And see what happens!
I know it isn't very profound,
but it's all I can do.
Start there, and don't look back.
Looking back leads
to demise, to the abyss.
To live without prospect, without
a joy of life, you don't want that, pal.
That's...
You might as well throw in the towel.
Sorry. Sorry.
I don't know you. I apologize.
But you might as well
throw in the towel because...
You'll have a miserable life every day, stand
in front of the mirror in the morning,
look at yourself...
and wonder, that is if you would
even ask yourself the question...
Is this it?
No way.
For Pete's sake. Goddammit.
You're kidding me.
Look what the cat dragged in.
The hero.
I've been fingerbanging like crazy
all afternoon. Where were you?
Sleeping.
And?
Do you feel rested?
There's porridge if you want some.
Are you coming tonight?
That depends on you,
whether I'll be coming tonight.
- Get me?
- Yes.
I just got called to a job.
Big clean-up.
A couple.
Been lying there for a week.
I can clean all I like, but that stench...
I'll carry it around for a month.
It gets everywhere. Under my nails.
My hair.
I was thinking of shaving it off.
What do you reckon?
A buzz cut, hm?
How about it?
Anyway...
You checking out my feet, Dave?
I got five minutes.
- I can't.
- Can't do, won't do.
Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Get a move on.
Two minutes on the clock or shall I do it?
- I can't.
- Dave!
When did you get so fucking boring?
Hello?
- It's shut!
- I just need a second.
- No, no.
- Can you please open up a second?
It's shut.
Hello? Please?
- It's shut.
- Just for a second. Just open up a second.
Dutchie.
Very nice of you to open up.
- Yes, my travel guide...
- Yes, but we're closed.
Oh. What time do you open?
- Shut!
- Shut?
Yes, it's no longer a hotel.
Oh.
- It'd just be for one night.
- Yes, but... no.
- No?
- No.
Come on. Just for one night?
No? Sure of it?
But...
Because... you have rooms, don't you?
I assume?
How about it?
One night.
I can pay.
Not the full price
because I don't have money.
Well, I do have some money.
- Are you the...
- Yes.
Of this... hotel.
It's uh... Ow.
Yes, it's uh...
Yes.
Perhaps uh...
It might be useful
if I filled something out?
If I filled something out now?
- Name?
- Yes.
- Address. Uh... Duration...
- Your pen doesn't work.
- Duration of your stay.
- Your pen doesn't work.
Oh well... Never mind.
- ID.
- ID?
- Yes, a piece of...
- Right.
Identification. Yes. Thank you.
- Nora.
- Yes.
Seven.
- Seven.
- Oh right. Seven.
- My favorite number.
- Really?
Elevator to the second floor,
end of the hall, last room on the right.
- Next to room six.
- No. Next to room five.
- Oh right.
- Because the even numbers are on one side.
- And the odd ones on the other.
- Yes.
Anything else I can...
for you?
- Yes. Could I have a... a cup of coffee?
- Just a second.
Okay.
Just a second.
I'll make fresh coffee.
Do you live here?
Temporarily.
Right.
I get it.
And what do you do?
- I'm a landscape gardener.
- A landscape gardener? Right.
That's quite a coincidence
because my father uh...
He collects fish.
- Collected fish.
- Oh.
- Why did he stop?
- Well, uh... He died.
- Oh, sorry.
- No need.
- No, sorry.
- No need.
I was a kid and this is his... hotel.
The family hotel, anyway.
I ran out of mugs, so I uh...
- Milk?
- Yes, please.
Okay.
Whoa!
Hello.
And who are you?
Sorry, I ran out of milk.
- Who is this?
- Aunt Lucy. My father's eldest sister.
Or is she on my mother's side?
I don't really know if she is family,
but she's old.
It's a miracle she's still alive.
- She's dead.
- No, no.
- She is.
- No, Aunt Lucy...
She...
She's dead.
I...
I have to get some of my stuff outside.
Thank you.
Hello? Hi, Mommy. Mom.
It's Dave.
Aunt Lucy is ill, so...
There. That's all. Call me back. Bye.
Yes? Hello?
Yes, hello. Sorry.
Sorry.
- I'm listening.
- Aunt Lucy is dead. I don't know...
I didn't even realize she was.
She was doing well and now she is...
Maybe it's for the best,
but I don't know how my mother...
I...
Sorry. I...
- Can I ask how you found us?
- In the Yellow Pages.
- Name?
- Dave.
- Who did you lose, Dave?
- Aunt Lucy.
- Did she pass away in your arms?
- No, I just found her.
That's all right.
It's better to find her than to lose her.
Okay. And shall I bring
Aunt Lucy over to you or...
We'll come to you
with a big plastic bag. Is that all right?
- Okay.
- Where do you need us to be?
- Hotel Poseidon.
- Oh, there.
- Yes, there.
- See you soon then?
- Yes.
- She's better off now, sir.
- This place is rotten.
- Thank you.
Goddammit, Jacki!
So, Dave, the buffet will be here.
In that corner.
Next to the radiator. In an I shape.
In case people get hungry
or they have a nasty craving.
A generous buffet. Beef stew,
vol-au-vent, red jelly, green jelly,
salted herring, tuna-filled peaches,
spaghetti and... Vietnamese.
All on one long table. White tablecloths.
And right here... The stage.
One band playing after the other.
The best in the land, or the area.
Anyway, best in the street.
And what about this? Here. Look.
The VIP section,
with a super VIP section behind it
and behind that,
all the VIP you can afford.
But first I'm going to... whet the whistle.
And then...
Here, here, there and at the back,
curtains, long curtains.
In a dark red,
which complements the yellow of the hall.
I say yellow, but it could be blue.
I'm a little colorblind.
And over here, large paintings.
I arranged some with the museum.
The night guard owes me
a couple of favors.
And we'll put the larger pieces over here.
But we need to leave
some dance space for when it gets late.
And for when it gets really late,
we need the space to uh... Eh?
You get me? Sure you do.
Is that a supporting wall? Can it go?
I need to know because we start in three
hours. What d'you reckon? Yes? Okay.
And then... A strobo over here.
There will be an act with dogs too,
the trick with the AK-47
and a live autopsy.
That is to say,
if my guy sticks to his word.
And over here, a machine
that simulates earthquakes, the Atomatron.
That'll be for the early hours.
And, Dave, to top it off,
we'll record everything.
We'll do digital and film.
They both have advantages,
but I can never pick one.
You won't know what hit you, pal.
What do you say to that?
Did you bring the money?
Are you kidding me?
Here. This is the money.
It's the deposit, anyway.
Right.
And you must be Dave.
- Yes, I am.
- Yes.
I am Amy.
- Aunty Luce.
- Lucy.
Yes, Lucy.
An old soul. You can tell.
Did she suffer much? No...
No need to tell me.
She's at peace now, eh?
- Death always comes too soon.
- It always comes unexpectedly.
- Was Aunty Luce insured?
- Lucy.
- Yeah, yeah, Lucy. Was she insured?
- Insured?
Uh, no.
What coffin were you thinking of?
- One that shuts.
- One that's sturdy.
- Death is violent, you know, sir.
- The bloating of the body.
- The bugs find their way in.
- You don't want to know.
- Funeral letters, memorial cards?
- Have both. Both.
- Did Aunty Luce have a lot of friends?
- Lucy.
Yeah, yeah, Lucy. A lot of friends?
The Bella Donna is our prime coffin.
- Cards, letters. 12,000 altogether.
- 12,000?
I didn't anticipate that.
- Death always comes unexpectedly.
- My father died, too.
- Yes, I...
- A cheap coffin...
- doesn't have to be any less pretty.
- Our cheapest model is the Returner.
- Letters only?
- A modest reception?
Modest. Definitely.
- Altogether?
- 15,000 altogether.
15,000? That's more than 12,000.
- And without the reception?
- 10,000.
- Say no more. Scrap the letters, too.
- 8,000.
Aunt Lucy wanted to be cremated, actually.
- An urn?
- Four. 4,000.
- What about a box?
- 2,000.
What if we don't fully cremate her?
Just part of her?
Her bottom half perhaps?
But... But with the letters included?
Tell you what.
Why don't you sleep on it? Eh?
Mom! Mom! No, no!
Sorry.
- Shame on you!
- Ill? Ill, you said!
That woman is dead.
I don't even know what to say.
Ill? I went and bought aspirin, Dave.
Can you imagine? 3.75 euros!
How could this happen? All you had
to do, was give her water every day!
Shame on you!
Don't forget. It's thanks to
her pension we're able to keep...
Got that?
We can barely keep our heads above water.
Nothing gets through to him.
Honey, honey... Think of your heart.
Listen here. When your dad died,
I dealt with it myself.
This one is on you.
Sit down.
Shall I tell you something?
When I was a kid, five or six years old...
I caught my parents
while they were doing it.
Pounding away at it.
When my father noticed me,
he jumped out of bed
and grabbed me by the back of my neck.
Like I was a dog
that took a shit in the house,
he pushed my nose into their dirty sheets.
I never watched those
two going at it again.
And look at you now.
Here you are.
A good-looking, young, grown man.
If you had been a kid now,
I would've pushed your nose in this filth
and you would've learned from it, no doubt.
But I won't do that. I won't.
But the way you're sitting here,
letting it all wash over you
and not being ashamed of anything,
that's not normal.
She doesn't show it,
but she's worried about you.
But you don't seem to care.
Don't you have feelings?
Or is something eating at you?
No matter what time of day, Dave.
You got my number.
Sjarel is always here to talk.
Goddammit! You're right! All right already!
You're right!
- Okay!
- It's okay. You're right. You're right.
Are you all right, pal?
You look a little pale.
Aunt Lucy is ill.
Is it serious or...?
She's dead.
Dead?
Then why would you say she's ill?
Dave?
Never mind.
My condolences, I suppose.
Sorry.
She can't be dead.
- Says who?
- The pension fund.
Listen, Dave.
If they don't find her,
they can't prove she's dead, can they?
You want Jacki to deal with it?
You want Jacki to deal with it?
I can't hear you.
You want Jacki to deal with it?
Yes, Jacki.
Jacki will deal with it. What do you say?
- Thanks, Jacki.
- There you go.
I'll sort it out.
Just let me have the hall for free.
And hand me back my deposit.
- Jacki. Where do you want it? Jacki?
- Over there's fine.
Right. Here they are.
Go on. That can go to the left.
- What's all this?
- Go, go.
Yes, well, you know...
Those trays go on the right.
All-you-can-eat chicken ragout, beef stew.
Would you like a tuna-filled peach, sir?
Did you get a stamp?
Show me. Hey. Hold on.
Hello, handsome. Want to dance?
Want to dance with me?
Dave? How are you?
Come here. Sit down.
Guys, this is Dave. My stepson.
- Handsome fella.
- Handsome fella.
Yes. He can't stop talking about you.
These are my pals. Beire and Gowie.
They're my pals. You see?
It's gonna look good.
Hold on. What are you having?
Want a drink?
I'll get you one. Guys, wait.
- Original.
- Dave. It's the eighties. Eighties, eh?
Don't you leave before we've danced.
Look who it is. Dave. Remember me?
Lyzette. Dave had a huge crush on me.
He made cassette tapes for me
and called me ten times a day.
- I caught him going through my handbag.
- Oh my God. When was that?
- Two years ago.
- Creepy.
- He tried to kiss me.
- And?
- No way.
- No fucking way.
Oh, Romeo.
Dave. Take this, man. Cheers.
I left Brigitte at home.
Some alone time with the guys. You get me?
Whoa! That's 16 euros'
worth of booze gone to shit.
Sorry.
Hands off!
Wow. You look a mess. Come with me.
I know what you need.
I can tell from a mile away.
- Got a towel?
- No. A dishrag. Here you go.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
- Hey.
- Dude...
No, Frank, I'm not doing it.
No, do it yourself.
No, Frank. I'm not doing it.
Do it yourself.
Because it's broken, Frank.
It doesn't work. No, Frank, no.
I'm not doing it. No.
You have a friendly face,
but you can't stop this.
You have a friendly face,
but you can't stop this.
You can't stop this.
You can't stop this.
- Look. Here he comes.
- Oh, is this him?
- That was him, yes.
- Wow, bravo.
Sorry I can't shake your hand.
I'm kind of busy.
Busy doing what? Stop it, already.
- Wow...
- It was no good, anyway.
Don't look so serious.
What's wrong?
You look like you've seen the devil.
Go on. Sit down.
- So serious.
- What can I get you, Dave?
Hm? And you?
You know all too well what you can get me.
We'll have a talk when I get back.
Bring us some head cheese.
She's a fox, man. She's a fox, pal.
What?
Oh, Romeo!
Dave? Dave? Come on.
Where did you go, man?
Here. Guys.
We need to talk about your future.
- Don't be scared. It's a good thing.
- We'll all be better off.
You bet. No, no, no. This is Ilona.
- Hello.
- She's got an interesting proposition
regarding the hotel, you understand?
I have a very interesting proposition
for you regarding the hotel.
That's right.
That's the problem. Too many
fucking hippies in an ungodly country.
- Absolutely.
- I don't understand, but I can follow.
Hey, Dave. Dave?
Here.
Do you smoke? No?
Good for you. Disgusting habit.
Coffee and cigarettes.
Can't get enough of them.
I am charred inside.
Happy? Your hotel, I hear.
Nice to see it's uh... Eh?
My parents and I were less privileged
and we lived with my father's two brothers.
The eldest had a type of skin disorder,
which made him look green.
And he smelled like sour rice pudding.
I didn't have my own bed,
so I had to sleep with him.
I had nightmares
every time I went to sleep.
The youngest was extremely religious and a
brute who couldn't keep his hands to himself.
When I was five,
he forced me to eat a kids' bible.
And my father was even worse.
He couldn't talk normally.
He was addicted to insecticide.
At my birthday party,
he strangled the neighbors' kid
and he and his brothers wolfed
that little boy down.
So my dad argued with my mom every day.
The brothers held her down,
cut her stomach with a knife
and slashed her face twice.
My mother ran away with me. She fled.
To this hotel. This hotel.
Room two. I'll never forget it.
A miserable room.
That same night, we went back home,
to my dad and his brothers.
But anyway... Nice to see it's uh... Eh?
And he rode a tall white horse
and hell's flames were licking at his heels
and he had earned the right
to destroy one fourth of the earth
with knives and famine,
with sickness
and all other earthly creatures.
Hallelujah. No one knows what happens.
No one knows what happens.
- Sorry.
- Really now, dude?
One more time.
Hey. Sorry, sorry.
Hey! It was an accident!
He's slow. Up here. He doesn't learn.
Just leave him be.
He's a boxer. Stay here.
I'm just going to...
Dave? Dave?
Come on. What are you doing?
I've been looking for you, man.
Come now.
Let's go. Here.
Guys, you're well-educated. Come on.
- What year was this built?
- In the seventies. I'm sure of it.
- No, the eighties.
- The seventies.
For the next five years,
you won't have to do shit.
- You're gonna do it yourself?
- Just do it. Do it.
- Here. Have some beef stew.
- No, no. He doesn't have a stamp.
- Jacki did a great job.
- Sixties. That's it.
- Definitely no earlier.
- The future is in student rooms.
- But not for just anyone.
- Rooms for everyone.
That's the future. Am I right?
You understand?
Where are you going?
No, Frank, I'm not doing it. No.
You do it. No.
No, I'm not doing it.
It's broken. It's in shreds.
I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it, Frank.
Sorry. Sorry. I got anger issues.
It's my fault. You can study,
learn and acquire knowledge all your life,
but you only remember the last thing.
The dying and the suffering.
Fuck off. Can't you tell he's a simpleton?
Let me take him home.
Wouldn't it be liberating
to not have to do anything?
No work, no ambition, no responsibilities?
To just lie on the floor?
To lie on the floor and let nature
take over with all its force?
And what if this never ends
and keeps going on and on?
Forever and ever.
Forever. Forever sounds a little
like "for heaven", don't you think?
He studied to be a vet,
but he works in a slaughterhouse.
He shoots with a gun.
Large metal nails, right here.
And you mess around
on your iPhone all day.
- You're a brute.
- Mess around all you like,
but you have to be able to look
at yourself in the mirror at night.
- All right.
- From the thirteenth floor down the stairs,
flung through a window,
a further three floors down.
He smashed his kisser
on the stone floor.
All the bones in his body
were broken in multiple places.
But prospects are looking good.
Hey, sorry, man. Sorry.
Oh my God.
How great. Look, everybody.
It's time for crazy autopsy!
This is it! This is it!
I can feel it. I can feel it.
Dude, this takes serious elbow grease.
Goddammit.
- Jacki? She's a tough old bat, Jacki.
- I'm beat.
- It bites right through my gloves.
- You be careful.
- Why? She's dead, isn't she?
- For your hands. Change your gloves.
- Good song. Can you turn it up, Jacki?
- Sure I can.
Hey. What are you looking at?
Nothing to see here, Dave.
- We... We are just two guys...
- Two guys.
- Playing kitchen.
- We'll clean up after we're done.
That's all, Dave.
- Sure thing.
- Sure thing.
- Sure thing.
- Sure thing.
- Cut that out now.
- Jacki.
By the way, how are things in there?
Are we missing out on much?
- He's not swallowing, Jacki.
- Quite a crowd, eh?
- No matter how hard I push...
- Save me some Vietnamese. Thanks, Dave.
Cut the crap, will you?
Our trespasses as we forgive
those who trespass against us.
Lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. Amen.
Coffee?
Serve yourself.
It's quiet.
The quiet before the storm.
Can you see anything? Your glasses.
Good song.
Cute girl.
Are you having a good one?
- Are you having a good evening?
- No.
- Want to talk about it?
- No.
Goddammit.
Stop. Can you stand still for five minutes?
Listen to me!
Can't you listen to me?!
What are you going to do?
What in God's name are you going to do?
What... What are you going to do?
What are you going to do about this?
Can't you see that?
Off!
Turn that off!
Off.
Turn it off.
Hey!
Enough! Off!
Turn it off!
What's wrong?
Stop it!
Stop? It's eight in the morning.
I've only just started.
Turn it off!
Stop it! It's been going on all day!
Turn it off!
It's fun.
Some collect stamps or butterflies.
I do...
- I'm not hurting anyone, am I?
- Turn it off.
Is something up?
What?
It's a sincere question.
Is something up?
- What?
- Yes.
Did something happen?
It's none of my business,
but why have neighbors if not to...
What?!
Mind if I ask you something?
Do you have a hobby?
Do you collect something?
Do you go out much?
For some fresh air?
Got something to look after? A turtle?
A plant or something?
Yeah, go ahead and laugh, but plants...
Do you have someone?
You got a girlfriend?
Or a boyfriend perhaps?
Truth be told, I don't know you
and you don't know me,
but I think your problem is... faith.
I'm not talking
about Catholicism or Buddhism.
I'm talking about personal belief.
A belief in something,
but mostly in yourself.
Do you get what I'm saying?
Without that... you uhm... well...
But a belief in others as well.
Or you can't get past your own thinking
and the older you get,
the narrower, here, in your head...
Let's make a deal.
Hello?
Do something today
you'd normally never do
and open yourself to it. That's all.
A way towards tomorrow.
Towards something fresh.
Never mind the future. That's too big.
Even tomorrow might seem... whoa.
Sure, I get it.
But do something you'd normally never do.
You got this! Come on!
Get out of that box, man!
And see what happens!
I know it isn't very profound,
but it's all I can do.
Start there, and don't look back.
Looking back leads
to demise, to the abyss.
To live without prospect, without
a joy of life, you don't want that, pal.
That's...
You might as well throw in the towel.
Sorry. Sorry.
I don't know you. I apologize.
But you might as well
throw in the towel because...
You'll have a miserable life every day, stand
in front of the mirror in the morning,
look at yourself...
and wonder, that is if you would
even ask yourself the question...
Is this it?
No way.
For Pete's sake. Goddammit.
You're kidding me.
Look what the cat dragged in.
The hero.
I've been fingerbanging like crazy
all afternoon. Where were you?
Sleeping.
And?
Do you feel rested?
There's porridge if you want some.
Are you coming tonight?
That depends on you,
whether I'll be coming tonight.
- Get me?
- Yes.
I just got called to a job.
Big clean-up.
A couple.
Been lying there for a week.
I can clean all I like, but that stench...
I'll carry it around for a month.
It gets everywhere. Under my nails.
My hair.
I was thinking of shaving it off.
What do you reckon?
A buzz cut, hm?
How about it?
Anyway...
You checking out my feet, Dave?
I got five minutes.
- I can't.
- Can't do, won't do.
Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Get a move on.
Two minutes on the clock or shall I do it?
- I can't.
- Dave!
When did you get so fucking boring?
Hello?
- It's shut!
- I just need a second.
- No, no.
- Can you please open up a second?
It's shut.
Hello? Please?
- It's shut.
- Just for a second. Just open up a second.
Dutchie.
Very nice of you to open up.
- Yes, my travel guide...
- Yes, but we're closed.
Oh. What time do you open?
- Shut!
- Shut?
Yes, it's no longer a hotel.
Oh.
- It'd just be for one night.
- Yes, but... no.
- No?
- No.
Come on. Just for one night?
No? Sure of it?
But...
Because... you have rooms, don't you?
I assume?
How about it?
One night.
I can pay.
Not the full price
because I don't have money.
Well, I do have some money.
- Are you the...
- Yes.
Of this... hotel.
It's uh... Ow.
Yes, it's uh...
Yes.
Perhaps uh...
It might be useful
if I filled something out?
If I filled something out now?
- Name?
- Yes.
- Address. Uh... Duration...
- Your pen doesn't work.
- Duration of your stay.
- Your pen doesn't work.
Oh well... Never mind.
- ID.
- ID?
- Yes, a piece of...
- Right.
Identification. Yes. Thank you.
- Nora.
- Yes.
Seven.
- Seven.
- Oh right. Seven.
- My favorite number.
- Really?
Elevator to the second floor,
end of the hall, last room on the right.
- Next to room six.
- No. Next to room five.
- Oh right.
- Because the even numbers are on one side.
- And the odd ones on the other.
- Yes.
Anything else I can...
for you?
- Yes. Could I have a... a cup of coffee?
- Just a second.
Okay.
Just a second.
I'll make fresh coffee.
Do you live here?
Temporarily.
Right.
I get it.
And what do you do?
- I'm a landscape gardener.
- A landscape gardener? Right.
That's quite a coincidence
because my father uh...
He collects fish.
- Collected fish.
- Oh.
- Why did he stop?
- Well, uh... He died.
- Oh, sorry.
- No need.
- No, sorry.
- No need.
I was a kid and this is his... hotel.
The family hotel, anyway.
I ran out of mugs, so I uh...
- Milk?
- Yes, please.
Okay.
Whoa!
Hello.
And who are you?
Sorry, I ran out of milk.
- Who is this?
- Aunt Lucy. My father's eldest sister.
Or is she on my mother's side?
I don't really know if she is family,
but she's old.
It's a miracle she's still alive.
- She's dead.
- No, no.
- She is.
- No, Aunt Lucy...
She...
She's dead.
I...
I have to get some of my stuff outside.
Thank you.
Hello? Hi, Mommy. Mom.
It's Dave.
Aunt Lucy is ill, so...
There. That's all. Call me back. Bye.
Yes? Hello?
Yes, hello. Sorry.
Sorry.
- I'm listening.
- Aunt Lucy is dead. I don't know...
I didn't even realize she was.
She was doing well and now she is...
Maybe it's for the best,
but I don't know how my mother...
I...
Sorry. I...
- Can I ask how you found us?
- In the Yellow Pages.
- Name?
- Dave.
- Who did you lose, Dave?
- Aunt Lucy.
- Did she pass away in your arms?
- No, I just found her.
That's all right.
It's better to find her than to lose her.
Okay. And shall I bring
Aunt Lucy over to you or...
We'll come to you
with a big plastic bag. Is that all right?
- Okay.
- Where do you need us to be?
- Hotel Poseidon.
- Oh, there.
- Yes, there.
- See you soon then?
- Yes.
- She's better off now, sir.
- This place is rotten.
- Thank you.
Goddammit, Jacki!
So, Dave, the buffet will be here.
In that corner.
Next to the radiator. In an I shape.
In case people get hungry
or they have a nasty craving.
A generous buffet. Beef stew,
vol-au-vent, red jelly, green jelly,
salted herring, tuna-filled peaches,
spaghetti and... Vietnamese.
All on one long table. White tablecloths.
And right here... The stage.
One band playing after the other.
The best in the land, or the area.
Anyway, best in the street.
And what about this? Here. Look.
The VIP section,
with a super VIP section behind it
and behind that,
all the VIP you can afford.
But first I'm going to... whet the whistle.
And then...
Here, here, there and at the back,
curtains, long curtains.
In a dark red,
which complements the yellow of the hall.
I say yellow, but it could be blue.
I'm a little colorblind.
And over here, large paintings.
I arranged some with the museum.
The night guard owes me
a couple of favors.
And we'll put the larger pieces over here.
But we need to leave
some dance space for when it gets late.
And for when it gets really late,
we need the space to uh... Eh?
You get me? Sure you do.
Is that a supporting wall? Can it go?
I need to know because we start in three
hours. What d'you reckon? Yes? Okay.
And then... A strobo over here.
There will be an act with dogs too,
the trick with the AK-47
and a live autopsy.
That is to say,
if my guy sticks to his word.
And over here, a machine
that simulates earthquakes, the Atomatron.
That'll be for the early hours.
And, Dave, to top it off,
we'll record everything.
We'll do digital and film.
They both have advantages,
but I can never pick one.
You won't know what hit you, pal.
What do you say to that?
Did you bring the money?
Are you kidding me?
Here. This is the money.
It's the deposit, anyway.
Right.
And you must be Dave.
- Yes, I am.
- Yes.
I am Amy.
- Aunty Luce.
- Lucy.
Yes, Lucy.
An old soul. You can tell.
Did she suffer much? No...
No need to tell me.
She's at peace now, eh?
- Death always comes too soon.
- It always comes unexpectedly.
- Was Aunty Luce insured?
- Lucy.
- Yeah, yeah, Lucy. Was she insured?
- Insured?
Uh, no.
What coffin were you thinking of?
- One that shuts.
- One that's sturdy.
- Death is violent, you know, sir.
- The bloating of the body.
- The bugs find their way in.
- You don't want to know.
- Funeral letters, memorial cards?
- Have both. Both.
- Did Aunty Luce have a lot of friends?
- Lucy.
Yeah, yeah, Lucy. A lot of friends?
The Bella Donna is our prime coffin.
- Cards, letters. 12,000 altogether.
- 12,000?
I didn't anticipate that.
- Death always comes unexpectedly.
- My father died, too.
- Yes, I...
- A cheap coffin...
- doesn't have to be any less pretty.
- Our cheapest model is the Returner.
- Letters only?
- A modest reception?
Modest. Definitely.
- Altogether?
- 15,000 altogether.
15,000? That's more than 12,000.
- And without the reception?
- 10,000.
- Say no more. Scrap the letters, too.
- 8,000.
Aunt Lucy wanted to be cremated, actually.
- An urn?
- Four. 4,000.
- What about a box?
- 2,000.
What if we don't fully cremate her?
Just part of her?
Her bottom half perhaps?
But... But with the letters included?
Tell you what.
Why don't you sleep on it? Eh?
Mom! Mom! No, no!
Sorry.
- Shame on you!
- Ill? Ill, you said!
That woman is dead.
I don't even know what to say.
Ill? I went and bought aspirin, Dave.
Can you imagine? 3.75 euros!
How could this happen? All you had
to do, was give her water every day!
Shame on you!
Don't forget. It's thanks to
her pension we're able to keep...
Got that?
We can barely keep our heads above water.
Nothing gets through to him.
Honey, honey... Think of your heart.
Listen here. When your dad died,
I dealt with it myself.
This one is on you.
Sit down.
Shall I tell you something?
When I was a kid, five or six years old...
I caught my parents
while they were doing it.
Pounding away at it.
When my father noticed me,
he jumped out of bed
and grabbed me by the back of my neck.
Like I was a dog
that took a shit in the house,
he pushed my nose into their dirty sheets.
I never watched those
two going at it again.
And look at you now.
Here you are.
A good-looking, young, grown man.
If you had been a kid now,
I would've pushed your nose in this filth
and you would've learned from it, no doubt.
But I won't do that. I won't.
But the way you're sitting here,
letting it all wash over you
and not being ashamed of anything,
that's not normal.
She doesn't show it,
but she's worried about you.
But you don't seem to care.
Don't you have feelings?
Or is something eating at you?
No matter what time of day, Dave.
You got my number.
Sjarel is always here to talk.
Goddammit! You're right! All right already!
You're right!
- Okay!
- It's okay. You're right. You're right.
Are you all right, pal?
You look a little pale.
Aunt Lucy is ill.
Is it serious or...?
She's dead.
Dead?
Then why would you say she's ill?
Dave?
Never mind.
My condolences, I suppose.
Sorry.
She can't be dead.
- Says who?
- The pension fund.
Listen, Dave.
If they don't find her,
they can't prove she's dead, can they?
You want Jacki to deal with it?
You want Jacki to deal with it?
I can't hear you.
You want Jacki to deal with it?
Yes, Jacki.
Jacki will deal with it. What do you say?
- Thanks, Jacki.
- There you go.
I'll sort it out.
Just let me have the hall for free.
And hand me back my deposit.
- Jacki. Where do you want it? Jacki?
- Over there's fine.
Right. Here they are.
Go on. That can go to the left.
- What's all this?
- Go, go.
Yes, well, you know...
Those trays go on the right.
All-you-can-eat chicken ragout, beef stew.
Would you like a tuna-filled peach, sir?
Did you get a stamp?
Show me. Hey. Hold on.
Hello, handsome. Want to dance?
Want to dance with me?
Dave? How are you?
Come here. Sit down.
Guys, this is Dave. My stepson.
- Handsome fella.
- Handsome fella.
Yes. He can't stop talking about you.
These are my pals. Beire and Gowie.
They're my pals. You see?
It's gonna look good.
Hold on. What are you having?
Want a drink?
I'll get you one. Guys, wait.
- Original.
- Dave. It's the eighties. Eighties, eh?
Don't you leave before we've danced.
Look who it is. Dave. Remember me?
Lyzette. Dave had a huge crush on me.
He made cassette tapes for me
and called me ten times a day.
- I caught him going through my handbag.
- Oh my God. When was that?
- Two years ago.
- Creepy.
- He tried to kiss me.
- And?
- No way.
- No fucking way.
Oh, Romeo.
Dave. Take this, man. Cheers.
I left Brigitte at home.
Some alone time with the guys. You get me?
Whoa! That's 16 euros'
worth of booze gone to shit.
Sorry.
Hands off!
Wow. You look a mess. Come with me.
I know what you need.
I can tell from a mile away.
- Got a towel?
- No. A dishrag. Here you go.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
- Hey.
- Dude...
No, Frank, I'm not doing it.
No, do it yourself.
No, Frank. I'm not doing it.
Do it yourself.
Because it's broken, Frank.
It doesn't work. No, Frank, no.
I'm not doing it. No.
You have a friendly face,
but you can't stop this.
You have a friendly face,
but you can't stop this.
You can't stop this.
You can't stop this.
- Look. Here he comes.
- Oh, is this him?
- That was him, yes.
- Wow, bravo.
Sorry I can't shake your hand.
I'm kind of busy.
Busy doing what? Stop it, already.
- Wow...
- It was no good, anyway.
Don't look so serious.
What's wrong?
You look like you've seen the devil.
Go on. Sit down.
- So serious.
- What can I get you, Dave?
Hm? And you?
You know all too well what you can get me.
We'll have a talk when I get back.
Bring us some head cheese.
She's a fox, man. She's a fox, pal.
What?
Oh, Romeo!
Dave? Dave? Come on.
Where did you go, man?
Here. Guys.
We need to talk about your future.
- Don't be scared. It's a good thing.
- We'll all be better off.
You bet. No, no, no. This is Ilona.
- Hello.
- She's got an interesting proposition
regarding the hotel, you understand?
I have a very interesting proposition
for you regarding the hotel.
That's right.
That's the problem. Too many
fucking hippies in an ungodly country.
- Absolutely.
- I don't understand, but I can follow.
Hey, Dave. Dave?
Here.
Do you smoke? No?
Good for you. Disgusting habit.
Coffee and cigarettes.
Can't get enough of them.
I am charred inside.
Happy? Your hotel, I hear.
Nice to see it's uh... Eh?
My parents and I were less privileged
and we lived with my father's two brothers.
The eldest had a type of skin disorder,
which made him look green.
And he smelled like sour rice pudding.
I didn't have my own bed,
so I had to sleep with him.
I had nightmares
every time I went to sleep.
The youngest was extremely religious and a
brute who couldn't keep his hands to himself.
When I was five,
he forced me to eat a kids' bible.
And my father was even worse.
He couldn't talk normally.
He was addicted to insecticide.
At my birthday party,
he strangled the neighbors' kid
and he and his brothers wolfed
that little boy down.
So my dad argued with my mom every day.
The brothers held her down,
cut her stomach with a knife
and slashed her face twice.
My mother ran away with me. She fled.
To this hotel. This hotel.
Room two. I'll never forget it.
A miserable room.
That same night, we went back home,
to my dad and his brothers.
But anyway... Nice to see it's uh... Eh?
And he rode a tall white horse
and hell's flames were licking at his heels
and he had earned the right
to destroy one fourth of the earth
with knives and famine,
with sickness
and all other earthly creatures.
Hallelujah. No one knows what happens.
No one knows what happens.
- Sorry.
- Really now, dude?
One more time.
Hey. Sorry, sorry.
Hey! It was an accident!
He's slow. Up here. He doesn't learn.
Just leave him be.
He's a boxer. Stay here.
I'm just going to...
Dave? Dave?
Come on. What are you doing?
I've been looking for you, man.
Come now.
Let's go. Here.
Guys, you're well-educated. Come on.
- What year was this built?
- In the seventies. I'm sure of it.
- No, the eighties.
- The seventies.
For the next five years,
you won't have to do shit.
- You're gonna do it yourself?
- Just do it. Do it.
- Here. Have some beef stew.
- No, no. He doesn't have a stamp.
- Jacki did a great job.
- Sixties. That's it.
- Definitely no earlier.
- The future is in student rooms.
- But not for just anyone.
- Rooms for everyone.
That's the future. Am I right?
You understand?
Where are you going?
No, Frank, I'm not doing it. No.
You do it. No.
No, I'm not doing it.
It's broken. It's in shreds.
I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it, Frank.
Sorry. Sorry. I got anger issues.
It's my fault. You can study,
learn and acquire knowledge all your life,
but you only remember the last thing.
The dying and the suffering.
Fuck off. Can't you tell he's a simpleton?
Let me take him home.
Wouldn't it be liberating
to not have to do anything?
No work, no ambition, no responsibilities?
To just lie on the floor?
To lie on the floor and let nature
take over with all its force?
And what if this never ends
and keeps going on and on?
Forever and ever.
Forever. Forever sounds a little
like "for heaven", don't you think?
He studied to be a vet,
but he works in a slaughterhouse.
He shoots with a gun.
Large metal nails, right here.
And you mess around
on your iPhone all day.
- You're a brute.
- Mess around all you like,
but you have to be able to look
at yourself in the mirror at night.
- All right.
- From the thirteenth floor down the stairs,
flung through a window,
a further three floors down.
He smashed his kisser
on the stone floor.
All the bones in his body
were broken in multiple places.
But prospects are looking good.
Hey, sorry, man. Sorry.
Oh my God.
How great. Look, everybody.
It's time for crazy autopsy!
This is it! This is it!
I can feel it. I can feel it.
Dude, this takes serious elbow grease.
Goddammit.
- Jacki? She's a tough old bat, Jacki.
- I'm beat.
- It bites right through my gloves.
- You be careful.
- Why? She's dead, isn't she?
- For your hands. Change your gloves.
- Good song. Can you turn it up, Jacki?
- Sure I can.
Hey. What are you looking at?
Nothing to see here, Dave.
- We... We are just two guys...
- Two guys.
- Playing kitchen.
- We'll clean up after we're done.
That's all, Dave.
- Sure thing.
- Sure thing.
- Sure thing.
- Sure thing.
- Cut that out now.
- Jacki.
By the way, how are things in there?
Are we missing out on much?
- He's not swallowing, Jacki.
- Quite a crowd, eh?
- No matter how hard I push...
- Save me some Vietnamese. Thanks, Dave.
Cut the crap, will you?
Our trespasses as we forgive
those who trespass against us.
Lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. Amen.
Coffee?
Serve yourself.
It's quiet.
The quiet before the storm.
Can you see anything? Your glasses.
Good song.
Cute girl.
Are you having a good one?
- Are you having a good evening?
- No.
- Want to talk about it?
- No.
Goddammit.
Stop. Can you stand still for five minutes?
Listen to me!
Can't you listen to me?!
What are you going to do?
What in God's name are you going to do?
What... What are you going to do?
What are you going to do about this?
Can't you see that?
Off!
Turn that off!